#as stress-free as possible bc it can be tough when there's a lot of options | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seodami · 3 years

Text

Dearest treasure | KTH

Summary: Every kid in town was afraid of Kang Taehyun, the old -slightly creepy- man living alone for years and years in the same run down house. Every night he would go into his backyard with a shovel and dig a hole into the earth. No one knows why and there are kids rumouring about him burying people. Jungwon was a bright kid, wanting to find out the truth behind this widely spread rumour for a school project. And what he found out would change his life forever.

Genre: fluff, angst, flashbacks, story of life, snippets of life, tiny bit humour

Warning: old Taehyun, mention of death, mention of suicide/suicidal thoughts, death

Word count: 10152 (all 3 parts together)

Pairing: Kang Taehyun x reader, (Yang Jungwon)

Note: Wow okay so this story took me a while to write and I listened to hours of das music to finish this🥺 this was honestly an emotional rollercoaster. But I’m so glad it’s finally finished so I can post it on here yayyy!!! I hope you like it an enjoooyy (please tell me if you cried I would really appreciate your responses haha bc I did)

Main masterlist

2021

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Hueningkai, happy birthday to youuuu...” the crowd gathered in the small kitchen around said birthday boy, singing more or less in unison, while some were eagerly hitting his back, hoping he would finally blew out the 18 candles on top of the colourful decorated cake. Yeonjun, one of his friends managed to sweep some of the delicious cake frosting onto his finger just to smear it right across the now 18 year old boy’s cheek.

Taehyun let out a loud laugh, holding their other friend Beomgyu back from joining in on the incoming chaotic frosting war. It was far too crowded in this hot tiny kitchen for having at least 20 people smearing each other’s faces and ruining their make up. It was like everyone was going wild, letting free their stress and problems of the day.

It wasn’t until Taehyun himself felt something wet and extremely cake scented against his own cheek - and due to his rapid motion - also on his lips. His eyes met yours for the first time that moment. And he swears, his heart must have felt extremely sporty this exact moment because it started racing like crazy when he saw that adorable cheeky grin sneaking on your face, eyes moving swiftly down to his lips, where the frosting had been put, before going back to his eyes again. There was a mischievous glint in your eyes, which immediately pulled him into a ban. It fascinated him too much to look away.

He didn’t know how long you were just silently teasing each other, but the next moment he wasn’t holding onto Beomgyu’s arm anymore. He sweeped up some frosting himself on his index finger, deeply digging into the cake, and before you could even realize what was going to happen, there was already a big fat purple trail of frosting from your cheek up to your nose. Taehyun playfully laughed at his creation, trying to get away from you as fast as possible as soon as he saw your determination in your face. Oh you were so not gonna lose to this boy.

You chased each other laughing around the kitchen, the connection strangely already built, even though none of you could explain how or why. It was just there, like a spark in the dark. You managed to find the perfect opportunity to sneak up behind him, looking searching into the crowd, and slap some more frosting right on his other cheek. Taehyun let out a surprised squeal, with one swift motion he had already turned around to look at your big lively eyes. The blonde boy could only laugh in disbelief, seeing you burst out into a fit of giggles. Taehyun didn’t see the intense stare from his now 18 year old friend in his back, nor did he see how your heart skipped a beat when you took a glance at him.

It wasn’t his intention to only talk to you this long evening. It wasn’t his intention to ruin Hueningkais mood because he kept his crush away from him. And it most definitely wasn’t his intention to fall for you and your witty charm so quickly. But let’s be honest, life wasn’t made to be perfect. It was made to be full of surprises and colourful like a big bag of candy. You never knew what you would get.

2022

Your first kiss happened on a random Thursday evening. When you decided to tag along a few of his friends to a camping trip, Taehyun knew that would be his downfall. When you two first met at Hueningkais birthday party almost a year ago, he didn’t knew about his younger friends huge crush on you. Quite honestly, he felt horrible for what happened at this day. And he felt even worse about the feelings he was secretly harvesting for you.

