#but how do people keep finding it 😭
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#ok you caught me I forgot about this don’t tell Rob 😰#I can’t delete this blog that’s letting the void win.#but how do people keep finding it 😭#I love u all does someone else want to take over answering asks#(offering his fate to the world)
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I’ll probably delete this later, because I genuinely not trying to start anything. I just want to drop a gentle reminder that authors put a lot of time and effort into their works — from plot, to dialogue, to themes, it takes a lot of brain power and planning and dedication to create and put your work out into the ethos.
I have more to say on this but tbh it’s all based on a series of anons and comments I’ve received over the last few weeks, and I’m not going to subject you all to my whining. But please remember to be patient — whether it’s for waiting for the next installment or getting confirmation whether certain things will/wont happen — the wait is half the experience. I know instant gratification is the norm, but it’s really disheartening to see people write off your hard work before it’s even out because they’re convinced something is going to happen one way or another.
In other words, please recognize the time and effort it takes creators to put out content.
#I could go on but honestly I’m about to cry because I’m just so tired#and this makes no sense so I’m sorry#but it’s really hard to find the motivation to keep writing when people are like ‘sorry you said it might be sad so I can’t read!’#like bestie it’s not out yet 😭 how do you know 😭
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the thing about trauma and i think the reason im always more compelled by characters who lash out as a result of it instead of being made stronger by it is that it’s pointless. none of that shit happened for a reason. there’s nothing you’re supposed to do now that it happened. i can’t stand narratives that romanticise trauma bc the reality of it is that you went through that for no reason and you have to just deal and keep going. there’s nothing beautiful or brave about it. no one is writing you for it to mean something. it’s just… there
#like even good victims of trauma who do respond well and bravely and become better for it - none of that happened BECAUSE of their trauma#it happened bc of how they chose to respond to it. it happened because of THEM#trauma is inherently a non-human thing it cannot have emotions like bravery it cannot be personified#it’s just an object you carry with you and some people bear it better than others#i think a lot of people bc of narratives we see in media find themselves irl looking for some Great Purpose behind their trauma#like it had a point all along and some greater being is writing it in a concise way that makes narrative sense#but this is real life and it was pointless and im sorry that it didn’t mean a fucking thing. now get up and keep going#sorry if this is super negative lmao 😭
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Fun fact I used to consume a lot of Land of the Lustrous stuff.
Anyways this is one of my many Land of the Lustrous OCs, Vivianite. Mohs hardness of 1.5, dark green/blue in colour, and very old. Due to the nature of his weak composition, Vivianite can't actually do much of anything, and has had to live under very specific conditions.
Vivianite wears a tight full body uniform to hold any chipped pieces in place, and is kept in a box stuffed with loose cloth to ensure minimal damage. If he comes into contact with light, he begins to oxidize and darken, so he's kept in a windowless room with curtains over the entrance.
That's all to say he's isolated and bored. He spends much of his time inactive, but he'll jump at the opportunity for conversation if there's someone around. Certain gems visit him to chat, get guidance, or give him the recent news. A task given to some gems is to clear his room of dust, and maybe bring him some books if he's up for it.
Vivian sees himself as an older sibling/friend to many of the other gems, and as such he's very keen on providing a listening ear and giving advice where possible to those who need it. He's essentially emotional support in a can.
Other notes/details:
not all gems know Vivian exists! He's hidden away so most gems wouldn't see him unless they were actively looking for him. A lot of the older ones know about him, but the younger ones don't
Rutile is endlessly tired of having to glue him back together so often due to his softness, which is part of why he has a tighter uniform to keep all his broken pieces in place
Vivian struggles with walking, he tends to be slow and stumbly
the tanks in Vivian's room are for jellyfish. Gems who are sent to clean his room have to switch out the jellyfish too. They're there to provide a faint light source so he doesn't go completely inactive
Vivian, despite living in a box in the dark, has a lot of technical knowledge about things as a result of millennia of going through the library collection. He' a living encyclopedia and can usually offer some answers if a gem has questions on a particular subject
his internal structure is basically a lot of shards stuck together like fibers, so he does minor repairs on himself by affixing strands of his hair into empty spots. He's had his fingers repaired and replaced this way often
In the few instances where Vivian has gone outside, he has an abnormally high amount of energy as a result of his inclusions being able to work at full capacity in the light
If I remember anything else I'll add it, anyways have a good day!
