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taakosleftshoe · 9 months

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Nanofather Lore insanepost

Alright. We've seen my murderboard. It's incomprehensible. But for those who haven't, here it is:

It includes... a lot of everything. I couldn't begin to describe the journey I went on putting this together. Without further ado:

The Nanofather, also known as "The Weaver," "Creaky Man," and sometimes "Geltfrimpen" or briefly as "wily weaver," "dirty jeremy," "muck dweller," and "crusty man," is a recurring ominous character which appears most frequently in the opening segments of The Adventure Zone: Steeplechase. He says a lot of weird shit. And after 33 episodes, I believe I have a pretty good understanding of this shit. Take a walk with me, through this 8-part dive into what the Nanofather's deal is.

I will warn you, this is... insanely long. Turn back now.

1. The Foretelling [moments leading up to the weaver]

Back in episode 18 of Ethersea, Justin mentioned how he's the last of them who has yet to DM. Then, later in the episode, Griffin loses his train of thought and Justin prompts him with "Spin the... spin the yarn" and the riffing leads Clint to say, "weave," and Justin says, "step up to the loom... let the weaving begin at the loom."

In the next episode, as the intro song fades out, Justin interjects in a high falsetto song, singing "Weave another tapestry! McElroy Family and me," and the bit goes on for a minute or so. Later, in Ethersea 24, when trying to convince Griffin to reconsider what happened in the narrative, Justin asks him to "Check your loom, weaver!"

When Justin finally makes his Steeplechase debut, he initially struggles with starting the story. So, Griffin jumps in with,

Griffin: "Can I do what you usually do to me?" Justin: "Please." Griffin: "And be like [singing dramatically] 'The yarn-spinner takes the loom in his hands and weaves a magical tale. Take the wizard by his hands as he flies you around on his rug made of wings and a angel’s hair.'"

Every subsequent episode has the same opening. The recurrence of these instances have culminated in the persona of "The Weaver."

2. The Stew [in which the nanofather discusses various culinary topics]

The Nanofather routinely brings up the food of his world, in some way. This starts as early as episode 3, in which he says, "Perhaps a few more moments before the stew is prepared."

Other segments include advice about nano-nutmeg [12], clarifications about cilantro (called corriander in the UK)[29], and directing the addressee to search for pepperoni and green pepper in "the pyre" [19].

The other three instances of mentions of food directly address Shookles the cat. First, "Shoockles, your master calls. Where's the scum canteen? Fetch it from the shoof... my thirst is unslakable" [7]. Then, in the very next episode, says, "Please... the pollen broth. My throat became so dry... Fetch me the pollen broth, Shoockles" [8]. And most recently, he speaks rather dramatically, saying, "I believe I went… as far as I could… I don’t know if… it was far enough… I’m terrified to push it further… I believe this is the limit… Yes… no, that’s true… It’s true… The greater danger is hesitation, yes… I will add one more half-teaspoon of cumin, Shookles. Thank you, Shookles, I… should listen to your culinary acumen more" [22]. This is assumedly in reference to something he is cooking, perhaps the stew mentioned in episode 3. Perhaps all of these ingredients are being used in the stew.

Either way, these interactions tell us that the Nanofather has an interest in cooking, and that Shookles acts as an assistant to him.

3. Direct Interactions [in-character conversations]

There are several instances where the Nanofather speaks with our player characters, or appears within their world.

This first happens in episode 20, when the crew enters the lair of Geltfrimpen and hears a voice familiar to the players coming from the dragon. He says, "Excuse me for this, but I have to keep up appearances." He continues to speak with the boys throughout the scene as they fight the animatronic. He says, "I’m having trouble staying here," and within the scene, Justin describes that, "The sound seems to be coming from like... the entirety of Geltfrimpen. It’s emanating from him, not localized to any one point in the dragon’s body." Beef asks the Weaver if he could come out of the dragon, to which he responds, "Would that I could." When Montrose begins refering to him as Geltfrimpen, he says, "I am not Geltfrimpen. I am here. But I am not Geltfrimpen." Emerich asks for his name, which is met with "Would that I know," but because Beef had called him creaky man earlier, the voice says "Creaky Man will suffice for now, I suppose. A good amount of christening."

He goes on to explain his situation at their behest:

"I will do my best to tell you what I know. It takes quite a bit for me to be as here as I am. But I will try. Part of me is in Geltfrimpen. But I am many places throughout the world. Part of me is here. Part of me is imprisoned here, I think. And through this act, I am no longer... trapped here, this part of me. I’m able to be more concentrated, if that—if that is the correct word, else... elsewhere... I will not be here long, and then I will vacate Geltfrimpen for good. And I will be a little bit more myself, elsewhere."

