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kyouka-supremacy · 2 months

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Who in sskk would you say has the higher IQ?

IQ as in, conventionally smart? Then definitely Atsushi does. I'm sorry. I've said it many times before, but I don't think Akutagawa is a particularly perceptive person. Or witty. Or intelligent in general. It's due to external factors, he never got the chance to have anything that could resemble a proper education; but it's also a matter of his nature, he's just so impulsive, and narrow-minded, and stubborn, he really has the thickest skull ever. But seriously, especially in a world full of geniuses, Akutagawa simply doesn't shine for sharpness of mind, and is way too impulsive and instincts-driven to be a person that relies on reflection or rationality. Everything that Akutagawa does is the epitome of irrational, it's one of the greatest appeals of the character.

Atsushi is smart,,,, I've talked about this also, and I think it's less sustained by canon than for Akutagawa, but I like to think he's a very observant and perceptive person whose intelligence doesn't show because he's constantly surrounded by geniuses, but still he is smart. When it comes to observations skills, I find it easy for him to have them due to his childhood of ill-treatment and abuse: as a defense mechanism, he learnt to be especially observative of people's behaviour in order to tell what sets people off and be able to prevent any escalation, I think that's a widely shared abuse survivor experience. Something among these lines is shown in chapter 51:

I also think Atsushi is a very fast learner. He's observant, and that results in him constantly absorbing other people's knowledge. He's often asking for explanations for Dazai and Ranpo's reasonings, and although I know more often than not it solves an expositive role in the storytelling picture, there's still the fact that it makes Atsushi a person who's constantly trying to understand the reality surrounding him. Atsushi is also shown to be very cool-minded and calculating in fight: from him sliding under Akutagawa and attacking him from behind successfully eluding having to face him front-off in chapter 4, to him retracting his tiger limbs to escape Rashomon's bonds in chapter 12, to the strategy he elaborated with Tanizaki (and his ability to catch up on that) to defeat Lucy in chapter 16, to his attempt to outsmart Fitzgerald in chapter 34 (that, although failed, was still driven by rational thinking nonetheless), and the list could go on. The way in fight Atsushi is shown to ponder over and implement the advices people like Dazai or Mori offered him further makes me believe he's really good at absorbing information. And Atsushi is probably book smart, too! He's compelled by reading to the point he would even risk the orphanage director's punishment just to sneak into the library and read (not explicitly supported by canon, but I can take a guess). According to the second guidebook, he spends his leisure time borrowing books from the library and studying. Overall, he really seems to be rational in all the places Akutagawa is on the contrary driven by impulses¹.

It's like… A physics law when it comes to sskk, that Akutagawa will have the most despicable trait while Atsushi has the trait that is conventionally considered the best; or at least that's as far as my characterization of them goes. Atsushi is beautiful, Akutagawa is ugly². Atsushi is polite, Akutagawa is rude. Atsushi is pure, Akutagawa is stained. Atsushi is smart, Akutagawa isn't. Atsushi is lovable, Akutagawa is destined to cause repulsion in everyone he meets³. In the end, none of this matters: they're no different where it counts, that is, Atsushi isn't any more morally just than Akutagawa is. Atsushi in not any more good than Akutagawa is (I actually suspect the contrary is true). But as far as appearances go, it's still important to portray them as opposites, because Akutagawa being unlovable and Atsushi receiving all the love Akutagawa didn't get for being his contrary - even though deep down they're the same - is almost everything their relationship is about. It's also a big part of why they act like they do towards each other: it's source of Akutagawa's bottomless envy for Atsushi; it's source of how devoted and loyal he will grow to be for him - reaching the point of giving his life for him -, because he can't see Atsushi as anything but perfection. It's source of confidence and of that certain justified hatred towards Akutagawa Atsushi feels because to his eyes Akutagawa is about the worst person to have ever walked on earth. It's source to their wish to annihilate the other as the opposite they can't exist at the same time of. It's the reason Akutagawa had to die, because he's not the good one. Overall it's also expression of Akutagawa's thematic struggle to be good and unavoidable failure at that because of the constraints of a narrative that never wanted him to be good.

