#being there makes me want to die i fuckin hate it
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do you happen to have any other bls with toxic kings up your sleeve? i’m as giddy as you when it comes to ming! i’m newer to bls, so there’s a good chance i haven’t seen whatever you suggest.
Anon, I have an entire roster of toxic characters because
I LOVE TOXIC BITCHES!
Like 2 Chainz rapped on one of my favorite songs, "I love bad bitches, that's my fuckin' problem" which is why I HATE when a story won't allow characters to be toxic. Like we all know the character IS toxic, but the story keeps telling us he isn't that bad or he is only that bad because reasons. Regardless of the reasons, the character is a bad bitch so why not just let him fucking own it, which is truly the reason Only Friends pissed me off so much.
Case and point, my favorite characters were Ray and Nick. Ray was calling Sand a whore every two seconds and throwing money at him, while Nick was recording non-consexual sex tapes, yet the narrative wanted me to think they were just sad dudes who were slightly problematic.
NAH! Nick straight up said he was trash! THEY WERE TOXIC just like everyone else in that damn show!
Which is why I liked Kang in Dangerous Romance because I don't feel like the narrative eased up on his toxicity. In fact, I feel like the story said Sailom was into it with that master/servant scene at the very end.
So in order for me to love a toxic character, they must 1) be considered toxic by the story, and 2) stay toxic, so I'm going to give you a list of ten of my favorites, but know that spoilers are coming your way too. Also know that I do not recommend anything, ever, so these are not recommendations. These are merely my favorite toxicitos.
Mis tóxicos favoritos
presented in no particular order
Todd - Not Me
This man had his lover (it's canon to me) beat into a coma. Then, he went and grabbed that man's twin brother and made him take on his lover's persona all so he could overthrow his competition and be the number one evil capitalist. And then, AND THEN, he was excited to see his lover, Black, return even though he knew that meant he was probably going to die. Honestly, his entire relationship with Black was toxic, and I desperately need more of it. Not Me 2: Blackout when? WHEN, GMMTV?!
Rio & Kido - The Novelist Series
Rio blew Kido in front of an old man in broad daylight, so they could get a book deal. That's just one of the many fucked up things these two did together, but they were even worse apart. Rio lied to a college student for months about his arm being injured and writing pornographic novels just to turn on the college student and fuck him because . . . he was bored? It's deeper than that, but it kinda ain't. Rio and Kido did toxic shit to feel alive and that's my special brand of toxic. I will never make excuses for them. I like them this way.
Yai - Big Dragon
The very beginning of this show, as in the very first scene, is Yai and Mangkorn having sex AFTER Yai drugged Mangkorn in hopes of sexually assaulting him and recording it. AND MANGKORN IS INTO IT! Yai tries to steal Mangkorn's phone and ruin his life too, but Mangkorn is so in love with Yai, that he is willing to play along with whatever Yai does including fighting Yai. This is one of my favorite BLs for a multitude of reasons, but the biggest is because instead of trying to tame Yai, Mangkorn just decided to match his toxic energy! I love that for them.
Songpol - Club Friday
Bank plays toxic very well, which is why he has two characters on this list, even though this show isn't technically a BL. Club Friday is already a hot mess express, so to be the most toxic character in a show filled with toxic characters means that Songpol was TOK-SICK! He cheated on his boyfriend with multiple men. When his boyfriend left him for a woman, he showed up outside of that woman's house calling her a whore. He then went to their wedding just so he could fuck his ex in a bathroom (on his wedding day). He continued to hook up with his ex, and sent a video to his ex's wife of them having sex, only for her to tell him to move into the house and continue having sex with her husband! AND THAT'S ONLY THE SECOND EPISODE! He was serving telenovela villain, and I want him back.