When his friend Soobin told him about the youngest misery, the first thing Taehyun did was rushing to Kais house and apologise for not knowing. He could see that day how his previous actions were burdening his friend, even though he tried to hide it, they were crushing his happy self down. And Taehyun swore to himself after this day, that he would never ever want any person to change just because of his behaviour. He wanted Hueningkai to always be this bright, cheerful, innocent boy he knew and everyone adored. And what was even more important to him: he swore to never let a girl go between any of their friendships. And if you were important to Kai, Taehyun wholeheartedly meant to step back and let his brother-like friend find his happiness. He really meant it.

But it had to come differently. Taehyun tried a whole year not to come into contact with you. He tried to not be present at the same events as you, he tried not to answer your friendly ‘hey’ messages at midnight and he tried to avoid your eyes whenever you walked past each other. But how could he be prepared for this camping trip- 24 hours a day with you in close proximity. It was a challenge set to fail at the very beginning. And he knew it.

It was visible for everyone that you saw Hyuka as just a friend. You didn’t have the sparkle in your eyes like you did when you looked at the blonde boy and you didn’t searched his eyes in a crowd of peoples. You always looked for Taehyuns eyes. Not for Hueningkais. But how could anyone resent him to not realize after having a crush on you for already over 5 years. Yet nobody dared to tell him. They didn’t want him to be hurt.

But this one evening was different. Taehyun could have run away. He could have. But he didn’t when you approached him sitting alone on a small cliff, the warm sea water flowing peacefully and steadily under their feet. His face was turned slightly upwards towards the disappearing sun. It was still warm and humid. You silently sat down next to him, only a few centimetres apart. It was too close for his liking. He could smell your scented hair and see the little redness on your cheeks from the shining sun just hours before. He could see your pink lips moisturised and glistening as your tongue glided against the flesh. You were way too close and it made him anxious.

He could have just left or stared blankly ahead of him but you made it so hard for him to not to fall into a comfortable and excited flow of talking. And before he knew, the both of you talked and laughed together, shoulder against shoulder, thighs brushing against each other here and there. Anyone could have seen the chemistry between the two of you. The sparks were almost flying a mile away.

Soon, Taehyuns nervous glances behind his back stopped as darkness rolled over you and the only thing he could see was you in front of him in the soft light of the moon. Your face was so close. Your lips were just there. Just for him. And not a split second before the thought had gotten into his mind, you closed the small gap between you two.

He didn’t knew what had gotten into him that exact moment. He knew it was so wrong, yet it was so right. It happened so quick- your lips against his- maybe he even imagined it but the tingling against his own lips afterwards pulled him back into reality. He goddamn kissed his brothers crush and now he had to live with the consequences. And he was so afraid.

2023

A year later, everything seemed going in every thinkable direction. Yet, it went all differently than he thought. A lot had happened after that first kiss of yours. It wasn’t very difficult for your friends to figure out the whole situation and set together all the puzzle pieces. Soon they all knew about you two. It didn’t made any sense to stay away from each other when you two obviously were head over heels for each other. You tried hiding your blooming relationship but was it really an option to begin with?

The moment Taehyun dreaded more than anything else, was Kai finding out. And of course he did. When he saw you two coincidentally at the ice cream parlour, trying each other’s flavours, your head laying on his shoulder, he knew. Deep down he knew it before and deep down he was understanding that he never could be in Taehyuns shoes. He always felt like he was lacking, comparing himself to his best friends. It was like a heavy punch inside his abdomen, maybe also in his face. And when Taehyun turned around, meeting Hueningkais teary, hurt eyes, he felt like crying himself. He felt so much worse than he thought he would. He felt so useless, like the worst person alive. He broke his best friend. And he suddenly wanted to turn back time to Kais 18th birthday party and wished he never smeared that cake onto your face.

It was a tough time afterwards. You never knew about Kais crush on you, so it left you feeling utterly helpless. You wanted to help somehow but just made it worse. Taehyuns friendship with Kai also was severely damaged and you felt it was just because of you. To say the least, you both felt horrible. But could you really if you both just followed your heart?

