#bc of this but also irl life stuff rip
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Fighting for my life against this writer’s block 🫡
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today has been so much and i am so tired fndjdkl
going to try to do some more painting tonight though anyways
#five unwilling switches in one day fjdksl RIP us#and then like a lot more socializing than im used to both irl and online#and i just want to sleep so badly fndkdl also work on painting but i have to eat a dinner pretty quick and thats exhausting in itself#AOUGHHH sobs and wails. life is so hard smh fjfkdl#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#also my brother is definitely dealing w gender stuff so that is.. a little stressful for me bc of family dynamics#i will probably be blamed by parents for it yayyyy [collapses and dies]
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☆Hi☆
I'm Elliot, the depressed teen behind this blog :3 I'm transmasc and use he/they prns, please respect that
I AM ALSO A MINOR, IF UR A P0RN/K1NK BLOG UR GONNA BE BLOCKED
(It also takes me a hella long time to respond to dms I'm sorrrry😭😭😭)
My old blogs both got t worded (rip oscillating-fan-whore and oscillating-fan-whore2) (next time I'll be oscillating-fan-whore4!!)
This is a triggering blog, BLOCK DONT REPORT. Reporting makes my mental health worse and doesn't do jack shit, you can't report everyone, we always come back
(Note: nsfw adjacent posts are mentioned below cut, if you are an adult on this blog please read that section <3)
ed sh blog but also I post vents and abt my life outside ed and sh too :D
(More under cut)
Anyways now that we've hopefully weeded everyone who doesn't like it out, hi guys ^^
☆I've had my ed since July of last year (23) but sh since 5th grade
☆I have (somewhat?) Diagnosed depression and anxiety and very possible autism (AKA I've been told by many people that I'm autistic, have like every trait, scored high on every pre screening test, but my mom refuses to believe it whenever someone tells her [which has happened multiple times but yk] ANYWAY-)
☆tics (probably tourettes but never dx)
☆no one irl knows
☆prone to typos
☆EMOTICON USER :3 :D ^^ :) :]
☆active red bracelet wearer
☆American :( [help us]
☆nebularomantic and sexual but no idea abt who I'm attracted to 💀 just attracted to my partner (? It's complicated) so somewhere around androsexual
☆suuuuuper Hannibal (nbc) fixated rn so like of you see a reference in my blog don't be surprised
☆sweetsp0>>>>meansp0 (unless it's good)
☆Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal NY is THE ED song trust
☆I'll make a tag list for recipes, lemme know if you want in :D
☆I won't send bcs coaches fuck off
☆open to an4 buddies tho :3
☆ngl a lot of posts about the state of my stomach (she hasn't been okay in years <3)
☆asks are welcome and encouraged (just don't be a bitch)
☆DMs are open but so is my right to block <3<3
☆I do occasionally post something NSFW adjacent abt my experiences in life (becuz I'm a horny teen with a partner get it together people) please keep in mind that I am still a MINOR and all of those posts have an 18+ DNI. 18+ are welcome to interact with every other post, but it's weird and uncomfortable on those kinds of posts. Me posting NSFW adjacent stuff is NOT an excuse to sexually harass me, especially if you are an adult.
[Stats]
Height: 5'4"
SW: >175 lbs
HW: >175 lbs
LW: 128 lbs (probs less let's be honest)
CW: 129 lbs (may will b my month)
UGW: 90 lbs (40 kg)
Bodyfat Percentage: 24.5% (moderately lean/ average)
BMI: 21.5 (Healthy)
[Current goals]
☆UGW by the start of next school year
☆111 lbs by end of/beginning January May (officially underweight for my BMI [18]) (or at least county fair)
[I AM SILLY!!!!!!!!!!!]
#ana bllog#i want to ⭐️ve#@n0r3xia#tw ed diet#ed no sheeran#thinspø#ana trigger#ed not sheeren#4n0r3xia#⭐️ving#tw s3lf harm#s3lf harn#s3lf mutilation#s3lfharmm#@nor3×14#ftm ed#skin&bones#skin&🩻#skin&bonesfightback#skin&🦴
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okay so i actually know very little about the x men but what roles are u thinking of for the party?
OKAY. you have awakened nerd esme. prepare urself. this will be long. sooooo long.
so for context the x men— created in 1963 by stan lee and jack kirby and fictionally brought together by professor x, a wheelchaired mutant with telepathic abilities, were/are mutants. mutants are a different species than humans and are as such treated terribly by them. they have “mutations” which give them powers and shit. they were basically created as parallels to real life bigotry and are hated by the general public (in the marvel verse everyone irl loves them. or i do. )
anyway, the original five were—
angel aka warren worthington III (yes that is his actual name) who had wings on his back. now they’re metal. it’s complicated but not important. he’s basically the token rich boy, blond hair, blue eyes, yeah. total knockout in canon too apparently.
cyclops aka scott summers who had a red laser beam that continuously comes out of his eyes and as such he wears/wore a special visor made out of special ruby glass professor x found for him. quick fun fact he had so low self esteem and was so depressed professor x made him leader out of fear he would fucking kill himself. which is very dark. a bit stoic and pretty much an old man (he canonically watched seinfield). and he’s transmasc to ME.
beast aka hank mccoy who is basically a genius and really strong and stuff. eventually he turns into a literal beast but i’m too sleep deprived to remember how that happened lolol
marvel girl aka jean grey who was the token Girl™️ of the group and who possessed too many abilities to keep track of, and when she has them. she gets fucked up at some point in the chris claremont x men run (which is truly iconic) and becomes possessed by the phoenix force(specifically in issue #134, the issue will wanted in episode one) and becomes like evil and shit. the phoenix force is a cosmic evil being and she becomes *dark* phoenix and it’s a whole thing. also pour one fucking out for her imagine being surrounded by teenage boys and hormones most of whom have a crush on you and being able to read their minds. jean babe i’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through.
