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darkphilosophies · 9 months

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Eris x Reader SFW Headcanons

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

When you first met him, he was a stone-cold bastard, and you could never understand how someone who wields fire could have ice in his veins. Then he touched you for the first time, and his hands were warm and soft, the touch so delicate it was barely a whisper of one. Soon, you found out that he hates showing affection in public but will lavish you with it when you are alone. His hand would often caress your arm, and his fingers would draw circles on your skin until it prickles, then he would kiss it and pull you into his embrace. He loves having you in his lap, even when he has a mountain of work laying on his desk. He loves your warmth and your presence above all.

B = Beginning (How would the relationship start?)

You hated him, and he couldn’t stop reminding you just how much of an asshole he was. Then one day, you found yourself in a forest cornered by five nagas, and just when you thought that would be the end of you, Eris appeared and ripped them apart with his bare hands. He looked up at you after, blood dripping down his usually pristine suit, and growled, “How about you learn to fight, my lady?”. You didn’t answer, yet the next day, a neatly packed training clothes appeared on your bed along with a note that read, “In the training ring at sundown.” You went.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Eris might love his hounds, but he bears more resemblance to the cat that one day strolled in your suit. He loves to cuddle but on his own terms. He would often pull you into his arms and hold you for a while or would have you rest on his chest while he reads a book in bed. The moment you decide to hold him, though, he sneaks away. You were annoyed at first, but then you slowly realized how difficult it was for him to receive affection when he never had before.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He doesn’t cook, but he will bring you wild Autumn berries every time he goes hunting. When he inevitably drags you along on his hunt, he would roast whatever he caught, and it would usually taste way better than you would like to admit. He doesn’t clean either, but he is so neat he doesn’t have to. Everything he owns has a place, and he loves to have his rooms in order. When you first moved in, he had a small existential crisis because you love chaos and as he often likes to say, “you must have invented messiness.”

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If he picks you, and you pick him, there is no going back or breaking up.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

The moment he saw you, he knew you were the one he wanted to spend his life with; everything else was just him waiting for you to catch up. The moment you did, he whisked you to the temple and made you his.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

You have seen him rip his enemies to shreds, you have seen him torture prisoners for information, you have seen him threaten misbehaving courtiers, and you have never even for a second expected that a male like him could be so gentle. Yet he is always kind to you, always polite and sweet. He compliments you often and brings you small gifts every day. He loves to help you with all the buttons of your dress and the laces of your boots, but most of all, he loves to scoop you off the settee when you fall asleep reading and carry you to the bed, peppering your face with tiny featherlike kisses.

H = Humour (Do they like to make jokes? How often do they do it? What are their jokes like?)

When you first met him, you thought he was mean, now you know he hides his true self behind his snarky remarks. He doesn’t truly joke or laugh much, and if something is very funny, he might curve his lips in amusement, but never a smile. The first time he let out a full-blown laugh was at one of your jokes, and you could swear the sight of him laughing was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes him a while, just because he had never said it before. He knows the feeling because he loves a lot and loves deeply, but it’s an effort to admit it out loud, an effort for the words to roll down his tongue.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He is very jealous and possessive, but he never shows it. If you pay attention, you might notice his eyes never leaving you or his mouth pursing ever so slightly when someone talks to you. But he bottles that inside and gives you space to explore everything you want and make your own decisions.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Eris gives as many different kinds of kisses as there are leaves in the Autumn forest. There is the soft forehead kiss for when you are down or the gentle brushing of his lips against yours when you have had a long day. There is the deep desperate kiss when you have been away and the passionate inferno when he is jealous. The languid one for when he is happy and the possessive one when he takes you to bed.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Eris admires children because they are free, and they often say exactly what they think. He doesn’t want a lot of children of his own; he dreams of having just one girl he can lavish with all the attention and love he has. While he is waiting for his dream to come true, he sets up fighting lessons for all the small ladies at court so that they can always defend themselves against “bastards like him.”

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He is an early riser, but ever since you started sleeping together, he lingers in bed until you wake up. He loves to hold you tight and whisper sweet words in your ear. He tangles his legs with yours and pulls you closer, giving you tiny kisses. More often than not, those kisses grow into a slow lovemaking session.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Your bed is very close to a huge window, and you often admire how the moonlight illuminates his freckles, setting them aflame like tiny stars. When he catches you staring, he usually “punishes” you by wringing pleasure out of you for hours. Oh, and he sleeps naked, just so that he can feel you with his whole body.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

There are centuries of trauma underneath the beautiful face, stories that he tries to bury deep down in his mind. Sometimes when he has had a particularly hard day, you get a glimpse of his pain, but mostly he hides it well. He doesn’t want to burden anyone with it, especially those he loves.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He is infinitely patient; there is nothing anyone can do to make him lose his nerve. The only few times that has happened have been only for show before his court.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He pays very close attention to other people’s words and remembers everything, maybe because he had to survive in this ruthless court or because he was its spymaster, but he values information above most things.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

When you kissed him for the first time. You had fought in the training ring the day before. All because of him, of course, because he wanted to tell you how much he wanted you and how he needed that time with you as much as he needed air, yet the words were not coming out. Instead, he teased you relentlessly until you threw a fit and left. He sent you the most exquisite dress as an apology, but you tore it to shreds, took all the tiny pieces, marched to his suite and threw them like confetti in his face. You expected him to get angry; instead, he gave you a look full of self-satisfaction and perhaps a tiny bit of admiration. So you kissed him just to wipe that smug expression off his face.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He protects those he loves with everything he's got. He would sacrifice every bit of himself if that meant he would keep you safe. It doesn’t work the other way around, though. He is extremely uncomfortable when you try to protect him. All those years full of poison by Beron’s side have instilled in him the feeling that he is not worthy of love and protection. It breaks you a little bit, but you use every chance you get to show that it’s not true.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He has it all planned out for years, if not centuries, in advance. There isn’t a length he wouldn’t go to get you the perfect present.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He doesn’t share. He burdens himself with everything and only tells you after the fact, but you understand that it’s hard for a lone wolf to work in a pack, so you let it slide more often than not.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Very concerned. Looks are everything in Autumn, so he has the seamster and fabric dealer a hand’s width away. You can swear he never wears the same clothes twice.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

No, because as he likes to remind you, “there is no world for me without you.”

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He gifted you a sweet white puppy for your first anniversary. Much to your surprise, she grew up to be a strong and wilful hound, the leader of your family’s pack.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Lies. You have a bargain that you would always tell each other the truth, no matter how ugly it is.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He talks in his sleep, and among the gibberish, you often hear your name.

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