It took a while but for Taehyun it was every second worth the wait when Hueningkai came to talk to him. It was a long heartfelt conversation filled with tears, apologies, forgiveness and lots of hugs. Taehyun felt deeply thankful towards his friend. Kai knew he couldn’t hold his friends happiness away from him. He knew a girl who didn’t want him wasn’t worth losing one of his dearest and closest friends. He knew his feelings for you soon or later would disappear. It just took some time.

And it indeed got better for all of you. Him and Kai were as close as before if not even closer and between you and Taehyun was nothing but love. Taehyun had never felt such feelings this strong for anyone else before. Not even his eleven year older babysitter he had a crush on when he was 7 years old for whom he waited anxiously every time his parents went out. Taehyun felt absolutely great being with you. He loved the way your conversations flowed so well and he loved the way you always supported each other. He didn’t know much about relationships in the first place since you were his first real girlfriend but somehow he knew this was just right and just healthy. You just clicked.

2026

Taehyun was 24 and you were 23 when your first break up happened. It wasn’t out of hatred or jealousy like other couples may go through, no, it was because you both decided to. It was the best move at that moment, thinking that a long distance relationship over half the globe couldn’t work anymore. It worked for a year since you left for France to work. It was a good paid job in just the right place for you and you loved it. But you hated being so far away from Taehyun.

Your relationship was amazing. It was like living on fluffy clouds, always high with the feeling of euphoria and glee. But there had to be low points as well. The sky wasn’t always full of clouds. Sometimes you had to jump off to come into touch with reality. And this was such a moment.

However, nobody would have thought that sometimes these decisions we make and find so hard to make, exactly these were the worse decisions. Taehyun felt like he was a hollow porcelain figure. He felt so lonely even though you still were parted by the ocean. And somehow he felt less lonely before the split. Now he felt like you took his heart with you. And the only person who could save him from drowning was you.

It only took him half a year- 6 months- to realize that he made the worst decisions in his life. Hueningkai, who had long lost feelings for you and now was in a happy relationship himself, literally beat some sense into his hollow brain. He couldn’t just lose you like that. And it took him only one kick to pack his bag and take the next plane towards France. Towards you.

To say the least, you were utterly shocked to see your (ex)boyfriend sit in front of the wooden door of your small apartment. His eyes weren’t sparkling like they did all these years before. And his hair had grown a bit- it was now black again. Seeing you again was like a spark of hope inside of him. He wanted to make it good again. He was determined to get you back, no matter how hard a long distance relationship might be. It was worth for him now, he learned that the hard way.

You pulled him up and inside your tiny flat. It felt so familiar touching him, yet it seemed so long ago. But you missed it…him. Before any words were shared, Taehyun pulled you into a bone crushing hug. You felt like crying, finally being with the person you loved the most. All your surpressed feelings came crashing back to you again. And you wanted to never let him go again. Hugging him felt like coming home again after a long trip. And something in this hug brought you reassurance that your story together wasn’t over yet. There would need to be much more difficult obstacles than an ocean between the two of you to part you.

2027

You cried. You bawled your eyes out. As much and hard as you possibly could. Taehyuns arms pressed you further into his firm chest, grabbing the fabric of his blue hoodie. Large wet spots were now found on top of it. The small plastic stick in Taehyuns hands felt heavy and cold. He couldn’t quite grasp this particular situation, being lost in his own train of thoughts. He was shell shocked. You on the other hand were emotionally on the furthest end. Not only were your hands shaking uncontrollably, but your whole face by now was sticky from all your endless flowing tears.

“It’s allright sunshine. We can do that. It’s just a surprise, not the end of the world, okay?” The 24 year old mans voice wasn’t as stable as he hoped it to be but it had the right effect on you anyways. Your big eyes saw his blurry face in front of you. A sob escaped your mouth. He gave you the sweetest smile, gently tapping away your heavy tears.

“I’m afraid, Taehyun…” your hoarse voice almost sounded as quiet as a breeze, you weren’t sure if he even heard it. But the man simply put his forehead against yours, patting your hair in the back with the utmost care. You could feel him nod slightly, being able to see the fear in his own eyes.