But I also think they can make it work. More precisely, I think sskk can make it work when both of them can overcome and defeat the narrative dichotomy they found themselves stuck into: by recognizing that deep common ground of “we're the same” and that where it matters, in morals, neither of them is better or worse than the other. The Beast universe exemplifies that for us readers, but they don't know Beast, so they'll have to realize it by their own. About that, I think Akutagawa already caught on, because he was faster to call out the hypocrisy of Atsushi's good guy façade, and from that it's a short distance to realizing that, as much as he hates to admit it, at his core Atsushi is not that different from himself. It's taking a little more for Atsushi to realize, because it's harder to get down from that higher moral pedestal he believes himself to be on, but with his whole reevaluating Akutagawa after he stopped killing and sacrificed himself for him (and then saved him again. And then showed him how formidable of a team they are when they find a common ground.), I think he's getting there.

Tl;dr: Atsushi is smart and Akutagawa is stupid and yes it fits their personalities, but way more importantly it's consistent with the themes they carry that translate in what their relationship is like.

¹ For further reading on how Atsushi can be witty, please refer to @/gloomierdays's tags on this post. ² For further reading on how Atsushi and Akutagawa's looks can be used to reflect their characters themes, please refer to this post. ³ For further reading on how Akutagawa being not smart (as far as conventional definitions of smart go) ties to his character themes, please refer to this post.

#Answering this exactly one month late I'm so so so so so sorry #To be fair if I didn't set my mind on writing dissertations for every ask I get I'd probably be able to answer them faster #Seriously again I deeply apologize for taking so long ///////#atsushi nakajima #ryūnosuke akutagawa #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #mine #people asks me stuff #I don't even think Akutagawa likes reading lol.#I think he's so restless and impatient‚ his attention span is really far too low to sit down and read something leisurely.#This might as well be my most fandom unpopular sskk opinion of them all ajkfafliugefligwfkqwjyg

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chloecherrysip · 11 months

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all the pain will change into a memory of when we were amazing (mario & luigi-centric post-movie fic, part 2!)

(Part one can be found here!)

(Thanks again to everyone who read the first part and was so sweet about it! Here's the continuation. This is a shorter interlude with Mario and Luigi's family before we get to the main "meat" of the story AKA Mario and Luigi talking on their own in the third part, coming soon. I hope you enjoy, and I appreciate any thoughts/feedback. I will get this uploaded on AO3 as soon as I can as well, if you'd prefer to read over there.)

“Hey-o!”

Things had been so quiet on their long, long, long trek back home that the sudden noise made Mario stiffen as they shuffled through the door, every nerve on high alert for a breathless few seconds. Luigi, who had practically sleepwalked the last block with his head leaned against Mario’s head, using his brother's hat as a makeshift pillow, started too, mumbling a greeting that barely resembled the English language, waving at the front door before realizing he was turned around and swaying around to face the warm light of the dining room instead. It looked like dinner was already over, dishes and silverware being cleared away.

“Look who finally decided to show up! Brooklyn’s brand-new heroes!” Uncle Arthur raised a nearly empty glass of what looked like wine in laughing celebration. “What, you save the city from a bunch of weird turtle goons one time and you’re too good to share a meal with us regular bums?”

“They were helping with the cleanup,” Aunt Marie hissed, swatting him hard enough to elicit a yelp. “Where were you out there, huh?” She smiled warmly at Mario and Luigi on her way to the kitchen. “Sorry we couldn’t wait any longer. Gramps and Mia needed to get to bed. But don’t worry, we saved plenty!”

“Probably too busy signing autographs for all the bella signore,” Uncle Tony guffawed. “Hard to blame ‘em! Better enjoy it before they figure out you’re plumbers with no money!”