#houseki no kuni#hnk#land of the lustrous#hnk fanart#hnk oc#hnk bort#not mentioned in the main post but shit man Vivianite wants to perish 😭#he's always felt like a burden as a result of his weak body‚ if it weren't for the fact he can't walk outside#he would've thrown himself into the sea to never rise again#he'd always asked Sensei if there was a way he could get stronger‚ and that's partly why he read so much in hopes to find a cure#when he heard about Phos' body getting replaced‚ he was both distraught and excited‚ because he felt so bad for Phos#but this was a way for him to become greater‚ if only he could just figure out how to guarantee it'd work (because otherwise he'd be#a burden again as they are forced to repair him and look after him through recovery)#that's also why he likes to talk with people; he can serve and assist others that way‚ he's trying to compensate for his lacking strength#tl;dr Vivianite is horrifically weak and makes up for it with his heart and mind in order to feel less bad about not being able to do more#also (unrelated) he tends to be touchy and holds people's hands/faces/hair a lot. He does this knowing the risk and he couldn't care less#also also‚ he has weird inclusions. What makes them odd is the fact that he can move them around and concentrate them in different areas#he's stiff cause he keep most of his inclusions packed in his torso‚ not his limbs. This also ensures he doesn't lose anything#by touching something and having his fingers (inevitably) flake apart#There's more but I'll save that for later. Good day ^^
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rate the outfit
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 2#yakuza series#yakuza kiwami 2#yakuza 2#daigo dojima#snap sketches#see i did it i told you i'd do it#pov: you are at hot topic and trying to find something (he does not work there don't ask him)#segway section into something toally unrelated to people who do not frequent my blog :)#everyone else go away. unless you wanna keep reading 😳#i watched Not Quite Dead Yet while i was finishing a comm and WHAT a movie#it made me want to call my dad so you know it was good 😭#IT WAS CUTE THO FR i really loved how all th details of the movie tied in in the later sections#like the password being nanase's name but through the period table's numbers... stop that was cute#feels weird to say that as a highlight but i genuinely thought it was cute 😔#im not gonna lie tho when nanase was lookin through her dad's phone brother was emo#i think a lot about what would happen when people i love die and i always think of doing that.. like still texting them.. and whatever..#lemme move on from the somber moment thojVAERLKVA PLEASE when her dad was in the afterlife tho#HER MOM WAS SO CUTE both like. physically and just personality wise#we saw her for ten minutes and i have also fallen in love with her idc#they had to game end her cause they knew if we got to see any more scenes with her and kei i'd start crying i KNOW they'd be cute together#together more than what we got to see anyway... we know what i mean...#THE ENDING SHOT WAS ESP SO CUTE STOPPPP kinda creepy with her just. In Limbo but then she just. DEATH !! 👆#nanase's song to her dad at the funeral had me :(( too im so weak for dads and their kids reconciling/having a nice relationship stop#big L for her not signing up for a record label tho idc like OK its sweet she's working with her dad BUT CMONNNNN#you can do both queen.... i would prefer you do it alone cause Kid Falls In Line always makes me want to chew glass#BUT i will excuse it this time.. i repeat for The End Shot that was cute and the rest of the movie was lovely so ill let it slide#final note before i use up all my tags again i loved her concert outfit 😔give me them bracelets girl i cant find any
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sims twitch chat is insufferable omg i wish some of you would just own the fact that you like to complain 😭 please it'd be so much less annoying than this transparently fake outrage every single time there's a new pack
please there's nothing that COULD make you happy why are you STILL pretending to be so shocked and appalled it's so embarrassing. just be a hater!!!