“I know baby, me too… but we can do this together. Really. You are not alone in this.” It was almost like a promise, telling you he never would leave your side. Not even when you would look like a bloated whale with calve and back pain. Not even when in less than 9 months you both would enter a totally different path in life. But you would do it together. And that was what calmed you down the most. With him you were never alone.

2029

When his big sparkling eyes met your elegant white figure, he couldn’t help but let a tear slip past his normally controlled face. No one could blame him. It was such a touching moment in every persons life being able to see their partner in front of the altar with their hand in their own. And when he saw that big bright smile on your lips, muttering the soft ‘I do’ in his ears full of confidence, he knew that life went just the right way. He suddenly believed in fate and soulmates and true love. Because when he looked at your eyes, he saw his future. Not only his past and present but all the other precious moments to come.

Your path up until this moment wasn’t easy and you both knew that. The pregnancy had been a tough one for you, containing dozens of sleepless nights, horrible mood swings and a 34 hour long birth. Taehyun still could remember the day his daughter was born as well as his own name. He still felt your squeezing hand, he still heard your painful screams and most importantly, he still remembers holding and seeing the baby for the first time, setting free emotions even he didn’t knew he had. It was a new world for both of you. But you regretted absolutely nothing.

And when he could finally lay his lips on top of yours, the priest declaring you his wife, he couldn’t hear his friends and families cheers and whistles. He could only really see you and his little daughter in her grandfathers arms.

2032

“Daddy hurry up. I want to play.” The small yet loud voice of Taehee, your first born daughter, boomed through the empty halls. Nothing adorned the blank walls yet and the only color he could see besides white, was the brown of the many carton boxes standing around on the floor. A satisfying feeling made itself known inside of the young father. The new keys pressed cooling against his palm. It was both of your hard work that enabled you to finally settle down and buy your first real house together. And it felt exhilarating.

“Soon bunny, we will first make some space here, alright? It may takes some time though. You can help me.” He offered the tiny girl his hand, which she immediately grabbed. While grinning from ear to ear, ponytails bobbing up and down, she looked way too much alike her mother. Even the way they laugh reminded him of her. Only the big innocent eyes showed him that indeed she was his child, glistening with the same amount of curiosity as his always did.

“When is mummy coming back? I want to see my little brother again. He was so cute.” The man smiled fondly at the girl in his hand and mentioned her to sit down onto the wooden floor. “They are coming this evening. They still need to rest a bit in the hospital until they can come home. But in the meantime we are gonna start unpacking and make a nice cosy dinner for mummy, how does that sound?” The girl nodded again, this time more excited at the mention of her new little brother and mother coming home. You were both over the moon when you found out about your second pregnancy. Unlike the first time, it was a happy memory free from all your doubts and fears. You already went through the first one so it showed to be a lot easier the second time. Yet it was just exhilarating as the first one, Taehyun finally found his loved ones and he would never ever let them go. He was the happiest he had ever been. It was all like a dream.

When you were finally being released from the dull hospital, this time with a tiny baby boy in the bowl in your hands, you were met with one of the beloved home cooked meals of your husband. Taehyun had gone all out to surprise you and the adorable girl besides him had the biggest smile on her face as he explained that she had helped her. The first meeting of Taehees new sibling was just lovely. Fondness was already written all across her as she carefully poked the baby’s chubby cheek. Taehyuns eyes were full of the purest form of love. Proud, yet so delicate, it was just as you had seen him on the day your first daughter was born. He was ready to give it all to his family. And he meant it.

The next day was just as eventful as the day before. Printed out pictures were all laying around the empty floor, now they were all sitting on a fluffy carpet. You were hunched over a white piece of paper, eccentricly writing down all and everything. Taehyun playfully peaked over your shoulders to get a small glimpse at the long heartfelt letter, you seemed to be writing with so much concentration, only to be met with a giggling flick on his forehead. You had told him it was only to be read in the future, not for now, so he respected your decision but it still didn’t hinder him from being curious and trying to guess what you were writing. Taehyun had always had the urge to find more about things he was interested in and constantly would sacrifice his free time to learn new skills or facts about all thinkable topics. Something you loved so much about your love.

