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astrologyinterests · 8 months

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✨ s p i c y ✨

astro observations. 18+

hey y’all. ✨ it’s been so long since my last post! i kind of fell into a depression & lost my passion for astro & pretty much everything else in my life. i’m still not 100% yet, but i felt inspired enough to make this ✨ s p i c y ✨ post. so enjoy! ps. these are just my observations!

🌶️ i’ve noticed that those with a natal venus square mars are freaks. i have this aspect & lemme tell you.. 👀 my venus causes me to act shy & modest; giving off a certain innocence, but when i truly desire someone, i won’t be shy about it! but with the square, it makes me come across as very bold & forward, almost brash. which is sometimes to my detriment. (i’ve kinda scared guys off 😅) they just couldn’t handle the heat. 😌🔥

🌶️ having venus square mars in synastry causes intense, sexual attraction. but while the attraction is off the charts, it can cause the timing & desire to be off, i’ve noticed. if you’re mars, you can come across as aggressive or too forward for venus‘ liking. or one of you could want it, and the other isn’t really feeling it at that time. or the times when you both do want it, something hinders y’all from getting down n‘ dirty!

🌶️ does anyone have the experience of someone with their jupiter on your moon wanting to get you pregnant? lmao i like a guy who has his jupiter conjunct my moon, and he has said he wanted to get me pregnant. but i think it’s because he wants to see me “big & full of his kids” 😭 with the moon having to do with the mother & jupiter being expansion. also, jupiter could just absolutely love the moons fullness & curves.

🌶️ people have talked about this aspect many times, but since i’ve experienced it, i have to talk about it too! mars conjunct ascendant. woowee! baby listen! the palpable tension & attraction is like nothing you’ve ever experienced. you can literally feel the heat radiating off each other. it’s to the point where y’all could rip off each others clothes right there & not care who’s watching. he was mars, and i was the ascendant and he couldn’t keep his hands & eyes off me.

🌶️ having mars trine/sextile jupiter in synastry could possibly lead to y’all hunching a lot. there is a lot of passion and energy here. can’t stop, won’t stop!

🌶️ someone with a natal mars-jupiter aspect could have a lot of stamina! so be prepared to go aaall night. 😏

🌶️ having your lilith on someones midheaven could possibly cause scandal. with the midheaven/10th house having to do with the public & ones reputation, you could be the “bad influence” on the 10th houser; you could bring them to do things or act in ways they know they shouldn’t. i know someone who had her lilith on a married man’s midheaven & let’s just say… they had an affair, people found out and things didn’t end well. obviously. having this synastry aspect makes the 10th houser view lilith as irresistible & forbidden.

🌶️ do cancer risings enjoy nipple stimulation? because i can’t get off without it. lol it’s my favorite type of foreplay!

🌶️ also, i know someone who has a cancer moon, which tightly conjuncts my cancer rising and he is obsessed with my breasts. he loves sucking my nipples & i love getting them sucked. 🫣 its just something about cancers & breasts. it’s crazy. lol

🌶️ having natal venus square/opposite saturn could indicate someone who is sexually repressed; they could feel shame for their sexual desires or have trouble expressing these desires. (just know that there is nothing wrong with being a sexual being!)

+ having this aspect could also point to someone who likes ‘em older & “more experienced”. they could have a kink for the whole “younger, naive, inexperienced person gets taught & “opened up” (both literally & metaphorically 😭) by the older, more experienced person.

🌶️ mars square saturn could indicate someone who is super into power imbalances. they have a kink for this kind of dynamic. boss + employee. police officer + inmate. teacher + student. you name it.

🌶️ show me your search history aquarius mars. 🤨🔎 you can’t convince me these ain’t some freaky mfs. but it’s really that aquarian “weird, eccentric & unique” influence over their mars. aquarian energy i feel is always curious & wanting to challenge the “norm”. this could also apply to mars-uranus.

🌶️ i heard virgo mars will do anything to please their partners. 👀 that virgo energy causes one to pay attention to details. they love to be thorough & efficient.

🌶️ i’ve said this before in another post, but i swear capricorn mars gives big dick energy! 🔥 they could be not that tall and/or not that built, but they just have this air of confidence (even if they arent all that confident) that screams “let daddy take care of you.” and i just know they will. definitely in the bedroom. 😩

🌶️ mars in gemini are turned on by interesting & stimulating conversations. they love humor as well as playful & witty banter. if you can keep up with them mentally, hold a conversation and keep them interested in talking, they��re yours!

+ they looove dirty talk. they come up with the nastiest, freakiest shit to say that will have you like.. 🥴

🌶️ do you guys have any experience with mars-mercury aspects in synastry? i feel like this could cause two people to always say inappropriate & sexual things to each other. maybe a lot of sexual & flirty energy.

🌶️ mars square lilith in synastry brings about so much sexual tension & could indicate such an intense & magnetic attraction between two people. this aspect could lead to some of the most passionate & wild sex you ever had! but it could also point to a lot of fighting when y’all aren’t bumpin‘ n‘ grindin’.

🌶️ taurus mars may be the type to take their time with pleasing you. 😏 that’s because taurus is thought to be a slow moving sign; they don’t like to rush or be rushed!

🌶️ you may have casual flings with people who have planets that fall into your 5th house.

🌶️ if you have cancer placements, you have a breeding kink. i don’t make the rules. 🤷🏾‍♀️🫣 you like the idea of someone “filling you up”, huh? nasty devils. 😏

🌶️ aries venus may be the type that rush through (or skip over completely) foreplay. they could learn a thing or two, from taurus placements about taking their time. 😒

+ they can kind of be animalistic when it comes to sex. they could like it rough & aggressive.

🌶️ i feel like virgo placements in women love to play the “pure, innocent virginal” role. i feel virgo placements are super submissive. (i’m talking about myself 😭)

that’s all for now! ✨

#my post #astro observations #spicy 🌶️

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starlightdreaming · 3 months

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Lucifer Morningstar x Reader! Ch. 3!

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel!

Content Warning: more… angst. with some comfort..(?) idk starve lol. blood and vulgar words. SUPER LONG CHAPTER TOO WOO! (nonproof read too)

Synopsis: after going through severe depression, you mentally and physically shut down.

Further note: THANK YOU FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPPORTING MY SERIES (Lululuna) IT MAKES ME SO FUCKIGN HAPPY AAHAHAHHDVENE (this is also my favorite chapter I’ve been waiting to write HEHEHHE) ENJOY READING AS IVE ENJOYED WRITING IT - ✨Lolo💫

Chapters!: Chapter 1 ✧ Chapter 2 ✧ Chapter 3 (you are here) •<•)b ✧ Chapter 4 ✧ Chapter 5

THIS CHAPTERS SONG IS uhhHhahwueh

(optional but recommended!)

｡･:*:･ﾟLululuna･ﾟ:｡*:･｡

After sending Lucifer away, you were silent during the whole aftermath ordeal.

You stared at the ground for a long while, sitting in the middle of the court room, ignoring and blocking everyone that was talking or looking at you. In a room so loud, in your mind, it was deathly silent.

Sera went to you, tapping your shoulder softly, “come along now, Y/n,” She says, softly, “Let’s get you home, alright?” She offers, standing up, waiting for you to collect yourself and get up as well.

the carpet was drenched with a puddle of tears, you felt like a part of you was gone forever… and you weren’t ever going to get it back. You dry your tears, using your sleeves to wipe them off your face before getting up and taking Sera’s hand into your own, she held your hand softly, teleporting you to the front of your home.

“Take all the time you need.” Sera says, understanding how much pain you were going through, you have told her everything after all in your years of working with her after you and Lucifer fell apart. She teleported away as you stood at your front door for a moment, staring at the door before unlocking it and pushing it open with no effort at all, your home was dark from how late it was,

The sun was gone, put away to rest, and the moon was present, subtle and set.

You walked into your home, stars barely dimming any light in the dark home, you closed your door behind you, leaning on it with a sigh, your exhausted eyes felt puffy from all the tears you had shed after seeing Lucifer for the last time, the way he looked at you as he fell, bore into your mind, it’s been haunting you since.