#we cannot keep pretending everything is valid criticism some people WANT a reason to be mad ok it's time to admit it#'we don't want this we want THIS' ok and if you got that you'd still find something to whine about because you just want to whine!!!!#and then it would be 'no we don't want that we want THIS' like jskdjsalkdjas#will never forget when the first teaser for infants dropped and it was that like 3 second clip and simblr immediately was#'oh so there won't be [blank] included?????????????? of course 🙄'#like they showed you 3 seconds how do you know it won't be included 😭😭😭
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#i could see the benefits of both#wanting to stay anonymous to keep my main safe from any hate (thankfully none so far) and from ppl messaging my main for requests;#but also wanting to see how everyone would react to knowing 😅#BUT i also fear doing a reveal only to find out literally no one cares or even worse: people start to unfollow 😭#i don't think i'm that big a name in this fandom on my main - nor am i a controversial figure but i still fear it lmao#uh.. anyway#not eddie in places
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pharmacies should automatically give you (or at the very least offer) naloxone any time you get an opioid prescription
#and that naloxone should be free#i already keep naloxone in the house but neither the pharmacy or the doctor mentioned it???? which is wild to me#all this shit about controlled substances and “don't get addicted!” but NOTHING about naloxone??????#blows my mind#ur just expecting people to rawdog opioids possibly for the first time in their life post surgery & u offer no harm reduction whatsoever 😳#i don't think this is an individual failing idk how common this knowledge is this is definitely systemic#they didn't teach it to us even working in healthcare on surgery recovery wards?????#i remember sitting in class listening about opioids and when it got to the end of the lecture the prof still hadn't said#anything about naloxone i asked them about it and they said “what?” and i was like 😟 uhhhhhh#yk#the life saving overdose reversing medication 😭#and everyone in the class just looked at me n prof was like “why do u know that” and i was like “why wouldn't u teach about it”#WILD#we didnt even have any not locked in med stations and the nurses on these rehab wards sucked#so i always kept at least a one in my scrub pockets#anyway naloxone is really fucking important!!!!!! u can usually find some for free in ur county#i used to have a whole thing abkht where to get free naloxone and needles and stuff i need to find that#harm reduction#naloxone#opioids
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it's been a month since we moved into the new apartment -
I'm so stressed. everything is stressful. we're still not done building the kitchen but it's getting there (slowly). mostly we just need to wait until we get a couple parts that weren't in stock when we ordered the rest. I'm hoping it'll be done by next weekend.
some of it is very frustrating with my brain specifically. I'm so bothered by all the tiny little things that no one else would even notice - like, some of the handles on the drawers are very slightly crooked (as in, less than a millimeter higher on one side) - but for me it's so obvious that it's impossible to ignore. my husband didn't even know what I meant when I pointed it out to him. there's also been a few slightly bigger issues, but we've solved them now (I think).
my eye has been twitching for like three to four weeks. not all the time obviously, but every few minutes. it's very, very annoying.
we still have no new info about when we'll have internet finally. it could take a while still.
on Monday a guy has to replace something in the electric roller shutters in one room - but we don't know which one yet. so either I'll have to let him into my room (awful, uncomfortable, will have to tidy up tomorrow so he could even get to the window), or I'll have to get both our cats into their carrier if it's the one in my husband's room (awful, difficult, one of them doesn't like that so he'll be scared and I'll feel bad).
also on Monday the electrician will install our stove (if he has time). then we're getting two ikea deliveries. and I've got an appointment with my (new) GP because I need a prescription, and I'm very (verrry) nervous about it.
