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natsunoomoi · 4 years

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Chinese Romance Novels in English

So by chance and obviously successful marketing, I’ve had a lot of web novel apps being advertised to me and out of boredom I downloaded one and got hooked real bad.

The first app I got I think I might delete because most of it seems like trash and was clearly like American wannabe writers. I kind of just read the first few chapters of one story that they happened to put into an advertised Facebook post and I just wanted to continue the story 1 or 2 chapters just to get off the cliffhanger, but the story itself actually isn’t that good and the character motivations seem kind of stupid. The main character also seems kind of like a Mary Sue where like she is just special by some huge coincidence of fate and it’s kind of annoying. Like the beginning part was alright, and then it took a sharp turn when the first guy she was into that rejected her decided for some stupid reason to challenge her new guy who accepted her and then when he claimed to not concede a fight to the death, he went absolutely apeshit and somehow it traveled into dark magic. Idek. Plus like...almost all the stories on that app for some reason have to do with wolf people and packs? Like it’s obviously some kind of trend inspired from Jacob and Twilight and I don’t even like that series. And in addition to that, it’s like on par with the famously former Twilight fanfiction 50 Shades where it has some really uncomfortable unhealthy depictions of BDSM relationships. Like it’s just kind of thrown in there for no reason...? Like whatever floats your boat, but you can totally write it in there in a more sensible way and not just like throw it in randomly. In that sense, maybe it’s actually worse than 50 Shades. Seriously a lot of the stories on there read like horribly written fanfiction by a 12 year old. I was 12 once and my stories then were no better because I had too many ideas and wanted them all in. That’s how much of a mess those stories are. This one I just mentioned is the better one. There’s another one I started reading that’s much worse that’s like a high school drama that I barely remember the story too, but I remember the person putting in a whole ton of One Direction lyrics, which I think is going to get the person and the app sued because lyrics are copyrighted and the writer shamelessly pointed out they are a Directioner and to unlock new chapters you need certain items that you can earn or buy and basically they’re definitely making money off of it.

But then similar to how I found this app, I found another app that had Chinese romance novels translated into English in the same way I found the previously mentioned app through a Facebook ad, which is cool cuz I don’t often get to read literally anything with main characters that are Chinese let alone Asian. Most of the Asian protagonist media I consume is from Japan and I just gave up on looking up anything in Chinese cuz I honestly didn’t know I could find any in English.

But damn, the quality of writing is rather good. The translations could use some work and consistency where sometimes the translator doesn’t know common English expressions or there’s grammatical mistakes in newer chapters or sometimes I think they’re speed translating too fast and accidentally mix up characters. But the story itself is top notch and suspenseful. I’ve been reading non-stop for the last week and a half and caught up and am awaiting new chapters. Sometimes there’s bits where character decisions are a little frustrating or like some of the plot twists are like again or like how come this person can’t catch a break, but I got invested in the story so quick.

There’s two in particular I’m enjoying right now. One is Irresistible Romance and the other is Thorny First Marriage on Bravonovel. It’s actually a bit pricey to charge for diamonds and pearls to continue the story, but I felt like it was worth it because I did want to read more and didn’t regret it. I actually started a third today just because I ran out of chapters in those two. Both are similar in that the male lead that the female protagonist is with or trying to get with is like a rich Chinese business man that is so well-known for their business acumen and power via their company that they can strike fear into the hearts of other people and companies. So there’s like some intrigue and like really fascinating maneuvers and media manipulation.

In Irresistible Romance, the main character is an actress that had a really shitty relationship with the loser President of her management company who was cheating on her with another actress and he had convinced his fiancee (the main character) to basically give up her life for him and help him to push the actress that he was ultimately having an affair with. The main character, Yan Wen, gives up the final straw when like he ditches her at the Marriage Registration Office for some lame excuse where he’s with his mistress and by chance the rich guy in this story shows up at the Registration Office and gets stood up by his own prospective fiancee although for him it was a random girl he picked from a pile just to satisfy his family getting on his case about not finding a wife. So basically because the main character grows a spine and decides fuck her fiance she’s not going to just take his bullshit, she asks the rich guy, Jiang Sui-an, if he’d mind marrying her. He totally accepts though and they get married on the spot. He seems at first to be kind of a cold-hearted jerk, but he’s actually super cool. Like he marries Yan Wen just to get his family off his back, but then after he does some research into his wife and finds her super interesting and as she begins her journey of trying to take back her life from her ex-fiancee and his stuck up bitch mistress, he like finds out and helps from the shadows and like realizes she’s actually super cool too. And then like through the whole process they actually fall for each other and are super sweet and have each other’s backs. They have a really beautiful and healthy relationship where they can each have their own separate lives and do their thing, but they get supported and help when needed.

It was so refreshing cuz like the rich CEO thing was like a huge fetish for sure especially after 50 Shades, but like a lot of people noted, that relationship was hella unhealthy. This story though, Sui-an lets Wen take her time fixing her career and life in her own way and like postpones announcing their marriage so she can set things right herself. He totally supports her space and her own decisions, but if he ever sees that she needs an extra boost or gets backed into a corner by some unexpected thing, he steps up and lends a hand. But ultimately he leaves everything up to her decision. And like on her end too, she’s totally a really good supportive wife and tries to make sure she doesn’t worry him too much and that he gets plenty of sleep and eats regularly, and she even tries to help him where she can with his work. They are so cute together. Along the way a lot of other people try to defame Wen or pull some shady entertainment world tactics, but she stays poised and lets the truth come out on its own or even does some defensive research and stuff. It’s so good.

Plus, writing-wise it’s really fascinating how they intertwine the online commentary tabloid headlines into the story so you can see different angles. And then when they write the antagonists’ sides they give you their internal dialog POV so you can understand the situation the best. The actual story and plot development is so good.

Then Thorny First Marriage, holy shit the intrigue. Plus for the most part, the main character is most like my personality only I’m not a former journalist. It’s just a lot of her reactions and sassy thoughts to things are really similar to me and how I feel like I would react if I was in her position. There’s a few times where she does things that I don’t think I would necessarily do or I would do things a bit more drastically, but so good and I identify with her. Writing-wise I don’t think it’s as good as Irresistible Romance because there’s been two times where they kind of forgot about something that they mentioned in an earlier chapter, so they have some issues keeping track of their plot twists, and there’s a few times where I’m reading like, “Why don’t you just tell them what happened and then they’d STFU?”

But yeah, this story starts out with the main character, Xia Zhi, waking up in the presidential suite of a hotel and not knowing how she got there and distinctly feeling like she was raped and finding some...remnants on the bed next to her. As the plot develops you find out that her asshole husband, who had never touched her himself for some reason and has the spine of jellyfish, sold her to some rich guy for 2 million bucks (she finds out later). What the actual hell? What kind of husband pimps his wife to another man?! And like she gets a pregnancy test later and somehow someone blabs to her mother-in-law and her mother-in-law totally doesn’t believe her and she knows that her son and her were never intimate, so she throws her out of the house. Then some dude that’s like some kind of secretary or assistant just comes by all stalker-like that appears to be from some rich guy that knows her and basically coerces her into going with them and going to some mystery safe house mansion. She’ll be cared for there by two staff, but she also tries to escape and find out who tf this guy is and if he’s the Dad. She still has a job and goes to work as a journalist, but gets assigned to interview some rich VP of a famous company. All the while she’s trying to get a hold of her asshole husband to find out what the hell happened to her that night she didn’t remember where she got super frickin’ drunk at his company party. This dick has been in hiding and trying to avoid her for some reason since that night and he finally calls back in the middle of her interview and because she’s freaking out about her unexplained pregnancy she unprofessionally takes the call. The rich VP, Sang Qi, ends up calling her boss and getting her fired, which I mean, obviously. That’s a thing where I probably wouldn’t have taken the call. One of the differentiating things between her and me. But how she reacts to being fired, yeah, that’s totally me. She runs into Sang Qi later at a rich people shopping mall shop and somehow manages to steal his phone and starts a plotline where she tries to use it as leverage to like get back at him and make a living for herself that also involves him being crafty and like kind of tricking her into some situations like confronting her ex-husband. And then like at some point she remembers a custom cufflink she remembered finding in the room she woke up in that one time and starts to wonder and suspect if maybe Sang Qi was the guy cuz he does have those kinds of things. And she like looks at the cufflink she has that she took from the room as evidence, but she has to do a direct comparison. He like uses GPS to find her mansion prison and tries to take back his phone and Zhi gets like even more suspicious that he is the guy cuz for some reason he knows how the balcony door at the place works even though it has a weird af lock, and they have witty banter and somehow he ends up staying over and she tries to sneak in his room at night to check out his cufflink but he catches her. And like hot damn, so much intrigue. After like a ton of frustration with trying to interrogate everyone around her about who the baby Daddy is she’s just like f it, I’m not going to be your baby incubator and tries to go get an abortion (I would’ve gone way sooner) and before they can start the procedure Sang Qi shows up and claims to be the Dad, and then afterward also takes care of her because she’s allergic to anesthetic. Since she knows who now they like stay together and stuff and she tries to question him about that night, but he actually has no memory of it either cuz he was super frickin’ drunk too. It’s just a lot of unanswered questions. And like since he’s supposedly the Dad, he tries to get closer to her, but she won’t let him really. There’s a lot of witty banter between them and like he even helps her out with her loser husband by getting him demoted. Over time they actually become fond of each other and like used to each other, and it’s really sweet. He actually is there for her and helps her on a number of occasions even though she doesn’t really trust him cuz of course he bought her right? But then little by little you see them really start to like each other and it seems like he might be more interested whereas Zhi is like more reserved because he’s her captor as far as she knows. But then just when you think that maybe they’ll get together, Qi disappears and then the process of him showing up you find out who the actual Dad is and a whole lot of family drama, and other drama where like you actually don’t know where Qi stands, and it like isn’t until like where I am that you find out he was actually upright the whole time. It’s so stressful but it’s so good.

