#but i dont wanna hurt my mom and dad i love them sm!!
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𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
#im so sick of living in a religious house :((#im sure its the reason for almost all my mental health problems and i cant even discuss it#i wanna respect my religion sm bc my familys believes in it sm but idk how long id be able to take it#i dont even realize how completely drained and numb ive become until im not at home#i have a pretty house loving mom and dad and three siblings and yet ive never felt so alone#its like i dont even know the girl who lives here#she feels nothing she reacts at nothing even talking feels like a chore to her#honestly i miss myself#i miss everything about me#religious values stupid expectations the constant judgment and need to mold me into something#im so tired of it 😭😭#i just wanna live plsss#i dont know when my life will even begin#when will i have a life that’s my own??#without a thousand ppl weighing it down#no one here lets me live 😭😭#sometimes i wish id get kidnapped or smth#or id get lost#but i dont wanna hurt my mom and dad i love them sm!!#every night i hope to wake up somewhere else in a pretty fairytale <33#im sure it’ll happen someday!!#sometimes im so sure itll happen the next day but it hasn’t yet…#i believe in magic and miracles#but sometimes the constant negativity of my home weighs me down so much :((#i know i just have to keep believing to escape!!#maybe my hope isn’t strong enough yet but i know it will be someday!!#ik id one day wake up in a cute life <3#i try so hard to be happy here but ughh sometimes i need to rant#daphnie rambles 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
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*JWCT SPOILERS BELOW*
extremely messy live reaction
watched ep 1 from the roblox thing and didn't live react so
ep 2:
BEN GET UR EYES ON THE ROAD
ben eating out of a boot what is wrong with him
this whole van scene is fucking hilarious
BEN BROOKLYNN MEMORIES?? ON A ROOFTOP???
gonna make me cry on ep 2 I see how it is
darius just being overall disgusted with bens lifestyle I'm drying
"benjamin if you don't pull over I'm jumping out of your moving van is that what you want"
"is your friend ok?" "no 🙂"
USING THEY THEM PRONOUNS AS A DEFAULT HELL YEAH
ben has brown eyes at 17 mins
the roadtrip vibes are immaculate once u get past all the conspiracy stuff
why are these 2 licorice fanatics I hate them sm (affectionate)
ep 3:
"that is not at all what Hay smells like. have you never been around Hay before?" I'm obsessed with the dialogue
SAMMY HAVING AN ESTRANGED RELATIONSHIP WITH HER PARWNTS HUH????
"why are we running? we do not have a good track record with running!"
BUMPY CHASIMG BUTTERFLIES MY BABYGITL
she still picks him up 😭😭
mantah corp island investigation hmmm..
"that destructive carnivore" DONT SPEAK ABOUT MY DAIGHTER LIKE THAT
ANOTHER BROOKLYNN MEMORY KILL ME NOW
is that the fuckimg pink jakcet
sammy holding thr box with no effort anf bens big ass almost dropping it
why is so much happening in Sammy's life I wanna give her a hug
"he's getting more than a mud pie! he's getting a knuckle sandwich!" "You kiss your mother with that mouth?"
OH SHIT CARLS DEAD
now sammy has blue eyes wtf
damn that atrocitaptor really hates pies
SAMMY RUN GIRL
bumpy basically telling ben to leave omfg 💔
do his eyes ever stay on thr road
the hug 😭😭
THE BROOKLYNN CONSPIRACY BEGINS
MYSTERY WHISTLE PERSPN
Ep 4:
this eps called "brothers" time to cry
darius mocking ben I love him
"she's fine 😌" "I'm not fine!"
ben calling bumpy a "strokg independent woman" " strange thing to say but ok"
TWO BENJAMIMS??
BEN HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOOPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
fuxk this
"she lives in.. europe?" he met her on that fucking conspiracy site didn't he
THE ALLOSAURUS
ben u eat food out of a boot u cannot talk ab kenjis place like that
"were not exactly on speaking terms" WHEN ARE YOU EVER
did kenji fucking shrink why does he seem so small
HE SHUT THE DOOR ON DAROUS STOP
THE STICKERS 😭😭
"this is. really something kenj!"
THE FANILY PHOTO IM GONNA SOBBBB
oh good lord the tension
"that's where my dad lives" OH FUCK
"I think we should split up" "you and yaz?!" TJE DISTRESS IN HIS FACE
his hand on his heart for the rest of the conversation he would've been more hurt by a breakup then they wouldve omfg
sammy tickle attacking ben THE FACT THAT SHE KNEW IT WOUD WORK
kenji masterfully climbing while darius is fighting for his life trying to put the gear on
WHY ARE THEY FIGHTIJG ON A MOUTNAIN SIDE
KENJI DUMPED BROOKLYNN?? OMG??
ANOTHER MEMORY
"I can't be with you anymore if you're not going to be with me" 😭😭😭
OH HES CRYING
ope kenj I saw that smile
KENJI AGREED TO SEE HIS DAD THE ANGSSTSTTSTSTST
NOOO THEY GOT BUMPY
ep 5:
WHY IS SO KUCH HAPPENING AROUMD THIS SANDWICH
WHY IS IT EVEN IN THE ROAD LIKE THAT
"that bush looks like ben" what does that even mean darius
KENJI CALLIMG DARIUS' MOM EVERY WEEK HE LOVES HER SM
I love this relationship ben and sammy have they're acting sm like siblings
ANOTHER BENJAMIN
HE STILL EATS CAROB
ben and sammy being dino activists ik that's rihht
mr king dino they could beat ur ass
FUCK YOU DANIEL STOP LOOKIMG HAPPY
THIS MAN TRYING TO LOOK GUILTY STFU
"did you have brooklynn killed?" straight to the point ok
"worried what?? that I'd double cross ya??" WHAT WAS ON THAT STICKY NOTE
BEN PUTTING SAMMY AS A SUSPECT?? ID BE PISSED TOO
he can't say the right thing to save his life
DANIEL TEYING TO KEEP SECRETS I VATE HIM
"just never had a father around to practice with" YEAH YOU GET HIM KENJI
NAH WHATS HE GOT PLANNED
"yeah ok I'll get my violin" kenji ily
NAH DANIELS STILL A SNAKE DONT TRUST HIM KENJI
sammy and ben causing mass destruction without meaning too hold habits die hard ig
YEAH SAMMY BEAT THAT MAN
bens list of loyal and amazing friends:
1) bumpy
2) corndogs
3) his van
DINO KING IS SUSPICIOUS?????
4) sammy
"he's just so!" "graah?" "yes! yes! exactly"
THE BROTHERS ARE COMMUNICSTIJG YEAAAHH
oh God I hope kenji has a backstabbing plan with this agreement
"I won't let you control me anymore" YEAH KENJI WALK AWAY
NUH UH YOU DO NOT GET TO LOOK SAD DANIEL YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF
"there was something about her that was different. almost dangerous" I am taking everything be says with a grain of salt but things are getting so suspicious??
OH SHIT ANOTHER DEAD GUY
LET 👏 HIM 👏 DIE 👏
THE WHISTLE AGAIN
what in the goddamn green earth is that woman
daniel u may have saved kenji but I still don't like u
THEY KILLED DANIEL WE ALL CHEERED
she seems so robotic I'm terrified
now who is this
not him speaking Japanese 😭 he needs a hug so bad
ep 6:
YAZ I MISSED YOU
her ptsd is hurting her so much omfg
ANOTHER BROOKLYNN MEMORY
moment of respect for the outfit changes in the memories
brooklynn got yaz into dino immersion therapy 😭
these memories are killing me man am I allowed to stop cryjng
SAMMYS CONTACT PHOTO 🫶🫶
BEN LIKES ROCK MUSIC CALLED IT
WHATS HE DOIN THE BG
"we haven't really talked much lately" does ANYONR have a good relationship in this show
"It'll be good for you two to reconnect"
"yeah.. I hope so" IT WILL BE SAMMY IT HAS TO BE
the gfs are still healthy all it good all it well in the world
"no dinosaurs?" "judging by the look of that thing I'd say we have one now"
oh sammy really is treating her like a fragile flower
I already watched this scene in the released clip but bens scream is somehow even more funny
ben still callimg her fadoula I love their relationship
THE GIRLF ARE FIGHTIJG NO
"girlfriend?" "why does everyone act so surprised when insay that" bc u are gay
I feel so bad for all these people like imagine dinos get into the place ur promised they won't be
OH THAT AINT DPW OH SHIT OH FUCK
IVE BEEN WANTING TO SEE THE AFTERMATH OF THE VAN GOING OFF THE BRIDGE YEAH
off topic but I am obsessed with the end credit cards
ep 7
the ep is called "that night" I am in fear
oh that's the moment sammy saw how much yaz has grown calling it now
I feel so bad for kenji rn hes in so much pain :((
he's probably so conflicted rn. daniel only ever hurt him but he's all kenji knows as his dad
THE HUG THE HUG THE HUGGGGG
"I'd be dead if it wasn't for her!" what do you know mateo WHAT DO YOU KNOW
"it was there on purpose" AAAAAAHHHH I mean we knew but AAAAAAHHHHHHHH
HEY DONT DO THE HOPELESS MHSIC WHILE THEYRE TRAPPEDBIN THE VAN I DONT LIKE WHAT IT INDICATES
"I can't have the last thing I see be bens soggy van!"
YEE HAW THEY GOT OUT
MATEOS STORY WOO HOO TIME TO GET SOME GAPS FILLED IN AND SOME ANDWERS QUESTIONED
oh shoot did he accidentally help the bad guys
now why would he get out ofbthe truck in such suspicious circumstances
WE HAD TO SEE HER DIE FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE ARE YOU KIDDING ME ?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?
OH HE TOOK THE PHONE
THEY SWITCHED SCENES BEFORE WE COULD SEEBWHAT WAS ON THE PHONE AVAAAHAHAH
oh wow the wet hair animation is so much better omg
GIRLCEIEND MOMENT GIRLFRIEND MOMENT
"I guess we need each other huh" *makes out*
them having their moment while bens grieving his baby
"ciao cara mia" I hate him
BROOK HAD A SECRET HOUSE
kenjis night just keeps getting worse
bros been DYING to throw those phones
"oh I am so gonna haunt them from beyond the grave" never change yaz
where on earth are they gonna hide on that truck
mateo seemed like a decent guy hope all goes well for him
her apartment was cute asf ok brooklynn
DID YALL SEE THE MOTORCYCLE HELMETS ?????????????? YEAH BROOK U WERE THAT GIRL
kenji stop reminiscing ur gonna make me cry
THE BROS ARE BONDING THEYRE GETTING ALOMG
KENJI WHAT DO U SEE
darius putting all the pieces together is so rad bc I sure am not
A SUSPICIOUS BAG OF MONEY???? IN HER CLOSET??? BFOOK GIRL WHAT WERE U A PART OF
SHE WAS WPRKING WITH DANUEL SHE WAS WHAT WHAJAJDHSLAJHFJSLAJD
I hope she was doing it for an investigative purpose SHE BETTER HAVE BEEN
but why didn't Daniel bring it up HMmmmmm...
