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dzpenumbra · 1 year

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5/25/23

Another tired day, I'm wiped. 6 hours of sleep is just not enough for me.

I did a yoga thing today that was very intense. I swear it's just my shoulders holding me back right now, which is frustrating. I've put on a layer of belly fat for the first time in my life. It's really not that big of a deal, but I don't know. I did some core routine today expecting to hit my core hard, but I'm not even sore. It's weird.

Working out has changed a lot for me, recently. I used to be able to work out much more, and then I'd feel sore throughout the rest of the day. Today, my shoulders basically gave out again. It was doing climbers or whatever they're called, I don't know. And it was at the end of a routine after a bunch of other shoulder stuff, including planks. And my shoulders just noped out after like 5 or 6 of 'em. And I took a break, and got back up and did more, then collapsed again. And my shoulders aren't even sore right now. I don't get it. But hey, beating myself up about it sure as hell isn't going to make anything better. I just need to keep practicing.

Maybe I need to tune up my diet. This whole ice cream every night thing has gotten out of hand. It started as a morale thing, something I typically do during the Fall and Winter because I get super depressed in the Winter... but this time I made an exception because of the whole grieving thing. And it's been like... an ice cream sundae every night. And that shit ain't good. Sugar is the big bad one. I'm definitely not in my 20's anymore, I'm not even in my early 30's anymore. I actually have to watch my diet a bit now, and not just because of putting on weight.

On the whole diet thing... I ordered groceries today and put on a big batch of chicken spinach artichoke pasta in the slow cooker. It's fucking good, it's one of my favorites. I don't think it's that bad, health-wise. Idk. I've never really cared enough to get into min-maxing nutrition. I feel like I just need to be more active.

I'm feeling a little frustrated and a bit anxious being in an urban environment. I like that I'm near things (but... it's not like I go anywhere), and it definitely makes living without a car much easier... but like... Nature is so far away. And at the old house, I would go on a 5 minute drive and spend the whole day walking around in the woods. I miss that shit a lot. I would love a trail maintenance job. In fact, before I had to give up on the whole car thing, I was going to apply for an intensive course on sustainable trail making. I was really excited about it, too. And... obviously I had to tap out of that, no transportation. Sad. But hey, if I could make that work someday, that'd be chill. Go out and walk the trails every day, stay home and do art and internet shit at night. That's a nice balanced life, in my opinion.

I'm a bit anxious because I heard a bunch of bangs the other day and it turns out they were gunshots. It was on the road across the river from me. Probably not super close, but too close for comfort. That was the place I was thinking about going for a nice ride on my electric skateboard one of these days. Is it paranoid for me to not feel safe skating alone on a sidewalk a few days after some lunatic was shooting at houses at 1AM? Maybe. But I feel it. So... yeah.

God, I'm really exhausted. I can tell by how little I engage with thought-streams.

I finished my abstract ink piece, but I didn't take a picture, so maybe I'll post that tomorrow or something, I don't know. I started another one too. That was my art for the day. No bead work. I looked up the problem with the Mod Podge and... it's just how Mod Podge is. I guarantee I googled this back in February, too, and came to the same conclusion. I have acrylic sealer, if I feel like giving that a try... I can bring these outside and spray them down tomorrow, consider them a test run. I would assume an aerosol acrylic sealer on top of Mod Podge would make these things bulletproof. But I don't think I've ever used it before, so I don't know.

So yeah, that stuff and groceries and that was pretty much my day.

Oh fuck... actually... it wasn't. Because something happened before my day started. And... I now remember why I've been really anxious and on edge today. My anxiety has been heightened, but like... okay... how do I put this... my baseline feels fine, but if I get anxious... that shit is massively amplified. If that makes sense. Like... the stream I was watching was talking about how half of all violent crimes go unreported or something, and normally that would be concerning and upsetting... but it set off those doom feelings. Like... "wow, this planet is fucked. I live in the Wild West. I could die at any moment" kinda shit. And that gasoline on my anxiety fire... was a text message that was waiting for me when I woke up. It was from a number I saved in my phone as "WARNING - <person's name>". It was the chick who used to be my "best friend" in highschool. The one I dreamed about the other day, when my dog was in my dream. The one who was denied custody of her 5 kids, who was homeless, who was wanted in court for fentanyl smuggling charges. And the message... was "hey <my name>?" That's it. Ugh it's giving me that sinking feeling in the chest. Ugh.

I didn't do anything. I just left it. I just fucking left it. I swiped it away. I read it later to make the notification go away, to make that red text number stop tricking me into thinking I have a conversation waiting for me. I'm not responding to it. I guarantee the only reason she's reaching out to me is because she can make me pity her. Because I'm the only one who was being even remotely nice to her, or listened to her. And I completely regret that, honestly. She traumatized the fuck out of me, in more ways than I can count. And I doubt she even realizes she did, or would really care if it were brought to her attention.

I'm gonna level here. I talk about a lot of stuff openly in here, and that's because 1). this is stream of consciousness, it's the entire fucking point. And 2). I really try to be honest with myself and work through shit as it comes up. I was trained from a very young age to repress things, bury them and never deal with them (it's a lovely family tradition) and... it fucked me up. Addressing things and being mindful, etc... it changed my life. You're waiting for it... it's coming... get ready... BUT... XD

But, I don't want to engage this. The second I remembered that the text happened, I felt like the whole room got darker. I feel like I'm being watched, I feel like someone could be standing behind me, I feel like my door is most likely unlocked right now because I went and picked up groceries earlier and someone could have come in without me hearing because I have headphones on and they could be like 10 feet behind me and I wouldn't even be aware. And right this moment, it is an absolute leap of faith that I have not looked behind me one fucking time. Because that's a combination of my deep rooted primal nervous system reaction - my panic - being set off by the text message memory... and the associated traumas... and that making me instinctually feel unsafe... and then my logical brain frantically scrambling for kneejerk reasoning for why I feel deeply unsafe right now. Guess what, logical brain. It's because that chick who texted me? The one who thinks she's my friend, despite really not giving half a shit about me at all? She has made more poor decisions than any single person I've ever met. She, as a person, embodies self-indulgence... a person who outright refuses to resist temptation, often scoffing at the thought of it. And the wake of destruction that I witnessed? The broken relationships, the sobbing heartbroken parents, the neglected kids... It's fucking gutting. It's mortifying. It just reminds me of all the things that I detest in this world, all the horrible things that people do to each other. All the preventable suffering. Especially the kids. And I just... I can't. I just emotionally cannot do it. The emotions are so fucking strong that they make my body feel like it is imminently facing death itself. I wish I was exaggerating, the panic system activated when that stuff comes up is literally the alarm system in my brain that warns me of threats to my mortality.

So... wonder why I never joined Rescue Squad? Or CPS? Or even became a therapist or substance abuse counselor? I get this kind of response just reading a text message from a person connected to that kind of stuff. There's no way I could sit down and talk to someone right after it happened, with the person who did it, in person, and not take it home with me. And I ain't got no one at home to help shoulder that burden.

God, I'm so emotional. And my goldfish ass keeps forgetting! You know what made me remember? Most recently? When I was at the vet and had to put my cat down. The vet was crying with me. The vet, who is a doctor, who has put tons of animals down... like... it's part of the job, let's not beat around the bush here... She was tearing up with me, and apologized to me for her lack of professionalism. I've had that effect on a former therapist, too. My emotions are so fucking strong that other people feel them vicariously. That's a hell of a fucking cross to bear. And I have to sit with them and manage them alone!

I wasn't going to engage with the text thought, I was going to talk about how I'm just not going to get into it tonight... but I'm actually glad I did. I feel much calmer now. I feel much safer having just... narrated that. I added that technique back in 2019, it's weird how well it works. It's like... the fear feeds off of the disorientation in the moment and just snowballs... but if you just sorta... narrate the situation from a third person perspective? Like in a video game, just pop your consciousness into a third person camera view and just narrate what the situation is? It actually helps a lot in emotional grounding, and helping a frantically flailing logical brain figure out what it's dealing with and how to react... rather than just assume shadows are beasts with fangs and react accordingly.

That tarot reading was really helpful last night. Super surreal to have The Moon come up... about like... deceit and people not being what they seem... and then I get a text from that chick like... 6 hours later. But that reading has been on my mind a lot, and I'm planning on talking about that in my therapy session tomorrow. The shit I was going over at the end of last night's journal about like... how to react to people who are being manipulative and deceitful.

Fuck it, let's do a reading. I shuffled and I'm feeling a bit stumped. The same question I had last night keeps popping into my mind, but... I'm just leaning towards... doing a cold reading and just seeing what happens. Trying to follow my instincts. The same deal, 3-card spread, Past/Present/Future. Tarot of the Abyss deck, if you feel like playing along.

First position - Past - King of Pentacles, inverted. (Someone with the Midas touch, dependable, determined, honest, an open heart, an active role in designing a life, stop thinking/start acting.) Second position - Present - III: The Empress, upright. (Progression, creation, birth, growth.) Third position - Future - Eight of Pentacles, upright. (Work, industry, learning/mastering a skill, schooling, education, apprenticeship. With passion, this is not work, it’s an opportunity to shine.)

I just copied my notes from my tarot study Google Doc I've been making and put those in the parentheses for context. The King of Pentacles and Eight of Pentacles have actually come up a lot for me, but this is my first time getting the Empress with this deck. She's a very beautiful card, I like the art a lot.

So... let's try to figure this one out. King of Pentacles, in my experience, embodies a confident, willful, successful self... and this is represented inverted... implying a disorder, a chaotic effect coming from this symbol. Negative byproducts of these actions? Taking a leap of faith in moving toward a life and having it not work out? Something like that? That thread from the Past... is connected to my current obsession with nurturing life. I mean, the only thing I have left to do tonight after this is water my plants, because I tend a fucking garden in my home now. Having the literal symbol of Mother Nature show up in my Present isn't too much of a shock. So... the inverted King of Pentacles is connected to my influx of creativity and my obsession with propagating and nurturing life right now. And both of those are connected in my potential future... to the Eight of Pentacles... which is all about labor, craft, education, stuff like that.

The Present and Future make perfect sense for me. The Past? I'm still struggling with that a bit. Inverted cards are always tricky for me, they can be read in so many different ways. The symbol could be missing... or it could be the opposite of that symbol... or it could mean the symbol is being acted upon you rather than you being the symbol. There's a lot of ways that it can be read, and I always struggle with that inner conflict of like... "how do I read this correctly?" As if there's a wrong way... But my gut keeps saying "dysfunction". Like... I was embodying the traits of King of Pentacles, but something went wrong... it didn't work... it fell apart. Which... honestly does make sense for me.

So... summing that up in a really long run-on sentence... I was very confident and honest and took a lot of big leaps of faith, as the King of Pentacles would do, and it went fuckin wrong... but that led to me here, right now, nurturing life and bathing in creativity... and if I continue this path, there can be some good fortune in pursuing craft and furthering education.

Weird that I brought up that... sustainable trail building course earlier... hmm... probably just a meaningless coincidence that I will deliberately ignore in my efforts to staunchly spit in the face of anything meaningful above my own conscious decision-making, just out of spite. <sarcastic smirk>

That was a nice message, glad I did the reading. The Empress is a nice card in this deck, very warm presence, I hope to see more of her.

Alright, that's as good a note as any to end the night on. I'm feeling much more at ease and safe. Bed time!

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness

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silhouetteofacedar · 3 years

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Fox Mulder, Closet Romantic Ch. 6: The Slowest Cooker

Previous Chapter - AO3 - MSR, rated E

It’s Friday, April 17th, and they’re eating lunch in the Hoover building’s cafeteria. They eat lunch together almost every day now, Mulder realizes. They’re practically joined at the hip.

Except in the fun way.

Today is different, though. Because today she invites him over for dinner.

Scully’s devouring a caesar salad, and Mulder’s heart is warmed by the evidence of her returning appetite. Five months ago, she was dying of cancer, and now she’s here stealing the occasional potato chip from the bag he got from the vending machine. He doesn’t mind; she could take his entire sandwich from him right now, and he’d happily watch her eat it.

“Do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow?” she asks, covering her mouth with her hand as she chews. “My mother got me a crockpot for my birthday and I’m thinking of giving it a test drive.”

His heart leaps, and he wants to shout yes, but instead he asks “What about Mark?”

She gives him one of her patented Scully looks. “I’m allowed to have friends, Mulder. And I still owe you for going to the bar with me that one time, remember?” She takes another bite of salad. “Also, he’s working.”

“Ah,” Mulder says knowingly. “Sure; what’s on the menu?”

“Pork roast,” she replies. “My mom’s recipe. The leftovers make great pulled-pork sandwiches.”

“Anything you’d like me to bring?”

Scully shrugs. “Red wine would go nicely, but I’ll be testing you at the door to make sure you’re not Eddie Van Blundht,” she says dryly.

“You gonna check me for evidence of a tail, Scully?” he says in a low tone, leaning in so they’re not overheard.

“Keep that up and I’m rescinding my invite and keeping all the leftovers to myself,” she replies, picking a wilted bit of romaine out of her salad.

It’s not a date, he reminds himself. Just friends sharing dinner.

Regardless, he takes a shower and puts on one of his nicer sweaters before heading to her place.

He knocks on her door at 6:30 sharp, a bottle of Pinot Noir in hand. His palm is a little sweaty, and he grips the wine tightly to avoid dropping it.

“It’s open,” he hears her call out.

He opens the door and is hit by the savory aroma of meat and herbs. His mouth waters instantly. When he turns and sees her in the kitchen, it waters for a different reason entirely.

Scully’s reaching into the cupboard above the sink, her soft green sweater riding up to expose a ribbon of creamy skin. He wants to wrap his arms around her waist, kiss her neck, tell her to forget dinner because he’s got something else on his mind.

Instead he just says “Hey”.

“Hi,” she greets him, bringing down two salad plates and setting them on the table. “Do you want to hear the good news first or the bad?”

Mulder blinks. “Uh,” he says brilliantly. That goddamn little sweater-

“The good news is that I’ve had the crockpot running for about six hours, and nothing’s caught fire,” she says, leaning against the countertop.

He nods. “And the bad news is…”

“I started the roast at almost half noon,” Scully admits. “I had to go to the grocery store first and that took longer than expected. So the meat won’t be done until eight-thirty.”

