#because tlou2 doesn't happen
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What's currently fucking me up (it's always TLOU):
At the end of ep3, Joel and Ellie drive away listening to Linda Ronstadt. But the PART of this SONG: an analysis
We start with:
"And I think it's gonna hurt me for a long, long time" - a pretty clear reference to Sarah's death for Joel
"Wait for the day/you'll go away" -playing while they have their sweet moment bonding over Linda; obviously a reference to Joel's greatest fear, but also probably foreshadowing TLOU2 (KILL ME)
"Knowing that you warned me" (Joel looks at Ellie) "of the price I'd have to pay" -we all know Joel is terrified of losing Ellie like he lost Sarah. I think this line alone informs how much he fights his love for Ellie for the next few episodes
"And life's full of flaws/ who knows the cause" - fucked up world, all the stuff they have to do to survive, I feel like this line works as a really gracious acceptance of what Joel's done and does and where we end up at the end of the season (Joel Miller did nothing wrong)
"Living in the memory of a love that never was" - this always confused me because this is where we cut back to Bill and Frank's window. It COULD be a reference to their lost years, but I don't think that's it, because they had a good long time together and their love definitely WAS. I think it's more likely meant to refer to Joel and Sarah's lost years (and again, maybe a VICIOUS foreshadowing of Joel and Ellie's lost future days) (FUCK everything)
"Cause I've done everything I know/ to try and change your mind/ and I think I'm gonna love you for a long, long time" - I think this one is Ellie. She has been and continues to spend the next couple episodes trying to bond with Joel. She does change his mind (it never actually needed changing)
And they love each other for a long, long time.
#forever actually#because tlou2 doesn't happen#K THX BYE#this is truly fucking me up rn#obviously this song wasn't written for this show but like wasn't it????#help me im dying#the last of us#tlou#tlou2 spoilers#tlou spoilers#joel miller#ellie williams
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...and then what happened? pt. 2
Synopsis: ellie helps you get ready for another date, but you unexpectedly come back to her apartment a bit earlier than planned...
AN: i have no words for this, just enjoy. i got a little too carried away. hope i did it justice. (i don't know how to write smut all that well lol), also can we agree that ellie definitely whines and whimpers in bed? thanks
WC: 6.6k (jesus)
Warnings: mdni!!! smut!!!, pining, kissing, oral (r!receiving), masturbation, finger sucking, lowk loser!ellie who still gets bitches even if she doesn't do anything, lowk perv!ellie, fem!reader, ellie being sooo desperate for u she cant help herself, seriously the girl is pathetic, no use of Y/N or readers appearance
Part 1: HERE
DAILY CLICK FOR PALESTINE
WHY YOU SHOULDN'T BUY TLOU2
READ THIS
Faded red and purple.
Those are the colors Ellie is looking at currently while examining her neck in the mirror. She's looking at the hickey closely, touching and feeling it with her fingers, the colors of it not as vibrant as they were that Saturday night.
The night that Ellie remembers, oh so well. The night that has been on replay in her mind for the past week and a half, haunting her every second of the day. It plays like a movie, over and over, until she runs out of new details to remark. She flips the images of you like a book, mesmerized by the way your body felt on hers. She remembers your skin like she remembers a painting, so soft, so warm, so inviting.
She wishes for nothing more than to touch you like that again, but she can't.
Because you're going on another date tonight.
Ellie drops her hand from her neck and shuts her eyes, head dropping low. She looks at her hands, gripping the white marble of her bathroom sink until her own knuckles turned the same color.
Why can't she get over it, like she does with other girls? Why does it have to be so hard with you?
She knew she was fucked from the moment her eyes landed on you a year and some months ago, while attending Dinas party. The way you strutted in, all smiles and pearly whites, extending your pretty hand to greet hers. Dina had warned Ellie not to mess with you, for Ellie had 'ruined' a handful of friendships between Dina and her friends who couldn't help but fall for the brunette girl, even if it wasn't her intention.
Ellie at the time, scoffed at this, treating it like a joke, but she soon saw how unbelievably difficult it was to not look at you that way.
She swears that she tried so hard not to hang around you, avoiding you like the plague. Every time Dina or Jesse would invite her to come out she would make up some type of excuse that would rid her of her friends.
"Ellieee, pleaseee! We haven't seen you in so long! Don't be a party pooper or I'll come there and take your stash and smoke it all." Dina pleaded with a whiny voice on the phone for the 10th what time.
"Oh my god, okay, who's coming?" Ellie rolled her eyes at this, anticipating Dina's answer.
"Yes, Jesus, finally you're getting your ass out of that bed! Uh, it's gonna be me, Jesse, Tyler..." she continued on until Ellie heard your name fall from Dinas lips. Her breath hitched in her throat as her heart danced in her chest.
"D, wait! I'm sorry! I just remembered, I have a physics assignment for tomorrow. I... I swear I'll make it up to you! Also, I do other shit than lay in b-" Ellie had to think quick and uni assignments always worked for these type of situations.
"I can't believe you. You owe me big time, Williams! I better have three blunts rolled by tomorrow! Be ready, bitch." and with that Dina hung up the call while Ellie sighed out a shaky breath of relief.
That's how it always went back then, they would call and Ellie would say no, she can't, she's busy.
But she couldn't keep at it for too long, you were becoming incredibly close with Dina and Jesse and Ellie knew she had to face you eventually. So, she started going out, and every time, her heart would flutter when she saw you. Her excuses were long gone and gradually, she tried to make time to see you as much as possible. You were, of course, just as eager to see her, finding her incredibly cool and funny, not to mention good looking.
Pretty soon you were inseparable, and nowadays Ellie finds herself waiting for your texts about your weekly sleepovers or a game of pool at your local bar.
Ellie steps away from her sink, wiping her hands on her grey sweatpants. Her gaze once again falls on her puzzled expression. She tries not to think about your date tonight, but so far she's been failing miserably.
Fuck my life, she thinks.
She gets out of the bathroom and heads towards her couch, wanting nothing more than to put on a dinosaur movie and smoke away her feelings. She plops down on the cushions and searches for the missing TV remote. Out of the corner of her eye, Ellie sees her phone on the coffee table light up and your name and picture flash on the cracked screen. She nervously reaches over and clears her throat before answering the call.
"Uhm, yeah? What's up?" Ellie cringes at the sound of her raspy voice, these being the first words she had spoken today.
"Ellie! Where are you? I've called you, like, 5 times already. Are you home? I need help getting ready and my roommate brought her boyfriend over and, ugh, I just can't deal with that. Can I come over?" you ramble, obviously in a rush since it was already 5 PM and your date started at 8.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm home. Come over!" Ellie said rather enthusiastically, much to her dismay. She shuts her eyes in embarrassment.
"Great! You're a life saver, love you! Be there in 15." you say happily and end the call.
Love you!
The words you uttered so nonchalantly hung in the air while Ellie tried not to take them to heart. She puts the phone back on the table and looks around.
Fuck, she had to clean up the place at least.
Ellie frantically got up and started moving things around, putting them back in their designated places. Food delivery bags, sweets and cigarette butts were all over the place. When she was satisfied, she figured she should change into something... better smelling than she had on currently. Ellie hadn't left the house in, at least, 2 days, not having the energy to interact with people. She spent them catching up on homework and watching movies. She tried to tell herself that it wasn't because of your newfound crush, but that meant she would be lying to herself.
Ellie threw the shirt she had on into the hamper and put on a fresh band T. She changed her sweats into a pair of grey shorts and put on some citrusy deodorant, maybe even spraying some into the living room to freshen it up. She quickly brushed her teeth and messed with her hair.
By the time she was done, you were already knocking on her door. Ellie looked at herself in the mirror one last time before deciding that she looked decent enough and opening the door for you to come in.
As always, you give her a big, warm smile and throw your hands around her neck, giving her a hug. It took Ellie a second to respond but she returns your hug with a light squeeze.
"Hey, you." she rasped into your hair, inhaling your coconut shampoo.
"Hey, Els! Hope you don't mind me being here. You know how Alex gets when her boyfriend comes around, I just can't." you say while rolling your eyes. You kick off your shoes and scan the room, heading towards Ellies couch and putting down your big bag.
"Yeah, I get it. Like when Dina and Jesse can't keep their hands off each other. Yuck." Ellie laughs, moving to sit down next to you.
"Exactly!" you start shuffling through your blue duffle, pulling out some clothes and a big, glittery makeup bag. "Is it okay if I use your bathroom? I need to do my makeup perfectly and the lighting is so good there." you ask Ellie with pleading eyes and a smirk, which she simply couldn't say no to.
"Of course, you don't even have to ask." Ellie throws you a lazy smile.
"Thank you!" you tell her excitedly, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. You get up with all of your stuff and stride towards the bathroom.
Ellie feels her cheeks getting warmer and redder. She gets up and follows you, "So, uh, are you excited to see, uh... her?" she utters with a nervous laugh, already forgetting your dates name even if you reminded her a million times. She leans on the doorframe of the bathroom and crosses her muscly arms.
"Yeah, I am excited to see 'her'." you look at Ellie through the mirror and put up quotations marks, like you're mocking her obvious bad memory with names. She rolls her eyes. "Sorry I forgot her name, jeez."
I don't care what her name is, she wants to say.
"It's Sophia, for the 100th time. We're going out to this sushi place, I heard its really good! I also heard that its really fancy, so I really have to up my game." you laugh, putting your hair up and examining your face.
Ellies face contorts at this and she can't help but let out a scoff, "I thought you hated sushi? Fish in general? What the hell are you gonna eat?" she asks you with furrowed brows.
"I mean, yeah, its not my favorite but I can try it. Maybe this time it'll be good!" you try to sound enthousiastic, but Ellie was right, you've always hated fish and everyone knew that.
"Why is she taking you there if you can't eat anything on the menu? Did she even ask you what you like? Remember when we went to Jesses place and you tried that fried fish he cooked and threw up?" Ellie starts questioning you, her tone dripping with jealousy. She looks at your face in the mirror and manages to catch your worried eyes, just for a flash.
"Ellie, its fine. She insisted we go there, so I didn't complain. I'll try some and if I don't like it, I'll just get a drink. That's all. Now, let me do my makeup in peace, dummy!" you usher her out, getting slightly annoyed because she was right, but you still wanted to make it work with this girl so you didn't say anything when she suggested you go to this restaurant.
