#but i also believe that Roman deserves to go feral at least once | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

airplanned · 3 years

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Hello. In this Ted Talk, I will discuss how the Barbarian Armor in Breath of the Wild is problematic AF.

Let's start with the word "Barbarian." This is a term invented by the ancient Greeks to describe anyone who didn't speak Greek or was not a Greek citizen. It was a dichotomy: you were either Greek or a barbarian. It seemed, to them, that every non-Greek speaker was just saying, "Bar bar bar bar." So, it's super offensive. I'm sure you can think of at least one modern equivalent of a term based on how a caricature of a culture speaks their native language.

When the Roman Empire came along, they started using the term pretty specifically to mean non-Roman tribes. Big stand outs here are the Imazighen (who you might know as the Berbers with the same root as barbarian), along with the Gauls and the Celts, all of whom gave the Romans a lot of grief. Julius Caesar himself wrote a whole book about his war against the Barbarian Gauls. (It's usually assigned as reading in Latin 2.)

In modern usage, the term has expanded out again to any group that is "other" or "barbaric," but it still focuses in on tribal and indigenous groups and has the connotation of being overly violent, cruel, or merciless. It is an offensive term equating difference to cruelty.

So let's get back to this armor. From the neck down, it's Celtic inspired. They were known for their body paint and furs. This tracks with the word "barbarian" used as the Romans would use it. So just with the name and the look of two pieces, this armor is already othering an indigenous tribe with a connotation of cruelty.

The color text for the chest armor and leg wrappings reads, "once worn by the warriors of an ancient warlike tribe from the Faron region. The war paint bolsters your fighting spirit and raises your attack power."

Yiiikes.

Let's dig into why that's a yikes from me. "An ancient warlike tribe." 1. This moves it from subtext and coding to textual. This armor belonged to an indigenous group in Hyrule.

2. "Warlike." This is the start of the dehumanizing language we're going to see. It's a common tool of oppressive, colonialist regimes. "Warlike" implies that they are more violent than even the colonizers coming into their homeland and oppressing them. It implies that they are more focused on battle than art and science. It leads to "They are dangerous and need to be reigned in for the colonizer's safety," because they might kill our proper young men or assault our proper young women or steal our proper young children. And/or "They are uncivilized and the colonizers will teach them how to better themselves." There’s a level of implied naivete there--that they just don’t know how to do better. If we go back to our Celtic example, historically multiple oppressive groups had epic battles with them, and they were described as "warlike." In fact, the Celts fought so hard that Caesar was pushed back, and later, after his death, Hadrian gave up and built a wall, saying that that was as far as the empire went and there was just no possible way to push further into their territory. But now we (enlightened people of the 21st century) think of Celtic culture as having intricate art and music and language. We know this "warlike" moniker is propoganda born of fear and frustration and propagated throughout the empire. Think of the cultures that you've heard described as "warlike." Do you believe they really are? Or do you think this is a narrative constructed by an oppressor for the purpose of villainizing them?

Other examples of dehumanizing language: "feral," "primitive," "crude," "savage," "wild." Also things like "child-like" can infantalize and deny the maturity, intelligence, and decision making skills of an adult. This ties back to the naivete again--the idea that these children need to be guided.

3. "from the Faron region." Now, you may recall that the three pieces of the armor set are found in the three labyrinths. Weirdly, none of these are in Faron. This is where we learn the name of the "warlike culture from Faron": the Zonai. (Why is it called the Barbarian armor and not the Zonai armor? Hmmmmmmm.) Zonai ruins are found all over the map, in all sorts of environments. So why is Nintendo saying they're specifically from Faron? It's because cultures who live in rainforests are typically indigenous and typically people of color. There's a common thing here where colonizers judge forest-dwelling groups for not colonizing the forest. Tear it down and build houses out of bricks! Tear it down and have a field of wheat! Tear it down and have a field of cattle! The colonizers’ idea was that if they weren’t “working” the land in the way the Europeans could identify, then they didn’t “own” the land and it was up for taking. Dove-tailing with this, we have colonizers’ constant judgements that their way of doing things is the only "proper" way, and all others ways are wrong. So where does Nintendo say this fictional indigenous tribe is from? Clearly, the jungle even though they have a labyrinth next to a snow field and in the middle of the sea, and they have ruins in a forest right next to the Lost Woods. But no. They're indigenous, and Nintendo really needs that to hit home.

Now at this point, we need to get into how the helm piece with a skull is not a Celtic thing. And the Zonai ruins are not Celtic inspired at all. They're inspired more by Aztec ruins. This matches a bit better with the jungle habitat. But now we've gained a level of problematic issues, because suddenly we're not talking about a white indigenous group and Link doing some Braveheart cosplay. Now we're talking about people of color. We're talking about demonizing people with the the dual identities of being indigenous and non-white. Think of it this way: a lot of people have an easier time accepting "the Celts weren't warlike," than accepting "the Aztecs weren't warlike." My saying this isn’t a judgement against people who struggle here. We inhabit a colonialst society where this narrative that indigenous people deserve their oppression is pressed more heavily on non-white groups.

So let's look at the color text for the Barbarian Helm, because it's slightly different from the other two: "A helmet once worn by the warriors of an ancient warlike tribe from the Faron region. Wearing it draws out your inner animal, increasing your strength and battle prowess."

4. "Inner Animal." (big sigh) Now we're comparing indigenous people to animals. This tactic has been used to oppress and belittle since colonization began. Nothing is more dehumanizing than implying that someone is not a human. To this day, you can hear groups compared to apes and monkeys. It's absurdly offensive.

This instance is explicit. But there are subtler ways that equating an oppressed culture to an animal sneaks into language. Words describing someone's features as ape-like or rat-like. Words describing someone's movements as cat-like or dog-like. Words describing the way people talk as grunting or barking or howling.

So I guess Nintendo didn't consider that indigenous people who encounter this oppressive language every day until it grinds and wears would play their game and have to hear it yet again. I guess they didn't think about how by using this language, they were perpetuating a dehumanizing narrative that unknowing people would pick up and continue to use.

Language has meaning.

Edit: I am a white dude. I speak from no authority. I just spend a lot of time thinking about language and connotations and hating on colonialism (and I took a lot of Latin, if you can’t tell). It’s not my intention to talk over anyone.

#Zelda #language has meaning

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98prilla · 4 years

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Deathworlder Down

Set in @delimeful 's wonderful WIBAR AU. Virgil gets sick, and the others struggle to help him, not only with his illness, but the clear underlying emotional issues.

AO3

...

It was quiet, on the Mindscape.

Logan was reading, absently twirling his fingers and hands as he studied, recording information, though he was certain most of it would prove false, as it was the little that was reported about humans. Most were comparable to ghost stories or urban legends, but there were a few that seemed more credible, that he hoped would give some more insight into humans in general.

Roman was off working out somewhere, sparring, he insisted it was just to keep sharp, but they all knew it was because he didn’t trust the human on board not to go feral and kill them any second, despite Virgil’s rather shy and withdrawn personality. Still, at least he was getting his aggression out elsewhere, and not by actually fighting or snarking at the true object of his emotions. He was doing better, still, Logan would give him that, but there was a long way to go.

