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#but I am not here to look at architecture
noonaishere · 1 year
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Music shows be like "time for the dance break!" And then the dance break looks like this:
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#man I fucking love this new group of actual ants#like how did they train them? are they a boy group or girl group? how does the queen feel?#will they be allowed to go back to the anthill? or will they live in dorms?#do any of them know english/korean or will their lyrics be in ant language?#is it just Workers or also Soldiers?#this is the dance break for Guerrilla btw#so it's ateez#or at least#I think it is *squints* they're in there somewhere#this was almost the entirety of the dance break btw#the camerawork was so BAD omg#ruined several parts of New World since they kept doing top down shots#and the whole beginning needs to be be seen from the front#otherwise you're not looking at anything#so bad#like I know you spent all that money making a nice stage#but I am not here to look at architecture#I am here to see people sing and dance#you have no need for a stage if if you don't have performers#get your head out of your ass music shows#show us the stage in incidental shots going to or coming back from commercials#or when we go back to the hosts or when you show the audience cheering before or after performances#my god#not DURING the performance#sorry for ranting on main-- it just annoys me#and Guerrilla has such a wild and fun dance break#and I couldn't see any of it between the cameras and all the pyrotechnics and smoke in the way#I'll just go back and watch other stages of it; thanks#also: it's hilarious that sbs did All I Want for Christmas Is You two years in a row lol#but didn't have anyone sing it this year
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hauntingblue · 3 months
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So what is the temperature like in dressrosa. You can never tell with these bitches
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andro-dino · 4 months
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uwaaa how about some little tidbits with ezekial and luther.... like once ezekial pulls up and luther's life turns upside down how does he cope with it
OH ive been thinking about this too but how many aus do you have revolving around your ocs ??? im curious :3
SHEKEL. I AM LOOKING AT YOU WITH VERY BIG AUTISTIC EYES.
I’m going to answer the second question first bc it’s shorter I think. I actually don’t have like a ton of aus as a whole. Juno’s got the most variations though bc I’m insane about digivalen <3 For them I’ve got
- shogunswap (where juno stays part of the main gang)
- shogunswap (where Juno’s with DNA instead)
- mermaid au
And I could’ve sworn I had another one but I can’t remember it at the moment.
EDIT: I REMEMBERED!!! MANGA JUNO! Idk if that really counts as like an au au but manga compliant juno and anime compliant juno are very different so I count it. That also brings up manga Victoria as an au for her too, since anime compliant Victoria dies while Sakyo’s still young while manga Victoria’s still kicking 🫡
The other that immediately comes to mind is Ezekial and Luther au where Luther’s family is actually completely fine and normal and nothing goes wrong and everyone’s fine. That one’s uuuunrealistiiiic :]
When I was younger I was super into Undertale aus though and I had an underfell version of my main ocs at the time where they were all just edgy and mean and sad. fun times <3
OH YK I did just remember I do have mfb wakfu au from when I was rewatching wakfu. Juno was an eniripsa, Axyl’s an eliatrope, and then bc of that I have two different Wakfu Essi’s. Alone, I can definitely see her as an iop, but in wakfu lore, all eliatrope’s have a shapeshifting dragon sibling who come from the same egg as them, so that also opens the door for dragon essi (I actually have doodled eliatrope Axyl and dragon essi before I’ll have to find those when I get home.) For the other characters, feca kite and eight for sure, sacrier chao xin (I also have sacrier Chao Xin somewhere I will also be finding those later), and I never fully settled on a species for the garcias but ecaflips were the main option in my head.
Then for Ezekial and Luther. smile :)
Luther is a whole mess of emotions when Ezekial shows back up. When his goons essentially “capture” Ezekial while he’s snooping around, the bring him to Luther, who looks down on Ezekial very intensely and very coldly. Their entire first interaction there is completely cold on Luther’s end. Ezekial is ECSTATIC to finally see him again but Luther is really intent on keeping up his professional demeanor. At first, he’s willing to let Ezekial go unharmed and just leave it at that, but when Ezekial refuses to go, Luther tries to be a little bit more “convincing,” and in that moment is especially trying to emphasize (both to Ezekial and to himself) that he’s a different person that he once was and isn’t so merciful. Even then, Ezekial persists, and the more he pushes, the more Luther finds himself enraged for reasons he can’t quite understand. Luther has a reputation for usually being able to prevent his own hands from getting dirty, but he can’t help but shut Ezekial’s whole speech about how he knows that “his best friend is still in there somewhere” down with a firm kick to the gut from his own boot. This is not the last time something like this will happen, and it’s notable that Ezekial is the only person who’s ever been able to rile Luther up enough that other people see him lose his temper and put his hands on someone. It’s notable also that it’s not just rage behind Luther’s eyes, but a deep unsteadiness and what could be considered fear.
Luther from there on out decides to keep Ezekial “prisoner” basically, not necessarily because he wants him around but because he knows Ezekial can cause problems for him if left to his own devices and wants to keep an eye on him. That is how The Problems start and continue to develop into A Plot :]
There is actually one scenario I’ve thought A LOT about because it’s a really important scene for these two. Maybe the first night Ezekial is there, maybe not, but it’s still relatively early into them being reunited, Luther lets Ezekial into his room one night. Ezekial is there kind of awkwardly twiddling his thumbs while Luther showers ((((((IN A SEPERATE ROOM)))))) ((((((LUTHER HAS A BATHROOM ATTACHED TO HIS BEDROOM)))))) ((((((EZEKIAL IS AWKWARDLY SITTING AROUND IN LUTHER’S BEDROOM WHEN THIS HAPPENS))))), notably the most unsupervised Luther has left him at this point, and when Luther comes out, he still barely acknowledges Ezekial but instead walks past him onto the balcony. He leaves the door open, a silent invitation, as Ezekial follows him out and finds Luther lighting a cigarette, leaning against the railing. Ezekial stiffly copies the action and the two sit in a tense (well, tense for Ezekial at least) silence before Luther is the one to start the conversation and the two just. Talk. It’s the most vulnerable Luther has left himself in front of Ezekial and the closest thing Ezekial’s gotten to feeling like he’s connecting to the real Luther again. When this conversation is over, they’ll go back to how it was before, but it’ll stay in both of their minds, and it definitely won’t be the last of its kind despite that.
This is like, fairly old art that I don’t like anymore, but I did kinda draw out part of this scene.
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hey why is The Rialto Square Theatre the literal actual prettiest place in the fucking world
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1o1percentmilk · 8 months
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i don't even want to take half my classes that im registered for autumn quarter
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thormanick · 1 year
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"Light of Kshahrewar indeed. No wonder I always have a feeling that I'm talking to a brick wall." - Alhaitham about Kaveh, probably.
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redflagsandbanners · 2 years
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I love studying mechanics but I hate studying mechanics you know?
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xcrust · 3 months
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Now in Technicolor
Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss x Reader Insert
“Tune in folks! demons and damned souls, welcome back to the sultry airwaves of Hell's very own station. I must say, dear listeners, Hell has a certain charm, doesn't it? A cacophony of screams, the crackle of flames, and the subtle whispers of secrets that linger in the shadows. It's a splendid orchestra of despair, and I am here to be your guide through the infernal playlist” 
You expected the man to be insane but you didn't expect him to be so unshameful. 
“So, grab a pitchfork, kick back, and let the music of the damned serenade your darkened souls! Now let's talk about my latest massacre-” 
As of the moment you're not actually with him. Though him doing his broadcast that reigns in all of hell almost feels like he's still beside you all along. As your point of freedom away from your family you decided it was best to get to know hell from the very people that walked the streets. 
Since he began taking you under his wing, you decided to stay with him till you find your place to settle down. 
You were an early riser so the radio was not really a bother. The weird universal agreement to decide night and day here is such a fascination to you. Nevertheless being hell meant there was never a time without someone awake causing chaos. The game plan of working your way up the charts is what your dad always said while growing up, "Don't take shit from other demons”. Starting with that is to gain a more hopeful advantage in knowing the people. 
“Watch this!” a really grimy voice screamed out. Looking that way you could see a few imps running around gathering people's attention.
One taller than the average imp stood with horns adorned in flickering embers, cackling with glee as he addressed his chaotic minions. "Listen up, you fiendish crap! I think it's time to start a new and take back what should be rightfully ours”
In the heart of pentagram city, the joy that you get from seeing the disaster is always so fulfilling. You may be new to these parts but boy does it give you a rush. 
A sleek abyssal demon slinked through the crowd, leaving a trail of illusions in its wake. The demon could not only morph into various grotesque forms but the path that it was leaving behind was startling and amusing onlookers. As it danced between the dimensions of reality and illusion, confused demons stumbled into each other, inadvertently causing a chain reaction of minor skirmishes and squabbles. But what you didn't expect was for him to come up to you. 
“They do this every week, by now it should get through their heads no one is going to listen” His voice was deep. It was such a buttery kind of smooth. 
“I don't know there seems to be a crowd starting” with a smile you look up at him to see an amused look on his face. 
The scene in front of you did intrigue you a lot. The bottom of the food chain in hell trying to make a voice for themselves. Their treatment is a peculiar mix of disdain and indifference. Larger demons may kick an imp out of the way without a second thought or summon them with a snap of their fingers for trivial purposes. Imps are often subjected to the capricious whims of their more powerful counterparts, enduring cruel pranks and occasional bouts of aggression.
Though you never thought that, though treated as the lowest rung of the demonic hierarchy, imps often find themselves at the mercy of their more powerful counterparts. They serve as the labor force, taking on a myriad of roles and responsibilities that range from menial tasks to dangerous assignments. Whether it's cleaning the twisted architecture of demonic structures or scurrying about as messengers delivering missives between the higher-ups, imps are ubiquitous fixtures in the daily hustle of Hell
“The pride ring is the top show in these parts and what do we get?! We get booted to the side and have to deal with the hypocrisy of these stupid standards!!” Those who spoke up before started chanting about rights for imps. 
Certainly something that you would stand behind. Maybe it's a closed minded thought process but what was the point of souls from earth having more respect than the ones from here? 
The heartbreaking sight was to see them run out. Demons of all kinds were starting to riot against them. In the face of adversity, the mischievous imps vowed to continue their antics, proving that even the smallest creatures could leave an indelible mark on the tumultuous canvas of Hell The Hellraisers disappear into the chaotic crowd, leaving a trail of bewildered demons and a street strewn with toppled stalls. with mayhem reigning supreme in the darkened streets.
“It's stupid and kinda sad to watch” The man stood beside you huffing out. 
“Aren't you a hypocrite, you're an earthborn yourself aren't you?” the ego that these people have never stops amazing you everyday. 
“Yeah… just because I'm here doesn't mean I'm set in stone as a bad person… Though looking at you, I'd guess you're like myself but you look almost a little too perfect for a human” crossing his arms he looked at you. 
“That's because im-! You know who you are anyways dickbag”  This guy was seriously putting you off. Comparing you to whatever those disappointments are. 
“Pump the hate breaks… I'm Walter by the way.. Since you asked." The cadence of his voice was so politician based that it could lead you to go insane. 
As the chaos unfolded around you, Walter's nonchalant demeanor seemed to contrast sharply with the tumultuous scene. The imps' attempts to rally for their rights had escalated into a full-blown street brawl, with demons of varying sizes and shapes joining the fray. The air resonated with shouts, roars, and the occasional yelp from an imp caught in the crossfire.
"Quite the spectacle they're putting on, isn't it?" Walter questions raising an eyebrow
You observed the chaos with a mix of fascination and concern. The imps were outnumbered and outmatched, yet their resilience and determination to stand up against the status quo intrigued you.
"Yeah, it is," you replied, eyes still fixed on the scene. "Seems like they're fed up with being pushed around."
Walter chuckled, a dry sound that echoed through the cacophony. "Oh, they've been trying to make a statement for ages. It's almost cute."
"Cute?" You shot him a disapproving look. "They're fighting for their rights. It's not cute; it's necessary."
Walter's gaze lingered on you for a moment before he shrugged, unimpressed. "Necessary, maybe. But in Hell, it's a matter of survival. Those little imps are just making noise in a world that won't listen."
The riot continued to escalate, with fiery projectiles, illusions, and general pandemonium swirling around. Amidst the chaos, a trio of larger demons emerged, their expressions twisted into malicious grins.
"Looks like the big guns are stepping in. This is where it gets interesting." you said while stepping back to not get caught in the crossfire. Values and morals aside, sometimes seeing stuff play out is widely more interesting than anything else. Fuck you sounded sadistic.
The trio of demons seemed to relish the opportunity to quash the imp uprising. With a wave of their hands, they conjured dark energy, sending shockwaves through the crowd of imps. You could see the smaller demons being tossed aside like ragdolls, their attempts at resistance quickly crushed.
You felt a surge of empathy for the imps, caught in a cycle of oppression and rebellion. However, Walter's detached demeanor left you conflicted. Was he merely observing the chaos, or did he revel in the anarchy that unfolded before him?
Leaning into you his dark haze felt almost suffocating. "Well, darling, what do you think? Will the imps triumph or become another forgotten footnote in Hell's sordid history?" 
The question lingered in the air, emphasizing the harsh reality of Hell's hierarchy. The imps' plight seemed both desperate and valiant, a stark reminder that even in Hell, some fought for a semblance of dignity and recognition. 
“Whatever, if this is just a game to you, I hope your luck runs out” you remark before heading out of the city center. Being around him made you miss the annoying voice of alastor. 
Walking away from him was the easiest thing that you could do. His attempt to engage you in conversation, using terms like "darling" with a sly smile, only added to your growing irritation. It felt like he was mocking not only the imps but also your own principles and values.
The crimson glow of dawn began to seep through the curtains of Alastor's luxurious suite of his radio booth, signaling the end of another night's radio broadcast. The room, adorned with vintage furnishings and an air of refined chaos, bore witness to the aftermath of Alastor's nocturnal endeavors.
reclined in an opulent armchair, a contented smirk playing on his lips. The room still echoed with the faint whispers of his charismatic voice, which had reached every corner of Hell during the broadcast. The radio equipment, adorned with dials and adorned in a distinct retro aesthetic, hummed softly, now temporarily dormant.
 Alastor found his thoughts occasionally drifting to the enigmatic (Y/n). a peculiar newcomer to Hell or at least to what he thinks. had managed to capture the attention of the radio demon in a way that he couldn't quite dismiss. The glimmers of defiance in (Y/n)'s gaze during their encounters had not gone unnoticed. Alastor, who revealed in the unexpected and the unconventional, found a peculiar satisfaction in the mystery that surrounded them. In Hell, where familiarity often bred contempt, the unknown was a rare and exhilarating novelty.
As the first rays of dawn bathed the room in a warm glow, Alastor's posture shifted. He rose from the chair, his movements graceful and deliberate. Despite the seemingly chaotic nature of his radio persona, there was an undeniable elegance to his every action.
Alastor pondered the significance of this newcomer's journey through the infernal landscape. Why could he feel such raw power? Though why is it that he is reminded of himself when thinking about them. 
Walking over to a nearby table, Alastor poured himself a cup of tea. The delicate porcelain clinked softly against the saucer as he sipped the hot beverage. The tranquility of the moment contrasted with the lively chaos he had orchestrated just hours ago.
Thinking back to last night, With a casual flick of his wrist, when he summoned ethereal tendrils that danced like shadows in the night. These spectral appendages slithered through the air, reaching out to the trembling souls and ensnaring them in a web of malevolent energy. The very fabric of reality seemed to warp under his influence, distorting the surroundings into a nightmarish landscape.
Alastor's mind, ever calculating, reflected on the success of the night's broadcast. The intertwining melodies of jazz and hellish commentary had woven a tapestry of entertainment, capturing the attention of listeners from the lowliest imps to the loftiest demons. The echoes of laughter and applause lingered in his mind like a symphony of souls.
As the jazz tunes from a nearby record player filled the air, Alastor reclined in his chair, a sly grin playing on his lips. The prospect of weaving the reader into the ongoing narrative of Hell sparked a mischievous glint in his eyes. (Y/n), in their apparent defiance of the expected norms, had become a wild card in the devil's deck of amusement.
 Getting up to Leisurely strolling through the lavish suite, Alastor glanced at a vintage record player. He selected a vinyl record, the soothing crackle of the needle finding its groove as the melodic tunes of an old jazz number filled the room. The music, a stark departure from the energetic chaos of his radio show, created an ambiance of refined tranquility.
From below his window he sees these peculiar picture shows from down below.
"My, my, attempting to disturb the delicate balance of my little corner of Hell? How utterly quaint.” 
“Hey! I'm back! Damn, is it a lively scene out there,” you call out as you stride into your shared living space.
Alastor, reclining on a vintage armchair, smirks in response. "Ah, my dear (Y/n), chaos is the very essence of this delightful realm. One must learn to appreciate the symphony of suffering that plays around us."
"Yeah, well, it's just something that I'll make work in my hand,” you reply, taking a moment to glance around the eclectic decor of your hellish abode.
With a mischievous glint in his eyes, Alastor stands up abruptly. "I know you just got back, but we are going out!" His enthusiasm is palpable, and you can tell he has something interesting in mind.
“Wait, I think I had my share—” you try to speak out before being abruptly grabbed by the arm.
“Come on, my dear!” In a flash, you find yourself whisked out of the apartment, leaving behind the familiar surroundings for whatever adventure Alastor has in store.
"Alastor, where are we even going?" you asked, trying to keep up with his brisk pace. His usual grin widened, revealing a hint of mischief.
"Patience, my dear (Y/n). I have something intriguing to show you," Alastor replied, his voice carrying an air of secrecy.
He turned to face you, his expression unreadable. "I thought it would be delightful to pay a visit to our esteemed TV demon. After all, shouldn't we take a look at all kinds of media?"
Before you could voice your reservations, Alastor pushed open the doors of the Vox Network headquarters, leading you into the opulent reception area. The robotic sentinels stood guard, and Vox's voice echoed through the room.
"Ah, Alastor! A pleasure to have you in the building! , What a delightful surprise," a booming voice echoed from the center of the room. Vox, the flamboyant TV demon, materialized in a cloud of static. His slick, metallic appearance glowed in an array of colors, and his screen-like face displayed a perpetually changing expression. his screen displaying a charismatic smile.
Vox extended a hand towards Alastor. the radio demon simply walked past to which earned a small glitch seen at the corner of his screen. 
“Seems you've brought a pet?” The fact that no one knew who you were was starting to get on your nerves. Calling you a pet? Well that's something that will make you riot. 
In the face of Vox's condescending remark, you felt a spark of irritation flicker within you. Alastor's dismissal of the TV demon's extended hand had left a peculiar glitch on Vox's screen, a subtle indication that the flamboyant host wasn't accustomed to being ignored.
"No one's anyone's pet," you retorted, asserting yourself in the opulent reception area. The robotic sentinels glanced in your direction, their mechanical eyes narrowing as if registering an unexpected anomaly.
Vox's screen shifted to an intrigued expression, the colors dancing in an erratic display. "Ah, a voice from the shadows! I must confess, I wasn't aware we had a new player in this delightful game."
Alastor, leaning against a holographic display, observed the unfolding interaction with a glint of amusement in his eyes. "She's no pet, Vox. Just someone with a taste for chaos and curiosity about your little empire."
Vox chuckled, the sound reverberating through the sleek surroundings. "Chaos and curiosity, my favorite combination! How intriguing! So, (Y/n), what brings you into our glamorous world today?"
You crossed your arms, a defiant gleam in your eyes. "I'm not here to be entertained or become anyone's spectacle if thats what youre thinking.”
Alastor stepped in “We just thought we'd see what all the fuss is about."
Vox's screen displayed a mix of amusement and curiosity. "A renegade spirit, I like it! But you're in the presence of yours truly and We don't do small things here. Let's skip the foreplay and get into it. How about a little deal? I'll make you an offer you can't refuse."
You eyed Vox skeptically, wary of the gleam in his screen. Alastor, seemingly unfazed, glanced at you with a sly grin. "Go on, (Y/n), entertain his offer. He has no power or specialty. We might find something amusing in his little game."
“Ok first fuck you alastor and no way in the seven rings would I join you I wouldnt join anyone” The prospect of dealing with Vox made your skin crawl, but the allure of navigating Hell's media empire intrigued you. 
Vox's screen flickered with a mix of surprise and subtle annoyance as you firmly rejected his proposition. The colors on his metallic visage swirled in a display of shifting hues, mirroring the complex emotions running through the TV demon's circuits.
"Well, well, aren't you a feisty one, Are you sure about not joining anyone? You seem like a loyal dog to that freak" Vox mused
Your resolve remains unshaken, and you meet Vox's screen with a defiant gaze. "I don't need your offers, Vox. I'll find my own way through Hell's chaos."
Vox's laughter echoed through the opulent reception area, a mix of genuine amusement and an underlying sense of challenge. "Very well, (Y/n). Should you change your mind or seek a taste of the limelight, you know where to find me.”
What a bitch… At this point you were at your limit so you walked out to the side of the room to not entertain this conversation. The fucking nerve of these people. Even Alastor was being a little bit of a shit at the moment. 
“There's a certain allure to the unknown, wouldn't you say?" Vox pondered aloud, his screen displaying a charismatic smile.
Alastor, still leaning against the holographic display, turned to you with a smirk. "Well done, my dear.”
Alastor's antlers grew as he stood before Vox, his crimson eyes piercing 
"Ah, Vox, my dear fellow," Alastor began, his voice carrying a melodic tone laced with a subtle threat. "I hope you enjoyed the rejection dance my little friend here performed. Now, let's get one thing clear – I don't dance to anyone's tune, especially not yours. You might be the new shiny toy right now but people always come back to the original"
Vox's screen glitched momentarily, revealing a flicker of irritation.
"What's the meaning of this, Alastor?" Vox demanded, his voice losing some of its usual charisma and taking on a sharper edge. "You come here and start bitching at me about not joining me?! We've already established that” 
“You underestimate the consequences of refusing me, Alastor," Vox hissed, his voice losing its previous charm entirely. "This will be my realm to control, and those who reject my advances often find themselves in a far less favorable position."
Alastor chuckled, the sound echoing in the extravagant reception area. "Consequences, Vox? I've faced worse in my time. Your attempts to control the narrative may work on the masses, but not on someone who knows the art of chaos."
As Alastor turned to leave, Vox seethed with frustration. The TV demon couldn't fathom being denied, and Alastor's rejection left a lingering tension in the air. Vox's screen displayed an animated storm of chaotic colors.
A surge of annoyance swept over you. Alastor's encouragement of Vox and his apparent amusement at the situation grated on the reader's nerves. The reader couldn't fathom why he enabled the TV demon's actions especially considering the TV demon's manipulative and self-serving nature. To make matters worse it really felt like he was making fun of you. 
“Fuck off Alastor”
"(Y/n), this is Hell, and power here is earned through deals and influence. If you want to make your mark, you have to start making deals," Alastor advised in a tone that was both casual and instructional. His words resonated with a hint of amusement, as if he relished the idea of the reader navigating the treacherous landscape of Hell.
“I'm not some social experiment, why are you still here?” however, was taken aback by Alastor's nonchalant attitude toward the situation. The idea of making deals in exchange for souls seemed like a slippery slope, and the reader wasn't sure if they were ready to embrace such a cutthroat approach
“Embrace it, and you'll see just how intoxicating the taste of power can be." he replied
If they were to survive and thrive in Hell, understanding the art of making deals was a necessary skill. With a determined nod, they acknowledged Alastor's guidance.
"Alright, Alastor. Teach me the ropes. I might as well learn how to play this game if I'm going to survive in Hell," the reader conceded, a resolute glint in their eyes.
“Im staying with you, but if you even think about being an ass while other people are around you're going to be counting your last minutes” 
“Doll, if you can barely stand up for yourself, I don't think I have anything to worry about,” he laughed out.
He's seriously pushing your buttons right now.
“As an overlord, you have dominion over a specific territory or domain within Hell. This grants you considerable authority and control over the demons and souls, you want that right? Power?” he asked.
All of a sudden you heard a loud bash of commotion coming from a group of demons that appeared to be fighting.
Pushing through the crowd, they discovered a group of demons surrounding none other than Walter.
One of the larger demons, a hulking figure with horns resembling twisted spires, look with disdain. "This fool thinks he can waltz into our territory and act like he owns the place."
Walter, bloodied but defiant, attempted to maintain his composure. "Now, now, gentlemen, there's no need for such hostility. Let's talk this out civilly."
The demons surrounding Walter scoffed at his attempts at diplomacy, clearly unimpressed. The reader couldn't help but feel a surge of annoyance at Walter's earlier arrogance.
"Perhaps, my dear (Y/n), we should let this play out. It's always entertaining to witness the ebb and flow of power dynamics in Hell," Alastor mused, his eyes glinting with a sinister delight.
"Come on! Do something about this!!, you can't just stand there and watch!" Walter's voice cracked with a mixture of pain and panic as he pleaded for help. 
"My, my, Walter, seems like you've landed yourself in quite a bind. Who would have thought our charismatic friend would face such a predicament?" you said out loud
“please! I'm not cut out for this kind of roughing up!" Walter's words were desperate, his eyes pleading for intervention. The demons surrounding him laughed, reveling in his vulnerability
“Oh please you were such a bigshot earlier, get yourself out of this mess”
ignoring the demons' taunts, you whispered out a proposal which the smoked and leaned in closer to Walter and whispered the terms of the deal. The specifics echoed in the demonic air, forming an unspoken pact that hung heavy in the atmosphere.
"Deal," Walter agreed, relief washing over him as the terms were settled. The demons, though momentarily confused, soon found themselves turned to dust. 
Alastor observed the scene with a raised brow, intrigued by the sudden turn of events. The reader's willingness to strike a deal for Walter's soul added a new layer of complexity
Looking back up to him and smiled, “is this what you wanted?”
As Alastor continued to observe the chaotic scene unfolding before him, a smirk played on his lips. The demons surrounding Walter, still reveling in the prospect of his impending downfall, were oblivious to the subtle yet profound shift in the power dynamics.
"Well, well, it seems you've decided to make a deal. How delightful!" Alastor chuckled, his eyes gleaming with amusement. The atmosphere shifted, charged with an unspoken agreement between you and Walter.  
“Now, now, gentlemen, let's not keep our eager audience waiting. After all, this is shaping up to be quite the dramatic performance,” Alastor commented looking at the rest of the demons that just fell dead, staring at the corpses with a dark amusement lacing his words. He leaned casually against a nearby demonic structure, his radio-like grin widening.
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disabled-dragoon · 9 months
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The Disability Library
I love books, I love literature, and I love this blog, but it's only been recently that I've really been given the option to explore disabled literature, and I hate that. When I was a kid, all I wanted was to be able to read about characters like me, and now as an adult, all I want is to be able to read a book that takes us seriously.
And so, friends, Romans, countrymen, I present, a special disability and chronic illness booklist, compiled by myself and through the contributions of wonderful members from this site!
As always, if there are any at all that you want me to add, please just say. I'm always looking for more!
Edit 20/10/2023: You can now suggest books using the google form at the bottom!
Updated: 31/08/2023
Articles and Chapters
The Drifting Language of Architectural Accessibility in Victor Hugo's Notre-Dame de Paris, Essaka Joshua, 2012
Early Modern Literature and Disability Studies, Allison P. Hobgood, David Houston Wood, 2017
How Do You Develop Whole Object Relations as an Adult?, Elinor Greenburg, 2019
Making Do with What You Don't Have: Disabled Black Motherhood in Octavia E. Butler's Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents, Anna Hinton, 2018
Necropolitics, Achille Mbeme, 2003 OR Necropolitics, Achille Mbeme, 2019
Wasted Lives: Modernity and Its Outcasts, Zygmunt Bauman, 2004
Witchcraft and deformity in early modern English Literature, Scott Eaton, 2020
Books
Fiction:
Misc:
10 Things I Can See From Here, Carrie Mac
A-F:
A Curse So Dark and Lonely, (Series), Brigid Kemmerer
Akata Witch, (Series), Nnedi Okorafor
A Mango-Shaped Space, Wendy Mass
Ancillary Justice, (Series), Ann Leckie
An Unkindness of Ghosts, Rivers Solomon
An Unseen Attraction, (Series), K. J. Charles
A Shot in the Dark, Victoria Lee
A Snicker of Magic, Natalie Lloyd
A Song of Ice and Fire, (series), George R. R. Martin
A Spindle Splintered, (Series), Alix E. Harrow
A Time to Dance, Padma Venkatraman
Bath Haus, P. J. Vernon
Beasts of Prey, (Series), Ayana Gray
The Bedlam Stacks, (Series), Natasha Pulley
Black Bird, Blue Road, Sofiya Pasternack
Black Sun, (Series), Rebecca Roanhorse
Blood Price, (Series), Tanya Huff
Borderline, (Series), Mishell Baker
Breath, Donna Jo Napoli
The Broken Kingdoms, (Series), N.K. Jemisin
Brute, Kim Fielding
Cafe con Lychee, Emery Lee
Carry the Ocean, (Series), Heidi Cullinan
Challenger Deep, Neal Shusterman
Cinder, (Series), Marissa Meyer
Clean, Amy Reed
Connection Error, (Series), Annabeth Albert
Cosima Unfortunate Steals A Star, Laura Noakes
Crazy, Benjamin Lebert
Crooked Kingdom, (Series), Leigh Bardugo
Daniel Cabot Puts Down Roots, (Series), Cat Sebastian
Daniel, Deconstructed, James Ramos
Dead in the Garden, (Series), Dahlia Donovan
Dear Fang, With Love, Rufi Thorpe
Deathless Divide, (Series), Justina Ireland
The Degenerates, J. Albert Mann
The Doctor's Discretion, E.E. Ottoman
Earth Girl, (Series), Janet Edwards
Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead, Emily R. Austin
The Extraordinaries, (Series), T. J. Klune
The Extraordinary Education of Nicholas Benedict, (Series), Trenton Lee Stewart
Fight + Flight, Jules Machias
The Final Girl Support Group, Grady Hendrix
Finding My Voice, (Series), Aoife Dooley
The First Thing About You, Chaz Hayden
Follow My Leader, James B. Garfield
Forever Is Now, Mariama J. Lockington
Fortune Favours the Dead, (Series), Stephen Spotswood
Fresh, Margot Wood
H-0:
Harmony, London Price
Harrow the Ninth, (series), Tamsyn Muir
Hench, (Series), Natalia Zina Walschots
Highly Illogical Behaviour, John Corey Whaley
Honey Girl, Morgan Rogers
How to Become a Planet, Nicole Melleby
How to Bite Your Neighbor and Win a Wager, (Series), D. N. Bryn
How to Sell Your Blood & Fall in Love, (Series), D. N. Bryn
Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites, Joy Demorra
I Am Not Alone, Francisco X. Stork
The Immeasurable Depth of You, Maria Ingrande Mora
In the Ring, Sierra Isley
Into The Drowning Deep, (Series), Mira Grant
Iron Widow, (Series), Xiran Jay Zhao
Izzy at the End of the World, K. A. Reynolds
Jodie's Journey, Colin Thiele
Just by Looking at Him, Ryan O'Connell
Kissing Doorknobs, Terry Spencer Hesser
Lakelore, Anna-Marie McLemore
Learning Curves, (Series), Ceillie Simkiss
Let's Call It a Doomsday, Katie Henry
The Library of the Dead, (Series), TL Huchu
The Lion Hunter, (Series), Elizabeth Wein
Lirael, (Series), Garth Nix
Long Macchiatos and Monsters, Alison Evans
Love from A to Z, (Series), S.K. Ali
Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses, Kristen O'Neal
Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro
The Never Tilting World, (Series), Rin Chupeco
The No-Girlfriend Rule, Christen Randall
Nona the Ninth, (series), Tamsyn Muir
Noor, Nnedi Okorafor
Odder Still, (Series), D. N. Bryn
Once Stolen, (Series), D. N. Bryn
One For All, Lillie Lainoff
On the Edge of Gone, Corinne Duyvis
Origami Striptease, Peggy Munson
Our Bloody Pearl, (Series), D. N. Bryn
Out of My Mind, Sharon M. Draper
P-T:
Parable of the Sower, (Series), Octavia E. Butler
Parable of the Talents, (Series), Octavia E. Butler
Percy Jackson & the Olympians, (series), Rick Riordan
Pomegranate, Helen Elaine Lee
The Prey of Gods, Nicky Drayden
The Pursuit Of..., (Series), Courtney Milan
The Queen's Thief, (Series), Megan Whalen Turner
The Quiet and the Loud, Helena Fox
The Raging Quiet, Sheryl Jordan
The Reanimator's Heart, (Series), Kara Jorgensen
The Remaking of Corbin Wale, Joan Parrish
Roll with It, (Series), Jamie Sumner
Russian Doll, (Series), Cristelle Comby
The Second Mango, (Series), Shira Glassman
Scar of the Bamboo Leaf, Sieni A.M
Shaman, (Series), Noah Gordon
Sick Kids in Love, Hannah Moskowitz
The Silent Boy, Lois Lowry
Six of Crows, (Series) Leigh Bardugo
Sizzle Reel, Carlyn Greenwald
The Spare Man, Mary Robinette Kowal
The Stagsblood Prince, (Series), Gideon E. Wood
Stake Sauce, Arc 1: The Secret Ingredient is Love. No, Really, (Series), RoAnna Sylver
Stars in Your Eyes, Kacen Callender [Expected release: Oct 2023]
The Storm Runner, (Series), J. C. Cervantes
Stronger Still, (Series), D. N. Bryn
Sweetblood, Pete Hautman
Tarnished Are the Stars, Rosiee Thor
The Theft of Sunlight, (Series), Intisar Khanani
Throwaway Girls, Andrea Contos
Top Ten, Katie Cotugno
Torch, Lyn Miller-Lachmann
Treasure, Rebekah Weatherspoon
Turtles All the Way Down, John Green
U-Z:
Unlicensed Delivery, Will Soulsby-McCreath Expected release October 2023
Verona Comics, Jennifer Dugan
Vorkosigan Saga, (Series), Lois McMaster Bujold
We Are the Ants, (Series), Shaun David Hutchinson
The Weight of Our Sky, Hanna Alkaf
Whip, Stir and Serve, Caitlyn Frost and Henry Drake
The Whispering Dark, Kelly Andrew
Wicked Sweet, Chelsea M. Cameron
Wonder, (Series), R. J. Palacio
Wrong to Need You, (Series), Alisha Rai
Ziggy, Stardust and Me, James Brandon
Graphic Novels:
A Quick & Easy Guide to Sex & Disability, (Non-Fiction), A. Andrews
Constellations, Kate Glasheen
Dancing After TEN: a graphic memoir, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Vivian Chong, Georgia Webber
Everything Is an Emergency: An OCD Story in Words Pictures, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Jason Adam Katzenstein
Frankie's World: A Graphic Novel, (Series), Aoife Dooley
The Golden Hour, Niki Smith
Nimona, N. D. Stevenson
The Third Person, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Emma Grove
Magazines and Anthologies:
Artificial Divide, (Anthology), Robert Kingett, Randy Lacey
Beneath Ceaseless Skies #175: Grandmother-nai-Leylit's Cloth of Winds, (Article), R. B. Lemburg
Defying Doomsday, (Anthology), edited by Tsana Dolichva and Holly Kench
Josee, the Tiger and the Fish, (short story) (anthology), Seiko Tanabe
Nothing Without Us, edited by Cait Gordon and Talia C. Johnson
Nothing Without Us Too, edited by Cait Gordon and Talia C. Johnson
Unbroken: 13 Stories Starring Disabled Teens, (Anthology), edited by Marieke Nijkamp
Uncanny #24: Disabled People Destroy Science Fiction, (Anthology), edited by: Elsa Sjunneson-Henry, Dominik Parisien et al.
