#but i still rly wanted to share some elements of it
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❥ my top ten redacted audio speakers !!
i’ve seen a bunch of people doing this so i wanted to join in! i love a bandwagon 😋
feisty werewolf; milo - i mean, come on. *gestures at my blog* look at me. milo very quickly took top spot, by the time i got to the panic attack audio i was like the rest of y’all can pack it up bc this guy’s got me hooked lmfao it was just so sweet to see a softer side of the guy who, at that point in the timeline, had mostly only been abrasive, cocky, and flirty. that accent also does everything for me. the exact moment i fell in love with him was when he said, “of course i’m not mad. i was worried - scared that you were hurt or something. but never mad.” 🫠💖
nervous air elemental; lasko - lasko… what can i say about lasko. he definitely awoke something in me lmao, initially i didn’t want to get into the elementals because meeting new people felt like a chore at the time but he immediately made me laugh and it was all downhill from there… i love that he’s kinda freaky and he makes me want to bite him in the non-canon audios, but even in prime universe he’s just so sweet and a really good friend. and his relationship with coworker makes me so proud of his development
arrogant incubus; gavin - i’ve said it before but gavin’s the reason i’m here! his hbs 2023 audio was my first audio of the channel, and to go back in time and watch his progression to that point was so heartwarming 🥺 him and freelancer are possibly the best pair in the universe, i just adore everything about them. gavin’s audios are actually the hardest ones for me to listen to because the love he has for freelancer is suffocating to witness in a really bittersweet way 😩
yandere cultist friend; blake - this one is um …. i never expected this HAHA when i first listened to the balance he really skeeved me out (as he should), but then mother mother released ‘explode!’ and for some unfathomable reason it got into my head as a blake song and i couldn’t dissociate it from him. on a second listen of the balance, i definitely appreciate his character more and the juxtaposition of him with elliott and sunshine vs bestie is so so interesting to me. i can’t even be mad at bestie because he’d have me wrapped around his finger too 🥲 rly nervous for his next story update
chaotic boyfriend; guy - BABYGIRL. humor is the biggest thing i look for in relationships both platonic and romantic and no one makes me laugh like guy does. he’s so my type and the way honey acts is literally how i am with guys i like, so guy audios are always so much fun to listen to 💖 and no BA hits quite like that pre-recorded one
i ended up talking more than i thought i would so the other half is under the cut!
it gets kind of messy in the second half because i think these could get shuffled around depending on my mood but for now these are my thoughts!
seer obscura; morgan - morgan is… captivating. i know he kinda only blew up after ‘time is a song’ but it’s with good reason; the atmosphere is so calming but also, like… there’s a longing to it, ykwim? the two of them being the only know seer obscuras naturally lends a hand to the tension between them. no one else understands their unique struggles - so when his new obscura acquaintance calls him up in the middle of the night asking for help and comfort, of course he isn’t going to say no. it’s such an intimate setting for their third audio together and you can feel the tension building the whole time up to “i want to know you.” it’s just a really good audio. very interested to see where his story goes
sarcastic inchoate demon; avior - THE SNARK. THE QUIET KINDNESS. THE MYSTERY. THE YEARNING. THE TRAGEDY. avior’s got it all. sovereign state had me on the edge of my seat the whole time and still does, honestly. his hbs rewind audio is one of my favorites; the effort and love he put into that little date to give starlight a reprieve from their shared hell… he is such a romantic 💖 there’s nothing quite like falling in love while stuck in an actual hell
unempowered boyfriend; geordi - he’s an interesting one for me bc my love of him is directly tied to cutie + cutie’s telepathy giving us a look into his head (i just melt over his whispered little i love yous and compliments). they have a fascinating and messy story that i live for even when it makes me sick lol i adore that they’re both flawed but that they’re taking steps to better themselves. it’s fun when couples in the redactedverse aren’t perfect but still try to be better out of love
mysterious stranger; hush - THE weird guy. within his first audio i went from being indifferent to charmed. i love a mystery and everything about him is mysterious, but he’s also so clueless sometimes that it’s like. so what if he tied doc to the bed in their first meeting, now he’s asking to hold their hand when he’s nervous. so what if his purpose is to free the sovereigns? he learned how to cook for doc. i can’t NOT love him
unknown yandere caller - i’m a ghostface fan, okay. and i’m a taurus. i like when people are obsessed with me 🤷🏼♀️ there’s just something so… like. listen. “you’ll start to expect me. you’ll start to crave me.” from the audio and “i know you’ll find them. and you’ll keep them. because they’re from me.” from his card? the arrogance. it’s bewitching. i need him back ASAP i don’t even care if he doesn’t get a real name, i just miss him. come back please 🙏🏻
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#yap yap yap girl be QUIET 😭#i’ve spent most of today on this post smfh#sweetheart.txt#misc
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i'm having such an emotional time lately so i'm gonna be candid for a minute (i'm ok dw just feeling a lot h hh)
though everything feels heavy atm, i can at least feel happy in recognition that when i look back - i certainly have come a long way.
i've always thought i didn't care what people thought of me or my interests (but i think truthfully, everyone does deep down - even if it's just a small bit)
my old blog was SO PRECISELY curated to a tea that i would rb things in a certain order. to keep an aesthetic. and i hated it. it felt like prison (and this place of all online spaces is meant to be free - at least free of judgement!) i deleted that blog a couple of years ago.
now i post whatever i want when the impulse hits me.
i felt like there were lots of aspects of my interests that defied each other too strongly. but human beings are complex. and we can like different things at once (and post about them!)
and i think this is a big problem with aesthetic culture (and don't get me started on core culture on tiktok) i've always loathed it. like you have to tick certain boxes in fashion and culture and lifestyle to be an acceptable being and true to a community.
i'm really grateful for artists like käärijä or more recently, chappell roan. not only for their music ofc, but where many find a relatability in kä for his body positivity, he rly helped me accept the side of myself that is sexual. i always felt like i've buried this part of myself and felt shame and embarrassment. i even feel awkward talking about this now and a bit silly, but idk if some people might be able to relate and if so, i'd be interested to see if anyone shares similar experiences?
i feel like it's ok and above all safe to express myself sexually. i think it comes with being a woman for me, just feeling watched and exploited all the time. which makes me in turn feel awkward to express my sexual needs or desires. or talk about anything sexual. but where käärijä is so free in talking about these things or performing in a way that includes sexual elements, i feel free and like yes. this is normal and human and ok. a lot of people feel this way.
and with chappell roan, her drag elements of her makeup and fashion really inspire me and almost mimic harajuku elements to me. i love the over the top rhinestoning. i definitely feel more confident experimenting in makeup and wearing things i want to wear or have been scared to pair together.
idk i guess it comes with growing up and i'm still very young. but i guess it feels like for me, its taken me a while to get to this point. i know in reality my peers probably have their own battles but ig i don't see them and maybe deep down i almost feel like the odd one out and just idk... awkward?
idk it just feels better to write this now. when you realise things that have maybe been bothering you in the background of your mind and then it suddenly clicks into place.
#if you read this all have a cookie#🍪#being vulnerable isn't my fav but i think it is important sometimes#let's see if i delete this el oh el#personal
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Kj is rapidly speeding towards Big comfort character omg. I absolutely Love physical affection it’s my main love language!! Would totally lean back to back against them on a beanbag chair or something and do our own stim stuff and would be happy :3 I socialize like a cat lol. We in the same room doing our own thing? Yeah that’s us hanging out now
-🐉✨
I'm glad you like KJ!
I enjoy ur enthusiasm towards KJ, because it's pretty similar in vibes to how KJ is towards potential new friends. good intentions, excitement and good vibes!
Saying that, I have a feeling that is small and hard to pinpoint exactly, but important to address - I'd be a bit mindful about how familiar you get with KJ!
As much as I wish I had the same energy and comfortability KJ has with being affectionate and touchy and had desire to jump at any opportunity to make new friends, and would be 100% down to talk about hypothetical scenarios like you're describing because I can recognize that IS fun and there's the element of pointing at each other like!!! same hat 🤝with austism - I'm not like KJ in that regard, and you are still a stranger to me (very lovely tho I rly appreciate your interest in my stuff don't get me wrong)
I'd exercise caution when it comes to relating to a stranger's characters because while I'm happy when my characters can be relatable to others with things that aren't represented much - KJ and all my other characters aren't from some big media thing a significant amount of people are invested in and they aren't really malleable to be interpreted and projected on by others.
I'm simply a small artist on the internet sharing my characters that are extremely personal and important to me!
When people talk about comfort characters, it's usually from established media where there's also a lot of room to fill in gaps to shape the character into something personally comforting, and a whole team of people put that together, so there's not the same connection between those characters and the creators compared to someone like me.
I'm just one guy online with deeply complicated characters I project on, and nobody else but myself will ever be able to understand these characters as deeply as I do.
you can perceive my characters as I show em and ask about things you wonder about! I'm happy to talk about them whether that is to explain something further or address something I might've hinted that :]
however I don't feel too comfortable if people grab em and get a bit too familiar with own interpretations, especially if I don't know them.
I hope none of this feels discouraging from interactinging with me some more!! I just wanted to be clear about boundaries when it comes to my characters for the future.