"or what else she was hiding from us" OH HES HURT HURT
darius driving the motorcycle instead of kenji I'm cackling
ep 8:
THEY HID WITH THE SEDATWD DINO ARE THEY INSANE
not the dino smacking rhe lips it doesn't have
now why is she gonna stand on the dino instead of getting bens giant self to look out the gap
the drop is gonna be how they reunite isn't it
kenji screaming bc of a spider he's so real
THEYRE BEINF BROTJERS YEAH WERE SO BACK BABY
oh so they're working for extra cash too hmm
oh this place actually looks nice
VIDEO MEMORIES IM GONNA SOB
I am sufficiently uncomfortable thanks for asking darius
the boys are fighting again JUST VET ALOMG PLEASE
darius misses her so much seeing a bird made him think of her 😭😭
lookimg at the dates on the voicemails it's been at least 3 months since she died
DARIUS IN BATHTUB I laughed this is supposed to be sad and I laughed
I sense something big coming I gotta walk around for a bit
"I was in love with brooklynn" OH FUCK OH SHITNOH AJAHDKLAQKHFLAKHFKLAL
now I REALLY have to walk around for bc WHAT
WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WJAT WJATBQKHRLAJFLAHSLALKFHAL AAAAHAAHAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
rewatched the scene and I am no more sane ab it
BEN THIEVING ABILITIES MAKING A COMEBACN HELL YEAH
NAH WHATD THEY DOBTO BUMPY THEY BETTER NOT HURT MY GIRL
"boo." Yaz ily
THE VIDEO THE VUDEO AAAAAAAAAAAA
"were brothers righr?" HE SAID IT HE SAID IT WE WIN
every single moment with these 2 is so painful how am I supposed to exist in these conditons
WHAT DID THEY DO TO BUMPY WHAT DID THEY DO TO HER
THE GFS SAY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️❤️
THE DINOS JUST CHILLING INSTEAD OF STAMPEDING
YES QUEEN DINO U KILL THE MAN THAT TORTURED YOU
love the steggos just watching everything
yaz was smart with the lights u go girl
my heart is genuinely pounding for bumpy I am too attached to this fictional dinosaur
avocado costume?????? girls be fr
KENJI AND DARIUS ARE HERE TOO??
DARIUS IS GONNA FREE THAT BABY I KNOW HE IS
I hope the sino causes chaos later
"with me by your side, you kon climb anything too"
YEAH THE SINOS CAUSING CHAOS WOO HOO
"bumpy.. are you dying?" NUH UH BEN DONT SAY THAT NOPE
ALL THE CRYING SCENES THEY GOTTA STOP
kenji doing everything with graceful agility vs darius and his childlike experience
sammy kicking kenji TWICE now
TWO HUGS?? IN A ROW?? IM FED
the hugs are so much more natural in this series the animation improvement is insane
"creepy micro bangs'" that is a fantastic description kenji
THE ALLOSAURUS AGAIN
sammy being bumpys other parent 🫶
istg I'm already cryjng
if they kill bumpy idk what'll happen
bumpy is genuinely a part of their family they are completely falling apart rn
"move her tail!" IS SHE ABOUT TO LAY AN EHG
BUMPYS A MOM????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!???@?!?!?!?!?!?!??
them passing the egg around like a baby in a hospital such a proud family
"wait what?" "don't think about it bud"
"ben! you're gonna be a grandpa!" glad they also see her as his daughter
NAH THE GUY I FORG9T THE NAME OFNIS EVIL
ep 10:
LAST EPUSOXE ALREADY??????
cabrera thats his name
YEAH SAMMY BEAT HIS ASS U GO GIRL
NAH FREAKY BOB LADYS BACK
she is genuinely somebhorror movie shitnor something
that scene was genuinely so intense I completely froze
EHOS DRIVING THE TRUCK
MATEO MY MAN I KNEW YOUNWERE GOOD
THE DINOSBARE GOING FREE BEAUTIFUL GEORGOUS THROWUNG BOUQUETS
obsessed with the shot of the t Rex in front ofbthe explosion hell yeag
"leave my girl alone!" SCREAM IT YAZ
DARIUS FREEING THE ALLOSAURUS I SMELL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
WAS THAT BUMPYS EGG IN THAT CASE
about time this man died
creepy lady is actually super pretty I hate that she's evil and kinda insane
darius finally stopped blaming himself 😭
"my guy. you're still here?" "unfortunately yeah. you all get real vulnerable with each other. it's weird" I'm dying
FUCK DUXK A AKHDLAKWYAPAHHFLAHWLAK
BROOKLYNNNANNAMANANNN
OH MY GODBOHNMYNGOD SHES SYDNEY GUYS SHE FUCKIMG SYDNEY ITS FUCKIKG BROOKLYNN AKSHALAKQLLQKDJALJFL
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJKALAFJAJ
#did not go thru and read back over this before posting bc i currently am actually insane#you can actually see my mental state slowly deteriorating as this goes on#jurassic world chaos theory#chaos theory#jurassic world camp cretaceous#camp cretaceous#jwct spoilers#chaos theory spoilers#c posts
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PART TWO BABEYYY
Working my way thru the headcanons!!! (Copy and pasted reactions from my notes app)
fanart of today!!
CHAT I JUST REALIZED TUMBLR ARCHIVES EXIST I DONT HAVE TO SCROLL FOR TWO MINUTES TO REACH THE BOTTOM OF THE BLOG OMG
“How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb”
None bc you’re all orphans 😭😭
TWERKING JUNIOR IS A SIGHT I WILL NEVER MENTALLY UNSEE
“I’ll do a thing” kick flip on an invisible skateboard
No wait bc the meme (Mr incredible helping Dash w/ homework) is funnily accurate bc 1- the glasses. 2- Junior actually did track and field or something idk, I don’t know sports
UGH IMAGINE THE ANGST! Devon and Jake being little detectives and trying their hardest to find Junior. Devon w/ the board of red string and multiple tabs open just TRYING. Both of them. But Lexy, at a point, gets tired. She wants to put this to rest, put Junior to rest. She’s grieving and (in her eyes) they’re making it like some missing person’s show.
Glad Glenny :3
THIS IS SO SAD. Omg I love ur writing sm Luna, like I could imagine Junior maybe shaking a bit (getting anxious) whenever he gets hurt bc his dad would always yell and blame Junior for the smallest injury or sickness.
I think Lexy and Glenda would def speed and run every red light with the hood of the They/Them car down
Ok listen Luna I love you so much (platonically and /j) but WHY DO YOU KEEP MAKING SUCH SAD HEADCANONS. LIKE JUNIOR HAVING NIGHTMARES ABOUT HIS DAD WAAAAH
Anyways, while I take a reading break. Do you guys wanna hear my sad Nica headcanon or my maybe controversial Glenda headcanon?
GYMNASTICS JUNIOR!!! I’m so totally drawing him
I GINISHED ALL OF AUGUST!!!! I read a few of them out of order but shhh
“murder is wrong… unless it’s Logan.”
Luna, Eloise pleaseeee I can’t handle anymore sickeningly sweet headcanons.
OR THE SAD ONES WAAAAAAA
Live Kingston reaction w/ my possessed toy Chucky oc
@nicascurls @barclaysangel @fairchilds-glasses @high-functioning-fang1rl (please tell me if I forgot anyone 😭 I’m really forgetful)
#king's paintbrush#chucky#andy barclay#junior wheeler#breaking the dollhouse#childs play#chucky series#fanfic#I love it so much btw#All with love#Like man yall are so creative
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omggg that made me think of something else that kinda gets me with these sorts of timeline reset things, i dont wanna ramble too much but theres this fangame i played for jojo that kinda has that sort of thing going on and it made me think of it aaaa (also i need to read those webtoons now im really interested sdflkjdsfklj)
so like while i was also imagining that cove wasnt really able to remember much about the previous timeline after the reset, i thought well, what if there was something left behind from it and cove didnt know or understand what it was until after meeting the og mc in the new timeline like after the whole wedding thing
like maybe in the og timeline cove and mc had made friendship bracelets or something when they were little and had a matching set (or maybe its the matching friendship shells you can have with cove if you decide to hang out on the beach with him instead of surfing in step 2 aaaa) in the new timeline cove wakes up with that in his hand the morning before him and his dad are taking the drive to sunset bird. he doesnt know what it is and is confused by it, maybe he just shoves it in his pocket or it ends up in a box and he just eventually forgets about it
he doesnt remember the bracelet/the shells in the blurry dreams he had about the original mc or anything and he only remembers it when he sees the matching one that mc has like on their desk or just resting on a table or maybe even theyre wearing it if its the bracelet and it just makes things click even more and the feelings just like hit him like a truck
aaaaaa asdklfja we are getting too powerful and i hope that my rambling makes sense, if it doesnt i will try again but aaaaaa my brain worms are increasing so much - 🕑
NO IT MAKES SM SENSE
im the jumbled one i only got like 3-4 hours sleep but im like losing my shit n wanting to create art n write things n yeah dw you make sm sense omg omg omg
I LOVEEE THE BRACELET/SHELL THING TOO!!! and he and mc!1 don't have those kinds of the things at all. or at least a variant of some sort
i imagine mc 1 and 2 are polar opposites. whereas mc!1 is more selfish/is the leader (think like ol2 mechanics n how they have the relationship status system/whatever yk?), mc!2 can still be a leader ofc, but theyre more selfless or at least always reaching out for cove
mc!1 is always searching for something else, somewhere else, someone else.
whereas mc!2 always turns around and waits for cove, goes to cove, brings cove with them. they always make a place for cove, where usually cove would make himself a place with mc!1
okay i swear imma write it, im like in a bit of a funk rn lol but i was thinking mc!1 (who i will call jamie for the sake of it and mc!2 will just be mc), sees cove with MC while they're visiting his parents.
(also i think that if mom's take back jamie, cliff would go out of his way to visit you guys/him instead so that way cove won't hurt. i imagine he might even move bc it hurts him as well ANYWAY THATS OFF TRACK THO)
and they end up talking somehow, maybe ending up on poppy hill at the right time (as much as it hurts bc poppy hill+white poppies would be ruined for cove after this, i think it'd bring him closure n he could get over it)
and i really would like to tell you jamie has regret. i thought they did n i would've written it like so, with jamie having a bit of longing for cove since they see him shining so brightly now that things have happened like this
i would also say that they love baxter still out of obligation because they ruined their life for him, i would also say that they could end up divorcing bc jamie longs for cove/their life before, but to that i offer: baxter staying and ignoring their yearning because this is all he thinks he can ever have...
BUT NOW. WHAT I AM VERY SWAYED TO WRITE INSTEAD BC !!!!
jamie isn't guilty. they love baxter so much, the only shame and guilt they have is for involving cove because now their family is distant and jamie hates that.
not just because they miss their family, in fact i imagine jamie would even tell someone they're overreacting, that they need to get out of their business, etc.. but they regret it because they can't give baxter a happy family, and they see how baxter regrets it so and will even express it bc he didn't want you no/low contact with your family, especially your lovely parents and sister, like he is.
jamie has enough humility to admit that they wish they didn't hurt cove, because he's such a good guy and he deserves better. but now he's happy, so they have no regrets.
i think jamie being this selfish would Kill cove. bc how could they say that?
whereas jamie being guilty would make him sad, but its basically entirely pity for jamie. because they went through all that and they still want more, they want something else after everything they did?
cove would be so upset bc he was just a placeholder until they got what they wanted every time, slipping off jamie's list of important/treasured people with every day that went by growing up...
n he'd go cry to MC, distraught by the cruelty, but glad he didn't marry jamie in the end and he doesn't go into a funk afterwards, he's moved on and the coldness from jamie just helps him move on from everything
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OH GOD ITS THIS CHAPTER (5) OH GOD OH FUCKSHFKGKF
I remember this chapter caught me SO OFF guard, i wasnt expecting the angst to be so intense /pos goddd this chapter is so good
Another eerie parallel of hats and my life is my aunt gifted me tarot cards, and we spoke a lot about tarot when i went to visit her, wild
Apparently her mom used to do tarot but then she predicted her best friend's death so she stopped 🧍♂️ LIKE??!?! MY AUNT JUST DROPPED THAT ON ME AND CHANGED THE TOPIC LIKE HELLOOO GO BACK WDYM UR MOM PREDICTED SOMEONES DEATH?!??!?@?
