#but if i unfriend them then i will lose the one i like
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i do not have the energy to be friends with my current irl friends, but i am in no position to unfriend them
#fae's thoughts#and like. i feel like a shit person#but omfgs they frustrate me#i have only one who i actually like and im barely ever gonna see her from now#and its just.#i hate my social life#and yeah. its probably selfinflicted.#but i have nothing in common with them#and they are not nice to me!!#like they use me and they never think of me when makingplans and like#idk#just dont wanna deal with crap anymore im so drained#but if i unfriend them then i will lose the one i like#ughhhh
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honestly I think it’s pretty fucked up how much shit I got over my post.
“hey wait a second these Reddit discussions might be onto something-“ “YOU PEDO DEFENDER DELETE THE POST KILL YOURSELF GRAHHHHHH”
The shitty part is that I didn’t even actively seek out this info. my now ex was posting the Reddit shit in a discord server I owned, and I was like “wait whoa they might be onto something here”. Given it was already on Reddit I figured more people knew but god damn it was like I opened Pandora’s box.
Won’t say I didn’t fuck things up for myself and my friends. Someone tried to doxx my friend daenumao (unsuccessfully thank fuckin god), and I was too stubborn to delete the posts the minute things blew out of proportion. I thought I could handle it. I had gone through shit similar to this before, what with StickyBM trying to accuse me of a parasocial freak and Jordy claiming I doxxed them(only to find out it was their discord tag that got leaked). I thought I was doing the right thing. I knew how detrimentally destructive allegations could be, fake or not.
I sort of named my ex in there because I didn’t want to claim credit for what I had found. It wasn’t to throw her under the bus, and as soon as she asked me to delete the credit part, I did.
In a friend server I was in, I was being pinged about the situation nonstop. People were telling me to delete it, and it just felt like silencing me. I was getting harassed left and right. Someone started threatening me on tumblr(a platform I rarely used until now), people started bringing up fake or already resolved shit about me(had to clear that up on a fuckin Reddit thread), and basically everything started crumbling and falling apart.
Finally one of my friends pinged me and was like “delete the posts or I’m blocking you, don’t make me do this”. I had already set dms to friends only by that point, after hearing daenumao was being threatened. I got angry, unfriended her, and left the server. Shortly after, a couple friends sent messages saying they were cutting ties and to never contact them again. Then my girlfriend messaged me saying she was leaving me.
Right now I’m sort of trapped on what I can say without breaking boundaries of anyone. I never meant to invalidate the victims. At the time, my only intention was to raise awareness of “hey this is kinda inconclusive, you might wanna take a look at this”. I didn’t think it would blow up to the point I would get death threats and death wishes.
In a court of law, both sides are to share their experiences. The experience really just told me that the justice system of twitter is fucked beyond comprehension. The victims were quick to attack anyone who doubted their claims, and had no problem siccing their supporters onto anyone who didn’t fall in line. It honestly felt like I was being told, “SUPPORT THE VICTIMS OR DIE”. People are allowed to have doubts, and while I can understand where the victims were coming from, they didn’t care to show much proof denying some claims. One of the alleged victims even said “so many big names are supporting me so I’m right.” Bro what?
When I attempted suicide, it was for a lot of reasons. I have bad anxiety and getting attacked the way I was back there sent everything into overdrive. Not to mention losing about 95% of my friends over this crap. I was only on twitter mainly because I had friends there and would chat with them regularly. I don’t have many friends in real life and I’ve always been kind of a loner. So to see my support system fall apart over this, especially because I have HORRIBLE abandonment issues, fucked with my head.
I’m not happy as a person. I’ve been depressed for years and I’m not proud of it. I’ve been through more fucked up shit in my life than I can even begin to process. Growing up in a broken family, being treated like shit by my stepmother and put through so much abuse, flunking out of high school and falling through the cracks, running away at 19 and immediately being raped and molested by someone I saw like an older brother, being sexually and emotionally abused by an ex who blamed me for being raped, moving out of my aunts house only to be institutionalized from a suicide attempt 4 months later, being in the homeless system, being treated like shit by the government programs, being doxxed and swatted and harassed and had deepfakes made of me, possibly having a condition that means I’m likely to be dead from suicide by the age of 34, etc. Like, I’ve genuinely been through hell and back and a lot of people know it. Maybe more people than I should be telling.
I tend to over share, I vent too much, I go into slumps quickly, and overall I’m a fucking mess mentally. I had gone into a bad psychotic breakdown last week due to trauma and a bad reaction to new meds, so my mental state wasn’t exactly the best when this shit even started. By this point I was already having a sinking feeling that my girlfriend was planning on leaving me, and then a few days later she hit her breaking point.
When I typed up that final post, I genuinely didn’t know if I wanted to keep living. Hearing someone I was close to saying “you better stay alive because you deserve to live with what you did” was horrifying.
I’m a coward, without a doubt. I wanted out. But not from just this. I wanted out from everything. The few people who I was close to, or even people who had tolerated me to an extent, had basically told me to go fuck myself. It quite literally felt like I had lost everything.
I got ahold of some Tylenol and started filling up the bathtub. I had planned to overdose in the tub, hoping that if I went into a seizure from the medication, being submerged in water would limit the chances of me pulling out of said seizure. I’ve only attempted a few times in my life, so you can’t bash me too hard for not knowing how to do it.
As I started undressing, my iPad started ringing with a FaceTime audio call. It was my dad.
Somehow the situation found its way to him and he reached out to check on me. I don’t know if one of my friends contacted him, if he was already monitoring my accounts, or if it had just blown up that badly that even he(someone who doesn’t use twitter or own an account) had seen it. I tried to sound normal because it’s pretty rare for him to call me, but when he started bringing up what he saw, I broke down sobbing.
