My brain is such a mixed bag. It doesnt understand anything

so this post has been made unrebloggable now (shocker) but ive been feeling the need to address it since i saw it on my dash multiple times, so let's explore how lying on the internet works. more specifically, how blending truth, lies, and omissions to whip uninvolved people into anger works, because i think this is an excellent example and that pointing out the misinformation and the tactics used to spread it here is important, both in correcting the specific falsities but also in helping recognize similar tactics in the future.

so here we have several things that are technically true: staff has been very openly shitty to trans women for a long time and them banning predstrogen is clearly part of that, there is currently a movement regarding discussing transmisandry/transandrophobia, transmisogyny and transphobes sending transphobic asks is by far nothing new, and baeddel is/was a slur. however, among all of this are half-truths, unprovable speculation, or outright lies made to make you believe these events are originating specifically from transmascs.

firstly, the transandrophobia movement has been drastically misrepresented here in the same way it has been for the whole argument, "they're just trans MRAs" has been repeated so many times now that i'm gonna be hearing it in my dreams when i'm 80. i can understand not being willing to address the nuance of that whole discourse in one post that isn't directly focused on that, i'm certainly not, but in this example it's not unwillingness to address a complicated topic, it's a deliberate misrepresentation to frame one side of the discussion as The Evil Bad Ones That Can't Be Trusted. additionally, this post IS about that discourse and is just pretending it isn't to mislead a wider audience, so refusing to address it at all beyond this brief mention is deliberately misleading people about the goals of the group because They're The Other Side Of The Discourse. "transmisogynists" is used as a buzzword here, it doesn't actually refer to Anyone Who Hates Transfemmes, it refers to Transmascs Who Discuss Transmasc-Specific Oppression Using A Word They Coined To Point Out That Queer Spaces Have A Big Problem With Masculinity and just. doesn't tell you that's what it means, relying on the structure and framing of the post to create the Transmisogynist = Transmasc association in the audience's head so op doesn't have to say it outright (and of course the implied Transmasc = Transmisogynist association that follows because creating THAT association is the Actual Point of this post). the mentions of transmascs in this post are designed to look like afterthoughts, op says "typically those who espouse transandrophobia" to make it look like they're saying there's other people they're referring to here too, but almost everything in this post draws from the transandrophobia discourse. some random cis transphobe in texas has never heard the term baeddel in their entire life much less used it in a debate about transphobia, this is an intercommunity argument through and through, but op is trying to mask the fact that they're just referring to "transmascs who disagree with me specifically" and make it look like it's part of a wider trend. and again, i'm not going to go into the nuances of transandrophobia here, but i highly recommend reading some of the theory on it by @nothorses (x) and @genderkoolaid (x) because the "theyre just trans MRAs" argument kinda just collapses under its own weight as soon as you look into it even a smidgen. i've linked a couple broad overviews there but they both discuss it frequently and in-depth, specifically nothorses has a pinned post linking to many different discussion threads that i would recommend checking out if you do want to learn more about what the actual conversation surrounding these words is.

so, after framing the movement this way, they go on to say that the reason predstrogen was banned wasn't /just/ because staff has a long and established hate boner for trans women, but because the transandrophobia movement was teaming up with TERFs to mass-report her and other transfemmes, and implies that this is part of a deliberate conspiracy between Transandrophobia Truthers™, TERFs, and staff. you'll notice that there are no, say, screenshots of transmascs saying theyre deliberately reporting her or of that they're working with TERFs, behind-the-scenes lists of people who reported a certain account, or any evidence for this beyond "she was a trans woman, they're trans men who hate trans women, she got banned, so these must be related". which i find especially funny now given that photomatt has continued melting down about this since it happened and made it pretty clear it yknow. was just part of staffs ongoing hate campaign against trans women that has been going on much longer than the transandrophobia debate? and that maybe the fact that The Literal CEO is having a personal meltdown about this might explain where that could be coming from or at least why it's been allowed to continue for so long, moreso than any individual users reporting someone could? but i digress.