I miss watching TV. I miss tumblr and YouTube and messaging my friends whenever I want and sending them photos all the time. I miss order and structure and (some level of) routine. I miss using real cutlery (we still haven't found ours lol).
when I was finally starting to get used to the noises in this place, the family above us moved in with their baby that cries all the time very very loudly and most of the time right above my room. so now everything is different again and I'm not adjusting well and once again I can't sleep.
but, I've listened to 14 audiobooks since we moved! that's been nice. it was the same way when we moved the last time (just over a year ago..). my favourite by far was The Thursday Murder Club. I've got the other ones in the series but I'm trying not to listen to them too quickly, so I'm gonna listen to three other books first (one is done already, so I should get there on Monday or Tuesday hopefully).
#long rambly post sorry#I miss talking about the random uninteresting shit that happens in my life on here all the time#I've got data on my phone again now at least so that's good. but the phone signal is still awful indoors so it's not that useful#but anyway.... logically I know I'm doing an okay job with unpacking and everything but it doesn't feel like it#also I'm probably gonna have to try to find at least a part time job pretty soon and I'm really really really scared. terrified.#not just of trying to find something and interviews and all that#but that I won't be able to handle it. physically and mentally. again.#I've only had one full time job (an apprenticeship actually) and I lasted 3 months.#and at my part time job I only lasted a month#like. I can barely get anything done in a day as it is. I have so little energy. everything is so fucking hard and exhausting#I truly don't understand how everyone does it. I don't understand how it's possible.#but if I don't find something we won't have money for food next month sooooo it is sort of kind of important#it sucks so fucking much. I can't stand or walk for long periods of time. can't do too much with my hands. I'm not good at dealing with#people/customers. I panic and can't think when I get nervous (which is most of the time). I can't remember shit.#so like. what job am I supposed to do??? everything hurts all the time already and I'm always tired and I'm barely keeping it together#fuuuuck this#😭#personal
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Im going to have to learn new depths of emotional maturity to handle the field school this season tbh
#several people I would rather NOT spend my summer doing manual work with are going AND the director said she’s moving me from my trench of#2 years to a different trench bc of some valid reasons of what I know a lot about BUT that trench is MY baby and we were FINALLY through th#roof tile layer and I spent 2 years waiting for that#and my dig wife isn’t going this year 😭😭😭😫😫😫😫#she’s moving me to the trench that they found a forge in and didn’t get to bedrock yet in and I wrote my thesis on tools so like fair#but I fucking worked my ass off for that other trench and I don’t get to be there for the fruit of my labors#last season was HARD it rained so much and we were so busy and couldn’t excavate very many hours and the professional archaeologist assigned#to my trench had a different commitment so I was In Charge of that trench and fighting for my life to keep the mood up of the undergrads I#was supervising and I was in charge of making HARD decisions about how to excavate that trench#and now I’m being put at a different trench and like they already found the evidence of the forge like what more am I going to find there#but despite my gentle and polite protestations I am being reassigned to be in charge of that unit#which fine I’ll do my absolute best but I’m still upset
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Not to say one can't consume media they don't 100% agree with (I do the same so like), but you talk a lot about how the core views of TPN vs BSD change your entire way of enjoying these two, and I was wondering what drew you in into BSD if there are so many aspects of it you disagree with?