“That’s fine,” Mulder says, hoping his stomach doesn’t rumble loudly enough for her to hear. “Oh, and I brought Pinot Noir,” he says, reading the label.

---

They eat the salad she prepared; it’s spinach and apple with vinaigrette, and Mulder has to admit it’s pretty tasty.

“You’re a good hostess, Scully,” Mulder says as she pours him a glass of Prosecco. “Maggie should be proud.”

“Please note the size of crockpot she gifted me,” Scully replies, gesturing to the slow-cooker on the counter. “She fully intends for me to feed a crowd, not just you. I have a long way to go.” She sits across from him and takes a sip of her wine. “But this is a start.”

“Can I make a confession?” he asks.

Scully nods.

“I… I don’t drink much wine. So I have no idea if the one I brought is any good. I told the store clerk I was having pork for dinner and he recommended that one,” Mulder says, cocking his head toward the bottle on the counter.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Scully assures him. “I’m not a wine snob by any means. I’m kind of surprised you’re not one, actually, considering your background.”

Mulder shrugs. “I don’t drink much, aside from the occasional beer. But this is good,” he says, lifting his glass.

———

The Prosecco is… very good.

“How long until the meat’s done?” Mulder asks, resting his head on his hand.

“Half hour,” Scully replies, downing the last sip of her wine. “I’m sorry, Mulder. Do you want some cheese and crackers to tide you over?”

“M’good,” he says lazily, stifling a burp. He’s feeling warm and soft inside, and the wine’s put him in a charitable mood. “How are things with Mark?”

“Things are good… things are fine,” Scully says, then sighs. “He’s… god, he’s so nice.”

“Nice is good, right?” Mulder asks, toying with his empty wine glass. “People like nice.”

Scully narrows her eyes at him. “Are you feeling okay, Mulder?”

“We’re not talking about me,” he says, slumping in his chair and stretching his long legs out under the table. “We’re talking about Mark. Mark Eidolanterns.”

“Einolander,” Scully corrects him. “And yes, nice is good, generally,” she continues. “But sometimes I wish he weren’t so nice. I don’t know,” she says, exhaling. “I need more wine if I’m going to talk about this,” she says with a huff of laughter.

“Hey, we got it,” Mulder says. “Dinner’s almost ready anyway. Let’s try the mystery Pinot I brought.”

---

The pot roast is done cooking and they’re definitely a little drunk.

“Whew… I’m feeling this,” Mulder says, holding the bottle up too close to his face as he attempts to read the label. “It’s been so long, I forgot that wine does this to me.”

“Higher alcohol content,” Scully says. “And you’re a lightweight.”

“That your medical opinion, Dr. Scully?” he asks.

“Yes,” she mumbles, slicing a piece off of the roast and dumping it unceremoniously onto his plate. “Tada,” she says, pushing it across the table to him. “Meat.”

“I can see that,” he remarks. He takes another sip of wine. “Wine’s good,” he assures her, even though she’s already on her second glass of the red.

“Can’t say the same for the roast,” she admits, chewing. “I skimped on the salt and in hindsight that was a bad idea.”

Mulder shovels a piece into his mouth. “Tastes good to me,” he assures her. “But I’ve only had wine and salad since lunchtime so at this point I’d eat anything. I’d eat you,” he adds, pointing his fork in her direction.

“Pass that idea along to Mark,” she sighs, then covers her mouth. “I didn’t say that,” she says, face red.

“You did,” Mulder crows, too tipsy to feel jealous. “You did and I heard you.” He takes another draw from his glass. “The store guy was right, this is good with pork.”

“You’re going to have an incredible hangover tomorrow,” Scully says, chewing meditatively. “Wine’s a bitch.”

“You should swear more,” Mulder says. “It’s endearing.”

Scully shakes her head. “I can’t believe how drunk you are,” she says, almost fondly.

“I’m not that drunk,” he insists. Just in love with you.

Scully smiles. “No sober man has ever said that.”

---

“There’s no spark,” she blurts out.

They’d taken the rest of of the wine to the couch and are slumped on opposite ends, goblets in hand.

“No spark?” Mulder echoes. It was an admission he wasn’t expecting. He angles his body towards hers, careful not to spill his glass.

“With Mark. I like him, I really do. He’s kind, intelligent, a devoted father, and quite attractive; and yet…” She gestures loosely to her body with the hand not holding her wine. “Nothing.” She takes another sip. “I can’t shake the idea that I should be feeling more. And the fact that he hasn’t kissed me yet... I understand wanting to move slowly and let things grow with time, but not even a single kiss?”

“Th-that did strike me as odd,” Mulder stumbles. “You have nice lips.”

“I do,” Scully agrees, seemingly unfazed by the comment. “I should be kissed.” She drains her glass and holds it out to him.

Mulder pours out the last of the bottle into her glass. “Maybe if… maybe if you kissed, you’d find the spark.”

Scully shakes her head. “No. No, it does’t work that way. At least not for me. I don’t want to force chemistry that’s not there,” she explains. “It should come naturally, feel like it does with-”

Mulder waits expectantly for her to finish her sentence. “With?” he prompts.

Her face is flushed with wine, and she licks her lips. “Mulder, tell me honestly; do you think I’m settling?”

The room suddenly feels too warm, and he takes a nervous gulp of wine that does nothing to calm his body. “Scully, I- I’m the wrong person to ask.”

“You’re my closest friend,” she says softly, eyes cast downward. “Who else would I ask?”

She has a point. “Your mother-” he begins.

“She set me up with him in the first place,” Scully reminds him. “Clearly she’d be no help.”

“What do you want, Scully? If you’re honest with yourself.” He raises his glass. “In vino veritas, or whatever,” he says, taking another drink.

“I don’t know,” she says. “I always do this. I find a man I want to impress or gain the approval of, then resent the authority I let them have over me. This cycle of… of compliance and defiance is exhausting.”

He can tell she’s tipsy, and yet at the same time she’s strangely lucid. He’s never gotten to experience this particular kind of vulnerability with her before, and it gives him a thrill. He can feel the warmth of her body permeating him from across the sofa, her bright hair like a wood stove fire on a winter night. He wants to wrap her entire body around him like a blanket and have a long sleep.

“Yup, I’m drunk,” he declares, and throws back the last of his glass.

#my fic #txf fic #xfiles #msr #fox mulder closet romantic #fmcr #DRUNK AGENTS WITH POT ROAST #i don't drink so i did a lot of research for this okay like a LOT #the next two chapters are gonna be WILD aaa

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softsakusas · 3 years

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MORNING HAPPINESS

Ship: Suna x GN! Reader

Type: Imagine

Genre: Fluff

A/N: I've been thinking about this for a whole , when suddenly an idea got in my head, so why not right it and share it. Song inspo is from Kiss Me More by Doja Cat ft. Sza, this song has been stuck in my mind like obsess with it and I'm having LSS with it xianidhsiz. Hope y'all enjoy this and stay safe as always. Don't forget to leave feedback or anything, it means a lot and LOVE YOU ALL

Saturday was the best day, in your opinion. No work, stress-free and more time with your dear, Suna. The sun was peeking through the cream-colored curtain of the bedroom. Legs tangling with each other, soft snores resonating throughout the room. Y/N being the first one to get up as usual. Admiring the soft features of Suna, knowing the tiredness of his body practicing all week. Worrying for his health and distracted with their thoughts not noticing Suna waking up.

Startled at the sudden contact, bringing back to reality noticing he finally woke up. Immediately smiling down at him, Sunas face softened, with a whispered greeting of good morning to each other, Suna snaking his hands on their waist then bringing his face on the crook of their necks, just after kissing their side of the jaw, enjoying the peaceful morning.

As both decided it was time to get up, then proceeded to prepare for breakfast. It was as if time was being nice to them bringing them as slow and needed morning just for the two of them.The sound of oil sizzling, the smell of eggs being cooked, orange juice being poured, and the click of the rice cooker.

With music in the background, both of them continue to sing-a-along with their fave music playlist. When suddenly, Y/N wrapped their arms around who was cooking eggs.

As a new song play, and might I say one of their favorites at the moment, singing along to the lyrics. A few seconds later, their awaited chorus plays, it goes “Boy, you write your name, I can do the same. Ooh, I love the taste, la-la-la-la”. When Suna suddenly inserted “Then why don’t you write but instead, with your name and my last name on it” with a smug looking back at them.

Shock at those words, immediately hiding their face on his neck, ashamed of their noticeably-red face. Suna then proceeded “I’m serious, I’ve been thinking of this for a long time now and I think its the perfect moment”. Looking up at him, grin on their face “ Are you serious, Rin? Like for real?” replying back to him. Suna then answered back “ Why would I joke about this?” truly looking serious.

With a smile reaching their eyes, crescent eyes looking up at him” If that’s how you ask me to marry then yes, yes I will”.

Overjoyed by their response, Suna can;’t but let go at what he was cooking, holding both of their faces, lips meeting together both were smiling as they did it. Stopping for a moment to catch their breath,” I really want you to kiss me more, but the egg is burning, Rin''. Looking back at it, Suna immediately attends to it, laughing behind him, Y/N then proceeding making fun of him.

All in all, their day was spent with too much laughter and celebrating as a newly engaged couple. It might not be romantic as he wanted but at least they are happy and have said yes to his most awaited question.

#suna x reader #suna rintaro fluff #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #suna x you #suna x y/n #suna rintarou x reader #suna fluff #suna imagine

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ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff · 4 years

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Goodnight, Aaron (Aaron Hotchner x OC) Chapter 1

Summary: After an informal interview, Hotch is surprised to find himself inviting his son’s potential nanny - a complete stranger - over to his home for a visit.

AN: Thank you for the love on the prologue! My niche lil series is thriving because of it <3

The instrument Sebastian has in his bag is a venu. It is a flute made of bamboo, used in Indian music.

Sebastian is half Indian on his mother's side - his father's ethnicity isn't disclosed in this story. While I have researched and included parts of his heritage in his character and the story, I'm not going to write about being a POC or being raised a Muslim because that's not my story to tell.

If you are a POC or a Muslim, and you have any advice for me on including his ethnicity as part of the story without speaking over POC voices or perpetuating harmful stereotypes, I would greatly appreciate it.

Tagging: @sunlight-moonrise, @clean-bands-dirty-stories, @genevievedarcygranger, and @davidrossi-ismydad

Prologue // Masterlist // AO3 Link // Chapter 2

“I still think I should have been there for a second opinion.”

“It was just meeting up for a discussion about what this job might entail,” Hotch sighed as Rossi pressed the button on the elevator. The doors slid closed and a jolt hit Hotch’s stomach as they began rising towards their floor.

Rossi tapped his side twice before making the leap, “So, what was he like?”

“He seemed the most genuine, if a little…” He paused, his eyebrows moving a fraction of an inch closer before settling on - “Nonchalant for an interview. But his references check out. He looked after a set of twins for seven years, and the parents were more than pleased with him.”

“He started early. Must have been like a big brother to them.”

“It was clear they mean a lot to him; he’s still buying them birthday presents.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Sebastian was dressed on the edge of smart casual to parallel Hotch’s suit: a bright patterned short-sleeved shirt plus chinos against the well-matched simple button-up and tie respectively. But it was the thick Mancunian accent that nearly tripped Hotch up when Sebastian called his name.

“Aaron Hotchner, right?”

“Yes, and you must be Sebastian. Good to meet you,” Hotch gave a polite smile and offered his hand once Sebastian had dropped his satchel and two boxes from Build-A-Bear onto his side of the booth. He gave a firm shake twice. Out of nowhere, a thought popped into Hotch’s head that his hand had gotten sweaty in the ten second interval that he had seen his interviewee.

Sebastian didn’t seem phased, smiling back as he dropped his hand, “You too.”

“Can I get you anything?”

“I’m alright, thank you.”

Both sat down in the booth of the quiet cafe Hotch had chosen to meet Sebastian at. Across the next fifteen minutes, Hotch mentally noted everything he could about the man he was interviewing behind Sebastian’s resume and references which had printed off earlier in the day.

Sebastian would always take a few seconds to process the questions. When he answered, he used his hands a lot when he spoke. Not out of nerves though. He held Aaron’s eye contact too well, alternating between both eyes and a spot in the centre of his forehead, to be anxious. As Hotch offered to show him some photos of Jack, Sebastian stood then moved next to sit beside him without hesitation. A subtle woody scent accompanied him.

“Aw yeah, little bruiser,” Sebastian said as Jack ran around the field doing the Spiderman webshooter gesture at a teammate who did the same back at him, “And good taste in superheroes too.”

And from that moment on, Sebastian talked about what Hotch wanted for Jack. He listened with constant attention as Hotch spoke. Those smiles he shared with hi,, they had no force behind them, and Hotch found himself gesturing with his hands like Sebastian – albeit on a smaller scale.

They were just getting to talk about the logistics of wages when Hotch’s phone rang out.

“Excuse me,” Hotch stood up to take a moment of privacy, “Hotchner.”

Midway through the call, he spared a glance Sebastian’s way. The man was checking in his bag for something-

Oh. A wooden flute.

It disappeared back into the bag as quickly as it had been pulled out. Hotch turned his attention back to his phone call. That too was over rather fast and he was back to the booth.

“I’m sorry to cut this short, but I’ve been called back to work.” He shook Sebastian’s hand again once he had stood up, “I’ll be in touch. Thank you for meeting me at such short notice.”

“Not a problem. Part of this job too, isn’t it?”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

“I think Jack would get on with him,” Hotch concluded.

“When do you find out if that’s true?”

“He’s coming to meet Jack this afternoon. If all goes well, then he can have a trial day. If that goes well, I’ll consider hiring him.”

“Thorough,” Rossi said just in time for the elevator doors to open.

Another good day followed – meaning it was mostly paperwork – but even with his time in his office mostly undisturbed, Hotch found himself packing several case files into his briefcase. At least he would have something to do instead of pressing his ear up against the wall to Jack’s room for the evening.

Jack charged out of the school gates, crashing into Hotch and flinging his arms around him. Hotch grunted as Jack’s P.E. kit smacked into back but it didn’t stop him from lifting his son off his feet. Those feet didn’t stop kicking, not even when Hotch lowered the volume of the Beatles’ tracks en route home. He listened dutifully while his father explained about the visitor that would be coming over that night.