There was a couple of times earlier one where there’s misunderstandings with other people, where I was like, dude, just tell the people your asshole husband sold you for money. I think they’d be more understanding of your situation if they knew.

And then like...for me, I like Qi and I came around to him after awhile, but like I suspected him and didn’t like him toward the beginning especially because he didn’t do or say anything that made him seem trustworthy. He never really lies except for one thing (about being the father), but also he like isn’t that truthful either, or rather, he doesn’t stop to actually explain himself properly which would have made Zhi not like freak out or mistrust him and would have made me not mistrust him. Like I shared a lot of Zhi’s fears because she was in an unfamiliar situation and being manipulated like a puppet by someone with money, and this guy claims to be the one that bought her like an object to be a baby incubator. I and the main character can’t respect that no matter how nice he is. If he admit he didn’t do it at the beginning it would have made all the difference. It’s a trek to find out who though. And at first even that guy sounds disgusting, but like where I am in the story maybe not? Like almost sympathetic.

The only one that I like really hate and disgusts me is her original husband. Like eww. He’s such a greedy asshole. And like later on you find out that actually he lied to her about how much he sold her for and it was actually more. What the actual fuck?! It wasn’t bad enough that you sold your wife for money, but you had to lie to her too about how much it was so you can hide the money from her? And for such a long frickin’ time he tried to coax her to come back and to not divorce him. What the actual hell? What kind of delusion is he living in?! But like also her original husband reminds me of someone I knew in real life when I was in uni. He was a friend of mine initially, but at some point he started making really uncomfortable jokes and it seemed like he liked me or something. I never viewed him that way, but we just hung out. And then at my uni because there was a huge rush to like try to figure out 2nd year housing, we arranged to do a co-ed roommate situation where like me and another girl and him and his friend would stay in apartment from our second year. To me that seemed normal cuz other friends of mine did that too because there’s only so many people you know and you have to try to snatch up and apply for apartments as soon as possible. There were long wait lines and I actually hadn’t thought about it until the last minute, so I didn’t see it as having much of a choice. But he started making cracks and fantasizing about neighbors and people misunderstanding and thinking we were married, which I didn’t find funny and how and why when there were other people we were living with too? It made me super uncomfortable and during the summer he was kind of like a stalker and tracking where I went so I just started avoiding him every chance I could. After awhile thinking about him made me feel physically ill. The next year after that my roommate decided to move out with two other girls into a different apartment (after unsuccessfully trying to make him leave). But the whole thing with how Zhi’s first husband was written totally reminded me of that guy. Especially with the lame excuses when confronted and stuff and not thinking and his unhealthy tie to his parents’ way of living.

That said, finding these stories are kind of like an unexpected comfort. I wish I could find someone as supportive as Sui-an or Qi. Especially when the men I’ve met in my life were just as bad as some of the other male characters or arguably worse. I’ve been bullied by the guys I fell for, I’ve liked some guys that were way too moody, I’ve had guys that liked me that were not creepy too, but I just wasn’t interested in them or the timing was just wrong, I’ve given up someone I really cared for because a mutual friend of ours crossed a line and then posthumously went kind of crazy from the grief, and I’ve met guys that were really fucking stupid and didn’t know how to act appropriately in a professional situation and actually sexually harassed and retaliated against me. I’m so tired and almost 4 years into living in Japan, I’m starting to realize that because of that last one, I think I gave up on my life because of trauma. Just hurt too many times, so don’t even think about love anymore cuz why bother? It took awhile for me to even be able to become a functioning human being again after the PTSD of harassment. I was really bad and freaking out because the guy that did it was so frickin’ stupid that he like wasn’t actually responsible enough to know the things he shouldn’t do and it was freaking me the hell out that he just didn’t know when he crossed a line. So I ran away to another country and tried to rebuild some semblance of a life for myself. Now my home country is a goddamn mess and I’d be in a worse position to go home, but at the same time, although my heart has healed enough to the point that I can function as a human. I am not at all motivated to look for anyone or let myself care for someone ever again. When I was younger I had so many dreams and really wanted a family. But now I am sad to say I have resigned myself to believing that that will probably never happen because I am apparently plagued by horrible people. I haven’t met horrible people since I’ve been in Japan, but I also don’t go out and talk to anyone other than co-workers and students because I’m busy and in my free time I want to introvert. It’d be kind of nice if I was lucky and had a kind of random chance like Yan Wen cuz like, I just can’t and don’t want to put up with low quality people.

That said, I was talking with my boss and co-worker the other day and we were discussing how China’s population problem with the bachelor society so there’s a lot of men but less available women to be their wife, so I was kind of wondering if that was also kind of how come so many modern day Chinese romance novels seem to involve a rich CEO. I suppose in China right now the chance that you could marry one is greater than anywhere else in the world because of the population problem, so maybe they’re trying to promote moving there and marrying them. LOL I’d be kind of suspicious of whether or not they’d be able to be like actually good husbands for real, but I suppose there probably is some sense of desperation.

And then because I ran out of chapters to read for today because I have to wait for them to translate more, I started another one about a Bossy Ghost Husband? It’s kind of creepy at the beginning, but the ghost husband thing has been something I was kind of curious about because you can marry the dead in China. But like for real I also wondered if youkai really are real or not and if you could unknowingly marry a youkai or something too, so basically it’s right up my alley too. And then also because my life is garbage I was like seriously thinking and wondering if it would actually be so bad to be single to the people who know you around you, but married actually to a ghost and have a ghost husband to go home to? Like would that actually be bad? I suppose in that same vein, it’s not much different from WoL having a secret relationship with Emet-Selch, but yeah.

Anyway, all of this gave me a lot to think about.

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seenashwrite · 5 years

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The Fall ‘18/Winter ‘19 Edition of…

It’s a better-late-than-never situation, but it’s finally here!

*~* New to The Nail? *~*

The Nail isn’t about perfection. It isn’t about award-level contenders. It isn’t for highlighting certain genres of fics or specific ships. It’s about seeing real effort and hard work radiate off of the screen - the sole focus is quality. Character dimension. Writing with clever readers in mind. Well-built worlds. Killer starts and clutch endings. Crazy crisp dialogue. Incredibly tight plotting. More shows, less tells. Big emotion.

Find past editions HERE. Find what factors are considered when constructing this rec list, and learn how to get your recommendations to me HERE. Find info on the structure of these rec posts HERE, with answers to FAQs such as “Why did someone make up a title for my piece?”, and more.

>> The Basics On What’s Below <<

- All from the world of SPN (unless otherwise noted, i.e. cross-overs), across all genres; these are organized by length for the most part, so you’ll need to click thru to see if it is a theme of your preference; I aim to not have too much that’s of the same genre/length in a given edition, and limit the times a writer can appear on a given list (if they had more that fit the bill, I’ll chuck ‘em to next edition’s list); when applicable, unique projects, original stories, and any anecdotes/personal essays/family stories/etc. are near the end.

- You’ll see icons throughout…

If it has NSFW elements / walks an NSFW line - ⚠️

If it features / blatantly alludes to a specific ship - 🚢

If it has less than 100 notes (at time of this post) - 📌

And that last item is very important.