Ellie simply can't believe you're going out with someone who doesn't even know you that well. You're pretty vocal about your likes and dislikes, so either this Sophia isn't listening to you or she doesn't care.
The fuck does she have that I don't? I would treat you better.
With an annoyance in her step Ellie, once again, lays down on her coffee colored sofa and opens up TikTok, mindlessly scrolling while waiting for you to finish getting ready. After a while of watching dog videos and replying to Joel's unreadable texts and his wrong use emojis, Ellie decides that rolling a blunt for when you leave is a great idea. She definitely need to get her mind off of things.
After what seemed like an hour, you come out of the bathroom. Your hips sway as the black bodycon dress you picked hugs you in all the right places, your hair frames your face like its a masterpiece and the makeup you did enhances your features perfectly. Your hands are behind your back as you make your way to the living room.
"Els, need your help with something." you say shyly, while turning your rear side to the girl.
She looks up from the table and her eyes land on your bare back. Your black, lacy bra sticking out from underneath the dress. Her gaze widens and her breath stops for a second. She wonders if you have matching panties on.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
"Can't reach the zipper. Will you zip me up?" you giggle while trying to zip up the dress, but fail miserably instead.
Ellie swallows the lump that formed in her throat and gets up from the couch. "Y-yeah, of course." She says in a hushed voice.
You relax your shoulders as her own tense up. Her long fingers move towards the zipper that sits on the small of your back. One of her hands finds its way to the black zipper, while the other rests on your upper arm. Carefully, she picks up the small bead and starts moving it up you back.
You feel Ellies breath fan against you, her body heat radiating off of her. She's so close that she could see every damn freckle and baby hair on your neck, and that's precisely where she would plant a kiss right now if she could. The dip of your shoulders and collarbones were driving her crazy. She tried to drag the drop as slow as she could, just so she could stare at your curves longer.
One of the straps of your dress slip down, and Ellie picks it up and places it back. Her fingers graze your trap and it feels like fire. She sneakily caresses the spot before returning to her task.
"There, all, uh, all done." Ellie smooths down the dress slowly, picking off any lint that stuck to the soft fabric. She rests her hands on your hips, just for a second. Just to see what it feels like. You turn around with a smile and thank her. Ellie lets go of you and scratches her ear while her eyes linger on your body.
Don't be a creep, Ellie. Don't look at her chest. Don't.
You put your stuff back into the bag your brought over and take out the black open-toed heels you bought last week. Sitting down on Ellies sofa, you strap them on and get up to see how they feel. Ellies eyes never leave you.
"So, what do ya think? I look okay?" you question Ellie, swaying over to the body length mirror that hangs in the hallway. You do a turn and send Ellie a killer smile, like you're posing for a photo. Ellie thinks she's gonna explode.
"You look fucking- great, fuck. Of course you look good." Ellie shakes her head as if you asked her the most ridiculous question to exist. She leans back on the couch and observes you as you examine your face.
She imagines that you're getting ready for a date with her. Imagines giving you a kiss on the neck and planting her hands around your waist while you giggle at her and snap a photo of you two in the mirror.
"Okay, and what do you think 'bout this perfume?" now you were getting nervous, the time to leave for the date coming closer. You march over to her, heels clicking on the wooden floor. You lean down, pushing your neck into Ellies face so she could sniff you better.
You catch Ellie by surprise as she steadies herself. Her nose and lips nervously brush over your neck, just behind your ear. She takes a long inhale and closes her eyes, you signature scent filing up her senses. Your hair tickles her face.
"Smells good. As always." Ellie states quietly, not moving from the warmth of your neck. She wishes she could stay there.
"Thanks, Williams. I have to go, I'm gonna be late. So, uh, I'll let you know how the date went! You have my location if anything happens, yeah? Lock the door behind me." you put on your coat and bag and strut to the door.
"Wait, she's not picking you up?" Ellie hurriedly follows behind you. The fuck?
"Uh, no. Something's up with her car or... I don't know. I'm just gonna walk!" you say, not looking forward to the death of your feet.
"Jesus," she mutters "do you want me to drive you? It's cool." Ellies already picking up her car keys but you stop her.
You put your hand on her bicep, giving her a reassuring squeeze "Ellie, it's fine. I don't mind walking! I love walking, in fact! Don't stay up late, okay? Bye, Els!" you retort, you don't want to be a bother. Besides, walking is healthy. At least you'll get your steps in and the restaurant is 15 minutes away.
Ellie rolls her eyes, but she can't even say a comeback since you're already clacking away. She almost forgets to lock the door.
She drags her feet back to where she was sitting and finishes rolling her joint, the TV in the background playing a random movie. Ellie lights up the spliff and leans back, putting her feet up on the living room table. Finally she can relax and turn her mind off.
The clock showed 12 AM and Ellie was fast asleep right where she sat. The spliff she smoked turned into ash and the movie she was watching ended a long time ago. The sound of her phone ringing jolted her awake, the ring tone she put specifically for you blaring loudly.
She quickly picks up the phone "Hey? Is everything okay?" Ellie muttered, still half asleep with closed lids.
"Hey, um, Ellie? Can I come over?" you slur your words slightly. Are you drunk? You sounded rushed and winded.
"Of course, angel, where are you? Should I pick you up? Are you okay?" Ellie asks in a panic, now wide awake. She didn't even notice the way her nickname for you slipped out.
"Yeah, everything's fine, just need to, uh, see you." you sniffle "I'm gonna be up in a sec." you tell her and hang up the call.
Ellie rushes to the door to unlock it and sees your fallen face. She stands to the side and lets you in as you take off your heels and fall face first into the cream cushions.
"What happened?" Ellie asks as she sits down next to you, placing a careful hand on your back.
"Nothing, I just... It was so weird. Everything was okay at first, we were drinking and laughing, and then we went back to her place and she was acting strange and kinda like an asshole, so I left. The sushi was shit, by the way." you chuckle, wiping the one tear that slipped from your eye.
Ellie had a concerned look on her face as she opened up her arms, inviting you for a hug. "Come here." You place your head on her warm chest and close your eyes, humming contently. "I didn't know where to go and you were so close, so yeah. Sorry if I woke you up, though." you whisper into her.
"It's okay, just glad that you're okay. Wanna take a shower? You can sleep here if you want." Ellie smiles at you while wiping smudged mascara from your cheek. Your painted lips tug into a smile and Ellie wonders how that shade of pink would look on her.
"Yes, please." you mutter softly and let go of her body.
Ellie gets up and swiftly makes her way to her bedroom. She rummages through her messy closet until she finds a pair of grey boxers, some socks, a t-shirt and a towel. Jesus Christ, I need to clean more often.
"Here you go." she hands you the clean clothes.
"Thanks, Els. I don't know what I would do without you." you smile at her hazily, your eyes having this sort of gloss over them, like the one Ellie saw that night. You make your way to the bathroom and close the door. She hears the water turn on and the sound of the shower curtains rustling.
Don't imagine her naked, you idiot.
Ellie lets out a sigh she didn't know she was holding as she settles into the daybed comfortably.
You finish your shower and plop down next to Ellie. The smell of her pine-like shampoo fills her nose. The thought of you showering with her stuff and using her towel and sleeping in her clothes makes her head dizzy with the sheer domesticity she so badly yearns for.
Ellies sprawled out in a laying position, one hand under her head while the other plays around with the TV remote. You wrap your arms around Ellies tattooed one, leaning your head on her shoulder. One of your legs rests on top of hers, hiking up your her boxers in the process.
Fuck.
Ellie can't help but gaze down at your body, the way her bottoms hug your thighs and how her shirt looks so fucking good on you. To say that you look hot would be an understatement. She knew she looked stiff as fuck but she didn't dare move a muscle. Ellie feared that even a slight movement would cause you to detach from her, so she stayed still.
"You okay, El?" you ask as you notice the change in her demeaner, shifting your stare to the side of her face. Even though the only light was coming from the TV, you could still se the slight nervousness that was present on the girls face.
Ellie snaps her head towards you and clears her throat "What? Yeah, angel. I'm fine, sorry. Just watching the show." she sends a smile your way as her eyes focus on the TV, your own burning a hole in the side of Ellies neck.
She puts a daring tattooed hand atop your thigh in a reassuring matter. You hum against her and turn your attention back to the documentary that was playing.
Ellies feels her heart palpate and she wonders how far the nearest hospital is from her apartment.
You lay like that for a while, comfort and warmth surrounding your tangled bodies. You didn't move and Ellie took that as a sign that her clammy hand on your thigh didn't present itself as a problem.
Ellie thought she was dreaming.
Out of nowhere you let out a chuckle, obviously remembering something funny. "What is it?" Ellie asks you.
"Nothing I just- nothing, doesn't matter." a giggle escapes your lips as you nuzzle closer to Ellies body.
"Weirdo." Ellie jokes with a squeeze to your leg.
After a 2 minute silence, you whisper something that sends Ellie into orbit "I didn't even come..."
What the fuck?
Did she heart that right?
Ellies body hardens as she questions. "Come- come where?" the embarrassing ask leaves her mouth before she can even think about what you meant. You laugh at her confused tone.
"No, Els, I mean, like, I didn't even come when I was with her." you hide your face in your palm and whisper the 'come' part, suddenly feeling embarrassed that you even admitted something like this to your friend. Ellie understands.
Oh my god.
The brunette thinks she might just die right here. You almost never talk about sex. I mean, here and there of course, but never intimately like this. You both knew more about Dinas and Jesses sex like than yours, everything you found out against your will. Ellie didn't even know if she wanted to hear about your love endeavours, she didn't know if she could handle the sheer thought of someone else's naming dripping from your lips in that way.
But this, this intrigued her as she continued to ask.
"What do you mean?" Ellie tries not to prod to much, still acting dumb.
"I mean, we were going at it but after she was done, that was it. She left me high and dry. She didn't even give me aftercare, she just went on her phone." you laugh feeling more comfortable to tell the story "That's why I left. I felt embarrassed."
This fucking bitch. she thinks about the girl. She couldn't comprehend what you were telling her. Someone was having sex with you? And you didn't finish? That wasn't their priority?
Ellie can't help but let out a scoff as her mouth hangs open with disbelief.
I would never fucking do that.