And like, don't feel like you have to apologize for being excited about KJ because there's nothing wrong with that, I just ask you to keep in mind what I mentioned to approach that excitement for KJ in a different way I'd be comfortable with :] 💖
#ask#🐉✨#slides a cutout cardboard heart with glitter on it across the table along with this response#like the sparkling heart emoji but physical and with too much glitter it gets everywhere
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5, 16, 27, 38, 49 <3
hi sweet ev! thanks for asking 💖
answering asks from this fic writer's meme!
5. how long have you been writing?
i would say i've been writing since i was a kid ! i've always loved poems and prose and i made up two whole fantasy verses and started writing them and character designing when i was like, 10. so longer fiction has always appealed to me. i was the annoying kid that always wanted an essay in school instead of multiple choice, haha.
but yeah, for fandom: i started writing naruto fic when i was in my early teens too, that never saw the light of day. then i was in og spn fandom for a bit and marvel and a:tla and fma and then one direction and then all the way back to naruto and marvel to publish a shit ton of words. life's a circle is the answer!
16. easiest verse to write
mm interesting question!
i feel like i go through phases. for me at this moment, 1872 is real easy to slide into, but in general, we were meant as a verse is very easy to write (and does still have two sequels on my drive awaiting my attention span long enough to finish) and respiraro, si te videro, which uh, i guess its a secret but i have...already started writing...more for...dkjnbkd
27. best review you ever got
oooh difficult! i won't say reviews are best or worst type things, so here are two (relatively) recent ones that i hold p dear:
on rstv:
I'm losing my mind, this is so good. The way you wove the requested elements in, and gave them narrative purpose and emotional weight and coherence within the universe as written. The way you didn't handwave stuff away, physical or emotional, and let revelations and character development be messy and imperfect for both of them.
which felt rly good bc rstv is actually a much heavier plot than i usually do and it is such a complex one to boot, that i was worried about conveying everything well. really affirmed that i am capable of doing this level of intricacy in plot crafting, to me!
and someone in my dune discord server shared with me what they said to a friend of theirs abt my writing in general:
do you ever read something in a style you could probably never write in and just feel this feeling that's like half awe and half burning jealousy? like I this isn't even how I write, but I wish I could write like this, because I like it so much
which felt very uplifting and delightful, coming from a person who is as technically skilled and well read as they are. i've had some worries about how purple my prose is and how meandering my plots are and when i hear things that say my style in particular is enjoyable, it really makes me arthur_clench_fist.gif feel a lot!
38. do you reread your own stories?
oh absolutely, lol. i love what i write, it's catered to my niche interests. i have rstv open on my phone right now for pre-bed reading. and i do reread fics a lot in totality when i'm working on writing them, so i keep everything tidy and structured proper in my head, so i've been reading stop bath and devils in the canyon a lot lately.
will also say - i do read some of my own fics more than others. the ones i've written in massive marathon sprints of 10k a day (rstv, aws, wwm verse, wwwg, etc.) are in some ways more fun to read than ones i spent a long time writing, because they still feel a little mmmm shiny and i haven't worried so much about one line or another that it gives me stress to recall.
49. writing advice
identify what it is that you actually love about writing, and cultivate a relationship with the craft through that. hold onto the good feeling it inspires within you. don't worry so much about process or plot structure. take risks. take inspiration and organize it so you can actually look through it when you need inspiration. read people's work who write what you wanna write and how you wanna write and publish where you wanna write. find your community and be vocal in it; ask about your insecurities if you decide that improving on the craft is what you wanna do.
writing is a bit like carefully preparing meticulous slices of your heart for people to slurp down in a second. learn to meter out how much labor and expectation you want to extend to that cooking. don't take it to heart when people leave without a word to the chef. they still ate it.
find your community and be vocal in it!! nothing replaces a comforting voice in the middle of a vortex of self doubt, calling out to you to go the fuck to sleep because none of the demons roaming your work page at 4AM care about your delicate feelings.
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*Holds a mic very close to ur face* can u tell me more about ur ice skating experience cuz i really enjoy reading about it in ur fic and i wanna know if there are any things that are cool or interesting but dont rly fit in the fic format (or would be more fitting in a, just a random example, very anticipated prequel)
Wohooo, I actually only did ice skating for two short years, which is a giant shame, bc I loved it to bits. BUT, I've been doing artistic roller skating for 18 years, which is similar to ice skating but on roller skates! I skated seriously mostly on a national level for 12 years, before quitting bc of college, but I still do it regularly as a hobby. At the moment I'm part of a synchronized skating team and we're going to our first competition soon which I am very excited about!
So most of the skating terms and choreo ideas that are in the fic come from artistic roller skating, but that's fine bc they're the same haha. And for the rest I use google and my limited experience as a figure skater. Anyway, you asked about cool facts, so lemme write some down!
Satoru Gojo and Yuzuru Hanyu (the absolute GOAT of figure skating) share the same birthday at 7th December!
I had a lot of trouble with figuring out the time period where the story takes place, so I settled for a little bit in the future. The years written above the past arcs, as well as the locations, are the actual seasons and locations the named competitions have taken place in, but I fucked with the specific dates bc I had to fit them around the characters' birthdays :>
The minimum age for skaters competing in seniors is 15 (but only if you turned 15 before July 1st) which means that Satoru and Suguru both became eligible for seniors in the same season. (Though right now the ISU is discussing raising the minimum age to 17 but for the sake of the story, I will keep it at 15)
The competition where Suguru beat Satoru were the World Championships of 2014 in Nice, France when they were both 16 years old (this is ridiculously young for men's figure skating bc most seem to peak at a later age but they're both special grades lmao so it's a bit handwavey :>). Suguru dropped out a year later at 17
In this story stsg are the only two skaters who have consistently landed a quadruple axel (equaling 4,5 airborn turns o.o) in competition. After Suguru quit Satoru remained the only one able to do it for the next ten years.
(The element difficulties in this fic are slightly exaggerated compared to real-life figure skating, but only slightly :>)
Suguru's signature jump was a quad Lutz + quad Toeloop combo bc my opening jumps always were double Lutz + double Toeloop and I needed to project xD
you differentiate between edge and toe jumps depending on whether you use the edge of the blade or the toe pick. Edge jumps are the Axel, Loop and Salchow, while Lutz, Flip and Toeloop are all toe jumps. Satoru likes Axels, Salchows and Toeloops bc they put less strain on his injured ankle, but for the sake of maximizing difficulty, he usually did the other jumps anyway. Suguru's favorite jump is the Lutz.
I wanted Maki and Yuuta to be in pair skating at first, but decided to put them in singles in the end bc it fit their characters more
Yuuji, Megumi and Nobara are ice hockey players and their team captains are Todo and Yuki
I have not decided what Toge and Panda are doing ^^'
Ice dance is considered the "nerd" sport on ice bc it's (for most people) not as interesting or high-stakes as pair skating or singles, but the ones who did it know that it's actually more exhausting than the more "jumpy" categories and very very hard bc of the level of perfection needed in every movement. Dance is also a part of artistic roller skating that I'd like to explore more in my personal life.
And lastly: Figure skating and ice dance use different boots and blades. The ice dancing boots have shorter shafts and the blades are also shorter. This is for increased agility for quick turns and stuff. I have not yet decided if I want to make stsg buy and break in new skates though, so this detail might be ignored.
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How do you personally think Endless would play out after the ending, with all of the dolls living together in the same universe? I really do wonder how it would be, but I can only find a limited number of people putting their thoughts out there!
I think, by Endless, you mean the end of Nameless hehe
But to answer honestly, 🤔ᴴᴹ
I don't know 😂
Yea tbh I've never rly thought about it - but for you, Anon, I will think about it!! ^^
I'll start by saying that oh god this isn't functional or easy or perfect in the slightest
Second of all though, I do think it can and will (eventually) work.
Every single one of them in that house loves Eri and Eri loves every single one of them. Canonically! The dolls all team up to find her!
I believe the answer to this situation is polyamory. You're probably thinking "there's no way those guys would be willing to share her"
But to that I say, there's no way those guys would be willing to share her at first.
I think at the beginning they might urge her to choose just one of them to love and be with. And at the start, she'd understand, and she would try. She'd try her darndest. And they'd try their darndest too to convince her to choose them
But I think at the end of it all, after everything they do to convince her, she would inevitably decide not to decide. She loves all of them. She just does. And her love for one does not lessen the love for any other. Love is not finite. It can be shared, multiplied. And she could never choose just one.
They're all hoping she chooses them, and have kind of been fighting between themselves about it, but don't rly know how to feel at her decision. In the end tho, I'd say they all come to terms with it, since really, no one loses
But there is perhaps a more pressing issue. Something that's at an even higher risk of being lost
The house
It's already small enough just with the 6 of them, but now Nameless has moved in too? The living situation is sure to be the cause of many fights and breakdowns
Do some of them move out? If so, who? Where? How do they decide?
They spend a while trying to problem solve, sleeping on couches and on floors and doubled up, or somewhere else entirely. But that's just so impractical..
Eri decides she can no longer stand to see her beloved dolls fighting over who gets to stay and who has to move out. If one doll is having to move out, everyone is.
They have to sell the house....