‘maybe it was a mistake?’ you thought as you conversed in your head for the nth time that day, your mind was haunting you endlessly with years of torment after Lucifer left you behind, your heart and mind were always arguing with one another, your heart always begged to talk things out even if the pain was unbearable but your mind was more of in control with your body, trying to keep your heart safe, trying to keep you safe from any more suffering. you just didn’t know what to do.

Tears fell from your eyes again that night, wishing to be held and comforted by someone who would understand the same pains as you, and that someone was no one.

Down at your door you sat, hugging your knees as you cried out your pain, the exact same spot when you cried yourself to sleep on your last birthday, the last birthday you shared with Lucifer. It wasn’t a good memory to remember but… it was a memory that was telling you, ‘here we are, once again.’ and that was enough to make you cry harder as you hugged yourself with the silence screams that no one could ever see or hear…once.. again.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

Day in, day out.

As time passed, you were slowly recovering from the losses of your childhood friend.

Day in, day out.

As time passed, you focused on your work behind the scenes, Emily bringing joy to those around Halo city, welcoming winners and Heaven born angels all around. With more Earth born angels arriving in Heaven, the population of the people grew, meaning more expansions of the city and more expansions of the city, meant you had to work much, much longer.

Day in, day out.

You were falling behind on your creations, being the only ‘angel’ that could make stars, Sera would often have to come and talk to you and your issues of the star makings. You and Sera both tried to get other angels to make the same stars as you, sentient and beautiful, but it was only ever botched and dull when anyone else tried to make them, leaving you at a loss. You often had to stay up in late night hours, until the sun came back up, barely ever giving you the chance to go back home and rest. After one problem, another came along, you began to feel confined behind those four walls.

Day in, day out.

Your life was just stuck in the same room, rarely ever getting out, star after star, it began to be repetitive and passionless, everything was the same.

Day in, day out.

Sera would often visit you, telling you to keep making an nth amount of stars today or tomorrow, sooner or later, she would just leave notes and piles of paperwork her employers would send to you, leaving you in the dust, life became frail and dulling, you were just a machine at that point, neglected and forgotten as you kept making sentient stars constantly.

Day in, day out.

Nothing’s new. Days, weeks, months, years, nothing was changing as you drowned more in more into a bleak and miserable office, you felt more and more empty, you would wake up and sleep, you lost track of time at this point, your office was just a mess of star dust and stars, the windows were black from the dust staining the windows making them unobtrusive, you sat on the floor in the center, feeling stuck and hopeless. Surrounded by the only thing that brought you comfort, now becoming the only thing you were ever useful for.

Day in, day out.

How long has passed? You didn’t care anymore. All you wanted was to escape and be free from this basked room of misery and self loathing, your stars became gloopy and sticky, they were melting in this room like you were.

Day in, day out.

You couldn’t bare another minute in the same room, your arms were stained black from stars that melted on you from time to time, the stars were barely ever successfully made anymore, you just couldn’t continue anymore.

Day in, day out.

Long and forgotten you were, nothing new and changing, just you in a black room, full of dust and gloopy stars. You laid there meaninglessly, your eyes lifeless and you completely numb, tired and exhausted.

Day in, day out.

Nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new.

Day in, day out.

After days of laying there, eating your own stars as survival, refusing to allow anyone into your room, Sera finally showed up for once after eons or centuries? you don’t even know anymore. She wasn’t as loving or caring as she used to be, it was to be expected since you lost sight of you as a sister and more of a machine. When she ordered you to get up and do something, you refused to respond as you continued to lay there, seeing as doing anything anymore was futile.

She commanded you again and she received no result, When she picked you up from the ground, she saw how lifeless you really were, she teleported you to a hospital, getting you attention from the doctors as quick as possible, they checked you, you were alive, obviously, but mentally, you died out long ago.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

The nurses cleaned and fed you, you were barely responsive but it was progress to them if you ever reacted.

You laid in that hospital bed, day in, day out.

One day, Emily came to visit you, you didn’t bother until she used her powers on you. As the joy bringer of the people, she managed to give you a glimpse of happiness again and that was enough to bring color back into your eyes and look at her.

A nurse watching, left to contact a doctor. Emily smiled at you as she channeled her energy to you, hugging you and asking you questions to see if you would respond, it took awhile but you managed to wry a smile and tell her, “hi..” a croak in your voice from how raspy your throat felt, she tilted her head with a comforting smile, “hi,” she said, “how are you feeling?” she asks genuinely, her hand over your yours as she channeled more of her angelic energy, soothing you physically and mentally, “I’m alright.” you responded with a croaky voice, “yeah?” she asks, “yeah.” you respond.

A doctor showed up to give you a thorough check up, the nurse following and thanking Emily as she lightly laughed off the nurses praises. Your eyes were still dull but they had color now, the bags under your eyes were visible from the years lack of resting, black circles covered your eyes but seeing you be able to smile was just enough for the doctor to say you were responsive now. The doctor and nurse left the room to get you your meal or checking on other patients, leaving you and Emily once again.

Emily would talk to you, making small conversations, tell you about her day and sharing her energy with you again to make you more at ease, she even told you how Sera refused to let her see you cause you were always too busy for visitors, that was true but it was also the reason you were here in the first place. When visiting time was over she promised to come back to visit you tomorrow, you smiled at that, waving bye as she left.

Now it was you, yourself, and the white room and for once, you decided to stand up and look outside the window, the stars shined and dimmed brightly that night, the stars were the only thing making your eyes shine that night, their light reflecting off your eyes irises.

with the day done and in, you rested peacefully in that hospital bed, letting the day out.

Emily visited everyday to see you, still seeing you as a sister and telling you her life stories, she even managed to make you laugh at one point, it was a big laugh but it was genuine and thats what matters to her. At one point, you managed to ramble off about stars and the ideas you had for them, you got to show her how you made them, you tried to show her as well when she requested to guide her to make one, obviously it didn’t work but she smiled whenever she got to be given the chance to, she gave you the botched star that was lavender blue, it was small with imperfections but for the first time in the longest time, someone had given you something and you never were letting it go.

You used a little bit of your stardust to make it stick in your hair, making sure it stays there, no matter what. Emily smiled when she saw it in your hair, seeing how much it matters to you. You and Emily both spent the entire day talking and creating, sharing and conversing, it was so comforting and warm, her light was guiding you out of that dark abyss you had made for yourself and eventually- you were out the hospital.

You went back to that same office room but this time, you cleaned it, you made more stars, the neglected ones being perfected and revived, sentient and chiming. With your office cleaned you decided to get a meeting with Sera personally. It took a few days but it was accepted and eventually you were in her office, she looked at you authoritatively, not seeing you as she had once, who knows long ago.

“What is it, Y/n?” She says, sitting at her desk as you walked up to her desk and took a seat in the chair at the opposite end. “I quit.” You spoke, unhesitant, “What?” She says, rather surprised, “I quit,” you smiled, crossing your arms, “at making stars for you and the people.” you finished, watching her reaction change, “and what makes you think you can?” She says with a slightly aggressive tone, glaring at you slightly, “I am my own person, I want a new job,” You say, sitting back in your chair, “then- will I make more stars for you.” You say, your her fingers intertwined and resting on your lap, legs crossed.

She stood up, her figure towering over you from over the table, “You refused to continue your work, end up in a hospital for who knows what and now you’re asking for a new job?” She asked, feeling rather insulted like you can laze around and do whatever you want, “Yes, that’s exactly what.” You smiled, unbothered, Emily made you feel this way, like a new person, she was therapy itself in a way.

“And you think you can handle a different job? even when you couldn’t even handle your own?” She glares, you leaned forward into your chair, “got bored with the stars thing, without a doubt I can do something else.” You say looking at her smugly, making her harden her glare at you. maybe Emily gave you too much of her energy.

