#biblethumpersims
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Robin and Candace Mills had 13 children: Jeff, Taylor, Stephanie, Jonas, Juliet, Lance, Harrison, Brittney, Lindsay, Cooper, Regina, Tyler, and Shawn.
Robin completed his Nerd Brain aspiration and became a bestselling author, best known for his books about the Watcher. He died surrounded by just family, no cameras.
Candace died two days after Robin, and her daughter Regina honored her final wish of having her death filmed and uploaded to ChristTube as a video titled “MY MOM went to MEET JESUS?!?!! 😭😱😇 FINAL CHANNEL UPDATE 😫😭”
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At 18, Jill is allowed to have social media accounts without supervision. She immediately starts a recipe blog praising granola and essential oil casserole as the Godliest food because preservatives are the devil’s ingredients. Of course, every recipe is prefaced by a 15k word ramble about how God personally invented each oil to be more effective than medicine and signed off with a link to a video about how McDonalds is secretly using aborted fetuses in their McNuggets.
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"Mom, Juliet’s crying.”
“So? Juliet’s been crying literally since she was born. What makes this time sooo special?”
“Well, like, I just think that, maybe, you should talk to her or something?”
“Ummm, wow. I’m, like, suuuper busy. Maybe she can come to me if something’s wrong? Like, I’m not a mind reader!”
“...Nevermind. You’re totally right."
“Duh! I always am. You should talk to her yourself. Like, it will be really great practice for handling your own kids!”
“Good point. I’ll totes do that, thanks.”
“Hey, Jules, are you, like, okay? What’s on your mind?”
“Will God kill us all if one of us does something totally bad?”
“What?”
“If Taylor does something bad, will God kill me or you or Mommy to teach Taylor a lesson?”
“Um. Well, uh, God won’t kill you until it’s your time to die. Duh.”
“But, like, what if today is my time to die because God decided it’s time to punish Taylor?”
“Wait a sec, why would God punish Taylor? Did Taylor, like, do something?”
“I heard Mommy and Daddy talking earlier. Taylor, like, told a boy she loved him and now God’s soooo mad because she didn’t wait until she was married! What if God’s so so sooo mad that he hits us with an earthquake and, like, our apartment totally collapses and we all die because of her?!”
“Is this what those goth kids at church were telling you? They’re freaks, you deffo shouldn’t listen to their doom and gloom.”
“No! I totally thought of this myself! But Sappho thinks like I do. But not because she’s goth! Mercy Eaten agrees with us and she soooo isn’t goth. She wears yellow.”
“Well, that-”
“Are we going to die?” Juliet asks suddenly.
“One day.” Stephanie shrugs. Juliet’s eyes get wide and frightened, so she quickly adds “But not today! Or tomorrow. Or, like, soon.”
“How do you know?”
“Because... um... Taylor sooo hasn’t been given a chance to repent yet! God won’t kill us because Taylor can totally still say sorry and make things right.”
“Hmm.”
“All good now? Sooo great. I’ll catch you around, Jules.”
#generation 3#mills#fundielegacies candace ruth#fundielegacies stephanie bridget#fundielegacies juliet delaney#biblethumpersims
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Jasper and Dorothy Flanagan stopped having children after the twins, having just 7: Jet, Onyx, Sapphire, Malachite, Amber, Carnelian, and adopted son Peregrine.
Jasper started off as a freelance Paranormal Investigator, but eventually dabbled in being an author and a social media influencer - neither took off. But he was happy with what he accomplished for both the Watcher and his own ego. Although they had their difficulties, Jasper and Dorothy never divorced and he attended her funeral.
Dorothy secretly confirmed that Peregrine was Jasper’s, but took that to her grave. She raised Peregrine, but struggled to really accept him as a Flanagan. Despite it, or maybe because of it, Peregrine was the only one present when Dorothy died.
