#big dope p | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rafesaddiction · 6 months

Text

The tight end (or: Football Lessons) – Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: You need to study for your exams and Rafe wants to watch the football game with his friends. Studying is boring and you need a little help from the boys. Rafe is not pleased.

Warnings: mdni! – heavy smut, spanking, rough sex, p in v, semi-public sex (they can hear you), fingering (they sure can see that), possessiveness, kinda size kink cause rafe is big, bratty!reader, grumpy!rafe, dom!rafe, mean!rafe, amused!barry, curious!kelce, i-can't-with-this!topper

Word count: 1.5k

Tagging @dream-pink , @dope-trope-105 since this is most definitely Rafe Cameron smut. Enjoy!

a/n This is none of the stuff I said I was working on, just something short to indulge myself. Something light and fun. It kinda takes place in the same “universe” as Hole Practice, but it's not part 2. Comments, reblogs and likes are more than welcome. They keep me from going insane. Go Panthers!

“Gonna get myself another beer,” Rafe groaned as he lifted himself of the la-z-boy.

“Might need something stronger to suffer through this shit show.”

He looked at Barry who had made the comment and was pointing at the tv screen with his beer bottle.

On the screen the Panthers were literally fucked up the ass. And they deserved it as they delivered their worst performance ever. This game really sucked. Rafe hadn't bet any money, but he took it kinda personal when his favorite team performed this shitty. It totally ruined his mood. To be fair, it didn’t take much to ruin Rafe's mood, but this was like in the top 20 of mood-ruining events. And this was supposed to be a nice relaxing evening, watching the game with his friends. Yeah, Barry was now officially one of his friends and none of Rafe's kook friends ever doubted his status – if they had, that would totally have ruined Rafe's mood.

“While you're at it, pretty boy, fetch me another one too,” Barry shook his half-empty bottle and grinned at Rafe, who had stopped on his way to leave the living room.

“Anything else I can do for you?” Rafe said in a sarcastic tone, frowning.

“You have some of these tiny snack bites? Diced cheese with a toothpick?”

Rafe shot Barry a deathly glare, who just chuckled.

“Uhm, I'd like another beer, please,” Topper's voice came from the left and Rafe's head spun around, making the blond shrink into the couch and mumble some sort of apology. Next to him, Kelce snickered.

Frowning, clenching his jaws, Rafe went to the kitchen – without killing one of his friends, yet.

Still frowning, Rafe rummaged through the fridge to get four bottles of beer. There were actually some cheese bits, which he left there, but he took a bag of chips out of the pantry, and returned to the living room.

And stopped in the doorway, almost dropping the beer at the sight of you sitting on the armrest of Barry's la-z-boy. You had your back to Rafe and were obviously engaged in some very intense conversation with Barry. You had drawn up your legs and were kinda kneeling sideways on the armrest. You wore one of Rafe's t-shirts, too big for you, but barely covering your ass. Your legs were naked – apart from the cat paw socks you wore.

“What are you doing here?”

You were not supposed to be here. You were supposed to be upstairs, studying for your upcoming exam. You were definitely not supposed to be cuddling up to Barry.

Rafe was fuming as you craned your head back to him and gazed at him with innocent eyes.

When you saw him, a sweet smile appeared on your face.

“Hi, Rafey.” Rafe flinched at the hideous nickname, but you continued speaking. “I was looking for you. I needed some help with opening a water bottle and Barry was so nice to help me.”

Barry sat up, looking at Rafe, winking at him and showing said water bottle.

“Always a pleasure to help a damsel in distress,” he said, his gold tooth showing as he grinned at Rafe whose face had turned red by now, his features tensed up, his nostrils flaring.

“And now he’s telling me all about the tight end.”

You smiled.

Barry grinned.

Kelce snickered.

Topper choked.

Rafe growled.

“Upstairs. Now.”

“But –” you turned towards Rafe, your feet dangling from the armrest, you looked up at him, pouting.

“Now!” Rafe barked and you flinched.

Having put the bottles and chips on the coffee table, Rafe walked up to you, grabbed you, threw you over his shoulder and carried you with him, despite your squealing protests.

Rafe sat you down on the kitchen island. You looked at him, with big eyes and sulky lips. His hands rested on either side of you.

“The fuck were you doing? I specifically told you not to come downstairs!”

He glared at you through narrowed eyes, tilting his head to the side.

You lowered your gaze, your fingers playing with the hem of the shirt you were wearing.

“I was bored,” you admitted in a soft voice. Then you looked up, just with your eyes, meeting his.

“Please don't be mad at me,” you nibbled on your bottom lip, effectively directing his gaze. Then your lips parted, you breathed out and he saw the corners of your mouth twitch. “Rafey…”

He let out an angry growl, grabbed you, flipped you around and you squealed as your chest was pressed down on the hard surface of the kitchen island. Rafe shoved up your t-shirt and his hand hit your butt, only covered by your pink lace panties.

“Don't. Ever. Call. Me. That. Again!” Rafe growled between gritted teeth and each word was accompanied by a slap on your ass.

You cried out, then tried to muffle your cries and whimpers by covering your mouth with both your hands, as Rafe gave your ass a very thorough spanking. He didn't care that your whining and crying could surely be heard in the living room as he hadn't bothered to close any of the doors.

One hand holding you down as you tried to wriggle your way out, while his other hand mercilessly slapped your ass and thighs, leaving marks in the form of his hand print.

His palm started burning and your skin must have felt as if in flames by now.

He was panting heavily behind you, his eyes on your ass as he pulled down your panties. He noticed the soaking wet stain and his hard cock twitched inside his pants.

You were a whimpering mess, your body trembling and only focused on the burning sensation his hand had caused, or you would have noticed what he was up to and you would surely have complained that you were still too sore from when Rafe had fucked you under the shower this morning.

You cried out as he pushed his hard cock into your tight pussy. He growled as he felt your walls clamping around him. He gave your already sore ass another slap, then started thrusting into you in a relentless rhythm, deep and hard, punishing you by using your body to satisfy his own needs. Your cries turned into whimpering sounds as he gave you what your body so desperately craved for.

Whatever you tried to say came out as a whining noise. His name was the only intelligible word you were able to utter.

“Rafe,” you cried.

“Rafe,” you moaned.

“Rafe,” you begged.

He grabbed the back of your neck, pulled you up, made you turn your head and his lips met yours in a fervent kiss, devouring and bruising. He felt you clench so hard around him and moaning into his mouth as you came around him. Pushing your trembling chest flush against the surface, he fucked you through that orgasm, savoring your heated body's uncontrolled convulsing, your shameless moaning and enjoying knowing that he did this to you, that he was the only one who made you feel this way.

Rafe came with a groan, his cock buried up to the hilt inside your soaking pussy, filling you with his hot cum. He felt how you tensed up at the sensation and your walls clenched, milking him.

When he pulled out, you whimpered.

“Shhh…” He caressed your back as he cleaned you with a kitchen towel and put your panties back on.

Rafe cradled you into his arms and carried you back to the living room.

Barry chuckled, but didn't say a word as Rafe shot him a menacing glance.

Rafe reclined in his chair and you cuddled up to him, burying your face at his heaving chest. You were still trembling, your legs drawn up to your own chest and you were clinging to Rafe, when he caressed your back with one hand, the other hand holding a beer bottle as he focused on the screen again where the Panthers had somehow managed to turn the game around.

Rafe's hand trailed along your thigh and you flinched. You pressed your mouth against his chest and he heard you whimper as his fingers brushed over the sore skin. And not only he could hear your little whining sounds has he grabbed your ass.

Barry looked at you from the corner of his eyes and then grinned at Rafe, slightly shaking his head, lifting his bottle to drink.

Kelce licked his lips as his eyes moved over your body.