who reported what account is completely unprovable as a casual user unless people directly admit they did it, so to bring it up like this begs the question of what actual reasoning they have for saying it beyond trying to tie a current display of bigotry into an unrelated discourse. that's not to say it's impossible people who discuss transandrophobia were wrongfully reporting her, because again, thats something we have no way of knowing, and the internet is a shit place so i wouldn't be surprised. but given the circumstances and the rest of the lies here, i have my doubts about this being an actual yknow. Thing That Happened rather than just another lie to make people mad at transmascs. now one could make the argument that op wasn't saying transmascs are /deliberately/ teaming up with TERFs/staff, that "teaming up" was just a poor choice of words to refer to multiple groups who happen to have the same goals in mind at the same time but aren't actually coordinating with one another, but given the deliberate misinformative slant of the rest of the post and the overall phrasing in this section, i have trouble extending that grace. regardless, however, that doesn't change that who is reporting who isn't something verifiable, so stating it here as a confirmed fact is disingenuous at the absolute best, and a lie chosen specifically because it's unprovable at worst. if op /does/ have proof that transmascs have been teaming up with TERFs to get trans women banned, not including that with this post is just uhhhhh dumb, and if op /doesn't/ have proof then Why Would You Go Around Telling People That's What Happened Unless You Were Lying To Them On Purpose With Ulterior Motives.

next, op goes on to discuss the rise of the term baeddel. now as i said before, the truth here is that it certainly was a slur and certainly can still be used as one, again the internet is a shit place so i would be a fool if i tried to say "no one is using this as a slur". however, this is once again a drastic misrepresentation of the situation. baeddel's rising use is due to certain trans women reclaiming it and aligning themselves with the original group's politics, namely that femininity is good and masculinity is bad (aka terfism 101), with the added caveat that by abandoning femininity for masculinity, transmascs are evil and betraying devine womanhood and their community by putting more Evil Manhood into the world. of course that in turn is a drastic oversimplification of their politics and i highly recommend checking out this post with an actual in-depth exploration of the history (and without my added flavor), but the important part to note here is that this is not a term transmascs just Started Using one day because they hate transfems so very much as is implied here, its use is directly tied to a group of people saying "hello, here is what i am, and here is what this word means about what i believe," so others went "ok, these specific beliefs are called this." bringing up the fact that it historically was a slur is misdirection here, when you look closer this is almost a 1 to 1 translation of TERFs crying that TERF and radfem are slurs because People Don't Like Their Politics And Therefore Them, so the name for their politics is used negatively, so therefore it's a slur. that argument just has a little more oomph behind it this time because It Was A Slur Originally. and again, that isnt to say no one is now using it as a slur, the rate of decay for online discourse is ridiculous so it being boiled down to and used as "evil transfemme" has certainly already happened, but to act like /every/ use of it is a slur is literally just a lie, when you self-identify with a term based on your shared politics with the original group then you do not get to claim everyone using that term to describe those politics is doing so exclusively to attack you. also this part is entirely speculation but given that op's url is basically just. baeddel switched around to dae bel, i would hazard a guess that they perhaps are indeed aware of the origins of its re-use? but again, that's entirely unprovable and based just on wordplay, but like. given the Everything here i wouldn't be surprised. now, there's definitely an argument to be made about calling users baeddels based just off of their politics when they don't personally self-identify with it, if that constitutes calling someone a slur and if TIRF should be used instead, but crucially, that is not the argument being made here. the argument being made is "ANY AND ALL use of this term is calling someone a slur," and that literally just Isn't The Case.

finally, to tie the whole post off, op reminds us 1) if you hear anything bad about any trans woman ever, it's probably a lie to make her look bad, and 2) if you hear anyone say anything about transandrophobia, disregard everything else they have to say because they hate trans women. not "be critical of the things you see or get sent" or "be on the lookout for things following a certain pattern," a unilateral "anything bad is probably fake and anyone who uses the bad words is probably evil." that is not something someone does if they are genuinely trying to raise awareness of an ongoing trend, that is what someone does when they want you to turn your brain off and be mad at a group no matter what they say.

so yeah, in summary, do be critical of the things you see and be on the lookout for certain patterns, because sometimes people will just Lie to you. or, sometimes people will tell you portions of the truth while leaving out crucial bits so that you'll come to the conclusion they want without anyone being able to say they lied to you without typing up a thirty paragraph long hell post. transmisogyny is absolutely a problem on this site and there are 100% valuable conversations to be had about it and its presence within the trans community, but this post is not that. this post uses real transmisogyny and the wrongful termination of a trans woman's account as set dressing to say that it was all because of evil transmascs who run the trans community behind the scenes conspiring to take out transfemmes, so you should ignore anything they have to say because All of it is secretly motivated by transmisogyny. they're never discussing transandrophobia because it's something that actually effects them, they're doing it to hurt trans women by saying they have it worse. they're never telling you about shitty things a trans woman did to spread awareness, they're lying to make her look bad, or even if it's true they're only talking about it as part of a hate campaign because she's trans, they wouldn't care otherwise. they're never using a specific term because People Use That Term For Themselves, they're calling someone a slur because they hate trans women. there's always an explanation you can think up that ties it back to transmisogyny, and op says that instead of assessing all of what someone says and the context behind it to determine if that's what's happening, you should assume transmisogyny is the answer and refuse to engage any further as soon as you see a word you've been told is bad.