I explained everything to him, that I just wanted to help, and that I thought I was doing the right thing, and he told me to limit my social media exposure, because of how unhealthy it was becoming for me. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone with my actions. I worded things wrong and handled it badly, and I will wholeheartedly apologize for that. He explained to me that it was good that I wanted to do the right thing, but it wasn’t good to screw over my own mental health over this shit. He advised me to limit my social media usage to only those I could trust.(scary thing is, I didn’t know who all I COULD trust)While on call, I tried to deactivate my account but couldn’t because I forgot my fuckin password. All I could do is private my account and go dormant.
A few people reached out in Twitter dms and I spoke with many of them. They were extremely kind and supportive, and redirected me to the Mandela Catalogue Reddit forum, where I was welcomed in. I’ve been staying there, as well as occasionally posting on Tumblr. I’m scared to even touch my Twitter account with a 10 ft pole, and discord interactions have been next to none. I considered rebranding but I didn’t want to feel like I was trying to sneak my way out of accountability. I was just threatened and bashed so fuckin much that I didn’t feel safe interacting as myself, Anarchist Artist.
A bunch of people were screaming at me for linking Reddit threads and saying “YOU CANT TRUST REDDIT ITS FULL OF LIES” you’re literally using twitter which is probably WORSE when it comes to misinformation.
I never intended to fall down this rabbit hole of who’s right or who’s wrong. I will apologize for how I handled things and how I worded my post, but I will not apologize for speaking up about a story full of holes. For the victims to bully someone into submission is not mature or appropriate, and they should be held accountable as such. I have no intention of clearing my name, I have no intention to regain my friends or close ones, and I have no intention of saying “HA HA I TOLD YOU SO”. I just want shit to go back to even a slight semblance of normalcy.
Even if the victims’ stories are truthful to an extent, they way they have approached all of this is horrible and I’m upset that they endorsed harassing anyone who didn’t fall in line.
I’ll be here for now, but won’t post much. Everything is still a mess and I’m still concerned for my safety.
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april fool's . ot7
★ pairing: ex!ot7 x reader
★ summary: happy april fools, heres a collection of how i think each bangtan member would react if you tried to play a prank on them pretending that you didn't break up.
★ author's note: haven't written in so long this felt … weird. also, idk writing bts reactions in the year of 2024 felt weird too, but i feel like this falls directly into lines with the spirit of april fool's day, being an absolute fucking clown🤡. happy holiday!
KIM SEOKJIN
You and Seokjin had broken up on good terms and it's only been a few weeks and you thought it would be funny to mess with him a little so you came up with a plan. You greet him all lovingly, hand him the coffee you stopped to grab on the way to work. Give him a peck on the cheek saying "Good morning Handsome” And he's confused for like 10 seconds. You can see the genuine confusion on his face but then he sees the tugging at the edge of your lips and oh. He gets it. And it's on, like this is a competition now and he's not losing.
You're getting gaslit right the fuck back, if you thought for even a moment this man wasn't going to match your energy you're wrong. Like you're gonna end the day going home with him, he's gonna make dinner and wine and dine the fuck out of you and now your little april fools joke has ended with the two of you are back together (or friends with benefits at the least).
MIN YOONGI
No. Is not entertaining it. In the slightest.
Like as soon as you hit him up with the Hi baby, and trying to be all cute and lovey you get 5 minutes of genuine confusion before he's just giving you a “Oh really?? This is what we're doing?” expression.
You absolutely will end up apologizing.
JUNG HOSEOK
Goes along with it but because he's very confused and like lowkey concerned — is this acute amnesia? Like especially when he's like "??? we broke up???” and you're like haha what're you talking about silly like full out gaslighting this man into thinking the relationship is still completely the same. And he will just be concerned. Looking at everyone else like this is weird right like this isn't just me this is fucking weird right?
KIM NAMJOON
part two of people you will end up apologizing to. You're getting that jaw clench from Namjoon.
Like as soon as this little game starts he's pissed. like this is not funny to him in the slightest. You're getting a lecture about how it's not fucking funny to play with people's emotions and you're gonna end up feeling very guilty and will be apologizing, profusely.
PARK JIMIN
For Jimin I feel like it depends on how soon it's been since the break up and why you broke up — like if it's wasn't that serious oh it's gonna be Jin 2.0. Congrats you're back together because you're playing psychological chicken and neither of you are backing down. However if it was a serious/hard break up, and you're now just friends again — no, it's no. Consider yourself unfriended 🤍
KIM TAEHYUNG
he would be the one to prank you with acting like you didn't break up. mutual agreement you're both just now in a relationship again, neither of you know how this happened but you both got the same fuck ass idea. congrats you're made for each other. 🤍
JEON JUNGKOOK
a mistake you will never make again, he's gonna be a little pouty and annoyed at first and then it's gonna turn into “ahh jagiya remember how you said you were gonna make my favorite for dinner tonight?” and using his big bambi eyes for evil and getting everything he wants.
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Where I got info ^^^^^^
Four exhibits very surreal mannerisms, one of them is the screech to stun them.
I screech earbleedingly aswell, screaming and screeching is my middle name lmfao
Although Four seems to be calm most of the time, they do get angry in many episodes, but he does have good manners every now and then, plus they have a mysterious, sadistic and narcicist personality where they use their powers to harm the contestants just for their own fun.
I have that issue aswell, I’m very sadistic and narcissistic when it comes to my ocs.. sadly I enjoy tormenting them (mentally is my favorite way <33) and in the past when I was younger, I used to abuse my sisters for my own pleasure, since I thought I was the best out of all of them..
Four was shown to want a sense of dominance in the show
Me to my sisters.. the feeling of being under someone is so unbearable, I have to deal with that is school everyday, so being dominant towards my sisters is bound to happen..
When provoked, Four would show no mercy and would even do things such as dissemble close friends out of anger, even lacking remorse in the process. In "Four Goes Too Far", Four mistook Nickel's response to calling David and Roboty "the only two non-objects on the team" criticism (which they could not tolerate very well). Four threatens to zap Nickel, with A Better Name Than That's plan being the only thing stopping the attack.