“Heh, yeah. Caught us fair and square,” Mario said, managing a weak laugh. Luigi let loose a tiny, snorting chuckle too, although whether that was because he was backing Mario up or just blindly mimicking what he heard, too lost in his own sleepy little world, Mario wasn’t sure. They were still holding onto one another, which they’d maintained the entire walk back except in places where it was impossible to proceed in that way (ladders and the like). That way, a repeat of the stairs incident couldn’t happen, and Mario had known exactly when Luigi was getting shaky enough to need a break. He squeezed his brother’s hand as a way to check in. It took a few seconds, but Luigi squeezed back gently, which was a small relief.

“Is that the boys!?” Without any further warning, their mother barreled out of the kitchen like a runaway train. She grabbed them in both arms, her shaking grip tight enough that both brothers wheezed from a sudden lack of air. “Oddio, where have you been? You already vanished on us once! My old heart can’t take much more of this.”

“You’re not that old, Ma,” Luigi murmured, patting her shoulder.

“Sorry,” Mario said as clearly as he could manage with his face smothered in her hair. “Didn’t mean to make ya worry. Just, uh, lost track of time, that’s all.”

“What happened?” That was Dad, moving slower to catch up with her, his brow creased deep. “Are you all right?”

“Never been better!” Luigi insisted, overly bright. The bone-crushing hug had woken him up a little, but now he was using his I’m definitely lying but maybe if I speak at a much higher volume, no one will be able to tell voice. “We were just, y’know, real busy making sure everyone on the block could still…flush their toilets! Everyone forgets how important that is. Can ya believe it?”

“And we had to make sure our friends got home safely too,” Mario jumped in, rubbing his mom’s back with his free hand as she continued to hold on for dear life. You get temporarily swallowed by a giant, man-eating plant in front of your parents one time… “But we’re definitely not going anywhere for the rest of the night, and Aunt Marie said something about leftover food, if you can forgive us…?”

“Of course, of course.” She finally stepped back, but not before one good, firm pinch of the cheek between her fingers for each of them. “You’ve worked so hard, my brave boys. You must be about ready to turn inside out from hunger already. Sit, sit, I’ll bring it to you—”

“Actually, Ma,” Mario interjected as gingerly as possible. “It’s been a really, really long day. Could we, uh, maybe take the food in our room? I know, I know, you don’t like that, but if anything gets messy, I’ll take care of it, promise—”

“Ya can’t be serious!” Uncle Tony spoke up all of a sudden, his chair screeching against the floor as he jumped up. “You two still gotta give us the whole rundown of where ya been! Where did that angry, spikey dragon-turtle-guy even come from?”

“And the tiny kid who looked like a big ole mushroom with legs!” Uncle Arthur added.

“What about that giant monkey in the tie?” Aunt Marie piped up, half-laughing in sheer disbelief as she came back into the room. “He could talk! And not just little words, no — if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was hittin’ on me.”

“Look, I get it, I get it,” Mario insisted as good-naturedly as he could manage. He started to inch towards the hallway with Luigi in tow, who he could feel becoming jittery from all the new noise. All he needed was a few good, firm excuses, a clear escape route, and they were home-free. “It was pretty crazy stuff, right? But seriously, we’re dead on our feet as it is—”

“Then sit down already and take a load off!” Uncle Tony insisted right back. “We’ll make coffee!”

“Nooooo, no coffee for me. Now!? I-I think I might shake right out of my skin if, “Luigi started to joke, only to squeak when Uncle Tony grabbed him by the shoulders and tried to steer him around anyway.

“C’moooon! A story like this can’t wait,” Uncle Arthur groaned. “This is the wildest thing that’s happened since Gramps’ teeth were eaten by that dog on the subway! Have some pity for your elders and their boring lives.”

“We’ll tell ya all about it tomorrow, I swear!” Mario said a little louder, desperately trying to sound casual even as the words scraped up his throat. It was too loud, too bright. A new wave of dizziness swam over him; everything was starting to seem more and more like a dream, his vision smearing at the edges. The only thing that still felt solid, real was his hold on Luigi. He stayed focused on it like a lifeline, even as they were jostled around. “And you’ll understand then why we need to sleep for a million years and then some, I swear, ‘cause we, we’ve really gone through the ringer here...”