(Not meant as an attack or as a questioning of you enjoying it, I always am interested in your analysis so this is just out of curiosity, and also I am planning to pick up TPN again sometime this year)
#I've probably already mentioned it somewhere but this was the exact picture that made me start liking sskk wwwwww#And by extension made me stick around bsd#That said do I really talk a lot about t/pn???? To think I was doing my best to keep it at minimum‚ sorry‚ I sincerely didn't realize 😭😭😭#In the end sskk is just a ship I particularly enjoy consuming (and producing I guess) content of in this particular period of my life-#about that I know for sure I would definitely have hated the pairing when I was 14-18 ahah.#And tbh I hope next I'll hyperfixate on healthier ships#But I just. at this time of my life I find the idea of someone loving you despite you not being a good person strangely comforting.#The idea that even the most evil of people can be loved is oddly reassuring#Besides I like the fandom! I mean‚ in the perfect world at this point I would still be in the p/p fandom... But my p/p hyperfixation ended–#up burning out sooner than how it would have done organically because the fandom was nearly non existent and the canon content was–#untranslated and extremely difficult to access. With bsd the monthly chapters release is ideal in the way it’s both a constant influx of–#new content without it being overwhelming. And it's enjoyable to be part of an active fanbase!#I like receiving asks. And celebrating character birthdays together.#sskk#people asks me stuff#That being said please read t/pn if you can!!!! It's really a fabulous story with incredibly insightful themes.#But also remember not to watch the anime since it's not a good adaptation!!!!!!!#As for the physical reason why I got into bsd: it was to impress a girl. duh
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missed the third year optional module form opening so i won't be able to get onto the one module i was semi-excited about. all because i didn't care enough about uni at the time to check my emails
#biomed eng#just spent 2 hours on one question for a lab report#haven't finished it#just found out i missed the chance to do what i've wanted to do since very early on#and the people who got it are biomedical sciences and sorry there are only 9 biomed engineers#we should have been given priority#since it's an engineering module...#fuck off out of here with ur sciences 😭😭😭#i don't mean that. i'll be less annoyed later jddbd#i am finding it so hard to care at the moment i really need this to stop#'this' meaning everything but especially my degree#if i keep dreaming about my father's suicide#every single night#how am i supposed to think an exam and a qualification is at all important#i doubt anyone is reading this#he's alive and it's just my paranoia#illogical but part of me knows he will try#with certainty#and absolutely nothing else matters
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inuokko.... yuu2... yuwuta do i dare ask you how you feel about okkofushi next?
ofc you can but be prepared for me to be very unnormal about everything mentioned in this ask 😁😁🤒
#anonymous#can you..... tell i like yuuta :/#i also love to think about how all his pairings pan out + reader bc its very <3 to me why have one when u can have fun!#i think inuokko is the most fair/even they both approach u at the same time and want the 3 of u to work#yuuji and yuuta.... bites hand.... gathers myself...... how do i say this......#feels like yuuta thinks yuuji is way too cute for his own good + youre cute with yuuji#and yuuta leans very quickly that he likes the feeling of having u both admire him... having people to protect and want to keep to himself.#ANYWAY! okkofushi rise but theyre tough i feel like it takes a while#lots of dancing around each other and dancing around you#megumi swears he's over his crush on yuuta bc he has a crush on you (which he will deny and take to his grave if he can help it)#but somehow along the way you and yuuta become friends and it's. a lot for megumi lets just say that#think u and yuuta have to find a way to make a move on megumi because hes..... special <3 lets say that#anyway...........................#in general tho im not picky or have particularly strong feelings about ships in general so in addition to loving yuuta#thats part of the reason i like all of these <2#as far as jjk goes there's only two ships i would say i dont like/dont care to talk about but it's like. im not gonna rag on it either yk 😭#honestly tho... even tho i am biased and the most informal about yuuta and yuuji at least u didn't ask about itafushi...#the things i could say... lord...