The implications within this one paragraph are that he does not have much of a physical form, and is potentially some sort of spirit, but he can manifest part of himself at will in some places. Montrose asks if he has a home base, but he says, "I’m... scattered. More accurately, I think... shattered."

He follows with even more interesting information,

"I’ve seen you elsewhere, I was... in one of the vans, as you made the thrilling escape. I was there. I called out, but it was so loud. I have watched you from the porch of Ustaben. In the... the whittling I sat, a rocking chair... I couldn’t summon up enough voice to reach you, but I called out. I called out to anyone who would listen, honestly. But you three are the first who seem to... be looking hard enough to hear."

There have been two heists with van escapes. The first is in episode 3, when Gravel pulled up in a stolen truck/van (it is important to note that they use them interchangably). The four of them were the only ones in the vehicle. However, this escape was not very thrilling, so we are going to refer to the Gutter City heist.

Sticky Finger(s) Paul Pantry asks the three of them to steal a truck called the Clean, and notes that it is made of Hardlight. When the time comes, Emerich has attuned with the hardlight Short Doug and drives in one of the trucks with him [9].

The second thing the Nanofather mentions is an obvious reference to the Ustaben attraction, Whittle Around. In the setup episode, Whittle Around is established as having a porch where "grandpa" sits and whittles wood-- grandpa, of course, being a hardlight construct who was initially Eustace but has since been replaced [0].

The combiantion of these two implies that the Nanofather exists for moments within, or as, these constructs. His spirit seems to be able to travel between them-- to what extent this is under his control remains questionable. Perhaps he is living within the park itself, haunting it. This is given further support at the end of episode 27, when an arcade machine in the back of Poppy's Place crackles with static and we hear the Nanofather say, "act... quickly." Emerich however is unable to make further contact, and this is the last time he seems to interact with them. Montrose says that they "have a ghost in the machine"[28].

4. The World He Inhabits [what we know about the environment, the character, and allusions to mechanisms of communication]

In his first appearance, the Nanofather says to the audience (which may be moreso to the players/player characters? uncertain), "welcome travelers," establishing that we are not from the same place he is.

The world he lives in is fleshed out through each episode. Highlights include "quite a long day tending to the muck fields" [5], "I've missed the meeting with the rust council"[13], and the afformentioned scum canteen. He also says, in episode 6, "I have a new tale for you. Of a muck-dweller turned hero to his- to his people… I seem to have lost it in the last rust storm." This sets him in a sort of wasteland. He also says, or rather, sings, "I'm a neutron guy, you're my nega-girl, I'll sweep you through the ash waste as we make our way through the,"[10] before he cuts himself off.

It seems to be a world where things are rough-- he says, "to make it 37 years is quite a blessing"[13]. That implies his age is 37, or that he has survived 37 years in the conditions that he is in. Additionally, he says, "you will find it in the pyre"[19], a pyre being defined as "a combustible heap for burning a dead body as a funeral rite," implying that they either have to make their own fires or 'bury' their dead.

Notably, there seems to be a recurring theme surrounding weather and time.

"It's gotten so quiet, lately... in the nights... and in the mornings... and the cyber night, the time between the night and the mornings..."[14] "It seems the storms have come early this evening"[4] "The last rust storm"[6]

This implies that time is somewhat technologically controlled, and weather is on a cycle. The building of Steeplechase, or what we are to assume is, is like holographically augmented[31], and so are the inside skies of the park. It is plausible to say the environment wherever the Nanofather is could also be simulated.

5. Wall Breaks [speaking to the players]

These indicate communication from the nanofather directly to the players. They imply to us more about the world, but more importantly, the means of communication and lore surrounding it.

In episode 9, we open the episode hearing a different voice. They say, "Hello? …Hello, spirits?" and begin to knock. "Nanofather says the spirits can hear you through the wall. Spirits… are you there?" But they are interupted by a familiar voice-- "Kavecca!," the nanofather says. "Just another of his stories, I suppose," Kavecca amends. "Kavecca, away from that! You dabble with powers you do not understand!" This raises a lot of questions from the players, about who Kavecca is, why there is another person speaking to them, and what the fuck the 'nanofather' means. What interests me is the referral to their audience as "spirits"-- and what implications does that have? Are they between the world the players inhabit and Steeplechase? Are the players spirits? Also factoring in Blades in the Dark, which has ghosts in it, which have been altered into hardlight for Steeplechase-- maybe the hardlight kept some of that original intent. Maybe that's how the nanofather is able to inhabit hardlight.