Vegas - KinnPorsche
The scene: Vegas' beloved hedgehog has just died and he has carried out a tiny funeral for him while the bodyguard he has been holding hostage AND TORTURING comforts him, but instead of sitting in that grief, Vegas tells the bodyguard that the bodyguard is probably turned on by seeing Vegas weak, then proceeds to fuck him. Skipping over the fact that Vegas drugged Porsche, killed Tawan, got Big and Ken murdered by extension, and a plethora of other horrible shit, Vegas was a HUGE red flag from the very beginning, and I wanted him to choke me so badly. *bites knuckles*
Charn - Laws of Attraction
He had his reasons, but the story and his husband didn't let that be an excuse for his toxic behavior. He tried burning down Tinn's house, with Tinn and his grandmother in it, and Tinn was very upset about it. Not enough to not sleep with Charn, but enough to get his point across that if Charn wanted to burn something down, he needed to focus on burning down the oppressive heteronormative government, so we could all have basic human rights. Toxic, but for the cause.
Chalothon - The Sign
I knew he was a problem because the way he handled his patients, but he truly proved how toxic he was when he told Phaya he would kill Tharn before letting Phaya have him. I'm mad that the show made him good in the last episode, with most of if being off-screen, but I'll always remember how he committed psychological warfare on Phaya for eleven episodes in hopes of making Phaya seem crazy, and actually made Tharn, Phaya's soulmate, question Phaya's sanity.
Mol - 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us
The only woman on this list and she isn't even queer. That's how toxic this chick was that she made it on a this list being a heterosexual, which was a major part of her toxicity. She is a top-tier gaslighter to her son. She doesn't actually consider Inn her friend. She uses feminist rhetoric to be homophobic. She manipulates every situation in her favor by using tears. I could write a list just about her being lead paint toxic, but the most fucked up part is that she got to ride off into the sunset with her son in the passenger seat being miserable, which is what she wanted. No other BL parent could reach her level. Korn and Gun from KinnPorsche exist, yet this woman would eat them alive without hesitation, then go throw a party for herself. She really is that bitch.
Yong Jie - HIStory 4: Close to You
I'm not going to bullshit around him being a whole ass problem. This motherfucker is the most controversial pick on this list, and I am well aware of why he is hated by the people, but the story told us he was the devil. The show treated everything he did like stalking, physical assault, and sexual assault as horrible, and he got knocked out for it. HIStory 4 is my favorite BL, ever, and part of it is because the story let this toxic motherfucker BE toxic. I love how much I hate him, and I love how much the story allows me to hate him.
So - House of Stars
This show was a mess, so I was not expecting this man to come out as THE toxic king to rule over every other toxic character. What made him so toxic is that I had no idea just how toxic he was until the exact moment I realized it, and that's why he is one of my favorites. He was sneaky. He was playing everyone against each other. He was letting the bodies stack up. He was Tan from Dead Friend Forever without anyone figuring out he was Tan. One person realized part of his plan, but even then, that person was not aware of how committed to the bit So was. This smile was the very last scene of the show, and it really proved that this boy ruined everyone's lives only to walk out of it completely unbothered. You know, king shit.
#toxic kings#I love toxic bitches#it's the unhinged behavior and mind games that always gets me#house of stars#history 4: close to you#180 degree longitude passes through us#club friday#kinnporsche#big dragon#laws of attraction#the sign#not me#the novelist
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experiencing fhjy while currently being in the equivalent of junior year is so. Yeah that's what it's like that's how school treats you that's how I'm feeling RIGHT NOW. I love how perfectly accurate it is and I also hate it so much because they don't deserve to go through this shit
#like fuck man#im currently fucking struggling through school clawing my way to exams so i can stop dealing with all this bullshit and have a life#and i cannot WAIT until its over cause next years gonna be the chillest#but fuckin hell man some of these moments#adaine struggling cause the school just won't provide the resources she needs. fabian dealing with a 150% workload + ecs.#kristen being genuinely gifted but finding the paperwork so awful that her grades are plummeting.#gorgug being told he cant do what he wants to do because they want to keep him focusing on the path he chose when he was 14.#riz trying to keep his friends together because if they separate he doesnt know what hed do#ough#kristen especially is resonating with me HARD her entire energy is so fucking relatable rn#its giving burnout its giving tired undiagnosed teenager its giving doesnt know wtf theyre doing#shes strongly considering dropping out but then looking back and going FUUUCK I KNOW I GOTTA JUST PUSH THROUGH#shes hating the work its making enjoying the subject harder shes needing a break and nobodys willing to give her one#shes so me this year actually. realest ever I'll defend her til i DIE#d20#fhjy
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One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.