this post is discourse recruitment masquerading as a public service announcement that doesn't offer you any routes to actually learn more about what's going on, it just tells you Here's What's Happening, Here's Who's Evil And Should Be Ignored, And If You Disagree You're Also Evil And Should Be Ignored. content of the actual post aside, i think anything framed that way should be taken with a MASSIVE grain of salt and this would have raised my alarm bells even if i wasn't already pretty familiar with the arguments, people who genuinely want you to know something just because it's good to know will give you options to learn more or encourage you to actually use your critical thinking to assess things, not tell you to sit down and shut up and ignore anyone who disagrees with them.

anyways i guess tldr

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

finally found a place to read With the Light online and i'm thrilled; if you haven't read this manga i do Legitimately recommend it

The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.

Sometimes I ponder the idea of going back to a single blog, like,, not in the sense of leaving my currently active multi behind, or Gil behind, but like, that craving of having a new muse, that has their own space,, it feel like I haven't have that in some time already (and to those who know me, it's nothing unusual to find 844738382 blogs following u which are all mine OTJRPRJTRK)

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

The funny thing about playing BG3 right after its release is like. Usually with RPGs I obsessively look up the dialogue for every interaction to make sure I choose the Right Thing but since this game just came out those kinds of guides just... don't exist yet. Like sure I can look up general walkthroughs for different quests, but there's not any articles detailing the approval/disapproval rating for every character on each individual dialogue option like there is for, say Dragon Age, so I'm having to actually fuck around and find out for once

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mmmmmm two sketchbook linebecks im pretty happy with

today in the wild I came across a phrase to the effect "...And this [pair of ethical axioms about what constitutes quality of life for purposes of discussion about disability and coma prognosis, based on the opinion of one person who has not ever been in a coma or disabled thereafter] suggests that maybe, just maybe, [relevantly comatose or recovering or disabled] people may have quality of life sufficient to make them ethically relevant"

that's ... not, um, normally considered to be what makes people "ethically relevant" in the world where all the people are and there's sunshine and grass and things, but, you know what, ok jennifer, A for effort! :) gold star for you, philosopher extraordinaire, moral lodestar for people unsure what to do with granny, paragon of ethical conduct!

Yo people think of this

Dick a lone hunter. Living on the skirt of town, all alone and isolated with only his two hounds as company. His relationship with his extended family is strained, especially after the death of that boy Bruce took in his place. The one who would look at him with worship in his eyes, like he had been searching for something all his life and had finally found it. His demise. His passing had broken them all. Dick didn't form that much of a relationship with him to began with. Too angry at Bruce and too involved in his work and life to care for one more stray Bruce plucked from the streets. But god it had left him wounded. And while the wound had closed it has yet to heal even now.

Dick spends a relatively simple life now. Long gone the glory he once bathed in with his team to a life of tending to cold hollow house with no one to wait for him in it.

Dick first met him after slipping from a cliff where he got himself injured. Something near fatal if he didn't get help as fast as possible. Apparently he separated far a way from his hounds way too far for them to find him in the right time. Not like the poor animals would be able to think of bringing in human help before setting in to find their master anyway.

As he was finishing that thought, He appeared right in front of him. From the snow like a soft blotch of blood with his red fur, a fox. It looked at him and he looked back at it in return. Tentatively inching to where he lay, Dick gripped the knife inside his pocket, ready for the worst, if it decided to attack for whatever reason. But just a few inches from him the fox looked into his eyes. This close Dick can see them now a beautiful haunting teal colour, something he hadn't seen on any other creature before, almost otherworldly. And in it's gaze Dick found something familiar, he doesn't know how, but it feels like this fox recognised him. And Dick in turn recognised him too.