In the following episode, we find the nanofather singing a song. What follows is pretty strange.

ohh… I’m a neutron guy… and you’re my nega-girl… I’ll sweep you through the ash waste as we make our way through the…. [click] …do you hear me, Travis? Travis: What? I’m sorry… I didn’t realize I’d left the horn on. Travis: Are you speaking, are you- talking to me? Fare thee well. [10]

First, in "I didn't realize I'd left the horn on," a horn is primarily UK slang for telephone. That could be interpretted here as a literal telephone or whatever line of communication they seem to share. Next-- he directly addresses Travis. This is the first conversation the players have with this character, and so far the only. But it isn't the only time he addresses them:

Clinton? Travis? Gribby? My three… my three favourite micro-nephews. Here to visit me. What a wonderful treat this is… Come. Let me see if I can’t find you a new tale… Griffin: Gribby! Gribby can only say his own name. Justin: Oh? Griffin: Yeah, that’s sort of his thing. Justin: Do you… how do you… I’m surprised you have insight into these three new characters… already. Travis: I’m trying harder and harder to just pretend like we are not on the call when he records that part. Griffin: It’s the only way to not be... ensorcelled by the tapestry he weaves. Clint: Not me. Not me. Did you say Clinton? Clinton… Travis: It sounded like Clinton. Clint: I wonder who that is. Justin: Clinton, Travis and Gribby are apparently, I’ve just found this out with you guys, is— did he say— Griffin: The micro nephews. [15]

This is interesting because Travis is the only one whose name is not altered, and he was specifically addressed before. What we also glean from this is that the nanofather views them as micronephews, so he has an alleged relation to them. Previously, he has called them children but it wasn't apparent until now that he was addressing them specifically.

In the intro with Kavecca, it is important to note that they are the first person to call the weaver "the nanofather." We know from his time as Geltfrimpen that the nanofather has no proper name. Nanofather is more likely to be a title, or rather, a signifier of Kavecca's relationship to him, such as being his child or grandchild. This would put Kavecca on the same family tree as Clinton, Travis, and Gribby, if they really are his "micronephews."

6. Descent Into Weirdness [tonally different moments and their implications]

Everything The Nanofather says is weird, but these are the moments that absolutely baffle me, or upon which he is commenting on the story somehow.

The first time he seems to comment on the events of Steeplechase is in Episode 16, in response to a plot twist at the end of the previous episode (in which the Barrister arrived to kick Emerich's ass but they got him stuck in a machine). He says, "Oh, that’s not right… [rustling paper] …Oh, but this doesn’t make any sense, it was… The story wasn’t like this …. Or… I-Is it changing?" He then follows this in the next episode by... just... breathe-whistling menacingly? Note that this episode takes place when they are travelling between layers, on the start of their Ephemera quest.

Episode 18 starts with, "Oh… Oh, they haven’t… even begun to fathom it… But you…. You swore, we both swore? You know they’re not ready!" I wonder who the "you"/"we" is in this. Is it us as the audience, the players, or perhaps Kavecca? Eighteen is the beginning of the time they spend in Ephemera, and at the beginning of the episode Krystal has an encounter with someone in the Gallspire. This adds on to the commentary in 16 and implies that there is something bigger at play...

Episode 20 presents us with a poem of sorts:

Ever faster, ever closer, ever never slowing down… Ever nearer, ever clearer, ever nipping at the gown... Ever spinning, ever grinning, ever hearing what they please. Ever growing, ever knowing, that they are the disease…

There is no direct indication of what this is talking about, but I think it's about Dentonic. They never slow down, they don't know when to stop dreaming! They will warp whatever they must to fit their narrative and they don't care what the casualties are.

When the Weaver makes his entrance into the world of Steeplechase, at the end of 20 and speaking through Geltfrimpen, these occurences get more frequent:

"Oh, I… I’m mostly… mostly… with them now… [chuckles] ah… ah… smaller than I… assumed…" [21] "Mostly… echoes… yet to be… I’m sorry, I know that doesn’t… answer your question…" [23] "Yes… yes, I was surprised too, Shookles. What? Oh… Oh, they didn’t hear…"[25]

25 ends with Gravel being arrested for Sticky Finger Paul Pantry's murder. 26 opens with, "…yes, but I’d assumed it was… consigned to legend! I never would’ve expected- i guess… my understanding is not… what I’d thought it was. Terrifying, in a way, but also… quite wonderful." I can't even begin to parse what he's talking about.

Then of course, there is 27: "No, no, not to the boat... Only one... one node per layer... I tried to maintain hopping... but it’s too taxing... too many...noises..." What fucking boat? And he tries to hop between layers- maybe the nodes are in the things he is inhabiting. Geltfrimpen, the arcade box, hard doug, eustace... The arcade machine and Geltfrimpen aren't made of hardlight, and these are the methods through which he has actually been able to speak (he could only see through hardlight)... maybe these are the "nodes?" I wonder what the noises refer to.

