For @mungroveweek day 4, prompt "The Camaro vs the van"

A doodle that got out of hand.

New In Town (part four) - Kaz Brekker

Request: nope Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader Summary: after successfully stealing a valuable necklace Kaz Brekker also had his eyes on, you start a dangerous cat and mouse game to see just how much you can get away with Warnings:  language Word count: 3.1K A/N: I'm trying to finish writing all of the parts before college starts again and woaaaaaaa I'm going so fast lol PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART TAG LIST (all grishaverse fics): @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15@dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha @story-scribbler @romanoffstarkovs @daliareads@meiitanoia @itsnotquimey @sanktaesperanza @whymyparentscheckmyphone @aleksanderwh0r3 @ilovemarvelanne1 @marlenaisnthappy @brekker-zenik @just-deka @graceknxwlson @the-very-tired-mess TAG LIST (Kaz Brekker): @mufnasa @janesofia7 @stairscortana @parker-natasha @illicitghosts @brick-by-brick553 TAG LIST (New In Town series): @calums-betch add yourself to my tag lists here

The high of successfully stealing something gang members had their eyes on, lasted for at least a week. The necklace was safely hidden away in your room, you didn't want to sell it when everyone would be looking for it.

So you kept working at the bar, sleeping in your little room, waiting for the right time to find a buyer. And then you could find yourself a bigger room to rent, preferably not right above a pub.

Though this job was entirely your idea, and not a job for someone else, you got an adrenaline rush like no other out of it. Whenever you thought back to outsmarting a handful of criminals, you couldn't help but smile to yourself. And so far, no gang members had showed up at the pub, which meant Kaz, Jesper and the others that were with them didn't know it was you.

You tried to talk to your coworkers to find out the best place to sell something valuable, but they couldn't give you the answer you'd hoped for. You figured they'd be on the right side of the law, unlike you.

When they couldn't tell you anything, you went to the streets. Looking at shops, listening to conversations in the hopes you might hear something useful. It took you another week, but you finally found a promising store you could try.

It was a small, dusty antique shop. It was located near the edge of the "good part" of the city, and you were on high alert. You still had your weapons on you, safely hidden beneath your clothes, but you still didn't know Ketterdam as well as you'd like. Better safe than sorry.

The owner of the shop was old and had a crooked nose. You could tell it had been broken at least twice, and had been poorly set back in place. Thankfully, he didn't ask a lot of questions. He paid you handsomely, and the first thing you did when you got back to the pub was tell the owner you would move out.

You found a slightly bigger apartment, in a larger building. There was no pub underneath it, though it was located dangerously close to the Barrel. At least it was clean, and you had a nice view of the street below.

Given that you didn't have many belongings, it took only one trip to move your stuff to your new apartment. While you hadn't done a lot that day, you were still exhausted when you finally lay down in your new bed.

When you wake the next day, you're determined to walk the streets surrounding your new apartment to figure out which are the best escape routes.

The roof looks promising, and you can easily climb down to your room. If someone would be chasing you, you could climb a building and jump from roof to roof until you got to your building.

Behind the apartment complex is a small alley, which leads to a fire escape as well as the back door. The back door is very heavy, but most of the times it isn't locked, so that's a good thing. And you could easily jump up and climb the fire escape to your room.

Plenty of routes to take if you ever got in trouble.

It's not like you often find yourself in a situation which called for escape routes, but you liked to be prepared. And something about Ketterdam told you you'd have to escape a lot more often than you had to in Ravka.

You had quit your job at the pub, not wanting to walk the streets late at night after a shift, and are looking for a new one.

But there wasn't anything nearby, and though the necklace had earned you quite some money, you were slowly running out. You needed a new job, and soon. Otherwise you'd get thrown out of the apartment and you'd be forced to find something else.

Day after day you walk the streets, trying to find a job, but so far no luck. Until one day you see a familiar figure in the distance.

They probably hadn't figured out it was you yet, so there was no harm in walking up to him.

'Jesper!' you say and you jog up to him.

He seems surprised someone calls for him, but smiles when he sees you.

'Hey!' he says. 'You're the bartender, right?'

'I was, yeah.' you say, stopping in front of him. 'I quit.'

'Too many annoying tourists?' he says.

'Something like that.' you say. 'What are you doing here?'

Jesper gestures down the street. 'Just going to the Slat.' he says.

You give him a confused look. 'The Slat?' you ask.

'Oh, it's where we live.' he says. 'The building looks like it can collapse any second but it would be an exciting death. Like a mystery, tall handsome man buried in collapsed building.'

You laugh at his words. Even without having a beer, Jesper seems like a fast talker and genuinely nice company.

'I'll make sure to keep an eye out when I pass it.' you say.

This time, Jesper frowns. 'I've never seen you in the Barrel.' he says.

'You live in the Barrel?' you say, genuinely surprised to hear him say that.

'That's where the Slat is, yes.' he says.

'I don't make it to the Barrel that often.' you say.

'Too many drunks?'

'Too many gangs.'

'You'd be surprised.'

You quickly go over questions in your head, wondering how much you could ask Jesper before getting suspicious. After all, you had to find a job. And if you couldn't find one at a bar or cafe, you had to turn to someone in the Barrel.

'Why do you live in the Barrel anyway?' you say, hoping you don't sound too curious.

Jesper chuckles. 'It's not like there's a lot of different options. It's cheap, and I've been there for years. I don't feel like leaving just yet.'

'If it's cheap, I might have to move there as well.' you say.

'How so?' he says.

'I've been looking for a job, but can't find one. And if I can't pay my rent, well, I'll have to find another place.' you say.

'I'd say come work for Kaz like I do, but I don't suppose you fancy joining a gang?' he says.

You fake an expression of shock on your face. 'Wait, you live in the Barrel because you're part of a gang?' you say.

'What did you think I do for a living?' says Jesper.

'Well, I don't know. Running errands or something.' you say.

Jesper laughs. 'If it makes you feel any better, you can call it that.'

'I wouldn't want to keep you from running any errands.' you say. 'I have to find a job anyway.'

'I'll see you around.' says Jesper with a wink, and he turns and walks off.

You turn around as well but stop when you hear Jesper's voice.

'Hey!' he says.

You keep your face as neutral as possible. Surely he hadn't just figured out you are the one who stole the necklace? You hadn't given him any information besides the fact you moved and quit your job as a bartender.

'I never asked for your name.' he says.

'Y/N.' you smile.

'I'll see you around, Y/N.' says Jesper.

Oh, he'd definitely see you around.

Now that he's confirmed he's part of a gang and works for Kaz, and that he lives in a building called the Slat, you can find out more about the gang he's in.

If Kaz knew about the necklace, you didn't doubt he had more expensive targets on his mind.

It looked like you had to pay more visits to the Barrel.

The next day, instead of looking for a job in a pub or cafe, you head to the Barrel. It's early, and there aren't a lot of people on the streets. You spend the morning walking around, carefully taking in your surroundings.