None of it is easy. It's draining, exhausting and they almost change their mind so many times. The house full of memories of Eri, Nameless, her grandpa, her parents. Both her childhood and her life with the dolls. All of it, having to go.
And it's sad. It is so sad. How inanimate objects can carry so much meaning.
But Eri realises that the love and safety that her house gave her won't disappear, just because the objects that filled it are no longer there, just because she won't be living there anymore. Although her diaries held her memories, they would still be with her, whether they were ruined or not, whether she even remembered or not. The memories still mean the world, even if they were lost to time
She realises that you have to let go of the past in favour of the present. Sometimes, that is just what love demands of you. What life demands of you. To continue and make the choice to love, you have to move on.
And they all move in to a much bigger house that can provide much better for them
I think that's sweet..
As for the dolls, as they watch each other trying to prove themselves to Eri, as they compete, they actually realise they like each other more than they knew.
Lance and Red be like 😳😳😳 maybe gettin to like each other more than necessary yknow? Maybe they don't mind sharing a room so much anymore yknow?
I'm ngl. Yeonho's route kind of reads like they wanted to write his story but forgot the romance element til the very end. And I don't rly see him n Eri as particularly romantic. So. I think that he yea would still be jealous at first ofc but not in a romantic context
And imo. I believe that Tei and Yuri only grew to dislike each other because Yuri found out about Tei's danger towards Eri. So once Tei becomes less dangerous, they might become more friendly?
As for Nameless, I also kinda view him similarly to Yeonho, I don't see him n Eri in such a romantic context either 🤔ᴴᴹ I see him as such a cuddly bear.. He's just a guy who rly loves cuddles, that's my opinion
Idk what else to add. I guess I had more to say than I thought I did??? Quite profound as well.
Actually. I'd say you could make an entire sequel out of this concept. What if we did the whole thing again, where every route is each doll's love letter to Eri, then that gives us multiple endings. But if you do every route, then you can pick all of them and continue on the journey?
After I post this, I'm gonna reblog a post of mine that I made previously on this subject cuz my ideas then were pretty cool too
But yea, I didn't know I'd think about this so hard 😂 now I wanna rly make that into a fic or something??? Something has to happen about it
Thank you for asking me this, Anon!!! It's incredibly appreciated, I feel like on the Cheritz tag I'm living in dog years or something, cuz it always feels like it's been weeks since the last update when it's only been a couple days - so I rly appreciate this!!!! ^^ (*ˊᗜˋ*)ღԵհɑղƘՏღ
#my post#cheritz#nameless#nameless the one thing you must recall#nameless cheritz#cheritz nameless#ntotymr#(*ˊᗜˋ*)ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ so much again Anon!!! 😁😁😁 idk who you are
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If it will bring anyone comfort I do think vol 3 is good but not flawless and most of the talks that it is flawlwss will probably die down in time. The mcu projects since IW have been mixed to not good. Vol 3 has been highly anticipated and long awaited. It's definitely better in many ways than other films since IW. I think this leads to some amount of overinflated hype. I want to share that because I know some people have been upset and rightly so and it can't be easy to feel like everyone is adoring something that might feel personally hurtful. I also know it doesn't help that some of the people who are pointing out the film has flaws point to Gamora's plot as the issue but don't get into the details of why that is and whose at fault making it seem her character was just bad and that it's on the character being included rather than how the people in power made not so good decisions. That has to feel lonely for anyone who maybe doesn't have friends or family in real life who care or who they can talk to. But they should know they aren't alone or wrong or crazy for feeling hurt or disappointed.
i've personally rly enjoyed some post-eg projects, like shang-chi, ms. marvel, and even the hawkeye show (mostly for kate, yelena, and the nat-related scenes haha)! i am also potentially the one person who enjoyed what if...? bc i like seeing my guys in situations LMAOOO. i would also tentatively add wakanda forever to this list tho i feel like i need to rewatch it to have a more developed opinion. phase 4 was a lot more entertaining to me to half of phases 1-3 tbh LMAO
that said, i also think vol 3 is generally one of the better projects of the post-eg era, but that doesn't make it flawless. i think there are honestly very few mcu films that could be widely highly regarded in such a way that they're seemingly immune to criticism (i think the only mcu film i would even consider putting on a level like that is black panther - there's a reason that's the only mcu film to have ever been nominated for best picture at the oscars), and i wouldn't put vol 3 in that group for both gamora and non-gamora-related issues (rocket being a passive protagonist, the lack of build-up to characters' arcs concluding in them wanting to leave/retire from the gotg, etc.). even just looking within the gotg franchise, if asked to rank the 3 films in terms of quality, i'd honestly rank them in the order they released in (tho vol 1 and vol 2 are cloooose competition). but i do think vol 3 has also had a unique relationship with the hype its received in the lead-up to its release and afterward, given just how long we had to wait between the james gunn delays and covid delays - we were originally supposed to get it 3 whole years ago, in 2020!!
but yeah, no matter how good vol 3 is, there should still be room for ppl to not love it and discuss why, especially if the issues at hand transcend film elements and are more to do with like, representation of woc and stuff bc...that's a whole separate kind of issue
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Gosh i dont rly appreciate when ppl make jokes using charas from some series but make them insanely ooc for the sake of the joke?
Like sometimes, it’s okay but i see it constantly for a lot of stuff and i’m here like “bro are we looking at the same character??”
Its hard to explain what i mean since it’s kind of broad and i dont want to give super detailed examples here for a reason, but like…
I think its like. If it’s funny, it’s okay? But sometimes, you sort of know when they take a joke super seriously that the charas are now insanely out of character? Like. I get it if you want it to just stay as humor but in a way its also like “but u’re taking this so seriously that idk if i should treat as a joke/not seriously or if i should treat it seriously and say that it doesnt make sense”.
This particular example i mentioned is from a specific experience i had with (name). Like. It was to the point where pointing out that the charas aren’t like that made them sorta give off the vibe of “idc cause its funny to me and i make the rules of my canon. Why so srs lol”. Like thank god they understood what they had in their head is fanon but still its so jarring to me that i didn’t take what they were doing seriously at all. Its funny and nothing made sense but man y’all are really butchering these characters here.
It was something that particularly bothered me since there were a few instances where it went towards being mildly disrespectful of stuff just for the sake of going “haha funny” which HAS irked me on a few occasions.
I have more to say about it where like? They were suggesting a joke about smth i had with a self insert-ish oc and my fave, but it was kind of… poorly explained and i didnt rly liked that? It was a little funny the first time but they kept recycling the joke cause its “comedy” and i actually had an intricate canon that has comedic elements but is otherwise not a product to be solely a comedy or a rom-com even. Like… it’s a funny joke but i also didn’t rly understand why they made the joke like that? So its badly timed. But i didnt rly know how to tell them i didnt really get it and if i can get some clarification at the time so i kinda ended up sounding dry about it after a while. Cause i didnt want to tell them directly to stop since we’re all just chatting and sharing ideas here, but like. It made me uncomfy cause i felt like i’m forced to find it funny or otherwise i’m no fun and boring to talk to. In hindsight, i really should’ve asked honestly?
Like im not rly their friend or talking to them anymore cause it was that former art friend i vented about a while back and they had more going on for them.
But i will say this though, i’m glad i’m not their friend now. Less about their ideas and what they talked about but how they treated me as a person and the way they acted after they cut me off and i did the same?? Like they got insanely paranoid and shit. It was to the point where i am pretty sure someone else talked about it like “i see someone make a whole post about pruning mutuals if ppl dont respond but end up not doing anything about it and im still their mutual anyways” and like… while i get it, it kinda gave me some horrid red flags and also???
Just to talk about this person for a little bit longer before i get back on topic: i unblocked them after almost half a year cause i wasn’t mad at them anymore and they… blocked me back AFTER i unblocked them cause i was looking through some muted accs and shit on twitter to see if i should unmute them or smth and i was like “Bro what???? Gurl why???” Like… how DID u know i unblocked u like huh???? I just blocked them again cause idrc about them but that was sure weird lol
I kinda want to gripe about that more since. Man… that’s kinda unsettling. LIKE i’m flattered that i’m always on their mind, but it was kinda unnerving in some ways cause like it just meant they were potentially stalking me or smth. I wasn’t even chatting with a lot of ppl on twit enough for my tweets to pop up in the algo but who knows??? I just assumed the bitch got me blocked or muted or smth so i am out of sight, out of mind. But that also ended setting off more flags than it should. And when i went to reblock them, they apparently had some read byf thing on their profile which they never had before i blocked them so like honestly, they prolly did it cause they thought i was actually a toxic amurrican out to make a call out post on them or smth. I wouldnt be surprised if they had a dni thing where i’m on the list like namedropped or an oddly specific vague. Like… idk i felt like all their small passive/silent actions and gestures towards me over the past couple years was well…. Reminding me a lot of my exfriend too? Like in a different flavor. I hope they grow out of it cause i dont think they’re a bad person, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Now back to the topic— yeah sometimes making some ppl too ooc for the sake of telling a joke rubs off on me wrong? Like how some ppl just take a joke and make it canon now cause it’s funny when it desecrates all the charas stand for 😭
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yuka
#lg doodles#blue period#yuka#so this was supposed 2 look super diff but i like . long story short ended up w a finished piece tht i was never gna post#but i still rly wanted to share some elements of it#so i jsut threw so many colors on2 it and like . cut copy paste random scribbled my way in2 i guess this is a thing#like it wasnt planned 2 look like this but the process was a lot of fun#and i rly enjoy using like . unbearable colors#the version b4 this one (but after the first) had the ugliesttt color palette but it was kinda like . idk . maybe we shld#post more ugly things 4 the sake of it HAKSHS#but thn i was like ok ok. i rly like the whole idea of like . blhe period palette fr and his own watercolor of shibuya#and i like the sort of indigo black bg so tht was fun#best part was texturing it like a card tho hehe . aas tbjnking abt him practicing w new tools n im like okkaaayyy…gna do that#n the bg kind of reminds me of a swirl n also kind of ocean - y or water - y#n lnowing they have a scene at the beach im like uess yesss
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I just read your post about Percy’s claiming and it made me want to know your thoughts on Percy’s fight with Hyperion. Like, he not only summoned a hurricane and kicked Hyperion’s ass, but he summoned the hurricane on accident.