Uncanny #30: Disabled People Destroy Fantasy, (Anthology), edited by: Nicolette Barischoff, Lisa M. Bradley, Katharine Duckett
We Shall Be Monsters, edited by Derek Newman-Stille
Manga:
Perfect World, (Series), Rie Aruga
The Sky is Blue with a Single Cloud, (Short Stories), Kuniko Tsurita
Non-Fiction:
Academic Ableism: Disability and Higher Education, Jay Timothy Dolmage
A Disability History of the United States, Kim E, Nielsen
The Architecture of Disability: Buildings, Cities, and Landscapes beyond Access, David Gissen
Being Seen: One Deafblind Woman's Fight to End Ableism, Elsa Sjunneson
Black Disability Politics, Sami Schalk
Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety, Dr. Elinor Greenburg
Brilliant Imperfection: Grappling with Cure, Eli Clare
The Cambridge Companion to Literature and Disability, Barker, Clare and Stuart Murray, editors.
The Capacity Contract: Intellectual Disability and the Question of Citizenship, Stacy Clifford Simplican
Capitalism and Disability, Martha Russel
Care work: Dreaming Disability Justice, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
Catatonia, Shutdown and Breakdown in Autism: A Psycho-Ecological Approach, Dr Amitta Shah
The Collected Schizophrenias: Essays, Esme Weijun Wang
Crip Kinship, Shayda Kafai
Crip Up the Kitchen: Tools, Tips and Recipes for the Disabled Cook, Jules Sherred
Culture – Theory – Disability: Encounters between Disability Studies and Cultural Studies, Anne Waldschmidt, Hanjo Berressem, Moritz Ingwersen
Decarcerating Disability: Deinstitutionalization and Prison Abolition, Liat Ben-Moshe
Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to Be an Ally, Emily Ladau
Dirty River: A Queer Femme of Color Dreaming Her Way Home, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
Disability Pride: Dispatches from a Post-ADA World, Ben Mattlin
Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories From the Twenty-First Century, Alice Wong
Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability and Making Space, Amanda Leduc
Every Cripple a Superhero, Christoph Keller
Exile and Pride: Disability, Queerness and Liberation, Eli Clare
Feminist Queer Crip, Alison Kafer
The Future Is Disabled: Prophecies, Love Notes, and Mourning Songs, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
Growing Up Disabled in Australia, Carly Findlay
It's Just Nerves: Notes on a Disability, Kelly Davio
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, Rebecca Skloot
Language Deprivation & Deaf Mental Health, Neil S. Glickman, Wyatte C. Hall
The Minority Body: A Theory of Disability, Elizabeth Barnes
My Body and Other Crumbling Empires: Lessons for Healing in a World That Is Sick, Lyndsey Medford
No Right to Be Idle: The Invention of Disability, 1840s-1930s, Sarah F. Rose
Nothing About Us Without Us: Disability Oppression and Empowerment, James I. Charlton
The Pedagogy of Pathologization Dis/abled Girls of Color in the School-prison Nexus, Subini Ancy Annamma
Physical Disability in British Romantic Literature, Essaka Joshua
QDA: A Queer Disability Anthology, Raymond Luczak, Editor.
The Right to Maim: Debility, Capacity, Disability, Jasbir K. Puar
Sitting Pretty, (memoir), Rebecca Taussig
Sounds Like Home: Growing Up Black & Deaf in the South, Mary Herring Wright
Surviving and Thriving with an Invisible Chronic Illness: How to Stay Sane and Live One Step Ahead of Your Symptoms, Ilana Jacqueline
The Things We Don't Say: An Anthology of Chronic Illness Truths, Julie Morgenlender
Uncanny Bodies: Superhero Comics and Disability, Scott T. Smith, José Alaniz 
Uncomfortable Labels: My Life as a Gay Autistic Trans Woman, (memoir), Laura Kate Dale
Unmasking Autism, Devon Price
The War on Disabled People: Capitalism, Welfare and the Making of a Human Catastrophe, Ellen Clifford
We've Got This: Essays by Disabled Parents, Eliza Hull
Year of the Tiger: An Activist's Life, (memoir) (essays) Alice Wong
Picture Books:
A Day With No Words, Tiffany Hammond, Kate Cosgrove-
A Friend for Henry, Jenn Bailey, Mika Song
Ali and the Sea Stars, Ali Stroker, Gillian Reid
All Are Welcome, Alexandra Penfold, Suzanne Kaufman
All the Way to the Top, Annette Bay Pimentel, Jennifer Keelan-Chaffins, Nabi Ali
Can Bears Ski?, Raymond Antrobus, Polly Dunbar
Different -- A Great Thing to Be!, Heather Alvis, Sarah Mensinga
Everyone Belongs, Heather Alvis, Sarah Mensinga
I Talk Like a River, Jordan Scott, Sydney Smith
Jubilee: The First Therapy Horse and an Olympic Dream, K. T. Johnson, Anabella Ortiz
Just Ask!, Sonia Sotomayor, Rafael López
Kami and the Yaks, Andrea Stenn Stryer, Bert Dodson
My Three Best Friends and Me, Zulay, Cari Best, Vanessa Brantley-Newton
Rescue & Jessica: A Life-Changing Friendship, Jessica Kensky, Patrick Downes, Scott Magoon
Sam's Super Seats, Keah Brown, Sharee Miller
Small Knight and the Anxiety Monster, Manka Kasha
We Move Together, Kelly Fritsch, Anne McGuire, Eduardo Trejos
We're Different, We're the Same, and We're All Wonderful!, Bobbi Jane Kates, Joe Mathieu
What Happened to You?, James Catchpole, Karen George
The World Needs More Purple People, Kristen Bell, Benjamin Hart, Daniel Wiseman
You Are Enough: A Book About Inclusion, Margaret O'Hair, Sofia Sanchez, Sofia Cardoso
You Are Loved: A Book About Families, Margaret O'Hair, Sofia Sanchez, Sofia Cardoso
The You Kind of Kind, Nina West, Hayden Evans
Zoom!, Robert Munsch, Michael Martchenko
Plays:
Peeling, Kate O'Reilly
---
With an extra special thank you to @parafoxicalk @craftybookworms @lunod @galaxyaroace @shub-s @trans-axolotl @suspicious-whumping-egg @ya-world-challenge @fictionalgirlsworld @rubyjewelqueen @some-weird-queer-writer @jacensolodjo @cherry-sys @dralthon @thebibliosphere @brynwrites @aj-grimoire @shade-and-sun @ceanothusspinosus @edhelwen1 @waltzofthewifi @spiderleggedhorse @sleepneverheardofher @highladyluck @oftheides @thecouragetobekind @nopoodles @lupadracolis @elusivemellifluence @creativiteaa @moonflowero1 @the-bi-library @chronically-chaotic-cryptid for your absolutely fantastic contributions!
---
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cherry-leclerc · 3 months
Text
method acting ☆ cl16
genre: series - humor, strangers to friends/roommates
word count: 5.1k
cherry here!... first req that turns into a mini series and I'M SO EXCITED. the idea was perfect and i really hope you all enjoy this little story based off one of the best films :) common changes and adjustments are made for the plot but HAPPY READING
*can you guess what film it's based off of? where the title originates from?
ch. one ch. two ch. three ch. four ch. five ch. six
Chapter 1
Life, as you fear, is falling apart as you're confronted with a serious case of writer's block that puts your career on the line. As a solution, you're roommate helps you plan a solo trip to the Amalfi Coast for a much needed break but it doesn't take long for you to meet a certain Monegasque who lays passed out on the beach.
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Parents know best - at least that’s what we’re all told growing up. How about bioengineering? Cardiothoracic surgeon? Architecture? With braces and a messy fishtail, you shake your head profusely as you clutch onto your notebook. 
"No. Journalism."
“Why didn’t I listen to my mom?” Groaning, you rub your tired hands all over your face as your roommate stares back, bewildered by your sudden frustration. 
“You’re telling me doing open heart surgery would have been better than writing an article?”
Aiming a pencil at her, you gasp as you cover your mouth and she squints her brown eyes at you. “I am so sorry!” Running up, you hug her desperately. “I’m just stressed, I’m stressed, I’m stressed!” You pull away. “I’m stressed.”
Amelia chuckles as she sits down on a stool, pointing for you to do the same. “You, my serial killer friend, need a break.” You frown at her choice of words. If I take a break then I’m going to get fired. She smiles brightly. “You won’t though.”
You can distinctively pinpoint the moment a ripped up journal turned into a laptop. It was senior year of highschool and you finally had the courage to confront your parents and tell them that you, if fact, were not joking about your bachelors in journalism.
"Darling, how will you make a living out of something like that?"
For a moment, her words had you second guessing your choices. Could she be onto something? Know something perhaps you don’t? The older, the wiser, no? 
But you had already applied - it was done. So you tipped your head firmly, clicked your tongue against your straight teeth, and smiled.
"I’ll find a way."
You moan softly as you hit your forehead with the palm of your hand. “What I would give to just be an elementary school teacher…Grading papers, cute kids-”
“Shit everywhere, tantrums, headaches, signs of early aging - oh God - receding hairline!” Amelia pales as she scrunches her nose in disgust. “Nightmare.” The blonde reaches for your hands, intertwining her fingers into yours. “But this is your dream, it’s what you're good at. Don’t let a little writer's block scare you away.”
-
“Goodness gracious! Are you alright?” Lucy’s southern accent surprises you as you fix your crutches. The older lady had been working at the famous magazine company since you can remember, always a cheerful receptionist. Loud, too. 
You wince. “Oh, you know…clumsy me?” 
"Eleanor is never going to let me take a vacation. I would have to die first."
Amelia’s eyes twinkle deviously. 
"Then that’s what we’ll do."
"Die?"
“It’s okay, I could open it myself,” you yelp as Lucy swings the door to your boss’ office. Let me, she insists as she pushes you in. Tumbling, you hurry to fix your posture as you nervously giggle, beady eyes staring back at your rude interruption. “I had no idea you were in the middle of a meeting.”
Eleanor and a crowded room all look you up and down before she sighs. “You’re already here, what is it that you need?” You shudder at her cold tone.
“I- uh- I mean, if it’s possible, I was t-thinking I could maybe get a m-m-month off?”
Oh no, someone whispers as they catch the editor-in-cheifs face change. Your stomach drops. Or not, I’m fine! The gray haired lady stands up as she tauntingly makes her way over, circling you like a hungry lion. “And why do you need a month off?”
“Doctor’s orders?”
She hums, analyzing your casted leg and left arm. “I’m sure you can type with your right hand. Off you go.” You blink. Once she takes a seat, she narrows her eyes again. “I said you can go.”
“Of course. Have a nice day.”
"She’s going to see right through me," you repeat for the millionth time as Amelia's boyfriend, Roman, works on the fake casts. 
She groans. "With that attitude she will! Get it together. You have to stand your ground and don't dare walk out of that office without a month off."
Terrified of your best friend, you nod. "Thank you again for this future doc, hope you don’t get fired."
He pales. "The things we do for the people we love, am I right?" Amelia blushes.
Letting out a shaky breath, you brace yourself before tripping and falling straight onto your back. The whole room gasps in shock as Eleanor stares back with a bored expression. Shit, are you okay? Peeking with one eye, you catch Grayson - Eleanor’s son - staring back with a helpful hand. 
He had always been nice to you, bringing you coffee whenever he was around. Sometimes he even helped you brainstorm new ideas. Your heart rate accelerates as you struggle to get up. Mother, she can’t be working in this condition. She huffs as she waves her hand in dismissal, Dior bracelets clicking against one another. 
A month. That’s it.
“Thank you,” you whisper as he helps you into your overly priced Uber. He tilts his head, slowly tracing your features.
“You're lying, aren’t you?” He signals at your poorly done cast. 
“I c-can explain-”
He laughs. “Your secret's safe with me.” Reaching over, he buckles you. Your breath hitches. “Enjoy your time off. I’ll be waiting for you.”
-
“I’ll be waiting for you!” You swoon as you retell your embarrassing story to the cozy couple who cuddle on the couch like proud parents. 
Amelia claps. “He’s the one! I feel it!” Roman scoffs. Settle down, daydreamers. Your friend slaps his hand. “Debbie Downer.” You giggle as she wiggles her eyebrows. “So…what are you going to do now that you're free?”
You tap your chin. “Um, probably write.”
Her smile falls. “This is the whole reason we even did any of this! For you to not think and just enjoy yourself!” 
Her boyfriend nods, floppy hair bouncing up and down. “Yeah, I didn’t go through all that,” he signals to the casts that lay by the doorway, “Just for you to lay around doing what you always do.” He stands up to grab an apple. “Travel, I’m serious.”
-
Amalfi Coast. It called you poor in seven different languages as you tug your suitcase into your AirBnB. Amelia and Roman had sat through 8 hours of planning everything, detail and safety included. 
"Oh, click that one!" Roman tsks his tongue as his fingers slide against the keypad. The blonde beams. "That’s perfect!"
"Perfectly out of my range," you sigh as you slap it shut. "I’ll die homeless if I stay there." The couple share a silent look before returning their attention.
"Well, we were thinking… " the brunette starts before your friend cuts him off, jumping up and down on his lap. He groans. 
"Sorry, honey, but anyways, we’ll pay for it!" Your jaw drops as you wave your finger, shutting down the idea.
"There’s no way I’m going to let you guys do that-"
"Okay, maybe not all, but at least a good chunk of it," she butts in as Roman stays with a soft smile. "Isn’t that right? " He nods.
"Take it as an early birthday present," he adds. Your chest tightens at their kind gesture.
"That’s still a lot of money." You grow light headed.
"Then no birthday presents for two years," Amelia squeaks as she grabs your hands over the coffee table. "Just don’t say no, you need this." You debate inside your head for a few minutes before letting out a shaky breath.
"No birthday presents for the rest of my life and we have ourselves a deal."
Which is how you landed in one the most beautiful homes you think you will ever see in your entire life. You can’t even pretend to try and fit in because everything seems to make your eyes pop out of their sockets. 
After a bit of unpacking, your sweet tooth gets the best out of you as you grab your purse and head out the door. You can’t help but take pictures at almost everything you see, but everyone was doing the same so there couldn’t be too much judgment. Paying for your lemon sorbet, you hum constantly as you stare into the ocean. The breeze was warm, but not obnoxiously so. The rocks underneath you tickle slightly as you get comfortable. 
Then you hear it, light snores. Startled, you turn over as you catch a man sleeping, arm laying over his stomach. You think about maybe moving location but when he releases soft whimpers, you find yourself growing sympathetic. What if he was in trouble? You couldn’t let a person die if they were three feet away from you. Hesitantly, you crawl your way over as you tap his leg.
“Ciao,” you say, but you can only catch his nose scrunching up since he had a hat laying over him, covering his mysterious features. Biting down on your lip, you dig your finger harder. “Ciaooo.” Sitting up abruptly, he groans, shoulder bumping against your cone. You yelp before pouting at your treat melting all over the surface. 
“Oh merda, colpa mia,” he apologizes as soon as he notices your gloomy mood. “Posso comprartene un altro se vuoi, ti prometto che non sono un serial killer-” Like a cat being bathed, you jump up high as you create a large distance. 
“Serial killer?” you squeal. He catches onto your accent swiftly as he waved his hands in defense. 
“I’m not! I’m not!” You eyed him suspiciously, chest heaving heavily. “I was offering to buy you another cone and saying that I’m not a sick serial killer, that’s all…” He signals to your desert. “I feel bad.”
Releasing a soft breath of relief, you smile politely. “Don’t worry about it. I was just trying to see if you were okay, you were kind of…” You theatrically twitch as he chuckles. Your cheeks burn up at the sound. 
“I’m fine, thank you.” A beat. “Sort of.” Softly narrowed eyes stare back at him. Do you need anything? He winces at the bright sun. “I feel a bit sick, if I’m being honest.” He zigzags a bit before falling straight into the rocks, painful grunts following. You shriek as you run over, flipping him onto his back.
“Holy fuck, holy fuck.” Other than a cut up lip, he’s fine, but he groans like there’s no tomorrow. Rightfully so, you start panicking as you dab his bottom lip with the hem of your shirt, then you remove his hat.
“Don’t!” But you’re already tossing it over your shoulder as you analyze his bruised up cheek. 
Green eyes look into yours as you stop breathing. His eyes are sensitive, like some sort of past soulmate, if you believe in that type of bullshit. His hair is rusty brown, long strands hitting up to his lashes. His nose is slightly pointy and it’s worse that they’ve always been your favorite kind. Lip swollen from his clumsiness, but a natural pink. Freckles and moles sprinkle along his face. 
Scooting away, he raises finger over his lips, cryptically telling you to hush. Confused, you lay your palm against his cheekbone. “You need to see a doctor.” Now he becomes visibly bewildered as he cocks his head to the side. You don’t know who I am? Flushed, you extend your hand, introducing yourself. “And you are?”
The brunette lets out an unhinged laugh as his large hand swallows yours. “Charles, I- I m-my name is Charles.” Dimples pop up from how wide he’s smiling, and that almost leaves you gasping for air. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise.” Then he grabs his head in discomfort. “Seriously though, you need to see a doctor.” No, he starts. You roll your eyes. “Fine, a medico or whatever you want to call it.” Helping him up, he leans against you as you wheeze.
“I’m perfectly fine, I just need to sleep.” He pants against your head, catching a whiff of your shampoo scent. “Pretty,” he mumbles. You blush harder. “Do you think you can take me to the nearest hotel?”
“I don’t know if that's such a good idea,” you mutter. “Don’t take it the wrong way, but I don’t know you at all.” He shyly nods before removing his arm away from your figure, and all of a sudden it’s cold. 
“I get it, don’t worry.” The green eyed boy waves goodbye before stumbling away. 
You have always been a bit of a people pleaser, one of your many flaws. Amelia and Roman had always called you out on it, stopping you from making stupid decisions.
But Amelia and Roman weren't here.
“Wait.” Charles turns around, loopy eyes squinting at your blurry physique. Making your way over, you take his arm and place it over you. “You can stay with me, I’m just up that hill.”
-
“You can’t be helping out boujee vagrants,” your friends scold you over the phone as you grimace. “Why would you do that?”
You nibble on your painted nail. “I felt bad…” 
Roman snickers before coming into frame. “What if he’s some kind of maniac?” Like a child, you shake your head.
“He said he wasn’t!”
The couple groan at your naiveness. “Boy, let’s just trust everyone we meet then!” The blonde pushes her face directly onto the screen. “You need to slap him awake and kick him out.” 
But there was something so peaceful and homey about the way Charles was sleeping, covered like a butterfly in a cocoon. His chest rises up and down as he occasionally reaches for the other pillow, bringing towards his chest. With one last glaze, you leave the bedroom.
“I can’t do that to him. He was in really bad shape, you should have seen him.”
God can’t even help her, Roman grunts before strolling away. Amelia sighs. “Listen, I know you’re just being a good person, but you don’t even know this guy. We just want you to be safe.” I know, you mumble, chewing on your hoodie’s string. She tips her head. “Let him stay the night if you want, but tomorrow, he leaves. I’m not playing around.”
“Tomorrow,” you reassure her before hanging up. 
-
He had slept for a day and a half and you were starting to get worried but after contemplating throwing his body over the balcony, he was stretching like a newborn baby. “That was the best nap I’ve had in years.” You chuckle awkwardly at the stranger.
“That was most definitely not a nap.” 
He smiles. “Did you sleep well?”
“So good,” you respond quickly and he would have settled with that if it weren’t for your dark under eyes.
“Shit, you haven’t slept?” 
“I did, I promise!” Green eyes reflect intently as you crumble. “Okay, I didn’t, but it was only for two days.” Two? You cringe. “There was just one bed and I didn’t know whether you were-” You trail off. 
“Wasn’t what?”
Maroon paints your cheekbones. “A psycho killer…” You can tell he’s offended by the way he rubs the tip of his nose, as if he’s trying to ease the tension.
“I’m not the Monster of Florence or anything like that,” he mutters as you begin to apologize, watching as he sits far enough away just in case you feel the need to bolt out the door. “But I understand why you don’t trust me. We don’t know each other…So, why don’t we work on that?”
It takes about an hour for him to tell you what he considers the basics about his entire persona, and you rant about your upbringing. He frowns.
“That must have sucked. Not having parents who believe in you.” You flinch at his truthful words.
“I think they’re starting to get it,” you pathetically try but even he can see right through your weak excuse. Focusing your attention onto your twiddling thumbs, you exhale. “How did your parents react when you told them you wanted to be a mechanic?”
The Monegasque seems stunned for a nanosecond before munching on a blueberry and crossing his arms. “Their only priority was for me to be happy and doing what I love.” You smile sadly.
“Are you happy? Do you love it?”
“It’s my favorite thing in the world.” 
You feel a giggle bubbling inside your throat with the way he speaks about his job, but then you’d be doing the exact same thing that others do to you. He coughs. “So tell me, you really faked an injury?”
Your stomach hurts from how much Charles was making you laugh and before either of you knew it, the sun had set. “Did we really just waste an entire day?” 
“I don’t see it as wasting my day. I really like talking to you.”
Forcing yourself to look away, you untuck your legs from underneath your butt. “Wanna grab something to eat?”
There’s a comfortable silence that lingers between you both as you walk the busy streets of Amalfi. “Do you really need to wear a beanie? It’s burning hot.” Looking around, he shrugs and continues walking. 
You settled on sharing a plate of pasta since it was almost bedtime and neither of you weren't that hungry. “Good, right?” he questions the moment you shut your eyes about the delicious taste. You hum. 
“Free orgasm right here.”
Choking on his food, he quickly takes a sip of water as you smack his back. “I think I’m good now,” he squeaks as you smile timidly. You can feel the way he judges you as you devour your fair share, but you can’t help it. Connecting your gaze to his, he looks away as he drops his fork against the fancy plate. “Thank you for letting me stay the night.”
“Oh. Yeah, no problem.”
The brunette chews on his bottom lip. “It was nice getting to know you, really.” You blink back dazed as he continues. “I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip.”
“You’re leaving?” Even your inquiry shocks you as he smiles back warmly. I don’t want to interrupt. You’re looking for peace, remember? Trying to think of a quick enough excuse, you say, “Having someone to keep me company doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world. I-I mean if you’re not busy.”
Under the table, you were crossing your fingers as he took in your offer. The brunette nods. “I guess it could be fun.”
-
“You did the right thing,” Amelia congratulates you the next time you call her. “Rather be safe than sorry.” 
Just then, Charles walks in with a bag of peaches, grinning proudly as he makes his way over. “Agreed. Listen Amelia, I have to go. Adventure awaits! Tell Roman that I miss him! Talk to you later!” Hanging up, you greet your roommate. Awkwardly, he passes you the juicy fruit. 
“Friend back home?” You hum, biting down. Taking a bite of his own, he bows his head. “You miss your boyfriend?” You stop chewing.
“Boyfriend? Oh, you mean Roman?” He clenches his jaw, then relaxes. You cackle loudly. “He’s my best friend's boyfriend,” you clarify. “We’re close - all of us.” 
“Oh.” Tossing the seed away, he rises up to his full height. “Wanna see something cool?”
-
“You got insurance?” you joke as he covers your eyes, leading you mysteriously. You’re not going to get hurt or die if that’s what you’re worried about. You giggle. Okay, we’re here. Removing his hands, you take a minute to adjust your eyesight. “What the fu-”
“Cool, right?”
You scoff. “Cool? This is beautiful.” Running over to the cherry red Ferrari, you reach out before turning back to the 26 year old. He nods. Delicately, you brush your hand against the leather seats. “Where did you get this?” 
“I know a guy.”
“Mafia leader?” 
“Ha-ha,” he mocks as he unlocks it, going in to open the door. “Hop in.”
Humid wind sends your hair flying as you let out loud shrieks from the speed. You don’t know how he found such an isolated spot, but you don’t ask questions with how much you enjoy the thrill. “Again, again!” you cheer as he does professional donuts. The car comes to a halt as you fling forward and he stays as straight as can be. 
“How about I teach you?”
“Okay, put the car in gear.” Following instructions, you listen attentively. “Turn the wheel and floor it, but make sure to be alert and keep your foot on the brake just in case.” Swinging harshly, you let out a scream. “It’s okay, try again.”
After a while, you still couldn’t get it down and your frustration was starting to show. But he was patient, spilling out different versions of advice. Twist sharply. Biting on your bottom lip, you huff before trying again. His words circle your mind as you drive the Ferrari straight ahead before turning the wheel and pressing down on the gas. Your adrenaline picks up when you realize what you had just done.
“That was perfect!” Raising his hand out for a high five, you squeal as you smack it hard. He hisses, but you’re on a roll. 
“Hold on, Charles, you're in for a ride.”
Though his car is moving fast, the Monegasque feels as if he’s stuck in slow motion as he admires the way you control the Ferrari. He'd be lying if he said he didn’t find any of this attractive. It took you a while, sure, but your determination got to him as he kept his eyes trained on you, peeking over at you where you sat mumbling the steps over and over. Arms maneuvering the wheel flawlessly, knotted hair fanning your face. Stepping on the break, he barely has a moment to react before he slams right onto the dashboard. You wince.
“I should have warned you, crap! But you were doing so good! Your head would not move an inch.” Admiration paints your voice. Embarrassed, he rubs his temple.
“I got a bit distracted, but I’m fine.”
“Okay,” you mumble skeptically. Honking the prancing horse, you turn to him with a Cheshire Cat grin. “How about a drink, professor? My treat.”
-
“What’s the occasion?” the bartender asks as he fills two glasses of whiskey. I can do donuts now, you brag. His brows raise up in shock. “That’s impressive. It takes a good person to teach you.”
“It does, but lucky for me, I got it.” Discreetly you point over at Charles who sits with yet another baseball hat. “He’s pretty great.” The man's face drops as he leans against the table, getting closer to you.
“I’d say so! That’s Charles Leclerc.” Flabbergasted as to how he knows his name, you take the two drinks and raise them up as a silent thank you. “Free drinks on me if you need anymore, amore!”
On the way back to the small table, you ponder on the weird encounter. Had they met before? Perhaps Charles had fixed his car or something along the lines. Grazie, the Monegasque smiles as he takes a sip of the cool drink. You do the same, wide eyes shining at the taste. “Holy crap, this is good.” Swallowing the rest of the golden liquid, you signal at the bartender for the rest of the bottle. Nodding, he brings it over as Charles lowers his head, green eyes trained on his lap.
“It’s somehow sweet,” you narrate as you serve yourself another. “More?” He shakes his head, wavy hair following his movement. It’s the Italian charm. You hum against your cup. “Must be. Tastes like paradise.”
It’s safe to say that you were obsessed the minute you started growing tipsy. Squinting at the squawking girl who was pouring her heart out on the stage, microphone in hand, you snap your fingers loudly, jumping up. That. I want to do that! Your travel buddy chuckles. “You do?” 
“Of course I do. Plus, my voice is all warmed up.” Massaging your throat, you march over at the little old lady who plays the tarnished piano. “Potrei cantare dopo?” She nods kindly before wrapping up the song. I have another one in me, the girl yelps as her friends pull her off stage. 
“Oh great, a drunk removed for another drunk,” someone shouts out when you stumble on stage. 
“Hey. Blame the delicious drinks!” Flipping through the book, you narrow your eyes. “This one,” you cheer excitedly as you whisper into her ear. She beams. No one ever asks for that one! Practicing against the keys, she nods as you twirl your way back on stage. 
All eyes are on you as you play with the hem of your mini dress. Normally, you’d be a nervous wreck, and maybe the liquor helped, but you weren’t afraid of making a fool out of yourself. 
“You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere. Maybe we make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere.” Soft keys echo through the small bar - for sure a guitar would have been better, but something about the familiar instrument makes Charles feel cozy as he listens to your voice. It isn’t perfect - you were drunk after all - but it was enough to make everyone listen closely like you were some divine object. 
Swaying, with you smiling sheepishly as you move your eyes through the crowd of strangers, and you’re glad the green eyed boy isn’t one of them. Is it fast enough so we can fly away? The brunette  grins at you as you spin in your dress, ponytail fluttering like grass in the gentle breeze. 
“So I remember we were driving, driving in your car. Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk. City lights lay out before us, and your arm felt nice wrapped ‘round my shoulder.”
There is some sort of unexplainable shift inside of you as you feel yourself sober up with his intense stare. His brows are drawn softly, listening to your sweet voice, as if you would disintegrate and never be seen or heard of again. A click - you just clicked.
“And I had a feeling that I belonged. I had a feeling I could be someone.”
-
Kicking the door wide open, Charles carries you in as he settles you on the bed. You flop around like a fish out their tank for good measure, then pout, bare feet pressing up against his clothed abs. He halts. “I need to change…take off all my makeup...” All of it, you mouth, droopy eyes struggling to stay open. 
“I can get you what you need.” Last time he dug through a girl's suitcase, on a mission to find all her essentials, he had a girlfriend. Pushing away his thoughts, he jogs back over to your limp body. “Okay, here you-” 
Curled up like a rolly polly, you breath gently as you sleep. The 26 year old isn’t too surprised, but rather confused. Does he just leave you now? Pacing the room, he nibbled down on his nails as he weighed his options. He could let you sleep peacefully and possibly get a beating in the morning for leaving you to rot with all the nastiness or he could get it done quick - not look twice - and maybe still get a beating.
“I’ll be fast,” he mutters to himself as he grabs your makeup wipes. He tries to be as ginger about it, a cool towel erasing your light makeup. As soon as you scrunch your face up like a baby rabbit, he stops and rushes away. Good enough.
Now comes the complicated part. Slip the dress off, change her into her jammies. Easy peasy. But the more he thinks about it, the more he’s unsure. One night with your outside clothes won’t kill you. 
“Take it off, Charles, please,” you grumble as you tug on your dress. His Adam's Apple bobs up and down with panic as he nods to himself. Green eyes flicker the room before they land on his t-shirt. Oversized - would cover you whole - fast. 
As if he’s being chased down by the police, he runs over and in a quick motion, slides your dress off before tugging his shirt over your head, dropping your passed out body onto the bed and throwing the duvets over you. Grazie, you murmur from underneath as he sighs.
“Don’t mention it.”
-
“Fucking hell,” you groan, clearly feeling the awful hangover. After promising to never drink again, you rub your eyes as you yawn, focus becoming drawn to the black shirt. Your stomach drops. No, no, no. Hurrying to look for your phone, you quickly unlock it before freezing.
Who is Charlz Leclerk? You can’t even recall when you must've searched this up, but Google definitely understood your investigation.
"Tell me, Nico," you pout as you take a sip of your whiskey as you wait for Charles to come out of the bathroom. "How do you know my friend's name?"
He beams excitedly. “Amore! He’s…” Blinking harshly, you try your best to listen and read his lips as he makes funny hand gestures. For a second, you swore he was swerving an invisible car. Waving his hand, he laughs. "Look him up."
Monegasque racing driver; Formula One; Currently racing for Scuderia Ferrari. 
“What?” you whisper as you throw your phone away, eyeing it like the plague. No. Charles was a mechanic - a mechanic, for god sakes. 
“Oh good, you’re awake.” He tosses you a paper bag. “It’s a sandwich. Eat.”
How can he even look at you and act like everything is okay? Did he do anything wrong? No, not really, but why would he keep this from you? You’re surprised to find yourself feeling hurt by his secretive actions as he stares back innocently. 
“Is it not good?” he questions when you chomp down sadly. It is, you reassure with a mouthful. “Hey, I was thinking we could go for a swim. The weather is nice out.”
“Mhmm,” you respond meekly. “Is it okay if I meet you there? I-I was thinking I could rinse my body first.” 
The brunette nods. “I can wait for you.”
“No!” You blush at your eager tone. “We’ll just meet up.” Okay? Grabbing his things and yours, he strolls out the door, but not before gifting you a small wink. Call me if you get lost. “Asshole!” you cry out as he chuckles, slamming the door behind him.
In a matter of seconds, you’re already dialing work. “Lucy! Is Eleanor there?” Sweetheart, how are you? How’s the leg? The arm? Do you need me to- “I’m fine. Can you connect me to Eleanor, it’s urgent.” The older lady giggles as she switches you over. 
“This better be good.”
Clearing your throat, you fiddle with the hem of his shirt. “I have an exclusive.” 
Eleanor’s rich and elegant voice scoffs. “What about your arm?”
“Like you said,” you hum. “I still got my right one."
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copperbadge · 6 months
Text
Lying in bed this morning, working on a bit in the novel about defining "shoulder season" for the reader, I realized what my personal aesthetic is currently: Tourist Gothic.
Tourist Gothic as a fashion statement is based on the following precepts.
1. Comfort. Comfortable, weather-appropriate clothing is rarely glamorous, but I'm not here to win Drag Race. I'm on vacation and wearing what best combines 'I like how I look in this so you don't have to' with 'I can wander around a strange place for hours.' If everyone you meet is someone you'll never see again, their opinion of you is irrelevant.
2. Loudness. My traveling companions need to be able to spot me easily. A bright floral print or a weird hat is just the thing. (Protip if you like me are prone to wandering away from the group, a really weird hat is the best way to make sure they can find you. I have a newsboy cap with wings sewn onto it for just such a purpose.)
3. Delight. Where else but on vacation can I wear my Costco Hot Dog t-shirt? On vacation it's appropriate whether I'm at a sausage sizzle, a football match, or an art museum.
4. Utility. If I have to, I can wash my entire wardrobe in a hotel room sink. The socks can be soaked and frozen in a plastic bag to use as an ice pack. Everything has pockets and nothing hurts.
5. Sincerity. Nothing a tourist wears is worn ironically. Commitment to the bit must be total.
The central precept of the look is that one is too concerned with both comfort and adventure to conform to dress code. I don't want to blend in, I want you to take me to the best local cuisine you have and overcharge me for it. I am here to admire your architecture and support your economy. Now just apply all that to everyday life, and boom. Tourist Gothic.
If you're wondering how this differs from everyday Dad Wear, your average Tourist Goth has slightly higher emotional investment in sandals and sunscreen and a lower commitment to belts overall.
Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk, so glad to see so many of you are wearing golf shorts.
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syneilesis · 4 months
Text
[fic] if only for a moment
if only for a moment
Love and Deepspace | Rafayel (Qi Yu) x Main-Character!Reader | T | 3.6k words | ao3 link (with correct formatting)
Rafayel waits. And waits. And waits.
A/N: Another LaD fic!! This time it's Rafayel. Several elements of this fic are inspired by and loosely based on his story anecdotes and bond story, plus that Deep Sea card line backdrop. So more spoilers in this one, I'm afraid. I think you need to be aware of them in order to follow the flow of the fic. But if not, here's what you need to know: basically Rafayel accepts a visiting professorship at the University of Linkon to reunite with the MC/you. And the prose poetry interspersed are loosely situated in the Deep Sea card lineup setting (you can search in YouTube for the scenes. This one is a brief glimpse of the scene). That princess/knight(??) dynamic is yum yum.
