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#bison steaks
dgalevisuals · 2 years
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Lake Huron camping trip, Michigan, 2019
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beckandbulow · 2 years
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Mouthwatering Bison Ribeye Cheesesteak Sandwich Recipe
This cheesesteak recipe is absolutely to die for. If you’re a traditional Philly cheesesteak fan, you might opt to leave off the green peppers and mushrooms. You could also substitute the provolone cheese for white American, or spray cheese if you really want to stick to an authentic recipe. The other way this sandwich has been altered from a traditional cheesesteak is with the use of bison ribeye rather than beef. Although I love our beef, I have a special affinity for our bison ribeyes. They’re incredibly good and I couldn’t resist using them for this recipe. You could easily substitute sirloin steak for a more cost effective option.
Ingredients:
🍴 1 lb bison ribeye steak 🍴 2 fresh hoagie rolls, buttered and toasted 🍴 1 tablespoon butter 🍴 2 tablespoons bison tallow 🍴 ½ vidalia onion, sliced 🍴 ½ green bell pepper, sliced 🍴 3-4 baby bella mushrooms, sliced 🍴 Sea salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste 🍴 4 slices provolone cheese 🍴 Mayonnaise to taste. https://bit.ly/2FrO74v
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imp-thing · 3 months
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My fault
(Featuring Hateclub)
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43sol · 1 year
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Sis wrote the most crack, most spelling-error, most uninformed oneshot of T&B that is somehow in-character and awful and I cried real tears of horror and joy. My heart is full right now. imma draw a Most Serious comic of this.
~~~~
Baranby opens his texting app fully expecting that the old  man was having another crisis only to be pleasantly surprised at the content of the messages. 
---
The rapid fire rate of incoming  texts could only mean one person was the sender. 
Hey Bunny-chan!!!~  (^_-)-☆
Crazy week right??! ( ༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ ) 
Well i dont know bout you but i want to kick back and have soem FUn 
And guess what?
And he supposes at this point Kotestu had wanted him to guess but he didn’t answer in the appropriate time alloted and grew impatient. 
Director got me some coupons to a fancy restaurant
And since we still havnet gotten our drinks yet 
Meet me friday at this location!! ∩(·ω·)∩
An address pops into his maps. 
Dont forget to dress up! (≧∇≦)/
—-
Barnaby should have known that something was up when the old man told him to dress up but he was too distracted by the butterflies in his stomach and the heat in his cheeks to think clearly. And by the time Friday rolled around, he had already arrived 20 minutes early dressed in his nines when reality finally began to sober him up. 
He can’t believe he wasted the suit that (as Fire Embelm put it) “made his ass extra phat” on this place. 
He stands there a little too long slack-jawed that Kotetsu actually finds him outside the restaurant. 
“Hey Bunny-chan!” he says in a way that makes Baranby’s heart flutter but also gives him the urge to wrap his hands around that thick sturdy neck, “glad you could make it!”
And there he is. Dressed in his normal clothes.
“I thought you said to dress fancy?” 
“Uh yeah, see?” He does a little twirl and tips his cap forward. “I got my shirt ironed.”
“Old man-” but before he could finish he is ushered inside and they are seated in ‘the best seat in the house’ because oh god Kotestsu actually made a reservation. 
This establishment  is a place Baranby never thought he would in a million years find himself in. But since meeting Wild Tiger, these event have been happening more and more often. 
Looking around the Texas-style decor, the waiters in cowboy outfits and just so much bovine memorabilia…
“This is Tyson Bison Steakhouse and Winery.”
“Yeah super fancy right?!” 
“It’s a franchise.”
“A fancy franchise!”
“There is a cardboard cut out of Tyson Bison behind you.”
“ It’s like having our friends here but not!”
Obviously nothing could ruin the good mood for Kotetsu T Karuragi. Who has seduced not one, but two people in his life with his buffoonary. 
“Whatever.” 
“That’s the spirit! And don’t worry,” he takes the coupons out of his vest and fans himself with them like a rich old lady, “Dinner’s on me!”
—-
Ok. The food wasn’t horrible. 
And the company wasn’t either. 
Maybe he was even enjoying himself? Maybe Kotetsu-san really did have good ideas sometimes. They needed some time to let loose. What was a better place no one would bother them than the franchise chain one of their friends/coworkers sponsors?
And then the check came. 
Kotetsu, in total confidence, hands the cowboy-waiter his coupons with a smile and a wink. The cowboy-waiter is not impressed. 
“Sir, these coupons are good for a free appetizer. I still need your payment information.” 
Wild Tiger laughs nervously. 
Barnaby starts to feel his blood pressure rise. 
“But you see my buddy, the DIRECTOR OF JUSTICE, gave these to me. For a meal here!”
“Yes and the coupons are good for an appetizer.” 
“I don’t see that written here.”
“Please look at the fine print sir.” 
Oh course the old man’s downfall was him being …well old. 
Barnaby decides to throw him a bone especially since the dinner wasn’t that bad. He pulls out his credit card only to be stopped by Tiger grabbing his wrist. 
“I can’t let you do that Bunny. I’m treatin’ ya today.” 
He scoffs. “You didn’t bring enough money old man, I’ll pay.” 
“No I am.” 
“an d how are you going to do that?” 
Kotetsu points to the cardboard cut out behind him. “That’s how.”
“You can’t be serious” 
“You can’t be serious sir”
“I’m very serious Bunny. The sign says if I can finish a 35 ib steak in 20 mins the meal is free.” Kotetsu turns to the waiter, “So bring me my steak!”
“Sir please.”
“Kotetsu san please, this is ridiculous.”
But Kotetsu already is re seated, tying a bib around his neck, fork and knife ready. 
“Bring me my steak!” 
With much horror, Sternbuild’s number one hero watches as the wait staff bring out a massive steak to his waiting partner and a large comically hourglass. 
The original cowboy-waiter looks like he wants to be anywhere but here. But regardless he does his job, “Begin!” 
And Kotetsu shoves the steak into his mouth.
Which lasts about 20 seconds.
Barnaby watches in horror as his work partner and life buddy makes the universal sign for choking and falls to the restaurant floor. 
Diners begin screaming and the wait staff begin scrambling to call the ambulance. 
Barnaby himself falls to the floor next to Tiger’s side as the love of his life gasps and spits out steak chunks. 
Once the coughing subsides, Barnaby can make out a raspy (but sexy) words, “I’m sorry Bunny-chan… I just wanted… to show you a good time…”
“Old man, you’re so stupid…” He would of had fun regardless of where they were. 