- A main priority of The Nail is to have at least 50% of these one-and-done SPN stories (so, drabbles and one-shots) be those which have less than 100 notes (give or take a few self-reblogs by the writer, and not counting mine) in each posting, and for this edition, out of 36, these comprise 26 so the goal was met!

Highly encourage you to at minimum hit the heart, ideally reblogging along with a note of feedback if you enjoyed. To do my part, I’ll be queuing these low-note fics one per day after this edition is published.

- Reblog of this rec list by “big blogs” (let’s say 1K followers and up) is especially appreciated, and not for my sake; it’s to get these wonderful writers with low note fics as much exposure as possible.

- Writers, make sure you scroll - you may be on here more than once!

- “Notes from Nash" at the very bottom of the post.

- For your mobile convenience, here’s The Nail Master Post of Editions

- And finally, shameless plugs....

See Nash Write: Master List

You Totally Made That Up podcast - @youtotallymadethatup

Note: Just a line or two excerpt to paint a little picture - no specific feedback on these drabbles because each writer nailed it in the entirety - all are poignant, well-structured, thoughtful, and they did it all in a limited amount of words. Well done, all of you.

181 words

The Wishes 📌 - @sixtysevenandwhiskey

It’s a lot of nothing, until nothing is all there is.

182 words

Stars 📌 - @covered-byroses

She loved looking at the stars.

223 words

Storytelling 📌 - @always-keep-writing

He shouldn’t be surprised that it ends up being a story.

230 words

A Long Forty Years - @babybluecas

Sometimes, he’d wish he was so much older.

352 words

Control 📌 - @idreamofhazel

If only Dean knew the other, more biting things he holds under his tongue.

370 words

His Hair 📌 🚢 - @gabrielfallstonight

He often wondered if, by spending as much time on Earth as he did, he was growing almost human.

427 words

Topper - @alleiradayne

Coffee. He just needed a cup. Or four. Okay, maybe the whole pot.

483 words

Tedium 📌 - @smi727

This situation was something Michael simply could not abide.

555 words

Kids These Days 📌 - @revwinchester

A little behind-the-scenes interlude wherein Dean has an interaction with some kids in town. In medias res, OCs developed in a short amount of space, thoughtful/nice message without being preachy.

560 words

Four Months Expired (But Still Good) 📌 🚢 - @bendingsignpost

A delightful scene based on a premise that could've gone saccharine but stays the just right amount of sweet and humorous.

(I cannot tag this lovely, if someone would be so kind as to try to do so in the comments, it would be appreciated!)

570 words

Black 📌 - @sculptorofbeginningslibrary

An introspective look at Dean in the time between waking up with his demonized soul and when he left the bunker; doesn't merely recap what we know; nice take on the physical changes; excellent characterization.

633 words

Smoked - @ameliacareful

A snicker-worthy tale of what should be an ordinary shopping trip, but as we know nothing can ever be simple for the brothers; well-structured, solid characterization, concise descriptions that put you right there with them.

(I cannot tag this lovely, if someone would be so kind as to try to do so in the comments, it would be appreciated!)

664 words

Last Night - @atwistoffate

A brief interaction between you and Dean that is a perfect balance of snarky and cute, and (thank Chuck) Dean is portrayed realistically, and I personally salute the writer for not uttering a single Y/N or sweetheart (it can be done, folks). I'd also be remiss not to highlight this beauty: “You know what? I don’t even care,” Dean says, caring deeply.

714 words

Stay - @there-must-be-a-lock

Absolutely beautiful moment between you and Sam that doesn't get weighed down by over-dramatic pining, in part thanks to a sandwich. In medias res; descriptions that paint the picture without diving too deep; lovely from beginning to end.

812 words

Carolina 📌 - @atc74

A first-person, introspective tale of an interaction Dean has with a stranger. In medias res; sets the stage from the opening paragraph, putting you right into Dean's shoes; well-developed OC in short amount of time; great closing lines.

841 words

Strange Gifts 📌 - @lastactiontricia

Michael gives you the "gift" of knowing your potential fates. In medias res; great structure/descriptions that convey the mood without being belabored; clutch open-ended ending.

1.1K words

Syruped and Feathered 📌 - @mrswhozeewhatsis

A snicker-worthy on-the-hunt tale where you and the Winchesters get in a... well... a sticky situation. Ahem. Sorry, couldn't resist. Oh, and there's a surprise guest star that'll make you grin. In medias res, nice flow, creative use of prompts.

1.2K words

Don't Panic 📌 - @koedeza

Beautifully written, somber tale about what eventually happens in the lives of hunters. In medias res, excellent structure/flow, fantastic characterization, clutch ending. Keep an eye out for this writer - they are consistently solid and do not disappoint.

1.3K words

'Til It All Falls Apart 📌 - @lipstickandwhiskey

Angst done right in this story about what Dean might've gone through after Michael was cast out. Good flow, no laborious explanations of what we already know, reasonable actions/reactions from all.

1.4K words

Bite Me, BitFit 📌 - @shy-violet-soul

Exactly what you think from the title - a funny story about Dean's battle with healthy living. In medias res, nice structure, great characterization, several killer lines.

1.4K words

Eggshells 📌 - @hunenka

A coda to Nightmare Logic, this tackles Dean's internal processing of life as he now knows it, Sam in charge and what feels like a million people in his home. Beautifully written, Dean is as accurate as it gets, excellent flow, plausible scenario.

1.7K words

Told You So - @there-must-be-a-lock

How to do hot and sultry without smut - read and learn. This is a story about what should have been just an ordinary post-hunt night back at the bunker, when it turned to something more. Great opening paragraph, easy flow, trifecta of snarky-sweet-sexy.

1.8K words

Brother 📌 - @sixtysevenandwhiskey

An exquisite look - to use the writer's words - at Dean over the years, through Sam's eyes. Excellent structure/verbiage, no unneeded repetition of things we already know, good use of song inspo, plausible within canon, feels genuine throughout.

1.8K words

The Lie 📌 - @sophisticated-angel

Stunning tale (and add this to the pile of "Why the hell doesn't this have more notes?!" stories) about what happens to those who are left behind after a loved one dies - but as always in the Winchester world, nothing can ever be routine. In medias res, creative plotline, moving and heart-grabbing that leaves you with both a sense of rightness and a sense of unease.

2.9K words

The Unexpected Guest - @crispychrissy

Per the writer's summary - "A day of researching takes a turn when you see something from your past that leads to some interesting discoveries." But, wait - this is so much more. Pay attention as you read, because the writer has left you clues along the way (starting with the title), and it's done quite deftly. In addition - nice blending of humor and drama, time taken to research the creature featured clearly evident, clutch ending.

3K words

Easier To Be Me 📌 - @alleiradayne

A Sam + Reader story labelled "floof" by the writer, but it's sweet without bending saccharine; in medias res; great opening/closing lines.

[Nominated by @atc74 who said - “So I have read a couple things of hers, this I read a while ago, but it deserves some love, because it is just that good. Hope you like it This was so wonderful. Well written and beautiful."]

3.1K words

Teeth 📌 - @lastactiontricia

Do you want to read something spooky that’s based on a true story, with a fantastic plot that has roots in a true story, which features well-developed characterization/accuracy in characterization, and is - in case I didn’t mention it - based on a true story?!

Read this. Find you a cozy corner, grab the drink of your choice whether it’s bourbon or hot chocolate, wrap up in a blanket, and Read. The. Story. It is unique, it is well-written, quality top to bottom, and it’ll give you the feels, tips to toes. Stop wasting your time on the same ol’, same ol’.

READ THE STORY

(Part of a collection, all are fantastic, so see also: Halloween Horror SPN One Shots Masterlist)

3.3K words

Lay Me Down 📌 - @stusbunker

A solid case fic here that balances itself with some cheekiness thrown in amongst the drama (and a bonus for me, not a "Y/N" in sight - it can be done, folks). In medias res, moves at a quick clip, great line here: "The spell spread quickly, like spilled water on a tabletop..."

4.9K words

Shadow's Edge 📌 - @saenalife

A story of what happened one night when a routine retrieval of an item goes sideways. In medias res, excellent opening line/paragraph that perfectly sets the scene/mood (I mean - "Dark seems like too shallow a word for this. It goes beyond the absence of light - more like the light has never existed here at all..." - hello), creative plot, great structure (specifically: flashback/forward done right), and bonus kudos for switching things up with a feature not seen with regularity, that of a gender neutral lead.