When things start looking down for the crew as they try to piece together what the fuck is happening, The Nanofather opens episode 28 with, "I’m not sure yet… I’m hopeful… Ah, Shookles… optimistic…or perhaps… perhaps optimism is just the last refuge of those… with nothing left to lose..." The Nanofather is referring to himself in this line, and the fact that he considers himself to have "nothing left to lose" implies that he has a strong connection to the events in Steeplechase, particularly to the crew-- which makes sense given their previous interactions. But what is at stake for him is unclear.

In episode 30 he says, "The thought had crossed my mind… But it can’t be long now…" I must say this is particularly ominous because I have no idea what the "thought" is or what he is waiting for. His salvation?

Finally, we have episode 31. His last appearance.

"It feels… like something… has frayed…"

In this episode, Kenchal Denton speaks to the crew a lot about cutting loose ends. And then he drops them out of a hovercraft into a desert that seems to be entirely disconnected from the electrical grid Steeplechase is on. And we don't hear from The Nanofather again.

7. Ties to Clint McElroy. [the ways in which this comes back to him.]

[post-discussion following the moment in episode 10 when the nanofather asks, "do you hear me Travis?"] Travis: Is that guy my real dad? Justin: You wish Griffin: Legally, you have to tell Travis, if the muckdweller is his real dad Justin: Not the muck dweller. The nanofather. Please- Travis: Oh, it's right there in the name! I should have seen it a mile away it's so obvious now!

Now, this may be a stretch. And it started out to me as a joke, but guys. The further I get the further I am convinced. The Nanofather is connected to, if not is, Clint McElroy the Planeswalking Janitor.

Evidence A: He calls them "children" when he goes to tell them stories. Counterpoint: Clint can't be his own son. Counter-counterpoint: Clint's full name, according to Griffin on an episode of Wonderful, is Clinton Emil McElroy Jr. Meaning, he has a father named Clint.

Evidence B: When the Nanofather refers to Travis, Clinton, and Gribby, Justin later describes them as "these new characters," in the same way he insists that Clint McElroy his father and Clint McElroy the Planeswalking Janitor are separate things [Spiritbreakers Live in San Jose].

Evidence C: The Nanofather hops between layers, in a similar way to how Clint hops between planes. And the Nanofather seems to be fractured, scattered, not his whole self. He is powerful but weak. He is able to speak to players, characters, and potentially the audience? It transcends the boundaries between the two worlds...

Evidence D: Justin is a big fan of the TAZiverse. He has shown this multiple times but the ones I remember most are of course, when he introduces "Taako from Television" in Ephemera (and other Balance things, implies it was a legend passed down, etc), and when Griffin introduced that he would be playing Indrid in Dust 2. Like of fuckin course he'd be excited to bring things together more in small ways.

Evidence E: There has been increased Clint McElroy the Planeswalking Janitor activity, the most since before Ethersea. In April, Justin played the character Clint McElroy the Planeswalking Janitor in a liveshow in San Jose (I was there hi!!!), which had initially been planned for November but was rescheduled. Both of these, though, fall under the time in which Steeplechase was active, so he was thinking about this character during that time. Additionally, the merch of the month for August is a sticker of Planeswalking Janitor Clint McElroy. And he was mentioned in Steeplechase Episode 26, when there was debate over whether something was said by Emerich or his player.

Travis: I think that was Dad. Justin: Oh. Well, I mean... yeah, I guess dad could be in it too, Trav. Is that what you’re saying? Travis: No, I’m just saying, I think Dad was making the observation— Clint: Oh my God! Is this an appearance by Clint McElroy, the planes-walking janitor? Griffin: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Clint: Okay— Travis: No, no, not yet. Justin: No, we can’t, we can’t. Travis: Don’t force it, don’t force it.

Evidence F: I didn't expect to find this one. Honestly I think it shows that I have gone too far as a person. But... guys this one drives me crazy. So. We meet Shoockles in Episode 4, when The Nanofather introduces him as "Cat bart... he's my cat. Bart Shoockles." And guys I was like haha that's funny there is no way this is related... But then I was on Clint's Instagram trying to figure out if maybe he had a cat, since I know Justin has one. And I came across a photo he took of a white dog, which I wasn't sure was his until I got confirmation from an old post on one of the boys' Instagrams. But... in the caption of the post with his dog, he calls him Homer. Clint McElroy has a dog named Homer. Let me just, direct you to the Simpsons family tree:

Finally, Evidence G: Justin would go really far for a bit. He likes to have fun and get silly with his family and he knows Clint would get a huge laugh out of this. And he would also do anything to get a good age joke on his dad.

8. Conclusion [how it all comes together]

The moment you've been waiting for. What does it all mean?