Still coughing but able to sit up, “Next time… you choose the place!” 
Barnaby couldn’t help but chuckle. 
“We will waive your bill if you leave now.” Both of the heroes turn to see the original cowboy-waiter behind them, “and if you two never come back we won’t press charges.”  
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getcakrecipes · 11 months
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Delicious Stuffed Pork Tenderloin Recipe
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sorrellegiance · 1 year
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ok i cannot believe i am getting worked up right before bed over how badly gabe kapler chopped that garlic
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rabbitcruiser · 22 days
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Fresh Tomato Day
Fresh Tomato Day is celebrated on April 6, as a day to appreciate the beauty of fresh tomatoes. Tomatoes are plants that are grown in temperate and tropical regions of the world and are a significant source of umami flavor. They are typically consumed raw or cooked. It is common to find that numerous varieties of the tomato plant are widely grown in temperate climates across the world, with purpose-built greenhouses aiding the production of tomatoes throughout all the seasons of the year. Tomato plants typically grow between three and 10 feet in height, with vines and a weak sprawling stem.
History of Fresh Tomato Day
The tomato is said to have descended or evolved from the “Solanum pimpinellifolium,” which is also known as the currant tomato or wild tomato, native to western South America. These wild tomatoes were smaller than the tomatoes we have in today’s times and they were usually about the size of peas. The domestication, so to speak, of tomatoes, traces back to the Aztecs and other Mesoamerican peoples, who used the fruit fresh and employed its use for cooking. Tomatoes came into Europe through the Spanish, and they became a very regular feature of Spanish food. In other European countries such as France, Italy, and others to the North of Europe, the tomato was initially grown as an ornamental plant, like flowers.
The tomato was met with skepticism as a type of food based on the fact that it was thought to be nightshade by botanists. This skepticism and suspicion were compounded by the acidity of the tomato juice. The tomato was even nicknamed the “poison apple,” because it was believed that it caused aristocrats to get sick and die after eating them. The possible reason for these reactions was that wealthy Europeans of that time, used pewter plates, which were rich in lead, and because tomatoes are so high in acidity, the fruit would leach lead from the plate upon coming in contact with it, eventually leading to led poisoning and eventually death.
Limited knowledge made it impossible for anyone at the time to connect the dots between plate and poison at the time and so the easier alternative was to blame the tomato. The leaves of the tomato and its immature fruit contain tomatin, which could be toxic in large amounts. However, the ripe tomato fruit does not contain tomatin.
Fresh Tomato Day timeline
700 A.D. Earliest Known Use of Tomatoes
The earliest known use of tomatoes traces back to the Aztecs from around 700 A.D. who use them to cook their food.
1800s Migration Brings Tomatoes to America
The mass migration of Italian people to America is credited with the introduction of tomatoes in America.
1889 Esposito of Naples Makes a Tomato Pizza
On a visit of the King and Queen of Italy to Naples in 1889, Esposito makes a pizza with tomato toppings.
2005 Earliest Mention of F.T.D. in Print
The earliest mention of Fresh Tomato Day is in a newspaper.
Fresh Tomato Day FAQs
What is Fresh Tomato Day?
Fresh Tomato Day, celebrated on April 6, is a day meant to appreciate the beauty and benefits of fresh tomatoes.
Are tomatoes healthy?
Yes, they are. Tomatoes are good for the human heart and consuming them once in a while would keep you healthy for longer.
Is a tomato a fruit?
Yes, a tomato is technically a fruit that is sometimes considered a vegetable. It is an edible part of a plant with seeds, and as such, is a fruit.
Fresh Tomato Day Activities
Eat some tomatoes
Host a tomato-throwing party
Share on social media
What better way to celebrate Fresh Tomato Day than to simply eat (or drink) some? Make a tomato sandwich, or order some tomato pizza; either way, you’re good to go.
Another fun idea for Fresh Tomato Day is to host a tomato-throwing party. This would be fun, but be careful not to waste too many tomatoes.
Share all the fun and join the online tomato conversation using the #FreshTomatoDay hashtag. Share the history of the day online!
5 Interesting Facts About Tomatoes
There are 10,000 varieties of tomatoes
The first tomatoes were gold
Tomatoes have color varieties
‘Tomato’ is a Spanish word
China is the largest tomato producer
Tomatoes have up to 10,000 distinct varieties.
The first tomatoes were not red as we know them today, but were gold-colored and widely considered to be aphrodisiacs.
They have varying colors such as purple, green, and white, however, only red tomatoes are displayed at markets for quality standard purposes.
The origin of the word ‘tomato’ is from the Spanish word ‘tomate.’
China produces the largest number of tomatoes in the whole world!
Why We Love Fresh Tomato Day
Tomatoes are healthy
Tomatoes are tasty
Tomatoes can be consumed in various ways
Tomatoes have been proved to be good for the human heart. We love this!
Tomatoes are tasty, especially when cooked or used as a flavoring in food. There’s nothing better than the taste of fresh tomatoes in your spaghetti bolognese!
Tomatoes aren’t only cooked as a soup or used as pizza toppings. They can also be consumed as a healthy drink or simply consumed raw.
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enokgroven · 7 months
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Molasses Marinade for Beef You can quickly prepare your own beef marinade if you have some molasses, brown sugar, ketchup, lemon juice, oregano, garlic powder, and onion powder on hand. The meat will taste best if the marinade is left on it overnight before cooking.
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jandws · 8 months
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Molasses Marinade for Beef You can quickly prepare your own beef marinade if you have some molasses, brown sugar, ketchup, lemon juice, oregano, garlic powder, and onion powder on hand. The meat will taste best if the marinade is left on it overnight before cooking.
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Baby Shower Cake Doesn't Have To Be Hard. Read These Four Tips
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One popular example of fusion cooking is Korean-Mexican fusion, also known as Ko-Mex. This fusion combines Korean BBQ with Mexican flavors and ingredients. For example, Korean BBQ tacos can be made by using marinated beef, topped with kimchi, salsa, and lime wedges. Another example is a Korean-Mexican burrito, which combines Korean BBQ chicken with beans, rice, cheese, and salsa, wrapped in a flour tortilla.
Another popular fusion cuisine is Indian-Chinese. This fusion combines the bold and spicy flavors of Indian cuisine with the savory and umami flavors of Chinese cuisine. One popular dish is the Indian-Chinese chili chicken, which is made by stir-frying chicken with onions, bell peppers, tiktok cake and a spicy chili sauce. Another example is the Manchurian fried rice, which combines Chinese fried rice with Indian spices and vegetables.