anon thank you for reminding me of this moment because yes, i have things to say lmao.
what’s so interesting to me is how percy reacts to his powers in that scene. as i've said in my earlier post, percy seems to easily get the hang of his abilities. but even in the first book, he doesn’t question why he could control the toilet water or rly anything. he just went with it and didn’t hesitate. which, to be fair, isn’t unexpected at all. because come on, who doesn’t want to have hydrokinesis and use it to their advantage?
my point is that i feel like percy has always had this instinct, that the sea is within him. why else would it be so easy to have that much control without proper training? that’s why percy just kinda shrugged when grover was like, “hey you’re making a hurricane. how the fuck are you doing that?”
because again, it feels so natural to him. and i mean it when i say that he has the sea inside of him, because a hurricane can only be created in the ocean. not me double checking how a hurricane is created. but basically, percy would not only have to have manipulated another state of water, which is gas, but he also played around with temperatures of the lake, or whatever body of water him and hyperion were in. i'm too lazy to check sorry. for a hurricane to form, it has to come from warm, tropical waters and then mix with cool air, so like...what i'm going with this is that he’s kind of like, a personal ocean. he can just spring out whatever fucking ability the sea has to offer just. like. that.
again, he has his father’s nature. he canonically has anger issues but is also a sweet boy—until you mess with him, that is. he is unpredictable to most, but if you really study him, you’ll know exactly what he’s going to do, and others say that he smells like salty air. the water restores him, it can heal him and protect him. in tlo, he channeled the sea when he was on the princess andromeda while fighting kronos to be able to unfreeze himself.
it’s no wonder he doesn’t want to be controlled. it’s no wonder every time he witnesses something new about himself, he just wants more, like when he was cleaning the stables. (i've already mentioned this in my first post but) he just wants more freedom, more destruction. and he doesn’t mean for it to be that way, but it’s in his nature. that’s why i think that his name is so fitting. destroyer. like damn.
idk, but it seems to me that there’s more that’s going on than just: “he has ocean powers because of his dad” kinda take. like okay, yes...he does possess them because of poseidon, but it just feels like he literally shares a connection to the ocean. his essence, if you discount his mortality, is the ocean.
so it’s honestly no surprise that hyperion didn’t stand a chance against him. hyperion is the titan of “heavenly light,” and like i said, percy represents the ocean. if he could create a hurricane, he is immediately blocking out the titan’s source of power. the ocean is destructive, the ocean has been feared since the beginning of time, though it has also been heavily admired. it destroys cities, has sunk millions of ships, has created the most powerful storms. and still people get mislead, underestimating it, time and time again. the ocean has more power than we could ever comprehend—again, no surprise there as to why percy has been considered one of the most, if not the most powerful demigod, if he himself is linked to the sea. and we know that water lets him manipulate it, even if poseidon himself has mentioned that the sea doesn’t like to be restrained. but if percy’s technically the sea itself, then...making anything that’s liquid do his bidding is generally a piece of cake for him. at least for some period of time.
apart from some exceptions with other immortals, his most epic fights were with hyperion and ares, and it’s good to note that he defeated them both in his element. but he’s also learned to summon the sea in the middle of texas, so...it just makes me batshit crazy how he doesn’t get it. at all. he just goes with the flow, ignorant to how much potential he has. how much raw, primitive power he’s got inside of him, ready to be unleashed. i just know that he could easily defeat other deities now, seeing that his abilities have grown drastically during pjo and hoo. if he can summon hurricanes and control temperatures, if he can make a bridge split in half, if he can bloodbend, control poisons, blow up a volcano...dude DUDE. imagine him willing the ocean to part for him like moses I—
#anyway this is making me want to write some dark!percy#thanks anon now I made another essay#dark!percy#powerful percy jackson#percy jackson#anon#pjo#mari's ted talks#ask tag🤠
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hello, ily metas! thank you for taking the time for them. i hope you dont mind an ask with two follow up questions to your metas i'm curious about: 1) has mxtx rly been sentenced? i have seen others also share this news but other fans have quickly dismissed and gotten pissed at these reports for being fake news that are bad for mxtx, and as fearmongering. 2) for those who want to support yizhan but not the ccp, do you have advice how to navigate fan support and interaction with their media?
Hello! I apologise for the late reply! You’ve brought up some interesting points, so please forgive me for responding with an essay.
First, about MXTX — This is a follow-up to this post.
Unfortunately, this is all we got—all everyone has got about MXTX’s current situation: on 2020/11/10, she was sentenced in Hangzhou Shang Cheng District’s People’s Court (杭州市上城區人民法院). No details were given on her verdict, due to “人民法院認為不宜在互聯網公布的其它情形” (“The People’s Court decided it inappropriate to announce further details on the internet”). Here’s a link with the screenshot that showed all the information released about the case that day.
There are enough copies of similar screenshots to this one online, with the differences dependent on where the publisher pulled the information from the same website: 中國裁判文書網, an online archive of verdicts run by China Supreme People’s Court. There’re few reasons, therefore, to believe the information on the screenshot was fake. The link I used was Sina’s Financial News, which I believe is trustworthy enough for China’s standard.
It is also important to note, of course, that two scenarios may still render this screenshot irrelevant. 1) The verdict, which was not mentioned in the screenshot, was “not guilty” and 2) the name listed in the case, 袁依楣, was not MXTX at all.
Few have seemed to suspect 2) to be a possibility. Her real name might have been prior knowledge among some fans, or the combination of her surname and city of residence. 1) has been the where the concern / debate is.
I included China’s rate of conviction in the original post for this reason: acquittal is exceedingly rare (<0.1%) for the arrested in China. This short article discussed some reasons.
So, is it possible that MXTX is now a free woman? Yes. Is it likely? Not at all.
Still, since the probability that MXTX is imprisoned isn’t 100%, is spreading this news smearing her name? Fear-mongering?
I can only answer for myself, Anon, but my answer is no for both questions, which is why I’ve felt comfortable posting about her case. MXTX’s alleged “crimes” are things we already knew she did, or common practices among Chinese IP writers. We know she penned MDZS and other BL works; we know MDZS, in particular, has an 18+ element. She was said to have sold merch based on her works, but that wasn’t unusual at all for writers in Jinjiang, where she published her writing. Even those who don’t like her have seemed to agree that it was her writing that got her into trouble, not some other crimes she could’ve committed.
IMO, a guilty verdict doesn’t tell us as much about her as it does about the judicial system, the business practices of her country. It’s worth re-mentioning that media giants such as Tencent are closely tied to the government; Tencent’s WeChat, for example, is part of China’s Great Firewall and is used for surveillance, for censorship and removal of political dissidents. What MXTX’s case hints at is this: the government has (very likely) convicted her, while its close allies are continuing to use her works—works that got her into legal trouble in the first place—to make money. Some fans of MXTX have questioned if the courts have censored the details of the case to save the embarrassment of the rich and powerful, calling what has happened to MXTX 人血饅頭 (“human blood steamed buns”), an idiom used to describe the act of profiting out of someone elses’ life.
As for fear-mongering, here are my thoughts ~ it would’ve been fear-mongering if the public has access to the facts, and not years after they happen. Specifically, it would’ve been fear-mongering to leak the rumours of MXTX’s sentencing, when the judicial system is transparent and the case details will soon be published for all to see. Why? Because “fear” comes from the unknown, and “-monger” is the unnecessary promotion, stirring-up of this fear.
To promote, stir up anything, one needs a reference level. The reference level in this scenario is this: what is the level of fear if the facts about MXTX’s (and other BL writers’) situation are known? Of course, this knowledge doesn’t make MXTX’s experience any easier or more just; it doesn’t cause her less fear. However, she isn’t the target audience of this likely-to-be-true rumour. The target audience is the public and in particular, those who consume and/or generate BL material online.
What is the level of fear among this population if the facts about MXTX’s (and other BL writers’) situation are known? It’s the (relative) comfort in knowing the government’s stance on what they do: how the administration feels about BL, 18+ BL, and their distribution methods. The comfort comes from having the right information to decide how to act accordingly. For example, if I’m a BL writer based in China and I know the court has found MXTX guilty of bypassing publishing houses but not of writing M/M romance, then I’ll know to not produce paper versions of my writing, but I can keep writing.