“Don’t you think you’ll feel better if you just sit down for a minute?” Ma asked, smiling warmly. “Besides, I wanted to know a little more about that princess—”

“Ya gotta eat anyway!” Uncle Arthur downed what was left of his glass in one swig. “Don’t make us beg!”

“Forget the coffee. We’ll break out the Sangiovese and that’ll loosen you up real good,” Uncle Tony snickered.

Their uncle grabbed at Luigi again, pulling him along harder this time — hard enough that he panicked, his flailing hand struggling for a better grip on Mario’s before they were ripped apart. And that reminded Mario’s fuzzy, exhausted brain of something. A feeling he didn’t know how to describe in words but that cut into him like a knife between his ribs just the same, bone-deep and blindsiding and instantly overwhelming. He thought of—

(pink clouds and faint swirling light and green pipes and weird wind tunnels he could practically swim through and black shadows like soot in the air and lava glowing and Luigi shouting his name, Luigi panicking as he tried to calm him down, Luigi’s hand warm and snug against his because nothing could hurt them if they were together and nothing was going to separate them as long as Mario was strong enough, steady enough to make it that way but then there was a sound like thunder and the pressure grew and grew and grew and grew and GREW AND)

His body acted on its own. With both hands, he wrenched Luigi back towards him a few stumbling steps, out of Uncle Tony’s hands. “No!” He yelled, a hoarse, guttural sound.

Silence, save for car horns on the street outside.

Clarity came over Mario in a slow, creeping wave, quickly turning into a feeling of horror as he registered the way everyone had frozen in place around him, staring with wide, frightened eyes. Even their parents looked stricken. Luigi’s tired expression had flooded with worry too, but there was a glint of something warmer there as well — understanding. I felt it, his eyes said to Mario, as clear as day. I remembered too.

“I-I’m sorry, but we really, REALLY need to take a rain check, all right?” That was Luigi, breaking the silence, talking way more assertively than he usually ever did at home. Most of the time, the others drowned him out, but now, he had everyone’s undivided attention, insistently pointing with his one free hand that wasn’t still clinging to Mario’s. “We, me and Mario here, are a little loopy, all right? Not thinking straight in the least! It’s been a hard day — a hard couple of days! Three days, in fact! Maybe three days, or two! Heck, I don’t even know what day it is anymore! That’s how out of whack we are! Do ya get it already!?”

“Easy there, Lu,” Mario whispered. There was so much frantic gesturing going on that Luigi was starting to throw himself off-balance, swaying dangerously. He still felt ashamed, raw inside from the outburst, but Luigi jumping in had lessened it to the point that he could breathe again, at least. His amazing brother really was full of surprises today, it seemed. “But he’s right. I…it’s just been a lot."

Some glances were shared around the table. Surprisingly, it was Uncle Tony who spoke up first.

“Y’know what? You do look like you’d be shoo-ins for a zombie movie, no makeup needed.” He clapped them lightly on the shoulders one more time and then sat back down with a backwards wave of the hand. “Don’t worry about us. Go on, get out of here.”

“Get plenty of rest,” Aunt Marie said, her smile plainly apologetic.

“Man, that just gave me deja-vu like nobody’s business,” Uncle Arthur laughed. “Remember when they were tiny, Tony? We couldn’t peel them off each other for anything in the world.”

“Oh man, do I,” Tony snorted. “Not without them scratching and screeching like stray cats! Might as well have made you two — whaddya call it again? — conjoined twins and saved a couple steps.”

“There was that one time we were babysitting at the park down the street—”

Mario didn’t hear the rest of the conversation. “Come on,” a familiar, gruff voice said near his ear, followed by two large arms herding him and Luigi away, their mother following close behind. “Get yourselves into the kitchen already.”

