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inamagicalhallucination · 10 months

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headcanon atsushi’s ability the tiger does not know what to do when it likes someone

like in general atsushi is bad with knowing what to do with the ppl he likes and showing affection -- like he tries to mimic others but he himself is still working on something that feels natural if that makes sense

but the tiger

the tiger is far worse becuz the only positive thing it can associate with positive emotions is food so every time it gets closer to the full moon the tiger starts whispering in the back of his mind that he should eat dazai and kunikida

then kyouka and junichiro

and ranpo and yosano and fukuzawa and kenji and naomi and haruno

at first atsushi panics (naturally) worries he’s a cannibal, thinks the tiger hates the agency, panics more, especially after dead apple when he and the tiger gained an understanding of each other and he realized that the tiger was protecting him so he’s like why r u trying to kill the agency members

but gradually he realizes that actually the tiger just doesn’t know how to deal with positive emotions and yeah

anyway:

atsushi: dazai-san is so nice to me :)

the tiger: yeah :)

the tiger: we should eat him

atsushi: NO????

//

kunikida, patting atsushi’s head: good job on ur report atsushi

the tiger: use his arm against him and eat him

kunikida: atsushi u look weird are u feeling unwell

atsushi: hahaha dont worry about no weird thoughts here hahahaha

//

atsushi, literally just working:

the tiger: the small candy one eats a lot of sugar. he would taste sweet. Eat him.

atsushi: NO??????????????

ranpo, looking up: i’ve actually always wondered what i would taste like-

//

and so on

is this incredibly dumb? yes but is it also funny, yes

atsushi realizes he likes akutagawa because at some point when he spots him the tiger immediately starts wondering what he’d taste like

atsushi, sees akutagawa: oh there’s that basta-

the tiger: i bet he’d taste really nice

atsushi:

atsushi: oh

atsushi: oh no

//

akutagawa: how did you figure out you liked me?

atsushi: i couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d taste like

akutagawa, blushing: oh-

atsushi: yeah it was insane how much the tiger wanted to kill and eat u

akutagawa, slightly confused and horrified: oh-

//

eventually as atsushi learns to deal with his feelings so does the tiger but unfortunately it’s still an animal so its more like

atsushi: dazai’s so nice :)

the tiger: yeah :)

the tiger: lets hunt a deer for him

atsushi: no??????????????

//

kunikida, petting atsushi’s hair: good job on the job atsushi

atsushi, not thinking about what he’s saying: kunikida i like u so much should i kill a bear for u?

kunikida, slightly confused, slightly flattered: uhh no???????

//

atsushi, at the store: lemme just get something for kyouka-

the tiger: we shall hunt until we find something suitabl-

atsushi: no.

//

atsushi: im sorry i transformed last night, snuck out of ur place, hunted down a goose, broke back in, left it in the living room table, and then climbed on top of u, still a tiger, and then fell asleep and only transformed back now, after u had to use rashomon to get tiger me off u

akutagawa, dead tired: yeah i don’t know what the appropriate response is but ur cleaning the bloo-

akutagawa: wait wtf do u mean theres a dead goose in the living room

atsushi: do u not like goose :(

akutagawa: that is NOT the issue here

//

yeah

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dazaiskinnie · 3 months

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Dazai: Truth or dare?

Chuuya: Truth

Dazai, smirking: I dare you to make out with me

Chuuya, climbing into Dazai's lap: You best believe I'm not here to lose.

Atsushi: …

Atsushi: He didn't even choose dare

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chuuyaxsupremacy9 · 4 months

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Chuuya, unbuttoning shirt: god, isn't it hot in here?

Dazai: yes, but why the hell are you unbuttoning my shirt?

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sakyira · 1 year

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Dazai: Here’s the cold medicine you asked for

Dazai: *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*

Chuuya: ...Thanks.

#skk #soukoku #double black #soukoku incorrect quotes #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs incorrect quotes #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #chuuya #dazai #ჩემი

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darkreunioniscoming · 4 months

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Dazai texting Chuuya: I'm at the bar just thinking.

Chuuya: About what.

Dazai: You

Chuuya: Well, that's sweet.

Dazai: Oh, nothing good tho.

#bungo stray dogs incorrect quotes #bungou stray dogs memes #bungou stray dogs #bsd incorrect quotes #bsd memes #bsd #soukoku #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara

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incorrect-bungo-stray-dogs · 1 year

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Port Mafia Enemy: I invited you into the woods because I crave the most dangerous game.

Young Dazai and Chuuya, nodding: Knife monopoly.

