I had a funny silly thing to say about something I found in past Discord conversations about some stuff I've been doing here but nah fuck that

Guess which FNaF author has apparently been tormenting me with frustrating plots, a love for wasted screen time and a lack of details needed to tell the fucking story, since Felix the Shark.

Sweet Enigma| Part 4

Words: 2318

Tags:  @wheezeatmedolans​ @styles-dolan​ @prettyboydolan​ @evergreendolan​ @baby-turtles​ @dolanstacoma​ @kombuchagray​ @not-gbd​ @graysavant​ @someonetogray​ @dolansficsandpics​ @batgirl009 @voguekristens @letsgoget-high​ @crossedbone-kat​

Grayson Dolan wasn’t very proud of how he treated Kate during the summer of 2020. He was insecure, anxious, and unsure of how to properly handle a beautiful creature like her. The only thing he was proud of from that summer was  everything between he and Kate was kept private. Grayson knew the one good thing he did was protect her from the public eye. Even though he was neurotic and immature, he managed to save her heart and her life from being sucked into the celebrity storm. When Grayson thought back to that summer, he felt guilt and regret for not being more of a man when he had the chance, but his emotions were ebbed by his one right thing.

This is why, when Grayson spotted a figure in a black hood sulking on the edge of his tiny home property, he promptly told Kate to pack her backpacks and get ready to leave. When she asked why they were leaving so soon, he responded brusquely that they weren’t safe there anymore. And so, they ditched their car and planned the next step on their journey: leaving a trail of broken hearts, lies, and tension in their wake like some kind of modern Bonnie and Clyde.

Once they mapped out their next destination and decided on an arrival time, Grayson called Ethan.

“You really know how to make an exit Gray,” upon hearing his twin’s brother’s voice, Grayson was struck by the idea that it had been nearly two days since he had been with Ethan: that was nearly a decade in twin time.

Grayson huffed into the phone, “I’m sorry about that E.”

Grayson could hear Ethan shake his head on the other end of the line, “I’ve been taking care of your life since you’ve been gone. The Wakeheart bathbomb project is still on schedule—” “Good-“ Grayson murmured mindlessly on the other end of the line: work was the last thing he wanted to talk about with Ethan at the moment.

“I’ve also kept Calvin at bay from suing you for the cost of that party—Hey Gray do you know anything about him and a stripper from Florida? Please don’t tell me you ran off with a stripper from Orlando—” Ethan felt ridiculous saying it, but it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility.

“No-No-No,” Grayson’s voice was adamant, “I am not with—I’m with Kate. We were in Chester, leaving for Long Valley right now—” “Oh—” Ethan could not contain his surprise at hearing Kate’s name. In his heart of hearts, he wasn’t shocked that Grayson was physically clinging to his memories of her: his last actual happy times. Ethan had always liked Kate, if his brother hadn’t fallen so madly for her back in the day Ethan would have considered calling her to ask for a date. But Ethan’s subconscious did not need twin telepathy to tell him that if Grayson wasn’t running away from Sherry, he was most definitely running to Kate.

“Yeah,” Grayson didn’t want to brush his brother off but his tone was curt, “We’re going to mom’s house before anyone catches us out here.”

“Gray,” Ethan’s tone wore his signature big brother tone of disappointment.

“Yeah?” “You remember what dad used to tell us?” Ethan sighed into the phone, he could almost hear Grayson’s heart stutter a bit before he continued, “If you have to sneak around, you know you’re doing something wrong.”

Grayson rubbed his lips together, as if trying to slide the unruly thought into his head. “Love you bro.” “Love you Gray.”

The second that Ethan hung up the phone, Grayson slung his orange leather duffel bag over his shoulder. He nodded at Kate, who was waiting patiently on the lofted bed. Together, they used the cover of the night to escape to Long Valley.

Lisa loved it when her children came to visit her. She would prepare big meals and try to find excuses to cuddle up with them on the couch. On that night, she wished she was seeing Grayson under different circumstances. It didn’t take a mother’s intuition to see the tension in his eyes and stress hanging in his jaw. She was surprised to see the petite brunette with a slight limp trail behind him. Grayson had once shown Lisa a picture of Kate. She vaguely remembered the image of a smiling girl in front of a blue tiled wall. Even with the hazy memory of the girl, Lisa was as shocked as anyone else in the world to learn that she was Grayson’s first stop after leaving his own engagement party.

Upon arriving to his mother’s house, Grayson ran upstairs to call Ethan back. In the car, Ethan texted Grayson about a number of issues surrounding the coming boat party for the launch of Wakeheart’s new line of bath bombs. In skipping out, he left his mother and Kate alone in the kitchen.

Kate sucked in her lip, her eyes darting awkwardly around the room.

Lisa sipped at her tea prior to breaking the silence, “How is he?” “He’s—” Kate took in a deep breath, picking her words carefully, “He’s trying his best. But—” she sighed, “He’s head strong.” Lisa chuckled, “He’s always been that way. He has a habit of getting obsessed with things he convinces himself are good ideas.”

Kate nodded with a rocking swing, “Yes.” She bit her lip, asking herself if she would ask the question before it came out, “I think that’s what happened—with, with her.”

Lisa gave a subtle nod, “I wouldn’t doubt it.”

They shared a silent space for a few moments.

Lisa turned to Kate again, “Do you want to leave? I’m sure you want to get back to your own life..” Kate shook her head quickly, dark tresses escaping from her ponytail. Suddenly, she was very self-conscious about appearing annoyed or disinterested, “No, not at all. I—” she bit her lip, “I want to be there for him. He was—he was there for me when I had no one else.” She gnawed on her skin softly, “He would do it for me if the tables were turned.”

Lisa gave a maternal look, “Returning a favor is nice,” she set her mug down on the counter with a clack sound, “But you’re going far for someone who hasn’t seen him in years.” Her eyes nearly twinkled, “While you’re keeping him in check, make sure you check in with yourself.” Kate opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Grayson bustling down the stairs. He was mumbling something about catering and boat insurance. He offered to show her to her room, Cameron’s old room. Kate picked her backpacks up from the floor and followed him up the stairs.

She had thrown her bags onto the bed when her phone rang from her pocket. She brought it around and felt her brain jostle when she saw Wesley’s contact photo. Grayson was standing in the doorway when she picked up the phone.

“Hey uh babe,” Kate tried to disguise her exhausted voice. “Hey Katie,” Wesley’s tone was so comforting that it hurt Kate, “How have you been sunshine?”

“I’ve been good,” Kate attempted to sound upbeat, “I-uh—yeah things are okay.” “Have you been getting that time with your mom you wanted?” Wesley was truly, genuinely, outwardly concerned about her. Kate nodded and then realized he couldn’t see her, “Yeah, all the time…”

“Good, I’m happy for you.” Wesley took a breath over the phone, “Hey Katie, you know I’m not usually like this but you haven’t really been texting me and I’ve been getting worried.” “I’m with my mom,” Kate’s voice came too quickly, “I can do better, yeah better I’ll do better.”

“Are you---are you really—okay Katie,” Wesley shuffled the phone in his hand, “I’m here if you need me.” “Thanks Wes,” Kate sighed, “Love you.” She didn’t wait to hear it back before hanging up the phone. Kate tossed her phone into one of her bags and laid back onto the bed. She sighed audible and blew a fast stream of air from here lungs. From his place in the doorway, Grayson crept into the room, “That was him?” Kate closed her eyes from the bed and nodded, “Yeah, that was him.” Grayson sat on the edge of the bed; he rested his hands on his knees. He felt like the image of a man painted in pain, guilt, and grief. He felt like the world’s biggest idiot for not considering that Kate might have moved on after three years. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but decided against making contact. “I’m sorry,” he started with a low voice, “I—You can go home if you want.”

Kate shook her head and sat up to look at him, her dark tresses falling around her head, “I want to be here for you.” Her tone was assuring. Grayson chuckled and moved his palms outward, “Here for what? I don’t even know what I’m doing.” Grayson’s eyes met the floor as he hung his head low. Kate’s small palm found a home between his shoulders, “Not knowing what you need, is when you need people the most.” He looked up from where he hung his head to find her lips close to his. His pupils focused on her lips before traveling up to her eyes.

She kept her tone sweet and light, “My life wasn’t a dream. It’s not like you pulled me out of something spectacular and dragged me with you. I needed—I needed something different to show me what was wrong. You gave me that. You did something right for me.” She gave him a soft smile, “You did something right.” Grayson’s skin felt like it was on fire when she reached forward and wrapped her small arms around him in a hug. Her embrace was warm and smelled like her signature scent. He smiled into her shoulder: still a guilty mess but feeling less shameful.

Both of their veins rushed with blood. Their faces were closer together than they had been in years. Somehow, their bodies knew how to fit together like pieces of a puzzle. This was the first time they were physically touching each other since the last time they were together: that wretched morning with the pill at CVS. And yet, that wasn’t the memory that rushed to either of their minds. They closed their eyes, finding a comfortable piece in each other’s arms: arriving home after a long, wayward journey. 

From the dark spot Kate’s phone landed in after she threw it in her bag, it began to light up. Her phone beeped, pinged, and buzzed from within her backpack.

In his room, Grayson’s phone rang with calls from Ethan, Sherry, Calvin, Ryan, and his agents. His inbox filled with emails as he began to trend on twitter for the second time that week.

Downstairs, Lisa turned on the television to see an image of her son looking back at her. The screen lit up to reveal the paparazzi pictures of Kate and Grayson at his tiny home. One after another images swarmed the flat screen: Grayson and Kate stepping out of his Tesla; Grayson opening the front door and Kate following after him, a zoomed in shot of Grayson and Kate making dinner for each other; Grayson sitting outside the tiny home drinking his morning coffee; Kate stepping out of the tiny home, in one of his t-shirts and sitting next to him while he took his coffee.

The headlines and hashtags had a field day.

GRAYSON DOLAN RUNS OUT ON SHERRY MADDOX FOR MYSTERY BRUNETTE #DIRTYDOLAN CHEATER! THE REAL REASON GRAYSON DOLAN WENT MISSING

GRAYSON DOLAN FUCKED HIS MISTRESS SO HARD SHE WAS WALKING FUNNY THE DAY AFTER HIS ENGAGEMENT PARTY

Walking the Tightrope - Jamie and Claire AU

The year is 1919, and a 13 year old Claire Beauchamp has just lost both her parents to the Spanish Influenza. Alone in the world, and out of options, Claire runs away, stumbling across train tracks. When she wipes away her tears, she discovers a train, and is welcomed aboard. 


What happens when Claire finds out that the train is home to the Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus? Luckily, she meets a family – The Fraser’s, who help her learn the circus life. But, will she always want to stay? Or will she eventually grow up and realize it’s time to leave the circus and her best friend, Jamie… behind?


This is the first 3(ish) and only chapters of this fic. I will also add the outline for what this story was going to be at the end. I hope you enjoy it and I was excited to get into the twists of this story. Moodboard by @beaauchamp xx

Chapter One 

Boston, Massachusetts 1919

Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp was 13 years old when she ran away to the circus. Normally, young girls don’t run away to join circuses — especially not young British girls who had just moved to America.

Claire and her family were originally from England, the beautiful city of Oxford, and had relocated to the United States for Henry Beauchamp’s job. He was a veterinarian, and had been offered a position to teach the subject at Harvard University, an offer he couldn’t refuse.

Their family packed up their small home and moved across the Atlantic. Claire found it was rather easy to leave her home country, she hadn’t always been the best at making new friends. And besides, she had her parents to keep her company. Henry’s brother, Claire’s Uncle Lamb, was an archaeologist and had traveled with them to stay for a few months in between digs.

They had only been in Boston for eight months before the sickness came. It was 1919 and the Spanish Influenza was spreading rapidly throughout the country and throughout the world. Claire felt helpless as she watched people around her die.

“You must stay with Lamb, darling,” her mother said, voice barely above a whisper. “He’ll take good care of you.”

“But I want to stay with you, mum,” Claire gripped her mother’s hand, aware of how hot her skin felt against her own. “I want to stay with you and papa.”

Julia Beauchamp had woken up that morning with a chill that rapidly turned into a fever. It was a miracle that Claire wasn’t ill. Her father, Henry hadn’t been so lucky. He lay in the bed next to Julia, chest rising and falling slowly, skin moist with fever.