Topper stared at the tv screen, clutching his bottle so hard, his knuckles turned white.

Rafe’s hand shoved your shirt up, rubbed over your bruised cheek. His fingertips pushed your panties to the side and slid between your folds, eliciting a sweet mewling sound from your lips.

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #rafe fanfiction #rafe cameron x reader #drew starkey #outer banks #obx #smut fic #rafe cameron imagine #rafe fic #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe x you #rafe cameron drabble #obx fic #outerbanks #outer banks smut #barry obx #topper thornton #kelce obx

2K notes · View notes

42frankee · 2 years

Audio

Premiere: Big Dope P ‘Southside Of Chicago’ by djmag https://ift.tt/1VYuxM9

#SoundCloud #Premiere: Big Dope P ‘Southside Of Chicago’ djmag

0 notes

birchbow · 1 year

Text

CLOWN CHURCH THE COLLECTION

For the me and my readers both; my reference document for Clown Church nonsense. Compiled character ref, clown scriptures, fleet ships, saints, schoolfeeder names and specialties, etc. Subject to change and additions.

EDIT: nice lmao

Griefing Specializations

Subjugglator – frontline barbarian/tank, high damage low defense. Not much concerned with stealth, not worried about taking hits. Ex: Feeder Rissan, Sungazer, Cisine, Khalse, Travye.

Laughsassin – stealth and assassination, not good at taking hits but very good at infiltration. Quieter/subtler weapons, or the strength and size to make one hit count. Mime-inspired paint. Ex: Rishet, Kurloz, Untoxxic, Hurrel

Contorturenist – field interrogation experts, armored, usually with long-distance weapons. Clean-up crew for missions where information will need to be extracted during the process of the mission. Ex: Ianche and Verato Uderak, Yettah

Acrobatterer – frontline opportunist, experts in speed and evasion. Many lighter, faster hits instead of one heavy one. Better at taking prisoners. Friendly rivalry with the subjugglators, because they’ll often use a noisy, head-on assault as a distraction to opportunistically whack their target on the head—sound tactics or cowardly cull-stealing depending on who you ask. Ex: Ravell and Raywar Olemma. If asked, some of the younger clowns would probably group Karkat here.

Gymnabsolutionist – On missions, a form of field chaplain, praying for fallen faithful to make sure the messiahs took note of their sick-ass sacrifice. On-fleet, spiritual council and advisors. The oldest is expected to lay to rest the soul of the previous Grand Highblood and help the new one through their prayers/vows, although this role hasn’t come into play in a very, very long time.

Joker – Not technically a position you can train for, but colloquially a highblood who multi-classes or whose style and focus doesn’t fit neatly into a category. Gamzee is technically a subjugglator (very big, doesn’t give a shit if he gets hit) but can rapidly flip to acrobatterer tactics. Travye's bonekind uses subjugglator style, but his bookkind doesn't fall into a category.

Saints And Martyrs

Saint Mortor the Defender — Burned alive to protect other purplebloods from lowbloods; like his giant salamander lusus, he proved incredibly hard to burn, and his execution pyre burned for a night and a day. Saint of aspiring martyrs.

Saint Trasti — Prayed to the messiahs for vengeance as she was cut apart by lowbloods; when they burned her corpse, the messiahs listened and brought up a plague from her ashes. Prayers to bring a plague on your enemies or for sick/poisoned faithful

Saint Ekorot — Patron saint of pupation and cocoons, and especially the faithful who die during pupation. One of the oldest saints, said to have hatched with the lower half of her body deformed/largely missing and survived a perigee before being found by the church, surrounded by dead lowbloods and wild animals she'd killed. She was sanctified on the spot because lo, it was fucking dope as hell.

Her bladekind became the Knife of Messiahs' Mercy, the weapon the Grand Highblood uses for ceremonial culling of the faithful (By the new Grand Highblood to finish off their predecessor after the fight is won, when church kin pupate too malformed to live or are so deeply wounded in battle they won't survive, etc).

Saint Jakill — Fought an entire army despite being ripped to increasingly brutal pieces. Refused to go down, until his skull was finally split with his own hatchet. Patron saint of berserkers, death-rages and suicide missions.

Schoolfeeders Of The Flagship Dark Carnival

Halore Travye — The Stædfast, advanced scripture and exegesis.

Separates his letters with an extra space, capitalizes nouns and the letter I. Square bracket smiles/frowns.

"sacredDidaction: T h e q u I c k b r o w n F o x j u m p e d o v e r t h e l a z y D o g . : o ["

Veneno Krelle — The Untoxxic, advanced mediculling, poisons/antidotes.

Doubles Xs and inserts them in place of similar sounds. X-eyed smiles/frowns. When speaking they tend to have difficulty finding and forming words due to a long, long career being exposed to all sorts of neurotoxins and poisons.

"abstersiveDetoxifier: If you axx me, the foxx has better things to be doing. X...X" (=uX, XnX XsX)

Ianche Uderak — The Inquirer, advanced information management/propaganda.

Hisses on S, ends all sentences as questions except the occasional Shocking Headline. Snake-tongued faces.

"mortalRigor: Sssso why wasss the fox with the dog at all? >:oY Ssscandal!! Quick Brown Fox Hass Torrid Pitch Affair With Ssslothful Barkbeasst?"

Arelux Stelos — The Sungazer, schoolfeeder of galactic navigation, omens and starcraft.

Starts and ends with ~* and *~, replaces I and O with 1 and 0. Tends to trail out words and emphasize with capitals and multiple asterisks/punctuation when worked up, which is often. Smiles/ frowns have starry eyes.

"grandlyCosmic: ~*000h mess1ahs you w1ll **never** bel1eve what the STARS told me today about the fox's dest1ny!!!!*~ *u*

Belico Rissan — Warmaker, Combat/griefing, avid collector of various strife specibi

Largely normal clown syntax but will frequently phrase things with all-caps over-the-top violent language. Doesn't bother to capitalize or use periods but an avid user of exclamation points.

"sanguineEclectica: the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy barkbeast and landed in THE PIT OF A SPIKED AND BLOOD-PUTRID CULL-TRAP as a lesson to complacent wrigglers everywhere! :o)"

Karkat Vantas — Schoolfeeder of quadrantcraft, originally as a joke, but unfortunately for all the elder members of the church the new baby clowns don't know that and he's increasingly accepted and legitimized with every class he teaches.

Minera Tresor — Scriptural basics (deceased)

The Holy Holidays

TURNING NIGHT/DAY

The troll equivalent on New Years Night/Day; for most of the population it's a raucous all-caste night of celebrating that they've made it another sweep without dying. For the church it's their most sober holiday, a reminder that another sweep came and went without the promised Vast Honk and Dark Carnival. Faces are painted white (funeral paint) during the night, and in the morning everyone takes off their paint entirely until the new sweep is rung in at noon.

In the meantime, it's expected everyone will spend the night/day fasting from food and drinks, and tempting themselves with things they want or enjoy, whether that's making your favorite food and not eating it, or hooking up with a quadrant and then breaking off before either of you are satisfied.

Then at noon everybody goes buckwild and indulges until they're sick.

ALL COLORS WEEK

A very rowdy church-wide holiday. Work forbidden, only fun and capricious impulse. Copious colored clothes and decorations, painting, and powder dye are rampant. It’s traditional to stash little brightly-colored objects (and vials of blood) throughout the rest of the sweep and then hang them out a day at a time through the week so that the decorations get slowly more colorful and vivid. They lump the seadwellers in with the rustbloods and the last colors to get hung up on the last day are the colors of the church.

There’s also a different major saint for each day, which some people remember to pray to and some people don’t. There’s a lot less quiet internal prayer at this point too--if you have something for a saint or messiah to hear, you probably shout it.