It didn't seem like a bad neighbourhood to you. Maybe you just had to wait til nightfall.

You walk the streets, looking for the Slat. But all you knew was the vague description Jesper had given you, of a building on the verge of collapsing.

To you, any building looked like that.

When it's almost midday, and your stomach is growling, you've lost count of the many buildings that you think may be the Slat. But then you stop in front of the most crooked building you've seen so far.

Like Jesper said, it looks like it can collapse if you give it a good kick. This had to be it. You look around, there are some people on the streets, but it's not overly crowded.

You'd hang around for a while, not too long, and then you'd head back. You didn't want to risk Jesper spotting you, not a day after he told you where he lived. Or risk Kaz seeing you.

Besides Jesper, he was the only one who would recognise you. And you had a feeling he would still be trying to figure out who took his necklace.

You stay behind, listening to conversations, taking in and remembering the people you see. But today you can't get your hands on any valuable information, so you head back home.

Back in Ravka, you were well known amongst the right people. You were good at your job and it allowed you to pressure clients in giving you the payment you wanted.

But in Ketterdam people didn't know you, and you had to be careful.

Which meant you couldn't march up to someone in the Barrel and demand a job, you had to be patient.

You knew as soon as people found out who you are, you'd have to look over your shoulder every time you left your apartment. On the other hand, it also meant you would get jobs that payed well.

But this isn't Ravka, so you'd have to go back to the Slat tomorrow, to see if you can find out more about Kaz' gang, and its jobs.

Yet again, you are grateful you learned to have patience.

You didn't find a job, but you spend the next few weeks getting to know the people of the Barrel.

By eating only the cheapest - and most horrible - food, you were able to pay the rent of the apartment, even though you didn't have a job.

Your patience was rewarding.

You learned there are a few Dregs - Kaz' gang members - who are Kaz' most trusted members. He calls them Crows. Of course, Jesper is among them.

You've learned he's a sharpshooter, and indeed gambles a lot. You watched him gamble one night, and he lost quite a lot of money. Maybe that's why he couldn't get out of the Barrel; all the money he made, he lost while gambling.

Then there's Inej, a small Suli girl. It took you a while to find things out about her. She had her ways to sneak off so silently, you started to think she was a ghost. You noticed the way she climbed gracefully on roofs, her knives glinstering in the moonlight.

There's Nina, a heartrender. She's very flirtatious, like Jesper. You could think of a number of reasons why it would be useful for Kaz to have a Grisha like Nina with him.

Most of the times, Nina's accompanied by Matthias. One look at him and you knew he was Fjerdan. You didn't know what he was doing so far from home, but apparently he was useful to the gang.

Then there's Wylan, who didn't look like he belonged in the Barrel at all. You figured he was a lost student the first time you saw him. But he kept coming and going from the Slat, so you knew he must live there as well. Often, his shirt or fingers would be stained, and you'd guessed he'd be handling stuff like explosives.

And of course, Kaz himself. You didn't know a lot about him, no matter how hard you tried to find out information on him. All you knew, was he always wore gloves, and always had his cane with him. You knew he was their leader, so he'd probably come up with the targets and plans, but other than that, you didn't know anything about him.

When you've found out as much as you can of each member of the crows, you start to search for information on their jobs. It would be perfect if Jesper and Kaz had a conversation like the one they had in the pub, but they were more careful in the Barrel. You thought it must have something to do with the fact there's more than one gang in the Barrel.

Again, you are patient. And after another week of cheap but gross food, you overhear Wylan talking to Nina about an upcoming job. You follow them at a distance, concentrating on their words.

It seems like Wylan is nervous about the job, and Nina is telling him it'll be alright. You linger long enough to hear it's about a shipment coming in next weekend.

Satisfied with the information you gathered, you head back to your apartment. At least it's something. You have one piece of the puzzle. A shipment next weekend. The next step would be to find out what dock and what time. Then you could make sure you're there before Kaz and the others arrive. And you could finally have a decent meal again.

This time, you have to act quick. The weekend is coming up, and you have to find out a location and time.

You climb your way to the roof of the Slat early in the morning, so no one sees you. You knew Kaz' room is on the top floor, all you have to do is wait.

Occasionally, you doze off while waiting, only to make yourself shake your head to wake yourself up. You didn't want another cheap meal, and this was the first promising information you got.

Finally, around noon, all of your waiting turns out to be useful. You hear Kaz' voice through the open window.

'Now that you're all here, we can go over the plan again.' he says.

Someone groans loudly. 'We all know the plan, Kaz.' It's Nina.

'Then recite it word for word.' says Kaz in a serious voice.

'Fine. But I'll give you the short version so this meeting doesn't go on and on like they always do.' says Nina. You hear how she clears her throat and draw closer to the open window beneath you.

'There's a shipment on Saturday night, arriving at the third dock. It arrives at 11 pm, so we'll be there by 10:30 pm. We snatch the one crate that has jewellery and run off before they can shoot us. There. That's it, now can we go?' says Nina.

'One thing.' says Kaz, and you can hear Nina groan again. 'How do you know which crate to take?'

'It's the one addressed to a merchant named Winston.' says Nina.

'Alright. What about the backup plans?' says Kaz.

'We know those as well, Kaz.' says Jesper quickly. 'Now, can we go?'

'Fine. But I expect you all to be here tomorrow at 9 pm sharp to prepare.' says Kaz.

You hear how chairs are moved and people walk toward the door. Just as you're about to climb down, you see a gloved hand reaching out for the window. You draw your head back just in time before Kaz closes the window.

You hold your breath, waiting for him to go away. After some time, when you're sure he's gone, you climb back down. You almost skip happily in the streets, now you've figured everything out. You couldn't wait to see the look on their faces when once again, their prize became yours.

When it's Saturday evening, you move swiftly toward the dock. There's no one around yet. You find a spot that's well hidden, but you also have easy acces on and off the ship that'll arrive.

You check your watch and just like Nina said, the six of them arrive at 10:30 pm. They don't see you, making you smile to yourself. Maybe you preferred this way of working to accepting jobs from clients. You love to see the looks on their bewildered faces when they realise someone has outsmarted them again.

In the distance, you see the ship slowly approaching the dock. The crows take their places, hiding in the shadows just like you. But when the ship has docked and the crows are waiting for the goods to be loaded onto the dock, you climb aboard the ship, looking for the crate.

There's bigger ones, but you find a small one near the back that has the name Winston stamped on it. You open it quietly, making sure to stay out of sight. You begin to load your pockets with the shining jewellery, and then you leave the ship just as quickly as you boarded it.

You go back to your hiding space even though you could already go home. When the crows make their moves, you see how they switch the crates, and then wait for everyone else to leave.

Wylan opens the crate and you can hear Jesper curse loudly.

'It's fucking empty.' says Jesper.

Upon hearing his words, Kaz walks over to Wylan and looks over his shoulder.