“Fine then.” She says, turning around, looking away from you and out the window, she snapped her fingers and a man appeared next to you, “Woah- wait, what the fuck?” He says, looking around the room, looking at Sera, then at you, “You will be working with Adam from now on,” She says, turning back to you, you and Adam staring at each other awkwardly, before he began to wiggle his eyebrows at you with a flirty smirk, “Adam, you are to train and teach Y/n, show and tell her what she will be doing.” Sera orders, you had your knees up in the chair leaning away from Adam, due to him gawking at you before he looked away to Sera, “Wait now? Don’t you think it’s too soon for any recruits?” He questions, pointing a thumb at you.

“She wanted a new job since she failed to do her own,” Sera explains to Adam as you rolled your eyes from her statement, “since she says she can handle a new one, I’m giving her this one.” Sera finishes, sitting down back in her chair, “But we were just about to start? she wont even have time to prepare?” Adam responds, scratching his horn confused from this sudden meeting, “Then I suggest you get started,” Sera commands, going back to skimming through papers, “Dismissed.” She says, as you and Adam turn to each other confused.

You both left together, him leading and you following silently and awkwardly, your confidence long and left you after Adam appeared. “So what’s your name again? Already forgot.” He says looking at you, bending down slightly for you to meet face to face, you backed away from his action, “err, Y/n.” you respond, looking away for a moment before looking back at him, “Well nice to meet you, names Adam, first man, best man.” He smiles, reaching his hand out for you to take, you hesitated before shaking his hand, wrying a smile, “pleasure.” You speak, only giving him that response.

You both exited the building before flying, going to who knows where, “soo, before we get started, should probably ask what you do before you jump in the big ordeal, what do you do and how can you benefit us?” He asks, you flying alongside him, “I can do stellar manipulation, cosmic manipulation and stellar healing but im terrible at it,” You rambled, pointing a finger up after listing off your abilities, “What I can do best is making sentient stars do my bidding, like the stars that are all over Halo city? I made those.” You smiled, “Woah! wait, you made all those things come alive? that’s fucking sick!” He says complimenting you, “So you must be a big deal huh?” He smirks, “Ehh, I guess?” You shrug slightly with a smile.

“Ohoh, if you can control those stars, then you’re perfect for this job.” He smirks as he lands, you landed behind him as you looked around at everyone, them all wearing the same suits, you were confused now, just what even is this job?

“Sir? where did you go?” a female voice asked, “Sera teleported me outta nowhere for me to bring someone along with us,” he explains pointing to you, you walk up to her, “greetings, I’m Y/n.” you smile and waved, “Lute, Adam’s Lieutenant.” She says as she straightens her posture, giving you a short and slim response. “Attention ladies! we have a sudden and new guest! this is uhh,” he pauses before leaning toward you, “fucks your name again?” he asks as you deadpanned, how does someone forget a name so fast? “Y/n.” You respond, “Y/n!” He says, “Seraphim of the stars or something.” He says, trying to make you sound like big talk, “She will be joining us today, she isn’t prepared but thats okay, she will just be an audience for today at most, so everyone prepare yourselves,” Adam says as they pull out spears, making your confusion more piqued, “and let’s this fucking show on a roll!” he shouts, a portal opening, him flying off with his lieutenant.

You were caught off guard from them suddenly flying off, you followed, a little behind but you caught up quickly to Adam, (being a seraphim and all) staying behind him and Lute, when you went through the portal, you paused in the air, confused on where in the world were you? everything was red, the sky, the ground, it wasn’t long before you started hearing screaming in the distance, the angel army was flying and attacking, monster like creatures, “What the fuck is this?” You say in shock, “Oh shit, you curse too? fucking sweet!” Adam says, showing up next to you, watching the angels slaughter the creatures, “where am I?!” You ask with a shaky voice, concern and worry filling your voice, “You’re in hell, bitch!” He says, summoning an angelic guitar made of pure gold, strumming it.

“WHAT?” You say absolutely baffled from his answer, you quickly turned to look down at the destroyed city, those little things running around and screaming, pleading for their lives as they get brutally slaughtered, “why are we killing them?! they did nothing!” You say in a terrified voice, looking back at Adam, “calm down bitch, fuck,“ He says, making you glare at him instantly, “they’re sinners! We give them divine judgment!” He smirks, flying down and killing a sinner without hesitation, “Stop it!” You tell at him, your angelic form appearing from how terrified you were to discover that your divine people were slaughtering innocent souls that have done nothing but accept their damnation, “No, you stop it!” He says, flying back up to you, making you fly back when he got too close, “Sera ordered you to follow my lead, you are under my command!” He yells back, an explosion happening behind him, a city building tumbling, you stared in guilt, you didn’t even do anything to them and yet all you could feel was pure sympathy and sorrow for those souls who didn’t deserve the judgment they were receiving.

“Now, you’re going down there and helping us kill these fuckers or you can sit and watch.” Adam orders, you didn’t have any words to respond with as you looked down at the sinners, there was a young lady who was carrying a child away from the chaos, you couldn’t help but watch, you were too stunned to process anything, Adam flew off mumbling something under his breath, definitely cursing at you but you didn’t even care at that moment.

An angel chasing quickly behind the two sinners, the angels spear charging towards the two, before you can even give a second thought, you summoned a star quickly, tossing it at the angel, hitting them down before they could hurt the two, you gasped, surprised from your own actions, you hurt an angel, the angels you’re supposed to care for and protect! you watched the angel shrug it off like nothing before flying away to a different direction, giving the sinners the chance to run, why was Heaving allowing slaughter? doesn’t this go against the very foundations of Heaven? why didn’t you know about this was ever happening? and how long has it been happening? Sera assigned you here, so it’s obvious she knows! why would she allow this- wait.. does the father of Heaven know?

You quickly flew down to the city to find Adam, to find answers, but all you saw was bloodshed and destruction, spears left behind and angels flying around like they were proud of themselves, it gave you a gut wrenching feeling, “please spare me! don’t kill me!” A voice called out, you turned to see a sinner running for their life, your eyes widen when you see an angel walking up to the sinner, a manic laugh following behind them, you ran toward the sinner and the angel, you stood between them both, stopping the angel in her tracks, “I command you to stop!” you say aggressively.

The angel taken back by your sudden actions and outburst, “What are you doing? move it.” the angel said, trying to shove you away but you pushed back and it made the angel push you completely to the ground, moved to the side, you didn’t have any attributes to physical fighting and it showed, you fell to the ground, looking up quickly to see the angel about to attack, without a second thought, you summons another star, a rather big one and made it push her aggressively, you made the star make the angel collide with a building, knocking the angel out, you gasped, not meaning to go that far but you turned to the sinner and ran to their aid, “are you okay??” you ask the terrified man before you, he looked at you in awe, you angelic features making the man stunned and mesmerized, “yes… thank yo- gh-“ the man choked, a spear through his throat, his blood splattered onto your clothes, hands and face, you closed your eyes for a moment from the sudden liquid of blood covering your face.

You opened your eyes and your eyes widened when you saw Adam and Lute in front of you, the sinner headless and long gone of life, “Fuck do you think you’re doing?” Adam said, yelling at you, you looked down and stared at the red, staining your hands, your breath hitched, you were trying to save a soul and it died immediately in front of you, before your very eyes, from feeling sympathy and sorrow, you clutched your hands tightly, a fit of rage riling up inside you, “ADAM! THIS STOPS NOW!” You shout, your angelic appearance in full as you flew into the air, cosmic dust following your form, your wings emitted cosmic dust, along with your hands, star dust following suit.

You glared at Adam, Lute glaring back at you, sensing you were about to become a threat, she immediately charged at you before swinging at you, you immediately summoned a star as a shield, side eyeing her, you made the star push her down, away from you, another star attacking her swiftly and powerfully, knocking her out too, Adam watched it happen so quickly, “What the fuck was that? what did you do to Lute?!” He says, going after you next, he was much slower but he managed to fight off your stars as he kept swinging at you, you being the faster flying, dodged easily, they may have been more experienced than you but they were so damn sloppy with their attacks. not to mention as a seraphim, you are much more stronger.

You flew higher into the air, a radiant aura forming around you, “This massacre ends now, Adam.” you say in a monotone voice, focusing on your power as you began to summon multiple stars, making all sentient at once, you were using a lot of stamina for this but you were willing to do this if it meant stopping this meaningless wrath of judgment.