Also; massive games of--essentially--capture the flag. Teams are assigned according to age group, with the youngest/most numerous cohort starting on the first day. They’re split in half into a team with a seadweller-color flag and rustblood-color flag, which they play for for the first day. After that the next age-group comes in with their color, and all three teams try to collect the flags, and onward and upward until the schoolfeeders and generals come in to play, each with an incredibly high-point-value purple flag. You have to challenge them to a duel to win one, in whatever area they teach/specialize in. It’s pretty widely assumed that you won’t actually beat them, they just respect your attempt enough to hand it over, but if you do everybody is like !!!!!!! WOW HOLY SHIT DUDE and you’re a hero to the rest of your team. The points system is pretty unofficial but the more flags you have, and the higher the blood color of those flags, the more you “score”. Winner gets preferential treatment for the next two weeks.

Ships Of The Holy Fleet

Names of ships are subject to change when a new captain takes over, although they aren’t always changed—when Kurloz joined the fleet, the flagship was the Painted Disciple, and Kurloz changed the name to the Dark Carnival after he successfully challenged the previous Grand Highblood.

The Blessed is intensely focused on prayer and meditation and prophesy—much less in the way of combat training etc. You can get religious training anywhere on the fleet, esp. the flagship, but if you want to basically focus your life on spirituality the Blessed is full of like-minded trolls.

The Orisoner is Just Straight Up Vibing to an extent that many trolls find unnerving, but the crew of the Blessed are absolutely ride or die with her/him/them/etc. His powers are 100% min-maxed into sucking hate/rage/fear out of people, and the resulting good vibes and soft euphoria are a powerful (and borderline addictive) combination. Secretly terrifying, because nobody wins fights against her--because very few people can even bring themselves to lift a hand against them in the first place.

irenicDevotion: no caps, sooo many smilies :o) and just like... emphasis extensions my duuude :oD copafuckincetic

The Sinner is a party boat, which is considered an act of worship in and of itself. People just get rowdy and wild and live it up at all times. If there was air in space, you would be able to hear it as you approached to board—when it’s landed, you can hear it, and it’s super eerie. Lots of trolls whooping and honking and shouting in a big metal box.

The Libation's powers are addictive in a different way; he's physically intoxicating to be around. If he focuses, he can easily have most people, especially people who aren't used to being drunk/high, blacked out and pretty much incapacitated.

ecstaticEroticism: 8RO h'es. straiht up nightdrinking rn. look hers his 8onkinggourd. all teh 8s their 8s its little drinking gurds. motherfuckr this paryts LIT roflmao

The Joker is a pretty standard barrack ship, although it has the notable reputation that under the current captain if you’re cheeky enough to do something and do it well, you should be allowed to get away with it even if it’s against the rules. It takes the majority of mediocre-to-fair trainees every generation, and compared to the Dark Carnival, a much higher percentage of its graduates go on to live off-fleet on shuttles or colonies.

Sister Waspclaw is a walking test of everyone who meets her's ability to read a passive level of threat and calculate accordingly. Very talkative, encouraging and pleasant, with an extremely dangerous and unhinged core. Her whole philosophy is that you can get far in life by figuring out what the most daring trick you could pull and get away with is--but it's very important you don't try to take even an inch with her. She's tiny, but her claws are incredibly venomous and very few trolls in the entire church fleet can match her for speed.

toxicAudacity: wazpclaw'z zo excited to talk zhe can't even bother with the zentencez and ztuff like that and it all flowz together but if you pizz her off you're DEAD MEAT and you can tell if you've pizzed her off becauze when zhe's angry zzzzzhe zzZZTARTZ GETTING A LITTLE UNHINGED AZZZZZHOLE!!! >:o[

Elixir and Stardust are commercial centers; the two ships used to be separate, but the people living there had so much reason to cross between the two, they put boarding passages up and welded them in place, fusing them together. People who handle the dark, mysterious and miraculous arts of financial management and resource acquisition work here. It’s also the most common place for the few cult members who aren’t purple-blooded, one of the few places they’re comparatively safe. Some non-church quadrants of purplebloods will also set up hive here.

The Abattoir is canny, sober, and calculating, a loyal ally until slighted and then a bitter enemy. The nature of her identity is a topic of fierce public debate, and he's certainly not giving out answers. Whether her consciousness is originally one of his bodies now inhabiting two, an amalgam of two minds indistinguishably linked, or some completely external force puppeting two bodies, everybody can agree she's damn good to have on your side, and that crossing him is a fatal mistake.

duelReactor: II speak clearly and concisely because II respect your time, motherfucker, and forsooth you will respect me similarly. II am busy today: I am on-ship and I am travelling to the flagship for work. II will be back in office by sunrise.

The Freakshow is a cesspit of violence and bloodshed. A very dangerous place, but also prime picking ground if you have strong conciliatory urges and are looking for your One True Diamond. People who want to settle shit once and for all can come here, and the winner will probably get a cut of the pot from the people betting on their death-match. The bloodshed and rage are technically holy and irreproachable but most fleet faithful tend to give this ship a wide berth.

The Behemoth is the epitome of Alternian culture: take what you want through force of bloodcolor and unmitigated violence, and maintain it through merciless supremacy. Sharper than it likes to act, and with a blatant disregard for any power except its own monstrous strength, it's been butting heads with the Grand Highblood ever since it came to power, and only a surprisingly canny ability to judge the rare occasions it's outmatched has kept it from marching on the Big Top and trying to take the throne by force.

brutishAnnihilation: O- BIG MOTHERFUCKER, BIG LETTERS, ONLY LITTLE BITCHES BOTHER WITH PUNCTUATION -O

The Penitent is essentially church jail, for sinners and troubled faithful, especially/specifically those who don’t have any close mentors or quadrants to help rehabilitate them. It’s also where prisoners under suspicion of church-related crimes are kept to wait for inquisition, as well as non-urgent/non-imperial messengers from outside the church who are waiting to be heard by the Highblood.

The Judgment is both incredibly stern and strict, and also surprisingly forgiving--her job isn't to decide who to cull, it's to decide which sinful highbloods can make their way back into the church, through a lot of prayer and ritualized punishment. In person, though, she's a terrifying battle-ax of a troll with zero patience for dilly-dallying or lollygagging or talking back or not talking back enough or failing to use her title or answering clearly and concisely!!! She has shit to do!

consecratedCourtroom: Very rarely embellishes. Very rarely ends sentences with anything but a period. Speaks CONCISELY to get her point across. Uses emphasis scaling that always seems a LITTLE passive aggressive and sarcastic. Occasional interjections of OVERRULED. GUILTY. DISMISSED. IRRELEVANT. Etc etc.

The Dark Carnival is a little bit of everything, but the clowns who work there are generally the best of the best in at least one area, or extremely promising. Intensely-devoted cultists, genii of violence and/or interrogation, artists, artisans, the rare mechanics, geeks and scientists, navigators, or just trolls who show a lot of ambition and leadership, all get funneled into the Dark Carnival to be trained up as heads of their respective fields.

Trolls are always coming and going from ship to ship for whatever they need or to visit other faithful, and there’s always the constant low level of kinship between any members of the church, but there is also a certain amount of distance between the microcultures of each different ship.

Outfitting is pretty consistent ship to ship, with exceptions; on the Penitent nobody but the sufferingmasters and the captain are allowed weapons, armor, or decoration. On the Blessed clothes tend to be plain and austere by cult standard, but they are allowed to wear armor and carry weapons.

Scriptures (to date)

Beginnings - a clown book of Genesis, of sorts. Creation myths and ancient church history.