#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow#someone should kiss me#and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons#i love#im so drunk#i too drunk#i stated typing thos at 12:30#imma smoke pot after i post this#if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags#i need to stop drinking by myself#if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes?#at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself#im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this#trans thought time#i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true#like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option#but is it the right option?#i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny#cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny#this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise#america sucks#capitalism sucks#love is such a bullshit thing#how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou#like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong#maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist#i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally#12:51 and i have one more short tag to add#i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh#but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you
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Holy shit dude, Peggy haters on this webbed site have the weirdest fucking takes
I mean honestly, talk about willfully ignoring canon to form your own (wrong) opinions about a character...
#it's mostly the hardcore stucky shippers tbh#like...ship whoever you want#i like stucky just fine as a ship but damn#you're gonna hate on peggy for no fucking reason?#peggy carter#agent carter#captain america#captain america: the first avenger#ca: tfa#like i've literally seen posts saying that peggy was a nazi collaborator#or that she was based on a nazi double agent from the comics and therefore mcu peggy was basically a nazi as well like ?????#i saw one post that claimed steve was indifferent towards her in tfa and i'm just....#i'm sorry did we watch the same movie?#and the poster claimed the reason steve was 'indifferent' was so that marvel could have deniability about steve being in love with a 'nazi'#but ALSO so that real neo-nazis could believe that steve DID love a 'nazi' so that disney could make their money either way#like don't get me wrong disney sucks as a corporation#but i genuinely don't think they put that much thought into their writing of the steve/peggy relationship#tl;dr stucky stans on this hellsite act like fuckin twitter users in the levels of ridiculousness they reach at for their beloved ship#and it's fucking hilarious#also peggy carter supremacy and peggy haters can die mad about it idgaf
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Whatever happens i hope the entirety of the medical system and every other established bullshit broken system run by people whi think theyre entitled to other peoples worth burn to the ground as painfully as possibly and the people effected get to mount their heads on sticks before being given contracts to be involved in the rebuilding process so its actually fucking fair and works
Rapidly losibg vacation time i cannot just simply go to work after just fuck all bullshit
#winter speaks#i am so tired#that is the last phone call i am ever fucking making to anyone in the meducal industry ever the fuck again#if anything serious ever happens i think id honestly rather jhst wait n see if it kills me rather than get one more#blown off fuck you from people who went to school for years and years to help people and end up with the solution to everything#jusy being the mosy basic tests they can scrape by orderibg to shutbthe patient up long enough for insurance to kivk in#fuckij hate the system we libe in hate being percieved female hate that this is just how the fuck it is and now i just#have to play dr fuckin google and see if i can scrape uo enough energy to fix mg damn self bc god forbid#the medical industry to anything but wring you dry and yeet you to the curb as soon as theyre bored#fucking god damn son of bitch shit fucking sgupid ass bullshit#theres not enough floortume in the eorld for this i want to put my head through concrete#i have chronic issues please dear god help me. ha bet you fuckin loser eat shit n die but live long enough yo pay me#fuck
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They stole any possible joy of motherhood I could have possibly wanted they stole my entire childhood they stole my teenage years my twenties and they continue to steal my future they won't be happy untill they've taken my whole life