“Alright. I’m finished. Now…bunny have you found your favorite drawings?” You folded the papers and stuffed them into a pink envelope. Glitter stickers were put all around by your little daughter. The girl nodded enthusiastically holding up a few of her fantastic, creative paintings so full of life and childlike excitement. Taehyun took them from her with a smile and layed them into the metal box together with your letter and a pile of photos you’ve carefully chose together.

You and Taehyun sitting on the couch at night, your children already sleeping tight. You felt his hot breath in your neck, letting your heart race like a maniac but still feeling completely and utterly lost and in love with this man. Laying against his upper body, you’ve spontaneously decided to hide a time capsule in your new garden full of your dearest treasures. It was a wonderful idea honestly, holding onto this seemingly perfect moment just for a moment longer before letting go and let the flow of life taking over again. A moment to freeze and lock up in a tiny box to look back at in the future. It was a secure feeling for the both of you.

After adding all the things you’ve found important, Taehyun recalled Taehee bringing one of her favorite toys and in the end there were way too many things inside, he could barely close the lid and lock it up. Together with a shovel, you made your way towards the backyard, finding a lovely spot next to a hazel bush. A place he could never forget as he saw his daughter running around with joy in her yellow sundress. Lovely. Just lovely.

Digging the hole about a meter and a half deep, Taehyun placed the box carefully into the cooling soil, smelling the intense scent of nature. With a last smile, he filled the hole with earth again, leaving back a bittersweet moment of farewell and a new segment of life. But that was how life went. Unexpectedly and still so lovely.

2045

“Dad, can you please drive me to Johnny? He asked me to hang out...” Taehyun looked up from his computer, legs crossed, too focused to fully realize what his 17 year old daughter just asked him. A distant hum was his only answer. “Dad? Did you hear me?” Taehee tried again, slight annoyance laced in her voice. Taehyun blinked surprised and snapped out of his bubble filled with work.

“What did you say bunny?” The same nickname had never left the now teenage girl throughout her whole life. “Oh dad…I asked if you could give me a ride to Johnny’s?” A hint of a red blush creeped up her ears and cheeks under her fathers piercing eyes. “Johnny who? The lanky skater boy from your class? The one who was expelled for violent behaviour?” Taehee shrunk seemingly but shook her head, trying to form an excuse. “No- I mean yes it’s him but dad he’s really not like that. You don’t even know him. He just asked me to hang out…that’s all.”

Taehyun pulled an eyebrow up but nodding, an incoming call from work disrupting his train of thoughts. “And? Can you?” She asked again, seeing her father already about to accept the call. “No…no not now bunny. I’m still working but you can ask your mum. She wanted to drive your brother to his boxing lesson.” With this he finally accepted the call, apologising for the wait. With a sigh and a short nod, Taehee turned and waved his father rejectedly, looking over her shoulder.

Little did he know… oh how Taehyun wished to relive this moment, never accepting that stupid call and just drive his children instead of you. Everything would still be alright. Everyone would still be here…

That had been the last moment he saw his daughter, his son and his wife.

When Taehyun received the life changing call, his heart fell into a sea of tiny deathly splinters. Nothing was left for him. He had nothing. Absolutely nothing. When the hospital told him about the deathly car crash his whole family had been fatally injured and in the end dying on the spot of the accident, he broke down… he wanted to cry and scream and shout and destroy everything…but he couldn’t. He was empty. And so empty, not only his family disappeared that day, he vanished as well, never experiencing the feeling of home and comfort and love ever again. He was completely lost and that forever. And that’s when Taehyun gave up. He just simply…gave up.