Sooo if disassemble was like unfriend/block, and the criticism being taken personally is very relatable, in fact, when my sister ever tells me any constructive criticism I always see it as an insult to my hard work, which sucks.. And for the “disassembling” part, I can be very close to a friend but if they piss me off/trigger me just once in a bad way, it would definitely make me ignore/block them, plus if disassemble counted as hitting, In the past I used to really abuse my sisters which I guess fits
In "Enter the Exit", Four seems to be a lot calmer, friendlier, and humbler, most likely because the contestants recovered them. They were noticeably less violent than before. After their return, they didn't screech anyone until "Return of the Rocket Ship", adding onto how friendly they became, but still will not hesitate to zap those who bother them.
The change in hostile behavior is something that I really went through, and the fact that four still hurts when someone irritates them is something I still do (as I’m typing this I literally hit my sister because she said my XO board was drawn wrong lmfao,,)
Then this shows Four's personality in more depth as well as their possible motivations: they seem to be childish. They act like a control freak because they want everyone to stay with him forever, explaining their narcissism and cruelty when hosting the show. Four throws tantrums when things don't go their way and strongly dislikes being abandoned (possibly due to them losing their playthings) to the point where they cry and refuse to let X console them since they think that X will abandon them too. After the split, Four seems to be nicer to the contestants and shows more personality. Toward the end of the episode, after the split took place and Two took nearly all of the contestants, Taco tells Four that they lost over half of the contestants. Instead of being angry or sad, Four makes light of the situation by saying BFB has "advanced" to its final 14 contestants.
This whole thing is just me, specifically when something huge bad happens like the split, I end up just trying to see the good side of everything, specifically the fact that I’m a bit obsessed with the fact of being some sort of host for something
In "Uprooting Everything", when it comes to Purple Face asking if he could be a co-host, Four immediately declines, stating they have a better co-host. Four was down about the last four contestants complimenting X's position and saying they were a "good host" than not recuperating the same to Four.
If purple face was my younger sister and my middle sister was the better co-host,, this would definitely fit, then the growing jealousy from the better co-host because of how much they’re liked irl is way too fucking relatable
In "Chapter Complete", it is shown that they have an insecure side. They become upset that the contestants do not want him as their host, and instead chooses to leave them forever.
This ^^^^
However, Gelatin told him that they indeed like him, but it was just that they did not like being hurt and tortured for his own benefit. Hearing this, he has a change of heart. He starts apologizing to everyone and becomes nicer to them.
After I started to change this is what I did, I specifically apologized to my sisters, since they were the ones I hurt the most
In "The Great Goikian Bake-Off", Four reverts back to his pre split personality and acts chaotically again. This is most likely because he is still mad at the old contestants, or he is just doing his job to protect the hotel's food.
Mad at old friends or protecting my room, iPad or literally anything that’s mine
Wow I guess that just makes me the silly billy—
UURGEHJRUEJEHHRGEGHEJURUEGHRURUEHEURUUURHEHHRHHR YAYYAYYYY
NOT ME BIEING HAPPY THAT SOMEONE CARES???!!?
@scrollinonhere
YYEGAGHEHYAYYEYEYYAYYEYHEHEYYYEEE!!
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How they were translated: Korean SIX
Brought some lines and lyrics from Korean Production of SIX. Take a look at how they were translated!
* notes: the lines and lyrics may not be fully accurate, 'cause I wrote them only depending from my memory.
[Ex-wives]
Remember us from PBS/GCSEs?
▶ Remember us from History Special? 우리 역사 스페셜에서 봤지?
(note: History Special is one of the most popular TV show in Korea, broadcasted during 1998-2012. They mada a right localization!)
You're gonna find out how he got unfriended
▶ You're gonna find out the reason I blocked him. 알게 될 걸 그를 차단한 이유
But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic
Funny how we all discuss that
But never Henry's little-
▶ So he's disappointed with my actual look
Do you think you're the only one who's disappointed?
Your tiny and little-
근데 실물 보고 달라서 실망했대
지만 실망한 줄 아나
작고 작은 너의 소중이
(OK so Korean Cleves didn't just 'unfriended' but 'blocked' Henry… and she slays 🤣)
[No way]
Well daddy weren't you there
When I gave birth to Mary?
(spoken) Aw, hi baby
Daughters are so easy to forget
▶ What was the word Mary calls you?
(spoken) Daddy
So daughters are not enough to be your children
우리 딸 메리가 뭐라고 부르지 널
아빠
딸은 자식 아닌가보지
+ and Korean Aragon says 'Hola' instead of 'Muy Bien' at the beginning.
[Don't Lose Ur Head]
L-O-L, say "oh well"
Or go to hell
▶ Ha-ha-ha, just laugh at it
Or just shut up
하하하 웃든지
아님 닥쳐줘
Your comment went viral / Wow Anne, way to make the country hate you
▶ You've got so many mean tweets / You've got million haters
너 악플 쩔더라 / 백만 안티
(especially loved this one😂 gives bit of K-POP industry vibe)
[Haus of Holbein]
Ignore the fear and you'll be fine
We'll turn this vier into a nine
So just say "ja" and don't say "nein"
▶ It's okay don't worry
We're photoshop them das is gut
Never doubt them das is gut
괜찮아 걱정하지마
뽀샵해줄게 das is gut
의심하지마 das is gut
[Get Down]
Get down, you dirty rascal
▶ Get down and bow to me 엎드려 절하여라
(and when Korean Cleves says this her tone is like a character from historical drama👍)
[Howard Intro]
Nice neck by the way
▶ What a pretty neck you've got! By the way you still have it!
너 목 정말 예쁘다! 그나저나 아직까지 달려있구나
(so Korean Boleyn's got Regina George vibe love them)
[All You Wanna Do]
But my dad's got this amazing job at the palace
▶ My dad's got me amazing internship at the palace
근데 아빠가 궁전에 끝내주는 인턴 자릴 잡아준거야
(they translated it as 'internship' and I wonder why🤔 Maybe to emphasize how young Howard is?)