The Nanofather seems to play no real importance to the main plot in Steeplechase at this point, but he has huge potential to. More importantly, looking at the Nanofather gives us some insight into the state of the park and where the player characters find themselves. He works as both a narrative framing device and as a part of the story. He talks to the players, the characters, and the audience, truly bringing a special flavor to Steeplechase.

With everything we've seen and heard, there is sufficient evidence to say that the Nanofather lives within the walls of the park, travelling using its energy grid. He has only been able to manifest to the characters through the electronics and hardlight creations. When they arrived in Kidadelphia in episode 32, it was apparent they were not connected to the same electrical grid, and there was no hardlight. The fact that he was completely silent in both 32 and 33 supports this theory, because there would be no way for him to communicate with them. Either that or they were too late and he died.

He has found himself in a wasteland, with weather and times that are controlled electronically. He is scattered, does not have a name-- a shell of who he once was. If the Carmine Denton Nanofather theory were correct, this would be a beautiful picture: the guy who created a way for others to escape is trapped in the destruction that his creation wrought... Regardless, I am concerned for his wellbeing since it seemed like he was in a hurry.

The interactions between the Nanofather and the heist crew imply that there could be a larger plot with him, but I don't know how close that is to happening. The Nanofather is one complicated guy, and if they want to save him I... guess they'll have to never know when to stop dreaming.

Thank you for coming along with me on this long and gruesome ride. I started this way back after episode 30 aired, I think. It's been simmering for a month, my own personal stew of sorts... For those of you who have helped contribute to my madness, thank you, and to those who have watched in horror, I'm sorry. It's been a real one.

And now, to send you off, I present to you this excerpt from Episode 10:

Justin: Our friend and employee Jupiter is kind enough to help pull together recaps of this dumb stuff, but Jupiter, showing a lot of wisdom here, does not track the story of the nanofather […] Travis: I think they realize it's been so clear cut at this point that any child could keep track of all the nanofather/muckdweller lore.

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greatalastoraltruist · 3 months

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So we know Alastor and Lilith disappeared at the same time 7 years ago. And we know that Lucifer had a meeting with Heaven which began the exterminations. We don't know when that happened though. Either they're not mentioning when the exterminations started because they've always happened or because revealing when they started would give too much away and make it too easy to guess things. All Charlie knows is that Lucifer went to the meeting and she assumes he gave the go ahead for exterminations. But the exterminations haven't always happened. They only started after the angels, or specifically Sera I think considering no other angels knew about it, became afraid of the power and influence Lilith had over the demons.

My current theory is that that meeting was called between Sera, Adam, and Lucifer because Alastor and Lilith were planning on working together with him broadcasting her voice on his radio station to inspire the other demons to rise to war against the angels. I think Sera demanded that Lilith and Alastor be separated with Lilith making a deal with Adam to stay in heaven where she can't empower any other demons with her voice or even contact anyone in hell and that Sera demanded the exterminations happen as well in order to not only lessen the demons' power but also instill fear in them in an attempt to prevent future uprisings. I think Alastor was given the options of either be killed or sign a contract limiting his power and requiring him to stay away for a while so that their little idea of rebellion is forgotten amongst the masses. I especially think that because of Zestial's comment about folks thinking Alastor had fallen to holy arms. Maybe Sera is his contract holder. That or they tried to straight up kill him and he somehow escaped barely alive and it's taken this long for him to heal and regain enough power for him to feel comfortable revealing himself to society. But trying to kill him wouldn't explain the contact or his need to 'unclip his wings'.

#idk this is my current theory #i could end up being wrong but i feel like thats the direction all the foreshadowing is pointing towards #its way too much a coincidence for lilith and Alastor to have been gone the same amount of time esp with her in heaven after trying to #incite an uprising #considering Lilith has no wings it seems like the obv answer is Sera is his contract holder #and i see no reason for her to have ever met let alone make a contract with a demon outside of trying to stop a rebellion #one thing i don't understand tho is why didnt Sera and Adam just kill them? why are they still allowed to live? unless Lilith is somehow #unkillable but then still why didnt they just kill Alastor?#there has to be another factor im missing #ughhhhhhhhh who knows how many more years itll be before the next season #at least theyre already recording lines for it but its the animation thats gonna kill us #as much as i wish the next season was comin next year i doubt it and i def dont want any animators to be put through anymore crunch time #broadcasting across hell #alastor theory #hazbin hotel #lilith hazbin hotel #adam hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin hotel #sera hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #lilth theory #radio demon #hazbin theory

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chickenoptyrx · 1 year

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We'll call it a sequel to this thing from yesterday.

