Confessing is Hard(Hobie Brown x f! reader)

(Hiiiii, I’m super new to Tumblr, like this is literally my first post ever but I felt like writing a Hobie x reader bc atsv was fucking awesome. Also, I love reading fics but sometimes I can’t find fics about shit I want to read so I’ve taken it upon myself for me just to do it! So yeah, this is my first fic, and I started writing this at 2:13 am 😓SO KEEP THAT IN MIND!!!!!!! anyways moving on!)(Also, I wanna make this a series but dunno)

(quick) Summary: You recently(if 11 months ago counts as recent?!?!?!?) became spider-woman on earth-420(not a real one I think, just a random number) and a few months ago were asked to join the spider society. You became quick friends with Hobie and Pavitr, yet Hobie can’t seem but to want to be a little more than just friends, but he’s too much of a pussy to fess up and tell you how he really feels.🙄But so are you so can one of you just man up and do it already god.

wc: 787

(sorry if Hobie seems ooc, idk much British slang and don’t feel like learning bc this is pretty short and yk fuck the British jkjk)

*~*~*~*

I never really realized how pretty Nueva York was until I became spider-woman. 

Granted I’ve never had access to every rooftop in the city until I got bit by that radioactive spider but still, I’m able to see a city I’ve known my whole life in a new light. But honestly, if I’m really thinking about it-

A voice cuts my thinking off. “Hellooooooo, earth to y/n!!!” There’s a hand with long, lanky fingers waving in front of me. Shit. I forgot I wasn’t alone.

I focus my attention on my spider-friends. “Shit sorry Hobie, what’s up?” I’ve been spacing off a lot more frequently lately, I can tell Hobie and Pav have been getting annoyed by it. 

“Not much, we were just talking and you spaced out mid-conversation. Everything alright buggy?”

“Yup!” Nope. “Everything’s fine!” But it’s really not. “Why wouldn’t it be?” Because you’re in love with your best friend? “Just a little,” A lot. “on my mind. You know, Spider things, school, friends, family.” You. 

“Well me and Pav got’s to go. Right, Pav?” He didn’t believe me. I could tell in his voice.

“Oh yeah! Right!”

“Well, see you later bugs.” He turns around and steps through a portal with our shared friend. 

Wait when did that get there? Ugh, whatever. ‘Bugs’ That’s a cute nickname. ‘Buggy’ I never really gave it much thought before. But now. Having these new feelings. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get it out of my head.

~~2 hours ago~~

Since I became Spider-Woman, one of my favorite pastimes is just swinging around Nueva York mindlessly. It’s even more fun with company. Which is where the scene lays out. Me and my two favorite Spider-men, Hobie and Pav, Racing around Nueva York. The last person to make it to the roof on top of my apartment from my dorm at Visions has to pay for takeout. First Place gets to choose what we get.

Obviously, I won, Pav coming in second, with Hobie behind him by a bit. He never tries at these kinds of games so Pav and I take that to our advantage. We make it to the rooftop, I blanket I laid out this morning still there. We all sit, order food (Hobie doesn’t even have to ask what I want, he just knows), chat, eat, and chat even more. It’s nice. Peaceful. I always seem to be at peace whenever I’m with Hobie. Always seem to space out.

We were talking about something. I can’t seem to remember what it was. Which is odd. I’m usually a pretty attentive listener, but something about the way Hobie’s looked so enchanting. Had he always been this… pretty? Wow, he has a lot of piercings. Wait. What? Why am I thinking about this? He’s your friend y/n! Snap out of it! Think about something else! Like uhhhh, you have a chem test tomorrow! You should probably be studying for that. Eh, whatever I'll do fine. Hobie’s eyes are like actually really pretty. Shit, fuck, we made eye contact, crap!! Omg uhh, the sky! Wait, the sunsets like actually really pretty tonight. And omg the lights in all the buildings just illuminate the sky even more! 

I never really realized how pretty Nueva York was until I became spider-woman. 

*~*~*~*

(AHHHH, this is so ass but wtv I did this in less than an hour. It is now 3:09. GOOD NIGHT!)

Dead Friend Forever ep 12 initial reaction

It’s over am I happy? Not particularly. It is interesting though. Let’s go over it and then I’ll make my rating post for the whole series

Disclaimer upfront I get triggered by blood so I did watch some scenes with my hands covering the top of the scene so maybe I missed things.

Okay so let’s get into the ep

I find it interesting that Top, Jin, and Fluke all include their ‘friends’ in their hallucinations. While White, Phee, Tee are more self solo focused. I imagine if Por was alive his nightmare scenario would be group based because he wanted to be cool or if it was solo maybe it would be man he’s a really big asshole personality wise. Probably good he didn’t live to this last scene would have been redundant or abhorrent.

So Fluke was afraid of being bullied by Top and Tee. He never really felt a hundred percent with the group. I find it telling that Por and Non convince him to take his eyes out because people felt like he had no guilt for both of their deaths. Realistically if Fluke had stood up to Top and Tee when the camera got broken I do think because Fluke and Por were good friends Por might have believed Fluke over Top but maybe not. Por was an asshole. But him doing anything in the other scenes won’t have really helped. He didn’t have any power in the group dynamic. He wasn’t even particularly close to Jin the reason they both found non and the teacher was because they were in the same class.

I started to get suspicious we might be in dream sess for Top’s he’ll scape. 1 idk how he is still alive 2 he’s still very much on drugs anyways. Also the fear of being betrayed by his friends them not listening to him was an interesting motivation. We saying top was a people pleaser I guess? Idk I wanted more from his character. Did find it poetic he and Fluke offed each other when their fears were so routed in their friendships their bonds. Then that’s what threw them down the stairs.

Tee 😭😭😭😭 even in the nightmare trying to help Non over and over trying to give him hope. Trying to do all that he could. Trapped and trying his best. Shows that he deeply fundamentally didn’t want to be a bad guy. A caged animal tortured animal doesn’t run when you open the cage you have to show it the way out first. I think Tee was hoping seeing Non escape would mean he could go for his freedom too. I cried during his and White’s scene. Also how beautiful are they? I hope Tee survives

Once again I think something bad happened to White to make him feel like he’s dirty that he’s automatically a slut for making friends. Yes Tee gets jealous but I won’t say it’s abnormally so White puts that pressure on himself. He desperately wanted to be Tee’s above all else a very sweet motivator. I once again cried watching what happened. I’m glad Tan had second doubts about his death at least.

Jin stalker/unhealthy obsession? Idk it’s just what the TV imagery and the cell phones make me think of Because my mind goes to BTS Suga’s solo MV for Shadow. Jin’s certainly ashamed of what he did. He also had his friends in there saying he was scared they’d hate me. Very interesting. Jin is MAJORLY insecure. He values his perception and hates who he really is and the pleasure he desires. I was disappointed to see him still alive but then again if he had that injury I was curious if he would survive just based on blood loss to the hospital. Really really hated the visuals on that so… maybe I missed something

Found it heartbreaking that New’s Non was a good little brother. Ugh I can’t imagine losing my sister and this scene really hurts. That New has done all this shit but deep down he knows what New really felt about him and New’s scared he’s done the wrong thing.

Found it sus we see New die of a gut injury when the shot hit his shoulder. But was sweet that Non came back to thank him in his head. A good end although doubting it happened.

Wow Jin being the human one in this scene of the future. I guess he’d be an idealized version of Jin.

Uhhhhh yes? In that Tee would need to accept what happened and seek help. But also no? Phee showing his double standard here. Phee didn’t you just learn you would have been there for Non if you could? Well if Tee was suffering like that Phee you should visit him even if it’s hard it’d be his duty. Phee is partly responsible for what happened. Phee you can care about people you ain’t fucking and or their family members. It’s okay to have friends naturally and support them.

Season 2!!!! Big reveal? So how much of this ep was a dream?? Whole thing? From when new used the gas? I also wonder would New’s protections for himself actually work? Yes he has those cure smoke things but the nightmare stuff is still in everything. I would like it if maybe Non had survived and some how drugged them all? I don’t think he did but 9th person Mr Keng? Non? White? Steps in and all of this outcome has been Phee’s interpretation of the truth ep 12? Maybe idk. I can’t wait for season 2

Seeing your posts about the first episodes and everyone was so mean to Betty since always, and that’s only taking into account the instances where she actually heard or saw people treating her horribly or calling her ugly and whatnot, but they were even worse behind her back (Mario and even Armando lbr especially at the early stages of their affair) and when Armando dresses as a drag queen and Betty takes him to her house to help him get rid of the make up and stuff just as he is leaving he asks her if it’s really that horrible to work at Ecomoda. Dude, do you really need to ask that? 😪 At least, he has time to reflect later because when they want Betty to help them get out of debt by keeping the embargo, Armando says that if she doesn’t want to help them it won’t be because of the things that were said to her during the board meeting, but because of the things that were said to her repeatedly before that and during her whole time working there (All the things Daniel said to Betty when she had her first makeover? He’s gross). The Human Resources department at Ecomoda was simply nonexistent.