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Simon and GodsMiracle Eaten had 16 children: Rocky, Cliff, Clay, Azalea, Zinnia, Ash, Hunter, Holly, Jasmine, Rowan, Willow, Magnolia, Buck, Petunia, Primrose, and Olive.
Simon completed his Country Caretaker aspiration and outlived every other parent, including his twin and his wife. He died at home.
GodsMiracle completed her Big Happy Family Aspiration and, like her husband, died at home.
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Samuel and GodIsParadise Eaten had 15 children: Jill, John, Nathan, Amy, Gabriel, Mercy, Grace, Robert, Phillip, Josie, Charles, Jane, Lauren, Joseph, and William.
Samuel has already completed his Mansion Baron aspiration (because I use mods that don’t require 20 columns), and would go on to work hard until he died. In return, his children would remember him as a Godly man that never let his family want for anything.
GodsParadise was anxious until she died, but she completed her aspiration of performing 100 romantic gestures with her soulmate. She passed on before Samuel, but at the time their two youngest were about to become adults so Samuel never struggled as a single father.
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Jill Eaten marries Brett Barajas.
Jet Flanagan marries Dolly.
I’ve been on the fence about ending the blog, and now that all the oldest kids are married I feel confident in saying that this will be it. All the other kids grew up Godly married early and bred often, amen.
That said, I will do four more posts briefly covering the fates of each of the family parents.
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Cliff Eaten gets married to Gloria Cambeiro.
Clay Eaten and Emilia Lowry get married. Emilia shows up in a dress dramatically different than what she promised Clay she would wear, which would be gossiped about for years to come. Clay refused to go on with the wedding until she does something about those harlot shoulders...
...so Emilia gets married in Clay’s mother’s old jean jacket.
#generation 3#s gm eatens#fundielegacies cliff jay#fundielegacies clay linnett#fundielegacies emilia morgana#biblethumpersims
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I will no longer list birthdays, just courtships & weddings, and instead of a daily recount it just happens when it happens.
Rocky Eaten marries Traci Yarger.
Jet Flanagan starts courting Dolly.
Jill Eaten starts courting Brett Barajas.
#generation 3#s gm eatens#flanagans#eatens#fundielegacies rocky dale#fundielegacies jet obsidian#fundielegacies jill anna#//Dolly is a nod to a storyline I scrapped this won't turn into anything#biblethumpersims
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“Mom, I don’t want a birthday party tomorrow.”
“What?! Jules, that is sooo ridiculous. Why wouldn’t you want a party?”
“My friend, Sappho, says birthdays usurp the importance of Jesus’s birthday and God will kill us all for thinking we’re as good as Jesus.”
“Jules, Jules, Jules,” Candace tsked, “Like, every day billions of Sims celebrate their birthday, and, like, not even one has been struck down in righteous fury over it. It’s totally fine to have a party.”
“But mom-”
“Julie, sweetie, I’m, like, so done talking about this. If we don’t throw a big party, everyone on Simsta will totally think I’m a bad mommy. Just because it’s your birthday, that doesn’t make this about you, ok? You can, like, totally pray and repent after the party if you want. And btdubs, don’t hang out with those goth freaks. Everyone will judge you. Mmmkay?”
“Ok, mommy...”
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“Rocky. Your mom told me you’re being brainwashed by secular scientists into abandoning Jesus.” Simon’s tone was firm and disapproving.
“She’s just being hysterical. Probably the pregnancy hormones.”
“She isn’t pregnant right now.”
“She’s still a woman, and more emotional and unreasonable than us.”
“That is true, but you’re going off topic. What is going on?”
“Humanity is ruining God’s Earth! We’re polluting the air He gave us and we’re dumping oil into the ocean-”
“Rocky Dale Eaten! Where are you getting this from?! Who’s corrupting you with left wing hippie propaganda?!”
“It’s not propaganda! We’re really-”
“For every scientist that says we’re ‘ruining’ the planet, there’s two more saying everything is fine! They’ve been crying global warming for 50 years and nothing has happened. They’re being paid by the elites to make you afraid, because the easiest way to control the masses is fear. If they can scare you, they can control you.”