"Do what?" you question her, giving her a puzzled look.
Shit, did she say that out loud?
"I- I mean, I would never just leave a girl hanging like that. Making a girl finish is sometimes better than sex itself, shit." Ellie lets out a mocking laugh, the weed that still buzzed in her giving her confidence. This made your stomach swirl in a way that was all to familiar, the thought of Ellie in compromising positions.
"Don't feel embarrassed, she's a fucking idiot. Doesn't deserve you." her grip on your thigh hardens and you would be lying if you said that it didn't have any effect on you. Ellie wasn't the only one still drunk on substances, the alcohol you had earlier still present in your body.
"Yeah, you're right." you mutter out, hiking your leg upwards, your knee nearing Ellies crotch. This doesn't go unnoticed by the brunette.
"Of course I fucking am." she says like its fact, her eyes darting between your knee and the TV.
The comforting silence returns and soon enough Ellie puts on a TV show you both love, but you couldn't focus on anything but her body underneath yours. Its not like you didn't think about Ellie. Of course you did. Every fucking gay girl with eyes saw how attractive Ellie was. Her eyes, her crooked smile and that fucking tattoo that adorned her forearm were enough to make a girls knees weak. Dina had subtly mentioned how Ellie was a bit of a player, so you didn't wanna indulge in her games. As you grew closer to her, you saw how sweet she actually was. Yeah, she could be an ass sometimes, but that was just Ellie. You saw right through her hard exterior and discovered her nerdy and warm side. Still, you didn't want to compromise your friendship with her or Dina, so you just moved on.
You move your head to rest in the crook of Ellies neck, feeling her pulse quicken at the action. Racy thoughts were swirling in your head and your tongue was faster than your tipsy brain.
"Now I'm all pent up." the whisper came out so hushed that even Ellie barely heard it.
The air shifts and Ellie nearly looses her mind. You could cut the tension with a knife. What the fuck were you doing? Surely this isn't something innocent. Suddenly she could feel every inch of your body on hers, a cold sweat running down her insides.
What the fuck does she do now?
Shit.
"Y-yeah?" she whispers even quieter then you, testing the waters. Fuck it, she thought. She could feel the warmth of your centre radiating on her thigh and that was enough for her. With her gaze still on the screen, Ellie moves her hand up your thigh slowly, landing near the bottom of your cotton boxers. She takes the hem between her fingers and plays with it. Maybe this seemed like a bold move, but her insides were doing fucking backflips. She patiently waited for your next move.
"Yeah, got all worked up..." you rasp out, craning your neck to the side and lightly brushing your lips on the red mark you left some days ago. You unhook your leg from Ellies waist and turn to lay on your back, still clinging to her right arm. Ellies hand slips from your ass and lands on the inner part of your leg. Nobody speaks a word.
Ellie thinks she might pass out.
Her fingers draw deliberate circles on your skin, still unsure of her movements. Slowly but surely, they dance up your leg and land again on the hem of your shorts. Ellies eyes are wide with blown out pupils, her breaths come out ragged and short. She can't keep her eyes off of you. Her digits linger for a moment or two, before her pinky grazes your sweet spot. The thing she yearns for. You let out a quick sigh of relief as you both come to an understanding of what's about to happen, but neither of you verbally confirm it. No words need to be said.
Your grip on her arm tightens, silently signaling for her to continue what she was doing. She moves her pinky up and down and if she moved just an inch, she would be right where you needed her.
Ellie decides that she would be taking her sweet ass time. She'd been waiting too long for this to be over in a matter of minutes. She finally feels like she's in control. Her bangs stick to her forehead, her brows are furrowed and they way she's biting her lip will definitely leave a mark. She couldn't see your face, but she imagines its mimicking hers.
You buck your hips up, just a tad, just to let her know its safe to go further. Ellie moves your leg with hers slowly as she opens up your thighs. She so badly wishes to see the view below, so sure that the cotton boxers were a darker shade of grey in the middle. Her throat is dry at the mere thought of your slick.
Ellie moves her hand to cup your cunt, the pads of her digits pressing against your hole lightly. She was right, you were wet.
You were wet for her.
The words keep repeating in her mind.
It takes everything in her not to flip you around and fill you up with her strap, but she can't. Not yet. Not now. Another time if her stars are lucky.
You let out a low moan that you were holding on to while digging your nails into Ellies bicep. Ellies tattooed hand moves up, her fingers tracing your bud with a light pressure, enough to elicit another groan out of you. Ellie groans quietly just at the sight of her hand on your pussy. Her pressure on your clit hardens and she moves her fingers faster. You instinctively open your legs more, giving her better access to play with you.
She halts her movements and you almost whine at the loss of her touch. She slowly lifts up the band of your boxers and slips her hand in. She doesn't know why but she's surprised at the loss of your panties underneath the shorts. Ellie remembers seeing the lace adorning your back just a couple of hours ago and wondering what you were wearing down below. Its a good surprise nonetheless.
You arch your back at the sudden contact of Ellies cold digits on your puffy clit. She circles it again before moving down to gather your slick on her fingers, returning them to your bud.
"E-Ellie..." her name falling from your lips in the most beautiful way Ellie has ever heard and she thinks she could come just from that. Your bury your face in her neck and she feels your every breath.
"Yeah, baby?" she rasps out, continuing to roll your clit around in hard but slow movements. You kiss her neck a bit harder this time, leaving wet trails all the way up to her jaw. Her smell is intoxicating to you. You need more.
"Need more, El." you mutter out shyly. It was embarrassing how quickly you soaked your panties for her. You didn't know that Ellies were even worse than yours.
She dips her head down and catches your lips with hers in a slow kiss. Ellie thinks she's on top of the world.
The touch was electric and Ellie felt as if you were the missing piece to her puzzle. You let go of her arms as you straddle her waist, tangling your hands behind her neck and in her hair. Ellie lets out a groan at the tug of her locks as her hands come up to rest on your ass. She kisses you with so much want and so much need, she doesn't even stop for a quick breath. You both slow down as her hand once again finds your wet centre and you can't help but let out a moan into Ellies mouth. She rubs you through your boxers, teasing you again.
"El, please..." you plead with her, you can't take it anymore. Your head falls into the crook of her neck as you leave another hickey next to the old one.
Ellie feels like a god when she hears her name fall from your mouth, so sickly sweet, so desperate, just for her.
"What do you want, baby? Hm? Tell me." she's not even that much of a dirty talker, but she needs to hear you say it. Needs to hear you say how badly you want her. The craving for you growing stronger.
"Anything. Do whatever you want." the words you say come out in a moan as you grind down on her rough palm.
In a swift motion she flips you over to lay on your back. Your legs wrap around her waist as she pulls up your chin for a deep kiss. Both of you are a moaning mess at this point. The pillows on her couch were thrown somewhere on the floor, the TV long forgotten. Ellie pulls her shirt above her head and you almost salivate at the sight of her abs, her Calvin Kleins peeking out from her shorts. Her messy auburn hair and bitten lips leave you wanting more. You pull her in by her sports bra to continue the kiss. Her fingers toy with the bottom of your shirt as she lifts it up above your tits, the cold air nipping at your exposed skin.
She kisses down your body, starting from your neck down to your clavicle. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do this." Ellies words sound breathless as she kneads your tits in her hands, running her fingers over your hardened nipples. She kisses them slowly, making sure to leave a few of her marks.
Ellie can't wait any longer, the need to taste you overcomes her completely.
She gets on her knees in front of the couch and settles between your soft thighs, kissing and biting them delicately. Her long digits drag over your tits all the way to your knees. "Can I taste you? Please?" and Ellie didn't even have to ask by the looks of you.
Ellie wishes she could take a picture right now. Your cute face is all blushy, bitten lips waiting for a moan to slip out. Your hair spills around you like you're a work of art. God, don't even get her started on how your perfect body looks under hers.
And who are you to deny her? Her whiny tone and big eyes are enough to send you over the edge.
"Yes, Ellie. Hurry up. Please." you sound just as pathetic as her.
Ellie eyes your heat, pressing a teasing finger right on your wet clit. She bunches up the boxers and slips her hand underneath, touching you with her cold knuckles and dragging them down your slit slowly. The reaction that this elicits from you makes her roll her eyes to the back of her head. She carefully but quickly takes off the cotton material and throws it behind her.
"Jesus, you're so fucking wet." and it feels so pathetic, how wet you got just from a few touches. You don't even wanna know how fast you'll come if she keeps this up.
Ellie finally bows her head down and licks a long stripe from your hole to your clit, making you buck your hips to her mouth from the action. She shuts her eyes and groans from your taste. Tastes so fucking sweet. She thinks she could live off of you alone. She continues gathering your slick on her tongue as she circles your clit, pulling you closer by your thighs. Her moans mix with your own and you don't think you could hold on any longer.
"E-Els, oh my god. Keep, fuck, keep going!" you croak out while arching your back, pushing into Ellies tongue.
"Hold on, baby. Don't come yet. Just a little longer. Shit, you taste so fucking good." Ellie grumbles between your folds, nose bumping into your bud as she nuzzles deeper. Her chin is covered in your wetness, dripping down the couch.
Her right hand unwraps from your thigh and reaches down into her own shorts. Ellie can't help it, her own slick pooling in her underwear. The thought of her face in your cunt making her go crazy. She speeds up her tongue while she simultaneously rubs her own clit. She doesn't even bother to take off her boxers.
"Tell me when you're close, angel. Okay?" the sound of her voice sending vibrations to your body. You nod frantically, too pent up to even use your words. All you can focus on is her heaven-sent tongue that's working on you.
However, you do notice her sneaky hand in her boxers, and the sight alone makes the tight coil in your stomach snap. Ellie's lapping at you like you're her last meal in the world while her wrist is working on her own clit. The sight is pitiful one, how she's about to come just from eating a girl out. Not just any girl. Her girl.
"Ellie, I'm close, fuck, 'm gonna- gonna come!" you whine with your hands tightly tangled in Ellie's hair. "Yeah, fu- you gonna come for m-me?" and as she utters those words and as her pace is just right, both of you finish at the same time, hot flashes running through your bodies. Ellie's hand and mouth are still not letting up as she works trough your orgasms.