“I’m sorry, Dad,” Mario couldn’t help but insist once they were there, heels squeaking on the faded linoleum. Several of his stern talking-to’s over the years had started out much like this in the past; speaking up right away and defending himself before the inevitable yelling happened was practically second nature. “I didn’t mean to yell, I swear, it was just—”

“Never mind that,” the older man cut him off. There was something soft in his tone, softer than Mario could remember hearing it before, and that was when he realized that he'd misread the situation entirely. His dad's eyes were dark with concern, not anger. "Now come on. Give me your gloves, and shoes too. Both of you."

Mario and Luigi glanced at each other and then down at themselves in confused unison, dimly registering that yes, they were still wearing all of that, having forgotten to take everything off at the door like they usually did. Some slow shuffling later, and it was gathered in a pile. Their dad plucked their hats off their heads as well (also missed), tucking everything in the sturdy crook of one arm. He used his free hand to ruffle their hair and pat their faces, one after the other.

"You did good out there," he said, "but what matters most is that you're all right. That's always gonna be what matters most to us. I just," he swallowed slowly, thickly, "I want to make sure you both know that."

For one very brittle moment, as his dad held his face in his big, warm palm, Mario genuinely didn't trust himself to not start either laughing or sobbing right then and there — maybe a crazy mixture of both. The feeling passed, thankfully, but he still managed a wobbly smile, a small nod.

“Now go and wash up. Ma will get the food ready.” Sure enough, their mother was already bustling around like a madwoman, plates clattering and half-empty pots simmering again on the stove. “Luigi, you first. Datti una mossa.”

“Yessir!” Luigi looked back at Mario before going, a tired, reassuring, still slightly worried look that said I’ll see you in a couple of minutes, okay? Mario reflected it back, and their dad walked Luigi out of the room, towards the hallway.

“Just promise me you’ll tell us what happened tomorrow, all right?” Mario's attention returned to his mother, who was finishing stirring some reheated sauce with a little too much shaky speed before coming over to him, smushing his cheeks in both hands. “I don’t care how old you two get. You're still my babies, and babies shouldn't keep secrets from their poor mother."

“I promise, I promise! You’re gonna pop my teeth out, Ma!” Mario half-laughed, gently tugging at her wrists so he could talk more clearly. “Definitely tomorrow, okay? Right now, I…I don’t know if I could tell ya if I tried. It’s just a crazy blur, and I really gotta process it all myself, still. We just need a little time."

“I understand.” She drew him into another hug. Mario couldn’t help but sink into the familiar warmth, clinging to her. He’d been so worried about Luigi that he’d never even considered the idea that he might never see his parents again either. The realization hit harder than he’d anticipated. “Besides, I know I have nothing to worry about when you two are together. You do such a good job of looking after your brother.”

(Or even worse, what if he’d been able to come home in the end — but alone? What if he’d had to sit his parents down and tell them that Luigi was…)

There it was again — that sudden, sour feeling of wanting to cry, such a heavy wave inside him that he had to clench his teeth to the point of pain to hold back a gasp.

Stupid, he thought bitterly, almost angrily. What did he even have to be crying about? Once again, he weathered the rush, kept the walls intact by a hair. He closed his eyes and just let himself be held.

“Of course, Ma,” he croaked. “Always.”

#mario movie #super mario bros movie #super mario bros #mario and luigi #cherrysip fic #i am SUCH a big Mario and Luigi's Family Apologist you don't even know lol #they just remind me of my own family so much #when you have a big family the sheer number of people makes it really easy to lose things in the shuffle #especially when you're ALSO a family that ruthlessly teases each other about things like mine does #it is sometimes very hard to tell when something has gone too far or someone just isn't in the mood until the breaking point #but once that does hit i'd like to think that everyone takes it seriously in their family and backs off and reinforces the love first #next part will be longer and will just be mario and luigi!#thank YOU for reading <3 <3 <3