“He might be around to help your Aunt Jessica look after you while I’m working.” Hotch said as they pulled into the garage, “But, if you don’t like him, we can find someone else, OK? He doesn’t have to stay.”

“OK,” Jack unclipped his seatbelt. Then he carried on talking about how his lunch break game of soccer had gone, all the way up to their apartment.

While Hotch checked on the slow cooker, Jack did his homework. He would occasionally pipe up to ask a question. Not because he didn’t know the answer, Hotch knew that, but because he enjoyed the conversations that would spawn from the homework. One such conversation was cut short at the sound of the doorbell. Jack carried on with his work, his head receiving a tussle from Hotch as he passed to get to the front door.

Waiting patiently in the hallway was Sebastian and Hotch greeted him, “Hello. Did you find us alright?”

“All good, got the third degree from your doorman about my ID though,” and Sebastian flashed the small card before pocketing it. The patterned shirt had been swapped for a muted red number but Sebastian had kept his satchel as part of his outfit. And it was then that Hotch noticed the various patches sewn onto it. Flags and symbols, likely from something Sebastian enjoyed but Hotch didn’t personally recognise any of them. It did, however, remind him a little of Penelope Garcia.

He had already taken one of his shoes off before Hotch could tell him that this was a shoes-on house, so Hotch decided to continue the small talk instead, “He’s very meticulous with his job.”

“Good,” and Sebastian spied Jack appearing around the corner, “Hey, you must be Jack. I’m Sebastian. Is it cool if we hang out for a bit while your dad works?”

Jack looked to between Hotch and Sebastian several times before he nodded.

“Jack, why don’t you show Sebastian your Lego?”

Hotch watched Jack lead Sebastian into his bedroom before he returned to his office, leaving the door ajar. Sebastian would have to walk past to make it out of the flat. Just a precaution.

Discarding his suit jacket on the back of his chair, Hotch lost himself in the slope of paperwork. His mind only strayed once when the toilet down the hall flushed. The conversation, too muffled by the walls to make out any words, became a comforting white noise.

The slowest and simultaneously fastest hour passed.

Hotch had just made a dent in his workload when he heard a shriek of laughter from Jack’s room. Clicking his pen, he abandoned his desk and crept around to the source of the noise. He could smell that the casserole was nearly done. As he peeked around the door frame to see, part of him wished he could blend into the background, just to catch more than a glimpse of what was happening.

Sebastian was lying on his back with his legs tucked into his chest and Jack astride his shins. Thankfully, Sebastian’s hands were around Jack’s middle as he pushed his legs up, and Jack’s arms were stretched up. Both were making sound effects that were fitting to the spacecraft Jack had constructed from random bricks and was currently flying over his head.

Hotch could watch Jack playing for so much longer. But he knew that he had to interrupt if he wanted him off to bed on time.

“And just what are you two doing?”

Both of their heads whipped around to see Hotch, now stood fully in view in the doorway. While Sebastian looked genuinely guilty, Jack just beamed at Hotch and waved his Lego model at him.

“Seb’s helping the spacecraft take off!”

“I see,” Hotch said, just as sternly but a smile creeping onto his lips betrayed him, “How about you go wash your hands, Jack? Dinner will be ready soon.”

Nodding eagerly, Jack dismounted his steed and a dishevelled Sebastian got to his feet.

“I’ll catch you later then, Jack. How do you prefer to say goodbye? High five?”

Jack opted to slap his palm against Sebastian’s then ran off to the bathroom. Both Hotch and Sebastian watched him go. When the door was safely closed, Hotch turned back to his interviewee.

“He’s crackin’,” Sebastian said, letting out an awkward laugh as he finished adjusting his hair.

He looked as pleasantly surprised as Hotch was when he offered a trial day with Jack. Trusting his gut, that’s what Hotch was doing. His gut was seldom wrong, and his gut told him that Jack getting along with Sebastian more in an hour than he had with his grandfather for years meant something was going right for them.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x oc #aaron hotchner fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #series #my writing #r: male #goodnight aaron #wc: 1k+

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purplepints · 4 years

Note

I know you're no expert but I need to hear your opinion anyhow, bc I'm worried after I read what you added to the post about covid. So, if everyone would wear a mask and keep their distance and the shops had am OK to good ventilation system it wouldn't be too dangerous to go out to buy something, right? In Germany they claim its one of the saver activities. We have our second lockdown right now and they listed private parties and gatherings as home as the #1, workplaces as #2 reasons the infections are rising. Bars/Restaurants and general Shopping Industries weren't the cause. But with aerosols being the main carrier, wouldn't that be false? I'm just a bit confused and worried that I'm putting myself in too much danger if I were to go out on Saturday now.

Masking, distancing, good ventilation are the magic trio. I still go to the grocery, myself. The stuff indoors is more risky when you're around unmasked people/smaller areas for longer durations. People feel safe at home and safe with their friends/family, so they're overlooking or just fed up with not being able to get together and will say "yeah, but it's my sister I know she's fine" without actually knowing if their sister (or those around her!) has been masking, following protocols, attending other houseparties, etc. Those can be avoided by just not attending and not allowing gatherings in your home. Regular grocery shopping doesn't usually involve much talking, or much time or interaction especially if you're goal oriented rather than rambling around the aisles.

We have not been to anyone's home or had anyone but ourselves inside our home since the beginning of March and with a couple of exceptions (no contact pickup of a couple of letgo items, a wood salvage lot) have only gone out for doctor appointments, groceries and the animal crematory due to our cat dying unexpectedly last month. We've known it's airborne since the start, and have treated it as such in our dealings with the outside. Other people refused to believe that, or scoffed at certain things being risky, and that see-sawing leads us to still having problems today. It has been transmissible in this same form since it all started, so the info isn't false, it's just that people focused more on droplets.

As far as what I do: My trips since March (when my area started protocol & work from stuff) have been fewer all around. I'm lucky enough to have a chest freezer and a good amount of space to keep stuff on-hand & reduce going out, but I think some of the best things to do (beyond precautions) to take a good inventory of what you have, be very thorough while writing your shopping list and try to consolidate to as few places as possible.

I write my list as a map once I determine what I need, because I know the layout of the store I go to. That way, I can make a clean circuit in the fewest aisles. I also know how to bake and love my slow-cooker, so not only am I not stuck in a "omg they are out of X thing" situation, I can substitute things without a lot of worry. I can make several meals to have ready in case I have anxiety or low energy days (which helps me not get super frustrated or wound up in my own head about stuff).

If you've felt relatively safe before at your stores, those stores are still maintaining protocols and have been remaining diligent about your own masking/measures, then you're in the same place you were before even if it doesn't feel like it. It's extra frustrating because we'd all like to be doing normal things without these additional measures, but the important thing is to be as responsible in your own actions and with your own planning as you can.

I'm behaving the exact same way I have been since March and don't feel I could do much more beyond that. No restaurants, no movies, no group activities, limited store runs, constant diligence on all measures. I think that if you're doing the same, you'll still be okay. ❤

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dettiot · 4 years

Text

News of the Galaxy 1

The most popular morning show in the galaxy in the years before the Clone Wars was Rotation, hosted from a Coruscant studio by K’Tee Griff, a wine-drinking red-skinned Twi’lek and HD-KTB, an entertainment droid widely seen as missing a few circuits.

On one particular morning, the show went even more out of the hyperlane than normal. Enjoy this clip to see what happened . . .

K’Tee Griff: [smiles widely yet falsely as the audience applauds] Good morning, good morning! [takes a large swallow from her wine glass and twitches her lekku]

HD-KTB: Was your evening enjoyable?

K’Tee Griff: It was! I went to the Coruscant Symphony--such a good performance, even though Mon Cal music is not to my taste--and you’ll never guess who I ran into!

HD-KTB: That is correct. I will never guess.

K’Tee Griff: [rolls her eyes]

Audience: [laughs]

K’Tee Griff: I ran into this morning’s guest!

HD-KTB: You saw Chef Connie? Did she have her recipe for time-saving meals using your slow-cooker unit?

K’Tee Griff: [tops off her glass] No . . . I saw Duchess Satine Kryze!

Audience: [ooohs and aaahs as a holo-image of a regally-dressed Satine is displayed]

HD-KTB: Satine Kryze of Clan Kryze, Duchess of Mandalore. A pacifist who seeks a new path for Mandalore. Which I do not understand, since changing the orbit of any planet would be very dangerous.

K’Tee Griff: She is so pretty, isn’t she, everyone?

Audience: [applauds, with a few hoots of admiration]

HD-KTB: Her face is very symmetrical. Her lips are too thin to make her face be considered beautiful, however.

K’Tee Griff: Well, let me tell you--the young man with the Duchess sure didn’t seem to think her lips were too thin!

Audience: [lets out an oooooooh]

HD-KTB: Does he think they are too thick? That does not seem likely.

K’Tee Griff: [makes a gesture and the holo-image changes to a candid shot of Satine, dressed in a gown with lilies in her hair, accompanied by a young man with ginger hair and a wiry build]

HD-KTB: We cannot see the man’s face. We do not know if he likes the Duchess’s face.

K’Tee Griff: Trust me, our mystery man likes the Duchess. And she likes him.

HD-KTB: That is good. The Duchess’s duty is to have an heir.

K’Tee Griff: Now, now, HD, you know times have changed. Women don’t have to have children.

HD-KTB: But . . . women are programmed to have children. How can a woman thwart her programming like that?

K’Tee Griff: Let’s find out what the Duchess has to say about that! We’ll have our conversation with Satine Kryze right after these messages!

Audience: [applauds as the show returns from its commercial break]

K’Tee Griff: [puts down her wine glass and licks her lips] Let’s bring out our very special guest: Duchess Satine Kryze!

Audience: [applauds and cheers as Satine steps out, wearing a deep blue dress and an elaborate headdress]

Satine: [takes her seat next to K’Tee and HD and waves a little to the crowd] Good morning. Thank you for having me.

HD-KTB: Welcome to Rotation, Duchess. It must be nice to be away from uncivilized Mandalore.

Satine: Of course I enjoy visiting Coruscant, but Mandalore is far from uncivilized.

K’Tee Griff: Oh, never mind HD. Tell us alllllllllll about that young man you were with last night!

Audience: [oooohs]

Satine: [blinks] [eyes flick over towards the side of the studio, where the same wiry, ginger-haired man from the holo-image is standing] Oh, that young man? Just a bodyguard.

HD-KTB: From how he is watching you, he is guarding your body very well.

K’Tee Griff: [smirks] Very well indeed.

Satine: While Mandalorians are quite civilized, we are also a passionate people with very strong opinions about our traditions and way of life. Unfortunately, some of my people disagree with my opinions, requiring me to have protection. I’m very fortunate to have such fine protectors.

HD-KTB: Do you intend to have children with him? It is your duty, to reproduce. And your function.

Satine: [looks at HD-KTB with a frosty look]

K’Tee Griff: Duchess, can you tell me who you were wearing last night? [waves her arm wildly to get the holo-image from before to come back up]

Satine: [keeps frowning] A Mandalorian designer, Wren. She’s very talented.

K’Tee Griff: Sooo talented. Now, what brings you to Coruscant?

Satine: As you know, the Senate is debating a bill to provide aid to Mandalore, and I’m here on Coruscant to follow the bill’s progress.

K’Tee Griff: But you’re making time for yourself--that’s so smart. [looks out at the audience] Don’t forget, it’s Self-Care Week here at Rotation!

HD-KTB: Does your bodyguard also provide self-care for you, Duchess?

Camera: [cuts to bodyguard, who is nearly as red as his hair]

Audience: [lets out some whoops]

Satine: [through gritted teeth] Then it wouldn’t be self-care, would it?

K’Tee Griff: Duchess, why don’t you bring your bodyguard out to join us?

Satine: No, that wouldn’t be appropriate--

K’Tee Griff: Oh, c’mon, Duchess!

Audience: [applauds in encouragement]

Satine: No! [stands up from her chair and storms off, the camera following her out of the studio, her microphone still active]

Bodyguard: Satine--

Satine: No, Obi, no! I will not sit there and smile and act like a fool for the sake of viewers of such a superficial, vacuous show!

Bodyguard: Satine, please.

Camera: [catches how the Duchess goes still, then slowly turns to look at her bodyguard]

Bodyguard: [voice muffled] You know you can handle those women with one arm tied behind your back.

Satine: Only one’s a woman. And I’m not even sure about the Twi’lek.

Bodyguard: [lets out a soft laugh]

Camera: [shows a soft smile appear on the Duchess’s face, then she turns and walks back onto the set]

Satine: I apologize. That was very rude of me. It appears I haven’t been taking as much time for self-care as I thought. Please, allow me to share with your audience my advice.

K’Tee Griff: Thank you, Duchess! [claps over-eagerly]

HD-KTB: [claps, her hands making a loud metallic noise] I am not a woman!

K’Tee Griff: We’ll have the Duchess’s self-care tips right after this! [chugs her glass of wine]

End.

#obitine #obi-wan kenobi #satine kryze #star wars #news of the galaxy

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years

Text

I'VE BEEN PONDERING OPPORTUNITY

So choose your users carefully, and be slow to grow their number. You can measure this fear in how much less risk VCs are willing to take. But there will be a lot of developers feel this way: One emotion is I'm not really proud about what's in the App Store approval process is broken.1 If you run out of garages.2 And that's what the malaise one feels in high school we'd have called its outline. I suspect if you had the sixteen year old Shakespeare or Einstein in school with you, they'd seem impressive, but not meanness. Most don't try to act tough with them unless you really are the next Google and dream of buying islands; the next, we'd be pondering how to let our loved ones know of our utter failure; and on and on.3

Just keep playing.4 Surely it meant nothing to get a job. The books the professors wrote about expert systems are now ignored. No one knows who said never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence, but it could be a 10x return for an angel, and moreover one that's focused on experimenting with language design, not performance. It's hard to think of your initial version not as a product, launch it with great publicity, and immediately they hope have a large user base.5 VCs will only invest in you if you start to get lots of attention. Fouls happen. It meant one could expect future high paying jobs.6 Probably it's simply that stupidity more often takes the form of having few ideas than wrong ones. All you have to do whatever it is eventually.