Lastly, we have the Italian-Thai fusion, which combines the hearty and comforting flavors of Italian cuisine with the fresh and zesty flavors of Thai cuisine. One popular dish is the Thai green curry pasta, which combines green curry paste with pasta, chicken, and vegetables. Another example is the Thai basil pesto pizza, which replaces traditional basil with Thai basil and tops the pizza with chicken, peppers, and onions.
In conclusion, fusion cooking is a creative and exciting way to explore different cultures and flavors. By combining different ingredients and techniques, you can create unique and delicious dishes that can take your taste buds on a culinary adventure. So next time you're in the kitchen, try experimenting with different flavors and see what delicious fusion recipes you can come up with!
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beckandbulow · 2 years
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How To Cook Delicious Steak Using Only An Instant Pot
If you’re living in a studio without a full kitchen, a dorm room, or any other place where you don’t have access to a stove-top, not to worry – you can still cook delicious steaks. All you need is an Instant Pot. If you don’t already have one, you’ve probably heard about this gadget’s indispensable usefulness in the kitchen. You can cook just about anything in one, and all that’s required is a power outlet. For the best place to buy steaks online, look no further than Beck & Bulow. https://bit.ly/2AYSWQQ
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natvrestaurant · 1 year
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On special till we run out: Blue corn breaded bison fried steak topped with a chile white Gravy served with a white bean puree and a roasted corn medley, finished with sun flower sprouts. #nātv #native #bison #steak #tulsa #brokenarrow #restaurant #food (at Nātv) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpoiQFrjXhy/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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chibliscrossing · 2 years
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Bison Steaks with Whiskey Pan Sauce
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future-newswire · 2 years
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Bison Steaks with Whiskey Pan Sauce
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joelsgreys · 1 year
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a safe haven | two
Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader
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series masterlist | previous chapter l next chapter
summary: While helping set up the barn for the summer party, a friend tells you that Tommy wants to set her up with Joel and feelings of jealousy come into play; you ask your niece Dina for a huge favor; you share a memorable moment with Joel and Ellie on the dance floor.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. commune throws party, Esther makes an appearance, reader gets jealous, mentions of reader’s husband, husband name reveal, hints at their strained marriage, Dina and Ellie interaction, Joel dances, cute moments between Ellie, Joel, and reader. mention of food, consumption of alcohol.
word count: 6.6k
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You glance around the barn, both hands planted firmly on your hips.
It’s late in the afternoon, around three or four if you had to guess since you’d accidentally left your watch in your satchel bag back at the stables.
After spending the morning making your usual rounds and tending to all of the horses that needed some attention, you’d offered to pitch in and help prepare for the night’s upcoming festivities. In one corner of the barn, Seth’s setting up the small bar where he and his sons would be bartending and serving up beverages. Over in another corner, Tommy Miller is helping set up the large, flat top grill and his wife, Maria, stands right beside him, keeping everything organized as she directs several members of the commune and assigns them with a number of tasks that still need to be taken care of before the social event could begin. The food had also started to arrive—quite a few people had kindly volunteered to bring in their homemade dishes to share, all sorts of delicious little pickings from a variety of savory sides to go with the bison steaks that Tommy would be grilling later on in the evening, to an array of sweet, baked desserts meant to be enjoyed afterwards. Maria graciously thanks everyone for their contributions, then points them over towards the long, rectangular shaped table that would serve as something of a buffet.
“Do you think we brought out enough chairs for tonight?” you ask, curiously cocking your head to the side slightly as you silently start to do another count of the mismatched chairs around all of the tables that surrounded the perimeter of the makeshift dance floor. The barn itself was incredibly spacious, and the group who’d been assigned the task of cleaning it up earlier that morning had completely cleared the inside, leaving more than plenty of room. Still, you try to be mindful about making sure the improvised venue isn’t too crowded with tables and chairs. “Or do you think we should bring out a few more?”
Esther scoffs in response. She had been sitting at one of the tables, digging through a woven basket filled to the brim with freshly picked wildflowers for the center pieces she had promised Maria that she’d make. She improvised with a different variety of glasses, plastic cups, and even old, empty food cans, using them as vases for her arrangements. In a tiny effort to spruce them up, Esther had tied a long string of twine into a bow around each one. “Listen, nobody is going to be sitting on their ass tonight, at least not for very long,” she remarks, brushing her long, golden blonde bangs out of her eyes with the back of her hand. She then gestures towards the stage where a couple of guys are bringing out instruments and setting them up. She shimmies her shoulders playfully. “Everyone is going to be way too busy dancing and shaking their tail feathers. Now quit worrying about chairs and help me with these damn things, will you?”
You giggle at her antics and lightly shake your head as you sit down in the wooden chair directly across from her plastic one. You grab an old, empty Campbell’s chicken noodle soup can and peel off the label, carefully checking the inside to make sure it’d been washed out thoroughly before grabbing a handful of flowers from the basket. Esther made a good point. The much anticipated and long awaited first day of summer had officially arrived in Jackson, and the entire town was buzzing with pure excitement over the gathering—an incredibly rare time to unwind and let loose, you knew everybody was more than ready to put on their best and dance the night away.
Sure, throwing a party while living in a world like this one seemed like nothing but a complete waste of time—not to mention, a complete waste of valuable and precious resources. But the good people of Jackson worked themselves down to the bone in efforts to keep the community going, to keep it growing and flourishing now that it was well over forty families strong. Taking just one night out of the year to have some carefree fun did a lot more good than it did harm. It provided a much needed sense of normalcy for everyone, but most importantly, for the children and members of the younger crowd who had been born after the outbreak. It was a small taste of what life used to be like before every single day became nothing but a fight for survival, before the worries of infection, clickers, and murderous raiders became god awful nightmares that had come to life. While Jackson was certainly a safe haven, it wasn’t completely immune to those very real threats, and that scared people. Seeing the way the summer party lifted spirits and boosted morale, Maria had made it an official annual tradition, something to look forward to when the tough got going. Anyone who thought it was a stupid idea was more than welcome to spend the entire night on wall duty instead.
“I wonder if he’s coming tonight.” Esther’s voice breaks into your train of thought after a minute or two.
You glance up at her, confused. “Who are you talking about?”
“Tommy’s older brother,” she replies, placing some daisies into a tall, slightly chipped glass. She bites her lip and says his name shyly. “Joel.”
Without thinking anything much of it, you nod and find yourself assuring her, “He said he would come.”