If possible, please read the version on AO3. I formatted the prose poems there as if they're really prose poetry, so I'd appreciate it if you check that out. (Though there isn't too much difference between the formatting here and there, I did make the effort of coding a little 🥺)
Anyhoo, hope you enjoy, and I am sO STOKED FOR THE OFFICIAL RELEASE. rip my wallet 💸😭
JUST LOOK AT THIS MAN AND BELIEVE
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There’s a type of berry in a distant land that produces a rare shade of ink that matches the color of your eyes. It takes a hundred of them to create the right hue and volume for the art that he wants to make. It comes to him in a dream: endless desert, then fireworks of verdant sparks that coalesce into stem, leaf, and, finally, fruit. Rafayel remembers that land, so much different from the iridescent blue of ocean underwater, and the acrid gold of the barren desert. His mouth filled with the succulent sweetness of the dream, the lingering sandpaper roughness of the berries on his fingers. He already knows the name of the artwork even before he’s begun—Waiting, Missing. The ache in his bones gaining form, an intangible thing taking flesh.
+
Under the ocean surface, time is muted, a deafening thickness that surrounds you with its ambiguity. On land, however, it is linear, and fast, and in a matter of blinks, Rafayel’s visiting professorship nearly wraps up.
He’s only glimpsed you once or twice. Thrice at most. The university is big, but not big enough to warrant a dearth of fateful encounters. The first time he saw you it was at a coffee shop: walking along with your friends outside, your voice mellifluous and festive wafting through the trellis of the café entrance. You were talking about him—well, about Lemuria to be specific, but these days any talk of Lemuria inevitably draws in his name.
He’s committed your schedule to memory, and yet it just seems impossible to capture a moment with you. Even just a brush of shoulders, or of sleeves—an asymptote of contact. Just navigating around your orbit, but never truly meeting.
What would it be like—finally talking to you? You in front of him, face to face? Rafayel imagines the ache of waiting fading into the background until it’s completely gone. He yearns for that feeling, the release of it. A conclusion—or maybe even a beginning.
+
i. take my hand, he told you under the glow of the lustrous moon, the only source of light that contoured the secretive valleys of his face. i want to show your highness something. there was a country, he said, beyond the undulating monochrome of the desert, blanketed by lush trees and shrubberies and flowers that buildings were made in betwixt and around them—a nation of trailing and winding architecture, a marriage of the natural and the manmade. you wanted to ask why he’d planned on taking you there, and the only answer you got was a curt turn of his head and the profile of a masked man layered by shadows and distance. it would have been nice, you thought, if the moon poured light upon his hooded gaze.
+
Eventually he begins to frequent the café. Twice a week at first—he doesn’t want to come off strong right away, of course—and then making his way up until he’s hanging out there more than his own studio. He schedules his visits around your classes, always during the ones when the probability of you dropping by the café is high and he can ‘coincidentally’ be around the same area. It’s gotten to a point that Thomas calls him out on it, and nags at him to focus more on his painting. The next exhibit is immediately after his visiting professorship after all.
“From where I’m standing,” Thomas says, “you’re not painting at all.”
Rafayel ignores him.
Five minutes later, he says, “Not painting is part of the painting process.”
Thomas rolls his eyes, but he leaves him to it.
At the café, Rafayel attracts curious looks. A few attempt to approach him, but he pretends not to see them. They linger around the periphery, like moths to flame.
And then something happens: the entrance door chimes, and you swan into the coffee shop, earphones and denim overall skirt, the kind of rosy-cheeked image Rafayel finds on teen magazines, wide-eyed and earnest. You fall in line and order when it’s your turn, and your eyes sweep across the packed café searching for a vacant seat until they finally land on him.
Rafayel’s heart stumbles.
Up close, the baby fat on your cheeks still gives you the appearance of being younger than you actually look. You turn a polite smile his way, and his heart stutters again—but this time it is taken as a warning.
“Hi,” you say, tentative. Any hint of recognition absent. “Do you mind if I sit here?”
+
ii. you're counting the steps of your inevitable parting. you're at the edge of the desert, far away from your home and its familiar scents, oriented towards a direction that promised a future sad memory, the gentle warmth of his hand, the downward denial of his gaze. this longing that grew out of your bones, aching during cold, aching during heat, aching when he looked at you with such tenderness he had to hide it through the sharp tug of your joined hands, the long strides that opened up a lonely distance. intimacy was dangerous, knowing was dangerous, the bowels of his heart like a solitary flower on a high peak. what would you do to such loneliness?
+
Memory isn't always an infallible thing. The human brain cannot hang on to every moment of your life, though Rafayel wishes it were so. But still—to think that you would forget him, and it hasn’t even been a century. You were like a phantom thief stealing his heart in the night—no recourse, no resolution.
To wait is to be in agony, the burn of yearning locked within the heart. Rafayel has been waiting for a long time, and the only memory scorched in his heart is fire, the blaze and its blinding, all-consuming want.
What would you do to such want?
+
You have a blurry childhood, Rafayel discovers. After the first Wanderer descended on Earth, the incident strummed your memories like a stringed instrument that tired of the same chord, over and over. It had bothered you at first—not being in control of your own memories—but eventually you had learned to live with it.
“Grandma and Caleb—my childhood friend—helped me through the process,” you tell him, stirring your iced mocha with its straw. “I owe them a lot.”
Eyes cast down, but still the melancholy shadows remain in your expression. Rafayel folds his arms on the table, and leans closer.
Around them only a few people occupy the coffee shop at this time. How fortunate for Rafayel to catch you during your break while every other student is trapped in class lectures.
“There’s no use in dwelling upon what's already happened. Even sharks have to give up when their prey escapes. When you remember, it will be all the more joyous, no?”
The smile you give him is crooked, disbelieving.
“If I remember.”
“You’ll remember.” Because there’s no other choice, for you and for him. Rafayel cannot bear being shelved in the history of your smile and happiness. Waiting can only be endurable if there’s an endpoint.
+
In his studio, Rafayel begins his next painting.
+
iii. the berries tasted sweet, with an edge of sourness that clung to the bottom of the tongue. it had the exact shade of your eyes, a detail that rafayel brought up the moment he plucked it from the shrub. raising it to align with your eyes, comparing them with his artist's meticulous gaze. maybe when this is all over, i'll go back here again to extract ink from these berries, and paint a portrait of your highness using these to color your eyes. he never showed you any of his paintings, merely mentioned them in passing, and you constructed a dream of him from the throwaway words that left his covered lips. i'm not used to sitting for so long, you reminded him, and he glanced at you, then at the berry between his fingers. my memory is enough, then handed you the fruit.
+
In the few weeks of meeting with you Rafayel forgets that his visiting professorship is ending soon and he has to give out his last lecture. Thomas had asked him what his topic would be. At that point Rafayel had no answer. But now he has.
“I’ve been hearing you talk about Lemuria every now and then with your friends.” He props his cheek on his hand, tilting his head slightly and giving you a charming smile. “Interested?”
You blink. “How did you know?”
“Oh, I’ve seen you a couple of times here, and I happened to hear your friends chat about my lecture. Your points were almost accurate, I’m in awe.”
“The visiting professor—that’s you?!”
Rafayel pauses, the slosh of his drink nearly spilling on his frozen hand.
“You didn’t know?”
Sheepish, you say, “Honestly, I didn’t make the connection. Is that why plenty of people have been glaring at me as of late?”
He releases a frustrated sigh, eyes rolling heavenward.
“In any case, my final lecture is on Friday next week. It’s titled “Memory and Meaning in Lemurian Art”. Why don’t you drop by and listen, and you can tell me what you think afterwards.”
You retrieve your bullet journal to check your schedule. It’s colorful, filled with stickers and doodles that Rafayel finds endearing. Then the excited moue on your face drops into a frown, and Rafayel can foresee the next words that will come out of your downturned lips.
“I’m sorry,” you say guiltily, “but I have a major test that day, and I need to get a high score in order to pass the course.”
Rafayel exhales, long and weary, but ultimately shrugs off the apology. “What a shame, but I forgive you. Just don’t fail your exam or else my magnanimity would be all for nothing.”
+
He calls Thomas that night.
“I’ll disappear for a while once the professorship is over.”
“Hey, wait, what do you me—”
“You’ll be happy to know that this is for my next painting.”
A beat. “Okay … but for how long?”
“That’s the question, isn’t it?”
Then he hangs up.
+
He’s trying, he really does. The lecture ends to a resounding applause, and it’s mechanical how he answers the questions posed by the audience. But he’s trying, he’s trying. There’s no specter of you in the sea of faces in the auditorium. You’re at the other end of the university compound, sweating your way through your exam. He genuinely hopes you’d pass, for your sake.
Thomas had booked his flight to another country, where he’ll traverse to a land that he’d visited many times in his dreams and had woken up with a filmy, sweet-sour tang at the roof of his mouth. He’ll leave the morning after the closing dinner party the faculty has prepared for him. There isn’t time to pack much, and no time to tell you goodbye.
Rafayel guesses that it’s only fair: how would you feel waiting for him at that café, the chair across you empty, only the sunlight pooling from the window as your companion?
+
iv. parting, somebody once said, is such a sweet sorrow. much like those berries in that ever-green nation, a lingering sourness remained underneath, the sting of it reminding you every now and then. he was already mourned for even before he left. tell me what it's like—the ocean. he was elusive, untouchable in his grief. you'd heard through whispers, the story of his migration, the drowning before the drying, the unwanted journey. grief brought him to you and grief would steal him away from you, you knew, down to the cells of your body and the hopelessness in your blood. —and yet. and yet you wanted to have a taste of it, anyway.
+
The ever-green land is no longer green, or lush, or alive. Time corroded it into memory, sepia-faded, wizened. Past. The berries he’s searching for don’t grow here anymore. Everything here is empty, barren, helplessly so.
Rafayel hasn’t accounted for such development, but he should have known. Disappointment stings at his chest, and bitterly he turns away and stays at the next town over. At a family-run restaurant situated near the outskirts, he looks over the wide windows, across the highway road, beyond the jagged horizon. The painting won’t be finished, then. Another tragedy, pressed flat next to the forgetting, to the waiting, and his home.
The chef personally serves him his order and, after a shuffle of hesitation, brings up a question.
“Young man, you came from the direction of the old country, yeah?”
Rafayel meets his inquisitive gaze. “Yes, why?”
“It’s been a while since we had someone visiting that place. There’s nothing in there anymore, it’s been that way for years. Why did you go there?”
Rafayel is reluctant to say, but at the guileless set of the older man’s face, he concedes.
“I was looking for berries. The ones native there. They produce a shade that I need for my painting.”
At the mention of the fruit, the chef’s expression lights up. “Oh! I see, I see. You’re in luck, son. We grow them here at the farm. Plenty of those for everyone. How about I give you some? It’s rare meeting someone who still remembers the old country, it’s almost fate. How many did you say you need?”
Fate. Just like the time of your first meeting, as if the universe had gifted you to him. Just like the time of your parting, of your forgetting, of his waiting. Fate as a connection from you to him, red and burning brightly.
He doesn’t want to seem eager, but he knows he’s failed from the way the chef toothily grins at him.
“A hundred or so.”
The chef falters at that, jerking slightly back. But he accepts it with a nod, an avuncular smile making its way across his kind, powdery features.
“That sure is a huge number, but I think we can work something out.”
+
His painting takes a month to complete, inclusive of the time spent making the ink from the acquired berries. Sometimes, Thomas watches him paint, quiet in the background. His stays usually don’t last—a quick flash that Rafayel nearly misses, or deliberately ignores. But during the final stages of the painting process, Thomas hands him the exhibit details.
“I’m just thankful you’re on time for this one.” He sighs, relieved, then leaves.
Alone, Rafayel creates. Brushstroke after careful brushstroke, each varying by pressure and angle. He lets each layer of paint dry before moving onto the next. The berry ink—the color of your eyes—the solely different element of this painting. Center, central. The focal point. The beating heart. The years and years of waiting and longing. The form and the flesh. Alive.
This, too, is an endpoint.
+
v. can i see your face, just this once? your hands grazed his mask like a ghost wanting to touch. rafayel stayed still beneath your desirous fingers, observing, waiting, his own fingers twitching towards his dagger. even in the parting he could not let go of this distance. hopeless, hopeless. your highness would get nothing out of seeing my face. he's wrong, his eyes never left your face, and he's wrong. he didn't stop you from your grasping of his mask, and him—finally—bare and beautiful yet a little sad. you're wrong, you said, tracing his slightly parted lips with a trembling finger, you're wrong. it is everything to me.
+
The gallery is packed. No surprise there. It’s almost boring, in a way. Waiting, Missing hangs at the farthest hall in the floor, special and intimate as it should be. Thomas knows him well; otherwise, Rafayel would have whined at him to hell and back just so he could be granted this demand that is in reality a mandate.
He’s hiding from the throngs of journalists and art critics alike and sequesters himself in a corner that has a clear view of the painting. Loosening his collar and tie, Rafayel breathes and closes his eyes, leans tiredly against the wall. A few more minutes, and he’ll slink out of the building, reputation be damned.
He melts into the shadows whenever somebody passes by. He has neither time nor energy interacting with people today. Watching them through half-mast eyes, Rafayel stays in his secret place and studies with weightless detachment the people looking at the painting.
He’s made a bet with himself about the opinions of his followers and admirers. Who thinks what and why. It makes for great entertainment. The last time, a fresh-faced critic praised Rafayel’s technique as “innovative and a soul-rending reflection of the prodigy’s character.” He had laughed and laughed for hours until he couldn’t breathe any longer.
Another walks by, and before Rafayel retreats further into the corner, he glimpses a familiar gait and a familiar face.
His heartbeat races. He’s never told you that he’s holding an exhibit today. After the professorship Rafayel failed to maintain communication with you, convincing himself that it’s for the best that he protect you from afar that day onwards. It didn’t help that he had to leave as well. At the same time, you never made an effort of reaching out, and Rafayel thought that it was back to square one again, that waiting, that yearning.
But here you are right now, elegantly dressed, like someone gliding out of a dream. Rafayel swallows, his hands shake. You do not have someone else with you, and your eyes are brightly focused on Waiting, Missing, and for a fleeting moment your expression flickers into longing, strange and old and battered and sad, that it compels Rafayel to take a step forward—to you.
“Hey.”
The curious look vanishes; left no traces in your delighted face, as if it wasn’t there in the first place. “Rafayel!” you exclaim. “Long time no see! Congratulations on the exhibit; these are all beautiful.”
Outwardly he smirks, belying the torrential emotions he’s currently going through. He cants his head a little, works his charm on you. “Impressed? No need to hold back your compliments.”
Laughter, prismatic and crystalline. “Yes, yes. Especially this one—Waiting, Missing. What an interesting title. At the center, what paint did you use?”
Ah. Rafayel inhales before answering. “It’s actually ink. I had to make it from a hundred berries. It was a tedious process, but I wouldn’t use anything else. It has to be this, you see.”
“Whoa, no wonder you’d been radio silent all this time. You were creating this masterpiece.”
He hums, afraid that, if he speaks, he’d reveal too much.
“Well …” You throw a playful glance at him. “Shouldn’t we celebrate your success?”
His breath catches. “I—”
Before he manages to finish the sentence, a journalist calls out to him and that summons plenty more, swarming him with no chance of escape. It pushes you out of his peripheral vision, and Rafayel wants to shout your name, but you smile and gesture at him to entertain them first. You mouth, I’ll be back, and wander around other paintings some more.
When he finally succeeds in shaking the journalists off, he seeks you out and stumbles upon you near the exit, where there’s fewer people to pile on him.
“Excellent,” he says, sidling up beside you. You turn to him and smile, and there’s that lightning-flash of something again. For one unbelievably surreal instant, Rafayel thinks that despite your hazy memories, maybe you’d been waiting for him all this time, too.
And that thought emboldens him, moving closer and closer until your bodies almost touch. An asymptote of contact. But this time, he has mustered the courage to close that unbridgeable gap.
Rafayel offers you his hand. “Let’s get out of here?”
You stare at his hand then at his face, his eyes, and a meaningful moment stretches between you and him. But even before the idea of retracting enters his mind, you grab his hand joyfully, grinning ear to ear. His heart warms, full with everything.
You squeeze his hand, ready to go. “Lead the way, then!”
+
vi. a kiss is a greeting and a goodbye, and rafayel tasted of ferocious tides even if you'd seen them only in dreams. his eyes closed, as though savoring his last moments with you, guarded till the bitter end. would that i could ask you to stay—with me. but he shook his head—a final rejection. maybe in another life. there was nobody to watch you cry, in the after.
+
Rafayel is working on a new painting—a portrait this time. The model squirms on his couch, obvious about the discomfort of posing for too long. He huffs a laugh to himself, hidden by the canvas strategically placed between them.
“I heard that,” you grumble.
“Shush, you’re breaking my concentration.”
“If that already breaks your focus then I pity the rest of the art community.” A beat, then: “Is it done?”
“Patience, my dear muse. You need endure it a little more.”
“Hmph, fine. But after this you’re treating me to an all-you-can-eat buffet.”
“All right, all right.” He shakes his head, fond. “My muse, so demanding.”
Something sweet touches the edge of his tongue, succulent with a hint of tartness. Like longing. Except now, it’s layered with something new and exciting. Something like a new beginning.
In the far distance, the sea murmurs, lit fire by the setting sun.
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burnorgetburned · 8 months
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okay. OKAY. I JUST WANT TO SAY.
NEW MUSIC STYLE. NEW ART STYLE. NEW MAGIC SYSTEM, NEW GIRLS, MORE CLARA DOLLS, MORE HOMURA OUTFITS, MORE EVERYONE OUTFITS, and AAHAHAHAHSGH.
Homura wins by style points alone.
Anyway. Choice screenshots and my thoughts on them. Plus a few wild theories. Replies, tags, and your own reactions are VERY welcome.
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(You're doing great, sweetie!)
First of all, I’ve already said this, but Homura has usurped Kyubey. She is the contractor in this new system. She calls magical girls and asks them if they can bear the responsibility of fighting (LEAGUES better than Kyubey's misleading BE A HERO language), using a magical lizard phone. She knows better than anyone else how heavy this is.
And she looks amazing while doing it. Look at that outfit! Look at her steampunk-esque aesthetic! Her throne. Which, notably, has glowing magenta eyes and her wings as a backrest.
The moon is either actually, physically repurposed, or she’s made something that looks like it. Not only that, but the pins going into the moon are exactly like the pins that went into her soul gem when she was being experimented upon in Rebellion. Those pins, according to the artbook, are for draining her gem of grief to keep her just before the point of witching.
Well, here’s my first wild speculation: Homura has not only taken over Kyubey’s job as a contractor but also its job of disposing of grief. That moon steampunk device is maybe for collecting, concentrating, and distilling grief into energy - hence the strange tesla coils connected to red liquid in the second screenshot above. She's doing what Kyubey says it's doing - turning the grief of people into energy to prolong the universe's lifespan.
I for one support her reality-warping shenanigans.
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Here are some voices over a phone, sometimes speaking over each other, sometimes together. They call Homura “Akuma-sama” (!!!) which is a distinct upgrade from calling her Good-For-Nothing. They say “Just bring hope” like a mission statement. Are these her contracted girls? Or her Clara Dolls? They seem to show her a lot of respect.
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I’ve also said this, but I strongly feel that this and the girl shown later are some of Homura’s new contractees. Their magic is darker. It warps the world around them, even. Their outfits incorporate black a lot more, too, though that might be the lighting.
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Look at the little sigil on the top left-middle! Looks a lot like Homura’s lizard sigil shown when she was consuming the universe, just with a longer lizard.
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And, of course, the image of Madoka throwing herself off of a building. “Wraith” and “Legend of Bestie” (lmao) show up here. I’ve actually been really looking forward to seeing what they’ll do with Madoka’s… self-sacrificial tendencies, so this might be part of that. Or, because of “Wraith”, it’s… well, I’ll get to that later.
On the other hand, it might not be Madoka. It might be the girl who the speaker in the phone call calls her "best friend", jumping to her death because of a wraith, and Homura saving her to fulfill a wish.
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So glad that the insane architecture from Rebellion is making a comeback. Love what you’ve done with the place, Homura. Look at all those cranes!
The outfit changes are very cool to me. I honestly don’t have speculation for why Sayaka is covered in bandages, but I do have speculation for the changes!: they’re older. Years have passed. Since they’ve changed and grown, their outfits have changed, too. I don't have proof of this - I just like the idea.
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Light shines down on Madoka. Petals fall towards her as flowers bloom above. Behold, Homura's extremely subtle and inscrutable feelings. (Sorry for the blurry Madoka, but I am not going through the ordeal of uploading screenshots to my computer again because Tumblr does not like mobile users).
Homura is apparently waiting for Madoka here. She's standing right in the fountain's water and holding a Victorian umbrella like a vampire. Right now we can see that the visuals of this movie will not miss.
Is this a routine thing for them or is Homura just showing up to greet them this one time, for some reason? No clue. Madoka's expression as she notices Homura could indicate either.
Eagle-eyed people on Twitter noticed this, but in these shots, Sayaka already has her bandages.
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Aside from the multiple and/or teleporting Homuras, there's also a Clara Doll in a ballerina dress and a cute Clara Doll peering over the side of the tower like a little kid.
The tower is interesting. It appears to be made of books or pages, and there's chains throughout it. More notably, it's in the shape of a helix - infinity symbols on top of each other.
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Please appreciate these Clara Dolls. I'm sure they're working hard.
But seriously, those Clara Dolls' details. One has a witch's hat. One has an apple on its head. And the one with a teacup appears to have not only a lizard's tail but a replica of Homura's Devil outfit. Appreciate them!
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Here is Homura(?), lounging or trapped on a chair filled with even more of those pins. Look at her closely. She's wearing a strange combination of her magical girl outfit and her Devil outfit - her shoulders are bare, and she has... feathers? She's sitting on a bunch of nails. But she also has two soul gems - one in her hand, and one hanging from her neck.
Is she cleansing them? Eating them? Holding people hostage? I don't know, but I support her completely.
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She looks so tired.
So: here's some of what I think might be going on.
Homura is using wraiths to repress her worst memories. We know already that wraiths take memories and emotions from their victims. Well, there's no reason it can't be used as extremely terrible coping! Homura actually does this in the Wraith Arc, too - she lets a wraith take her feelings for Madoka.
If it is Madoka, it explains the shot with Madoka throwing herself off a builing - what if Homura has seen this happen in the loops, and out of pain lets a wraith pull it right out of her? The shot says "WRAITH" and billows with smoke. A wraith could have taken Madoka's form to act out this memory. And it doesn't need to be a memory - it could also represent Madoka's self-sacrifice and almost suicidal tendencies. This, too, would explain the multiple Homuras. All wraiths using her form.
This puts forward powerful enemies for the plot, as well as an interesting point of literally fighting Homura's demons. Most importantly, this lets everyone see Homura's pain.
Other wild dartboard speculations:
Homura will try and present herself as a villain. This is, honestly, kind of guaranteed, but it bears mentioning that her magical girls will be very likely to try to defend her.
Kyubey may appear to try and turn the girls against Homura.
Homura made the new magical girl who is drawing a bow. She has a lot of design choices from the Quintet, and people have already noticed how much she looks like Madoka. This new girl plays a role of the hero to Homura's pretend-villain, eliminating the risk that her friends will get seriously hurt.
The new magical girl is actually Madoka. Or the Law of Cycles. Or Kriemhild Gretchen.
The girl who jumps from the tower is a contractee being asked to take a leap of faith. She does so, and Homura rewards her with magic.
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ghouljams · 8 months
Note
I DONT KNOW WHY, but bewitched by laufey awfully reminds me of knight ghost with princess reader
except the song would be ghost's pov
abso-fucking-lutely you're right on all of that. Here's the bewitching:
If you'd told Ghost that he'd be called on to be the crown princess's personal guard, he would've laughed. He would've told you he was hardly interested in such an "honor" and that he's sure her most royal brattiness must have better prospects to scare off. Surely you must have been such a petty handful that the other knights offered the position had declined, leaving him next in the long line.
Although, it was flattering to hear he was even in consideration. He'd sure worked his ass off to be the best of the best. Making something out of nothing but a failing title thanks to his father's- Well, the man was a better father 6ft underground than he'd ever been in life, and that's all he really needed to say on it. Ghost didn't think much of the summons. He couldn't ignore it, of course, but that didn't mean he had to take it seriously. He could run a little late.
Ghost's pace is slow as he walks through the castle. Admiring the architecture, he told his escort, who looked far less than pleased with that answer. He did his best to stall, hopefully the princess would be fuming by the time he arrived and he could be dismissed easily. No muss, no fuss.
Uneven footsteps race down the hall behind him as he and his escort turn the corner. He pays it no mind, likely a maid, no reason to pay them mind. Until they slam into his back and bounce off. He turns, wide eyed, in time to see you fall on the floor, landing hard on your ass with a pained expression. It doesn't fit such a pretty face. Your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath, and Ghost has to shake himself out of staring at you. His escort has already scurried ahead to see about buying him some time.
"You alright?" Ghost asks, helping you to your feet. You wobble a little, he keeps hold of your hand to keep you steady. "You broken?" He tries, brow furrowing at your changing height as you shift on your feet. He doesn't know you, he certainly wouldn't be here if he did.
"No," You lift your foot, and Ghost glances down, one of your feet already in just a sock, "but, I'm afraid I'm running terribly late." You tell him, glancing behind you and pushing your hair out of your face as you unlace your remaining shoe.
"Maybe I can help you, where-" Ghost watches as you tug your shoe off and shove it against chest.
"Hold that please," He blinks, and takes the heel from you, judging by your clothes you must be of high status. He's never seen a lady running around barefoot before. "Now if you'll excuse me, Sir Knight, I really am in a rush, and I have a baron hot on my tail attempting to hold me hostage another hour still."
Another glance behind you, one Ghost leans to check for as well. You must be quick to have outrun a man he can't even see the sweat of. He wonders if you lost your other shoe somewhere along the way or if you, perhaps, threw it at the baron to buy yourself some time. That look in your eyes is wickedly clever when it meets his again. You nod to him once and slip around him to take off running again.
"Wait, I'm-" Ghost stops, and sighs watching you slide around another corner. "The fuck am I supposed to do with this?" He grumbles to himself, tossing your shoe to his other hand as he walks. He'll pass it off to his escort once he meets up with him again. He's pretty sure he went the same way you did.
The escort looks rather harried when he spots him in front of the reception chamber's doors. Big fancy things that have guards waiting to open them on either side. His escort enters to tell the King and Queen that the newest guard candidate has arrived. Ghost tries not to eavesdrop.
"I haven't needed an escort since I was a little girl I'm-"
"A flight risk," The Queen says firmly
"I'd hardly call running from a daft old man a flight risk," The King grumbles. Ghost chuckles a little to himself. His escort slips back out of the throne room to tell him they're not quite ready for him. Which seems strange considering how much time they've had to prepare.
A maid exits one of the nearby rooms with a pair of slippers and something clicks in Ghost's head. Despite his escort's best attempts at stopping him, Ghost enters the throne room with the maid, and watches your sweet face fall as silence covers the royal family. The maid too, it seems, doesn't know what to do.
"Sir Simon Riley," Ghost announces himself, "I was called about being her highness's personal guard."
"It seems you've already run into each other," The Queen's lips purse, eyes on the heeled shoe in Ghost's hands. He offers the offending shoe to the maid, and takes the slippers.
"This is really-" You whisper to him, Ghost hums, slips the silk slipper onto your foot. You swallow, try again, "I'm sorry to have troubled you, I can't imagine how you must think of me."
"Briefly," He tells her. You're still standing at the bottom of the steps to the throne; apparently having had time only to argue with your parents, not take your seat, in the time between bumping into him and getting here.
"Sir Riley," you start.
"Ghost," he corrects you, "if I'm going to be your guard, I'd like you to call me Ghost."
"Ghost," you start again, not even a hint of annoyance in your voice. Actually, you sound a little embarrassed. It's cute. He likes how easily you give in to him. "I'm sure you'd find this position terribly boring, and a waste of your many talents."
Ghost drops to one knee, and pats his thigh, you quickly raise your foot to settle on him.
"I mean, I'm really not the flight risk my mother thinks I am, and I hardly think you want to accompany me on diplomatic excursions-" he holds your ankle to slip the new house shoe on "-or trips into town. Wouldn't you rather be off, I don't know, fighting marauders and dragons?"
"What do you think knights do, princess?" He smiles, setting your foot on the floor and prompting you for the other one. "It's my privilege to serve you, one I'm enjoying so far."
You feel heat brust over your cheeks, finally taking in the man in front of you. This man is a trained combatant and yet here he is helping you put your shoes on. Christ, you'd literally run into him, and now he was. Why was he treating you so nicely, he should be laughing at the idea of serving you.
"No," He murmurs back, "You can't imagine what I think of you." He stands as you settle your foot back on the ground, and takes your hand, bowing his head to kiss the back of it. "But, rest assured those thoughts are good, my lady."
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baekhvuns · 2 years
Text
bodyguard.
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synopsis : in which his task is to be your bodyguard, his mob-boss’s daughter. where he not only guards you but also guards your body.
pairing : seonghwa x reader
themes : romcom, angst & smut.
word count : 37.8K.
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to say that your father trusted you was a correct statement to some extent, but what he didn’t trust was the environment you were brought up in.
raising two kids despite being a mafia syndicate and hiding his very mafia-like tendencies wasn’t always easy, considering that both his kids would run around during meetings that not a single soul was to hear.
being raised in a secluded home- mansion per-say that was directly out of a architectural digest magazine, the one your father built from his own hands. residing in it with a happy family with his lovely wife, you, and your younger brother.
he had given you and your brother the bestest facilities growing up, from sending you two to prestigious schools despite having no idea what they actually were to giving you two toys that were only ever made twice in the world.  
but now that you, his eldest has grown up. he can’t help but be vary of the environment you were in, it’s not that he didn’t trust you. he didn’t trust a single soul outside his house.
he broke his pact and told you what he did for living the day you turned eighteen, he expected a completely different reaction to the one you gave him. which went along the lines of, “oh, okay.”
so now that you were of age and so were the heirs to other’s mafia groups, he was hesitant to send you anywhere without proper security. seeing how excessively violent his field of work can get, having tiny, minuscule disagreements that could have the worst possible results.
and how you were to take over your father’s position one day, he couldn’t ever risk you or his family getting hurt. it’ll be the one thing that’ll kill him if one day someone gets their hands on his much-protected family.  
So, when he makes a decision, looking at the fine, young, tall man dressed in the finest of suits payed by your father. black hair slicked back, a tie with a pin of your dad’s group the crown.
a smile on his wrinkly face he lifts his forefinger up and motions for the man to come closer, who bows his head and then walks stiffly towards you father who sat on his office chair.
“i hope you’ll be the perfect man for this job,” his raspy voice says, eyes falling over the man, who he thinks is quite handsome, and will cause him some trouble in the future.
“yes, sir.” he hears and smiles, “i will not give you a moment of disgrace, if i do, please fire me.”
a laugh bubbles out your dad’s mouth as he shakes his head, leaning forward on the table with a stance that terrified the man standing in front with his arms crossed behind his back.
“and if you do mr park.” your father enunciates, “i won’t. spare you.”
with a quick swallow the younger man nods and your father leans back with a smile, hands resting on each armrest he lifts a hand to tell him that.
“my daughter will be off soon, she’ll come here straight.” he mumbles and the man nods, “i will give you some rules to follow but i believe this is basic knowledge since you have been my guard, am i right park?”
“yes, sir.”
you father reaches for his glasses, placing them over his nose bridge yet still squinting his eyes as he reads the printed sheet of paper. written on it were rules he and his wife made just last night, sitting on their bed conspiring safety measurements.
“number one,” he starts, “you are to never leave my daughter alone, be it in public settings or more closed off settings.”
“yes, sir.”
you father ticks an eyebrow up and continues with a nod and a quick scan of the man, “two. you are to accompany my only daughter and ensure her utmost safety. her life comes first, understood park?”
“yes, sir.”
your father raises his eyes to meet the boy’s, “i assume you have more than just ‘yes, sir’s’ in your vocabulary?”
“i do, sir.”
he smirks, likes how the man keeps it short and simple. “moving on,” he exhales, “as she will be taking over my position in the coming future, you shall always be her right-hand man in any case scenario.”
“four,” he sits up straight, “do not leave my daughter alone in case of emergencies, she is your responsibility at all times.”
“i won’t disappoint you, sir.”
with a nod he continues, clearing his throat as he reads the next one. “fifth, you are to not make any relation with my daughter.”
your father looks ahead, eyes forming into slits. “do not touch my daughter or hurt her, if i get a hunch, i’ll cut your hands off.”
a shaky nod leaves the man. “do not make any sorts of relationship with her, be it courtship or any sort of sexual relationship.”
“am i making myself clear?”
“y-yes, sir.” he responds, “i’m not to make any mistakes that can sadden you, i will pay good attention on that.”
“good,” he smiles, “you can however be friends…to a limit.”
“do n-“
“dad!”
your father’s grim turns into a big smile, face brightening when he hears your call for him. bursting through his office doors with arms wide open and running to him, “oh sweetheart! how was school?”
he asks as you roll your eyes and hug him, “dad you keep forgetting it’s not school anymore, it’s a university!”
when he pulls back, he pats your forearm, “forgive this old man, i’m a little forgetful at times.”
you raise an eyebrow, “forgetful? not when you remember to take a daily shot of whi-“
“okay, okay!” you smile, your dad huffing before he looks ahead and you follow his line of vision.
there stood a man who suddenly stood straighter when your eyes landed on him, you don’t realize your father holding your hand because you’re so busy staring at the man in front of you.
clad in those black tuxes, a gun holster you know is attached to his broader chest. you can’t help but look at the way the tux cinches his waist, your tongue runs across your right cheek as you take the man’s appearance in.
“y/n,”
“yes, dad.” you reply, eyes on the man who never spared you a glance.
“meet your new bodyguard,” you raise an eyebrow. “park seonghwa.”
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“i’m park seonghwa, your new bodyguard from now on.” you watch the man bow, “i’m to be by your side whenever you go out at all times, it’s nice to meet you ma’am.”
you bite back a smile at the use of ma’am that’s never been used to address you, and instead you lean back on your bed a little. watching the man’s his upper body for a few seconds and which then stood straight, feet apart and hands crossed behind his back.
“hi, seonghwa.” you say, and he nods, “you have to be with me everywhere?”
“yes, ma’am.”
“call me y/n.”
“yes ma’am.”
with a shake of your head you continue, “do you have to be there at my university?”
“yes, ma’am.”
“when i go to malls, clubs or those events?”
“yes, yes and yes.”
you smile at his response and then cross your legs over the other, being amused at the way he stares at your face and not look down when you crossed your legs. gentleman you thought.
“even…” you lean forward a little, “to the bathroom?”
he pauses for a little and then clears his throat, “public places, ma’am.”
“what about public bathrooms?” you blink twice and his lips form into a line.
“i’m afraid that’s a place i’m not allowed in,” he mumbles, so formal that it hurt you to admit you liked it. “to satisfy your privacy that is.”
with a smile you reach out to grab the thin file your father had given to you, “i assume this is your file, right?”
“yes, ma’am.”
you flip through the papers to see a passport size photo of seonghwa, staring at it a tad bit longer because you finally get to see his eyes that aren’t hidden by the dark sunglasses he wore. they’re sharp, feline-like, scary but so warm that it tingled your fancy.
“you’re a really high-profile man seonghwa, what are you going to do trailing behind me?” you ask as your eyes graze the achievements of the man and no wonder, he’s in your dad’s personal security squad, his credentials are simply spectacular.
from the way he can use almost any artillery given, dismantle and rearrange them to being an assassin for a long running italian mafia before, that one definitely piqued your interest.