Shits wild, she ALSO told me some hella spooky irl ghost stories
Also lmfao i love hats tubbo sm, hes so iconic
I LOVE WILBUR SO MUCH
HES SUCHHHH AN OLDER BROTHER SOBS CRIES WAILS
SCREAMS
*SCREAMS*
I FORGOT HE ALMOST SLIPS UP OHMYGOD OHGMDYDOHGKDYFI
OIHDHDJDJD
HE LOVES HIM SO MUCH:(( HE LOVES HIM SOOOO MUCH BROISHFODUEOF 😭😭😭 THIS FIC MAKES ME SO ILL MAN SO ILL
It is crazy how accurate tarot can get like bruh... whenever i do it the cards themselves align with each other so well, to the point where sometimes they'll literally say the same thing 😭 out of the 60 plus cards in my deck i somehow chose the two that say the same thing, wild (i dont have an exact tarot deck, it's a spiritual oracle one but still cool :D
EUEUEUEU i love thr reading sm
I love how immediately after the cards call tommy out for not talking to Phil, he runs into him 😭😭 its so funny i love it sm
HEJRKFIGJDGEKFJFJDD OHMYGOD WE'RE AT THE SCENE OHMYGODDHDKGKF
I remember being so jumpscared by the amount of adrenaline this scene gave me like ??? Bro its a slice of life movie, Why do i feel like im fearing for my LIFE /pos THE ADRENALINE IS SO MUCH FUN I LOVE THIS SCENE SO MUCH ITS SOOFOGOSJGKGK AAAAA ABDKGKGNDKDJKGKGMFBRJGNFNFKGMNF I CANT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS FIC
THIS IS SO AWKWARD [SCREAMS] OHMYGODDD
I love tubbo:( all of them are so supportive
This is the most fucking awkward conversation 😭😭
GODDD I CANTTT HE WIDPFIFKF THE MISCOMMUNICATION HURTS SJFOGIGJTN AAAAA SOBSSS
Wilbur caLLED PHIL DAD OHMYGOD NOBODY MOVE BEE SANDDUO OHMGYFOHMGYDPHLHUDHSFODIAHEFODUODFJKFKDJEOTJDJFKGKF IM SO WEAK AND FRAIL AAAAAAA
SGFKFUSORHSKFJJFJDB ABDKAVJRBSJDBSKSBRKSN
SLAMS FIST ON DESK
CRIMEBOYS
THEYRJEOSOSOSUDKSDIFJFK THEYRE A9DOOOSODJFDLFJ I CANT I CANT OHMUGODUDHDOWHRIDJ
HES SOOOO FOND OHMYGOD
Tommys such a little shit shfkgkfkf a clever one but still shfkgkglf
THIS FIC IS SO GOOODOFJFLGKDHSJFKF
THE HUG, IM SCREAMING
God i am not ready for the next few chapters
LMAO ngl I don't know how your aunt's mom could've predicted someones death when that's not really what tarot does (at least to my knowledge) but uhh idk I don't do it myself so who knows
tangerines crimeboys make me so ill you dont understand aaaaa wilbur wants to be a supportive older brother but also doesn't wanna push too hard and make tommy uncomfortable bc tommy was so young the last time they were siblings and just gahhh
I'm actually very much a skeptic of all those kinds of things tarot included, and I view tarot as more of a self reflective tool than anything else, but yeah it can definitely feel scarily accurate at times. the few times friends have done readings for me sometimes they say something insanely close to what i'm dealing with in my life and I'm just like OH
lol yeah ngl I was like "do I really want them to run into phil right after this tarot card reading" but I didn't want to put it off for another chapter bc the setup was just too convenient so I was like oh well it'll be plot convenience
it was SUCH an awkward conversation god all the interactions between tommy and phil in this fic are so tense
crimeboys <333 tommy using being drunk as an excuse to get a hug we love to see it
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vent post
tw: queerphobia, religion, depression, offing
pls help me and dw im not depressed or officidal anymore
////
grace culture is being tired of constantly having to hide lgbt stuff (especially this tumblr) from your parents bc theu will lecture you abt how I should hide this stuff
their only reasoning is bc you dont see straight ppl do it
UGH I wish they would actually listen to why! I told my dad and he dismissed it and my mom, i dont remember. I love them sm and im sick of this strain. im done with constantly having to hide in fear of them
like they literally cried when i tried getting a chest binder after they said no (this was literally the most dysphoric point of my life ever and I told them tht and they were just like "well u need to love urself more").
I love being a teen but I srsly cant wait till I get out so I can actually do these things and live how I want to. I have good morals and a good heart so ill be fine.
Mom thinks I'm getting too lost in society, yet thtis same society wants me dead and in hell. Like what???? I told her abt the antimtrans kaws being all over the us and stuff and she said "well what does tht have to do with you?"
IM TRANS, SOME MY FRIENDS ARE TRANS.
Not only tht but human rights should NEVER be repealed! And then she went on and on abt how she helped this person and how she sees herself in me.
Since this is how you are treating an extremely marginalized community, I dont want you in me. I love you and dad so much but I just cant do this anymore. I'm tired of lying and hsving to sit through your speeches abt how I should keep lgbt stuff private bc they would like me to do tht and society may hate it in the future (it already does). I'm tired of lying abt how I agree with you when I completely dont. I'm tired of you saying tht "well God loves everyone" when you really arent acting like tht, actually live your life and truly show His love to everyone you meet.
My dad is the same way execept he's not Christisn (he's Muslim but he doesnt go to mosque) and he looks down on gay/trans ppl bc so much of us have bad mental health. hmm I wonder why?? Its the same thing with Black ppl and other POCs so what are you talking abt?? We're Black so we should know how the other feels! And you're a doctor so you should stop this prejudiced nonsense, please.
I want to actually be able to talk to my parents abt anything and everything and be able to be me. I wish tht I didnt just have God and my friends, but my parents too! I wish tht they actually supported me with this stuff bc all theyre doing is hurting me! They say they love me but when I asked my mom to please use she/they (this was when i was thinking tht i was a demigirl and used she/they), she said "uhh no" and ignored it. only my friends helped. When I told my mom tht I wanted a chest binder, she said "what if its too dangerous and hurts your boobs?". I did research and proved her wrong but she still said no!
srry for the long vent but im just so tired of this. Last night, my mom looked at an image I sent to my brother and friends
this one ^
and she lectured me abt the gay emo pride thing. WHY DOES SHE CARE SM?
For someone who's like "well nobody cares tht youre gay", you care quite a bit. Stop trying to convince me into liking or dating guys and stop trying to force me to not speak abt smth im passionate abt.
"well you havent rlly developed an attraction to guys"
duh obviously, bc I DONT WANNA DATE THEM! Guys are cool as heck and I'd be their best friend but not their gf!
You and dad think im doing this for attention but my entire life, I didnt care abt tht. Even when I was a toddler, I didnt care and made sure you knew! Dont you know me better? You pride me in being your first and being your daughter and you love me alot but if you truly love me, please stop doing this. I wanted to off myself and I was depressed bc of this. You're lucky tht I have a strong relationship with God bc He was the reason I didnt. He gave me wonderful friends and He comforted me through His word.
At the same time, Im afraid to even tell mom and dad this bc I know they'll be absolutely heartbroken and will cry a LOT bc of this. I dont wanna see them cry again bc when I did, I felt like it was all my fault and yeah. I have no clue what to do other than keep this a secret from them until the day I die. And after tht I dont want them to go to hell bc queerphobia goes against all God stands for.
pls help
srry for the long post but ive been holding this back forever. This has gone on for 2 years
#vent post#tw queerphobia#tw queerphobes#lgbt discrimination#queer kids#help please#this is a cry for help#mogai#queer#queer issues#black lgbt#black nonbinary#black xenogender#poc mogai#liom#mogai safe#tumblr
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mysme - webtoon au
so i read the webtoon and while it was very cute and i liked it a lot, it still left something to be desired in me… well, a lot to be desired tbh….. so ofc i had it in my head that i wanna fix it! hooray!!
so like basically, it was mysme if u took out all the superdramatic [and unrealistic] elements like no rika being secretly alive, no mint eye, no bomb, NO SAERAN [we’ll get to that] and like the party happened in like a month which still is a really short time to prepare a party of that scale but still it's not 7 days, and she got to see them all in person and work in an office in C&R instead of being trapped in rika’s apartment… like a lot of the elements were still there but no explanation? like the only way u would know these things are if u are VERY familiar with the game lol like rika still hurt v’s eyes, no one was allowed to go to rika’s apartment, v was just absent for p much no reason, in the flashback of saeyoung’s life, u saw rika and v but they didn’t explain what happened ALSO I JUST REALIZED I DONT THINK THEY EVER REFER TO HIM AS SAEYOUNG IN THE COMIC…. just seven or luciel…. what the fuck…..
SO anyway, once again i like to fix things so like … i wanna take the best of both worlds, from the game and from the webtoon… i want to bring back SAERAN BC WTF HOW CAN U TAKE MY TRAGIC TWINS AWAY FROM ME I LOVE THAT SHIT!!!! SM!!! so like i think… it won’t be about mint eye being a cult but i think saeran should be the architect of the whole thing and like… rika did actually kill herself [ im sad :^( ] and everyone dealing with that how she wasn’t a perfect person bc she did abuse v and saeran, acknowledge that yes she had her own horrific trauma but that doesn’t erase or excuse the terrible things she did to others bc of said trauma… and also.. oh god i just had an idea to make it like the joker [a movie i haven't even seen] in that the twins’ mom told them that their dad was the prime minister or whatever and that he wanted to kill them but in reality, it's not fucking true it was just her way of keeping them in the house and with her ALSO RIKA DIDN’T KILL HER WTF they were taken away idk by the state? whatever and were placed in an orphanage or w/e and got separated somehow idk there’s still a lot of details to work out but he does end up in rika’s care… somehow.... like i said details but thats p much what i wanna write about… i want them all to get better lives and no one else has to die :^) so yeah a little bit of kdrama sprinkled in bc who doesn’t love at least a little drama…
well… if i REALLY wanted to go the kdrama route, the webtoon already set up the love triangle for me with hana having a crush on zen initially but ending up with seven anyway AND YEAH WAIT THAT BUGGED TF OUTTA ME how it was just kinda at the end hana was like “oh ig i've liked him this whole time” but I DIDNT SEE IT!! WHERE’S MY PRESUMED UNREQUITED BUT ACTUALLY MUTUAL PINING DAMN IT GUH whatever im not bitter...
#anyway i have feelings#mystic messenger#invitation of the mystic messenger#listen i have a lot to complain about but i rly rly liked it#the art was so cute and it was so funny#and it was really nostalgic revisiting these characters like 4 years l8r
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Headcanons for being Diego Hargreeves’ child
Diego Hargreeves x child!reader
warnings: knifes, blood, guns, death mentions, mental hospital
a/n:
prompt: anonymous: “Hi! Could you please write a “The Umbrella Academy” Diego Hargreeves x daughter reader headcanon? I always think Diego is such a overprotective softie dad ♥️♥️”
deigo really said “?????”
how dad
but also he’d just the most loving dad anyone could ever ask for
✨it’s because he was never loved by his dad✨
“hi cutie, i love you, i love you, i love youuuuu”
he locked away all his weapons so that you couldn’t hurt yourself on them
but he always missed a few and he’d turn around and see you holding throwing knives and just FREAK OUT
“no, no, no, you may not have those! knives are for big boys like me, not babies”
“give back”
“‘give back?’ are you nuts?”
diego has conversations with lil you as if you know what the fuck he means dhshshhshs
as you got older, you became more interested in his “career”
“no, i dont care if you have powers or not! you have a bedtime, that means no vigilantism, you hear me?”
“if i say ‘no’ can i be a vigilante?”