and bobby drake aka iceman who has *gasp* ice powers. he’s a bit of the goofball of the group and can turn basically turn himself into ice which is explored more in more recent comics. he’s also been revealed as gay. one small step for mutants i suppose they’re all queer but nobody tell them.
wow that was long! sorry. anyway onto the actual au stuff. my original plan was to make each member of the part correspond to a o5 x men member, but since there are six i thought i’d add one more for max.
mike is cyclops! i think it fits in a special sort of way that i can’t really articulate since they have such different personalities. but just trust me.
el is jean, in the telepathic sense and being surrounded by boys most of the time sense. rip.
dustin is beast. tech savvy, smart, tested different bc of how he looks— it fits. so so well.
again the personalities may not fit on the surface but i think will is iceman. they’re both sort of softer than everyone else, and whole will is quieter it just makes sense to me haha.
uhh so i don’t actually think lucas would be warren… mayhaps i’m still considering… which means i wrote that whole description for basically nothing but i think it’s funny so i’m keeping it there. anyway i think lucas would be… idk. i’m still thinking it over but maybe gambit.
so for max @hellmo suggested rogue who would be great but i’m also still mulling it over. maybe kitty pryde! idk.
technically i think brenner would work as prof x but obviously that’s a no-go so it’s gonna be mr clarke which i like more as concept actually. again, different personalities but i think that’s okay, because the general roles fit. plus i jsut think that dynamic would be fun to explore more.
so sorry this was long and doesn’t really have much au it’s more me seeing x men and going brrr… haha. thanks for the ask tho!!! i enjoyed talking about them :]
#long post#so so long#i’m sorry i nerded out#this au is half an excuse to just talk about the x men#but i do like the concept#rjay💘#x men party au#the party#stranger things#ask#amazing mutuals
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The end of the year is near! Give a shoutout to your favorite blogs and tag them to spread positivity before the year ends!
oh my god can i just slap half of byler tumblr onto here? probably not which is Dumb bc there are so many wonderful people in this community whom i am sending all my love and virtual hugs and tissues to (sorry i made you cry this year).
anyways umm category 5 emotional event incoming:
@astrobei my suni astrobei, my dear beloved, sweet unofficial little sister. you are so talented. so smart. so funny. so kind. and just one of the best people to grace this website. i love how grounded you are, how you make people feel so at ease to talk to you, how humble you are for being one of The Byler Writers Ever, how everybody just is so drawn to you because you are genuine and kind and supportive always. the byler community is so lucky to have you in it, but more importantly (sorry guys this is about me <3), i'm lucky to have you in my life bc you're amazing!!! ilysm!!!!
@wiseatom thea wiseatom, my sweet thea mouse with her bindle oh my GOD, where do i even begin? thea, truly you are one of the absolute best people here, and there is something to be said about how much you love your friends and how caring and gracious and wonderful you are. not to mention you might just be the funniest person i know, like pls i cannot count how many times you've made me laugh. also. i am still NOT OVER i'm caught up in you and i am frothing at the mouth waiting for exes fic because i know it's gonna wreck me in the best way possible, and i just think you're the bestest person ever that's it! <3 ily!!!!
@bookinit02 HAVENNNNNNNNNN. oh my god, you were one of my first friends here, and i remember being so so like nervous and thinking "i hope she doesn't think i'm weird or like bothering her by talking to her!" but i am SO GLAD we became friends because you are just literally one of my dearest friends here, and even if we don't talk super often, i am so so grateful for you and for how funny and kind and thoughtful you are!!! your fics kill me every time. shed scene you will always be famous. duffer brothers get out of the way, just let haven bookinit write the damn show already.
@messrsbyler nic? aka my personal pain in the ass? the demon on my shoulder? ugh god if i say anything nice about you, i feel like i'm going to be sentencing myself to 7 more years in hell with you. can't believe god decided "let's ruin the world and send andi into it," then got bored and said, "let's ruin it some more and send nic into it" a few days later. ok fine i'm done being not nice, stg don't make me regret this. nic, your brain holy shit. the way you understand characters (MIKE) and think of things to share with this community? dear god we're all suffering (in the best way) for it. not to mention i guess you're a nice friend. supportive and stuff. really nice. funny even if you annoy me. stuff like that. can't believe we decided to go feral over atla and now we're stuck in hell together.
@livsmessydoodles LIV LIV LIV MY SUNSHINE SWEET BELOVED LIV!!!!! oh my god, you are the best. literally so talented and so kind and so funny and so encouraging and also just so badass? like ok i'm not on twt anymore (rip to that hellhole) but the way you would so easily fire back at those people who tried to attack you asg jdle l HELP? but then like. you are also just the sweetest and friendliest person ever, and i??? i'm obsessed with you. your art makes me so emotional, and i cry ok. also thanks for putting up with me kicking your door down with sad byler thoughts. love you so so much.
@kidovna bhavna. ok. words cannot describe how much i adore you. you are literally one of the most talented people i have ever met in my life, so much so that i gush to my irl friends and family about your artwork and how cool i think you are. but more than that, you are truly just one of the most encouraging and most humble and one of the kindest people in our little byler fandom! i love how i constantly see you cheering others on and how i see you working with others and putting things together that make the community so excited (spider-will my beloved, thank you and every person who made this possible). your art never fails to make me smile and feel things, and i am sooooo lucky and grateful i get to call you my dear friend!
@elekinetic this is my official petition to put ella elekinetic in charge of stranger things 5. because hello. screenwriting. holy shit? holy shit. holyyyyy shit. ella, you are truly one of the most talented people i know, and usually, i read incredibly quickly because that's my default, but when i read your scripts i always take them so slow. i am like holding my breath in anticipation, feeling every single emotion, and i swear to you it's like i'm watching the show. and then on top of that you're just? one of the nicest people ever? literally i'm obsessed with you. thanks for coming to my tedtalk on why ella is the best.
