#both their dads are awful
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Steve never yelled.
It was something everyone knew and no one talked about. All his anger was quiet, a rage simmering just beneath the surface.
And sure; he’d raise his voice to be heard over the cacophony of the kids he’d unwittingly adopted, but everyone agreed that wasn’t yelling. That was just making sure he was heard.
Even Eddie, as his boyfriend, had never heard him yell before. And there’s something to be said about following the leader: even when they argued, even when tensions were high, Steve never yelled. So Eddie didn’t, either.
He wished he could take back the one time he did.
Eddie was hot-tempered. He knew this. Everyone knew this. Hot-tempered and a knife-sharp tongue, cutting down to the marrow with just his words. He’d never use his fists. This is also something everyone knows.
Eddie’s animated, larger-than-life, and he continued that trend in his arguments. Hands flying out to prove a point, but never to strike.
Everyone knew why. Everyone who knew Eddie knew what happened when he was nine, when Momma died and Daddy tried to find happiness at the bottom of a bottle.
That was the summer he moved in with Wayne. Wayne was a kind soul, slow to speak and even slower to anger. He was even-tempered, which meant it took a lot to get him mad, but once he was there, he wasn’t letting go easy.
So Eddie never raised his hands. Steve never raised his voice. Steve never raised his hands, either.
Eddie wished, with everything inside of him, he hadn’t raised his voice.
Because there’s something to be said about following the leader. When Eddie yelled, Steve followed.
Eddie didn’t know what they were arguing about anymore. Something stupid, he’s sure, but all he heard was blood rushing in his ears as he argued with Steve.
Steve, unflappable Steve, unshakeable Steve, argued back. He raised his voice.
Then, suddenly, he stopped. “Shit,” he whispered, eyes wide and not completely present. “Shit- I- sorry, I- I’m-” he shook his head, started to back up, almost tripped on nothing. Caught himself on the counter. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t- didn’t mean to-”
Abruptly, everything was silent. Eddie’s blood stilled as something ugly rose up in his throat. “Steve?”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered again. “I’m not- not him, I swear, I don’t- I didn’t-” he shook his head again.
Eddie almost cursed when he finally realized what was happening. A panic attack. “Steve,” he said, slowly, calmly. “Stevie, baby, can I touch you?”
“I’m sorry,” Steve whispered again, gasping for breath.
“No, babylove,” Eddie murmured. “My fault, isn’t it? I should’ve known. Can I touch you, Stevie?”
He nodded, lip trembling. “‘M sorry.”
“No, sweets. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, c’mere.” He tugged Steve into a hug, nudged his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck, rubbed soothing hands down his back. “Breathe with me, baby, c’mon, you can do this. Come back to me.”
Steve choked on a breath. “‘M sorry,” he mumbled again, and here were the tears, here’s what Eddie had been waiting for. He knew crying would likely trigger a headache, so he made a mental list of things he’d need to prepare.
“Not your fault,” Eddie promised him again. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I never shoulda yelled, that’s on me.” He smoothed his hands down over Steve’s back again. “Come back to me, baby, where are you?”
Shaking hands grabbed at Eddie’s shirt, just above his hips. “Eddie.”
“That’s me,” Eddie agreed. “Take a breath for me, sweets, c’mon. In and out.” A shaky puff of air hit his neck, and he gently squeezed Steve. “That’s good. That’s so good. One more, Stevie, c’mon, just one more breath.”
Slowly but surely, Steve calmed down. He let out one last sigh and unclenched his hands, wrapping them around his boyfriend’s waist. “Sorry.”
“Not your fault,” Eddie promised again. “You okay?”
Steve sniffed. “Think so. I, uh… didn’t know that would happen.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“No.” He sniffed again, pressed his fingertips into the divots of Eddie’s spine. “I’ve tried, my whole life, to be anybody but my dad. He… he would yell, and I remember thinking as a little kid that… dads aren’t supposed to scare their kids.” He shrugged. “I don’t think it was ever a conscious decision, not to yell. Just a… side effect, I guess, of not being like him.”
Eddie sighed. “And here I come along and fuck it all up, huh?”
Steve shook his head. “You make everything better, Eds. Even if we argue. Because I know we’ll be okay.” He managed a huff of a laugh. “I, uh, don’t actually remember what we were arguing about anymore.”