Esther’s hands fumble, clumsily knocking the glass over in surprise, her flowers spilling out. She manages to catch it just before it falls off the side of the table and grips it in her hand. “Wait a minute, you’ve met Joel?” She gasps lightly, her eyes going wide with curiosity. “You mean, you’ve actually talked to him? Are you fucking serious? When did that happen?” She sputters out each question, one after the other.
You bite back a grin as you recall your encounter with Joel Miller. Even now, a full day later, the feeling of his hand holding yours still lingers. His skin had been rough and calloused against your own, but you’d enjoyed the way it had felt. You shouldn’t have. But there’s no denying how much you had liked it, how much you wished for another chance to hold his hand in yours again.
Still waiting for answers, Esther nudges your leg with her foot under the table. “Well?”
You shrug your shoulders in the most calm, nonchalant manner that you can muster, as if the mere thought of the man isn’t making your insides flutter wildly. “Well, I actually just met him for the first time yesterday afternoon.” Seeing the genuinely stunned expression on Esther’s face, you begin to elaborate a little further as you start arranging a bouquet of flowers into the empty soup can in front of you. “Ellie, the girl he’s here with, well she spends a lot of time with me at the stables. Joel came looking for her after lunch hour and we got to talking for a bit. Before he left, I ended up inviting him and Ellie to come to the party.”
“Wait, what? Ellie spends a lot of time with you? Really?” Esther lets out a scoff of pure and utter disbelief. “I can hardly even believe it! That girl avoids everyone around here like we’re the damn infected. It’s really rude, don’t you think so?” She doesn’t even give you the chance to respond before adding, “She’s got quite the mouth on her from what I’ve heard, too. Cusses up a storm left and right, and she lacks the most basic manners. Poor Joel, I wonder how he ended up getting stuck with someone like her. Whoever her parents were, they clearly failed in disciplining her.”
Frowning, you glare at her across the table, not too fond over the remarks she’d just made about Ellie. “She’s actually a really good kid, Esther,” you all but snap at her, a seething edge to your tone. “You know something, I really wish people wouldn’t be so damn quick to judge before getting to know someone, especially when they have no idea about what they’ve been through. Maria has taught all of us better than that over the last few years.”
Your friend holds up her hands in defense. “Well in all fairness, it’s kind of hard to try and get to know someone who purposely chooses to keep to themselves all the time, you know. She isn’t even giving anyone the chance to get to know her. Except for you now, apparently.” She pauses for a moment, realizing she had just landed herself in a bit of hot water with you. She tries to deviate the conversation slightly into a less sensitive territory and asks, “Are they both coming tonight?”
“Joel said he’d be by with Ellie,” you confirm, still feeling a bit irate. You know Esther doesn’t really mean any harm, but her comments, and the way she’d said them, had definitely struck a nerve. “He might have his work cut out for him trying to talk her into coming with him, but I’m sure that he’ll manage to convince her somehow.”
“Well, at the very least, I sure hope that Joel sticks true to his word and comes out to join us,” she smirks, propping her elbows up on the table as she leans towards you and makes a confession that you’d really wished she hadn’t. “He’s certainly someone that I would like to get to know.”
You manage to keep a straight face, uttering a small, “Oh really?”
“Of course! He’s so damn handsome,” Esther gushes with a twinkle in her sky blue eyes. “Joel is exactly my type of man, you know. Tall. Rugged. Big, strong hands that I bet would feel incredible all over me,” she swoons back into her chair in a dramatic fashion at the thought of it. “And he has this mysteriousness about him that I really like too.” She stops, looking around to make sure nobody was within earshot before leaning over towards you once more. She lowers her voice just in case anyone happens to pass by the table. “Tommy stopped by my place after dinnertime yesterday. He told me he was thinking of setting Joel up with somebody and he asked me if I would be interested.”
Your heart sinks. “He did?”
It’s difficult to ignore the feeling of envy that’s prickling at your nerve endings. It’s incredibly stupid to feel this way, to feel disappointed, especially knowing that you didn’t have the slightest chance in hell with Joel Miller.
Esther’s a single woman up for grabs—and you’re not. 
You’re married.
Still, the thought of Joel with Esther, it bothers you.
After talking to him in the horse stables the day before, you’d found yourself thinking about him a lot more than a married woman should probably be thinking about another man who wasn’t her husband. It was wrong, it was dangerous, and it wasn’t like you at all. But there was just something about him that had caught your attention, long before he’d even spoken a single word to you.
Now that you’d become acquainted with him, you were screwed.
So frustratingly and devastatingly screwed.
“You know what, I’m going to try and talk to him tonight,” Esther concludes, nodding her head as if she’d just convinced herself into doing it. “I might need a strong drink or two in me to give me a little bit of liquid courage, but I think I can do it. After all, Tommy thinks that Joel would really like me. He told me so last night.”
You lightly clear your throat and somehow manage to give her your best, encouraging smile. “I’m sure you’ll make a great first impression on him, Esther.”
“I think so too,” she agrees, giving the flower in her hand a gentle sniff. “By the way, I forgot to ask you—is Luke coming by tonight?”
The mere mention of your husband’s name makes you feel nauseous.
Averting your gaze, you shake your head. “No, he isn’t. He’s been so tired from work lately and he’s really not in the mood for it.” You hope she can’t detect the hint of relief in your voice as you explain that your husband wouldn’t be joining in on the night’s festivities. “He’s going to stay home and catch up on some rest.”
“What a shame,” Esther tsks with a frown. “That man works way too damn hard, you know. He needs a break. You should really try and get him to come to the party. He could use a night out.”
“I’ll try and talk him into it,” you lie straight through your teeth knowing damn well that you would do no such thing. The truth of the matter was, the less you were around Luke, the better. Him being at the party with you would only make it unenjoyable for you—if he came, you wouldn’t be able to be yourself, not unless you wanted to end the night with another explosive argument because you’d been too this or too that. Too chatty, too annoying, too embarrassing, too much.
Knowing Luke, he would expect you to be glued to his side all night long and play the role of his quiet, obedient little wife, and when that didn’t happen, it would cause all hell to break loose once you two were back in the privacy of your home. It was the one place where the image of the perfect, loving marriage that you and Luke had created over the last few years came crumbling down into pieces.
From your periphery, you catch a young girl with long, raven black hair walking by with a burlap sack of green apples in her arms. “Excuse me for a minute.” You stand up from the table and catch up to the teenager, calling out her name. “Dina!”
She stops in her tracks and turns around. As soon as she sees that it was you who’d called her name, she smiles warmly. “Hi there, auntie.”