[Parr Intro]
Ooh, “I’m Catherine Parr, I draw lines in arbitrary places.” Blah-blah!
▶ "Hello, I'm Catherine Parr, came to draw lines in your conscience." ZIP!
안녕 난 캐서린 파야 양심에 선을 긋겠어 찍-
(and Ryeowon's Howard was damn cute when she says ZIP!)
[Six]
His mates were super arty
But I showed them how to party
▶ My friends are Artistic
My Parties are Fantastic
내 친구는 아티스틱
내 파티는 판타스틱
(Cleves says the word 'Aristic' and 'Fantastic' in English 😆)
…and for the last, I bring you how my favorite lyrics from SIX were translated into Korean!
We're one of a kind No category
Too many years Lost in history
We're free to take Our crowning glory
▶ No one can make category on us
Our own history that was forgotten
Taking back my freedom and glory
우릴 하나로 묶을 순 없어
잊혀졌던 우리의 역사
내 자유 영광 이제 되찾아
It's the end of the show, of the histo-remix
We switched up the flow and we changed the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But we wanna say before we drop the curtain
Nothing is for sure, nothing is for certain
All that we know is that we used to be six wives
▶ Our show is about to end re-writing the history
Our own lyrics we changed and singing
Everyone knows we were that six wives
We wanna say before the show ends
Do not be certain for anything you know
We are not that six wives everyone used to know
이제 끝나가는 쇼 다시 쓰는 역사
바꿔 부르는 우리만의 가사
모두가 알지 우리가 바로 식스 와이프
쇼가 끝나기 전에 얘기할래
니가 아는걸 확신하지마
모두가 알던 우리가 아냐 식스 와이프
I know there are lots of negative comments among Korean theater fans, about how poor the Korean translations are. But I did like some parts. I won't say I'm fully satisfied with the translations but some parts were really touching just like the original ones. Hope they make progress in the future. 😊
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One of the saddest things about depression is how it ruins the social circles you've spent years in building.
Some examples from my life:
My ex of many years started cheating and left me for another person because I got depressed
Most of my friends opted out after the "novelty factor" of my depression wore out (some months in) and I was just being, well, depressed and sad and negative
More friends opted out after a su1c1de attempt because it didn't fit into their worldview
You lose ALL your friends from almost two decades back who you've stick with through their hard times (divorces, breakups, unemployment, tough financial times etc.) and who have said things like "I'll always be by your side not matter what"
It's not that the ex friends just stopped talking to you, many of them unfriended or even blocked you on social media (I don't post anywhere outside of Tumblr so I didn't share depressing stuff etc., literally just existed in the shadows)
Some of your few friends who are left say things like "all my other friends say they don't understand why I still talk to you after all this"
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im kinda having a breakdown so i need advice as soon as ur ready!
sp unfriended me on something and friended the girl im worried about. sp then hung out with her on halloween. im tired of these months passing by. im scared theyll date. im scared ill lose him to her. i love him so much im just tired of waiting but idk how to even "imagine" hes mine without knowing im trying to get him. i rlly am upset about the 3p and im scared that its getting close to one year of separation. i just feel kinda down and like ive been delusional all year
first of all i'd advise since you're upset about the situation that you allow yourself to cry over it, truly get all of your emotions out and i promise after you'll already start to feel a bitter better and more neutral about the situation
the law is all down to what you are aware of in imagination. there is no separation between the "3d" and "4d" since the outer world is just a shadow, an illusion. understanding that YOU are the one deciding that the outer world is real is key. events that take place in it are not real outside of your awareness that they are happening.
your fear that they will date stems from you believing that there is something outside of you and that you are not the one in control. in fact, the reason that you are seeing them pop up together more and more is BECAUSE you are aware of the two of them being together.
your fear of them dating and manifesting FROM this fear is actually putting your awareness more on them being together.
the only way to stop them from being together is by completely abandoning the state of them being an issue. instead, focus your awareness entirely on the fact that you are already in a relationship with your sp
"to dissolve a problem that now seems so real to you, all that you do is remove your attention from it" - neville
one of my personal favourite techniques is imagining that i have ALWAYS been in a state. so in your case, imagine that you and your sp have always been together. this eliminates any fears about how long it's been or if they're with someone else because you've always been in a relationship
remember, it's all down to you
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I needed somewhere to compile these thoughts.
I am stating now that this isn't about any person individually, but rather about my 30+ years on this earth.
It is easier, even moreso online but still in person, to deal with someone you Don't Get Along With and Don't Like, than someone who you actually Do Like yet Have Trouble With. In part because it's usually really easy to recognize a more general "Oh I Don't Like You" than to recognize and address both why someone might, e.g. make you feel a bit drained after interacting with them. There's more nuance to it, and that's not always easy. And moreso, it's easy to erode your own boundaries in the attempt to please others, to not rock the boat. I do this a lot.
An element that makes it more difficult online to feel like you could address these things is that the way things are named shapes how we think about them, and there is in fact a strong delineation between "someone who I find amicable and have a relatively positive relationship with" and "someone who I am willing to let do certain things in computer programs e.g. private messaging", but both of those are defined by the word 'friend'.
I get anxiety about being messaged or messaging in PMs sometimes, thanks to some bad history with being made to be the shoulder to cry on by some... I don't know if I'd call them abusive people, but at points in their lives where the action itself may have been abusive. And who triggers that anxiety isn't super clear in my brain. That doesn't mean I don't like these people, but that if I want to keep having a friendly relationship with them, I may need to "unfriend" them so as not to generate an association between them and anxious feelings.
The lose-lose situation is, if I just quietly do that, it has the high likelihood of hurting that person's feelings because, well. Thanks to the way contacts have been turned into 'friends', I just Stopped Being Friends With Them. If I try to address them with these concerns, it's a whole thing, and also massively drives up my anxiety, and possibly turbo-charges the negative associations.
Of course, the "middle ground" where I just hide from someone is the worst of both worlds, but I've never claimed to be a healthy individual.