“We won’t be here much longer,” Julia said and did her best to squeeze Claire’s hand. “You must make a good life for yourself. I know you can.”

“Mother!” Claire weeped as her mother’s grip loosened. Bent over the bed, she threw herself on top of both her parents, desperate to give them all the life that was in her.

“Oh, Claire, dear,” her uncle Lamb raced in and pulled her off the bed, his own eyes filled with tears as he watched his brother and sister-in-law leave the earth. “You mustn’t look, child.”

“I want my parents!” Claire cried against her uncle’s chest, her body shaking and not able to contain the grief she felt. There was nothing that could have been done — nothing that anyone could have done.

She had just lost both of her parents, what could have been worse?

It was barely twenty-four hours later that her favorite Uncle Lamb had fallen ill and died of the Spanish influenza. Claire Beauchamp was now an orphan with no one to turn to and nowhere to go.

An orphanage was the only suitable place for a girl like her. The thought of being stuffed into a house with tens of other children without a family made her stomach twist into knots.

Claire stood by herself, hands clasped firmly in front of her, trying not to cry as she watched her parents and uncle’s caskets be lowered into the ground. It took everything in her not to throw herself down and demand to be buried along with them. What did she have to live for?

Alone in the world and with nowhere to go, she ran from the funeral with nothing but the black dress on her body and the Oxfords on her feet. She thought she could make it on her own — survive all by herself.

There was no particular destination in mind, but the air around her was suffocating and every look of sympathy shot her way made her want to scream. So Claire turned, tears streaming down her face and began to run even faster.

The wind whipped past her face, salty tears flying behind her as she pumped her arms and legs to carry her as far away as possible. No one stopped her. No one knew her.

It wasn’t long before her chest began to burn and the tears filled her eyes to the point where she had to stop. When she looked up, she saw iron train tracks and followed them, only hoping that soon something would come and take her away.

As the sky darkened and the night grew cold, Claire shivered and wished more than anything for her family to be alive. But wishing wouldn’t bring them back. So with every step, Claire pushed out the memories she had of Henry, Julia and Lambert Beauchamp — because thinking of them only brought pain.

Stumbling along the tracks, her feet aching and stomach rumbling, Claire knew she needed to find a place to sleep. Lifting her head up, she saw lights in the distance — lights of a train. A train would have food and people, surely someone would be kind enough to help her find her way, or perhaps they would let her ride along.

With careful steps in the dark, Claire made her way to the last car of the train and stepped off the tracks to peer at the side of the boxcar.

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus

A circus.

Claire’s eyes went wide, wondering what kind of animals lived inside the small confines of the boxcars. She had never been to the circus, but had always wanted to go. Claire loved animals and was always quick to make friends with them in whatever country they were visiting.

Voices came from further down and Claire walked forward into the light.

“Psst,” came from behind her and she whipped her head around, back into the dark. Not seeing anything, Claire shrugged her shoulders and kept moving forward. “Psst,” she heard the sound again.

“You!” A voice said quietly from above her. Claire looked up and gasped, jumping back to see a head sticking out of the boxcar. “I’m talkin’ to ye lass!”

“Me?” Claire pointed at herself.

“Do you see any other little girls around here?” The man said in a thick Scottish accent.

She shook her head and before she could do anything else, the man stuck his hand out, offering her a way up. With no other option, Claire reached up, grabbed it and was pulled up into the boxcar.

“Yer a wee thing,” the man said and for the first time, Claire got a good look at him. He was tall, with wide shoulders and had jet black hair. “What are ye doin’ out here so late at night?”

“I—“ She stammered, suddenly wondering if she made a mistake running away.

“Where are yer parents, lass?” The man said and when Claire met his eye, it hit her, the fact that she would never wake up to the smell of her father’s chocolate chip pancakes again or hear her mother sing along to the radio every evening. Tears fell down her cheeks and her chest caved in. The man with the jet black hair caught her in his arms as she began to fall to her knees and he held her against his chest.

“Shhh, I didna mean to upset ye,” he spoke softly. “Tis only it’s no every day young lasses come walkin’ beside the tracks.” The man ran his hand gently over Claire’s head, smoothing down the unruly curls.

“I have a lad about yer age, maybe a couple years younger. My daughter is probably near yer age though,” he said, trying to soothe her with conversation. “Usually the brothers dinna take a family on the road wi’ them, but they’ve allowed it this time.”

“Y-you have children?” Claire stammered as she wiped her face on her sleeve and looked up at the man. He released her, making sure she could stand on her own two feet.

“Aye, two of them, the wee numpties,” he laughed. “And my wife, they’re all part of the act, ye ken.” Claire raised her brows, unsure of what “act” he was talking about. He saw the confusion on her face, “Och, have ye never been to see a show before?”

“No, never.”

“My wife Ellen and I are lion tamers,” he said proudly, crossing his arms over his chest and leaned back against the wall of the cart. “My son and daughter are what ye could say cub tamers in training,” he laughed.

“You tame lions?” Claire asked, eyes wide for the second time that night. “I’ve never even seen a lion!”

“Ah, I thought I detected an accent,” he smiled. “That makes this even more curious. What’s a Sassenach like ye doin’ here?”

“A Sassenach?” Claire asked as she took a seat on a cot nearby, her legs unable to hold her up after a day of running and walking along the tracks.

“An English person, just a wee nickname,” the man smirked.

“I moved here with my parents about a year ago, we’re from Oxford.”

“Ah, Oxford,” he smiled. “I went there once as a lad, beautiful place. Yer parents, ye say? Where are they? Do they ken their daughter is runnin’ away from home to join the circus?” He laughed and then the laughter died as he caught sight of her face.

“My parents are dead,” she nearly whispered and the man dropped to his knees in front of her. “My uncle is dead. I have no one.”

“Oh lass,” he took her small hand in his. “I’m sae sorry, I— I’m sorry for yer loss.”

“Their funeral was today, it’s why I’m dressed like this,” Claire pointed at her dress. “I did run away, but I didn’t know where to run to.”

“It’s every kids dream to join the circus is it no?” The man put his thumb under her chin, lifting it up. “Ye’ve a place here, if ye want it.”

“But I can’t join the circus!” Claire laughed, her emotions running on overdrive. “I’m just a girl and a circus is no place for me.”

“Try tellin’ that to my daughter Jenny, she’ll be sayin’ the opposite,” he smiled. “She loves the animals, helps take care of them when she’s not performin’. She’s wi’ her Mam and brother up in the car ahead eatin’ dinner.”

Claire didn’t know what to say at this offer. Join the circus? It all felt like a fantasy. No one really ran away to the circus and certainly not young girls like her. But she didn’t exactly have a lot of options — no family, no house, no money.

“I’m Claire Beauchamp,” she offered her hand to the man.

“Brian Fraser, lass. Pleased to make yer acquaintance,” he kissed the back of her hand. “So is that a yes? Are ye runnin’ away to join us?”

It could’ve been much worse and as Claire looked around the small train car, she thought she might as well give it a try — the least she could get out of it was a hot meal and a night’s sleep.

“Yes. I’m running away to join the circus,” she smiled for the first time in days.

“Tha!” Brian smiled. “Ye’ve just made the best decision of yer young life, lassie. Now,” he stood up, taking her hand. “We need to feed ye and then find ye some place to sleep. I expect ye’ll be needin’ a wee nap soon.”

Claire followed Brian through a small door and through another into another train car. They walked through several others, past people with curious eyes and hushed tones, wondering who she was no doubt. Claire had never seen so many people crammed into such a small space before. They finally came into the train car Brian was looking for and he let go of her hand to walk over to a red headed woman, kissing her on the mouth.

They seemed to be in a train car where people ate, the place was lined with small tables and chairs, plates of food in front of everyone. Brian motioned for her to join him and she stood shyly next to him while he introduced her.

“I found a young lass outside,” Brian smiled, placing his arm around her shoulder. “This is Claire Beauchamp, she’s from England and she’s run away to the circus.”

“Run away?” The girl who must be his daughter Jenny said from beside her mother. “I didna ken anyone like ye would want to come and live here.”

“Who wouldn’t want to live here, Janet?” A young boy said beside her, looking at her with the bluest eyes Claire had ever seen.

“Claire will be joinin’ us for dinner tonight,” Brian smiled and then pulled up a chair for her. “Jamie, Janet, say a proper hello to the lass.”

The young girl stuck her hand out over the table, “I’m Janet, but you can call me Jenny. I’m fourteen. This is my younger brother, James.”

“But ye can call me, Jamie,” the young boy offered her his hand from beside her. He had a mop of curly red hair and mischievous glint in his eye. “Did Da tell ye we tame lions?!”

“He did,” Claire nodded. “I’ve never seen a lion before though.”

Jamie gasped, frightening Claire and he grabbed her arm, “Ye’ve never seen a lion? Jenny, did ye hear the lass?”

“I heard her fine well, Jamie,” Jenny rolled her eyes, but then smiled at Claire. “We can show ye them tomorrow when we unload”

“Unload?”

“Aye, when we unload to set up for the circus, we’ll be in Boston for the next two nights and then it’s on to another city,” Jenny smiled.

A plate of food was set down in front of Claire and her stomach made a very loud noise at the sight of it. She hadn’t eaten all day — she hadn’t eaten much of anything since she found out the news about her parents. She grabbed the fork and began to eat quickly, not caring if the food was too hot.

“Slow down lass,” Ellen smiled from across the table. “Ye need no worry about it disappearin’.”

“Sorry,” Claire said shyly, her cheeks turning bright red.

“Dinna fash, lass. I just dinna want to see ye gettin’ a belly ache. My Jamie gets those when he eats too fast,” Ellen smirked.

“Mam!” Jamie shouted. “Dinna talk about my belly in front of her!”

Brian snorted over his food, which only made Claire blush harder. She took her next bites a bit slower, savoring the taste.

“I never asked before,” Claire said to Brian once her plate was clean. “You’re from Scotland. You all are,” she looked around. “What are you doing here then?”

Brian glanced around at his family, then finally his eyes focused on Claire. “I suppose ye can say that we ran away too.”

Ellen took her husband’s hand, squeezing it so tightly her knuckles went white.

“We still need to find ye a place to sleep, lass,” Brian said a moment later. “There’s probably room for ye to join in our car tonight.”

“I can show her, Da!” Jamie said beside her and he nearly jumped out of his chair.

Laughing, Brian smiled, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Aye, son. Take her to the car, we’ll be there in a minute.”

“Follow me, Claire,” Jamie smiled, offering his hand to her. She took it, following the boy back through the train cars she had come through. They found themselves in the same car Brian had pulled her into. As she looked around now, she saw that it was rather cozy — as cozy and nice as a train car could get she supposed.

“This is where I sleep,” Jamie said as he pointed up at the top bunk. “Then Jenny sleeps in the middle and there’s actually an empty bunk on the bottom. I guess that’s where ye can sleep.”

“You all sleep in here?” Claire said.

“Aye, Mam and Da take the cot in the corner, tis small, but it’s enough,” Jamie smiled. He couldn’t have been but a couple of years younger than her, but he was just as tall as her, if not taller. He seemed kind and not for the first time, Claire wondered what an entire family was doing joining the circus.

“My Da said ye were runnin’ away…” Jamie said to her as he came to stand in front of her. “Why, Sassenach?”

“Oh you too?” Claire smirked. “Your father called me that earlier, I suppose I better get used to it.”

“Och, I didna mean any offense!” Jamie put up both his hands. “Yer English is all.”

“No, it’s alright,” Claire smiled and tucked a stray curl behind her ear.

“Ye didna answer my question…” Jamie said softly.

“I—“ Claire felt her chest tighten and her eyes water. “I’d rather not talk about it just yet.”

“Oh that’s fine, Claire.” Jamie reached for her hand, squeezing it tight. “Ye’ll see soon enough how great this place really is. It’s like a dream!”

“I’ve just woken up from a nightmare of my own,” Claire said, her shoulders drooping. Jamie lifted her chin with his fingers.

“Ye’ve nothin’ to be scarit of, Sassenach. Not so long as I’m wi’ ye,” he smiled, squeezing her hand again.

“You’re very kind, Jamie. Much kinder than I deserve,” Claire smiled. She had to admit that Jamie was rather cute and very charming. Perhaps this circus thing wouldn’t be so bad after all. “I’m feeling rather tired.”