5.6K words

The Wonders of Modern Technology ⚠️ - @littlegreenplasticsoldier

If you aren’t familiar with Greenie, she’s another one of those rare writers ‘round these parts who gives us consistently solid stories with a unique style that’s all her own, and this one is no exception, a humorous tale of a piece of equipment that doesn’t exactly malfunction, but we’ll just say there’s, ah, user error [wink].

5.7K words

Like Ocean in the Desert 📌⚠️ - @saenalife

Borrowing the writer's summary - "Baby needs some work before Dean can get back on the road. He went to the salvage yard for parts, but what he found was a human connection." In medias res, well-developed OC, nice premise, great structure/flow.

[Nominated by @littlegreenplasticsoldier who said - "Here’s a prime example of notes misaligning with quality. Pfft. Criminal. This is the third time I’ve read this."]

6.4K words

The First Bite 📌 - @shy-violet-soul

A story from the way-back-when, and as for feedback, I’ll let the curator take it away....

[Nom'd by @mrswhozeewhatsis who said - "Confession: I love Weechesters. So, this fic was already up my alley from word one. Add in pie mentioned just in the author’s note, and I was already a happy camper! Imagine my surprise when I was sniffling halfway through because wee!Dean was just killing me! The OCs are very well fleshed out, without being distracting, and the whole story was just so well-written I finished it just wanting to hug everyone. The grammar and other technical stuff was at least flawless enough that I didn’t notice it, and the whole story just unfolded in front of me like a cootie-catcher. I think I’m in love, and I might go read it again, even though I should be writing. *swoon*"]

6.8K words

Gutted - @idreamofhazel

A case fic with some Dean + Reader sweet-n'-sultry on top. Nice opening paragraph that sets the tone, solid characterization, very creative plot/creature featured, excellent structure.

6.9K words

About Dean's Dreams ⚠️ - @fanforfanatic

This writer has yet to disappoint - and this story is damn near pristine from start to finish. It’s an actual, on god, Dean-in-character dive into the woman of his dreams. Sound fluffy or angsty? Nope. You’re wrong. It isn’t either. What it is, is just right. I’m not telling you any more - when you next have time to sit and read and really absorb an introspective Dean piece, make this your first choice.

Say hello to a new (-ish!) writer, @salt-n-burn-em-all !

Doors 📌

You will not believe this is just her 2nd SPN fanfic - captivating and moving, and even if you're swiping a tear away, I think you'll find yourself with a smile at the last three words.

East of Nowhere ⚠️ - @thecleverdame

You and Sam are strangers trapped in a desolate mountain town where you live alone, isolated from the outside world, for five years.

Very creative scenario that takes you on an intimate journey and - most importantly - has quite the satisfying reveal.

How You and I Will Be - @katehuntington

When a hellhound case in the mountains goes sideways, Dean and you find yourselves trapped in a small cabin, miles from civilization. Rescue is on its way, but will it be in time?

Opening paragraph sets the scene perfectly, you'll find yourself there immediately, and it's a plausible scenario of a hunt gone wrong. (We do love our case fics here at The Nail!)

If This Is A Dream 🚢 - @wendibird

Sam receives a tip about a restless spirit haunting a particular patch of woods in South Carolina - one who has asked for him by name. He must now deal with the thought of putting to rest someone he once cared for, but will things go that simply?

Phenomenal opening line/paragraph that puts you in Sam's headspace from the jump, and boy howdy can we all empathize with him, and it's a plausible scenario, one I personally haven't seen tackled til this.

Men of Cold Cases - @smi727

Sam had uncovered hundreds upon hundreds of cases the Men of Letters had never closed, [and the] idea was to investigate what those stodgy old nerds never got around to. Given the cases were at least 60 years old, the chances that any were still active were slim to none. They should all be milk runs…

Fantastic concept, completely original, and well-written to boot. Bonus? The writer has based the plots on actual cold cases and mysteries, and provides you links to the stories behind the story so you can learn more.

The Ellison Lane Legacy - @sixtysevenandwhiskey

Sam finds a case. You’re reminded of a past you want to forget.

Cheers for a well-rounded original female character who is tough and vulnerable all at once. Interesting and creative story that's heavy, yes, but thanks to skilled writing the flow keeps it moving vs. getting mired down.

Wrath 📌 - @waywardjoy

Shakespeare gets a run for his money here with a small fic inspired by some of his words. Beautifully composed, from the title to the usage of the lines, flows like a dream, evokes big emotion, and puts you right there in the action, breathtaking from start to finish.

The Runaway Vessel 📌 - @butiaintgonnaloveem

A creepy re-working of a popular children's story that will stay with you after you read it. Killer first line, clutch ending, and a detailed, stunning piece of artwork to boot from @lostmymuseagain, what a match made in heaven. This one dug deep, and definitely read like a cautionary fairytale about fate and choices that grandparents would tell/read to the children on a dark night around the fire, give ‘em a bit of a chill in spite of it.

Ring-A-Ling - @winchester-writes & @littlegreenplasticsoldier & @mrswhozeewhatsis

To think, it all started with an innocent post about a tiny bell - get ready to laugh.

Ten Years Gone - @cinnamonanddean

This is a short-and-sweet, most worthy exception to a The Nail rule that no RPF will be on the list, wherein Jensen reflects upon his time on the show.

Carriers - @violetwolfraven

Daddy Loves To Be Murdered - @gabesnonnie

Slay Ride - @bendingsignpost

The Awakening - @rmeisel

The Chosen One - @copperbadge

The Night - @later0varies

Bedtime Stories & How Chad Got His Name - @lostmymuseagain (also see the artwork related to the Chad story here)

The Author - @thebibliosphere

Notes from Nash

The document with my little summaries and personalized feedback for each of these got eaten - basically, I had to re-do the list and time’s been scarce, so forgive me for the lateness.

Also, there was a good handful of stories that disappeared due to what I presume was the purge/people deleting or losing their blogs. I did make effort to check AO3 but I’m afraid some stellar work has been lost for good.

There were a lot of repeat writers and folks I’m friendly with in this edition, more than I typically feature - I strive to highlight mostly lesser known writers and, as noted, mostly fics with <100 notes - but they earned it (and I even chucked a few more from some of these peeps into the folder for the next edition, that’s how hard they’re rockin’ it). That’s why it’s so important y’all let me know about the unsung writers and their undiscovered jewels - submit the story links and your reviews to me (links to your reblogs with your comments is perfectly fine) any ol’ time.

That’s it! What’re you waiting for??? Get to reading!

#The Nail #Supernatural Fanfiction #SPN Fanfic #and more #Nailed It!#Quality Writing #Must Reads #Fic Recs #Queueby Dooby Doo #Dad's on a blog post and #he hasn't been queued in a few days

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scriptaed · 6 years

Text

BTS Reaction #73

As you stand there before your mirror, shooting death glares at your bare body and cursing yourself for your own “flaws,” the boys each have a reaction of their own...

Jin:

Optimistic. The boy has always been optimistic and sometimes painfully so - you know that from first hand experience as their significant other; but that doesn’t change the fact that catching you glaring at the mirror had broken the giddy smile of his, even if it was only for a split second. You don’t hear him at first, his footsteps pattering across the floor and his calls to you interrupted by the sight of you - and not because you were naked, well, maybe - but the momentary pause followed by a nervous laugh somehow manages to garner your attention.

“Ah!” he chimes, joining you in the mirror and discarding his own top before checking himself out. “I see you’ve learned from the best. How long are you gonna stare at yourself?”

“Jin, I’m not ‘learning’ from you. I don’t like how I look. At all.”

Apparently, his joke wasn’t amusing to you, so he switches to plan B.

“I know, I know,” he laughs, sighing into silence and staring at the reflection of you both. “I really don’t think you look bad at all, but as long as you’re happy and healthy, that’s what’s important, right?”

He doesn’t completely understand your worries, because to him, you look fine, and you totally know that; for the days and weeks following shortly after, you begin to catch his eyes ogling at you in awe, as if wondering “why would perfection itself call itself imperfection? How could Mr. Worldwide be wrong?”

And that, in itself, is enough to warm your heart - even if it’s just the tiniest bit.

Yoongi:

“Who cares about the haters? Fuck them.”

You hear him say it all the time, and to be truthful, you expected nothing less if you had someday confronted him about your struggles with self-love. To him, criticism is thrown at him every which way, but to you, your own source of criticism comes from yourself. Would he even understand? Would he think you’re silly and belittle you?

Alas, your concerns prove to be futile to the point that you’re overwhelmed with guilt when you seat yourself by the desk of his studio.

“Were you looking in the mirror again?” he utters without a single glance at you.

“Huh?” the question hits you by surprise.