She slows down and takes her hand out of her shorts and lazily wraps it around your thigh. "El- stop, stop, stop, can't take, fuck- can't take anymore." you hum out, your hand wiping the beads of sweat from your forehead. Ellie groans in reply, so pussy drunk on your taste that she just can't bring herself to let up. "Ellie! Please..." you push her head away, feeling overstimulated.
"Okay okay, sorry angel." her mouth detaches from your bud with a pop and she continues placing small licks on your hole, cleaning you up. She finishes with a few kisses placed on your clit and inner thighs.
Ellie quickly gets up with wobbly legs and goes to the bathroom to get a fresh towel to clean up the scene that just unfolded. As she looks at herself in the mirror, she sees your shinny slick dripping down her chin and she can't help but smirk at the sight.
She makes her way towards you and now she really wishes she had a fucking camera somewhere here, because even the greatest renaissance painters couldn't have painted a better portrait. You turn your head to look at Ellie with you shirt sitting under your chin, your bottom half completely naked and as the cherry on top, your perfect smile and hazy eyes looking right at her.
She blushes as she sits down next you, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Hey, brought you a clean rag." she says, suddenly feeling very shy under your piercing gaze. "Thanks, babe." you tell her before pulling her down by her bra for a sweet kiss. Ellie immediately melts into you as you taste yourself on her lips. Her heart flutters at the word babe.
"Was, uh, was that good?" her pleading eyes look into your own as she questions you quietly. "Ellie, you're joking, right?" you giggle as you run your fingers through her auburn locks. She turns away from your gaze while a deep blush creeps onto her cheeks.
"Hey," you turn her head towards yours "I don't think I ever came that fast in my life." your blown out pupils meet her own and Ellie's stomach dances at your words.
You pick up her right hand, still looking deep into her eyes. A playful and dangerous look enhancing your stare. You bring up her fingers to your lips, parting them just enough for her digits to slip in, licking them clean from the girls come. Ellie sees white for a second. She pushes them in deeper, and now she can't help but imagine some other things she would do to you.
"Round 2?"
#OKAY ITS FINALLY DONE#i dont even know what to say i feel dirty from writing this lmaoo#in a good way#mine#fics!#ellie williams#ellie williams smut#ellie tlou#ellie x reader#ellie williams x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams imagine#ellie williams blurb#tlou2#the last of us#tlou#the last of us 2#lesbian#smut#lgbt#sapphic
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Sugar
Joel Miller x F! Reader
Summary: You wandered off without letting anyone know. Joel doesn't like that one bit and decides that he's had enough of your loud mouth.
+18 smut
p.s. don't like this at all but I felt bad for not posting after my last one, so here's this, dunno what it is but hope you like it, might or might not be writing something with tlou2 game Ellie ;)
The days had begun to blend together. You didn’t know if it was Monday or Saturday. You didn’t even keep track of what month it was. All you knew was that it was winter. Living in New York had prepared you for this, while it was cold in Massachusetts, you felt like nothing compared to the winters in Brooklyn.
You remember running around outside of the apartments. Playing with your neighbor's pitbull and scraping your knee because said pitbull kept chasing you around. You remember the sweet laughter that came from your mom when you told her what had happened. Oh your mom, how you miss your sweet mom and her voice, though the sound of her voice is starting to become a fog in your mind.
You lost your mom on outbreak day. You had just turned 17 the day before, September 25, 2003. You remember that last day so vividly. Your mom took that week off because she wanted to spend more time with you. Luckily you had a few days off from school so you were home those days too. It was Thursday and you were sound asleep. In the kitchen was your mom preparing you a birthday breakfast.
She came into your room singing ‘Las Mañanitas’ in the loudest voice she could muster. You woke up abruptly from the noise but once you found out what it was, you started laughing uncontrollably. You covered your face with your hands out of embarrassment, never knowing what to do when someone sang you happy birthday. Your mom was recording you with her big bulky camera.
“Mami stop, I'm too old for this!” You exclaim, your laughter dying down a little as she sits beside you in your messy bed. She leans over and plants a kiss on your forehead. “Happy birthday mi amor”. She picks up a sliced mango from the plate she made you and plops it in your mouth.
“Omg mami, it's so good” Your eyes roll back from the sweetness of the fruit. Mangos have always been your favorite fruit and your mom always makes a dish that has something to do with mangoes on your birthday. Last year it was pancakes with mango hearts on top. Today it was chocolate-covered mangos. “I got them from the little market on the corner of 8th Street. Marta said they just came in, so they're extra fresh just for you!” She says happily, admiring you.
She sighs deeply and suddenly her face turns into one of glum. She grabs the plate from you and places it on your bedside table, she suddenly engulfs you in a tight hug. “My baby’s all grown up” she whispers in your ear.
“Aww mami, it’s okay. You know I'm not leaving you anytime soon. I love you mami, thank you for always giving me what you could, and for never abandoning me even after Dad left, I know that was hard for us but especially for you. I’m so proud. You’re the best mommy ever. Te amo”.
That was the last full conversation you remember having with your mom. It's been 20 years since then. You're now 37 walking down the streets of a gated community. The streets are completely stripped of any life form, that's not a surprise though, it's been like that for the past few years. The wind is slapping your face, causing tears to form in your eyes. There's garbage just scurrying the streets. No noise, just the whistles of the wind and your footsteps. You hadn't gone on a walk like this for a long time, despite everything it's quite peaceful.
You just showered in Bill and Franks’s house, You're shivering from your wet hair, and if your mom was around she would have scolded you for it. You look around at this rural town, the few stores it had, and the empty houses that decorate the streets. It dawns on you that you can't even remember what life was like before the outbreak. Life is just being on the run, killing and surviving. You know nothing else.
You’ve stopped in the middle of the street and closed your eyes. Trying to imagine what you would have been doing now in your life if none of this would've happened. You begin to imagine yourself in Brooklyn, you're married with a baby boy. Your mom is in the living room watching your baby boy, as you cook. Life would've been so great. But you can't help but think, what if it was all supposed to happen like this? What if this was the plan all along?
You’ve always been a firm believer of “things happen for a reason” but with everything that's happened, you've questioned your beliefs. You were raised religiously. Every Sunday you’d go to mass with your mom. And you were taught that God had plans for all of you, that he does everything for a reason, and that he’ll only give you things you can handle. But this? To you, this isn't something you could handle. How could you have worshiped someone that caused such great disaster to humankind?
You just don't know what and who to believe in anymore.
You were so immersed in your thoughts that you didn't hear the footsteps that were approaching. But somehow even so caught up in thought, you still had that sixth sense that drove your mother crazy. Within a second you pulled your gun out of the back of your jeans and pointed at whoever was behind you.
The scene you have painted is quite funny. Your gun pointed straight at Joel Miller. Once your brain has fully registered that it's in fact Joel and not some infected, you lower the gun down and place it in the back of your jeans, a habit you picked up from Joel.
“Jesus Joel! You can’t just sneak up on me like that”. You play the dramatics out so Joel could feel bad for you, or get him to show some emotion.
Since you met Joel like 5 months ago, he’s said very little and shown very little emotion. The only time you've ever seen a sliver of emotion is when he's with Ellie. It’s the only time he ever seems real. You see the way Ellie is starting to warm that grump's heart. But Ellie kind of has that effect on people, especially with those dumb puns she likes to tell you every chance she gets. She’s a good kid, so good that you feel terrible for what she’s gone through, she doesn't deserve all the bad she’s gotten. You don't know how much time you’ll spend with Ellie but you’re gonna try your hardest to give her a bit of normalcy, well as normal as you can in the world you live in.
“What did I tell you about wandering by yourself? If you want to leave, tell me first”. Joel scolds you. Let's just say it's not the first time you've left without a word. He got really upset at you that time. You swore that forehead vein was going to explode. He got all up in your face, saying that you can’t just wander around without him, that he needs to know where you are at all times, blah blah you have to learn to be responsible, more blah and blah about getting yourself killed.
Just to shut him up, you promised you wouldn't do it again, but… well here you are.
“Um, not to do it?” You end it with a questioning tone. He starts nodding his head at you, moving a few steps forward. “Right, and where are we right now y/n?”
His tone is serious and harder than usual.
“Dude, you're acting like I'm a kid, I'm not that much younger than you. I don't have to tell you where I'm going, I can protect myself”. You roll your eyes at him and cross your arms in front of your chest. You see Joel clench his jaw and his eyes moving from one of your eyes to the other.
“Oh trust me, sweetheart, I know you're not a kid” What the hell is that supposed to mean? “But the way you just walk out of the house with not at least letting Ellie know where you're going, is you acting like a fucking kid, is it so hard to do what I fucking tell you?”
You scoff at him, not believing the words that are coming out of his mouth. “Joel be fucking serious for once, will you? Where the fuck am I gonna go? Huh, tell me. There's nowhere to go. I don’t have to tell you where I’m going because frankly there’s nowhere to fucking go! you’re not my fucking dad, okay? So don’t come here yelling at me like I’m some helpless fucking kid”
That was a lot of fucks
At this point you’re yelling at him, you've moved closer to him. You hadn’t realized until you noticed your finger on his chest. You quickly remove it and storm away back into Bill and Frank's house, without letting Joel say anything else. You’ve truly had it. You can't handle Joel treating you like a kid. You're 37 for god's sake. You’d think he would take that into account.
Once you're in the house, you hear the shower running. Ellie, she must still be wondering where you are. You head to the bathroom door and knock softly. “Ellie?”
“Y/n?” Ellie yells from the other side of the door.
“Yeah babe it's me, hey sorry about not telling you I left. I just went on a walk”. On the other side, Ellie’s eyebrows furrow into confusion. “Oh, I hadn't known you left, but thanks for telling me”
“But Joel said-”
Just then you hear his loud footsteps coming up the stairs. “Ellie I’ll be in the room, Let me know if you need anything”. As you walk away you hear the faint okay from Ellie.
You quickly shut the door and stand by the windowsill. You know he’s probably going to come inside to yell at you some more because it seems that’s all he can do. You face the window. Your back to the door. The doorknob jiggles, it's an old house so things get a bit jammed. Joel finally got the door open, he steps and gently shuts the door. Your heart starts to pump faster.