@strangeswift abby abby abby abby!!!!! my stranger things x taylor swift partner in crime, you are THE BEST. god one of the highlights of the last few weeks of this year has been getting to know you because you're just such a joy to be around and to talk to. you have THE BEST takes on byler and on taylor swift, and i love how unabashedly nerdy i can be about this with you. also, i constantly see you on the tag just encouraging other people within this community, and look, i think that's really just such a special thing and is a testament to what an amazing person you are.
@toystoryfan TOY OH MY GOD. petition to make toy The Byler of the year please? because there is nobody i see lifting people up, making people smile, and brightening others' days like toy does. you are one of the most thoughtful and kind people i know. there is just a warmth and positivity to you that is SO wonderful, and it never fails to make me smile. i am hereby naming you sunshine incarnate and naming myself sunshine protector bc if anyone ever is mean to you, i'll end them.
@eightieslesbian MADDYYYYYYY. okay maddy, literally like i said with abby, one of the highlights of the last couple weeks of this year has been getting to chat with you and getting to know you!!! you are literally one of the sweetest people ever and also HELLO GIFSETS? THE GIFSET MAKER? OKAY. YEAH. THE COOLEST. plus our love for merlin has been resurrected (unlike arthur pendragon oof), and i love that for us. you always brighten my day whenever i see you around the tag, and i'm SO GLAD WE'RE FRIENDS <3
@smoosnoom MOON!!!!! a byler god among humans. the quality of fics that you put out is just absolutely outstanding? like i swear you don't miss, and i so appreciate how much thought and love and intention you put into your writing!!! literally top tier writing. and on top of that, you're incredibly sweet and so positive, so big win for the byler community that we have moon in it!!
@rotisserie5107 RORI!!!!!! rori oh my god, it's you and toy i swear. first off, you never fail to make me giggle when i see your tags or your comments because i swear you have the funniest commentary. rori comments are some of my favorite comments. i love how easygoing and friendly and funny you are and how easily you just vibe with everyone here? you're also SUCH an incredibly supportive and kind person, which makes this fandom an even better place. i return to work this week and i will be listening to ethel cain soon, so i will return to you with thoughts and feelings. 🫡
@wibble-wobbegong WIBBLE. ok i'm glad this ask came around bc i have been meaning to just stumble over into your asks and say this, but i'll do it here. wibble, first off, you're SO incredibly smart and do SUCH a wonderful job at analyzing the show and all its nuances. like bless you and your ministry. but second off, more than that (and not that the show and the fandom isn't important, but look there's also more to life than stranger things lmao), i can say without a doubt that you are truly one of the kindest people in the byler community. you always come across as so humble and so welcoming and so kind, which i think is often lacking (because it is the internet lmao), so it's always such a breath of fresh air to see you on my dash! also legit one of the funniest people ever ok?!!
god okay. that was so many people, and i could go on and on and on (and i have half a mind to just reblog this and add more people to it) because there are so so so so many people not on this list that i could gush about... but i'm hungry and probably need to go eat something since i skipped dinner last night. so that's it, thanks for making my 2022 brighter!!!
#andi's asks#you guys never ask someone whose top language is words of affirmation#and who literally cannot stop talking#to say nice things about her friends#because i will never ever EVER shut up#i kept going and being like and and and oh no SHIT I HAVE MORE TO SAY
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My tumblr and online life history. If you even care (it’s long and rambling I’m bored on a plane)
[pretend there is a read more button here and just keep scrolling]
I got a tumblr summer of 2011 bc my brother kept showing me #fresh memes and around that time my online activity was scrolling endlessly though canihazcheeseburger network of meme sites. I was 17 so lol 12 years…
it started with memes and fandom type gifsets (and following some irls) but after a year or so I completely entered my #sjw era and nothing a decade ago is perfect but I’m always vaguely thankful for tumblr putting me in that direction
in 2015 I got frustrated and locked myself out of my account on purpose and then could not reverse it the next day because I changed the email to an email yahoo decided to delete lol.
I made a new account soon after but exclusively for following and reblogging steven universe stuff but I ended up becoming more and more general again after a few months… I remember so much mess and drama but I also never directly talked to any of those people so it was just a one person stomach ache time
Got really into taz in my last quarter of college in the summer (monster factory a few months before) and this was what made me start a twitter in 2016… I never talked to people directly online before as much except a handful of mutuals (hi if you’re still on here) so slowly joining in that was fun! Also messy I saw all of the highs and lows of taz fandom, made and lost friends (mostly from the periphery of a group but a handful of direct breaks lol) and in that actual play space I had friends get into friends at the table… I listened to a few eps of counter/weight and could Not keep it going so when twilight mirage was starting it was a good opportunity to follow along instead of a backlog. Also finally realized I was slowly iv rating to tweeting full time rip
Also 2017 I made a few fatt friends but I was scared to talk to the fandom bc I still liked taz a lot and fatt fans you know how we are (I too am like that now) but anyways I had like 10 followers to my name and nothing to lose so I started posting more in 2018 and I have gained lifelong friends in the fandom since :’) I feel like twilight mirage was such a contentious era so I got really close with my #tmstan friends and all the stress of that time is a memory now….