This is why I've more recently tried to be more restrictive about who I accept contact "friend" requests from, because if I can catch myself and take the time to process, it's easier to address those thoughts earlier than later. This is not a practice I've always been great at.
It's also a loss that e.g. Discord doesn't have Automatic Reply messages the way older clients like Aol Instant Messenger or Microsoft Messenger had, where if someone messaged you they'd get a pre-written response. You might still Be Able To Respond after that, but they'd get the one pre-written.
I wish that was still a thing. It was originally just like sort of... A way to simulate status messages, I guess? Back when there wasn't the infrastructure to just look at it in the UI. But I'd still like to separately have an auto-respond, so I can be like "Hey, if you're seeing this, and I don't follow up with a written response, just know that I'm trying to set my own boundaries better, and that means I'm limiting my PMs. If you suddenly can't message me, this is nothing against you, I just need to set my boundaries." Or something like that. I don't know what would make it work best.
... Something about CPTSD or something, I don't know, maybe the 'best solution' is to completely rewire my brain so all of this isn't even a problem.
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Ok there's this thing that Discord on PC does. If you have a mutual friend with someone, and you're looking at the chat with them, sometimes the thing that says "# mutual friends" flashes for a split second.
For years, I've hated that. Every single time, I thought the flashing meant that yet another friend had unfriended me for no reason, and without warning, and that flash is the number updating. It's stupid, but every time, it caused my blood to run cold and caused me to check that all of my friends still like me. Every single moment, my longtime friendships with people I'd known for years would be hanging on by a thread. Any moment, one of them could cut contact with me and I would never know why.
It's been a while since I even noticed it, until today. I saw the split second flash again, and my blood ran cold. I immediately snapped out of it, however, because I knew that my current friends would never do that. They never suddenly change their behavior for no reason. They've never blocked me or even so much as gotten into a decent argument with me. It no longer feels like every waking action I take is in effort to not lose my friends.
I feel like crying. I've always wanted this. This isn't even about feeling loved or accepted. I'm just happy that no one secretly hates me anymore. No one is holding a grudge against me or looking for excuses to leave me anymore. Even just two people treating me like a normal person is the most wonderful experience I've ever known.
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Okay so I really, really didn't want to have to make this post and it took me… a lot to get to this point and i thought about it last night whether or not it would even do any good but in the end… well. i need to stop letting people walk all over me and drag me through the mud after everything i've done for them.
now, this post isn't meant as a callout or to have anyone "choose sides" or any of that childish stuff. it's just me being able to defend myself from the shit being said about me. i don't care who anyone is friends with or writes with. that's not my business nor is it my prerogative to dictate that kind of stuff. both can exist peacefully.
and yes, i will be naming who it is that is causing shit, because for once she needs to be held responsible and accountable for her actions.
so i've been dealing with some shit the past couple months and i guess it finally came to a head?? i don't know who has seen abi's ( wiredsmile + about a dozen other blogs ) post yesterday about me basically casting her aside and using her just when i need her. well all of that is bullshit.
now, i do have receipts for everything i'm going to be saying but because the point of this is NOT a callout, if you want to see them i am more than happy to send them to you privately.
i'm also prepared to lose a lot ( more ) people because of this, but i needed to at least try and defend myself. to show that i'm not some heartless person like i'm being made out to be.
there's a reason i severed the friendship between us. on three separate occasions she had betrayed my trust and tried to start shit amongst our shared friend group. she has actively tried to turn people against me ( and still is apparently ). she's also lied about what i've said and did on numerous occasions.
i have never cast her aside, but when she broke my trust not once… not twice.. but three times, it grew harder and harder to stay as close to her as i once was. i tried to let it slide, i did. because she was one of my best friends, but it kept happening and then i kept being made to feel bad because I was the one being distant and making her feel bad.
when she should have felt bad.
i had approached her about this behavior after every time it happened. and i thought maybe my boundaries would finally be acknowleged but alas.. it would happen again.
but what really sealed the deal was the fact that we were in a group verse together where is where i made my oc ( bandit ) and we shipped together and it was fine. well the group kind of dissolved and other ones rose. well, i decided to branch out my oc and explore some ships with him and she got mad at me because i wasn't shipping with her with this one character in this one verse ( we were shipping outside of that, it was just this one verse ), and then decided to talk shit behind my back to people and try and steal my friends just so she could flaunt them in front of me.
it got worse when things shifted to another verse. i was made to feel guilty about who i wrote with, who i shipped with, and who i was friends with.
we lost most contact when she started something horrible between me and a couple friends of mine and i came to her privately about it and she gave me a cookie cutter apology ( she also sent the same one, verbatim to one of the other ones she lied about ), but i was on vacation at the time and could not reply to it fast enough. by the time i did, i was unfriended on discord and blocked across tumblr and that's when she went on her run of playing the victim about how she was cast to the side and treated so badly.
she got someone else, evie ( who had also been a friend of mine ) to make a julie blog ( deadlysmile ) and all but lifted my blog for it, including the url and started saying how horrible she was being treated.
when i tried talking to her about it, because it bothered me because i have worked hard on julie and i had done a lot to build a world with both my julie and her suzie. she blocked me and again, tried to play the victim and dragged the friend in as well who called me names on a vague post.
so that brings us to the now.
now she's saying i treated her horribly and i used her and none of that is true. she was one of my best friends and i loved her. i supported her however i could. emotionally.. financially. whatever she needed i did my very best to help. i never cast her aside or suzie or any of her muses. i never used her just for my own enjoyment. i never did any of that. i was the best friend i could be until she stabbed me in the back and even then i gracefully bowed out. i never said anything bad about her, i didn't drag her name. i didn't do any of that. i simply cut ties with her because that was what i needed for my own mental health.
i try and be good to everyone around me. i try to be the best friend i can be. and it upsets me and breaks my heart to see myself get dragged and lied about for things i never even did.
so if you made it this far, thank you. i love you all.