“Och, of course,” Jamie smiled. “As I said, the bottom bunk can be yers.”

“Thank you, Jamie.” Claire let go of his hand and climbed into the bottom bunk, sighing as she slipped off her shoes. She winced as she felt the blisters, but tried to keep quiet as Jamie climbed up to the top bunk.

“I’m glad yer here, Sassenach,” he said a few minutes later as they both lay quietly. “I was wishin’ for a friend.”

Claire didn’t know what to say so she turned over on her side and let herself weep. Only hours before, she had buried her family and said goodbye to the life she knew and now she was lying in a bunk on a circus train.

Her eyes grew heavy and soon the tears stopped as she slipped into a deep dreamless slumber.

Chapter 2

Claire woke to the quiet whispers of Brian and Ellen Fraser. She didn’t want them to know she was awake just yet, so she kept her eyes shut tight and face buried in the pillow.

“What is she going to do here, Brian?” Ellen said softly and glanced over at Claire lying still asleep on the bottom bunk. “Ye ken fine well that this is no’ a proper life for a girl like her.”

“Jenny’s here is she no’?” Brian said.

“Aye,” Ellen clicked her tongue. “But she’s our daughter, and she didna have much say in the matter at the time if ye recall.”

Brian rubbed his hands over his face, sighing as he looked at the young girl.

“She’s got nowhere else to go, Ellen. Her parents and uncle died of the influenza,” he said softly and Claire realized that his own children must still be asleep above her.

“Christ,” Ellen muttered under her breath. “So she really did run away to the circus, the poor lass.”

“Ye ken just as well as I do what that grief feels like,” Brian said to his wife. “The poor lass is heartbroken, I’m sure we can find somethin’ here for her to do.”

Ellen leaned against her husband, silent for a moment before nodding. “We must help her.”

“Aye,” Brian kissed his wife’s forehead. “I’ll go and talk to the brothers. Let them know about our newest passenger. I’ll find ye and the bairns at breakfast after setup.”

A sliding door opened and closed and Brian Fraser left the small boxcar. Claire could hear sniffling from the corner and opened one eye to see Ellen wiping away tears that fell down her cheeks. Compassion stirred Claire to rise from her bed and she sat down beside Ellen on the small cot.

Without saying anything, she took Ellen’s hand in hers and squeezed it. The older woman smiled down at her, squeezing back.

“I’m glad that yer here, Claire,” Ellen smiled and ran her fingers softly over Claire’s cheek. “We’ll do the best we can to take care of ye, and make ye feel at home.”

Claire’s throat felt tight, and she knew that if she spoke she would burst into tears, so she wrapped her arms around Ellen and buried her head against the woman’s chest. There was nothing quite like a mother’s embrace — warm and soothing, like being wrapped in the arms of an angel.

The two of them sat there for a moment longer, quiet as they both grieved for their own loss. Claire looked up and finally released her arms from around Ellen when Jamie and Jenny both started to wake up.

“Morning my darlins,” Ellen said to her children.

“Morning mam,” Jenny said, wiping her eyes as she jumped out of bed, landing on her feet.

Jamie yawned and jumped down as well, rubbing his hands over his eyes. He blinked and looked at Claire, as if remembering that she was there. “Morning Mam, Claire,” he smiled softly.

“Are ye ready for yer first day at the circus, Sassenach?” Jamie asked, a grin spreading across his lips. It was infectious, and Claire found herself smiling too.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

++++++

“So, what exactly do you and Jenny do all day?” Claire asked as they walked over to where the large tents were being setup. It looked like quite a job to do. Men and women were lined up in a circle, each holding rope, and tall wooden beams were on their sides, ready to be lifted. Claire didn’t envy their job.

“We help wi’ anythin’ that needs to be done,” Jenny said. “I usually help wi’ the cookin’ and feedin’ everyone. Well, as much as our cook Mrs. Fitz will allow me to since I’m only fourteen. She’s Scottish as well!”

Jamie bumped against Claire, “And I help with the animals! No’ the big ones though. Mam willna let me near them.”

“That’s cause you’re a wee ten year old,” Jenny smirked and winked at Claire.

“I’m turning eleven next month!” Jamie scowled and kicked at a nearby rock. He hated to feel like the odd one out. “I usually just walk around and see who needs help. Since I am ten…” he sighed. “I can only do so much. The circus is a tough job, ye’ll see soon enough, Sassenach.”

“It sounds like it,” Claire agreed.

They found the food tent, which had already been set up the night before. The smell of fresh eggs and bacon made Claire’s stomach growl and they got into line. Claire looked around the tent and saw mostly women there, as the men were still setting up the larger tent that would house the main event.

“Are you the only other kids here?” Claire asked the Frasers. She hadn’t paid much attention to anything when she boarded the train last night.

“Aye,” Jamie nodded, scooping a large helping of eggs onto his plate. “We’re also the only family here too. The circus is no’ exactly a life most people choose to raise bairns in.”

“But, we havena been here our whole lives either,” Jenny added. “We were both born in Scotland. Ye see, we moved here five years ago.”

They found Ellen sitting at a table, a plate of food already in front of her.

“Good to see ye, Claire,” Ellen smiled gently. “I hope my bairns havena been tellin’ ye too many wild stories?”

“No,” Claire shook her head. “Jenny was just telling me about when you moved here.”

At that, Ellen froze, her complexion going pale and she looked over at her daughter who shook her head slightly.

“Ye’ll have to forgive me, Claire,” Ellen said. “I dinna like to talk about our life before the circus. Those times are better left in the past.”

“That’s all right,” Claire nodded. That was certainly how Claire felt now. She would much rather leave all of her pain and grief behind her, and try and start a new life. Granted, this wasn’t what she had in mind, but it was better than living in an orphanage.

A few minutes later, Brian Fraser came over with his own plate. He was sweaty from putting up the tent, but didn’t seem to mind. Most people here were covered in a thin layer of sweat and dirt. Living on train wasn’t exactly all that clean, Claire realized.

“After ye eat, Da, can ye come wi’ us to show Claire the lions?” Jamie asked his father.

“Aye,” Brian nodded, chowing down on piece of bacon. “But ye kids ken the drill. Dinna stand too close while we feed them.” He turned to look at Claire, “The lions will be hungry this mornin’ and it only takes almost gettin’ yer hand bit off once, to practice extreme caution around them.”

“I don’t want to get too close at all!” Claire squeaked. She had been around animals all her life, her father had been a veterinarian. But, he had never worked on a lion before — only house cats and dogs, with the occasional horse.

Once Brian was done with his breakfast, Ellen and Jenny stayed behind to help with the food and cleanup, while Brian, Jamie and Claire went to see the animals. They were still in their cages, but would be unloaded into their own tent before the show.

“We have the lions of course,” Jamie said excitedly, almost bouncing as they walked. “Then we have the horses, pigs, giraffes, one elephant, monkeys, zebras —“

“Zebras?!” Claire gasped.

“Oh yes,” Jamie grinned. “They’re my favorite after the lions. A bit like horses, really, which I also love, but the stripes are the best!”

Claire could immediately tell when the reached the animals cages, as the smell was quite strong. As was the loud roar that one of the lions gave as they approached. Another man was already there with a bucket full of meat, which the lion was eyeing and trying to get through the bars.

“Stay back here,” Brian instructed them before going to join the man.

“That’s auld Alec,” Jamie pointed. “He’s in charge of takin’ care of the animals.”

“All of them?” Claire said, awestruck.

“Aye, I help sometimes, but he does most of the work,” Jamie said. They watched from the trees as Alec and Brian began to feed the lions. Brian distracted the lions, moving them to one side of the cage, while Alec opened it up and set the bucket of meat inside. Then the lions pounced on their food and ate it ferociously.

“Wow,” Claire gasped, grabbing onto Jamie’s arm.

“Dinna fash, Sassenach,” Jamie grinned. “They’re no’ as scary after they’ve eaten. Later, I’ll show ye how to pet one. They can be quite friendly.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” Claire laughed.

Brian returned to them, and auld Alec followed closely behind. “This is young Claire Beauchamp who has come to join us,” Brian introduced her.

“Tis nice to meet ye little lass,” Alec offered her his hand and she shook it.

“We need to find somethin’ for the lassie to do,” Brian quirked his brow.

“My father worked with animals,” Claire said shyly. “All kinds, but not any lions or elephants.”

“He was a veterinarian?” Alec asked.

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, perhaps some of his skills rubbed off on ye lass,” Alex grinned. “How’d ye like to come wi’ me and see the rest of the animals? I could use all the help I could get!”

Claire looked over at Jamie who nodded encouragingly, as did Brian. Jamie stayed back with his father, leaving Claire to follow the animal carer. The thought of being around animals was a small comfort, at least she had vague knowledge of their needs.

She would never forget one warm afternoon when her father was seeing to a pregnant dog. Claire had stayed up with her father all night, comforting the dog as she gave birth, and making sure the puppies were seen after.

“Is she in pain, papa?” Claire asked, petting the head of the golden Labrador.

“A bit, my dear,” Henry Beauchamp replied. “Giving birth is no easy feat. But she’s a strong girl,” he stroked the dog’s bulging stomach. “It should be within the hour.”

Claire and her father had stayed up late into the night, watching over the dog. She belonged to a woman from town, but all Claire wanted to know was who would keep the puppies.

“How many puppies will she have?”

“I think perhaps four,” her father said as he moved his hand over the dog’s belly. “But we won’t know until she has them. Why are you asking my love?” He cocked a quizzical brow at his daughter.

“Oh, you know,” Claire grinned. “Maybe Mrs. Wilcox doesn’t want four new puppies. Maybe she only wants three!”

Her father laughed, “That’s something you can ask Mrs. Wilcox tomorrow. And of course, you’ll have to ask your mother.”

“I will, papa,” Claire smiled and went back to petting the dog’s head. “When I grow up, I want to do what you do. Being around animals all day must be fun.”

Henry rose to his feet to check that he had everything he needed — sutures for after the birth, plenty of towels. “It is rather fun, my dear. But, I will warn you, that it can be quite hard too.”

“Why is that?”

“It’s never easy telling someone that their pet is ill,” Henry frowned, coming back to join Claire on the ground. “Or feeling like you can’t do anything to help. Not everything can be solved with medicine, I’m afraid. But I try.”

At this, Claire felt sadness wash over her. As little girl, they had a pet cat, but he had passed away before they moved to Boston. She knew all too well what it was like to be told that your animal was sick.

“Well, you can still be there for someone and try and make them feel better,” Claire replied. “I think I still wanna do what you do.”

Henry reached out and smoothed back his daughter’s unruly curls. “Then you shall, my darling. You shall do whatever your heart desires.” He bent and kissed her forehead. “Your mother and I will always be here to support you.”

Auld Alec showed Claire all the animals. Claire was gobsmacked seeing so many creatures she had never seen before. She had heard about the circus coming into town, and thought about asking her parents to take her, but that was before…

“I bet yer Da never worked on zebras, aye?”

“No,” Claire shook her head as they approached one. “A few horses, but never a zebra.”

“They’re a lot like horses, of course,” Alec said and reached his hand through the bars. “Go ahead and reach yer hand in, she willna bite.”

Slowly, Claire approached the cage, trying to be careful as she reached her hand inside. The zebra nodded her head forward against Claire’s hand, letting her pet her. The zebra made a snorting sound, and Claire laughed.

“Does she have a name?”

“Zoe,” Alec smiled down at Claire. “Zoe the zebra.”

“Fitting,” Claire nuzzled Zoe’s nose.

As the morning rolled on, Claire stayed with Alec and watched as he interacted with every animal. Treating them with such care and gentleness, as if they weren’t really animals at all, but humans.

Finally, they got word that the animals were set to be moved into their proper tent. Men came to unhook their cages and wheeled them into the tent. The horses were let out to walk and stretch their legs, and Claire immediately gravitated to them.

She was barely half the height of the horse, so she came up to it carefully, not wanting to disturb it. Alec had tied them up to a nearby pole and they were munching on a trough full of hay.

“Here,” came a voice from behind her, making her jump. She turned to find Jamie, holding a bright red apple. “Donas loves these.”