You had made stars fall, multiple stars stuck onto Adam as he tried to fight them off but you made the goopy ones specifically for him, eventually he was invulnerable to move, the stars sticky and drippy, making it hard for him to struggle, you glared at Adam silently as he began to curse you out, you made a big star float flatly, carrying Lute back into the portal along with Adam as the stars took his guitar and carried it with him separately, your other stars retrieved the other angels in this army, dragging them all back forcefully to the portal, you made the other spare stars fly up to the skies and make it rain stardust in the skies, the dust was full of healing properties, making sure the sinners that survived could heal physical injuries, you hoped it was enough for them since you weren’t very experienced with the healing attributes you had, feeling your stamina drained, you flew back to the portal, closing it as you flew to the grounds of Heavens cloud, panting heavily, you had never used that much of your abilities like that before, all at once in fact.

You looked up to see Adam pissed off at, struggling to break free from goopy stars you still had on him, you laughed lightly at this, that shits kinda funny.

You splat onto the cloud, face first, regaining your stamina for a bit, meanwhile the whole army Adam had was conversing in confusing, they tried to help Adam get out of the goop but that only made the. stuck with him, you turned to lay on your back, wings following and looked up to the sky, for once, you felt rather proud of yourself for being able to full something like that but now it was the worse part to come, after recollecting your energy, you got up and flew off, dragging Adam with you, the stars of goop following as he muffled our screams.

When you returned to Sera’s office, you busted down the door with any respect, “Sera!” you shouted angrily, “We need to take about this job offer.” you grumbled, slamming your hands down her desk, the goop of stars putting Adam down as he deadpanned at you and Sera. Sera’s eyes widened from your sudden outburst and the blood covering your body, “I assume you couldn’t handle it?” Sera asked, after recollecting herself, “Handle it? I more than handled it, I dragged a whole fucking army back into Heaven!” You screamed, Sera glared as she stood up, “That was not your job, your job was to follow Adams orders!” she spoke back sternly, “This job and his orders are hypocritical to what we believe in! this is conflicting to the foundation of Heaven!” You argued back as Adam watched, Sera stared at you before sighing, “Can we speak alone about this?” she requests, eyeing Adam, signaling you to let him leave, “fine.” you scowl at her in detestation, you snap your fingers and the goop evaporated, also summoning his guitar to give back to him, “Christ, you’re a crazy bitch, you know that?” He says insultingly, he spoke as soon he got his guitar but you ignored him as the ordered the with a swift of your finger, the stars dragged him out the room and shut the door, all while you stared at Sera with displeasure.

“Why would you let winners and heaven born give divine judgment to sinners? What was your plan? What the fuck even is this job??” You began, hostility filling your voice. “The sinners were uprising, they were getting more and more bigger in population!” Sera responds, beginning her explanation, “and?” you asked unconvinced, “They were getting stronger, of they become to powerful, they may even reach the Heavens! they would take over and spread evil all over our realm.” She continues as you scoff, “and why would you think that? you doubting your fathers abilities to keep that under control?” you point out as she looks away, making you ponder, “does he even know you’re allowing your people to slaughter souls?” You ask.

She glared at you as she sat up in her seat, “He doesn’t and won’t know.” she says calmly and authoritatively, “seriously?! you’re doing this behind his back?!” You say, raising your voice in shock and anger, “unbelievable!” You say as you step beck from her desk, turning to leave her office, “and where do you think you’re going?” She asks, “where am I going? i’m going to tell all of Heaven on what the fuck you’re doing thats what!” you shout back, opening the door to leave but it shits immediately, Sera now in front of you, “you’re not going anywhere.” she says darkly, her figure towering over you as eyes appeared over her body, her angelic form showing.

You stepped back, looking at her staring daggers at her as she stepped closer to you, “and what makes you think I can’t?” you taunt, as she stood tall in front of you, “you will be silenced.” She says as pulls out an angelic spear of her own, knowing that she was threatening your life now, “What will Emily think when she finds you slaughtered her own sister?” You ask, putting up a facade of bravery, trying not show that she was getting to you, “Emily is not your sister.” Sera says aggressively and threateningly with pure hostility in her voice, seeing as that got to her it made you smug, “We’ll see when she finds out about how you allow her people kill the innocent.” You smirk with a shit-eating grin, knowing that no matter what she did, it wouldn’t turn out well for her.

It in-fact: did not turn out well for you, “We’ll see, when you’re gone for good.” She says as she swiftly moved you too quickly for you to react, her angelic spear carving your back, a mass amount of pain following as you screamed, you fell forward as she pushed you down as she stabbed her spear through her wing, making you wince in pain, adrenaline fueling your body from the shock that she actually took this path of violence. You tried to get up but she stepped on your back, pushing you back down, you look up at her in fear, her cold dead eyes staring into yours, “long before you know it, Emily will forget you even exist.” She says, swinging at your back again as you scream from agony, golden blood now mixing into the dried blood that covered you, you were shaking from terror and pain, she picked you up from your neck, as you struggled in her grasp, “stop- it!-“ you begged, trying to breathe, trying to kick her off you as golden blood dripped onto the ground in her office, she didn’t respond as she opened a portal, you turned to look, the familiar red skies before your very eyes, you turn to Sera desperately, “Don’t do this!-“ you gasped, struggling more in desperation, “You can’t!” You say, trying to pull her grasp off you, you were losing air and the stamina in your body.

“But I will.” She says with no solace or pity in her voice, she threw you into the portal with a second thought, closing it quickly, you gasped for air, adrenaline fueling your body as you regained oxygen to breathe but that was the least of your worries now, you were falling and your wings were to injured to fly, you were panicking as you tried to use your wings to fly but the pain was to unbearable, you saw your stars in the sky from earlier, protecting the sinners, thats it! thats your only ticket, you immediately tried to summon stars but it was a struggle to do so from how much power you already used from earlier, you had to overexert your abilities again, you mustered all the strength you had left within you, your angelic form showing as a bright colorful aura gleamed around you, you summoned stars but it was so hard to focus with adrenaline and panic that was fueling your body, you manage to make some stars but they were falling with you, some staying in place in the air for you to land on but you would quickly bounce off them from impact, you couldn’t focus at all, the sky rained stars that you had tried to quickly make but failed to use, it was too late as you crashed into the ground, a crater formed around you.

Your whole body hurt, it hurt more than anything you felt before, you weakly tried to sit up, you look at something glowing on the ground, you look to see a lavender blue star, the imperfect perfect star Emily had gifted you fell out of your hair, you winced in pain as your reached for the star, grabbed it and holding it to your chest as you laid back onto the ground, completely lost of any stamina and energy left to give.

Golden blood began to surround and puddle around you, the adrenaline and pain was the only thing keeping you awake right now, you laid there weakly, looking at the now red skies, you couldn’t do anything but only to try and breathe, trying to stay away, you were alone and no one in hell was going to go and try to save you. You were helpless, alone, once again. You couldn’t help but cry, scream in pain, why was this always happening to you? Why couldn’t you just find happiness? Why couldn’t the universe- help its only and dearest child? Your screams were so loud but they always heard im deaf ears, why did fate choose you to suffer this path? you screamed until you couldn’t anymore, you stared at the red sky as you waited for your in pending death. While looking at the sky, you see the stars shift toward you, raining their star dust onto you, the dust leaving soft touches on your skin, they felt like cool kisses, soothing your pain, you smiled weakly at your creations, your eyes feeling heavy as they tried closing, you fighting to keep them open but you eventually lost that battle.

eventually, everything went to black.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

TAGLISTT WEEEE:

@ag-cookiebat800 @meow-meowo @kyo-kyo1 @darling-may-i @pink-apples001

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fandomsnrambles · 3 months

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The spinjitzu family has recently become my roman empire for some reason, you’re all going to see so much of them 😭

Anyway, i’ve been thinking about his relationships with his sons recently. And I know he doesn’t have a good relationship with any of them.