You wrap an arm around her in a hug. “Are you ready for tonight?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” Dina shrugs, setting down the heavy sack at her feet as she smiles at you once again. Since you’d met her, she had always been a quiet kid, friendly but very shy. As she transitioned from childhood into adolescence, she had slowly but surely started coming out of her shell. “I’m excited for all the good food, that’s for sure. What about you?”
“I’m really looking forward to the live music,” you reply, nodding towards the stage where a young man is tuning up his bass guitar. You peer curiously at her for a moment, hesitating slightly before finally saying, “Listen, I’m glad that I caught you. I was wondering if you could do me a really big favor tonight?”
Eagerly, she nods. “Of course! Anything for you, auntie. What do you need?”
“You know that new girl, right? Ellie?”
Dina’s face falls instantly. “You mean the one who doesn’t talk to anybody?”
“Yeah. Her. I was thinking that maybe we should do something to change that,” you suggest to her. “I’d really appreciate it if you would try and talk to her tonight during the party. Maybe try and get to know her a bit.” You immediately notice the look of disdain that crosses her features. “I honestly think that you two would get along great. She reminds me a lot of you, you know. Minus all the cursing, of course,” you quickly add as an afterthought.
“You’ve talked to her?”
“She’s actually been hanging out with me these last couple of weeks.” You almost laugh at the shocked look on Dina’s face. “I wouldn’t ask you to befriend someone who I know you wouldn’t like. But I mean it, Dina. I really think you’d like Ellie. Something tells me that you two could wind up being good friends.”
“But she yelled at me on her first day here,” Dina recalls, anxiously biting her bottom lip as she shuffles from foot to foot.
“Okay, so maybe you two might have gotten off on the wrong foot,” you state, remembering that winter afternoon a few months ago when Dina had told you about how Ellie had barked at her for staring at her in the mess hall. “But that doesn’t mean that you two can’t start over, you know. Clean slate?” You grin and tuck a lock of her long hair behind her ear, grazing her cheek softly as you did so. “It would really mean a lot to me if you at least tried to talk to her. Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?”
Dina thinks it over for a minute, then sighs in defeat. “Fine. I suppose I can give it a shot.”
You take her face in the palm of your hand, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “That’s my girl.”
Dina quickly pulls away from you and wrinkles her nose. “Auntie?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re going home to shower before the party tonight, right?”
“Yeah, of course I am.” You furrow an eyebrow at her. “Why do you ask?”
“Because.” She wrinkles her nose in disgust. “You smell like a dirty horse.”
You chuckle, giving her another squeeze. 
Oh, Ellie and Dina were going to get along just fine.
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Joel stands in front of the bathroom mirror and frowns at his own reflection as he runs his thick fingers through his graying, dark brown curls for what had to be the thousandth time. Whether it was with his hands or with a comb, he couldn’t tame his locks to save his fucking life. He breathes out a long, irritated sigh and decides to give up on his hair altogether before walking back out into his bedroom in nothing but the dark blue bath towel wrapped around his waist. He pads over towards the foot of his bed where he’d set out his pile of clothes.
He quickly tugs on a pair of boxer briefs and his clean, dark wash blue jeans before reaching for one of the shirts Tommy had dropped off for him earlier that afternoon. His brother had given him a number of options to choose from and Joel had chosen the one he’d felt was the nicest—black with a gray paisley print and long sleeves. He shrugs into the shirt and buttons it up, rolling the sleeves up to the middle of his forearms. He glances over at his pistol on the black oak nightstand beside his bed. Though he’s fairly positive he wouldn’t be needing it, he picks it up and tucks it into the waistband of his jeans, purely out of habit.
After slipping on his cleanest pair of black leather boots, he leaves his bedroom and makes his way down the long hallway towards Ellie’s door. He gives it a light knock and calls, “Ellie, s’time. You all ready to go?”
It takes her a minute, but Ellie finally opens the door.
“Y’didn’t wanna dress up for tonight?” Joel questions, observing how she’s chosen to wear her usual long sleeved shirt, faded blue jeans, and tattered red low top sneakers.
She narrows her eyes at him and huffs, “Fucking really, Joel?”
He holds up his hands, shaking his head. “Right. That was a stupid question,” he realizes out loud. “Alright. C’mon, kiddo. Let’s get goin’ before it gets late.”
“Do we really have to go to this stupid thing?” Ellie whines with a small groan as she follows him down the stairs and out the front door. “It’s the end of the fucking world, man. Who in their right mind throws a fucking party? I mean, what are we even celebrating, anyway? The fact that we’re all fucked for the rest of our lives?”
“Y’know, a little change in attitude would be kinda nice,” Joel remarks as the two of them make their way across the commune, following another group of people who also appear to be heading towards the barn. “This could be real good for you, Ellie. Hell, it could be good for me too. It could end up bein’ a real good time for the both of us.” He doesn’t quite fully believe that, and the truth is, Joel really doesn’t want to go as much as Ellie doesn’t want to go. Still, he hopes that by exposing Ellie to people at the social event, she’ll have an easier time adjusting, and perhaps she could even finally find her niche. Or at least make a friend. Seeing you also happens to be a perk of going. “This could be fun.”
“Since when are you into parties, Joel?”
Joel shrugs his shoulders. “I ain’t into parties.”
“Oh, wait a minute. The only reason that you even want to go to this fucking thing in the first place is because you know who is going to be there. Isn’t that right, Romeo?” Ellie smirks and wiggles her eyebrows at him in a suggestive manner. Noticing the perplexed expression on his face, she scoffs, “Don’t look at me like you don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about. I heard the way you were chatting her up at the stables yesterday.”
“First of all, she was the one who was chattin’ me up, thank you very much,” Joel mutters to her gruffly. “And second, what the hell were you doin’ hangin’ around and listenin’ to us? I thought I’d told you to go get lunch, not stick around and eavesdrop.”
“I didn’t wanna miss anything good,” Ellie replies, peering up at him. “You know that she’s married, don’t you?”
“Ellie,” he says her name warningly and looks around, hoping no one had been overhearing their conversation.
“Just making sure you knew that, Joel.”
“Yeah, I know she’s married,” he says, hoping that the teenager couldn’t pick up on the sour edge to his tone. He glances at Ellie, and wonders what all exactly she knew about you. Though he knows better than to ask her, he stupidly does so anyway. “You meet the guy yet?”
Ellie bites back another wide smirk, taking note of the way Joel had so easily let his curiosity get the better of him. “Nope. I’ve noticed that she doesn’t really talk about him much, either.” She shrugs, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans. “And from what I know, they don’t have any kids together.”
Joel raises an eyebrow at her. “Didn’t ask you if they had kids.”