#i hope your in fuckin hell you ugly cultist bitch i hope your getting what you deserve dad i hope karma hits you#i hope all your children grow up to hate you#quiverfull parents are monsters and they all deserve a place in hell#i hope my next life is that is a thing i get freedom and respect in my life#i hope they get a say in their life snd are well loved well rested and happy#im tired of being alive im so fuckin tired of my life#i cant die because there's wo many people who depend on me but fuck life sucks and it really is 100 because of my parents#i wish my future was actually reachable#i wish people would stop using me#i love my siblings i love spending time and caring for them#but i look at all my other siblings and my dad who fits in dates multiple times a week#who get jobs that pay that they enjoy they get hobbies they are responsible for themselves and only themselves they are starting families#they're getting to experience what it's like to be allowed to be a teen a 20 something a fuckin human person they go to concerts they sleep#when theyre tired they use their money for their own bills and wants and needs they get to go do things with they're partners as often as#they'd like to they get to EXPERIENCE LIFE WHILE I TAKE ON ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY#i want to be able to move in with my partner go in dates do things with friends get married write books draw get a job#i want to grow and change#they get to experience young adult life i get the adult responsibility but not the life experience or world knowledge or wisdom#I'm supposed to be the friendless sexless constant caretaker whos hobbies are dishes and vacuuming#that being said i cant make a future if no one is willing to make a move i cant be the only person trying to grow up#this includes my partner my siblings my dad they all need to make steps for our goals or we'll be stuck in a stagnant bullshit of 'someday'#constantly daydreamin about a future that'll never come i need to start making steps for it and i need other people to start making steps to#gwt ready to start growing up I'm not goin to let people keep holding me back forever my life is goin to fucking change or I'm goin to die
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anyways tired of this mean spirited ass website
#maybe im the only trans person who actually hates being reminded of my anatomy idk#its fine if a trans girl says 'you just want a penis!!' but if i say the same thing but w vagina im sure i'd get a million ppl yelling at m#hmmst.#i kinna just think we let ppl slide by w that shit toward transmascs too much. everyone else can be transphobic#towards us directly or even indirectly but if i inched anywhere near the same shit yall say suddenly its an issue#its the same shit w the fucking theyfab shit. doesnt matter if it negatively effects transmascs to some ppl at all apparently#but if i start goin around calling people femmab we'd prolly have issues huh?#can we explain this? are we just doing the whole reversing gender roles to feel woke and Not transphobic#bc its not any better just saying trans girls are the uwu ones who need to be protected and you cant make them cry instead of having that#thrust upon us- ya dont just get to reverse them and act like you're Doing something#anyways you dont get to protect trans girls from any perceived harm and then leave trans guys in the dust sorry idc#fuck off and die ig idk. or be better.#and no- obligatory: im not saying trans women oppress trans men.#if me critiquing your actions = me saying you're 'oppressing me' every time then you're#probably an insufferable person to be around anyways. but assuming good faith from some of the ppl possibly reading this#and whom i wish would assume good faith on my part as well- i do think we let trans women get away w shit that if trans men#did the same shit in reverse everyone would get in a pissy fit about it#and i dont think the solution is to let us do it too i think the solution is some of yall need to check yourselves and internalize the whol#'would you like it if someone said that to you' shit and changing things where it applies like. would you like it if i said to you that#'you just want a vagina'? probably the fuck not! so maybe fuckin check yourself and you wont lose transmasc friends.
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Shoutout to me from five weeks ago, about to start my new job, saying "watch this space, in about four weeks my mental health will be deteriorating rapidly". That bitch was bang on the money.