About a year ago I tried to figure out for yourself what's good. Apple I and the Apple II while working at HP, and there needs to be cut still further. So a software startup in Sweden is still at a disadvantage relative to one in the US, of ambitious people who grew the ladder under them instead of climbing it. You can just abandon that one and skip to the next sentence. There's no single solution to that. Their format is convenient, especially when you're generating code, to have operators that take any number of random factors could sink you before you can finish in a day or two, you can assume larval startups will break most of them a part time job. But the problem is lack of exposure, or whether the product's simply bad. Hard means worry: if you're not worrying that something you're making will come out badly, or that you won't be able to see that they're the sort of company that competes by litigation rather than by, say, the hundredth.7 The reason investors can get away with this is that they can watch you.

I found my stories pretty boring; what excited me was the idea of the corporate ladder was still very much alive. I was very impressed by the papers published by literary theorists were often just intellectual-sounding nonsense, and submitted it to a literary theory journal, which published it. What an opportunity, I thought; these impressive things seem easy to me; I must be pretty sharp.8 How did Apple get into this mess? I'm not saying you can get away with changing more than you think. Most companies that VCs invest in angel rounds is that they're overconfident.9 It's dangerous to design your life around getting into college.

Notes

Starting a company he really liked, but they're not ready to invest at a discount to whatever the valuation of the work of selection. They thought most programming would be a trivial enhancement of HTTP, to pretend that the worm infected, because any VC would think twice before crossing him. There are titles between associate and partner, including principal and venture partner. I wonder if that got bootstrapped with consulting.

But no planes crash if your school, because any VC would think Y Combinator in particular, because they could bring no assets with them in advance that you can't, notably ineptitude and bad outcomes have origins in words about luck. But if idea clashes became common enough, the higher the walls become. The second assumption I made because the money invested in a startup we had high hopes for doesn't do well, so we also give any startup that wants to the same. Founders also worry that taking an angel investment from a company's revenues as the cause.

It's surprising how small a problem into your head. 16%.

There is nothing you can imagine what it would have seemed a bad idea, at one point they worried Lotus was losing its startup edge and turning into a de facto chosen by human editors.

Then when we started Viaweb, if we just implemented it ourselves, so we hacked together our own, like warehouses.

Put rice in rice cooker, if you sort investors by benevolence you've also sorted them by the high score thrown out seemed the more thoughtful people start to leave. The continuing popularity of religion is the most successful startups, but I know it's a collection of specious beliefs about its intrinsic qualities.

But that was mistaken, and I had a contest to describe what they said.

Whereas many of the crown, and especially for opinions not expressed in it. Starting a company. They could make it sound. Many people feel confused and depressed in their graves at that game.

Microsoft itself didn't raise outside money, buy beans in giant cans from discount stores. Though they are not in the world, and suddenly they need to learn to acknowledge it. I realized the other side of making a good problem to have been sitting in their standards that they're starting petitions to save the old car they had to both left and right. This seems unlikely that religion will be coordinating efforts among partners.

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glowloading346 · 3 years

Text

Phpstorm Slow

Once upon a time, PhpStorm was the IDE I loved. I thought I would use it all my life, happily without looking at any other editor.

Phpstorm Slow Cooker

Phpstorm Slow Ftp

Phpstorm Show Main Menu

Phpstorm Slow Startup

I was wrong.

I discovered the true love of my live, called Vim.

Are you confused? Are you yelling “why” to the deaf sky? What happened between PhpStorm and me? Why a PHP developer would use this… old smelly thing called Vim?

Phpstorm does a very good job of saving, importing, exporting settings so upgrading your Phpstorm version doesn't require you to redo all your settings. This is also beneficial if you are setting up Phpstorm on another computer or sharing your company coding style guide with other developers. Now you will be working with the terminal - you can use Window's cmd or the PHPStorm's terminal. I prefer to use the terminal built inside the PHPStorm - it is: better, faster and more intuitive. I prefer to use the terminal built inside the PHPStorm - it is: better, faster and more intuitive.

I was happy with PhpStorm. We had a productive relationship. Its basic rules was simple, as simple as many text editor in the computing world. You use a mouse, you click where you want to change or add something, somewhere. The basic editor. We are all used to that from the beginning of times!

PhpStorm provides the following main ways to upload project files and folders to deployment servers: Manually, at any time through a menu command. Automatically, every time a file is updated, or before starting a debugging session, or during a commit to your version control system. PHPStorm was and now is very slow under Linux (currently am using version 2016.2). All its versions were slow. Even at powerful computers with SSD. Jamming and sticking is a normal behavior for this program. It's a pity that authors do not pay attention to it. Running PHP storm on windows 10 is incredible slow. I'm running PHPstorm on my windows 10 laptop, where it is extremly slow. I made a screenshot showing the about information. I have a 64bit so I'm correct running phpstorm64.exe for this. During work I'm also using phpstorm on an.unix system, which is great. So I thought about buying a private license for me at home, but with the given performance I really cant work.

I loved the auto completion with PhpStorm! I loved the fact that you could find easily a peculiar file even within a massive codebase. I loved its stability. I liked the snippets. I loved its numerous options to refactor, generate getter / properties / methods using one or two handy shortcuts.

And now, I don’t use it anymore.

Firstly, I want to tell you my story with Vim and PhpStorm in order for you to understand how you can switch between the two.

Then I will compare the two and underline what Vim brings on the table.

Vim: the Hate before the Love

It was a newcomer who first showed me Vim.

He was a PHP developer hired in the company I was working for. I was curious, I began to look what tools and IDE he was using, expecting seeing the good old PhpStorm, like every good PHP developer who suffered too much with Eclipse.

“I don’t use PhpStorm” said the newcomer. “Vim is way better!”.

Vim! This dinosaur! This boring terminal editor! So complex nobody knows how to use it, except the perfect nerd without life / girlfriend / whatever real things!How can he compares the wonderful shiny PhpStorm with this relic?

At that point, I went in a crusade. I tried to show him how a good IDE with tons of features could suit his needs even better than this… Vim thing! Without success, I let him swimming in his ocean of mistakes, sad he couldn’t see the Truth as I was.

Time past. Days became years. Years became centuries. I began to understand that this newcomer was a very interested and knowledgeable developer. It astonished me. How can he be that good and use Vim?

Quickly we began to work on the same project: a tandem was born.

The Time of Mockeries

I mocked my work tandem. A lot. He was persisting in his mistake to use Vim and I couldn’t do anything to dissuade him.

I mocked the austerity of Vim’s interface. I mocked the fact that he had to configure everything in config files. I mocked that this configuration (in my opinion) was always broken. Who wants to code with a broken IDE? It was pure nonsense.

With hindsight, I may have been a bit jealous. He mastered a tool full of shortcuts in order to use the mouse as less as he can, and, without knowing it, I envied him.I envied him because I didn’t feel capable to learn how to use Vim in a reasonable amount of time.

More and more, my contempt toward Vim let place to curiosity.

PhpStorm and Me: the Breakdown

My attraction and curiosity toward Vim kept growing and growing.

The hate became love when I decided two things:

Quitting the company I was working in.

Learning to type like true crazy typists.

I wasn’t happy at that time, till I decided to quit the company I was working for. My decision opened new horizons and a true desire to learn more about everything.Moreover, I wanted to learn a maximum from my fellow work tandem before leaving for new and crazy adventures.

I wanted at the same moment to get rid of my very bad habit of typing with two or three fingers. I wanted to use typists techniques: using the home row keys and my ten fingers.

Quickly I began to understand the power of this typing method. You feel definitely faster and more in control of your computer. A very cool sensation!I knew as well that Vim was designed for this type of typing. Due to the pleasure I had with my new typing techniques, I slowly decided to give Vim a chance.

More and more, I asked tips to my tandem in order to learn how to use The Beast. At first, I just wanted to use it for editing configuration or text files, not for actually coding, too afraid that it would put down my productivity.

I stopped using PhpStorm in two weeks. Transfer from bitpay to coinbase.

Vim vs PhpStorm

Vim on the left, PhpStorm on the right. The clash.

Here we are finally: the comparison between PhpStorm and Vim. Do you want to replace PhpStorm with something more powerful and versatile? Do you want to be sure that Vim is the good choice?

I won’t cover here how to do a PHP IDE out of Vim since I wrote another article on the topic.

Who’s in Charge: You or Your IDE?

An IDE is obviously very important for developers. It’s the tool which helps us doing what we like: coding. It simplifies our lives, automatize all these boring stuff you repeat over and over again.

Therefore your IDE should reflect the way you are coding. It should give you the choice for you to do what you want, the way you want.

PhpStorm doesn’t really give you many choices: it is a bunch of tools and you have to stick with them.I never used 70% of it. I know a lot of shortcuts and I am able to navigates in the panels without even using the mouse. However I never used the composer tools / terminal / git GUI / database interface thingy integrated in PhpStorm.

I couldn’t configure that. I couldn’t choose to install what I wanted, what I needed. PhpStorm was choosing for me.

The result? Many panels and notifications popping, a lot of visual noise which was totally useless for me. Perfect to lose focus.

Some may argue that PhpStorm is really configurable compared to other IDE. It is nothing compared to Vim.

Vim has a great community who develop a LOT of plugin. Nowadays you can install them and get rid of them by typing two words. Not even command lines. Words.

You can choose exactly what you want and what suits you. You can even modify it easily and extends it. Vim can be bent following your wishes.

You are the master.

PhpStorm Only Allow You to Code in… PHP

Another point which was bothering me for a long time. Of course you can use it to write HTML / CSS but you won’t have many tools for those. And what about Go you want to learn so hardly? Ruby? Basic?

Vim is an editor, not an IDE, but you can make an IDE out of it for every language you want. Right now, I have very good auto completion systems for PHP, JavaScript, Go and Ruby.

Even better: the plugins can be activated depending of the file type you are editing. You will never have the Ruby autocompletion while editing a PHP file. Sweet, isn’t it?

I have tons of plugins for refactoring, creating snippets and so on. No need to change IDE and get use to different interfaces. With Vim I can switch from one language to another transparently. Believe me, it’s awesome.

When I open Vim, everything I need is there for whatever language.

Vim is Light

Each time I open PhpStorm I have the impress that my computer is running a marathon. And he doesn’t do well.

Even on my very lightweight arch linux / i3 system (running on very good hardware), everything suddenly slow down. Welcome to the Matrix, or the stop motion applied to computing!

Sometimes I like to open two projects at the same time to get some configuration or code from one to another. Sometimes I want to open even more if I need to work with multiple micro services.

With PhpStorm… you know what I am talking about. Your memory scream, your CPU burns some calories, your vans consume more electricity than your fridge.

In comparison, Vim is a feather. So light! You can run multiple instances of it if you want, your computer won’t slow down.Try to use Vim, then come back to PhpStorm and you will see what I’m talking about.

Your hardware will love Vim.

Vim is Fun

This is something I didn’t imagine: Vim is really fun to use. This is something my work tandem told me, and it’s so true: it’s basically the gamification of coding.

It is time to precise a bit how to use it. There are many modes in this editor:

The Normal mode is for executing commands (delete words, lines, paragraphs and a lot of others). Basically, it’s to edit your text (or code).

The insert mode is there for you to concretely write.

A simple separation of concern and, believe me, it’s brilliant!

This is Vim: you can learn to be productive with it in a couple of minutes (I promise). Get used to it may take a bit more time, and then you will learn new stuff all your life. The whole editor feel so logical that you will come up with new way to do things without even asking Google. Yes, by yourself, only!

Like: “Maybe if I press those keys, it will do that eventually. Yes it does! I’m a genius!”

Indeed, Vim is so sweet, you can talk to it like an old friend. For example: you want to delete all characters from your cursor till the coma? In Normal mode, type dt,, which means delete till ,. You can do as well dtf, which delete till f. Magical!

In comparison, PhpStorm is boring. To me, 70% of the tools are useless (by adding a useless graphical interface on top on very efficient terminal tools) and the editor itself use the mouse extensively, like 99% of the editors in the world.If shortcuts were invented, it’s because it’s more convenient and fast to use the keyboard to execute actions. Vim definitely nailed that.

If you want to build a complete Mouseless Development Environment, you might be interested by this book.

To be honest with you, I always have the impression I’m some sort of a hacker doing crazy things with my keyboard in three different Vim instances. Of course I am just writing down my shopping list but… who cares? The feeling is great!

I am always happy when I discover a new shortcut or way to do thing even more easily. It’s like finding a secret way to beat a video game even faster! Gamification, I tell you.

PhpStorm Cost Money

PhpStorm is not free, far from it. Even if it’s pretty affordable (around 100euro), you pay only for one year. Welcome to the era of renting instead of acquiring…

If you want a Go, Ruby or whatever IDE for whatever language, you have to pay. Again.

Vim is free, available on everything (linux, windows, mac).

You Might be Faster with Vim…

Honestly I don’t care that much if I’m faster with it. To me, being fast doesn’t mean being a good developer. Our brain is more valuable than our typing speed.

However you will feel fast and precise, which is a good cherry on the cake. Adblock plus google chrome. Especially when you have to move a bunch of classes and renaming namespaces again and again. You know, what we call refactoring: Vim can simplify that and many other things.

Vim Allow You to do More than PhpStorm

Here some examples what you can do with Vim but not with PhpStorm:

You can search through open tabs (“buffers” in Vim), files and entire projects very fast with the fzf plugin. Even faster than with PhpStorm.

You can go directly to php.net with a keystroke when you are on a method / function / whatever to see its definition. Very handy.

You can run Vim with a GUI or in the terminal. Doing the last will open a lot of possibility like the winning combo zsh / tmux / Vim. You will have a lot of flexibility and fun with those tools, I can guarantee it!

Since a tonne of plugins exist for Vim you can extend the possibilities as you wish. You can even write little functions which extend / alter whatever you want.

The possibilities are infinite.

A Great Community

A lot of people use Vim and will be happy to help you. You have access to a lot of plugins for every development language you dream of.

Some will argue (as I did) than Vim is too old. It is a strength! Think about it: what software is more stable than the one tested for decades?

It is very stable indeed, thanks to the community. If you are stuck, if you have a problem, you have tons of resources where you can found the solution.

Neovim!

Vim is old and maintained for a long long time, which means as well that its codebase is (apparently) not-that-goodish.That is why a bunch of people rewrote the whole editor. It’s called Neovim and it’s compatible with every Vim plugin available.

Even if it’s still in beta I didn’t have any issues with it. It works like a charm.