This reference level of fear is unavailable here, however, since the government has decided to withhold all details about the case. Without this reference level, fear-mongering becomes a ... difficult to define concept.
Are these likely-to-be-true rumours agents of fear, or are they hints on how to survive in a country that lacks transparency?
Continuing with the example of I being a Chinese BL writer, since I cannot expect to hear more facts about MXTX, this rumour is all I’ve got in choosing what to do with my hobby, in deciding whether it is safe to continue. As I’m aware that a rumour isn’t a fact, I first research on the rumour’s likelihood of truth (similar to what I’ve done for MXTX’s case), and cross my fingers that I don’t get it wrong.
By doing so, I’m turning these rumours into my survival guide.
Is it risky? Yes. Is it exhausting? Absolutely. But this is the way of life for people who live under secretive, authoritarian governments—the authoritarian element making it impossible to demand more facts. It may take people outside such regimes some time to get used to—to the lifestyle, and to the idea that, in a place where news is often synonymous with propaganda, rumours are breadcrumbs of truth that should be sieved through with equal care as one would sieve through the news. Heeding, considering the probable truth of what the authority has deemed to be fear-mongering rumours can be a matter of literal life and death.
Take...COVID.
(I apologize for bringing up this unpleasant topic!)
I shall link to an article about the early spread of COVID in Wuhan here and ask: were Dr. Li Wenliang and the seven other doctors fear-mongering? Wuhanese chose to believe in the government, but at what cost to them? What would the world be like today if they took the early COVID rumours as true and masked up like Hong Kongers—Hong Kongers who weren’t any smarter or better, but had simply learned their painful lessons from the 2003 SARS epidemic?
(Why hadn’t the Wuhanese learned? Because the government has long changed the narrative of SARS, taught their people that the illness originated in Hong Kong.)
(How can one learn from past mistakes if one pretends those mistakes never existed?)
You must be wondering, Anon, why I’m talking about COVID when your next question is about YiZhan. The death of Dr Li Wenliang on February 7th, 2020, sparked a demand for freedom of speech rarely seen in internet-age China. Its fury, its ferocity forced the government to change its stance on Dr Li, again an unusual move. Since January 2020, Weibo had been censoring COVID news and opinion pieces that shedded a negative light to the central government; after the death of Dr Li, the censorship apparatus stepped up, making way for the propaganda machine to kick in later and change the narrative of the pandemic.
Here are some questions without definite answers, but may be food for thought for YiZhan fans:
1) While the Chinese government’s censorship apparatus (including Weibo) might have silenced the voices of dissent, of mourning on the surface, was it more likely to pacify, or fuel the anger of netizens, many of whom had lost loved ones, many of whom were still under quarantine?
2) Less than three weeks after the death of Dr Li, a group of fans demanded even *more* censorship from the government—the closing of an internet website that had been seen as a relatively free space to express oneself. How would these netizens react, even though they knew little about these fans or their idol?
(It was, in the context of the massive silencing of COVID discussions in China, that I learned about the ban of AO3. There had been rumours that the government would censor more websites on 2020/03/01. When I read about AO3′s ban on 2/27, my thoughts were 1) Hmm. This came two days early. 2) AO3? Really?)
(I wouldn’t watch The Untamed or know who Gg was until several months later.)
Now, Anon, this is a good time to get to your CCP (Chinese Communist Party) question.
The very short answer is no. There’s no way to support YiZhan without, to a certain level, supporting the CCP. As mentioned above, the media companies are all part of China’s surveillance system. Weibo is where freedom of speech is curbed. Our two boys have been part of the propaganda machine; the BBC article linked above had a tiny picture of Gg on it, as he was a performer in the Hero in Harm’s Way (最美逆行者), a “real-life based” drama on COVID. DD just did a show glorying the Chinese police force (and here’s a video of the same force welding doors to lock in COVID-stricken residents).
Nonetheless, here’s my first advice: please do not beat yourself up for supporting YiZhan!
Gg and Dd are people who live within the system, inside the Great Firewall. They understand the world the way their government has taught them to—not only in school, but also in the news and media. Like most youths in every country, they’re patriotic—and to expect them to be otherwise, especially because of information they don’t have, is both unrealistic and unfair. Even if they do know about certain things impermissible within the Firewall, in China (as in many Communists countries), openly expressing / performing one’s proper political leanings (ie. loyalty towards CCP) is among the most important pre-requisites for any job. This has been especially true for c-ent in recent years .
They, like most of their countrymen, are doing what they have to do.
In this case, it comes to us, our decisions on how to interact with their works. How should we deal with them, their propaganda elements?
The answer, of course, varies from person to person. Personally, I’ve chosen the approaches of “immunisation” and “restriction”. By “immunisation”, I mean learning about as much historical and sociopolitical facts from non-CCP sponsored sources; this is understandably difficult for someone who doesn’t already have some familiarity with the culture and politics of the region, and/or cannot read the language.
Restriction means limiting my consumption of media produced by China. I avoid shows (dramas, documentaries, variety etc) featuring topics that are likely to contain heavy propaganda, such as the military, the police, Hong Kong/Macao/Taiwan, and of course, anything pertaining to the CCP, from its rise to its governance of the country.
In general, I’m wary of all information presented about the post-monarchy years (post 1911), even though CCP wouldn’t begin its reign until after WWII (1949). Why so early? 1) Because CCP was formed in 1921 and so its glorification requires a change of narrative since then; 2) because the Nationalist Party (Kuomintang, KMT), which governed China between 1912 and 1949 (the so-called Republican Era 民國), would end up exiling to and setting up a new government in Taiwan.
How much propaganda should one expect in shows depicting the country post-1911? The current TV and webdrama directives (previously discussed in this post) offer some hints. Here are my translations of the relevant items:
D7) Dramas about the Republican era: Glorification of the Republican Era, the Beiyang Government, and Warlord Era requires strict control.
D10) Crime drama: crime drama is the focus of content auditing. The Ministry of Public Security (Pie note: in charge of law enforcement, ie, police) will be involved in the audit. The process of crime solving cannot be exposed; criminal psychology and motivations can however be depicted in detail. Undercover police cannot use drugs or kill, or damage the image of the police force. Criminals must be punished by law.
D12) Dramas featuring realistic topics: realistic topics must adhere to the correct world view, philosophy of life and moral values. They cannot place too strong an emphasis on social conflicts, must showcase the beautiful lives of the commoners. Regular folks should display larger-than-life sentiments and aspirations; they can pursue wealth, but must use proper means to do so; they cannot damage the public image of specific employment types, groups and social organisations. Do not preach negative or decadent world view, philosophy of life and moral values. Do not exaggerate, amplify social issues; do not over showcase, display the darker sides of society; do not preach affluence, avoid things that have no basis in real life.
D16) Dramas featuring the Revolution (Pie note: CCP’s coming to power): 2019 is the publicity period of the 70th Anniversary of the People’s Republic of China. Although the “Three Importances” (important revolution, important people, important events) are still encouraged, the National Radio and Television Administration requires all departments, at all levels, to strengthen the control of content and the overall management of the industry, and focus on the auditing of content pertaining to the Sino-Japanese war and espionage dramas.
These directives (as those translated in the other post) are as vague as they are restrictive, and to err on the side of caution, production companies tend to “overachieve” to avoid going against headwinds at the censorship board. This means their products have a tendency to malign the Republican Era (D7). It means they will likely twist history in trying to depict the CCP as faultless heroes (D16). It means they'll probably present a utopian-like society and call it reality-based (D12), a society in which the good guys share the same values as the CCP and always win (D10).
Yes, my “restriction” means I skipped Hero in Harm’s Way. It means I’ve never listened to Gg’s version of 我和我的祖國 despite my absolute adoration of his voice. It means I just missed Dd’s performance in the law enforcement celebration event. It means I don’t plan on watching Being A Hero and Ace Troops.
So here’s where I’ve drawn the line, Anon, but it doesn’t mean that’s what anyone should do. Only you alone can decide where your own comfort zone is. I write these metas in the hopes that it can offer a … gateway for those who’d like to understand, with a more telescopic lens, Gg and Dd’s country—a country that holds a particularly strong hold over its citizens’ fate including, yes, their romantic fate. It’s not my wish to impose my opinions on anyone.
If I have other hopes… It’s this. Please, as long as it’s safe for you to talk, do not self-censor—especially about facts, especially on sites like Tumblr or Twitter that have long been banned by the Chinese government. I don’t mean one should go about and confront those who insist on a different version of reality. To undo opinions rooted in years of education, IMO, the process has to be voluntary, and the information is already at the fingertips of those who’re surfing these sites and wish to learn more. More importantly, open discussions of these topics may be risky for those who still have close ties to China, and keeping them safe should always be the top priority.