“When it started we had fuck-all but dark. And so it stayed until Messiahs pulled back the curtain and said ‘let’s get this motherfucking party started’. And they threw stardust down and it hit mud and it made dirtbloods, baked all dry enough like they could crumble if you breathed wrong. And it hit water and it made waders; wet, cold, mirthless salty motherfuckers with too much eye for their own motherfucking sparkle. But where it hit oceanside it made trolls out of sand, all capricious as fuck and changing with the water. Trolls who could go hard or give when they had to. All balanced on the universe high wire and not ever falling sea-side or ground-side but right there on their line like the acrobatterers they were. From the sand were made the faithful; from the beachwood their horns, their goddamn bone snapped off from sea-floor stones on mountains under the water. And what they made was Troll. Only that. Just that and no motherfucking more. And when the last world was all fit together, messiahs looked on it and said ‘motherfucking money’.

“Remember this story, faithful, and remember its lesson. Change yourself always like sand in the water, you motherfuckers hand-shaped of surf and whimsy.”

“Urge of chaos and whim of change be ever on your skin like paint, in your pusher like blood, on your horns like a crown. Mirthful, faithful. Kickass and giving no shits.”

(Book of) Colors - church policy on lowbloods, seadwellers, social order and painting, as well as the meat of the “Dark Carnival” scriptures/afterlife mythology.

“You’re next. You’re motherfucking next, give no mercy because the mercy of the messiahs is only as much as fits in their hands and what’s poured out on shitblooded scum will not be given you in the dark carnival gates and—”

“The Vast Honk will deafen and take from us, and all together we’ll head on up and get our dance on through fire and over skulls and horns—”

“No fear, brothers and sisters, no fear of the waders, the brine-drinkers. There's no mirth in the sea and no painting the water doesn't wash off and you've got your hands on the righteous shit they won't ever know. No fear of the waders, for you're higher than them. You're higher than anybody.”

“I fucked up, I fucked up, the fault's mine and there's no motherfucker I can share it with, I fucked up, forgive me.”

Sacrament - ceremonies, specifically related to new initiates and promotions within the church. Naming ceremonies, promotions, priesthood bestowal, etc.

Suffering - Stories of martyr deaths and heretic executions. Unique in that it is occasionally edited or added to if the church believes a story has been included in error or that a modern event needs to be added to the record.

“…I am lost, kin. My eyes see no colors I know.”

The Cult of Flesh were a heretic movement deemed too dangerous to the faith of the readers to be included in the book of Suffering. Their belief that the Messiahs came to Alternia and were raised in flesh bodies by a troll acting as a lusus has been stricken from this record; their attempt to win over the current Grand Highblood, who they consider the descendant/reincarnation of the holy troll-lusus Brother Immortal, caused a schism and internal inquisition violent enough to be purged from the accepted imperial history.

Hilarities - Platitudes and words of wisdom, including the rules of comedy, the Great Unfunny Jokes, and some really quite good dating tips.

“It’s not a wise one who leaves the place of their motherfucking heart untimely. No laughter in the suffering of those early lost of their quadrants so rest you with heart and spade and club and diamond and speak of the fucking Hilarity to each other.”

“Fill the night enough full of holy deed and you’ll have no need of sopor to bless you with dreaming.”

“Ha ha, you salty motherfucker.”

“Let your spade burn hot, drive you up and make you great. In this motherfucking way your kin will increase you and I’m not just talking about your bulge, LOL.”

“The wage of weakness is death; fear the only edge sharpened by waiting.”

“Take all you can grasp in your greed and your lust. If something you want comes to your fronds, motherfucker, take it and run like it’s yours.”

Hot Shit – Letters from a historical Grand Highblood to his matesprit. Considered by some to be a holy template of pity and matespritship, and to others a hot piece of smut that has been hilariously canonized.

(Hot Shit 1:1) "My sister in mirth, blessed in hilarity, peerless in holy rage; u up girl? :o?"

“Only let me hear you want me! Hold me down and devour me, my love.”

“When my feet touch soil again I’ll make my way to you. Take me as you like, heart of my heart; throw me down and fuck me under night sky and the Messiahs will only hear me sing praise out louder. I’m hollow as a thunderstruck tree for you, sister. I need you like starving needs food, like rage needs mercy, like sin needs forgiveness, like pain needs pleasure.”

"In grandest tradition of hot motherfuckers at the prime of their lives, fuck if I don't get mad stupid when I'm horny, sister. :o("

"Well the fuck I will reward you when you come back to hive. So well will I show my love for your thicc motherfucking ass, not for a night and a day and a night will you get feeling back in your motherfucking legs."

Revelries - Praises and adulation to the messiahs.

"I'll sing out my praises with wicked flow to the messiahs who saw fit to smile on me. I'll praise and shout how I'm greatly blessed, I'll cry and weep how I'm not fucking worthy; their claws are in my soul, in the shape of my body, in the beat of my pusher. Oh, my holy kin, we are color and light inside. We are stardust. Hands raised and faces laughing, spitting sick and delirious, together in glory.”

“…the halls around you will be painted bright and all the glitter and shine you’d want; get ye lit as fuck, brothers and sisters, let the beauty of their holy color and noise spin your pan like a motherfucking top.”

“Oh that I’m of use to you, all times and ways and places, my idle rest is to watch your show and my dreaming to hear the holy motherfucking noise."

“For not a troll was ever made, who didn’t fuck up nightly; never a faithful hatched who deserved their seat at the show.”

“Never will we be anything but loud, nitty-gritty dirty little freaks. Lo, pour elixir and raise a glass.”

Conviction - The duties and trials of the church

“…leave ye not the dirtbound warm of blood to crawl and scrape, and waste offerings in vain. They owe you penance and awe and what they give you are owed to take. A good ruler does the mercy of taking.”

“When your feet are unsure and what comes on you is un-fucking-funny, seek you holy suffering in penance.”

“Dumbass, don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“If fool-ass jokers fail to learn from looking, let their bodies learn it for them; scars teach best what a motherfucker’s too deaf to hear.”

“If your kin gets you sinning, cut them away, no true fucking family can they be. If the noise from your flap be blasphemous, carve it from you and stitch shut your filthy mouth, motherfucker. If your flesh leads to sin scourge it clean, washed in blood; cut away rot, and leave only what’s holy. Repentance by mouth never saved a soul; spill blood and flesh in price of forgiveness.”

Angels - Death, last rites, damnation/double death, hell, etc.

“[death] itself is not a glory; more glorious far to walk on and trail paint where you walk.”

‘I suffer pain, and want become need…I am allowed no motherfucking means to make resistance. I wait for death, brothers. Pour one out for remembrance of my soul’.”

“Why seek martyrdom when you could bring a hundred down with you? Turn martyrdom to murderdom. Paint the way; make them pay. Shit, kin, let’s be destroyers.”

Devotions - Prayers, repentances and rituals. (”Leader.” “Congregation/faithful.”)

Repentance of sin (ending) - “Hail messiahs both.” “Their works, their great motherfucking joke in the pits of the worlds they left and in the space in between.” “Hail messiahs both.” “Your penance is paid.”

Reaffirmation of faith - “If I go false on promised devotions let messiahs grind stardust out my bones.” “If you’d paint the face of flawed unholy troll with the shades of our holy messiahs, answer yes brother I will.” “Yes brother, I will.”“If you believe truly in what holy mess and bloody riot will come at end of worlds, if you plan on being full and motherfucking ready, make some motherfuckin’ noise.” “(Response, freeform).”“Have your ticket ready when you kick it, give me an amen brothers and sisters.” “Amen.” “No mercy, faithful one.” “Amen.” “No fear.”

The Dark Scriptures - only shown to religious sacrifices before their deaths. Readers must subsequently die. Contents are a mystery.