Eddie chuckled. “Me neither, Stevie.” He pressed a kiss to Steve’s temple. “Okay?”
“Okay.” Steve lifted his head to kiss Eddie properly. “I love you.”
“I love you,” Eddie answered instantly. “Always.”
#steddie#stranger things#Steve Harrington#Eddie Munson#both their dads are awful#can I tag#daddy issues#because that's what it is#panic attack#steddie fic#st fic#or would this be a ficlet?#i dont know what this is#starambles
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Kiddads headcanons: (Lark and Sparrow)
Sparrow:
drinks red wine out of a coffee mug every morning.
Sometimes mixes in actual coffee with the wine (it's fucking disgusting and makes Lark gag)
Low-key kinda an alcoholic in the way that white upper-middle class suburban moms are
Still wears the friendship bracelet him and Lark made for each other as kids, along with a bunch of those beaded circle bracelets and the leather strappy ones.
Abso-fucking-LUTELY rockin' the 'Burks.
Still really likes art and painting but feels weirdly guilty about it so he only does it when everyone else is out of the house.
Has so many crystals it's a fire hazard. (Rocks rock!)
Keeps them right next to the Incense too.
Eats reeses peanut butter cups when he's really drunk and cries about how guilty he is cause they're not vegan as he is actively shoving them in his mouth. He never remembers this in the morning.
Actually, weirdly does not like weed. It makes him paranoid and he starts acting like Lark.
Took shrooms once as was convinced he had prophetic doodler dreams where he saw the end of the world.
He was convinced because it's true. That's literally exactly what happened.
Before he lost his love wolf powers, he got drunk and wandered around in wolf form until he got caught by the pound and Lark had to pay 30 bucks to get him back.
He read homestuck as a kid and LOVED jade but he grew up and ended up more like roses mom.
Both him and Lark watched gravity falls as kids and routinely argued over which twin they were.
Hero once told sparrow that his ponytail made him look like a dead anime mom and it mentally fucked him up for 2 day before he cut his hair down to his shoulders "just incase"
Sparrow doesn't have a favorite. he loves both his children equally. (its hero)
Sparrow believes in his heart that he's a bad father and thinks that Lark would do a better job than him (despite evidence to the contrary)
When Sparrow started doing yoga, both Lark and Henry had a heart attack cause he would do EXACTLY what barry did and start just yoga-ing mid-conversation.
Sparrow is still afraid of snakes.
Sparrow still has dreams about when Lark died in Oakvale, and it scares the shit out of him. Because of that moment, Sparrow is so afraid of Lark dying alone on a mission that it has gotten them into screaming matches because Lark refuses to stop going off on his own.
Sparrows favorite TV show actually IS the sunrise because it's been so long since he's seen it. He paints it a lot.
Sparrows second favorite TV show is gossip girl.
Sparrow thinks Harry Potter is stupid cause real spells are nothing like the Harry Potter ones.... but like.... he also owns a hufflepuff sweater.
If sparrow paints when he's blackout drunk he always ALWAYS paints the doodler. He burns the paintings cause they give him nightmares.
Sparrow feels like he, personally, is the reason the doodler was released. Because his drawing is what started the whole mess.
However, he feels like Henry is responsible for what Lark did.
Sparrow participated in heros training but he wasn't the main source of it. And he's the one who made Lark cut it off.
Sparrow has no idea if either of his kids are actually his. He asked both Rebecca and Lark if the timing lined up and they both just grimaced.
He played barbies with his kids when they were little and considered going to AA meetings after hero made the dad barbie get drunk at 3pm and fall asleep on the couch crying.
Sparrow has seen ALLLL the barbie movies #dadofadaughterthings
His favorite is Princess and the Pauper.
Sparrow was the one who set the school on fire. After he became a love wolf, he wrote a letter of "apology" to the school suggesting they make their classrooms less flammable.
Sparrows favorite kiddad (aside from lark) was Terry Jr. But he wasn't really all that close with him. it's like when you just observe someone from the outside and get invested. They still hung out tho. But both Lark and Sparrow are personally closest with Grant.
Sparrow is more afraid of Lark dying than he is of himself dying.
