i had to do the dishes tonight and as i was doing i was thinking “this is self care” and then i didn’t feel dead inside anymore :D

truly a great tip 🥰

this makes me so happy like you have no idea 🥹 i’m also very proud of you omg look at you gooo!!!

i’m really glad and happy that these ramblings helped you, though, i felt like i got lost in there for a little bit 😂🥰🤍 i believe in you so so much, and you deserve to rest now 🫶

made this to match my url and i think it’s 💚perfection 💚

To Keep Track of My Own Fic...

Here is the updated part list for "What If Steve Were To Leave Hawkins?". This fic is now finished and the end result has 20 parts!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Part 17

Part 18

Part 19

Part 20: Epilogue

Now on Ao3!

Updated Taglist: @nickavalens @conversesweetheart @themostunoriginalpersonever @swimmingbirdrunningrock @eddiethegreatteddybear @harrumphingtons @call-me-big-eyes @moonshadows-13 @glittergluekintsugi @cpidcupk @doubleb11 @mentalcyborg @amoris-no-smut-allowed @purple-lemonade @labels-are-for-the-weak @thebrazilianatheist @rajumat @livelaughlexa @5ammi90 @colorful565 @marvelousforlife @chaoticcoffeequeen @gregre369 @suddenlyinlove @thegreatmistake @stillfullofshit @nburkhardt @batxsignalsx @newunknowns @thosemessyvibes @tailsfromthecrypt @luciana-rowan @bird-with-pencils @adaed5 @lolawon @flustratedcas @iwillfindmyneverland @messrs-weasley @skoomy-doompy @yearningagain @forest-fogg @bitchysunflower @stardust-era @newtstabber @bobatrash-queen @notjasontxdd @ohlook-afrog @00biscuit @grtwdsmwhr @oxidantdreamboat @the-witch-forever-lives @estrellami-1 @whatthemeepever @a-simple-gaywitch @imzadidragonfly @freddykicksasses @krimsonsimp @whatthefuccck @delta-piscium @anaibis @tinynebula @darkwitchoferie @evix-syne666 @tawghasa @pyrohonk @lillys-weird-world @superduckmilkshake @paintsplatteredandimperfect @tiny-enthusiast @whalesharksart @krazyperson @username-i-guess @ilikechocolatemilkh @awkwardgravity1 @romanticdestruction @espressopatronum454 @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit

hello beautiful 💚 i just read the new part of who did this to you and you always deliver 🥰 super excited for part 4

i’m also here to ask if you have any tips for getting motivated to do things! if i remember you just moved to a new place right? i also moved to live on my own recently and i’m having a hard time not being a couch potato 🫠

hello lovely 🤍 i’m honestly so happy that you liked this recent part, because i feel it’s so different from the rest, i feel, so all the kindness y’all been throwing at me just. i’m so obsessed with yall 🥹🥰🤍

whoofie, that’s a tough one!! i did just move into a new place (and it’s been treating me so well honestly 🥹) and honestly i’m just so happy and excited that i get to just exist for myself yknow? i think that’s where i draw a lot of my motivation from — i was so afraid that once i lived alone i wouldn’t Get Shit Done anymore because i felt like a lot of the time i was Doing Things just so my roomie wouldn’t have to do them or so she’d not feel uncomfortable in her own home yknow?

but i found out that i love it when things are tidy, so i tidy tiny little spaces every few days. and i do it in bouts, yknow? don’t think “i’m gonna clean the flat today” and rather think “it’s been a while since i done laundry, so that’ll be my thing for the day” and then it’s so so bearable. or just go “i’ll give myself 20 minutes to take out trash and do the dishes” because most of the time it’s tiny things that will make such a difference.

like, your trinkets and knickknacks and those pens and those letters or whatever, they can stay where they are, they’re not bothering anyone. but that trash? collecting empty containers or wrappers for one minute will make you feel so much better, and it doesn’t take too much effort, because you’re not staring at all your space finding things that are out of place and need to be moved back to their place. you just see a wrapper here, a price tag there, a yogurt container over there on your desk.

and those are usually the things that weigh on you. the things that stare at you. trash, dishes and laundry. and no one in the world can tell you that you gotta do it all at the same time on the same day. and then sometimes, when you’re collecting the trash, you’ll find yourself picking up a knickknack here and a book there, a letter that needs to go with the others or that thing you’ve been meaning to mail.

and if you don’t, then that’s fine. but you will.

so i guess what motivates me is making all those tiny chores about making myself feel good. it’s self care, taking out that trash. it’s self care, washing those plates and cups. at least it’s self care when it’s done!