His/Her/Their Mirthful Majesty

King/Queen/Crown of Colors

His/Her/Their Holy Hilarity

Biggest brother/sister

The Ringmaster

#Homestuck #CLOWN CHURCH BAYBEEEEE #anyway I have always had trouble finding my much older (now outdated) post of scriptures so this one's getting pinned lol #Hopefully this helps the people who have had to scroll through my whole-ass blog in the past trying to find ref #I keep this plus story notes at the bottom of the document because there is SO much lore and bullshit I have to remember #and my memory is NOT that good lol #art time!

463 notes · View notes

balladofsallyrose · 6 months

Text

Dennis Hopper's collection of owned and gifted books (a few are listed under the cut)

Islands in the Stream (Charles Scribner's Sons, 1970)

Magic (Delacorte Press, 1976)

Sneaky People (Simon and Schuster, 1975)

Strange Peaches (Harper's Magazine Press, 1972)

I Didn't Know I Would Live So Long (Charles Scribner's Sons, 1973)

Baby Breakdown (The Bobbs-Merrill Company, Inc., 1970)

37 (Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1970)

Presences: A Text for Marisol (Charles Scribner's Sons, 1970)

Little Prayers for Little Lips, The Book of Tao, The Bhagavadgita or The Song Divine, and Gems and Their Occult Power.

Lolita (G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1955)

The Dramas of Kansas (John F. Higgins, 1915)

Joy of Cooking (The Bobbs-Merrill Company, 1974)

The Neurotic: His Inner and Outer Worlds (First edition, Citadel Press, 1954)

Out of My Mind: An Autobiography (Harry N. Abrams, Inc., 1997)

The Savage Mind (University of Chicago Press, 1966)

Alive: The Story of the Andes Survivors (J.B. Lippincott Company, 1974)

The Documents of 20th Century Art: Dialogues with Marcel Duchamp (Viking Press, 1971)

The Portable Dorothy Parker, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, I Ching, and How to Make Love to a Man.

John Steinbeck's East of Eden (Bantam, 1962)

James Dean: The Mutant King (Straight Arrow Books, 1974) by David Dalton

The Moviegoer (The Noonday Press, 1971)

Erections, Ejaculations, Exhibitions and General Tales of Ordinary Madness (City Light Books, 1974)

Narcotics Nature's Dangerous Gifts (A Delta Book, 1973)

The Egyptian Book of the Dead (Dover Publications, 1967)

Tibetan Yoga and Secret Doctrines (Oxford University Press, 1969)

Junky (Penguin Books, 1977) by William S. Burroughs

Weed: Adventures of a Dope Smuggler (Harper & Row, 1974)

Alcoholics Anonymous (Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, 1976)

Skrebneski Portraits - A Matter of Record, Sketchbooks of Paolo Soleri, and High Tide.

Raw Notes (The Press of the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design, 2005)

Le Corbusier (Heidi Weber, 1965)

Henry Moore in America (Praeger Publishers, 1973)

Claes Oldenburg (MIT Press, 2012)

Notebooks 1959 1971 (MIT Press, 1972)

A Day in the Country (Los Angeles County Museum of Art, 1985)

Album Celine (Gallimard, 1977)

A Selection of Fifity Works From the Collection of Robert C. Scull (Sotheby Parke Bernet, Inc. 1973)

Collage A Complete Guide for Artists (Watsun-Guptill Publications, 1970)

The Fifties Aspects of Painting in New York (Smithsonian Institution Press, 1980)

A Bottle of Notes and Some Voyages (Rizzoli International Publications, 1988)

All Color Book of Art Nouveau (Octopus Books, 1974)

A Colorslide Tour of The Louvre Paris (Panorama, 1960)

Dear Dead Days (G. P. Putnam's Sons, 1959)

Woman (Aidan Ellis Publishing Limited, 1972)

The Arts and Man ( UNESCO, 1969)

Murals From the Han to the Tang (Foreign Languages Press, 1974)

A (Grove Press Inc., 1968)

Andy Warhol's Index Book (Random House, 1967)

Voices (A Big Table Book, 1969)

Another Country (A Dell Book, circa 1960s)

On The Road (Signet, circa 1980s)

#dennis hopper

57 notes · View notes

nephriteknight · 2 months

Text

Thoughts on Daggerheart!!

I'll admit I haven't really been following it until today, but after watching the videos released today I got very excited and ended up building a character and reading a lot of the book, as I am wont to do (might post about them later lol).

Now, full disclosure, I wouldn't say I'm all that familiar with the TTRPG space outside of D&D, so take my opinions with a grain of salt. That said, I've played D&D, Wanderhome, Alice is Missing, and the fan-made Hollow Knight TTRPG, and I've watched some AP of Kids on Bikes, Call of Cthulhu, Monsterhearts, and Candela Obscura, which is a longer list than I was expecting. Huh. Anyways, my thoughts!

I really like the duality dice! It's such an interesting way to do mixed success that incorporates story/character into mechanics, which is great.

Related to that, I also like Hope as a fluid resource, and I think that Fear is a nice way to both prompt GM action and to just create a fun sense of dread as the GM takes more tokens

The lack of turn order/action economy is... cool, and a really interesting idea, but my thoughts on this are complicated. As we're seeing in the oneshot right now, it really helps to keep combat as part of the story and give the players and GM room for creativity. (For example, Bunnie describing a counterstrike as part of her dodge, and being able to take it as soon as the GM's turn is over, as well as the tag team feature, which is very cool.) That said, I think this mechanic might not work so well with less experienced or less confident players, who might have trouble taking the initiative (heh) to act in combat (I know I certainly would if I wasn't playing with close friends). That's not really a criticism though -- this is a collaborative storytelling game, and part of playing it is making big moves and taking turns guiding the story. If that's not for you, then you might prefer a different system, which is fine! I think this mechanic has the potential to be really, really dope, but I also think it's the bit that has the most potential to go poorly in my eyes.

The art, design, and general aesthetic feel of this game are so unbelievably up my alley. I love it. That's all.

I'm excited to see that they're working on mechanics for playing disabled characters, but since they aren't out yet I can't really comment. (I did notice that the character in the bard art is in a wheelchair, which is dope.) Also, as others have noted, Daggerheart uses "heritage" and "ancestry" rather than "race", which is a small but good choice.

Personally, I also really like the choice to move away from precise measurements of distance and gold. This one is very much a personal preference, and I know some people will rightfully disagree, but I like it! As a DM, trying to determine the appropriate costs and rewards for things has always been a headache, and this seems much easier to manage; measuring distances with convenient and tangible measurements like the short side of a playing card or the length of a piece of paper also feels much easier to use.

The downtime mechanics are great! Each of the activities you can take prompts you to describe how you heal yourself or another, destress, repair armor, or prepare yourself for what's ahead, which really encourages quieter character moments both introspectively and with others. I'm a big fan of this. This combining of role play and mechanics is also present in other features, such as one of the major level 1 healing abilities, which is more effective if you spend the time it takes to cast learning something new about the person you're healing or sharing something about yourself.

I didn't look at this too closely because I was just making a character for fun and don't have a party to play with, but as part of character creation you're given questions about your relationships to your party members to answer. Wanderhome also has these, and they were MASSIVELY successful in creating depth and meaningful connections between players -- after our table's session zero I was already so invested in all our characters, and when we actually played them they really came to life. I haven't looked to closely at Daggerhearts version of this, but I'm very excited to see them.

The experience mechanic seems really fun and creative, and I especially like the idea of using a phrase rather than something specific. That said, when I played the Hollow Knight TTRPG, which also lets players create their own skills, the open endedness of it was more confusing than inspiring, and there was a lot of potential for a usefulness disparity between players. I do think Daggerheart explains it better, though, and limiting the use of experience with a Hope cost helps to counteract any choices that might be too broad, so hopefully it will work better

I probably have more thoughts, but it getting late and I have a headache, so that's all I'm saying for now :D

Overall, Daggerheart has combined a lot of things I've liked in other games with promising mechanics I haven't seen before, and I'm very excited to try it out. I'm now realizing that I just made a list of things I like without any negative feedback, which isn't what I wanted to do, but I'm not really sure what to criticize without having played it myself.