“i serve your family ma’am, your father specifically.” he says, looking at you going through his profile. “whatever he says are my orders, ma’am.”
“stop calling me that,”
“yes, ma’am.”
you sigh and then look at him, then pat the spot on the bed you sat on. “if you’re going to be my bodyguard, we should get to know each other!”
“i’m sorry ma’am, i’m not here to make any sort of relationship with you.” he says, sternly. “i’m prohibited to do so.��
“do you always use those fancy, formal words?”
“yes, ma’am.”
“how would you like for me to address you?” you ask, tilting your head to the side a little. “i can’t call you bodyguard everywhere, people can get suspicious.”
“park seonghwa.” he nods after saying that.
you lean an elbow on your leg, tapping your chin as if thinking what to call him when you already know. “what about hwa?”
“seonghwa.”
“what about seong?”
“park seonghwa, ma’am.” he emphasizes, and you grin, your eye smile on display.
“okay, hwa!”
you know he inhales at his defeat, but it only makes you smile more, “so since i know a bit about you, you should know something about me! go on, ask me questions.”
“i have no questions ma’am,” he responds, and you frown.
“not even one?”
he shakes his head, “i already know the most i’ve to know about you, your allergies for emergencies and your daily schedule.”
you nod, “you know about my family?”
he smiles just a bit, “i work for them, of course i do.” he says, briefly glancing at his watch. “i believe your younger brother will be off school now, would you like to go pick him up?”
“ew no,” you scrunch your nose, “why would i go pick up that idiot.”
“as you wish,” he nods and then takes a step back, “if you need anything, please call for me. i’ll be down the hallwa-“
“i don’t have your number,” you grin, reaching for your phone and handing it out to him. “go on, don’t be shy now.”
“i’m not allowed to use your phone ma’am,” you throw your head back and groan, standing on your feet and then walking towards him, just enough till you’re standing right in front.
your finger lifts up to poke his hard chest that you know he works out for, “stop calling me ma’am, we are almost the same age.” you see the slight shift in his posture, “i have a name and its y/n. second, you are my bodyguard. you can use my phone, third you’re about to step on my cat’s tail.”
the third one catches him so off-guard that he takes a quick jump to the side, both your eyes falling to the floor where a cute siamese floofball sat, adorably innocent wide eyes and head tilted with its tail curled in a coil.
“you said you know everyone in my family,” you kneel down, reaching your hand out for your cat who complies and places it’s face on the palm of your hand. “but you forgot my cat, meet dumbles.”
you see the way seonghwa’s head does a quick snap tilt, “…dumbles?” he asks, momentarily leaving the sternness out of him and kneeling down beside you to stare at your round cat.
“you haven’t watched harry potter?” you ask, petting your cat’s head as he purrs and closes his eyes.
“i-i have ma’am,” he quickly adds, his nerd self-having a field day in his mind. “i just don’t know how that relates?”
“dumbles, short for dumbledore.” you hear him sigh at the name and it makes you snort, reaching to hold your cat like a baby you nudge him to seonghwa. “he’s more like my bodyguard really.”
and it’s the first time you’ve seen a full smile grace his plump lips when he reaches to pet dumbles, “i think i’m going to have to compete for this job?”
with a purr of your cat and a laugh that bubbles out of you, it’s then when you suddenly lean closer to his face. eyes squinty and he looks up, despite his glasses covering his eyes you can clearly make out that he’s blinking repeatedly.
“you’re cute.”
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“ma’am, we’ll be late for your first class.”
you bring the blanket to your face, “ma’am, it’s already 11:30, your class starts in an hour.”
“seonghwa, are you my mother or my bodyguard?” you groan, peeking a little from your blanket with droopy and squinty eyes.
“your bodyguard ma’am,” you hear him say, then hearing his footsteps go the side of your room and push the curtains away to reveal the sun. “my duty is for you to be at your university right now.”
he hears a whine come from behind him and he looks over his shoulder to see you twisted in some random position as you stretched, taking the entire blanket with you. he hears you yawn his name in a singing voice and all he does is stand at the foot of your bed; hands folded behind him.
you lift your head up on your elbow, eyeing seonghwa’s ever so classic and sophisticated tux with a smile. “gooood morning, seong!”
“good morning, ma’am, please get ready.” he taps his wristwatch, “breakfast is ready downstairs.”
“how are you doing seong?” you ask, completely avoiding whatever he said with a smile.
“very well ma’am,” he says, tapping his watch once again. “it’s time for you to be downstairs ma’am.”
your lips form into a small pout and you shift on the bed, until you’re sitting crisscross in front of him. “you know my mom would love you,” he says nothing, “you’d be someone who’d make me go everywhere on time.”
“that is my job ma’am.”
“good,” you nod, then extending your hand out to him. “could you please help me get out of bed?”
he says nothing but reaches his larger hand to grab yours, his slightly calloused hands holding your softer ones before he juts you up with one hand. so quick and strong that you almost land on seonghwa instead, “thank you, hwa.”
“no worries, ma’am.” he straightens himself up, taking a few steps back and not looking anywhere but your face. “i’ll be downstairs by the bentley.”
you would’ve never thought that you would ever find a man so classy, so hot and yet so infuriating at times. specifically, when he calls you ma’am or quietly slides you a sheet of your schedule of your classes to remind you of the time again at the breakfast table, making your sibling laugh.
so, when you walked out decked in your branded clothes, that one, you barely wore. two, chanel’s tweed jacket keeps poking you in your side and three to match you little- tall bodyguard.
it’s the way you look like his counterpart if not for the gold chanel pin you have on top of your chest, a wide smile on your face that can only be described as sheepish and a jump to your steps.
the drive to your uni is filled with nothing but silence, despite the looks you throw at him from the rear that you know he manages to see once in a while. or the way he shakes his head when he sees you poke your tongue out at him the middle of a red light.
“are you going inside too?” you ask once you get out of the car, flattening your skirt and then clutching your bag tighter.
“yes ma’am.” he merely nods after instead motioning for you to walk first so he walks behind.
and you do as told, walking in front full well knowing a tall, intimidatingly attractive man is walking behind you. seeing the stares, you’re getting it’s only making you prove a point that he is in fact, the finest man you’ve laid your eyes on.
your heels and his shoes match in pace, click clacking against the university marble floor. he walks in silence, occasionally using an arm to swat anyone in your way which makes him brush your arm quite often and leads him to apologize.
when you’re about to enter the classroom, he abruptly comes to a stop in front of you.
“what’s going on, seong?”
“i’ve to check the class for your safety, ma’am.” he says, and your laugh gets drowned by the chatter of students when he opens the door to peek inside. he then steps aside, opening the door for you fully and gesturing for you to walk in. “after you.”
“thank you,” you quickly mumble, suddenly being aware of the stares you’re getting as you hurry to walk to your seat.
once you’re settled down, the lingering figure of seonghwa stood by you. you glance at him and then the class who obviously looked at him, some in awe, some in confusion and the rest with their jaws dropped.
“you don’t have to come in my class,” you whisper, “there’s nothing to worry here.”
he bends at his waist, “i can’t do that ma’am, there’s quite a lot of threat in this class.” he says, eyeing the room. “your dad’s seventh enemy’s nephew sits thirteen seats behind you, anything could happen.”
with a discreet glance over your shoulder and the obvious sign of danger that emitted 13 seats away from you. eyebrow slit and eyes ready to throw daggers you slowly turn to seonghwa, “okay…” you shift to the right, “sit by me then.”
“i can’t do that ma’am.”
you raise an eyebrow, ears twitching at the door to the classroom opening and knowing your teacher walked in. and if he saw a man dressed in a black suit, an earpiece, tall standing by you. you’d surely get in trouble.
you grab onto his sleeve, “shut up, and sit down.”
“m-“
“it’s an order, mr park.”
you knew that hit the mark when you visibly see him stiffen. nodding his head and then unbuttoning his tux to have a seat beside you, your eyes on the teacher and him leaning back to take a seat.
it’s only then when one of your seatmates, kyle decides to open his mouth and ask you a question that has seonghwa raising his eyebrows in disappointment.
“yo, y/n,” you look to your right, “can i borrow a pen?”
“oh!” you mumble, “ye-“
“keep your hands to yourself mister,” you hear seonghwa’s voice come from behind you sternly say, the sudden warmth radiating from him lingering on your back. you can’t see him, but you know the voice has kyle’s eyes widening. “bring your own pen kid, this is university not elementary.”
“s-sorry sir,” you hear his stutter, and it makes you look at seonghwa with a frown, who in return sighs and takes a pen out of his tux pocket.
“bring your own next time,” you hear him mumble before he sits back on the chair, back leaned and legs crossed neatly.
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“would you like to get something to eat?” you hear him ask from the driver’s seat, eyes meeting yours through the rear mirror.
“did you really have to give him your pen?” you ask instead, leaning closer to place your chin on the driver’s seat.
“i can’t let anyone else have you-“ you raise an eyebrow when he stops the car at the right moment. “-r property.”
“so, you’d just give anyone your pen?” you say, hearing him tap his fingers along the steering wheel.
he nods curtly. “i believe your class tomorrow is at eight in the morning-“
you groan, “why do you always talk about school?” sporting a pout you look in the rear view, knowing that under his dark sunglasses he is staring at you.
“i’ll set the alarm,“ he replies and your shoulders slump lower. “ma’am.”
with a sigh, you lean back on the seat. pouting in frustration as the sound of your phone momentarily distracts you, you flip it to face you and scroll through the messages.
kai, 4:56pm
y/n
party tonight?
ryan’s place
y/n, 4:57pm
????
why his place
ew
what time
kai, 4:59pm
uhhh
starts at 11
pick you up @ 12?
you snap your head up, “hey hwa, what time was my class tomorrow?”
“eight in the morning, ma’am.”
you curse under your breath, “shit, my hangover would kill me..” you bite down on your lip. looking at seonghwa through your lashes before looking down at the screen.
y/n, 5:01pm
ill drivo there
*drive
i’ll just meet u there
kai, 5:03pm
don’t be late dummy
you chuck your phone to the side when seonghwa calls for you, “y-yeah?”
“i won’t give my pens,” he pulls into your estate. “if that’s not what you’re comfortable with ma’am.”
“no, no,” you look out, mind completely not thinking about the party you’ve got to go too. plus, how will you go? with the tight security your dad has up on each and every wall of this house, you’re done for good. “you do, what you want! yeah!”
because if seonghwa’s supposed to be with you the entire day, how will you secretly- grab your stuff and get ready? how will you even make it past the entrance? surely you can’t use the front doors? gosh.
“ma’am, we are here.”
with that you grab your stuff in a hurry, opening the door you look at him one last time. “thanks for today seonghwa, but i have a really big exam tomorrow-“ you nod repeatedly. “and, uh, i won’t be out of my room till late! y-you can get an early lay off today! bye!”
“yes ma’am..”
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you can’t do this.
you can’t go to the party with a hundred guards and doberman’s surrounding your place.
and you absolutely cannot go with seonghwa being just outside your door, “ma’am, shall i ask for your dinner to be prepared?”
you sit down on your bed, looking at the floor length mirror in front. there’s no way, absolutely no way you can escape this house in a dress that reaches till your thighs and in heels longer than your fingers.
before you can grab your phone, you hear another knock at your door. “ma’am?”
y/n, 11:47pm
kai
im not coming
kai, 11:49pm
why y/n
pls
you can’t leave me alone
with their shitshow
idk anyone
“give me a second seonghwa!”
y/n, 11:55pm
you know the entire school
doofus
kai, 11:55pm
so
pls
u can’t see me
but im on my knees
y/n, 12:00pm
fine
u owe me
kai, 12:01pm
2$
take it or leave it
“ma’am?”
you snap your head up to look at the door, closing your eyes and then opening them with a shake of your head. “i’m, i’ll just be going straight to sleep seonghwa!” you yell, wanting him to leave so you can plan your own. “thank you for today!”
“have a goodnight, ma’am.”
oh, you’re about too, you grin. hearing the clacks of seonghwa’s shoes fade with each step, you rise slowly. grabbing your leather jacket, heels in hand because ain’t no way you’re jumping out your window in them.
you slowly go and turn off your lights, a perfect way to tell that you’re asleep. with a small smile, you push open the window that leads outside just by the garages. as you do so, you see the front gates open. presumably seonghwa leaving the premises, it makes you smile knowing no one will catch you.
with an inhale, cold air flushes inside making you shiver with excitement and the eagerness to get a drink.
you first, look around, knowing the lights at this time are dimmed for privacy sakes. you’ll find it easier to escape, so you carefully extend your hand out—  (after sneaking a peek at your sleeping cat) the one that held your heels and slowly, one by one, throw them to the ground.
the soft sound of your heels hitting the grass is quiet, but you know it can pick the ears of the doberman’s your father loves, with a whine you throw your leg over the ledge. and then do the same with the other, sitting on the ledge fully with your balance perfect.
you look in the room once, knowing you’ve got a fake you covered in a blanket there, knowing your doors locked and knowing seonghwa’s gone home.
with that you jump.
your first mistake was to land on your shoes, making you twist your ankle, and a shriek leaves you but that’s quickly suppressed with the hand you put on your mouth.  
biting back the pain as your face scrunches up for a scream that your hand hides, you slowly bend down to grab your heels. slowly placing pressure on your feet turn by turn despite a cry you’re desperately wanting to let out.
your eyes switch into night mode, as if they were cameras and begun to step outside the grassy area under your balcony towards the long trees aligning the main road you father had gotten built that connects to the long entrance gates to the french door entrance to your house’s lobby.
your one hand holds your heels, the same hand holding your jacket and the other clothing onto your phone that keeps ringing and you know it’s gonna wake the dogs up and you will start crying. so, the only option was to cut it or pick up.
you picked up.
“y/n? bro where you at?” you roll your eyes at kai’s shaky voice. “i’m alone, this is not fun.”
“stop being like this,” you grit, clutching your phone while tip toeing across the road while hiding behind the long trees. “you’re already dancing i know!” you whisper-yell and hear his snort.
“hurry up you weenie!” he yells, and you whisper a few curse words. “or your new bodyguard might come and get you.”
that makes you stand straight, eyes narrowing as if you’re staring kai down.
“how do you know that?” you ask, voice lowered.
“everyone at our uni knows it,” he laughs, “the tall guy who walked in fully dressed in a tux? can’t be the business majors, can it?”
“oh, shut it,” you whisper, growing closer to the gates while looking back and forth for anyone. “good thing my guards gone home, nothings stopping me from that drink tonight!”
“unless your dogs-“
“i will see you there!” you cut him off, leaning against the tree, hiding as if you were in an action movie you turn your head to the right.
you’re ten steps away from the iron gates, one step to your victory but that one step is cut in half when you see the gatekeeper sitting with eyes wide open. and you know, you know it’s the first time he does so anyways because every other time he’s dozing off.
with a pained smile you slide closer to the tree, successfully in a second having your back against the high cement walls with no suspicion.
your eyes land on the gate in a gate (a small one that mimics a prison, ironic) that’s latched open, you grin. eyes flickering between the gatekeeper and the gate, and just as the man snaps his head down. you’re suddenly shapeshifting into a snake and running out the door with no noise.
once you run out, you run  as if your life depended on it. which it did, if your father found out about your early morning endeavors, you’re grounded for good.
and you can’t believe how he still can ground you in your mid-twenties, with a shake of your head you keep running and looking back from time to time before you find yourself in an alley.
your back leaned against the brick as you breathed heavily, chest going up and down as you swallowed the dryness. running a hand through your hair and wiping anything excess on your face before you lean down, throwing your heels before you slip your feet in them.
holding your phone out and texting kai that you’d be there in a few, without your car as you clasped on the ankle strap of your jimmy choo’s you hear a groan coming from your right.
you freeze midway of clasping the strap together, swallowing before comically looking to your right where the dark alley had begun to look even darker. you inhale a nervous breath before quickly slipping on your other heel, not wanting to spend a second here any longer as the groans become louder, and your eyes become wider.
and then you hear a full sentence, you know you’re in trouble. but that doesn’t scare you, what scares you is your father finding about this trouble.
“raise a hand and you won’t see the day of tomorrow.”
“…and it’s my time to leave,” you whisper, holding your phone tighter as you stood up. eyes sneakily looking at the alley as you slowly move towards the road with the aching ankle of yours.
but as you take another step, you hear the loud cry of someone that makes you freeze. but what solidified your death was when your phone rang in the midst of the after silence of the cry.
“who’s there?”
you freeze for what feels like hours and then snap to reality, hurriedly shutting your phone off and cursing kai’s name. you look back at the alley, swallowing with a pained expression before slowly beginning to creep away.
but it’s then when you hear a surge of footsteps filling your ears, your eyes widening, and you grip onto your dress before making a run.
“hey! get back here!”
“catch her!”
so, you run, you run as if your dogs are chasing you, as if your mother has found out what you’re doing late out at night dressed to get sick. or how your father would immediately blow up on you and the thought of getting into trouble, but that was on the last of your mind.
you’re running down the street, injured at the ankle, in your jimmy choo’s while a group of men run after you. you know they are holding weapons because you looked over your shoulder and it made you run even faster.
the cold wind slaps your face, makes your eyes watery and pushes your hair back as the road becomes downhill, your mouth begins to spew out curse words and screams that you hope make the men run away because you know only a god can save you from this.
“h-hey!” you scream, thinking you’d have a wise conversation with the group of guys who only seem to roar even louder and it’s at this point that your ankle begins to burn, and your eyes begin to tear up from the cold wind. “you don’t know who i am!”
“we don’t care!”
you cry out, “my father runs the mafia!”
“if your dad runs the mafia, my dad is tom cruise!” you hear one of them yell and you quicken your speed.
you frown as you run, “what the fuck!?”
“get her!”
the street gets darker and darker but with the semi-working streetlights, you’re able to make out stores and houses around you. neon signs of sketchy restaurants where they sell alcohol for a dollar (you obviously knew, because you tried), or small departmental stores lining the streets.
you’re running so fast, that a crowd of people don’t stop you. you push past them in an attempt to lose the men, but they seem to have found you no matter what, it’s then when you see a man walk out a local 7/11.
your first instinct is to wave, but when the man turns around. eyes on the ground, hand holding a white bag and not a care in the world.
you think you’re about to lose him, until it takes everything in you to scream. “hey!” loud enough for the man to turn around and when he does. you wish you never screamed; you wish you never sneaked out of your room.
because the last thing you expect on a friday night is to be caught by your bodyguard.
“i’m, i’ll just be going straight to sleep seonghwa!”
“have a goodnight, ma’am.”
“god no,” you whisper, half happy that you found him, and half scared shitless. “shit.”
as you’re nearing him, your body automatically begins to slow down. and once you do, you’re standing right in front of him. breathing heavily and swallowing as your throat dried.
“t-this is not how it looks like-“ you look back, seeing the men beginning to slow down as they approach you and him. “-i promise!”
“what’s going on?” he speaks and for the first time you hear him without his uptight vocabulary that doesn’t consist of ma’am’s or sir’s.
“i thought you were asleep?” he raises an eyebrow, and you look at him up and down, clad in a black hoodie with matching sweats. you think you like him better this way.
“i…i thought i was too,” you chuckle, humourlessly and awkwardly.
“hey!”
you two turn around at the loud yell and you take a step back, “i-it’s a long story-“ you swallow, coming to stand closer to him as seonghwa take a step forward. “-i’ll explain the rest later!”
seonghwa gives you a blank stare, raising an eyebrow and you just know he’s shooting you in his mind. “are you hurt?”
you blink, “huh?”
he looks back at the men, “are you hurt, ma’am?” and then looks at your blinking eyes.
you shake your head slowly, “no,” he then hands you the white bag he held prior, and you look at him with a frown. “…..are you doing what i’m thinking you’re about to do?”
you take the bag from, and he nods. “i’m doing exactly what you’re thinking.”
you grip the bag tighter, pulling your lips into a determined grin and raising your hands into fists to urge him on. “….we’re running right?”
he looks over his shoulder before snorting, “i’m going to go do my job.” he then points at you. “stay here.”
“you’re not on-“
“oi you two!” you snap your eyes at the men in front, hand on their waists and bored expressions on their faces. “if you’re done talking, get her here, we’ve got some business to finish!”
you blink, feeling your heartbeat take a sudden increase as you hold the bag tighter. “don’t worry about it ma’am, i can handle this.” with that he begins to walk towards them, and you panic when your eyes flash at the guns and knives they held.
as quick as your mouth opened to yell, it zipped even quicker when seonghwa’s back comes to blind you from those in front. you hear groans and curses being thrown at seonghwa who stares at them blankly, inhaling before lifting his hand up. motioning them to come forward with two of his fingers.
and then it felt like a blur when seonghwa raised his fist and smashed it in the man’s jaw, your mouth drops at the sight. instinctively holding your own jaw as if you felt the pain, eyes widening as you stare at the scene in front of you.
one vs at-least seven.
with the way seonghwa’s elbow jabs in their ribs, strong punches to their jaws and kicks to their stomach your mouth is left hung open. it felt as if you were watching a live action movie, maybe even a boxing match.
your eyes follow seonghwa’s every move, the way his eyes turn into slits. hair moving with every punch he makes, the groans from his mouth and the movement of his muscle. you can’t help but gawk at him.
from the way he rolled his hoodie up to his elbow, showcasing the ink he’s got that stops just before it goes above his elbow. swirls of art that you’re so entranced by that you totally blind side the fact that seonghwa’s yelling for you.
“ma’am!”
you quickly snap out of your thoughts and look for where you’re hearing his voice, once you do your eyes widen. “hey!” you yell, seeing seonghwa in a rear chokehold. two of the men holding him down while one of them begins to walk towards you.
you take a step back, gripping the bag to your chest with wide eyes while seonghwa yells at you from the back. “y-your shoes!”
you frown, holding the bag tighter as you yell back. “what shoes?! where!”
“your shoes! use them!”
“to hit him?!”
“yes!”
you give him a look, “my jimmy choo’s!?”
he nods and you stare at him with an unreadable face before he yells for you again, “you can buy more!”
you swallow, looking down at your shoes that you know you can’t buy more. but even so, you put the bag away, take your shoes off. hold the heel side up, raising both your hands up before yelling and running towards the herd.
barefoot, in a leather jacket and fighting some goons with heels was something straight out of a romcom. on a friday night, you expect yourself to be with your friends and not smacking heels into people’s chests.
“i’m so sorry, this is gonna hurt-“ you yank the heel down and hear a loud groan and it has you shivering. “i told you this will hurt!”
for a few minutes you keep doing what seonghwa has told you, heel after heel you’ve left them with wounds that ooze fresh blood and just the sight of it makes you grim.
you think you two are set to go but then the men begin to gather around you two in a circle, your back finds itself attached to seonghwa’s.
broken heels in hands, the ribbon design on them falling somewhere along with way whole the structure is completely damaged.
“now…” you inhale, swallowing as you stare at their angry faces. “what do we do now?”
“do you know how to fight?”
you pause, biting your lower lip in frustration.  “no, i..never learned.”
he says nothing but stands straighter, “i’m going to pick you up,” your head snaps to him.
“what?” you whisper, eyeing the man standing in front of you. who, with his injuries still manages to stand.
“by the waist,” he continues, eyeing the others on his side. “use your feet to kick them while i spin you.”
“this is insane,” he hears you say and smiles a bit before replying, “this is what we do for living.”
“can’t we just run?” you ask, looking around the road to see ample amount of space to run.
“it’s not easy,” he replies, “if this gets to your father..that is.”
you turn around on instinct, “right.” and then glare at the men. “do it then, i’m sure we’ve both got places to be.”
he spares no second and turns you around, hooking his arms under your armpits before hoisting you up. “kick!” he yells, and you do as he says, eyes shut tight and legs kicking while he spins you around.
you’re so sure you hear a faded snort coming from seonghwa while you’re hitting arms and chests and faces that when he puts you down, he makes sure your jacket is still on and that your balance remains as you collapse in his arms.
when your eyes land on the ground, a sigh leaves your lips at the sight. hearing groans and curses being spewed while a few of them tried to drag themselves away, your eyes then snap to your shoes only to see them ruined.
your jaw drops and your first instinct is to go and grab them, but instead seonghwa snakes his arm around your waist and swoops you to his towering front. your hands fall flat against his chest, eyes widening at what he was doing that is until you realize he had his foot on a man’s hand.
the hand that was reaching for your ankle, you swallow and look up at seonghwa. “..we’re good, right?”
he looks down and your eyes immediately lock, staring into them directly for the first time and not only did it bring a sudden burst of butterflies in your stomach but made your heart stop for a quick second.
but that only lasts for a moment before he pulls away abruptly, “yes ma’am.” you nod slowly, eyes finding the ground.
you tip toe your way across the groaning bodies to grab into the broken pieces of your heels, and then turning around to see seonghwa waiting for you by the side.
you take a quick look at your surroundings before walking towards him, the cold cement road under your bare feet making you shiver. once you’re in front of him, he nods and quietly gestures you to follow him.
and you do, hugging your jacket around you tighter. you walk behind him, eyes on his taller and built frame. one hand holding the white bag, where you could spot redness on his knuckles while the other was tucked in his pocket.
“..i’m so sorry i got you involved into this,” you begin as your eyes catch a glimpse of the bruises on his knuckles.
“i thought you were asleep, ma’am.”
you sigh, closing your eyes before nodding. “i-i had to go to this party..” you mumble, “so i snuck out.”
“from the front gates?” he asks, tone normal and not accusatory of any sorts. “and past the dogs?”
you shake your head, “from the window actually…and past the dogs.”
he nods, impressed before his eyes find themselves staring at the ground. instinctively glancing at your feet and then it occurs to him, “you’re hurt, ma’am.” he whispers, eyeing the slight redness at your ankle and the cuts and dirt you’ve got wrapped around them.
you stare at your feet as you keep walking, “they don’t hurt actually,” you smile. “feels nice to walk bare feet on the cold ground.”
“we should sit down,” he urges, a slight panic in his tone. “you’re limping ma’am.”
you turn to look at him, eyes falling over the hair that hovers over his forehead. “stop calling me that.” you say, lowly as you keep your eyes fixated on him. “y/n, call me that at least when we’re alone.”
he says nothing but presses his lips in a line before looking ahead and pointing straight, “there’s a bench right there, we should at least get you seated.”
you sigh before nodding, quickly checking your phone for time and the messages from kai before putting it back into your pocket and following him.
you sit at a normal distance away from him, or more like he did. once you’re sat, your surroundings are a quiet bliss, the cold night wind and the makeshift roof of leaves above your head, it felt calming.
the night was one full of stars, you look down at your feet. watching the shadows being created by the streetlight that shines on you but especially on seonghwa. when you turn your face to look at him, half of his face is illuminated by the light while the other casts a darker shadow.
as the silence begins to heavy in, you decide to break it with a request you hope he agrees too. “please don’t tell my dad about this seonghwa,” your bite down on your lower lip. “he won’t let me out again.”
“why would he do that ma’am?” he responds, and you swallow. “i believe he should know, and it is my duty to document everything to him so-“
“can you stop with the unnecessary fancy words!” you cry out and turn to him. “you are not going to tell my father about any of this.”
“but m-“
you raise an eyebrow, “you’re not.”
“but why not?” he frowns, fiddling with the bag in his hand.
“because…” you start, eyes looking left and right. “because…you’re my friend, yeah!”
he gives you a quick stare, “but, ma’am i’m not all-“
you cut him off by scooting closer and placing an arm on his shoulder, with a eyebrow raise. “you are now my best friend.” you nod, “and as childish as this sounds, best friends don’t tell each other’s secrets to anyone right?”
he pauses to blink twice before nodding slowly and you smile, “good!” you pat his shoulder.
“so, we should consider this a deal-“ you bring your hand out for him to shake and he looks at you then at your hand accessorized in rings. “-right?”
he sighs audibly and you grin, knowing he’s given up. “thank you so much seonghwa!” with a quick assuring pat and a smile you pull back into silence that is until he speaks.
“y..you don’t have that party to go to?” he mumbles, eyes on the bag he held between his legs. you, pull your legs up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them.
“it’s a little too late now,” you know your phone’s being ambushed by messages form kai mainly him begging, but you rather— can’t help but like this a little more.
he says nothing again and instead fiddles through his bag; your eyes follow his movements until they pause on what you think is ice cream.
he looks over at you and you lock eyes, “you must be hungry,” you tilt your head just a little for your hair to move with it. “..ice cream?”
he holds out a squished pack of ice cream which makes you raise an eyebrow, “it’s a little…deformed?” he squeaks, and you hide a smile before reaching out to take it from his hands.
“thank you seonghwa.” you mumble, and he smiles a little, then gives a small nod and it’s when you notice his hair falling over his eyes.
“your welcome, ma-“
“y/n.”
he looks at you and you mirror him, in fact, you change your position to face him. legs in a criss cross with your jacket being a makeshift blanket on them so that you don’t flash anything, anytime soon.
“my names y/n,” you repeat, taking the wrapper off the ice cream. “i’ve told this multiple times, and i’ll say it again. call me y/n when we’re both alone.”
he nods, “okay…” he hesitates, staring at you as if you were going to speak. but when you don’t, he finally says it even if it feels as if he’s struggling and you don’t know why. “y/n.”
you break out into a smile, “now that we are on first name basis,” you extend your hand out, as if pointing between him and you. “we should get to know each other better, right? for better…uhh-“
“relationship?”
you snap your fingers, “yes that! i’ll go first,”
he smiles, “of course.”
“hi, i’m y/n.” you begin, voice a tone lower to match the quietness. “and i’m currently in a uni? i go out at night because my father doesn’t let me in the day,” he snorts, and you smile. “i’m also! not as snobby as you think.”
“i’ve never thought of you as snobby ma’am,” he says, licking at the ice cream before continuing. “just…picky?”
you grin, “that i am or maybe i just have fine taste?” a round of chuckle leaves you two. “what about you, tell me about you seonghwa.”
“what do you want to know?”
“well, i just know the professional you-“ you pause to lick the ice cream, “the macho, mr smith style assassin! but what’s under all of that?” you wiggle your eyebrows. “a different story?”
he looks down with a smile as you watch him with a curious gaze, “i’m just a simple man doing a simple job.”
you raise an eyebrow, “simple job?” he nods, and you narrow your eyes. “i’ve never heard a simple man having a job at a mafia house?”
he bites down on his lower lip before shaking his head, “how’d you end up working for my father?” you ask, and he looks at the ice cream.
“your father actually met me when i was at my worst,” he begins, and you tilt your head.
“what?”
he lifts his head up to look right at you, “i escaped italy once…illegally, your father helped me out with it entirely.” you notice the way he smiles at that. “he became someone who gave me a shelter and in return i worked for him.”
“sounds heroic.” you whisper, an impressed smile on your face that it makes him laugh a little. “you escaped, why?”
you hear him inhale audibly and it makes you swallow before looking up at the sky, “you don’t have to tell me, that’s fine, somethings should be ke-“
“someone was out to kill me.”
your eyes widen, “what?!” your jaw hangs, processing everything that he’s saying. “h-how did you get away? i’ve heard once italian’s mark something to kill, they will.”
you scoot closer, “..how did you escape them?”
he looks at your wide curious eyes and before even thinking it through, he says it all. “i killed him.”
he watches your jaw drop at that and for a moment he thinks he’s fucked up, which rightfully so, but when you say something, it makes his eyes widen in surprise. “you killed,” you lean closer to whisper, “an italian mafia guy?”
you then bring your hands up to clap slowly with an impressed face, “how haven’t you gotten a movie made on you? that’s crazy, they should title it ‘mission impossible: italy chronicles!’ you’d give tom cruise a run for his money!”
“are you not surprised?” he asks, slightly confused at your enthusiasm over starring him in a movie and not the fact that he killed someone.
“hm?” you pause and then smile a little.
“are you not surprised or scared that i told you i just killed someone?” he repeats, eyeing your rather calm expression.
“seonghwa,” you inhale, shuffling with the jacket before looking at him. “i’ve grown up in this environment involuntarily…i’m used to the killing’s and everything that happens in a group because i have to be, i-i someday have to run this yeah? even if i don’t want to, i have to get used to it.”
“you don’t seem like you want to do anything with your dad’s job,” he murmurs, and you nod, looking down at the jacket as your hand comes to play with the sleeve. “not interested?”
“nope,” you sigh, “i’ve never associated myself with the type of work my dad does, never learnt how to fight or do anything that ties me to that world.”
you then glance at him, “and i don’t plan to anytime soon, but i know i have to one day whether i like it or not-“ you stand up abruptly and he watches you for a quick second. “maybe one day i’ll stop this mafia, who knows?”
he says nothing but nods, knowing the situation won’t change if he says anything. “thanks for the ice cream though,” you change the topic, holding the ice cream cone as if it were a wine glass.
imitating the great gatsby scene where leonardo holds the glass up with a smirk, “and i hope you keep the promise, best friend.” with a small smile, you gather your belongings before waving him a small bye.
but it’s not even a second later that he stops you, “y/n,” you look back, eyebrow raised slightly. “where are you going at this hour?”
“home.”
“you’re walking?” you nod, “but you’re hurt, i’ll get a tax- shit, taxis don’t work at this hour.” he stands up and you blink.
“i’ll walk you home,”
your hands immediately fly up in the air, “no! no! that’s fine, i can walk, it’s just a small walk back home and you’re probably really tired and hurt so i don-“
“-do you always talk this much?” he cuts you off and you smile sheepishly.
“yes,” you immediately respond, holding your jacket close to your chest. “you don’t?”
“they should keep you in a museum, you know?”
you grin, “they should, people will pay to see me, sounds fun.”
he looks down and lets out a breathy chuckle, “i’ll walk you home, it’s dark o-“
“you’re off job s-“
“ma’am.” you raise your eyebrow slightly, “a bodyguard is never off duty, so please, let me walk you home.”
you glance at him with a small smile, eyes searching his face as if he’d say something else but when he doesn’t, you nod. “okay then mr bodyguard, walk me home safely.”
when he stands up, the two of you begin walking back to your place. you barefoot, his knuckles bleeding, chasing, and fighting down goons all on a friday night. you turn to look at his side profile and feel warmth fill your gut before you look ahead.
your eyes then go to your bare feet before your eyes widen. “what about my jimmy choo’s?” you ask in the quiet street, a chill in the air as streetlights far away shine bright.
“i’m sure you can buy new ones, isn’t that right ma’am?”
“those were vintage..”
“they always have better ones!” he mumbles, giving you a quick glance.
“..they were my mom’s.”
“they what.”
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“so,” you begin, eyeing your dark and scary mansions that had a red-light beam at the very top, on a dome-like roof.  “how do we get back inside?”
you hear seonghwa inhale from beside you and you look at him with a raised eyebrow and hunched shoulders, his jacket wrapped around them tightly as you tried to keep yourself warm.
“do you know the safety system in your house?” he asks, eyes raking the mansion before he steps closer to quietly open the iron gates.
your eyes follow him, “…i think so?” you respond in a mumble. “dads never mentioned it to me explicitly but like i know what he’s up to like, half the time.”
“great,” he turns around, leaning on the gates. “you’re going to help us get in.” he nods, like the ones guys at parties do when they see someone from their element.
you raise an eyebrow, shifting your weight on one foot before speaking. “aren’t you supposed to my bodyguard?”