#yknow that thing lions do where they get all dramatic when the cubs bite or attack them?#idk but thats related #uncle raditz #lol i like angst in theory but goofy shits more fun #saiyan squad gohan

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neatokeanosocks · 1 year

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i have finally seen Every Single Godzilla movie ever made. ask me anything

#i watched godzilla vs kong 2021 today #my first thought is: why is the american trilogy so inconsistent with its hollow earth theory.#is it a bunch of huge deep caves? is it a big gap where the core should be?#is the earth a matryoshka doll and the gap between outer and inner earth is hollow earth #and for some reason BOTH sides of the gap have their own gravities #even tho you could keep the direction of gravity the same and jsut make the “floor” of hollow earth the surface of the inner matryoshka?#WHERES THE LIGHT COMING FROM ??#why can kaiju easily handle an 'entire planets gravity' when most state-of-the-art helicopters cant #you can chuck a bug out a window and it's fine. you can chuck an elephant out a window and it's dead. but a huge ape falling miles?#thats fiiiine #also why is kong an ape and godzilla a marine reptile but all kaiju have a 'lineage' that lets em sense each other and fight #they barely have the same niche why are they territorial #god i wish i was related to godzilla. and if kong is then i definitely am!#but idk. i didn't watch the kong movie. i only watch godzilla movies #shitpost

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eefaevie · 2 months

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✨ my official good omens s3 prediction post ✨

which accidentally I guess comes with a side-order of analysis and a soupçon of meta because I can’t shut up

The quote "The plans for Armageddon are going wrong. Only Crowley and Aziraphale working together can hope to put it right. And they aren’t talking." is intentionally misleading.

I think with Aziraphale gone, Crowley is going to become Grand Duke of Hell. He’s hurt, he’s tired, he’s got nothing to lose anymore. He’s also a bit of a dramatic petty bitch (affectionate), and after suffering what he considers the ultimate betrayal from Aziraphale, he wants to hit him where it would hurt equally by joining the “bad guys” fully. Crowley thinks of himself as unforgivable, and since (in his mind) Aziraphale refuses to “see” him for who he really is, he’s going to force him to by acting out like this (beside the fact that we know that this isn’t actually who Crowley is, but he’s injured and lashing out, even if it hurts himself, too.)

So, that quote. The plans for armageddon are going wrong. as in heaven can’t get it to start. And the only way they CAN get it to start is to get the Grand Duke of Hell and the Supreme Archangel to work together, which they are refusing to do. Think about all those meetings between Gabriel and Beelzebub — those definitely didn’t start off as dates, they were business meetings. And so Aziraphale and Crowley REFUSE to speak to each other (with MAXIMUM pettiness and passive aggressive comedy) because they’re both mad at each other for their mutual miscommunication, but also because they KNOW that if they do work together they’ll end up fucking it up somehow (and actually set the second coming back on track, which they obviously don’t want). The one thing that is a common thread through Good Omens is that Aziraphale and Crowley are actually kind of useless at their jobs, and they usually end up accomplishing the opposite of whatever it is they are supposed to do. Aziraphale is still in the grip of heaven, and can be manipulated — while Crowley is probably still terrified of Satan, and now that he’s kind of recklessly agreed to such a big promotion, that’s now his immediate superior.

(So really, if you’re useless at your job, and consistently do everything wrong, and you’re trying to stop a massive project — the best place to be would probably be in charge of that project, no?)

So anyways, cue Muriel being used for the most immature go-betweens (“Muriel, dear, please tell the Grand Duke that I won’t be able to make our dinner reservation this evening because he is a lying snake.” “Muriel, tell the Supreme Arseangel that I never made the reservation anyways and his holiestness was presumptuous to assume so.” etc etc)

I’m also betting that the Metatron orchestrated his offer to Aziraphale very intentionally, because he knows that they’re each other’s most precious thing, and he knew that raising Crowley would be the best possible offer to get Aziraphale to agree, but also, he knew that Crowley himself would never agree to it. Which left Aziraphale in a tricky position. He’s still too afraid of heaven to back out, and by separating him from Crowley, the Metatron thinks he has succeeded in both eliminating the biggest threat to the second coming (the earth’s only professional apocalypse-thwarters with extremely powerful joint miracles) and planted (what he believes to be) a huge pushover of an angel in the seat of power — essentially a puppet for the Metatron’s commands.

(I’m not even going to get into the alleged threat of the book of life at this point, but that’s it own big bag of worms)

Problem is, the Metatron severely underestimated how much these two are idiots, how far they’re willing to go for love (or how far they’ll go when they believe their love has been scorned), and again, I cannot stress this enough — how much they’re both idiots.

Crowley accepting the position of Grand Duke seems out of character, until you realize it absolutely is not. (The same thing goes for Aziraphale accepting the position of Supreme Archangel, btw.) With everything else happening, it’s going to be effectively Crowley’s only option — Aziraphale is gone, the second coming is coming, and there’s a convenient little vacancy at the top of Hell’s hierarchy. He’ll take it because he’s upset and hurt by Aziraphale, but he’ll also take it because he’s angry, and it’s the only way he can possibly have any impact on what happens next.