I know people argue ‘Wu was his favourite’ but i think if we actually look at how he acts, you realise he didn’t really have a favourite. I also feel personally inclined to respectfully mention that just because Garmadon said it, doesn’t make it true. Characters have biases that mess with their worldviews after all. It’s like saying Wu’s to blame for the devourer’s bite because he said he was. Even though he was like seven, maybe nine and had no idea that snake even existed.

Thats why you should take everything they say with a grain of salt and then consider their actions.

Wu’s relationship with his father is complicated. In the spinjitzu books he mentions how he wants his father’s approval, but doesn’t know how to start with getting it. We also get hints of the FSM’s (flawed) parenting methods in the show. I’ve noticed he’s emotionally distant even if he’s physically there. I mean, Wu says his father talked to them (Garmadon and Wu) less after the Aspheera incident. Makes me think that the FSM was definitely not there emotionally.

Due to this, Wu’s emotional needs as a child weren’t really met. His fathers distance hurt him and the FSM (maybe accidentally) neglected him. I say accidentally because i’m pretty sure the FSM is a traumatised child soldier who doesn’t know how to properly cope with everything so they just shut down/dissociate.

Wu was also raised with high expectations (alongside Garmadon.) This probably put him under a lot of stress to keep up. I’m thinking gifted child who got burnt out and more depressed as he aged.

I also think the FSM has trust and paranoia issues. You can look at Nineko and the way they went about dying for this. This guy really hands their son a script of where he died without telling him he gave it to him and mentions the bare minimum details. (I wonder if mentioning too much details got the FSM hurt. Maybe thats why he’s so distant.) Of course, trauma doesn’t really excuse being a flawed parent.

I also feel the need to mention that Wu unintentionally copies his father’s trauma responses. Heck, we could even talk about how Garmadon does the same, and later Lloyd. They all bottle their emotions and issues and hope nothing bad ever happens with that ever. Too bad for them though, we know how this ends

(Oof this is ✨generational trauma✨ at work)

Moving on to Garmadon, we know that after he got bitten by the devourer, the FSM helped him through his episodes and tries his best to find a cure. From this i can honestly say that the FSM did love and care for his sons. But this doesn’t mean they knew how to properly show that they did (especially because he doesn’t have a proper basis for what parent-child relationships should even look like.)

We see this when we get to know of Garmadon’s insecurities as a child. He doesn’t think there was anything wrong with him and seems to hate how the FSM tries to find a cure for him. Maybe because he doesn’t like the implication that he needs ‘fixing’ more than anything else. Garmadon’s also different than Wu in the sense that he grows more resentful of his father as he grows older whilst Wu clings to his father’s attention to get approval/praise.

I also want to mention how this resentment built up also affects how his perception of Wu’s relationship with their dad. He thinks Wu is favoured probably because Wu doesn’t have the venom and is the good one (because the venom apparently makes Garmadon the ‘bad’ one) and he sees his younger brother as the golden child. This probably built to jealousy and then guilt for the jealousy because Garmadon does love his brother a lot.

The high expectations also come’s into play here. It probably puts a lot of weight on Garmadon’s shoulders. Which doesn’t make his growing feelings of resentment better nor does it make his insecurities about his venom any better.

What makes this whole situation worse is that NO ONE in this family knows how to communicate. Wu doesn’t tell his dad or his brother how he feels, Garmadon doesn’t as well and FSM wouldn’t be caught breathing a word of his feelings to be honest.

This whole family would rather die than communicate ffs.

In conclusion:

#ninjago #sensei wu #lego ninjago #ninjago wu #lord garmadon #ninjago garmadon #ninjago lloyd #kinda? hes mentioned #master wu #sensei garmadon #garmadon #ninjago fsm #fsm ninjago #first spinjitzu master #ninjago first spinjitzu master #btw i hc he/they pronouns for the fsm #along with aroace #spinjitzu brothers

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rampantram · 16 days

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I've been saving this but I can't take it anymore... your art is super cool!! I love the drawing style you have, especially the lines and expressions. Also the dynamic poses and interactions between characters, everything looks so cute but at the same time exciting to keep watching!! I would read a whole manga with your art in it :3

Curious question: what size are your drawings normally? I see that you draw in pencil and many times there is more than one drawing on a single canvas/sheet so I am curious to know approximately the size of your drawings

I hope you don’t mind me using your ask to say this, but…you guys have no idea how much your kindness and positivity has affected me since I started posting my CotL stuff.

I’ve had anxiety since I was a kid, and depression for almost a decade now, and most recently been diagnosed with ADHD and OCD. I’ve had the most lows in my life over the past few years, and my consistency and drive to draw has suffered for it; at most, I’ve posted every other week, but mostly once every couple of months, and even longer than that until now. Being on medication has affected my motivation to draw, and I’ve been on short-term disability for over a month now, trying out new medications and feeling mostly miserable from the side effects.

Despite all that, I’ve wanted truly to finally be consistent with art, interact with people, try new things, and it’s helped so much to have so many people loving the things I’ve come up with. I haven’t been as consistent this last week, and spotty some weeks before that, but you’ve all been so patient despite that, which is part of the reason I want to give you some transparency and vulnerability on my part.

So I apologize if things continue to be a little less than organized or consistent, but I’m going to keep trying my best everyday, because I want to keep bringing you things you enjoy and want to interact with, so…thank you. 🥹

But getting to your question before I really start to tear up…this 9x12 sketchbook by Strathmore (specifically the recycled paper) is what I’ve been using for my sketches for a long while:

And it typically depends on how big or small I think each of the drawings should be, but I do try to keep them on one page if I can just for organizations’s sake.

Also if I know I need to post it from my phone, I try to make things easier for myself by putting things within proximity of each other with my phone’s camera in mind (not the whole page because it’ll be blurry, up and down since that’s easier for me to take a shot with, and so on).

If I’m gonna scan it, that makes things a bit easier, but I do try to condense them enough so I can try and avoid doing two scans of the same page and having to stitch them together (this one below just ended up taking the whole page, and since most scanners - my roommate’s included - usually only scan Letter or A4 size areas, those I end up having to scan on multiple parts and edit them together in Clip Studio Paint).

But of course, it all comes down to what feels right or works with your own method the best (as long as you achieve the outcome you wanted, the tools and method to get there don’t necessarily have to be the “best” or “right” way to do it).

I hope this helps, though, and that you have a brilliant day~✨

#sorry for the long-winded part in the beginning #but I hope being honest helps explain some shortcomings I’ve had in the past #asks #art #my art #cult of the lamb #the ewe au #art advice

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thenextdawn-backup · 1 year

Text

I Will Rescue You

Word count: 3.4K

Summary: story inspired from a Tik Tok, you have always had a blog about Jenna and your mental health, and one day your dreams about meeting her will finally come true.

Warnings: mentions of depression, suicide. Fluff at the end

Pairing: Jenna Ortega X Fem!Reader

This is my favorite story so far. It has a special meaning for me. There’s a lot of me in this story, almost for 6 years now I’ve been struggling with depression and aside from this being a story, I meant what I wrote, I really did. Don’t ever give up because there’s always something’s good in the end of a storm🤍✨

———

Your account on twitter has always had a big following, mostly because of the contents and the subject of your posts. Jenna Ortega. You were the same age as her and you’ve loved her and her work ever since you first saw her on screen, on Stuck in the middle. Ever since you saw every show or movie she was in, every interview every nomination. You never missed any of it, though people on twitter didn’t just follow you because of your contents about Jenna, they also had learned to care about you and your mental health. You’ve always shared how Jenna has saved your life just with some sentences she’d say on the internet that’d make you keep going.

You were suicidal and depressed, and on your twitter account you shared your road to recovery, your ups and down, all of it but most of all you’d encourage people to keep on going, just like you were trying to do, thanks to Jenna. You had never talked to her, she did like your post at times (it was very rare) and that was enough for you, it was like a sign that you had to keep going and that you had to do it so that one day you could get to meet the girl that has saved your life. Each times there were castings open for a show of hers you’d try send your tryout or application even for a side character, you might have seemed obsessed but really, you just wanted to thank her, that was all you wanted to do. You never got called back for her shows until one day.