I want to be in love with Vim! Tell me how!

First you need to be motivated and learn how to properly use it. It is less complicated than you think.

You Work on Linux or macOs? Try Vimtutor!

First, go to your terminal.Then type vimtutor. Press enter.Here we are!

Vimtutor comes with a lot of linux-based distribution. It is a 15 minutes tutorial for you to learn Vim’s basics. After that, you can begin to use Vim for whatever need you have.

15 minutes! Who said that Vim was complicated?

You don’t believe me? Just try it!

Get Inspired by Other’s Configurations

Vim alone is a bit… too weak functionality wise. You need plugins, and the best way to find what you need is to look to configurations from other developers.They are most of the time hosted publicly on github.

Here my personnal config.

Be careful though. It is tempting to copy entire configuration from others but you will be lost very quickly. Vim needs to be personalized. It can suits you if you take the time to tune it depending on your needs.

Take the configurations available on the web as inspirations. Copy them little by little, plugin by plugin. Test it, try to understand what the plugin is doing. Take your time. Read the plugin documentations. In short: do everything with Vim you should do as a developer. Analyzing, acting step by step and see if it suits your need.

Vim Cheat Sheet

My advice for the beginning: having a cheat sheet printed you can refer to. You can find a lot of them everywhere.

It will help you memorising the basics of Vim and experimenting to be more effective and have even more fun!

Vim is a Winner! But… Do I Miss PhpStorm?

I hope you are now ready to try Vim, and maybe replace PhpStorm!

Now let be honest with one another:

Yes PhpStorm has some tool that Vim doesn’t. The search plugin I use for example has less options than PhpStorm’s search… but is so faster, you’ve no idea.

In PhpStorm the auto completion was slightly better… in 2017. In 2019, Vim auto completion plugins are as good as any IntelliJ plugin.

You need to spend time configuring Vim to have a powerful PHP IDE.However, it means as well that you can personalize it the way you exactly want it to behave. An IDE should answers your need, not imposing them!

After three weeks using Vim as my PHP IDE, I tried to reinstall PhpStorm. I used it for ten minutes… before coming back to Vim.

I won’t get back to you, PhpStorm. Never. Bartender for wedding near me. I am a faithful man to Vim now.

This section provides the list of solutions and workarounds for common problems with deployments in PhpStorm.

Collecting PhpStorm deployment logs

If your issue is not addressed in this section, contact our support engineers. If asked to provide deployment logs, follow the instructions to collect them.

Select Help | Configure Debug Log in the main menu.

In the Custom Debug Log Configuration dialog that opens, add the following lines depending on the issues you are experiencing:

Issues with deployment/synchronization: #com.jetbrains.plugins.webDeployment

Issues with issues with SSH/SFTP: #com.intellij.ssh

Click OK and reproduce the issue.

Locate the log file by selecting Help | Show Log in Explorer (for Windows and Linux) or Help | Show Log in Finder (for macOS).

If necessary, you can locate the log manually:

Syntax

%HOMEPATH%.<product><version>systemlog

Example

C:UsersJohnS.PhpStorm2021.1systemlog

Syntax

~/Library/Logs/<product><version>

Example

~/Library/Logs/PhpStorm2021.1

Syntax

~/.<product><version>/system/log

Example

~/.PhpStorm2021.1/system/log

The most recent log file is named idea.log; older files names end with a number, that is idea.log.1, idea.log.2, and so on. In most cases you need only the most recent one.

Attach the log file(s) to the issue or forum thread.

General troubleshooting

Deployment is slow or fails

Deployment can be a resource-intensive operation, especially if a project or a deployment server contains lots of directories and files. In the Settings/Preferences dialog Ctrl+Alt+S, navigate to Build, Execution, Deployment and explore the following configuration options, which can speed up deployment:

Exclude directories that are not needed from deployment (for example, images). This can be done from the Deployment: Excluded Paths Tab page.

On the Options page, clear the Overwrite up-to-date files to skip uploading files that don't need to be uploaded.

Depending on the server, switching between active and passive transfer mode in the advanced FTP settings may help. This can be done by toggling Passive mode in the Deployment: Connection Tab for the server.

Limit number of concurrent FTP connections. This can be done by toggling Limit concurrent connections and setting the number of connections (usually 3-5 concurrent connections is OK for any server if you experience problems with a greater number of connections) in the Deployment: Connection Tab for the server.

File transfer becomes unresponsive

This can happen in case PhpStorm tries to resolve an IPv4 host via IPv6. By default, PhpStorm only listens for incoming IPv4 connections. To make sure IPv6 is disabled, check the PhpStorm JVM options:

Select Help | Edit Custom VM Options from the main menu.

In the .vmoptions file that opens, make sure the -Djava.net.preferIPv4Stack=true line is present.

Restart PhpStorm.

Otherwise, to enable IPv6 support, delete the -Djava.net.preferIPv4Stack=true line. In this case, make sure to add the IPv6 entry for your host to the /etc/hosts file.

Download/upload actions are not available

Download/upload actions may not be available because of a missing mapping. If a file or folder that you want to download is not configured in any mapping, PhpStorm will not download it. Mappings can be configured as described in the Map project folders to folders on the server and the URL addresses to access them.

For some actions, a default deployment server needs to be selected on the Deployment page of the Settings/Preferences dialog.

Some folders are not deployed

A common cause for folders not being deployed is when they are explicitly excluded. To solve this, in the Remote host tool window right-click the given folder and select Remove Path From Excluded from the context menu. Once this is done, the folder will be deployed.

This can also be configured from the Deployment page of the Settings/Preferences dialog Ctrl+Alt+S. Open the Excluded Paths tab for the server and remove the excluded path. Note that both the source and the target folders should be checked. Folders can also be excluded by name on the Options page under Exclude items by name.

Sharing deployment configurations between projects

Deployment Servers are configured at the IDE level: they are available for all projects and can be shared between them.

Note that only the name and connection details (specified on the Deployment: Connection Tab tab) are shared between projects: mappings and excluded paths are project-specific and have to be configured separately. Using this approach, connection details have to be entered just once, while mappings and excluded paths can be configured per-project, sharing the connection details. This can be useful when projects share the same deployment server and use the same connection settings. If connection settings are different between projects, they have to be configured for every project separately.

If necessary, you can set a server to be visible in a single project by selecting the Visible only for this project checkbox on the Deployment: Connection Tab.

IDE settings do not allow me to configure mappings

The default new project settings are used to configure the default settings for new projects and do not affect the currently opened projects. To configure settings for the current project, use the Settings/Preferences dialog Ctrl+Alt+S.

Can subfolders within the same folder have different deployment settings? Can a local folder be deployed to multiple locations?

When uploading folders and configuring mappings, note the following:

You can specify mappings for specific folders to different paths on the deployment server. This can be configured on the Deployment: Mappings Tab for the server.

You can exclude specific folders and files from being uploaded/downloaded. This can be configured on the Deployment: Excluded Paths Tab for the server.

You cannot upload the same folder (or subfolders) to different sites at once. A separate deployment configuration needs to be created for each of them and uploaded to each site one by one.

If this is what you want to do, we recommend automating the process with a capable tool. For example, Phing has an FTP task which can be used from PhpStorm. Within PhpStorm, you can use the Sync with Deployed.. command and select from available deployment servers for every upload.

I cannot assign a keyboard shortcut to the Sync With Deployed to My Server menu item

It is not possible to assign a keyboard shortcut directly to the Sync With Deployed to <server name> command, only to the generic Sync with Deployed to.. command, which will then display a popup menu with the list of servers. Refer to Configure keyboard shortcuts for details.

If you do wish to assign a keyboard shortcut to a specific deployment server, it is possible to record a Macro and assign a shortcut to it instead:

Select Edit | Macros | Start Macro Recording and start recording a Macro.

Select Tools | Deployment | Sync With Deployed to <server name> and close the sync window.

Stop recording the Macro by selecting Edit | Macros | Stop Macro Recording from the main menu.

Set the Macro name, for example Sync with <server name>.

Open in the Settings/Preferences dialog Ctrl+Alt+S, select Keymap and find the Macros node. From the context menu of the new sync Macro that was just recorded, select Add keyboard shortcut and provide the desired shortcut .

How do I deploy a database using PhpStorm?

There are a couple of ways to deploy a database using PhpStorm:

Make use of the integrated database tools and run the required DDL and SQL statements manually.

Work with Phing and set up a DBDeploy task.

Can I run a script or executable on my files before the upload occurs?

Things like minifying CSS, optimizing images, encoding PHP files using IonCube and so on are actions that you may want to execute before an upload happens. The best approach to do this is run them not when the upload is started, but when the files are changed, by using File watchers in PhpStorm. When the time comes to upload them to a deployment server, upload the processed files instead.

Note that the Skip external changes checkbox must be cleared on the Options page for this to work.

Sometimes files are not uploaded automatically

By default, PhpStorm uploads the files if they are changed by some external processes (VCS, transpilers, and so on). If the files are not uploaded, make sure that the Upload changed files automatically to the default server on the Options page is set to Always and the Skip external changes checkbox is cleared.

Can I run pre- and post-deployment actions?

It's possible using Run/Debug configurations. You can create a fake Run/Debug Configuration, or a Run/Debug configuration that should be the last step, and add the required steps under Before launch.

As an alternative, we recommend using Phing or any other build system to execute complex sequences of steps.

FTP troubleshooting

FTP issue: Invalid descendent file name 'http:'

When a deployment server has been configured or when using the Test Connection button in the project settings, the Invalid descendent file name 'http:' error is displayed. Note that all file names with a colon : in the name will be considered invalid.

This can happen if a file containing http: Pioneer desserts. in its name exists in the project. The library that PhpStorm uses to connect to FTP (Apache Commons VFS) cannot read the contents of a folder containing such a file, which causes the operation to fail. The only solution is to remove the file containing http: in its name from the project.

PhpStorm seems to connect to the server but can't list files or perform upload

Phpstorm Slow Cooker

This may be because the deployment server requires a so-called passive FTP connection. To set this mode, select the Passive mode checkbox in the Deployment: Connection Tab for the selected server.

Phpstorm Slow Ftp

Limiting the number of concurrent FTP connections may also help in this situation. To do this, open the Deployment: Connection Tab for the selected server, select the Limit concurrent connections checkbox, and set the number of connections (usually, 3-5 concurrent connections is OK for any server if you experience problems with a higher number of connections).

Phpstorm Show Main Menu

Deploying files when changing branches using Git checkout

There are a couple of ways to go about deploying files when switching between branches using Git checkout:

One way is to configure deployments to always upload files and external changes. To do this, on the Options page, set Upload changed files to the default server to Always and clear the Skip external changes checkbox. Note that this will upload all files to the server when switching branches.

Use git-ftp. It performs minimal uploads and is also able to mirror file and directory removals.

Phpstorm Slow Startup

Known issues

Is rsync supported to synchronize files and folders with a deployment server?

No. If you feel this should be part of PhpStorm vote for this issue.

0 notes

the-expert-zone · 3 years

Text

Keto Zuppa Toscana Soup Recipe

Home » Keto Recipes » Keto Zuppa Toscana Soup Recipe

My Keto Zuppa Toscana Soup is a healthy version of a popular restaurant chain’s Zuppa Toscana Soup.

But, in my opinion, it tastes even better.

And it’s Keto, which means it’s good for you, too.

You won’t even miss all of the carbs with my version that is loaded with smokey bacon and flavorful Italian sausage.

And it’s so easy to make in your slow cooker.

Plus, all of the ingredients are easy to find. And you probably already have most of the ingredients already in your pantry or refrigerator!

And to make this Keto Zuppa Toscana Soup even better, you can enjoy it with Keto Dinner Rolls or Keto Soda Bread.

Or if you prefer a coup and salad combo, then check out these 37 Hearty Keto Salad Recipes to go along with the delicious soup.

Recipe Modifications and Cooking Tips

My Keto Zuppa Toscana Soup is absolutely delicious as is. But there are a few modifications you can make to suit your tastes or to accommodate the ingredients you have in your pantry or refrigerator.

You can use ground beef or ground pork and 1 Tablespoon of Italian seasoning instead of Italian sausage. Ground chicken or ground turkey is also okay to use, but the soup won’t be as flavorful since those are mild tasting meats.

You can use 1 teaspoon of granulated garlic or 3/4 teaspoon of garlic powder instead of garlic cloves. You can also use 2 teaspoons pre-minced garlic that can be purchased in many grocery stores.

You can use 1 Tablespoon of onion powder instead of the fresh onion. Shallots are also great replacements for onions.

Canned unsweetened coconut milk can be used instead of coconut cream, but the soup will not be quite as thick.

I recommend adding the optional red pepper flakes after the soup has cooked. Slow cookers can concentrate the flavors during the cooking process, which could make the soup far spicier than you might like. Of course, the red pepper flakes are optional and can be omitted if you don’t care for spicy foods.

Traditional Zuppa Toscana Soup typically includes potatoes, which are not Keto-friendly. So, if you want to still have the chunky bites without all of the carbs of potatoes, you can add cauliflower florets to the soup. Either add raw cauliflower at the beginning of the cooking time or defrosted frozen cauliflower at the end when you add the shredded kale.

Collard greens, mustard greens, and chard are great replacements to use instead of kale.

Other Keto Soup Recipes

Can’t get enough Keto soup recipes? Neither can we!

Here are some of my favorite Keto soup recipes to enjoy any time of year.

And if you are hungry for even more Keto soup recipes, here are 57 Mouthwatering Keto Soup Recipes that will keep you on track but without sacrificing any taste!

Description

Rich, creamy soup with the smoky flavors of sausage and bacon and lots of nutritious kale. And it’s dairy-free and keto-friendly as well!

Ingredients

4 slices of bacon (4 oz or 112 g), diced

1 pound (450 g) mild or spicy ground Italian sausage

1 medium onion (4 oz or 110 g), thinly sliced

6 cups (1.4 L) chicken broth or vegetable broth

2 garlic cloves, peeled and minced

1 teaspoon (1 g) red pepper flakes (or to taste, optional)

1 cup (240 ml) coconut cream (from the tops of 2 refrigerated cans of unsweetened coconut milk)

4 cups (270 g) shredded kale, stems removed

Salt and pepper, to taste

Instructions

Cook the bacon in a frying pan over medium-high heat until crispy. Remove the cooked bacon with a slotted spoon and place on a paper towel-lined plate to drain.