While you didn’t want to admit it, Joel makes you nervous. Not in an “I’m scared, he'll hurt me” kind of way but more because you think he's a hot grump that doesn't know how attractive he is kind of way. Yeah, Joel makes you want to pull out your hair but, you can’t deny that his overprotectiveness over you doesn't make you feel things you shouldn't. Especially because you think Joel just sees you as some kid who doesn't know what to do on their own.
The first time you met Joel a couple of months ago was when he found you and Ellie together in that abandoned apartment where the fireflies had set camp. He was on his own looking for a car battery or something. You were on your way out to meet with the others to start the journey to Boulder, which is where the University of Eastern Colorado is located at. There are doctors there that have claimed to help create a cure with the help of Ellie. You were skeptical at first, but if Marlene believes it, then there has to be some truth to it.
He thought you were infected and tried to kill you, Marlene stepped in and explained to Joel what was going on. She was hurt before Joel came in. One of the fireflies somehow got infected and went crazy on the rest of the members in the complex. She had to fight him off, and while she didn’t get bit, the infected had toppled her into a piece of glass and she was bleeding heavily.
You knew she wasn't going to make it, she was bleeding too much and you had nothing to help her. You felt absolutely useless, just standing there covering Ellie so she wouldn't see what had happened to Marlene. You knew Ellie couldn't handle seeing another loss.
The last thing Marlene muttered was for Joel. She asked him to promise to take you and Ellie to the ruins of Boston and that the fireflies there would provide him with a car so he could take it to wherever he had to go.
While they were talking, you took Joel's look in. He was older, had salt and pepper hair, taller than you, and very broad but soft at the same time. He was very sweaty and dirty, but that weirdly made you think he looked 10 times better. Once he agreed, you knew you were in trouble. You knew that when you developed a crush it wasn’t gonna go away anytime soon. That's exactly what happened.
You remember that one time in the resort when the floor was flooded with water. He jumped in to prove to Ellie that the water was shallow. But all you could seem to notice was the way his shirt clung to his body. You don't know if he caught you, but if he did he didn’t say anything. Moral of the story, your little school girl on Joel never went away and while you hated when he screamed at you, you couldn't ignore the warmth you felt when he got all angry and up in your face.
You feel Joel's eyes on you, burning holes through you. Your breathing starts to get heavy. Joel was quick to notice that, more of the reason why he brought himself closer to you. You felt the heat of his body bouncing to your back. Joel sighed before letting himself talk. “Y/n?”
You won’t give in easily, no. If he wants to apologize you're gonna make him work for it. Joel moves in closer to you, to try to get you to give in. He’s always known. He's caught you sneaking glances at him, your eyes glued to him, but he never acted on it, he also believed it was his delusions getting to him. He hasn't had contact with a girl for a long time. You’re the first person that has been with him for a long period of time. How wasn't he supposed to notice you? Not only that, but he thought you were one of the most beautiful girls he’s seen.
“You don't have to talk to me, I just came here to say sorry. I shouldn't have said all that outside. I was just- um I was..”
You didn't understand why it was so hard for Joel to admit that he cared about you. You know you said you weren't giving in but, you had the urge to say something. “You were just what Joel. I don't need your half-assed apology.”
It's like your words made Joel switch from soft-spoken babble to that hard tone he used before, but now it was different. You weren't sure what made it sound different, you just know that there is something else laced in his tone.
“Turn around, and look at me while you talk to me” His words alone had you turn into pure heat. But you didn't want to obey him. He talks to you like he has power over you. That's not something you're going to take.
“Didn't I tell you to stop telling me what to do Joel?” You turn to face him, the look on his face alone made you want to pull your hair out. His pupils were blown out, his face a little flush probably from the cold outside, and veins popping out everywhere. From his neck to his fists.
What you didn’t expect was for him to grab your face forcefully. So hard that your lips were being squished together. “I’d watch that fucking tone sugar”
Those fucking pet names, why can’t he just say your name like a fucking normal person
“I’ve let it slip before but a pretty girl like you shouldn’t have such a filthy mouth, you listen here. You want to be treated like an adult?” He’s looking at you waiting for a response. There’s no way you can physically move your mouth so you just nod.
“Yeah?” he mocks you.
“So start fucking acting like one, stop with your temper tantrums. Bratty don’t look good on you sweetheart”.
Why is this making you horny?
Suddenly you’re not the loud-mouthed girl, you feel yourself slip into a submissive headspace. You wanna obey and definitely not make him mad, though it is a good look on him.
He starts to feel a bit guilty for yelling at you but that quickly dissipates when he sees your pupils blown out and glazed over. He scoffs and lets go of your face. Your hand comes up to gently rub on where he was gripping you. He didn’t hurt you, just now you miss his touch.
“You like that, don’t you? Like when I yell at you, hm?”
Didnt even have to say anything. You gave yourself away when you brought your body closer to his. You’re looking up at him with glazed doe eyes. Asking for something without actually saying anything.
Joel completely gets rid of any space between you and him. He encloses your jaw with his big hand. Tilts your head to be looking directly at him. He brings his face close to yours, you can feel his breath fan across your face. You try to reach his lips but he pulls away a bit, just enough to make a huff release from your mouth.
“You’re a big girl, right? Use your words and tell me what you want”
“I want you” You mumble, a sudden wave of shyness engulfing you. He raises his eyebrow, in a fake confused face. “Hm? Can’t hear you darlin’, gon have to speak up” His smirk prominent as ever.
You put on your sweetest smile, and the sweetest tone ever for him, “Joel I want you”
And because Joel is well Joel, that’s not enough for him, he made you say it one more time before you couldn’t handle it and pushed yourself and smashed your lips onto his. His hands leave your jaw and immediately roaming and touching what he could, if it’s not him groping your ass, it’s him smoothing his hands across your back.
Knew he was an ass man!
He’s pulling you up by your thighs, now your legs around his waist. Your cunt pressed directly on his hard-on. The friction he created caused a slight whimper to escape you. Which riled him up, You feel him walking towards the bed. He breaks the kiss to throw you on the bed.
“Gonna do what I’ve always wanted to”
Warmth has spread everywhere, and you just hope that that wetness you feel in your panties hasn’t seeped through your jeans, you know Joel wouldn’t let that go.
You get up on your elbows, watching him through hooded eyes. You haven’t done anything but you already feel drunk on him, he makes you feel woozy.
He kneels before you, almost like a lion silently stalking toward its prey. Made your heart go crazy, you can feel your cunt throbbing just at the sight of him. He gently spreads your legs apart so he can get in between them. Placing kisses on your jean-clad legs.
“Gonna take these off alright”
You nod at him, you haven’t said much because you honestly can’t believe this is happening. All those nights you’ve spent with your hand down your pants, palming away your ache with this exact picture in mind, and now it’s actually happening.
He slowly peels your jeans off, admiring your black lace panties.
Thank fuck for that fully stocked victoria secret you stumbled across during a hunt
“Fuck, don’t know how good you look right now. All pretty and perched just waiting for me to have a taste of you”
He’s going too slow, and doesn’t know much you can handle. You just need him to fuck you already. Need to feel him in you. It’s all you want.
“J-Joel c’mon you’re torturing me”
“There’s that mouth, been too quiet” He chuckles, leaving wet kisses on your thighs. He is so close to where you need him. While you wanna make him proud, you are still the same person, submissive or not you gotta throw in a quip.
“Thought my mouth was too filthy for you, didn’t think you liked it?”
He didn’t like that though, instead of a kiss, he bit into your soft skin. Making you whimper and squirm in his grip. He quickly pressed a kiss where he but you.
“Different between being mouthy and bratty. Love your mouth. Could hear you moaning and whimpering for me all day. Jus’ don’t like when you get that bratty attitude”
“Makes me wanna fuck it out of you”
His word has you bucking your hips for a bit of friction. “So do it, Joel, fuck the brattiness out of me”
You yelp when he rips your panties off you. Hey! Those are the only cute ones you had. Immediately pressing his hot mouth to where you wanted him. Because you didn’t expect it, a loud moan comes out of your mouth. Your legs try to close but he grips your thighs apart.
“This what you wanted, huh? Wanted me to eat this pretty little cunt out? Treat you like the filthy brat you are. Hm?”
His words only spur you on, grinding your cunt on his face. “Y-yes Joel, ugmh- feels so good”
He doesn’t stop, lapping his tongue up and down. Sucking your clit like it was candy. “Taste so good sugar, I could stay like this all day”
While it felt good, it wasn’t enough. “Need more Joel, n-not enough please” You whine. Needing something else. His mouth doesn’t stop, but you feel his hand leave your thigh. He brings his fingers to your mouth. You knew just what to do, you took his two fingers and sucked on them. Swirling your tongue around both of them coating his finger with your saliva. He removes his fingers and you don’t miss the way his eyes went heavy when the string of spit connected your mouth to his fingers.
“Such a dirty girl”
His fingers tease your entrance, You clenching around nothing. You know you’re close you just need something else. He slowly inserts both his fingers into you. Letting you stretch around his fingers not moving them.
“Joel need- Mmh, you to move. Porfavor- be nice”
He beings to slip them in and out eventually finishing that toe-curling pace. Your hands gripping onto his hair. His grunts vibrate and make you clench around his fingers. You feel that burning sensation in your tummy.
“That’s it, baby, taking my fingers so well, being such a good girl for me”
His mouth and fingers abusing your cunt. Making you scream his name.
“Joel, gonna c-cum, faster”
He slowed his fingers, making you whine. “Your manners baby, don’t forget em”
Once you muttered please he went ham on you. His tongue circling your clit, his fingers fucking you relentlessly. His other hand released your thigh and palmed your tits under your shirt, pinching your pebbled nipples. The new sensation brings you to your limit.
You feel your tummy tightening. Joel feels you tensing.
“C’mon baby let it go, You’re doing so good. Just hold on a little more for me”
“C-cant Joel!
“He pumps his fingers a few more times and you realize your sweet juices are all over his fingers. Making a sticky mess all over his face. He doesn’t mind, in fact, he’s bringing his fingers to taste you more, not wasting a bit of you.
You’ve splayed yourself on the bed, chest breathing heavily.
Joel licks you a bit more and cleans you up before properly cleaning you up. You squirm. Pulling Joel off you by his hair. “Ah! Joel, still sensitive”
“Sorry sugar, just can’t get enough of ya” He leans in for a kiss and you immediately warm up again.
“If I knew this is what it took to shut your bratty mouth up, would’ve done it a long time ago”.