I’d go so far as to say that Crowley loves Earth primarily because he loves Aziraphale, and Aziraphale loves Earth. Crowley is always the one to suggest running away when the going gets tough, because his top priority is always Aziraphale’s safety. If the Earth ends up a casualty, well, boohoo, at least he’s got his Angel with him. Now, though, he’s got no Aziraphale — so what’s the point in sticking to Earth? Remember how he pretty much immediately gave up on stopping the apocalypse when he thought Aziraphale was dead? Yeah. (In fact, he probably realizes very quickly that if he wants any hope of having Aziraphale back and sharing their lives together — this time for real — he has to take drastic measures to make sure Earth and humanity survives. He’s an optimist, and he’s also selfish.)

So, surprise, Metatron! You just took these two will-they-won’t-they eternal virgins and made them business partners. Which is an issue.

Because remember, for one supreme archangel to fall in love with the grand duke of hell during dubious business meetings makes a good story. For it to happen twice makes it look like there is some kind of… institutional problem.

We’ve taken the “workplace” in “workplace comedy” and dialled it up to 12. Now it’s not two salarymen from rival companies just kinda begrudgingly doing what they’re told until they don’t, it’s two high-ranking executives from rival companies who’ve decided they’re in love with each other, they’re done with this shit, and they’re taking the whole industry down from the inside.

Never forget that Good Omens is, at its core, a comedy. I believe we will get the romantic south down ending, for sure, but the path to get there is going to be a farce. They’re not talking — perhaps only in the business sense — so who knows the hijinks and shenanigans and making out they’re going to make everyone around them put up with this season. Aziraphale orchestrated an entire Jane Austen ball for Crowley before they’d even touched mouths. They’re going to be insufferable and I’m praying for Muriel’s sanity.

Finally, the final element of my prediction: Jesus will be there, probably. Maybe even Adam, too! Maybe it’ll even be lost celestial baby pt. 2: electric boogaloo. (as you can see my priorities are mostly regarding what happens with Aziraphale and Crowley lmao)

(and also, you know that dinky little half miracle they pulled together for jimbo? They were a couple of nobodies then. Imagine a full-powered joint miracle between a Supreme Archangel and a Grand Duke?)

(…Imagine a full-powered joint miracle between two supreme archangels and two grand dukes? 👀 ok ok who knows but also I’m not convinced we’ve seen the last of beez and gabe)

ok bye ❤️

#good omens #good omens s3 predictions #is this meta? idk #supreme archangel aziraphale #grand duke crowley #and their abandoned child #(abaddon-ed? nvm thats a different theory)#muriel #anyways it’d be pretty funny if the bookshop and the bentley manifest their clowny passive aggression somehow as well #sorry this got away from me a bit #anyways that’s just a theory… a GAME theory #this has been in my drafts for weeks please don’t yell at me lmao

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 1 month

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been thinking about god and free will. their hand-in-hand existences. godswill like spacetime. distance as time. been reading about iterative bifurcation. things split in two over and over to fit pseudo-infinite distance into finite spaces. we have 48.000 miles of capillaries in our bodies. this takes up 3% of our body volume. tardis voice: so much bigger on the inside. the doctor was adam and the master was eve, but the master was the older (greater) so he was cain and the doctor was abel. who came first, god or time?

#this started out very focused and then lost it a little somewhere around splice #but thats whatever i had a fun couple of hours #i was writing and i had to look up prophecy for some reason and poof there went my afternoon fhgkjhgjh #couldve maybe tied the sagging second half together if i idk add smth abt chaos theory and how deterministic =/= predictable #been reading abt that too #anyway tis what it is im going back to writing #damn like. time of chaos. chaos theory #oh well #cant keep going forever

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daily-linkclick · 9 months

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seeing several pained, injured and even dead cheng xiaoshis in the xetroverthink music video really does make me think lu guang's original timeline was one where cheng xiaoshi died. or a scarier possibility, the timeline we're seeing is the only one lu guang discovers where cheng xiaoshi didn't die. maybe it's the only timeline where cheng xiaoshi gets his powers, and why lu guang knows so much about them.