Lark:
For the longest time, Lark had pretty short hair, especially in comparison to sparrow who grows his out. But after code purple Lark stopped really caring about cutting it.
Lark bitched about normal never washing his mascot costume but Larks bomber jacket hasn't been washed since before normal's birth.
He smells like cigarette smoke all the time.
Lark drinks black coffee like normal people drink water. he drinks it hot when he can, but he also drinks it cold out of a fucking flask like a psychopath.
His ass never sleeps, or when he does its like 4 hours a night. he's constantly running on 14 cups of coffee and a prayer.
like and share if both you and your twin have ADDICTION ISSUES.
speaking of addictive shit, lark does not drink. he's too fuckin on edge to allow himself to be in a vulnerable position. especially since he has to willingly put his mind at the mercy of the doodler shit.
he did, however, smoke weed a lot with nick as teenagers.
Lark didn't get that moment of being absoultely alone in the world like sparrow did when he watched lark die, so lark literally just doesn't comprehend how much it would effect other people if he died. so he's an insensitive asshole about it.
He cares if he dies, but only in the sense that he feels he's the most capable of the kiddads of fighting the doodler and keeping everyone alive, and dying would inconvenience that.
He got arrested for trying to sneak a gun into hero's 1st grade classroom, quote, "in case of emergencies. its fine. she knows how to use it." unquote.
shockingly, this arguments was not taken well by the police.
Lark lives with sparrow because both of them are a fucking wreck without each other and they need that other half to stabilize them.
Lark knows a shit ton about the rocks on old earth from henry and he HATES that its legitimately helpful knowledge on the plane where its really easy to loose your mind and forget where you are and knowing the geology of the terrain really helps navigation.
He wore his glasses one time. for his drivers test. and has never worn them since.
He's is a really really good driver. he doesn't follow any of the traffic laws, but he's never gotten pulled over, and he'll get you places 3 hours early. He knows how to parallel park too its insane.
during one of the "camping trips" with hero, Lark pretended to be a bear to "keep her on her toes" and got shot in the shoulder.
His ass has like three prepper bunkers.
Lark is no longer afraid of snakes. (lie)
he's not a vegan anymore, and he'd never admit it, but Lark actually still prefers a lot of the "vegan substitute meats" that he ate as a kid.
Larks hair is curlier than sparrows because sparrow brushes his and makes it fluffy rather than curly, but Lark hasn't brushed his hair a day in his life.
Lark definitely has a favorite. its hero.
Larks least favorite of Normal's spouses is Lincoln (he slapped him that one time)
When he was alive, Lark and Terry Jr. had that awkward relationship of like "our friends are friends, but I don't really like you"
The main reason Lark grew out his beard, doesn't wear glasses, is all in an effort to not look like Henry. It mostly works until it doesn't.
Sparrow doesn't make that effort to avoid looking like their dad, and sometimes, he looks just like Henry. Especially when he's being kind and fatherly to hero and normal. Lark feels really bittersweet about it.
Lark knows that the doodler is his fault.
Sparrow has walked in on Lark trying to wrap up actively bleeding wounds in the bathroom in the middle of the night so many fucking times they have a jar for it now.
This is extra annoying to sparrow because sparrow HAS HEALING SPELLS. there is NO REASON for Lark to be actively staining the carpets with blood on his tromp through the house.
Lark is the main one who was training hero, the training was much much more brutal when sparrow wasn't there.
He's deffo the one who made her kill a deer with her bare hands.
Lark got the idea from batman to make contingency plans for if any of his friends turn on him. They're all 10 pages long. Sparrow found his and Lark had to make a whole new plan cause now that one was compromised.
Lark was bribed into playing barbies with the kids and then got yelled at by sparrow when he made his barbie kill all the other barbies.
Grant got prescribed anxiety meds, and Lark made a huge deal about them dulling your senses and instincts so he doesn't take them.
Lark should be on anxiety meds.