#so like i said i really didn't want to do this#but i'm so tired of being made out to be the bad guy#i put most under a cut bc its long#OOC ✧ ⎨ 𝑖 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑎 𝑚𝑎𝑛，𝑖 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑎 🐇#drama tw
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Hey!! ❣️ I need your help badly. I stupidly started dating a close friend of mine which lead to the most toxic relationship that lead to both of us losing our best friends. We’re broken up now but are still in each others lives as friends but the damage has been done to our friendships outside the relationship. I’ve been on no contact for years now with an old best friend who I miss so much, we stopped being friends after we each got into our own relationships and things between us got bad, so she stopped talking to me cause of something stupid. I want her back in my life sooo bad but 1. Idk how she’ll ever come back into my life after easily unfriending me and moving on, 2. I want her to forget the things she unfriended me over, and 3. it’s complicated cause my now ex has issues with her and I can’t have both in my life at the same time and I hate it. I want them both in my life and for both of them to be neutral with each other like they were before all the problems started. The same thing happened with my now ex, they lost all their friends when our relationship started and I feel it’s my fault cause I’m a jealous person. How can I fix everything and essentially go back in time to change everything as if nothing happened and we’re all the same as before, having our old selves/ friends back? I want to be my old best friend’s favorite person ever idc how delusional that is haha I want her to be obsessed with me and to forget the friends she had before me that are still in her life now and I want the same for my now ex, to have ALL their friends back as if they’ve never taken a break from each other and been close and hanging out together all this time. I want everyone to forget everything and just be our normal selves again. I’ve never tried revising before so is this something to revise to fix everything i mentioned? Please give me all the advice/tips you have, we’ve become loners and I miss my old self and I know they feel the same way. Ps. I’m sorry my ask is so long I tried to make it as short as I could while explaining as much as possible to make sense. Thank you for your help!!!!
Hi lovely! Don't worry about the ask being long, you needed to explain your situation and that's okay!!
First off, stop assuming that they don't like you or don't want to be around! You assuming that must be reflected so if you change that assumption the 3d he to conform to the new assumption! You can revise your situation by deciding that the unwanted circumstances never happened and permitting in that assumption or by deciding you went back in time and persist in that assumption! Either way will work! You are the creator, you created these circumstances, so you can change them! Everything is imagination, once you accept that everything will become easy! Your 3d is a mirror, it only reflects so you need to go within your imagination and accept your desires. Give yourself your desires within and the 3d must conform! Forget about logic completely, loa and logic do NOT correlate! Logic is a manmade construct, you do not need to be logical here. You can manifest immortality if you wanted so this is not hard nor impossible! My best advice is to fully understand that you are the creator and that you have created everything, meaning this is just another thing you created. Which shows how easy it is to change it! The 3d is extremely malleable so anything you can imagine can easily be reflected instantly if you accept so! Don't worry about time, logic, circumstances, or any outside source! None of these things exist so you are the one and the only thing that exists or matters, you only need to focus on your inner man {imagination} the rest will reflect. You got this! I believe in you, now go manifest your desires!
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First Post
✨so get to know me and the characters I will be writing abt✨
✨Me ✨ : Name online is street ghost I am a “ writer” who enjoys coffee, pasta, books, and music. Favorite book I have read so far is six of crows. Favorite film is unfriend. I been writing since I was 8. And right now it’s is 01:39 as writing this.
Know get to know the lovely ( mc) characters
Violet Haven
Violet is 15 years old while having the power to manipulate shadows. The weapon she uses the most is a double bladed scythe. Violet is overall an introvert. When around people she knows such as her brothers she can talk a lot. Violet pasts the free time while eating sushi and making hand made jewelry. Violet is hot headed despite being nice to Niko. But Violet is terrified about the idea of her past coming to haunt her.
Niko Haven
Niko is a Greek American 14 year old who enjoys archery and his power to manipulate his own blood. Which lead him to keep a bow slung over his shoulders often. Niko hobbies are reading and learning new things Niko can be quite when he wants to- he often does though because he doesn’t find pleasure in talking to people. There are a few people who are exceptions ofc. Niko is scare of rejection due to how his past was.
Scott Haven
Scott is the oldest and the British among the Havens being at 17. He has the power/magic of manipulative lighting/ electricity. His biggest fear is abandonment due to how his mother just left him with his mentally absent dad. But this also makes him loyal and very caring towards the people he cares about. His signature weapon is a pair of throwing hatchets
( so these are the characters about the big book I am writing abt the other characters are from a side book)
Raven Raith
( Raven is one of my newer characters so sorry if her introduction seems odd)
Raven is only 18 years old yet has a gift, the art of crime. A murder who doesn’t get caught. A Gonfo who is a sly as a fox. But the thing is Raven wasn’t force into this life, she chose it. Raven is quite, depending on the person, she might state her opinion, but often she listens to the person speaking and finds a flaw or lie. Raven biggest fear is losing her freedom. Even as she works for Tris, she can pick who she kills and how. Losing her freedom means losing her life. She doesn’t find laws as way to protect people. She finds them as aways to protect people who should be slaughtered.
Milo Àngel Resucitado
Milo was aways a trouble maker. To when he lived in Fallen Rain to the day he was shipped of to Edam He was actually shipped off because when he lived in a boy school he cause so much chaos he was sent on a ship to be a slave. The only reason Milo survived living in Edam was because of Raven. Who originally wanted to kill Milo. But once she saw the glint of trickery in his eyes she knew this boy would be perfect as her partner in crime. Even though Milo was only 14 when he entered the world of crime he made himself a name already. Milo is quite the opposite of Raven, being loud when talking to people and isn’t afraid to put his opinion out. His biggest fear is losing himself. So he set him self 3 moral rules he will never cross.
This took way to long - there are more characters ofc but these are the main ones I enjoy/ and writing abt. Soooo yeah. Hope yal like my characters.
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Notes passed between Barty and Regulus, sitting in their dorm, January 1st 1976
Barty
Regulus
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you receiving this note?
I’m sitting right next to you, clearly I am receiving this note. Why are we talking through notes when we’re sitting right next to each other ON THE SAME BED?