“you know what? how about you clean up the gym for al so he doesn’t evict us?”
you did not sign up for this
you really wanted to meet your aunts and uncles, but you weren’t exactly sure they knew about you
i mean, you knew you had a cousin but everyone knew about her because aunt allison was a goshdarn celebrity
“dad, i want to meet the family!”
“no you don’t”
end of discussion
despite having a bedtime, you still watched movies late at night with your dad
he really liked marvel movies
“come on, that would never happen!”
“you come from a family of superpowered kids, a robot mom, and a monkey, and you’re upset about...a guy that shoots arrows?”
“maybe i am, what’re you gonna do about it?”
you ask about umbrella academy stories a lot, you your dad usually makes it about him
“and then i punched that guy in the face! and then i stabbed him in the leg because he was a dick! bet you’re friend’s dads arent as cool as me”
*yawning bc you’ve heard this story a million times*
you go to public school
you do have your dad’s last name
which occasionally gets recognized
“woah! wasn’t your dad a superhero?”
“i have no idea what youre talking about” :)
practicing your knife throwing while diego is away, him coming home to find his knifes stuck through various targets
so proud but he had to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself
you actually had to learn how to patch him up because he did come home a bit battered and bruised several times
“im okay, y/n. no need to freak”
“dad, there is literally blood dripping on the floor will you just sit down and stay still for five goddamn minutes?”
“woah, who the fuck taught you to cuss?”
watching the news at home when your grandfather was reportedly dead
you were actually very upset because you wanted to meet him so bad
even if he was a dick
your dad came home silent and you knew he knew
“you okay?”
“oh, yeah, im better than okay!”
finally getting the chance to meet your family
“who are you?” -allison
“im, uh, y/n. diego is my dad”
*jaw dropping*
and you know what? that happened four more times (plus ben but you didn’t get to see that)
“and you are?” -luther
“who’s the...the little one?” -klaus
“well, what do you know? diego’s a dad” -five
“don’t tell me that’s...no way” -ben
“you’re diego’s? wow, i can’t believe he didn’t tell anyone” -vanya
“i...i know who all of you are” -you
diego bragging about how perfect you are while everyone simultaneously rolls their eyes
“well, y/n, maybe one day we’ll schedule a playdate for you and claire” -allison
“‘playdate?’ how old do you think i am?...but yes i wanna meet her”
“god, you’re so much like diego, it’s unsettling”
you had been secretly training at al’s gym during your dad’s late night activities
so when trouble came your way, you were able to handle yourself pretty well
“where the hell did you learn that?”
“al showed me a few moves!”
“that old man? you’re kidding”
you met your grandmother, grace, who was tasked with keeping you safe at all times
you actually loved her sm
but there was something a bit off about her
besided the fact she was a robot
klaus snuck you out so that you two could have BoNdInG tImE
it wasn’t all bad
ben was a lil choked up that he got to meet one of his niblings
“they’re perfect”
“they just stabbed someone, buddy”
“who are you talking to?”
FIVE EVEN SCHEMED WITH YOU
“okay, y/n, i need you to curve something when i throw it, got that? right at that security guard”
“what are you throwing?”
“you’ll know when you see it, make your uncle five proud”
“IS THAT A GUN”
<3 family
running into patch!!
“hey, kid, i just saw your dad. i thought i told you to handcuff him to the radiator when you were away?”
“yeah, well, he wouldve chewed his hand off so here we are”
that was the last time you saw her :/
well, your dad was now a wanted man
“what happened to your arm?”
“no”
you actually didn’t expect this family reunion to go south like this
wait—yes you did
vanya has powers????
“i thought vanya was the one without powers?”
“yeah. so did we.”
diego straight up did not want you anywhere near that
but you, again, were his child and also fuck authority you do what you want
the vibe is almost getting shot several times
by hazel, cha cha, and “commission” guys?
going 2 ur auntie’s concert 😌✨
“y/n, hide in the bathroom and stay there until i come get you”
“dad, i love you, but no”
“y/n, i love you too, but yes”
“no”
“yes”
“NO”
“YES”
you won
but in the end (or not so much) you time traveled to...1961?
without any of your family
“this is...this is not good”
understatement of the year(s)
what was a kid like you gonna do in dallas, texas in 1961
no seriously, what
it was rough, but you managed to survive on your own
and open a paper in 1963 to find a mugshot of your dad
“son of a—”
visiting dad! (two years later)
“y/n? oh my god, y/n! shit, i missed you so much! why do you look different? you’re bigger, oh god. how long have you been here?”
“2 years, dad. you?”
his hair was so LONG
“2 months”
“christ, that’s it?!”
“i have to stop jfk from being assassinated”
“what makes you think that’s a good idea???”
“its the right thing to do, wanna help?”
“shit, i guess. as long as i dont end up here”
“no promises, people in the 60’s are crazy”
diego: 👁👄👁
you: 👀
running into five on the street soon after
“uncle five?”
“no time to talk”
“okay, asshole? i’ve been here for 2 years and you dont care?”
“two years, huh? i spent 45 years in a post apocalyptic world as a 13 year old and beyond”
“i didn’t say it was a competition, dude. you kinda dropped us all at different times. at least, me and dad. he—”
“is trying to kill lee harvey oswald, i know. come with me”
finally running into your other aunts and uncles, who were so excited to see you
you ran into their arms and they picked you off the ground and you felt closer than ever after only knowing them for 10 days
dad broke out
lila too
“im your new mom!”
“you’re what?”
diego dragged you along with him almost everywhere
he had missed you so much, but he keeps forgetting you kinda grew up without him for a while longer
meeting grandpa :)
“a grandchild, huh? how unfortunate”
“bitch”
“what did you just call me?”
“a bitch.”
your dad and basically the entire table trying to hold back laughter
reggie was stunned
cold hearted just like him <3 he didn’t know if he was offended or proud
this is so confusing
diego just disappeared off the face of the earth
and assassins were on your case
“the goddamn swedes are back oh shittt im gonna die”
“y/n, just curve their bullets”
“it’s not as easy as it sounds, klaus!”
you were doomed
theres too much to go over
apparently you died on a farm????
and then you didn’t??????
and your dad was almost apart of the commission
“hey, you okay, y/n?”
“i would like to take a nap please”
“yeah, me too”
“me three!” -klaus
yeah it was never that simple 😌💕 the end
taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @cullens-stuff // @lotsoffandomrecs // @takethebladeawayfromme // @that-nerd-tessa // @teenwaywardasgardian // @spidergirla5 // @sheridans-dynamos // @freya-xo // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @jay-is-groovy // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @abbiesthings // @thereagles // @ofthedewthesunlight //
#diego hargreeves x reader#diego hargreeves imagine#diego hargreeves#umbrella academy x reader#umbrella academy#umbrella academy imagine#tua#tua imagine#tua x reader#diego hargreeves x child!reader#hargreeves!reader
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SPOILERS FOR 13 REASONS WHY SEASON 4 EPISODE 1: WINTER BREAK
i was high almost the whole time this is a reaction ig sjsjsjs
Clay is narratating baby boy
Who tf died?
I called it monty fucking lived I FUCKING *flips tables*
So winston shut the fuck up if alex fucking goes to jail 🔪🔪🔪
Monty is horrfying omfg also the way hes talking abt the racial system
period tell him clay
aYO WHAT THE FUCK CLAY??? Is monty alive???
Clay looks so good shut the fuck up everyone
Dylan Minette pls sir get in guts
Clay is going insane lowkey scared
I miss Ryan Shaver n Scott Reed, end post
CLAY PUT THE GLASS AWAY MF
clay is too pretty im-
i hope tyler is okay ;-;
They are dating iM IM SORRY????
i just realize wtf is sheri? Where has been😭
clay lowkey reminds of tony
Tyler :(
tyler and clays friendship>>>
"ass shoes" - jess
Shes MOVING????
"Clay-cray" "clazy" the way i wanna marry Jessica
The way im high as hell the monty illusions i hate em
Alex dad >>>>
The only cop i stan
quick break: black lives matter.
okay Tony serve the looks
Where has justin been
ZACH MY BOY I LITERALLY LOVE HIM
PLEASE SIR LET ME LOVE YOU
ohhhhh justin was OHHHH
Okay but im zach showing up eveeywhere high as hell
justin n clay >>>>
Matt >>>>
jess n justin >>>
god i love this show sm sm
WE BITCH WHO IS WE
tony = tylers mom
Zach n alex stay a million feet apart for no reason
wAIT THIS DUDE
did he replace scott where is scott fuck u
US??? BITCH YOUR NEW GO AWAY WHO IS US
cookies: stan
alex is so nervous
oMG TYLER N NEW GUY HAVE VEEN CHILLING
I love zachs vibes
AGAIN WHO TF IS WE ANI SHUT UP
oh new guys name is charlie sisjsj
oH MY
justin what ;-;
you know what you tell her honey :(
I feel you lowkey jess :(
mERRY CHIRSTMASSSSSS
oh no ;-;
iF ALEX IS BEIBG LINKED BACK TO THW MURDER BY THIS STUPID COP IMA MD RIOT
alex looks so good rn sir pls
everyone: alex dont say anything
alex: SO FUCK YOU-
why does bill looknso diifferent
winston: mourning over his bf :(
winston needs to stoo being weird
Justin n clay getting new phones so sweet
Clay looks so good in that pic ;-;
why does everyone look so goddamn goos in the season wtf
hEY QUICK MF QUESTION DOES CLAY FUCKING DIE 🔪
ani n jess would make good friends with Sheri :(
I am one of the few who does like ani ngl
Justin serves looks sir pls
i swear i lean toward women but yall 😭the men in this mf show
Clay quit being awkward
I want ani and jess to live together
she best see her mom every weekend
sHE SAID: HER CURFEW IS 5 MF 🔪
does ani not like clay????
Yall jess best not be starting a forest fire
I forgot ani and bryce were fucking
ani is thicc lowkey
Yall i have work im upset
Is that the same whisper sound from assassins creed
WTF JESS SEEING BRYCE SCARED ME JESUS
ayo what the fuck?
yes jessica you fucking tell him
wtf is metal detector gonna do bro
I hate boland anyways
wINSTON QUIT LOOKING SO MF SUS
Estella is so pretty
Who is she Jess??
What???