“Thank you,” Claire took the apple from Jamie and walked around to the horse’s head, and held out the apple. He snorted, looking her up and down before placing his wet mouth on her hand and snatching the apple up. “He did like it!”

“Aye, told ye,” Jamie grinned. “I love the horses.” He came to stand beside her, reaching out a hand to rub over Donas’ nose. “Tha thu nad bheathach math,” Jamie said in a foreign tongue.

“What did you say?” Claire asked.

“Oh,” Jamie’s cheeks blushed. “I didna even realize I was speakin’. Twas Gaelic. Just callin’ him a fine creature. I find that speakin’ to the animals in Gaelic helps to calm them.”

“Would you teach me some then?” Claire asked. “It looks like I’ll be helping auld Alec with the animals!”

“That’s great!” Jamie smiled. “What I say to the horses is really just gibberish. No’ meant to even mean anythin’, but try sayin’ what I did — tha thu nad bheathach math.”

It was a language Claire had certainly never heard before. Her mother spoke a bit of French and had taught Claire a few words and phrases, but Gaelic was very different.

“Tha thu nad,” she said slowly. “Be-heath-ach math?”

“Let it roll off yer tongue,” Jamie said the phrase again.

“Tha thu nad bheathnach math,” Claire said again, this time getting it as closely as she could to how Jamie had said it. “Well, with practice, I think I’ll get there.”

“Aye, ye’ll do great,” Jamie smiled. “I’m glad ye found yer place, Sassenach. It’ll be nice to have ye here.”

“Yes,” Claire rubbed her hand along the side of Donas’ neck. “I think it will be rather nice here after all.”

She hadn’t even been at the circus for a full twenty-four hours, but already it was beginning to feel like home. The animals would be her new companions, as well as the Fraser’s who had welcomed her in as one of their own. Running away to the circus was the best idea Claire ever had.

Chapter 3

7 years later… New York City 1926

Claire thought often of her first night on the train — how alone she had felt and like she would never belong anywhere. It had been nearly seven years since then and the circus was now her home.

She wasn’t properly educated, but her love for animals kept her with a full time position with the Ringling Brothers. Jenny Fraser was her best friend, along with her younger brother Jamie, of course.

They traveled from city to city, amazing people with the greatest show on earth. Wonders and mystery surrounded them and Claire felt she was part of something truly spectacular.

There were times she thought she should find proper work, especially on her eighteenth birthday two years ago. Jamie had set up a picnic by the horses, Claire’s favorite of the wild menagerie.

“I think I need to leave, Jamie,” Claire said as she took a bite of a strawberry. They were sitting under the tent where all the animals were kept and it was rather smelly, but Claire had grown used to it over the years.

“Leave? Why would ye do that?” Jamie said as he reached for a cracker.  

“I don’t know,” Claire sighed. “I’m an twenty year old girl, traveling around with a circus, surely I can find a real job out there.”

Jamie grew quiet, his brows knitting together and he crossed his arms over his knees. “If you want to then you should.”

“I didn’t think you would want me to go,” Claire said.

“I don’t,” Jamie looked up at her. “But if ye want to go…”

Sighing, Claire laid back on the blanket, followed by Jamie. They had grown close over the years, able to tell each other anything and everything. He had always been there for her as he said he would be. On the anniversary of her parents death, he always made sure she was alright and was there to distract her if she needed — or to be a shoulder to cry on when she needed that.  

“It’s not like I want too… I just feel I should. Make a proper life.”

“Ye have a family here, Claire,” Jamie turned onto his side, lifting his head up on his elbow. “Ye ken that.”

“Of course,” she smiled. “It was just a silly thought, Jamie. Nothing more.”

“I hope so,” Jamie said as he brushed a lock of hair off her forehead. Something in Claire’s stomach fluttered whenever he touched her and she wanted him to do it again. Jamie was much taller than her now, and had grown into handsome young man.

“Sassenach,” Jamie said. “I dinna want ye to leave.”

“I won’t,” she whispered and then his lips pressed against hers. A small sound left her lips in surprise, but then she relaxed, wrapping her arms around his neck. Before she could really taste his lips, Jamie pulled back, rising quickly to his feet.

“I’m sorry, Claire, I dinna ken what came over me,” his face was bright red and he was turned away from her.

“It’s alright, Jamie,” Claire sat up, her heart hammering. She had always wondered what it would be like to kiss him, but he apparently regretted it.

“I shouldna have done that,” Jamie cursed in Gaelic and before Claire could say that she liked it, Jamie had stormed out of the tent, leaving Claire alone, sitting on the picnic blanket.

++++++

Neither of them had spoken of the kiss since then and that was two years ago. Claire wondered if Jamie even remembered it had happened or maybe it had been so bad, he had forgotten it.

Claire thought he liked her, but clearly he didn’t and things had gone back to how they were before. Claire knew she fell in love easily — she always had a crush and for a long time her crush had been Jamie.

She would watch him nearly every night in the show, holding up hoops for the lions to jump through, admiring the hard muscles of his body. He was just two years younger than her, but already he looked like a man.

It came to no surprise, however, just how fast she fell for a man one night when Claire was introduced to a young investor by the name of Philip Wylie. He was in New York to see the show and was interested in becoming a partner with the Brothers.

“You’ve been with the circus for seven years?” He asked her over a drink one night. The show had just closed and people were still loitering around. She knew he was an important man by the fine material of his suit. Claire wanted to impress him, and help the circus bring in more money.

“Yes,” she smiled, “Joined when I was just a young girl.”

“That’s quite impressive,” Philip smiled, his hand resting lightly on her knee. “What is it that you do?”

“I help with the animals. Taking care of them, checking that they’re alright to perform for the night,” she placed her hand over his. Philip was at nine years older than her, and already she was smitten.

They talked for the rest of the evening and he escorted her back to her train car, kissing her on the cheek and promising to see her soon.

Blushing, Claire placed her hand over where Philip’s lips had just been, sighing as she leaned against the wall. Just then, Jamie came through the door, still wearing his costume from the performance.

He glanced over at her, his fingers deftly unbuttoning his coat. “Ye look happy.”

“I am,” she smiled. “I’ve just had drinks with a man who wants to invest with the circus.”

Jamie stopped undressing and stared over at her, noticing the glossy look in her eye and the red tint to her cheeks. “Ye mean that stuffy old man I saw ye wi’?”

“He is not stuffy! And he is not old!” Claire picked up a shoe nearby and tossed it at him, narrowly missing his head. “He was kind and charming, much nicer than you,” she rolled her eyes.

“Och,” Jamie grunted and finished taking off his coat. “Just be careful wi’ him. Next thing ye know, he’ll be wantin’ to take ye away.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” Claire crossed her arms, becoming annoyed with him.

“Well ye said ye wouldna leave,” Jamie turned to her. “Not for a proper job as ye say so I wouldna like to think ye’d leave for a man either.”

Claire’s mouth dropped open in shock and she crossed the small space to stand in front of Jamie, having to look up at him. “I’ve had a couple of drinks with the man, Jamie! Not accepted a proposal!”

“Forget I said anythin’,” Jamie ran his hands back through his hair, turning to leave to another car.

“Fine,” Claire huffed. “I’ll do just that, Jamie Fraser.”

He glanced at her, his eyes full of something Claire didn’t quite recognize before sliding the door closed and leaving her there on her own.

She knew it was important for Philip Wylie to want to invest in the circus, so perhaps she had flirted a bit too much and let him place his hands a little too high on her leg. But nothing would come of it, and besides… Claire would never leave the circus. Not for a real job, and certainly not for a man.

Outline for this fic:

Chapter 1: 1919. Claire’s background. She runs away to the circus, meets the Fraser’s

Chapter 2: 1919. Claire’s first day at the circus, she helps the Fraser’s and then Brian asks her what she’s good at. She tells him that her father was a vet and she was always around to help. He tells her they have a vet but she can be his young apprentice.

Chapter 3: 1926. Claire meets Philip Wylie. Two days later one of the animals gets sick and she stays overnight to keep it company. Jamie finds her and stays with her, on the other side of the train car. They talk more about what Claire would do if she left. Jamie tells Claire about Willie and how he died of the Spanish influenza when they came here. Claire asks him why they came to America, but he won’t talk about it.

Chapter 4: Jump forward two weeks later, and Claire has drinks again with Wylie. She kisses him and he puts his hands on her. Jamie sees them kissing and thinks that Wylie is trying to hurt Claire so he goes over and punches the guy. The next morning, Wylie shows up with a black eye and forgives Jamie, and says he’ll invest in the show on one condition - that Claire marries him.

Chapter 5: Claire feels like she has to marry Wylie to save the show and also she tells herself she loves him. Jamie is jealous, because he’s been in love with Claire since he first met her. That night he gets distracted at the show when he sees Wylie whispering into Claire’s ear and the lion scratches him. Jamie is rushed into the medical tent and the show continues. Claire helps tend to him and cries over him. Hours later as he is recovering, Claire tells Jamie that she’s going away with Wylie.

Chapter 6: Two weeks later, it’s Claire’s last day of the circus. Jamie tells her why they came to America. His father owed his uncles money, and after a time when Brian couldn’t pay, Colum wanted to show him a lesson. So he told one of his men to set fire to the small chicken coop, but a wind caught and it ended up burning down their house. They all escaped. Finally, she won’t have to be a girl on the run anymore. She will live with Wylie in New York City, and still be able to come to some of the shows on the east coast.

Chapter 7: Two months later. It’s two days before Claire’s wedding to Wylie, and she hears from him that the train crashed. He’s angry about losing money that he just invested and Claire keeps asking him if anyone is hurt. He finally tells her that six people died in a fire. Wylie tells Claire that she can’t go back to the circus, she left that behind and she belongs to him now. “I belong to nobody.” Claire leaves in search to find out if Jamie has died.

Chapter 8: Claire makes it to where the train car is. There’s still smoke from two days before and Claire finds Jenny who is crying. Claire thinks immediately that Jamie is dead, but Jenny is crying because one of the animals died. Claire cries with her and then asks about Jamie. Jenny tells her that all wounded men and women are at the hospital and so she takes her there. Claire finds Jamie and he’s badly wounded. Burns on his arms and legs. She sits with him and while he is asleep she tells him that she loves him and that she isn’t with Wylie anymore.

Chapter 9: Jamie starts to recover. He admits his feelings for Claire. He says they don’t have to get married just yet since they’re both young. He knows now that with a few of the train cars damaged, it’ll be weeks maybe months before they get back on the road. Jamie says that he wants to go to school and become a vet. Women aren’t allowed at school yet. They make plans to one day open up their own vet clinic.

Chapter 10: Once Jamie is out of the hospital, they walk back to the site of the crash. He tells Claire just how horrible it was. They both feel sad that this part of their lives is coming to an end. Jamie’s parents tell him that they will stay with the circus as long as they need. Jamie takes Claire back to the small hotel room and they make love for the first time with each other.

Epilogue: nine years later, Jamie has graduated from vet school and they have their first clinic open. They already have two children and live in the country, where Jamie travels to work. They have a whole farm of animals.  

Getsurei: Prolouge

Chihiro grunted as her mama dropped her down onto her futon, her wide and curious eyes watching her movements as she paced around the room. She hastily grabbed different items and stuffed them into a bag. Her confusion shifted to slight fear as she watched her mama grow increasingly more frustrated with trying to shove something else in the bag. Mama let out an inhuman growl when she could no longer force anything inside it, slamming her hands down in defeat.

“Mama, what’s going on?” She questioned, this wasn’t normal.

Mama paused to compose herself, then turned around a sad smile gracing her delicate features. Quietly, she moved to her, settling on her knees with a sigh. Hesitantly she brought her hands up to rest on Chihiro’s face, smoothing over the rough, scaly patches on her cheeks with the pad of her thumb. She took a deep breath, shaking her head at her daughter.

“Oh, Hiro… mama has to leave…” she whispered sadly.

Chihiro shook her head confused, eyebrows furrowing angrily.

“Is it because of those mean people in the village?” She said agitatedly.

Her mama simply shook her head with a little smile, hushing her as she brought her to lie against her chest. One hand ran through her hair while the other ran up and down across her spine, soothing her.

“No, no, it’s not just because of that… Mama has to go to keep you and Papa safe, okay?”

“We’re safest with you,” she shouted in protest, not able to grasp the situation at all.