If María Beatriz que was not a Valencia, they would treat her just as bad as they did with El Cuartel tbh

Thank you for your gifs, your blog is awesome 😎

Yea it’s rough to see how everyone treats Betty and like how you said they’re even worse when they talk behind her back. They even call her names right after she saves their skin! Calling her Murciélago 🦇 de la Guarda and whatnot. Like bruh she’s doing all she can to help you guys yet y’all can’t compliment her without an insult?! Seriously! They’re dickheads! And the worst part is that Betty probably hears them all the time yet pretends she doesn’t cause let’s not forget the walls are thin in Ecomoda 🫠. (Okay side note- there’s this scene where Armando and Mario are trash talking about her and she trips into the office, I feel like she heard them but of course used her “clumsiness” to brush over the situation if that makes sense? Definitely gonna talk about that later in a post once I rewatch the scene). Anyways when I’m reminded of Armando asking Betty if it’s that horrible to work for him it seriously makes me laugh! That’s not something he should be asking! He KNOWS he’s awful 😀 I think Betty only tells him that Don Hermes heard him yelling at her on the day she made him a business proposal (or something like that, tbh when they talk stuff about the company everything goes over my head) what she should’ve mentioned is that Don Hermes heard him yelling at her on the day he FIRED HER!! Bro that scene made me soo mad! The way Armando didn’t even wanna listen to her, insulting her basically saying that if he has to have a useless secretary might as well only keep Patricia like ugh you dumbass!! How dare you!! I kinda have wished she didn’t made that business proposal for him cause he didn’t deserve it! And the worst part is that right after he told Betty to go take a lunch break he basically tells Mario he did notice that Betty was limping but he just didn’t cared! Ugh!! Idk how Betty was able to handle all that abuse! F Armando man! Betty shouldn’t had helped them not because of what was said to her during the board meeting but ALSO because of what they did and said to her before, during her time in Ecomoda! For sure Betty is stronger than me, I would’ve been so petty😮‍💨 honestly I kinda liked how Armando read Betty’s diary, he deserved to know exactly how Betty felt during her stay in Ecomoda. I loved how he felt her pain through those pages☺️ tho I wished Betty had reminded him how he fired her😒

Don’t even remind me of Daniel during Betty’s first makeover! He was such an asshole for no reason! My poor Betty 🤧 trying to defend herself😭 and now that I think about it, it was brave of her to stand up to him while she was basically cornered cause let’s not forget he attacked her while they were alone who knows what could’ve happened if Armando didn’t appear 😰. I have to admit Armando was such a sweetheart in this episode 🥹 the way he defended her not only from Daniel but from Marcela and Patricia those bitches so kudos for him but not many cause he was still trash talking behind her back with Mario😠

Seriously! Hr was definitely nonexistent in Ecomoda! The way the executives got away with everything is crazy! How Mario played with Patricia and Aura Maria, Hugo’s insults towards the Cuartel especially towards Betty, the way Marcela tried firing Betty and how she probably fired a lot of models (probably without good reasons other than they slept with Armando). There was just so much mistreatments from the executives it’s insane! And the worst part is they never apologize not even Armando who’s the least bad one from them all. He should at least apologize after yelling at the workers 💀. Omgosh that reminds me! Okay sorry for going off track but I’m remembering that time when Armando pulled Patricia’s hair!! That was so insane of him! So scary!! Patricia is an awful person but she did not deserve to get her hair pulled by her boss!! Armando should’ve definitely been arrested there!😰 from what I understand the Cuartel had worked in Ecomoda for years, idk how they handled working in such a toxic environment 😬 but then again Don Roberto was the president so things were way different, I hope😶

Omg if Maria Beatriz was not a Valencia she would’ve been treated even worse than the Cuartel! The Cuartel were treated bad because of their appearance and Patricia was treated bad cause she’s an airhead. Maria Beatriz was not only ugly but also an airhead! Everyone would’ve eaten her alive! She’s lucky that she was born a Valencia but even still I feel like everyone pushes her to the sidelines. I feel like her family and the Mendozas try to forget she even exists💀

Hehe thanks for the kind words🙈❤️ I’ll try to make more gifs but tbh I’m kinda in a hiatus on my rewatch cause it’s kinda hard to see Betty being mistreated by everyone. Everyone is so cruel to her and I’m only 10 episodes in! Just thinking about what’s to come breaks my heart😭 but Ik it’s worth it I just need more time to mentally prepare myself. Also I’m thinking of making some fanart! Idk how to draw but if I can’t do fanfics might as well do some fanart! So watch out for them😜 and hey you never know! Maybe my fanart can inspire talented artist to make some of their own for the fandom 🤭🤪 anyways thanks for messaging me! I always have fun when I have someone to talk to about ysblf 🥰 tho I apologize for taking so long to reply😭

Don’t hate me! I love ya 😚❤️

“Translation: Armando, Rejected by Betty and being replaced with Nicolás. Little Armando, Rejected by his dad and being replaced with Daniel. “

~ long post coming and hopefully with sense and logic ~

Hello Tumblr people! I’m not good at expressing my thoughts/opinions but gonna try it because I wanted to share this (plus, a cruel meme and a fan video! :)), we know when Betty finds the letter and discovers everything, she becomes the “Armando” to Armando’s “Marcela”, meaning she acts like Armando in his relationship with Marcela (at least that’s how I perceive it, also it could be a karma for Armando for everything he has done to Marcela), Betty lies to him, makes him think that she’s using Terramoda’s money (meaning Ecomoda’s, you know why, i get so confused with the whole business stuff so let’s act as if we understand, or at least act as if I'm right please hehe), makes him think that Nicolás is her boyfriend now, she plays with him, with his mind, he wants to talk about it, he knows communication is something fundamental in their relationship, but the problem now is that Betty is not doing that, she’s not communicating, she’s refusing to give clear answers, especially with her “specific relationship” with Nicolás, she says she doesn’t have anything with him, only a friendship but her actions say otherwise, all I’m explaining is Armando’s perspective (something people forget, he’s not a villain, not gonna justify his actions here but his emotions/feelings are valid, how he acts on them is another conversation), he can’t think or accept the idea about Betty’s motives about doing all this stuff are because she found out everything so his feelings win, he’s jealous about Nicolás and he blames it all on him, he doesn’t even blame betty, he thinks betty is the only victim here because nicolás is using her (lol this man’s mind, and ofc Mario’s), now, ofc we know Betty’s perspective, she’s hurt, betrayed, dying inside to the point of becoming this person that later she regrets (something that I wonder is what she would’ve done if she didn’t hear el cuartel or Aura Maria specifically of the plan about making a man feel jealous, they’re talking about sofía here, and that’s where betty gets this whole idea, what she was going to do before that, what was her plan here, wait for an explanation? Leave? Idk, but I wonder), so yeah, I feel bad for both at this point, and we see it more in that scene where doña Margarita is talking about marriage with Armando and both look so miserable about the idea, about everything, also MARGARITA PLEASE PAY MORE ATTENTION TO YOUR SON!!!!!!!, this woman doesn’t notice anything (pero qué está pasando aquí? Armando is the same as her mother though lol, that scene where betty looks miserable and crying and he believes that she’s okay, love is blind). You all, idk if it was just me but when I first watched the episode where Armando and Nicolás fight, and betty slaps him and he looks so hurt and then betty leaves with Nicolás and everyone (el cuartel, Hugo) leaves Armando alone…… that destroyed me, nobody cared about him in that moment, i know he was being intense in that moment, i know he’s the “boss” here and he was making a “spectacle” but I couldn’t help feeling so sad for him, he’s alone figuring out his feelings, and it’s not the only time he’s alone doing that, ugh having feelings for him makes me miserable but also i love him so worth it, anyways, yeah that was a fun fact about me, me crying in that scene because then he believes that Betty doesn’t love him anymore and that he chose nicolás when he left him there (his mind makes me laugh but also i would think that too and I would also go to a bar and let people hurt me because I hurted the person I love in the worst possible way, yeah I have issues and I love Betty so much too), so he really believes that Betty doesn’t love him (this man! She told him that she loved him days ago and now he believes that she doesn’t anymore, that really tells you how Armando perceives love, one mistake and love is gone…. Just hurted myself with that, the love he has experienced has been conditional, with his father more strongly, with Marcela, with his mother, with his best friend, except this person, this person who is loyal, supportive, who has been there for him in good times as bad times… Betty. I get it Armando, I also think that one mistake and love is gone, let’s go to therapy!), now to end this, Betty once again tells him that she still loves him, and not even that, that she has never stopped loving him (ugh, I’m miserable, why are they like that, they make me feel stuff), Armando is relieved about that and also he’s feeling a lot of things (lol), he loves her too much, that he finally accepts that he’s in love for the first time (poor Marcela but yay for Armando for acknowledging his feelings for the first time! But also boo because it’s too late, Betty is leaving already, anyways!), that he’s in love with Beatriz Pinzón Solano (ah, such a telenovela thing to say the full name but also i love it so much in here!), another anyways, this post is getting long so my point here was that I saw this beautiful and wrenching fan video about Armando that I first thought it was going to be about Betty’s suffering but in a way it is, Betty’s suffering through Armando’s suffering or Armando’s suffering through Betty’s (¿??? Idk I made up so many stuff in my mind), and after watching it I thought about making this meme and I laugh through the pain, love hurting myself, so we don’t know much about los Mendoza and Valencia’s background but we see the result, Don Roberto, in my opinion, is a nice man, elegant, very hard working, as a father though..… he’s cold, conditional, idk in my mind the fault is always on the parents (leave me alone I have issues), he’s cold but in the end, that’s something I would have loved to see, how him and Armando talked again so easy, idk but yay for Armando, anyways, in that scene where Armando gets exposed, Don Roberto is very cold, so rude, he just wants to humiliate his son in front of everyone about his mistakes, i get that Armando ruined the company (in time record ah! AH! 30 years destroyed in less than a year, that’s a record! Congrats Armando, I’m not being sarcastic but also that’s so mean for my part, ily armando) but leaving him alone, suffering later on? Is it a lesson? idk, you all, I'm not a parent but uf, just judging from the beginning everything was so off, why competing for the presidency… I get that could be an easy solution but that could be misinterpreted in a lot of ways! I'm getting lost again from the point, sharing parents like that, competing for their love and approval, i believe that’s how Armando felt, so when I was seeing this fanvideo, how Armando once again was competing for someone’s love, that reminded me of his dad and Daniel…. Something I wrote months ago about this: “it was such a life changing moment/experience for him, he suffered, he was hurt about losing a love that he thought he could never find but he did and he was losing it, that’s why he’s desperate, he had never known love like that (I’m referring about before, Betty so kind and gentle, she risked everything for him, she was unconditional to him)” “he finally found this love with Betty, he feels loved and he feels bad about what he’s doing he knows he doesn’t deserve that love  but he’s going to ignore that and enjoy this moment, and when he begins to love her, he follows that weird and sick train of experience he has had with Marcela, because he doesn’t know other love, all he knows is Marcela’s love in the romantic line, so Armando begins to love betty and he feels entitled to her, he now thinks that he deserves betty because he loves her (I’m talking about that scene where Armando finally breaks up with Marcela and she says that she loves him and she knows she “deserves” him because of that……*poker face* and Armando saying something like that in the scene where they’re outside from el mesón de San Diego, he says that Nicolás doesn’t “deserve” her because he is the one who really loves her, yeah……), so when Betty starts to act cold and distant, he thinks “oh once again they’re leaving me or stop loving me” because they don’t want him and they chose someone else over him *laughing through the pain*, but this time he’s gonna fight! He’s going to fight for that love (ugh, once again parallels with Marcela…… these rich people made me sad, mom please take me out of here!)” me crying with my own thoughts, get me out of here, meaning, my mind, anyways, that’s it, love the angst, the analysis I’ve read about them in here and the ones I have on my mind, love being mentally ill, to end in a happy note, I believe both of them paid for every wrong they did, they changed for the better, they changed for themselves (how it should be!), they grew with each other….. and without each other *sobbing* and in the end, they still love each other because they never stopped, they’re soulmates and they’re gonna be together for eternity (they told me themselves!), xoxo