I did listen to almost every season eventually but I did fall off of keeping up with fatt 2021/2022 I think (so sorry sangfielle)
unexpected side plot of my life is loona and kpop in general. I was vaguely into loona from seeing stuff on tumblr in 2018 and something clicked for me with the butterfly comeback in 2019, as in it was the first time I was watching performances on music shows and it was really cool to me and I also had no idea what was going to happen to me (the great 2019 loona hiatus) and I slowly was starting to follow kpop liking accounts outside of a handful of tumblr people I followed on twitter and unfortunately the hiatus made me check out other groups and I love the music (loved…? It’s still good when it’s good but it’s not always good) and understood too much about the minutia behind the industry but I also made more lifelong friends (I hope? Hi carbs)
Kpop era coincides with my not listening to sangfielle era but I think my attention span was shot and all I wanted to do was fill my head with music…
Wait okay I had also a career change (don’t worry about that) and also got really into final fantasy xiv. So that’s another era of my life that is neither fatt or kpop. I was gaming so much and I love my cat girl and my catboy wife. I started right before endwalker dropped and now I’m too caught up but I was solidly playing for 2 years straight. I’m playing Zelda for now but I’m almost done
Okay anyways fatt season palisade started up earlier this year and my fatt era is back in full swing. Went to a fatt friends’ wedding this april. Palisade is really good every week. And now twitter is dying so I have returned to Blog for Real. I’ll post my cohost hear if I end up there more lol
#about me I guess#before tumblr I would frequent one manga forums#pokespe forum#Facebook I guess#neopets#random free games#I was always hashtag lurking and got really confused by interpersonal drama#what do you mean you’re on a Pokémon forum and are dating but also broke up
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For the ‘So Many Ideas’ post about WIPs, I’d love to hear about any ideas you have for the stuff listed in the post!!!
THANK YOU FOR THE ASK ! ! ! ! AHHHHHHHH I love a good excuse to talk about the feral ideas that are constantly scratching at the cat posts of my brain. I am going to ramble (as per usual......my apologies) so putting my answers below the cut.
Fics I want to write
All of the fics I write are ones I want to write, so this category is a bit funny. But I REALLY want to write a very dorky and self-indulgent Tokyo BayoJeanne rivals fic where they play competitive Splatoon. LMAO. I don't know if I ever will, because it is so ridiculously niche and silly.....but the idea is floating around currently. Jeanne is a Splatana Wiper Deco main and her backup is the fucking Bamboozler (ANNOYING TRYHARD MOMENTS). Bayo mains Dark Tetra Dualies and her backup is the Dynamo Roller. They spend entire matches just trying to kill each other, much to the chagrin of their teams. They meet IRL and are like. Oh she's hot. Oh no. OH nooooooooooo. Their first date is bowling which is way too fucking competitive and they end up making out in the bowling alley's shitty arcade. Love wins.
Fics I want to read
Lumen Bayo. I want this fic so badly as something I could just sit down and devour. In an ideal world, this fic would be written together by dubhgloinne, Dikhotomia, and Wilmaa and I would sob and scream and bite my hand until it bled at every chapter. Alas. They are not writing it, *I* am, so I will do my best to emulate the things they all do fabulously well and translate it to my own style. Part of why this fic is so daunting is because it is something I want primarily to read, and I am not sure if I can pull off the actual writing haha. We shall see.
Also a BayoJeanne coffeeshop AU. How the hell does this fandom not have one yet (as far as I am aware). I have started writing it but.....I know nothing about coffee. Or tea for that matter. So I will probably never finish writing this one. Someone else, PLEASE. I FUCKING BEG. BAYOJEANNE COFFEESHOP MEET CUTE ! ! ! !
There is just One Scene and I could write it but it would be waaaay more cool if I had all the build up to the scene but unfortunately. I can only figure out the Scene
Oh god. I have one tiny snippet of scene for a sequel to my orpheus fic, where Jeanne and Bayonetta have a full fight over Jeanne's over-protectiveness ..... but it would hit harder if I properly set it up and properly let them cope. It has been sitting in my drafts for months. I may never finish it. But I want to.
I keep changing my mind. Where am I going with this
Fun fact - last year I started planning what was supposed to be my first proper multi-chapter (side-eyes DH) set post Bayo 2, where Jeanne and Bayo would manage to bring a small cohort of witches back to life accidentally due a failsafe put in place by the Umbran Elder. But I was worried I was veering too close to some of the amazing ideas andthatisterrible has explored in their Endlings series and couldn't stop changing my mind on what to do with it. I have since abandoned it. I came up with an OC for it (a butch Umbra named Calliope) that I was IN LOVE WITH. She appears briefly in my blood and darkness fic, but this would have been her chance to shine. Alas. RIP to her.
This has been done a million times before. But. Hear me out
Jeanne and Bayo falling in love post Bayo 1. I have written this fic twice before, a million other people have written it, and yet here I am doing it a third time. But here me out. t4t BayoJeanne falling in love. DO YOU SEE THE VISION.
I will 100% Never Write This. This is just my Emotional Support Idea no one can ever know about bc it makes sense only to me
This used to be my t4t bayojeanne fic, but cringe is dead and I am free so I am actually writing it and will post it someday. I don't think I have any current ideas that fit this category.
Would be better as a comic...
I have had this idea pinging around in my head about Umbran hair rituals since last May (and playing Origins has only made it worse) but I think because so much of it is about feeling and vibes it would make for a much prettier and more impactful comic. I can't draw though so. RIP. I will probably break down some of these ideas and incorporate them into other fics though.
This will be my magnum opus if I can just get my 50 pages of ideas into a coherent narrative
Lumen Bayo. God please. Praying I can pull it off. I love it so so so so so much.
All I have are vibes
Eldritch horror Bayonetta, who gets a hold of both Eyes of the World and uses them to prevent Jeanne from ever dying. She becomes a god and loses her humanity in the process, and Jeanne is horrified (both by what her lover has become for her, and because she still loves her despite it all). My favorite Mass Effect fic of all time plays with a similar idea/theme, so I am drawing inspiration from it. But I only have vibes, not a real plot. It will probably be pretty experimental.....if I could write it in a similar style to this fucking incredible fic by Dikhotomia that would be epic. One day. ONE DAY.
WIP I started and haven't updated in 2 years and oh god its beEN TWO YEARS???
LMAO. It was this fic but since I finished it I don't have any other WIPs that have been sitting stagnant for more than four months. The other ideas pinging around my brain right now are Origins focused (I have a longer Morgana/Rosa endgame Origins AU fic in the works, but who knows when that will see the light of day.
ANYWAY. Hope this was interesting?