I'm most curious to see how the non-initiative mechanic works; it has the potential to be a really excellent solve for a major problem in D&D (plenty of people have talked about how initiative limits teamwork, can be boring when its not your turn, etc, so I won't get into it here), but I don't think it's a solution that will work for everyone. Of course, games can't work for everyone, and shouldn't try to. It's working really well on CR's oneshot as I write this, but making choices and sharing spotlight in TTRPGs is literally their job, so I'm not surprised this works for them. I could see this going really well with some tables I've played with, and really poorly with others. I'm still really optimistic, though; it seems like the kind of thing that with the right table could be really excellent.

#you know its not the point of this post but im gonna say it anyways: highly recommend wanderhome #good game; thank you saltzman for recommending it #daggerheart #critical role #table top role playing game #ttrpg

33 notes · View notes

doyoulikethis-vocaloid-song · 6 months

Text

🎼 FEATURED SONGS (1-39)

Wonderful Nippon! by kagomeP

Fool by john

I Don't Care Who, Somebody Go Out With Me! by TakyuP

START by LeftyMonster-P

Aura by Ghost and Pals

Fear Garden by Chaa

Big Toy Box by Hikaruringo

Milk Crown on Sonechka by YUZY

Tiny Me by masarada

Dancing☆Samurai by Kanimiso-P

I'm Glad You're Evil Too by Pinnochio-P

Why I Hate You by Naminé

Fools are Attracted to Anomaly by Utsu-P

Datte Boku wa AI by Yukitsuki

Love Love Nightmare by kiiichi

World is Mine by ryo

ggrks- Go Google It- by AhmingP

Go to Daitokai by Tsukiri

今夜もパンタレイ by Yuuki Haruno

Kimi to Mita Sora no Uta by TAKU1175 & Ryota Kikuchi

A Crow's Trial by Vane

Blessed Messiah and the Tower of AI by teamOS

Matryoshka by Hachi

Rainy Bunny by Suyi (人形兎) Yu Li (雨狸) and OQQ

Manimani by r-906

Earphones and a Chorus of Cicadas by Orangestar

Higurashi Moratorium by TOTAL OBJECTION

Remote Control by WONDERFUL★OPPORTUNITY

Doping Dance by STEAKA

hitomania by Sasuke Haraguchi

Senbonzakura by Kurousa-P

名の無い星が空に堕ちたら by Subete Anata no Sei Desu

URUSaaA愛 of YM

I Don't Wanna Know by SEDO Sounder

Stop Nagging Me! by Owata-P

arson by SUB MARINE

Echo by Crusher-P

Ringo Uri no Utakata Shoujo by yukkedoluce

Dreamless Dream by Harumaki Gohan

And a Youtube Playlist so you can listen to them all! I'll continue to update this as the polls finish up! 💚

#not a poll #results #featured songs

22 notes · View notes

sluttysnails334 · 10 months

Text

South Park High School Party Headcannons bc school is starting back up again and my inner party girlie is pumped

tw: alcohol, drug use, substance abuse, not good coping mechanisms lol

Tolkien host the parties, and buys the alcohol, he has a fake!

Kyle doesn’t drink, but is very 420 friendly

Stan, and Kenny and Cartman, and sometimes Butters, pregame. Stan gets alcohol from Randy

Tweek can’t go to parties sober because they overwhelm him, so he pregames with Craig of course and Kyle by getting high. Typically hot boxing Kyle’s car.

Bebe, Clyde and Nichole are all lightweights

Wendy and Red are not

Clyde is a both a giggly and sloppy drunk, he laughs at everything and can’t walk in a straight line.

Stan is a sad drunk, he always thinks he won’t be but he is, and always ends up in the bathroom or some empty room crying at the end of the night.

Kyle comes and helps him ^^^^

The Goth kids only drink whiskey, and smoke cigarettes outside the party bc they can’t stand the “white boy suburban trash music”

Speaking of music, Craig controls the playlist, when Tolkien host the parties. He plays dope music tho

Jimmy doesn’t think so, and tries to hijack the playlist and plays like ABBA or Queen and says that it’s “real music” and Craig yells at him because it’s not “party” music.

Craig and Tweek are touchy drunks, and more often than not will escape a party to go do NSFW things

Cartman always throws up. Butters helps him.

Kenny has p*lls and other hard drugs, because he has access it to, but doesn’t give it away to just anybody.

Most of the girls will only drink hard seltzers, and maybe like Pink Whitney. Only because it’s pink.

Bebe especially will never touch a beer. However if you get this girl a twisted tea, though ( which has beer in it ) she’ll be turnt.

If Tweek drinks, which he doesn’t like to, it’s wine. I don’t make the rules.

Cartman can do the WAP dance and always does when he’s drunk. (it’s hilarious)

Butters will deny up and down he doesn’t go to parties or party but for some reason is at every single one.

Tweek loves to dance, Craig does not. Tweek makes Craig dance with him.

Kenny will probably end up doing some sort of big stunt or dare that may or may not involve nudity.

Bebe is an angry drunk.

#south park #sp creek #sp headcanons #sp style #south park headcanons

30 notes · View notes

4evasummer · 11 months

Text

" last online: 15/11/2011 " (itto)

plot: you and itto were online friends back in the day where games like club penguin and wizard 101 were very popular, and always played and talked together online. however, one day you've never heard from him again.

notes: setting is modern au around 2009-2011 alongside present day. also i'm writing this at almost 3am help

content warning: angst, dialouge that screams early 2010s

~ 23/4/2010 (3:35am)

xxTheOneAndOnixx: hey there! wanna play some club penguin? :3 angelofdarkness1995: sure! but before that i need to show you my new hairstyle xD!!!! hint: it's what we talked about last week!!

xxTheOneAndOnixx: lemme see lemme see!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!111!!!!1!1 *angelofdarkness1995 sent an image* xxTheOneAndOnixx: WOW. that cut is so dope!!!!!!111!!!1! 0_o HOW DID YOU DO THAT????

angelofdarkness1995: had my big sis help me out :p. it was messy but worth it ;)

~ 1/6/2010 (12:04 am) angelofdarkness1995: HAPPY BDAY BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

xxTheOneAndOnixx: thx!!!!!!!

angelofdarkness1995: i made you a lil shoutout video on youtube!! it has your favourite song in it!

xxTheOneAndOnIxx: now this is what i'm talking about!!! this video is fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!

angelofdarkness1995: omg tysm itto!!!! took me almost whole day to make it tho 0_o!

xxTheOneAndOnixx: hey, hey! there's no need!! let'z go play some moviestarplanet!!! i need to show off my new wardrobe to you ^^ angelofdarkness: YESH LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

~ 12/9/2010 (3:30 pm)

xxTheOneAndOnixx: srry i've been inactive for a while :<. i had to move to a new town and i ended up breaking my computer in the process ;; angelofdarkness1995: is okay! a ton of stuff has happened lately! have you heard that the shogun just created a myspace account? :0

xxTheOneAndOnixx: REALLY??????!!?!?!?!!?!? THAT'S NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

looking at older messages gives me comfort, despite the second hand embarassment. but the real thing is...why does time have to change? i looked at the last post itto sent in that forum we posted in everyday. it was a blingee of an anime girl dressed in emo clothing, captioned, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I GOT SCAMMED IN CLUB PENGUIN FOR THE 7TH TIME THIS YEAR :((((((((!!!11!!!! SOME1 HELP ME :((((((" many users responded to his post, asking him how it happened and offered solutions to rectify the issue. others made fun of him for his gullibility.

the cursor on the screen seemed to lead itself to the chatrooms, and clicked the chatroom between myself and itto. i read the latest messages we exchanged. ~15/11/2011 (9:00pm) xxTheOneAndOnixx: wow that mario kart sesh was hella dope 0_0! how do you have such insane drifting skillz???

angelofdarkness: it was blood, sweat and tears lol?\. xxTheOneAndOnixx: welp grandma is calling me down for dinner. see ya later alligator :3 angelofdarkness: see ya! :p last online: 15/11/2011 "i wonder where he is now" i ask myself as i open twitter and create a thread regarding itto's whereabouts.

welp that was my first tumblr fanfic ever. if you read this thanks so much and consider reblogging, liking and following! it's very appreciated :3!