something else that helps me is being patient with myself and making plans. genuine plans of “tomorrow i’ll do this” — and not just because i don’t wanna do it today. but because i know that if i start my day tomorrow already improving my space, then that day is on its way to only getting better, and i’ve already accomplished things 🥰

the thing is a lot of us grow up in a world where we take out the trash because our parents tell us, we do the dishes because our roommates say it’s our turn, and we wash because we’re told we smell or whatever. it’s always external, that motivator. so maybe start by listening to yourself, lending an ear to that little voice inside of you that feels better about living in a clean(er) space. that little voice that loves the smell of laundry detergent. the one that’s proud of yourself for having done all those dishes because that really is an accomplishment.

listen to those little voices and then try to get them to come out more often; just for yourself. and then in time you’ll learn to find joy in just having done things. and personally i need that kind of joy, because i’m not someone who can enjoy the process. but i like taking care of myself; i like those little voices. 🥰🤍

and also?? personally, to-do lists help me. a little reminder that i’ve done things. maybe apps where you earn XP for having done things, gamified chores or whatever. they’re an immense help when i am in too deep a darkness that i can’t hear any happy voices. setting a timer helps. 30 minutes to Do Things. or maybe start with 3 minutes.

and also learn for yourself what’s most important to you when it comes to Doing Things, and learn to cater to that.

ah shit i rambled. is that any help at all? 😂 i hope it is hdhdhd mwah!! 🤍 (anyone else have any tips, drop them in the comments or tags 🥰🫶)

AAAAHHHHHGGG!! part 6 was so beautiful!!! sad in the most beautiful way!! 🥺🥺 I don’t know if you’d gonna post on AO3 but this is a fic I’m definitely coming back to read over and over again!! the rawness of their love and fear is captured so magnificently!!!!!!!

not sure if you plan on writing a part for chrissy and robin (i’m assuming she’s chrissy soul consuming, universal-law written love), i hope they get their happy ending too!!! 🥺🥺💚

gotta say one of my favorite parts was wayne’s moment with steve!!! I’ve seen a lot of fics who just make wayne back eddie up in whatever decision he makes and not really have his own opinion… and the way you wrote that just completely broke my heart about how much wayne cares for steve!!!

aaaaah this whole fic is absolute perfection to me!!! so glad I found your blog and got the chance to experience this story!! 💚🥺🥺

much love to you!!! 💚💚

aaah thank you so much!! i’m glad y’all like part 6, i felt like it needed to be a little sad, a little tragic, even with the happy ending on the horizon, because seven years or ten years or a lifetime of unrequited love and yearning aren’t easily overwritten, and they’re gonna have to learn to get the sadness and wistfulness out of their love. and work on it. and talk. and they kinda know that and it’s all raw and vulnerable. a plain and simple happy ending wouldn’t have been easily believable, i feel. but i also get the need and want for things to be easy and happy so yeah. i really love the way people love this story 🥺🥰

(am rambling again, i could always ramble about these two and the intricacies of their emotions in various fics of mine fhdhdh)

so thank you so much for saying that 🥺🥹🫶🤍

i’m definitely gonna put this on ao3, a few people have asked me to already. but i’m definitely gonna edit this a bit, make it flow better, etc etc — and yeah, potentially either add more buckingham, or write their own story. it’s just that it’s steddie week, and a similar focus on chrissy and robin would have felt misplaced (just like. yknow. writing angsty yearning barely-✨happy✨ ending fic. yknow yknow), but i kinda don’t want them to be left out.

god yes i loved writing the wayne part. that “i figured it would have been you” comment was something that i really wanted to write from the beginning of this :D with the way i constructed steve and eddie’s friendship/relationship in general, there’s no way that wayne 1) wouldn’t know, and 2) would simply take one side. he’d know that eddie moved on because otherwise he’d have been ruined. he’d also have seen the shift in steve at some point and been aware of their predicament/situations without judgment.

good papa wayne all round idk 🫶

anyway THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE 🥺😭🤍 appreciate it and you so much, hugging you so tight! 🌷🤍

I’m devouring your fics on ao3 and… idk how I have lived without reading “nice to meet you, where have you been?”

the whole fic is complete perfection!!! 🥺💚

I was twirling my hair and kicking my feet the whole time while reading it!!! giggling like a high schooler!!!!!! 🥺🥺 i’m such a sucker for fluffy stories and your work is honestly my favorite of all i’ve ever read!!! if you have any more ideas you didn’t write out for this world I’d love to hear it 🥺🥺🥺

feeling like a little goblin just reading every work you published there!!

I’m also so happy I found your blog so that I can share with you how lovely your work is!!! the whole story is a fluff fest but you still put little things that add to the underlying struggles that eddie and steve have faced in their life without overshadowing the fluff and it makes the world build so so so incredible!!! if you ever decide to make a patreon or anything similar you can bet I’ll be there to support you!!!