He could hear Patton pitter pattering about in the kitchen, chirping and warbling to himself, making his lips twitch up into a smile. It had been far too quiet, without the little Ampen aboard, too much silence to drown in. It was a comfort he hadn’t realized he’d grown accustomed to, hearing Patton hum and chirp and sing all day. Now it was also a relief, a steady reminder their friend was back home, safe and sound, and he frowned again, thinking of how close they had come to losing him for good. That they would have, had it not been for Virgil.

Speaking of…

“Patton?” He asked, stepping into the kitchen, the Ampen stopping his trilling as he set the kettle on the stove, giving him one of his warm, happy smiles, that seemed to actually light up the room.

“Yeah, Lo? Everything ok?” Patton’s antennae twitched slightly, and he focused back on the present.

“Yes, I believe so, I was simply wondering if you’d seen Virgil today. He is usually awake by now. I was hoping to discuss some… perhaps sensitive topics, that I picked up on during our vidi.”

It was true. He hadn’t seen much, with how fast it had all turned, and spiraled out of hand, and though Virgil and him had been having question and answer sessions, the ones he really wanted to ask seemed more… personal. So, he’d kept them to himself, and simply continued his observations, and studied up on the information available to him.

And what he’d noticed was… concerning, to say the least. He was certain the human wasn’t sleeping enough. Unlike most species, humans could run on limited sleep for an extended period of time, but he was slowly becoming aware that just because humans had the capability to do something, didn’t mean it was natural or good for them to do it. They could survive grievous injuries that would have killed any other species, but it came at great physical and mental cost. They could survive intense radiation, but they would sicken slowly and die. They could imbibe substances that a single sip would be deadly to himself, but even in small amounts, it inhibited a human’s survival instincts and weakened them.

So just because Virgil was running on, at his best guess, four to five hours of sleep a day, didn’t mean that was anywhere near the healthy range of a human’s normal requirements. He’d noticed some of the side effects so commonly, he’d thought they simply were how humans were, until the Vidi gave him glimpses at others, who lacked the bags under their eyes, the deep bruising, that Virgil always had. Virgil was often unsteady on his feet, “light headed” he called it, he often stared out into space for minutes at a time, without registering anything that was said or happening around him, he ran into things, doorframes, corners of furniture, he stumbled and often had to lean against something to regain his balance.

The other issue was his diet. Logan was absolutely certain that Virgil was not eating nor drinking enough. With his permission, he’d taken his heart rate, he’d calculated how many calories his body must burn, at the least, throughout a day. With no physical activity, no exertion, the very base level of sleep, Virgil was missing at least hundreds, if not nearly a thousand, necessary calories, and that was if he were in a relaxed state, which he never was. The human was endlessly jumpy and frightened and twitchy, and he had admitted that his heart rate was much higher than it should be, most of the time, due to his constant state of high alert. But despite this, he ate nearly the least at meals, always pushing food around his place, making excuses to take small portions, at least half the time Logan was certain he hadn’t eaten at all until he was forced to at their daily dinner together, and only then because he didn’t want to upset Patton. Based on his limited understanding, Virgil was immensely underweight and incredibly sleep deprived, both dangerously unhealthy states for humans.

“oh! I peeked in on him a bit ago. He'd just woke up, said he was going to take a shower. I’m kinda surprised he isn’t out here yet.” Patton frowned, his feathers fluffing in distress.

“I see. I'll go check on him, Patton. Save me a cup?” He smiles as Patton’s face lights up again, only half surprised as Patton jumps at him, hugging him. He carefully supports the Ampen, holding him close, allowing his head to rest against Patton's small, fluffy shoulder.

“Thanks, Lo. For looking out for him.” Patton mumbled, as Logan let him go, setting him back down on the counter.

“Of course, Patton. It’s the least I can do. He deserves to not only be safe, but feel safe. I am happy to help make that happen.” Patton's feathers pulsed his trademark light blue, a sign of happiness, that made Logan’s hands flutter, trying to record the warmth in his chest, as he turns away.

…

He woke up with a groan, pushing the cupboard door open, jumping as his door opened, hitting his head against the back of the cupboard at the sudden movement, breath speeding wildly, before he registered Patton’s head poking in, concerned eyes on him.

“Hey, kiddo. Just checking in. Everything ok?” He sighed, but pushed back his exhaustion, summoning a small smile, making it as reassuring and genuine as possible, not difficult, faced with a small ball of fluff.

“I’m alright, Pat. Just catching up on some zee’s. Was gonna go shower.” Patton nodded, hopping into his arms for a quick snuggle, before chirping a happy goodbye and vanishing out the door.

He slumped back against the pylon behind him with another groan, rubbing his hands across his face, then up into his hair, wincing as he felt his hair stick straight up, matted with sweat. He’d stayed in bed far later than usual, but he hadn’t slept more. The night had been plagued with nightmares and sleep paralysis, filling him with terror so deep he couldn’t even scream, could merely panic until he passed out once more, tossing and turning restlessly.

He felt shivery, cold, and his head spun just a bit as he stood, his stomach turning at the motion, vertigo rocking him as he leaned against the wall for a moment, trying to get his bearings.

“fine. I’m fine.” He muttered, taking a few deep breaths in and out, before making his way to the door, listening for a few moments to make sure he couldn’t hear Roman anywhere nearby, he didn’t think he could handle the Crav’n in his current state.

Which was normal and healthy and perfectly fine. He had to be fine.

He made it to the bathroom with minimal stumbling, his vision barely swimming in and out, as he stripped, and turned on the water, hot enough it would probably burn any other members of their little band, but he just sighed in relief as he stepped in, letting the water run over him, soothe the aches building in his muscles. He let out a sigh, halfheartedly scrubbing at his hair, zoning out as he watched the steam.

As he watched, it seemed to form a shape, to swirl into a nebulous form, and his breathing stuttered, heart stopping, as he stared in fear at the suited figure, one of his captors, a needle stabbing down towards him, and he flinched back, the world blurring and swirling and fading out around him, static roaring through his ears, his heart racing as static filled his vision as well. Distantly, he heard knocks, someone maybe calling his name, then he felt his legs give out, his head hit something hard, and the world went black.

…

“Virgil? Are you alright?” He heard a loud thump, a crash, and his eyes widened, knocking again. “Virgil? If you do not answer me, I am going to enter. Virgil!” Nothing. He threw open the door, breath catching, freezing in place at the sight.

Virgil was sprawled across the bathroom floor, unconscious. His breathing seemed somewhat labored and shallow, and he could hear the slight wheeze to it from the doorway. What caught his eye first were the endless collection of scars, all across his body, covering nearly every inch of his skin, and it turned his stomach, it made him sick, the level of trauma and abuse Virgil must have endured. He’d known it wasn’t good, known he’d been a lab rat, an experiment, a being to harvest then sell off the parts once he was drained dry, but knowing it and seeing the scars, the marks of old burns from the stun batons, was something else entirely. And nothing Virgil had said had indicated the violence against him to be to this extent. He felt another surge of appreciation, for Virgil having protected Patton.