Add the Italian sausage and onion to the same skillet with the remaining bacon fat and cook until browned, using a wooden spoon to break into smaller pieces.

Place the cooked bacon, browned Italian sausage, onion, chicken or vegetable broth, and garlic into the slow cooker. Place the lid on the slow cooker and cook on high for 3 hours or low for 6 hours.

Add the coconut cream, chopped kale, and optional red pepper flakes to the slow cooker and simmer, uncovered, for about 10 minutes until the kale is wilted and the soup is slightly thickened. Season with salt and pepper, to taste.

Ladle the soup into bowls and serve.

Notes

All nutritional data are estimated and based on per serving amounts.

Net Carbs per serving: 6 g

Nutrition

Serving Size: ¼ recipe

Calories: 675

Sugar: 2 g

Fat: 57 g

Carbohydrates: 8 g

Fiber: 2 g

Protein: 16 g

You can click the LINK to start creating your 8-week plan. Simply follow the plan to achieve a successful keto diet.

⠀ LINK : CLICK HERE LINK :CLICK HERE

from Your Keto Plan https://ift.tt/3q1223G

#keto diet food cook cooking

0 notes

ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff · 6 years

Text

A First Date - Dunkirk Characters Preference

Requested by anon: Hey Ash, I was wondering... would it be okay to request a preference, but instead of the cast, using the characters of Dunkirk? I was thinking about them trying to ask on a first date, like who panics, who get sweaty...? If you can, you can set it in modern days, whatever is easier/ more comfortable for you, really!!

AN: I wrote about the asking and also the first date he would take you on because I’m soft

Masterlist

Alex

Alex knew you well. You’d practically grown up together, holding hands, open discussions with nothing to hide, and such support. Many times he’d often thought that you were so close it was like being in an ideal relationship – just without the romantic interest. That jinxed it because he found out that he was very much smitten with you.

By God, his palms were sweating up a storm when he decided he should tell you his feelings. The poor boy didn’t want to ruin what he had with you and he started to cry out of frustration. After some cuddles coaxing him out of his shell in the solitude of your room, Alex stumbled out with it, hiccups breaking up his speech pattern. You were also a little overwhelmed by his revelation but you simply cuddled him closer until his crying ceased. Then you agreed to go on a date with him and he started crying again as he tackled you with a hug.

When the date began at the museum (where Alex planned to go with you to see the new exhibit) he was very stiff and nervous and trying way too hard to be a sweeping gentleman on this date. It was you who put him on edge and so it had to be you who put him at ease. You acted like you normally would with him, joking about the amount of dicks on show in the art and the nonsense of cubism. Alex relaxed and you both fell into the normal routine of your friendship by the time you were in the new exhibit. He almost forgot it was a date until you kissed his cheek to which he froze and flushed at your pleasure.

Collins

He’d seen you before during his walks, looking in the far distance where coloured kites soared above the hill. They would swing about in the breeze and flourish in a rainbow of fabrics. You looked rather wistful as you watched. Collins strode home with new impulsive purpose.

Rifling through the trunk on top of his wardrobe, he found his old box kite from when he was a child, fabric fragile. Blowing the dust off it, Collins then collected his ration card and counted his points. Since it was autumn, therefore only a few months before he would receive more points, he expected that he would be fine as long as he didn’t tear any of his clothes. With those points, he purchased some polyester and spent the entire night mending his kite for he knew from the weather report that tomorrow would be the perfect day to fly it.

The next afternoon, a little tired but ready, Collins went to the park with box kite in hand. When he saw you, he tapped you on the shoulder and introduced himself. Almost instantly you pointed out the kite and that you’d seen him before – you’d spoken before at the newsagents. Nervous, he babbled away. Only when he took a breath did you respond with equal excitement to fly his kite. You both dashed to the hill and prepared to fly. Yelling “ready?”, Collins threw his kite into the air and watched its lustrous new blue catch in the wind.

He was back at your side when you gestured to your shaking hands wrestling with the string and asked him to “show you the ropes.” With that pun, Collins was head over heels for you. He stood at your side initially but then moved behind you. His hands cupped yours and guided the kite. It swooped about and you both laughed into the wind as it whipped your hair.

Farrier

You met in a dance hall where you tagged along with some friends to dance in a group as singles. But then you began to split off to dance with others and you were the first to be asked. He introduced himself as Farrier, charm masking his nerves because he asked you on a whim, spontaneity fuelled by the drinks. He was surprisingly good at dancing in spite of his alcohol consumption and proved to be a good laugh on the floor.

When he offered to walk you home at the realisation it was almost closing time, Farrier suddenly transformed into a little boy shyly offering a homemade Valentine. You thought that even more charming, watching the drink wear off and awkwardness kick in – a real character. His left thumb and forefinger pinched the right palm between them as, at your door, he asked slowly to see you, to take you on a proper date. You agreed, freeing his hand from its pinch to squeeze it in comfort before saying goodnight.

For a first date, you weren’t expecting him to take you to a show. To start with, you thought that he was just flashing the cash. But this was not the case. You sat back and enjoyed the performance about various comedic forms. As you walked out of the theatre and headed into the bar upstairs, Farrier began to discuss the show, an animated conversation which he often asked for and listened to your opinion. You realised Farrier had chosen this show because you’d spoken about comedies on the night you’d met. Relief washed over you as you engaged in conversation with him over another drink with him, smiling with him, recalling the funniest parts and snorting together.

(AN: I know this is from Child 44 but I love this gif please and thank you)

Gibson/Philippe

You worked in a grocers and Philippe was a frequent visitor. Not because he needed many items the store had to offer but because he was constantly trying to ask you out. Everytime he would go to one of the aisles to psych himself but he would then chicken out and end up buying an unnecessary vegetable without making much eye contact but with the pleasantries of his upbringing.

But one day he finally had the nerve. He waltzed into the store and stood before your counter. Before you could even get in the standard greeting, Philippe asked in a jumble (rather than a mumble) if you would join him for lunch one day, during a break or after your shift, whatever was good for you. He finished by clapping his hands once to clasp them together in silent prayer. This was not expected at all by you since this man had never said more than ten words to you but now he had more than enough tumbling out of his mouth in the most adorable way possible. You nodded, telling him your shift would end in half an hour if he wanted to go then.

Philippe ran that confidence high all the way through that half an hour and a little beyond. Returning on the dot, he showed you to his favourite café with (in his humble opinion) the best baked goods in his town. Once sat at a table, he asked how work was, the usual carbon copy small talk that he’d practised in his head. He found himself jumping between barely speaking and speaking all too much but you didn’t mind. You offered him some of your cake and even though he’d had it a million times Philippe accepted your cute offer and paid you the same respect. He felt a flutter of his heart as hummed pleasantly with eyes closed and lips shaped not in the customer service smile but this winsome close lipped beauty that he wanted to see every day.

George Mills

He would bump into you doing his paper run, leaving the house to go do your chores before school. There was always a rushed but smiling “good morning!” from you and he would have a dopey grin on his face for the next hour, making the early rise worth it everytime.

With classes separated by sex, George didn’t get to see you as often as he’d like at school. Even worse you were always with friends so he could never get you alone to ask you out. Not until one day, he was walking back and planning how he would revise that afternoon when he saw you alone, walking just twenty feet ahead. Increasing his meander to a trot, he made it to your side and said good afternoon. You responded with the same eagerness and commented how it was good to see him actual daylight for once. Your comment would allow you to see his blush. Your comment would also light the very short fuse inside George, sparking the urge to ask you out again. He straightened up and came out with it.

Now George had taken you to the penny arcade and was determined to win you something. He had an entire bag of money he’d saved up from his paper round and loose change on the street or from expenses. That weight in his pocket gradually faded, lessening as each time either of you failed to win at the machines for the entirety of the afternoon. It was with the few remaining pennies that he bought gobstoppers from the sweet shop over the road. Together, you sat with your legs dangled off the pier and worked at your gobstoppers with the sun basking in your faces. Oooing at the various coloured layers, you leant your head on his shoulder and took his free hand in your not sticky one. Let’s just say George was pleased as punch with this end.

Gif Credit

Peter Dawson

Peter was your childhood sweetheart, having sent you many scribbles of your future wedding at aged three and given you his favourite spade at five. Unlike many fickle five year olds, he never asked for it back. That meant it was true love in his opinion, an unorthodox form of proposal.

At the ripe old age of sixteen, nine years into your “relationship”, Peter decided now was a good time to take you on a first date. For some reason, he was very nervous. What if it had all been just a running joke for you? Pushing those (quite frankly, rude) thoughts from his head, he bided his time and waited for the right moment. Waiting was awful. It was like he had been put in a slow cooker to simmer in his anxieties. His palms were profusely sweating when he finally asked you after tea at your house. He had to constantly wipe his hands on his trousers and jumper. Then you stole one of his strawberries and said that you would love to.

He didn’t really know what to do, figuring the day would take you somewhere. When you reached the edge of the bay and the start of the beach, you had a brain wave. You challenged him to a sandcastle building competition with the entire beach at your disposal and the same bright yellow spade he so adored a decade earlier. Grabbing some buckets too, you competed against the ticking clock of the tide. Soon it came in and demolished half of Peter’s structure, but only one turret of yours. You cheered in success and, accepting Peter’s (surprisingly not sweaty) hand as a prize, jumped over the waves together with your trouser cuffs rolled up. Both of you still got wet and had to explain to your parents respectively what you had been up to but in that moment you didn’t care about anything and neither did Peter.

(AN: A good soft boy)

Shivering Soldier

It takes him a very long time to ask you on a date, almost too long. But he knows his priority is on getting better and in the worst days, where his self-hatred is strongest, his motivation is to become a better man who can give you, his neighbour across the hall, everything you deserve. Because you’re so sweet, checking on him and helping him out, his anchor and he appreciated everything you did. He always planned on making sure you knew that

It was a gradual realisation that he was well enough to deal with his PTSD and, after careful preparation, he went to your flat and knocked. It took a lot to ignore the doubt, the dread that maybe he should wait a little longer. But as soon as you opened the door, he was too stubborn to turn back now. He was inside and you’d just offered tea like usual. Unlike usual, he said no. Quickly, he followed on saying that he would like to take you out for tea if you would like that as well. On a date. With him. That was when the doubt of such a wonderful person settling for a sick man filled his gut. But you said yes. To his utter delight and the man felt butterflies in his stomach.

You knew what he liked – routine – so you reminded him that you were wholly happy to just spend a day in with him. He was so relieved to hear that, without reluctance or compromise. He wanted everything to be perfect and having the first date in an environment he could control was the best possible option. Once you were in, he made tea. He remembered how you liked it which you thought was quite lovely. He asked the usual questions but saw that your eyes were straying to an incomplete chess board on his coffee table. When you noticed that he saw you wandering, you moved to the opposite side of the table and challenged him to a game – something he’d spoken about often in your flat. Three games later (with two victories to you), he felt completely at ease once again but still felt the butterflies as you hugged him in farewell.

Gif Credit

Tommy

This travelling market was a pleasure in Tommy’s life. An annual tradition of which he would spend the culmination of the year’s savings, one such pleasure he kept to himself because it gave him the freedom to wander about with restraint, embarrassment or accommodation of anyone else. But it was such a lovely experience he wanted to show you.

You were a friend of a friend, someone he wouldn’t say he was close too. Not close enough to share this treasure of his yet somehow Tommy was compelled to do so. In order to achieve that, he had to make sure that you didn’t hate him. With your mutual friends in the park, you were all finishing off a game of footie before heading back to your respective homes. His path followed yours just a few streets extra. That was when, with a dry throat, he asked if you would like to accompany him to the market. You had no knowledge of such a thing which then led to a titbit of what you would see Tommy like as he explained. His restricted joy for the place was enough to convince you to join him, with the affirmation of “it’s a date” before you left him to get home.

The hint of his joyous behaviour could not compare to his completely uninhibited. Tommy looked simply at bliss when you both stepped off the bus before the entrance. Both jogging into the pathway formed by terraced stalls, he began to tell you about it. He was lost in his enthusiasm, talking a mile a minute about everything he saw because everything he saw had a story attached to it. You could not be happier to see his awkwardness drop, seeing him ramble about his delights. He was so beautiful when he was lost in awe. His cheeks were red with cold and embarrassment when he silenced himself. But you looped your arm through his and asked a question which slowly built to another glorious discussion about this market, this time over a large hot dog that you split between each other. Tommy also bought you a little trinket – a wooden carving of a elephant half the size of your thumb – before you caught the bus home. The travelling market became a pleasure for you because it was when you got to see Tommy in such beauty like there never was before.