P. S. I love Marcela, I felt so sad for her, for everything that happened for her but sometimes I can’t stand her, her actions are cruel sometimes, (the only one who I can love above everything is Betty so get out of here), but I believe that her ending was hopeful, she finally let go of someone who wasn’t good for her anymore, someone who didn’t love her anymore, an obsession, a fantasy, she finally let go of that but also of a place that wasn’t a good environment, she still has a part of the company and she knows it’s going to be alright in B&A’s hands, Ecomoda™(the sequel) doesn’t exist for me, only the lovely scenes of them, also i believe that they should leave or never stayed in Ecomoda because it’s not a good place for them either, but anyways! At least they have jobs and money….. and love yeah, and each other *cries again* and a beautiful baby girl named after a character who we never saw but she’s in my heart, my faceless woman lol.

(also, omg Desesperado by José José a totally Armando song, uf my man, I feel his desesperation so deeply in my soul, somebody sedate me)

[link del fanvideo: https://youtu.be/v9M8nmMN22I]

🤡✨🤗✅ for the fanfic writer emoji asks?

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

The fic I wrote for Hestu’s Gift Exchange last year for @aquaticpal was probably the only one that got me to gut laugh, but some of the scenes in To Hold The Sun have made me laugh and the one spider battle scene in The Hands Life Dealt was also pretty funny. Oh, there was also the one scene from Collision Course where Revali ended up in a floorboard of a car and that also made me laugh just because of the visual alone. I’m a pretty humorous person, so it tends to leech over into my writing.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Ugh, I hate complimenting myself, it feels so… Conceited? Idk. I will admit that I am an excellent worldbuilder and that worldbuilding is something I really enjoy doing and have a passion for. Researching and crafting world structures and fictional cultures and religions.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Don’t be afraid to talk to people about your ideas. A lot of times when you get stuck or have plot holes, soundboarding and bouncing ideas off of other people will jog your brain into giving you ways to fix those things. And don't worry about people taking your ideas, nobody will write your ideas exactly like you anyways because every writer's voice is unique to them! When you start a new idea, think about your ‘End’ while you’re thinking about your ‘Beginning’ so that you know where to point the story to get to the ‘End’. I used to make the mistake of not knowing my ‘End’ and my writing almost always suffered bc I didn’t have a clear direction. Practice! Do writing sprints! Learn to turn off the part of your brain that critiques what you’re writing while you’re writing it, you can always come back and trim or edit or fluff later on, just get the words out of your brain so you can get to that final editing step! Be realistic with your time!! While it’s not necessary per say, I would HIGHLY encourage all writers to do at least one round of self-editing before publishing their writing. How that looks for me is I write something, don’t look at it for a whole week, then I go back to it with fresh eyes to trim, edit, and fluff as stated above. I personally will do 2-3 rounds of editing before posting any of my writing.

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Sun and Moon dichotomy. I just- I love the references in game and in stylization of Zelda being the sun and Link being the moon and then a bunch of other real world attributes of sun/moon dichotomy applied to it. Symbolism and dichotomy just make my heart do things in my chest.

Thank you for the ask! If you want to send in an ask, the promt list is HERE

💌

rereading thoughts: like salt from seawater - chapter 1 

@bisexualhobi​

Ana!! 

I’ve been so freaking slow rereading your story but I finished chapter 1 after a week of slowly making my through. I missed this story so much. I love love this hoseok. I was going to come back with my thoughts to you after reading the new and final chapter but I’ve been going so slowly and thinking so much, so I’m here now. 

I really like the pacing in the story. Everything doesn’t happen right away but it percolates and we keep going in small loops, getting closer and closer - like from the beginning when Hoseok first gets a comment on a photo to him actually posting and then the exploration of what he posts. Or like Namjoon and Hoseok circling each other, first accidentally and then through actions, gazes, then physical, and talking things through more and more. I just loved how the things Namjoon intuitively asked or commented about Hoseok were also things that he noted when he was taking pictures (like about his ankles and wrists and their daintiness). I just really liked that because it’s clear that this Hoseok wants someone to notice and care for him without having to say it on some level. Namjoon says that he can’t read Hoseok’s mind obviously but he’s also clear that it’s important to be watching out for Hoseok’s body language and non-verbal signals (he’s saying it about domming him, but their relationship isn’t just that physical part, all that stems from that connection between them)

These characters felt so full and real too. And not a one dimensional reading - especially when they’re exploring the sub/dom roles in sex. I liked how Hoseok was the one to initiate their first kiss but it was done in a way true to his characterization - like everything prior just bubbled up and he couldn’t contain himself anymore, he couldn’t stay still.

I melt with how Hoseok melts every time he’s called ‘baby’!! Your note at the beginning of the story about how it isn’t a pwp but a ‘story about all the things around and leading up to sex’ is super accurate. the sex is as hot as I remembered too! ugh I loved the dirty talk and how much Namjoon pushed with his words as much as his actions. (ugh don’t you wish it came that naturally in real life - although, I guess a big point is that these two are good friends and the point is that Namjoon pays attention to Hoseok, that he is listening so he knows where to push and where to stay still). It also felt real that even if Hoseok wasn’t experienced in all aspects of sex, it wasn’t like some kind of clueless fumble from him. (like when Namjoon fucks him for the first time and Hoseok says he’s never done that before, but it’s not something he needs to be coddled through. it’s a new experience and can be overwhelming, but it’s just so much honest that you wrote it through his feelings and sensations rather than a sort of ‘virginal’ way - idk if that made sense. but in my experience, the new stuff with sex doesn’t need to be treated with a lack of knowledge, pretending like you have no idea what to expect or hope for, shame, or like you have to actually do it to know anything about it. You didn’t make it a big deal in a societally puritanical way and that felt real in a good way.) Also I liked how Namjoon talked about the traffic light system - especially about a hard stop. Like it’s not about worrying someone will get offended but all about trust. Trust that your partner will communicate their limits and go aheads with you. Oh! and all the lead up to and then the dirty talk to Namjoon rimming him for the first time and how shy Hoseok was but so into it!!!! 

Hoseok’s circling thoughts about the seriousness of their relationship and how much it goes beyond fucking/if they’re on the same page felt raw in a good way. I just really like the way you write his thoughts. And the whole scene when Namjoon was sick and Hoseok was taking care of him was just so sweet!

the last line!!

Anyways, this got sooo much longer than I thought it would, but I hope it isn’t out of line to write so much to you this way. I’ll be off to reread the second chapter and I’m so psyched for the third one (and then write back in, hopefully that’s ok)!!! Thank you for the story Ana!! <3

MY BRINGERTON HOT TAKE

which isn’t really all of that hot. I’m going to sum up a little but i want to cover it all-ish. i really want to talk about polin but i don’t want to make a bunch of post so i’m going to toss everything into one. 

Season 1: I really liked it. I liked the subplots of this season better. I did like Simon & Daphne...aside from that one ugh scene that I had to FIGHT so many people about because they didn’t believe it. I can only remember Simon’s speech to The Queen as a stand-out relationship moment but the flirting was cute and all. 

Season 2: I liked the main couple better but the side plots of season 1 more. I’m glad I wasn’t on social media when season 2 first dropped because it would’ve been a headache. I know people saw Kate & Anthony got less time together BUT I remember them so much more and I can re-call various of scenes with them more than I can our S1 couple. The bee string with Kate, Anthony telling her to tell him no before Daphne came in, the game of pall mall and etc, I just felt more for the couple. 

Side note, also viewing S2, I like Daphne more as a side character who gives advice than a main lead. 

I’ll agree Kate should’ve gotten some more depth added by the end but I wasn’t unhappy (I didn’t even realize this was an issue until I joined fandom stuff because I just loved her so....)

All I’m going to say about Edwina is she’s not some evil bitch. Home girl is out here fighting in the streets but I liked her and I don’t mind ep 6 being mostly about her because LMAO SHE was the one getting married. SHE was the one who trusted her sister. SHE was the one who watched her sister and fiancé making love to each other standing at the alter. SHE was the one who found about the money last, SHE’s the one who was told there weren’t anymore secrets. 

So, yeah.  

Onto the meat of my topic! POLIN, it’s under a read more because there will be some book spoilers. 