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rotisseries · 9 months

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i have GOT to stop going and checking out the notes on... that one post.... but it's CRAZY to me that people keep reblogging it very seriously being like "HOW CAN PEOPLE LIKE HENRY HE MURDERED 20 CHILDREN"

you mean the fictional child murder?? you mean the fake fictional child murder?? you mean the fake fictional telekinetic sci fi child murder by fake fictional telekinetic sci fi murder man on fake fictional telekinetic sci fi horror netflix show stranger things??? YOU MEAN THAT FAKE MURDER???

no you're so right there's never once been a history of fandoms liking a guy even if he did a bit of fake fictional murder what an insane concept

#one of the members of the fan club found it and was very seriously defending themselves in the notes too #like “I NEVER SAID IT WAS COOL THAT HE MURDERED THOSE KIDS I LIKE HIM BC I THINK HE DIDN'T DO IT”#which like I get why you're rolling up in defense since the post is calling you fucking crazy but the defense itself is also funny as hell #bc it's just not that serious lmao. stan him AND the murder if you want idfc #in fact I think the fan club is a bit annoying and I'd probably like them better if they DID think he murdered all those kids #say it with your whole chest. child murderer jones murdered all those children and he's my pookie #but like. I'm sure plenty of people are reblogging it lightheartedly like ''yeah haha funny #he murdered a bunch of kids and people edit him with cat ears or whatever isn't that crazy!'' but like. some people seem like #they're taking it seriously lol #and it's just like. not that serious lmao I'm sorry this is our most hysterical discourse yet #I don't even really LIKE the fanclub but wtf lol #anyway. y'all ever heard of like. a horror slasher fandom?#should I main tag this?#nah. I want to a little bit but I should not #ok nvm I will #I will regret it maybe but I'll do it #stranger things #byler #henry creel

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essektheylyss · 1 year

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It is wild to me how many people are like, "hahaha op's speech did nothing," as if I am running and participating in these polls to get validation for my blorbo. If I just wanted to be content with my blorbo, I would absolutely not be tossing him up on a platform to be heckled for a week straight. I would be retreating to some echo chamber Discord server to experience the emotional equivalent of everyone gathering around and petting a puppy.

I literally do not think Essek is going to win this poll! I do not think he is going to win the tournament! I seeded Laerryn number one for a reason! For a number of factors I think it would be very difficult for anyone to beat her! I literally put him and Laerryn on the same side of the bracket so that they would not end up in the final, because I did not think it was going to be an interesting fight! We as a fandom beat "Laerryn could smash any wizard in Exandria without contest" into the ground weeks ago! I considered writing a stump speech just for kicks for every semifinalist, because I like to argue things and I love playing up a ridiculous and meaningless kayfabe!

But like, Laerryn has swept many polls, and it's deeply boring to me if she wins in a landslide. I am a polling nerd, and I can confirm that no one watches landslide races. They are not interesting. And this is fully just for the fun of it, so I am gonna make it interesting.

If there's no challenge, no consideration of how the other side might win, then what the fuck is the point of running a tournament?

In conclusion:

#this is incidentally also why I am campaigning on behalf of veth's big naturals.#it's also why I pushed for oremid hass to take ludinus out in the first round!#I am here for my own amusement and no other reason #like tbh too much opinion in fandom these days that everything is about 'winning'#your ship becoming canon ahead of all the other ships. your fave coming out on top. NO.#fandom is about having fun and making up fictional shit with no stakes for your own amusement.#like this has happened in other places where people get SO vicious when something turns out other than someone was lobbying for #in this weird schadenfreude kind of way #and it's like...... this says more about how seriously those people are taking it than anything else lol #also it's a weird comment to make anyway cuz essek has gained 3 or 4 percent since I posted that lmfao #which was genuinely more than I expected lol #anyway wild anyone thinks I'd be pressed about writing one speech when I write so much goddamn fic regardless of whether people read it #(people often do! which is great and lovely! but there are plenty of things that no one read lol and I still love them)#cannot stress enough that I am HERE FOR FUN.

