Thinking Azazel!John thoughts again.
Thinking about Azazel's obsession with Mary's family.
Thinking about Azazel possessing John to get Mary pregnant with Sam.
Thinking about Azazel's visits to Sam always happening from Halloween through Nov 2.
And this is the real reason Sam developed an aversion to Halloween, although he doesn't really remember.
Maybe the story in Mint Condition is what Sam has made himself believe.
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happy father's day FUCK john winchester
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you'll name the babies and i'll name the dogs
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the fact is, i don't believe john abused his sons in the way most people think. maybe he spanked them a little as a kid, but i dont think he whipped them or really beat them, i don't think he sexually abused them, i think his biggest crime was child neglect inherent to the kind of nomadic and revenge-focused life he led after mary died. that IS a form of child abuse, especially fostering emotional incest and codependency, but he wasn't bad because he was abusive in the more tangible way people think.
HOWEVER. supernatural uses possession of the winchester family, especially john in "devil's trap," to bring out sexual undertones between john and his sons, especially dean (i'm looping in sam, too, though, because if you don't believe there's anything sexual between azazel and sam in "devil's trap," you're lying to yourself). this isn't to prove that john was sexually abusive, but it instead brings dean's flustered emotional state and pseudo-sexual worship of his father to the forefront, as well as inversely, bringing out sam's desire to escape, instead of dean's desire to please. yellow-eyes knows how to prey on each of them using john's meatsuit in very personalized ways. but the highlight is again more of a freudian approach to child-parent desire, not a abusive parent-child one. on the other hand, it exacerbates the child abuse john did inflict on his sons by neglecting them, here, a sexual metaphor for that. that's the reason why they're even in this situation in the first place.
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wait, thoughts derailed, on my half-sister jo bullshit again for a second---
and my azazel possessed John throughout Sam's childhood bullshit
and thinking about Jo being an attempt by Azazel!John to make another special child (it doesn't work; John is the Michael bloodline)
And Bill finds out that John's been possessed -- and Azazel can't let him go home and tell Ellen and let her start blabbin' about who's really Joanna's father, can he? What a headache that would be.
So Azazel calls in the demons and shreds Bill from the inside out, and only lets John remember what he wants about it. Just like he let John remember that night with Ellen in '84, when Bill was on a hunt and John saved her from a demon 👀👀👀
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1.01 Pilot / 1.16 Shadow / 1.22 Devil’s Trap
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