I have a big passion for writing and seeing someone so sweet and nice with such amazing writing skills makes me want to support your work anyway i can!!! just idk if this is just a hobby but if you ever do decided to make it more than that I’ll be your #1 fan!!! 💚💚💚

if flowercrowngods has 1000 fans, I’m one of them!

if flowercrowngods has 10 fans, I’m on of them!

if flowercrowngods has 0 fans, I’m dead!

(you know the meme? hehe)

much love 💚💚

i’m horribly embarrassingly late to answering this but i just wanted to hold on to this a little longer.

i love that you really really liked my lil tattoo shop au, i think it’s the fluffiest thing i’ve ever written for this fandom? because it’s like unadulterated joy, very little heaviness woven into it 🥹

i don’t actually think i have more for it? just that chrissy has this bakery and steddie almost had their morning after date there. eddie’s gonna introduce them, though, because the second he meets robin he thinks “wow i think you can be the love of my platonic soulmate, i need you guys to meet”. buckingham is a no-brainer for me.

robin also draws the most obscure tattoos and dares steve to tattoo them — either on himself or on costumers he deems worthy. the binder, remember? Upside Down tattoos, etc. she makes steve draw on her skin, too, because she’s afraid of needles still but loves his art, and they spend some of their nights like that, with music on and just drawing on each other.

i also love that you found my blog :D and i love even more that i found yours first, way back when 🤍 the thing about you asking if i have a patreon or just claiming that you’d support me there has taken me out for real, i swear. that’s. that’s so 🥺 unbelievable idk, i can’t put it in words; what that means to hear someone say this 🫶 especially because like. this ain’t my first language. so really all the compliments etc just feel so much more special for it 🥺🤍

anyway i’ll stop gushing now, i’m just really really touched. thank you thank you thank you 🥺 i’m so glad you’ve been enjoying my words so far, the happy and the sad ones 🌷

thank u sm for the sweet words on my writing i was so scared to post it 🥹💚 *holds ur hand* ily ok bye 💚

of course omg!! 🥹🥰 and i get that fear so much, i remember the absolute petrification upon posting my first steddie thing way back when, but you really don’t need to be scared, it’s such a fun idea and what you made of it was so cute and sweet!! 🥰 *holds you holds you holds you* 🤍

i did use a different url! i don’t remember what it was tho :/

ur so talented and the fact that you follow me is still like mind blowing to me lol 💚

i don’t remember either but that’s fine :D

and pls i’m just a lil weirdo on the weirdo website who writes words sometimes 🥺😭 the fact that you like them so much is still mind blowing to me!! 🤍 thank you lovely aah 🫶🤍🌷

(me forgetting about steddie week was definitely a compliment LOL sorry for the miscommunication!!!)

PART 7 WAS SO LOVELY!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺

The softness of their relationship, the reluctance, their earning, THEM 🥺💚 It’s so soul healing to see them learning how to feel their love and feel happy instead of thorn inside 🥺 it’s one of the first times I see such a real depiction of healing heartache and it’s so beautiful!!!

when steve called robin and both were so happy they couldn’t find the words just warmed my heart so so much!!!

i’m feeling like a little squirrel with their checks full of nuts!! so we’ll feed!! mwuah mwuah 💚 thank you for this masterpiece ✨💚💚

super excited to see any future work you put out!!! have an amazing day/afternoon/nigh, lovie ✨✨✨💚💚

(also sorry for spamming your ask i just really love your work 🥺)

first of all never apologise for spamming my ask box, i love that so so much 😭🥺 and thank you hnnng it like. really really means so much to me that you love my work (enough to want to talk to me about it dhdhdh)

IM GLAD YOU LIKED PART 7!!!!

i’m always so. kinda anxious about ending things. especially complex things — there’s like still so much emotional labour to go through and healing to happen and a whole to of love to relearn and rewire, but boy was i not up for that 😂 that’s why it’s so snippety, just focusing on the nice stuff with hints at vulnerability and all that jazz we’ve seen enough of now (tho some still say it’s not enough and i hear ya 😂🫶)

i’m glad i could be your first like that! 🥺🥰

and again, thank you so so so much for rambling in my ask and in my tags and just. thank you 🥹🤍 i hope you have the best time, too! ✨

please I love reading your ramblings about steddie!! 🥺 it’s so nice to see how people play around with their dynamic and different stories that come with it!! 💚

it makes sense that rn you’re focusing on steddie since it’s steddie week lol I was so invested in your story as a whole I kinda forgot!

and about wayne, that line!!! “i figured it would have been you” BROKE MY HEART FOR STEVE!! it’s like my heart was breaking with him!!

aah i’m definitely gonna go re-read this right now!! i just can’t get it out of my mind!! 🥺🥺

kjsdkfh oh i love that you forgot this was a steddie week story 😂 i'm taking that as a compliment, mwah!

god yeah writing all of part 2 kinda broke me actually. i mean i chose this, but damn 😂😔

still can't believe you re-read this thing. boggles my mind. you madlad 🫶 i hope that now with the happy ending, your mind can get some rest sdfk 🤍

my spidersona that doesn’t have a name yet :P she has a flower/gardener theme going on.

for anyone who is also unhealthily obsessed with stevie and edith <3

and yes i hc stevie to be a kpop fan in a modern au so

about to write steve angst, good thing the national just put out a new album 👀

A Hopper Snippet from "What If Steve Were To Leave Hawkins?"