“Hush, Hiro... “

Chihiro glared at the tatami on the floor quietly, thinking about the circumstance she was under. She didn’t understand why it had to be her mama; why not one of the mean village kid’s mamas? Was this Kami-Sama's way of punishing her for being different?

“It’s not fair,” she finally spoke up with a shaky voice, “why do you have to go?”

Her mother sighed, pulling away to look into her eyes “Mama doesn’t want to go, but life isn’t fair, Chihiro…”

Chihiro looked up at her, those vibrant green eyes that reflected her own filled with pain and sadness. The look was foreign on her Mama’s face -- it was wrong. It made Chihiro’s well up with tears, but she refused to cry, she had to be strong like her Mama.

“Tatsu,” she whispered the nickname, grabbing her attention, “do you know why that’s your nickname?”

Chihiro shook her head, “Uh, because I look like a dragon?”

“Not quite…” Mama chuckled, “it’s because you are strong, much like a dragon, you’ve got tough skin,” she placed her hands on her scale-like markings on her cheeks, rubbing her thumb over them, “well... more like scales, but you’re strong. You’ll be okay without me, you’ve got Papa, Jiji, Baba... even Mizuki to help you.”

She paused, thinking something over before moving her hands to the necklace around her neck. Chihiro had never seen her without it since she had been able to remember. She lifted it off from around her neck, holding it out so Chihiro could admire it closer, the dim lighting of the room glinting off its rough surface.

“Mama…?” Chihiro said quietly.

“This is my family heirloom, my Mama gave it to me and her Mama gave it to her, and so on,” she explained.

“That’s a lot of mamas,” she giggled.

Mama smiled affectionately down at her, “It is… now, I’ve been waiting for a while to give this to you, but I think now would be a perfect time…”

She lifted and placed it carefully around her neck, adjusting it until the moon was perfectly on display.

“When you look at it, know that Mamas there… I’m protecting you, always.”

Chihiro nodded absently, her curious little hands grabbing the necklace - messing up the careful handiwork of her mama as she observed it closely.

The moon was heavy in her hands, very old and scratched up, but still, each little gem in it was beautiful and intact. She wondered how old it was, probably way older than she was. It might’ve been more than thirty years old, that would be very old.

Mama watched her, biting her lip, her sharp teeth drawing a little droplet of blood which she quickly wiped away. She jumped slightly when Chihiro’s sharp eyes suddenly turned to hers - the eyes she got from Mama - the crisp blue-green shocking to see on a human child, especially with such an intense look on her face.

“Don’t forget about me…” she whispered, voice too serious for an eight-year-old.

Her mama stared down at her face, a look Chihiro couldn’t make out - maybe of shock and confusion mixed with sadness. She didn’t have much time to think about it, as she was pulled into a tight embrace where her mother hid her face in her shoulder sobbing quietly. Chihiro didn’t cry - she had to be strong for Mama.

For some reason, she felt like she would see her mama yet again.

A throat clearing pulled her mother apart from her, the kind face of her Papa peeking into the room. His face held the same grief her mothers did, but it seemed he wouldn’t cry - at least not in front of the family.

“You have to leave now if you want to be safe, Ayumu,” he whispered as he approached.

He placed a gentle hand on Chihiro’s head and pulled her into his side, away from her mother. Chihiro curled into him, holding onto his Haori tightly as she watched her mother collect her overstuffed bag. She began to walk away, posture slumped unlike her usual proud and regal appearance, but she stopped to look back at them once more as she stepped outside.

“Hurry,” her father urged, “you’ll be hurt if you don’t.”

She scrunched up her face slightly, angry and sad, but she nodded and turned away - not before saying one last thing.

“Be strong,” she whispered.

Chihiro smiled up at her Papa, who pressed her closer to him with a sigh. Both of them watched as she walked away until her father could no longer see her, though, Chihiro watched her retreat just a bit further before pulling away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“‘Tsushi, Baba, Oba,” Chihiro called out excitedly.

She stumbled her way through the doorway, tripping over her feet a few times before finally landing face-first on the tatami. She groaned loudly, lifting her head slightly and rubbing at her face. She needed to be more careful when she was excited.

A hand reached out in front of her, around the same size as hers, and with that obnoxious laugh, she knew that it was Atsushi offering to help her. He flexed his hand again as if he thought she didn’t see it or something - though she knew he was just trying to get under her skin.

With a little huff she pushed herself up onto her feet, straightening out her kimono as best she could - she still had to look presentable for Baba’s sake. Atsushi chuckled at her, watching as she tried desperately to straighten herself out.

“Need some help,” he asked smugly - he was only two years older than her, but he treated her like a helpless child.

“No, Atsushi, I'm doing great… Besides I highly doubt you could be much help,” she sassed back with a roll of her eyes.

He held his hands up defensively taking a step back, “Okay, okay, I get it, you’re a big girl now. You don’t need big bro ‘Tsushi looking after you anymore.”

She growled at him, though she couldn’t stop the affectionate smile that grew on her face. He was like a brother to her, and despite how annoying he could be she loved him.

“Shut up, Atsushi.”

“Make me.”

“Alright, you two, quit your bickering. It’s already hard enough to live with Atsushi as it is, I don’t need both of you giving me headaches,” her Jiji’s annoyed voice sounded behind her.

She smiled widely, turning to face him with a wild grin just as he opened his arms for her.

“Jiji,” she squealed, throwing herself at him at full speed, both of them stumbling back a little from her force. She heard Atsushi groan a little at the sight -- good, maybe he’ll learn not to bother her.

“Kami-Sama, Tatsu, you’ve not only grown bigger, but you’ve gotten stronger too,” he groaned out humorously.

“Try not to be so rough Hiro, your Jiji is old,” her papa said tiredly behind them, he was always tired.

“Masahao I’d watch that mouth of yours unless you want to be sleeping outside tonight,” Jiji shot back with a little laugh, “besides she’s fine, nothing wrong with my little Tatsu showing off her strength!”

She smiled widely up at him, basking in the praise she was given from her second favorite person in the world - second only to her dear old Baba.

“Yeah, besides Papa, I don’t think I could ever possibly hurt Jiji, he trained in that army place right?” Her father rubbed her head gently, adjusting the strap of their travel bags with the other.

“Just be careful, and don’t hurt anyone too badly okay?”

“Okay, Papa, I’ll be careful,” she assured.

She watched him pass by and walk into the other room, the sudden commotion from the two other women in the house exploding from it as he walked in. She smiled at the noise, happy to be back where she was happiest. Jiji smiled back down at her, rubbing her head affectionately before pulling away to acknowledge her sister who made an appearance at the front door.

“Mizuki, nice to see you again kid,” he said with a small smile.

She nodded, quietly moving onwards past everyone without a word in her usual fashion. Chihiro didn’t like that about Mizuki - well she didn’t really like anything about Mizuki, but her silent disrespect made her angriest - especially when it was toward Jiji.

“I wish she wasn’t like that,” Chihiro grumbled.

“Yeah, not only is it mean, but it’s just annoying,” Atsushi chimed in with his thoughts after his long silence, “not to mention when she does speak it’s mean; it’s like she thinks she’s better than us.”

Jiji sighed, looking between the two kids then at the door conflicted. Chihiro knew he wanted to deny their claims against her sister, but it was hard to do so when he too knew it was the truth. They all knew it was the truth.

He shook his head and shoved Chihiro forward toward the family room, “Come on, let's stop picking on Mizuki and go say hi to your Oba and Baba.”

With a nod, she pulled away and followed after Atsushi, who was already excitedly prancing away. When they reached the room where the rest of the family was she smiled, quietly watching their interactions at the entryway for a moment. Oba was fussing over Papa’s appearance, while Baba quietly spoke with Mizuki.

Her Jiji cleared his throat in annoyance from behind her, drawing all eyes to him “Mikasa leave him alone, he’s not a child, he can fix his own hair.”

Oba pulled her hands away from Papa’s head, a nervous smile on her face as Jiji approached. Chihiro watched the interaction with a smile, happy to see her family acting as they normally did. Every interaction was so casual and comfortable, as it was meant to be.

She stared quietly for a few seconds more, giggling at Jiji smacking Papa upside the head for a smart comment he made - yes things were as they were supposed to be.

“Chihiro,” a quiet shaky voice called, her head turning to attention immediately, “come here, let Baba see you, Tatsu.”

Chihiro smiled and made her way over, pretending not to notice the annoyed look her sister gave her as she walked away. She pulled her arms around Baba’s frail body. Every time she held her it felt as though she somehow got smaller since she last did so - or maybe Chihiro just got bigger.

She gave her a gentle squeeze; not too strong, but not weak enough to make her Baba notice. She had to make a perfect balance to not hurt her physically, but still not weak enough that Baba would notice she was holding back. Baba was never one who liked being underestimated, then again neither was Chihiro.

“My, Tatsu, you’re so strong now,” she said with a laugh pulling away a bit, Chihiro didn’t mention she was hardly using any of her strength.

She placed her hands onto her cheeks, jerking her head around to observe her closely. Chihiro grumbled at the jerky movements but did nothing else as to avoid being reprimanded. For such a frail woman, she was scarier than Jiji when she was angry.

She rubbed at her cheeks, the roughness of her “scales” - as her family called them - setting her at ease somehow. Her Baba chuckled at her, she must’ve been wearing a weird face so she laughed along with her. When the laughter died down, Baba’s face faded to a sad smile.

Chihiro knew what she was thinking, everyone always thought the same thing, but she still had to ask, “What’s wrong?”

“Sorry, it’s nothing, you just…. look so much more like your Mama every time I see you,” she sighed, “you’re so beautiful… your father is going to have to fight off all the boys in your village.”

Chihiro groaned overdramatically, pulling away from her hands, “Baba quit! You know I’m not interested in boys!”

Baba just smiled knowingly at her, ruffling her hair slightly, “I used to think like that too before I met your Jiji.”

“Ew, Baba, that’s gross,” Chihiro whined, pretending to throw up.

“It’s always gross until you fall in love yourself, Tatsu,” she continued to tease, a smirk on her face that made Chihiro frustrated, “you’ll find someone who you love someday, and then you’ll understand what I mean.”

She groaned once again, both because she was disgusted and she felt a heavyweight on her back -- one that could only be her cousin. She shoved him off her, turning and immediately throwing a fist at his face. He barely dodged it and stumbled back a few times before his back met the ground. Chihiro smirked, ready to jump on top of him, but was stopped by her Baba’s angry voice.

“Chihiro, Atsushi, knock it off this instance,” she yelled angrily, grabbing the attention of the four others in the room.

“Baba, we were just gonna mess around a bit, honest,” Atsushi whined pathetically.

“Yeah, Baba, we were just going to roughhouse a bit that’s all, we’ve done it since we were little,” she defended - also not wanting to get in trouble.

“You two aren’t five anymore, you’re a young boy and lady it’s not appropriate for you to do things like that,” she scolded.

Chihiro was about to retort, not understanding why it was wrong to have a little fun with her cousin -- they used to do this all the time just a year ago -- when her Oba stepped in.

“Now now, Kaa-san, let the kids have a little fun they won’t be this youthful for that much longer, you know,” she said, gently helping Atsushi onto her feet and smoothing out his hair.

“They need to learn to act like proper civilized men and women as soon as possible, it isn’t right to have them roughing around with each other,” Baba retorted, to which her Oba merely hushed her.

She turned her gaze away from Baba and to the two children next to her - Atsushi her son, and Chihiro her niece. Chihiro watched her carefully, Oba’s eyes widening a little when they met her bright ones, gaze softening slightly after a moment. Out of everyone in the family, Oba was the one person who she couldn’t seem to read like the others.

As if Oba knew what she was thinking, she gave her a subtle wink - something that she always did when Chihiro stared at her so attentively.

“Now, why don’t you kids go out with Masahao and Jiji to get something sweet for later tonight… Baba and I will cook dinner in the meantime,” she turned behind her to Mizuki, “that includes you Mizu, have a little fun, okay?”

Atsushi immediately started shoving Chihiro out of the room excitedly, chanting ‘free treats’. Oba must not let him have sweets often, she could see why. Though Chihiro was excited as well, she didn’t miss her sister watching the both of them with annoyance as she followed them out - nor did she miss the side glance she gave Oba.