I feel like I need to address a few things first. 

I know all of the characters in the show and in the book are mainly rich, privileged, spoiled, entitled people. I know most of their problems will be first world problems. I’ve accepted it that, I’ve accepted that I’ll have to relate the character flaws and ‘whinying’ and I say this, because it ties into my post overall but i’m going to roll my eyes if a rich character feels listless compared to their family because, well, this rich person is human and being rich doesn’t prevent them from feeling. 

TV POLIN:

Honestly, I’m here for it. I’m going to eat, no crumbs left. I can do friends to lovers. I got all of those ‘OOF’ feelings whenever Colin would say something sweet to Pen and then follow it up with “HEY BESTIE!” I like how Penelope is all heart eyes in a romantic way and Colin is heart eyes like ‘i love my little sis so much’

so, Pen as LW in the show is MILES extra than what she did as LW in the books. I was EEK. I’ll admit, ya girl doesn’t know how she’s gonna comeback from this. I mean, her apologizing, telling the Bridgeton family and etc all has to happen but I’m scared for her to come out as LW.  It’s life or death. In the books, that C girl finds out and they do whole reveal but with the Queen in it....hmm...maybe...they let the Queen in on it? Let her do the reveal, maybe she’ll be impressed that it was PEN of all of people who did it. Idk, I’m here for the romance. 

So for the romance. I don’t know how Colin & Pen will handle LW, so I won’t touch but this is what I will touch. HOT TAKE. DON’T HATE ME.

While Colin does need to say sorry and prove he’s sorry, I can’t do an entire season of him groveling at her feet while she plays hard to get. I say this because, while Colin was tactless and etc, I do get where he was coming from when he did it in two ways, one, the peer pressure and drinking with the guys and etc! But even more than that (two) as of right now, he really wouldn’t dream of courting of her. I think I took that scene in...is based off my real life, growing up, I had a guy bff and everyone would hit me with you like him and all and I’d be like NO, that’s my BFF. 

It’s obvious to see that Colin DOES care about Penelope, he values her, he looks out for her, he’s open in a way with her that he isn’t with his own family. I don’t think he meant it in a mean way but in his mind, they’re asking him about his bff, someone who could be like a little sister to him. I don’t think what he said is worth making him grovel for half a season. He does love Pen, just not in the way we want.

I think what I would like, is Colin starting look at Pen in the way society would sort of look at her. He isn’t supposed to be as comfortable he is with Pen, how he treats her like friend, how he doesn’t really dance/talk with other women outside his family. How, in his mind, saying what he said is harmless because everyone knows that they’re good friends but the issue is, men and woman *aren’t* really suppose to be friends in this era, at least until they reach a certain age. I’d like someone, like Violet or Daph or even Fran to have that talk with him. And maybe once he starts looking at her through that lens, he starts seeing her as a *woman* and not as Pen. 

I’d even like an episode or something of him, maybe, possibly, for whatever reason of him helping Pen find a boo and just harshly inspecting them all and he’s complaining about it at the breakfast table and everyone is gets it and just giggles and laughs at him.

OR 

Maybe a scene where someone is talking about the different types of loves, the different ways it can hit you and as the scene is going on and that person is talking to Colin or around, he see’s Pen and what they describe truly hit home for him and he starts to get it. And then he freaks out and panics and is like OHSHITIMINLOVEWITHPEN and he’s running around, freaking OUT. 

I’d like some real courting. It was too rushed in the books. This is a TV series so, give me the courting. Give me starting to court and taking a bet on how long it’ll take everyone to figure it out. 

Onto my next bit, which is more book related. Julia rushed Colin’s emotional journey too much. Which hurts me because I liked that! I like a guy from his period being that in touch with his emotions. Which leads me to my next point, I get it. He’s a white boy with money and is entitled. He’s liked by everyone and compared to Pen he has a lot going on. AND STILL.

The scene in which he’s being open and vulnerable, trusting her and she shits on it. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why she’s saying it, it’s just that it was resolved too easily for me. He doesn’t matter if he didn’t love her, it doesn’t matter if he’s more well liked. When you’re being open with someone and they shit on your feelings right after, when you’re putting your trust in them, that hurts. 

Which leads me too, I hope the show goes more in depth on that emotional journey. All aspects. Does he feel like he can’t go to his older brothers? Does he feel like he can’t be open with them like he was with Pen because on some level he knows it’s a petty problem (which, I don’t think it is, it’s a human thing.), is he scared of getting the same reason. How does their father’s death impact him? (And all of the siblings honestly.) In the books, there’s a throw away when he says he isn’t tall and brooding. It shows what type of person he thinks women are into and that he doesn’t see himself that way so he’s putting himself down. Why does it bother him to be known as charming fool and why would Pen see that as a compliment? (In the books, he mentions whistle down saying he was charming and it made him feel some type of way because is that *all* he is, is that the only way people see him.) I just think a few of things could be used in the show to go a little deeper into Colin, because compared to Pen, he hasn’t had that deep dive yet. 

And to transition to home girl, it’s funny, they don’t communicate GREAT as in not yelling but I like in the books they tend to get the problems out, right the and there. It might translate differently to the scene but I like the no-nonsense stuff. 

And to say, my girl Pen gives at good as she gets when given the chance. In the book and we’ve seen this in the show. I think Penelope needs to work on ownership most of all. In the books, LW wasn’t a big deal, LW wasn’t horrible and picked on mean people. In that sense, her being LW isn’t that big, but the SHOW OH BOY THE SHOW. 

Guys. Home girl fucked up. I’m rooting for home girl but she fucked up. 

This is getting too long and wordy so I’m gonna hide my thoughts under the cut but I’m talking about the most recently uploaded CoAi fic on ao3

The most recently uploaded CoAi fic on ao3 is making me feel a type of way and idk if it’s good or bad… like cool that the author is really a canon shipper? And was able to write for a ship that isn’t one they normally ship (in this case it’s almost the opposite considering we still have ship wars even though it’s 2023 people!)

I was very wary when I decided to take the plunge and read it cause I’ve been burned before and it pissed me off, but I did it to myself so I didn’t leave hateful comments cause again we are in charge of our own fandom experiences. No one forced me to read anything.

Anyways, it wasn’t awful? Like I really expected a lot of bashing towards my queen, but there wasn’t really… it was tagged correctly too like yeah definitely felt the ooc, but like it wasn’t terrible… idk I just don’t know what to make of it. Do I comment??? See this is why I like to keep my fangirling and writing separate, cause it was so much easier just being a reader and not have to deal with also being a fellow writer.

Ugh, idk man, I’m just confused. Cause on the one hand I did not like it enough to comment and I don’t force myself to when I didn’t vibe with it, but on the other I am just so fascinated! Like who are you? And why are you low key in my head?

Cause listen, I have debated with myself back and forth over whether or not to write the canon ship break up album fic (aka red cause that is a breakup album to the max which is why I don’t associate it with CoAi), and obviously I would tag the canon ship and make it clear that I am a CoAi shipper and yeah I would also post it anonymously but solely because I don’t want anything to do with the canon ship to show up on my writing profile. I’m not a multishipper and even if I was it certainly would never include the canon ship, the longer it drags on the more annoyed I get with them. So now that I see someone actually doing basically what I would’ve done but flipped, I’m like… idk man.

It feels weird, but I’m pro self indulgent writing and I know sometimes there are stories you want to tell even if it doesn’t fit your normal narrative. Like you guys will not believe how much I’ve had to push away all the scenes in the red album fic cause I can see it so vividly in my mind and I have it all plotted out in chronological order, literally it would be so easy to write for me. But I don’t do it and this is exactly why!

Like is this overstepping a boundary? I mean it’s weird right? But also who am I to stop someone from writing their story that they felt they had to get out? So then is it really okay for me to do so too… but this is one single fic. Mine would be a collection of 29 (31 if I include eyes open and safe and sound but the original plan did not have those, cause I think hunger games when I hear them) song fics. If I’m feeling weird over one fic from a canon shipper, I can only imagine how weirded out they would feel about me posting a 29 (31?) chaptered fic with the big disclaimer that hey, I’m a CoAi shipper who’s just here again and again.

Look I preach basic fandom etiquette, ship and let ship, stay in your lane. The two most important rules, besides the whole not being a dick rule that everyone should just follow as a general guide in life. Would I be staying in my lane if I did write the red album fic the way I envisioned? Is this why I’m feeling conflicted over this anonymous canon shipper posting their fic? Idk, and there really isn’t a right answer. But it does make me want to reach out and pick their brain, like what courage must you have to do this and to care enough about this story that you had to put out. I applaud you for that, and I’m glad you did it. Cause again I’m all about self indulgent writing, but didn’t it feel awful to write this too?

Cause the big difference between this fic and the one I want to write is that this canon shipper gave CoAi a happy ending. I am not so gracious, red is the ultimate breakup album to me so it will not end well for the canon ship, the last song is literally All Too Well ten minutes version, come on. There’s no way this ends well if this is the song for the last chapter.

But it’s not like I can tag it CoAi when it literally would have almost nothing to do with them. It’s a very Ran centric fic and all about her woes with her doomed romance with her childhood sweetheart. I hate when people tag multiple ships, like yeah I get it cause they’re mentioned and it does talk about them, but I’m not a multi shipper and I strictly read fics for my ship. Specifically ones that end well for them, so I really don’t like clicking onto a fic only to find that my ship doesn’t end up together or worse, the canon ship stays canon.

Again though, it’s my own preference and I don’t go around making it the author’s problem cause it’s their fic. I could’ve clicked out at any point, there’s no need to leave nasty comments or talk shit. Clearly it wasn’t written for me, I can’t appreciate it, I’m not the target audience.