#holy shit that took like literal days#they both have 35 facts each#dad facts#theyre both so so fucked up#unironically the fact that the fandom seems to hate sparrow more than lark has made me like sparrow better#you guys just dont get him like i do#sparrow oak#sparrow oak garcia#lark oak#lark oak garcia#henry oak#dndads s2#dungeons and daddies#the oaks are fucking awful messes of creatures i wanna study them#normal oak#hero oak#terry jr stampler#grant wilson#nick close#kiddads#headcanons#hc#them goddamn oak boys *shakes fist in the air*#rebecca swallows oak garcia#normal swallows oak garcia#hero swallows oak garcia
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not to make angst out of a fucking gag but also thinking about the silly au rei in the final episode makes me think about how different rei would be if she didn’t have literally the worst dad ever. like, no, she probably wouldn’t have been the upbeat adhd whirlwind in the high school au lmao. but it does just make me think. because while all the pilots lives are incredibly marked by trauma, rei's the only one to have never had access to any sort of normal life. her entire personality and worldview is shaped from being isolated, groomed, and taught to see herself as a tool and not a person. and then i just get so sad that she never had any chance of a normal life where she could discover herself and what she is. she went from being abused and manipulated by gendō (which is made even worse with the implications certain scenes leave about their relationship) to becoming god. she never had any chance of living a normal life. and just like. fuck.
#like when people talk about gendō being a bad dad it’s normally to do with shinji but like. he was an utterly abysmal dad to rei as well.#outside of the implications of csa even. like even outside of that she was isolated confined and used as a tool her whole life#like. it’s not like she can just leave. I mean none of the Eva pilots can just leave because they’re being groomed it’s horrible and awful#But like Rei specifically physically can’t leave. both bc she needs her medication which. I doubt anywhere else makes stuff to stop your#body from falling apart bc your at field aka like your fucking soul more or less just is failing.#but also bc like. she’s kinda literally vital for gendōs plans. there’s no way nerv would physically allow her to leave#god like. no wonder she was so insistent on her not getting better treatment than the rest despite the obvious favouritism of gendō#like. yeah maybe she gets scraps of affection but she’s also like. trapped. and also being abused.#fucking biting#free my girl she didn't do shit#Neon Genesis Evangelion
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Every description about Nico (especially the canon ones) describing him as “cold” can personally fight me. Nico is jaded, yes, and often closed-off and sometimes stand-offish and defensive but he is not "cold”. He cares SO SO SO MUCH about EVERYONE. He loves and cares with his entire heart constantly and that is a core part of his character. He doesn’t often make public shows of his affection but he takes care to be kind when it matters and doesn’t hide that he does care (usually, the only exception really being him being in the closet, but even then he only hid his crush specifically and not the fact that Percy is important to him). He fine with hugging his friends in front of a crowd and will sit with strangers at a campfire just so they’re not alone. I mean, heck, he’s an extrovert! We know this! He actively seeks out people and gets lonely very quickly and easily! If he can’t talk to living people he will chat with the dead! That’s how much he thrives on being social!
The only time Nico has ever been actively “cold” was the couple of months between TTC and BoTL when he was actively mourning Bianca. Nico is not “cold.” He loves so much and he does show it, just in his own way.
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#analysis#brought to you by: I saw a blurb for TSATS that said something like ''Will melted through Nico's icy heart/cold exterior''#and it made me want to tear something apart with my teeth because of how Blatantly Incorrect that is#like that is a disservice to both their characters.#a.) Will did not ''fix'' Nico or ''change'' him or anything. He is just a source of joy in Nico's life#TOA even explicitly acknowledges that them dating did not ''fix'' Nico and that Nico is actively getting outside help for his trauma/etc#and b.) Nico is not cold!!! He has never been a cold person!!! there's a reason ''emo'' is short for ''emotional!''#Nico's character is ENTIRELY DRIVEN BY LOVE AND CARE FOR OTHER PEOPLE#yes he's jaded but he's only jaded in a way of being afraid of letting people into his life because he's afraid to lose them#not that it stops him because it sure does keep happening anyways because SURPRISE. HE LOVES TOO MUCH.#HE LITERALLY CANNOT HELP HIMSELF HE LOVES PEOPLE SO STRONGLY AND SO DEEPLY HE CANNOT STAY JADED ABOUT IT#he just keeps going ''Okay *THIS* time I won't let this person into my life to risk heartbreak- AW FUCK I'VE DONE IT AGAIN''#SO MUCH of his character is entirely driven by ''I care about people. I dont want them to suffer what i have suffered or suffer at all''#like really the only times we ever see Nico being actively angry/snappy at people#is like a.) He is either actively being majorly hurt or has just recently been majorly hurt (Bianca's death. Being outed. etc)#b.) Someone is hurting others is going to bring harm to others (Calling out his dad in TLO. Killing Bryce)#or c.) Someone is doubting or calling into question his lived experiences (Basically any scene where people say he's pushing people away)#other than that Nico actually tends to give people way more lenience than necessary. he will put up with a LOT#and he won't even call people out on it or hold a grudge about it (i see you alleged Nico's fatal flaw. you're wrong)#unless it's like. something A Lot Of People Do Often (ex: push him away/exclude him/etc)#at which point he might be like. mildly upset about it but not much more then that. which is just a normal measured response.#anyways Nico's not cold he's just autistic
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#trc#tsubasa reservoir chronicles#clamp#syaoran#fai flourite#fai#look this scene was one of my favourite in the manga (<---says the same thing about 30 other scenes)#it's just so soft seeing syaoran clearly feeling so awful and kuro and fai are both just#most dad responses ever#these bitches are fambly....#awww hell yeah.... two daughter..... nice
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Instead of working I decided to create this incredibly specific familial chart of the kiryu family and extended family bc my brain is full of rot.