'It should be here.' he says.

'Got a backup plan for when the crate is empty?' says Nina.

Kaz is silent, looking at the crate. 'My information was correct.' he says, looking at the others as if they know more than he does. 'I trust the source. We got played.'

Suddenly, he looks up, narrowing his eyes and focusing on something in the distance. 'Again.' he says slowly. 'Someone's messing with us. First that necklace, now a crate full of them. Someone has been selling information.'

'You don't know that, don't start jumping to conclusions.' says Inej. 'Maybe your source isn't as reliable as you think.'

'They are reliable.' says Kaz, clearly frustrated. 'We'll get another job. Let's just go.'

You smile to yourself, feeling the weight of the jewellery in your pockets. If only Kaz knew you were planning on taking much more from right under his nose.

On your way back to your apartment, you can't stop thinking about the looks on their faces. Sure, they were smart, and Kaz is good at making plans. But you are great at ruining them. You wonder how long you can keep this game going, and how rich it would make you.

And now you know you can listen to their meetings from a spot on the roof, you're already excited about their next job.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

Headcanon of Mc and her beloved little pet

hello, I love your writing!. Reading texts from you helps me a lot! Could you please write hcs or stories for Mitsunari and Mitsuhide with MC who has a little dog Yukiko whom she loves like a child? The doggie would be well behaved but timid and MC would be very protective over it and give it a lot of her attention

Hey there love! Thank you so much for your kind words @nairil-daeris ! I’m so glad I was able to brighten your day in someway or another, makes me so happy! I am only to happy to write an HC including my two fav Mitsus!<3 

 lol side note i wrote this in second person cause it feels more personal that way ^_^. Also to all those who submitted match ups.... i am going to move house tomorrow so i most likely wont get to writing them until the weekend! Thanx so much for your patiences guys❤! Also please stay safe during this time of chaos <3 Hope u guys enjoy my 3rd attempt at writing an HC😂🙈

 Mitsunari

Your birthday was coming up, and Mitsunari was trying to figure out the best gift to get you. He knew you were slightly jealous of the fact that all the warlords had a pet to love and care for, and you didn’t. You’ve also wanted a little pet to play and snuggle with when Mitsunari was off to war. You know, to keep you company.

Mitsunari had made up his mind to get you your own little pet. He and Kitty hit the markets to find the perfect companion to expand you, little family. Honestly, Mitsunari couldn’t find what he was looking for and started walking back to his manor, feeling a little discouraged. When all of a sudden, kitty jumped out of his arms and ran straight onto someone’s property. Mitsunari looked down in horror when he saw a sweet little black dog chained to a post, starving. Mitsunari looked at kitty and said, “It looks like you’ve found us the perfect addition to our family kitty.” Mitsunari cut the pup free, picked up the two animals, and walked back home with the biggest grin on his face.

He cleaned the little dog up and waited for you to come home. He was positively buzzing with excitement and anticipation. When he heard your footsteps, he quickly placed the doggo in a big box and called you over to come and open your birthday present. You opened the box and instantly lost your heart. You proceeded to very dramatically lift the pup out of the box, and Lion King style lifted her up into the air over your head while loudly singing “Nants ingonyama bagithi baba, Sithi uhm ingonyama” *into to lion king’s circle of life song*. You then proclaimed her name to be Yukiko.

You treated this sweet little dog like a princess. You would bath and groom her and place the cutest little bows in her hair. You would spend hours with her in your lap, stroking her soft fur while you read. Everywhere you went, little Yukiko followed. You even learned from Masamune how to make special dog food just for her.

You were extremely overprotective of your timid little dog and would scold anyone who dare come too close to her. Once day little Yukiko tracked some mud into the castle hallway while looking for you and unfortunate bumped into Hideyoshi. Hideyoshi was not impressed; in a slightly raised tone, he was about to scold the dog when suddenly she yelled and ran away with her tail between her legs. Needless to say, you gave Hideyoshi an earful for scaring your little pup.

Mitsunari wasn’t a jealous lover, but he did miss having your undivided attention. It wasn’t until he saw you playing with Yukiko laughing without a care in the world while she licked your face, that he started to feel a little neglected. That night his sweet lil angel hugged you tight while Yukiko was out playing on the grass and asked you if you still loved him.

You were super confused! Of course, you still loved him, you never stopped. 

You looked up at him and started peppering his face with small kisses until that bright, radiant smile that you love was back on his face. Since then, you made sure to snuggle and cuddle with Mitsunari just as much as Yukiko.

Mitsuhide

The two of you were enjoying a pleasant stroll in the market. Suddenly out of nowhere, there was a downpour. The two of you ran hand in hand to take cover in the nearest teahouse to wait out the storm. All of a sudden, Mitsuhide stopped and narrowed his eyes to look down one of the alleyways. You looked up at him in confusion, while straining your ears to figure out what could have made him stop so abruptly in such a big storm. He started walking down the alleyway to get a closer look, and that’s when you saw her. A pitch-black poodle shivering under a makeshift shelter. Mitsuhide picked up the little creature by the scruff of its neck and gave it a look over. You looked at Mitsuhide and squeezed his hand while pleading with your eyes to keep the little pup. Who was he to say no to his sweet little mouse? He cradled the little doggo in his arm and continued on his route with you to find shelter from the rest of the storm.

By the time the three of you got home, you were absolutely drenched. After a warm bath and a change of clothes, you now sat in front of Mitsuhide, while he dried your hair. Sitting in front of you was the little pup whose hair you were busy drying. “so little mouse, whatever shall the new addition to our family’s name be.” You looked back at him, gave him the most dazzling smile, while proudly proclaiming, “her name is to be Yukiko, cause I have a feeling she is going to bring tons of happiness into our lives.” He smiled back at you and thought about how he loved seeing you so excited and happy. He kissed your nose and continued to dry your hair.

That night as you were about to drift off to sleep, you heard a little cry. You looked over at Mitsuhide, who was fast asleep and smiled to yourself. You then got up and walk towards the direction of the sound. You opened the door and saw your little pup. You smiled at your new baby and at the fit she was throwing because she wanted to be in the same room as her two new parents. You picked her up and sat down in the corner of the room, not wanting to disturb Mitsuhide’s sleep. You then started nuzzled into Yukiko’s silky soft fur and cuddled with her until you fell asleep. Mitsu woke abruptly and started reaching out for you, only to discover you were missing from his side. He began to panic when he felt how cold your side of the bed was. He narrowed his eyes and looked around the darkroom. He spotted his lovely little mouse and sweet little Yukiko sitting dead still in the corner of the room. As he approached you, he noticed you were slumped over and fast asleep. Yukiko gave him her best puppy dog eyes as if to ask, “please don’t put me in the other room again.” Mitsuhide looked at your face and saw a small smile, most likely from having the pup snuggled in your arms, he could never deny his beloved any request sleeping or awake. Mitsu just smiles at the pup and pet her head. He kissed you on the forehead, nose, and then cheek. He picked the pair of you up and tucked you back into the futon.