“and aren’t you supposed to be asleep?” he retorts and watches you pause.
you blink, then nod. “point.” and walk closer to him, squinting at your own house as if it were a mission to cross. eyes narrowing over the trimmed shrubbery with bright flowers that seemed to have blended with the night, adding onto the chilling appearance of your home.
“so according to my dad,” you put your face up against the iron gates, squishing your cheeks on the rails. “there’s a laser security system when you first enter the house- wait but how do you not know this!”
he shakes his head while still looking ahead, “that’s because i don’t stay here, i know the blueprints but i stay there-“ he points at the right of the mansion, and your eyes follow his finger. “at the guard quarters, the security system there is mild.”
“why?"
“because we are the security there.”
you nod with an impressed pout, “huh, no wonder i had never seen you around.”
“i’m your dad’s personal security, i’m usually in his office.” he whispers, leaning a little closer to you. “not around a lot.”
your eyes then land on the area you’ve never stepped a foot in. “is the bodyguard quarters cool?” it’s like a smaller version of your place, yet you spot more class in it with way its architecture looks despite it being rarely visible.
he tilts his head and chuckles a little, “cool? yes, it is.”
you then look at him with a frown, “why do you talk like this?” he pauses. “you sound like a professor more than a bodyguard, are you in cahoots’ with my prof?”
“no,” he answers quickly and hesitantly raises his hand to poke your forehead, your eyes widen, and you look at him who avoids your eyes immediately. “t-the security system, we need to get in before it’s too late.”
you hide a smile and nod before beginning to explain, “when we first enter, there’s a red laser security. once we pass that and go up the stairs, the hallways have small traps all around that can identify the smallest of sounds-“
“-and intruders.” he mumbles before tapping the front gates, “and have you been trained for this?”
“me?” you point at yourself, “absolutely not.”
you hear him sigh audibly, “what will you do when you have to learn all of this? to fight to plan and to be competent enough to take your father’s place?”
“i’ve got you here, so that should be fine.” you hum, and he blinks twice. “right? now let’s go in!”
you open the gates first, cautiously while he follows suit. it’s quiet, eerily quiet. you think everyone’s fallen asleep, so you turn to ask seonghwa what time it was, “it’s two.”
you nod and walk towards the front entrance; body bent a little to keep out of anyone’s hide and to hide in the shadows. while seonghwa follows without doing the unnecessary things you’re doing.
once you’re in front of the gates, you stop and fish into your jacket pocket in an attempt to find your spare keys. “we could just climb your window..”
“there’s no ladder there!” you whisper loudly, immediately clamping a hand on your mouth before quietly inserting the key in the lock and testing it slowly. “also, it’s more fun this way.”
once you hear the quiet and short and satisfying noise of the tall door unlocking, you look over your shoulder and gesture for seonghwa to follow you inside.
“my job was to walk you home ma’am,” he whispers, “i don’t think i should go in-“
but before he even finishes the sentence, you take a hole of his wrists and pull him in locking the door behind you immediately.
“i don’t think this is a good idea ma’am…” you hear him whisper and you look over your shoulder, scanning the foyer.
“why are you so scared? it’s not like my dad will kill you, geez,” you sigh, looking around the big plants that scare you because they look eerily similar to people in your house.
“if he recognizes m-“
your tongue hits the roof of your mouth at that, “he can’t even differentiate between me and my brother in the mornings, so don’t worry-“
before you even get the chance to finish your phrase, there’s a loud knock coming from the stairs right above the chandelier. the sound alone makes you and seonghwa panic and run to hide behind the large plant your mom begged to have.
“you know,” seonghwa inhales, swallowing as he looks around. “your dad can actually kill me.”
you click your tongue, again. “you’re scared for nothing.” and walk ahead but he stays, shaking his head because he knows what the circumstances can be.
when you look back to see him standing there looking at the ground, you sigh and walk back towards him. holding your hand out to him which makes him look at you, you nod towards your hand. “hold it.”
“w-why?” he asks, throat drying as he looks around the place.
you frown, “do you want my dad to find out?” he shakes his head. “so then, hold my hand and i’ll make sure no one finds out.”
you shake your hand at him with a grin that has him narrowing his eyes, but he knows he’s got no other option. because the only person who can save him from your father is you, and if that means you’ll take him under the wing for one day. he doesn’t mind.
so, with that, he hesitantly holds your hand, swallowing as you grip on it tightly before yanking him away.
he follows you down the hallway, holding your hand tighter with every step as his heartbeat begins to skip beats. eyes wandering the quiet rooms that otherwise are bright and loud, now terrify him with each step.  
“ma’am, where’s the laser security?” he asks, and you pause right after, swallowing and pointing ahead.
“there,” you mumble, biting your lower lip as you take in the bright red lasers, bright neon red lines parallel to each other. “if we pass this, we’re good to go.”
he nods and then looks at you, “do you know how to do this?”
you grin, “of course,” as fast as you left his hand, he holds onto it faster. stopping you from going forward immediately.
“what’re you doing?!” he whispers, and you point at the lasers.
“passing the lasers? like how they do in the movies?” you say, tone matter-of-factly and he raises his eyebrow.
he pulls you back to him, your side hitting his towering front by surprise. “this isn’t the movies y/n.” you straighten up at the use of your name. “we can get killed, maybe not you, but i can.”
you look at him, “i don’t pay you enough to get killed.”
he smirks, “your father does.” before you retaliate, he puts a finger up to his lips, shushing you before holding your hand and walking on the other side. “follow me.”
he walks you around the stairs, completely away from the lasers— okay maybe not completely because you two did have to duck down quite a few times. but once that was left behind, you were surprised at his tactics.
impressed at his calm demeanor you follow right behind him, mouth shut and eyes on his back. your eyes then land on the hand he’s holding and smile.
“hey seo-“
in a matter of seconds, you’re pushed to the cold wall behind, you know it’s the wall with the way you hear frames rattle a bit. seonghwa’s larger hand covering your mouth as he leaned in, covering you fully and engulfing you in his warm scent while staring into your wide eyes with his sharper ones.
“don’t talk.” he says lowly, noticing the way your eyes blink. “got it?”
you nod repeatedly, eyes searching his face up close. from the bridge of his nose to his fuller lips and then back to his sharp eyes that look to your right. studying the shape of his eye and the long lashes that touch the area of cheek right under his eye, it makes you swallow just at the sight of him.
you don’t make a noise when he makes you move without ever physically holding you, though it’s difficult and makes you confused you follow him either way. the small tapping of your feet and his shoes make the faintest noise, which makes him afraid that you’ll get caught.
“can you walk a little less loudly?” he whispers in your ear and you, first, take one second to feel the shiver run down your spine and two, feel your heart skip a beat.
you then frown, bringing his hand down from your mouth and wrapping it around your waist. he immediately pulls back with wide eyes, “what’re you doing?” he whispers, and you take his other hand and put it around your waist.
“you want me to walk quietly, the only way i can do that if i walk on my tippy toes-“
“what does that gotta do with holding you!-“
“sssh!” you whisper and look everywhere before continuing, “if we match our rhythm, less sound and we won’t get caught.”
“that’s…”
you grin, “genius, i know-“
“-so stupid.”
you face drops, “eyy, come on, you spoilsport!” you whisper. “you just have to hold me, it’s not like that’s a crime!”
he leans in to be face-to-face with you, “in this house, it is.” and raises his eyebrow as you stare him down, long enough for him to sigh and you smile.
“come on, mr park!” you mumble and lean forward. “i’m not even that bad.”
you say before extending both your hands out to him, he pauses and sighs. thinking about all the shit he can get for doing this before throwing his head back, defeatedly placing his hand on yours which you quickly move to your waist.
“hold on tight,” you whisper before looking towards the hallway, “make a noise and we’re done for the night.”
“we’re gonna get caught,” he whispers halfway through, hands neatly wrapped around your waist as you two matched steps as if doing a partner dance at your father’s extravagant gala’s he likes to hold.
“you’re just scared.”
“no,” he immediately refutes, looking you into the eye. “i’m scared i’ll be fired or even worse, killed.”
or even worser, disappoint your father.
you shake your head, then raise your hand to his chest and pat it twice. “then i’ll save you.” as if that’ll make a difference he thinks.
he shakes his head, knowing exactly who will save who and who will get who in trouble. it’s not that he’s scared of dying, he’s scared of disappointing your father’s faith in him. the man who gave him everything he couldn’t ever get; he can’t jeopardize his trust.
but when he looks down at you, your eyebrows scrunched up as your eyes narrow and look ahead. he can’t help but think that if he protects you, he won’t disappoint your father. if he fulfils your every demand, he won’t be jeopardizing anything.
it’s what he hopes in the end.  
he walks with you in silence, ears perking up at the slightest of a crack or squeak that makes him grip your dress tighter as if ready to push you behind him to take cover. but instead, none of that happens, the two of your make your way towards your room in peace.
the silence over you two was deafening and you did nothing to break it, that is until you’re in your room. back to your door and eyes on seonghwa, “so.” you whisper, watching his hesitation.
he nods slowly, “so..” he pauses. “i think i should go-“
“-at this time?” you cut him off, locking the door behind before walking to him and he instinctively backs up. “isn’t this more fun? just you and me alone in the room?”
you watch the way his eyes widen, and you bite back a smile, “m-ma’-“
“god, i was just joking.” you laughed, eyeing his surprised face and eyes that blinked repeatedly. “sit down,” you point at the couch behind him. “i’ll go get the first aid box.”
“that’s-“ he says out loud but immediately stops himself, “..that’s not necessary, ma’am.”
you ignore him and walk away towards your bathroom, leaving him standing alone in the middle of your room. he hesitates to move but does it anyway, eyes looking around the room and he realizes it’s the first time he’s stepped in the room of anyone he works for. 
he didn’t expect it to be so soon or even at all, but he smiles a little and shakes his head. eyes searching the room and he notices the amount of colour patterned clothes you have hanging around; he expected your room to be big and uninviting but it’s the exact opposite. 
warm, a little big and cozy. he smiles to himself as he begins to walk to the bookshelf just behind him, looking at the photo frames where you and your family were present. he lifts a hand to run his fingers on the shelf gently while looking at your childhood photos.
from where he sees his boss, your dad in one of the frames. holding a younger you, who was dressed in a pink tutu. he smiles again, only ever seeing his boss with a stoic face that rarely cracks a grin legitimately smile. he then looks at you, eyes shut as you grinned from ear to ear holding a little trophy.
he then looks at the frame behind it, where you stood alone. older now, maybe in your teens. he remembers this one, the dress specifically.
it was when he had joined newly, he was told you were his only daughter, and he couldn’t help but peek outside to see you— not like a creep but because everyone was looking their boss getting scolded by you.
it was a rare sight to see, but it’s one he remembers the most.
just when he’s about to look ahead, you come walking in. startling him in the way, he scrambles to his feet and looks at you as if he got caught stealing something.
you blink, “you can sit down!” you usher him over to the couch. eyes following him hurrying to take a seat before you join and sit in front of him on the table.
once he’s sat, you raise your eyebrows and extend both your hands. “hands.” you mumble in the emptiness of your room where only a lamp was lit in the far corner.
he looks at you and blinks twice, “ma’-“
“-y/n.”
“y-y/n,” he begins and you’re already reaching for his hands. “it’s fine you don’t have to do this-“
“-and why not?” you cut him off, scowling and he hesitantly pulls his hand back. but before that even happens, you pull his hands back into your lap. “you’re bleeding at your knuckles!”
he looks down at his hands, eyeing the dried blood on his hand and the way your hold on him is so gentle. the first he’s ever experience.
“i’m used to it.”
“well not on my watch,” and you begin to nurse his wound, whispering to yourself about how much blood’s been dripping and how he’s not worried about his wound. “as long as you’re my bodyguard, i don’t give you the permission to get hurt.”
he says nothing and you continue to nurse him until you realize the man doesn’t even make a noise, a squeak, or a hiss in pain. you look up with wide eyes, “is your hand numb?!”
“no?” he answers, looking at his hand and then at you.
“then why..” you scoot closer, “how are you not making a noise in pain?”
“i told you, i’m used to it.” he replies, and you narrow your eyes. he then leans forward to match your stance, narrowing his eyes he continues. “i’ve gotten worse injuries, this is nothing.”
“yeah? enlighten me.”
his features change with the way he smirks, “broke my ribs, both arms, one leg.” he pauses to recall, catching your expression while doing so. “number of concussions and bull-“
“okay okay!” you give up and he smiles a little. “i don’t care how bad you were injured,” you poke his hand, “an injury is an injury. and you’re hurting i just know-“
“-no i’m not.” he says, eyes still on you.
you smile, a little strained. “yeah?” you begin to wrap the bandage around his hand. “yes, you are.”
“no, i’m not.”
you wrap it tighter, “yes.”
“no.” he stares right back.
“yes.” you wrap it again, watching his lip twitch.
but he acts as if nothing hurts, “i’m still good,” he then points at his hand. “you can wrap it tighter.”
“gosh,” you whisper, knotting the bandage before giving him his hand back and falls back  on the couch with a smirk.
but he’s quick to regain his posture, hands going down to grab your ankle and place it on his knee. “h-hey!” you yell but he immediately puts a hand to your mouth.
“you’re going to wake them up,” he whispers, and you nod slowly, then look at him holding your ankle. “guess who’s also injured.”
“unlike me,” he brings his hand down and hooks his finger on the box before dragging it closer to him. “you’re not used to this.”
he hums, “correct?” and looks at you as he separates the cotton.
“correct.”
he nods, “which also means you’ll be in pain, correct?”
“a lot.”
he raises an eyebrow, “yeah?”
“hm, i have low pain tolerance.” you mumble as he begins to nurse around your ankle, wincing whenever he dabs the cotton too harshly.
“how will you run your dad’s business if your tolerance is low?” he asks, gently brushing his fingers over your ankle.
you smile, “see…that’s not my plan,” and then hiss. “and if i were to one day…you’ll be there, right?”
he smiles stiffly, “of course, it’s my job to be your right-hand man after all.” he then places your leg down gently before holding the other one up.
“then you better be there for everything,” you say, “don’t miss anything, don’t die and absolutely do not get injured.”
“yes ma’am.”
silence then falls over you two, just him carefully holding your ankle while you watch his hands skillfully wrap the bandage, it makes you wonder just how many times he’s done this. occasionally finding yourself staring at his face when he asked a question rather than responding.
it makes you snort internally at how at first you thought seonghwa was never going to talk to you, be civil and extremely formal to now where he’s more comfortable and warming up.
“thank you.”
he lifts his head up slowly, “…for what?”
you point your finger at your feet, “for that and for beating the guys up and uh, sorry for eating your ice cream and! for dragging you in here!”
he smiles a little and you’ve come to like it when he smiles, even if that’s the only thing he’ll do. “your welcome, ma’am.”
“i had a question,” he suddenly asks, and you beam at his request. “go on!”
he then places your leg down gently before pointing behind you, towards the bookshelf. “that photo there,” you turn around to follow his finger. “with your father.”
“ah,” you hum, glancing at the photo and remembering the moment it was taken. “it was my first ballet recital,” your eyes fall on the pink tutu your dad gifted you. “way before this whole mafia thing started, my dad was a small lawyer.”
you turn to him, “you must know.” and he nods. “business was never good where he worked and we could at times, barely afford a dinner. sometimes i think this mafia thing started because he wanted to gift me a pink tutu.”
he snorts, looking at you with a fond stare. “how come?” he asks, “i heard he took a loan and then was fraudulently framed and jailed.”
you nod, “that’s right, he has a grudge against the insiders of the justice system. so, the only better thing he could think of was,” you smile, “to rule it.”
“and now he controls the insiders the way he wants,” seonghwa adds and you nod. “so, it really started because of your tutu?”
“a man can do anything,” you lean forward till your facing him. “to make his daughter happy.”
he tilts his head and raises his eyebrow, “then that same man can kill me, for his daughter.”
you mirror his expression impressively, “and that daughter can stop him.” you bite down on your lip, “hm?”
he smiles, the one where his teeth show and looks down to laugh a little. his hair falling over his eyes and it makes your heart skip a beat, “thank you.”
you turn your head to the side, “for?” you mumble. “putting you in danger?”
“for fixing my wounds and saving me from your dad, but.”
“but?” you raise your eyebrow and then to glance at him softly.
“but next time there’s a party,” he fiddles with the bandage before looking up. “ask me to join so this won’t happen again.”
“you got it.”
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“do you like those seonghwa?”  
you ask, pointing your finger at a wallet he’s been eyeing ever since he stepped into the store with you.
ever since the night he walked you home, the two of you have been looking eerily suspicious according to your father who narrowed his eyes the second you two walk in any room.
the eyes of your parents would watch your every move whenever seonghwa was in the room, and you let them. casually chatting with seonghwa in front of them even if he doesn’t respond, though you know he answers through his eyes.
or the fact that he follows you to your uni every day, waits outside or sits by you (always offers to keep his jacket on your seat so you don’t have to sit on anything dirty), opens the car doors for you, offers you his arm for walking purposes, stands with his back to you when you’re getting out of the car and even shares a word with kyle over pens. 
which you know kyle likes involuntarily. sometimes he excuses himself and walks out halfway in class, which turns out he does to get the best table at the cafeteria.
where you two sit down and talk, well mostly just you. he listens to you blabber without interfering or objecting, pushing sandwiches your way whenever he thinks you need one more.
to when you were struggling to catch up to your teacher’s pace, hands focusing on notes while your eyes settled on the screen. but it felt as if you couldn’t understand anything and when panic arose in you, you hesitantly looked around for someone to give you notes.
raising your hand anxious but when no avail, you looked at seonghwa who already seemed to have raised his hand.
“seo-“
“professor,” his deep voice rang the classroom of four hundred people. “could you please repeat the section you just went over?”
your wide eyes staring at him as your heartbeat began to speed up, he who didn’t even spare you glance but instead looked down at his lap as if listening to the lecture. “oh, sure!”
or when he almost slapped a classmate of yours for taunting you and you had it physically pull seonghwa away from him.
or when you were getting ready for an event your father had forced you to where seonghwa would not look at you in the eye no matter what, except stand right beside you whenever you talked to anyone.
even if it meant staying through the boring small talks or forced arrange marriage offers thrown your way which, then, seonghwa would interfere in by standing in-front of you.
“unfortunately, we won’t accept any offers of arrange marriages for miss y/n.”  
and if they were to put a hand on you, or even do the mere action of reaching it seonghwa would already tower over them and firmly tell them to back off.
“put your hands on her even once, we’ll have consequences to face.” and tap the others cheek, a little harshly.
all while you watched from behind his shoulder, making remarks to fire seonghwa up whenever he’d reject any offers (that your father told him to), “yeah! what he said!”  
so now when you two sneakily snuck out right after your class to a mall, he’s been nothing but extremely protective of you. always walking behind you, hands coming to shield you if anyone’s about to remotely bump into you or have his hand on his holster at any given moment.
he turns around, “no ma’am, we’re here for you.” and you look around, eyeing the signature hermès pattern everywhere in the store.
colorful clothes adorning opposite walls and a large glass table with a display of wallets and watches and bracelets. salespeople standing with their hands in front of them with pleasant smiles on their faces, though you know most are directed towards seonghwa which makes you snort.
“you can buy anything you want seonghwa,” and before he opens his mouth, you raise your hand. “i’m paying.”
he shakes his head immediately and frantically, looking around the expensive store before inhaling. “that’s alright ma’am,” he taps his watch, “we should get going before it’s too late.”  
with that he walks away, leaving you standing with a grin. you look around the chic store, making eye contact with a salesperson before tapping on the wallet and nodding. you repeat the action every time you spot him staring at an item for too long.
once you’re done, he carries your bags in both his hands. sunglasses on and walking back to your car while you stare at his back with a smirk before walking towards him.
he opens the car door for you, you walk closer until you’re right in front of him. “thank you seonghwa.” he smiles before slowly getting back in the car and driving off.
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“y/n,”
the blanket of silence that falls over the entire living room at the sound of your father’s voice sends a chill down your spine, making you shift in your seat entirely.
“yes, dad.”
you look up, eyes falling on the addressed man raising his eyebrow as his one leg is on top of the other. dressed in the finest of expensive fabrics, a well-trimmed beard and two stripes of grey in his hair that he calls a ‘fashion statement’ after watching the housewives of beverly hills.
you’ve come to take him as a joke, but when he uses that tone, you know it’s not your father speaking but in fact the man who runs a whole intel of rings.
“where were you last week, friday,” you chew on your inner lip, eyes on your lap eyeing the neat manicure before answering. “at night specifically.”
“i-in my room dad,” there’s a tremble in your voice that he catches on quickly, he looks up and turns his head to the side. staring at seonghwa who looked straight, never making eye contact with anyone.
“seonghwa,”
the man stiffens upon his name, standing tall before bending at his waist. “yes, sir.”
“where was y/n?” he asks the same question and you turn to look at seonghwa, praying internally that he doesn’t spill the beans because you’d be in a lot of trouble.
“i’-“
“dad!” you quickly cut seonghwa off, “how would seonghwa know, he wasn’t even here on that day! i gave him an earl-“
the hand your father lifts is enough to tell you that he isn’t buying your bullshit, he’s never, even if you’ve tried to make him. he then points at your feet, and you can’t help the way your eyes widen, “why are there cuts on your feet?”
you quickly scramble to give a response, “i was with kai at the sch-“
“y/n.”
you sigh, defeated and lazily staring at your father. “seonghwa, narrate what happened during that day.”
you don’t give seonghwa a look or stare but know that he’ll tell the truth, under the eyes of your father the truth will always come out. it felt as if it were court, and everyone was giving testimonies to send you to jail.
“ma’am was getting late night snacks down the street,” you freeze at his answer, the slight wavering of his tone that you know your dad didn’t catch, but you did. “when a group of wannabes chased her until she ran into me, i quickly fought them away with the help of ma’am and we made it out safely.”
“safely?” you father repeats, eyeing the faint marks around your feet and looks at seonghwa with a glare that’s only ever terrified you. especially on report card days. “i told you, y/n shouldn’t be hur-“
“but he hurt himself too!” you butt in, eyes wide and hands in the air. “he was just trying to protect me, we— he came up with a plan on spot and if it weren’t for him, dad i’d be more injured!”
“this is about you y/n!” you dad yells, eyebrows pulled together in a scowl. “you are my heir not seonghwa, you are supposed to be protected twenty-four seven!”
“there’s already conflicts building in neighboring groups, and i don’t want you to get hurt.”
he then stands up and you follow, immediately getting on your feet and staring in the eyes of your father while also sharing glances with seonghwa who stood with an emotionless face.
“if this happens again,” he takes a step forward and you swallow. “i won’t be as nice as i am.”
you nod shakily, “i-it won’t happen again!”
“seonghwa.”
“yes, sir.”
“find out who those wannabes were,” he nods, “and prepare a lesson of defense for y/n, use the back grounds.”
seonghwa immediately bows, “i’ll prepare one right away.”
“and you,” you straighten up, eyes blinking repeatedly at your dad who shakes his head. “i don’t want a single scar on you, we’ll host a gala soon. do not cause trouble, understood?”
you look down and nod, “yes, dad.”
hearing the footsteps fade away, you finally lift your head to look towards seonghwa. who stood with his hands behind his back, eyes straight and in a well fitted tux.
“ma’am.”
“why’d you lie?” you ask, hearing your voice echo the four walls. taking small steps on the carpet you walk closer to him, stopping as the only thing dividing you from him was the couch.
he stays still as if he heard nothing, so you ask him again. “why did you lie, seonghwa?”
he fidgets slightly before looking over his shoulder and then back at you, “i’m your best friend, isn’t that, right?” hesitance in his stance and tone.
you pause to take in what he said then bream out into a grin that makes your eyes curl into crescents. “i knew!” you gasp, “i could trust you!” you yell but he’s quick to put a finger on his lips to shush you.
jumping in your spot you swiftly lift your leg on the couch, lifting yourself up to wrap your arms around seonghwa’s shoulder and pulling him into an embrace. “you’re the bestest friend seonghwa!”
he stiffens up at the touch, eyes widened slightly and chest pounding.
“if i was your boss,” you pull back, not looking at his expression before announcing loudly while snapping your fingers. “immediate pay raise!”
“you are my boss.”
your hands then land on his shoulder, patting them as you held an expression of dramatic admiration. “i knew i could trust you,” you pat his shoulders before standing straight.
“now…i will be busy for the next two hours and you can-“ you swiftly glance at the clock before looking back at him. “-have a break!”
but before you can move, fidget or maybe even breathe properly seonghwa’s hand comes to grab your wrist, gently but firmly.
“where do you think you’re going?” you stop, looking around the room before staring at your wrist before looking at his unmoving figure.
“me and kai,” you begin, “project.”
he leans his free hand on the couch, leaning in until his face is right in-front of yours. “your project can wait; your father gave you something else to do.”
you squint your eyes, lifting your other hand up to his face. where you extend your forefinger out and poke it in the middle of his black glasses, pulling them down just a little to reveal his eyes.
“no.”
he smiles, not the nice kind. “or do you want me to call your father?”
you shake your head, narrowing your eyes even more as you suck in a breath. “you wouldn’t.”
he smirks, “oh i would, and i don’t think he’d like that very much, would he?” his smirk expands more, knowing he hit a mark he pushes his glasses back on before leaning back to his straighter stance.
letting go of your hand, he uses the same hand he held you by to point towards your right. “now,” he says, a muse to his tone. “off we go to your first lesson.”
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“seonghwa,” you sing.
“seong! hwa!”
“hwa!”
“seong-seo-“
“if you think this will distract me from letting you go,” seonghwa turns around, eyeing your frowning face. “then you’re absolutely wrong.”
“we’re going to the quarters and you’re doing the training,” he bends at his waist and tilts his head, eyeing you as if expecting a yes.
“fine.” you grumble out, making a distasteful expression before following him inside the bodyguard quarters he mentioned the other day. stomping behind him purposely so he’d hear but he turns a blind eye to it.
in fact, he pays no attention to your whining about not wanting to train while putting out some bogus explanations which he does not buy one bit until you’re both inside the quarters.
which to your surprise look nothing like what you had imagined, you thought it’d perhaps be dark and cold and dull but it’s quite…the same as your place. straight out of a magazine quite literally, your eyes fall over the lobby where couches were planted as if they were delivered just yesterday.
“do you guys even use the couches?” you ask, seeing how there’s not a bump or a trace of a body sitting on the couch. “or..anything here at all?”
he looks over his shoulder before shrugging, “we only use it if the police ever come,“ you hum. “otherwise, this is just a set. wait till you see the backside, that’s the one we really use.”
you nod, mindlessly following behind him while your eyes wander over each corner. as you walk in further with him, the hallway gets darker and darker. from the bourgeoise 90’s lobby to an almost underground ring type area.
you would’ve mistaken it as a professional underground ring, with the boxing rings to your left and equipment with a suspicious number of doors to your right it feels like a movie set.
you had never been exposed to this side of your dad’s business though you knew everything about it, seeing it in person makes a chill run down your body. feeling unsettled at hearing live echoes and yells coming from the boxing rings.
which is why you stick close to seonghwa, looking over his shoulder as you walked. “is this place, okay?”
he nods without looking at you and you glance over at other guards bowing at you, you smiled awkwardly and waved your hands asking them to stop non-verbally.
“you can’t tell them they don’t have to bow,” you whisper to seonghwa, and he chuckles quietly.
“you’re the boss daughter, our heir.” he suddenly stops to look back and you stare right back at him. “we bow to you because we respect you.”
“but like,” you look around and huddle closer. “what if i don’t want it?”
he raises his eyebrows at that, staring at you with narrowed eyes. “respect? you don’t want the respect?”
you click your tongue, “no!” and then point at everyone who still are bowing. “like bowing, makes me feel older heh,” you grin, and he scoffs.
without saying anything further, he steps to the right before opening a door. standing back before asking you to go in but you stop. “aren’t you the bodyguard? you go firs-“
he cuts you off by walking in and you follow right behind and closing the door, “don’t look at anyone, don’t talk to anyone. keep following me.”
“why not?” you question, a sheepish smile on your face because you know it annoyed him.
“because you’ll get distracted.” he turns around and you’re already a few steps behind him, eyeing the poster pinned to the wall with your hands behind your back and bending at your waist.
“ma’am.” he calls out with a sigh, and you turn your head to him, “ma’am, we’l-“
“ma’am who?!”
“fuck,” seonghwa whispers at the way your eyes widen at the new voice that yelled.
“who was that?”
“no one, let’s get into the room qui-“
“not so fast!” seonghwa sees your eyes move from him to behind him and he instantly regrets it. cursing under his breath he turns around to see a group he specifically wanted you to ignore.
“oh. my. god, seonghwa!” you walk closer towards him but it’s almost like he knew you were, he held his hand up behind him to stop you.
“why are you at work this early?” you frown, taking small steps towards him.
“boss called me in,” you hear him say, “now leave the room, i’ve got some work to-“
but before he can finish his sentence, he’s shoved off to the side revealing three men standing with their eyes widened.
“oh.”
you blink and they blink, on sync.
you take a step forward; they take one back.
“hi,” your voice dropping to a whisper, raising your hand, and doing a little wave while seonghwa gets his balance back only to be shoved back.
“you’re the boss’s daughter!?”
you nod, shakily and in a split second the three men are bowing at you. you chuckle awkwardly before looking at seonghwa who rubs his forehead and sighs.
“oh my god,” the light-purple haired man begins to walk to you but not before seonghwa holds him back by the collars. “h-hey!”
“i told you wooyoung, don’t.”
“why not!” you beamed, “hi wooyoung, i’m y/n its very nice to meet yo-“
“she said my name,” and wooyoung collapses onto the rest two.
“h-hi, i’m yeosang,” the blond man pointed at himself, and you smiled, and then he points at the one with cerulean haired man. “and he’s hongjoong.”
hongjoong who’s eyes widen at the introduction immediately holds wooyoung up, “we are very grateful to serve you.” and bow in a sync, at the perfect height.
you look at seonghwa who raises his eyebrow at you and then at the trio, “it’s nice to meet you too and please-“
“she said please,”
“wooyoung.” seonghwa hissed, voice low and demanding and it made you swallow.
“sorry, sorry!”
“hi y/n?” wooyoung steps forward extending his hand out for you to take. “can we call you that?”
you take his hand and shake it, “of course you can!”
“she shook my hand, oh my gosh.”
“that’s it.” seonghwa swoops in to pull wooyoung back and motioning for you to join him inside, never putting a hand on you.  
the trio stood in a line as you walked past them with a grin, they all returned, especially wooyoung who you seem to fancy.
once the door’s closed behind you, you’re welcomed to a semi-broken-down core of a practice area. boxing equipment laying around with faded colours of red and blue gloves as well as dumbbells that were a funky neon green.
“your friends are nice.”
“don’t like them too much.” he mutters, and you look back at the door, “don’t befriend them either.”
“why-“
he looks back and you stop midway, “training?”
you blink and nod, not pressing anything further seeing his expression. “yeah.”
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“hit once on the side.”
“like that?”
“no.”
you sigh, letting your shoulders slump and you turn to look at him. you’ve been doing this for an hour and a half straight, you’re sure its lunch time but you don’t dare remind him. especially when he’s got that frown stuck on his face since the very beginning.
tux off and only in a white shirt whose sleeves are rolled to his elbows, he’s been constantly demanding you to punch or kick a certain way. even if it’s correct, he asks you to do it his way because-
“it’s my way or the highway here.”
and you’d use the dad card on him.
“wait till dad finds out about this.”
to which he smugly replies to, “hm, he won’t come to save you.”
which true, and you hated how aggravating it was.
you had to do this class repeatedly as your dad warned you off the dangers, that were currently ongoing the world you lived in, where you were an easy target.
“do five more sets and we’ll call it a break.” your eyes must be glimmering for seonghwa to take note off and shake his head, coming to walk behind the long red coloured punching bag.
gripping his slim fingers around it he looks at you and then nods, “five more.” and if it weren’t for your brain to be completely blinded by the idea of not doing this anymore, you would’ve noticed the way seonghwa looked at you.
or more how you looked at seonghwa, with that white shirt rolled to his elbows, how could you not ogle him up and down? not only does it make you smirk in between the lessons but also makes you want to slow time down even more than it already was.  
when he taps the bag, you snap back to reality and nod, bringing your gloved clad hands up to your chest. standing in the way he’s taught you (for ten minutes) before throwing a punch at the bag, which makes it jiggle back.
“again,” seonghwa sighs, the disappointed look on his face making you clench your fists tighter. “hit it right where my hand is.”
and you do, hit it where he told you but he’s just not happy. with the way his face remains the same, where his eyebrows are scrunched together with a tick in his jaw.
even if you wanted to say something, you stopped yourself before throwing a punch again. but this time his lips leave a small ‘tch’ sound that makes you grow irritated.
“what is it?” you finally ask, hands on your waist and weight on your one foot. “is it the way i’m not hitting to your satisfaction?”
“exactly that.” he responds, walking around the bag before coming to stand in front of you. hands crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face, “i want you to copy what i’m asking you to.”
“but i am doing what you asked me to!”
he sighs, running a hand through his black hair while you stood with an eyebrow raised. he glanced at you and then shakes his head slightly, “watch how i do it and then repeat, okay?”
before he turns around, looking at you to make sure you’re watching before standing in his position. fists to his chest, eyes narrowed and be throws a punch that’s so loud that the hit echoes the entire room twice.
you stare at him blankly, hands by your aide and eyes blinking repeatedly as he hits the bag one more time and your jaw drops. a slow motion of him punching the bag replays in front of your eyes repeatedly until he snaps his finger at you and asks you to stand properly.
but again, you don’t even stand properly to his level that he comes to stand behind you. you feel his towering front to your back, with the warmth and the slight smell of perfume and the mix of sweat.  
his breath now fanning down your neck and you swallow, “now what?” you say, voice turning into a whisper automatically as your heartbeat begins to ring in your ear.
he raises his hands to your waist, hovering his hands beside it and never not touching it. that’s before he inhales sharply and quietly asks, “can i hold onto you?” his low tone making you shiver.
you swallow before nodding and then you feel his larger hands come to settle on the either side of you. you inhale sharply as he holds your hips gently and moves you into the correct position then when you thought it was over, his hands lift to hold into your forearms.
“i’ll guide you,” he mumbles before clearing his throat and you nod. “watch and learn.”
he then moves his hand the way he would punch, with every action his chest hits your back and your heartbeat skips beats. he does the same in silence a few more times before stepping back, “try it yourself.”
and you do, swallowing first and then hitting the punching bag with the exact amount of force seonghwa wants. and if it were not for him to stand behind you, you would’ve definitely seen the corner of his lip perking up into a smirk before he finally dismisses you.
with a loud exhale you plop onto the ground with a noise that he smiles at, staring you down while he stands beside you. “i think i liked the heels better for defense, don’t you think?”
he snorts, placing his hands in his pocket before bending at his waist. “if you’re okay with destroying your jimmy cho-“
“never mind.” you glare, a small pout forming on your lips, and you look the other way. body laying like a starfish that he can’t help but find endearing but before he thinks into it more, he excuses himself to walk out.
you lift your head up on your elbow and watch him leave, one eyebrow raised and lips forming into an ‘o’ as if you’d whistle while staring at his brooding back and broad shoulders.
once the door’s closed you find yourself looking at the lord and new posters stuck on each other on the walls, some ripped while others faded with years.
you let out a sigh of relief for the first time since you walked in here, with the tension between you and seonghwa, the lingering hot stares, the subtly touches over the span of months you’ve been with him has you waking up at nights.
at first maybe you thought it was some weird crush you had on him, which got brutally debunked by your friend kai. who you texted and called during the nights, where he’d yell at you for waking him up and then give you the sweetest advice the other second.