You had auditioned for one of the side character in Wednesday Season Two, but the director really liked you - considering you had no experience, you must have been really good - and decided to give you one of the main roles in season two of the show. Of course you had to share this with the people that followed you but obviously you couldn’t spill too many details and had to keep it up to a certain point, so you ended up not posting. Recently you had been posting less and less, making your followers really worried about you, given the fact that your last post was “currently about to give up. “ people might have thought you’d do that for attentions but your followers knew better, they knew you were serious. Luckily you hadn’t given out your name so no one could actually retrace you.

You were thrilled, you would finally get to meet the girl that saved your life. You wanted to tell her everything, you just wanted her to know that she saved your life in so many ways that she couldn’t even imagine. And here you were, heading off to Romania to film Wednesday Season Two. You knew your schedule would be tight from now on and you didn’t mind that, because you knew that you would be happy. You finally had the job of your dreams with the girl you always admired… only she didn’t know about you of how she saved you, but that’s where you were wrong. She had been following your twitter account (she wasn’t a follower of yours, but she’d look for your profile to check on you, see if you were alright.) she knew that this fan of hers was struggling, but she didn’t know that it was you, her new cast mate. How could she have known, after all? You never gave out your name for obvious reasons.

Your first day on set was surprisingly good, the atmosphere was just everything you dreamed of. Trailers, sets ready, cameras, booths for food and hair and make up. You had imagined that there was a lot of work behind a show like this, just not THIS MUCH work. The other cast members hadn’t arrived yet but you got the chance to meet the director, Tim Burton. “Hey there! You must be (Y/N) right?” He asked as he shook your hand with a smile. “Yes, it’s really nice to meet you and to be here, it feels surreal” you looked around, still pretty astonished from the whole environment. “It’s good to have you here! You seriously have no experience in the movie industry? Your audition was amazing.” You shook your head, scratching your neck as you blushed. You were a really shy person.

“Really, I have no experience… that’s why I auditioned for a side character… I never thought that you’d want to take someone with Zero experience as a main character” you said and that made him smile. “Well I can recognize talent whenever I see some and there’s really a lot of talent in you, I couldn’t just let it go to waste” he said and that made you smile “plus, the other cast members are around your age and they are all really nice people so they’ll give you lots of tips and tricks of the job, just wait till you meet them” he said kind of excitedly. A while later the other cast members arrived, all together. Percy, Hunter, Joy, Emma and… Jenna.

There she was. The girl that had saved your life. You’d repeat that a thousand of times and you’d never get tired of it. You were ready to tell her everything, and then… you were not. “Hey! I suppose you’re (Y/N)!” It was Emma talking, who held out her hand to you. You shook her hand happily as you looked to everyone else “y-yes it’s me, hi” you said awkwardly, blushing as you shook everyone hers and else’s hand, and Jenna’s too. “I’m Jenna. It’s really good to finally meet you, Tim has talked a lot about you and your audition, we can’t wait to see you in action” she said smiling as she let go of your hand and flashed you one of her brightest smiles. “Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I’m a big fan of all of your works I have to say.” You tried to keep it formal, you didn’t want to seem like the obsessed fan as you didn’t want them to push you away, so your dream of telling her everything vanished with that thought.

The talk with her and everyone else was pretty casual, you didn’t want them to think you were nothing but a fan, and with you being really shy you stayed quiet all the time. They were really good friends with each other and it was easy for them to just talk about anything, but you were scared of being refused by them and you didn’t even know how to engage a small talk with them, unless it was them asking you stuff to which you’d obviously reply, but aside from that, you were quiet. That day like the cast usually does they all sat together in one trailer to play Uno and they invited you as well. They had noticed you were really shy, but they figured you just needed to warm up to them. So they included you in each activity, wether it was hanging out together inside someone’s trailer or going out on dinners together.

That night as you were playing Uno and you were being really quiet as your usual, you had noticed that Jenna was quiet, too. She was very distracted unlike her usual when these nights happened, not that you’d learned. “Jen, are you okay?” Percy asked, getting her attentions as well as everyone else’s in the room. “Yeah, I’m just worried… do you remember that girl on twitter I told you about?” He nodded, but Emma looked at her confused. “What girl?” She asked “there’s this girl, she’s the same age as me. She’s been following me and my work ever since Stuck in the middle. She has always struggled with Mental health and always talked about how I saved her even with just a sentence…” shit, she was talking about you. Was she? “Well her last tweet is from two weeks ago and she tweeted “currently about to give up” and I’m so worried, I just want her to be okay” they definitely were talking about you.

“Well do you know her name? Have you tried texting her-“ everything else became background noises as you thought about everything that she had just said. You couldn’t be in the same room as her at the moment, you just couldn’t bare to. You didn’t want to break and end up telling her everything, you didn’t want to sound that desperate that you’d audition to spend time with her… you had to find an excuse to leave. “Uhm… I’m sorry to interrupt but I think I’ll go to my trailer… it’s been a long day, I woke up pretty early to catch the plane and I’m really tired so I’m going to sleep… goodnight everyone and thanks for the night” you thanked them and they all told you good night, including Jenna but with that same worried look in her eyes.

As soon as you arrived at your trailer you had to keep calm, you wanted to keep calm… only you couldn’t. You wanted to tell her everything but at the same time, could you? Would you seem like a stalker if you told her everything? It was all so scary, and you were reevaluating your choices of coming here. Yet on the other hand, if there was anything you could do to make Jenna less worried was write a tweet. “Hi guys, I’m sorry if I worried you all. I’m fine, just been a rough period. Thank you for supporting me <3” Jenna got the notification of your tweet and her friends saw her exhale of relief as they went on with their night.

The following days went by pretty smoothly you would say. You started filming and you were really good, you’d do all scenes in one take, mostly because your anxiety made you do all things good and precisely, that was probably the only good thing about it because except from that it was not a healthy kind if anxiety. You were slowly warming up to everyone else but you still tried to keep your distances from Jenna. She had tried asking you about it but of course you would just tell her that it was her impression, and that you acted like this with everyone else as well, though she knew that there was something else behind it.

Your time with the others was strictly on set, you refused to spend time with them anywhere else, too scared to break in front of everyone. However even on set the situation was becoming too overwhelming for you, Jenna’s presence and all, good you just wished you could hug her and finally feel safe. The other actors as well as the director noticed your “situation” but just wondered that it was because you had never been on set before and you were still trying to figure out everything, get used to the sleeping schedule and all of it, luckily there was a period where your character wasn’t included in filming so you had a period of rest. Of course the others asked you to spend time with them, wanting to include you in their friend group but you would always make up some excuses.

Though Jenna wasn’t stupid. She knew that there was something up with you and she wanted to help you. The fact that you were also trying to ignore her told her that something was going on and that you refused to tell her, so she had to find out. One day after filming, she saw the lights on in your trailer and decided to come in and talk to you. You heard knocks on your door as you put on a hoodie and opened the door. “Jenna… hi” you said with a small smile, your attempts of ignoring obviously had all failed? “Can I come in? I want to talk to you real quick” she took a quick look at you, eyes puffy and swollen as if you had been crying, but she didn’t want to interrogate you on that, not yet.

She walked in the trailer and looked around. It was meticulously clean and everything was in order, except for your bed. Your laptop and phone on your bed open for everyone to see, but she minded her own businesses and only looked at you. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you or why you’re ignoring me, but I know you’re going through something and I would like to help you…” she started and looked at you, tears filling your (e/c) eyes as you tried to look away from her. “Uhm.. I’m-I’m going to the bathroom real quick and then we can talk…” you said and watched her nod lightly, as you quickly went to the bathroom. You were going in full panic but you couldn’t Jenna was there in the other room, so you just washed your face real quick and tried to catch your breath.

In the meantime, Jenna in the other room had to figure out what was going on. She was sure you wouldn’t tell her everything, so she decided to invade your privacy. ‘Just momentarily,’ she thought. ‘It’s for her own good.’ When she went to take a look at your laptop she saw Twitter was open, your account - the one she has been worried about - open for her to see. It wasn’t like you were just looking at that profile, it was your profile and she was sure of that because you had the interface of writing a post open.