Im confused
Zach >>>>
zach breathes and im all "wow so hot"
is no one going to college???
wINSTON GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM TYLER 🔪🔪🔪🔪
you getting cut if you are mean to my boy
thank god for ani
Fuck winston this lil mf gives me the heebegeebes
justins going to college imnso proud
oh shit winston is fine tho
also wtf do you mean it can kill you ima mess this mf up
wHY DID JESS GO BACK WITH- ANI PLEASE SHUT UP
okay ani pls dont call clay out (she wants a knife to her face)
poor clay has to pretend hes okay for everyone else
Im tired of seeing monty beibg a creep
Ani: *whispers* clay no wait-
LEAVE ESTELLA ALONE PERIOD
fuck off yall bitches
yEAH CHARLIE YOU TELL HER
who the fuck ONG
RHATS MONTYS SISTER WTF
monty n hannah n bryce: haunts ppl
CLAY GO RUN UP ON THOSE MFS
yall mfs really wanna box HURT CLAY-
OMG CLAY IS SO HOT PUNCH THAT MF
ani n clay: know who killed bryce
Also ani: THEY DONT WANNA BELIEVE HE KILLED BRYCE
im sorry???
tell ani clay :(
wINSTON DONT FUCKING TOUCH TYLER I WILL WHOOP UR MF ASS 🔪🔪🔪🔪
zACH N ALEX ZACH N ALEX EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP
alex: worried abt alex
zach quit being mean to ur bf
zach is being so inconsiderate eat ass bro
HES GONNA TAKE ALEX OUT OKAY NVM I LOVE HIM
:( they still wont take them back annoying
justin dont-
Snitches get stitches end up in ditches qnd get no bitches bro you know the code
okay clay dont get all pissy bro
that was a weird transition
EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP IM LITERALLY I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES ITS SCOTT OH MY GOD MY BOY
i had no idea he was a senior why didnt they say that
oh ny god this explains the absence of ryan then ig but i miss scott more than anything ong
This confirms clays in love with scott i dont make the rules
LOOK AT HOW SWEET SCOTT IS BEING ONG EVERYONE I LOVE HIM FUCK
clays jeans >>>
i was expecting hannah tbh not ani
omg no clay :( u cant save everyone- it would have been more powerful coming from hannah lowkey disapointed
clay is finally getting help, proud
Clay looks so fine omg im sorry but he looks great
everyone in this seasn is looking so fine wtf
Winston is so pretty :(
he rlly liked monty my heart lowkey is broken
wHAT THE FUCK ZACH
the WAY ZAHC JUST SAVED ALEXS LIFE
WHAT THE FUCK
IM SO CONFUSED
HE JUST KISSED HIM
ZACH SHUT THE FUCK UP
no :(
Im going to sob
I have a feeling theyll kiss again and itll be on zachs volition
The anxiety i havfor alex
Also lowkey zach kissed back
the fucks i give ima write so many fics istg yall
brb ima go get high rq
they are gonna trace it all back to clay im so nervous
tyler best keep his mouth shut
Clay is so funny sjsjsjs hes so scarcastic like okay emo edge lord
season 2 is still superior i stand by that statement
#13rw#scott reed#clay jensen#zach dempsey#alex standall#justin foley#jessica davis#13rw s4#13rw s4 reaction#cels spoilers#13rw spoilers#zalex#:(
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I need u to know that there is nobody (except u know who) in this world u are above to. Nobody (except for u know who). And honestly if I lost you, then I would rather, because both of u are the most important people in my life, and I adore u both. Also drink water if u haven't, I'm sorry u had to suffer through maths, and an glad u survived. Salute to u for that. Sleep at a reasonable time.
And now for the ask game I choose :2,23, 19, 14,38,44,53,55,67,60,79,80,117😌
~~dreaming anon
I LOVE U SM AND I ADORE THE PERSON ABOVE ME WITH MY ENTIRE BEING🥰you both are two of my favorite humans—thank you lovely. and jssjsk i do need water actually omg 😂 (and the math wasn’t horrendous at least😭i need the practice for that test i gotta take anyways. tutoring others is helping me sigh) (and i fell asleep at like 4am,,,, is that reasonable? id say so)
OFKSKSSK SO MANY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. they are here so i dont annoy everyone with my thoughts. thank you for askin these!! it was really fun to do🥺
2 - Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?
yes i do🥺from my incredible lil sister every morning ( @theconfuseddreamer 🥰)
23 - Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
hmm i dont think so. im pretty happy now with all my found family, so id say im happier now.
19 - Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
yes! my mother, dad, sisters, brother, and nephews ☺️
14 - Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
myself 😌🤌🏻
38 - Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?
ooo no? i dont think so? im fairly an open book—they want to know something and ill tell em. im not very good at keepin secrets.
44 - If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?
A NOSE STUD! idk if i could pull it off but i love them
53 - What was the last thing you ate?
honey nut cheerios with banana 😌
55 - Where are you going on your next vacation?
im not sure. i know my dad wants to take me to disney land for the harry potter world and im super excited for that one day. my mom and i also want to explore scotland, so hopefully that is some point in my future.
67 - Do you curse around your parents?
oh boy do i. i have the worst fuckin potty mouth in my family LOL. everyone knows if i dont say at least three “fucks” in one sentence, im probably not okay😂💀
60 - Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
no LOL not my style
79 - What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?
i mean,, every time my discord family is all together being chaotic makes this big stupid smile come to my face akaka they always make me laugh
80 - Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?
depends i think. i wouldn’t if the person wasn’t serious with me because a child doesn’t deserve having some stranger walk in and right out their life. if we were serious, i wouldn’t mind at all☺️i just dont wanna hurt the child in anyway
117 - (i picked #6) you’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?
my sister, probably, or my mom😂or, in the perfect future, my discord fam as well LOL
#ashley answers#dreaming anon#sibling tag#IM SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG SKSKSK BUT ILYSM AND I HOPE IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT
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You killde ger didnt you this is the beginning of a very upsetting confession i know it
HER HAIR FLIP
Casey is the favored child "thats not fair i wasnt trying to kill just maim"
Shackleton or a gretchen "whats wrong pp? Scared??" HOT AND ALSO HILARIOUS HOW??
Things were going real well for him, he was leaving the story soon DEATH FLAGS EVERYWHERE AND HE WAS BLACK
I mean the race thing was probably unintentional but like cmon man add more black people
They still get points for the cops need more civilian training episode though
Evan is so good and pure he help caseys dad also whos beth 👀
Casey bullying paige is amazing
Page calling her out tho 👀👀👀
Casey and her girlfriend 💕💕💕
"Im gonna run with you" "hilarious"
Just realised i dont remember anyones names besides casey and paige and paige is oon thin fucking ice
Grumble "i dont wanna jelly bean" love her 💘
NOOOOO THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTIIIIING they best not break up or im calling 9/11
NOOO THE HISBAND AND WIFE ARE FIGHTINGGGG i mean at least this is less complicated for my baby brain but still
"I cried in my car" i love this show
"Now i see why [Name] had to wait until his mother died!!!" Sick burn indeed casey
"Look at me im supporting!!!" Best line in the show FUCK i love them 💘
"My first real boyfriend lived in a craftsmen house! He died. Drinker." HEJDHDHDUDG I LOVE AND HATE THIS WOMAN
"Edison is an introvert your constant presence will annoy him" JSJSHDJD SLAY
Why didnt evan and sid get a cutscene :(
"Like mom" i felt her sting through the screen
Also "did you hit izzy in the head??" LMAO
Casey *throws somthing at her dad* my jaw 💕 the floor I COULD NEVER the child abuse in me would go insane ARE YOU KIDDING (also just like insuting parent in general is extra funny for me because i could never have that relationship wit my parents because child abuse)
Caseys mom and girlfriend are BONDINNNNG sorry to define them by relationship to casey but would you rather it be by vague description
"And you are very very beautiful-" AGAGAGAG I LOVE CASEY SM
"MAYBE SHES NOT THE MOTHER YOU NEED TO BE TALKING TO-" BILL OR WHATEVER THE FUCK NAME YOU HAVE HUG YOUR WIFE
"Its testicular." HIS FUCKING FACE IM CACKLING DAHAHAHAHAHA
Paige is about to Murder sid
HOLY FUCK PAIGE IS GONNA MURDER SID
CASEY I CANT KEEP DEFENDING YOU GIRL
Girl help the girls are fightinnnng girl help my organs are failinnnng
PAIGE DID THE CUTE PENGIN DANCE AND JUST AS SHE CLOSED THE DOOR I STG THE CAPTION SAID *KILLS YOU* SYSUDHDU
Fuck it did kill me huh, casey i will die on your hill
"We need to talk." "No" fuck well i guess no means no good for you bill
"Youre a vital knob" ".... What???" Sam? Wins.
The way he said "why do you always dump milkshakes on people?!?!" I love his actor 💘
"Eyes open?" "Eyes open." "Eyes Open!?"
DOUG DONT YOU DARE TALK TO GF THAT WAY THATS RIGHT YOUR NAME IS DOUG NOW YOUR BILL RIGHTS HAVE BEEN REVOKED
OH MY FUCKING GOD HIS NAME IS DOUG im so sorry 💔
What is the emotional significance of the jar filled with wavy stuff sams mom
Oooooh haha its the weed
Dougs little dance over the marijuana may be funny but i shall not forgive him for his crimes of being mean and named doug
ZAHEEED "are you?" BAHAHAHHA THE FACE
Ahaha soooo when are casey and gf getting back together haha 😅😐🔪
"You know i love you but..." YES NOW PULL OUT YOUR METAPHORICAL BASEBALL BAT AND BEAT HIM TO DEATH ehem uhm metephorically of coursd ahah
The bird art girl is amazing she is reacting to this bizzare ass family in all the right ways
nNoooooooo tHe GIRRRRRRLS
IF SHE STARTS DATING BIRD GIRL I THROUGH HANDS
buut if gf thinks casey likes bird girl that could make for interesting angst 😏
Why must i wish suffering apon myself of all creatures
All is right with the world 🌎 no elaboration you guess what happeneD future me
Idk how casey was rocking the bi haircut and i had no idea
I mean i knew she was bi she dated a guy and then a girl its that simple
Evens back!!!! I didnt love evan but his presence is nice. He's new chuck, except he will never fill the chuck sized hole in my heart.
Haha 54 to zero aha doug is forgiven you get the name bill as a reward
"You used to talk about leaving since you were three years old it honestly hurt my feelings a little" AHAH
Hey uh sam bud WHAT DID THE JOURNAL SAY
Im too sleep deprived to do anymore commentary I mean im not going to sleep and im gonna finish the show but your gonna have to make due with whatever the fuck i say next
Aw is that the end i was hoping to see more of casey and tarot daughter before it ended
Ah well GN
#thought i should share my thoughts on#atypical#season 4 specifically#sorry to people named doug#im not sorry for what i said im sorry your parents named you doug 💔
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hello yes i just finished lord of the flies (and then watched the 1963 movie immediately afterwards) & i rlly luv piggy so im gonna yell abt Just Piggy Things™ even if no one cares
piggy’s the first character we’re introduced to, after ralph ofc, so that means we’re supposed to get attached, and boy did i get attached..
ass-mar
the fact that he’s been called mean nicknames so long that his real name doesnt matter to him?? he doesnt care what hes called?? poor thing wtf??? hes like eleven hes too little for this
the Flashing Anime Glasses. especially the one w the fire when he starts laughing maniacally. same.
im talking about: “then he laughed so strangely that they were hushed, looking at the flash of his spectacles in astonishment.”
also: “’i got the conch,’ said piggy, in a hurt voice. ‘i got a right to speak.’” let him speak hes the only damn reasonable one. also stop hurting him hes been hurt enough goddamnit
k but how much he loves ralph? and ralph is annoyed by him??? but then later he confides in him & cries over him & their friendship is my fav in the book so. they bond it just takes a while. but piggy was always good to ralph awe
“i was with him when he found the conch. i was with him before anyone else was.” he finally made a friend dont u take him from him ;-;
k speaking of the conch, in the first movie, his laugh when ralph’s blowing the horn for the first time??? aw??? a rare moment of joy in that sad ass movie??