“kai, what if he doesn’t like me back?”
“you gotta ask him that yourself,” you’d hear him yawn, “there’s a lot of reasons for him to say no even if he likes you, y’know?”
“like what?”
“your godamn father.”
right.
because you can’t do anything in this house if you don’t have his permission. that’s how it has been growing up, aside from the luxurious provided to you (which you were grateful for), you were never allowed to hang out with anyone at your school or outside.
the only person your dad trusted (borderline not) was kai, other than that, you were sheltered and deprived of the interaction you wanted. to date, to smoke perhaps or do things your once teenager heart wanted.
which now meant, feeling your heartbeat skip or beat way too much when you’re around seonghwa or have butterflies in your stomach when he’d do the slightest of actions to make sure you’re safe.
whether it be him giving you his number so that he’d be able to join you in your next sneak out where he breaks his forefront with you. chugging down soda drinks or heavily spiced noodles to eating flavored ice cones where your tongues would get colored.
so that ‘crush’ isn’t exactly a crush anymore, as much as you hoped it didn’t progress mu-
“y/n?”
you snap out into reality when you hear your name but want to fall back into it when you realize his face is right in front of yours.
“hi,” you whisper and watch his lips twist into a smile.
“hi y/n,” his voice suddenly falls deaf on your ears, “let’s practice again, okay?”
you’re blinking again and again, and he watches with a smile before snapping his fingers in front of your face, “y-yeah, practice, let’s do that.”
“are you okay?” he asks, eyeing your widened eyes with soft eyes. he leans in closer, close enough for his nose to be just, just touch yours. “you’re breathing quite heavily.”
“i’m good!” you stand up suddenly, looking everywhere but him. “we, uh, we should get back to practice!”
which went awfully if it meant you staring at seonghwa half the time and blanking out. every minute you spend with him just confirms kai’s accusations at you about how you liked seonghwa.
and if it weren’t for him to be so damn close to you all the time, maybe you wouldn’t have felt this way. but now, you aren’t even paying attention to what he’s saying. just being aware of him beside you, his hands lifting to point and suddenly your attention goes to that.
the more you followed his hands, the sooner you realize there’s something burning at your elbow. which takes you a second to realize and when you do, you’re hissing in pain loudly.
loud enough for him to immediately hold the punching bag straight, hurriedly reach for your arm gently and asking, “are you alright?” he soft checks your arm as you twist your face into one of intense pain.
“i…can’t move my arm.”
“i told you to pay attention! look at you now, you’re all hurt!”
you don’t register the next few moments, because one second, he's yelling at you about how you’re hurt and not paying attention. the other he’s sat you down, kneeling in front of you while wrapping a bandage around your elbow.
“you have to start being careful y/n.”
you hum, staring at his face that’s full of worry and it makes your insides do summersaults.
“but then who’d do this for me?”
he can’t help but breathe through his nose at that, biting back a smile before he swaps it back to his frowning face. “ow!”
he sighs audibly, staring at your elbow that’s wrapped in white before looking at you in the eye.
“let’s call it a day then hm?” he mumbles, and you nod slowly, he then reaches beside him to pull out a towel that he lifts up to your face and wipes the sweat off.
“hey seonghwa,” you whisper, loud enough for him to hear and hum an answer. “…you need to stop doing this,”
his eyes flicker to you as he continues to pat away at your face, “stop doing what?”
“playing with my heart like that.”
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“y/n, no.”
“hwa, yes.”
“no!”
you look at him with a deadpan, raising an eyebrow and folding your arms over your chest.
you, seonghwa and the trio who’s currently yelling really loudly behind you two came to the store, right before the gala. more like you forcing them all to get out and look good for the gala even if they all said no, you knew they wanted to go.
and curse that stupid rule of bodyguards not being family, you were inviting them, nonetheless. a little scolding from your dad wasn’t something you minded, so even after their ‘attempts’ to stop you, you were successful in getting them all out to the store.
and currently, unsuccessful in getting seonghwa to try an outfit.
“yes!” you whisper loudly, shoving a blazer towards seonghwa and pushing him in the changing rooms.
“y/n, i can’t be wearing this!” he argues back, looking left and right in the rather empty changing room hallways. “..and we can’t be seen like this!”
“like what?” you ask with a playful smile before taking a step closer to him, in the slim hallways. “like this?” you raise your hand and place it on his forearm. “or like this?”
he swallows before looking away towards the end, “your dad’s men are here, if they see us like this we’d be in big trouble.”
you look to where he’s looking, narrowing your eyes to look for anyone but there’s not a soul standing there. with a roll of your eyes, “i’m not kidding,” he lowers his voice to a whisper, “y/n!”
“fine then, my dad’s men are here, right?” you move to the side and open the changing room doors, “then let’s give them a show.”
panic immediately rushes to his face as you push him inside the changing rooms, to the point his back is up against the mirror. “m-ma’am we can be fo-“
“-you talk so much, don’t you?” you say, eyebrows knitting together. “now wear this and come out,” before he opens his mouth you continue again. “this is an order.”
you lean your face closer to his, close enough that you can smell his perfume and it makes your stomach churn. his eyes now wide and staring at you, blinking repeatedly while you search his face.
taking your time to marvel at his face, a small smirk appears on your lips that he finds himself looking at. your glittered lips, courtesy to that lip-gloss he asked to carry in his pocket looking at him with a pout.
“y-y/n.”
your eyes flicker to his, a hint of tease in your eyes you raise your brow slightly. and without a single thought behind your eyes or your mind, you end up blurting something that shows instant regret on your face.
“are you married?”
“what?” his face drops and you curse under your breath.
“no like,” you bite down on your lips, “i just…can’t be seen romancing a taken man, you know, my reputation and all?” you blink.
he laughs, a loud laugh that has you stopping in your tracks to look at him. his head falls on you, forehead leaning on your shoulder as his shoulders shake while laughing and you stay still.
with blood shooting up to your cheeks, a shy smile on your face he looks up. “no,”
“no what?” you ask, paying no attention to the way he looks at you because you’re so lost in the way your heartbeat rings in your ear.
“i’m not married.” he mumbles, taking a step forward and you take one back until you’re standing outside the changing rooms.
“single.” he clicks his tongue and with a wink closes the curtains on you.
you stay still for a few seconds, just staring at the curtain until your lips twist into a smile, the one where you bite down on your lower lip.
you then turn around, the smile still on your face and stomach fluttering with butterflies before your eyes set on where seonghwa was pointing at.
“your dad’s men are here!”
the smile you had is quickly replaced by a small frown, fishing your phone out you text you dad wondering just what the fuck is he doing sending his private men when you have your bodyguards with you.
y/n, 2:35pm
dad did you send
someone to keep an
eye on me?
y/n, 2:37pm
i see the seen receipts
u can respond
dad, 2:40pm
come home and we will talk.
with an annoyed sigh you put your phone back in your pocket and then turn around just in time for seonghwa to pull open the curtains.
“oh,” you whisper, standing frozen with your hand still at your back pocket and eyes widening as you look at him up and down.
“how is it?” he asks, fiddling with the cuffs as he straightens the fabric down.
“good…” you mumble, your eyes doing that thing where you look at him up and down slowly as if to save the image in your mind. “great actually…y-yeah,” you nod repeatedly before looking away to whisper an “oh my gosh.”
“is the colour good?“ he asks, completely and utterly oblivious to the way you’re staring at him and if he were to notice he didn’t mention anything. “don’t you think you’re spending too much?”
and how can you not look at him, men in tuxedo’s were always your weakness but what was even worse was when they looked so good in it. “gosh,” you whisper to yourself as you look away and internally yell at yourself to get it together.
“we’ll get this one!” you nod repeatedly, eyes away from him and turning around to walk to the cashier
“y/n, in no way you’re paying.” you grin hearing the four repeat the same thing to you repeatedly.
seonghwa then comes to stand right behind you causing you to look up at him, “yes?”
“y/n, this all is really expensive-“ he looks at the faces of the rest, “we could’ve just gotten the suits from the nearby shop.”
“but i don’t like the fabric they have there.” you retort back with a growing smile; you then  raise your hand to pat his shoulder. “so don’t worry.”
when you turn around to tap your card, you don’t look at the total cost that is until seonghwa decides to angrily whisper in your ear.
“four full suits,” he grits as he looks at the price. “that’s almost 30k!”
“really?” you gasp as you look at the design on your card, void of any surprise.
he nods, “i told you we shouldn’t-“
“-i thought it was expensive.”
you look over your shoulder to watch his face drop with a soft smile before tapping the card, hearing the beep and picking your bags up.
“where to next?” you turn to look at them, blinking twice. “food?”
“n-no!”
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“this is where you’re meeting your friend?” seonghwa asks from beside you and you turn to him with a grin that he squints his eyes at.
“what friend?”
he looks in front of him when you nod, a strange looking diner with broken neon lights and a welcome sign full of rust.
“it’s a sweet little diner!”
he thinks it’s anything but sweet, in fact, it looks terrifying and in an extremely sketchy area where the only people visible are older ladies that resemble babushkas.
he’s glad he has his gun right up in inner his chest pocket, ready to pull it out whenever he sees anyone except you glare at him to put it back.
“table for three please!” he hears you ask the lady inside, who gives him a good look before looking back at you.
his eyes look all around at the wallpaper that he’s sure he can find at his grandma’s place.
“there’s only table for two left,” the raspy, deep, and scratchy voice of hers tickles your ears.
it’s then when seonghwa leans near your ear, “ma’am, this place seems way too sketchy-“ he glances at the lady glaring at him. “i-i don’t think we should stay he-“
“we’ll take that one then!”
the lady in front hums with disdain, “married?” she asks, writing something up in her old rust colored diary.
both of you stop blink and exhale on sync.
"no.” he answers.
“yes.” you answer, giving him a look and a tight-lipped smile. “only recently actually! right honey?” you exclaim, holding his forearm and leaning on him that makes him stop in his tracks.
seonghwa stares at you with wide eyes, ready to explain to you how this is not right but your glare has him nodding.
“that’s right!” you kick his shin, “b-baby!”
you smile, eyes curling into upwards crescents as the lady nods. “okay, you can go in.”
once you’re sat, you wiggle your eyebrows at an emotionless seonghwa. leaning forward to pat his shoulder, “how are you honey?” you tease, “do you need water?”
“y/n.”
“what?” you ask, hiding back a smile when the waitress (aka the lady in the front) walks by you two with menus. “loosen up hwa!”
“this is a really stupid idea.”
you shake your head and click your tongue, “not an idea,” you correct him. “but a date.”  
that seems to set him off, “y/n if anyone sees us here, we-“
“i bet you can’t even order.” you interrupt him.
he frowns, “yes i can.”
you lift an eyebrow up, “yeah?” he nods, and you raise your hand to call over the waitress. “do it then.”
he gives you a look when he realizes what you’re doing and shakes his head, sighing as the waitress comes over, chewing her gum obnoxiously. “can we have two plates of pasta?”
“there’s like thirteen choices of pasta in our menu,” the waitress retorts back and you bite back a laugh. “chose one mister, make our lives easier.”
his gaze flickers to yours for a brief moment to see you cupping your mouth, “okay..” he sighs, “two plates of carbonara-“
“that’s not on the menu.”
you choke on the water you had been drinking and heat him sigh out loudly, “just…just give us your best dish.”
“you want it as a pasta?”
“yes!” you answer instead of him, “just please bring us anything, we’re really hungry!”
“you guys are weird.” she says, and you nod.
“look who’s talking,“ seonghwa mumbles, a bit too loudly, wanting a glare from the waitress and a snort from you.
“where have you dragged me y/n.”
“to fun.” you answer, leaning back while shooting him a finger gun.
fun was surely delivered, especially when the waitress accidentally dropped the sauce on seonghwa’s sleeves and mumbled a “deserved it.”
or maybe how you two were left utterly surprised at how good the dish was, both your eyes widening dramatically. mumbling how good it was and how he underestimated and judged it before he had anything from here.
and the fun only exceeding when in the middle of your dinner date, the restaurant seemed to play some music that worked like crack on you two. you standing up mid-way of drinking a cola and joining the five others dancing in the middle.
the five others being, two staff members, one chef and another customer.
while seonghwa sat and ate his pasta, watching you from his seat with a smirk. eyes on your every move and it felt like the time had slowed down for him, the restaurants dark nature and red and yellow lights framed you perfectly in his eyes.
he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, seeing how you’d bite your lips and how your hands were in the air while you tried to mumble along the song.
he didn’t realize how long he had been looking at you that he didn’t notice you calling out for him, which he did shook his head at first but joined, nevertheless.
surpassing you by shaking his hips and leaving the others wide mouthed, all while his hands were on your waist, as if reminding everyone to not mess with you while you moved along the beat. he looked like the terrifyingly handsome man who was possessive over you, you liked that agenda.
before you two left, the waitress brought over a box of rings which made you squeal. “choose one for yourselves!” and then she explained how it was a side business and you immediately chose two.
One black and the other purple, simply because the two had the same design just different colors. One for seonghwa and the other for you.
“you two should put it on here!” the waitress said, ushering the two of you to exchange rings in the middle of the restaurants
which seonghwa surprised you with, gently holding your hand and slipping the ring on your forefinger while you smiled teasingly before doing the same.
When two of you left, it rained heavily. With no sign of a store nearby to grab an umbrella, you decided why not walk under the rain.
“y/n, you’re gonna get sick!”
“it’s worth it!” you yell back, twirling in the rain while he watched you from afar. though following you anyway, with a permanent smile on his face.
he thinks it’s the most he’s ever smiled, and it happened to be when he’s with you.
and then hears you sniffle, drenched from top to bottom yet a smile never left your lips. “cold?” he asked, and you nod, and then he removed his long warm coat to drape around your shoulders. “good?”
“great.” you answered, heart skipping a beat.
and if he thought you two would call it a day there, he was wrong. because you dragged him into a photo booth to take pictures, one where he stands stuff as a guard and their others where you forced him to make at least one face.
“put up a peace sign at least!” you whined your which he smiled at and did as you told, copying you and taking the pictures you wanted.
where in one you had your hands on his shoulder in the cramped booth, the two of you pushed up against one other. eyes staring into each other’s eyes while your breaths mingled, and if one move, he’d end up kissing you. and it’s not like you minded, noticing his blushing face whenever you were remotely two inches away from his face, you found it endearing.
and then you took him to a playground, thankfully which was near his place. challenging him for a round of basketball to which he shook his head at, “we should go back home now, y/n, it’s almost ten-“
“just one round.” you asked, holding up one finger with shiny eyes and he couldn’t help but nod.
though he beat you in every single round that was definitely more than one, you yelled at him to either “stop cheating!” followed by a gasp or a “i was too easy on you!” or “i let you win!” to which he’d teasingly nod his head at.
and now you two stood in front of his apartment door, “i asked boss if you could stay the night, he said only if you’re back early morning.”
you turn to him, “i don’t wake up before ten by the way!” and push open the door while he stands with his shoulders slumped before joining you inside and keeping a distance.
“sorry, my house isn’t as big as yours.” he says, rubbing the back of his neck, slightly embarrassed.
“i kind of don’t care?” you say, looking around his small living room with a smile. “now where’s the bathroom?"
he points to the right and you say a thank you before scurrying towards it, leaving him standing alone by the door with his hands in his pocket.
a sigh leaves his lips as he begins to take his coat off, the one that now smelled like you. but before he has the chance to hang it up, his hand rummages through the pocket to find a strip of photos you two took.
a smile forms one his lips unknowingly, staring at the strip where your lips made a pout and he tried to copy it or where you held up a peace sign and his eyes were on you.
he couldn’t recognize the stare he was giving you, but he knows it’s something he shouldn’t dwell on further, knowing it’s against the rules given to him.
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“you think he’d like this?” you ask, tapping your feet on the gravel repeatedly while looking at kai through the car window.
“you bought him the entire store,” he snaps his hand, “what makes you think he wouldn’t?”
you sigh and nod, leaning over the window and tapping the dashboard. “can you bring what i asked you in a while? i’ll text you okay?”
“got it,” he nods, pushing his glasses down, winking and raising his fist in the air.
with a smile, you grab the bags (in the hand that doesn’t hurt) from the backseat and take a quick look at the dark, cloudy sky and you know it’s about to rain.
“if i don’t text you,” you say, fishing your phone out to see the messages being sent in by hongjoong. “that means he said no.”
he nods and you turn around, holding the big bag in your right hand as kai drives his car out the driveway before you make your way inside the bodyguard quarters. hiding from the cameras you know your dad would be able to watch and you’d be done for.
the second you’re inside, a whole line of bodyguards stand at the lobby waiting for you with a grin. they bow in sync, and you stop them mid-way, “y-you don’t need to bow please!”
they all smile, and you return it awkwardly before asking where seonghwa was, and at the mention of him they all stand up straight. gulp and then point towards the left in unison.
you hold back a snort before nodding and running down the hallway, a soft smile on your face and a bag hidden behind your back. you walk, jog, run whatever down the hall until you’re standing in front of the room where hongjoong said seonghwa would be at.
with a long and shaky inhale, you lift your hand to wrap around the doorknob. but before that you press your ear up against the door, feeling your heartbeat increase with each punch you hear from the inside.
swallowing the lump down your throat, you twist the door open and step inside quietly. closing the door behind you, you’re welcomed to a dark room.
where in the middle shone a bright light, where you hear loud punches being thrown at a punching bag and you immediately know it’s seonghwa.
from the rough breathing and the groans, your insides coil up as you slowly step towards the light. and when you do, you’re able to see the back of seonghwa though the netted wall. he wears a black tank top, and your eyes can’t help but rake at his broad back muscles flexing with every movement he does.
with a small smile you begin to walk towards him, hoping he won’t notice you right away. you watch the way his hands move skillfully, how he stands in one place het completely demolishes the bag with a single punch.
his hair over his eyes, arms shining with sweat and jaw clenched you couldn’t help but feel your knees grow weak.  
his hand threw a loud punch at the bag, sweating and grunting with each movement before he finally stops. letting out a loud sigh and unwraps the white bandages around his fists, stretching his shoulders while he’s at it.
then he throws the bandages on the floor and turns around only to stop, “y/n?” he squeaks, eyes looking at you up and down as you walk in holding cake with a candle lit up in the middle.
“w-what are you doing he-“
“happy birthday mr bodyguard!” he hears you squeal as you walk closer to him holding the cake that he finally gets a full view of you as you come under the light singing the birthday song.
“happy birthday hwa.” you whisper, and his eyes grow wide and shiny and glassy. you walk closer with a growing soft smile, carefully reaching out to grab his wrist. “come sit first.”
“y/n..” he mumbles, and you smile, placing the cake box on the floor as you take a seat on the ground. “who…who told you?”
“hongjoong,” you respond, pushing the cake his way with a smile that he can’t help but want to see every day. “now, blow the candles!”
“you didn’t have to do this y/n,”
“who was going to then?” you raise an eyebrow, “they all told me you never celebrate your birthday, because you’re so stubborn and bossy and angry-“
he cuts you off with a deep laugh that makes butterflies gather in your stomach, “did they really tell you that?”
you shake your head, “no, just my observations.” he smirks, “i got a keen eye you know?”
“hm?” he teases before you push the cake his way, he grabs the plastic knife from your hand and leans forward.
“i haven’t formally celebrated my birthday in years.” he whispers, and you smile a little, “thank you."
hovering his face over the cake, he looks at you with a soft look and reaches for your hand gently. “do it with me.”
you frown, “no, it’s your birthday silly!”
he hears nothing but motions for you to come closer and you do, on a count of three the two of you blow the candle at the same time while he still holds your hand, occasionally rubbing his thumb over the top of your hand.
“happy birthday seonghwa!” you say once again, sheepishly bringing a small confetti popper out and popping it.
you expect it to rain confetti with a pop all over but all you get is seonghwa throwing his head back laughing, while all the confetti’s laying in your lap. you popped it the wrong way.
you bite your lower lip before gathering them in your hand and throwing the confetti in the air, it’s right then when time falls slow for him.
he watches the way colorful confetti fills the air and how your eyes glow at the sight of it, a smile one your face and it feels like you were the epitome of light for him.
a pot of honey, or an orb of light or what he hears people in movies call a euphoric feeling.
“thank you,”
it’s all he’s able to say because he’s so fixated on your tinted lips curling into never ending smile that makes his heartbeat ring in his ear.  
the more he looks at you, he feels like he’s in some cliché hallmark movie that wooyoung forces him to watch to experience affection.
he thinks he’s experiencing affection right now and he wishes wooyoung was with him but the other part of him wished he didn’t have him there, not because of his teasing but because he wanted this moment to himself.
where you feed him a piece of cake with a cherry on top, accidentally brushing your fingertips to his lips for a quick second to you sitting by him with a polaroid camera in front of him.  
the camera you’re barely able to hold properly because of your elbow, which he supports by holding the other side of the camera.
“say cheese!”
he doesn’t, but smiles either way which makes you snort and take the picture anyway. one where he holds the cake and the other where he’s midway of eating it, where his cheeks are full, and eyes are wide and shiny.
and as you’re about to move away, he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you close. close enough for you to be right in front of his face, tips of your noses touch. “where do you think you’re going?”
“nowhere.” you whisper, shakily. eyes on him but they keep flickering down to his lips.
“take a picture with me then,” he asks, searching your face as the light highlights it. the dark room where only you two are in, it feels as if you’re in the sets of the greatest showman. “…because i want to have a memory of you.“
“well, it’s not like i’m going anywhere,” you say cheekily and his smile falters for a second, but before you notice he shakes his head. “i’m still here, but! since i’m really nice we’ll take one.”
with that you sit by him, a little distance between you two that he notices and snakes his arm around your waist to pull you in closer.
“good?” he whispers down your neck, low and raspy that it sends a shiver down your body.
“good.” you whisper back, looking at the camera before lifting it up, barely, with your arm that is until he takes it from your hands and holds it in his.
he moves closer till your shoulder hit’s his chest and his chin is rests on top of your head, the action alone makes you want to curl in closer but it’s the thoughts in your head that stop you.
which to be fair, your thoughts are never ones that won’t end up on your tongue. which is exactly what happening in the next few moments that seem like the most aggravatingly slow moments.
“i like you.”
he snaps the picture.
you feel him stiffen up beside you and you closer your eyes, biting your lips and repeating you’re done for, you’re done for, you’re done for.
“i like you seonghwa.” you repeat and keep going until you know you’ll be regretting it. “i have for a while now….a-and i,” you clear your throat, “i couldn’t hold it anymore.”
“y/n..”
“i know! i know!” you quickly interrupt him, “you just think of me as your boss and all, which yes, go you! but…i know this sounds selfish but..”
“but?” he whispers, feeling his breath fan down your neck and it only makes you bite your lips more.
“i kind of, not kind of! but i did fall for you…it may sound selfish because you were just doing your job and…” you swallow, feeling tears prickle at your eyes at this confession even if it sounds so stupid. “…and i’m sorry for that but i really wanted you to be more than just my bodyguard.”
“i also know you won’t agree to it!” you explain, and he listens to it while staring down at you. “which is your decision and i respect that…but i really wanted to tell you this before..before it became worse.”
“why?”
your heart thumps against your chest at the silence, heart dropping to your stomach and palms growing sweaty.
“you’re comforting to be around,” you answer, looking down at your lap. “you do the smallest things, and it drives me crazy, i thought i was crazy at first…but the more i spend my time with you.”
“i was convinced i started to like you more than i had previously,” a sigh leaves your lips, as you mind plays flashbacks. “every time you’d walk by in that suit of yours,” you smack your forehead lightly at that. “god, i didn’t know someone could be that attractive, with that angry face all the time.”
“so yes…” you inhale sharply and make the mistake of looking at him, “i really do like you, not as a bodyguard…but more than that, gosh this feels so stupid to say..”
before he gets to answer, you’re already up on your feet. looking anywhere but him, “i..you can take your time to think,” he watches you step back, “i’ll be outside!” before you scurried away.
leaving a dumbfounded seonghwa with a small box in hand, a cake on the floor and a polaroid beside him.
“i like you.”
“shit.” he whispers to himself in the silence, fingers opening the box in his hands which reveals a wallet. his eyebrow furrow at that, “wallet?”
but then he remembers it’s the same one he was looking at the other day, where you two went out after your class and how you were asking him if he liked a certain item.
“shit, shit, shit.”
“i like you, more than just my bodyguard.”
he then runs a hand down his face, biting his lips as he pushes his hair back and looks down at the polaroid of you and him. he lifts his it up in his hands and stares at it.
a photo of you and him together, unlike all the photos he’s been in where you’re in the front beside your father and he’s in the far back.
your smile makes his lips curl into one, your cheek squished against his chest and his chin on your head, he sighs as he stares at it more.
“i did fall for you.”
he wished he felt surprised at what you had hold him, but on the inside he wasn’t. he felt like he knew it all along, how you felt and as the days went by and…he couldn’t help but be attracted to you too.
from your bright, cheery, and teasing personality that, at first, got on his nerves but now he can’t get it out of his nerves because he’s grown to be very fond if you as well.
and he knows he’s fond of you especially if he gets called out by wooyoung and hongjoong in the hallways, whenever you’d walk last him and wink at him it’s like they knew and teased him about it.
so, he then finds himself looking at the door, biting the insides of his lower lip he stands up and as he’s about to walk out the door with a smirk on his face, he remembers your father.
and all the blood from his face drains.
how can he betray your father like that? his hands fall down the doorknob as his heartbeat thumps against his chest. how can he go against your fathers’ rules? and fall for you?
“i like you seonghwa.”
“do not touch my daughter.”
“i like you seonghwa…more than just my bodyguard.”
how can he betray the hand that feeds him?
but can he betray his own heart like that?
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as seonghwa steps outside the back doors after getting looks of tease from the other guards, which he responds with a grim and stands by the front doors.
watching the rain fall and create mists all over, so much so that he’s barely able to see the back yard. he inhales before grabbing an umbrella, opening it with one hand while the other stays in his pocket where he had the picture of you two.
with only one thing in his mind, you.
at how he’s going to answer you, your dad and himself.
speaking of you, he sees you running towards him from the white mists in the dark night. at first, he squints his eyes to make sure it is you and not some newbie doing rounds around the place.
once you’re more visible to him, his heartbeat takes a sudden stride in speed as you run towards him, holding a bouquet of red flowers.
smiling brightly while you’re getting drenched in the rain, holding the bouquet to your chest as you step into puddles avoiding the rain.
and before he thinks ahead, he walks down the stairs. walking to you with an umbrella over his head, eyes stuck on you and hand holding the picture tightly.
you notice and run faster, breathing heavily. waving at him to which he just stares at you, and your smile falters.
a sinking feeling in your stomach grows as you come closer him, until finally you’re under the same umbrella as him.
“hi,” you breathe out, panting and clutching the bouquet in your wet hands.
he smiles a little, eyes flickering from your eyes to your hair that’s all wet to your lips that make him clutch the umbrella tighter. “hi.”
“i brought this for you too,” you point at the flowers and look up, holding them out towards you.
he says nothing but watches the way the light from behind him shines on your face. a singular ray of light perfectly halving your face, leaving one side bright and the other darker.
“….and i assume your answer is a, no?” he hears you ask, tilting your head just a little.
“i like you.”
“i like you seonghwa.”
“more than just a bodyguard.”
you smile a little, exhaling before nodding. “that’s alright,” you squeak out despite the heavy feeling in your heart.
“i hope you’ll be the perfect man for this job,”
“don’t disappoint me park.”
“i like you seonghwa.”
“…you can..just forget this ever h-“
but before you’re able to finish your sentence and say your prepared pre-break-up speech and him being able to articulate his thoughts. you’re cut off by seonghwa throwing the umbrella to the side and locking his lips with yours at a surprising pace.
you let out a squeal at the suddenness, but cave right in at his soft, plumpy and pillowy lips. your eyes fall shut slowly as a gasp of yours gets hushed by his lips that stay over yours for a second longer and then slowly start to move.
his arms sneak around your torso, pulling you in and the action alone makes your heart pound faster. he holds you impossibly closer, your hands falling flat against his chest as he balances you to him.
he pulls back shortly, resting his forehead on yours while his eyes are shut but his lips break out into a smile. the rain falls down on you two hard, but that’s the least of your worries, neither that or the possible stares you two are getting from the windows or the cctv camera’s.
“are you…”
“yes.” he whispers, opening his eyes to look at yours. “i like you too.”
you chuckle, “i was going to ask if you were dating anyone.”
he snorts, nuzzling his forehead against yours. “why?” pecking at the skin under your eye.
“i don’t like to share.”
he breaks out into a toothy smile, and it tugs at your chest, blinking away the rain on your eyelashes. “fortunately, the perks of working under your dad is that i never dated.”
you nod with a raised eyebrow, “guess that’ll change now, huh?”
he smiles, “i guess so.” and does that thing with his eyebrows, in that teasing singing tone that makes you look away.
when you look up, your eyes stop at his lips and just the sight of them makes you throw your head back and laugh. “what is it?” he asks, lifting his hand from your waist to your upper back.
you then lift your hand to wipe your face with your sleeve before looking at him, and then hook your sleeve to your thumb and point at his lips. “my lipsticks all on you silly.”
and as you’re about to swipe it off, he cuts you off in leaning in closer to kiss you all over again. but this time by deepening the kiss, a ray of butterflies fill your gut, and you wrap your arms around his neck.
the flowers long gone and now you two standing alone in the rain, umbrella on the ground beside seonghwa, flowers beside you and just the night falling on you two.
you feel him smile against your lips when you try to make a point about the flowers, “hey!” but he pays no attention and instead licks at lower lip, and you grant access by opening your mouth while smiling which he gladly takes and slips his tongue in.
your hands that rested on his neck now find playing with his hair, kissing him as passionately and intensely as he does. his hand travel down to behind your thighs, before he slightly lifts you off the ground, the sound of lips smacking against one another echoed slightly, but the rain overpowered it all.
the kiss is rhythmic, slow and stable at the same time. the one that makes your knees wobble and if it weren’t for him holding your waist, you probably- absolutely, would’ve slid down.
when he pulls back, both of you are breathless. panting as a string of spit connects you two, he leans in again and kisses you the same way he did before.
lifting his hand cupping your cheeks and kissing your gently until you whisper his name, and he slowly pulls back, his hair covering his eyes while his swollen lips match yours.
“we can’t let anyone find out about us.” you nod with a determined look. 
“especially my dad.”
“especially your dad.”
you chuckle, nodding before your eyes travel behind him and you laugh once again.
“wooyoung’s-“
“watching through the window, isn’t he?” he asks, wrapping his arms around you to pull you in his embrace.
you chuckle, looking behind him to see all of them pressed up against the window, cheeks and bodies all squished to get a look.
“mhm,” you smile, catching wooyoung’s wave with an overly impressed face. “he’s actually waving at you right now.”
“tell him he better run.”
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with the way your gala was being prepared, you would’ve thought it was some oscars. from dress’s to suits to decorations to gifts and to invites, it was all a mess.
and so were you and seonghwa.
a mess, trying to hide it all in front and behind your fathers’ sharp eyes.
you were sure you two would get caught in a matter of a few minutes, even seconds but were left utterly surprised when you realized it had been a little over a month since you two began your secret venture.
with holding hands under the tables and behind your backs, to sneakily escaping out at night to get your fair share of dates which one, were short but were worth it. any date or time you spent together only made you get to know him even better than before, which means you were in too deep for him.
it was evident on your face that you were so entranced by seonghwa, from having your elbow on the table and cupping your cheek while watching seonghwa explain something to your dad.
or watch him train the newbies, flipping them over in combat while wooyoung teased about seonghwa getting softer.
seonghwa’s usual ‘angry-young-man’ face was now switched to someone who couldn’t keep a smile off his face when you were in the room, which at times did get him in trouble.
“what’re you smiling at park?”
“n-nothing sir, just remembered a joke.”
which made you look away to hide a laugh, “oh? share it with us too.”
“dad!”
as for seonghwa, the teasing’s he gets every second were more than enough to get his feelings across. from getting shy to hiding his face in your shoulder whenever you tease him about it to doing an absolute 360 when the doors are closed.
so, you don’t know how a game of monopoly could lead into seonghwa hovering on top of you, thankfully, this time at his place.
“you’re in a hurry,” you whisper, raising an eyebrow teasingly to which he smirks at. “can’t guard me from you?”
“very much so,” he whispers, closing the space between his lips and yours and pressing them together gently. “you know sometimes…you talk too much.”
“yeah?” you say against his lips, “then…make me go quiet.”
you feel him smile softly in between the kiss that’s gone from sweet, slow, to faster but sensual. his hands slowly travel to yours, interlocking his fingers with yours he brings your hand above your head.
“i think,” he pulls back, forehead resting on yours and staring directly at you with a fond look. “i like you talking, especially right now.”
you hum playfully and he moves to place his lips on yours, lifting his other hand up to cup your cheek to deepen it. his warm lips melt over yours in an instant and it shoots butterflies in your stomach, squirming under him when he hums against your lips.
he pushes himself on you and your let out a muffled whimper, his tongue licks at your lips and his grasp on your wrist tightens. the sound of kissing echoes the room, and you grow impatient, lifting your head up to his to kiss back quicker, and more intenser.
he catches into that quick and whispers a “easy.” in between the kisses and it makes you fall back, he finds purchase in sucking on your lower lip in particular, that’s so soft that he lightly nibbles on it.
with a slight gasp that leaves you, he takes the chance to slip his tongue in. quickly exploring your mouth and you moan when he uses his teeth to nibble on your lower lip and it has you moaning and lifting your hips against him.
he nibbles and sucks and swirls his tongue over your lips, hands roaming everywhere and swollen, hot, swollen lips pecking every part of your face, neck and shoulders that makes you giggle as he does it repeatedly with a smile.
he sucks and bites and circles his tongue down your neck, sucking at a spot that has you hissing in pleasure. your hand still in his hold above your head while the other wraps around his shoulders.
when you two pull back, both of you are breathing heavily. panting his eyes looks at yours, and then down to your swollen lips. smirking he lays his lips over yours again, softly and it only lasts for a second before he pulls back.
“you think we’ll make it back to your place,” he mumbles lowly, caressing your cheek. “in a few?” his low tone sends a shiver down your spine, and you shudder.
“my plan was to stay in actually.” you whisper back, your fingers pushing his hair back.
his hand that held your hand up, trails down to  your waist, his fingertips dance over your clothed skin. you could feel the thudding of your loud heartbeat fastening, driving your knees weak when he looks at you with those sharp, and eyes that grew darker in a split second.
“…as much as i want to,” he whispers, leaning down to peck your cheeks. “we can’t.”
he hears you whine and leans down by your ear, “if we have time later on, and you’re not drunk-“
but you’re quick to shut up him by locking your lips with his, catching him off-guard. lifting yourself up and pushing him up by the shoulders, in a matter of seconds switching positions to seating as his back hits bedframe and you come to straddle his legs.
“in a hurry?” he whispers, a little out of breath and wide eyed, hands itching to hold onto the ends of your dress, it makes you rub your thighs together.
you smirk, “very.” and take his hands to your hips, “didn’t take you for someone who’d be slow.”
“oh yeah?” he asks, bunching your dress up to your waist before he leans down, pressing himself over you and earning a low mewl from you.  