“You know you’re absolutely beautiful, right? Like, to the point that I wish I could show you,” he reaches for a pile of papers where poorly drawn figures of what probably should resemble you lie crumpled. “In fact, I did try, but I’m still practicing on my art skills. I’d get Jungkook to draw it for me, but I don’t want him looking at you.”

He never really brings it up again, but you know it’s constantly on his mind judging by his frequent comments of admiration; and while you know the overly frequent compliments are only temporary, you also know this moment of insecurity might someday fade as well.

Hoseok:

Being one of the most publicly affectionate and openly loud people you know, the silence that befalls the small pout on his lips when he notices you standing before the mirror, still and sullen, is a rare occurrence for you as Hoseok’s partner. He’s genuinely upset - and not because you disliked your body, but because he felt as if he had let you down. Did he not love you enough? Did he not express his adoration for you to the point that even you would believe his words? He knows it isn’t entirely his fault, but like the good man he is, guilt weighs his chest heavy.

Not wanting you to worry, Hoseok quickly masks his frown with a pressed smile. He takes long wide strides to meet you in the bathroom, wrapping his arms over your body until all you can see is him. Rocking side to side, the warmth of his skin and the hums of his bee-like voice soothes you once again.

“Y/N...” he drawls, singing,” are you going to take a shower now? Do you want me to warm up the water for you?”

Little by little, day by day, and inch by inch, the reflection of your bare body becomes emptier without the embrace of him. It isn’t quite perfect yet now, but you know your minutes in the mirror will diminish into the past, especially with the help of your overly affectionate boy... and quite overly dramatic.

His sunshades lower gradually, as if in slo-mo, revealing the narrowed eyes astounded by the sight before him that happens to be you. “Is that... is that a goddess of beauty I see?”

Namjoon:

Your best friend now boyfriend has always been wondering on how to bring it up to you. If he had caught you in the bathroom while you two were dating, then it would have been easy to sit you down for a talk - in fact, he considered it his responsibility to help you through this journey as your good friend and significant other... but the thing is, he didn’t. You two were still very much friends when he had accidentally peered into the large crack between the bathroom door and its door frame.

He didn’t want to seem like a complete pervert - not that he was being one and not that you don’t already know - but now that he’s noticed your increased frequency of visits to the bathroom, it just isn’t in him to turn a blind eye to his beloved.

“Y/N, babe,” he calls for you from the kitchen, “you do know that as active participants in society, we tend to develop these standards for ourselves whether we like it or not. Attractiveness changes based on trends, one minute it’s petite, the next minute it’s curves, you really can’t have everything, because that’s what the media wants. Not everyone can be pretty, so not everything is permanent...”

“Actually,” you pause, “I guess you do have a point and maybe it helps a little; but I still feel like shit.”

“Yes, but if you’re eating healthy and you’re happy, being with me of course, then why should it matter? You’re beautiful anyways. You know what would make you feel better?” you watch with widening eyes as he brings out a pan full of burnt brownies. “Please... babe... help me eat this.”

And as endearing as it is to watch him try his hand at baking for every time you glared at the mirror, the burnt pieces of disaster begin to err your stomach.

Jimin:

If there’s one person whom you would expect to understand you the most, it would be Jimin; and the thing is, you know that. You’ve tried to hide it countless times, but the eyes like that of an eagle always caught your own wary gaze from the corner of your room in the reflection of your mirror.

He had always wanted to say something. He knows how you feel, truly, he does. Like many others, you feel unattractive and believe there is always a way to change yourself to become a “better” you - or at least a “better you” according to society... but how could he, someone who still catches himself uttering phrases he might not mean within the shadows of his past in front of his significant other who’s going through the same exact struggles as he was... or is?

Heart heavy with sorrow and sympathy, the twisted pulsations of his guts compels him to speak from heart to heart.

“Hey, Y/N,” he calls out to you from the bathroom, “don’t you think I need to go on a diet lately?”

“What?!” you almost yell. “No! You’re fine, I have no idea why you would say that-”

-his head pokes out from behind the door with a giddy smile akin to that of an angel. “But that’s how I feel about you. Please be healthy,” the cheesy words elicit a sheepish giggle from his lips, “I know what I say might not change your mind, but I hope knowing that someone, like me, also has the same thoughts as you, regardless of size. I hope that’s enough for you to rest in ease.”

Taehyung:

His grandma had once told him she liked him better chubby and it’s something he won’t ever forget; so when he sees you staring at the mirror, scorning at the curves and edges and cursing to yourself about being too “fat” or too “skinny,” all he could remember are the days when he, himself, had to undergo extreme diets to fit the ideals of an idol.

Aside from dispelling the worries of his beloved relative and saving himself from sleepless nights on an empty stomach, he finally found the third most valuable asset of his grandmother’s words - now, it’s time to bestow profound endearment upon his own loved ones.

“Y/N,” he casually coos as he pulls out a chair to join you at the dining table, handing you a bowl full of the very things you dared not to touch, “are you skipping dinner again? Why aren’t you eating lately?”

“I can’t eat too much at night or my cheeks get puffy.”

“But you’re cute when you’re chubby! At least I’ll know if you’re eating well,” his voice becomes so muffled by his chomping and chugging of food stuffed in his puffed cheeks that you can’t help but smile, “and no matter how small or big or medium you are, I’ll join right beside you. That way, we can still go on water rides together!”

Jungkook:

Your best friend, Jungkook, he’s always been the awkward kind of guy... at least when it comes to confrontation; but there you stand, frowning and turning and pinching at every inch and angle of your body deemed unfit to your liking. From his point of view, he doesn’t understand. You look fine in his eyes, in fact, he hadn’t noticed - or at least he never actively noticed - anything of such sorts until he accidentally caught you in the bathroom from the living room.

Why is she so disgruntled? Why can’t she see herself the way I see her? Only then does it hit him that he had watched so many others, including his fellow members, struggle with body image - and it only occurs to him then: maybe others are just made differently, and not in the way of one’s shape or look, but in their confidence and perspective.

Not everyone is as confident as he is - or at least as he’s notorious for - because sometimes even he questions the initial motives behind his fitness journey.

“...Y/N,” he hesitates to break the silence when you plop into the couch with a heavy sigh, “I just want you to know, as your best friend, that you look perfect just the way you are.”

“Great, thanks, but like you said Jungkook, you’re my best friend, not my boyfriend. Others might care.”

“But why would they care? And why should they care? Why should you care what they think?” he stretches his arm over the back of the couch to sling over your shoulders. “If you really want to do something about it, let’s start working out together, yeah? Eat healthily instead of your ineffective diets and then we’ll start loving our bodies the way they are after we learn to take care of ourselves. Together, okay?”

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deansmixtape · 6 years

Text

The Twelve Days of Wincestmas

They had decided to forgo their typical gifts this year on Christmas Eve, instead, challenging each other to the 12 days of Christmas challenge. Each day one would gift the other, using the song’s lyrics as inspiration. They were each thoroughly amused to see what the other could come up with.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: A juicy fresh pear pie

Sam had used the last of his precious Harry & David pears, and real butter in the crust. It was flaky, tart and perfect – tender crisp and sweet like apple with a rich salted caramel glaze. Watching Dean take the first mouthful and make a moan of bliss was more than enough satisfaction. But being that he was still a little brother at heart, he waited for the reaction as he turned on the Partridge Family’s Christmas album.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Two chocolate turtles and Dove shampoo

Not exactly healthy chocolates, but the nuts in it earned him a genuine smile from his brother. Dean knew he’d hit a home run when Sam opened the Peach Blast shampoo and closed his eyes though. Sammy loved those fruity, floral, fancy shampoos and Dean figured adding in a week’s worth of scalp massages to their joint shower sessions would help.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Three French Coq au Vin dinners

Well, three Cornish hens anyway. Sam substituted bacon for pancetta because Dean, and used a Burgundy wine paired with fresh cremini mushrooms and an aged Brandy pulled from the library. It wasn’t Julia Child’s – more like Ina Garten and some liberties, but even he enjoyed the meal. Judging by the lack of leftovers and an adoring smile from his brother, they both had.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Four tweets (‘calling birds’)

Oh yeah, Dean felt like he’d totally cheated. Well, it was within the spirit of the challenge, so it fully counted. He set up an account for Sam, then sent out four distinct tweets in Sammy’s honor, @’ing the accounts of True Crime All the Time, National Public Radio, Planet Organic and We Rate Dogs. He had created it under the Men of Letters name, so Sam could continue to use it for research and networking, but those initial tweets had Sam grinning, dimples fully on display.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Five golden onion rings