Okay yeah I think I’m leaning towards staying put and not writing my fic. I’ve no doubt I could write it just fine, but who is this for? Me? Cause I don’t even want it since I get so triggered by the canon ship now a days. Case in point look at how long this rant got. Really who would even want to read this fic? One person if I’m lucky, so it’s not worth it. Granted I’ve never cared and still don’t care about who reads my fics. I write primarily for myself, and if just the thought of possibly writing it is stressing me out this much then I should just keep it buried. But it’s always in the back of my mind, just pestering me. Ugh.

Phew okay that was so much projecting, and I don’t even feel any better. This was just a lot of rambling and for basically nothing cause I’ve resolved nothing. Anyways, whoever you are canon shipper author, I’m happy for you. It really is dope that you decided to tell this story even though it’s not your ship. Okay time for sleep now

STRANGER THINGS 4 SPOILERS

im finally chillen and got rid of my headache, time to put my opinions about st4 nobody will read in this post

okay first of all lucas and max are the superior party members this season, lucas chasing after max was super sweet and he also led those basketball dudes to the wrong address and escaped to get back w his friends and idk i just love that he realized what he really wanted. i also think him skipping hellfire club wasn’t such a big deal because he was trying to make things better for his friends and that’s sweet despite what anyone else thinks. Totally valid for him not wanting to be bullied anymore like I was happy for him.

w the older kids, Steve felt kinda OFF this season like I love his character sm but I felt like he was always complaining about things his relationship w dustin was on the rocks but I did love that intro scene with robin and how open they are about their crushes n shit like that was truly adorable I love that their so open w robin’s sexuality, as a lesbian it means so much and I love how we’ve seen more of her personality this season and she talks sm and overthinks sm she’s just like me fr I really connect w her character. and then there’s EDDIE, my beloved I love his character so much from his very first scene like he was so nice to Mike and Dustin you can see he really cares ab them and he’s just overall super fucking cool. Nancy once again carried the season I loved her a lot more this season than last season I love her ambition she’s so determined and she’s just a badass she got lots of screen time and if there’s one thing she’s gonna do it’s figure it tf out!

Okay onto the California crew, I FOUND MYSELF YELLING AT THE TV ABOUT ELEVEN LIKE THATS MY BABY IF YALL DON’T LEAVE HER ALONE. I’ll say it a million times, Angela deserved that and El is gonna need more therapy than ever. Just I feel so horrible for her and being reunited w PAPA like ???? Ok no explanation about him coming back from the dead no flashback scene like ok we just had to move on so quick lmao. Fuck him! Fuck this redemption arc they’re trying I hate him forever. Mike and El’s reunion was cute at first but it made me so sad El lied to him and she didn’t even see anything wrong w it like girl has been bullied for too long she’s losing her CONFIDENCE and Mike isn’t helping he literally only knows how encourage her by talking ab her powers like she’s a whole complex human not a weapon. Mike was annoying as hell all the episodes he was in and then there’s Will, I was really hoping I’d like him this season but I don’t for one specific reason and it’s because every time El was publicly humiliated he stood by and watched LIKE IDGAF U NEED TO HELP HER THAT’S YOUR SISTER AND FRIEND. FUCK. He pissed me off so bad I gave him a pass the first time and it went on and on and he just STOOD THERE. Like he is so far down on my list of favorite characters this season LMAO.

AND THEN MURRAY VISITING JOYCE, HIGHLIGHT OF MY YEAR LIKE UGH RESCUING HOPPER THEY ARE SO AMAZING AND BRAVE NOTHING BUT LOVE THEY ARE SUCH BADASSES UGH I JUST HOPE THEY MAKE IT OUT OF THE PRISON WITHOUT ANYTHING FROM THE RUSSIANS

So lots of people have asked me to share the video of my question to Misha being stopped by Creation. I wanted to make sure before I posted it, I was able to get her face blurred because I didn’t want to doxx anyone. 

So a little background - I waited in line during the previous panel letting all the people with questions for Mark go ahead of me to make sure I got a place in line for Misha. Turns out I was first! Between the panels, the Creation person walked away for a moment and when she came back she forgot to ask me what my question was so it took her by surprise when I said it was about the confession scene. 

This video shows her saying no and shaking her head then turning around pissed off when Misha said I could ask my question. It’s blurred so it kind of dulls the seething anger and eyeroll but still gets the idea across. 

When she said no I purposely said “I can’t ask about the confession?” into the mic cause fuck that! I purposely crafted my question so that it shot down Jared’s stupid response that they were just friends or bros (or a guy who gave him a million dollars??? IDK it was incohesive rambling) by stating that Cas knew he had Dean’s friendship, brotherhood, and forgiveness. I think Misha did the best he could with the answer and I believe he was telling me that he played it as romantic love because he has already said that he played it as a declaration of homosexual love, which is about love not necessarily sex. 

Also, they immediately turned off my mic after I asked the question. I had to yell thank you at the end for him to hear me. Ugh!

For anyone unaware of what’s going on, here is the video facing the stage so you can see Misha and hear his whole response. Mine is the first question (and I didn’t say he was my 3rd favorite FFS, I said he was my very favorite).

https://youtu.be/kj9LkmiNh-4

I hope seeing it out there this blatantly inspires others to ask their questions (as long as they do so in an appropriate way and not be gross and demanding - yes, I’m talking about the ‘dance for me’ lady). Go forth and talk about what is canon in the show!!!

Like Unrequited IV

Part ONE | Part TWO | Part THREE | Part FOUR 

pairing : heeseung x fem!reader / sunghoon x fem!reader 

genre : angst/fluff. bulleted. 

warnings : hmm, swearing. a little bit of a scuffle. 

summary : where the curse of unrequited is given to another. 

It was almost night time when you and Sunghoon dawdled into a Subway together 

Hungry from just walking through the city 

Getting to talk to each other about the randomest things 

Playing little games 

Not letting go of his hands once 

You didn’t really want to

His hands felt nice in yours and after the shittiest couple of months you just had 

You wanted to be selfish 

You wanted to hold a hot guy’s hand when the air was getting colder, roaming around and being the teenager all those Pinterest boards motivated you for 

He pressed his lips together as he recognised the music playing 

He turned towards you 

Pumped up on the adrenaline of the cool air outside 

You picked out the cookies you wanted to try 

Collecting almost a baker’s dozen 

You turned towards him to ask a question 

It wasn’t really important anyway 

Because when you looked at where he was sitting 

He was smiling at you, wiggling his eyebrows and shimmying his shoulders to the beat a little 

You danced a little in reply 

And it felt like all the possible magic in the world surrounded you in this moment 

Time wasn’t really time 

You had felt a similar type of way once (with Heeseung) but this was different 

You truly felt it this time 

There was no fear of rejection or fear of the unknown 

You didn’t really care 

Not with Sunghoon anyway 

You grabbed the cookies with a sweet smile which was surprisingly returned from the owner 

You still wore it as you approached Sunghoon 

‘What are you smiling at?’ 

Sunghoon asked, his expression somehow mirroring yours 

You decide to be brave 

‘You.’ 

‘Me?’ 

‘You.’ 

He licked his lips, grasping your hand in his again and braving the cold wind together 

The two of you were acting all mushy when you returned through the school doors 

It wasn’t as free as being outside at night time was but- you two were stuck together  

Your friends watched you both in the corner of their eye but didn’t say anything

However 

Ryujin being Ryujin 

Made a comment about it 

‘This....This is feeling a little grosser. More sappy if you get what I mean. So are you dating yet or what?’ 

It went a little quiet 

Uhm 

You both looked at each other 

And didn’t say a single word 

Ryujin raised her eyebrows and chuckled a little before staring at the little shit in the corner 

.. 

She grabbed Heeseung’s collar and yanked him upright 

‘Oi, get up, you sick bastard’ 

Ryujin pulled him to the side whilst he grimaced at his messed up clothes 

She stood in front of him 

‘You fucked up didn’t you?’ 

He pursed his lips 

‘Don’t you know about it already?’ 

‘No, Y/N knows I’d fuck you up if you did something wrong.’ 

‘Then how come-’ 

‘I can tell by your face, and the fact you’re sulking in the fucking corner.’ 

‘I just- I don’t know what I’m feeling and she’s with Sunghoon all the time and I feel like I’m losing her and it’s driving me crazy, Ryujin’ 

‘Is it possible that you’ve liked her this whole time?’ 

‘That’s crazy. If I liked her, I would be dating her by now.’ 

Ryujin sighed 

‘I doubt it. I don’t think you even realise that you didn’t actually like that girl.’ 

‘- Okay fair point. But I think if I liked Y/N, I would know, at least.’ 

‘....Think of it this way, Imagine dating me.’ 

Heeseung shivered 

‘No thanks.’ 

‘You don’t have to be a bitch about it.’ 

‘Sorry but’ 

He clenched his teeth together 

‘See? And how did you reject Y/N? Did you even think about what she was saying to you? Did you let yourself actually process it and make a decision actually based on your feelings?’ 

Heeseung nodded, barely looking at her 

‘So stop the bullshit.’ 

‘You’ve liked her this whole time and it’s time for you to realise what you could’ve had.’ 

‘I could still have it.’ 

He was adamant but not confident 

‘You could’ 

Ryujin admitted

‘But, for now, you can’t.’

She offered a sweet smile as she said he next words 

‘I won’t tell you I was rooting for you, because I wasn’t, not really. None of these boys are deserving of her. But I guess you’re marginally tolerable. A little less tolerable than Sunghoon, and honestly, that relationship is a lot easier to digest. But you’re not terrible.’ 

‘Thanks’ 

Ryujin clicked her tongue as she sauntered back inside, collecting his chair to drag it back to the group. 

Where it belonged. 