And suddenly she realized everything. The girl who has always wanted to meet her, the one she has wanted to meet; the girl she had saved; the girl she has always wanted to reassure that she’d be okay. It was you, it was you the whole time and she was honestly so glad that it was you, she was so glad to see you were okay. When you came out of the bathroom and saw her look at your laptop, you immediately walked over “what are you doing?” You asked her and immediately took the laptop, shutting it close and moving it away. “(Y/N), you’re that girl from twitter-“ she didn’t know what else to add, it all came out as a shock to her. You looked down, tears still filling your eyes as you refused to say anything. “Why did you never tell me anything?” She asked you and you sighed, sitting down trying to calm down and catch your breath.

She sat down next to you, hand on your back as she waited for you to speak. “I- I didn’t want to come out as desperate to your eyes. I mean I am I never denied I’m not… all I ever wanted to do was just meet you and tell you everything but when I came here, I just couldn’t. I froze, I didn’t want to seem like the stalker of the situation that would find a role on set just to be with you. Truly that was not what I meant to do, but I did and now I’m going out of my mind. I tried not to say anything because you have your perfect life, I didn’t want to be a weigh in your life with my pathetic needs, so I never said anything. But it’s getting really heavy, It’s really hard to keep everything in with my condition-“ by now you were full on sobbing, and Jenna took your hand to try and reassure you.

“This is why I’m always staying alone in my trailer… I didn’t want to just be a weight” you kept not looking at her, wiping your own tears with your free hand, while Jenna was tightly squeezing your other one, rubbing her hand against your back. “When on my profile I said that you saved me, I mean it, Jenna. There were days where I was on the verge of… committing suicide…” you said the last two words in a lower voice tone “and then I’d remember your interview, when you said about fighting depression and I’d think “why kill myself when I still have my whole life ahead of me” and I’d be okay, if I never got to know you I would have never survived those crappy periods” you kept it simple, not wanting to go in details.

“(Y/N),” she called for you, and you looked up to look at her, eyes worried and eyebrows furrowed in sorrow “I’m sorry for everything that you went through, but I’m glad that even just a few sentences of mine managed to keep you floating.” She started and kept on holding your hand, but when she saw you pulling it away she squeezed it even tighter. “I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you, whenever you need me. As you know I’ve struggled with depression too, and it wasn’t easy coming out of it but there’s nothing better than saying “I made it” and I want to hear you say it too” you looked down at what she said, you had been depressed for a really long time now and you didn’t believe that there was any chance of you getting better.

“Look at me” she used a soft voice of tone, eyes completely focused on you as you turned to look at her, she noticed fear in your eyes as you tried to focus on your breathing. “if you get lost, I will send out an army of people to find you, even when you’re in your darkest places I’ll be there to rescue you from every single one of them. Now that we know each other it’ll be even easier. I know you think you’ll never get out of it but you will and I’ll be there every step of the way. Are we clear?” She said with a soft, sad smile as she looked at you hopeful.

You slowly nodded at her and tried hinting a small smile as well, she knew you wanted to try, she knew you were willing to do so with her. “Come here” she said and pulled you in a hug, the one you have been craving for so long, and She heard you try and suppress sobs. “You can let it go (Y/N)” she whispered in your ear. You tried to keep your composure for some more, but you gave in. You were soon crying on her shoulders and gripping her shirt almost as if your life depended on her - which it kind of did - you finally got to tell her everything, you finally got to hug the woman that has saved your life multiple times and she promised to you and herself to help you out, you couldn’t ask for anything better.

You were so sobbing and screaming on her shoulders, your tears wetting her shirt but she didn’t seem to care as she held you tightly as one hand brushed through your hair, all while she kept whispering sweet nothings into your ear. “It’ll be okay (Y/N). You’re okay. I’m here with you from now on” she kept on repeating, trying to reassure you until you had actually calmed down, which took around 15 minutes. When the two of you had pulled back from the hug she moved some hair away from your face as you smiled at her, and noticed that her eyes were now red and teary too. “Why are you crying too?” You asked her, sniffling as you took a tissue and cleaned your nose. She smiled “I’m just glad to finally be at your side and see you’re okay” she nodded and sniffled as well, you smiled slightly.

“Are you gonna come to Percy’s trailer to play uno from now on? We really enjoy being around you” she asked, this made you smile brighter than earlier, luckily they didn’t just see by you as a “newbie” and actually wanted to be around you. You nodded at her and smiled, soon enough she took your hand and the two of you headed to his trailer.

Looks like you’ll finally have some friends.

#jenna ortega #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x fem!reader #vada cavell #wednesday #wednesday x y/n #wednesday x you #wednesday x reader #wednesday adams #wednesday adams x reader #wednesday addams #wednesday addams x y/n #wednesday addams x you #wednesday addams x reader

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maknaeswrld · 7 months

Text

love is worth the wait | l.mh

wc: 2.4k

genre: best friends to strangers(?) to lovers; idiots to lovers

cw: angst; depression/mentions of having depression; ✨miscommunication✨; roomies are based off my irls and Jun isn’t based off anyone specific; roomies are trying their best; fluff!!; please let me know if I missed anything

part one: when you loved me

You stayed in bed for much longer than you would have liked to admit. Depression had never really been something you struggled with, but it seemed to be the week for new emotions so why not sprinkle in some other things too?

You knew your roommates were ridiculously worried about you, you’d be worried too if any of them just randomly shut down one day over a boy. But between the depression naps and sad cereals and binging romcoms, you knew step by step you’d pick yourself up again.

Part of you wished you could go back to believing you never had been and never would fall in love, but you also knew now that it was bound to happen eventually. Some people don’t fall in love, and that's okay, but no matter how much you fought it, you weren’t one of those people.

Your co-workers at work knew something was wrong. No matter how hard you tried to hide it, your sluggish movements and the dreadful bags under your eyes gave you away.

You were heartbroken. You never thought you’d be one of those girls from high school that learned love and heartbreak in the blink of an eye at the hands of Lee Minho, yet here you were, years later, doing just that.

Jun had tried to reach out to you a few times, but as much as you cared for your friend, you didn’t want the painful reminders of Minho that he always brought with just his presence alone.

You stopped everything Stray Kids related. You couldn’t bring yourself to listen to their music, you turned off their youtube notifications, you’d even taken down your photocards and hid away your Leebit Skzoo. Your life was missing a large part of it without your unwavering devotion to keeping up with the band.

You didn’t want to see him and be reminded of your years of stupidity, or even worse, see him with that girl. Learning you’re in love with someone by seeing them happy with another person isn’t exactly the best way to go about figuring things out, and you knew it’d tear you apart to see him laughing because of her again.

You assumed she was his girlfriend, there had been rumors floating around for months that he was seeing someone.

You came to the conclusion that you didn’t want to ruin anything for him just because it took you this long to realize his childhood crush on you.

All you wanted was to go home and take a nice long shower and maybe a nap. You had a three day weekend and you were planning to milk every second of sleep and relaxation and moping you could out of it, but when you walked into your house, you heard a voice you dreaded laughing in the kitchen with your roommates.

You shouldn’t have been surprised to find Jun in your apartment, he and Lia had been best friends since diapers so of course they still spent time together, but that didn’t make you any happier to see him.

You tried to tiptoe past the kitchen doorway so you could make a mad dash to your bedroom without having to talk to Jun or any of your roommates, but you didn’t succeed.

“Oh, Y/n! Look, Jun came to see you. Have you really been ignoring his texts and calls because you’re moping about Lee Minho?”

Sometimes you had to really stop and ask yourself if Lia was your roommate and best friend or your mother.

“In my defense, I’ve been ignoring everyone.” She shoots you a sharp look and you slump. “I’m sorry. I just thought it’d be too painful to talk to you when pretty much all of our memories together include him.”

Jun’s eyes were soft and understanding as he took in your appearance.

“Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll fix up something to eat? You look like you could use a home cooked meal.”