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dutybcrne · 2 months

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Huffman was definitely the first person Kae'd ever slept with, and had to spend a great deal of time talking Huffman out of proposing bc the man wanted to 'take responsibility', send tweet-

#//Not on the other blog bc it a general hc #//ANYWAY #hc; kaeya #//It's bc of Kae's voiceline #//HIs Mika one; where he mentions both Mika AND Huffman take things WAY too seriously #//But also the fact that Huffman is basically canon Kae simp lol #//Bc if there's anybody Kae could rope into shit; it's Huffman #//And at the time; he'd used his pretty face to do ONE reckless thing of his own; with ONE person he'd have no qualms doing so #//Prolly bc Huffman was the only friend Kae had at the time that he COULD fuck without a mortifying slew of problems #//Still prolly panicked just as bad as Huffman over the whole ordeal; bc he had yet to enter his flouncing peacock era at the time #//Cried abt it to Addie & everything; she helped make sure he wouldn't deal with any lasting consequences. & gave him a Scolding; but STILL #//He later on looked back on his first time like 'Wow I was so fucken stupid; you'd think I'd gotten knocked up or smth-'#//Deffo likes sleeping with Huffman every chance he gets in present day #//For the stress relief; even if it's a stress in and of itself to keep convincing him that he does NOT need to 'take responsibility'#//Huffman was prolly also the only person whose marriage offer Kae has ever actually seriously considered; to this date #//Bc they were already friends; but also bc Kae Knew that Huffman would only ever have good intentions to him #//For a FACT #//Known the guy since his trainee days; ofc he'd trust him over any nobles or most other people that'd try to vie for Kae's hand #//But it's also precisely BC Huffman is such a good friend that Kae also would rather Not marry him #//He knows the man too well; he'd make for a good fuck; yeah; but partner??? With how he's raised Mika??? His habits????#//Nahhh #//And that's without mentioning Kae's OWN issues with marriage as it stands-#//Adding shit bc yes: Huffman is deffo the person Kae goes to when he starts getting antsy abt his looks #//Bc he knows Huffman would NEVER stop praising and complimenting him throughout #//Would deffo let the man fuck him through a dysphoric episode too; for the same reason #//Dude's too stupidly sincere; Kae finds it endearing and so very reassuring

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amarrymeinbostonwriter · 1 year

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Wow. Sometimes I'm very lucky and my bipolar doesn't always affect me much. But no such luck lately. I'm worried that I might have to retake my modern lit course because I was so late with many of my assignments. I've been mentally messed up more or less with a mixed mood episode since last September. I'm currently on the line of passing and not passing the class (granted there are a few ungraded assignments, including my final so it's still possible that I'm overreacting). I'm usually a good student too so it's a point of pride for me. I went from the honor roll to this all due to me fighting with an illness... :/ (It is my fault for not managing things better so I'm not looking for pity here- just talking).

I cannot imagine how horrible this disorder is for people who didn't have the option of medication (I am medicated, believe it or not). I think about that about that a lot since I study history and look into many writer's and artist's biographies in my spare time. I feel very bad for them since they basically had to live with this disorder without the fixes I have simply because I was born late enough for treatments to exist.

Virginia Woolf and Sylvia Plath both haunt me. Other people too. Yes, Lord Byron was extremely shocking but consider- we don't actually know what he would have been like if he could have been treated. He wouldn't have died at 36, I'm almost certain of that. I am highly aware of what this disorder has done to people before me. It doesn't make it better. But I keep looking back any way, to see that many of them did incredible things, in spite of it all.

I just keep thinking that if they could do so much without any treatment- that I should be able to function with treatment??? I know: don't compare yourself to other people but I'm desperate to know that I can be successful even with this illness. That it's not going to force me to leave school (the one thing I have been historically good at) and waste my life toiling away for nothing.

So if it seems as if I have been hitting my head against something lately, you aren't wrong. The fall is not generally my friend, pretty as the leaves are. I have not been having a good time of it but we must go on any way because what other option is there? None, I tell you.