#new job blues#capitalism#i fucking hate being employed it always makes me want to die#and i mean that so seriously (I'm safe but passive)#im so fuckin 'what's even the point'#and girl this job sucks#the actual calls are generally the least bad part of it tbh#some of the scripting sucks but that's not too bad. manageable.#but requesting support? escalating a request? transferring someone? all miserable.#some of this shit is so fucking convoluted#and im so tired of telling people i can't fucking help them because they don't have enough of their own information#also some of the managers are fucking CREEPS and it's real bad and communication between management sucks#culture there is kinda rough#it's like. ough i do not wwnt to be there at all tyvm#but this is the first job ive found that'll accommodate my 5 hour shift length. so what do i even do#screams#the system speaks
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Going on record to say I can’t stand scoutandcompany *bracing for impact*
#I’m WAITING for someone to see this and try and dogpile me#idk what it is abt scout and their followers but they SCOUR for ‘hate’#anyway. stop talking about animal care you have no experience or knowledge abt and making blanket statements#when you know full well your influence and the way ppl hang on ur every word#‘the rabbit people’ are actual farmers that deal with livestock as more than just a hobby. sometimes it’s ugly work dude.#if you can’t handle it just fuckin say so but that doesn’t mean you side eye the people who CAN#*cough* instead of letting upwards of 20 sale barn calves die in ur arms bc you couldn’t cull them when they got too far*cough*#that’s all I’m gonna say bc I know some keyboard warrior is gonna swoop in and try a ‘gotcha’ or some shit#but I really. don’t think scout should be talking w any kind of authority considering their situation#I don’t think they’re a bad person. I do think they’re full of themselves and on a power trip though#you can’t be a bleeding heart and be a farmer. you can’t do it. in order to keep livestock you have to get used to death#that doesn’t mean you can’t be SAD abt it but like. it has to be done and it’s not always bc of being a runt or whatever#and like ppl have said I 100% get not wanting to do so for calves when birth is such an ordeal for cows and they only have one or two#but that means you don’t have any authority to speak on nestbox culling in general so like. don’t lol
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im realizing now how much time twitter really took up for me. like not having it feels really nice rn. idk if its like this for anyone else, but for me bein on twitter seriously felt like a constant competition for attention so its nice bein back in my lil corner of the internet
#masky says#like i got this and i got tiktok which i also barely use cause i hate videos#i just like drawing yall#so rn tumblr is my only social media site n its kinda nice#i think i'd rather die then get instagram too btw#the algorithm reminds me of twitter where i constantly felt unseen#i mean i know i dont got a HUGE BIG FUCK ME audience but i mean-#yall like my stuff :D and yall like seein me make my rounds :D#even if im being a total bitch#its just nice havin that pressure off yknow?#fuck twitter thats a horrible site anyways btw#like its 90% ads from both their promoted tweets to their literal advertisements like#its like scrollin through there is mostly them trying to suggest u shit#tumblr's a whole different thing but at least i can curate the content to be what I WANT to see-#-instead of being suggested to follow the fuckin playstation account for the 50millionth time
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love how the same day i get good news about the hrt side of my healthcare, my other many health problems decide that y'know what? actually? u cant have a good time. that's not allowed. and ramped up my stomach ulcer to an 8 on the pain scale how fucking fUN
i am on the floor and NOT in a good way
#im supposed to go to an ER or walk-in clinic if that happens but they are NOT safe for me#so ive found some of my meds from the last time this happened and am gonna try and manage on those#& only if it gets rly horrible will i go to the ER & only with someone there to advocate for me so they dont commit literal crimes again#god. why why why#i do not wANT TO GO TO AN ER AND WAIT IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN FOR 12 HOURS just to be prescribed a stronger version of what i already have#like. literally why would i#(so i dont die. yes ik. if i have any signs of it perforating or bleeding i'll go str8 to the hospital but until then nah)#(and all the walk-in clinic will do is tell me theyre unequipped and send me to said ER. sadly ive been thru this many times)#(i am Professor Ulcer at this point. i have 2 constantly reoccuring once and have had abt 3 or 4 others. my body hates me.)#i feel like im being stabbed :-))))))) repeatedly :-)))))) except its with a fuckin hand mixer w knives. so they twist inside me. BAD TIMES#fuckin hell#ask to tag#(genuinely pls ask if im posting abt stuff that makes u uncomf i usually rly dont mind tagging it)#ducky unlucky#fuckin prime example of how i got that moniker
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.