#link click #link click spoilers #im just speculating i love speculating <33 #ill add in more in tags but its more crack theory idk #lu guang's rule never mentioned if they could change what happens in another timeline anyway. maybe if they did go #they would never be able to go back to the timeline they left #and thats why lu guang emphasizes to become detached from their clients #maybe he's afraid of losing the one cheng xiaoshi that didnt die #MAN. THIS IS ALL CRACK THEORY BUT IF ITS RIGHT ILL SOB #probably not LOL

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 4 months

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Not sure if this is where you want your asks to be sent or not, I'm new to your blog so sorry if this is the wrong place

There is another instruction for Wally that I haven't seen you talk about and I want to know your thoughts! Back in november, before the responses, the secret URLs (such as woxyve) had the word "delete" added to the end (ex: woxyvedelete) implying that they wanted Wally to delete the page. After this most recent update it changed again and now says nodelete meaning that Wally refused to do that task. Thoughts?

where else would asks be sent if not the Askbox! inbox! both!

i actually wasn't aware of this until a few days ago, when i saw a post pointing it out - i had never gone directly back to those pages. which serves me right! i'm gonna be double checking Everything from now on lmao

but my fucking GOD is it interesting. thus far Wally has been... fairly cooperative. he's had a moment here and there, such as closing the guest book and losing his patience a lil, but he does his best with the rest! especially with requests! so for him to straight up go "lmao nah" when asked to delete something...

characterization-wise, i think it's very telling. as of now, Wally has been commonly portrayed as a bit of a doormat - getting talked over, sitting off to the side, being a bit of a background character - in in-Home media. less so in his whrp/qa/You interactions, but he's still widely agreeable & willing. but him refusing to delete the urls gives major points to him Having A Spine. he's holding his ground. he knows what he's doing. he's not going to let the whrp shut him up. there's a Thought Process / Plan / Purpose being shown here, or at least hinted at. there's a sense of.... Control. of "this is the way we're doing things, this is what i'm saying and you're going to sit down and listen" it's just... such a shift from the Wally we see in his interactions with the neighbors. which again, lends credence to there being a time discrepancy, with whrp Wally being older and more "experienced" while past Wally is still figuring his shit [being alive] out <3

story-wise it adds some Delightful friction. like obviously there's already tension, what with the staff only page, "Let Me In", the mysterious black stuff, the guest book closing, and the whrp/qa being disturbed by it all. but Wally outright refusing to delete things is a Different sort of conflict. it's more... direct. which makes sense! his interactions with the whrp/qa are becoming more personal, too. but it lends to the feeling of a push-pull. as the whrp/qa investigates Wally and starts treating him like the person he is instead of a long-lost character, they're probably gonna clash (a lot) despite the apparent impulse to pursue Welcome Home. currently, Wally doesn't seem big on compromising. if he doesn't know what to do, it looks like he simply Won't or he'll do his own thing and be like "shrug". if he doesn't want to do something, it also looks like he simply Will Not.

of course, there's the strong possibility that the whrp Were Not Serious about it. the 'delete' command might have them testing the waters, poking the bear, etc. but then were they testing to see if Wally is there, or were they testing his level of compliance? both? a secret third option?

and if they Were serious about it... why? what is it about the marked urls that made the whrp go "get that outta here"? and why couldn't they delete it themselves? i mean, obviously they can't delete anything Wally adds, otherwise the extra stuff he's added probably wouldn't be there (unless the impulse / curiosity driving them is too strong to delete anything added). but there's still a why about it. what changed so fundamentally in the site's code - or laws of physics/reality - that made it impossible to alter Wally's additions?

it's just. i feel that there are a lot of implications in such a small interaction. it shows more than one would expect.

#I JUST. AGH #idk if i said any of this in a way that makes sense #how would/do the whrp/qa react to that? to him being like 'we are Not deleting this <3'#whether they were serious about it or not thats Gotta raise some feelings #were they scared? frustrated? shocked? vindicated?#MAN IM SO CURIOUS #wally said no! the whrp asked and He Said No!#i mean to be fair #from what we know about wally - both from shared trivia/thoughts and the main canon #he doesnt seem hesitant to say No in general #but still. with almost everything else asked of him he Tried. he made an effort. hm #homebogging #rambles from the bog #wh speculation #welcome home speculation #AND THEN - OH THIS IS A TANGENT!#about him flipping sally's portrait. HOW THE FUCK? its technically a 2-d image. there isn't a back #so did wally make a back - or did his Direct Interaction bend reality and make it so that there's one to show?#fucking Fascinating. i mean i already have a lot of thoughts on reality fuckery in this story but mmmmm man. implications.#or - oh or - are the character portraits The Characters. this is a crack theory but hm #the fact that there are tiny versions of some of the neighbors in their houses on the map. trapped inside. multiple franks.#you see what im getting at?#not to say that they're trapped in the site! but what if there's a direct Connection. the character and the art aren't explicitly separate #as implied with wally's 'every time you look into my eyes' / 'you draw mine'#if his art has a direct link to him - Is him in a sense - why wouldn't that be the case for the others #huh. i wonder if they'll ever sense it like he does. will they ever look back? will their pupils slowly start to look at the screen?#i mean the teeny eddie in the post office is looking straight out at us but yk. Inch Resting.

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