#asks#moth writes#THANK YOU FOR THE ASK SPOOKY AHHHH IT WAS FUN TO PARSE OUT SOME OF THIS#I am very normal about my ideas (lying through clenched teeth)
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15 questions meme
considering myself tagged by @st-louis
nickname: i have a bunch of internet nicknames haha, if you follow me on twitter or we've ever actually talked you probably know what names i use irl
sign: aries
height: 5'2 if i'm being optimistic
last thing i googled: eihl standings
song stuck in my head: nothing currently! until a few months ago for work-related reasons i always had something stuck in my head, usually either abba or songs from barney the dinosaur
amount of sleep: about 6 or 7 hours last night, probably slightly less tonight bc i'm currently watching the start of the habs game
dream job: fuck knows, the last couple years of my life have been a time of randomly (& occasionally on impulse) trying interesting stuff and it's working out pretty well so far but i have no idea what i want to do next, let alone dream job type ideas
wearing: grey carhartt trousers (proper workwear ones from when i was still working on the farm, ripped in places & repaired), blue t-shirt w polar bear design, sweatshirt with this like purple alien planet/storm print and then shiny silver outlines of space fighter jets (i am describing this terribly. it's a great jumper)
movies/books that summarize you: i have no idea how to answer this haha. uhhh... when i was a kid i loved the pern books (mostly the menolly books but then i read all the other ones the library had) and i feel like this summarizes *something* about me! also i have watched the movie pride (2015) an entirely normal number of times. also there is this doctor who spinoff series that *nobody* has watched but teeange me was so obsessed with it but it was cancelled after one series and sometimes i feel like i imagined it because nobody ever talks about it and - i am stopping here so i don't go on a proper ramble. no idea what about me that summarised but yeah!
favorite song: i don't really listen to music unless it's like something a friend has sent me or something?
instrument: i am deeply unmusical (see above)
aesthetic: either cottagecore (or just straight up farmer) butch or... idk how to describe my other aesthetic but it features some of the more wearable cyberdog stuff, like the sweatshirt mentioned above
favorite author: idk??
random fun fact: did you know that there are internationally agreed colours for the colour-coding of queen bees? it cycles through five colours with one colour each year, and many beekeepers mark the queens with a little dot of (bee-safe!) paint on their bodies the colour for the year they're from. this makes it easier to spot the queen in the hive and also lets you identify how old she is!
(nobody said the fun fact had to be about me haha)
also i'm watching hockey and forgot to tag anyone, if you want to do this i tag you!
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THAT'S GOOD!! im doing okay too haha just surviving junior year is a PAIN but we gonna steamroll right through (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ ohno senioritis rip praying for u 😔🙏 OMG WAIT MY BDAY IS REALLY SOON TOO??!?!? hold up. 😳 yes i read tags so OMG slay yeona go get that boy 🤗!! -☁
HI CLOUD ANON MY FAV i'm gonna give u a long response on this one bc i don't wanna spam u w replies but!!!
I HOPE UR STILL STEAMROLLING THRU HI HELLO!!!!! thanku i am literally just running on pure caffeine until december but for now we r surviving altho maybe not thriving... WOAH???? libra twins(?) that's so cool if it's alr passed happy belated bday!! and if not happy early bday <3<3
update on the loml unfortunately he did friendzone me WHILE i was at the enha concert so that was a really fun moment of my life but we're still friends and altho i'm not completely over it yet (bc we still talk every day and walk to class together hahahahha sobbing my eyes out) i'm kind of okay w it it's not a big deal......... 😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵
BUT YES THE ENHA CONCERT one of the best nights of my life if we ignore the Other stuff that happened!!!! SHOUT OUT TWO TIMES IN A ROW NEARLY TOOK ME OUT i left this plane of existence good god i still cannot believe they're real people. and also their mics were on and their vocals were insane????? especially jungwon heeseung sunoo sunghoon okay i'm just listing all of them atp ALL OF THEIR VOCALS. AND THEIR DANCING IRL. just wow
thank u endlessly for sending me these asks they truly do make my day wnv i see them altho i don't check in here as much as of late... if u ever do decide to make a tumblr pls don't hesitate to shoot me a dm or even j send me an ask i would love to be mutuals on ig or twt or somewhere i'm more active!! i love u and i hope u have the best day <3
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YEAH BEING ON ANON FOR A WHILE WILL BE FUN and i did stay up like a lot last night but don't worry about it im actually super used to doing that LMAO alright ALRIGHT TIME FOR THE QUESTIONS oh lord you cant add a read more in asks. uh. sorry to all aqua followers HSJSHSJHS
1- i think we share like a Lot of fandoms actually! basing this off of your extended media you know rentry btw. UHM im a huge huge fan of prsk, honkai star rail, tbhk, bsd, milgram, vocaloid, undertale/deltarune and i think that's it? i wont go into much detail about other fandoms im in because one specific interest of mine could give away the whole answer to my mystery to some of our shared mutuals JSHSHSHDH but aside from that one im also into enstars bandori and some other rhythm games! not really sure what else to add to that list honestly i forgot everything i have ever liked in my life, i also have many irls from those medias :3
2- honestly? i have been having the biggest labels crisis of my life these past few weeks so pronouns aren't something i really have the ability to specify rn, just use whatever you feel like at the moment and i will be more than happy! curious to see what your perception of my gender ends up being so i can get closer to an answer to my, uhm, current dilemma! HSJSHSHJSJSJ
3- OH UH ITS ALL VOCALOID I THINK i can't really say i have specific artists i like outside of that... maybe will wood and that's, really it. aside from just those two its all specific songs from different artists yeah. BUT IT'S DIFFERENT WITH VOCALOID BECAUSE I CAN KINDA DISCERN WHICH PRODUCERS I LISTEN TO MORE! also some utaites i listen to like a looot, one example is Ado! onto vocaloid producers my favorites ever are Syudou (producer of Usseewa!) and Van De Shop (producer of Pheles!), aside from those two i listen to like a lot more just not with that much frequency (its mostly just one specific song or songs i like from those producers. yeah)
4- i have like a gazillion but lately i have grown very attached to periwinkle blue!