26 notes · View notes

fukurodaze · 4 years

Text

haikyuu!! third gym squad taking the ib diploma programme

ok... my friend and i got rlly stressed the other day and made headcanons for these guys if they were to take classes in the ib... it’s like a levels but like... a bit more death!

for my ib diploma folks you can just hop on over and read what i’ve hc’d but for my non-ib folks, lemme give you a bit of an introduction to the ib diploma programme.

characters included: bokuto koutarou, kuroo tetsurou, akaashi keiji, tsukishima kei, haiba lev, hinata shouyou

THE IB DIPLOMA PROGRAMME is a rigorous two-year pre-college program in your last two years of high school. a full programme consists of one class from each of the six required groups (totalling to 6 classes), which are G1 - first language; G2 - second language; G3 - social sciences; G4 - natural sciences; G5 - mathematics; and G6 - arts (though, arts is optional, and can be switched out with another subject from G3 or G4).

within these six courses, students are required to take at least three high-level (HL) courses and three standard level courses (SL), but some students may take four HL courses and have two SL courses (kind of a rough one tho).

just to note: there’s two types of math courses - applications and interpretations (Math AI) and analysis and approaches (Math AA). MAA courses are known to be harder than MAI courses because students do more theory work and have non-calculator sections in exams, unlike MAI courses where calculators are required for every exam. also, it is possible for a person to take IB courses instead of the full diploma programme, but i’m not very well acquainted with that variation of the IB programme so we’re just going to assume all the boys got 6 courses.

okay. i am so sorry i just lectured you on a whole school curriculum. anyways. back to haikyuu!!

BOKUTO KOUTAROU : Japanese Language and Literature HL, Mandarin Ab Initio SL, Geography HL, SEHS (Sports, Exercise, and Health Science) HL, Math AI SL, Economics SL

ok so it’s canon that this dude is not doing very well in math but his parents made him do higher level math at first poor boy >:(

he started the year off in higher level and thought he was gonna be fine

no. he was not fine.

so he ended up switching his math hl to sl and his japanese sl to hl

IT IS CANON (special chapter in volume 19 titled “i just forgot” where bokuto has a wholeass crisis about words) that bokuto’s really one to actually really like to think about how words work and function as systems in the same way ib language courses do!!

actually having him do japanese ll hl is just an excuse for me to keep him in math sl sorry

i mean koutarou may be my fav tax evader but he really did sit through two years worth of econ classes... smh

mans is Not listening and has to rely on yukie for notes but he just memorises case studies for exams and does not do anything else

i feel like he just takes mandarin because he thought it was the easiest one... he also thinks the words sound similar so it’s easy to memorise

he’s a pretty good communicator so he practices his mandarin quite a lot. as in, he’s made friends to talk to in mandarin. we love to see it!!!

also. um. i hc that he’s pretty decent at memorisation so geography!! this goes for memorising all the kanji and mandarin characters too

i think SEHS is pretty self-explanatory. mans already known he wanna be a pro athlete might as learn about being healthy as an athlete

KUROO TESTUROU : Japanese Language and Literature SL, English B SL, Business Management HL, Chemistry HL, Math AI HL, Biology HL

now... we all know this mf been taking chemistry hl. it is CANON

and as per his career path... DEFINITELY business management hl

i feel like he’s so analytical in the way he sees things that he likes to explore many areas of knowledge where there are different ways of thinking

takes english as a second language because... whew.. aint it sexy when mans wanna be multifaceted in business

also takes higher level biology because he’d rather not with the languages... but later on i believe he ends up in a higher level language class because he might as well

i feel like kuroo’s classes just give me a vibe i know too too well...

mans takes math ai. he does not wanna fuck around with a pencil proving a theorem he just wants the answer bro

like in volleyball, he’s a quick thinker. so he’s pretty g with math and business stuff

i literally know someone with this class combo ... it’s not very chill but it screams “you never see me do any course work but i always get at least a B+ in every subject”

AKAASHI KEIJI : Japanese Language and Literature HL, French Ab Initio SL, Psychology HL, Chemistry SL, Math AA SL, Visual Arts HL

now... this subject combo radiates such pretty energy

pretty subjects for a pretty boy

he was originally going to do biology sl but then found out there is chemistry in biology so he just decided with chemistry. plain and simple.