This is serious serious stuff, I can’t say this to your face with actual words
Let me guess.
No
You have another crush?
Kinda but not what you think.........
Ominous....
I don’t know who that is but it’s not them
Ominous isn’t a person... it’s a word. Forget it. Just tell me.
Promise you won’t hate me?
I’m incapable of hating you.
But still promise...
I promise I won’t hate you.
Don’t think I’m gross.
I won’t.
Actually I’m chickening out, I’ll tell you some other time
Barty. Tell me right now or I’ll stop entertaining this writing notes thing and make you tell me to my face.
FINEEEEEEEE
‘Fine’ doesn’t contain that many letter ‘E’s.
Who CARES. ANYWAY, my secret is....
Oh the suspense...
You aren’t taking me seriously. You’re being sarcastic.
I’m sorry, just tell me. I promise you can trust me, okay? Please? I really want you to tell me.
Okay. So...
Yes?
I may or may not like boys
.... Meaning?
I like boys
Romantically?
Yes, if you’re going to unfriend me please do it nicely
I like boys too.
(They stop writing notes to each other at this point, everything after this is spoken)
Barty: WHAT!?
Regulus: Yeah, I um, I like boys. Wow, that’s the first time I’ve said it aloud.
Barty, staring at Regulus wide-eyed: Wow, I never would have guessed.
Regulus: Well I never would have guessed about you either, you always have a new crush on some girl.
Barty: I like girls too.
Regulus: Oh... I-I don’t.
Barty: You don’t?
Regulus: Does that make me... abnormal?
Barty: No! Not at all! I thought I was the abnormal one for liking both.
Regulus: I don’t think that’s abnormal at all.
Barty: So we’re both normal?
Regulus: I think we are!
Barty: Thank Merlin! I’m so glad I told you. I feel like I’ve bottling this up inside for like... years. Scratch that, I have been bottling this up inside for years.
Regulus: Since when?
Barty: Second year.
Regulus: Really?
Barty: Yeah...
Regulus: Do you... have feelings for someone? A boy?
Barty: Um...
Regulus, sensing Barty’s nervousness: You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.
Barty: I um... I don’t. Not right now. Do you? You know, have feelings for a boy?
Regulus: No. Definitely not. Not at the moment.
Barty: Oh. Okay.
Regulus: But I’ll tell you when I do.
Barty: Oh yeah, definitely! I’ll tell you too!
Regulus: Thanks for telling me. I’ve wanted to tell you for a while but I’ve been so scared you might not accept it and I’d lose you as a friend.
Barty: Reg, you could literally kill my dad and I’d still be your friend.
Regulus: You’d kiss me if I killed your dad.
Barty, blushing: OH MY GOD, WHAT!! I WOULD NEVER KISS YOU!
Regulus: Okay, okay. I just meant that you hate your dad so you’d probably thank me.
Barty: Oh. Yeah. Haha.
Regulus: Anyway, maybe we should get some sleep. School starts again on soon and I need my eight hours of sleep if we have to deal with our dorm mates returning tomorrow.
Barty: Okay, fine.... it’s only 8:30 but...
Regulus: I need my morning walk too!
Barty: OKAY!
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I have a question for u guys…..
Can I go on a rant on what I’ve been through? Ik what your thinking “uuhhhhhhh she’s just gonna say lies” I’m not
And I’m dead ass serious
So I’m just gonna go on a rant of everything that has happen in my life
The reason why I’m doing this is bc my ex friend or “bestie (if I can even call her that)
Bullied
Been bullied since pre k I’ve never gotten a single comment from anyone saying that I’m worthy for living breathing the only thing I hear about me is just she’s fat ugly retated n word bitch whore fatass hippo ugly rat fat dog lice girl fat girl ugly girl
I’ve cried sulked and filled up notebooks from 1- 180 I would finish the diary from writing all of that because I’ve never felt worthy of anything everything at that time was shitty
Hit on
Being hit on is normal and I’m not lying when I say that they littarly act like Indian rizzlers no they ARE Indian rizzlers
Always try to touch me all the time period and when I tell them to stop touching me in that way but they never listen
Sexually abused
No I am not lying when I say this has been going on since I was 5-9 whenever I was nine I had enough of that shit and you know the worst part?
HES MY GODDAMN COUSIN on my moms side
Whenever I told her we never went to Mexico for years (2?) and he showed me p0rn hub
I didn’t know what it really meant or the porpoise of it so I let him do things to me but he never did the deed with me without a condom
Divorces
My parents had got “divorced” they went back with each other on the span of 2 months and then here I am not even sitting inside the house my real parents are bc I wanted to get adopted by someone else than them and now I live wit like 4 guys who own a small house but thankfully they aren’t pedofiles
Losing “friends”
Like I’ve said I’ve cried sulked about this once again
I stayed up thinking of how and why I could’ve been a better friend
I’ve had these “friends” talk about me behind my back and you know what I did?
Didn’t say or not be friends with them anymore
I never did I actually thought that the one person I have just lost today
I could trust
I have major trust issues
And she unfriended me three times now
Honestly if I had one wish (not tryna do Highschool Musical shit here drama shit )
My one wish is just to have someone to trust
In my whole life I’ve never had that
I thought it was her hope (her name)
But now I’ve lost hope in her (get it get it? No ok.)
I hope y’all understand and I hope I can finally found someone to trust
-Mei🖤
#sad but true#lost frienship#lost friends#abuse mention#tw bullying#tw abuse#sorry guys#sorry for being depressing#sorry for the rant#i'm sorry#sorry about that
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Workplace drama time~! It's long but I need to get it off my chest
So back in August I started talking to this guy who worked in a different department and we got into a bit of a "fling" if you want to call it that. He seemed like a nice guy who would respect that I'm not always the most talkative person and often need my space as I'm autistic. Things went pretty well for a few weeks until he put on his Facebook profile that we were dating (yes, I still sparingly use Facebook) and he urged me to do the same. To which I told him "There are a few things I don't want publicly displayed, my relationship status being one of them." He reluctantly dropped the subject.