5- FOR LIKE A MONTH OR SO? I HONESTLY DONT REMEMBER JSSHSJSSHJSH as for the reasons... in many ways i realized we are like extremely similar (mostly with the yearning and the love and all that yknow) and that just made me start feeling more and more attracted to you because hey! she gets almost all of the things i experience! and well here we are now
6- i can confidently say fried chicken is my favorite food in this whole wide world, as for sweet stuff im kinda. basic. yeah its chocolate HSJSHSJSHDH
- 💌 anon (honestly sometimes i get scared i might end up not pressing the anon button and then ruin the whole surprise. eek!)
LMAOOOO it's ok the mewtuals will forgive uu . they have to or else /silly j
although WOWW OMG YEAH WE DO SEEM KINDA SIMILAR ?? W taste in media and music and colors (<- loves blue . is it obvious ehe) and wowow for like a month . . . wowowowow . . . . that's honestly impressive n kinda endearing wow <3
also i'll purrobably be defaulting to they/them i suppose since idk . for me . i can't rlly assume genders esp for beings i know online ? like my brain soorta can sometimes but other times just . nope . n i can't rlly think if uu give me more masc or fem or just neu vibes . . . like loveletter anon is loveletter anon . to me . y'know . but i hope uu figure out uur identity soon , lol , i know questioning can be kinda eeeh to go through (<- started calling myself genderqueer/multigenderqueer to avoid trying to find out any specifics bc i'm just Me and i'm just Queer Of Gender and other than that idfk lol)
also fried chicken is so good . . . i can't rlly handle bone-in stuff bc of my sensory issues (icky gross for my brain) but flavor-wise it's soo good omg . i just have to like , cut/rip it off of the bone before i eat it . and chocolate is a simple but rlly good pick honestly . it's like 90% of the sweets i eat bc ice cream takes freezer space , baked goods need to actually be made , etc etc . . . ooo wait i'm curious do uu like dark , milk or white better . purrsonally i like dark n milk :3
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as a writer myself too, i definitely get the frustration of writer's block. ur better than me tho could never write fiction this good. if it's a script maybe i can stumble my way towards it but like- prose, prose??? scary stuff HAHAHHA. i'm wayyy more used to writing features, editorial and stuff like that so writing creatively paralyzes me fr probs should get over it HAHAHHA
speaking of writing tho, recently got my first ever job (full time over the summer and part time when i get back to school!) helping this creator write content for a website she's launching and probs gonna be helping her with her podcast too hehe (i'm also more of a broadcast person too over like publication writing so that's gonna be fun). so life's been reallyyyy busy. like i started preparing for freelance work since may and after like- 11 applications so glad i finally got a job but damn being paid to do something is a whole different kind of pressure. doing my best but sometimes i'm scared it won't be good enough and i'll just get fired HAHAHAH the days are starting to get blurry too bc i've kinda just been cooped up at home. anddd been trying to ✨adult✨ too by getting my driver's license, tax number, social security and all that but ghad with a job? idt i'll have the time to fix all that anymore. and i'm hoping to take the topik too so :">
times like this are when im rlly glad i got dream. like they rlly just give me that energy boost HAHAHAH (AND WITH THE NEW COMEBACK SOON??? AHHHH) r they like that for u too? i swear this is the first time i've wanted to get a tattoo for an artist like woah
oh and SPEAKING OF i was in the manila concert day 1 all the way in the farthest section. actually got really determined to work bc of that experience bc i am determined to go both days vip the next time they're in manila HAHAHHA. happy to say i'll most likely earn enough to do that by next month hehe. gonna treat myself for the hard work by getting mark's bubble HAHAHHA
haven't gotten to reading the new renjun fic updates (unless my eyes are deceiving me and i read that wrong & there r not updates) but! i'm rlly looking forward to it. hoping both of us have enough writing juices to finish up the things we're working on HAHAHHA. and i hope you're doing well with school or work or whatever your doing too! and when things get tough hope u have a support system there for ya :>
anywayy i'll go skidaddle now HAHHAHA worked 8hrs today so 💀 byee
(p.s. by any chance do u have any plans of writing any series for mark? would KILL to have ur writing bring his character to life if not that's SUPERRRR chill too frfr jus curious hehe)
frm the biggest phatest markf,
-covid anon 🤒 HAHAHAH
you calling my 'ripping my hair out slamming words into the keyboard at 1am' writing prose is such a huge compliment my dear covid anon, you have no idea. never in my life have i considered anything ive written to be like... serious... because i just enjoy writing about a bunch of singin dancin boys, but. i do put an obscene (and embarrassing) amount of care and work and thought into this little fanfiction thing and i just. thank you? blowing kisses all the way to your timezone
anddd been trying to ✨adult✨ too by getting my driver's license, tax number, social security and all that but ghad with a job? idt i'll have the time to fix all that anymore. and i'm hoping to take the topik too so :">
GODDAMN! you have your plate full, but frankly those are all really, really good and important and STRONG steps towards adulting!! you're further than me, i dont have my license yet (haven't even started, rahh, uber is my best friend) but whenever i come on here i think of you, covid anon, so hearing this makes me feel like an irl just told me they accomplished something big LOL i'm actually so happy for you. these are big steps. AND THE NEW CB IS ALREADY FUCKING ME UP! IDGAF RENJUN IN THAT LITTLE PAPERBOY CAP, LEAVE ME ALONE LEAVE ME ALONE I'M UNWELL!!!!!! today the second theme dropped (idk if you'll see this on the same day as i send it) with the energy drinks and such, and the fuckig... neon concept...!!!!!!!! i wanted to get a tattoo for my bts era like a 7 or something like that on a very tiny part of my body but then i remembered how i genuinely thought i would be a 5sos fan forever and i was like 'lets hold off on that very, very permanent decision lmfao'
AND TO ANSWER YOUR MARK QUESTION! you messaging me this actually did make me go through all of my potential wips (all.... very very many of them) and one that i found for mark that i'm actually still very interested in is an exchange student concept! little plot: mc is a part of a university exchange student program, and with that comes staying with a host family; the uni that mc is from does it in a raffle/blind matching style where you get put with a family who's profile matches with yours best, and mc gets.... the lee family! with eldest brother and vaguely famous rockstar taeyong, awkward and endearing middle child mark lee, and the night and day '00 twins'; sunshine incarnate lee donghyuck, and 'doesn't speak unless spoken to' lee jeno!!! it takes place over six months in the summer to autumn season, the first semester; and love blooms in the damndest places!