“I’m not scared! I want to save the Earth God gave us!”
“The Earth is fine! You’re drinking the environmentalist’s kool aid! No more tv or computer until you’re married!”
#generation 3#s gm eatens#fundielegacies simon eaten#fundielegacies rocky dale#(he is getting married tomorrow lmao)#biblethumpersims
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“Do you hate me?”
Dorothy looks over at Peregrine, then dramatically sighs and closes her book. “I would much prefer if you had never been born, but if it were not you then it would simply be some other child spawned from Satan’s embrace. I do not blame you.”
“But do you hate me?”
“I adopted you, even when your parents were ready to cast you to Satan’s arms. Of all the people you know here on Earth, I dare say I hate you the least.”
“Does everyone hate me? Why did my parents give me away?”
“Your mother is a false Christian consumed by the devil’s passions and your father...” Dorothy pauses. “We’ll see about your father. Don’t you ever forget: what happened in the library was a secret, and telling anyone would damn you eternally.”
“I know. You keep telling me.”
“I’m joyed to hear of your understanding.”
Peregrine rocks on his feet. “Malachite likes me more than you like me. We play together all the time!”
“How delightful. Why not go play with him now?”
“The chemistry table blew up and he had to take a bath. He wouldn’t let me stay in the bathroom with him.”
“I imagine he wouldn’t. What has become of the chemistry table?”
“I think it’s still on fire.”
"...”
“...”
“Jasper-!”
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Jeff got married in a wedding that was 90% Candace barking at everyone to pose for her camera and 10% actual ceremony.
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Sunday, Summer Birthdays
Eaten (GIP & Samuel)
- Josie Eaten (born)
Mills
- Lindsay Mills (born)
#generation 3#eatens#mills#at this point I'm not going to bother with not-birth birthdays#it has done 0 to help me keep track tbh#if the kid becomes relevant then I'll introduce them#biblethumpersims
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"Hey, mom, I got a job! I'm a conservationist."
"You're a what?"
"A conservationist is a-"
"No, no, I know what that is. So-called 'conservationists' are just hippie liberals lying about so-called 'climate change' and 'pollution' just to trick us into eating bug meat so the elites can reduce the Christian population! I can't believe a son of mine could be indoctrinated like this!" GodsMiracle begins to sob.
"Mom, no, that's not what this is! I'm saving God's Earth!"
"God can save his own Earth! If God didn't want us to use oil, then why did He put it in the ground? We sent you to a Godly school, they must have told you about Satan's lies about dinosaurs and carbon emissions!"
"They did! I know dinosaurs don't exist, I'm not stupid. And I'm not a liberal! We're ruining God's Earth-"
"Climate alarmists are always liberals! Real Christians know that this is how God designed the planet to be used-"
"I'm not a climate alarmist! I know climate change isn't real! I'm worried about the oil and plastics in the ocean, the forests we're-"
"That's the gateway talking point! First they lure you in by telling you we're destroying the ocean - which we aren't, when I was a kid we went to the beach and the water was fine! - then they tell you that driving a car down the street will set fire to a forest a million miles away, and next thing you know you'll be destroying your reproductive organs because you'll think it's 'cruel' to bring children into a world about to combust! It's all a big scam by the Satantic Temple to trick young women into not fulfilling God's command to have children! They want to get rid of all the Christians, and you're feeding into it!"
"I'm not! I'm trying to save-"
"What? What are you saving? It's not your own people! They want to kill us all because we 'pollute' the Earth by seeing through their lies! Why can't you be like Clay or Zinnia, who are pure Christians, instead on starting down a path of sexual intercourse for fun and smoking the weed?!"
"I don't-"
"Go to your room! When your father hears about this, you'll really be in for it!"
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Peregrine wasn’t welcome to the Flanagan family. Even so, he’s part of it now.
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