The onions were supposed to be home-grown from Sam’s patch of garden, however, they hadn’t bloomed quite as Sam had hoped for. He settled for store bought instead, and set about making home-made onion rings for Dean. The standard buttermilk bath was spiced up with a bit of cayenne and a splash of Tabasco, but the real kick came with the dipping sauce where he used horseradish and nutmeg for a savory taste experience. While Dean grilled burgers outside, Sam made the rings, piling them hot and fresh on a platter. Dean’s thumbs up while stuffing his mouth had Sam chuckling as he set about to start another batch.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Six goosedown filled pillows (and comforters)

Dean had counted and double counted. Sammy had six – SIX – pillows on his bed alone. Which was damn peculiar since they tended to both use Dean’s bed with his four pillows. Occasionally Sam would sleep alone – when he was sick (and still Dean came to comfort him), when they were fighting (it happened on occasion) and when he just needed alone time (which Dean took to mean was secret code for no sex tonight.) He had planned on getting them each a complete new comforter and pillow set, of the finest goosedown he could find. They were going to be sleeping in soft, sumptuous heaven, no matter where Sammy’s precious, tousled head touched down.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Seven origami swans

Sam spent the better part of the morning learning how to make the swans, cursing under his breath at his long fingers folding tiny bits of paper this way and that until he had perfected seven delicate swans. He then spray painted them all with a clear coat of acrylic spray paint to make them waterproof. After a hearty lunch of tomato rice soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, Sam suggested a relaxing bath for them both before they spent an afternoon of watching Game of Thrones. He ran an extra hot tub, added some silly bubble bath, and set the swans to float. When Dean joined him, Sam was already naked, welcoming him with open arms for a steamy, sexy bath.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Eight bottles of chocolate milk

Dean had thought long and hard about including some of their previous holiday traditions into the challenge to preserve them, so he looked to the local gas station for day eight. He’d purchased eight bottles of the official drink of their childhood on the road, chocolate Yoo-hoo. They’d learned to love the stuff as it wouldn’t spoil with lack of refrigeration, and it was easy to grab and go without much fuss for two kids who loved chocolate milk. Dean set the bottles to chill in the fridge, and during their movie marathon of Lord of the Rings, broke them out between DVDs to enjoy with some licorice and popcorn.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Nine porn DVDs with dancing ladies

Sam’s cheeks were flushed the brightest pink he thought he could ever imagine. He’d walked into the adult toy store, intent on purchasing the first nine porn DVDs that included dancing of some form, then walking out. Easy peasy. However he found himself being propositioned by the cashier during the slowest checkout imaginable, caught off-guard and completely tongue tied. When he mentioned the movies were for his brother (ok in retrospect maybe not the best answer at the time), the guy had just looked him up and down, smiled the filthiest depraved smile and winked, telling him a threesome with brothers was even hotter. Not that Sam wouldn’t be into it if Dean were, but without Dean by his side, he just stuttered and clumsily made his way out the door.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Ten copies of Lord of the Flies (in various media)

It was a stretch – and a bit excessive, but Dean thought Sam would appreciate the effort and ingenuity given it was one of his top five favorite books. He’d managed to track down Lord of the Flies in several different languages for Sam to read and brush up on his more rusty language skills; Georgian, Basque and Catalan. He found three versions of the film on DVD, and a copy of the stage adaptation. There was a CD of music from the innovative ballet created based on the book as well as a BBC airing of a dramatization broadcast, plus one audiobook. Sam’s stunned (and impressed) face was exactly what Dean had been angling for. Truth be told, the lyrics for day ten were a stumper, but a flash of brilliance had saved the day.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Eleven piping hot cups of coffee

Sam had no qualms about purchasing the very pricey Breville Oracle Touch Espresso Machine. The touch screen allowed for choosing from espresso, americano, latte, cappuccino or flat white, and adjusted the coffee strength, milk temperature, and texture automatically based on the drink choice. Of course, it also made plain ordinary coffee as it ground, dosed and tamped the beans fresh. It was an indulgence to be sure, but they had so little in the way of worldly goods that they treasured and he knew Dean would soon worship at the altar of delicious home brewed goodness in short order. Sam had also signed them up for a year’s worth of deliveries from Bean Box, and he was sure they’d find new favorite roasts in no time.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Twelve ice cream drumsticks

There was no way he was buying Sam a set of drums. So therefore no need for personalized drumsticks. And while the idea of a Caribbean vacation to listen to steel drums play sounded terrific, he knew they’d never leave for such a trip. Plus, flying was a no go, if he had his druthers. Dean was close to picking up a bucket of KFC all drumsticks and calling it good when he laughed and thought better of it. After dinner that night, he pulled out the box of Nestle Drumsticks and surprised Sam with a cone. Sweet licks of ice cream turned naughty quickly, as drips left Sammy sticky and Dean decided to clean him up in the best possible way.

After the twelve days challenge, neither brother would concede defeat – or claim victory. Instead they celebrated each other’s creativity and thoughtfulness with a twelve hour kink marathon in bed. They most definitely did not watch anything on TV and the new pillows and comforter got shoved to the floor during one of their more athletic sessions.

(I’ve enjoyed being your anon - I hope you’ve enjoyed your gifts! <3 sammichgirl )

****

Claps excitedly, oh it was you, sammichgirl! Thank you so much for being my wincestmas anon, I enjoyed everything very very much. This 12 days of Winchester Creativity was impressive, I love all the ideas they came up with for each other.

#wincestmas #12 days of wincest #thanks wincestmasanon!#This Was Awesome!#submission

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alijonesvermontsculpture · 7 years

Text

Initial Thoughts/Direction

With this being my first post, I wanted to kind of draft out where exactly my thoughts/ideas have started. The theme of the class rings a lot of bells with my ongoing, overall concept I started to realize and develop over this past year, and I really would love to see how my concept/work would evolve/grow/change with the structure of the class, the location, as well as the feedback from everyone in or helping with the class. I just took my artist’s statement from my concepts class, which was the most recent one I’ve written, and adapted it a bit (mainly taking out all of instances in which I reference myself in third person and rambling a bit more haha) so that Corin and whoever else could get an overall view of my overall concept as of current and what kind of caused it to come about, and then I’ll get into a bit more after the statement bit. Adapted artist’s statement as follows:

Early (suppressed) traumatic childhood experiences, growing up in a family with shifting dynamics of freedom and control, gratitude and guilt, giving and taking, etc, and with a sibling with a major disability in which I felt more like a caretaker than a younger sister, led to many physiological effects unknowingly piling up and affecting myself, as well as the relationships with myself and those around me. The negative effects were never dealt with in a healthy manner and never even fully realized until about a year or two ago, upon which the suppressed/repressed impacts and negative causes/effects in correlation with just life in general caused me to reach a breaking point, as is typical with anyone who lets things pile up. Realizing my need for help, I reached out to a therapist. Having an objective professional dissect not only things that I brought up and saw as the issues that needed to be worked through, but also things I didn’t even realize as problematic, prompted me to shift my thoughts from confusion, self-blame, unhealthy perspective, negative bias, pain, and helpless ignorance, etc. etc. to a place of awareness, understanding, acceptance, and inquiry. I began my own research into psychology, interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships and communication, the mind body connection, etc., exploring both the causes of things and the effects that would develop throughout life, whether aware or not. During this time, I also found practicing forms of meditation and mindfulness to be incredibly insightful as well as grounding and therapeutic. These two fields of interests began to intermingle both within my research and the practices I began developing.