if this sounds like something you'd like, maybe i could fandangle this for my next wip...? winky face
anyway i love you lots covid anon, i hope your adulting goes on without a hitch!!!! until you message again <3
#dojun talks#dojun answers#covid anon#AGAIN! sorry it took me so long to reply to this i be... workin and sleepin and such
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I know this isn’t a Chris evans account lol, but am I the only one that gets the ick from his new relationship??? I mean, he’s 41 and she’s fucking 25. And I get that they’re both “consenting adults”, it’s not like I’m trying to claim he’s a pedo or anything like that, but it doesn’t erase the fact that he’s old enough to be her dad. Like the pap pics and videos of them together look like an uncle out with his niece or something. Also the fact that he’s a way bigger name than her, has more money/fame…it just makes it even more icky. I guess it’s not as bad cause this is the first time he’s dated so young, so it’s not like it’s a pattern with him, but still, it’s strange. I also hate the argument of “well he’s in the industry so it’s normal/fine”. Being “in the industry” doesn’t excuse it. Just imagine all the people he meets and gets to interact with on a daily basis through his work! Chris Evans could pretty much have whoever he wants. You’re telling me he couldn’t find ANYONE in their thirties or closer to his age to connect with or be with?! It’s such a red flag. And the fact that I know she’s 25…but she looks much younger than that , like 18🥴. And a lot of ppl have been saying “well he’s said he wants kids so maybe he just wants a younger woman to have kids with”…. as if a 30 year old can’t have kids??? Yes fertility starts to decline with age, but not THAT soon. 30 year old women are very much still fertile lmao. I also hate the argument of “well young girls/20 year olds fans online are constantly fantasizing about him, so they have no right to judge”. Like HELLO?! A young fan having a harmless crush on an older actor is not remotely comparable to said actor pursuing someone in real life that is significantly younger than them. That argument is so dumb. Anyway, I’ve been so afraid to say this stuff in the cevans fandom bC everyone will just be like “you’re just jealous that it’s not you!!” Which is not true at all. I’ve supported/been fine with all his other relationships, but this one gives me the ick. I’ve never like big age gap relationships, bC some of my friends irl have been in them, and they’ve not gone well. So I guess it’s a personal experience thing. I’ve always liked Chris, but I’m not going to lie, this has turned me off a bit and I’ve lost some respect for him. Pls don’t hate me for this lol, I just wanted a sage space to share my opinion where i know I won’t be ripped to shreds like the cevans fandom
No one should hate on anyone who candidly expresses their opinion. It's a diverse world and people have different perspectives. What makes someone happy might be someone else's idea of hell.
I had no idea who Chris was dating so I went and had a look, she looks like a baby compared to him. People usually prefer to judge the women involved saying "oh but they are willingly dating these guys out of interest", while I am sure some do, some are young and in love and let's all put themselves in their place, I'll use myself as an example. When I was ridiculously young, I had the biggest crush on Jensen, let's use our imaginations now, let's say Jensen was into me and did everything in his power to sweep me off my feet. Him being my ideal, do you really think I wouldn't have fallen? Especially since he would have the advantage of being older and much less naive than me so he could probably manipulate me easily. My point is some of these women fall in love because those men were their ideal to begin with. So before judging consider your own celebrity crushes, just because you eventually become a celebrity yourself doesn't mean you become immune to your ideals.
So I don't judge these women without first finding out what they are all about. Because I know that when you are deeply in love with someone you can get blindsided and if they are anything like me and believe powerfully in love, they are probably just looking to find their "fairytale" ending.
I really hate it when people throw tags on women easily, sure some are gold diggers like Danneel Ackles but some are just young and in love.
I agree with you, relationships with huge gaps don't work unless there is true love there. Unfortunately, most people pat men on the back for always looking for fresh meat and call the women wh****. Older men are always looking for younger women and derailing their life.
That being said, I hope Chris is different and yes, his girlfriend looks much younger (she stars in Warrior Nun, I believe?) and, personally, unless there is true love there on both sides, I am deeply offput by men who seek out much younger women. Leo di Caprio is another example and people often like to blame the women. Not saying some don't date him for fame or whatever but this doesn't mean we should encourage sociopathic tendencies such as only viewing women as objects and discarding them once they "expire".
I know this is an unpopular opinion but it's my mine so feel free to ignore anything that doesn't resonate and thank you for being vulnerable. I am sorry to hear that even within the Evans fandom people try to police opinions. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having preferences and, at the end of the day, people should do what makes them happy. I could never, ever date someone younger than me, just as I could never trust someone older than me. That's just me, someone else might be completely different and that's fine. It doesn't mean we should ignore our intuition and reasoning so my advice is, if you are into someone older then please make sure that person truly loves you, don't derail your life over someone who's just looking to use you.
Sorry, Anon, I hijacked your post with my thoughts. 😊 Please know you are not alone in your perception, I look deeply into older men's motivations when I see them date younger women and I even have friends that married young to older men, it's a miserable path because that person gets your youth and the best of you and might not exactly be into you for all the right reasons. Not saying all relationships of that type are that way but we definitely should be balanced and cautious.