Yukiko became like your child. You doted like crazy on this sweet pup. Teaching her all sorts of little tricks like delivering the warlords mail or even playing dead to mess with Ieyasu. You couldn’t help but feel the need to protect your timid baby from all the scary things in the world. Speaking of scary things, cue Mitsuhide entering the room. You would tug on Mitsuhide’s ear and scold him for continually trying to scare your timid pup. He found it so amusing how the smallest sound would send the pipsqueak running for the hills. Definitely worth the hour-long lecture he received from you.

It’s been a week since you and Mitsuhide had adopted Yukiko, and gosh Mitsuhide was starting to get jealous. You spent all your time with the little dog, and TBH he started feeling a bit neglected. Not to mention the fact that you were super overprotected of her. You wouldn’t even let him pat her anymore as punishment for teasing her so much in the past.

So Mitsuhide devised a plan, each day, he would give the pup extreme amounts of love and attention. He must admit he truly loved the little dog almost as much as you did. It was finally time to play out his plan to win back his little mouse’s attention. He low key wanted you to feel how it felt to be ignored and be second best when it came to cuddles.

 He told you how he felt like the dog had taken all your love and affection and that he was starting to feel a lil neglected. All while having the sweetest little blush on his face. Before you could even say a thing, he continued in saying that the two of you were now going to play a game to see who the dog loved most.

 If the dog came to him first, he would win and, you would have to tone it down on the over-protectiveness AND give him back all your attention. If the dog ran to you first, you would win, and he would admit he was wrong and adapt to this new lifestyle. 

You knew you had this contest in the bag but made a mental note regardless of Mitsuhide’s feelings. You knew this silly game was just a way for him to be honest with you about how he felt. Yukiko was then placed in the center of the room while Mitsuhide moved the opposite side. 3….2….1… GO. Both of you called out to Yukiko in your most enthusiastic voices. You couldn’t help but chuckle a little, at Mitsu’s unusually high-pitched voice trying to catch Yukiko’s attention.

At the end of this little game, you both had lost! Yukiko decided to choose Chimaki, Mitsuhide’s little fox. Yukiko ignored the both of you, walked over to where the fox was resting on the futon and joined him. The both of you looked up at the other and smile in defeat. You two couldn’t help but look and cooed over how sweet the two pets looked snuggled up together.

Mitsu couldn’t help but think at that moment, that the two pets represented you two. One pure white as snow and the other black as the night, a yin to a yang. At the end of the day, you came to a compromise, and now you would sit between Mitu’s legs with his chin resting on your shoulder. His arms would be snaked tight around your waist. He would then occasionally kiss your neck, shoulder, or cheek in these cuddles as a sign of his appreciation and affection. You couldn’t be happier in the arms of the man you loved so dearly while having your two precious children sleeping in your lap. You would just sit there while stoking the two pets and bask in the pure love and happiness of your little family.

120 xicheng?

This is an au I was toying with at work, where Wei Wuxian has time-wielding powers and Jiang Cheng is responsible for sewing the clothing he wears during these time jumps. It’s set in a similar timeline to the orignial story, though the Jiangs and Lans are not close allies. The Jiang have still fallen, but Jiang Cheng does not rebuild, and because the Jins are judgemental pricks, Jin Zixuan follows Jiang Yanli and the two crazy brothers with Jin Ling in tow into the unknown.

This also maybe got out of hand word-count wise, whoops.

Prompt is from this list here! (yes I’m still taking these lol, oh boy)

Prompt 120 | “I can’t stay long.” | Xicheng

He wasn’t sure who had been more surprised, in the end: Wei Wuxian, who’d managed to strong-arm his way into the patronage of the most prestigious and rich Clans in the country, or the Lans themselves, who’d taken his claims of time-wielding magic with thinly veiled disdain and had been utterly - and magnificently - proven wrong.

For Jiang Cheng, it didn’t matter much, only that Elder Sister and her husband and son had a warm, safe place to live and Wei Wuxian had his chance to itch that heroic itch he’d never been able to fully scratch. His brother lived to exceed expectations and he was very much doing that here, with the eyes of the most important mages, shamans, and scholars in the world now dependent on his skills.

Jiang Cheng lived for quiet, for moments where he could sit and sew and soak in the sound of Elder Sister’s singing, or Wei Wuxian practicing his flute, or his nephew giggling from under the coil of priceless silk he’d turned into an impromptu tent. Even his brother-in-law’s artful work with a blade and a sharpening stone had started to become the perfect background noise, not that Jiang Cheng would ever admit such a thing to that preening peacock’s face. Jin Zixuan had earned his place of respect in Jiang Cheng’s life as Elder Sister’s love, husband, and protector. If it weren’t for the way he looked at her like she’d hung the moon, even so many years on, Jiang Cheng would have left him far behind long ago and encouraged Elder Sister to do the same.

But they were all they had now, each other. No great family lands to inherit. No family ties to claim. They’d left tragedy and judgment behind them to live as they wanted, and that had led them here.

It wasn’t easy work, but not difficult either. Elder Sister’s job was arguably the hardest of all of them, having to coach Wei Wuxian on his speech and mannerisms to better fit in during his time jumps, all while teaching Jin Ling his letters and numbers. Jin Zixuan, a former heir and still a gentleman, spent his days overseeing the imported goods coming into GusuLan, and those going out.

Wei Wuxian’s was the easiest, of course. He just had to be a hero. And to do that, Jiang Cheng’s had to clothe him properly and do it fast enough that the Lan’s did not lose patience and remove them. (Not that he thought they would. They prided themselves with patience, but they also prided themselves as above greed and he’d seen the way they’d stared at Wei Wuxian in clear avarice, so he wasn’t taking any chances.)

Tedious, monotonous, boring. But it was work, honest work, and it meant food for his nephew as well as a warm bed for Elder Sister, and that was all that mattered to him.

He was generally left alone in the rooms given to him by the Lan for him to sew and live in. Jin Ling was his most usual visitor after Wei Wuxian and that morning was no different. As Jiang Cheng sewed down a line of stitches in the collar of Wei Wuxian’s newest garment, the train-end had been overtaken by a giggling five year old, who occasionally peeked out at him under the hem, only to disappear with a squeal.

It was moments like this that made it all worth it. Not rebuilding his father’s legacy, not claiming his rightful place as a leader. Here, he was just an uncle, a brother, a mage. A tailor. And a damn good one, too.

“I hear a mouse,” Jiang Cheng mused, as though to himself, and waved a hand for his measuring string to uncoil from the desk and fly over. He triple-checked the measurements, calculated perfectly to Wei Wuxian’s shoulders and chest, and tucked in the next line of fabric that needed pinning. “I thought I was entertaining my nephew, not a rodent.”