The second thing, that finally forced him into motion, was the small pool of red forming around the human’s head, likely where the back of his skull had impacted with the floor. Quickly, he grabbed a towel from off the rack, and rolled Virgil onto his side, wiping away the blood from his neck and hair, to see where to apply the pressure. He breathed a sigh of relief as he located the wound, surprisingly small, given the amount of blood loss, and he was confident a few moments of pressure would easily stop it.

“ROMAN!” He shouted with all his might, voice shaking and unsteady, hearing the crashing footsteps of the Crav’n immediately, the being sliding into the doorway mere moments later, scales raised to their extremes, teeth bared, ready to fight, no doubt hoping for an excuse to fight the human.

“Logan? What’s-“ Patton darts in around Roman’s legs, eyes widening as he instantly is at Virgil’s side, trembling, eyes wide as saucers.

“I need help. Roman, he’s heavy, I need-“

“Ok. Ok, teach, I got you. Let’s get him dressed, then I’ll move him to the couch. What’s… what happened?”

“I’m not entirely sure. I knocked and heard a crash, when I entered, he was like this. I suspect it has something to do with his malnutrition and sleep deprivation.” He answered, focusing on carefully pulling Virgil’s hoodie over his head, hands clenching sharply as one brushes his forehead. “he’s burning up.”

“That’s what happens when he’s… when he’s sick. Humans get all hot and shivery and sometimes their stomach hurts and they can’t eat. But that only happened on the… on the ship. When… when it was really bad.” His voice wavered, feathers flattening.

“I would suspect that he has been feeling ill for a couple of days now, if it’s grown severe enough to make him pass out. His normal temperature is around 98.6 to 99, I would estimate his to be closer to one hundred and three. Has he seemed off to you, Patton?”

“He’s spent less time with me. Less time out of his room. I thought he just needed some space, but… but he was trying to hide he was sick, wasn’t he?”

“Why would he do that? Did he think we’d just abandon him like some deathworlder would an injured comrade?” Roman snorted disdainfully, helping pull pants onto the human, though Patton could see the concern hiding behind his outrage.

“Contrarily, he probably didn’t want to be a burden. To use up more of our resources and time. He constantly sees himself as lesser, as the least important of the group, therefore the one who should take up the least space, least time, least amount of food. Surely, you’ve noticed, Roman.”

“I…hadn’t. I’ll take him now, Pat.” He mumbled softly, gently shooing him back as he scooped Virgil into his arms, surprised at how light the human was, his head lolling limply against his chest, his cheeks flushed, while the rest of his face was even paler than usual. He could feel the frantically rapid beat of his heart, his eyes flicking uneasily under their lids, and his scales flattened in concern. As much as he didn’t trust the human, he didn’t want to see him hurting, either. And if what Logan said was true, Virgil had not only been hurting, but hurting himself, out of, what? Loyalty? Worry? He just couldn’t get a handle on him.

Then again, he hadn’t tried very hard to get to know him, or to give him a chance. But there was something in seeing him so vulnerable, without the usual piercing stare and silent slink, that made him soften a bit, made him remember that despite being one of the most fearsome creatures in the universe, that Virgil was essentially a child, by human standards. He was so thin, too. He could count his bones, under that hoodie. No wonder he was always cold, he had no layer of fat on his bones.

And those scars…

Well. It was enough to almost make him rethink his view on Virgil, at least, as he laid him down on the couch in the common area, Patton immediately taking a seat by his head, brushing his hands soothingly through Virgil’s hair, as the human shook, muttering something in his sleep that was undecipherable, though the tone of fear was impossible to miss, as his hand clenched against the fabric.

“We need to break his fever. Blankets, Roman? I’ll get you a washcloth and water for his forehead, Patton. If he wakes, he is likely to be disoriented or possibly even hallucinate, because of the fever. However, I have no doubt he will calm immensely upon registering your presence. You are… his lifeline, Patton.” Patton nodded, continuing to focus on Virgil, doing the coo chirp pattern used to soothe babies, one of the first things Virgil had mimicked back to him, back on that awful ship.

“He’ll… he’ll be ok, right? He just needs some sleep and he’ll be okay?” His voice trembled, and Logan’s hands clasped behind his back, eyes darting as he looked for the right words to say.

“I don’t know. There’s so little information, Patton, I keep looking and there’s just… not enough, to help him, in any meaningful way. There’s no way of knowing if this is just a ‘flu’ or if it is something more severe. I know his heart rate is high and his breathing rasping, but I don’t know if that’s the result of the illness or simply stress, I would give him medicine, but I don’t know what he can have, what would be helpful, and I don’t know what to do if it’s something we aren’t equipped to handle!” He exploded, pacing the floor somewhat frantically, hands flailing wildly, wincing as one smacked the wall. “I don’t know what to do, but wait.” He said, softer, taking a deep breath and rubbing at his hand, looking up as Roman came to stand before him, gently patting one of his arms.

“It’s ok, Lo. No one expects you to have all the answers. We know you’ll do your best. You always do.” Logan nodded, pulling himself together somewhat, striding off to the kitchen, Roman heading down the hall to raid the extra blankets from the closets.

“you’ll be ok, kiddo. I promise.” Patton murmured, nuzzling against Virgil’s cheek, giggling as Virgil mumbles again, leaning into his touch, hand unclenching, face relaxing minutely. When Logan came back, he huffed fondly, Patton curled up against Virgil’s shoulder, just a ball of puffed up blue feathers, pulsing soothingly.

#wibar #wibar au #sickfic #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #sympathetic virgil #sympathetic roman #sympathetic patton #sympathetic logan #virgil angst #like loads of it #eventual happy ending #flashbacks #anxiety attacks #past trauma #past abuse #minor blood

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l0rd-0f-the-lies · 4 years

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*paps* It's all good M'Thude! Now.. Prompts.. Hhmm. Virgils reaction to Janus now being accepted into the "Light Sides"? Or.. Remus and Roman dealing with the fallout of the events that just transpired? Oh.. How about everyone's internal monologue upon hearing Deceit say his name? 🤗

(Disclaimer: I haven't written fic in, several years. Apologies in advance. I also can't figure out how to add a read more, unfortunately.)

Chosen Prompt: Roman and Remus deal with the fallout after SVSR

Pairings: None

Warnings: Angst, but with a happy ending. Some very minor actions that could be considered harmful to the self (digging fingers into arms/shoulders).

Roman didn't want to be in his room any more. His knees had been digging into the pacing worn carpet for far too long already, his fingertips were forming indents on his elbows, and he was tired of staring at the monuments to projects past that glared down at him, menacing reminders of when he was Thomas's ... when the others valued his ideas. Yeah, that. He also just, wanted to be somewhere the others wouldn't go looking, if they bothered to. Patton had already come by to 'check' on him, and had been forced to tell his peace to Roman's door as the prince had refused to get up to answer it. Apparently the parental side felt that Janus hadn't really meant what he'd said, and that there'd been a misunderstanding. He'd apologized for not speaking up during their... disagreement, something about not trying to take sides, and had declared that "You boys will make up in no time, I just know it," before sighing and walking off again, seeming to accept that he wouldn't be invited inside. Yeah, Roman had mentally scoffed, he's so sure. They'll just be buddy buddy in no time... It shouldn't even matter. It shouldn't.