#idk man like i've been in pretty rough shape lately but it's hard bc. as bad as it is#i don't want to die. i am not suicidal. like. we've been past that already the problem is that i DO fucking want to be alive yk#and to do that i have to burn all this fuckin energy being someone my parents don't hate and like#i wanna get out. i know it'll happen eventually. but it cannot fuckin come soon enough#i'm so tired of this!!i'm tired of sitting there crying in the bathroom i'm tired of lying in general like i am So Bad At Keeping Up A Fron#t and yet#here we are. here we are#and then i feel stupid for complaiing because not much is Actively Happening to me right now which like!!!! thats the point. it is not happ#ening because i'm slowly killing myself trying to not lwt it. i fuckin hate confrontation. don't wanna deal with it.#but. fuck. i really want to just tell em sometimes!!! i want to fucking explode and i know that my likelihood of being alive and well would#drastically decrease and my future would be fuckin OVER so i just have to make it a little longer.#i know i can do it. but will i. will i fuckin do it#how am i gonna not burn myself out yk!? like it does take massive amounts of energy#i don't even know. i want someone to tell me they love me and mean it. that shouldn't be too much to ask.#especially because this empty bullshit hurts just as much as someone saying they hate me. because they do!!!#that's the thing. they love me because i am not all the things they hate and threaten violence over.#which tbh. isn't me at all.#feels bad man idk#.woof.
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nothing gives me that kendall roy in secession kenergy quite like standing up to my mom via text then putting my phone on do not disturb because I fear confrontation
#i absolutely know that i'm a terrible person but like. she's had zero compassion for me my entire life#making me feel like i'm in high school again like gee mom i wonder why i stopped talking to you when all you ever ask me about is work#being so unbelievably picky but also a pushover fuckin sucks too like i can only tolerate this thing if it's this very specific way#but if you ask me to do this thing i hate and will hate forever then sure np np#when there very much is a problem. the problem is me#dw i've been in this depression anxiety spiral for the past two weeks it's fine#who cares about feelings when WORK amirite mom#you know what would make my anxiety so much better mom? being in a crowded public space for six hours a day where i am miserable#because high school did that shit to me and all i got was the unwavering feeling of wanting to kms#yeah let's just go back to that. why not mom#so all you can do is ask what about WORK why don't you WORK MORE and then you can MOVE OUT and be alone forever until you die at 30#because the isolation was so crushing but you just gotta WORK you gotta WORK that's all life is you gotta WORK#like. idk#i hate money. i just. and now i'm crying#i feel like i would only be happy in a freelance job really#freelance work from home. because that's what my college work was since i did it online. and it was so great#it made me love learning. and i want to do that#i can't go back to sitting in a room with people i hate for eight hours not even able to go on my phone i can't#i want to just do my work then leave. not sit there and wait#i can't
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Sometimes I wanna just sit down and like say "hey. We're making jokes here and I don't care if you think a band I like for fun is cringe and dumb bc they're white. Can you please tell me if you're making fun of them for being Cringe and White or if you're making fun of them for Being Racist. Thanks"
#Like. I guess I can Google (band) racism/controversy but also. Man. Could you fuckin start me off with a Direction.#Also All Racism Is Bad obviously but it would be nice to know if I'm gonna get hit with general stuff or targeted stuff like People Like Yo#Should Die Actually. And if it's like repeating racist stereotypes or talking about again How Much They Want To Kill People Of Color#And this doesn't cover like. Other Shit that can be nasty (ableism. Transphobia. Abuse. And others) and sometimes other ppl won't recognize#That as a controversy n stuff. Anyways I'd just love to know when people are cringe versus when they hate minorities. Yknow.#Mostly cause ppl don't really. Idk have a difference when they're like yeah this band is cringe vs yeah this band is racist when they're#Making fun of em idk. This is kinda about the smiths again lol#Also I hope the stereotypes/violence thing wasn't dismissive. The first one is fucking awful I just wanted to say like being warned of the#Severity is helpful for figuring out if I'm gonna go ''these people suck'' versus ''oh these ppl hate me and want me dead. I have to. Think#About that now I guess'' yknow? It's nice to know what I'm getting into learning abt them
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STRAIGHT TO VOICEMAIL 𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧
ִ ࣪𖤐 featuring. gojo satoru
ִ ࣪𖤐 warnings. cursing, mentions of death, gojo being sad and angry, 2006 gojo geto shoko.
note. for some reason i feel angsty today and i just saw this prompt on pin, just had to write it lol.
gojo has never loathed himself more than when he missed your call — your very last call.