“Not a rodent, jiu-jiu,” Jin Ling argued from under the silk. Priceless silk in patterns of black and red. Jiang Cheng should really not be allowing the boy to jostle it so, but it wasn’t his expense to spend, so he let Jin Ling do what he wanted with it, short of letting him put any inch of it in his mouth, or tearing it. All other damage he could fix and Jin Ling’s messes were nothing compared to the chaos he called brother.

“No? Then who is hiding under there?” Jiang Cheng took a moment to stretch and crack his neck, before kneeling down to pull up the hem. “A mouse, or a nephew?”

“Jiu-jiu!” He was leapt on with a cheerful giggle. “See? Not a mouse.”

“Not a mouse,” Jiang Cheng agreed and poked the boy’s nose. His mother’s nose and a very dear shape at that. “Did you find anything fun under there?”

Jin Ling thought on that a moment. “A dragon,” he decided.

“A dragon?” Jiang Cheng glanced down at the very same creature printed into the silk with a small smile. “Was it a big dragon?”

“Big,” Jin Ling nodded and flung his arms out wide. “This big, jiu-jiu.”

“Oh, a very big dragon then,” Jiang Cheng nodded too, like that was some great wisdom. “A prince of dragons, surely.”

“King of dragons,” Jin Ling countered, nose in the air. “Prince dragons are small dragons, jiu-jiu.”

It was a physical pain, some times, just how much he loved this boy. He chucked Jin Ling’s chin and stood again, fingers tugging at the end of the boy’s braid, woven to match his own. “Of course, of course. How could I forget?”

“Master Jiang? Is this perhaps a bad time?”

Jiang Cheng turned to the voice and was startled to see the First Jade of Lan standing in the doorway of his work space. Like some painted god from Elder Sister’s scrolls, he seemed ethereal and so poorly out of place amidst the chaos of fabric on the floor that Jiang Cheng wanted to snort at his lost expression. He settled for a much safer bow, low and proper.

“Zewu-jun, to what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked, surprised that Lan Xichen actually returned the bow, as though Jiang Cheng were anyone worth bowing to anymore. “If you’re looking for Wei Wuxian -”

“Ah, no, no,” Lan Xichen said hurriedly, smiling a sweet smile when Jin Ling hid behind Jiang Cheng and peeked out at him, eyes wide. “Master Wei is with my brother, at present. I cannot stay for long, but I was hoping to see…”

He trailed off and a new light lit his eyes, boyish almost, hopeful, and truly awed. Jiang Cheng had never seen anyone give such a look to his clothing before and he felt heat crawling up his neck almost immediately. Ridiculous. “Hoping to see what, Zewu-jun?”

Lan Xichen glanced back his way, but did not lose any of that wonder. If anything, he looked at Jiang Cheng like he was just as special as the beautiful robes beside him.

“The garments,” Lan Xichen admitted, gesturing almost shyly at them. “I have never seen their like. I’ve been curious about you since the moment I first saw Master Wei in that first dynasty robe. Your work is… truly exquisite.”

Jiang Cheng stared at him in disbelief and felt a pleased, if mortifying, flush start from the top of his head and go straight down to his toes. Thankfully, he was saved from having to find some sort of answer to that by Jin Ling, ever coming to his rescue. “Jiu-jiu,” he whispered, which meant it was barely hushed. “What does that word mean?”

“It means beautiful, little one,” Lan XIchen answered in his stead, dark eyes roving Jiang Cheng up and down and flustering him further. “Beautiful and intricate and absolutely lovely.”

“Oh.” Jin Ling looked up at Jiang Cheng’s red face, then back to Lan Xichen. He grinned. “You are exquisite too,” he told the man, because five year olds had no sense of shame, apparently.

A gentle laugh, like the First Jade of Lan was truly flattered by such a statement, barely even pronounced correctly as it was. What a madman. “I thank you, Young Master Jin.”

“Did you want a robe?” Jiang Cheng managed to breathe out before Jin Ling could fully adopt Lan Xichen right then and there, torn between wanting the man to leave and wanting him to stay so Jiang Cheng could get his hands all over him in the name of making him something beautiful to wear. “A first century one?”

“I- oh.” Lan Xichen seemed to be the thrown one now, which felt like a victory. A fetching red bit at his ears and neck, stark against the brilliant white and blue robes he wore. “I… I wouldn’t want to trouble you.”

These Lans, so hesitant to want things. Jiang Cheng snorted and snapped back to himself, waving his hand for a new coil of measuring knots to fly into. “No trouble. Just need to get your measurements.”

“Oh…” Lan Xichen looked him over like he was a true wonder, which was hardly the case. It was just a bit of fabric, after all. “I have a meeting I must go to, but perhaps… I can come later tonight?”

It wasn’t a proposition, but Jiang Cheng felt a curious want lit inside him, to take the time to fluster this man, see under that perfect Lan serenity and beauty. It was in his nature to build beautiful things from scratch, after all, and to deconstruct a garment from outside to inside was a talent Jiang Cheng had cultivated well over the years. In many ways, Lan Xichen was no different from the clothes he’d sewn, lovely in form, delicate in movement. He wondered, suddenly, what he would see in Lan Xichen’s underneath, in the stitches holding the seams together, the hidden folds and creases and colors. He wondered if Lan Xichen would let him.

It wasn’t a proposition, but Jiang Cheng felt the challenge anyway, and smiled a smile he hoped was invitation enough. “Tonight. I’ll be waiting.”

1057

survey by lets-make-surveys

1 - When was the last time you had a roast dinner? What kind of meat or vegetarian option did you have with it? That’s not really a thing we do here, but for our noche buena dinner we did have roast chicken with rosemary as one of our dishes. It was surrounded with bangus (milkfish), lumpia with cheese, callos, baked macaroni with cheese, and mashed potatoes with gravy. My family has never been traditional when it comes to Christmas food and I’ve never tried hamon or queso de bola.

2 - When was the last time you drove or travelled for over an hour? Where did you go? It is for sure going to be today because we’ll be driving to Laguna to visit my dad’s family wearing our face masks, face shields, equipped with alcohol and hand sanitizer, and ready to follow social distancing.

3 - What’s your favourite kind of coffee to order (eg. cappuccino, latte etc.)? I’ve been ordering caramel macchiato in the last...6–7 years. If a coffee shop doesn’t serve it, the next thing I go for is whatever sounds like the sweetest drink on their menu, like a chocolate chip truffle frappe or something like that.

4 - When you get old, are you going to let your hair go grey or dye it instead? I will probably dye it for a bit, like what my grandma used to do. But I guess it’ll also depend; I might end up liking grey hair and not feel the need to change how it looks.

5 - What genre was the last book you read? Was it any good? I can’t remember which one it was but it was definitely a wrestler’s memoir; I must’ve read around four this year. The best ones I read are always of Chris Jericho since he has fantastic stories but he also knows how to write well. A lot of wrestlers have great stories, but are so-so in writing.