Heeseung dawdled as he slid into the seat next to you where Ryujin had left it 

You were focused on what Jay was saying to you and Sunghoon looked like he was ready to punch him 

But when he finally sat down

You barely looked at him as you reached over to squeeze his wrist 

Forgiven 

Slightly 

But expected to suck up to you a lot more 

Jake poked Sunghoon’s cheek to focus on you, rather than Heeseung next to you 

It wasn’t that hard to do 

‘Ugh, you’re so whipped.’ 

‘Shut up.’ 

You pull Sunghoon dramatically into the library - ditching the last class of the day 

He looked at you confusedly before scoffing at the surroundings 

‘Is there any particular reason why you’re pulling me into the library?’ 

You pretend to ponder for a second before a grin takes over your face 

‘Just one’ 

You feel a lot less coy now, instead you’re overtaken with nervousness but not one that feared rejection 

You were determined 

A little nervous 

But fuelled by the way he was looking at you and how pretty he was 

And the boy you haven’t stopped thinking about 

Your hands find purchase on his cheeks, where you find has become a habit between the two of you in the past week or so 

He watches you with soft eyes,

He doesn’t quite know exactly what you’re doing 

But he has hope swimming behind his pupils and it drives his heart a little wild

When you press your lips against his for the first time, his heart feels like it’s going to explode out of his chest and paint the whole library red 

His hands find themselves supporting the back of your head as he leans further into you 

The movements between you are slow, sweet and almost dreamlike 

His lips are soft and when your tongues meet, it surprises you that you’re not disgusted by it 

Instead you welcome it 

He angles your head upwards with his thumbs pressing lightly on your jawline 

He smiles when he feels the heat on your cheeks and just how flushed they’ve become 

You need to breathe 

But you refuse to 

He pulls away, his eyes dancing between you both and with a giddiness 

‘At a library of all things, Y/N.’ 

You let out a real lovesick giggle as you go to pinch his elbow 

You were happy 

Sunghoon was happy 

But a boy in the corner, who had been watching the whole thing doesn’t feel the same 

Instead he feels regret, sadness, frustration 

All of it leeching of the happiness he was supposed to feel for you 

‘This is giving me a little deja vu.’ 

The voice pulls him from the scene and instead has him focusing on the boy beside him 

Heeseung has never talked to Jake properly before 

Jake is closer to Sunghoon than he is to Heeseung 

And Heeseung never felt the need to get to know him on a deeper level 

Because Heeseung had hoped that they were temporary 

‘He really likes her. You know? He may be shit stirring, he probably was. Don’t get me wrong. But he sincerely likes her. She’s in good hands.’ 

Heeseung sighs 

‘..I know that now.’ 

Jake looks at him with kindness, swirling with warmth and comfort but it had a hint of something underneath 

Warning 

‘Good.’ 

Jake reaches over, cradling Heeseung’s head in the wing of his arms 

‘If you’re up for it. I know a great place to eat.’ 

‘I’d like that.’ 

Heeseung smiles, even when he doesn’t really want to 

He looks back at the two of you 

And this is all he can do 

Just like that, like unrequited takes a new host. 

authors note : this was fun :) originally it wasn’t supposed to have this many chapters, it was just gonna be a one-shot kind of thing but idk it just had a mind of its own. :) i have a lot of confessions about this too <3 I’d probably post an authors confessions soon too. ALSO thanks for the 100 followers. 

Why didn’t you say anything? PART TWO

JJ Maybank

Warnings: cussing, abuse , sexual assault , bleeding

SHORT! But yeah I’ve been needing to post this. I plan on a part 3 to finish it off.

It’s been a week or so since the incident happened. JJ rushed out that day, luckily never finding rafe. You haven’t seen him either during the time, thankfully.

John b was absolutely pissed off, devoting to drop you off and pick you up from work.

You were pulling up to the wreck for your shift. You turn to give your brother a hug.

“I can’t pick you up tonight. I will find someone to be here though.” You stare at him.

“Why can’t you just get me?”

“ because i have plans with Sarah.” You scoff rolling your eyes. Ever since him and Sarah got together, it’s all about her. Barely having time for me or anything. The only reason he’s dropping me off is because he feels bad.

You slam his van door shut making your way to the front.

You give kie’s dad a wave as you clock in. You tying your apron on. You turn back around eyes connecting with topper, rafe, and kelce.

JJ has been overprotective to the max, hating he couldn’t have been there to protect me. You quickly rush off to the bathroom, pulling your phone out.

Big head : rafe top and kelce are here at work

Big head: idk what to do

Big head: ugh I don’t wanna fucking be here

Shit head: tell your boss u don’t feel good

Shit head: I get off in 20 I’ll walk to your work

Big head: okay I’ll try one sec

You head out to your boss. Luckily there was two other girls working tonight.

“Hey, I really wasn’t feeling well right now. Is it okay if I just go home? I thought I’d be fine but I really do not feel good.” You lie through your teeth.

Kie dad smiles, “you are fine, y/n. Go get some rest.”

You thank him and rush off outside. You decided to wait out back , hoping to avoid rafe and them.

You sat puffing on your vape, waiting for your boyfriend to arrive.

“Hey pogue.” Rafe called out, your blood running cold.

You stood up facing him. “What do you want rafe?”

He smirked down at you, “you and me have some unfinished business.”

You back up as he stepped closer. “No we don’t. You were drunk and a fucking dick.”

He clicked his tongue, “nah, see the thing is. You are a dirty low life slut. Who is just waiting to get put in her place.” He laughed as he lunged forward slamming you against the building.

The back area was secluded, leaving you out of sight from the others.

Race’s hand was around your throat, your breathing uneven.

“I can tell, JJ definitely hasn’t put you in his place. I bet he can’t even make you feel good.” His free hand roamed your waist. Coming down to squeeze your ass.

Your hands push at his chest, “why the fuck do you have some obsession with me? Why can’t you bother anyone else?” You glare up at him.

“For a pogue, I think you are fine. Especially if you were on your knees.”

You wanted to vomit. JJ should be here any minute. Why can he not come any faster.

“JJ will be here any minute, if you don’t fucking leave he will-“

Rafe backhands you making you stumble to the side. “I don’t give a fuck about your piece of shit boyfriend, y/n. Is he here? No? Didn’t think so.”

You tasted the blood that escapes your busted lip. You gathered the saliva up on your mouth before turning to spit at him.

“The fuck is going on here?” JJ voice called out. Rafe wiped the spit off his face.

“Just having a little fun here with your pogue.” You glance up at JJ, tears in your eyes.

JJ slammed rafe against the building. “Oh so you got a thing for hitting girls? Huh?” He punched him in the stomach.

Top and kelce came around the corner, have they been there this entire time?

You immediately ran to get in front of them.

“Topper! No!” Topper pushes you to the side making you slam into the pipe sticking out. He went to grab JJ but he turned and punched him.

You hit your head really hard on the pipe, you stood up dazed a little. You pushed forward, jumping on top of rafes back.

“Fucking stop!” You scream as you and rafe fall the ground.

JJ now had topper in a chokehold. Rafe easily flipped you over. He pulled you up, mirroring JJ actions. You struggled for air as you stared into JJ eyes.

“Let her fucking go!” He yelled gripping topper harder.

“It’s your move broski.” Rafe mimicked JJ line. Tears fell down your face.

“I’ll let your boy go, once your fucking hands are off her.” JJ voiced.

Rafe laughed behind me, “she’s a fucking pathetic slut, you want her?” He shoved you forward, landing with a thump.

“There you go.”

JJ let go of topper before moving forward, clean cocking Rafe. Rafe whole body flies back with a thud.

“DONT fucking touch my girl, twinkle toes.” He spit on Rafe before turning to me, helping me up.

You let out a sob, holding on his shirt as he walked you away from the scene.

He stopped for a second grabbing your face.

“I am so sorry, I am so fucking sorry baby. I should’ve left earlier. I will kill that son of bitch for touching you. “

You cried harder, “thank you for saving me.”

“This isn’t over.” He kissed your forehead.

idk how many people would even want to see this BUT i wanna yell about Leela and Brax so here's a list of all their scenes togethr/scenes pertainng to them that i can recall (pLEASE add on if i missed anything/ you have any additional thoughts!! i could talk about these two all day!)

right off the bat in Weapon of Choice when Leela is on the outskirts of the Citadel and Brax goes to bring her back (which is interesting in and of itself, bc usually i would imagine a chancellery guard would go do that so what made Brax decide to instead??), Leela kinda goes off at him bc she's hurting and instead of trying to actually explain what's going on Brax doesn't even try to argue he just says "we need you" which is great bc Leela has that instinctive desire to be needed and to help people and he's speaking right to that -- also as far as we know, this is Leela and Brax's first actual meeting in canon? it's implied that they know of each other, which makes sense, but it doesn't seem like they've ever directly interacted before: Brax seems almost slightly uncertain, and Leela is combative, but when he's gentle with her she's actually quite receptive

the literal next scene after that, where the OT4 is all in one room for the first time (they still kinda hate each other at this point but still !!!). Narvin explaining Gryben and being a real jerk about it and Leela (understandibly!) questions if Gryben is a prison world, and Brax (who to this point has been mostly quiet as Narvin and Romana brief Leela) jumps in to both clarify Narvin's previous xenophobic statements while also maintaining the inherent questionable/negative connotations

(btw it's actually pretty important to note that Romana self-edits herself a lot when talking to Leela, especially in the earlier seasons; you can actually hear her revising the things she says to put it in terms that she thinks Leela will better understand. and i mean she does it out of genuine consideration for her friend associate but it often comes across as varying levels of patronizing. Narvin also obviously "dumbs things down" when dealing with Leela early on, but like... Brax never does that on any level. the only difference i can tell in how he addresses Leela vs how he talks to anybody else is that he seems much more kind with her than almost anyone else???)

their conversation about the Matrix in The Inquiry: this is REALLY important (and if you've ever talked to me on ao3 i've probably gone off to you about it lol) because it's layered. they're talking about the Matrix but they're also not because in answering Leela's question Brax is making a very thinly veiled allegory (which he outright states a minute later) to Time Lord society/politicians/most importantly HIMSELF -- he's actually strangely open about his morals/beliefs in this scene and i'm living for it tbh -- and i find it very interesting that even though he does directly explain what he means ("how do you know all this?" / "because i am a politician.") he also leaves it for Leela to work out the implications. like it's a very nuanced conversation bc there's double meaning in it and most people on Gallifrey seem to think that Leela is tone-deaf and can't pick up on that stuff (even Romana sometimes oversimplifies things to her) but Brax totally just lets her take from it what she will bc he believes her intelligent enough to understand. he doesn't think her any lesser because she's human.