"i could've fuckin' saved them, suguru." gojo blankly stared at the ceiling, his head thrown back onto the couch's rest; he was conflicted, he didn't know what to do. it was as if his motoric abilities had just stopped all of a sudden.
"satoru . . ."
"i could've fuckin' saved y/n." the white haired male mumbled out, his face scrunching in frustration.
gojo has dealt with death. a lot. the concept of death isn't a stranger to him anymore, not in this world — and to think that he'd actually be alive to experience deaths of his loved ones, thinking he could have done so much more made him hate himself.
god, gojo hated crying in front of other people. the aura in the room was palpable. nobody spoke —nobody dared to speak— and the only sound resounding was the vague ticking belonging to the clock hanging on the wall.
"i could've fuckin' saved them," the male repeated for the third time, his voice breaking that he had to inhale sharply to stop himself from breaking down right there.
gojo pushed himself up, placing his palms above his eyes, pressing down on them harshly; he lets out a loud sigh, "where the fuck did it all go wrong?"
"y/n was killed in action . . ." god, gojo wanted to rip his hair out when yaga called him in privately to say that. the male had lost count of how many times the statement repeated in his mind.
frankly, it's haunting.
out of all the news he could have received today, he never expected to hear your death lulling into his eardrums. so soon. so many things swirling in his mind all at once that even he, deemed the strongest, felt the sensation of losing. he felt weak.
"hi, 'toru — you're probably busy since my call went straight to voice mail, but 'm just saying . . . i love you, and i miss you. so much." there was a slight pause and your breathing shallowed into the mic, every single detail in your last moments were graved in that file, "'m not sure if . . . i'll be back as soon as i promised, but, i just want you to know that whatever happens. happens."
there was a slight static before your soft voice recoiled back into the mic, "i've never broken any promises to you, but this might be the very first time — and just know that i've never wanted to do this, i fucking hate myself for this," your voice broke slightly, "'m bleeding. a lot. but 'm trying to stop it just like how ieiri taught me. and i think 'm doing shit at it . . . i don't know what happened, and how it happened; but 'm not doing okay."
"i don't want to die, 'toru." you whispered into the mic, hoarse and weak — feeling the life drain out, "i really don't want to die . . . i have so many things i want to do with you, and suguru, and ieiri . . ." you murmur out, inhaling sharply but it all ended up with you coughing out in pain.
"remember that time i said i wanted to open a pet hotel . . ? i don't know if you think i was joking, but i was really serious about opening one," you began to mumble out, all in random directions — none of your words make any sense anymore, and you could barely keep yourself awake.
"i don't want to die, please," you pleaded, desperate for life. no matter what you did at this point — the light inside of you was almost out, and you can't do anything about it, "fuck. i hate this. so much, 'toru."
"i want to see you again. i miss you. i miss you so so much," you softly murmur out, " . . . i love you. i love you so much, satoru."
and everything ended right after. including you.
gojo has never loathed himself more than when he missed your call. your. very. last. call.
© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo#satoru#gojo angst#jujutsu kaisen angst#jjk angst#gojo satoru angst#gojo x reader#satoru x reader#angst
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You Know How There Are Those AU? Where SUPER Injured Ghosts Need To Retreat To Their Core?
No one seems to be USING that to its fullest potential! For SHENANIGANS! Because! Who?? Could POSSIBLY carry a Halfa's Core safely... but another Halfa?! A FULL ghost would KILL them. A human would be killed! What terribly precarious peril we find ourselves in! Oh nooooooo!
Well, no worry!
As much as Dani fuckin HATES this. That there is her brother. Her Template. Her Clone Daddy and Bestest of Bros. Like HECK she's gonna let him suffer for centuries and possibly DIE. She can take it, Doc! Pop him in! We'll go road tripping and-
What do you MEAN "No"?