“Alright, Atsushi, shut your mouth,” Jiji snapped, pulling Chihiro out of her daze.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The group had been out much later than she thought they would be initially, the sun beginning to set over the horizon. She couldn’t complain, she never really got to go out due to her skin condition, so being out in the village -- albeit small in size -- was more than she could ask for. She even met a kind boy around her age who was selling coal, she didn’t catch his name, but she recalled finding him cute. She also met the girl Atsushi always gushed about when they visited, and she decided she was way too good for her cousin.

It was fun; the most fun she’d had in her entire life. Still, she had to go back home at some point, and that’s what she was doing. Holding onto the bag of sweets she and Atsushi picked out, resisting the urge to devour everything inside it by staring straight ahead and trying not to think of it.

She focused carefully at the distant scenery until her Oba’s home came into view, which caused her to pause. It was wrong. The door to her Oba’s home was completely torn apart, thrown away from where it was and in pieces on the ground. Inside she could just hardly see some broken pots and things strewn about - like there might have been a struggle. She could tell just from that alone there was something wrong - something had happened.

The adults didn’t seem to notice it, or maybe they couldn’t see it yet, she always had impeccable vision compared to everyone else she knew. Other than her Mama of course, but that wasn’t something she should be concerned with now. She needed to make the adults aware of the situation.

“Papa,” she said, tugging on his pants to get his full attention.

“Yes, Hiro,” he looked down at her, an affectionate smile on his face - the happiest she’d seen him in a while.

How she hoped that she was wrong, just this once, for Papa.

“I think something happened...”

He stared at her for a long moment, then looked up at the house, his face twisting in confusion. He must’ve just noticed the open door. He pulled her a little closer to his body, which did little to soothe her worries, but she appreciated it.

“I wonder,” he said quietly, “how about we get Jiji to go ahead and see what happened, and I’ll take the three of you somewhere else while he checks - would that make you feel a bit better?”

She nodded, gripping his shirt tightly. The last time he held her like this was when Mama left. She hoped she would see Baba and Oba again.

“Tou-san, would you go ahead and check up on the house please, Hiro’s a little worried.”

Jiji paused and looked back at them, about to come up with a retort, but snapped his mouth shut when his eyes met with Chihiro’s. He sucked in a quick breath before he nodded and turned away leaving the four of them behind as he hurried to the house.

Mizuki and Atushi turned back to look at the two of them, confused and a bit shaken at Jiji’s reaction.

“Obon, what’s going on…” Atsushi worried.

Papa shook his head, ruffling Atsushi’s hair with a smile, “Don’t worry about it, I’m sure it’s nothing… now… who wants to go back to town and get some more sweets?”

“Won’t Kaa-san be mad,” Atsushi asked, eyes wide but hopeful.

“It’ll be our little secret,” Papa said, placing a finger against his lips, ushering him away quickly.

He looked back when neither Chihiro or her sister moved, but Mizuki merely waved him off -- seems she wanted to talk.

They stood next to each other quietly for a few moments, the tension thick in the air. They were never alone together, not even at home, they always avoided each other as much as possible. Now she couldn’t avoid her sister, and she knew Mizuki knew that too.

Chihiro nearly spoke, but Mizuki beat her to it, “We both know something bad happened, something really bad.”

She nodded, “Y-you think someone was mad at Jiji or something?”

“I think it was demons,” Mizuki said blankly, not a drop of humor or emotion in her voice.

Chihiro stared up at her, trying to discern if that was a joke or not. Demons weren’t real, they were just part of scary stories her family used to scare them away from misbehaving. If that was so, why was her sister saying that? It couldn’t be a joke, she never joked about anything, especially not with Chiro. So what was she talking about?

“Don’t overthink it, it makes your head hurt…” she looked up to the house, “you should probably go check up on them, I know you want to.”

What? Was Mizuki being… considerate?

“Don’t think this means I like you, I don’t, I just know what’s best for my family,” she said quietly.

The confirmation of her hatred kind of stung, but Chihiro didn’t have time to think about that too much. She turned on her heel and ran as fast as she could, kicking up dirt and rocks with each step until she finally made it to the house - faster than she thought she ever could. Her feet stumbled over the tatami, slamming into the wall roughly before she could catch her balance.

“Jiji, Baba, Oba,” she called out, voice strained with worry.

No reply, just silence. She called out again, this time a bit louder and a bit more desperate. Her eyes took the time to scan the area carefully while she waited tensely, noting the broken vases and furniture. Signs of a struggle, but nothing more than signs.

She sniffed, the air was thick with the smell of iron and ash that nearly suffocated her. The smell, combined with the tenseness of waiting silently for something that maybe never come, made her nauseous. She was sure she would’ve fallen over dead had she not heard the smallest noises - just the gentle shifting of clothes, something easily missed if she was not listening for it.

She stood silently for another few moments, waiting for another noise - another indication of life. After getting nothing once again, she let out a silent huff, deciding to just find out who was in here; to find out what happened to her family.

She wishes she hadn’t.

Stepping into the family room, the stench of blood and ash was stronger -- more suffocating than before. It made her dizzy enough to feel her head spin, to make her close her eyes for a moment to recover. When she opened them she finally noticed the ruin the room was in. The walls, the floors, the ceiling all cut and broken; torn and smashed apart by an inhuman force; in shambles. Then she looked straight ahead, and nausea returned in full force like a kick to her gut.

There, sitting in front of her, Jiji was cradling a body -- Baba’s body. Oba’s lied near the entrance to the kitchen, her guts torn out and exposed for Chihiro to see. She couldn’t see the state of Baba’s, but she could easily assume it was no better. Next to all of this, glinting dangerously in the afternoon light, a sword of some sort.

Her body shook violently, face paling as she took in everything in front of her. Her family -- her life all dead in front of her. Taken by the man who she trusted with her life -- she didn’t want to believe it, but the evidence was clear, even if she knew that it didn’t fully make logical sense. She was going to die, she was going to die in his hands. Her Jiji was going to kill her.

A sob ripped through her body, at the realization, loud and clear in the silent room. She froze, she hadn’t meant to be so loud. She might’ve been able to get away safely had she stayed silent, but the sound snapped Jiji out of whatever trance he was in, his head whipping around to face her and his hand grabbing onto the sword. His eyes were wild and lit up with an emotion she’d never seen on his face before.

He looked crazed with anger.

She stumbled back, tripping over her feet and falling hard onto her back. She wasn’t ready to die, she didn’t want to die, she reminded herself as she forced her feet to keep pushing back away from him. She moved until she hit the destroyed wall, squeezing up into herself until it was painful.

Her mind at war, the clear evidence that he had killed her not matching up with the already destroyed home she saw earlier. He couldn’t have done this when he was with her, she tried to rationalize, but her body still kept moving back from him.

She kicked at his hands when they touched her, screaming at him to stop. Though she wanted to believe he wouldn’t hurt her, and it was all some misunderstanding. She wondered if this fear was what Baba and Oba felt -- overwhelmed and scared knowing the inevitability of death by their beloved’s hands was coming. She sucked in a breath, still pushing and screaming even as his arms wrapped around her tightly.

“Tatsu,” his stern voice called, but she just screamed; she refused to listen.

“Tatsu,” again, “Tatsu calm down, you’re fine.”

She screamed again, punching and pushing as hard as she could against him. She couldn’t go without a fight.

“Chihiro,” he said sternly, making her freeze in her actions on impulse -- her mind almost trained to stop at his tone.

“I’m not going to hurt you, now calm down you’ll suffocate if you don’t,” he eased, pulling her into his lap as she finally relaxed.

He held her like that for longer than she knew, she wondered if Papa noticed she was gone. If ‘Tsushi was worried about her… maybe they were coming back for her right now. Who knew? Her sobs died down into little sniffles and she allowed herself to relax fully into his arms, knowing full well she would never be able to escape him anyway.

“Jiji,” she mustered, “w-what… what happened to…?”

She wasn’t sure that she wanted to know, but she had to ask. She had to get confirmation from his mouth, not just from her eyes.

He pulled her back, face gravely serious as he looked down at her. His gaze bearing into her and making her feel even more uneasy. She was sure this was it, this was where he would kill her -- yet she still found the time to wonder if the rest of her family was enjoying their time in town, or if they were searching for her.

“Tatsu,” he said seriously, gripping her arms tightly, and she said her last prayer, “do you believe in demons?”

“What…?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Prolouge End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hey! Uh yeah I wrote this thing... it’s not good... it’s actually bad so. Anyway, I’ve worked for several months on this, and I saw a few people encouraging me to post it... so I did. I guess you can sort of see this as a trial run for the fic. Anyway I hope it was good, cause it’s 4K+ words and by far the longest thing I’ve ever written and I worked really hard on it... hahaha...

Nagashi Somen’s Backstory

A story of lies, companionship and incompetency.

Noodle Shop

“One somen plus one onsen egg!” “Gotcha!” “Granny, where’d you get this kid? A hard worker, this one!” “Hehe, isn’t he! Lil’ ol’ me just had a stroke of luck.”

Granny passed the bowl of noodles to me, and I served it to the customer on a tray.

“Your somen and onsen egg’s great!” “Thanks!”

I wiped the sweat off my brow, taking another tray off Granny’s hands.

“Granny! You take a break please, I’ll handle it!” “Don’t sweat it, lil’ ol’ me can handle some bowls! Hey, watch it! Did’ya get burnt?”

I blew on my hand, the red patch of scalding from soup becoming increasingly visible. But Granny didn’t scold me, instead retrieving a wet handkerchief and pressed it against my hand.

The day I met Granny, she was alone in these mountains with a basket, picking some wild greens. The slopes weren’t steep, but nevertheless quite treacherous for the elderly. When she almost tripped, I couldn’t help but move forth to brace her.

Granny’s an empty nester, her son always away and traveling. Always hanging around the mountains, I was considered a child of Granny’s.

“Kiddo, you’re a good boy, but you’re so impulsive!” “Ain’t it ‘cus I’m worried about Granny, hehe.” “Your hand alright?” “It’s alright! Can’t let the customer wait!”

A frequenter of the restaurant looked in our direction with interest, making me smile with embarrassment.

“You two’re so close, you’re almost exactly like Granny’s son was.” “That so! What was Big Bro Hui like?” “Real energetic, that boy!” “As if he can compare to Nagashi Somen here! That kid learnt himself some skills and ditched, I can count the days he’s at home in a year on one hand!”

Even though Granny mocks her traveling son, the wrinkles in her eyes show her pride deep down.

The village wasn’t very big, and ours was the only restaurant here.

Granny’s a really great person, she always makes a few extra bowls after closing shop, distributing them to the orphans and lonely elderly in the village. Big Bro Hui naturally inherited this kindness too, studying medicine under a teacher. And the time he spent at home lessened.

But even so, it wasn’t anything bad. It’s what the smiles of Big Bro Hui and Granny are telling me.

I love this lifestyle, just like I love this village, this restaurant, and Granny.

Go or Stay

Even in her old age, Granny ran the restaurant. She often said with a smile, that if Big Bro Hui ever returned, she’ll make him a bowl of his favorite noodles.

In the eyes of Granny, Big Bro Hui was strong, brave, witty; any positive trait you could think of, he had it. That’s why he won’t hesitate to put himself forward if his help was needed.

Having endured through harsh times, Granny knew that in times of despair, the helpless wish for only the guiding arm of strength to take them by the hand. That’s why Granny didn’t hold Big Bro Hui back when he decided to leave.

But lately, I couldn’t help but remember his words to me when he left. “Do you really have to go? Granny’s getting old…” “So you think I’m in the wrong too?” “‘Too’? Who else is there?” “Myself…” “Why are you still leaving then?” “I want to be by the side of those who need my help.” “But…” I wanted to tell him that “Granny needed you too~” The lights in Granny’s room only go out late in the night after he returns, even when she has to open the restaurant early next day. Can’t he tell? No, surely he knows… Why else would he look so sorrowful?

“Don’t worry, I’ll write home often. Don’t look so sad, I’m just going to be a military medic, I’ll be alright.” Master Attendant fastened his luggage, turning to leave. “If only the wars will end…”

Came the faint mumbling of his voice, though it was crystal clear in my memories. Even his silhouette vanishing in the distance filled me with fear.