“No, but I know you were wondering if they did,” Ellie states in a matter of fact tone. “Whether or not she’s happily married, I can find that out for you too, if you want me to. Just call me Sherlock fucking Holmes and I’ll crack the case.”
His mouth falls open slightly at what she’d been implying.
 As if he would actually go after a married woman. 
Joel finally speaks, his voice rigid. “Ellie, that ain’t funny.”
“I wasn’t trying to be funny, believe it or not.” She notices the way his jaw clenches and shrugs her shoulders once again. “What?” she bats her eyes innocently, as if she had seen nothing wrong with the statement she had just made. “Oh come on, Joel. You can’t tell me you’re not the slightest bit curious about her marriage.”
“I ain’t,” he lies straight through his teeth. “It ain’t none of my business, and it sure as hell ain’t none of yours either, so don’t you go pokin’ your nose where it doesn’t belong, you understand me? Don’t need you goin’ around and causin’ trouble.”
“Alright, alright. Sheesh. Don’t get so worked up, man. Can’t be good for your blood pressure.”
“Little shit,” he mutters.
Joel and Ellie make it to their destination just after sunset and by that time, the party had started and was already in full swing. The commune’s barn had been completely transformed, cleaned up and cleared out—a dozen tables or so surrounded a decent sized dance floor and bright lights had been strung from the rafters as well as all along the outside of the structure, bringing the place to life. There’s a live band playing music on a small, makeshift stage and the scent of delicious barbecue wafts through the air, causing Ellie’s stomach to grumble.
Joel glances around, hoping it isn’t obvious to the kid as to who he’s looking for, but she’s far too busy processing everything to even notice.
“Whoa. This is so weird,” Ellie mumbles under her breath as she takes in her surroundings. Though she had seemed to be thoroughly confused by it all, he detects the glimmer of curious fascination in her wide brown eyes.
“Joel! Ellie!”
Grinning, you wave your hand as you weave your way through the crowd towards them.
Joel’s throat bobs and goes sandpaper dry at the sight of you. It feels like someone had just driven their fist into his gut and knocked all the wind out of his lungs.
The pale yellow frock you’re donning is strapless with a subtle sweetheart neckline, short with a flowing skirt that falls to the middle of your thighs. You’ve dressed it down, pairing it with tan brown cowboy boots that look like they’ve seen better days, and a cropped denim vest. Your hair is loose around your shoulders and there’s a delicate white daisy tucked behind your ear. Simple, but it’s enough to take his breath away. “Hey!” you greet them, excitedly. “You guys made it!”
“Whoa, nice dress, princess,” Ellie nudges you, offering a playful grin in return. She’d been so used to seeing you in your flannel and jeans at the stables—though she’s teasing, there’s a twinkle of admiration in her eyes as she looks at you. It’s a world of a difference to see you when you’re not dirty, sweaty, and wearing boots covered in horse shit.
You nudge her right back and then turn to Joel. “You look very nice,” you compliment, subtly admiring the way that his shirt fits the broad planes of his chest and his shoulders.
“He showered for once. Doesn’t he look pretty?” Ellie jeers, causing him to roughly smack her shoulder. She rubs the spot where he’d hit her, making a face at him. “Relax man, it was a fucking joke. Jesus.”
Ignoring her, Joel shifts his attention back to you. “You look real nice too.”
“Thank you, Joel.” There’s a hint of shyness in your smile.
He couldn’t be too sure if it was his mind playing tricks on him, but he could have sworn he’d just seen you give his form another once over.
“I’m really glad you two decided to join us.” Gesturing around with your hands, you ask, “What do you guys think?”
“It’s some shindig, that’s for sure,” Joel remarks, taking another glimpse around. He aches to take another look at you, let his eyes glaze over every last inch of you, but he knows better, especially with his loud mouth kid standing right there in the middle.
“It’s like I told you yesterday, Joel. People still know how to get down and party,” you wink at him and his heart skips a nervous beat. “Come with me, I’ll get you guys a couple of drinks.”
“Drinks?” Ellie’s face is hopeful. “What kind of drinks?”
“Nonalcoholic for you, missy.” You flick her shoulder, causing Joel to chuckle. “The drinking age in Jackson is eighteen, although some kids can have a drink or two at sixteen on special occasions as long as their parents are around to supervise them.”
“Well, I’m fifteen. That’s close enough to sixteen. And I’ve got my supervisor right here.” She jabs her thumb over her shoulder at Joel. “I can have a real drink tonight, right Joel?”
He snorted. “Not a fuckin’ chance in hell, kiddo.”
She scowls. “Fucking party pooper.”
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You lead them over to one of several coolers that are strategically placed around the barn and pull out a bottle of fresh squeezed lemonade for Ellie and a bottle of beer for Joel. Twisting off the cap, he takes his first sip of the homemade brew and makes a face, coughing and sputtering at the taste. “Jesus Christ, that’s fuckin’ awful.”
“Sorry, I should have warned you that Seth is still trying to perfect his beer recipe,” you giggle into the palm of your hand. “His whiskey is a whole lot better, but it’s really strong. I wanted to start you off light.”
In the distance, you see Esther watching Joel with hungry eyes from across the barn. She’s turning heads in the skintight, cherry red dress she’s wearing underneath her denim jacket—the material hugs every single curve tightly, accentuating her perfect figure. She’s nursing a glass of something or other, probably still working up the courage to introduce herself to Joel. You’d hoped that by the time she was finally ready to make her move, you’d find it in yourself to accept it with grace.
Or be somewhat drunk enough not to care.
The band on stage finishes up their rendition of Life is a Highway and everyone in the barn breaks into whistling cheers and thunderous applause.
Impressed with their talent, even Ellie finds herself clapping her free hand against her thigh with genuine enthusiasm.
The band moves onto their next song and the familiar tune of one of your favorite songs, Dancing in The Moonlight, instantly takes your mind off of Esther and lifts your spirits.
“Oh, I love this song!” you exclaim. “Ellie, dance with me!”
“Wait, what in the fuck—” Ellie gasps as you grab her hand and started tugging her along behind you. She immediately glances at Joel for help. He simply chuckles as he plucks her lemonade from her hand and lets you drag her a few feet away to a spot on the dance floor.
Smiling, you spin her around a couple of times and then take both her hands in yours as you start leading her in the dance. It takes Ellie a minute or two, but she eventually stops resisting and gives in, moving along with you.
“Yeah, there you go!” you beam, encouraging her. “That’s it!”
“Oh, I’m so gonna fucking kill you for this!” Ellie threatens, however, her eyes are sparkling and she’s laughing. Her fingers squeeze yours. “Hey, this song’s pretty fucking cool! I like it!”