‘63!film piggy is the sweetest & cutest i lob him. ‘90!film piggy was annoying as shit tho i refuse to talk about him.
in the ‘63!film when he puts his hands on his hips when jack says “shut up fatty” and then hides behind the tree when they all laugh at him.
god in the book it’s easy to forget theyre actual babies but with the movie u cant possibly forget and theyre so cute but defenseless it’s so sad
i kno these actors r like 70 or dead now but i wanna go back in time & give them a hug. especially piggy cuz hes a pouty chubby bub gOD IM SO SAD
one last note on the film before i get back to the book: the movie rlly encompassed how awkward i imagined piggy to be & i luv that. also his story time abt camberly was adorable + educational (for me, anyway)
how hurt he is when ralph tells the other boys his name, poor thing ugh :(
“’let him have the conch!’ shouted piggy. ‘let him have it!’” yes stand up for poor lil mulberry child
“piggy knelt by him, one hand on the great shell, listening and interpreting to the assembly.” hes so fuckin sweet??? hes like the mom of the island hes so nice to the littluns i luv him
and when he gets upset over the mulberry boy probably bein killed in the fire :’( hes the most sensible and the most empathetic of all the other boys. what a cinnamon roll. unproblematic fav. true neutral. 10/10. the best boy.
my second favorite line in the whole book: “then, with the martyred expression of a parent who has to keep up with the senseless ebullience of the children, he picked up the conch, turned toward the forest, and began to pick his way over the tumbled scar.” tired mama piggy lmao
he wants to make a sundial?? hes so smart aw
piggy thinking ralph’s patronizing smile was a friendly one :( :( he just wants a friendddd hes so naive & sweet im sadddd
i think it’s implied most of the other boys (particularly the choir boys & ralph) are from a nicer, more upper class part of england, &, despite his intelligence, piggy’s more lower class, judging by his cockney-esque accent (his use of ‘them’ instead of ‘those’, etc.) and also “piggy was an outsider, not only by accent, which did not matter…” idk why this is cute i dunno
“piggy arrived, out of breath and whimpering like a littlun.” me in pe. but also poor thing ;-;
“piggy sniveled and simon shushed him as though he had spoken too loudly in church.” i interpreted shushed as, like, consoled, more than, like, ‘quit crying, ya baby’, which was more what he was doing, but still…first of many cute piggy & simon interactions. i’d ship them but theyre like twelve so nah. but they cute as buddies
“this was too bitter for piggy, who forgot his timidity in the agony of his loss. he began to cry out, shrilly: ‘you and your blood, jack merridew! you and your hunting! we might have gone home-’” this hurts because if jack hadn’t gone hunting, they may have been rescued before simon or piggy died :( :( :( horrible vague foreshadowing
simon getting piggy’s glasses for him when jack throws em ;-;
simon giving his piece of meat (not a euphemism, goddamnit) to piggy.. god simons so sweet hes my second fav
“only, decided ralph as he faced the chief’s seat, i can’t think. not like
piggy…he could go step by step inside that fat head of his, only piggy was no chief. but piggy, for all his ludicrous body, had brains.” why does ralph resent piggy sm. it’s like it psychically hurts him to compliment him, even just in his own head. jeez. just cuz someones fat doesnt mean they cant be smart?? the 50s were weird
“piggy came and stood outside the triangle. this indicated that he wished to listen, but would not speak; and piggy intended it as a gesture of disapproval.” aka ‘i’m mad at everyone so im gonna stand two feet away & glare at you all’ aw haha
when he tiptoes onto the triangle cuz hes done w his protesting ahaha aw
“piggy held out his hands for the conch but ralph shook his head.” idk i thought the mental image was cute. “gimme pls” “nuh uh”
what he says about the beast & life being scientific…me & piggy would be buds if he was real lmao
“ralph nodded to piggy. ‘go on. ask him.’ piggy knelt, holding the conch. ‘now then. what’s your name?’ the small boy twisted away into his tent. piggy turned helplessly to ralph..” honestly piggy & ralph are the mom & dad of the colony (jack being the asshole uncle) it’s so cute
“’that’s a clever beast,’ said piggy, jeering, ‘if it can hide on this island.’” sarcastic piggy is sarcastic
more sarcastic piggy earlier in the book: “you got your small fire all right” i lob him
indignant & shrill piggy… and his quote: “’what are we? humans? or animals? or savages?’” honestly lowkey want that tattooed
i fuckin hate jalph but admittedly jack’s jealous lil “’that’s right–favor piggy as you always do.’” is salty & gay lmao
the whole three blind mice convo…i luv
particular highlight in that scene: “’i’m scared of him,’ said piggy, ‘and that’s why i know him. if you’re scared of someone you hate him but you can’t stop thinking about him. you kid yourself he’s all right really, an’ then when you see him again; it’s like asthma an’ you can’t breathe. i tell you what. he hates you too, ralph—’” POOR BABYYY
also “’i know about people. i know about me. and him. he can’t hurt you: but if you stand out of the way he’d hurt the next thing. and that’s me.” IN THE END ROGER’S THE ONE WHO HURTS HIM UGH :(
“’keep piggy out of danger.’” YOU ASSHOLES LET HIM DIE
piggy holding his breath until his asthma acts up & then the boys just leave him??? what dicks
“jack cleared his throat and spoke in a queer, tight voice. ‘we mustn’t
let anything happen to piggy, must we?’” AND THEN YOU LET HIM D I E U SALTY BITCH QUIT IT
“piggy put on his one glass and looked at ralph. ‘now you done it. you been rude about his hunters.’ ‘oh shut up!’” why dont more ppl ship them?? compared to jalph theres nothing??? theyre like a married couple it’s precious. like i said - mom & dad of the island.
piggy getting braver & being more of a leader once jack leaves!!! im proud of him!!
“he [simon] sought for help and sympathy and chose piggy” k the two most humane & sympathetic kids on the island, and the two doomed ones, gravitate towards each other & look out for each other & it so sadd
piggy being “so full of pride in his contribution to the good of society” he didnt deserve his fate he was so good im so sad
samneric & piggy making a little mini feast for them?? thats so cute???
also “piggy broke into noisy laughter and took more fruit. ‘he might be.’ he gulped his mouthful. ‘he’s cracked’.” piggy u get teased for bein different why would u tease simon (behind his back too) for bein diffrent u hypocrite. noisy laughter tho aw
piggy & ralph laying by the fire & talking…ralph didnt deserve piggy honestly he wasnt even grateful until the very end for such a good friend in such a horrible situation??? ugh
“when he understood how far ralph had gone toward accepting him he flushed pinkly with pride” see? good friendship. piggy just wanted a friend & to be considered valuable. and ralph finally started appreciating him
“piggy took off his glasses, stepped primly into the water, and then put them on again.” prim: stiffly formal and respectable; feeling or showing disapproval of anything regarded as improper. idk why this is funny to me
when he gets annoyed and starts slapping the water & yelling. temper tatrum lmao. dont blame him
“piggy stirred the sand under water and did not look at ralph. ‘p’raps we ought to go too.’ ralph looked at him quickly and piggy blushed. ‘i mean–to make sure nothing happens.’ ralph squirted water again.” they’re so fuckINGN CUTE
“piggy touched ralph’s wrist. ‘come away. there’s going to be trouble. and we’ve had our meat.’“ SO MUCH OF THIS STORY WOULDVE BEEN AVOIDED IF THE OTHER BOYS ACTUALLY LISTENED TO PIGGY
“ralph sat down in the grass facing the chief’s seat and the conch. piggy knelt at his left, and for a long minute there was silence.” i luv their dynamic sm. ruler & adviser. no questions asked. ultimate loyalty. so good.
piggy trying to be all rational about simon while ralph freaks out…what a scene. also i luv how awkward their convo w samneric immediately after is
piggy wants to be rescued most and hes the one whos killed!!!! bullshit!!!! justice for piggy!!!
when ralph says piggy should write a letter to his auntie & he takes it serious & ralph laughs & piggy doesnt get it. awe.
the scene where they take his glasses ;-; u made my boi piggy hav an ass-mar attack u monsters,
PIGGY GETTIN ALL BADASS & DETERMINED & TALKING ABOUT WHAT HES GONNA TELL JACK
“he held out the conch to piggy who flushed, this time with pride” and then “piggy sought in his mind for words to convey his passionate willingness to carry the conch against all odds.” the conch is the only constant on the island, the only dependable thing he has besides ralph, so hes so invested in it, hes pretty much deemed himself the caretaker of the conch, and it dies with him…
the scene where piggy reassures ralph & it says “the twins were examining ralph curiously, as though they were seeing him for the first time” is probably my fav scene in the entire book…it just really shows, in a couple of lines, the characters that ralph & piggy are, and what their relationship is like, and why they’re a partnership throughout the whole book. fantastic.
“’am i safe?’ quavered piggy. ‘i feel awful–’” fuckin foreshadowing, i hate it. imagine being practically blind on a cliff and then, minutes later, falling to your death. god it’s terrible.
piggy crying for ralph not to leave him actually hurts like psychically in my chest. him and simon were babies??? i know it’s fiction but kids are the sweetest things, not even fictional kids deserve to be killed so mercilessly??? im so fuckin sad
his last words…powerful and iconic.
i dont wanna talk about his death. im very sad
k ik it’s terrible but when he died his skull cracked open & his brain more or less fell out (”and stuff came out”, “with his empty head”), and thats p macabre but it’s also symbolic and genius bc when roger killed him he also took away the only thing he had going for him, the only thing that gave him superiority over the others - his intelligence. his brain.
of course, have to end on: “ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart, and the fall through the air of the true, wise friend called piggy.” cue me shutting the book, hugging it to my chest, and sobbing
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My Timeline
This exercise is designed to help pick the patterns in my behavior. Along the way I'm sure I will find other uses for it. First, a few reminders. DO NOT go back and edit. DO NOT beat around the bush. Accuracy is key.
2011
Working retail. In a relationship that is mind numbing. Brand new at this and dont have much to report. Not even sure what to write here.
2012
Fighting feelings of guilt. He's finally been put behind bars. I think I may need counseling.
Feeling guilty. Wanna kill myself.
2013
Fired from job. On unemployment. Still in BS relationship. Not sure this timeline is panning out to be what I thought it would.
New a new start. Signed up for college classes. Dental Assisting. Not something I would have thought I would choose. Worth a try.
School is turning out to be fun. Trouble paying but dad is helping. Gave me a car to get into San Antonio. I can feel the stress subsiding. Step grandfather passed. No emotion for someone who was such a prick towards the end of his life.
Christmas was a disaster. So many snobby family members.
2014
Ok. I think I'm getting this timeline thing. Hard to not go back and change it though.
Enjoying school. Especially clinicals. Will start my hours soon the graduate.
Relationship is okay now that he stays gone all week. I think I hate him.
Hours in my clinicals are rough with no pay. Got a job at a little cafe about 20 hours a week. Love my boss and his wife.
Clinicals FINALLY done. Job searching time.
OMFG clinical hours do not count as experience therefore no experience equals no job. wtf.
FML still no fucking chances anywhere. Suicidal thoughts.
Mom flipped the fuck out as usual. Took the boyfriends side because she was wrong. Would have rather him have gone. Getting tired of both of them anyway.
Time to hold it down on my own. His health is bad. Which makes me feel bad for wanting him gone. I think I have checked out emotionally. Or never checked in.
2015
Finally got my foot in the door at an office. Found someone I can learn everything from. She's awesome. The doctor is a douche but I can deal. Besides what man isnt a douche?
Theres something wrong with this office. So many people being secretive and my office manager is a total bitch. A "mean girl".
Gotta stop reading over this everytime I come in here. I want to change it!
Ok my 6 months is up for experience, time to look for another office. My mentor flaked and left. On my own.
Put in 2 week notice only to have my pay raised and promoted to office manager. Do I really want to sit behind a desk instead of working on patients?
Still in dead end relationship. Still hate him. Suicidal thoughts.
I think I'm getting this timeline down. Starting to see my patterns already. Even if I dont write them in here. How to fix them?
Easy holidays without family. Spent them with friends in Bastrop. Relief!
2015
Still working in the same office for more pay. Found out why everyone is so secretive. Doctor is a mess. In debt up to his eyeballs, no longer getting paid on time, misappropriated funds on a regular basis, has no business sense what so ever, deals with shady people, I doubt his abilities due to MANY pissed off patients, holy shit, the list goes on. Back to the drawing board for a new job.
2 surgeries almost back to back. I'm falling apart. Suicidal thoughts.
Well fuck. Jobs are everywhere but pay is a bitch. Nothing matches it. Cant quit here if I cant sustain my living situation.
BS relationship has finally taken its toll. Verdict is in. I hate his guts. Tired of doing everything myself. Spends all his time on the computer chating with girls. What do I care? Maybe one of them will take him in. Why do I want to strangle him in his sleep?
2016
Got a new house but still not happy.
Tried out a new office but it's not the same. I think I got use to the chaos. Alot of blood sweat and tears have gone into that office. Went back.