#kazama kiryu#yakuza#ryu ga gotoku#like a dragon#majima goro#saejima taiga#haruka sawamura#daigo dojima#everyone is co parenting haruka#it takes a village#sunflower orphanage#akira nishikiyama#kazumaji#god has cursed me for my hubris so my work of making shit yakuza content never ends#majima has two dads and they’re both awful
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#Tbh these are both awful choices#ninjago#lego ninjago#lego#nst 2 1-3#ninjago mogra#ninjago sora's dad
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going to dinner with my dad, manifesting nothing going down 🤞🤞🤞
#last time I'll see him before the divorce it's crazy#i know im an adult now and it doesn't really do much for me but its still crazy to me#i just hope he doesn't bring up something nuts and doesn't pull some fuckin trick idk man#i don't really trust either of my parents with this they're both constantly going behind my and each other's backs#so it's a tough situation I'm constantly getting prepared for some awful news even if i can't even come up with anything good..#except maybe that dad's cutting me off financially ugh.??? idk#idk well see#im just kinda nervous rn especially since im not talking to his entire side of the family so#ok ok bye#vent
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at which point of watching mad men did you know it was the show for you
Weirdly I have a very exact answer for this because I really remember that when Pete said he invented direct marketing except it already existed I was like blown away by how funny and real that is. I was a senior in high school binging the seasons that had aired thus far when I was supposed to be doing my college applications and then I got Joan's pen necklace for Christmas and would wear it to school
Anyone else remember their first moment of being hooked?
#had an absolutely awful moment when I was watching with headphones on and my back to the door#and my dad came in and caught me when I was literally supposed to be applying to college#still don't like wearing both headphones anymore almost ever tbh haha#I did get into and attend college like everyone relax!!
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it’s so fucked up that moss’s dad died AND THEN a day short of a month later, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. wtf universe.
#still have no answers btw even though my mom keeps calling surgery scheduling#moss and I feel awful bc we both have our moments where it’s hard to comfort each other. this fucking sucks. I feel awful#being scared for my dad rn
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Ananza is the wind deity, though she's not the first with that honor. Originally the elder gods selected a man as their wind deity but after he witnessed Oh and Fulj being punished he requested to relinquish his role. Basically asking them for a mortal death rather than immortality. They obliged since the deities exist to help humans and a miserable deity won't do the job properly so no need to keep a deity bound to a task they don't want to do.
So Ananza was selected as a replacement. Fulj has no recollection of the first wind deity and Ananza has already been told by the fire deities that it wasn't Fulj's fault but she was the final straw for the former wind deity. So, Ananza doesn't hold any dislike towards Fulj and actually really likes listening to her talk. Ananza loves to dance and wander around her city so when Fulj stops by to visit, she listens to Fulj's adventures while they roam the city.
Because there are two fire deities and one can stay in their city while the other wanders and because Fulj no longer has a city to be focused on, the three like to visit the other cities to check in. Ohime and Ohiwe really like to visit Ananza while Fulj prefers to visit Ymber. While Ananza likes Ohiwe, Ohime, and Fulj, she really isn't fond of the ice deity or Ymber. She doesn't like to scramble for topics and ice/Ymber don't start conversations enough so it's a bother to Ananza to try forcing friendliness. She loves light hearted stories though and Fulj and the fire deities excel at that type of story.