“mhm,” you nod, hands lifting unbutton his shirt. “into vanilla?”
he smirks, “i’m into many things,” he lifts you up and you take the chance to wrap your arms around his shoulders, closing in on the distance between you two.
“at once or alone?” you tease.
his fingers fiddle with the strap as of your dress and you unbutton his shirt, and he chucks it away somewhere on the floor. “wait and see.”
with a smile, you run your forefinger down his chest until it reaches the very end, you lean forward peck his lips and then slowly start to grind on him. his hands immediately fly to your hips as he keeps them in one place and gives you a stare, and then returns the kiss.
the glint of darkness in his eyes makes your insides curl as he pushes your dress strap down, hands on your waist and eyes on you he can’t help but throw his head back and groan.
and you can’t help but find it attractive, you’ve been with people before who’d rather suppress their voices than to let them out fully. so, seeing him do so turns you on even more, enough for you to take the initiative and strip yourself off the dress, tossing it somewhere in the room.
his eyes land on your chest before looking at you, his grip on your waist tightening as you smile and push your hair to the side. “fuck,” he swears under his breath, and you hide back a smile and begin to grind against him.
he leans in to kiss you once again and it’s as if he can’t seem to get enough of you, his hands go from your waist to your breast, and he squeeze at them lightly. earning bite on his lips from you, “god damnit y/n,” he mumbles.
stopping everything to just look at you, from the way the little number of light shades over your face. how prettily your hair sits on your shoulders, how smooth your skin look and how beautiful it all feels to him. the stare in your eyes, playfully yet trusting and the bite you do to your lips that drives him crazy.
crazy enough that he pushes you back on the bed, earning a gasp from you when his lips  attach to your neck and fingers go straight to your clit.  
he smirks at the way you twitch, quickly capturing your lips again. not so sweetly this time as it gets messier, and faster as if he’s hungry along with his hard dick pressing in you, your hips arching to him as you begin to grind. lips never leaving the others, you two kept on going.
smiling and moaning in between the kisses, you pushing his hair back which makes him smile and squeeze your hips.
“seonghwa, p-please.” you say, his mouth moving down to your jaw to your neck and to your shoulders. knowing he’s leaving his mark on your skin and you couldn’t care less if anyone even found out.
you wanted him to mark you, and you made sure you told him that by responding to every single one of his touches. “you’re so pretty…i can’t believe you’re mine.” he whispers, nuzzling into you while whispering sweet nothings and cooing.
the sudden action making you bite your lips and throw your head back, feeling his hands come up to cup your breasts as he squeezes at them.
his lips curl up in a smirk, “you’ve been waiting, haven’t you?” he pauses to take in your face, the way your eyebrows touch and your mouth that parts a little. “to do this.”
“mhm,” you nod as he slowly brings his hand to your center, you back immediately arches to his hand, and he chuckles.
“how long?”
“since the day you became my guard.”
and with that he wastes no time to pull your panties to the side, finally pressing his slim and long fingers to your already wet self. the moment his fingers touch your clit, you shudder, and he gasps breathily.
he uses his middle finger to run a lap up your folds and you breathe in heavily, your hands now flat against his chest as he flattens his palm against your now needy clit.
his tongue pokes out his mouth, eyeing the way your lips let out sighs and how you close your eyes at the way he begins to move his finger in and out of you.
he slowly starts to insert his fingers inside you and your mouth hangs open, he sees your reaction and inserts another finger in. your body jumping in pleasure, and he quickly pecks your lips, “it’s okay.”
he hums when he runs the tip of his index finger over your already wet pussy before plunging it into your heat and you gaped at the intensity, buying your head seonghwa’s chest.
he slowly starts to move as you throw your part your legs open, he pumps in and out of you at a slow speed, then fastens it. breathy moans flee your pretty lips and it has him fastening his pace even faster, his lips remain attached to your neck while his slim and long fingers move at a fast pace.
you arch your back and move your hips along to his rhythm, “like it?” he mumbles, before delivering on an angle that as your entire body arching up.
“y-yes,” you breathe out, eyes shut.
your hand reaches for seonghwa’s free hand and guide him to your breast “y/n-“ his left hand rid to your left breast, kneading it softly while fingering your clit at different speeds and fumbling with that specific bundle of nerves harshly leaving you whimpering his name out loud.
“hm?” he hums, teeth grazing your skin.
“i’m close!” your eyes are shut tight and the heat coiling in your stomach becoming too much for you.
just as you say that he stops. you let out a cry in frustration and he smirks, “easy there ma’am,” you smile at the ‘ma’am’ “we’ve got a few minutes.”
you open your eyes gently to see him staring down at you, admiring you in a way no one has ever. his stare alone makes you look away and he chuckled lowly at that.
he then hovers over you, his chain hitting your face in the way, and he plants fleeing kisses all over your face, neck, and shoulders, you squirm and chuckle until he cups your cheek. “y/n,” he whispers, eyes looking at you longingly as tears pricks at your eyes. “i’m gonna go in, is that okay?”
you smile and pull him closer by the chain he has on, “i’ve been waiting hwa,” you whisper against his lips.
and then he does it again, inhaling sharply as he admires you. fighting the urge to let out a whimper and begins by pecking every part of you, humming with a smile whenever you run your fingers through his hair.
you hear him unbuckle his pants and it has you biting your lips, thought his eyes never leave yours when doing so. choosing to watch the way your face changes expressions, as if remembering it all as if you’d vanish, he slips his briefs off and his cock slaps his stomach.
his fingers hover over your clit before he slowly pushes them in, your head thrown back and your mouth letting out breathy and airy moans of his names that you’re sure his neighbors can probably loud and clear.
“y/n, please be quiet for me.” he warns but with no ill intent, instead it comes off as a whine in your ear as you bite your lips, arching your back to his fingers.
“no,” your whines don’t stop him from using his slim and long fingers to curl up inside you, his face hidden in your neck while he fingered your already sensitive clit from moments prior.
it’s then when he whispers that he’s about to go in and you cry his name out, the one that had his cock hardening.
“fuck, baby.” he lets out a whine when he eyes your state, “you’ve been a brat but i love it all.”
he then lines his tip, that’s already been coated in pearls of precum to your entrance. holding your hand in his while the other stays on your waist, he enters you, both your lips letting out gasps when you feel one another.
he buries his face in your neck as he starts to move, hearing your moans in his ear as you feel yourself stretch out at his length. he starts slow, as if testing the waters and then picks his speed up.
you let out high pitched yet breathy cries for pleasure and hold onto his shoulders, nails digging in his shoulders, body moving against the bed as he grunts and groans and grinds himself into you.
your head falls back, mouth hangs open as he starts to roll his hips into yours and you let out a cry that echoed the room.
“you feel so- god, so good.” you cry out as he continues to go at different speeds, the room filling with his own loud moans, groans, and growls.
“be quiet for me y/n,” he does a particular thrust that has you biting your lips. “can’t have the nei-“
“fuck your neighbors,” you manage to let out in the state you were in, “f-fuck me.”
he whines, the one that his eyebrows touching. “bossy much?” and chuckles cockily.
“f-fuck yes hwa,” your eyes roll back when he hits that certain spot in you, again and again, you let out a cry, throwing your head back on the pillow while releasing moans and whimpers of his name in pleasure.
he whines and groans into you when he feels you clench around him and he pounds into you again, fast, and hard and deep and you let a loud, pleasurable moan as the heat in you becomes unbearable until you both find yourselves coming down from your highs.
he carefully takes himself out of you and you wince at the sensitivity. sweat lines both your bodies, sex filling air and he slumps down on you, wrapping his arms around you with a peck to your forehead, nose and then he’s about to place on your lips that you pull him to you. burying your face in his chest, he chuckles.
“are you okay?” he asks, gently caressing your hair, he pecks your temple. feeling you hold him tighter, you two stay like this for a while, catching your breaths.
when you lift your head to look at him, “i’m impressed.” he looks at you with half lidded eyes and a boyish grin that makes your heart swell.
“already?” he mocks playfully with a scoff. “wait til-“
“-gosh, keep things a surprise, will you?” you groan, and he nods cutely while poking his tongue out.
it goes quiet for a while, just you to now lying beside one another. chests heaving up and down at a slow pace and your face now turning to his, “hey seonghwa.”
you hear him hum in response, “would you..actually never mind.”
“what is it?” he asks, turning his body towards you.
you shake your head, “c’mon, you’ve got me hooked now.”
“no, it’s just…i don’t think you answer it.” you mumble, sighing after that.
“i probably can’t unless you don’t tell me y/n,” he whispers, nudging your cheek with his nose. “what’s got your pretty little head thinking?”
you swallow, close your eyes, and blurt. “would you….go against my father for me?”
the silence that follows makes you smile a little, knowing the question you asked would be met with nothing but disappointment. “i told you, you wouldn’t be able to answer it.”
when you open your eyes, you find him staring at you with a look you can’t quite decipher, “i’m…”
“that’s fine.” you reassure, patting his chest a stiff grin. “you don’t have to say anything.”
“i don’t have an answer…” he inhales sharply, “just yet.”
you smile, nodding before laying down on your back. falling into yet another round of silence until he speaks.
“thoughts on a hot shower?” he offers, caressing your arms.
“yes, please!”
he lifts himself up on his elbows and holds you by your back, “come on lazy,”
you give him a soft grin, eyes threatening to fall into slumber that he shakes you gently. “don’t sleep on me sweetheart, we’ve got places to be.”
when you don’t respond or move, he stands up, hissing at the cold floor under his feet before lifting you off the bed. your eyes fly open, and a gasp leaves your lips, arms immediately wrapping around his shoulders.
with a laugh he walks to his bathroom, pushing the door open with his feet he turns the light on while you watch him with a grin. he then places you on the counter carefully, pecking your nose before stepping aside to grab a few towels.
just as he’s about to though, the bell to his front door rings. your eyes meet at that, almost as if asking each other who it was.
“oh! must be your neighbors.” you tease, and he chucks a towel at your face. “noise complaint perhaps?”
he shakes his head and looks out the bathroom doorframe with a small frown and then looks at you, “go in first, i’ll go see who it is.”
with that he shuts the bathroom door, grabs his pants and shirt, and hurriedly puts them on as the bell rings again. not once, or twice but thrice.
he doesn’t know why he his stomach drops as he walks closer to open the door, thinking it may just be one of the guys coming to get ready at his place.
with his hand on the doorknob, he hears you call out for him, and he twists open the door after unlocking it, expecting wooyoung or hongjoong at his door.
but what he didn’t expect was your dad standing at his door.
“join me for a walk, seonghwa.”
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everywhere you look it feels suffocating, the obnoxious colors of gold and silver blinding your vision along with the ample amount of people in this grand hall of yours. everything was overly luxurious to the point it might start to look tacky.
“you seem awfully distracted at your own celebration,” you roll your eyes at the obnoxious voice of kai. “where’s your guard?”
right, seonghwa.
you can’t find him anywhere, in fact this whole week he’s been absent or rushing somewhere.
“that’s who i’m looking for,” you respond, holding your wine red dress up as you walk past crowds giving you smiles with motives behind them.
you’ve been at this gala ever since it started, meeting people you’ve never seen before who offer or beg you to accept their son as your husband in exchange of power and protection.
you’ve successfully dodged every single one of their attempts, looking for seonghwa instead but you can’t find him anywhere. not even outside, not with hongjoong or wooyoung or even beside your dad.
you’ve sent him countless messages that are either not sent or turned green.
there’s an uneasiness beginning to settle in your gut, a worry of sort that you haven’t seen or heard from him ever since this gala started and it’s almost about to end.
you’ve barely touched the champagne in your hand, eyes roaming around countlessly trying to see just where seonghwa was. you walk past the lavish decorations, ranging from holds and silvers and flowers of all sorts to where you saw wooyoung lined up.
you see the way his eyes lighten up when you walk closer to him, his stiff posture faltering. “wooyoung.”
“hi y/- ma’am!” he quickly corrects himself quickly in a panic. “you look lovely.” he points, and you wave him off with a chuckle.
“have you seen seonghwa?”
“i was actually going to ask you the same,” he says, expression changing when he sees the restlessness on your face. “i haven’t seen him since morning, i figured he was with y-“
“-he isn’t,” you interrupt, fingers gripping the glass tighter as you look over your shoulder. your gaze falls straight on your father who’s busy talking to a number of investors with a laugh. “i’ll, i’ll go look don’t worry!”
with that you begin to walk towards your dad, eyes narrowing and forming into glares because you know your dad’s got something to do with this.
your glass finds itself placed on a waiter’s tray as he walks by as you make your way closer to your dad. your heels click against the marble and as you’re stepping closer, the crowd steps back until you’re finally standing in front of him with a smile.
“hi dad,” you sigh, looking beside him to see an elder man giving you a polite smile. “can we talk?”
“of course,” your dad gives the man beside him and a few others a look before turning to you, “excuse me gentleman.”
you father extends his arm to you, and you give him a stare before smiling stiffly, linking your arm with his before walking to a private space just near the end of the hall.
as you’re walking with your dad through the crowd, many give you two smiles and bows of respect. the action alone makes you cringe, and you look away, jaw clenching and unclenching until you two are finally out of everyone’s hair.
“dad,” you close the door behind you, arms crossing over your chest. “where’s hwa?
your father ticks an eyebrow at your mistake, “who’s that?”
you grit your teeth, “you know exactly who, don’t joke around like this.”
if anyone were to walk in right now, they’d be witnessing a stare down between the father-daughter. your eyes imitated his perfectly, the emotionless glare he sends your way with maybe, a little bit of warmth behind it.
“he’s seonghwa for you.”
“you don’t get to decide that dad.” you enunciate, standing tall now. “where is he.”
the man in front of you shrugs, “he’s at the countryside, doing a job for me.”
“oh?” you raise an eyebrow, “but don’t you usually send your bodyguards there?”
“what do you mean?” he narrows his eyes at you, a frown decorating his face now. “he is one of mine-“
“nuh uh,” you stop him, “seonghwa’s my bodyguard now, i get to decide where he goes and doesn’t.”
“in fact, you’d never send anyone of your men away when you know there’s an event!” you take a step forward, “you want the most protection at these things and sending seonghwa? the one with the most experience here away? just like that?”
“there’s certain things he needs to finish.”
“i don’t trust you,” you blurted, making him snap his eyes at you. “you’ve been having way too many emergency meetings with seonghwa…so much so that he’s barely around.”
“and why are you so worried y/n?” he questions, tone as if jabbing at you. “he’s just your bodyguard, am i right?”
you grow quiet at that, “he’s..”
“we have to keep this a secret.”
“he’s…my friend.” you respond, staring at your dad with a frown. “he’s someone i’ve begun to trust more than anyone in this house.”
“you can’t be friends with guards, they’re not on our level.”
you scoff, “have you gone crazy?” you ask, staring at him in disbelief. “what does that even mean!”
“it means you cannot have any relationships with guards,” he announces, staring into your eyes directly before looking away. “bodyguards are neither friends nor families…they’re just low lives.”
“don’t forget you started from there too dad,” you bite back, eyes now forming into an icy glare. “those low lives of yours put their lives on line for you, they get injured and worse, even killed because of you!”
“that is their job.”
“and yours is to respect them!” you yell back, appalled by this sudden change in your dad’s demeanor that you had never seen before.
“you like seonghwa.”
fuck the secret seonghwa, you think.
“i do.” you admit, voice shaky and you take a step closer. “i like one of your low lives, guess that makes me one too, am i right?”
you father says nothing, and you scoff, running a hand down your face frustratedly. “i like seonghwa- in fact…i’m in love with him.”
you see the way that makes him turn his head towards you, jaw clenching and you inhale sharply. “so, it’s either you watch your mouth da-“
“y/n!” his yell echoes the room, and it makes you wince, “i don’t care if you’re in love with him, break it off.”
“you’re my heir, you can’t be around anyone like him.” he retorts, crossing his hands behind his back. “you inherit this mafia whether you like it or not y/n.”
“i-i don’t want to dad.”
“your brother can’t,” he mumbles, and you realize that now, “you don’t have a choice in this, the day i die…everyone will come to kill you.”
you scoff, hands now behind your back. “break everything off with him, it’s what he’d want as well.”
“you don’t know what he wants!” you grit out, your breathing picking its pace up.  “you don’t know what anyone wants! you just know what you want and what you want others to do for you.”
“seonghwa does not want anything to do with you,” he says, eyes flickering from yours to the window just to the left of the room. “not anymore.”
“i don’t believe it.” your voice drops to a whisper, “not until i hear it from him.”
with that you turn around, hand hovering over the doorknob as your hand begins to shake a little. you then look over your shoulder, seeing how your father doesn’t even spare you a glance but instead looks out the window with a grim.
with a slight shake of your head, your fingers grasp with the doorknob. twisting the door open, just enough for light to hit your face that you father speaks again, and you wish he hadn’t.
“either break up with seonghwa or get on the flight tomorrow morning.”
your heart sinks to your stomach, a shiver running down your body. a spite of sorts forming in you against your father, who once was all your world, someone you believed every word off.  
your ears hear the party outside and at the same time hear the pin drop silence in the room behind you, your eyes fall over the happy faces of the guests, and you look back.
hoping your father would laugh and call it all a joke but all you get is nothing, that alone makes tears form in your eyes and before you let it escalate further, you walk out.
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the second you walk out of your house, you burst out into tears. finding a bench just to the far right of your place, you take a seat in the cold alone.
your eyes wander off into the sky, hands wiping the tears streaming down your face uncontrollably. your body then hunches forward, hands holding your head as you shut your eyes.
“break it off with seonghwa.”
“it’s what he’d want.”
“they’re just low lives.”
as sad as it all was, it couldn’t get more beautiful than it already was. with the way the bench was positioned almost directly in front of the big window that shone and showed the bustling party inside.
the pity party your father hosted yearly, this time for you.
“would you go against my father?”
it almost makes you want to laugh, a privileged story of yours where you fall for the forbidden.
it felt like seonghwa was the forbidden fruit you were never allowed near, yet you chose to be nearby. in some sick twisty way, if felt like a way to get back at your father.
you knew if anyone else had found out about this, they’d laugh and call it a ‘sad story’ and then continue on with their lives. seonghwa was the only one who affected you this much, in a way it opened your eyes.
but even on the inside, you knew no one would accept this. this taboo thing they’d call it, having a relationship between the boss and the worker. and as much as everyone else would hate it, you wouldn’t.
you shake your head, pushing your hair back and leaning back on the bench. leaning your face upwards you find yourself staring at the sky, breeze hitting your face and it makes you smile a little.
you stay still for a while and your mind automatically goes through a reel of memories.
“aren’t you supposed to my bodyguard?”
“and aren’t you supposed to be asleep?”
“call me y/n.”
“yes, ma’am.”
“you’re my bestest friend, you know?”
a sigh leaves your lips, and you reach out for your phone, unlocking it and only to be welcomed with a zoomed in photo of seonghwa standing in his bodyguard outfit.
the image alone makes you laugh through your tears, and you dial seonghwa’s number, biting down on your lip you lean back. lifting the phone to your ear, you close your eyes as the ringing echoes in the silence.
your heart rate picks up as the anticipation of hearing seonghwa’s voice increases and it’s as if right on that moment, your body jolts up when you hear his monotone voice.
“hi! this is seonghwa..” and it goes straight to voicemail.
you bite the inside of your lower lip, bringing the phone down slowly and pressing the red button before placing the phone beside you upside down.
“y/n.”
all you can do is hum, gaze looking ahead into nothing with a blank stare. that is until, footsteps walking through the grass make your ears perk up.
if this was an assassination attempt, it would’ve been successful because you did not move from your spot.
“it’s me, your fav- actually second! favorite person.”
“go away kai.”
he smiles, looking around before taking a seat beside you loudly. arm over your shoulders and a reassuring grin on his face, “what’s up!” he beams, looking all over your face.
“you didn’t like the food inside?” he asks, “they had caviar-“
“kai,” you begin, turning your head towards him and he catches the tiredness on your face. “what would you do…”
“i’d go eat fir- ow!” he whines at the slap you gave his arm, “fine, fine, shoot away.”
“what would you do if…if you were given the option to either break up or leave.”
kai smiles, the one with his cheeky dimples and he leans his head back. “i’d fight.” eyes on the sky.
“kai.”
“i mean i would!” he argues, “if that was my last resort, i’d fight for the one i love, you know?”
“as cliche as it sounds, loving someone isn’t a crime. if you love someone, why are you afraid, haven’t you heard?”
“what?”
“people can fight wars just for love,” he looks down at you, lifting his hand to pat your head twice. “look if love was a driving force, i’d have no license.”
he then turns his body towards you, “you want seonghwa more than you thought you did, so what if he’s not your dad’s ideal choice- he’s your choice isn’t he?”
but what if you’re not seonghwa’s choice?
you nod, “…but dad.”
“you know,” he shuffles on his seat, “for a moment, your dad doesn’t exist. what will stop you from him?”
you share a look with kai, swallowing before looking down. “see? no one, kill your da-“ you smack his arm again with a glare and he pokes his tongue out at you.
“seonghwa does not want anything to do with you…not anymore.”
with a sigh you pat his hand, “thanks kai,” standing up and holding your dress up. “if my dad suddenly dies, i know who did it.”
he says nothing but shoots a finger gun at you with a grin, “i’m,” you point at your house. “gonna go inside.”
“already?” he asks, looking behind you. “you don’t wanna say hi to seonghwa?”
“he’s at the countryside.” you mumble, shoulders slumping and eyes squinting at the window behind.
kai stands up, placing his on your shoulders before turning you around. leaning down and then pointing at the front door, “your boyfriends waiting outside silly.”
your eyes grow wide, heartbeat picking up as you look through the iron rods of the gate to make out a silhouette kicking rocks.
and before you know it, you’re running down the path to him. a smile on your lips growing with every step you take towards him, and when you’re finally nearing the gates, you can make his outline out much better.
he’s dressed in a regular suit, but he looks better than anyone at this party. hair slightly disheveled, tie a little loose and hands holding something.
“hwa!” you yell, catching his attention with your voice and the wave of your hand.
once his eyes fall on you running towards him, his lips crack into a smile. hand lifting automatically to wave back, “y/n!”
“hi,” you pant, stopping just before the gates that you now know is locked. “sorry..the door is locked for some reason.” you say in between catching breaths.
“hi y/n,” his voice alone makes you melt, your eyes look at him and they almost tear up. “you look stunning.” he manages to let out, looking at you up and down he wished the door wasn’t dividing you two, so that he could at least hold you.
“why aren’t you inside?”
you smile, “because…i saw you here.”
he returns a soft smile before shoving something in his pocket and walking closer, but since the gates were closed, he could only walk until his chest hit the gates. instead, he extends his hand out for you to take.
which you do, with an excitement because after the talk with your dad and not seeing seonghwa, something in you wanted his reassurance.
“can we talk?”
your smile falters a little, holding his hand. “o-of course.”
“actually, u-uh, at first.” he fishes through his pocket and pulls a small rectangular box out. you’re unable to see it properly due to the streetlight being away from where you stood and the front gates light that kept flickering. “i got this for you.”
he extends the box towards you from the slim space between the iron rods, you reach out for it with a smile and opening it gently. your mouth parts in a gasp, “oh my god, seonghwa…”
he smiles under the light, “do you like it?”
you nod, looking down at the box you held that had a small silver chain in it. a small ruby red bead as it’s pendant, “i love it! are you kidding?!”
“where…how did you get it?”
he rubs the back of his neck, eyes not meeting yours in what you can only is assume is his shyness. “i saw it on my way back here…i was a little late wasn’t i? you’ve bought me plenty of stuff..so it was only right for me to get you something.”
“you didn’t have to,” you mumble, fingers caressing the chain. and then you look up, “what did you want to talk about?”
“ah,” his face drops, eyes meeting the ground.
“i want to talk about us.”
you smile a little, closing the box before giving him your attention. “of course, w…what did you want to talk about?”
“y/n, don’t you think,” he swallows. “we…we should just remain as friends?”
“w-what?” your voice cracks.
his eyes remain glued to the ground, “we shouldn’t be together.”
“it’s dangerous for us to be together.” he mumbles, fingers now wrapping around the rods tighter at the silence. “if anyone found out about us, you could be in danger.”
“did my dad tell you to say all of this?” you ask, feeling your stomach churn. “you don’t have to listen to him seonghwa-“
“no.” he answers, “this is what i think...what we have should’ve never happened in the first place.”
“we are two different people, classes, professions, personalities…everything!”
“why does that matter...” you whisper, “why does it all matter when i don’t care for it, w-why?”
“i’m sorry but,” he looks up, eyes meeting your teary ones and he hears a crack in his voice. “it does matter, when i’m someone you shouldn’t even be friends with, you’re meant for the riches..we aren’t meant to be.”
you feel as if the world has slipped from under your, trying to understand what’s happening around you or what he’s saying because it all sounds unreal.
“i thought that maybe this would last a month,” he whispers, his knuckles growing whiter at the grip he has on. “but it’s only grown ever since.”
“i-i never expected us to go this far, with each day that does by...i can’t help but think we’re not meant to be.” he mumbles, and you feel your heart drop to your stomach, “you’re my boss’s daughter and i’m just worker.”
“seo-“
“i can’t live up to your standards y/n,” your tears that welled up in your eyes are now rolling down your cheeks. “i don’t have a proper house, i don’t even have enough money to keep you happy…”
he looks at you, his own eyes glassy. “i have nothing y/n, i’m nothing.”
“are you done?” you ask, voice just above a whisper and his heart sinks at how frail you sound.
“y/-“
“you’re everything to me.” you whisper, your hand reaching out to hold his, tears streaming down your face. “you’ve been more than anything to me, i don’t care for what you do for living or if you have the money or not, i love you god damnit!”
he clenches his jaw, eyes wide at your words. “you’ve been there for all the times i needed you, you know me more than i know myself! how can you say that..seonghwa please, please don’t listen to my dad.”
he hears you sniffle and looks away, “y/n, please.”
“no seonghwa,” you say, voice shaky and low. “i..i thought you liked me for me.”
“you out of everyone knows how much i hate when my dad controls everything about me,” you inch closer, eyes on him. “so..why? is it because he did everything for you?”
“n-“
“is it because you can’t go against him?”
“i..i,”
“i, what!” you raise your voice, “i don’t believe anything you’re saying!”
“…i like someone else.” he says, voice nothing but a whisper.
“w-what?”
he nods, eyes on the ground. “i like someone else y/n.."
what he says is something you wished he never said, maybe even kept it as a secret. “i don’t trust you.” you bite back, and you wish he’d look you in the eye, just once to say he’s lying. “you’re lying and you know it.”
but instead, he shakes his head, “i’m not lying y/n.” and it makes you swallow the warm, painful lump in your throat.
“you’re not even looking me in the eye,” you whisper, “please don’t do this seonghwa…we’re so good together, you know that too.”
“we were never good together,” he replies, running a hand down his face and you know he’s biting back tears with the way he bites his lips. “i found someone who matches me.”
“someone who isn’t like you.”
you shut your eyes, jaw clenching and unclenching as a pounding headache begins to from in your head with all the tears framing your face.
the wind now feels more colder, it feels as if it’s slapping you in your face. your hair stands moving along it as you listen to his calming voice tell you stuff you’ve never wanted to hear.
“call me y/n.”
“yes ma’am.”
“s-someone who matches me well.”
“i was going to ask if you were dating anyone.”
“why?”
“i don’t like to share.”
“someone quieter, not loud or annoying-“
“…you found me annoying?” you ask, and he inhales sharply at that. “and loud?”
“go on,” you urge, a small smile on your face despite the obvious. “what else did you find me?”
“i-i didn’t mean it like that-“
“what else is she like?” you swallow, “quieter? has more manners? isn’t childish? hates the riches? hates flowers? is the better version of me?”  
“she’s everything i’m not, am i right?” you ask, hand falling to your sides. when he doesn’t respond, a bitter smile makes its way in your lips. “…hm, then she must be great.”
“y/n,” he whispers, and you take a step back, the action makes his heartbeat ring in his ears. “i didn-“
“didn’t what?” you ask, face holding no expression. “didn’t want to hurt me?”
when he nods you breathe loudly through your nose, a hand running through your hair frustratedly. “you know dad didn’t want me to be with you…” you begin, “i told him otherwise, he said you never wanted anything to do with me..i said i wanted to hear that from yo-“
“i don’t want anything to do with you.” he whispers, and you hear the way he says that. full of nothing, no emotion or anything.
you smile despite the tears blurring your vision, “right.”
it goes quiet for a while, just the two of you standing in silence. him on the other side of your house while you stand behind the gates, it described you two perfectly.
seonghwa and you were two different people who never stood on the same level, everything your dad said echoed in your mind.
“that’s their job.”
“they’re not on our level.”
you want to yell and scream and cry at him, tell him that’s not the case. to beg him that, that’s not the case.
“d-did you mean everything you said?” you ask, in some way hopefully that he’s lying to you, that he’d tell you the truth.
“everything.” he says.
you nod shakily, exhaling before looking over your shoulder. “every…every date meant nothing?”
“n-nothing.”
“every gift?”
he nods.
“and that red pendant?”
he nods again, though, slower.
“okay,” you say, nodding before turning around. back facing him and it’s one thing you thought you’d never do or be driven to a point where you had to.
you begin to walk away from, leaving him standing behind the gates. eyes on the ground and never lifting up, even if he wanted to. hiding his own emotions he turned around, back pressed against the iron gates.
“take a picture with me then…because i want to have a memory of you.“
“well, it’s not like i’m going anywhere, i’m still here, but! since i’m really nice we’ll take one.”
“a memory,” he scoffs to himself, head leaning back on the gates as he closes his eyes. “a stupid memory.”
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five years later.
the day you’d come back was one your father truly looked forward too, with the tearful sending that was laced with hatred and anger. he wished for your safety above all, and on top of the above all, he wished for the safety of everyone inside this house.
those who now scurry around cleaning the house meticulously, mumbling to each other in panic, hurry and almost a fearful turn.
it’s like everyone knew when the announcement of you would echo across this building, a wave of silence would follow.
a silence full of fear.
with the way everything happened years ago, they knew you wouldn’t return the same.
maybe that’s what their fear was.
“i told you to not go in her room!” your father yells, a cough following suit.
“y-yes, sir!”
with a temporary grim on his face, he walks around, hands behind his back as he watches the cleaning, redecorating, rebuilding of his house. in his heart, preparing for you to grace his eyes.
“yunho, mingi,” he turns around to face the new set of guards that were recently employed. “have everyone line up by the entrance tomorrow, put on your best suits as well.”
“we will sir,” they both say in sync, bowing to their boss that is until, mingi, the dark blue haired one pops a question. “but why the suits, sir?”
“my daughter is picky.” your father answers, swallowing a little.
they both bow once again, “we’ll keep that in mind, enjoy your time with miss tonight.”
“oh and,” he stops them, “send seonghwa to my office.”
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“we’re very excited to have you back, boss is putting on his best for you!” the driver says, looking in the rear mirror to see you staring out the window. “w-“
“put the partition up.”
he stiffens, swallowing before complying and putting the divider up. isolating you to the backseat and him to the driver side, your eyes meet his as the wall levels up before they move out the window.
coincidentally at the moment where your house was in view, your eyes land on the ever so prestige estate that you left years back. before you used to have a love-hate relationship with this place, where you were sheltered and hidden away from everything.
where you experienced your first and last of everything.
now coming back to it felt, empty but comforting. comforting that you were finally home after years of being lost and thrown into the world you never wanted.
when you left, you were devastated because of everything. you never wanted to come back, never wanted face anyone. but you knew you had to come back, so you became the person you never wanted to become in the first place.
opening the door to your maybach, you step out. your heel clacking against the pavement as you do so, grabbing your bag you shut the door behind to look at your house.
a scoff leaves your lips as you look over it, eyes wandering to every corner until they stop at your balcony. and you remember how you used to sneak out nights through there, falling and hurting yourself one second and the other being bombarded with the dogs.
you then turn around to look at the iron gates and your smile drops.
“d-did you mean everything you said?”
“everything.”
“ma’am, your father’s waiting inside.” you snap back to reality and inhale, “this way.”
with every step you take towards the entrance, your heartbeat increases. mentally preparing yourself to see everything and everyone after years.
but when your eyes land at your living room, they widen in disgust as you step inside your place, seeing the outrageous decorations hanging around at your arrival. “w-what’s going on?” you ask the driver who looked at it all with the same look as you.
“i…i don’t know ma’am,” he stutters, and you shake your head, “but your father,” he points to your right. “this way.”
you nod, following behind him while your eyes look all over. as if they’re trying to find someone while you heart wants you to look away in case you do see that someone, but you’re glad you only see a handful of maids working around.
who, at your appearance gasp and bow. “welcome back ma’am!”
to which you’d respond with a small smile, ducking your head down and following the driver who walked you through your own home. what a day it has come you think.
“he’s sitting here for the day,” you smile and bow at the man who now leaves you alone, standing inside your dad’s outdoor study.
“y/n, my dear, you’re back.”
you hear his raspy voice tickle your ear and it’s been years since you’ve heard him, sure the occasional phone calls were present, but you’d hang up whenever you’d hear anyone else in the background.
“father.” you say, hands in front of you. watching him spin on his swivel chair, dressed in hoodie that says something about your brother’s university. you find your cat nestled just beside him on the cat bed and it makes you smile a little.
“y/n,” he lifts his arms in the air, getting up from his beloved chair and walking towards you with a smile.
you manage to smile a little, retuning his hug half-heartedly before he offers you to take a seat, which you do as if you haven’t been on a flight where you sat for hours straight.
“how have you been?” he asks, pouring you tea from the fine china set you know your mom bought at an auction.
“good.” you keep it short, eyes wandering the sunroom study of his. “did you renovate it?”
“you know your mom and her tendencies,” he replies, sliding you the cup which you quietly take.
“where is she?”
“yearly trip to the maldives with her friends,” you nod, impressed by it slightly, maybe even jealous that she gets vacations while you stay here and deal with your dad.
“how have you been y/n,” he asks again, getting comfortable in his chair as you cross your legs, stirring the tea slightly.
“i already answered that, father.”
he nods, “are you still upset?”
“over what?” you sip, eyes falling over him.
“five y-“
“yes,” you respond quickly, “very, actually.”
you hear him sigh as you sip on the tea more, raising your pinky. “right, well, your rooms the same as before.”
you nod, placing the cup down and facing him. “you’ll be looking over the guards tomorrow.”
“for?”
“to have your own private ones,” he says, coughing a little. “like i did. you’re now what i used to be so it only makes sense for you to have everything now.”
“everything?” you tick an eyebrow, “i have a request father.”
“go on.”
“please stop controlling me from now on,” you mumble, “i am capable enough to make my decisions, in fact, i was since the beginning.”
“as you wish.”
“don’t question my decisions,” you stand up, bowing your head. “and for the guards, i don’t need them.”
“y/n.” ah, there it was, that tone he uses on you when he’s about to scold you. “my last decision in your life is for you to have private guards.”
“the last decision of yours ruined me father,” you say, voice monotone. “and i don’t wish for it to happen again.”
“this decision won’t y/n,” he argues, thought his voice doesn’t raise. “you’re going to have new guards, and that is done. tomorrow meet me at the foyer, everyone will be there.”
everyone.
you scoff, “quit it dad.”
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your dad didn’t quit, in fact he pestered you into following him out to the foyer. after him basically dragging you out of your room, which one, you barely got to step a foot in and two, barely got you enough sleep.