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What is your perspective on tlou2 being inspired by the Israel-Palestine conflict? It didn't register with me at first but I've gotten too attached to the characters by the time that I discovered it and it is genuinely disappointing HOWEVER I have separated their narratives from the political dimension of the game by just focusing solely on the individual emotional journeys that each of the characters go through and I never really bought the games myself first hand except get them second hand but is it still wrong to adore the characters?
Not happy about it. I mean, who would be?
I wasn't aware of it at first either; it just didn't click, and then I started seeing the rumors, and well, it all made sense. I am disappointed. Not at all for Neil Druckmann, though. I don't really care about him (except for his amazing mind, where he created Ellie and Joel, the only fictional characters that I've got to love so much). What I am disappointed in more is that almost everyone thinks that once you continue to love this game, you support the evil too. Which is not how I feel about it.
But then again, does even my opinion matter? I've already got a lot of anon messages throwing hate on me for managing a blog about TLOU and supporting the evil. And I sit here and wonder... where did I ever say that I supported the bad side of the conflict? I don't think I ever did. Why? Because I don't talk about politics on this blog. This blog has been made to share love with all TLOU lovers, not to support Neil Druckmann or anyone else's political views or to even share about politics in general.
People are quick to judge. They go and preach to stand with Palestine and then go hate on the people who chose to stay quiet. People should realize that individuals managing fandom blogs and not sharing politics doesn't automatically mean that they support the evil. We (bloggers) have our own personal lives out of our blogs and our own personal accounts. Many of us are posting about the conflict on our personal social media. People should think about this before making bloggers feel like shit for managing silly blogs where they don't want to discuss what can be discussed elsewhere.
I have a deep bond with this game; I had it a long time ago before any of this was happening (everyone knows I will always prefer the first game over the second). This is not something I can just throw away. I have memories connected to it, feelings, emotions... it's not like I can tell myself 'fuck the game' now just because of the news I got. I guess it's easy for others when the bond is not so strong, but this game has been in a better part of my life for so long, and believe it or not... when I think about how Ellie and Joel make me happy, I don't have fucking Druckmann in mind or any of his political views.
I will never mix my admiration for this project with politics. Me not agreeing with Neil Druckmann's political views won't change the fact that I've already fallen in love with this game years ago. I am not loving Druckmann; I am loving something he once created. That is a big difference. Especially if you've already loved the game before the conflict.
I say, unless you're actively supporting the propaganda and throwing your money at it, you are not hurting anybody. You, being emotionally connected to the story of this propaganda's project or its characters won't really change a thing. Not for good, yes, but not for bad either.
Anyway, this is my opinion. I think people should stop judging those who are not sharing politics on their fandom blogs because they never know what these people share on their personal accounts. We are here to enjoy things that are free; love and joy for fictional characters we've adored for too long.
Sorry, I got a bit carried away. This is probably the only post about politics I'll share, so this needed to be said.
Anyway, you don't need to feel bad for loving the characters. You are not doing anything wrong. I think every one of us who still loves TLOU to this day is able to detach from the fact of who's behind the games. We're here for Ellie and Joel. They don't care about Druckmann either.elliespuns answers
#the last of us#tlou#ellie williams#ellie tlou#joel miller#joel tlou#ellie and joel#joellie#the last of us game#tlou game#the last of us part 2#tlou part 2#i stand with palestine#elliespuns answers
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They found Abby TLOU2
https://www.ign.com/articles/hbos-the-last-of-us-season-2-finds-its-abby-in-kaitlyn-dever
Now, can all the ASSHOLES that hate Abby LEAVE the actress the FUCK ALONE! After the immense hatred that poor Laura Bailey received for playing a fictional character in a video game, I am fearful how poorly Kaitlyn Dever will be treated, in particular concerning her connection to Pedro's Joel.
⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️SEASON 2 SPOLIERS⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️
You are warned. If you don't wanna know what happens, don't go any further.
⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️
Ok. Now, for that already know what knows what happens in Part 2, Abby kills Joel in a very horrific manner. Not rehashing it, nor do I really want to turn this into another Abby bashing post. Not my favorite character, but I don't outright hate her, and won't tolerate that shit right now. Time and places, people.
I am concerned because of the absolute hate STILL felt for the character, that it will seep over to the actor in full force, much like it did for LB. Many can't seem to be able to separate the actor and character from each other. They still body shame Abby to no end. I've already seen a bunch of comments where they began body shamming the live action actor before she was even cast.
The misogynistic idiots can be ignored to a degree. But what really worries me are the Pedro fans, similar to the Joel fans, are gonna be so pissed when they see Abby kill Joel. And they didn't know it was coming. Some people can remain oblivious, somehow, in this day and age. How feral are they gonna be? How reactionary are they gonna be? Are they gonna be able to separate the actor from the character? And, more importantly, are the rest of us Pedro fans gonna be mature enough to help guide them to a safe place to get their emotions out where it won't be a complete nightmare for KD AND Pedro?!
Because, c'mon, you can't tell me, that when Pedro sees any fan of his hurt anyone that it doesn't hurt him? The big smush pillow that he is? I see so many people passing around videos and memes about how they're not responsible for your reactions to their actions. That may be so, but you do need to be held accountable if those actions are causing harm. A point that is sorely missed those. The Pedro Fandom is overall protective of our Pedro.
So, I want to kindly ask the Fandom, with love, that when we see this shit happening, and especially when it happens when the show airs, (picture lots of mom/grandma finger pointing here, because that's me), to be nice, be mature, ask them to remember what our Squish Pillow would do (even if he is more chiseled and less squishy right now 😉)? Are we adding to his anxiety? We don't need to do that. The man has more than enough for all of us and don't need no more. Nor does he need another fucking excuse to shrink more away from social media!
Besides, I don't know Kaitlyn Dever. I've never heard of her. I look forward to learning more about her, and seeing what she brings to Abby. Do she and Craig make me see what Neil wanted me to all along? Or is it the same old? But I know this. I won't hate her. She's a human being. Very few things on this planet could make me hate her, and her playing Abby is not one of them.
#pedro pascal#kaitlyn dever#joel miller#the last of us#tlou#joel tlou#ellie williams#tlouhbo#tlou2 spoilers#tlou season 2#abby anderson#abby tlou#abby the last of us#tlou spoilers
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As much as I love Pedro and his turn as Joel, I just can't get excited for the rest of tlou bc a) I know what happens and I just don't want to see that, and b) tlou2's thinly veiled zionist bullshit would put me off even if I did. And it bugs me so much because it's just not that fucking hard to find a logical continuation of the story the first game sets up that doesn't devolve into a shitty pseudo anti-revenge narrative that seemingly forgets the entire theme of Ellie's agency and kills a beloved central character in service to its own bullshit message.
#it could've been a story about rebuilding trust and letting ellie take control of her life in whatever way she chose#while likely on the run bc of the consequences of joel's actions#but instead we get this bullshit#ANYWAY#anti tlou2#I guess?
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I really love the headcanons they're honestly so spot-on and very fun to read through if its not too much can I have hcs from you of my girl Dos🙏🙏🙏
YYESSS MY BELOVEDDD OMG omg u already know a lot of hcs n u made me have a lot more so ty 4 that omg
right off the bat. does not get along with kids. either that. or she is the cool mom to them. but her experience with every kid in the show says otherwise
her real name is MAYBE Dahlia.
bi. 100% bi, with a preference for women
terrible at math but good at everything else
when i said shes bi i mean like. kinda stereotypical bi. with like the leather jackets and also falling head over heels with a woman at first sight but it takes her months to actually start to like a guy
like. i adore acaiberry right.
and rizdos
but u know how dos went and infiltrated MATA and Bakar tried to flirt with her n like she was uninterested. what if like she ran into the most ethereal woman ever (geetha,,maybe i dunno,,,,just a suggestion,,,)
and that just causes her to almost fail the entire mission because of ONE OLD ASS LESBIAN
well geetha isnt that much older than her bc shes like,,,the same age as rizwan?? apparently?? but this isnt about her
owns a motorcycle. much cooler than rizwan's, like its got purple lightning on it and stuff.
if i was to compare her to a toh character shes like eda and lilith combined. like she takes wildly unnecessary risks but also completely stoic and unwavering at some.
but really she also reminds me of elle from tlou2
has a lot of jewelery, just rarely wears it
i said before she is not good with kids but her skills at makeup and being fucking awesome are what get her by. like she can get any kid to like makeup and motorcycles in three hours
really close with trez, again, thanks to you bella i have this headcanon. but like hes like her brother, maybe they grew up together?
she brags about being in a band but really she was only in it for a month (girlfailure)
never really caring unless its someone she knows like family, like MAYBE Trez, Rizwan is an exception
either she doesn't like music or she listens to heavy metal, but like with her partner she'd have their own music taste in her playlists and stuff
whoo time for some cringe dark heartwrenching headcanons!!
when she was in the numeros she was unknowingly cloned because before rizwan she was the strongest of the numeros. but that backfired bc it turned out to be a child.
and im not saying who that is because bella you know this headcanon all too well and no one else can know until i've fleshed out everything but a hint is she was homeless until MATA
like the clone ran away when she thought she'd be terminated and thats why she was homeless.
genuinely cries a lot when she thinks of losing people she loves. like she'd go in private and cry her eyes out and come back like nothing happened
when she dated jenny she had a plan in the back of her head to run away with her and off the grid from the numeros.
we all know that can't happen now
shes been through so much shit as a kid and always thought she was so mature and that she should have been able to handle it so if she ever has her own like single or adopted or with someone i dunno, she would cry because she realized she was that small and innocent once and she didn't deserve that
i hate it here
i might be projecting
i dont even have this many headcanons for my spiky haired daughter
i might be projecting on this one a little but i also got this hc from a comic by catboymoments
anyways!! i think thats all for now but if i think of any more i'll add them ilysm bella also feel free to ask anything else!!
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On my rewatching of TLOU2 i keep seeing comments about how Abby got the "good ending" while Ellie had a "bad ending".
First of all, there wasn't a good or bad ending for any of them. Both Abby and Ellie had found a bit of hope (Abby finding the Fireflies, Ellie being with Dina in the farm) and then it was taken from them (for Abby, The Rattlesnakes kidnapping her and Lev; for Ellie, Tommy coming and triggering her PTSD). When Ellie finally finds Abby you see there's relief in both their faces, for different reasons, but that last encounter saved them both.