It did.

Wiping yet again at his face, the fanciful side closed his eyes in order to avoid the judgemental gaze of his own decor, consumed by the whirl of thoughts clogging his head. Where could he go? The imagination was far too obvious, if he went to the subconscious it's likely a Function would rat him out, the only other place would be someone else's... But no. None of them would want to see him right now, nor would he want them to see him like this. The only person who might not judge his disheveled state, who wouldn't care how good or bad he might actually be... Is the only one who he really had no right to ask that of, with all the distance he'd placed between them. And yet... the thought wouldn't leave him. Maybe... maybe he would understand, whether Roman felt he deserved it or not. And so, with a deep exhale, the prince sunk down, eyes closing as he Travelled.

He rose up slowly, still settled on his knees as he reappeared, the press of hardwood harsh against them. It made sense, he supposed. Wood was easier to clean up, should... unsavory things spill on it. Eyes taking in his new surroundings, quickly flicking away from things better left unacknowledged, he almost missed the dark lump settled on his brother's bed. It was quiet, so quiet, and that terrified Roman more then if he'd triggered some sort of trumpet launched fireworks booby trap. Remus was -never- quiet, or at least, he'd never been when Roman was around.

"R-remus?" He winced as his voice cracked, vocal cords worn out from crying for so long. "What are you-" His words cut short as the lump sniffled, a loud, snotty sounding snort came from the lump, causing Roman to grimace. Tissues were invented for a reason, not that that'd matter to Remus. "Are you cr- Are you ok?" He amends, it hadn't even occured to him that Remus may be dealing with something himself.

"Just peachy. Like that giant one those kids gobble-gobbled up. Not that you care, of course." It wasn't as if Roman had ever made much effort to seek out his company in recent years, much less made any move to comfort him. No, usually he'd be the first to insult him, remind him of his 'dark side' status. So quick to remind everyone how much better he was then his 'twisted' sibling. Not that he was the cause of this particular cry session. Not directly. No, that honor didn't belong to him today.

The Duke's response caused Roman to wince, glancing down and at least having the decency to look sorry, not that Remus could see it, steadfastly facing the far wall rather then turning over. "I, I do actually." He voiced without stopping to consider why. His heart pounded harshly as the reality that his brother probably wouldn't believe him suddenly hit him, driving him to forget his own reason for coming here for the moment. Instead the crushing need to apologize was swarming, cloying his eyes once more. "I know I haven't, sometimes, and I'm sorry. I, I haven't been very fair to you, recently, and I'm so, so sorry Remus. Please, talk to me? What happened?" He forced himself to stand, knees pulsing painfully in protest after being kept in the same position for so long. Shuffling forward slowly, reminiscent of someone trying to avoid spooking a semi feral cat, he settles on the edge of Remus's bed, hands fidgeting in his lap as he debates reaching towards his sibling.

Remus scrunches his face, forcibly stuffing another wave of tears down as the seemingly genuine words meet his ears, as the bed dips, telling him his brother had taken a seat. "What happened," he grits out, quite literally grinding his teeth together, "is you and Jan decided to drag -me- into your little cat fight." The sound of a shaky inhale can be heard from him, before he slowly turns over, red, watery eyes locking onto Roman's with an unreadable expression. "Well, he did the dragging. But you just rolled right with it, let it cut you real good, didn't ya? God forbid you get compared to the horror that is -me-, right?" He bit out, anger flaring, propping himself on an elbow and a knee to sit up. "You're just here because you got compared to your 'evil twin', and obviously that means Tommy thinks you're just as bad as me, right?" His eyes watered dangerously, threatening to spill over once more. "Doesn't feel so good, does it? Being called the evil one?"

Roman sat frozen, eyes growing wide the more Remus spoke, the more hurt and anger filled the air between them. "I-" He clenched his fingers together tightly, squeezing. "I-" He stuttered out, so much for royal eloquincy. He throws his hands up, frustrated with his inability to form a response to the unexpected, raw pain in his brother's words. What did one even say to that? It had never crossed his mind that his opinion, all of their opinions really, of his brother would actually hurt him. Remus, of all people, seemed the type to -enjoy- being referred to as sinister, wicked, and yes, evil. Or, Roman supposed, that's what he'd always assumed. "I thought you liked being called that?"

Remus seemed to deflate, sighing more to himself then anything and collapsing back against his pillows again. "That's what you choose to focus on?" He asks, again more to himself then anything, before sighing a second time, eyes losing some of their heat. "It can be fun, sometimes. Winding people up until they say it. But only because they think it anyway. Even, even if -you- had said it, I probably wouldn't care. I may have even laughed. But... but Jan, Dee knows. He knows I don't really like it. Especially in comparison to you. He, he's told me before, that I'm not. Not the evil twin. Not a mistake. Not bad, just different. And then... Then he says that. Because he knows it will hurt you, knows it's one of those things you're so fucking insecure about, and don't think I haven't noticed. You have more of those then a dragon's lair does skulls. And I know, I -know- he was hurt, near devastated really, and was just reaching for the lowest, easiest one of those to dig into, to stab at -you- with, but..." He exhales slowly, salty tracks making their way down his face. "But that doesn't mean it didn't -hurt-. Doesn't mean there isn't a chance he really thinks it, no matter -what- he says otherwise. He's Deceit, right?" He huffs bitterly, wrapping his arms around himself and digging his fingers into his shoulders, anger and hurt shimmering in his gaze. Under that though, is something Roman is so, so familiar with. He sees it in the mirror far too often, when his thoughts get the better of him. Deep seated insecurity, shining and broken. It doesn't belong on his twin's face, he finds himself thinking, leaning forward and hovering a hand over Remus, ensure if the other wants to be touched right now.

"I... I didn't know." He says quietly, rushing to finish his thought as he realizes he's said that out loud. "But- but that doesn't make it okay." Roman swallows, trying to quickly comes to terms with his rapidly shifting opinion of his brother after the deeply personal admittance from him, the word 'mistake' ringing uncomfortably in his head. Suddenly, he's no longer seeing a villian, just a hurting, lonely kid, same as him. Just someone who doesn't deserve to feel this way about things they have no control over, never had a choice about. "He's right, and I wish, I wish I had thought of it that way sooner. You -aren't- evil Remus, maybe, maybe you never were. You're just, so different from me, and we were so young when I first started calling you that, but I shouldn't have judged you so harshly. You can be a bit much, but you didn't choose what pieces you got, what role you filled. It doesn't make you a villian. It never should have." He's near about to cry again himself, seeing the hurt he'd helped to cause suffocating his sibling like this. He rests his palm on Remus's arm, squeezing reassuringly. "And I'm sure that De-" He cuts himself off, "that Janice, agrees. He may be a liar, but what does he get out of telling you that you aren't really the bad guy? He knows you aren't evil, Re. It's like you said, he just went for the easiest jab, something he knew I'm afraid of. That I -was- afraid of."

And yeah, Roman hadn't known what response to that he'd expected, but it certainly wasn't the long pause followed by a string of steadily growing giggled. "What did I say? Remus? Are you al-" His question is interrupted by a rough wheeze from the side in question, punctuated by even more giggles before he manages to answer.