What I mean is simply this ~ please do not feel obliged to agree with every perspective presented in YiZhan’s work just because you support the leads. Please do not feel you must remain silent about the CCP—its good, bad and ugly—just because your favourite stars happen to come from the country it’s ruling. And please remember: “Chinese”, as a term, has always included people who live outside CCP’s control, many of whom still fully embrace the culture, traditions and values of Historical China, a 5000-years long string of dynasties with shifting borders, ethnic makeup and customs. The Untamed is a mainland Chinese production, yes, but its genre, its manner of presenting certain traditions, wouldn’t have been developed, or flourished, without the diaspora. The CCP has only been the ruling party of one country, the People’s Republic of China, for 71 years, and as a party with foreign (soviet) roots and a record of destroying the pillar of the country’s tradition, Confucianism, it doesn’t own a monopolistic say on how every Chinese should think and act—no matter how much it insists it does—or how everyone should think and speak about China and its people.
It isn’t qualified.
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A Little Curiousity
Idol: Heejin (Loona)
Prompt: Guys! Can u do smth like a AU with Heejin where the reader and Heejin are POKEMON TRAINERS!!(im rly hyped about the new pokemon games!!!) Where her pokemon got lost in the woods and the reader helps her find her pokemon and decide to continue their path to the Pokemon League together!
Writer: Admin Kiwi
A/N: I just finished playing Pokémon Shield on my Switch and I’m still super excited about it since it was so fun, so I thought I’d try my hand at this prompt! Please forgive me if my writing isn’t the greatest, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!
Heejin wouldn’t normally consider herself a slow or inattentive person. After all, being a trainer had heightened her senses and made her pay more attention to her surroundings. But she had been in the middle of setting up her tent when it happened, too distracted with her full hands to react fast enough. She hadn’t even noticed Star, her Raboot, curiously approaching the tree as she focused on getting her tent up before the approaching clouds could open their floodgates.
She hadn’t noticed until the sky lit up with lightening, the ground shook with the force of the thunder, and he let out a loud squeak just as something hit the grass. At the squeak, she had turned just in time to see him dash off into the woods after a very large, very startled Skwovet, leaving her and the rest of her team to stare after him.
“Star! Stop!” She’d called after him, but it was too late. By the time she had jumped to her feet, he was gone and the skies opened, pouring a heavy rain down onto the campsite. She had only taken a moment to corral her team into the tent and tell them to stay before she ran after him, but he was already long gone.
Now she was soaked through and gasping for air, her new boots covered in thick mud as she stopped to catch her breath under a huge oak.
“Stupid Skwovet, how did it just jump out of nowhere like that?” Heejin huffed and stomped her foot as she looked around, squinting through the rain. “Star! Come here!” A distant roar answered her call and she shivered, clutching the Pokeball at her side that contained her Mubray Champion, the only companion she’d thought to bring with her in her haste. God, this was so stupid. She was going to catch a cold wandering around out here. Thankfully she’d left her backpack with her clothes at the tent so she could change when she got back.
She went to take a step forward, then froze. Her tent. Where was it again? A bit frantic, she looked around, but all the trees just looked the same, especially under the heavy rain. Gulping, she glanced back at her footprints. Would she be able to follow them back?
Half of her wanted to run back the way she’d come, but she knew that she couldn’t leave Star out there alone. Groaning, she wiped at her face with the back of her hand, swearing to herself that she was going to get a leash the next time they were in town. There was no way she was going to let this happen again. She was miserable as she started forward again, cursing everything. Stupid rain, stupid Skwovet, stupid curious Raboots, stupid woods-.
“Hey, are you okay?” The voice that came from deeper inside the woods made her jump and stop in her tracks again, her head swiveling around to try and find where it came from. “I heard you out here in the rain so I came to see if everything was alright. You’re totally soaked!”
She found herself looking to her right and watching as you stepped out of the darkness, an umbrella over your head and your eyes wide and concerned. For a moment, she was apprehensive, until she noticed that the belt around your waist was full of Pokeballs and you had a Pumpkeboo trailing after you, peeking at her from over your shoulder. Somehow, you seemed a bit familiar as well, but she couldn’t tell why. Not through the rain and the darkness that lingered in the woods at all hours of the day.
A quick glance down at herself had her feeling embarrassed and she let out a soft laugh, pushing her wet hair away from her face. “Well, I don’t know. My Raboot ran off into the woods while I was setting up camp and now I can’t find him in the downpour.”
Your frown was sympathetic as you stepped forward, close enough to cover her with your umbrella. Now that she wasn’t moving, she realized how cold she was, making her shiver again. Your frown only deepened. “You aren’t going to be able to find anything in this downpour. Why don’t you come over to my camp? It’s right back through these trees here. I’ll give you some of our curry and you can warm up by the fire while we try to figure out how to find that Raboot of yours.”
For a moment, she hesitated, before realizing that you were right. She could barely see anything and Star wasn’t going to come out from wherever he was hiding until the rain ended. “You’re right. Thank you,” she said, a grateful smile stretching over her lips as she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to conserve as much body heat as possible. “I owe you one. My name is Heejin, by the way.”
You smiled in return as you started to guide her back the way you came. “I’m (Y/N), and don’t mention it. It’s the least I can do for a fellow trainer. You’re trying to get your gym badges, aren’t you?”
With a raise of her eyebrows, she asked you how you knew, drawing a laugh from your lips.
“I’m a trainer too and I’ve seen you at the past few gyms. You always challenge right before me, so I’ve seen you fight a few times. You’re really good!”
“Oh, thank you.” Her face burnt a bit at the praise, but she was thankful for the warmth so she didn’t turn away. Instead, she studied your face, before her eyebrows raised in recognition. “That’s why you looked a bit familiar to me! I’ve definitely seen you at the gyms before. Although I guess I’ve never seen you fight,” she said sheepishly, making you laugh again.
“That’s okay, like I said, I’ve been after you, so I wasn’t expecting you to stick around and watch every round. Not while there’s still so many of us challengers. It’s nice to officially meet you though.”
“Same to you, although I wish we’d met under slightly less.... Wet conditions.”
“True. Oh, we’re here!” The trees disappeared suddenly, giving way to a small clearing just big enough for a campsite, where your other Pokémon ran over to great you. You had your tent set up and your curry cooking, and she felt her stomach grumble. It had been a long day, and even though she’d given her team berries to tide them over until dinner earlier, she hadn’t eaten in a while.
“Come over here and warm up,” you told her, guiding her under your makeshift shelter by the fire before closing your umbrella and going about filling up a plate. With a happy sigh, she leaned closer to the fire and smiled at your Vulpix as it wandered closer, sharing its warmth. As she let Champion the Mudbray out to run around with your team, you approached her with the plate. “Here, have some of this.”
The curry was spicy, and she let out a hum as she swallowed her first bite. “That’s delicious!”
“Thank you,” you said, a smile stretching over your face as you sat down and let the Vulpix climb into your lap and snuggle close. “I’m glad you like it. Most of my experience is in cooking for Pokémon, so I’m always a little worried that it might not be edible for humans.”
It was her turn to laugh before she took another bite, already feeling warmer. Before she knew it, she had already finished the plate and she felt warm inside and out, most likely thanks to the extra heat Vulpix had added to the fire. The rain had let up as well, and there was a bit of sun peeking through the clouds as the downpour turned into a tiny drizzle.
“I can’t thank you enough,” she said earnestly, “I feel a bit guilty for taking up your time,” but you waved a hand, dismissing her guilt.
“Don’t worry about it, Heejin. I’m glad I was able to help.” You looked out at the woods. “Now that you aren’t going to freeze to death and it’s no longer raining, we should start looking for your Raboot.”
Her stomach dropped and she sighed, placing her plate down and standing up. “I feel terrible for leaving him out there in the rain.”
“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t find him,” you soothed, putting Vulpix down and standing up as well. “I’m sure he was able to find shelter in plenty of time. Pokémon are animals, after all. They’re good at surviving the elements.”
“That’s true. But I still want to find him as quickly as possible.”
“Then let me help.” You whistled, getting the attention of the Pokémon. “Come on guys, let’s go find Heejin’s Raboot!” Turning back to her, you raised your eyebrows. “Does he have a name?”
“Yes, his name is Star. You don’t have to do this, you know. I don’t want to be a bother.”
“But I want to.”
Something in her heart fluttered at your words and she felt her cheeks flushing. “Oh. Well then, thank you again (Y/N). His name is Star. Hopefully he’ll come out now that’s it’s not raining as much anymore.”
The ground was still muddy, but the trickle of sunlight made it easier to say and, without the drumming of the rain, it was easier to hear all the different sounds of the forest. With Champion trotting behind her and you by her side, Heejin made her way back into the woods, calling for Star. She had to admit that having you by her side made her feel a lot better: the various sounds from other wild Pokémon didn’t scare her as much anymore. No matter what was out there, surely the two of you would be able to take it. It gave her more bravery to search, and search she did, looking anywhere she thought Star might hide.
“Star, come here! It’s not raining anymore, you can come out now!” Crouching down, she peered into another den, only to quickly back away at the sight of a sleeping Bunnelby and sigh. “Where is he? Maybe he went back to camp?” She stood and dusted off her still-damp pants, about to suggest that the two of you try to find your way back to her camp before you let out a gasp.
“Heejin, I think I found him!” At your call, she spun around to see you peering up into a short berry tree, your eyes wide. “Hey little guy, how did you get up there?”