Doctor has hired an overpriced nanny. This bitch is gonna drive me to drinking. I've been replaced. Good thing or bad thing?
Starting to understand my emotions. Realizing my family is the root of my issues in life. Now I'm becoming content with no contact. Just have to figure out this BS relationship.
On my birthday, I think I found my SM. Talking on a regular basis. And finally figured out what to do about BS relationship.
2017
Missed a bunch of time on this so I'm writing it in 2019 and trying to write as I would have in that time and frame of mind. Using things from other posts to help write this.
New home again but cant afford it without help. Took on roommate. She's awesome.
Hanging with Boozefighters next door is a really good time.
Fired from job for insubordination. What a bitch!
Depression setting in. I want out of this town. Suicidal thoughts.
Dad is helping me move back to hometown and can already tell I was right about my family. My daughter is pissed!
Trying to find comfort in family but wanting more than anything for SM to give in.
First job back in retail because dental pay is BS.
Things with SM are rocky. A couple of jail stays and lots of drinking. Having trouble keeping my head on straight and leaning back on emotions instead of thinking logical.
SM busted! Now what? Something always sets me back. Wtf? What is so wrong with my choices in life?
Got a place together. More drinking...... and some fighting......... and court........
Realized I went off the reservation due to my feelings for him. Haven't thought logical in some time.
These feelings have to be real. Cant fight them. But emotions are unreliable.
More turmoil with family. Trying to reconcile with mother. Didnt got well. Fuck it!
2018
Lost car at Christmas and finding it hard to hold onto my job. Feeling depressed again. Suicidal thoughts.
Only thing I'm sure of are my feelings for SM. He's got me and now I'm scared of what I may do for him.
Job is suffering so transfer and begin walking to work.
Realizing the hold SM has on me and it's dangerous. Is it healthy to be this attached? Should I distance myself? HELL NO
Bought a new car. But now I need a new job and SM is leaving me to serve time.
Moved in with grandmother when SM goes into serve time. I'm slipping again. More depression and anxieties are back.
New job is overnights and not sleeping like I need to. I want him home! Job isnt going well from depression and 2 hospital visits for sleep deprivation and malnutrition. Job is too demanding and anger creeping up.
Transfer to different department hoping it helps but instead get hours cut.
Weekend drives to unit for visits that never seem to last long enough. Cant touch him like I need to, like i want to.
Dont want to do a fucking thing if he cant be with me. Cancelled on so many things with friends. Is this what my life has come to?
Searching for a new job. Wtf is wrong with this town. Part time only and everyone is short staffed.
Cant pay bills at my grandmothers. 500 dollar electric bill. Fuck this!
I'm cracking..... had an emotional breakdown and unsure of how to hold myself together.
Hanging with people I know I shouldnt and offered a chance at Colorado. Do I take it?
Got another part time overnight. What the hell am I doing killing myself like this? Fuck this town and fuck this whole goddamn state!
Took the Colorado offer but I know he will have issues with it. How to handle it? It's where he wants to be but doubt we would make it there by his hand.
Packed up, missed a visit. He's going to go ape shit! Daughter is more excited then I am because I cried all the way here. Why does it feel wrong at the same time?
Well I was right. He went ape shit.
Colorado is a culture shock but I can feel myself calming. Driving the amish all over is peaceful and informative. But hurting for money. Place we are staying in is run down and not fit for habiting.
SM sent a letter. If I dont go back, its over. I guess it's over. I dont have the money to go back. Hold onto hope that he will be here when he gets out anyway.
Got a job with the county that's going well. I now understand what I have to do to complete my main goal. (Main goal is in another post.)
Opened the guitar up to stare at it and cry all day. Wth............
Christmas was rough. Still on the fence about my decision to come here even though most of the time I'm at peace with the views here.
2019
Person I came with is expressing feelings towards me. Not feeling it.
Working 2 part time jobs so I can stop driving the amish but tired of the travel with one job.
Got a place in Romeo. Its decent but I've been ripped off. This asshole needs to be shot. Speaking of being shot. I'm being threatened and I have 2 gunshots in my house.
Rightful owner let me buy it from her. Ok I can do this. Now to do something about the asshole who ripped me off. The fucker lives right across the street.
Against my better judgement J moves in. I think I need protection. Bought a gun. Bad idea. J is a felon. He's not here alot but appearance is what matters. Wtf. I guess I'm back to using people again.
Turns out we make a good team. Accomplishing quite a bit to achieve my main goal. I still dont feel like he does but I'm getting shit done.
Bought a trailer house, 2 parcels of land, a boat, 2 cars and a camper trailer. Way to go!!!
What the hell did I just do? I just made things way more complicated and started something I have no intentions of finishing. Heart breaking again.
Fighting, fighting, fighting. I finally understand how SM felt about me in the beginning. Suicidal thoughts.
My daughter is settling in nicely. Started a three some relationship and taking after my mother. Lol Now she's met a guy and starting to find herself.
My daughter turned 18! Holy shit I'm old............
SM is in a halfway house......... he didnt sound happy and I think my heart is breaking again. J is flipping out on me again over SM. Pressure is on. Dont slip again. Stay focused.
Yay! for phone time! Again confirming my emotions are real this time.
My daughter graduated. Yup, I'm still old. And getting older by the minute.
Went to Midland to clear up the storage unit. Fuck! It's all gone. Destroyed! All his stuff is gone. I've gotta replace it all.
Ok home ownership sucks! Everything breaks and has to be fixed........ twice!
Cleared my head. For once........
Divorce is final. 16 years and now back in contact with my son. Feeling complete.
Job is going great.
In negotiations on another home and a restaurant.
Joined 2 community boards and Search & Rescue.
Talk therapy helped me come to a conclusion. Time to let go of SM.
Married J. Did I do whats best for my future?
This time around, marriage has proved to be easier than the first. Im all in but fearful of not knowing what the future holds.
Notes
Fill in above the notes as you go. Remember. Dont edit or erase. Dont fucking touch it other than adding. Calling yourself out only works when the truth is written down. Yes they will change consistently. Find your patterns. Truth means sensitive information so dont let anyone read it unless you are ready for anger. If you happen to mentor someone in the future, that might not be a good idea! And pay attention during depression spells. Ever emotion counts.
Had the best holidays ever. Real trees are a mess though.
2020
Finally got full time with benefits at the County
Set up my retirement and 401. This is what I have wanted my entire life. And life insurance!
Pandemic approaching.
Lockdown! Sent home for 2 months with pay.
Took up arts and crafts and gardening to pass the time.
Stimulus check. Bought my daughter a car.
Lots of facetime with my son!
Back to work. So many restrictions.
COVID cases are declining.
County in trouble financially. How much longer will I have a job?
Paid of the house! After a court battle from attempting to rip us off. Again........
Gained another family member.
Going back on lockdown with pay again.
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YA CHEEKY LITTLE CUNT love you tho because its always fun to do these asks even though everyone who reads will probs forget all these details in like the span of a week.
1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?
wanna go again?
2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?
nothing anymore
3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?
depends on what drugs, the severity of the side effects, the cost of said drugs, and how addicted they are to it. like if its weed sure go ahead long as it isn’t around me not a big fan of the smell. crystal meth however i would probably be turned off or just attempt to get them off it. over the counter drugs though is fine too.
4. Is your last name longer than six letters? yep
5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? sober
6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes. horribly messed up. still think about it tbh
7. What does your last received text say? “ well i think you can just wax with whatever length but it wont be able to cling to your hair well”
8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? lost count too busy being happy at the time
9. Where was your last kiss at? a bus stop
10. When is the last time you saw your sister? yesterday
11. What do you drink in the morning? nothing. i dont wake up in the morning
12. Where did you sleep last night? my couch because its fucking comfier than my bed
13. Do you think relationships are hard? most def. wouldn’t have it any other way though.
14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? yeah
15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?
yeah, the fact we haven’t talked in months, and because i’m pretty sure she wants nothing to do with me lol
16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? rainy, free shower
17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? dont got a middle name so i guess yes?
18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? boxing shorts
19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? ahahaha no.
20. Does anyone like you? trust me, if i knew i would do something about it
21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? its rude to say but i don’t remember but from what i do remember its a no
22. Is the last person you kissed gay? not gay specifically at least from what i’ve been told by said person
23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? 3 people specifically. not gonna name them
24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? multiple times, talked to tattoo artists, people who had multiple tattoos, people who are first timers so yeah i want one maybe 5
25. In the past week have you cried? yeah anime hurts the feels bro
26. What breed was the last dog you saw?does pictures on tumblr count? if yes, a shiba inu, if no, golden retriever
27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? out of the shower, i feel like im gonna slip and fall if i stay in there too long
28. Have you ever kissed a football player? yeah he doesn’t use lip balm often so it was kinda rough
29. Do you think you’re old? yeah
30. Do you like text messaging? most def. i like texting more than talking since i can think about my words and play it off as just “ yeah i was busy” also i find myself a better conversationalist on texts than in person
31. What type of day are you having? a shitty one but i showered so im feeling refreshed at least
32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? nope, i have thought about getting spider bites on my lower lip but i dont think i can pull it off
33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? cold weather, i hate bugs and indoor volleyball is nice
34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?yeah
35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? a relationship. flings hurt afterwards and to me theres no feelings behind it so youre left feeling empty
36. Are you a simple or complicated person? i wanna say simple but everyone knows everyones complicated. if someones simple that just means theyre not letting off everything at the get go
37. What song are you listening to? lie to me george nozuka
38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? of course i do. does it mean i wont make the same mistake? nope. it just means i’ll take steps to preventing it from happening again. if it happens again then ill keep trying. all you can do when you fuck up is to just keep trying to prevent it from happening again. 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? i’d like to think so40. What made you start liking the person you like now?vibrant personality that draws you in. playful demeanor. likes geeky things like i do. has deep thoughts that make me want to ponder existence with them. likes physical intimacy. and the first thought when i saw her was that i wanted to protect her, care for her, and guide her in life if ever she needs help. 41. When did you last receive a text message? 8:43 am monday42. What is wrong with you right now? im not independent? i rely on friends and other stuff to grant me happiness when really the only source of happiness i can rely on if to draw it from myself. friends help but they can’t be the only source. i have trouble moving on from past issues, constantly weighed down by past decisions and mistakes when i should have passed it a long time ago.43. How well do you know the last female you texted? not very well however she knows me very well since i vent to her lol44. Does anyone disgust you? yeah the same 3 people i mentioned that i cannot stand.45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? most likely yeah46. Are you in a good mood right now? nope. neutral if anything47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?me mother before she left for a bus shuttle to fort mac48. What color shirt are you wearing? nude. no plans today, or guests so that means no pants, no shirt and occasionally if im feeling happy enough, no underwear either49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? not recently. i have a feeling that i’ve given off the vibe to all my friends that they have to tip toe around me about a lot of topics else they’ll make me sad. i’d rather a splash of cold water in the face than some shitty lie50. Anyone you’re giving up on? myself mostly.51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? i never hate the people i used to date. i hate the decisions i made that lead to breaking up. i tend to think things are never someone else’s fault but more of mine. even if by some weird chance it wasn’t i would twist it so it was my fault. its just easier for everyone that way if people have a scapegoat.