I have always felt the need for creative expression and art, whether in appreciation of it or in the drive to produce. Upon entering art school and the photo department and furthering my education in this area, I began to develop a more cynical view of art and photography. Her discontent with both art and photography, mainly in reference to modern day, especially in conjunction with the internet, social media, the overall age of the information overload, and the hypocrisy present in art and some of the art communities matched my own intrapersonal disassociation well, creating a situation that led to a lot of unproductive frustration and blocks. Aware of this occurrence both in myself and also in others around me, I craved something that was genuine, and that people could have an experience with. This is when I began producing work that was not simply expressive of negative emotions, unproductively and boringly self centered, sarcastic, or imitative, but work that began to question things, and create the opportunities for deeper exploration and awareness. Keen on investigating and growing via my work, I desired to express for myself, but in a way that simultaneously allowed for viewers or an audience to have their own experience as well, with my work simply being more so the catalyst or surrogate. My inquiries into the research briefly aforementioned and my fluctuating practice with mediation and mindfulness began infiltrating my work. Rather than trying to fight against the blocks, I chose to begin to give in, to start to try and work with them in acceptance rather than against them. Topics of finding home within oneself and ones body, giving and receiving compassion, emotions such as shame and guilt, perceptions versus reality, love versus control, causes and effects, finding truths within the chaos, repressed memories, disconnecting from the ego and the brain to listen to the body in a sense of better understanding and controlling the brain, mindfulness, presence, empathy via movement, etc. began developing for me, all overlapping and interlocking. In my desire to foster a sense of awareness and inquiry, as well as connection and communication about these things and the experiences for the audiences, my work took on a more performative aspect. I feel as though performance work, whether as a step in the process or as the piece itself, is important for my work, currently. I feels as though live performance offers the opportunity for the audience to have palpable, visceral reactions and experiences (something said that can happen to anyone for just about any piece of “real” art, and yet not so easily attainable or fully grasped), and hopes that viewers will be able to begin to gain understanding and awareness about their own body, self, and self in relation to others. I believe that by either enacting audience members into simple physical experiences and sensations, and even by watching others perform such things, offers the opportunity to spark kinetic empathy and to bring people into their bodies more, something that is so vital and true and whole and informative/helpful and yet so easily completely forgotten or not truly understood or trusted. I am also interested in photography (obviously), especially in book form, videos, and sculptural work more subtly expressing these sentiments and desires. These mediums in which my work has also been presented are also meant to be either highly symbolic or act more like endurance/experiential pieces, working more to evoke a palpable experience or psychological/physiological reaction rather than presenting it. I hope to figure out how my work will grow and exist, especially with the current era of information overload in which we live and the internet in mind, and who my work is meant to address.

(End)

From my perspective, I feel as though this ongoing body of ideas and work is relevant to the class and the theme of the class, and I would like some feedback as to whether or not others agree or disagree. So as of recent, I’ve been keeping that in mind for this class, and am open to continuing, pushing, adapting, or completely tossing it for this. I’ve also got a couple of other things that kind of relate that I’ve been thinking of as well for my ideas/direction- I’m just going to make a few bullet points for things, ideas, trains of thought I’ve had, etc., trying to kind of break these things down and organize, and all thoughts I’ve had for this class, and will attach more in-depth thoughts/discussion on certain ideas as well as research and readings (I like to do a lot of brainstorming and research, it’s one of my steps for working, and am hoping to get most of it out of the way before leaving):

- obviously exploring more into meditation practices and mindfulness; when you are able to notice a thought, it is not a thought

- body movement, body relation (intra and interpersonal), empathy, kinesthetic empathy, kinesthetic empathy in terms for the exquisite corpse structure and as working in a collaborative group; nature, tactile, five senses

- the conscious, subconscious, unconscious, super-conscious (???) mind, Jung, Frued, etc etc etc

- dreams, fears- I’ve got a lot of dreams that have been reoccurring since childhood, I’ve been reading up on all of the fun dream interpretations there are, to see what people say my dreams mean, the symbolism behind archetypes in dreams, and what your psyche can actually be informing you of via dreams, etc. Plus, it works well with the discussion of people taking their dreams to correlate it to a number to gamble on something, to try and gain more success and to beat the massive amount of chance, using their dreams/mind as a way of gaining insight and stability in the sense to try and have control over something in which they have none (the lottery)- why do people attempt to take their personal interpretations and data and apply it to something like the lottery, which they have no control over and is not affected by our own personal psyches and the number translations, and seem to be just displacing the inquiry; fears- fears are already known to be informative of some things in the mind that people haven’t dealt with, whether it was an event or how someone has been raised/treated, etc.; in a sense of being able to gain awareness and perspective, rather than being victim to constantly experiencing it, and being in the dark about it; I also have phobias and weirdly intense dislikes for things like claustrophobia or intense dislikes of the cartoon movie Alice in Wonderland (I would sit as a kid and watch it and either be afraid, physically/emotionally distressed from it, or cry, a lot of early mornings on weekends by myself before anyone else had gotten up, and I would watch it repeatedly despite those reactions, and I have no clue why, which I associate on the same psychological level as fear, intense dislike of super open, sunny spaces, especially if warm outside (think more large parking lots or flat dry, but still kind of green, mainly suburban areas rather than total rural areas or desert), etc.

- what was mentioned in the theme description about intellect and intuition

- the unknown, chance, what chance is, if chance even truly exists (I think chance exists in the manner of working for “fate”)

- spaces- (I like in the theme description “where the unconscious, chance, and intention overlap”) voids, (outer)SPACE, space (vacuum), space (area, room), measurement of proximity or distance, how much room or availability, more conceptual like distance between people, gaps, silence or lack of silence, time/duration, place for storing, existing, being etc. Both the exploration and concept of “space” as well as the space I’ll be having my piece in, what informs what or what informs the other, how to be in my space, my body in a space, my body as a space, how to be in and work with the space I will be creating my piece ins well as how to learn from it and be informed by it, the space of the other artists working around me and their spaces, etc.; loneliness of space (?), empty? not empty? infinite? changing? set? what is the “empty” space between and surrounding all of the matter on our planet, in outer space, what’s holding everything “up”- gravity, more, invisible, nonexistent, floating/suspended, there, etc.? We have come to have a limited idea on what space could be so sometimes hard to grasp exactly what outerspace/the universe etc are all about, we are blinded and roped into our reality created from the gravity of earth and living on land- things that are not exactly bound to our same laws, even on earth- water, things in water, in a sense

- synesthesia//experiences with it///exercises to almost bring forth sensations close to synesthesia, etc.

- mathematics, logic, not chance exactly, golden ratios, 3.14, etc.

- energy energy energy energy

- the ocean (always reoccurring in my work- I can say why I think it does, but that would most likely be me attempting to interpret or just projecting)

- 5% awarenwess, 95% unconscious mind; power of smell; sensing energy, energy in a room; communicating with bodies unconsciously, body language before language, body language and what it can tell us, how does that information make us feel

- conscious choice, line of consciousness, subconscious choice, being aware/having power or reacting to it, conscious language, subconscious mind taking things literally, nature of language, language in ways other than spoken, nature (even a plant, communicating without thoughts or words), communication between the artists, and the audience, being in nature for the show, language of artistic expression and different types of mediums, no good or bad word exactly, more the intention behind it, the meaning, how they make you feel

- expression, suppression, repression

- touch- helps a person or your brain to focus on certain part of the body; when meditating, sometimes find it difficult to be aware of part of the body or feel them, a lot of the time my brain just tries to imagine them, whether in appearance, existence, sensation, space, etc.

- photography- either telling visual story or taking photos of what we see, capturing moments or images, why are we so drawn to taking photos and the existence of photographs; some people better at noticing or photographing “perfect symbols” or “golden ratios” etc., - jump to but kind of relates- visual explanations of relativity (time is relative time is relative time is relative) and string theory/gravity esp. in correlation to gravity/mass/planets/planets correlation to each other and placement illustrates the golden ratio shape- ex: mass/gravity etc created how far planets would go and where, created the golden ratio shape, seen in everything---nothing is chance in my opinion, everything is meant to be, but it’s also completely based off of energy and energy can change- an interesting paradox kind of-----photography- has everything been photographed? yes? no? all about relativity and perspective? like phi (3.14)- infinite? never done creating or selling, always evolving, always learning, repeating yet differently, things can change, what can what we photograph show us about ourselves? the world around us? exercises in stretching photography muscles- what do photographs have to show us now? what can we learn or discover from the overload of imitations and repeats? experiences? audience taking photos of art or artists, artists taking photos of audience, why? relation to camera? etc. can get into world of internet/social media, but don’t necessarily see it as relevant, unless for documentation or experimentation in a sense, adapting, using as medium, in nature, etc. evolution of photography from social media and then psychology behind creating it and then caused from it? digital photography? film? alternative processes photography? video? no photography/video?

- zones that are cluttered and yet empty, virtual or real---nature, space, myself, work, audience, etc. creating space or coming into and existing in space; real self, persona, virtual reality persona and space, in nature, etc. creating sets/backdrops/spaces or ?