6 - Did you ever wear braces on your teeth? Yeah, briefly from the end of middle school to freshman year of high school. I need to get braces again, though.

7 - When was the last time you were relieved about something? What caused you to feel that way? Continued from earlier today. We brought both dogs to my dad’s family’s place today and I was glad that they were fast asleep on our drive back home and that neither felt bad and puked.

8 - Where was the last place you went that required you to wear a mask? Are you used to having to wear one now? Everyone is required to wear masks as long as they find themselves outdoors, period. I wear one even if I’m just walking one of my dogs in our backyard. I’m definitely more used to it now, compared to months ago when I had just started going out again and would be forgetful when it came to masks.

9 - How often do you receive calls from unknown numbers? Do you ever answer them? I get them a lot more often now that I’m working and have to coordinate with third-party people...I get unknown numbers once or twice a week. As much as it irritates me, I have no choice but to answer all of them now.

10 - What’s your favourite condiment to have with sausages or hot dogs (or the vegetarian equivalent)? Whenever I have a sausage/hotdog in a bun, I’d be glad to simply have mayonnaise on it.

11 - Which fictional character can you relate to the most? Is this a character from film, TV or a book? Monica Geller from Friends.

12 - Do you groom your eyebrows? If so, how? Nah, haven’t in a long time. It’s just not something I’ve ever particularly cared about. Whenever I have to, I just shave them. I also haven’t had a trichotillomania episode with my eyebrows, which is a relieving thing to realize.

13 - Did you get “told off” for anything the last time you went to the dentist or was everything okay? My last trip went smoothly. I just had a tooth extracted and there wasn’t really anything to reprimand me for since the tooth was already damaged.

14 - Would you rather get a starter or dessert? Have always been more of a savory girl than sweet, so I’ll go with the starter.

15 - Have you ever been involved with the police? Did you find them to be helpful? I mean...I guess? Kind of? I wasn’t arrested by any means, but I was a journalism student, so *shrug* pretty self-explanatory lol. There was one time in one class where we were all required to write a story covering the police beat, so I had to stay at a police station in Manila and wait for any tips or leads to come in. I was in freshman year and was absolutely scared, but I did have a classmate/friend with me ‘cause we were in the same class and she needed a lead as well.

16 - Are you tired at the moment? Is there a specific reason you feel that way? I am extremely tired and would pass out in a second if I let myself. But I had been out all day and didn’t have the chance to do anything I wanted to do whether it was doing embroidery, watching 2 Days 1 Night, or taking a survey, so I’m making up for all the lost time and powering through this survey.

17 - Are you big on colour coordination? Does that just apply to your outfits or to the rest of your life as well? It rarely comes to mind. It’s not something I feel the need to maintain, precisely because I’m very inconsistent with maintenance. Even though I know I possess the necessary effort and patience to organize a group of items by color, I also know it would be disorganized in less than a week.

18 - What shoes did you last wear? How long have you had them? Puma sneakers. Yep, I’ve had them for the past two years.

19 - When was the last time you wore make-up? What kind of make-up was it? September, for my first job interview. My items were simple; just an eyeliner pencil and some lip gloss.

20 - Have you ever slipped or skidded on the ice? Did you end up getting hurt? Continued from last night because I’ve been so sloppy at taking surveys lately, loooool. I’ve slipped a few times on ice skating rinks before. I don’t know if it’s the same experience, but whenever it happened to me I usually felt more embarrassed than hurt. It only hurt quite a bit when the cause of my fall was crashing into someone on the rink.

21 - Do you wear glasses or contacts? I wear glasses, but I already need to change mine since my eyesight has gotten worse and the lens that are on my current pair aren’t for me anymore.

22 - Do you own any photo albums? Are they dedicated to special occasions or just a random selection of photos? My mom made several photo albums for her kids from our childhood days so each of us have lots of photos from age 0 to about 7 or 8. I haven’t made a photo album just for myself, though I really should. Making memories with a film camera and having them developed still sounds very appealing to me.

23 - What was the last reason for you using a spoon? I was mixing my coffee to make sure all the granules are mixed into the water.

24 - Did your state/region go into lockdown or similar back when Covid hit in March? What did you do to pass the time while you were stuck at home? Of course. I would be more surprised to hear of a city or region anywhere in the world that did not go into lockdown. March was a livelier, more optimistic time, so I tried out lots of new things while the lockdown was still fresh and no one had any clue for how long it would actually pan out, and continue to pan out until the literal end of the year. I played the Switch for longer hours, tried making dalgona coffee, watched Descendants of the Sun, pulled more all-nighters, revisited computer games from my childhood, and did my thesis chapter by chapter with Andi.

25 - What’s your favourite meal of the day - breakfast, lunch or dinner? In my family, lunch and dinner are very identical so I’d go with either of them.

26 - Who was the last person you texted? How do you know that person? I have not touched my phone in a while, believe it or not...I haven’t needed it much during the holiday break. I think it was my cousin? He’s a relative, so I’ve known him since birth.

27 - What was the last thing you put in a sandwich? A hotdog.

28 - What was the reason behind the last time you shouted or raised your voice? I was at my dad’s family’s last night and I had ordered four boxes of empanadas from their business, and I was trying to hand over the P500 bill to my aunt (the total was like P300, but I gave them bonus to serve as my treat and my gift). I kept trying to give it and she kept rejecting it and putting it back in my pocket hahaha, so it became like a game for me to see which tiny space in the house I can squeeze the bill in so she can stop retorting. It turned into a funny cat and mouse situation and I ended up raising my voice a few times.

29 - Are you a citizen of more than one country? Would you ever use that advantage to move abroad? No.

30 - Do you know how to change a tyre? Could you do it without help? HAH, no. I am fucked if it ever happens and when it does, I really hope luck would be on my side that day and have a kind stranger that knows how to change tyres walk or drive by.

Survey #114

“oh yeah, i’m a reaper man; every good thing, i kill it dead.”