Heejin broke into a run, clearing the short distance in no time with her heartbeat spiking in her chest. Sure enough, when she looked up she saw Star shivering and clutching at the branch he sat on, his little ears wet from the rain and his eyes quivering. “Star! Oh my god, you scared me!”
The little Raboot sniffed and glanced away, trying to look cool, but she could see him shaking. With a relieved smile, she reached up to pull him down and clutched him close to her chest. “Don’t ever do that again! I know you’re getting bigger, but what if you had run into a big wild Pokémon? Poor baby, you’re soaked through.” She quickly unzipped her coat to wrap it around him before zipping it back up, and he snuggled closer to her chest, obviously exhausted. With an affectionate, yet long-suffering sigh, she pet his little head. “I’ll cook your favorite curry when we get back, okay? It’ll warm you right back up.”
When she looked up, you were looking at her with a similar affection twinkling in your eyes, your hands in your pockets.
“Thank you so much again for finding him,” she said, shaking her head. “I should have known he’d be up in a tree looking for food.”
“How did he even get up there?” You looked back up at the branch he’d been sitting on, looking a bit incredulous. “I’ve never heard of Raboots climbing trees, that’s for sure. I just happened to look up and see a flash of red and white.”
She laughed, still softly petting his head. “He’s too adventurous for his own good. Add that to his endless energy, his speed and constant growing, and his huge appetite, and you get a Raboot with no problem getting into trees. He doesn’t climb as much as he runs and jumps.”
“Oh, that makes more sense.” Your smile returned and she felt her heart flip as your eyes met hers, the spark of affection still lingering. “I’m glad you found him. I can’t imagine how scary it is to loose a Pokémon.”
“I acted annoyed, but I was really scared,” she admitted. “I don’t know what I’d do without this little guy. He was my first Pokémon ever.”
“I can tell how close you guys are. It’s cute.” You grinned and her cheeks warmed again as she watched the sun slip in through the leaves to light up your face. It was like the universe was asking her to fall for you or something.
“I-I... Thank you?” She let out a nervous giggle, then perked up at the familiar sound of her Liepard’s call. It was somewhere close by, which meant that her camp wasn’t far away! “Champion, can you lead the way back?” He gave her a little nod of his head before she turned to smile brightly at you. “My camp is close by, why don’t I give you some potions as a thank you?”
“Oh, you don’t have to!” Your eyes widened as you waved your hands. “I just wanted to help, I didn’t want anything in return!”
“Still, I want to do something to return your kindness. I’m really glad I ran into you out here.”
Your face immediately softened at her words and you fell into step beside her, a small smile on your lips. “You know, I always wanted to approach you at the gyms, but I was too nervous.”
“Really?” Her mouth dropped open. “Why?”
“You seemed to be so good, so confident, so, um, pretty,” you blushed as you spoke, looking down at your shoes. “I was intimidated by you, honestly. But now I see that I should have approached you sooner.”
“I can’t see myself be intimidating,” she said, still shocked, before her lips turned up into a hopeful smile. “Want to make our way to the next gym together? It would be nice to have some company on the journey, and I want to get to know you better.”
You visibly perked up at her suggestion, just as Champion broke through the woods into her camp, returning to the happy calls of her team. The sun was bright as the two of you stepped into the clearing, and your eyes sparkled in the light as you beamed at her, making her heart skip more than just one beat.
“I’d love that!” You exclaimed, and her smile stretched to match yours, all of the fear, and cold from earlier being replaced by an excitement that lit a fire in her chest, different from the competitive determination she’d felt at the beginning of her journey.
“Great! This is going to be so much fun, I just know it.”
As she placed a sleeping Star into her tent and covered him with a blanket, listening to you coo at her other Pokémon, she couldn’t feel the annoyance she’d felt earlier, forgetting her promises to scold him when she found him. Instead, she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead before sitting back to admire you, full of anticipation for the future.
“I never thought I’d say this, Star,” she said in a whisper as she stood up to head back out to you, head already spinning with plans of what she wanted to do with you. “But I’m so glad that you’re the curious type. I’ll cook you something nice to thank you for this when you wake up. I have a feeling that this is going to be big!”
#femifics#loona#heejin#loona scenarios#heejin scenarios#girl group scenarios#kpop scenario#girl groups#kpop girl groups
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I Really threw off my sleep scechule and I'm Hella Loopy and trying to stay awake and get the energy to work. Related, here is a list of crafts & things I Would Personally do w Vincent Sinclair as artsy dates, because my brain is very soft and smooth and my heart is fuzzy :) take these as ur s/o daydreams too if u want.
Bleach tie dye. He doesn't seem to be all that into colorful clothes, that much is clear, BUT bleack tiedyed clothes result in some incredibly cool patterns w/out usually going too overboard w the colors, esp if it's a dark piece of clothing. Ofc spot painting w it would be dope too, I think he could create some of the coolest mermaid designs.... scale patterns......... also, rust dyeing !!!!!!!! Dunno if thats very effective on dark fabrics tho.
This is pretty obvious, but candle making!!!! I bet he totally does that too sometimes, recular ole dip candles for relaxation from time to time. Making cool gothy black candles together for some homemade dinner 2gether later in the week? Daaaaamn :')
Moth night. This is literally one of my biggest dream dates and not really a craft, but just bringing out some soft lamp outside and sitting around it together drinking tea and watching all the bugs n moths that r attracted to it. I feel like he might rly like those kinda creatures, fuzzy butterflies in the dark ; v ;
Artspace cleanup 2gether. It can be so mad overwhelming to clean up ur own creative space sometimes but it just has to be done, so, making a date w music out of that, figuring out creative organization elements together n hell hmyeag......
As a face insecure person too... i WOULD like for him to make me a mask too :') then we can match.
The genuine simple joy of just sketching eachother in diff positions, croquis night 💖 the extreme lack of erotisism in standing still naked xept for socks so someone can focus on failing at art is a supportive couples activity if u ask me.
MaKING HOME DECOR FOR UR SHARED HOME 2GETHER. SIMPLE AS THAT.
Thank you now i will go and try to be a functional human being :)
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Things I admire about other enneagram types (from a 5 perspective)
6: You have this switch you can throw where you can just act confident in dire situations. I know from what you tell me it feels awful on the inside but it’s still useful. I can’t do that unless I’m actually confident about something. Some of you also have excellent BS detectors & think of checking things that wouldn’t occur to me. ive learned so much from you guys im jully that your ideas are so much more practical on average
3: You somehow bring the joys of practical problem solving approach into the social/interpersonal realm & somehow solve things that I wouldn’t consider solveable. There’s something rly valuable to being ‘a positive realist’.
8: How are you so concise? You’re so good at saying things in a clear, impactful manner! (compared to us rambly head types at least)
It’s a somewhat rare type & I don’t know many people, so I don’t know anyone IRL in depht, but at least for the more self-aware examples, many that I’ve seen in internet videos etc. also strike me as pretty likeable, especially in that straightforwardness & the way they admit to their stuff and like... actually say things out loud that’s just instantly interesting.
1: Some 1s are not chill, but the ones that are are very chill indeed. Very impressive. The cool & unique thing about your way of thinking is how you’re objective but positivistic (without an overly positive focus) - my way of thinking is more negativistic, I see holes, things that are not there etc. novel visions happen but it’s hard to synthethize them on purpose. You guys tho? You see what IS there & concrete visions for what can be done to fix stuff.
Something that I find fascinating is how we’re both running optimization algorithms but yours is maximizing (looking for the most results for a fixed expense) while mine is minimizing. (looking to get a fixed results with least uneccesary variables)
7: So many cool ideas! Actually way more competent & dilligent than ppl assume especially if older & wiser. Ppl underappreciate how much this is very much a mental type. Please, do keep talking interesting stuff to me im listening * big shiny owl eyes *
Also have the advantage of usually having tons of other friends to have fun with when I don’t feel like extroverting right now so i dont feel so bad if i cant make it all the time.
9: Maybe you think ppl don’t want to hear about your vast imagination but I for once think it’s super cool. No pressure to share though, not making a big deal about it just makes you mysterious. When you do tell me your thoughts, i can rest assured in the knowledge that im a special level 10 friend. ^-^
Also you can be so likeable & funny & ppl really listen to you? Like I’ve noticed myself that sometimes I’d be all angry & worked up into some complicated idea about why I’m right and the other person is terrible, and then this 9 dude who’d just been listening on the sidelines so far would say something super disarming that just cut through all my BS rationalisations, and soon after there was just no more argument & I really changed my actions long-term??
4: Ppl don’t sufficiently appreciate how badass you can be, esp when you know what you want
Over the years I had several 4 friends who were just, like, me but cooler, if I had the energy & comitment for this sort of consummate defiance against The Machine every day. One had picked up some old mannequins & made a decoration for her room out of it & that was such a power move? & she knew all these obscure art films... I wish I’d stayed in touch with them more.
2: i would prolly write more here if i knew more 2s in-depht; Even so I must commend how you notice & remember so much stuff about ppl?
For all that I think that conventions like social obligations gifts & holidays are often forced BS, I’m impressed with how much love you can put into that. It doesn’t feel like BS coming from you.