- plants meditation and healing and plants, grounding, color healing, filtering air; reoccurrence of things in nature’ symbolic meaning behind things in nature, archetypes

- experience, pre-conceived, set in a way to be created spontaneity, problem solving, performing or letting audience be performers

That’s a long list/spout of rambling that about sums up what I have been thinking about for this class- not quite sure how exactly it’ll manifest, but that’s something that I’ve been thinking about as well and that I know will be more concrete once I think on it all more, continue my research, get feedback, go through artistic exercises (learned a lot of good ones in my synesthesia class), do more material research, and am actually in the space up there and working with everyone. I just wrote this long post mainly because it was something Corin had wanted back for the end of May (whoops) and to get it all from my thoughts/notebook onto here for organization and feedback/direction. I’ll be posting a lot more like I said after this. Sorry for the incredibly long post to whoever has to read this or if it seems like complete bullshit or just too scattered or last minute, but I have discovered I just seem to have to go through this process, thanks!! :D

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type2diabetestreatments-blog · 7 years

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Ask D'Mine: How Marriage and Cinnamon Affect Diabetes

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Ask D'Mine: How Marriage and Cinnamon Affect Diabetes

Hello, Curious PWD Friends. Doesn't it just seem like everything affects your diabetes? Yup — and today we're addressing two of them, marital relationships and the much-hyped idea that cinnamon can control your blood sugars.

Welcome to this latest edition of our weekly diabetes advice column, Ask D'Mine, hosted by veteran type 1, diabetes author and community educator Wil Dubois.

Need help navigating life with diabetes? Email us at [email protected]

Phyllis from Vermont, type 2, asks: How can stress in a marriage affect blood sugars?

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: As it turns out, in two distinct and very different ways. Now, for background, for many years I had assumed that any kind of stress messes up blood sugars for all of us. That's because I was a believer in the Caveman Effect (not to be confused with a Caveman Low). The Caveman Effect (or Cavewoman Effect) goes like this: in the old days if you were just wandering around the Pleistocene minding your own businesses, and a saber tooth tiger jumped out of the reeds, you'd scream, throw your spear into the air, and run for your frickin' life. To do that, your adrenal glands helpfully filled your blood stream with a sugary hormone called adrenaline to give you an extra little boost of speed.

If you are a caveperson running for your life this is no problem. You'll run off the sugar.

Now fast-forward 40,000 years. Instead of being in a real cave, you're in your husband's man-cave. And instead of a saber tooth tiger, your adrenaline comes from too many bills, too little money, and too little healthy conversation. You can't run away from that kind of stress. Oh, and you're not a healthy cavewoman either. You're a person with diabetes.

So this unusable adrenaline was thought to pile up and increase blood sugar across the board. The fancy word for it is "hormonal mediation," but I still prefer Caveman Effect.

However, a recent conversation with our best brain-and-diabetes guy, Dr. William Polonsky, set me straight. Dr. P tells me that "physical stress, like undergoing surgery, reliably raises blood sugars. And, for some people, emotional or mental stress seems to raise blood sugars, but not for everyone. For other people, mental stress seems to have no effect, or even lowers blood sugars!"

Wow. Who knew? Fighting with your spouse is good medication for some people with diabetes! I feel a book coming on...

Dr. P goes on to explain the conundrum of stress and diabetes: "stress does seem to reliably worsen long-term blood glucose control for most people, but not due to hormonal mediation. Instead, it is just behavior. 'I am stressed, so I don't give my diabetes the close attention it deserves,' and presto — A1C's rise. Also, it may only be certain kinds of stress and the actual timing of when the stress occurs that determines whether and how it affects blood sugars."

So the Caveman Effect still comes into play with some people some of the time, but not all people all of the time. And it looks like we need a new label for the long-term effects of stress on diabetes, which I'm going to label the Eff-it Effect. (Sorry, Dr. P).

So we now know that marriage stress can affect diabetes in two ways. The Caveman Effect might (or might not) raise your blood sugar at the time of stress, like during an argument; and the Eff-it Effect will almost certainly raise your blood sugar over time because you've taken your eye off the ball.

I guess knowing the two likely causes is a help. But neither are easily fixed. If your blood sugars are affected by the Eff-it Effect ya' just gotta slap yourself across the face and get focused on the basics of diabetes control again. If you're one of those people who suffers from the Caveman Effect, then you need to develop some new tricks to reduce your immediate stress when it hits during those 'charged' moments.

Maybe aroma therapy candles...? Maybe a massage? Or maybe you need to pick up your spear and work off some energy at the gym. Hey, it worked for our ancestors.

Brenda from Colorado, type 2, asks: Have you done any research on cinnamon? They have it in so many diabetic products and herbals nowadays. Does it really work?

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: Cinnamon alternately generates a lot of excitement and a lot of disappointment among PWDs. When I first read that cinnamon might be the cure for diabetes, the first thing I did was run down to the nearest Cinnabon to get some of this new medicine.

That didn't work out so well for me.

One of the problems with the whole cinnamon thing is that the original study was done on six political prisoners in a maximum security lockup in Shi Lanka. OK, OK, OK. I exaggerate. But the truth is almost as bad. The first published cinnamon study back in 2003 was done in Pakistan on 60 type 2s, only half of which took the cinnamon, and the study ran just 40 days and 40 nights. No kidding. And the researchers demonstrated a respectable glucose drop. Or did they? More on that in a minute. But this was the face that launched a thousand ships. Or at least a thousand over-the-counter diabetes "supplements" with cinnamon in them.

Over the next several years following this first study, a number of other small (sometimes smaller!) studies looked at cinnamon with varying results — mainly unable to duplicate the original results.

Now, I need to interject my thoughts on clinical trials here. Well, more correctly, on the SIZE of clinical trials. I get suspicious when I read results from a small pool of participants, as very small trials are subject to errors because one or two people who have unusual reactions can throw the average results way off. I don't think it's a good idea to make sweeping statements about everyone who has diabetes if you only look at 20 of us. (Read the DiabetesMine Research Primer here for more insights on that.)

But back to cinnamon. As I said, most of the trails were very small, a fact that the mainstream media ignored or glossed over. Some were badly designed. Oh, right, and some were on rats.

Finally, in 2008, William Baker and his colleagues killed cinnamon once and for all in a meta-analysis (the same statistical torpedo that sunk Avandia) of all the assorted cinnamon trials, finding that cinnamon had only one scientifically demonstrable effect: it makes cinnamon rolls taste better. It doesn't improve A1C, it doesn't improve fasting blood glucose, and it doesn't improve lipids in either type 1s or type 2s—all claims of previous "research."

Now science aside, all you have to do is look at the comments sections of any blog posts on the cinnamon issue and you'll find lots of folks who would bet the farm on cinnamon, and who sing its praises. So what to make of that?

Well some might be "plants" from the folks making all those cinnamon supplements, but there's a whole class of people who don't want to take their medicine, but rather want to do things "naturally." (I find this silly, as most medicines are natural in the first place. Metformin is just French Lilac, aspirin is willow bark, and statins are red rice yeast.) But I think sometimes these folks have a problem with perspective. It can be hard to separate the wheat from the chaff. Sometimes when you start something new to help your diabetes, you do other things at the same time that you aren't even aware of. Maybe, in addition to taking cinnamon they're now more physically active. Or maybe they're eating a little better. Or maybe they lost some weight. Or maybe they're just kidding themselves.

When it comes to blood sugar numbers, I find that even my smartest, most focused patients are horrible historians. Just yesterday, one of my type 1s was telling me how he was "always" having lows around 3am, over the last few weeks. Alarmed, I started looking at his pump's basal rates. But then I looked at his CGM data. In his case, "always" turned out to be twice. In two weeks. Still, those two times made a big impression. In a similar fashion, sometimes the data we want to see makes a bigger impression than it deserves.

I know when I download my CGM it paints a worse picture on my control than I expect. Huh? I could'a sworn I was "flat-lining" my blood sugar...

A number of my type 2 patients have tried cinnamon. Some felt it didn't help. Some thought it helped a little. Some felt it made a huge difference in their diabetes control. But I couldn't see any change at all when I studied their meter downloads.

One woman I work with thought that cinnamon was doing such a great job she stopped all her prescription meds in favor of cinnamon.

Her A1C tripled.

Of course, for the most part, cinnamon is harmless. So if you want to try it, go for it. Just don't stop your other meds. Study your meter data carefully. Try to be honest with yourself on other changes in your life.

Oh...

And remember that I said the cinnamon was harmless for the most part? One last warning: while cinnamon can't be scientifically shown to lower blood sugar, it has been proven to be effective as a mild blood thinner. So if you are on Coumadin (a.k.a. Warfarin) or a similar medication for heart problems, be alert for easy bruising, etc.

The cinnamon can super-size the effects of your blood thinner.

So if you want to play with cinnamon, that's OK with me. Just play it smart. Play it safe. Keep your mind clear and focused on the facts, and remember you mileage may vary from 30 Pakistani PWDs who tried cinnamon back in 2003.

Disclaimer: This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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