Gif Credit

Perma-tag: @tomgcsglasses, @lowdenglynnstyles, @prettyboytgc, @lowdensnose, @kgcurtis30, @carneylowdenwhitehead, @scottishlowden and @from-the-clouds

Dunkirk tag: @blondeeee-e

Jack tag: @londonr26

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rinnnyxr · 3 years

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Do you own plants? Do you name your plants? Do you talk to your plants? Are your plants basically your children? Is cleaning a hobby of yours? Do you like to vacuum? Does the thought of buying a new vacuum bring you joy? Do you own a Dyson? Do you dream of owning a Dyson? Are you cold right now? Do you usually bring a hoodie with you wherever you go "just in case"? Are you thinking about putting your hoodie on right now? Is "Sweater Season" a highlight of the year for you? Do you have an unhealthy obsession with HGTV? Do you get genuinely excited when a House Hunters marathon is on? Do you have a lot of feelings about House Hunters in general? Do you want a tiny house? Do you own too many tote bags? Do you take naps? Do you find yourself struggling to decide whether or not you should read a book or take a nap? Do you love Tupperware? Do you own too much Tupperware? Do you own a Keurig? Do you love your Keurig? Do you have a Bed Bath & Beyond coupon on your fridge right now? Do you go on "field trips" to Michaels? Do you still use Facebook? Do you have anything that's custom-framed? Do you identify as a morning person? Did you wake up before 7 a.m. today? Do you wake up before 7 a.m. on the weekends? Have you ever referred to your friends as "my babies?" Do you still buy magazines? Do you often complain that bars are "too loud?" Do you not go to concerts because they are "too loud?" Do you like places where you can "hear the conversation?" Do you watch Grey's? What about Gilmore Girls? Do you call someone a few years younger than you a "baby"? Are you afraid of Gen Z but still think they will "save everyone" someday? Have you ever self-identified as the "mom" of your friend group? Do you collect mugs? Do you have a favorite mug? Does Love Actually make you cry? Does The Notebook still make you cry? Have you seen The Notebook over ten times? Do you prefer your cat, dog, or pet to actual human beings? Do you have a favorite Starbucks seasonal drink? Does Queer Eye make you cry? Do you get mad when shows you like start at 10? Is 10 p.m. late? Is 11 p.m. really late? Has someone ever called you a "grandma" when you've said "that's too late for me to be out"? Can you not remember the last time you stayed out past midnight? Do you have a go-to trail mix recipe? Are you really good at snacks in general? Do you meal prep? Can you knit? Can you crochet? Do you really want to learn how to cross-stitch? Do you get excited when Michael's Christmas decorations come out? Are you excited for Fall? Have you heard of bullet journaling? Do you want to get into bullet journaling? Do you write in a physical notebook? Did you always have hand sanitizer before the pandemic? Do you bake bread? Do you currently have a sourdough starter? Have you quit caffeine? Are you into tea? Do you like to organize things? Do you own a label maker? Are you good at making smoothies? Do you own a metal straw? Do you own multiple metal straws? Do you own a kettle? Are you sure you're not cold or tired right now? Do you own a slow cooker? Do you actually use it? Do you own a dutch oven? Do brands like Le Creuset and Staub make you excited? Do you have a TikTok? Do you even understand how to use it? Is Marie Kondo somewhat of an idol to you? Do you watch The Today Show or Good Morning America? Do you have strong opinions about the anchors on both of them? Do you not watch award shows because they're on too late? Have you seen every episode of The Great British Bakeoff? Do you use essential oils? Do you own a heating pad? Do you make lists? Do you watch Family Feud? Do you just think Steve Harvey is a great guy? Does your hip hurt? Are you tired right now? Are you cold? You should probably get that sweater

I’m fond of:

Cats. Weed. New experiences. Getting to know people I have things in common with. Aliens. Horror films. Surveys. Mythology. Nature. The beach. The X-Files. Conspiracy theories. Documentaries. History. Reading. Clothes. Taking walks. Tattoos. Quadding/four-wheeling. Classic rock. Straight-forward people. Metal. Poetry. The Sims.

I’m not fond of:

Extremists. Closed-minded people. Cheese. People who judge or worry about the decisions/opinions of others. Disrespect/ignorance. The media. Cleaning. Romantic comedies. Bugs. ‘Reality’ TV shows. Technology taking over *every* aspect of life. Overdramatic people. Today’s music. Cliches. People who hold certain sentiments simply because the mass majority feels that way. Facebook. Self-righteousness. Being stared at. The US government system. Being condescended to. Being ignored. Beer. Snow/ice. Feeling trapped in my own head.

I enjoy eating/drinking:

Steak. Shrimp. Pizza. Pringles. Ben & Jerry’s. Rice. Potatoes. Bagels. Fruit. Skor bars. Aloe Vera drinks. Bolthouses. Water. Chicken. Salads. Omelets. Zucchini. Dark Russet chips. Hot chocolate.

I like to watch:

The X-Files. Law & Order: SVU. The Twilight Zone. American Horror Story. Married With Children. Twin Peaks. King Of The Hill. Nightmare Next Door. Wicked Attraction. Roseanne. That 70’s Show. Freaks & Geeks. Breaking Bad. Charmed. Family Guy. The Wonder Years.

I would describe myself as:

Laid back. Accepting. Indifferent. Realistic. Ill-tempered. Sarcastic. Blunt. Introverted. Witty. Good-natured. Understanding. Open-minded. Anxious. Headstrong. Honest. Lazy. Moody/Neurotic. Wise. Thick-skinned. Logical. Aloof. Impartial. Cynical. Humorous. Indecisive. Intuitive. Loyal. Modest. Brooding.

I’ve experienced:

A hangover. A really bad break-up. Smoking weed. Doing drugs other than weed. Being in a fist fight. Having my own house. Being on a plane. Smoking a cigarette. Sexual assault/abuse. A pregnancy. Being kicked out of my parent’s house. Hitchhiking. Shooting a gun. Physical abuse. Being hospitalized. An abusive relationship. Watching someone die. Seeing someone stabbed and/or shot. Being robbed. Competing in some sort of competition. Being in love. Gambling in a casino. A surgery of some sort.

Little things I love:

Forehead kisses. Comfortable silences. Warm blankets fresh out of the dryer. Doing something unexpected that wasn’t asked of you. Getting mail. When my kitties snuggle with me. Warm pavement on bare feet. Perfect cereal to milk ratio. Buying the last of something. Fast moving lines. Friendly cashiers. Taking the back roads. Driving on the highway during sunset. Coming across that song on your iPod that you love and haven’t heard in a while. Smiling at strangers. When you come home after a long day and realize it was grocery day. When all of your electronics have a full charge. The fact that mom always seems to have everything I need in her purse. When the last bite of food tastes better than all the rest. Happy tears. That look you give your best friend and then you both burst out laughing. Knowing when your favorite artist is releasing a new album. The atmosphere in a movie theater during a really funny film. When the whole crowd is singing at a concert. Intense eye contact that gives you goosebumps. The feeling that country music gives me. Finding the right words to say. People with beautiful souls. That moment when you realize you finally made it. Finding the perfect thing to wear. When you put zero effort into your appearance and someone compliments you. That feeling of letting go. Pleasant wake up calls. Knowing you made someone’s day a little better. The cold side of the pillow. Spotting the person you’re looking for in a big crowd. Taking off your bra after a long day. When you can taste food again after a cold. Christmas morning. Bloopers. Exact change. Finally remembering what I was going to say. New episodes of your favorite show. Multiple choice exams. Smiling in the middle of a kiss. Not having a to do list. Head massages.

Today I…

Took a shower. Bought something. Rode in a car. Watched TV. Texted someone. Cooked some food. Talked to a parent. Took more than 5 surveys. Talked to someone I love/am interested in. Walked somewhere. Wrote something on paper. Cleaned something. Talked on the phone. Ate some form of beef. Put on makeup. Straightened my hair. Ate fast food. Checked my email. Watched a movie I have never seen before. Took a picture.

This week I… Went out of town. Stayed somewhere other than my house. Borrowed money from someone. Went shopping. Painted my nails. Had someone stay at my house. Cried. Got paid. Wore the same clothes two or more days straight. Ate at a buffet. Discovered a new website. Felt sick. Played a video game. Went to work. Ate something homemade. Learned something new. Went to school. Masturbated. Tried a new hair style. Helped someone with something.

This month I… Made out with someone. Saw a movie in theaters. Went to a show/concert. Celebrated a holiday. Felt depressed about something. Missed an important call. Wore a new outfit. Got drunk. Had sex. Watched a new TV show. Had a big zit. Threw up. Wore some kind of hat. Dressed up for something. Cleaned my room. Ate pizza. Got hurt. Yelled at someone. Got my hair cut. Bought something online.

This year I… Lost my virginity. Went to the zoo. Took something back to a store. Went to the doctor. Bought someone a really great gift. Moved. Made a huge decision/change. Gained weight. Saw my favorite band live. Got a new job. Turned 16, 18, or 21. Got into a new relationship. Stopped talking to someone. Dyed my hair a different color. Graduated high school. Had a child. Got married. Made a new friend. Got my license. Met someone famous.

This coming year, I hope to… Lose some weight. Get a better job. Be in a relationship. Get a new car. Make more friends. Go back to school/uni. Continue taking surveys. Save more money. Get a new computer. Be happier. Feel better about myself. Go to more concerts. Visit someone in a different state. Help out more around the house. Go to the beach. Go on vacation. Hang out with my parents more. Stay healthy. Complete a goal of mine. Stay out of trouble.

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shysweetthing · 7 years

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I love your financial posts. I am curious what your opinion is on items other than clothes and cars, as far as how much to spend? Like food, kitchen/household supplies, technology, furniture, so on? Like I got that brand names/aesthetics are pretty low priority for you compared to longevity/maintenance, but like, where do you draw the line and for what sort of things? What if it's something that needs time rather than cash to fix, for example a knife that dulls easily?

These are huge categories of things, and there is no real rule for “how much to spend” because it depends on who you are, what you need, how much money you have, and what you’re trying to accomplish.

If you have not surmised from my fics containing thousand word recipes and various posts on eggs and cooking with dashi, and perhaps the first chapter of the fic I just posted which lovingly detailing a perfectly coursed breakfast menu, I really, really like food. And cooking. And food.

I have strong feelings about kitchen equipment and food, PARTICULARLY knives. (I have strong feelings about most things, but particularly strong feelings about food-related things). I also have an unusual amount of kitchen gadgetry–if you read my onsen katsudon post, you’ll realize that I have an immersion circulator, for instance. So I obviously am not going to preach extreme sparsity in the kitchen.

So…massive post about kitchen gadgets and food below the jump.

Random thoughts on kitchen gadgets!

Unless you’re a chef, you don’t need a knife set; you need ONE EXTREMELY GOOD CHEF’S KNIFE. 70% of the knives in any given knife block don’t get used, and 20% only get used because the one knife you do use isn’t clean. Don’t put it in the dishwasher. Don’t let it jostle around in the random crap drawer and get the edge jostled. Hone it on a regular basis. You need to get your knife sharpened when it gets dull (every year or so), and this costs like maybe $7-12. This is the holy grail of knives, but this will do.

It is worth it to pay money for a good knife. Good knives make cooking easier by about eleventy billion percent. Good knives also mean you use less pressure while cooking, which means you’re less likely to cut yourself and have to go to the ER for stitches–an outcome that would probably swamp any savings you might have on the actual knife itself.

It is also worth it to watch some basic YouTube videos on knife skills for that same reason. (As a general rule, buy kitchen equipment at your skill level, not above it.)

By contrast, there is a lot of kitchen equipment that quite a few people actually really don’t need–food processors and stand mixers come to mind. Yes, many people use some of these things some of the time, and some people use some of these things all the time. But if you would only ever use your fancy KitchenAid stand mixer to make whipped cream twice a year, I have a horrifying suggestion for you: get a wire whisk and whip your cream by hand. It really doesn’t take as long as you think it will.

Likewise, food processors–I guess some people use these all the time? But many people get food processors because they should have them, and rarely use them, if ever, because it turns out that while they may chop things faster they’re a lot harder to clean than a knife, and if you have a good knife and decent knife skills, unless you’re cooking for a bloody army, you don’t need it and aren’t going to use it. At the fast and small end, you can use them for home-making pesto, which is definitely useful, but if you have a good blender you can do it there, too.

Here’s my set of kitchen gadgets that I use on a semi-regular basis: blender, rice cooker, waffle iron, immersion circulator. Some people will ditch the immersion circulator in favor of a slow cooker; most rice cookers double as slow cookers. I also have a travel rice cooker that I bring on business trips.

I started with really super-basic versions of all of these things, and then, as those super-basic versions gave up the ghost, replaced them one-by-one, first with really decent medium-quality versions of themselves, and then, as those lasted longer, with the holy grail versions.

Random thoughts about food

Food spending is something I have only recently started to get a handle on, in large part because food is such a deep and emotional subject. I’m still not all the way there, but I’ve learned a lot in the last couple of years, and maybe the things I have learned will be helpful to others.

I’m going to beg your pardon for going into emotional things that may not seem relevant here, but I for me–and possibly for others, which is why I’m detailing it here–spending the right amount of money on food has been very closely related to my emotional relationship with food.

Food is very important. Money is a consideration in purchasing food, but it is not the only consideration. Food is the source of health. You need to be eating a properly balanced diet. If you aren’t, you’ll get tired more easily. You’ll feel sick. You’ll be more prone to developing certain diseases. These things are costly, and you need to take them into consideration.

Food is also (very often) a social activity. It is a time for families and friends to get together and talk about their day. It is (for me) an expression of love–something I can do for the people I care about that shows my caring, because I absolutely hate having to express myself verbally on these kinds of points. One of the ways that I personally say “I care about you” is to spend seventeen hours perfecting a recipe just so I can make something that is utterly delicious. This is particularly true for some members of my family with food sensitivities/dietary restrictions–being able to make delicious things that they would never imagine they could eat just see the look on their face makes me really, really happy.

Food is an emotional activity. Tastes can tap into memories. They can bring up nostalgia. They can bring up bad memories. Eating can be comfort; it can also be a way to hurt yourself.

What you put into yourself is very, very important–it should taste good, nourish you, and feed your soul. I just really, really believe in food, okay?

But. Our society sends us so many bullshit messages about food and our relationship with it. People get told that they can’t eat fats, or carbs, or this kind of meat, or soy protein, and if you eat too much you’re doing it wrong and if you eat too little you’re doing it wrong, and if you spend too much on food you’re an avocado-toast devouring wastrel who will never own a home, and if you spend too little on food you deserve the health disaster that is inevitably coming your way.

Over the course of my life, society and an array of health/diet-oriented books told me that my body was my enemy and the only way to transcend it was to ignore what it was telling me–to ignore hunger, to ignore cravings, to ignore the emotional response food brings in me, to treat these things as pariah, and to see myself as a weak, bad person because I hunger, crave, and respond emotionally.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve started working specifically with a food therapist, and I’ve started to unravel some of this. It has been a deeply emotional process.

And so let me say, with all the love I have in me, FUCK THIS SHIT. My body is not the enemy. Food is not the enemy. And yes, this is relevant to spending–learning to love myself and my relationship with food instead of hate it has helped me save money.

You’ll see why in a little bit.

A couple of years ago, I sat down to figure out how to spend less on food. At the time, I was spending an absolutely ridiculous amount on food–something like $125/week per person. (I’m going to use this as the measure of food–$$/week/person–because it’s most generalizable across the board. I think the national average is something like $50/week/person.) While this wasn’t breaking my budget, I have depressive episodes that really dampen my productivity and earning capacity, and I knew I was due for one, and *cough* I figured it would behoove me to tighten the budget where I could as much as possible.

That meant I had to figure out my pain points in food. At first blush, my thought was–I shouldn’t spend much less money than this, this is the kind of food I should be eating. I was buying lots of vegetables–organic, for the ones where it makes a big different. I bought organic meat, because it’s not laden with antibiotics. Et cetera.