(Ohime and Ohiwe sometimes call her Nana and on that note it's lore in the tags time)
#the daily life of a deity sucks#also fwiw ! deacon doesnt really tell anyone but he really wants to meet the wind deity#because he might have lost his mom at a young age but she was originally from the city of wind and had wind magic#so he would watch his mom dance either solo or with his dad and it was always fun to him to watch how happy his mom was#so when he was told it was a dance she learned when she was a child he doesnt think much of it#but he sees ohime trying to show ymber a dance he was finally getting down and then ohime pauses#cause hes trying to remember and deacon is like oh you clap three times not two#and both ohime and ymber are staring at him like what did you just say#and deacon is like yeah uh you do the claps but kinda like this in order to keep the flow free and light#and ohime is just smugly looking at ymber saying oh ? really? youve been teaching him dance moves?#and ymber is just hey dont look at me so ohime is baffled and then fulj has?#and deacon says he learned of it a while ago from someone else haha sorry if hes wrong it could be wrong#thats why ymber asks him later about it and finds out deacons mom was originally an ananza follower#and is like huh wild while ohime is now plotting how to get ymber and deacon on a vacation to see ananza#and honestly i really just want to have deacon meeting ananza now and being in absolute awe of the deity#because THATS HER YMBER THATS THE ONE MY MOM WORSHIPPED#and ymber is able to be around deacon and ananza while they converse and that#helps ananza realize ymber isnt as cold and distant as she thought he was - fascinating#and also she likes deacon who holds her in such reverence despite being ymbers follower
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A couple of WIPs I am working on - I have even more than these ... I am so scatter-brained and often frustrated with my artwork that I never end up finishing them, so I thought I should maybe at least share a few WIPs :") Hoping I *can* finish them sometime. Alas! Romencken my beloved, my beloved Romencken ... I have many strong feelings for these two, and it's lovely to be very into something again. I'm also thankful for everyone who write fanfiction for these two because those fuel my passion even further! <3<3<3
(How typical is it for me to fall for the Toxic Yaoi couple? Very. Do I have any regrets? Nah.)
#romencken#roman roy#jeryd mencken#toxic yaoi maybe#art wip#my art#two dads ... but one is evil#just kidding#they're both awful
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analouge horror creators want what my mp3 player has (memory card corruption)
#even if i replace it the battery is still awful so eh#this was a nice plan#i have another one somewhere idk how that one is doing#i got both of these from my dad when they were already outdated. and they were the cheapest type#so i get why at least one is kinda bad
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For What It's Worth - read on ao3
As he and the former Minister of Intelligence set his affairs in order, Cipher Nine reflects on his career.
Excerpt:
The horror he’d endured in the wake of that accomplishment, the unapologetic abuse that had led him to walk open-eyed into a bureaucratic death—it had all been one long, agonizing descent from there, but in that brief, shining moment on the Dominator, his determination, his skill, his presence had meant something.
Maybe that was all any of them could hope for: a fleeting instant of potency. To stand at that precipice and affect some semblance of justice.
He looked up. “I have a question.”