"Did- did you say -Janice-? You still think it's -Janice-?" Remus wheezes out, managing a giddy smile as he cackles.

"Y-yes?" His brother hesitantly responds, both looking & sounding unsure. "I, that -is- his name, isn't it? ...You even called him Jan!" Roman suddenly recalls, looking bewildered and nearly offended.

Remus's laughter only grows stronger at that, before he dramatically wipes a tear from his eye, clutching his stomach as he manages to wind down the cackles enough to speak. "Ro, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you are dumb as a box of rocks."

"Hey!"

"It's Janus. Or as I like to call him, Jaynus." This sets off another round of chuckling from the more chaotic twin. "Ya know, as in the -Roman- god, Janus? With a u and an s? Has two fudgin' faces just like dear double Dee's logo?" If ever a grin could be described as shit eating, that was Remus's expression right now.

Roman, at this point, was bright red, embarrassment tinting his skin. "I- I knew that!" He cries, puffing up his chest and placing his fists on his hips. All it took was a skeptical, unimpressed look from his brother and he was deflating, admitting defeat with the lowering of his arms. "Ok, so maybe I didn't! But how was I supposed to know? Mythology is the nerd's thing, not mine!"

"Clearly." Remus teased, sitting up properly and moving to settle beside his brother. His grin slowly faded, replaced by a serious expression that absolutely didn't belong on his face. He clears his throat, but doesn't go on, trying to decide on what he wanted to say as his brother's gaze settled on him questioningly.

"Remus?" He asks, his own expression fading as he takes note of this. "Everything ok?"

"With me? I feel... a lot better. Probably too much. I may have to set something on fire just to get the jitters out later. But what about -you-?" He asks, inquisitive gaze locking with his twins.

"Me? What about me?" Roman scrunches his face in confusion, the quick shifts of their conversation leaving him a bit disoriented as to what his brother meant.

"What about you, what? Don't give me that, I saw how you looked when you first rose up. You came here because you were upset too, and not just about Jan's jab."

Roman unconsciously flinches at the reminder, the ghosts of the looks the other's had given him, at Thomas's lie, because Janus had confirmed it was a lie, hadn't he, clawing at his chest. "I, I'm fine." His voice sounds weak even to his own ears. The look from his brother leaves him grasping at straws. "We literally just established you aren't evil, so what he said doesn't matter, ok? I'm fine."

"You're avoiding what I really mean, Ro." Remus raises his eyebrows, slowly settling a hand on Roman's shoulder, arm tensed as if convinced his brother would pull away. "I'm talking about what -you- said. About not being-"

"What about it?" Roman chokes out, forcing himself not to throw Remus's hand off as he cuts him off. "I know I'm not evil, since you aren't, but... But I'm not the hero either. I'm not -his- hero. I get it, really, I do." He glares down at his boots, expression closing off again.

"Yes, you are."

"W-what?" He's sure he's heard wrong.

"I said, you are. Of course you're his hero Roman, making a few mistakes doesn't change that. Don't be an idiot."

He feels a treacherous bead of hope bubble in his chest, but no, he can't- "But Janus-"

Remus's brow furrowed, his fingers squeezing the other's shoulder to get him to look at him again. "Janus nodded. You assumed he meant Thomas was lying, but you know what they say about -ass-umptions, bro. Thomas was telling the truth."

"What?"

Remus just rolls his eyes, sighing. "He was telling the truth. Janus was agreeing with Thomathy when he nodded. You are that dork's hero, like it or not, and I don't see that changing anytime soon."

Roman doesn't respond, stilling as he processes this. And then-

"Oh damnit. Come here Count Cry-ula." Remus gripes, no real heat to it as he pulls his brother to him, hugging him tight in a way he hasn't since childhood.

Roman manages to laugh wetly through what was probably the second dozen round of tears that night, hugging back like it's the only chance he'll get. "R-really? You aren't, just saying that to make me feel better?"

"Do I -seem- like the feel better side to you?" His brother snorts, a few tears of his own making another run for it. "Yes, really. He loves you Roman, and even if we're all so emotionally backed up it's about to come out the other end, the others do too."

And for the first time that night, he believes it. The hope is so big now, bubbling brightly in his chest, overflowing and spilling freely down his face as he buries it into his twin's shoulder, a bright laugh managing to escape him as his heart swells. They don't hate him. -Thomas- doesn't hate him. Maybe... Maybe things will be okay after all, both twins think, and they laugh together as they cry, the sound a perfect harmony.

#sanders sides #remus #roman #creativitwins #angst with a happy ending #my writing #if you tag this as you-know-what I'll steal your fucking kneecaps #janus mention #long post

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dragonsaphirareads · 5 years

Text

The Selfish Protector - The Golden Pact

Crossposted to AO3

Link to Masterlist

Patton and Virgil are not happy with the recent developments with Deceit, and they're not going to let it go any further.

After Patton sank out from the common room, his mind and chest both were on fire from his emotions thrown into complete turmoil. He didn’t know what to do - he couldn’t go back to his own room, it would only amplify how he was feeling and make it so Thomas acutely felt it as well. And he couldn’t talk to the others after he’d yelled at them the way he did.

And so the heart went to the only person left. The one side remaining that he felt actually felt the same way as he did.

Virgil welcomed him into his room quietly, shutting the door and locking it behind him. The physical lock didn’t do anything, but the very act of doing so made it so nobody else could pop into his room without his permission.

Patton took a seat on the edge of Virgil’s bed, his hands locked together so tightly his knuckles had turned white. His eyes were closed and Virgil could tell he was trying to contain the pure anger that was rolling off of him in waves. It almost scared Virgil - he’d never seen Patton like this, or at least it had been a very long time.

“Hey, Patton? Just... breathe with me, ok?” Virgil whispered, moving to sit down next to the emotional side on the bed. Patton nodded as Virgil counted - four in, seven to hold, eight out. They just sat there breathing until Patton was able to open his mouth without fear of simply screaming in frustration. He offered a weak smile to Virgil.

“Sorry kiddo, I guess Deceit’s room really got to me! I’m alright, I promise!”

Virgil shook his head. “I’m gonna kill Roman for bringing you in there. You didn’t see yourself, Patton! You were... feral! Out of control! Insane, even! It was... terrifying!”

Patton looked down at his hands, sighing. “I’m sorry, I--”

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. It’s theirs. Roman thought of the stupid plan and Logan went along with it. It nearly corrupted you for good! I can’t believe they really want us to try and get along with Deceit!”

“... He did save us.”

“Only because he’s playing the long game! He wants us to trust him! He wants us to accept him into our group because that means he can get to Thomas! But I’m not going to allow it!”

Virgil was getting himself worked up, his voice going deeper and layered and dark. Patton watched him as he stood up and started pacing, trying to do something with all the negative energy.

“I... I just don’t understand.”

“Understand what?”

“Deceit. He makes Thomas tell lies to his friends and do things that hurt them. He keeps us from telling Thomas things that would make his life easier. But... he also got us out of his room.”

“He’s playing at something! We can’t trust him, he’s a liar and a manipulator and both of them have already fallen under his spell! But I’m not going to let that happen to us, Patton. No, we’re going to push Deceit back into the shadows where he can rot forever.”