What kind of makeup do you think is appropriate for church?  Who cares.  Wear what you want; I don't see how your makeup affects God's opinion on you while in His house. What would you wear to church?  I don't dress up for the same reason as above.  I just wear my usual. Would/do you like having brown eyes? I like having blue eyes.  It's not that brown isn't pretty, it's just so common. What kind of gift would you appreciate for your birthday? I'm just asking for money again.  Can already go see Sara, time to work towards the tattoo. What do you use Facebook for?  My main reason is legit funny pictures lmao.  There's few people I'm actually actively interested in keeping up with. Would you rather be called a geek, a nerd or a dork?  A geek is 100% a compliment lol. Do you like pretzels? Soft ones, yes.  Especially the ones from those little shops at malls, omgggg.  I'd prefer to not eat hard ones. You want your next pet to be what? A bearded dragon.  Or two rats. Would you spend 20 dollars on a candle?  Ha.  No. What is the goriest thing you’ve seen in real life? There was a deer that died directly beside the road leading to our old house and it was decaying.  I still remember all the maggots squirming around in its side. @_@ Do you take any meds? If so which and why?  Mood stabilizers, anxiety med, something for nausea if one of my mood stabilizers causes it, Melatonin, something for heartburn, and birth control unless I want my uterus to tear me apart from the inside. Is "no glove, no love" your STRICT policy?  If I actually was to have sex, yes.  Even with me on the pill, I'm not taking any risks.  Not getting pregnant. If someone breaks a law, should they be punished if they did not know it was a law?  Depends on the law. Name a band you sort of like:  What a thing to admit, but Blood on the Dance Floor.  I like some of their songs, while others are just too repulsive. In your head do you call yourself 'I’ or 'you’ or both?  Usually "you," and always when I'm trying to calm or reassure myself, because it's like hearing validation of something from another person. Someone tells you 'well there are black people, and then there are (removed term bc fuck that word)’. What do you think?  My former friend used to say that and I fucking hated it. Who REALLY has a higher sex drive, girls or guys? How can you tell?  I might be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure there's science behind men having more of a libido. Do you enjoy wild parties?  I literally could never. Have you ever been stereotyped? As what?  I was called both emo and goth in high school.  It wasn't offensive to me personally, but I don't think I totally fit any stereotype. Who do you know that you believe does not masturbate?  I don't for a number of reasons, and I can name a few others I'm pretty sure don't. Does a cloned human being have a soul? Why or why not?  explosion.gif Who looks better naked, men or woman?  Women.  I'm bi, yes, but penises look fucking disgusting to me personally. Is there anything you won’t say unless someone else says it first?  Nothing immediately comes to mind. What’s your favorite type of doughnut? Either glazed or cake (the totally plain ones). Do you have any candles in your bedroom? Do you light them often?  No, I have an incense burner.  I use it often enough. What is your least favorite thing about your full name?  I just don't like my last name, and my middle name's too common, but at least I like the name itself. What’s your favorite kind of Poptart?  Probably the chocolate sundae one.  But I don't like Poptarts much. Do you think you look good with a hat on? I can't remember the last time I wore a hat. Are there some songs you can’t listen to because they remind you of something? "The Mortician's Daughter" and "Stairway to Heaven." Do you live near a street light?  No. Do you wear any rings? A red gem one I got from Mom, then a "bitch/jerk" friendship ring (Supernatural reference) with my girlfriend. Do you put collars on your cats? When we had cats, yeah. Do you like celery?  Ew no. Did you cry while watching the Notebook?  I've never sobbed at a movie, but I cried, yeah.  I've cried in subsequent watches too lmao.  I think I've always teared up, actually. Do you have a protective mom and dad?  Mom's extremely protective of me.  I'd say Dad's pretty normal. What field trip did you last go on?  Probably for a band competition in high school. Five ways to win your heart:  Uhhh.  Show compassion, patience, generosity, wisdom, and maturity. Your views on mainstream music:  It's getting too vulgar to be on the radio.  I firmly believe children don't need to hear profanity (they don't know when it's inappropriate to use) or talk of sex, and songs just have so much censorship yet lack thereof now.  If you're going to censor almost an entire song, why the hell play it?  Then some songs are so clearly about sex or just openly say the word that it bothers me.  I wouldn't wanna explain what sex is to say my like five-year-old if they heard some of the shit on the radio and asked questions. Put your iPod on shuffle and write that 10 first songs that play: 1.) "Clocks" by Coldplay, 2.) "Paradise City" by Guns N' Roses, 3.) "Blessed With a Curse" by Bring Me the Horizon, 4.) "Let It Die" by Starset, 5.) "I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance, 6.) "Animals" by Nickelback, 7.) "Shoots and Ladders" by Korn, 8.) "Divinity Statue" from DMC3, 9.) "Float On" by Modest Mouse, 10.) "This Is Gospel" by Panic! at the Disco. A quote you try to live by: "Life's hard.  Shouldn't you be, too?"  ... It's not meant to be an innuendo. How do you know when someone thinks you’re attractive?  I would literally have to be told lmao. Which one of your relationships was the shortest?  Two weeks and it was fucking stupid. Which was the longest?  Almost four years. If you want to get married, what age? I don't have a set age in mind.  Just whenever my s/o and I are ready. What did you end up getting for Christmas? A PS2 after mine broke years ago ahhhh, way too much money from my dad, his wife, and my grandpa, a "meerkat lover" street sign, a meerkat puzzle I'mma do and frame for my room, some pajama pants, an iHome for my iPod, Pikachu and Grumpy Cat plushies that're too cute, among other things that aren't coming to mind rn. Do you think buying underwear/bras at Victoria’s Secret is a waste?  Meh, mixed feelings.  Like they are way too expensive for some damn bras and underwear, but if they make you feel more confident or pretty in your body, buy them. Do you like glittery things? Usually. Do you like Red Lobster?  It used to be my favorite restaurant, but after I got sick after eating there, I haven't gone since.  Even though I was feeling sick before we went, it's just an association thing. What are you most scared of?  Relapse, losing certain people. Favorite video game?  "Silent Hill 2" Do you believe that leaving a significant other for someone else is ever a good idea?  YUP. because if you loved the first person, you wouldnt even consider the second.  <<<< This. Do you have any possessions that you’re very attached to, and you’d be absolutely devastated if you damaged or lost them? Absolutely devastated... the little rock I got from my partial hospitalization at Holly Hill.  When someone "graduates," you pick a shiny rock from a jar that gets passed around the room for your "classmates" to wish you well and say anything they'd like to say about you while they hold it.  I cherish that thing so much. What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done, and you got away with it? I guess have oral entirely naked on the old chaise in the living room.  But we were home alone. How much do you want to weigh?  I was totally happy at 120, but I was fine at 140.  Supposedly I should be like 130-something. If you HAD to do your holiday shopping for EVERYONE in only ONE store what store would you pick?  Uh probably Walmart lmao. Do you believe that guns don’t kill people and that people kill people? Why?  People kill people, and that's coming from someone afraid of guns.  You have a choice where you're pointing that thing. What is the difference between a good poem and a bad one?  I don't like ones that are virtually impossible to understand. Which do you need more: sugar, caffeine, alcohol, drugs, sex, sleep?  I'm addicted to caffeine, I can't go two days without it. @_@ Who is someone you know should deserve more respect?  Ha, my Dad from my mom. What movie would you like to see again, that you haven’t watched since you were a kid?  The first movie that came to mind was "Shiloh." Are birds happy in cages? Are pets happy indoors?  