He went away after that, leaving him all back alone. Dick contemplated his departure, somehow feeling lighter of his impeding end. After some time, that couldn't be even an hour long if his estimations were right, Dick heard the sound of dogs and people. He screamed his lunges out for them, with as much strength he musterd after much blood loss. Harsh haltings and the sound of shuffling through the snow, Dick looked up in time to see some of the town's hunters with their own hounds and his, coming his way.

"Richard! Thanks the Deity we found you"

"How?" He managed weakly.

"Your hounds came back to town following a fox! Our own joined them and we followed them to get them back to home, because for some reason they weren't listening to orders.", "and we also worried of your dog, as we know of how well trained they are and how they would not dare leave your side... we worried something happened to you"

Dick didn't really pay much attention past the "Fox" he looked around willing to catch him again and he did. It looked at him from far away. Kept on looking for sometime and then trotted away.

Dick thanked the fox and he thanked the gods for sending him to Dick.

The second time Dick met him, was when he was nursing a heavy fever amidst a snow storm. Harsh knocking on his door had awaken him from restless slumber. He wondered what person out of their mind would be out and about at this time, or it simply could be someone seeking refuge at his shamble of a house. Either way Dick readied his hunting knife and riffle. He opened his door with a harsh gush of storm air entering his house blocking it from him, almost protectively, was a younger man. Dick's high fever faced with sudden cold made his mind all fuzzy and dizzy, because he recognised those eyes, and that face looked like it belonged to someone who never got the chance to grow into it. His illness took the better of him, Dick fell into a strong, warm, chest. Wide shoulders and powerful arms engulfed him, warmth seeping into his quivering body.

"Shush, I got you now"

Tears filled his eyes for some reason, from his illness, the cold or the unexpected surge of weird emotions, he doesn't know. He Couldn't have put his fingers on it even as his life quite literally depended on it. With this stranger at his doorstep, and him in such weakened state.

But Dick felt safe. This man would keep him safe.

Dick woke up. His hounds were laying by either side of him. He looked into his room to find doctor Thompkins in a chair by his side.

"Good morning Dick. How are you feeling? Last night must have been a hard one on you."

"I had a simple fever. What are you doing her Dr Thompkins ?"

"I am afraid it wasn't as simple as you'd like to believe.. if not for that young man taking care of you through it, you might have not gone through last night Dick.", "which, answering to your question, was the one to seek me after you had stabilised a bit. Quite the young man he was, to seek me and drag me through the storm to get to you"

Dick's braind was still fuzzy with the memory. He had thought it a hallucination and nothing more. No person should have had those eye. Especially not him.

"Where did he go" he said instead "I don't know. After he got me here he just left without a word, and you know me I don't ask unnecessary question and would rather spend the time and effort tending to my patient" a beat of silence "you don't know him either" a statement not needing a confirmation "you don't know who I know or might not know", "But I do Dick. Everyone dose know how isolated you are and it's a face I haven't seen around town before"

Dick didn't have anything to say to that. He only thought "Maybe it's an envoy from the deity, a guardian angel, if you Will" he declared. And even through the dizziness and fuzziness he felt, he could confirm. That the weight he felt propping him was very real and human.

"Don't be ridiculous, I never sought you as a religious person"

"Hmm" Dick allowed, signalling he wanted the conversation to end. which Leslie allowed easily.

As she finished with directing him to each medicine he was supposed to take, she made a promis to come check on him in the early evening then she left him to his cold empty house again.

Dick stroked his hounds thinking, yearning, was the fox only going to come to him in times of need? Did he only allow himself in Dick's life only when death was at his door steps waiting for him? Did Jason only come to ward the angels of death away from him, because he regarded Dick as something precious to him,but his anger for Dick's neglect and detachment of him made Jason punish Dick by never returning back to his life properly?

Dick left his hands to his eyes slowly. As the weight of his loneliness settled on his shoulders, the tears started to flood. He hoped his hands were enough to shield him from Jason's ever watching eyes, least he be watching now, and so he might blame Dick's pain on his own self.

hope u guys don't mind me being a little queer sometimes and talking to myself in the tags, it helps clear my head since people can filter out rant posts easily

back to cycling through random underplayed games in my steam library to tide me over i GUESS

i caved and redownloaded crk a few days ago after seeing peppermint cookie finally being added and I was like. Omg ?!?!?! anyway I'm starting to redecorate my kingdom and i made a thing for my sugar gnomes ♥

since I did it for ovenbreak if u wanna add me I'm on the pure vanilla server and my ign is APPLEC0RE (probably will change soon, will edit if I do)

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