#leaves pretty brain shitty has been my fall for the last few years since 2018 at least...#consistently fall has been bad for my cycle though I like that time of year normally #granted a lot of things kept happening every fall since 2018 too #bipolar disorder #actually bipolar #I probably am a closet perfectionist in some cases #I am exhausted thanks for asking!#and yes for a few semesters I was an honor roll student in my grad school- not any more though LOL #seriously I'm going into debt for this degree and uh that promise to waive our debt never came to light so I'm very fucked rn #I have to finish this degree so I can work off my debt and build a good reputation for myself #I'm honestly afraid my illness might take away my ability to have a career at all; I'm desperate for a living wage!#it's not good #but this could be anxiety talking tbh #for real I'm amazed that like Virginia Woolf and others were able to do as much as they did in their lives #because without my medication I'd probably be useless??? Mania is not fun 10/10 would NOT suggest #I actually pity Lord Byron after reading his biography; he just seems like if mania was a person and um it explains his behavior completely #do you ever look back at other peoples' lives and see pieces of yourself in them and then feel really bad for them? cuz I do all the time #mychatter #I'm stubborn in that I refuse to quit school since I am aware that my family needs to know I can do this #please don't take this personally this is my problem and a pointless rant probably

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muzzleroars · 2 years

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do you ever think that akechi still hasn't witnessed jokers like full power? cause like espeically during his boss fight joker is holding back because he doesn't want to hurt him! so he's figting enough to like protect himself and his friends but not to kill

so i just think akechi having to fight a joker who's mind has been completely hijacked by something (probably yaldy back from the dead) and is a complete cold blooded literal killing machine... would be intreseting :)

also just the dramatic irony of akechi being envious of joker for being free and being able to discard masks so easily when oops haha that same ability is what yaldy exploits to hijacked his mind

with the hours i spend in the velvet room crafting disgusting personas, goro akechi has NO idea how strong akira really is lmaooo

BUT fr i think akira does have an incredible strength simply because he can hone his personas due to the bonds he has and access to the velvet room. goro's strength comes from experience and just how much loki (and likely robin hood) have been used. akira, on the other hand, is flexible to a terrifying degree and the amount of personas he has in him, personas that can be traded out at will and fused into increasingly stronger versions of themselves, makes him wildly formidable as well. both goro and akira have an been forged in fire that way: goro from years of traveling the metaverse alone and killing while there, akira from the brutality of constantly destroying and remaking parts of himself.

i definitely agree too that akira is defensive in the battles against goro - again it SORTA comes from my own playthrough so grain of salt etc etc but i remember i was building my angel roster at the time and i JUST SO HAPPENED to have a trumpeter immune to light, dark, and phys damage so like. akira was a LITTLE untouchable. so i kept it equipped throughout the fight and that's my version of how he plays it. i think it gives goro an idea of what akira's capable of - he curses him out for being a coward, but this was an akira caught unaware, and this is the power he has on him without preparation.

and so no disrespect to goro because he is incredibly strong himself, but i 100% believe he'd have a pretty difficult time managing akira at his full power. like. if akira had absolutely no attachment to him or any moral issue with it, the fact that he can juggle between a DOZEN highly trained and specialized personas, ones that can drain and reflect at will as well as be taught their most powerful elemental moves and have them boosted, would be a grueling fight. not to mention goro then being the one on the defensive and emotionally on edge....OOF idk mr akechi!!! good luck!!!

#i'm sorry i made this MOSTLY about akira's strength #but i'm tired of ppl pretending he's not a ridiculous powerhouse #if you spend time in the velvet room with your builds #akira is legitimately invincible #+ stack heat riser and debilitate on there #he finishes every fight in literal seconds #is that fully canon NO but it could be!!#and tbh if my and my friend's lives were on the line i'd make sure i was op #cake answers #p5 #DON'T TAKE ME TOO SERIOUSLY THO #i just spend so long doing this i gotta complain sometimes lol

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