But why? I’ve hardly seen that silhouette, yet I felt like I won’t get to see it ever again……

“Nagashi Somen, what’s wrong? You don’t look too well.” Granny dried her hands on her apron, standing beside me, worry written over her face.

“...No, it’s nothing, just a tad tired.” Nothing has changed, yet Granny looked really uneasy as well. “Big Bro Hui, no letters from him today either?”

“That kiddo’s always been like that, must’a forgotten.” Granny said with a smile. “Right, let’s close shop early today, take it easy at home! Granny’ll make you yer favorite dishes!” “Ok!”

I pinned this feeling of unease on Big Bro Hui’s missing letter. Only when that wounded, sorrowful man came to our doorstep did my premonition come to fruition.

Lie

Silence settled over us as we made eye contact. With confusion and disbelief, my gaze focused on the white envelope and sack of gold coins in his hands. The man lowered his head with remorse, thrusting the sack of coins to me. This man, imposing and soldierly, crumpled before me in tears.

“If it weren’t… If it weren’t to protect me, he wouldn’t have died to that fallen angel…”

Uncomfortably settled into a daze of grief, I was snapped back by the words “fallen angel” and widened my eyes in shock.

“What! Fallen angels?! What happened to ‘everything will be fine’! Weren’t there the protection of other Master Attendants and food souls?!” I stepped forward, gripping the man’s shoulders.

“Yes…” “Then how…!” “... But there were too many enemies.”

Seeing his expression, I knew I couldn’t put the blame on anybody. Neither having stopped him from going nor went with him to protect him, I wasn’t in any position to speak. But Granny? If Granny heard about this, how would she feel?

Forcing myself to calm down, we pieced together the full story from both of our views.

Big Bro Hui wasn’t a simple military medic as he told me. He went onto the battlefield, and even though it wasn’t against fallen angels, the dangers of a sudden ambush were still present. Yet he didn’t allow me to go with him, having pondered it, he decided I should stay with the village, where I’m more needed.

Compared to himself, he’d rather have the safety of the village. Compared to Granny, he’d rather go to distant lands to save more people. He once told the man, that it’s precisely due to my presence that he steeled his nerves to go. Is it so that I can accompany Granny? But to Granny, we’re worlds apart.

When Big Bro Hui left, I wondered many times, was there truly no other choice?

“Hui told me at the end, please don’t let his mother know.” The man said suddenly. Only then did the issue plaguing me all this while resurface. Having awaited the return of her son for so long, will Granny be able to take it?

“I’ve thought long and hard, and I still think it can’t help to hide it from her, so I came to tell…” “Don’t! Please, don’t tell Granny about this, at least for now…” “Eh?” “I’ll tell Granny in your stead.”

Seeing Granny smiling gently in the restaurant, my grip on the bereavement money and the condolence letter tightened. I had to find a suitable time, a time when I won’t hurt Granny. Seeing the man vanish into the distance, I made up my mind.

“Who was that just now? Not a customer?” Granny came to my side and asked.

“Nope, nothing to it, just a lost traveler.” I hid the money and letter behind my back and smiled.

“That so, you gotta remember to offer him some water next time, weather’s hot…”

Granny didn’t see through my panicked facade, and I heaved a sigh of relief. Only then did I realize, with one lie came innumerable more.

Misfortune

Everything went smoothly, and Granny didn’t suspect a thing.

Every morning, she opened up shop and prepared the ingredients for the day. After sundown, we cleaned up after the last customer leaves. Granny beaming smile always washed away the exhaustion of the travelers. Once she finds out about Big Bro Hui’s death, that smile will surely fade. That’s why, even one more day…

My decision was right… right?

The days went by without disturbance. Sometimes I’d find Granny sitting at the doorstep, gazing up at the sky.

But, good thing is, I found out she was just worried about the ongoing war and I let go of a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

I went to a neighboring village to stock up on ingredients, and I returned to not Granny, but rather a worried frequenter.

Once he spotted me, he dashed towards me anxiously.

“You’re finally back Nagashi Somen! Granny got a letter and headed to the town outskirts with all the money in the counter! Go check on her!”

Hearing that, I dropped everything and ran towards the outskirts.

At the border, I found Granny with her back arched, pleading at the officers.

“Look Mr. Officer, this is all this old woman here’s got… Please, can’t you just… please…” “No! Don’t think of seeing your son if you’re missing so much as a penny!” “Mr. Officer… Please, he’s my only son…”

Seeing Granny kneeled before them, I rushed forward to brace her and hold her hand.

“Granny! What is this!” “Nagashi Somen! Hui, Hui’s committed war crimes, he owes a lot of money, or else he’ll be executed! Please help me convince this officer!”

“How can it be! Master Attendant’s…” I didn’t know what crimes they were speaking of, and neither did Granny, presumably. But I knew that they were lying. I wanted to reveal the truth, but my words were caught in my throat. Seeing Granny so anxious, I didn’t know how to put it.

The two officers kicked Granny aside and counted the money. I wanted to take the money back, but Granny wouldn’t let go of me. Whilst I held my tongue, their words struck me with grief.

“Heh, didn’t think a dead guy was gonna fetch us this much.”

Hearing that, Granny’s eyes widened and pushed forward to grab the officer.

“What dead guy? What happened to Hui?” “Why don’t you ask that food soul there! Hahahaha!”

Their cackling sent waves of ice tumbling over me. I wanted to square with them, but my legs were frozen under Granny’s distraught gaze.

“Nagashi Somen! Tell me! What’s going on!” “..........” “Hahahahaha, your son’s LONG DEAD! Bet that food soul you’ve been raising has been hiding that from you and hasn’t even given you the bereavement money!”

“No, I…” I couldn’t believe I was about to defend myself. I lied to Granny.

“Old fart, I’d recommend you get that money from him soon, that’s what’s left of your son’s life! I’ll take this as payment for telling you that! Hahahaha…”

No! I had! All the bereavement money swapped out for loose change, and put it in Granny’s stash bit by bit! This isn’tー

Yet Granny couldn’t hear my wails anymore…

I should have known sooner, that once a lie is told, innumerable more follow. I can’t consider it a fluke, making myself think that there was a way for Granny to not hurt.

Really, I’ve always been afraid of myself. But I’ve let myself forget… No matter the intent, lies can only bring misfortune.

Nagashi Somen

After that, the wandering Nagashi Somen met Raindrop Cake’s master attendant by chance.

This human was just like Big Bro Hui, an optimistic and passionate person. He brought Nagashi Somen, still scared out of his wits, back to his house, drying his hair with a towel.

“You’ll fall ill like this!” “......”

Under the care of Raindrop Cake’s master attendant, Nagashi Somen slowly regained a bit his vigor. Raindrop Cake’s master attendant, on the other hand, had learnt from word of mouth from his village of Nagashi Somen’s past that he so desperately wanted to forget.

Once upon a time, someone he knew left this world because of a lie with good intentions. To maintain this lie, he told more lies to others.

As if to mock him, others used this same lie to hurt the old lady who always took care of him. Unable to take the shock of her son’s death, the kind old lady passed away too.

At the sight of the lifeless old lady, Nagashi Somen took a harsh blow. He knew lies weren’t going to change a thing, yet he still lied to the old lady.

If he hadn’t told the lie and told the old lady the truth in the beginning, she wouldn’t have learnt of his master attendant’s death in such circumstances. The old lady wouldn’t have died so tragically before him either.

After that, Nagashi Somen no longer donned his carefree and joyful smile, he clenched his fist, eyes wrinkling with sadness. “I’ll never tell a lie, even if I have to stay silent, I’ll never deceive others again…”

Hearing this, the smile on Raindrop Cake’s master attendant’s face complicated for a moment. But he couldn’t come up with a reply.

Under the care of Raindrop Cake’s master attendant, Nagashi Somen began helping him run his business. In contrast to the quiet Raindrop Cake, Nagashi Somen quickly picked up everything about the business. Busy with work, he slowly pulled himself together.

Afterward, he returned to his village. For Granny, for his master attendant, he wanted to protect the favorite village of theirs.

He occasionally visited Raindrop Cake’s village too and chatted with Raindrop Cake’s master attendant. They were like brothers, keeping no secrets from each other. It’s then that his buddy asked him for a favor, to cheer up Raindrop Cake.

It’s for that reason he always tells that to the ever-melancholic Raindrop Cake. “Even though it’s said that Food Souls exist to battle Fallen Angels, but our abilities are still limited, that’s why we just have to give it our all doing what we can.”

Nagashi Somen chose to stay optimistic, wishing that his present life won’t be shattered by lies no matter what.

Nagashi Somen’s smile and words moved Raindrop Cake. His smile overlapped with his master attendant’s for a moment, an extremely touching scene.

As he hoped, Raindrop Cake found the will to move forth. Raindrop Cake’s master attendant was delighted when they talked about the change in attitude as well.

“Everything’s improving.” Even though Raindrop Cake’s master attendant was getting thinner from always traveling, he was inclined to believe the words of the energetic and optimistic man before him.

He won’t tell a lie. Nagashi Somen believed firmly. Then he won’t witness another tragedy…

He thought his peaceful life would continue. And when everything shattered, it felt unreal.

It was raining and Nagashi Somen had open his red oilpaper umbrella, not unlike an old friend visiting after years, arriving at the little village deep in the cherry blossom woods.

But the chaotic mess that remained of the village left him petrified, and he dashed to see if they were safe, if he could just find them a moment sooner.

When he found the man he was looking for in the ruins, he was collapsed lifelessly in the mud, Raindrop Cake by his side. Those empty, distraught eyes; Nagashi Somen could never hope to forget the very expression Granny held.

A feeling of unease welled up. Nagashi Somen tried many times to question the dazed Raindrop Cake, but he just kept repeating himself.

“How did this happen! What happened?” “I… I killed Master Attendant… I killed everyone…” “That can’t be! You couldn’t have killed everyone! What happened to him! He was fine before, how could he… how could he…”

No, was he… really fine before? The details he missed flashed in his mind, yet no connections formed. He wanted to know just what he missed, just what caused this cold, lifeless corpse to be all that remained of the man. His unease and terror told him something must have been missed. But he could tell that he wasn’t going to get the answer from Raindrop Cake.

Sadness, anger, dissatisfaction; All sorts of negative emotions burst out of Nagashi Somen, all melding together. He understood more than anyone how Raindrop Cake felt, at the same time unable to forgive him, unable to forgive the Raindrop Cake spiraling into a pit of self-blame, unable to forgive the Nagashi Somen who told the lies back then.

Trying his best to regain control of his emotions, his carefree smile no longer showed as he gripped Raindrop Cake’s collar tight and glared at him coldly.

“Look at me! Tell me! Just what happened?!” No matter how much Nagashi Somen yelled, there came no response from Raindrop Cake. “He would never want to see you like this! You know that! Answer me!”

“.........”

“Next time we meet, I hope we can have a proper conversation.”

Seeing the soulless Raindrop Cake, Nagashi Somen’s past flashed before his eyes. He wanted Raindrop Cake to pull himself together, yet he found himself trapped by his own demons too. At that moment, he realized he was unable to save Raindrop Cake, who had sunk into the same pit he did.

The storm beats down on the ruins. All that remains is the soulless husk of Raindrop Cake, along with a red oilpaper umbrella meagerly attempting to shield him from the rain.