Taking a swig of his beer, Joel watches as you and Ellie dance together.
He feels a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth as his eyes drink in the sight of his girl smiling brightly—she looks happy, so ridiculously happy, and he wishes there was a way for him to bottle up this memory just like a scent, one that never faded or grew stale. He would give just about anything to have it stashed away, available for him to open up whenever he wanted so he could relive the moment all over again, for as many times as he needed.
“Everybody here is out of sight, they don’t bark and they don’t bite,” you sing the lyrics to her as you twirl her around once more. “They keep things loose, they keep ‘em tight, everybody was dancing in the moonlight—”
“This is so fucking weird,” Ellie laughs again, mustering the courage to finally take a turn and spin you around. She grasps your hand tightly in hers and her opposite hand flies to your waist. She eventually finds the constant beat to the song and connects rhythmically with you, her moves falling in sync with yours, though she would still take a clumsy step here and there.
As the band moves into the next verse of the song, your gaze meets Joel’s from the dance floor and you lean forward, whispering something to Ellie.
She eagerly nods her head, shouting, “Fuck yeah! Do it!”
Ellie drops her hands away from you and you leave her alone on the dance floor for a moment. Rushing up to Joel, you take his bottle of beer and set it down on the table beside him before reaching for his hand.
The contented smile on his face vanishes. “Darlin’ what are you—?”
“Come on! Come and dance with us!” you chirp, dragging him over towards where Ellie’s waiting, an amused smirk plastered onto her face as soon as she sees the flabbergasted look on his.
“I—I don’t dance.” Joel quickly tries to tell you. He makes an attempt to stop you from pulling him any further, but you’re a lot fucking stronger than you look and he doesn’t stand a chance. “I can’t dance!”
“Don’t be silly!” You dismiss him over your shoulder, shaking your head. “Everybody can dance!”
“Come on, Joel!” Ellie shouts, taking his other hand in hers. “Let’s see you shake what you got!”
In his peripheral vision, Joel notices a few people gawking, watching in bewilderment as the two standoffish newcomers dance with you, the town’s resident sweetheart.
“Joel, relax,” you call out over the music, shaking his hand. “Don’t be so uptight! Loosen up a little!”
He tries his hardest to do just that. Though he’s too embarrassed to fully comply with your request, at some point, he does find himself moving a little less like the tinman. 
The three of you sway to the upbeat music together in your own little corner of the dance floor.
Holding your hand in one of his and Ellie’s in the other, Joel finally decides to let go and allows himself to enjoy the moment, regardless of how terrible of a dancer he is. He moves with the two of you along to the music, a deep belly laugh escaping him as Ellie tries to spin him around—their significant height difference makes it impossible, and all she does is mess up his hair as her arm brushes right over his head.
You try spinning him too, but you’re not all that much taller than Ellie. Joel bends his knees slightly and ignores their protest long enough for you to give him a twirl.
When the song ends, the three of you move off of the dance floor and back over towards the table where their drinks are waiting for them.
“Gotta give you credit. You’ve got some moves, old man,” Ellie states, taking a sip of her lemonade. Beads of sweat drip down the side of her face and she wipes them away with the sleeve of her shirt. “Little on the stiff side, but not bad for being fifty six with creaking knees.”
You muffle your snort of laughter with your hand.
Joel glowers, but truth be told, he can’t even be mad at her for the jab. He’d finally caught a glimpse of Ellie being truly, genuinely happy, the way she deserves to be—and it was all thanks to you. 
“Hello!”
Glancing over your shoulder, you smile as Dina comes up to the three of you. She seems nervous—you can tell by the way that she’s already pulling at her sunflower printed dress.
“Hey, sweetheart.” You kiss her cheek and then introduce her. “Joel, Ellie, this is my niece, Dina. Dina, this is Joel and Ellie.”
Ellie flushes a deep shade of red as she recognizes her from her first day in Jackson. 
“What about her manners?” She remembered snapping when she’d noticed the dark haired girl hiding behind a wooden pillar in the mess hall, staring at Ellie as if she were some kind of freakshow.
“Ellie,” Joel mutters her name, jabbing his elbow into her shoulder. “Say hello.”
“Oh—um, hey,” she greets her awkwardly with a wave of her hand.
“Would you like to go grab something to eat with me?” Dina offers shyly as she gestures over towards the grill.
Ellie nervously glances up at Joel, as if she were silently asking him for guidance on what to do.
“Go on,” he encourages her. “Just stay out of trouble, alright?”
She hesitates, but then turns back to Dina and nods her head. “Okay.”
Reluctantly, she follows Dina over to the other side of the barn. The girls each grab a plate, get in line, and make their way up to Tommy, who not only seems pleasantly surprised to see Ellie, but to see her with someone other than his brother.
“Niece, huh?” Joel questions, taking another sip of his beer. 
You’re not surprised.
Dina doesn’t look all that much like you, he’s probably thinking.
“Technically, she is. My husband is her uncle,” you explain, briefly. “After her parents passed away, he and his other niece, her older sister, Talia, they both raised Dina together. We were all living together under one roof until Maria decided Talia was old enough to be assigned a place of her own a couple of years ago.”
“Speakin’ of your husband.” Joel anxiously shoves his free hand into his pocket. He wasn’t sure how he’s only just now noticing the thin, gold wedding band around your ring finger. Seeing it causes an odd feeling to begin boiling in the pits of his stomach—the ring only confirms what he wished wasn’t true. “I haven’t had the chance to meet him yet. He, uh—he around here somewhere?”
“No, he isn’t. He decided to stay home tonight. Luke isn’t a big fan of these kind of things—besides, he’s always tired from working.”
Joel observes the way you uncomfortably shuffle from foot to foot and he wonders if maybe it’s because you’re missing him. The thought only makes the foreign feeling in his stomach intensify. “He’s the doctor around here, ain’t he?”
You nod. “He is.”
Before you have the chance to change the subject, you catch a glimpse of Esther making her way over towards you and Joel.
Your heart sinks deeply in your chest, similarly to the way it had earlier when she’d told you about Tommy wanting to set them up together. Again, you’re forced to remind yourself that you don’t have any right to feel this way.
She slinks up to the both of you—it’s clear she’s already tossed a number of drinks back and had quite the buzz going on. “Hi there,” she practically purrs at Joel. She glances at you, as if she’s waiting for you to introduce them to one another. Of course she would assume that you’d be her wingwoman. Hell, what reason would she have not to think that you would be willing to lend a hand and help set her up with him?
She’s not the one with a husband waiting at home. 