“can we hurry this up?” you ask, irritated already with waking up early since your jet lag is still so strong. “i need a few hours to myself.”
“hm,” he says, walking a few steps ahead before pausing and you feel your heartbeat begin to accelerate. “everyone, meet my daughter y/n.”
“it’s lovely meeting you ma’am.”
“i’m to be by your side whenever you go out at all times, it’s nice to meet you ma’am.”
you watch them all bow in unison, and you give a small, awkward smile. ignoring the obvious faces from the past who look at you with shiny eyes, which almost make you crack.
“as you all know," your father announces and you stand behind him, feeling stares burn through you. “my daughter here requires a private unit to be by her at all times, i have seen your progresses over the month and selected a few of you alr-“
“i’ll decide my own guard’s father,” you interrupt him, making the hall get quiet. “at least, let me do that.”
he gives you a quick look before nodding, and you come to stand in front of the two rows of guards. “being my guard isn’t easy.” you mumble, “and if you’re not up for it, you can leave to your daily routines.”
you look around and when no one moves, you smirk. “alright,” you look to your left, extending your hand out to your dad. “their files.”
“here,” he grins, pointing behind him and you see a mountain of them being held by a worker.
just the sight of it gives you a headache, “forget it.” and you walk down the line.
eyes squinty as everyone straightens up, standing tall and feet apart, hands neatly folded behind their back. your heels click against the marble flooring as you walk down the first line, eyeing every single one of them who either display no expression or get taken aback.
“you,” you say out loud, pointing your hand at the guy with blond hair standing at the very end. “come here.”
“sweetheart, he’s a newbie.” your father whispers to you and your eyes keep looking at the blondie walking to you with a shy smile.
“that’s alright dad,” you reply, eyeing the man up and down. “people can learn along the way.”
but there’s a man standing at the far end of the second line, gritting his teeth and clenching his jaw. that’s all too familiar to you, from the black outfit, the sharp undercut and the annoyingly stunning side profile that makes you want to yell.
though he grits his jaw, he catches onto the new you. how you’ve changed, no longer the bright and cheery y/n but a colder, monotone-voiced y/n. and he can’t help but blame himself for it. 
“it’s like you’d be protecting him more than he’d be protecting you.” he whispers, eyes forming into glares as he watches the newbie walk towards you, knowing he isn’t half as qualified to be your guard and knowing you’re outright ignoring him.
“name?”
“choi san.”
you nod, “good, you’re hired.” and you turn around, “any objections, father?”
“y/n-“
“i object.”
your eyes immediately find your dads when you hear the new yet familiar voice, “i do too-“
“my decision is made, choi san-“ you look over your shoulder and you make an eye contact with two tall guys at the end. “and you two twin towers at the end, you’re hired.”
“sir, if i m-“
you lift a hand, “ah, my decision is mine.” and you look back at the front. “anything else?”
“i’d like to object.” this time you hear footsteps coming closer and it makes your heart drop to your stomach.
you feel a presence behind you before you hear that increasingly familiar deep voice.
“the three you have chosen, ma’am.” you shut your eyes at the familiar voice filling in your ears. his presence behind you, with that deep, soothing, and calm voice that now sounds rigid and demanding. “won’t be able to guard you, it’s like you’d be protecting the guard more than they would.”
“the new recruit line is barely halfway through basic training ma’am,” god, that ma’am. “i strongly advise picking someone else as their skill sets are nowhere near qualified to be guards right now.”
you raise an eyebrow and slowly open your eyes, seeing everyone in the lines stiffen up. and for the first time, you turn around to look that voice in the eye and dare question. “and you are?”
jaw locked, hair brushed back with one strand falling over his forehead, eye that darkened ever so slightly, hands neatly behind his back. just being in his presence makes your breathing waver but looking directly in his eyes makes you want to cry.
“park seonghwa.”
“seonghwa,”
“seong! hwa!”
“hwa!”
“seong-seong!”
“and who do you advise i pick?” you ask, voice shaky.
“i have almost a decade of experience working under your father and being a protector of your family...” he inhales, patting his chest and you catch the sight of a black band on his ring finger, and it makes you look away. “and a few of those years were as your own bodyguard, ma’am.”
“and?”
“i believe my skills are far better than anyone here, it’ll only be more advantageous to have me as your bodyguard...” he pauses, looking over your face for a second longer. “again.”
“my bodyguard?” you ask, eyebrows shooting to your forehead. “and yet i was still in life threatening positions with you, wasn’t i?”
“i-“
“zip it.” you look behind him, eyes forming into slits. “you three, office now.”
“yes ma’am.”
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“y/n, seonghwa was right!” you hum mindlessly, playing with the food on your plate.
“i agree.” you roll your eyes at kai’s appearance, sitting on the big dining table with you and your dad and two cooks at the far end.
you then turn to your left, “you’re suddenly praising him?” you pique, looking down at your dad with a suspicious look. “wasn’t he your low life?”
“you called him a low life!?” kai yells, his plate clacking as he stood up and you wave him off.
your dad grows quiet at that, “…i didn’t mean to say that y/n.”
you stop midway, “really?” you ask, “i don’t trust you.”
“there’s a lot of things i regret doing y/n,” he says, placing his fork and knife down. “but i had reasons for it.”
“and what were they?”
you dad looks at kai and he takes the memo to leave, although, a little late, but he does. leaving you and him alone in the room, him at to your left. just the talk with him has a sinking feeling growing in your stomach, jaw clenching and unclenching before exhaling.  
“for you to take over his family, you needed no distractions.” he begins, hands folding in front of him. “and if you kept them, my family would’ve been gone.”
“distractions?” you mock. "sending me to your fucking training academies where they beat the shit out of you? that? that’ll help me take care of this family?”
“as bad as it sounds, it works y/n.” he explains, looking over your face for a few moments and seeing a small scar under your eye and dread washes over him. “i was sent there, it worked for me- i had to send you there.”
“or you’d send your youngest,” you bite back, a slight tick in your jaw. “but i wouldn’t have let that happen. even if i have stated how rotten your business is and how much i hate it, i couldn’t escape it.”
no matter how much you’d want to blame your father for everything, you knew he did it for you. but you still have bitter feelings about the way he did it all, yet you’re unable to tell him. being rasied in this environment, you were bound to do this. 
“i still can’t and will not drag him in it,” you refer to your sibling, because he gets scared shitless from the sight of ladybugs. you couldn’t possibly see him fighting for his life. “he’ll never be involved in this business, no one after me will take this place.”
“i will not operate this mafia like you did,” he nods, “if i have the chance to end this, i will and you will not stop me.”
“i won’t.”
“i want to end this.” you mumble, jaw relaxing and eyes falling over your father who looks at you with regret, maybe even shame if you look in too deeply. “i will end this mafia, i want a normal life.”
“you wouldn’t have gone if i never did that y/n..” you scoff. 
“i’m sorry for all that y/n,” he mumbles, placing his hand on top of yours. “there is nothing i can say but sorry, if i hadn’t done this, i would’ve lost you all.”
“and to keep you, my family alive.” he taps your hand twice, "i can do anything.”
“ev-“
“even send you there, yes.”
a scoff leaves your lips, “that’s a really shitty excuse, dad.”
he smiles and for the first time since you’ve arrived it feels genuine, “well now you can beat me up for it, pow pow!”
“stop, ew.” you cringe, and he chuckles, drowning down water as you shake your head.
“and what about seonghwa,” he asks the second his glass touches the table.
“nothing about him.” your tone is dismissive, and he picks up on it, growing a little because seeing this side of you, he can’t help but blame himself for that.
but he knows if anyone was to bring your old side back, it’ll only be in the hands of seonghwa. who, he knew, would give him trouble one day.
“you’re not going to meet him or talk to him?” the elder presses further, mind spewing up some way to get you two to talk or exchange a hi’s or hello’s or how was your days.
“no.” you respond, placing the cutlery down and promptly being reminded of that ring on his finger.
“i like someone else.”
“he offered to be your guard again,” you hum, eyes on the plate with an empty expression. “i agree with him, he is qualified and has been  your bodyguard before too-“
“dad,” you interrupt, pushing your chair back and tapping your feet on the ground. “you know exactly what happened, what you did and how it went down.”
“but you should talk to him,” he says, eyes following you. “he’s…he’s got a lot to say-“
“i’m not interested in talking to him or having him as my bodyguard again.”
and with that you take your leave, walking out the door with shaky hands and when you begin to walk down the hallway. you abruptly stop at the scene of seonghwa and kai standing in front of you, their heads turning to you in sync.
“y/n.”
“ma’am.”
“i told you my name’s y/n.”
“goodnight.” you mumble, eyes looking everywhere else but the larger man in a suit.
“y/n!” kai calls out, a small smile on his face as he watches you try and escape this situation knowing full well that’s the last thing you’d want.
“how about,” he looks at seonghwa, who’s eyes never leave you even if you don’t look at him. “you two old friends catch up?”
“uh, kai i-i have to leave,” you stated, giving kai a nasty glare. “i’m tired and i need sleep.”
“just ten minutes.”
you freeze at his voice, calm yet eager. “can we talk just for ten minutes?”
kai gives you an encouraging smile and you turn to him, stopping when your gazes meet.
his eyes still looked the same, wide, shiny, and endearing. the ones that still made you want to run in his arms, stare into for hours while he holds you to his chest and nuzzles into you.
“i..i don’t have time right now,” you answer, looking at kai tight smile. “tomorrow, let’s do that tomorrow.
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you knew you shouldn’t have come back because all you see is seonghwa everywhere, you had hoped he quit his job, so you didn’t have to face him, and he didn’t have to work under your dad.  
every time you walk down a hallway, you’re always greeted with him walking past you. and it reminds you of all the times you had been with him, whether it be chasing him down hallways or to walk behind him whining something about the defense lesson.
at that time, you would’ve never thought any of this could be possible, he didn’t think it would be either.
he didn’t think not seeing you every day for the past five years would hurt him as much as it did, or how not seeing or hearing you would become a routine he’d have to force himself to fit in.
so, when he was called in by your father in his office, the first thing he remembers hearing is. “you better up your trainings seonghwa.”
and he knew you were returning.
as happy and overjoyed he was to see you, he was equally desperate to tell you the truth. but he knew you’d never want to see him, that’s what terrified him. to become nothing but a memory to you, a memory who never got to explain itself.
So, he interrupted your hiring procedure or whatever that was, outing himself as the right person to guard you for as long as he can. after all, he was meant to be your right-hand man at all times.
not only did he do that so that you’d look at him in the eye or speak to him or reject his duties, but he did it because he couldn’t imagine anyone else besides him to stand by you.
and maybe get a chance to explain himself, but all he’s got his avoided stares, small talks, dismissing him and pretending he doesn’t exist.
as much as it breaks him, he knows he deserves it. all the times you’ve ignored him, he can’t be upset because at least, you’re there, at least, you’re in front of his eyes.
but maybe his hopes of reconciling with you won’t come true since you’ve dismissed any of his advances of him doing his duty or having a civil conversation with him.
“yunho, where’s the car?” you ask with a raised eyebrow, tapping your feet on the pavement outside your house.
“i-i, it should be here ma’am!”
“we’ve been waiting for half an hour, jeong yunho.” you grit, “i have places to be and you had one job to do, right?”
yunho bows down quickly, “i’m so sorry, this all is new to me so i got the wrong car-“
but he’s interrupted by the loud honking of a black range rover pulling into the roundabout before he can explain himself, catching you off-guard. “is that the one you got?” you ask, eyes on the car that comes to stop in front of you.
“n-no, ma’am.”
and before you’re about to respond, the front door to the car opens and out comes seonghwa with his dark sunglasses, prim and proper outfit, and a smile you’ve missed.
“the car, ma’am.” he says with a bow of his head, and you swallow, giving yunho a look who only returns a small smile.
“i’ll take the other one,” you say, taking a few steps away from the two but only to be stopped by seonghwa’s loud voice.
“ma’am, please.” your grip your bag tighter at that. “you’ll be late for your meeting, please take the car.”
he watched your back turn to him and swallowed, head down and hands behind his back. “i’ll let yunho driv-“
“i hope you know the address.” he hears you say, walking past him and he pauses for a second. eyes blinking repeatedly at what he heard that is until yunho pats his chest with a cheeky smile and a wink.
“i-i do!”
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when you told seonghwa you’d sit down and have a talk with him, you didn’t expect yourself to be this nervous to be in his presence. it felt as if every emotion you had felt in the past five years hit you like a truck.
with the constant messages from kai encouraging you by sending emojis and memes and gifs that only made you want to hide from seonghwa.  
So, standing outside the door to where he stood made butterflies sprout in your stomach, it felt as if you were seeing him again for the first time.
your hand on the doorknob stays still for a while before you inhale and twist it, opening the door and immediately you’re faced with seonghwa standing at the far side of the room, back facing the door while he looks out the balcony.
you swallow before entering, closing the door behind before making your way towards him. and it’s as if your memory became a film, it played out the moments you had with him.
“i’m park seonghwa, your new bodyguard from now on. i’m to be by your side whenever you go out at all times, it’s nice to meet you ma’am.”
“my names y/n not ma’am!”
“you know they should keep you in museums.”
“you’re cute.”
“you’re so pretty…i can’t believe you’re mine.”
“i like someone els-“
“y/n.”
you snap out of your thoughts, gaze falling on him with a soft smile. “seonghwa.”
his lips pull into a smile, and he gestures for you to take a seat at the couch set in front of him, you nod and take a seat. he follows suit and sits opposite you.
for the first few minutes, none of you know what to say. you’re looking everywhere but him but he’s looking at you as if you’re the only person to ever walk this earth.
he looks at you with fond stare, one that studies you with a soft look. he fiddles with his fingers and inhales before finally speaking. “h-how are you?”
your heart skips a beat, “good.”
“it’s raining,” he points, and you nod. “your favoutite.”
“i hate the rain.” you respond, and he stops.
“b-but you loved rain?”
you grit your jaw, “i loved a lot of things.” you answer, alluding to the past.
“i’m sorry.” he says right after, head down and eyes shut. “i’ve been wanting to apologize for everything that happened.”
“for what?” you ask, obviously knowing exactly what happened but you want him to say it to you.
he lifts his head up a little and you spot the way the glint in his eyes change for a split second, embarrassment or even maybe even shame but definitely remorse.
“i found someone who matches me.”
“someone who isn’t like you.”
“for dumping me?” you ask, voice shaky and eyes slightly teary. “or saying all of that with no thought of how it’ll affect me?”
“someone quieter, not loud or annoying-“
“…you found me annoying? and loud?”
“i..” he begins, hands curling into fists as he inhales and exhales. “i want to apologize for pushing you away the way i did, i..i didn’t mean anything i said that day y/n please trust me-“
“you weren’t held on gunpoint seonghwa,” you whisper, “you could’ve not said anything.”
“i was told to break it off with you.” he swallows, and you look down. “so that you’d leave.”
he continues, “when…when you were at my place, your dad had come to meet me and i never told you about it.”
“join me for a walk, seonghwa.”
“y-yes sir.” he says, looking over his shoulder and then on the ground before his eyes widen at the sight of your shoes beside his.
nevertheless, he follows your father outside his complex. following the shorter man who’s stride rivaled power, someone who he always respected above anyone else.
“do you like my daughter, seonghwa?”
his head snaps up, “what?”
“you heard me,” his boss says, “are you dating her?“
when he gave no response, your father already knew. with the way his men are everywhere, this would’ve never slipped past him. how could it? you two went out to places every week with each other, in areas where only sketchy people would be found. it’s no wonder he knows.
“i’m extremely sorry sir,” he says, “y-you can fire me or cut my hands like you said..but i do like your daughter, quite a lot sir.”
“how much should i pay you to break it off then?”
his lips part in surprise, “s-sir?”
“a million or a two? or a blank check?”
“i..i’m sorry but i can’t accept any of that sir.” he replies, a frown on his face that he can’t hide. “you’ve known me since i was a child, i’m not attached to money like that— i have never been.”
“i have always trusted and respected your decisions but…as much as i hate to disrespect you..” he says, “i will not break the relationship i have with your daughter, sir.”
“i will fire you.”
he then stands tall, “then please do so.”
“yet you still did it.” he hears you whisper, and he swears he heard a crack of his heart. "you still followed him; you couldn’t go against him no matter seonghwa!“
“tell her you want nothing to do with her, seonghwa.” he says. “that’s the only way she’d leave.”
“sir, that’s-“
“i know, but i have no option.” He looks down, “i can’t let her fall behind because of you.”
“i wanted you to!” you burst out, catching him by surprise. “i thought at least you’d be on my side! we could’ve done it together; we could’ve gone against him together!”
you then stand up, running a hand down your face irritatedly. “gosh this is so stupid, it wasn’t even real right?” you ask, glancing at his hunched figure and your eyes go straight to his hands and spit that ring. “i wanted it to be so real, because i loved you seonghwa.”
“it was a silly little fling,” you whisper, “right? where we just hide behind the doors and do our thing and then break it off because you found someone else!”
you nod, “right, that’s what it was…but i loved you..and you didn’t, and that’s what hurt me the most.”
“y/n…”
“call me ma’am.” you whisper, nodding to yourself and taking a few steps back.
“i didn’t care that you called me loud or annoying.. or the class difference between us.” he lifts his head up, seeing you take slow steps back away from him and for a second it hits him. “i wanted you to be with me..despite what my father had told you.”
“i knew he’d come to ask you all of this,” he hears you say, “which is why i kept telling you to not listen to him, to maybe..just maybe go against him for once and break your good boy image.”
“i just wanted to have you.”
it hits him that he’s about to lose you again, for the second time.
and it feels so real that his heart drops when you turn your back to him.
“i quit.”
you stop, your sniffles ringing the room as you use the back of your hand to wipe your tears away.
“the next day after we split,” you shut your eyes, “i quit working under your dad, in fact, me, hongjoong, yeosang and wooyoung all did.”
“what is this seonghwa?”
“my resignation, sir.” he announced, bowing at his waist. “it’s been a pleasure working for you but it’s time i quit.“
“i couldn’t live like that,” he mumbles, rising to his feet and taking a few steps closer to you. Eyes softening and heart sinking. “so right after i quit, i went to look for you.”
“but i left that same night.”
“but you left.”
“i didn’t know until your dad told me, how you were sent away for god knows how long.” he whispers, voice cracking and you hear him sniffle. “and i didn’t know when you’d come back…how you’d be like or if you’d even want to look at me.”
“if you quit working, why are you still here?” you ask, heart beating fast and brain spiralling.
“..because i was told you’ll be coming back.” his whispers tug at your heart, “and i couldn’t afford to miss it. i couldn’t let someone else take my spot.”
“i spent the last five years, trying to reach out to you through mails but i didn’t know your address.” he explains, “i looked for your number but you changed it, i kept looking and looking but then i realized wherever you were, you’d be safer there than here.”
“i wanted you to be safe at the end of the day,” he takes a few steps closer until his front hits your back. “even if it meant breaking up with you.”
“because i loved you,” he says, voice a whisper but a gentle one. his hand slowly reaches for yours from the back, “..and have for the past five years and still counting.”
“you may have said it first,” he holds your hand gently, his larger palm fitting with yours perfectly. “but i wish i did, so at least you wouldn’t hate me.”
“i don’t hate you,” you sigh.
“but what’s the point of it all now?” you ask, turning around to look at his tear-stained face. you reach out for his hand and lift it up beside your face, pointing at his finger. “you’re already married.”
“all of this..” you shake his hand all while he stares at you with wide eyes, “it doesn’t matter anymore.”
he shakes his head, “it does y/n, you’re m-“
“are you going to cheat on your wife now?” you ask, eyes blown wide despite the tears welling up in them. “you’re married and yet you’re here professing your love for me while she wai-“
“-y/n.”
“no!” you stop him, letting go of his hand to take a step back. “are you really go-“
“y/n,” he stammers, trying to hold onto your escaping hand. “y/n, y/n, listen to me-“
“i’m not going to do this seonghwa,” you stumble back, hands in the air and eyes on the ground.
but before you have the chance to take another step back or say anything else. his hand reaches out to grab you by the wrist, abruptly pulling you to him.
a squeak leaves your lips when you’re jerked forward, your face meeting his chest and his hands wrapping around your waist, face buried in your neck.
“i’m not married,” he whispers, and your hands fall to your sides, a tired sigh leaves you, closing your eyes and burying yourself in his chest.
“what about that ring then?” you ask, voice dropping to lower octave.
he smiles and you can hear it, “you don’t remember when we bought matching rings at that diner?”
your face drops at that memory, “you still- that’s that?!” he nods and holds you closer.
“i had it on the past five years,” he mumbles, tapping your back twice with a smile that almost heals you.
“you’re crazy.”
he hums, and it’s one of those low and deep ones. “says you.”
his perfume wafts in your nose and for a second you find yourself losing in him. having have finally held him after years and feeling the comfort you missed, your hands lift to wrap them around his waist.
“you once asked me if i would go against your father,” he mumbles, “it took me a while to answer you but, yes, I can.”
“i never was, no one existed that i could match with better than you.” his deep low voice that causes your stomach to swoop.
“what about the one you told me about years back?” you mumble, pulling back to hold his stare.
“he shakes his head, and you slap his chest with a frown, “you lied over that too?!”
“i’m sorry!” he’s quick to say, worry written all over his face.
but before he continues the door the room bursts open, making the two of you jump and snap your heads back with wide eyes.
“t-that was us! all of it!” wooyoung yells, hands in the air while yeosang holds him back.
“he’s right!” hongjoong screams from the back, hands curled into fists as if ready to fight someone. “we did it for him! don’t blame him!”
“sorry i was watching a show and the inspo hit!”
“y-you guys are here too?!” you say out loud, turning around fully to spot them properly.
it feels like a deja vu, from the very first time you met them to now.
how all of them are still the same, though a little older and definitely not working under your father. more free and smiley and loud and chaotic than before.
seonghwa’s hands leave your waist and he comes to stand by you, one hand sticking in his pocket while his gaze flickers between you and the three standing up front.
a soft smile on his lips before he looks at the trio in front of him, shaking his head and sheepishly coming to hold your hand in his. caressing the top of it with his thumb gently, the action making you look at him.
“i hate you,” you whisper but the smile on your face says the opposite.
“hey, you all.” seonghwa yells from beside you, head noticing them to turn around and look away. it’s not an action they get at first, but when they do their eyes widen and lift up their thumbs.
“what wh-“
“wooyoung.”
and when they do, seonghwa spins you to him and locks his lips with yours immediately. surprising you and muffling your gasp with his lips, arms snaking around you, and he holds you impossibly close to him. as if you’d vanish in thin air.
your hands fly from your sides to his face, cupping his softer cheeks and smiling against the kiss all while your eyes drop fat tears, he can’t help but chuckle at in between the kiss. whispering ‘i’m sorry’s’ between the kiss while you nodded. 
he pulls back to leans his forehead on yours, staring at you with a look that made you look away. “do you still hate me?”
you nod as he wipes the water around your eyes. “maybe a little less than two minutes ago.”
he ticks an eyebrow up, “oh?”
“mhm,” you smile.
he leans closer so that the tips of your noses touch. "how about now?”
“a point five difference maybe?” he smirks.
“can we look now?”
“look where?”
you and seonghwa never pushed each other so fast at that new voice joining all of you, you recognize it as your fathers, and he recognizes it as terror.
“s-sir!”
“dad!”
“good? morning?” he says, face twisted in confusion as every single one of you try to find the words to speak.
"it’s actually nighttime sir,” wooyoung informs, “so, you should say good night.”
you bite a laugh back at the way your dad frowns and how wooyoung immediately gets on his knees to apologize.
and you find yourself leaning on seonghwa, linking your arm with his and he can’t help but break out into a wide smile. his heart fluttering at the sight of it all, you beside him and wooyoung getting disciplined.
and then your dad turns to you two, before you’d move away from seonghwa but now you stay. keeping the stare with your dad who looks at the way you two stood with a small smile, “y/n, hasn’t seonghwa told you yet?”
your eyebrows pull together at that, “tell me what?” looking at seonghwa. 
“ah, right.”
at that, seonghwa let’s go of your hand. stepping back and standing tall, a small smirk on his face before he bends at his waist to bow at you.
“i’m park seonghwa, your new bodyguard,” he looks up and winks, “it’s nice to be back.”
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shibaraki · 9 months
Text
WE UNFOLD IN POOLS OF GOLD ┊ TODOROKI SHOUTO
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tags: GN reader, pro hero shouto, publicity stunts (a fake relationship) fluff, flirting, mutual pining, alcohol consumption, pick up lines, confessions, best friends to lovers
wc: 2.3K
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“Look, as I’ve said this is only for the event tonight,” Shouto’s manager, Abe Riko, instructed you. Unease had twisted in your stomach as she looked you over with a critical eye, smoothed the wrinkles in your clothing and circled you like a shark. “You don’t have to confirm that you’re in a relationship, you just need to behave like you’re in one. Enough that it’ll create speculation”.
At first you’d been mystified that Shouto agreed to such a thing but it soon became clear the public perception was gnawing at him. To your confusion, people found Shouto to be an enigmatic hero type; they didn’t know how to interact with him and often hesitated in doing so, intimidated by his impassive expression and monotony.
You know Shouto to be the opposite. He is clever in social situations, he’s witty and blunt and he makes you laugh. With that in mind you supposed being their first choice was the least surprising part of the situation. Shoving a beautiful stranger on his arm would only lead to an inevitable stony faced and unfiltered disaster. As one of his best friends your presumed relationship is far more believable given how comfortable you are together.
The issue is you—namely, your feelings for him. Love that knows no boundary. Yearning dug deep in your bones. Hunger that leads you to eventually say yes.
A multitude of anxieties take root in your thoughts, playing out all the possible outcomes, bracing you for the inevitable hurt come morning. Because everything feels right, here. Shouto’s hand sits low on your back like it belongs there. He leans in closer than necessary to listen to you talk, commentates on the lives of the attendants around you; always a smile in his eyes when you laugh at something he says; the brush of his mouth to your temple; the fingers that squeeze at your waist.
“I think we’ve done well,” you say. “Don’t you?”
Rather than needing to stick close to his side as instructed, Shouto has been the one to trail after you, hand in gentle hand while you meander around the venue to greet people. He never enjoyed flashy events but you can tell your presence helps, along with the copious free alcohol.
“Only the tabloids will tell”.
Another waiter passes by, bowing his head low and proffering a tray of champagne flutes. Shouto plucks one up, bringing it to his nose, which wrinkles at the sharp smell. You laugh, distracted as his thumb rubs over your knuckles. “Let me try some”.
Shouto looks at you from the corner of his eye, near electric blue under the lustrous chandeliers hung in the high ceilings. You’ve had a hard time appreciating the architecture when you could simply marvel at him in his grey slim fit suit.
He swipes his tongue across his lip, wincing at the taste before tipping the rim of the glass against your mouth. Your heart beats loud in your ears as you sip the fizzing champagne, sharp and slightly zesty. A flurry of shuttering clicks go off across the room, dwindling into white noise. You’re accustomed to ignoring the reoccurring camera flashes now. “Shit. That’s so dry,” you groused under your breath.
Shouto hums, equal parts amused and congruent with your displeasure. “I wish they would serve something sweet and fruity for once,” he says.
You pointedly refasten your grip around his hand, arm drawn across your midsection to rub his forearm, “I got enough sweet and fruity right here”.
Something ravenous like pride rears in your chest when he tucks his chin and snorts. The movement coaxes a few stray red strands over his forehead. Sucking in a breath, Shouto’s cheeks swell and deflate as he exhales heavily. “Well, according to everybody else I am too boring. That’s why we’re here together”.
“And that’s bullshit. If anything you’re the pretty face making me seem more interesting here,” you say offhandedly, turning your attention to the undulating crowd. The live band takes on a spirited beat as more people gather on the dance floor. Shouto continues to stare in your peripheral vision, coloured in fondness you don’t know what to do with.
“I don’t know if that’s true,” he tells you, a diffident lilt in his voice. “You look incredible tonight”.
There’s a nascent giddiness sprouting in your chest. It feels so distinctly innocent and juvenile, the kind you feel throughout your whole body. “Yeah?”
“Yes,” Shouto pauses, flustered, and swallows down another gulp of champagne. “…Abe-san is very good at what she does”.
The reminder that you’re engaging in a publicity stunt is jarring—but his sincerity eases any sting that might’ve come from it. It’s as though he were refreshing his own memory more than he is yours. The thought makes you smile and you take the flute glass from him, swirling the liquid gold inside.
“Shouto. Are you flirting with me?” you tease, holding his gaze as you find the cold impression of his lips on the rim and take a sip. You’ve started burning from the inside out, wiggling fingers entwined, and Shouto knots them together tighter in response.
“Flirting on a date is commonplace,” he returns, pushing the wayward strands back into his carefully styled hair. You soften at the sight. Pinned behind his left ear and combed over to the right, Shouto doesn’t hide his scar the way he used to.
You set the empty champagne glass on a waitress’s tray as she passes, and reach to fix his parting. “Well if we’re allowed to flirt then I can tell you I love your hair like this,” you murmur, fingertips brushing along his temple and down the curve of his right cheek. “It’s hot. And I like seeing more of your face”.
To anyone else the hot and cold hero might appear indifferent. But you feel when the air around him expands, thick with warmth. Shouto is careful to keep it under his skin. “Because you think my face is pretty?” he recalls.
“Now you’re getting it”.
“So then…” Shouto clears his throat, shifting his weight. The grip on your fingers loosens like he expects you’ll let go. “If I’m pretty and you’re cute, together we would be pretty cute”.
The lick of sheer affection that flashes through your chest is overwhelming. “Shouto,” you start, clutching at his hand, thoroughly enjoying the immediate regret written on his face. “Who taught you that?”
“I understand pick up lines just fine,” he mutters, only to sulkily add, “Kaminari may have shared some with me”.
You laugh. It’s all you can do to allay the urge to kiss him. Shouto is dangerous enough as he is—teaching him pick-up lines was the wholesome equivalent of handing him the nuclear codes. The room takes on a gauzy, yellowish tint as the waiters line up to push the balcony doors open, perhaps from all the blood rushing straight to your brain.
The energy amongst the guests takes a palpable turn and people line up to head into the gardens, where a grande marquee has been set up. He tugs your wrist, lightly guiding you to follow the crowd. Expensive garments shimmer under the gloaming moonlight.
You step into the cool night air, warmed by the heat thrumming through Shouto’s left arm. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”
Ah, he’s going to pout any second now, you think. The drinks must be wearing on him. “Sorry. It was kinda bad,” you tell him, ducking forward to inflict upon him your unfettered smile—because Shouto finds your delight particularly contagious. The tension in his brow releases as he smiles back, nudging you in your side, because he knows exactly what you’re doing. “It wasn’t bad bad—stop sulking. I’ll do you one better”.
“You will?”
The fireworks begin then, snatching his focus; great starbursts of light against the dark sky, lighting up the garden every few seconds. A prismatic glow halos Shouto’s silhouette, returning next in a vivid green, then red. You become hyper aware of your clammy palms and the flecks of fire tousled from his hair in the wind.
Inhibitions softened, tongue loose in your mouth, you steel yourself to pinch delicately at the lapel of his blazer. “Hey. Pretty boy,” you rub the fabric between your thumb and forefinger. “Is this boyfriend material?”
Shouto’s brow lifts in soft surprise and he blinks slowly. You’re struck once again by that fond gaze, how beautifully he wears it, and how he’s close enough that you can see the explosive display reflected in his eyes. As his smile grows the rough tissue above his left cheek crinkles, “Actually I think it’s cotton twill”.
You huff, suitably charmed at his feigned ignorance. Another firework soars into the air with a shrill whistle and the crowd around you murmurs in awe as it booms into a fleeting shower of gold. Neither you nor Shouto bother to glance up, or away from one another.
“You’re wrong, but that’s okay,” you sway further into his space; a small part of you is drawn in by the heat pulsing from his left side, but mostly because you wanted to touch him. “This is boyfriend material—no, husband material,” cheek squished to his shoulder, you peer up and curl your left hand around his bicep. The sleeve is tight against the muscle beneath. “Are you perhaps looking for a life partner?”
A traitorous hiccup jumps in your throat, and Shouto’s mouth thins as he tries not to laugh. There’s a blush staining him pink from his nose to his ears and it very well could be the alcohol, but inwardly you’d like to take credit for the dazed look on his face. Playing along he asks, “What are your qualifications?”
The surroundings and the people fade into obscurity until you forget exactly what it is that led you here. Just you and Shouto in the giddy darkness. “I can make you laugh. I can make you food. I can make you cum,” you hold up a finger for each point made. “I will still love you even when you watch me with that dead fish stare in the morning”.
Shouto’s half lidded expression flickers at that, his mouth jutting into a pout, though there’s no real hurt there. His knuckles brush against your cheek and unfurl to cup your jaw, “But you sleep with your mouth open. It’s cute”.
Turning into his palm you sigh, a little lovestruck, “I’m going to squeeze you like a grape”.
“Please don’t,” the low timbre of his voice wraps around you. “Best friends don’t bully each other,” he falters for a moment, waiting for another technicolour thunder to dwindle. “I suppose they don’t flirt, either”.
“One look at any of your old classmates proves that to be historically untrue, shortcake,” you cover his hand and stroke your thumb across the back of his knuckles. It doesn’t escape you that he has yet to let you go this evening, even going as far as waiting outside the bathrooms for you like some forlorn stray.
“Shortcake,” he mumbles the name as though trying it on for size. Abe-san and his team surely got what they wanted. Shouto smiled more tonight than he has in weeks and you can’t help hoping it’ll never end. “I like when you give me nicknames”.
You’re distantly aware of the lenses pointed in your direction; you conjure possible headlines and imagine the image printed below it, two people looped together in a perfect bow, and somehow it makes you a little braver. “Yeah? Well I like you,” you admit helplessly, clinging to the lapels of his suit. “I have for a long time. More than best friends should, if that wasn’t obvious”.
There’s a brief reprieve as multiple fireworks shriek through the air, splitting into hundreds of strobe stars. You get a clear view of Shouto’s expression as it flowers open before being plunged back into darkness.
“Oh,” his exhale is so loud in the deafening quiet. Hands find your waist and press you close, delaying your growing panic. “Was this our first date?”
“I mean, if you want it to be”.
“I don’t,” he says. Your heart stutters but his fingers keep you in place. “I wanted to take you to the Churaumi aquarium”.
You slump in his arms, cut loose by the relief, and he swallows you in a wintergreen embrace. “Fuck. You could’ve led with that first,” you mutter. His shoulders shake under your cheek.
“Sorry,” he says, sounding anything but.
Hands slip into his jacket. You cinch your arms around his middle as you lean back to get a good look at him. “…You’re seriously going to fly us out to Okinawa for our first date?”
Shouto looks back at you, gentled by the moonlight crowning his head. “Is that a yes?”
The fireworks must’ve finished, you note. A sea of people are surrounding the two of you; they pay you no mind, parting around your bodies with ease, too lost in themselves to notice. Slow, you arch into him, coming chest to chest, fingers locked at the small of his back. A cold sensation nips at your mouth as Shouto shudders an exhale.
“Yes,” you grin and bump your nose to his cheek. “If I kiss you do you think Abe-san will get mad?”
His hand comes to cup your nape, the other massaging idle shapes into your hip. “Probably,” he murmurs, tilting you—and with it, the world—to align your mouths and kiss you anyway.
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