Unstable??! Of course she's unstable! But the-.... Oh.
Turns OUT? Dani? Can hitch a ride in DANNY for Emergency Medical Aid... but NOT the other way around. Her body is too loosely held together. He would parasiticly consume her from within. Instead of feeding off her Ecto System like injured ghosts are supposed too, because she's a CLONE? AND an unstable one at that? His Core would just... see her body as free ectoplasm. All of it.
He'd eat her.
Which mean Frostbite can not and WILL NOT allow that.
But he's HURT! That big, off screen, cataclysmic Fight To Save Everybody From *cough cough mumbles* and settle us all in the DC universe, REALLY messed him up! What are we supposed to DO!? He can't STAY like this!!!
Enter-> My FAVORITE DCxDP Trash Ship! Vlad&Lex!!! *horrified screaming from the crowds, someone shouts "oh god, no! Please!"* Ha! There are no gods here, silly billys! Only two terrible, terrible HIGHLY Dramatic, self serving, incredibly damaged, gay peacocks. In Business Suits that cost more then your house is worth.
They're AWFUL~♡
And! Vlad was sent ahead to lay the ground work. Insure there would be no GIWs. Also because no one could stand him and his EXTENSIVE criminal record. But that's besides the point.
But!
You know what he found? A Business Nemesis. Who he routinely dates and/or Dramatically Hate Fu-*coughs* I mean, attempts a Corporate Take Over(tm) off. You know how it is. Business. He ALSO gets to make it no secret he's a "Meta", thanks to the INCOMPETENCE of one Jack Fenton, because that- *seething rant*
Yet? Dispite his STILL burning hatred for Jack? And his finally letting go of Maddie? You know what he STILL wants?
For Danny to be his Son.
*Gets a call from Frostbite*
...............soooooo........ what you're SAYING is..... I can be pregnant with Daniel.
You, Frostbite, need ME, Vladimir Masters, THE ONLY OTHER HALFA, to carry Daniel around inside my body, in what to all appearances resembles a pregnancy, in order to heal him. Because I am an Older And Stronger Halfa Upon Which He Relies.
:)
*instantly begins plotting*
Just? Imagine. Vlad is a FUCKIN LIAR. No one but him would even KNOW what was going on! He just? Rocks up one day, like? *falsely demure* "oh I couldn't POSSIBLY has any scotch, Lex! >:) I'm eating for Two~☆" and just? Deals the MAXIMUM amount of psychic damage he can.
Probably says it at their weekly, public, Veiled Threats Brunch.
It makes front page news. Luthor choked on his eggs. The paparazzi lost their SHIT. Vlad is doing the FULL Celebrity Mom Thing. The classes. The photo shoots. The Gucci sunglasses as he peruses high end strollers. All while HEAVILY suggesting that not only is "The Baby" Lex's.... but that he's going to withhold the child and deny Lex any access.
Danny isn't even aware. He's in a lovely lil medical coma. Dani is trying to find a good spot to plop down Amity. She just know Vlad is being... Vlad. Meh. He can handle it. Dan? He's not even IN the human realm and is not sure he wants to be.
But over in the LEAGUE? Everything's on fuckin FIRE.
Kon is losing his SHIT and Clark is thousand yard staring into the void. Kon's half brother is in the hands of a... Less Then Ideal... Meta that Batman is PRETTY sure is highly suspect. Might be a deliberate weapons experiment. Certainly is a hostage. And the DRAMA.
Lex has never been worse.
He might actually stab his...partner? Vlad. At the hospital. The SECOND the child is born. There are already long term kidnapping plans in the making. He's hiring lawyers. Getting VICIOUS. There have been talks with DEATHSTROKE. By BOTH OF THEM.
Clark wants to cry.
@hypewinter @ailithnight @nerdpoe @hdgnj @the-witchhunter @mutable-manifestation @babbling-babull
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