This week’s bonus content brings us Jake and John discussing the likelihood of  a robot apocalypse:

JAKE: Hey there pal! JAKE: So youre jades... brother? JOHN: that's right! JOHN: compared to how confusing everyone else's family trees are, we are very straight forward. JOHN: even if we did not know we were related at first... JOHN: i wasn't sure how YOU were related to her, back when you were pen pals. JOHN: do you remember sending me that letter? JAKE: By jove i almost forgot about that. It feels like ages ago. JOHN: i don't know how long it was for you, but i got it three years ago. JAKE: I mean from my point of view it was only a couple of months but a lots gone on. JOHN: it arrived on my birthday so it was right on time. JOHN: it came in handy in a tight spot. JOHN: you were right in your letter, i DO love movies. JOHN: even if i am not into wrestling that much. JAKE: Oh well ive had my fill of fisticuffs for awhile anyway. Movies on the other hand i havent had much time to dig into! JAKE: By the way did you like your present?? And little terry kiser? JOHN: um... JOHN: well, i named her liv tyler, actually. i didn't know you already named her, or him. JOHN: anyway, she saved my butt in a big way! JOHN: and then she flew off on a ship heroically, but ran off again i guess? JOHN: and then she somehow joined dave and rose on their even more heroic mission to blow up a sun. JOHN: which they failed to do mostly because they actually MADE the sun, but the important thing is that they tried. JOHN: they came back, but i think the bunny didn't make it. :( JAKE: I live by the philosophy that when a stuffed toy changes hands its appropriate to change its name. It gives things a history like that. JAKE: At least she died doing something i presume she enjoyed. JOHN: blowing up? JAKE: No!! Being a hero and dicing up bad guys! JOHN: was the robot sentient? JOHN: maybe we should have treated it with more respect, so it would not turn evil and destroy us like a watership down version of skynet. JAKE: I mean dirk helped me a little in making it and all of his projects seem to enjoy that kind of mayhem. JAKE: Not as much as his own version of the rabbit but i think in giving me advice at least a couple of his engine greased fingerprints are on it. JOHN: man, everyone is some sort of robotics genius around here. JOHN: if we hadn't already had an apocalypse ushered in by rogue technology i would be worried. JAKE: I briefly suspected hal but no worries. JAKE: I think if he were going to attempt a robopocalypse he wouldve done it a long time ago when he was bored and had less to do. JOHN: he and terezi would get along. they both seem to enjoy wreaking mayhem for fun, although she says she's sorry now. JAKE: They might try but dirk would go spare. JAKE: And I think hes tossed out all his spares for today already. JOHN: everyone has learned their lesson about devious deeds! JOHN: i'm confident that will not happen in the future. JOHN: instead we can relax and do things like watch that movie you were recommending. JAKE: Oh yeah!! JAKE: Which one did i recommend again? I think it was weekend at bernies. JOHN: the one about the corpse getting moved around to trick people? JAKE: Oh yes! Two gentlemen discover that their boss has died shortly before throwing a party and try to convince people hes still alive by puppeting his body around! Its really quite hilarious! JOHN: it sounds good. JOHN: although apparently i'm already locked in to watching a few others. JOHN: including dave's? JOHN: i can't believe he became a big deal movie star in your world, that's hilarious. JAKE: He did. Ive got one of his characters tattooed on my arm! JOHN: um JOHN: you do? JOHN: wow. JOHN: have you told him that? JAKE: Not yet. Should i? JOHN: you might actually make him speechless, which would be a first. JOHN: definitely try it. JOHN: wait, which one is it anyway? JOHN: also, how did you get a tattoo? JOHN: i thought you grew up alone or something, like jade did. JAKE: Ive got sweet bro. Dirk gave it to me after we met up! JAKE: Hes got hella jeff. We match! JAKE: Let me tell you it was a harrowing thing getting it! Id heard getting a tattoo really hurts but you know what i just closed my eyes and before i knew it it was over just like that. JOHN: ... JOHN: huh. JOHN: well, that sounds exciting. i'm sure he'll be thrilled. JOHN: none of us have ever shown that level of devotion. JOHN: mostly we just repeat his shitty memes. JAKE: Dirk takes memes to a whole new level pal. JOHN: i haven't really had a chance to meet him before this. JOHN: i've been missing out on so many reunions today, maybe because i keep bouncing around taking people places. JOHN: out of you guys i've mostly talked to jane and roxy. JOHN: and i only talked to jane once! JOHN: i'm already behind. JAKE: Oh im sure youll get along great! Hes a cool dude and super smart. A little odd but he genuinely means well. JOHN: i'm looking forward to meeting everyone! JOHN: wait, i did meet him once, that's right. JOHN: back in the bad timeline, i saw him floating in space and asked him what happened, because i'd just come back from fighting calliope's brother. JOHN: but all he said was 'i failed' and then he... turned into glitter? JOHN: there were lots of glitches floating around, it was a hazard. JOHN: hopefully we can overcome that first impression. JAKE: ...yeah that sounds like dirk. JAKE: He can be pretty dramatic. JOHN: rose and dave are super dramatic too, he'll fit right in. JOHN: with all of us together it's going to be all drama all the time. JOHN: it will be up to us normal people to keep things under control. JAKE: He grew up all alone so sometimes i think he only knows how to act from movies too but who knows. Maybe it runs in families. JAKE: Family. Weird. JAKE: Hey that means were family too arent we? JOHN: i guess so! JOHN: you're my... JOHN: hm. JOHN: relative. JAKE: Relative. I guess. JAKE: I cant exactly go calling you great uncle john even if i still call jade "grandma". JAKE: Has a ring to it though! Great uncle john! Its all folksy like poppop crocker. JOHN: that's right, i was jane's grandpa in your universe, i guess. JOHN: which is also weird to think about. JOHN: and i was sort of everyone's dad, by mixing our slimes. JOHN: so it keeps getting more outrageous. JOHN: as for knowing how to act from movies... JOHN: i didn't even grow up alone, and i think sometimes i have that problem. JOHN: you want your life to make sense that way! JOHN: but real life is a lot more complicated sometimes. JAKE: Yeah!! JAKE: God yes it is. ESPECIALLY when it comes to romance. Good grief. JOHN: i know! JOHN: the movies make it look like it's essential or something, when usually in real life it mostly seems to cause trouble. JOHN: but you can't get a good ending otherwise, unless you accomplish that and a bunch of other arbitrary criteria. JOHN: most of which we haven't accomplished ourselves, but i think we're going to get a good ending anyway. JOHN: still it can mess with your head. JOHN: real life is not like the movies, that's for sure. JAKE: Its hard to have a romance going when your life is constantly under threat by skeleton monsters. JAKE: Also your first time seeing another person in ten years and your first boyfriend happen on like the same day. JOHN: see, that's how it happens in the movies sometimes. JOHN: the main characters meet up and get together right away, and i guess you have to assume it all works out, because the movie ends. JOHN: but when you're actually doing things it is not that convenient, you have to keep going. JOHN: although i hope we're going to get a break soon. JOHN: i would be happy for the credits to close on the constant heroics and dying for a while. JAKE: Me too. JAKE: I want a nap. Without an evil spider troll waking me up. JAKE: Movies also dont tell you how tiring the whole rigmarole of adventure is. JOHN: the main characters always look great, if fashionably ruffled, and they can keep going no matter what. JOHN: but i'm kind of tired. JOHN: especially since i've lived through the same hours twice in places i think? JAKE: You and your weird time travel nonsense again huh? JOHN: i will probably be mostly retiring that, i wouldn't want to cause any more trouble. JOHN: for now it looks like everything is turning out fine on its own. JAKE: Yessir i think were on the right path now and as soon as were done here im gonna take a long nap and anyone who cares to wake me up can throw down about it even if they are a hitherto-perfectly nice troll lady. Or human lady. Or anyone else. JAKE: The suplex of slumber justice is unisex. JOHN: that's the spirit! JOHN: we will all pass out and righteously beat up any one who disturbs us. JOHN: except hopefully once we are settled somewhere a little less exposed. JOHN: if we were asleep here someone might roll off. JAKE: But we can fly? JAKE: Where would we even fall? Towards the frog since its like a planet? Or... down? Were being pulled down by gravity i guess but how can we fall down if theres just space? JAKE: Would we float in our sleep? Maybe just get sucked back to the victory platform? JOHN: that sounds like a question for jade, she's more interested in how this works. JOHN: i told her science was dumb and boring if it didn't work the way i wanted, which made her upset, but i guess i got what i wanted. JOHN: so hah. JAKE: So science works how you want now? JAKE: Are you ganking my power set young man?? JOHN: not all of science, just space and time i guess. JOHN: and all of the scientific laws i am violating with my wanton displacement of matter and energy. JOHN: what ever those laws might be. JOHN: i am not a scientist or lawyer. JOHN: or science lawyer. JAKE: You fiend. Ah well as long as you dont go abusing your power im sure nothing terrible will happen. Like you flap your windy hood and cause a hurricane down south like an errant butterfly of causality. JOHN: well, i sort of lured lord english here, but i had to to save calliope, and we had to fight him anyway, so hopefully you can let that slide. JOHN: like i said, i will be taking it easy from now on. JAKE: I hear you there. Im over here asking myself do i even want to go wandering around this wonderland of dreaminess or do i just want to curl up over in that edge of the lily pad and have a nice snooze? JAKE: You know i can nap almost anywhere. I consider it a talent. JAKE: I have fallen asleep on clear grassy hills except thats probably not a good thing because centaurs can track through at any moment and they arent too careful about where they step! JOHN: jade was like that too! JOHN: although it MIGHT have partly been a troll messing with her brain again? JOHN: trolls sure are meddlesome. JOHN: anyway, this is probably our last chance to explore the dream bubbles, so maybe hold off on the naps until later. JOHN: also, centaurs? JAKE: Centaurs! JAKE: Oh yeah did i never say my island was full of alien monsters? JAKE: Because my island was full of alien monsters. JOHN: wow, your life actually WAS like a movie. JOHN: no wonder it was tempting to see yourself as an action hero. JOHN: everyone else had such weird and dramatic childhoods. JOHN: i don't have many bragging rights but JOHN: i liked mine. JOHN: i guess i'm one of the people that actually... left something ok behind? JOHN: but that's fine! because there can be ok things in the future too. JOHN: or hopefully more than ok. JAKE: I hope so. JAKE: I mean most things would probably be better than having to keep an eye out for monsters while walking to the pantry for canned friggin beets. JAKE: Not that i couldnt handle myself but beets arent worth that much. JOHN: bluch, no. JOHN: jade kept trying to make us eat our vegetables. JOHN: it was terrible. JOHN: she doesn't even know about lunchables. JAKE: My grandma ONLY stocked veggies. JAKE: And this weird stuff called spam. JOHN: i think our jade would probably have a heart attack if she saw spam. JOHN: although she does like raw beef these days. JOHN: which is a little alarming if you see her eat it. JAKE: I think she mostly included it as a courtesy to me and also i dont think theres many other great ways to keep meat. JAKE: So i hunted! Hopefully most of those creatures were edible and i didnt give myself any weird diseases. JOHN: the rest of you were like man versus wild! JOHN: including dave and rose kind of, even though they lived in real houses. JOHN: i will have to catch up if we are in some sort of survivor situation in the new universe. JOHN: i'm not really sure how that will pan out. JAKE: Youll be fine. Well watch your back! JAKE: Dirk will probably like. Invent a house if you give him long enough. JAKE: Just stick with jane and youll be fine. Shes kind of like you in that she also had a pretty cushy upbringing if you count out the assassination attempts. JAKE: Not that i hold it against her anything. We all take our lumps as theyre given. I mean she also has a dead grand- JAKE: Wait a minute. JAKE: Did you say you were...? JAKE: *Suspicious squinting.* JOHN: what? JAKE: Janes... JAKE: Poppop? JOHN: i... guess so? JOHN: that would make sense, she was my nanna. JOHN: oh man, was i also crushed to death by a flying baby? JOHN: that would be so undignified. JAKE: But hold the damn phone!! JAKE: You were ALSO jades brother in my timeline! JAKE: So if you were siblings and youre also janes poppop... JAKE: Would that make her and i... related?? JOHN: um... JOHN: not genetically? JOHN: but i think you were adopted siblings in our world. JAKE: !! JOHN: she grew up with a brother under a wicked alien queen. JOHN: which was betty crocker! JOHN: and the troll empress. JOHN: it is all connected. JAKE: So we were always family! JAKE: Gosh shell be so surprised to find out i bet. Just over the moon. JOHN: who doesn't want more family? JAKE: Of course! Good gravy aint that just like a movie. So many of us grow up without any family to speak of and we find out we were all family all along! JAKE: Consarnit id even call that some kind of irony. JOHN: at least it's a pretty crazy coincidence. JOHN: except since skaia set it up that way it's not a coincidence at all. JAKE: The chilly wind of fate whips through our unshielded undercarriages. JAKE: Get out of there skaia that zone is closed for business! JAKE: Its not enough to be whipping round my legs its gotta go and nab my shorts too... JAKE: Well ive had the last laugh. Ive got PANTS now! AND family! HAH! JOHN: well, fate or coincidence or whatever, I'M happy about it. JOHN: and i think both pants and family are important.