Port Mafia Enemy:

Port Mafia Enemy: I was actually gonna hunt you for sport, but now I'm interested in whatever the fuck knife Monopoly is.

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chuuyaandreaderkilldazai · 2 months

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characters as things friends + family have said

#shart said this btw #bungo stray dogs #bsd #bsd memes #bsd incorrect quotes #incorrect bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs meme #bungo stray dogs incorrect quotes #dazai #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #bsd dazai #chuuya #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #bsd chuuya #soukoku

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tiredellen · 5 months

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Kunikida, on the phone: Dazai where are you your late to work!?

Dazai: I told you, I’m sick *fake coughs*

Kunikida *sighs*: Swear you’re not at Chuck E Cheese again?

*skee ball machine alarm goes off in the background*

Dazai:....

Kunikida:..

#dazai bsd #bsd dazai #bsd #bungou stray dogs dazai #bungo stay dogs #bungo stray dogs incorrect quotes #bungo stray dogs #kunikida doppo bsd #bsd kunikida #kunikidazai

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hopefully-helpful-daemon · 3 months

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Dazai, literally just existing:

Kunikida: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

#bungou stray dogs incorrect quotes #incorrect bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs incorrect quotes #bsd incorrect quotes #incorrect bungou stray dogs quotes #incorrect bsd quotes #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #doppo kunikida #kunikida doppo #dazai x kunikida #kunikidazai #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd

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koiblossom5 · 1 year

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mushitaro: my life is in the hands of an idiot! atsushi, pointing to himself and kyouka: no no no, TWO idiots!

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kolyasupremanxy · 1 year

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Atsushi: "I have a confession to make. I actually like Dazai's jokes."

Akutagawa: "And I have a confession to make. I actually like Atsushi's company."

Chuuya: "And I have a confession to make. I actually like... nah, I don't have any confessions."

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd imagines #bsd headcanons #soukoku #shin soukoku #skk #sskk #chuuya x dazai #dazai x chuuya #atsushi x akutagawa #akutagawa x atsushi #bungo stray dogs incorrect quotes #bsd incorrect quotes

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dazaiskinnie · 6 months

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*Chuuya shitfaced drunk watching a video on his phone*

Chuuya: NO! NO DONT GO THERE! DONT GO INTO THE CHURCH YOU DUMB BITCH!

Dazai: What are you watching chu? A horror movie?

Chuuya, nonchalantly: Our wedding video.

Dazai: …

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chuuyaxsupremacy9 · 5 months

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Atsushi: I truly believe water can solve all your problems

Kunikida: weight loss? Drink water

Chuuya: clear skin? Drink water

Dazai: wanna d!e? Drown yourself

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sakyira · 1 year

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Dazai: We are taking this young lady hostage!

Chuuya: No. Overruled.

Dazai: I overrule your overruling

Chuuya: Must you be so difficult?!

#from: vnc #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd incorrect quoted #bungou stray dogs incorrect quotes #bungo stray dogs incorrect quotes #soukoku #skk #double black #soukoku incorrect quotes #dazai #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #ჩემი

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darkreunioniscoming · 6 months

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Kunikida: Since its summer and hot out right now, the P.M. was generous and offered a fun harmless water fight.

Yosano: Oh how fun!

Atsushi: Dazai what are you doing?

Dazai: Just waiting for this water to boil.

Kunikida: Why?..

Dazai: For the water fight of course! Can't wait for Mori's face when a blast him with hot water..

Yosano: I'M IN! CHUUYA'S BRINGING THE WINE!

#bungo stray dogs incorrect quotes #bungou stray dogs memes #bungo stray dogs #bsd incorrect quotes #bsd memes #bsd #dazai osamu #mori ougai #chuuya nakahara #atsushi nakajima #kunikida doppo #yosano akiko #armed detective agency #bsd port mafia

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correct-stray-dogs · 7 months

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Dazai: We will be going by codenames. I will be called “Eagle 1″

Dazai: Chuuya is “Been There, Done That.”

Chuuya: rolls his eyes

Dazai: Kunikida is “Currently Doing That.”

Kunikida: blushes brightly

Dazai: Ranpo, “Happened Once In A Dream.”

Ranpo: winks

Dazai: Yosano, “If I had To Pick A Girl.”

Yosano: gives him a thumbs up

Dazai: And Atsushi is... “Eagle 2.”

Atsushi: Oh thank god.

#bsd #bsd incorrect quotes #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs incorrect quotes #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #edogawa ranpo #ranpo edogawa #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #nakajima atsushi #atsushi nakajima #yosano akiko #akiko yosano #doppo kunikida #kunikida doppo

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