#gigifics #genshin impact #arataki itto #arataki itto x reader #genshin itto #itto x reader

34 notes · View notes

zantedeschia-praesul · 12 days

Note

1, 2, 9, and 14 LOL

@kowaindar0u

20 QUESTIONS FOR MULTI-MUSE BLOGS!

HO BOY here goes 8D!

1. which muse is the easiest to write?

i love writing all my Bakumatsu bois honestly, but lately it's been Nagasone Kotetsu!

I prolly picked up a few bits from ex RP partners and previous fanarts of him, but I love writing out soft moments for him, or moments where he would try and accommodate or help out other comrades. Even in Bakaten i feel like he's this dad friend who looks out for everyone, but then tends to forget to look out for himself too, and wants to fix the shit that happened in the past.

You know that scene when he's hurt and Hachisuka still argues why he did what he did and he brought up the fact that "wasn't that the way of the Shinsengumi" and Nagasone was like "it's because of it that I saved you dammit!" like essentially danna was like "we fucked shit up in the past so now i dont wanna repeat that at all in our current timeline!"

i fucking love my Commander qAq

2. which muse is most likely to go to jail?

i dunno mang right now they're pointing at each other so im guessing they all are most likely to end up behind bars :V that meme where "tag your friend who would be in jail with you together" or something similar? YEAH THAT'S ALL SEVEN OF THEM; THE SHINSENGUMI, MUTSU, AND YAGEN 8U

no wait, all SIX of them except Horikawa. he'd prolly try to bail them all out or something.

9. what song do you associate with each muse?

Surprisingly none that i can think of :0 but i do tend to imagine my Bakumatsu bois in Kpop MVs like Shinee and Big Bang ehek ;P

Heck, i cant even think of any song associated with Saseki right now //sadge _(:'3

14. what sort of youtube channel would your muses have?

Oh Mutsu is easily anything to do with historical places (prolly will collab with Nankai sensei on this one), the latest gadgets and maybe vlogs about his photography adventures :3

Kashuu might just have one of those makeup vlogs and even DIY accessories making videos <3 like just his hands making pretty hairpins and all

Yams sometimes does collabs with Kashuu of course, coz they come together as a set, but he prolly would do like everyday life of people around him, something similar in Tsuki no Maki, but vlog style <3

Izumi and Horikawa are a set too don't separate them. Not sure what sort of content but prolly something similar to Good Mythical Morning or something ehek (or maybe something like Welcome to Jackass //OKNO)

Nagasone would probably, PROBABLY, posts workout clips, like i follow this cosplayer posting workout clips in his cosplay (and he's actually pree hella dope), so something similar i guess? with occasional cooking videos <3 now i think about it his cooking videos would be something similar like Hulk_kun on Tiktok!

Yagen would maybe take viewers on tour about medicinal plants, maybe a bit of foraging here and there :3 even sometimes appearing in Nagasone's cooking vids with the stuff he forages ehek

Saseki is easily art vlogs, like one of those tutorial vids or him just posting speedpaints and works in progress. and occasionally shorts of art memes; something like Melly Vuong on YT :3

#[Battle Records]#kowaindar0u #imagine izumi be like HI IM IZUMINOKAMI KANESADA AND WELCOME TO JACKASS 8D

4 notes · View notes

dullahandyke · 11 months

Text

[Image description: a bingo card titled, "Oh shit it's Eimear bingo". Its squares are as follows: 'typing or keyboards', 'kingdom hearts', 'bandori', 'writing', '3DS', 'bigender', 'vocal synths', 'undercut haver', '♥ boobs ♥', 'autusm', 'rhythm gamer', 'butch', 'hot (free space)', 'wants to be cool', 'rural', 'bit of a dope ♥', 'not enough braincells to have intelligent commentary', 'irish', 'ack the apathy...', 'cat haver', 'noises enjoyer', 'had an insane minor character phase', 'aromantic', 'used to draw but stopped', 'big stim moment'. End image description]

ill b real i have no idea how doable this is but i saw ppl making theirs n i thought it was fun so mine bwahhhhh i think its a p thorough encapsulation of me as a person

#feel free 2 do it but tbh half the fun was making it so im happy

20 notes · View notes

rametarin · 15 days

Text

My favorite rap songs.

I like the one that starts like,

"BOOTY BUTT, BUTTCHEEKS, CLAPCLAPCLAP, ASSORTED 'OH!' NOISES AND SEX."

And also the one that's like, FEMALE AND/OR FEMININE PERSON SEX NOISES ON LOOP "MY DICK IS HUUUUUGE. OH. SEX. YES INDEED." Love songs, you know.

Also the timeless ones: "WEED. YES, WE'LL SPELL IT. WE TOKE IT AND SMOKE IT AND BLOKE IT AND GEL IT. IF YOU KNOW HOW TO DISSECT MUSIC, WE SELL IT. THIS SONG'S ABOUT WEED! WEEEEEEEEEEEEED."

But there's also rap songs like: "BRAPPA BAP BAP BOW I GOTTA GAT AND IT MAKE NOISE LIKE THAT. SHOT A RIVAL SELLER ACROSS THE STREET, PUT HIS FAT BLACK ASS IN A BOX NEXT WEEK. I SELL DRUGS IF IT ISN'T OBVIOUS. IT'S THE ONLY JOB OUT HERE FOR SOME REASON BEYOND US. NEED A GANG FOR SAFETY, TOO MANY GANG BANGERS. WE'D PUT THE GUNS DOWN AND STOP SHOOTING, BUT THE GANG NEXT DOOR IS A DANGER. THANKS TO DRUG CHARGES, CAN'T OWN THEM LEGALLY. BUT THE DRUG DEALERS SELL GUNS, OR YOU CAN GET A HOT ONE THROUGH THIEVERY. DAMNED WHITE PEOPLE AND GUN CONTROL. FORBIDDEN TRIGGER FRUIT GET YOU LOCKED AWAY 'TILL YOU'RE OLD."

And also, "LIFE IS HARD FROM THE HEAT FROM ALL OF THE GANG DEALERS BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE A PAWN I WANT TO BE A TOP EARNING BIG WHEELER. I WISH THE LAWS DIDN'T TARGET INNOCENT BLACK MEN, BUT SO LONG AS CRACK'S ILLEGAL IT'S NOT IF, BUT WHEN. I LOOK DOWN ON OTHER BROTHERS FOR, 'BEING TOO WHITE.' IF YOU DON'T HAVE MY INFLECTIONS AND ACCENT, 'CUZ, WE GON' FIGHT."