Sending you a big hug, sorry you had a not so ideal experience within the fandom.
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THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY S3
So I understand Allison and her grieving and all that loss happened in a matter of a few years for her but like wtf. At the same time tho I’ve seen people irl around me go through some shit and everyone just deals with stuff different and ig as someone who would always get what she wanted with a single sentence I can see her frustration it getting ripped away. At the same time tho you could also apply a lot of the same shit to the other like Vicktor lost 63’ Sissy and Harlan in a matter of days and even so Viktors whole character arc and development in the show has only taken place in like 2-4 months. Also if she fucking listened to any of what five says about time ever then she could’ve been more prepared for an unknown future idk Im just ranting bc she was a hypocrite about how Viktor doesn’t have to answer for his actions but Allison has been doing that her whole life literally rumoring her way into whatever she wanted until she chose to actually face them after she lost custody of Claire and got her throat slit but even now in the end her arc ends in her STILL NOT ANSWERING FOR HER ACTIONS. She gets everything she wants and I guess it’s so the show can give everyone kinda happy endings but what a bitch move preaching about how Viktor has to answer for what he’s done like this dude only found out about his powers like a week ago (for a second time) who is also very inexperienced with his found powers and it trying to make things right with Harlan (bc to him Harlan is essentially his found kid bc he wanted a family and a life with Sissy which ultimately got ripped away from him)
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I’m in a mood tonight skdhsjdhjd
#not being able to take my sleep meds for three nights now def has something to do with it#I don’t want anyone irl to even think about me rn akdhskdhsndhjdhd#I’m so lucky to be diagnosed and to be able to take my medications#my quality of life would plummet if I couldn’t#and like there’s lifestyle changes that help but they’re really a supplement to my meds. I need them to function.#hopefully I’ll get them tomorrow. they’ve been delayed bc of a winter storm.#I’m so tired rip#em talks#sedative mention#sleep disorder mention#and I’m supposed to be at a friend’s apartment early in the morning to study for an exam 😭#and we have a fieldwork meeting in between classes tomorrow so I need to pack a lunch#but I don’t want to move 😭😭😭 and I also have to clean the stuff I used today to pack food#I’m so ☹️😖😔#I’m cryin a lil#I hate this so much.#when people tell me that they would never have thought I have a disability if I didn’t tell them#1) most people aren’t going to see the signs unless they’re looking for it. and even if they do look for it#people with disabilities learn to assimilate and mask their limitations#2) people don’t really know a lot about sleep disorders like they’re so underdiagnosed#and many medical professions don’t learn a lot about them unless they specialize in them#3) like I said I’m lucky to have found a combo of meds and other strategies that help me function as well as I can#I still can’t do everything I’d like to#anyway I’m just so freaking tired. my whole body feels like lead. I hate this. I haven’t felt it this bad in years. since high school when#I wasn’t diagnosed yet#if you have problems sleeping pls see a doctor. or take the epworth sleepiness scale. trust your body.#I got lucky that my PCP even asked about my sleep and that I had a renowned neurologist near me#anyway I have an appt tomorrow so I can cry to the NP that I see for this#okay I’ve gotta get up and do stuff btw#also apparently tumblr is only allowing 30 tags now. methinks that’s ridiculous. like why???????? wHY????????
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it’s spooky movie time and evidently i MUST see malignant, right now
#unfortunately i do not do movie theatres still. like i technically Could but. bleh#so i'm gonna have to wait bc i do not have hbo or whatever it is#or find alternate means.... or whatever#i mean really what i need to do is write a thesis but meh. i have 38 pages not counting score examples so we're getting there#still need like ~4-8 pages of scene analysis and a conclusion and some editing of stuff i wrote last summer#to stretch it out bc it feels pretty uh laconic compared to the way i'm writing things up now#and to actually get this score lol which is now about to be in a library near me(!) & thus within my grasp at long last#anyway. malignant was not on my radar until some guy on hinge mentioned it in one of those cryptic 'it's an experience!' ways yk#and i looked up the trailer and it looks campy as fuck which is exactly what i need in my life i think#i mean. not that 'campy as fuck' is always great [stares pointedly @ music i am analyzing for said thesis] but still#would much rather have that sort of thing than like slow meaningful stuff since i couldn't rly get into eg mids0mmar or it foll0ws#also i feel bad being like 'some guy on hinge' bc i suppose hinge is for 'actual relationships' & the like but he really is some guy#like we're talking but it's sort of a 3-5 business days situation and all 'same here what about you' yk#idk why i'm even on there tbh since all of my social energy & limited time is intentionally going to my finally-irl friendships#but oh well it is still a way to mine movie recs from hot people & thus worthwhile. anyway yeah might watch that soon#(rip; another one for the post:tag ratio books)#carol overreacts to life
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oh the vibes today?
#irl#lord this week has JUST been wakin up to anxiety attacks and its NOT fun!!!!! im NOT HAVING FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!#im just gunna. do homework for the next four days and phase out of this mortal plane a little#starts astral projecting to go and chat with the moon and she holds me in her big round self and tells me everything is going to be okay#i get to write my terror essay.............. that will be good#motion graphic im also hype about frame by frame is a wild exciting new world#my guy feiri magazine is PRACTICALLY done he just wants me to play with textures#FINISHED inforgraphic-- need to work on sequential thumbnails for the next project but ill just do making bastardized turkish coffee probabl#life drawing will probably just be sketchbook again but i should ask around#i have to reprint my dumb typography for jill bc i cant keep anything neat to save my life#i should go in on tuesday for that and have my motion graphic done by then#AND have the new dnd stuff all planned out in a lot of capacities#they want a mystery which is always harder to write BUT should be a lot of fun to play so#AND FINALLY i have to work thru my emotions around resume and cover letter and references and just get them done#which is just gunna rip me up a little bit BUT#hopefully no more stress dreams about my grandfather hating me!!!!!
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