we all know akaashi is both emotionally and academically intelligent

he’s logical and analytical, and when faced with a tough time he works through it well albeit going through a little bit of struggle

this automatically puts him in math aa... i just see him actually liking proving theorems???

but maybe he just thinks his calculator is a nuisance sometimes and would rather solve everything by hand

also art boy! this dude likes graphic design more but when it comes to traditional art he does Not Hold Back

i like to think that he’s into painting backgrounds and mixed media

if he didn’t take VA, i’m pretty sure he would take economics. because. it’s quite systematic and i think akaashi would take a liking to it

as for japanese ll hl... we all know this dude was supposed to be a part of the literary section in a magazine/manga company but was moved to editor

goes hand-in-hand with psychology, likes to know how words convey meaning and how they affect people

he also thinks french is kind of a cool language. i feel like this guy just wants to do it because it sounds cool and novel for him

all in all, pretty solid subject combo!

TSUKISHIMA KEI : Japanese Language and Literature HL, French Ab Initio SL, History HL, Biology SL, Math AA HL, Instrumental Music HL

4 hl’s... here we are folks

honestly does it for colleges to go like “holy shit this dude is kinda crazy”

but does suffer... coursework tings :)

first of all this dude takes french (even though it’s a beginner’s class) because he just loves to sound cool huh

the summer before his courses started he would have had the basics down after looking through free ib textbooks

plus, being the guy that’s super good at a new language in the class is a huge ass flex and a big ass ego boost. and anyways, with language, he thinks it’s just a lot of simple patterns working together.

this also applies to japanese ll hl... finds writing essays and making arguments ez (at least that’s what he tells himself - he’s kinda nervous when it comes to japanese but he holds on anyway)

practices extra hard on pronunciation. sounds hot tho

math aa hl??? there we go. another crazy one. thought he could ace the class at first.... no. no he couldn’t

thinks about moving down to sl. probably does. (at least it’s not math ai)

history and biology go hand in hand for him. he has significant interests in prehistoric times, and likes to learn about the origins of life - that’s a given

but he does get tired of the politics talk in history like... goddamn all these people making so many mistakes? just stop making them smh

and instrumental music was just something he got onto because he really would like to just have a course where he could enjoy himself while also learning about the stuff he likes

nobody knows what music he listens to... but i think he’s willing to listen to anything as long as it’s music and it has the kinds of vibes he digs

HAIBA LEV: Japanese Language and Literature SL, Mandarin Ab Initio SL, Psychology HL, Chemistry SL, Math AI HL, Theatre HL

i don’t know how to explain it but lev has such strong psych and chem energy

yes haiba lev’s classes are the ones i picked via roulette wheel

jk not really

here’s the thing though, lev takes psychology because he thinks econ, business management, history, ess, all that jazz is just... absolutely boring. like. super. mf-ing. boring.

so he’s like ooh cognitive processes!

kinda hates that he has to study research methods and research methods ONLY at first but when he gets the hang of it he really finds it one of his fav subs

i actually have no explanation for mandarin ab initio sl... he just seemed like the kind of guy who would wanna do the class solely because he thinks mandarin sounds cool with their intonations and everything

plus he heard that the teacher gives mooncakes every lunar new year ad he. loves. them.

okay now hear me out.

lev is good at math.

maybe not lightning speed analysis or calculations like akaashi, but he finds solving problems fun! except for when they’re without a calculator bc he HATES doing calculations by hand

he can get a bit clumsy with his hand calculations too so it’s nice to just have a calculator on hand

literally only does math ai for the sake of using a calculator at all times (a/n: i take this class, and this was the reason i took it too. COMPLETELY VALID)

and then does theatre for the fun of it!!! confidence levels high for presentations and performances... good fit

kinda thought that ib theatre would be his easy A but oh how he was wrong... hates the research tasks at first but he gets used to it

HINATA SHOUYOU: Japanese Language and Literature SL, Portuguese Ab Initio SL, SEHS HL, Geography HL, Math AI SL, Theatre HL

his classes are bokuto energy but with theatre and portuguese

MANGA SPOILERS! we all know he started thinking abt going to brazil in his second year of high school, and the ib diploma programme starts in the last two years of high school so it fits PERFECTLY

lowkey most of the boys take japanese ll sl because they just. have to.