I truly doubt birds are happy in cages, but maybe if they have enough entertainment and it's big enough?  But I'm sure like dogs and cats are fine indoors considering a whole house is much bigger.  Though I think bigger dogs especially need to be let out to run around sometimes. Hula hoops or jump ropes?  Jump ropes.  Loved it as a kid.  Now my knees would murder me. Can you understand sign language?  No.  But I remember learning this song in elementary school that we had to sing and do sign language to, but I don't remember any of it. Does anyone in your family hunt?  Nicole, my little sister. How about fish? Me and Dad, maybe his dad. Do you pronounce the "l" in salmon?  No. Have you ever gotten stuck on an amusement park ride? Thank Christ no. Have you ever seen an albino animal?  Maybe?  I've seen a white alligator, but it technically wasn't albino. Have you ever tried summoning Bloody Mary?  No. When is the last time you consumed alcohol? New Year's Eve.  I drank a margarita way too fast but felt nothing because my alcohol tolerance is God-Tier. ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ  (Though I like never drink.) Do you ever judge people based on if they believe in God or not? No. Are you sometimes scared to express your opinions in fear of what others might think? Y U P Do you ‘bless’ strangers when they sneeze? Sometimes. Would you rather go to a University or a community college?  The latter if they offered good classes.  It's cheaper, and you can still get a worthy degree. What’s your favorite kind of bread?  Pumpernickel. What toppings do you like on your pizza?  Only jalapenos or pepperoni. What color or design does your shower curtain have?  It's just white. What color is your microwave?  Black. Could you ever give yourself a shot?  If I had to, yeah. Have you ever been so embarrassed that you cried?  Story of my life. How many people have told you they were in love with you?  One. Would you ever have sex with the last person you texted?  Well, we're both girls, so actual sex would be psychically impossible, but I'd do as close as we could to it if she made it very clear she wanted to. Does it bother you when people don’t answer questions with exact answers?  Yes, especially if I'm asking them a question about needing validation for something.  Don't be vague. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin?  I usually do so I know exactly when it's coming.  And if I'm getting my blood drawn, I watch it for whatever reason. @_@ Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo? Yes. Do you like strawberry and banana smoothies?  Strawberry.  I doubt I'd like banana. Do you know someone that is mute, deaf or blind? My sister Ashley is literally blind in one eye, I think her right?  For the other two, idk. What’s your favorite horror movie? I really like both "Blair Witch Project"s, as well as "The Crazies." Is it true that people with depression CAN’T function in society?  Sometimes, absolutely. Can you think of any person or group you cannot empathise with?  Pedophiles, rapists, racists, abusive people, homophobes, the list goes on. Do you want to get married? If so, what color will your dress be? It'll be either black, white, or ivory, idk. Do you like peanut butter and fluff sandwiches?  NO. Do you play video games? If so, what kind?  Yes, just about exclusively story-based ones that usually involve horror.  But I like many others, so long there's actually plot to it. How old is your oldest and youngest friend?  Oldest is like... 32, youngest is 17, I think. How weight conscious are you?  Only extremely. Stripes or polka dots? Polka dots. What was your first word?  "Dada" What's a show that you absolutely refuse to watch?  "13 Reasons Why" Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? 7th grade. Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before?  I'm actually not sure.  I don't think so.  If it did, Mom never told us. Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls?  Yes, until I think a dirty needle was found in one of McDonald's ball pits. Do you think biting is weird or sexy? I like it so long you don't leave a mark in an obvious spot. Do you have a class ring?  No. What type of internet browser are you using?  Chrome. How long do your showers typically last? Not even ten minutes. Can you cry on cue?  No. Were you a Nancy Drew reader when you were younger?  No. Are you the kind of person that takes pictures with a drink in your hand?  No, and quite frankly, it's obnoxious.  You're getting intoxicated.  Congrats. Do either of your parents have a mental illness?  Mom has depression, and she says Dad's bipolar, but I absolutely don't see it now that they're divorced. When you were growing up, did your family rent or own your home?  Own. When was the last time you wore a full face of makeup?  I couldn't tell you.  The most I ever wear is eye liner, shadow, mascara, and lipstick, but I don't consider that a "full face of makeup." Do you own an iPad?  No. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?  No, thank goodness. Do you think it’s wrong for people to say 'retard/retarded’ as an insult?  I FUCKING HATE IT. How many people of the opposite sex have made you cry?  I think two. Would you eat a live tarantula for $1,000?  No, I just wouldn't be able to.  If it didn't have its fangs, maybe? What’s one health problem you wish you didn’t have?  Anxiety.  Shit would be so much better without it. Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom by one year. Do you have any close friends that were adopted? No. Do you believe that people can be psychics? No. List these apple types from greatest to worst: green, red, yellow. Red, green, yellow. Does your house have more than one fireplace?  We don't have even one. When it rains does it leave a lake in your front yard?  No.  My original home was like that, though.  It ALWAYS flooded. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks?  No, I actually found it flattering to know they wanted me to sign it. Where is one place that you’d never be caught dead in?  A strip club, to name one. Do you have a favorite Scooby-Doo movie?  I loved the Phantom Virus one.  Even had the game. Do you dislike when people ruin the endings of anything for you?  Yes, unless I ask to just be told. You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?  ... Whoa.  I'd feel fucking godawful, but I'd save my grandmother.  I'm not calling the baby less human, but my grandmother is more conscious of life and everything, I guess? Which would you choose: true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why? Never love at all.  Heartbreak is fucking awful. Have you ever seen the movie "A Walk to Remember?" Cliche or worth watching?  I think it's worth watching.  Very sweet movie. Do you know how to sew? What’s your favorite thing to sew? No. Do you own many pairs of shorts?  I don't own any. Do you ever have movie nights with your significant other?  Ye<3 Do you like fiction or non-fiction books more? What’s your favorite?  Fiction.  "Johnny Got His Gun" and "The Outsiders." Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend? Yeah. How many tattoos would you get?  I want LOADS. What brand of toothpaste do you use? Crest. Would you ever tattoo the name of a bf/gf or spouse on yourself?  No.  I'd get a matching tattoo relatively deep into marriage, but name, nah. What’s your least favorite season? Summer. D: What’s your favorite dessert?  Red velvet cake. Do you like cotton candy? Meh, I can have a couple bites. Do you have any shirts signed by famous people?  No. Where do you normally get your hair cut? A family friend's salon. What would your dream engagement ring look like? I really like dragon's breath opal rings or rose gold ones but idk how expensive either are. @_@ What’s the longest your hair has ever been?  Like to the small of my back. How do you feel about bleach blonde hair? Gorgeous on some people, not for me. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. Name 2 questions that you will most likely never say ‘no’ to:  1.) "Do you wanna go get a tattoo?", 2.) "Do you wanna Skype?" if it's Sara. Imagine someone has a great personality, sense or humor, family and job. they also really really like you a lot. Would you consider dating them if they: Were fat?  Yes. Limped?  Yes. Were a midget?  Yes. Had HIV?  No, because I'm too scared to put myself at risk. Were paralyzed in one arm?  Yes. Had a glass eye?  Yes. Had only 6 months to live?  No, that would destroy me. Would you get married on TV?  No.  I don't want people I don't care about watching. Do you own a metal detector?  No.  I did as a kid, though.