Patton’s eyes widened and he glanced up at Virgil, who’s eyeshadow was only growing darker by the second. The fatherly side swallowed.

“I don’t want my family to get hurt... But, I don’t want them to be mad at me either. They want to accept Deceit, and listen to what he has to say...”

Virgil whipped around to grab Patton’s shoulders tightly, staring at him incredulously. “Patton, you can’t seriously be saying that you want to side with them?!”

“Of course not!” he cried, biting his tongue. “Of course not...”

Patton sighed, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. “I... I want Thomas to be happy. And he’s happy with us. The four of us. We’re a family. And... I won’t allow anyone to hurt them.”

Virgil stared silently for a moment, before nodding and taking a step back. “We won’t. We... we need to find a way that they can see Deceit for what he truly is.”

Patton tilted his head. “How do we do that?”

“We go to the sleepover. We do whatever those two want us to do. We pretend we’re coming around. We watch Disney and eat popcorn and whatever else Roman plans.”

“How does that help us?”

Virgil grinned. “Because. We’re not just going to be playing along. We’re going to watch him carefully. Watch his every move. And the moment he does anything to hurt Logan or Roman, we tell them and convince them that they’re wrong about him.” The anxious side shook his head darkly. “He can’t change. He’s hurt Thomas before and he’s only going to get more powerful if Thomas lets this happen. We need to convince him that he’s wrong. And who better to do that than his morality?”

“I... I don’t know, Virgil... isn’t this lying?”

“We won’t tell him anything that isn’t true. He knows we don’t trust him, he’s not going to buy it if we try to be buddy buddy with him right away. But, we laugh at his stupid jokes. We pretend we don’t realize when he lies. We pretend we don’t notice the things he does that are going to hurt them. And then, once we get him alone, we tell Roman exactly what we think about this new ‘idea’ of his and shut it down for good!”

Patton bit his lip. It felt... wrong, but at the same time it felt right. He was fighting with himself - morals versus emotions. For the first time in a long while, they weren’t in sync. Patton didn’t want what he thought was right.

“I... I want to protect them. I don’t want my family to get hurt.” Patton told Virgil, who just watched him carefully. “And... Deceit wants to hurt them.”

“We won’t allow it.” Virgil finished, holding out his hand to Patton. The emotional side hesitated, for just a moment, before grabbing it and clasping Virgil’s hand in his own.

“We’re working together now, Patton. We’ll make sure Deceit doesn’t hurt anybody, and that he gets what he deserves in the end.”

And Patton’s eyes twinkled with gold as he thought about how much happier Thomas would be once they succeeded.

#ts deceit #thomas sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #sander sides #sandersides #saphira writes #saphira writes ts #the selfish protector

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sanderstalker · 6 years

Text

Guardian Chapter 11

Warnings: Self deprecating thoughts, nightmare, mentions of mind control, small amounts of violence, very minor cursing. Let me know if I missed something.

Pairings: Eventual Prinxiety and Logicality.

Word count: 3,900

Chapter 10

_________“Heya kiddo, how's it going this morning.” Patton chirped happily.

“I’m doing better, Thanks for helping out last night, Pat,” Virgil said from the kitchen table.

Patton started working on making some waffles for breakfast. “No problem, I am always here to help.”

“Are you really though?”

“What? Of course, I am.” Patton said whirling around to face Virgil. “I promise.”

“You weren’t there when I needed you most though,” Virgil said simply like he was having the most casual of conversations. “This is all your fault.” His voice sounded normal but was laced with such venom it made Patton’s blood run cold.

“No, it’s not my fault!” Patton said desperately.

Virgil stood up and slowly stalked over to Patton.”Yes, it is.”

No! Patton tried to say but his voice failed him. “You made me feel like I was a burden. You made me feel worthless. You lied to me! You hurt me so bad that I went to a literal demon for help. Do you know how desperate I was? How I wished for anything to just make the pain to go away?” Virgil closed in on Patton His eyes feral. Patton tried to back away but his feet were frozen to the ground.

It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. He was trying to scream to Virgil but his voice wouldn’t come. “No, you wouldn’t because you weren’t there for me.” It’s not my fault. “You’re the one to blame.” It’s not... “You did this to me.” ...my fault. “You lied!” My fault. “You made me this way!” My fault. “It’s all your fault!” My fault. My Fault. MY FAULT! It’s all my fault. When Patton thought this he felt a hand seize around his throat cutting off his air supply. Virgil was going to kill him. Patton knew he should fight back. He should be trying to tear the death grip from his throat. He needed to do something, but couldn’t bring himself to fight back. He deserved this. Virgil was right.

Patton couldn’t breathe, his lungs felt like they were filling with water. He gurgled and he choked trying to fill his lungs with air. It burned. Suddenly he wasn’t in the kitchen anymore. He was in the ocean and sinking fast. He couldn’t breathe and Virgil was pulling him down into the inky darkness below. Patton looked into Virgil’s eyes they were glowing yellow. That wasn’t right. This wasn’t Virgil. He finally found the desperate need to start fighting back. This wasn’t Virgil that was trying to drown him. He tried to pull away. But the effort made him feel weaker. He couldn’t breathe. Patton tried to scream for help, but again no sound came. He only sucked more water into his lungs. He strength was leaving him fast. His vision began to blur and his head was spinning from the lack of oxygen. It seemed so pointless to try to struggle anymore. He was going to drown alone with this monster that had Virgil’s face. It terrified him, but what could he do. He felt so cold and miserable, maybe it would be better if he just gave up and died already. It was at this moment when he was about to give up and just accept his fate a voice cut through to his dulled senses.

“Patton!” The voice was familiar. He couldn’t place it, but it felt so good to hear. The monster that was pulling him down shied away ever so slightly at the voice. Growling despite them being underwater. “Patton, wake up!” This time the monster shrunk way from Paton like the voice had burned it. As soon as the creature released its hold on him, Patton started to float up to the surface of the water. Patton starting to regain his strength started kicking his legs to swim upwards. He could still hear the voice calling out him. It was warm and inviting. It chased all the cold away making Patton feel warm and content.

He was almost to the surface now. He could see clearly again. He was going to get out of this. He was going to live. His lungs were still desperate for air as he quickly approached the surface, but he was going to make it. He had to.

“Patton help me!” Patton looked beneath himself from where he was rising up to see Virgil down below him, sinking fast into the dark. His brown eyes frantic and full of fear. “Don’t leave me here! I need you!” Patton didn’t even register that he shouldn’t be able to hear Virgil under this water he suddenly changed course trying to dive down, but he couldn’t go against the current that was pulling him upwards and away from Virgil.

“Patton! Wake up!” The other voice called.

“Patton don’t go, please!” Virgil said his eyes welling up with tears. “I am sorry for being a burden! Just don’t leave me!”

Patton screamed trying as hard as he could to get to Virgil, but his strangled cries were muffled by the water. Patton kept rising. Virgil kept sinking.

Patton looked up to see the surface was inches away now. He looked back down but couldn’t spot Virgil, but he heard one last whisper of his voice. “I’m scared, Patton.” With that Patton finally surfaces.