Second of all, when Ellie lets Abby go we dont know what's going to happen to any of them. Specially to Abby and Lev. While we see the boat have reached the coast to the Fireflies' place, we don't know if they are still waiting for Abby and Lev. Ellie hears that it has been MONTHS since Abby was kidnapped, so whose to say that the Fireflies are still there? Whose to say Abby and Lev are going to find a place to stay or have the strength to keep going? They were crucified for a whole day and Abby was left bleeding out of her fight with Ellie. Their future is unsure.
With Ellie though, sure Dina left the house they shared, but it's a house that's close to Jackson. Ellie, unlike Abby and Lev, have a place, have somewhere to go to. Dina and her didnt leave Jackson because they were rejected by the people in there, they left to dont live with the guilt of having Jesse killed and having their own lives. But that doesn't mean they cant return to the town, which im pretty sure that's where Ellie is going to by the end. Sure, she lost two fingers after the fight with Abby, but Ellie still has a home and family waiting for her. Abby and Lev didnt have that luxury. So while it's sad that Ellie lost her (partial) connection to Joel by no being able to play the guitar again, she had finally let all her demons go and start again.
It's not a happy ending for any of them. It's bittersweet. Abby has Lev, but to the possibility of being the two against the world. Ellie lost Dina but she had found a new purpose. And not of them is secured. But at the same time, you, as the player, can have hope that it can be better.
And i think, that's a good balance
#the last of us#tlou#the last of us 2#tlou2#abby anderson#lev#ellie williams#i personally think is a better ending than the first game#the first one ended in a lie#the second ended with the possibility of a new path
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idk if is the ones who did the game that don't know how science work or if we are supposed to think the fireflies are callous and ignorant of it, but killing Ellie would be stupid in terms of studying a cure, even if they don't have ethic and moral qualms, they should do every test possible with her alive. even if the supposed cure is in her brain, the chance of it helping after dead would be minimal.
THIS ASK AND THE ANSWER FOLLOWING CONTAIN SPOILERS FROM THE GAME: VIEWERS OF THE SHOW SCROLL OVER OR PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK OF BEING SPOILED
I had written a whole ass rant with this ask but then TUMBLR decided to be stupid and do some shit and now I'm done so.
Yes, you're right anon. Actually, through the whole first game as Joel you find several pages of researches from the Fireflies, PROVING to you that their researches are bullshit and that they already had SEVERAL opportunities to do researches on immune children... that all died. Yup, they killed dozens of kids but I mean, they're the sweet baby angels saving the world. *side eyes at TLOU2*
To me, it always seemed in the first game, that there were points, obvious points that you were picking up, showing you that The Fireflies, were basically delulu people with a God Complex bigger than their big fat heads, justifying the murder of children behind a "we will save the world/we will find a cuuuure" promise that never went anywhere. That was the complexity of the first game, how neither The Fireflies nor Joel were completely right, nor wrong. How neither of them completely doomed the world, neither of them was here to save it and that's it. That was it, how ultimately, the narrative brought you back to the small bottled, HUMAN, relationship of Joel and Ellie. Because at the end of the day, do you save a world that's been doomed for 20 years? How do you do that when it's gone to shit so hard? And maybe you can't save humanity when you've lost touch with it so much, that you justify murdering children to "get a cure" that you haven't found in years and years of "research" because you keep repeating the same mistakes (ie: literally killing your subjects).
And you know, the show kinda touches upon that, but not enough, to me. I mean, we spent the whole beginning of the show, with scientists and experts of fungus infections with (at the time) the last of the last scientifical equipments possible, telling us that there is no cure. But The Fireflies in their mom's basement will find a cure? Yah. Ok.
It always seemed so stupid to me and odd that they killed kids like that, "unique" immune children and went back to "welp let's hope we'll find another one! *shrugs*" once they failed, that it was OBVIOUS that The Fireflies were wrong and really not the good moral choice when it came to Ellie's future (and bigger than that, the world's future). Literally I'm rewatching The Mandalorian, and even The Empire doesn't kill Grogu because they want to experiment on him. We live in a society where The Empire from Star Wars is better at science than the freaking "saviors of the universe" Fireflies.
But then TLOU2 happened, retconning once again the story, with all and mighty Abby having so much faith in her father that it twists the narrative and the gamers' perception, and everyone ended up being like "Joel doomed the wooooorld"-... when nope. Not at all. If you end TLOU1 with idk, average 5% faith in The Fireflies finding a cure, then you're a hardcore believer. But TLOU2 completely erases that complexity, because it erases the grey morality of what The Fireflies were doing, putting all faults on Joel saving Ellie, and that's it (because even Ellie blames Joel). Did I already say that I hate TLOU2? For so many reasons.
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stole this from @wingsyouburn because why not! Not going to tag anyone, but if you'd like to fill this out yourself, consider yourself tagged!!
How many works do you have on AO3?
384 :')
What's your total AO3 word count?
1,836,435
What fandoms do you write for?
Yes.
Ok but real answer? Current active ones are FF, Fire Emblem, and 13 Sentinels. I'll bounce around tho, depending on what inspires me. Like I always dip in and out of any video game fandom.
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1) Sweet Dreams (Witch from Mercury, sulemio)
2) Finally, Beautiful Stranger (FFVII, aerti)
3) Wings of Valor and Compassion (Overwatch, pharmercy)
4) Give Them Something to Talk About (TLOU2, Dina/Ellie)
5) No Safety in Desire (BotW, Urbosa/Zelda)
It does please me that my top fics are all femslash HSKDJAJD
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I definitely try my best to!! Unless it's very rude or makes me uncomfortable in some way, then I either don't comment on those specific bits or just ignore it altogether. I've had a handful of people make very backhanded remarks and I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, but it's really awkward when an absolute stranger treats me with too much familiarity just bc we share the same ship.
What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Probably Limbo? It does not have a happy ending and ends on a very horrifying note. What Becomes of Practice also comes to mind, seeing that the main character goes through hell and ends up dying, though IS reunited with her father in the afterlife 😭
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
God I really don't know. I'm more of an angst writer, so a lot of those happy endings are prefaced with a lot of pain lolsob so I feel pretty much any of my angst with a happy ending fics can qualify for this!! Tho I have received a ton of comments about how fluffy and cozy Finally, Beautiful Stranger's ending was, so I'll pick that one!!
Do you get hate on fics?
Not regularly, but it has happened. I've gotten "ew this is gross" remarks on just writing about gay people. I've gotten weird comments about a brief nightmare scene in a fix-it fic, despite tagging for it, bc "she's suffered enough, why would you do this". And more recently, I've gotten some "this doesn't make sense, why would this character ever be depressed/angry" bc I guess female characters who are conveyed as bubbly in the source material aren't allowed to experience any range emotion outside of that and shame on me for wanting to explore darker themes, like recovering from trauma and depression. Bonus points when the male pov character does way more fucked up stuff and no readers call him out on it (sorry, I'm still very bitter about this)
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Hell yeah! All my smut, even my attempts at pwp, always incorporate feelings and more often than not gain a plot along the way. I can't help it. I love the build-up and tension leading to the main event. I need to give my readers blue balls, I guess fjlahdskdh
Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Not really. I'm more of an AU person than anything. Even going through my fics, the only proper crossover I've written was If You Had Life Eternal, but even that is like, reimagining Warcraft characters in the Diablo universe and that's kinda it.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
SADLY YES >:/ thankfully, it was removed from FFN, but I really hated that someone copy-pasted my fic and just changed the character names to fit their ship.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
I have!! Several times!
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope. The closest I've come is like, sharing ideas on a single continuity with someone else and then writing it out on my own. I do like collaborative stuff with people I trust, but I don't want to co-write anything lolsob
What's your all-time favorite ship?
EVER????? It varies from fandom to fandom, even year to year. Celes/Setzer will always have a special place in my heart, even if I don't write for them as often anymore. But right now, keinatsu is dominating my life and I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.
What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
God, so many. I have my one Setzer fic that I posted the first chapter, managed to write the second one two years later, and then…. did fuck all with it. Also remembering the Darill/Maria/Setzer longfic I wrote and even did an initial editing pass, but that's now rotting on my laptop. It got a bit too personal at one point and I don't know if I'll ever share it :/ oh and that one Overwatch longfic I got 80k~ into and then abandoned bc the fandom was shitty and I didn't want to invest any more time in it
What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue, describing scenery, evoking all kinds of emotions.
What are your writing weaknesses?
jfc I'm incapable of shutting up and keeping things short
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I guess it depends? Like I used French in Darkness/Starlight for Jidoorian and the only times Setzer spoke in that was when he was open about his feelings, but didn't want Celes to know. But if the reader translated those parts, they could get more insight as to where his headspace was at. But normally, I would want things written out in a way that's understandable to the audience. If there's a phrase or whatever in a different language, I try to italicize it, but that's it.
First fandom you wrote for?
Vividly remember writing about my self-insert OC in a post-canon FFVII/Sailor Moon crossover that lived in spiral-bound notebooks at the age of 11. But the first fandom I actually posted something for online was Metal Gear Solid back in like… 2001???? It was forever ago lolsob
Favorite fic you've ever written?
This changes over time, but I'm still very proud of What Leads You Here. I put a lot of work into it and am so happy I could share it with the fandom and even happier that a ton of folks enjoyed it!!
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wip wednesday
I know this is a tag game that should also contain a poll, but, as I'm not getting tagged anytime soon, I decided to just air my (squeaky clean) laundry for my lovely 9 followers (hi, friends!) anyways because I can't keep anything to myself.
Anyways, this is the current situation of the fourth chapter of Shoot for the Stars:
I'm also kinda planning to make a cover for it and format it for Kindle/e-reader once it's done, make it look proper and fix a couple of things in the process. All edits will end up in the Ao3 version too, while the .epub format I'll probably upload in the files section of my Ko-Fi just in case somebody wants a version of it without author's notes and stuff (it'll be free as a bird, of course).
This won't happen until all the chapters are posted, though.