5: Now I don’t know that many in-depht, but from my own, possibly biased PoV I’ve perceived the few other ones I’ve actually got to know as refreshingly uncomplicated & accepting (even if they seem picky at first), but also way more passionate than you’d think on first glance. You should see them in their element, if you have the opportunity. The sorts of ppl whose eyes sparkle for the beauty in forgotten places.
IDK if others would also describe me this way as well. One does try.
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/&/&@2@3@3 i decided im not opening any socials when im half sleep anymore 😐 BC I JUST NOTICED IT BYE
anyways,,, my thoughts on jjk 146 b4 i log off again // (1)
this chapter just rly sheds a light on why their academic scores are the way they are sjjsjsjsj
on objective judgements of power i have to say i trust maki, who's never rly shown bias, the most among the students ,, when she says yuuta is the strongest, yuuta is the strongest,,, likewise, i sometimes dont trust yuuta, who sometimes doesnt trust in himself 😔
i don't think i have thoughts for this chp that i haven't already considered before ??? *squints* did i miss sth
are non shamans aware of the game tho... they're all just cursed, right, but ,,, do they know it..
i increasingly feel that megumi knows sth and is not spitting it out bc how many times has he very transparently deflected this chapter,, also idk if it was intentional but the way the hokkaido discussion put a bubble right on top of his face
alao how tf do u just casually curse the majority of jpn?? wild,, i hope the ainu do play a significant role down the line tho. i wonder with kurisu hand involvement if we will also see another shaman faction emerge since there's some degree of tieback to religion
and not megumi being blase abt his death! his ‘yeah whatever if i die it'll be fine’ was the least convincing thing ever!!! he’s so casual abt the idea sukuna could use him like,, what are u thinking megumi ,, then again he knows sukuna doesn't want him dead rn
since ppl are talking about nanamis CT,, maybe it's that all CTs belong to a single pool, there can only ever be one holder of the ability at a time so there's a restricted number of abilities and that's what also accounts for the small number of shamans
tengen’s barrier presumably works bc shamans agree it participate voluntarily,, it makes sure CTs remain in the pool. CTs rotate out at certain intervals, checking each other, bc the amount of cursed spirits also rises according to shaman power lvls
which makes me wonder if the golden age was a reaction to sukuna's growth in power, except that his fingers remain, the power is still circulating and kenjaku is out being an asshole. so 10 shadow, 6 eyes, curse manipulation all at the same time is maybe a reaction to kenjaku’s power plays
depends on how many of these super long living shamans there are too,, many of them have elemental powers or powers related to keeping the shaman world in check,, re: techniques and curse manipulation
imo there's also a suggested convergence where at some point a shaman hits critical mass and starts to tip over into cursed spirit territory. like,,, ur cells become so saturated by that cursed energy it starts to eat and replace ur actual mass and cursed spirits with a bunch of cursed energy become more capable of emotional nuance and approach a more "human" feeling ,,, idk. balance is clearly more literal and more relevant than we thought
ainu (irl and probs here too) are an indigenous group that reside in hokkaido. if we’re basing on recent laws and the fact that hokkaido is home to many many sacred sites based on their spiritual belief of gods manifesting as anything from nature,,, so if we look at in from jjk and shaman society perspective, it’s only right that tokyo/kyoto shaman society have no hold on hokkaido.
and based from the tensions in the past due to the government (irl), i doubt ainu shaman tech aren’t as open and prone to control as tokyo or kyoto are
i hope i’m not overlapping my thoughts with phantom seer that i’m catching up to rn bc it also involves shamanism sjsjjeen - 🐱 (2)
seeing the ainu panel made me excited because I think that that means that the ainu may be getting a special spotlight later on
DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MEGUMI!!! I WAS SO UPSET!! i know he likely did it to protect yuji and everyone but im still so....like that’s the last thing he wanted. all he wants is to live and protect his friends and tsumiki....
yeah...the last panel had me thinking about nanami’s cursed technique. it would be interesting if CT’s could be traded or smt, but I always thought CT’s were something inherent and unique to the individual but who knows at this point
i want more on the zenin clan politics and how exactly megumi became head. also very very interesting that gojo’s presence was the only thing keeping the “shared” armory stocked. the minute gojo was sealed they took back the weapons and dipped. i wonder why it was created in the first place!!
#the way you roasted EVERYONE#thank you golden kamuy for educating me on the ainu#megumi really went yeah i might die. anyway.#IM SO WORRIED FOR ALL OF THEM#🐱 anon
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uhhh schedule thread ideas < 3 and general updates 4 some kids. if u vibe, feel free to like or message me over on fmdjoosung or discord
sung
obvs quicksilver members r the go to here. sung’s gonna start working on writing from on the plane ride there, and if it’s chill w yall, would do what hongjoong did, request letters to special people from the members in order to write the lyrics? but the demo won’t be finished/shown to the members in full until they go back to the states in aug. also forever a bc fanboy so he’d b a lil jazzed for the growl performance n would take the choreo creation V Seriously
he’ll also b at the orphanage and meals to the elderly volunteering opportunities. he’d go to all three but he’s unfortunately out of the country for the first. it’s a natural activity for him n would have him in more peaceful spirits than otherwise lately
alcohol abuse tw i’ll put this here in short form, but after the triple fantasy event, sung’s started falling into the habit of using alcohol as a crutch. it’s not to an extreme extent for the average person, but for sung, who a few years ago had never been drunk, it’s a lot. it’ll be something affecting him in the future and since so much has changed in his life, as a mun, i can’t dictate entirely how things will go so i’m playing things in his life by ear atm! if you’d like your muse to be part of the journey we can plot stuff out, n same goes for if you’d want to specify it not b mentioned!
andy
he’s more or less out of the country from the end of june into september, either on tour with charm, or filming his drama
he’ll be around for a week in july, and performing at the ulsan music festival for any muses in decipher, lipstick, knight, unity, aria, impulse, fuse, femme fatale, or vive. general mood is tired, but p happy. catch him early in the day for the best spirits
he’ll also be at the animal shelter volunteering. does indeed say fuck those kids and fuck those old ppl (pls notice the jest) but u can def get that cliche tsundere ass ‘grumpy to the ppl volunteering w him but lights up when a pet is in front of him’
i also decided a bit back since he’s wearing a wig for his drama anyway he’s growing out his hair for homerun and he’s getting a wolf/shag cut and he’s gonna fit the 70s aesthetic so chefs kiss and it’s legally required for someone to tell him how hot he looks
lastly hallyu dream concert open to muses from decipher, bee, lipstick, knight, chroma crystal, gal.actic, alien, mars, lucid, silhouette, aria, origin, impulse, or fuse. likely a bit more grumpy than the happier days from fatigue but not the grumpiest of grumps
jeonghwa
promoting til july 15, then promoting again sept 15-oct 15
after july’s girl anthem get it releases, ~end of august and into october she’ll be preparing more heavily for her first solo album release. there’s a lot of elements to it n it’s a p long process vs her singles thus far, so that’ll have to be shoved into the spaces between cbs and while promoting with lucid. any kind of ‘around dimensions’ threads could happen there, n her emotions would change depending on the day so we could work smth specific out!
overall in this quarter and probably into the next, her fatigue will be at a peak. she’s determined to put her best foot forward and push thru her problems, but it’s going to long term make her realize she can’t keep up like this, and 2022 will have to take that into account
she’ll b at the orphanage volunteering, more company pushed than her own choice, but she would have chosen the orphanage specifically, because she likes kids a lot
three concerts/festivals here so there’s:
chinese international students festival open to muses in alien, 7rophy, silhouette, impulse, or fuse
hallyu dream concert open to muses from decipher, bee, lipstick, knight, chroma crystal, gal.actic, alien, mars, lucid, silhouette, aria, origin, impulse, or fuse
cheonan world dance festival open to muses from 7rophy, silhouette, or fuse
ki
she has the least going on when it comes to solo schedules, but that’s her concept atm, n they’re not rly needed bc she’s still so busy with fuse n fuse b&w
she’s promoting until july 21st, then promoting again sept 7-oct 7
she’ll be at all the same multi-in-verse group festivals/concerts i listed above, as well as a concert with knight light, and a concert with wish and aria. i’m not gonna check but im p sure these like 6 festivals make up almost every group in the rp so most muses could find her somewhere
when she’s not on tour or at a festival or promoting, she’ll likely be found in the gold star practice rooms. the reception to monster and naughty have really reinvigorated her, lifted her spirit when it comes to her dance and her place in the group so she’s at her peak with creativity and idol energy. that doesnt mean she’s hyper or changing personality, but that she’d be more willing to share her training time with others, more willing to have conversations about work, stuff like that
catching her at a bad moment when her interpersonal conflicts are getting in the way is a possibility too
she won’t be naturally going to any of the volunteering opportunities bc she likes keeping a lower profile despite having such a heart on for attention, But she could be convinced if someone she liked wanted her to go, or if someone prodded enough with the positive attention she’d get for it
#fmdcall#alcohol abuse tw#bullet point containing it is bolded with the trigger if you wanna skip just the one bullet#i might add to these as other stuff pops up i dunno this is kinda like back when i did sung's schedule posts but less formatted#ive spent so long on this for basically no reason
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