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i found out today that i wasn't the only person on my team to get laid off, which makes me feel better. misery loves company etc
#they axed TWO people on my team of FIVE. absolute massacre#the other guy is here on a visa too so he has to find a new job in 2 months or else he gets deported#fucking awful!!!!! at least i can take my sweet time. which i intend to lmao i need a week or two to recover#i get 8 weeks severance and i'm still gonna get my annual incentive in april which'll probably be another month of salary#and i do have savings. if i'm frugal i could be fine until the end of the year#but i obviously don't want to do that lmao i'm aiming for being employed or at least close within 2 months#anyway my work bestie gave me the scoop today. she's taking over my work for me when i'm gone#my last day is the 26th and from now until then all my meetings are with her to ~*~ knowledge transfer ~*~#half our happy hour squad was laid off 😭 our friend who works at the parent company was also laid off#we're gonna go out and get trashed friday night as a last hurrah#work bestie and i are still down to keep the happy hours going lol but we'll see how the other half of the squad feels#m.txt
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tbh i'm genuinely very interested in other peoples' take on the new album cover, i like reading about how people interpret it (if you even plan to post what you thought about it tho, im just saying im genuinely interested)
Aaah thank you!! I hope I will, but if I write it now it will be like 3000 words, including a take on how Edmund Burke is a big ass racist and how it is is widely... like surgically dissected from his interesting ideas (as with any old philosopher I guess, only I read the source text and I'm like still so appalled that idk how to talk about him with good conscious, I'm sorry. just laughing atm cus wtf man). But I guess it's out of my system with this, like you have my little footnote on it right here. - which is just such a out of line side track, anyway-
also kinda unsure of how to differentiate between why I think Blur has chosen the photo (consciously or not, but like what aesthetic values and emotions have gone into it) vs my own just read on the photo and why I think its such a good photo
I think it goes hand in hand ofc, but there's a distinction to be had. I also haven't thought about any of their prev album covers? But this one really evoked a lot in me I guess
oh and I forgot to mention- I didn't finish the analysis so I can't post it now now, but I would love to delve into it w
#Sorry for being so hung up on Burke. He talked about the Sublime which I think the photo evokes. thats the relevance#I also study aesthetics but fuck if I know how to use that word#But I do love it when people encourage me to talk about it 😭#like really appreciate it cus I never know how interesting people actually find it#Anonymous#asks#wtf is this post sorry#again like a bottle of wine down at this point this is just how my brain does#Just update: great going me. Keeping this up for now tho. Very unsure about the w at the end there
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bleh
#having a bad morning tbhhhh#i envy the ppl who grew up here :| it's so much easier to make friends when u went to school w ppl and grew up with them#i have been here since 2016 and was just trying to get stability the first 3 years financially/housing-wise.#and when i was Finally ready to start making friends the pandemic happened.#the closest thing I've had to friends were made thru my ex and when we broke up they ghosted me.#to this day i have not made a single genuine friend and i can't articulate how hurtful that is to think about.#and i get excited when i might have a new friend but do the audhd balancing act where i tone myself down so i don't scare them away#but then idk. maybe i just come off as uninteresting or indifferent. idk what the perception of me is bc no one ever tells me anything lol.#i just get ghosted a lot 😭 it's Literally so much easier to find ppl to fuck than it is to find friends. idk why this is so hard but it's#frustrating. everyone has lukewarm interest in me at best and i have so much to offer when I've opened up to someone.#and i can't rly talk w ppl about how I'm feeling. and i can't do anything but keep trying over and over or else i WILL fr have no friends.#it's just. like. I'm not a normal person w normal circumstances and interacting w people who already have a ton of friends and stuff#going on is hard. there's like this burning desire for companionship in u as the person NEEDING it that no one else has#bc they already have it yk? ur just kind of a footnote on everyone's day/week. u don't have that kind of relationship where#u can Just Go Over or just have ppl over. ppl can hang like once a month maybe. i hate it here but also don't want to leave :|#everything is great except trying to make friends. idk i just wanted to vent lol I'm done ranting and might just delete#but this feeling wells up inside me and some days is so hard to ignore 😭#'i have been here since 2016 and don't have a single genuine Friend' what the fuck 😭😭#ik that wfh doesn't Help but i wouldn't be able to get anything done in person in my position lol. plus it's less about where ppl are#and more about how relationships (dont) develop past a certain point.#i have someone I've been talking with probs longest out of everyone so far and we're gonna hang this weekend#but I'm also perpetually afraid I'm gonna scare them away or something and be back at square 1 😭#and idk im afraid that might translate into seeming shy or something and I'd hate for them to lose interest anyways ._.#but idk how much of that is valid vs my brain just being mean to me and paranoid over my other experiences.#anyways... yea thnx for reading if u did. i feel crazy 😮💨
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