So this is a Hopper POV set sometime between the second and third parts of the story. I didn't think it fit well in the story but it works as an extra snippet!

~*~*~*~

Hopper had been through a lot. He’d lost his mother at a young age, gone to war and seen things that no one should ever see. He lost his little girl far too soon, was presumed dead after the mall fire, and was tortured for months in a Russian prison. With that being said, he’s never felt as panicked and frantic as he did right now learning that the boy he considered a son was gone. 

“Okay, what do you mean he disappeared? Did he just take a day for himself or is this another Barbara Holland situation?” He asked the kids, trying to remain calm.

“No! He’s gone. Eddie and I went to his house and his dad said that he kicked him out. We can’t find him, Steve is missing!” Dustin wailed, teetering on the verge of tears. 

“Do you have any idea where he would go? Did you check with Nancy or Robin? He wouldn’t just leave.” Steve was an extrovert at heart and Hopper found it hard to believe that he wouldn’t contact at least one of his friends that he was close to. 

“Hopper, I’m telling you that no one has seen him in weeks. He stopped wanting to hang out with us so we were giving him space. Nancy hasn’t talked to him since the grad party and Robin is out of town. We don’t know where else he would go because he doesn’t have any friends besides us!”

Hopper’s heart shuttered. If he truly got kicked out by his parents, why wouldn’t he come to him? He always made a point of letting Steve know that he would always be welcome at the cabin when he helped rebuild it. Every gathering at Joyce’s, he would let him know how important he was to the group. But thinking back, Hopper had never blatantly said that Steve was the son he’d always wanted, that he liked having him around and being able to check in on the kid. 

He probably didn’t leave. If his parents truly did kick him out of their museum of a home, he was probably just sulking about it at the quarry or in the woods somewhere. Steve wouldn’t just ditch town, no way.

Hopper nodded to himself, appeased at his attempt at self comfort. “Alright, I’m going to go talk to Richard and Cynthia. You kids head home and I’ll call you later to let you know what I find out. I’m sure he’s just hiding out somewhere around town. Got it?”

The kids nodded sullenly and made their way out of the station and to their bikes. Hopper sighed, when he found the kid, he was going to smack him upside the head for making them all worry. He just hoped he found him soon.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20: Epilogue

Updated Taglist: @nickavalens @conversesweetheart @themostunoriginalpersonever @swimmingbirdrunningrock @eddiethegreatteddybear @harrumphingtons @call-me-big-eyes @moonshadows-13 @glittergluekintsugi @cpidcupk @doubleb11 @mentalcyborg @amoris-no-smut-allowed @purple-lemonade @labels-are-for-the-weak @thebrazilianatheist @rajumat @livelaughlexa @5ammi90 @colorful565 @marvelousforlife @chaoticcoffeequeen @gregre369 @suddenlyinlove @thegreatmistake @stillfullofshit @nburkhardt @batxsignalsx @newunknowns @thosemessyvibes @tailsfromthecrypt @luciana-rowan @bird-with-pencils @adaed5 @lolawon @flustratedcas @iwillfindmyneverland @messrs-weasley @skoomy-doompy @yearningagain @forest-fogg @bitchysunflower @stardust-era @newtstabber @bobatrash-queen @notjasontxdd @ohlook-afrog @00biscuit @grtwdsmwhr @oxidantdreamboat @the-witch-forever-lives @estrellami-1 @whatthemeepever @a-simple-gaywitch @imzadidragonfly @freddykicksasses @krimsonsimp

@whatthefuccck @delta-piscium @anaibis @tinynebula @darkwitchoferie @evix-syne666 @tawghasa @pyrohonk @lillys-weird-world @superduckmilkshake @paintsplatteredandimperfect @tiny-enthusiast @whalesharksart @krazyperson @username-i-guess @ilikechocolatemilkh @awkwardgravity1 @romanticdestruction @espressopatronum454 @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit

was tagged by @withacapitalp (thank you dear 🤍) to post the covers of 9 of my favourite albums, here’s my selection!

i’m tagging — without pressure or expectations 🤍 — @bethespark @toboldlynerd @waywaychuck @thefreakandthehair @aphroditestummyrolls @bitchysunflower and @marshmellowpaint 🫶