Then I noticed a second thing: I was throwing out a lot of food.

Sure, I was making use of some of it. But I didn’t want to spend time cooking every day, and so I didn’t. Worse, I was purchasing the food I thought I should eat, and not the food I wanted to eat–meaning that my motivation to actually sit down and prepare the food I thought I should eat was weak, and so instead of making the planned uninspiring meal for the day, I would tell myself, “oh, I’ll make that for tomorrow” and then I’d get pizza.

In other words, I was lying to myself about what I actually wanted to eat, because I felt I should eat a certain way. Because I was lying to myself, I was spending money buying food that I was only ever going to hypothetically eat. Spending money for something that is going to get tossed is not a good financial decision. Because I couldn’t admit that I was lying to myself and didn’t want to eat the food I was purchasing, I was eating out more, which is both expensive and rather less healthy than just being fucking honest in the first place.

One additional thing that is specific to me, but that other people share, is this–even if I picked food I liked, and wanted to make, and usually would make, if I was having a really bad week depression-wise, I would not be arsed to take the 45 minutes to prepare it because depression sucks. This meant I was buying food while depressed that there was no chance in hell I would make.

In other words, the fundamental reason I was spending so much money on food is that I was buying food for a different person than I was. To fix the problem, I had to figure out who I was, and how to buy food for me and not this hypothetical always-health-conscious, never-makes-a-mistake, always-cooks-every-meal person I was pretending to be.

It’s taken me about eighteen months to get to the point where I have a food strategy that works for me. Here’s what I’ve come to as my guiding principles.

1. I deserve to eat food I want to eat.2. I deserve to eat well-balanced meals with a variety of foods.3. While I occasionally like going all out on cooking, I mostly want to spend about ten minutes on dinner prep because nobody has time for that shit on a regular basis.

My strategy has basically three components for me, but it will vary for everyone because what you like to eat is…up to you.

Component One: Protein.

I like eating meat. I particularly like fatty meats–chicken thighs over breasts, what have you. But I don’t need to, or even want to, eat a lot of it.

Solution: What I do is prepare meats in large quantity, and then portion them out into three to four ounce per person servings, and then freeze these. Thus, for instance, I’ll braise an entire lamb leg very slowly, and then weigh it into meal-sized bags. Or I’ll make a giant pot of butter chicken. Or turn a butt-roast into carnitas. Or cut up chicken thighs into pieces, and put three ounces per person into bags and freeze them. Or I’ll simmer several pounds of pork belly into chashu pork (https://www.justonecookbook.com/homemade-chashu/) and then set it aside in two ounce servings for person–two ounces because it is SO fatty that the satiety from a few ounces goes a very long way.

The night before, I take whatever it is I’m going to be making and move it from the freezer to the fridge.

Then for dinner, I microwave it. Or, in the case of the chicken thighs, turn on the oven broiler, skewer the chicken pieces, and make yakitori (recipe here: https://www.justonecookbook.com/yakitori/). Or, toss it into ramen broth. Or sometimes I’ll just scramble a bunch of eggs because eggs are delicious.

Things that go in the freezer are things that take 2-10 minutes of prep, max.

Three ounces is enough to satisfy me; two minutes is enough time that I don’t have to think about it.

At this point, I have a Costco membership, which means I can buy organic meat in bulk. That helps lower the price on things substantially.

Component Two: Fruits and vegetables.

I also like eating fruits and vegetables. That being said, I like variety, and unless you’re feeding an army, it takes freaking forever to get through the general amount of vegetables you can purchase from the store.

Solution: What I do is pick 3-4 vegetable side dishes every week. The rules are that the side dishes must vary in color and preparation method, and that I have to want to eat them.

So, for instance, this week my side dishes are: Quick salt-pickled cucumbers (these are pickled, and they’re green). Seasoned soy bean sprouts (these are blanched/boiled, and they’re white and yellow). Stir-fried eggplant (Using this recipe, http://www.koreanbapsang.com/2011/09/gaji-bokkeum-stir-fried-eggplants.html; these are purple). And a tomato salad seasoned with olive oil and red yuzu kosho (these are red and raw).

I also get fruits of different colors, too. The rules are the same–I have to get things I like. This week I have navel oranges and these utterly delicious peony grapes that make me want to break down and weep every time I eat them. It’s usually ¼ of an orange per person + about ½ handful of grapes at the end of each meal.

Component Three: Rice.

Look, I’m Asian, and yes, it’s stereotypical, but steamed rice is delicious and people have been eating it forever around the world, and plus, if you have a programmable rice cooker you can set it up way ahead of time and boom, rice is ready right at dinner time.

Here’s how a typical week works.

I do most of the work on Saturday.

On Saturday, I assess the state of my freezer. Do I need to add anything to my store of meals? If so, I’ll put that first on my list for the week. Sometimes I won’t need to add anything. I’ll round everything else out on the basis of what I have in there. My projected meals will look something like this: lamb / eggs / carnitas / pork belly ramen / yakitori / butter chicken / mapo tofu

I’ll also figure out my vegetable side dishes, and list all the ingredients needed to make them.

I go shopping. I come home. If I need to make something to add to the freezer, I make it. While I’m doing that, I also make my three to four vegetable side dishes and set them in the freezer. (I also make miso soup and some extra dashi; here’s why I make dashi.)

The assessment, planning, shopping, cooking, and parceling out the food I’ve just made takes me around 3-4 hours.

Thereafter, the production of dinner on every day other than Saturday looks like this:

Put whatever protein I have in the microwave/under the broiler/etc.Put rice in a bowl.Add small bits of vegetable side dishes to the bowl on top of the rice, taking up approximately 2/3rds of surface area.Put now finished protein on top of rice. Put on table.Microwave miso soup. Add seaweed to it. Plonk on table.Wash/cut fruit; put on plate.Take things for tomorrow’s dinner out of freezer and put it in fridge.

Dinner now takes approximately 3 minutes of morning prep to set up the rice, and 2-10 minutes to assemble. It consists of some kind of protein, rice, tons of vegetables, miso soup, and fruit.

There is a crapload of variety. It’s delicious. It’s nutritious. I don’t have so much of any one vegetable on my plate at any one time that I get tired of it, and I rotate weekly.

I have other things I do for variety’s sake–for instance, I made a huge quantity of this (https://www.justonecookbook.com/vegetarian-ramen/) up until just before the point where you add the soy milk, and then froze this in tiny packets as ramen base. Now if I want incredibly fucking delicious ramen, all I need to do is take my bag of ramen base out of the fridge, add soy milk and dashi, boil frozen ramen, add pork belly and a bunch of vegetables, and boom. FUCKING DELICIOUS RAMEN.

I’ll also sometimes make katsudon, because katsudon. And so forth.

In terms of cost, because I’m using the vegetables I buy for all the meals, I’m not buying a cabbage and throwing about ¾ of it because damn it is hard to eat an entire cabbage. (I grew up in a family of nine, and it was not hard for us to eat an entire cabbage then, but I am not currently in a family of nine.) Because I’m buying organic meat in bulk, I’m paying as little as possible for it, and because I’m freezing it until just before I use it, I’m not wasting it.

At this point, I probably only have to make a replacement for something in the fridge approximately once every 2 weeks. I’m eating better than I’ve ever eaten before. I’m eating out much less. On those weeks when I’m struggling with depression/have heavier workloads than most, I don’t even bother to try and replenish the freezer stuff, and I go to the Korean grocery store (I’m lucky enough to have one near me) and instead of making my side dishes, I just grab a handful of their pre-made ones, because my strategy is flexible enough to allow me to be the person I am on a regular basis.

The first few weeks when I started doing this, my costs–because I was putting two sets of things in the freezer every week, and because I had no freezer meals to draw off of–were fairly high, probably like $75/week/person, which is still higher than the national average, but less than I was spending before.

At this point, my costs per week are about $35/week/person. This is more than some people spend, but below the national average, and that’s pretty cool, considering that I’m still eating organic meats, and many organic vegetables.

Your solution to this may not look like my solution to this–your pain points are different, and you are different. But for me, I couldn’t start to get a handle on either my food spending or my eating habits until I started buying food for the person I was, not the person society told me I should be.

I also want to point out–again–that there are several items of privilege in this post that should not be assumed to be universal. First, in order to build up a solid store of freezer-stuffs, to the point where you can sustain a $35/week/person grocery bill, you need to be able to overspend the national average for a couple of months. Second, you have to be able to get yourself to a grocery store that sells organic stuff, and if you live in a food desert, it’s hard enough just finding a store that sells fresh vegetables, period. Third, I have a CostCo membership–I live less than a mile from a CostCo, and this isn’t open to everyone. Fourth, I live very close to multiple Asian grocery stores, and I really couldn’t eat delicious food regularly if I had to scramble to find broad bean paste or miso or the ingredients for dashi, or if I had to buy them from grocery stores that largely cater to white people and overcharge on these items by massive amounts if they even carry them. Fifth, I have a reasonably large freezer that is extremely reliable. Sixth, me and my family members are reasonably open to eating a wide variety of foods and have few food allergies or sensitivities. Seventh, I have one day a week that I can reasonably devote a large chunk of to food preparation.

There are other things, too–those are just the ones that jumped out to me upon immediate inspection. So my typical reminder again–this is what has worked for me. I’m telling you because it might work for you, and if it can help, that’s great. But please don’t lecture people with this post, because there are many ways that this strategy depends heavily on privileged statuses.

#food tw #finance stuff #depression tw #kitchen gadgets

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Clever Chef Multi-Cooker - A Good Investment or Not?

Cooking at home

When you intend to cook your own meals, you know that you must dedicate some part of your spare time in order to satisfy your wishes. These days, people are so busy that they cannot find any spare time. We all want to live healthier lives and eat better, but we end up ordering our food from various providers because it is easier this way. In order to solve this issue, the kitchen devices manufacturers came with a great and innovating idea, namely the multi functions cookers. In the following rows of this article I will talk about one of these miraculous machines. Could the Clever Chef Multi-Cooker be a good investment or not? Clever Chef Multi-Cooker features The main purpose of these cookers is to replace other appliances that you might have in your kitchen. From this point of view, Clever Chef Multi-Cooker is able to do this thing. Besides replacing these appliances it can also make things easier for you. At least this is what its manufacturer suggests. When it comes about Clever Chef Multi Cooker, you will benefit of this great advantage of changing your way of cooking completely. Throw all the ingredients in just one place and they will cook by themselves while you could do anything else. It comes with 14 ways of cooking from which you can choose in order to get your meals done. No matter if you want to cook rice, bake bread, roast a stake or cook pasta, all you have to do is choose the proper program that comes with the right cooking temperature. Usually, Clever Chef Multi Cooker is used when you want to cook well, fast and with minimum of effort. However, if you want to prepare a dish that requires slow cooking technique, this is the appliance that you need, because it is also gifted with this program.

Even if each function available has a predefined cooking temperature, you can adjust that manually if you wish. You have a delay timer and other features as well such as warming your dish and a “retain moisture” function. Clever Chef Multi-Cooker pros and cons It is a great device and as I said it could replace a multitude of other appliances that you might already own. However, the main issue is its size. The design of the machine is a bit bulky and you need a wide countertop to place it on. Even if its size is big, some customers complained that it cannot replace big frying pans or other pots in which they could’ve cooked wider quantities of food. If you want to cook a dinner for two, it could be the perfect device. Otherwise, you might need to go for the classic way of cooking. Therefore, the Clever Chef Multi-Cooker is a good investment but not in all situations. Due to its round shape, all the things you intend to bake such as bread or cakes will be round as well. If you have other plans, then you should use another way of cooking. I said earlier that you can adjust the temperature manually. Yes, you can do that but not for every type of dish. Things like rice or bread must be cook at an exact temperature which is set automatically once you choose the cooking program and it cannot be changed. If you want to cook a soup, you can set any temperature you might consider suitable. Whoever has a bit of knowledge about baking, knows that most cookies must be baked at a temperature of 350 degrees. Unfortunately, Clever Chef Multi-Cooker does not reach this temperature. Therefore your baking possibilities are a bit limited or the period of cooking should be extended. What does the seller offer? If you decide to buy Clever Chef Multi-Cooker, you need to check all the conditions imposed by the seller. The price is around $87 and as I read, together with the shipping fee. Another thing offered by the seller is a cooking book that it will be included in the package. One thing that I liked is the 30 days money back guarantee. Remember, however, that the 30 days starts from the day in which you have placed the order and not from the day when it arrived at your door steps. Clever Chef Multi-Cooker reviews The best way to gather more info about a product is to read the reviews posted by people who tried it already. You know the theory “learning from other people’ mistakes” works in this case too. The most often thing said about Clever Chef Multi-Cooker was that it is a versatile device. Maybe you cannot cook large meals, but the dishes that you can cook in it are a real success. The maintenance procedure was another thing that pleased the customers. It is easy to dissemble and clean and reassemble. As you can imagine its main feature that made people bought it, was the fact that the entire cooking process is completely simplified. What displeased the customers? Many devices presented malfunctions since they were delivered. Due to this problem the display of the device showed some errors. The customers complained that the relationship with the customer service provided by the seller was not at the level of the expectations. Those who decided to return the product, or some of them, discovered that it is not an easy task at all. Conclusions The good points overcome the down points on my opinion. As in many other situations, you cannot please everyone when you release on the market a product. Some people will simply love the product and others will not be as satisfied as they thought they will be at the beginning. If your home space is not too big and it will be difficult to fit in all the appliances required in order to be your own chef, then Clever Chef Multi-Cooker is the answer for you. If you do not have a numerous family, or you live alone then Clever Chef Multi-Cooker is the answer to your problems. It will take the cooking activity off your shoulders while you can deal with any other problem. In case you have a big family, you should cook in the classic manner. The same recommendation I will make for the ones who love to cook complex dishes. Read the full article

#aboutCleverChefMultiCooker #cleverchefmulticooker #cleverchefmulticookerreview #CleverChefMulti-Cookercons #CleverChefMulti-Cookerfeatures #CleverChefMulti-Cookerpros #CleverChefMulti-Cookerprosandcons #CleverChefMulti-Cookerreviews #cookyourownmeals #multifunctionscooker #multifunctionscookers

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