“You don’t have to do that, Jun,”

“I want to, and it’s no worry at all.” He gave you a kind smile and gently started pushing you in the direction of your bathroom. “Go on, take as much time as you need.”

You wanted to argue but your stomach growled and your muscles ached, so you gave in and grabbed a change of clothes and your dance team jacket from your room before starting up the water in your bathroom.

A hot shower was definitely what you needed, the warmth soothed you all over and you felt yourself truly relax for the first time in weeks. You ran the water until it was cold before finally getting out and getting dressed. Stepping out of the steamy bathroom, the aroma of a fresh, home cooked meal flooded your senses and your stomach growled.

You slowly made your way back down the hall toward the kitchen. You hesitated to enter when you heard talking.

“He should be here any minute.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Jun? I mean, she’s trying to get over him.”

“Trust me on this one, will ya? You didn’t have to sit through two years of high school with them and then deal with Minho ever since.”

“That’s fair. Eve, hun, you met Y/n in university so you didn’t get a front row seat to the full extent of the no relationships thing. That girl and Min, they were such a disaster in high school.” Lia rolled her eyes.

Before you could really stop to think about what they were saying, there was a knock at your door. You peered into your kitchen to see that they were all too busy talking to have heard it so you made your way to the door yourself.

You didn’t bother to check who it was, swinging the door open with zero hesitation and freezing immediately upon the sight in front of you.

Lee Minho was standing outside your apartment with a sheepish grin and an oreo mcflurry.

You blinked at him twice and then shut the door.

Slowly turning on your heel, you see Eve, Lia, and Jun had finally noticed and were watching from the kitchen. You weren’t sure if you wanted to hug them or smack them.

“Hey! Don’t be rude, you can’t just slam the door in peoples faces!” Eve scolded.

Jun covered her mouth with his hand, not even flinching when she immediately licked it. “Open the door, Y/n. Trust me.”

Taking a deep breath, you turned back around and opened the door again, this time seeing a dejected Minho.

“Hi.”

You weren’t really sure what else to say. It had been so long since you last interacted with him that you felt like that scared new girl looking for a sports credit all over again.

“Hey.” it was a lot more nervous than you were used to.

He seemed to be in a trance, as if he was seeing you for the first time. Raising a brow at him, you held the door open a little wider.

“You gonna come in or what?” His eyes sparkled as he smiled and walked into your apartment. He looked around, not really sure what to do, and then he looked at you again, but this time he really looked at you.

“You’re wearing the jacket.” He whispered in shock.

You blushed and pulled it closer into yourself. “Yeah. I uh, I wear it a lot.”

You crossed your arms self consciously and dropped your gaze to the floor.

The hand holding the mcflurry came into view, and you looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I used to bring you these all the time, don’t you remember?”

You smiled slightly. “Of course I do. Thanks.”

Taking the mcflurry, you shyly brushed by him and headed for the kitchen.

“So, Minho, what are you doing here?” You tried to sound nonchalant, but you knew he knew you better than that, even if you hadn’t seen each other since high school.

He took a deep breath and gently grabbed your arm, pulling you toward him.

“I came for you. I wanted to talk to you before the show the other week but by the time I got out the door you left through, you were gone. I didn’t know you could walk that fast, especially without tripping.” He laughed shyly and rubbed the back of his neck. “I was kinda sad you left without so much as a hello, but Jun said he could get in touch with you so I wasn’t too worried, but then you never picked up. If I did something to upset you, I’m really sorry.”

Your heart melted for him, and you looked at your shoes, suddenly feeling very guilty.

“Sorry about that. I’ve kind of just been going through a lot lately.”

He nodded understandingly and didn’t push it.

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed you by your shoulders and made you look into his eyes.

“Did you find the note?”

You were nodding before you could stop yourself, you had never been able to lie to Lee Minho.

“I found it the day after I ran out.”

His face shifted from nervous to disappointed. “Is that why you stopped coming to my events?”

You froze, taken aback.

He knew you were there?

“If it makes you feel any better, I wrote that in high school, ya know? I thought when you found it, we’d still be by each other's sides. I’m sorry if it freaked you out. I’d take it all back if it meant you go back to attending my events”

His words registered in your head faster than the sentiment behind them did and tears welled up in your eyes. You heard him curse and ask what was wrong, but you were lost in your thoughts.

You were so happy to hear he noticed you, he knew you were at his events and he noticed when you stopped coming, but then he told you he wishes he never wrote the letter that made you realize everything in the first place. It was all too much to handle in your fragile state.

He gently cupped your cheeks and wiped away your tears.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?”

You stared up into his gorgeous brown eyes and wished you could stay drowning in them forever.

You had to distance yourself. He regretted the letter, he has a girlfriend, he only saw you as a friend.

Shoving him away from you, your heart ached at the gap between you and the sudden loss of contact.

“Why are you here?” You hated that your voice cracked, that your emotions were so close to the surface.

“What do you mean, Y/n/n, I’m-”

“Don't call me that! Please, don’t call me that.”

It was taking everything in you not to run and lock yourself in your room. His presence was too much for you to handle.

He just scoffed, brows furrowed. “Well then what do you want me to call you? Y/l/n?”

“Why are you here, Lee?” You asked again, your voice steadier than you expected this time.

He scoffed, his agitation almost palpable as he rolled his eyes. “I’m here because the girl I’ve been in love with since first year ran off when we finally could have reunited. I’m here because some part of me was hoping that maybe you finally realized how you felt.

“I spent every single day of my professional career trying to perform my best because I knew you’d be watching. I kept hoping that one day you’d come down from your seat in the stands after a show and hug me. I naively hoped I meant something, anything, to you.

“I’ve spent years waiting for a text or a call, anything that would prove to me that you missed me as much as I missed you, but I figured you’d finally had your dream life, and there wasn’t any place left in it for your fuckboy best friend from high school.

“I’m here because Jun said you haven’t been doing well lately and I figured the best medicine to cheer you up is an oreo mcflurry. I thought I could see you again, and we could talk, and I could finally have my Y/n back. But instead, I just learned that all those years of watching my performances didn’t mean what I’d hoped they did because the second you learned the truth, you left me behind.”

There were tears in his eyes now. He respected the distance you’d placed between the two of you, but you wished he wouldn’t.

You tried to process what he was saying, what it meant.

“That’s not true.” You whispered. His eyes were watery, proof of how hurt he felt, yet he refused to look away from you. “That’s not true at all. The letter didn’t scare me away, in fact it did the opposite. It made me realize I was always in love with you. I never wanted to admit it because I was scared, but there’s never been anyone else I’ve ever wanted to be with more than I want to be with you.

“I’m exactly what I never wanted to be. I’d give up everything to be with you. But I’d also give you up if it meant your happiness, and I didn’t want to be the girl to ruin your relationship because I was a few many years too late. I was just trying to let you go, Min. I needed to be apart from you in order to accept the truth of my situation.”

The room was quiet for only a few moments, you could see the gears turning in his head as he put together what you had said.

“You love me?” His voice broke, as if the weight of the world had just lifted from his shoulders. “Wait, hold on, you think I have a girlfriend? And that's why you stopped coming to my events?”

“I saw the way you laughed with her, Min. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh that genuinely.”

He was thinking now, trying to remember. You could see when it clicked and he started laughing.

“You saw me with Nari. Y/n, Nari is my cousin, we’re both only children so we’ve always been close, like siblings. She was in town to visit for her birthday.”

You blinked emotionlessly as you thought about it. How could you have been so stupid? A blush spread furiously and you hid your face in your hands. You were beyond embarrassed and wishing for the floor to open up and swallow you whole right about now.

Minho gently pried your hands away from your face, a lovely smile gracing his lips.

“I only ever loved you, Y/n.”

a/n: thank you so much for reading my silly little story, reblogs/comments are a great way to interact and always appreciated🫶

Alternate Ending: heartbreak is a part of life

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids fics #lee know #skz fanfic #skz x reader #lee know fanfic #lee know x y/n #lee know x reader #lee minho x reader #lee minho

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