We were supposed to meet up at a mall on August 29th but as luck should have it (whether good or bad I'll let you be the judge) I woke up with a fever than day and tested positive for covid. Turns out the guy thought I made up the covid diagnosis to blow him off until I missed three consecutive shifts. When he confronted me via text with the "Wait you actually have covid, I thought you were faking to get out of going out with me" and I told him: "Why the hell would I fabricate a covid diagnosis and risk losing almost a full-week's pay because I didn't want to meet up with you at the mall, seems a little excessive no?"
Things went okay for a few more weeks but I started seeing more and more, not quite red flags but yellow or orange flags. And things came to a head when I asked him if we could scale things back because things were moving too fast for me. I then got four days of radio silence where he unfollowed me on everything, Facebook, Twitter, Insta, YouTube. After four days he sends me a friend request on Facebook and when I asked him if he unfriended me he tried to "well I though YOU unfriended me" and I told him to "Cut the bullshit and tell the truth" and he changed his story to "Facebook likes to remove people from my friends list" So I told him: "Oh what about Twitter, Insta and YouTube then? Did those sites also just happen to decide to remove you from my followers too?" We never spoke again after that and I thought it would be the end of it.
Until I found out that he was telling everyone at work we "Went out for a date and I freaked out and called the whole thing off because he got too "handsy"" I heard this from *FIVE* people two of whom I had literally never spoken to prior and all five told me they had heard it from the guy himself. I confronted him, as I expected he denied it, and I went to the store manager saying he was spreading rumors about me and it was leading to people saying nasty things about me (which was a lie but two can play that game jerkass) and he was told in quite a harsh manner that "management was more inclined to side with me and the people I heard the rumor from over him, that it wasn't fair to me to start that rumor, not to discuss private matters at work especially if they involve another worker, and to knock it off." Oh and now the entire workforce has to do a "how to deal with and eliminate workplace harassment" training (myself included) because of it.
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Hi, can I request a tokyo revengers and jujutsu kaisen matchup?
Pronouns/Preferred gender: My pronouns are she/her and my preferred romantic gender is leaning towards male.
Mbti/Zodiacs: my mbti type is infp. Leo sun, cancer moon, aquarius rising.
Personality: I act more a loof shy in public but once im comfortable around you I’m sarcastic, dorky, and chill.
What I value in friendships/relationships: Definitely loyalty and humor. Feeling that you’re cared for is a huge key too.
My type: I’m attracted to confidence and taller guys with a pretty face. Also tall women 🙂 but ofc, if someone doesn’t have these qualities that doesn’t mean I won’t date them.
My hobbies: I enjoy drawing/coloring and playing genshin impact. I love spending time with my cats and friends. But I do better with one on one hanging out, not a group.
Other details: One person I cannot live without is my best friend. But the problem is that we’re not really in sync right now and it’s stressing me out. I’ve been crying every night for a week since we had that argument.
I think I’d like a head canon on the characters you choose for me, comforting me and take care of me (romanticly). I tend to lose a lot of friends so I’m scared of losing more.
Thank you! Have a good day/evening!
1000 Follower Event Matchup #15
This event is CLOSED. You can check out the masterlist here.
Note: Here ya go. Hope you enjoy and sorry it's so late
I match you with CHIFUYU and YUUJI
Runner-ups were Mitsuya and Yuuta
Chifuyu:
When I tell you Chifuyu would make the best partner for you, I’m dead serious
HE ALWAYS has you on his mind–whenever he walks into a store, he’ll ask himself what’s something you’d like, so he can buy it for you, which THEN gives him a reason to see you that day
You play Genshin? Well guess what, now he does too. He’s always asking you to invite him to your world so you can play together. Or since you’re probably a higher level than him, he’d invite you to his world so you can help him level up faster
He’s always looking for ways to make you laugh and just smile in general–it’s his job to make sure you’re happy
How does he comfort you?
Since you mentioned your fear of losing friends, I’ll use that as my reference…
He’ll reassure you that you’re amazing and unlike anyone else out there. If people can’t see that in you and decide to unfriend you or drift away from you, then that’s their issue, because you’re perfect
He reminds you that before becoming your boyfriend, he was your friend and will always be there for you, so you never have to worry about him disappearing on you
Gives you lots of cuddles and lets you decide what to do for the day, whether it be staying home all day playing Genshin, or going out to get some comfort food and go on a nice relaxing walk
Chifuyu holds your hand a little tighter, wanting you to know he’s right by your side if you need him
He has lots of romance mangas of male leads that have comforted their s/o’s so one of those techniques will definitely come in handy
Yuuji:
We love a good golden retriever boyfie (i heard he’s a little different in the manga now, but i haven’t read it…so let’s just focus on anime Yuuji)
He has the loyalty and humor down packed–he’s so funny without even trying, and thankfully not in an annoying way where it gets to be too much; he’s a nice healthy balance of funny, caring, and serious
Yuuji LOVES when you draw. He could spend hours just watching you draw or color something; he’s always stunned by how talented you are
Expect him to ask you to draw him whenever he finds the opportunity to–if you say no, he’ll be pouty for the rest of the day
Gamer Yuuji? Sounds about right. He’d play Genshin with you and then he’ll introduce you to some of his own fav games
How does he comfort you?
When he finds out you’re feeling bad about a current friendship or scared that you’ll lose all your friends, his initial reaction is to get your mind off such thoughts
He’d definitely hear you out if you needed him to, but if talking about it immediately will make you feel worse, then he wants to just keep you happy for as long as possible and talk it out when the thought of your issue isn’t as fresh in your mind
Then he’d be a true loyal boyfriend and get mad at your “friends” who are making you feel this way and reassures you that anyone who doesn’t want to be your friend is “stupid”
He’s make an extra effort to spend more time with you and do all your favorite things to keep your mind from wandering to worries that’ll make you sad
EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN
Posted: 5/25/2023
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