#pravin and the minister fuck me right up y'all#the weird paternal power relationship. the enduring hurt. the way pravin bleeds and the minister refuses to apologize#because he's done so many awful things and the only way he can live with it is by bottling that shit right up#and pravin resents him for it but they've also been through a bureaucratic nightmare together with aligned priorities#so there's nevertheless this understanding. 'i hate you government!dad but i hope we both survive this despite it all'#ahhhhh#imperial agent#cipher nine#swtor keeper#minister of intelligence#swtor#swtor fic#swtor fanfiction#star wars the old republic#writing
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#its so weird. i feel like march 5th went on for more than a day somehow. i guess that's just bc we were awake for just abt all of it#my dad wanted to start doing things immediately so he was calling and scheduling all day. we went to the funeral home we went to the store#and it was weird bc as we were moving around it was like wow we r a 4 person family now. this is it. and theres so much to do after a person#dies. or at least there is when they were loved so much and jesus christ my mom was one of the best ppl a LOT of ppl knew. she did so much#for so so many ppl. and with her childhood she had every reason to b a fuck up but no she was kind and selfless and amazing. her mother is#trying to bask in the attention of her death when its like: truely go fuck urself. her being such a good person has nothing to do with u. u#treated her appallingly. fuck off. and fucking everyone knows it. god. she is a product of her grandparents kindness. and it sounds like her#dad was amazing like her. but he tragically died in a car wreck when she was 3. she was in the car. no one in my mums family believes in a#god now. too many bad things happened to the shining gems in a collection of wild alcoholics. but its not all bad. my family's staying close#my dad is taking it hard bc this means hes alone now and my mum took care of so many things bc she was so smart and he feels so dumb. he#feels he didnt deserve her. hes working on giving more hugs now. and hes using us to anxiously talk things out the way he did with mom#which is good. i cant imagine if this happened when we werent 3 adults and he was windowed with 3 kids to raise himself. and its funny. were#saying things we never would have told her. we looked thru pictures of her and she was so so beautiful. a total smoke show. my parents were#a cute couple who produced cute kids. and my mom had trouble communicating and being affectionate tho we knew she loved us there was#distance. theres a pic of my dad pulling her close and shes being tippef towarf her while standing away and thats indicitive of their#relationship. they were 2 partners who lived together independently and that worked but its sad bc my mum couldnt b vulnerable in her#expression. ppl r being so kind tho. ill be in ohio now for like 2.5 more weeks as the funeral stuff shakes out. we have to have 2 bc she#grew up away from her and so many ppl loved her in both locations. she was a popular lady. its so weird to b here on pause. but i feel clear#in my head. i think this will change a lot of my outlook on life. its nice to focus on the person she was and not the horrible 12hrs where i#saw her half dead. i cant imagine how awful it was for my sisters and dad to see her downslide into death. she didnt expect this to b The#Fever that killed her but it did and now she'll never finish a million things. and the house is full of pill bottles and all her junk and#unopened amazon packages and a truck with the fuel left on empty. bc she was an absent minded goofball. ay. well miss her so much#unrelated
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Amanda Grayson with her Hubby and Stepson
#I wanted to redesign Amanda Grayson bc I like her flamboyant old woman look but when she's young they always style her look very bland#and proper...and I want her to look like kind of a hippie teacher mess#Amanda & Sarek - annoying girl x killjoy guy#we are each insufferable in our own unique ways#Amanda has a way of getting to people - whether it's good or bad depends on the person but she's someone you remember and who it's easy to#end up talking to for hours and Sarek realizes this too late...before he even knows whats happening he's grocery shopping with this woman as#they both complain about how BRIGHT the store lights are#Sarek: (on date number five) ..........I have a son by the way / Amanda: Aw shit. Let's go to chuck E Cheese.#Amanda goes into Sarek's quarters for the first time and is like this place is AWFUL!! and by the end of the week she's redecorated.#She built him a bedside table. He bought her a pair of gaudy earrings which she loved but didn't get herself during one of their shopping#trips bc she exclaimed 'Ugh! Who do I think I am!?' and speed walked away#Also last bit of personal lore but Amanda told Sarek (as a joke) that before they got married he should ask her father first#(she said this bc Sarek asked her to marry him on like the second date since Vulcans don't date - she said no)#so when Sarek meets Amanda's father he asks the man to marry him - misinterpreting her words (Amanda DIES laughing)#Sarek seems straight but tradition is tradition - if he has to marry Amanda's dad before he can marry her he'll deal with it#Stepmom Amanda swag...she's gonna give this grumpy lil boy a piggyback ride and giggle about his dad with him#anyway...I like this version of Amanda - she makes her own kombucha and insists you take a jar home with you#Sarek/Amanda#star trek#star trek art#Sarek#Amanda Grayson#sarek art#amanda grayson art#bea art tag#Sarek calls Amanda : dear darling beloved blossom my heart etc#Amanda calls Sarek: elbows knees bigntall sharpie etc#the times she calls him stuff like 'honeycake' and other such stupid-sweet things are times he pretends to find baffling but cherishes 4ever#couple that has a list of things to ask before they eat at a new place#Is it vegetarian? Is it kosher? Is it organic? Is it spicy?
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