“Joel, this is my friend, Esther,” you finally speak, hoping your voice doesn’t sound as shaky to either of them as it does to you. “Esther, this is Joel Miller. He’s Tommy’s older brother.”
“Nice to meet you.” Joel takes her hand, giving it a brief shake before quickly dropping it.
“Now, I know you didn’t give him Seth’s shitty ass beer to drink. We all know his whiskey is way, way better,” Esther comments, shaking her head as she offers him her best, flirty smile. “Come with me, cowboy. Let’s go and get you a real drink over at the bar.”
“Oh no, that’s alright. M’perfectly fine—” Before Joel can finish protesting, Esther takes his bottle, hands it over to you, and then grabs his hand, dragging him off towards the bar.
Frowning, he looks over his shoulder at you and you have no choice but to make an encouraging gesture with your hand as if to tell him to go and have a good time.
Once Joel and Esther are out of your sight, you lift the bottle to your lips, draining every last drop of his beer in one swallow. You pivot on the heel of your boot and start towards a group of friendly, familiar faces in hopes that some mindless chatter would be enough to get your mind off of things and tame the jealousy that’s clawing furiously at your insides.
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thegnomelord · 4 months
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Sorry for blowing up your inbox, but you've really got my creative juices flowing. So I want to expand on 2 ideas.
No. 1
Shrike Harpy Reader w/ oblivious Graves (bc from my knowledge, he's usually a vampire or regular guy) or Ghost (bc he was human before)
In which Shrike reader is getting progressively more obvious with their advances bc Ghost/Graves don't understand. The particular idea I had was where they think it's some kind of threat or prank. So reader is getting more obvious, and they think that the threat/prank is getting more intense.
That would be hilarious! Obviously, they will either find out or be told about the advances eventually. But the idea that you are courting them and they miss the mark entirely is so funny to me. Especially if their teammates laugh and refuse to tell them the obvious truth.
No. 2
Going off of the spider's sexual dimorphism + a different version of monster au. Pairing spider hybrid reader w/ octopus (cthulhu?) König (if you do reqs for him), where spider reader looks at him and is like:
So you're telling me there's an eight-legged hybrid, approximately five times my size, that could snap my spine like a toothpick, just beyond enemy lines.... Do you need someone to volunteer for a solo recon mission any time soon?
Oh no! My recon mission turned into a hostage situation, how unfortunate. But while I'm here, I should interrogate him... yeah, interrogating is exactly what I'll be doing with this giant tied up man rn....
👑 anon
No, no, anon I'm always so happy reading all the stuff you guys send me! I know next to nothing about Konig except the stuff I've read about him that turns him into a really perverted disgusting degenerate and while I'm not comfortable writing that, I hope one of my mutes picks it up bc it is super cool! I got a dancing with Ghost ask I really wanna do so Graves it is lol
CW:SWF-ish turns suggestive at the end, Graves being oblivious
Graves hates being the butt of the joke.
For the last couple of months he's been getting 'gifts' in the form of chunks of meat stabbed through various knives. It had started a knife being stabbed through burgers and steaks(typical American food), which he couldn't eat, but slowly progressed to rarer and rarer pieces of meat until he wound up finding just raw and bloody chunks of meat; a leg of some large animal turned into a pincushion, a still beating heart stabbed through with a knife, livers shish kebabed on a bayoneted blade. . .
And he'd find them everywhere, in the communal fridge, in his office, in his room. And while he didn't mind the free meal, he was a little unnerved. He knew it was you doing it because he had screened the minds of all his shadow's, but he didn't know why you were doing it.
He can see the way his shadows smirk at you when he finds another bloody organ skewered on your favorited knife in the fridge, your feathers puffing up and a not so quiet chirp escaping your lips when he sneaks the meat away to feast on.
You also become more touchy with him when you notice him accepting your gifts, though he has no idea of it. He trusts you, which is why you're allowed to sneak up on him, your wings spreading out to wrap around him like a cloak as you chirp a "Hello commander."
It makes him jump out of his skin, and though he chastises you about it, it's never as harsh as he could make it, his shadows giving him a knowing look that he can't reciprocate.
That's the worst part. None of his shadows will tell him anything.
He doesn't know much about your species of harpy except for the generalized knowledge of extreme speed and craftiness, so he can't figure out if this is some kind of joke, or threat, or you just seeing him as part of the flock? Or maybe it means nothing? He's especially confused when you grow bolder and one day he walks into his office to see a Bison leg sitting on his desk, once again skewered. Where did you even get the bloody bison? Hell knows but certainly not him.
Eventually a shadow grows annoyed by your constant bloody gifts in the fridge and with a very annoyed huff drops a harpy encyclopedia on his desk.
He'll need to get them a gift basket after this; he spends the next few hours just reading about all kinds of harpies, ears progressively getting hotter as the book delves deep into every aspect of the harpies, each sub-race's specific courting and matting habit and making him feel like he's reading porn.
Then he finds a chapter about your type of harpy, eyes growing wide like dinnerplates as he reads about your quirks. He doesn't know whether to go search for a cross or tissues. He reads more and more, turning pages upon pages, his eyes scorching every anatomical picture into his brain and making him think of what you're packing, his pants growing tight as the minutes tick down.
Just his luck that you'd decided the moment when his face is the hottest to walk into his office without knocking, another skewered offering on a plate in your hands.
"Christ!" He yelps, slamming the book shut and looking at you like you're his parent and caught him looking at a playboy magazine.
You puff up in surprise, your wings spreading out a bit before flattening back to your back, a soothing chirp leaving your lips. It used to mean nothing to him, now he knows what it means, his cock getting a bit harder in his pants.
"You alright commander?" You ask, walking closer, the talons of your feet clicking against the ground.
"Yes, yep, perfectly fine." He grunts, desperately hoping his vampiric state will suppress the heat in his face, but to no avail. "You-" His eyes settle on the plate in your hands, his body practically conditioned to salivate when he sees a familiar knife sticking out of the food.
"I?" You ask, then you note the book on his desk, your head tilting in confusion. "Graves?"
He swallows, eyes darting from the food to you, and he doesn't know which one he's starved for more. "You've been wooing me like a dolly huh?" He asks.
"Yeah." You're unsure of what else to say, in your head, had he not wanted your advances he would have never taken your offerings. Then you realize. "Don't tell me you just noticed." You deadpan.
Graves gives that awkward chuckle you've grown to love, and you decide you need to be bolder. You place the plate on his desk and lean over it, a coo rumbling in your chest— deeper, rougher, seductive.
"How about I show you what I want?"
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