52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? yeah.53. Do you like rain? i love it. sometimes on rare occasions i can almost feel the shitty person inside me just kinda slide off my skin and drip off the tips of my fingers and i feel … complete? is the best way i can put it54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? nope. party all you like, im just not too keen on drinking very often or partying very often. although when i do party ill party hard.55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? who hasnt?56. Do you like to cuddle? love it. spooning, arm on shoulder, hugging from behind, them sitting on your lap, them holding you from behind. my skin feels electric when the person i love has their skin against mine.57. Are you shy? i’d like to say im not58. Do you get along with girls? i’d like to say i do59. Have you dated the person you texted last? not going to lie hahah i considered it at some point60. What do you carry with you at all times? phone, wallet , keys.61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? yeah most likely. the economy sucks bro.62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? yeah assuming i dont fuck up lol63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?nope. sadly.64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? DAMN STRAIGHT. shit would be like a good luck charm65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? my niece tried to say duck and instead said fuck
66. How old are the last three people you kissed? probably going to get some questionable looks from this but 16, 24, 21
67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? pay for a pro, i am NOT an artistic person. 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? zebra. black and white. leopard print makes me think a white 40 something year old with plastic surgery, hair thats half a meter tall and nails that are longer than most men’s penises talking with a southern belle accent that tries to hit on pool boys69. Do you have any stickers on your car? none70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? i hate country and im not a fan of lil wayne anymore so i guess lil wayne if i absolutely have to.71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? android 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? couple days ago?73. Do you like diet soda? hate it. feels fake to me74. What color are the walls in your room? boring beige75. Are you 16 or older? yes.76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? heard of it, seen gifs, dont plan on watching it77. Do you have a job? as of now yeah. 78. What are your initials? SM79. Did you ever have braces? nope. i had retainers but i kept breaking them so my parents were like okay thats enough, its too expensive to replace them lol80. Are you from the south? im about as north as you can get without living in igloos
81. What does your last status on facebook say? “day barely started and 4 things putting me in a shitty mood. looks liek today is gonna be loooooooooong”82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? i wish.83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? mother. although im not on good terms with either of them. my mother just has more patience to deal with me84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? i did pom squad which was a pretty shitty version of cheerleading i guess. 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? beauty and the beast i thoroughly enjoyed it =] 86. Do you smoke? weed or cigarettes? either one ive stopped both. not worth it, plus i dislike smelling gross.87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? i’ve worn heels before but not for a prolonged period of time but they felt nice so i’d say hells. flip flops keep making annoying sounds and it makes me grind my teeth thinking about it88. Is your phone touch screen? yes89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? straight. i’d love it to be a bit curly. i even permed my hair last year apparently it looked good says some friends of mine.90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? i snuck out last night lol. the family gave up on stopping me.91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? pool. rivers and lakes have the possibility of germs, leeches or other shit. its a hassle to have to take extra precautions92. Have you ever made out in a car? yep.93. …Had sex in a car? almost.94. Are you single or in a relationship? single. 95. What were you doing last night at midnight? playing overwatch with my friend reo.96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? AW COME THE FUCK ON. the last relationship questions weren’t enough to jab a knife in my chest but this too? fuck. whatever. it was at capital ex or k- days whatever the fuck you wanna call it. i had fun. the fireworks wasn’t the only thing that sparked. fuck. instant bad mood.97. Do you like the camera on your phone? yeah its really good. i can take pictures of my friends and even see the condition of their pores and shit its pretty nice. 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? nope. i’d like to try it though99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? not yet.100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? yeah. i should really just delete my facebook. 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? nope. 102. Name your favorite Kesha song: Die young103. Do you have any tan lines right now? nope.104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? sure why not. i’d probs wear assless chaps too if i had a nice ass
#ask me more shiiit yallllll#this was fun#but im still salty about that one question about fireworks#ask se7enpounds
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100 - 150!
100. how r u feeling? really really sad n i miss @bluntbat n i wanna make them happy
101. do u type fast? nope
102. do you regret anything from ur past? yes sm sm sm literally more than anything oh god
103. can u spell well? no but i think (???) i have a big vocabulary
104. do u miss anyone from your past? i miss the way my parents were before they started abusing me
105. ever been to a bonfire party? aaa kinda???
106. ever broken someone’s heart? i dont think
107. have u ever been on a horse? yes but i do not trust them one bit
108. what should u be doing? idk
109. is there something irritating u rn? i guess my family always is
110. have u ever liked someone sm it hurt? yea but im datin them now !!!!!
111. do u have trust issues? yes sm (thanks mom & dad)
112. who was the last person u cried in front of? @bluntbat
113. what was ur childhood nickname? peanut lmao
114. have u ever been outside of ur state/provence? yes ofc !!
115. do u play the wii? i used to
116. r u listening to music rn? yes !!! im listening to arienette by bright eyes (its emo)
117. do u like chicken noodle soup? soup is nasty cmon guys
118. do u like chinese food? some of it!!!
119. favorite book? honestly i have no clue ??? i think its the underneath by kathi appelt
120. r u afraid of the dark? yes it makes me very paranoid
121. r u mean? this is like my all time biggest fear
122. is cheating ever ok? no wtf never
123. can u keep white shoes clean? i try my best (no never)
124. do u believe in love at true sight? i mean this answer really really depends on the person i think everybody falls in love differently n who r we to judge
125. do u believe in true love? yes oh my god i’ve literally found my true love
126. r u currently bored? can u ever truly b bored w an attention disorder
127. what makes u happy? ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my s/o !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tarantulas n other bugs !!!!!!!! makeup!!!!!!!!!!!! drawing!!!!!!!!!!! cuddling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my s/o!!!!!!!!!!! my s/o!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
128. would u change ur name? no but i would change my last name the person im gonna marry in the future has a really kick ass last name
129. whats ur zodiac sign? oh god im gonna pull out the chart: sun: aries, moon: taurus, mercury: pisces, venus: pisces, mars: taurus, jupiter: taurus, saturn: taurus, uranus: aquarius, neptune: aquarius, pluto: sagittarius, lilith: capricorn, asc node: leo, ascendant: cancer, midheaven: pisces
130. do u like subway? who tf doesn’t
131. your best friend of the opposite sex likes u, what do u do? my best friend is nb n they like me n r dating me !!!!!!!
132. who’s the last person u had a deep conversation with? @bluntbat
133. favorite lyrics rn? oh god ok hmmm.... i really relate to this one song rn thats like “so you said it was for me / when you tried to break me” n from the same song “and you swore that it hurt you / while pushing your knife through”
134. can u count to one million? no id get so distracted
135. dumbest lie u ever told? idk ive told too many lies n i feel horrible abt it
136. do u sleep w ur door open or closed? closed
137. how tall r u? 5��3.5″
138. curly or straight hair? i have straight hair !!!
139. brunette or blonde? my hair is pink !!!
140. summer or winter? winter bc i love snow and i hate wearing short sleeves!!!!!!!!
141. night or day? day!! night is for sleeping zzzzz
142. favorite month? october !!!
143. r u a vegetarian? no but the only meat i eat is chicken
144. dark, milk, or white chocolate? all !!!!
145. tea or coffee? honestly?? neither
146. was today a good day? yes sm !!!! i spent it w @bluntbat n we cuddled n made cookies n watched a movie abt a girl killing a pedophile
147. mars or snickers? mars !!!
148. what’s your favorite quote? “its a lot better when ur in love, ya kno?” - sam
149. do u believe in ghosts? no but also yes my heart believes in them but my head does not
150. pg. 42 in the closest book? you’re dead. why are you waving at me? why are you raising your voice from the ashes that turned cold long ago?
you’re dead. i’m telling you you’re dead. and you can never lay another hand on me again.
there is nothing you can do to me. i am a living breathing human being. my young, warm, unsullied heart is untouchable.
you’re dead. you’re a piece of dung cast aside and covered with earth. if anybody ever touched you, they’d merely have to wash their hands to be rid of you. don’t touch me! i’m alive. i have my wine to drink and my road to follow.
you have nothing to do with me. stop waving at me! and stop gritting your straight, white teeth at me! yes, i know the dead keep their teeth for a long time. it will be a long time before they fall from your rotten skull.
you’re a corpse. do you understand? and i’m carrying love in my arms. now step aside!
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1)Are you really ready for 108 questions? sure 2) Was your last real relationship a mistake? it was on movie star planet so yeah 4) Who did you last say “I love you” to? my boyfriend 5) Do you regret it? no 6) Have you ever been depressed? 😎👉 7)Are you a boy or girl? girl 8)Who is your best friend? my og squad 9) What is your relationship status? taken owo 10) How do you want to die? rich and famous so i can have my body frozen 11) What did you last eat? wonton soup 12) Played any sports? basketball for awhile a long time ago 13) Do you bite your nails? yeah lmao kill me 14) When was your last physical fight? when i was a sperm and i was fighting off the other sperm to reach my moms egg 15) Do you have an attitude? hell yeah 16) Do you like someone? yeah 17) What is your real name? sophia elizabeth (question number 18 doesnt exist um???) 19) Are you gonna get high later? high on lifE 20) Do you hate anyone at the moment? myself 21) Do you miss someone? yeah 22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti? twirl because im Italian and not a savage 23) Do you tan a lot? i tan but not on purpose 24) Have any pets? 2 cats, 1 dog, 2 fish, and a turtle 25) How exactly are you feeling? uhhh,, tired ? 26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving? yeah? 27) Ever made out in the bathroom? not to my memory 28) Would you take any of your exes back? yeah lmao movie star planet girl hit me up 29) Are you scared of spiders? ye 30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? hell yeah 31) Do you regret anything from your past? most of it 32) What are your plans for this weekend? its almost over but im just gonna watch sherlock and do homework 33) Do you want to have kids? maybe 34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M? no 35) Do you type fast? eh 36) Do you have piercings? just my ears 37) Want any more? yeah my cartilage 38) Can you spell well? not at all 39) Do you miss anyone from your past? ye 40) What are you craving right now? death 41) Ever been to a bonfire party? ye i held it 43) Have you ever been on a horse? yeah 44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck? no 45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart? i hope not 46) Have you ever been cheated on? no 47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? yeah i suck 49) Would you live with someone without marrying them? definitely 50) What should you be doing? homework 51) What’s irritating you right now? my sister 52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? yeah rip 53) Does somebody love you? yeah, and i love them back 54) What is your favorite colour? yellow or dusty pink 55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? yes?? i think 57) Do you have trust issues? kinda 60. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? i guess. im not open about stuff but we dont fight really 62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? no?? they were 10 63) Who was the last person you cried in front of? my boyfriend 64) Do you give out second chances too easily? depends but i mostly i give people like 14th chances 65) Is it easier to forgive or forget? forgive but im bad at it 66) Is this year the best year of your life? its up there 67) What was your childhood nick name? sophie, soap, fifi 68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked? not to my knowledge 70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason? no everything is fake um 71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 😏😏😏😏 im kidding tho i stalked this one girls instagram 73) What is bothering you? my own existence 74) Have you ever been out of your state? ye 75) Do you play the Wii? wii sports bitch 76) Are you listening to music right now? nah 77) Do you like Chinese food? i just had it like an hour ago 78) Do you know your fathers birthday? yeah?? 79) Are you afraid of the dark? a little 80) Is cheating ever okay? no, like i get why people do it but its shitty 81) Are you mean? yeah tf im the worst 82) Can you keep white shoes clean? noo 84) Do you believe in true love? ??kinda?? i dont really believe there is only one person for everyone 88) Do you like the outside? eh sometimes 89) Are you currently bored? ye 90) Do you wanna get married? yeah 91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? if its the right person 92) Are you hungry? nah im really full 93) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? probably i wasnt counting um 94) What makes you happy? my boyfriend and monster factory 95) Would you change your name? my last name 96) Ever been to Alaska? i wanna but no 98) Do you watch the news? yeah i like the news (not fox tho that pisses me off) 99) What’s your zodiac sign? scorpio 100) Do you like Subway? yeah i go there sm the people there know me 101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? no? but hes like miles away so 102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? cry and pretend it didnt happen prob. or if i like them back then???? 103) Do you talk like your friends? yeah its disgusting 104) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them? everyday uh 105) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? i guess 106) who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? my dad or my boyfriend idfk oop 107) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes? its their lungs they are giving cancer. also im not going to make out w/ them so 108) Can you count to one million? i guess Nominate: 25 or more friends no
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