Then, I'm working on:
Sit Tibi Terra Levis, a one shot set between the Farm and the Santa Barbara chapters of TLOU2. It does follow canon, so beware of that, and it's based on the journal entry Ellie wrote in Palmdale, in which she mentions that she's locked in a basement and can smell Joel's blood. I might fire After Effects up, if it doesn't completely kill my laptop, and make a short video for it too, since the idea came from a song.
Unnamed Minnesota Fic, a no outbreak!AU with a very specific supernatural element (😈) in which Sarah lives and that's told from Joel's POV. It was supposed to be a cutesy one shot, but I've been going through the elements of it, and I think it can work better as a long with an open ending. Most things I've already decided, already went through the process of drawing the floorplan of Joel's new house, but nothing's set in stone as of yet (not even the title).
So far, the word bank for this fic includes the word "harebrained," and this is the only snippet I have that's for sure ending up in it:
"Why were you using my computer?"
"Uh... dress-up games?"
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Whose revenge bad story is worse? Isaac's....
......or Ellie's from TLOU2? :)
Interesting comparison, because while both stories end with a bland "revenge bad" moral that doesn't account for everything that happened beforehand... I would say that Ellie is N!Hector, while Abby is N!Isaac.
Simply put, Abby is the one who the story wants us to sympathize with. We are meant to understand why she played golf with Joel's head, to think that she's not so bad after all because she plays with the cute doggos. Her ending is uncertain, but hopeful. She finds a chance at a better life, and that's it - oh please forget that one time she was gleefully about to cut a pregnant girl open, it's okay, she had Trauma 🥺
Ellie's story ends in the most depressing way possible. She loses everything she cares about. Her girlfriend dumps her and takes their son with them, much like Lenore prefers to sun herself rather than keeping him company, after all that show about how much they love and understand each other. Abby goes scot free at the last minute, much like N!Hector big plan of bringing Dracula back goes up in smoke at N!Isaac's first "don't". She even loses her fingers, and thus can't play Joel's guitar anymore. Ang generally speaking, she artificially loses her morals to push a narrative, like N!Hector who slowly loses parts of his character and moral code to be either a passive element of the plot, or simply fetish fuel. Both of them suffered for absolutely nothing, if not for shallow, edgy cynicism points.
... and even then at least Abby gets eventually captured and tortured, which is more than I can say for Gary Stuaac who literally gets wonded once (1) in the whole show, fucking narrative darling babyboy
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I don't find ellie's motivations during tlou2 that opaque tbh. like yeah the revenge quest drags and you're exhausted at the end of it and tired of witnessing the bloodshed. I'm pretty sure that's the reaction the game is trying to draw out of you (I died during the confrontation on the beach because I didn’t want to choke abby so I stopped mashing buttons lmao). but ellie's determination to see it through is, I think, another expression of her survivor's guilt.
I think ellie is, fundamentally, someone who is living in the blank pages past the end of her story. riley gets bitten and ellie doesn't die. tess gets bitten, sam gets bitten, and ellie doesn't die. she thinks she has a chance to create a world where that won't happen anymore, to anyone, but joel saves her and she doesn't die. she's left to navigate the aftermath with no sense of purpose. she's just supposed to keep going, and she's doesn't know how.
and then joel is killed in front of her and ellie doesn't die. again. everyone I've cared for has either died or left me. everyone fucking except for you. ellie struggles with what joel did to and for her, and ellie is allowed to leave him, because she knows joel won't ever leave her. she thought she had time to come back to him. to figure out all that out. she hadn't forgiven joel yet, but she wanted to try. and then suddenly all that possibility is gone.
I think the revenge quest is partly a way for ellie to align herself with joel posthumously. now that she doesn’t have the option to heal and grow her relationship with the living joel, she engages instead with his legacy. we know the kind of man joel is (was?), and so does ellie—violent, vengeful, often selfish. the kind of man that regards the necessity of violence with equanimity. in joel's absence, ellie molds herself in his image. this is what joel would do, she thinks. if it had been me, she thinks.
and that's to say nothing of the sunk cost of killing more and more of abby's friends on her quest to find abby herself. once you've hunted down one, two, three people who pose you no threat, once you've tortured someone, once you've killed a pregnant woman, what does that make you if you stop now? what does it mean if you decide you don't need to kill abby after all? if abby's death is not absolutely necessary, then what of the violence leading up to it, and the person executing said violence? even if ellie felt early in her revenge that she wanted to stop, that it wasn't worth it, she wasn't ready to confront the reality of what she had done. framing her revenge as necessary let her pretend she was the hero a little longer.
and I think part of the reason she persists as long as she does is because of her lack of purpose, and, frankly, her desire to die. again, fundamentally, ellie lives. even when she doesn't want to. even when she doesn't believe she deserves to. she can't save riley, she can't save the world, she can't even save joel who, regardless of the tenor of their relationship at the time, is a foundational pillar of ellie's life. so what can she do? maybe this one last thing. ellie's own life, her own happiness, isn't important. it was her death that was supposed to be important, but she woke up and it had passed her by. now she's got a cosmic debt she can never repay. I don’t think she expects to come back from seattle, but she also can’t stand to let down someone she cares about again, even if it's only their ghost. what’s her life in the blank endpapers worth compared to another failure?
and ultimately she lets abby go. because she sees lev. she sees abby turn away from her entirely because her boy needs her. and because ellie remembers joel as he was after the bloodshed, the kind of man he was trying so hard to be for her. there's something there about what we leave our children. something about the kind of person you become to protect them, and about the kind of person they really need, and where those modes diverge. what kind of father is abby? what kind of father does ellie want to be? joel at the end of tlou, bloodied, lying to her? or joel standing on his porch in jackson, waiting for when she's ready to come back?
#I don't tend to go here but I've seen this sentiment mixed in with some tlou criticism that ellie's actions in 2 don't make sense#and I don't agree#if you think that its fine obvs idc some things don't work for some people#but I think the way tlou2 inspects joel's legacy by focusing it through abby and ellie is rly interesting#tlou is about fatherhood its just some of the dads are girls. girldads if you will.#how do you forgive your father? how do you repay him?#how do you let him go because you know your child needs a different kind of father?#how do you give them a different world than the one you had to live through?#anyway. this isn't a thrown gauntlet I swear I just had thoughts I wanted to articulate about where I think ellie is for a lot of the game#tlou2 is divisive etc etc I know but I liked it#had some thoughts about it#back to your regularly scheduled necromancers#did a readmore because this got longer than I anticipated#don't want to blow up anyone's dash I know this isnt what I usually post about sdjgfsd#tlou
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Wait.... Tommy dies in the games too? (So therefore is probably gonna die in the show....) I knew about Joel's fate long before there was a show because it was everywhere on the internet but I never knew what happened to Tommy 🥺
He doesn't die!!! Tommy (in the games at least, we'll see what happens with the show lmao) is alive! If you watch that scene though it really does look like he dies, which is the point, I think. I'm sorry if that spoiled anything for you, I always tag tlou2 stuff as #tlou part 2 so people can avoid spoilers if they want to :(
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Hi! I just happened across your Ellie Pokemon trainer piece and I love it. What are your reasons for each Pokemon being on her team? I have a general idea why some of them are a good fit, but I'd love to hear your intent behind choosing them. Thanks!
Oh gosh that's over 3 years old now but I'll try to remember! (keep in mind I did this before tlou2 was released so I was just guessing how the evolutions would would suit older Ellie)
Rowlet/Decidueye - Adorable round birb grows up to be a fast stealthy archer.
Phantump - "it is said that the spirit is that of a child who became lost in the forest and died". For Ellie's lost childhood, perhaps? Doesn't evolve for the same reason.
Deerling/Sawsbuck - So she'd have a mount to stand in for the horses in game. Changing seasons to follow along with how the seasons work as chapters in the game.
Wartortle/Blastoise - partially to have a fierce fighter alongside (seeing as the others are mostly just smol and cute early on) and the cannons suit the setting, but also because Ellie can't swim (or, she couldn't to my knowledge when I was drawing this) she could hang onto/ride on his shell in the water.
Larvesta/Volcarona -uhhh... cos he's a 'fire-fly'? Geddit? (shhhh I know he's a moth, don't ruin this for me)
Paras - The obvious reason is because he's infected by a parasitical fungus that, usually, takes over the entire pokemon when it evolves. This one doesn't evolve to reflect Ellie's immunity. (hard to tell but it's also a shiny to make it extra special)
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okay for tlou lore, going off the idea you've mentioned before of el basically being ellie in this au, do you have any thoughts about her and/or hopper's reactions when they reach nancy's house together?
I think El would be curious about them, and sad. This would be like a 14/15 year old El but without the years of being cared for that she has by then on the show, so she's going to be more withdrawn and wary like she was in the early seasons, but I think she would have adopt some amount of snark as a defense mechanism toward Hop but not like Ellie levels of attitude.
I think Nancy's house would be the nicest place she's ever seen, and it's lived in and loved in a way she has never seen before. She sees the pictures of Nancy on the wall but there are no pictures of Robin and she's probably curious about that. I think El's overwhelming takeaway isnt about Nancy and Robin, because she never meets them, they're just more dead people to her. But its about the house. It's the feeling of home there. I think that sticks with her.
Hop's reaction is probably similar to Joel's in the show. He's younger in this AU than Nancy and Robin, which is weird and hard to convey because even in my mind its hard to imagine lol. But he's probably 10-15 years younger than they are so he doesn't have any kind of parental feeling about them like he would on Stranger Things. Still though he has that protective streak and he's borderline chauvinistic about it, and I think he feels somewhat responsible for them dying even though it had nothing to do with him or anybody else. It's just one more thing slipping away from him. They were his friends. I think he expected to die first. I think he figured Nancy would outlive them all.
Ive mentioned this before but, I don't know exactly how everything plays out after the end of the story, in terms of the details of how the Getting El To (Whoever The Fireflies Are In This World) or what if any of the TLOU2 plot would still be happening. But I imagine a future where somehow somewhere down the line the world is saved, probably thanks to El, and she lives to see it. And she and Max come back to this house that's the first place that ever felt like a home to El and they make a peaceful life there. Maybe Lucas is there. Maybe more people come too. Maybe they make the neighborhood into the community that Nancy was never brave enough to build. I just like to imagine the cycle of love in that house echoing like some accidental legacy.
#asks#the ages in this AU are so confusing to me and i wrote the damn thing#sorry#ronance tlou bill & frank au
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