_______

“Virgil!” Patton screamed waking with a start. sitting upwards nearly colliding with the man who was hovering over him. Patton looked around desperately for Virgil. “Where is Virgil? I have to help him. He is alone and he is scared. I have to get to him. This is all my fault. I have to fix this.” Patton sobbed his eyes stained with tears.

“Shh, Patton. Shh, you were having a nightmare. Calm down.” Logan cooed gently.

Patton’s eyes suddenly found the man sitting beside his bed and calmed if only slightly. It took only a moment more for Patton to remember the events of the previous day. He also remembered what Logan should be doing right now. “Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be helping Remy with the potion?” Patton asked still extremely frazzled from his dream.

“At this time Remy does not require my assistance and…” Logan trailed off gently grabbing Patton’s wrist that was badly bruised. “I felt this. I assume you injured yourself on the nightstand in your frantic tossing and turning you were doing when I found you.”

“You feel it when I hurt myself?” Patton asked still crying, but slowing down.

“More like I sense it. It is another thing we get when we are bonded with our Wards so that we know when they are in physical danger.” Logan explained gently. He softly ran his finger over Patton nasty bruise examining it. Patton winced slightly and pulled away. “Apologize I was attempting to…” Logan trailed off again not really sure where he was going with that line of dialogue.

“It’s fine!” Patton interrupted shifting uncomfortably.

“Are you alright Patton?” Logan inquired looking at the clearly shaken man.

“Yeah, I’m fine just a really bad dream. I’ll be okay.” Patton said both trying to reassure himself just as much as Logan.

“May I inquire as to what your dream entailed. Perhaps talking about it will help to assuage your fears.” Logan said in an attempt to make Patton feel better.

Patton shook his head. He felt like if he started talking about it he would only start panicking again. Thankfully Logan seemed to understand and didn't press Patton any further. “Alright, we won’t talk about it them.” After saying this the room fell into an uncomfortable silence. The only sound to be heard Pat’s now quite sobbing.

Logan still is unused to dealing with such emotions moved awkwardly. He reached up and stiffly began to cart his fingers threw Patton’s soft hair. Patton at first stiffened at the touch but relaxed into it. It felt nice. He let out a wet laugh, at Logan’s awkwardness. “You're not used to comforting people are you?” He asked sending him a small glance.

Logan retracted his hand to Patton’s dismay. “I am sorry if I did not act according to for what the situation called for,” Logan said stiffly embarrassed at his inexperience in emotions.

Patton whimpered and shook his head. Taking Logan’s hand into his own he placed it back in his hair. “No, don’t stop. It was helping.”

Logan couldn’t help but, compare Patton to a newborn kitten, small and innocent, scared and unsure, but grateful for comfort he was being given. Logan indulged this little kitten by carting his, more relaxed this time, hand through his hair. Patton’s strained features softened and his strangled sobs ceased completely giving way to an only occasional sniffle.

He looked so at peace to Logan. He would have bet if Patton could purr he would be. Instead, however, the precious kitten stomach began to growl. Making them both realized with a start that Patton had not eaten since the dinner they had shared nearly two days ago now. Patton blushed at his stomach loud behavior. While Logan mentally scolded himself for not making sure his Ward had the nutritional care he needed. He must be starving.

Logan pulled his hand away from Patton’s head once more. Causing Patton to whimper. He wished his stomach had remained silent just a while longer. He honestly didn’t feel like eating.

“Despite the hour, I believe we should go acquire some food for you,” Logan said reluctantly pulling away from Patton who had looked at him in a way pleading for him not to go.

Patton considered if he should go on a hunger strike until he had Virgil back. He couldn’t imagine the idea of eating anything while Virgil was out there in who knows what kind of trouble, but his stomach had something else to say on that matter as it growled at him again. Patton sighed and flung the covers of the bed off of him. Going to fallow Logan to wherever he planned to take him.

Patton followed Logan out of the bedroom he had been given for the time that he would be staying with the Guardians. Logan led him down a long hallway into a communal kitchen. Patton no longer had to remain hidden as everyone had heard of the mess Logan and Roman had gotten themselves into. Although the nasty little detail of the Gatherer was less than common knowledge. So they couldn’t discuss it out in the open. They had to a least keep some of the peace.

Logan quickly marched over to the refrigerator in the large kitchen. “I am assuming that you would like to eat something light as to not upset your already unsettled stomach.” Logan mused out loud more to himself than to Patton, but Patton still nodded in response to the statement.

As Logan busied himself with putting something together Patton marveled at the large kitchen. It was huge, easily big enough to make over two hundred cupcakes in one go. He smiled at the idea of spending an afternoon completely dedicated to baking or cooking some sort of delicious meal. He was immersed in thought when the toaster popped up with a ding. Causing him to jump with a squeal.

Logan then pulled out the toast and covered it jam. “Toasted whole wheat bread, adorned with Crofters jam. I hope blueberry pomegranate is an okay flavor.” He said handing the slice over to Patton.

“It’s fine,” Patton said with a small smile. He had actually never tried it before, but he knew he liked most jams. Patton took a bite. An explosion of flavor erupted in his mouth. This was by far the best jam he had ever tasted. Maybe, It was because he was really hungry that made the bread taste so good, but he severely doubted he would taste a better piece of bread with jam. “Oh my goodness. This is absolutely amazing.” His hunger strike completely forgotten he scarfed down the food in less than a minute. When finished he started licking his fingers and looked up expectantly at Logan. “Can I have s’more please.” He slurred around his fingers.

Logan let out a soft chuckle at Patton’s childish display. “Sure.” He said putting another slice of bread in the toaster. Patton didn’t stop there he ended up eating a grand total of four slices of toast before he was satisfied.

Patton let out a soft yawn when he had finished his last slice. He looked over the clock on the stove top it read 3:48 am. He let out a sigh. Despite him now being tired he didn’t like the idea of going back to sleep. He didn’t want to have another nightmare.

Logan followed his gaze to the clock and misunderstands its meaning. “Do want to go back to bed? I can leave you alone if you would like. I need to return to aid Remy in the potion making soon anyways.”

“NO!” Patton said quickly. “No, I am not tired anymore. Um… Maybe I could come and watch you and Remy work on the potion. I am sure it is super interesting. Oh, and maybe I can help.” Patton’s heart leaped at the idea of being able to do something to get Virgil home quicker.

“But, you haven’t received the proper amount of sleep that a human requires in order to function properly,” Logan added.

“I am fine. I don’t want to go back to sleep.” Patton said desperately not wanting to be forced into it.

Logan sighed. “Very well, Let us go see how Remy is doing.”

_______

During this time Roman sat in the window of his room lamenting the loss of his bond with Virgil. He couldn’t even know where he was. It was torture. He could always sense the location Ward ever since they had been bonded together, but now there was nothing. He felt nothing. He looked around his room. It was the room he was given when he had first bonded with Virgil. It was small just big enough to keep a few things in. No bed, no desk, one small chair. Guardians once bonded don’t need a room for much more than a place to keep a change of clothes and a few personal items. They don’t come around very often because they are always out protecting their Wards. His room looked as sad and as empty as Roman felt. Not being able to look at his room any longer he went back to staring out the window. It wasn’t much better. It was dark and the stars were obscured by clouds. Only occasionally did Roman catch the slightest glimpses of the moon peeking through. It was like it had been watching Virgil from afar. Only getting to see him from far away and for only the briefest periods of time. He could see him but he was just out of reach. Now though he may never see his pale moon ever again.