Followed up immediately with, "FUCK COPS AND FUCK PIGS AND FUCK WHITE LAWYERS, ALL I DID WAS RUN FROM POLICE, B/C I'M A SOLDIER. THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO CHASE AND PURSUE, I GOT BILLS TO PAY AND THE RENT IS DUE. I DON'T PAY TAXES FOR THE DRUGS I SELL, I JUST COLLECT SAFETY NET MONEY, MULE DOPE AND YELL. THIS FILTHY SOCIETY IS NOT MADE FOR ME, I CALL 9/11 BUT IT TAKES HOURS TO SEE. PERHAPS IF THE HOOD HAD FEWER DOPE DEALERS, MORE PEOPLE TO BE NURSES, DOCTORS AND AMBULANCE WHEELERS. BUT INSTEAD WE GET CARNAGE, VIOLENCE, DEATH AND THE KNEE. I BLAME WHITE PEOPLE FOR GANG BANGERS, LIKE ME. THE LOCAL SCHOOL COMMITTEE EMBEZZLED FUNDS AGAIN, OUR DISTRICT HOOD IS 99% BLACK, BUT I'LL BLAME THE WHITE MEN. WE WON'T EVEN DISCUSS THE DEAD KIDS BY STRAY FIRE, JUST ATTRIBUTE THAT TO OUR SITUATION, MOST DIRE."

And sometimes the song that goes like, "WHITE PEOPLE ARE EVIL, WINK AND NOD, I'LL MENTION THAT EVIL SCIENTIST, YAKOB. MORE SOUR GRAPES THAT'D GET A WHITE ARTIST CENSURED, BY FAR. LISTEN AS I GET AWAY WITH SAYING THE WORDS OF THE R-. CASUAL SLURS AT GAY PEOPLE, BUT IT'S OKAY, I'M OPPRESSED. WE'LL BLAME WHITE AMERICA, AND FREEDOM OF SPEECH DO THE REST. MORE CONSPIRACY THEORIES, LIKE ALEX JONES, JUST WITH VAGUE SEIGE MENTALITY AND WANT FOR POWER, BLACK OWNED."

And who could ever forget this wonderful little ditty. "THINLY VAILED CALL TO ETHNOSUPREMACIST ARMS, WE GOT AN UNDERDOGS GRUDGE AND WISH INCREDIBLE HARM. UH YEAH, OPEN TALK OF 'US' FINALLY RISING, SEIZING A STATE AND THEN GETTING 'ENTERPRISING.' SOLIDAIRTY FISTS AND LAURELS, ROSES SICKLES AND HAMMERS. IT'S JUST A PITY OUR FINANCEERS ARE IN SLAMMERS. BUT WE WON'T BE DENIED, SOVEREIGNTY IS OUR MISSION. WE'LL ANNEX PART OF AMERICA, OUR SECESSION AMBITION. C'MON JOIN MY MOVEMENT." Pity nobody actually joined it. The artist hasn't given up hope that Black America will eventually personally finance his vaguely/lapsed Islamic Caliphate that practices polygamy and consumption of pork, and hopes for splitting off from the United States to form a legally sovereign nation inside the United States. Preferably one that can cry for reparations and the poor state of the reservation every year while the leadership misappropriates funds as they have the right to do, letting the populace demendent starve. Echoes of Sean P. Diddy Combs' compound and any time they try this ethnoseparatist movement.

And the ever loved, "YEAH YEAH YEAH. MIC CHECK. POLITICAL COMMENTARY! THIS SONG'S ABOUT SLAVERY YES, AGAIN. 244 YEARS FROM THE FIRST TO THE LAST, WE BEEN LEGALLY OUR OWN FOR A CENTURY AND A HALF. BUT NOT IF YOU ALSO COUNT THE POLL TAX, AND TRASH. JUST A REMINDER THAT RACISTS EXIST, SO I SAY ON GOOD AUTHORITY, WHITE PEOPLE BE IT. IT'S WRONG TO STEREOTYPE AN ENTIRE GROUP, BUT ONLY IF IT'S US, MENTAL GYMNASTICS, WOOTWOOT. HOW DARE THEY SPEAK AS IF WE'RE MONOLITHIC. BUT IT'S COOL IF WE SAY WHITES COLLECTIVELY ARE DICKS. IT'S WRONG TO TREAT A GROUP LIKE THEY'RE ALL CRIMINALS, UNLESS THEY'RE WHITE, THEN: DAMAGE RECEIVED = MINIMAL. MY CAREER SURVIVES DESPITE INSISTENCE ON SLURS, AND I DON'T EVEN JUST MEAN THROWING AROUND THE N-WORD. IT'S THE 90S AND THEY'RE MAD, BUT CONSIDER IT CHARITY, TO LET A 'BROTHER' DROP GAY SLUR F-BOMBS AND STILL WANT MINORITY SOLDIARITY. SO WE GET TO SPICE IT UP WITH THE LYRICS, PEOPLE WANT TO SAY RAWNESS AND THEY ALSO WANT TO HEAR IT. WE'RE PRIVILEGED TO HAVE THE RULES LAX FOR US, WHITE ARTISTS CAREERS DISAPPEAR WHEN THEY MAKE THIS MUCH FUSS. THEIR STINT WOULD BE OVER AND THEY'D CATCH ENDLESS FLACK, SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO CUSS ON AIR WHILE NOT BLACK. THIS DISPARITY COMES FROM ACADEMIC LEFTIST FLACK. WE GET TO MAKE WAVES, AND THEY'VE GOT OUR BACK. ANYONE ELSE TRY TO SPIT TRUTH, GETS HIT WITH VAGUEPOSTS THAT DIRECT PUBLIC RELATIONS' NOOSE. THIS IS FAIR AND IT'S TIGHT AND NOT AT ALL TRITE OR A SPIT IN THE FACE TO EQUAL RIGHTS. "

And who could ever forget the classic: "HEY YOOOO I'M A WHITE RAPPER. IT'S '94 TO '04, AND I HAVE MOXIE AND SASS. MORE THAN THAT, HOWEVER, I'VE GOT UNLIMITED N-WORD PASS. A PRIVILEGED, CARTE BLANCHED AND SHELTERED USE, DON'T YOU WORRY, BUT ITS USE CAUSES CONTROLLED OPPOSITIONAL CONTROVERSY. THE ONES THAT AREN'T COLLARED TO BIG BOY GAME RAPPERS GET THEIR CAREERS DESTROYED AND THEIR BUTTCHEEKS ALL CLAPPERED. SEE, RAP CAN BE PARTICIPATED IN BY WHITE PEOPLE! I'M PROOF! IT'S A LIE WE'RE NOT WELCOME OR EVEN TOP OF THE HEAP-LE, THE TRUTH. I HAVE AN AUDIENCE BECAUSE I'M A PLANT; WHAT A RACKET, IF NOT FOR MY USE IN WHITE SOCIETY, I JUST COULDN'T HACK IT. MY CLAIM TO FAME IS I USE A THESAURUS AND DON'T SPEND ALL THE SONG JUST REPEATING "UH" AND "YEAH", FOR US. M.C. PET-MAJORITY SIGNING OUT, DADDY NEEDS MORE LIPS UP HIS ASS."

But I also like that rap song that goes like: "UH. YEAH. CHECKIT. PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY, MY JAM. THIS SONG HAS NO POINT, BUT I'M FOND OF THEM, MAN. SOME ABSTRACT FLOW, WHERE IT GOES I DON'T KNOW, IT HAS NO POINT BUT THAT'S THE POINT OF THE SHOW. IT'S HARMLESS, GARMLESS, THERE'S NO CONTROVERSY HERE. JUST STREAMING OF CONSCIOUSNESS, MAYBE THANKS TO WEED AND BEER. BUT, THEY'RE NOT REALLY MENTIONED IN THE SONG, JUST IMPLIED BY THE TONE AND THE AMBIENT SOUND EFFECTS OF PING-PONG. MAYBE I'M REFERENCING RAPPERS THAT SAMP'D MORE POPULAR SONGS HOPING TO MAKE SALES MORE AMPED."

Maybe I'll add to this list when I can think of a few more rap song niches, complaints and themes.

Also, chill out. If you can handle boiling down country music as a genre to the same songs about beer, trucks, sex and racism, you can handle a tongue in cheek post about rap song tropes.

2 notes · View notes