ALSO on a secondary note to the above: the fact that Leela has a question/needed clarification (sorry, haven't listened to this in a while i forget how it actually happened) and actively sought out Brax to talk to about it?? like she knows Romana better she could have gone to her but i feel like Leela kinda imprinted on Brax and someone she can go to for help if she needs it; maybe it's partly bc she knows he's under marginally less pressure than Romana is but also the truth of the matter is that Brax was the most genuinely helpful person to her in the previous stories and that probably means a lot to her (esp. bc he acts like the essence of everything she hates about Gallifrey but he doesn't treat her the way she would expect from that). btw this topic is gonna come up again in a hot minute

that part where Brax gives her that information that might help her re: the Andred thing, even though he really probably shouldn't have done that -- it kinda makes me think about what he must have been like with Theta tbh???

actually this is mostly my own conjecture but there's some neat stuff in Spirit bc during the *waves hand vaguely* bodyswap dream sequence thing, Romana is very "!!!! Brax can help us !!!" which is tecnically Leela brain talking, so like there's the implications of the stuff i've said above about Leela having this idea of Brax where she knows he's someone she can go to for help

can u tell i'm soft for them

Leela sounding really sad/distracted when she talks about how Brax isn't there YES i'm grasping at straws but a lot of this relationship really is conveyed through the voice acting bc of how little direct focus there is on the characters. there's actually several scenes in Mindbomb where she mentions him and she outright says that she misses him during her discussion with Matthias

that implied scene with them in Mindbomb!! i have a Lot of thoughts about that!!! it's all conjecture and fanfic fodder!!! but the reason i mention this is because it seems pretty meta that out of the whole Gally Gang, it's Leela who first sees Brax when he comes back to Gallifrey and in turn she's the first person (besides Matthias, i guess) that he sees upon his return?? idk i just feel like that's somehow a meaningful detail??? also her reaction of utter shock after spending the entire episode missing him and how worked up she is when she tries to tell Romana, like I desperately need to know what happened in this missing scene MR RICHARDS PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED

Leela insisting on going with Brax when Pandora starts hurting him and their whole conversation there is just. so good. like they're both just so soft and then when Darkel comes in Leela instantly goes into protective mode. like they just have such an open relationship bc Brax doesn't even try to be all pretentious with her, like he doesn't even try to keep up any facades when he's with her he's just very genuine and it really says a lot about both of them -- Leela is so good at seeing people, like getting down to the core of who people are and what makes them them (which is why she's good for Romana, btw, bc Romana has a lot of identity issues) and Brax is so tangled up in who he presents himself as that he barely knows who he actually is anymore but Leela can see that and she makes it so he can truly be himself and he doesn't have to hide. also she's so gentle with him when they talk about Pandora, she's very caring and empathetic and wants to make sure he's okay and i am WEAK

it's been a hot while since i listened to Panacea but I think i remember Brax being really soft with Leela when he first brings the gang to the Axis, like just sounding really glad to see her

ok other than the fact that Brax is lowkey relatable in Reborn (daydreaming fanfic about yourself/people you know? simping for Mary Tamm Romana? yeah mood, my man) there's that scene where they're first appraoching the Citadel on the alt!Gallifrey and it seems like none of them, and Brax specifically, have seen it from the outside in a good long while bc he's very in awe and he tells Leela that he wishes she could see it and he sounds sO hEcKiNg sOFT oh my word-

and once again with Leela thinking of Brax as someone she trusts for help: in Dissassembled when everything is going to crap she straight-up says that she wants to go find Brax bc he'll know what to do/be able to help

at the beginning of Annihilation when Romana is depressed and questioning if Brax truly was her friend and Leela INSTANTLY, NO HESITATION assures her that he was; i lost where i had her exact lines written down but she actually kinda goes off to make sure Romana gets the point

literally forcing myself to talk about this bc it makes my brain stall out but like,,, the Brax Hound in Annihilation,,, Leela being like "goodbye, Braxiatel... again" she sounds so sad and like UGH i always kinda forget how sad it actually is for them to lose Brax in Dissassembled bc like, it was so sudden and they didn't get to say goodbye and Leela is always losing people and i have many many feels about this scene and how all that emotion is made very clear in how they each respond to the Hound (might make a separate post abt this later if anyone is interested ::eyes::)

Enemy Lines is utter bullcrap about these two and I will never stop being salty about how they not only sidelined the very good, very subtle friendship they had in s1-4, but they??? made Leela acutally not trust Brax??? when literally this entire time she's been the one person who probably genuinely trusts him the most?? what the heck, David

I haven't heard TW3 or 4 yet but i'm assuming there's nothing worthwhile in those with regards to this duo (correct me if i'm wrong tho lol, i would love to be mistaken in this assumption)

TL;DR Leela and Brax mututally imprinted on each other and have probably the most open and healthy relationship within the OT4 and it is an absolute CRIME that nobody besides Gary Russell and Justin Richards cared enough to actually build on it in canon

Hey! So I really enjoy your two cents on every Good Girls topic so I’m hoping you can weigh in on the S2 Brio kiss (or point me in the direction of a post if you already have done this!). When the ep first aired I remember twitter was full of people saying they hated the kiss cos it was awkward etc. I don’t get into the dramas like the cast not getting along etc (I mean I find Rio hot as fuck but Manny’s instagram presence makes me want to yeet him off the planet)…so I took the scene for what it was and there was a lot i liked about it: i.e. the broad daylight, Beth leaning in first, the tugging each others clothes off. Would love to get your take!

omg i LOVE how awkward the kiss is tbh. like, think about it:

this is, if not beth's second first kiss, her first first kiss in over twenty years, girls gonna be rusty, right?

i think one of the best things the scene captured is how fragile that moment was, between the way manny and christina play it and the resounding silence, the way they let the ambient noise shine (you can hear the buttons on beth's coat hit the floor, the floorboards creak when she leans in and kisses him the first time, the click of the latch when she shuts the door is loud af, the wet noise when they pull back after the first kiss??????? the sound dept really went tf off with this one and i love that for us)

the whole scene makes me feel like i'm holding my breath right up until i'm not

and also like, this is the cumulative build up of months of lingering stares and personal space issues and intense fascination and growing respect and (grudging, maybe) affection and tension and want

and i v much mean on both their ends

beth's nervous af, idk if i would say rio's nervous but he's definitely aware and tentative in a way we've ever seen him

he's v v carefully letting beth make the first move every step of the way, even when he meets her in the middle of the room and leans in, he waits for her to cross the dividing line between them

(ugh and the way she keeps pausing and looking at him like she's looking for his reaction because she's always looking for his reaction but also like she's waiting for him to move in and take over because he also does that too but he's not because this is different this isn't business it's personal, the most personal they've ever been)

and even when she does he still waits and lets her drive the moment

(the only time he crosses it, well, until, is when he pushes her hair back which is their thing and even if maybe he started doing it to mess with her bc lets be real he started doing everything he does to mess with her, i also think at some point it started being real and he meant it in 213 when he said he likes doing it and i think that's why he tried to do it in 303 to prove that it didn't mean anything anymore but he also couldn't touch her face bc it did and it does mean something and i cRY but that is a whole entire tangent)

but he waits for her right up until he can't anymore and he lunges because he's been waiting for and wanting this just as much as she has

i truly do not have words to describe what the lunge does to me, tbh

like he waits and waits and waits and then breaks

and then it's messy because both of them are just like, completely overwhelmed and undone by the fact that this is happening

i love the way beth's hand flutter around like she has absolutely no idea what to do with him or where she wants to touch him first and is completely unequipped to figure it out or deal with it so she just kind of flits from shoulders to

and he's just holding on to her and going for it because oh my god after all this time it's happening and it's real (except it's not but also it is and again i cRY)

oh god and the brEATHING

i should send the sound dept a gift basket tbh. a tasteful edible arrangement or something, they really understood the assignment here

(the lighting dept gets coal bc as much as i love the whole backlit silhouette thing thematically it is the WOST THING TO GIF)

so anyway, yeah, there's a lot going on and personally i love tf out of the awkwardness bc much like that ambient sound, it just makes it that much more raw and real and vulnerable and it makes me want to tear out my hair and run around screaming at the top of my lungs

Will’s fear of clowns

*Ps -not mine. this is a submission from an anon. tw: for s.a. It’s an interesting submission. ANON-please make a tumblr account already . I’m begging you XD

Hi! It’s me, Lonnie Meth Anon. Back with more depressing thoughts about Lonnie!

I just read your post on Jonathan’s ab*se at the hands of Lonnie, and I second it all. It breaks my heart. But it also got me thinking deeper about Will’s fear of clowns. I think you’re right that part of the horror for Will is that the clown attacks in bed. The bed is, obviously, like you say, a common site for s*xual assault. (Doesn’t El’s picture of “three legged Brenner” also have a bed in it? In a picture with not much else?) The fact that Will needed Joyce to sleep with him for a week suggests he was specifically feeling unsafe in bed, or at night. 

But maybe it’s not just the location of the attack in Poltergeist that Will found so harrowing. Maybe it’s the combination of that location with the fact of a clown being the attacker. 