It also worried him. If he couldn’t sense Virgil now did that mean he wasn’t his Ward at all anymore, and what would that mean for Roman? Did that mean he had no obligation to Virgil anymore? Would he die if Virgil did? If their bond was completely severed he would have no need to interfere in what was happening. Then there was the question that truly terrified him. Did he have the right to call Virgil his Ward, or even interfere? If he had no connection that would mean that it is completely out of his hands.

Roman shook his head to clear his mind of these thoughts. No Virgil is his Ward and only his. He has every right to be the prince in shining armor coming to the rescue.

He is Virgil’s Guardian and he will save him.

_______

The rest of the night past on in an uneventful manner. Logan assisting Remy with the potion in Remy’s lab. Patton valiantly attempting to help until he fell into a dreamless sleep when he had attempted to rest his eyes for just a second. Roman remaining at the window unmoving for the rest of the night his eyes scanning and searching, but he didn’t really know what for.

Finally, the sun began to peak over the horizon where it would embark on its daily journey across the heavens. As soon as the first speaks of sunlight hit Roman’s eyes he was moving. He made his way down to Remy’s lab to check on the progress being made on the potion. He hoped they would be done soon. The sooner they were done the sooner the Virgil sized hole in his being would be filled. His footsteps echoed through the still empty hallways. As those Guardians who were not out protecting their Wards had yet to rise at this early morning time. Finally, the Guardian arrived at the door to the Lab. He hesitated before entering settling himself so he didn’t look as strained as felt. Once he deemed himself ready he entered.

“He is drooling on my desk! We need to move him!” Remy whisper yelled at Logan.

“He has been unable to sleep properly all night he needs as much as he can get,” Logan whispered back.

“But the drool. I can’t even. You are like being totally a pain.” Remy continued to whisper.

“I ‘like’ don’t ‘like’ care ‘like’” Logan shot back to the stunned Remy.

“What has your Ward done to you,” Remy asked in shock losing all his sass when met with this strange sarcastic Logan.

“I have no clue as to what you are referring, but I rest my case. Patton gets to sleep until he wakes up naturally.” Logan says electing to ignore Remy’s shock, and putting his foot down.

Remy regaining his composure sighs. “Whatever gurl, but ya gotta clean it up later.” He conceded reluctantly.

“Um, I hate to interrupt, but given that you two have time for bickering does that mean you have finished the potion?” Roman asked making his presence known to the others.

“Well, almost the ingredients have to settle together first before they will become active,” Logan explained.

“How long will that take.” Roman groand being impatient.

Remy glanced at the wall clock where it read 6:55 am. “At least not for another hour.”

Roman groaned impatiently, again. “Fine I am going to go eat something. I will be back in an hour.

______

An hour later Roman returned his stomach full and his patience empty. He had to get to Virgil back soon otherwise he was he was afraid his head would explode. He once again entered the room of the lab to see Patton and Logan talking quietly and Remy scrolling through his Tumblr page.

Roman could scream at them. That damn Gatherer was doing who knows what in Virgil’s body and they are all just chilling out. It was unacceptable. “Well, glad to see you guys are working so hard to get Virgil back.” He spat venomously.

Patton visibly shrunk in on himself at Roman’s harsh words. Those of which Roman was now regretting seeing the death glare Logan shot him. Of course, Patton was doing all he could. But it was obviously not enough for Patton, he wanted to do more.

“Sorry,” Roman mumbled. “I am just really on edge right now… sorry.”

“It’s okay kiddo. We are going to get Virgil back I know it.” Patton said with a reassuring smile. While he sounded confident and sure that what he is speaking is the truth, on the inside, he is the most unsure out of all of them.

“Thanks, Pat,” Roman said appreciating the effort put forth from the clearly distraught man. “So, Remy is the potion ready now?”

Remy reluctantly set his phone down. “Sure is hun, I told you I could do it, gurl.” He walked over and picked up a large vial containing a purple liquid. “It all ready to go, but ya gonna need to listen to me very carefully before you go drinking this.”

Roman nodded. “Ok so like, you’re gonna drink this and it will make you like fall asleep and then basically your mind will be transported into the mind of the person you are thinking’ of. It’ll like probably help if you say his name or whatever before you fall asleep. Then once you're in his mind ya can’t get out until he wakes up.” Remy explained.

“Okay, so how do I wake him up?” Roman asked.

“That depends on him and you boo. Every mind is different and this isn’t exactly something that is like normal. So I don’t know.” Remy shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay, well there is no time like the present,” Roman announced grabbing the vial from Remy, ready to chug it.

“Wait!” Remy warned before Roman could drink it. “First off you’re gonna want to be on a bed before you drink that if you don’t want to end up face first on the floor. Second, you don’t want to drink all of it I made like way too much.” Roman nodded and started out the door to find somewhere he could lay down. The other three close behind.

The group eventually ended up in the room Patton had spent the night in, or at least some of it before his nightmare. Roman sat down on the bed ready to go. “Good luck Roman. Remember to act with caution.” Logan advised.

“See ya later gurl,” Remy said trying to figure out what he was going to eat for breakfast. Hey, so what if his friend was going off on a dangerous mission he was hungry.

Patton just shifted uncomfortably not saying a word.

Roman smiled at the group. “I shall be back. With Virgil safe and sound.” He said regally. With that, he took a small sip of the potion. Gently set it down on the nightstand before saying: “Virgil.” Then his body slumped down on to the bed in deep sleep.

“Well, there is nothing else we can do except wait,” Logan stated matter-of-factly.

Logan and Remy both started out o the room heading to do other things. Patton remained unmoving staring at Roman, his mind racing.

“Patton, are you okay?” Logan asked turning around in the hallway.

Patton turned his head tears threatening to tumble down his cheeks. He then seemed to make up his mind on a decision. He bounded forward to the nightstand. He grabbed the vial containing the potion.

“Patton what are you…” Logan starts.

“I’m sorry I have to help.” Patton cries, and before Logan can take action he takes a sip of the potion. “Virgil, I’m coming.” With that Patton’s body crumples to the floor, completely limp.

Every nerve in Logan’s body screams at him. His Ward is in danger he has to do something. He looks the vial in Patton’s limp hand most has spilled onto the ground when he fell but there is just a little left. Without thinking Logan grabs the vial and downs its contents. “Virgil.” Is all he manages to say before his body falls next to Patton his blue wings blanketing the small Ward.

Remy stands in the hallway really annoyed. “Well, there go my plans. Damn it gurls, I just wanted to go eat."

________

Chapter 12

Tag list: @whatwashernameagain, @logicallyanxious-morallyromantic, @anony-phangirl, @sleepyssnail, @phlying-squirrel, @v-doodles, @virgilcrofters, @yangsembercelica, @barlibismi, @music-and-monsters. Let me know if you want to be added

#sanders sides #sander sides au #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #remy sanders #angst #Gaurdian Angel #nightmare

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