I think Lonnie might have dressed up as a clown for Will’s birthday one year, and something happened. 

In this instance, I don’t think Joyce would know what happened. I think the incident in her mind would be something like “Lonnie dressed up and Will was scared of the costume”. She might even have thought it was cute. Just a typical little kid fear of something mundane. When she teases him about Poltergeist, she doesn’t actually say the movie was the START of his fear of clowns. Just that he was afraid of that particular clown. The general fear of clowns could have been an older one, going back to when Will was even younger.

Maybe Will even liked clowns, before whatever happened with Lonnie turned them into a source of fear for him. Will has a lion plushie (lions are commonly found in the circus) and the circus seems like the kind of vibrant, colorful environment full of outcast, that a young gay kid would really enjoy. If Will did like circuses and Lonnie poisoned that for him, that’s just another reason to hate Lonnie. But it definitely seems possible. 

Lonnie is a deadbeat dad in general, but we’ve seen before that he’s capable of faking the “family man” act in front of Joyce and their neighbors. We’ve also seen that even though he treats Will horribly, he would also try and keep Will on his side with father son bonding activities, like baseball. And Will’s birthday is one of the few occasions Lonnie makes a half-assed kind of effort, even when there’s nothing directly in it for him. He sends that card, even though it’s late. Maybe Joyce made called him up and made him send it, but she always seemed happy to keep Lonnie out of the picture. She didn’t even want to involve him when Will went missing. And we know Jonathan would never try and facilitate more interactions between Lonnie and Will. So it seems like Lonnie did this of his own accord, when he realized he’d missed the day. Kind of weird. And it’s classic abuser behavior, to make contact on an anniversary date, reminding you they exist and you can’t escape them. Reminding you to keep quiet. Or hoping you’ll miss them, remember the “good times” when they made an effort, and let them back into your life. (Ugh.)

So, anyway, back to my theory. Young Will likes circuses, and the Byers family are poor, so they can’t afford to take him to one, or throw him a party at an ice cream parlor or a bowling alley, like other kids. It makes sense that they would have a party at home instead, and that the family themselves might dress up. We know Joyce made Will’s Ghostbusters costume in season two, and a clown is a pretty easy costume. Most of it is just make up. It’s possible the whole thing was Joyce’s idea, and she made the costume, and Lonnie just went along with it to look like a good dad in her eyes. 

Remember how we see Bob (Will’s new father figure) dressing up in costume for Halloween? Joyce loves it. This is a thing good dads do, to have fun with their kids. That’s also the same episode we see Will scared by a guy in a clown costume, and Jonathan is hyper-protective of him that night. School is okay, but he doesn’t want him trick or treating. (Like he knows that school is a safe environment, but in other contexts, costumes and parties might be a trigger for Will.) Jonathan is convinced to leave Will and “let him have fun” and what happens? The clown attacks. Later that night Jonathan goes to a costume party himself, where he finds Nancy upset and takes her safely home.  Maybe this is how Will’s birthday party ended - with Jonathan finding Will upset, and trying to comfort him. The whole night could be playing out like a parallel to that birthday party, from Jonathan’s perspective. 

What actually happened with Will and Lonnie is up for debate. It’s possible there was a s*xual assault, and that’s why the clown scene in Poltergeist was such a trigger for Will. Or maybe Lonnie thought circuses weren’t “manly” enough for his son to like, and actively tried to scare Will, so he wouldn’t like them anymore. It’s hard to know. Something would have happened though, and probably something pretty formative, because the fear of clowns lasts a long time. 

Something else interesting is that when Mr Clarke is talking about the Upside Down in season one, he uses the metaphor of the flea and the acrobat. Acrobats are a main act in the circus, and, well … fleas. Flea circuses. That’s a thing. Maybe it’s a hint that the trauma that created the Upside Down was circus / clown - related?

Kali, El, and their gang wear clown masks too, when they’re going to confront their childhood trauma, and the child-like Alexei is surrounded by clowns when he is killed at the fair. 

Clowns are just so associated with birthday parties and little kids, that it doesn’t seem like a coincidence to me they’re Will’s biggest fear. Especially as the show keeps dropping hints about Lonnie and Will’s birthday. It feels like there’s more to the story. I have a horrible feeling SOMETHING happened. 

RESPONE (kaypeace):

I think it’s very possible-that maybe he did dress as a clown for Will’s birthday and something happened. We have alexi (paralleled to Will) playing carnival games with kids. Then he's attacked by the Lonnie-look alike : and alexi looks at his wound then stares at all the clowns laughing around him. Joyce and Murray find Alexi bleeding/dy*ng next to a clown statue. As joyce looks in horror and Murray says to her, he was “only gone for a second” (which sounds like something you’d say in relation to a kid you were supposed to watch-running off ). We also had sarah at age 7 die while wearing a gown with clowns on it (Will: it was a 7 the demogorgan it got me). Death of innocence symbolism? Hopper also describes his depression as a cave- he goes through the carnival ride where it mentions a "cave of horrors", which had decor of a tiger and a clown painting. So yeah... whatever happened probably isn't good. So- there may be some symbolism there in relation to Will’s past. Not only because (like I and you have mentioned before) Lonnie is highly associated with birthdays. And canonically we know he mentally scarred jonathan on his b-day. But also, s4’s ‘victor creel’ may be an easteregg to the xmen character victor creed- who had a tradition of tra*matizing family members specifically on their bdays

As another alternative:I could also totally see Lonnie “ruining” circuses for Will because it’s not “manly” to him. Like how Jonathan liked thumper the rabbit-from the film bambi. in the film, Thumper is bambi’s bff, and the hunters are the bad guys who k*ll Bambi’s mother and terrorize all the wildlife. SO yeah- making Jonathan become a hunter, and k*ll a rabbit ,despite this fact, is really messed up. And shows Lonnie has already tried to ‘ruin’ things the boys like. By mentally scarring them in one way or another…

I also mentioned how Will’s bday could even be a trigger for jonathan in a diff post.

if the s4 bts calender hinting it’ll be near Will’s bday and easter it could be relevant to Jonathan.we know in s1 el has tra*matic flashbacks when seeing certain things- coke, closet, cat, etc. And Will in s2 has his ‘anniversary effect’ where memories flood back based on the time of year.But like … Easter has bunnies - could seeing rabbits jog stuff up for Jonathan? El seeing a cat made her have a flashback of brenner trying to make her kill a cat. Would Jonathan seeing like Easter bunny decor jog up a flashback of lonnie making him kill a rabbit? (It happened on his bday too). So Will’s b day being around easter would only fuel that memory. (heck even popped balloons may trigger gunshot symbolism idk). And then for Will there is clowns that could be a tr*gger at a party.

The flea and the acrobat analogy (in relation to Will and circuses is very interesting) and could be foreshadowing- it’s even a title for an episode so I feel like it’s narratively an important hint to …something. similar to a s1 ep being called “the bathtub”.  Also, Will was compared to a circus flea- which were placed in an enclosed space, where heat was applied as they jumped  and tried to escape the increasing temperatures as they burned .Which could relate to my theory about Will having a se*zure due his body overheating due to Lonnie injecting him with m*th.

 If Will’s bday is in s4- I feel like Lonnie will come back in some capacity (flashback or literally). The ‘sorry, I forgot you b day’ card from Lonnie in s2, in Lonnie’s shed Joyce mentioning Will’s b day, the rainbow ‘happy birthday cup’ placed next to Will at Mike’s -while Will explains the supernatural, Lonnie already tra*matizing Jonathan on his bday, etc…

Answer to your Serious Question. Maybe the sex sobered him up lol. But also I thought he was supposed to be like a partier. We see him at one party at the beginning but I assumed that was supposed to be his thing idk. And he seemed kinda alright at both the initiation party and in the society. If he wasn't used to partying he probably would be biting his nails or something so maybe his tolerance is decent. People like that probably drink a lot too like wine and stuff so yeah tolerance

+

Oh! Same Serious Question anon. He's probably good at keeping up appearances. Comes with the lifestyle. August asked him how he felt and he did say "as good as he deserves" so he's probably hungover and just hiding it well

+

Serious Question anon here AGAIN because read the whole post and| also wondered about this breath. Like did sweet Simon just put up with it. He probably didn't smell the freshest since he was at least half asleep for a while too. Then afterwards when he was going to class always think about the fact that Wille was partying and drinking and doing drugs then he passed out then he had sex. I would want a shower after all that lmao. HE WAS RUNNING ALL OVER THAT FIELD TOO OH MY LOL

Firstly thank you for engaging with my midnight Drunk Wilhelm thoughts, appreciate it ✌️

Okay yes to All of This - as someone else said to me a big part of it must also have been like - if I had my super cutie crush, who just rescued me from the scary metal people, in my bed and saying they like me too, I’d also forget everything else in the world in that moment and jump their bones sooooo there’s definitely that to consider. Also love your point that he’s definitely had to get used to keeping up appearances.

Idk I always saw the first scene of the club as like, an unfortunate one-off situation and that he wasn’t usually a big partier - also because otherwise why would the people at the club be making such a point about pictures with him and stuff? If he did this all the time he’d have better structures / routines around not getting caught out like that - but interesting point, noted noted. Also good pickup with the anxiety tells !!

And yeah maybe it was mostly the drugs that messed him up, hey. Just cause like,, scientifically,, with a party’s worth of alc in him he’d have a dwindling blood alcohol content level until at LEAST midday yknow? If not til late in the day. Guess my little baby just has a higher tolerance than me lmao

Ugh boyssss stop being so grottyyyy I REALLY hope they SHOWERED. Also I have so many other questions like did Simon just not have his school books / school bag that day? How did no one notice that? Did Sara bring it? Where did he dump his bike? How was Simon’s mum not worried, we see them have breakfast together ?? How was (my wife) Malin not there, how did she not know ????