this is also hinata’s case <3

SEHS HL!!! he has a vision for the future and it definitely involves him understanding health and sports and everything like that, especially after nationals in his first year :(((( still sad abt that

but he’s motivated for this higher level class because he’s really just gonna go all out with the research

math ai sl because... he prolly don’t give a fuck about numbers!!! (it hasn’t been made clear already, but math ai sl is the lowest level math course)

he also took theatre hl because even though he does get scared at first, he’s a natural when it comes to learning new cultures

he’s just so curious about it all and it makes him quite engaged in the class as well!!!!

also kinda took theatre because the other subjects were just not it for him

about geography... he hates memorisation but he also hates everything else in the social studies group so

he just gets by by trying to find the little details of the things he’s studying interesting because really... geography class is just the base of all the places on his bucket list

hinata’s def one of those dudes who picks his subs purely off of liking because we all know he’s going. any subject that isn’t based off of liking is usually a mandatory subject anyways

32 notes · View notes

verse50 · 4 years

Note

hey about the aftercare: thank you so much for responding! you cleared a lot of things for me. yes, we started as D/s and developed into an engagement. something important is that we're in a LDR relationship bc he is working and can't be with me for now. He apologized and said he was exhausted that other night. He does take some pills for ADHD but what caught my attention on what you said is frustration. he have been frustrated bc I wasn't being really submissive these days...

Here is the original ask. I was preparing to answer your first ask here when you sent the follow up one so I’m going to answer consecutively.

Since you are engaged, I’m assuming the LDR is a new development in a relationship of perhaps years. Circumstances sound tough with his work schedule, ADHD, and struggle to maintain the D/s connection.

Not feeling submissive. This needs to be discussed at the first inkling. I’m sensing that circumstances have gotten between the two of you and fizzled your dynamic. This happens with lots of couples, D/s or not. Things happen and you go along, letting them happen, while the house falls down around you. It’s a natural occurrence but must be planned for. When you “aren’t feeling it” that is the time to step up as a submissive. Request the tug on the leash. Discuss how your protocol could function with the LDR. “How may I serve you today?” It is both your responsibility to maintain the foundation.

If the work situation is concrete, the stressors must be anticipated. Transitions of any kind are extremely tough. My work department is handling construction and split personnel over several areas and I prepped for stressors months before the actual construction took place. You have a choice to let the circumstances run your life or make a flow so you retain the connection around them. This happens through kind, calm, respectful communication and focused effort to make the best possible decision for all parties.

Now, it may be that the circumstances are insurmountable and the stress of maintaining the connection over LDR is too much for you. That’s ok. People need touch, skin on skin, daily interaction to make a relationship go to certain levels. I personally know of a couple who began foray into D/s and then put it aside because the distance and their work schedules made it basically impossible. They are still together years later, non D/s but have a strong, loving relationship. I would caution you not throw the baby out with the bath water. It can be tough to go from D/s to non. Some people can’t do it. You may need structure that only it can give you. But...really look at this overall and not just from the D/s success standpoint. I sense that you care about each other. You really need to talk about this as people in a relationship. The D/s is a part of your relationship but it isn’t everything. Value it all, look at it closely, discuss goals and desires.

If breaking up seems to be the only option, be kind to one another. DO NOT be mean, vindictive, or turn into horrible people lashing out in pain. Be mature! Just because the dynamic didn’t work out under these circumstances doesn’t mean you are enemies! Communicate amicably. If there is a move-out, respect the space and his personal belongings. Don’t make life miserable for either of you. Don’t pressure to stay friends, that can be very hard for former D/s partners. Just be mature, kind, and honest about the breakup needs. Don’t cling! Let yourself and him be free to live a good life, even if it isn’t shared with each other.

Read this together and have an honest talk before you do anything permanent. Seeing each other in person might be a good idea, as well.

#askv

19 notes · View notes

fairycosmos · 5 years

Note

hey you always give good advice and uh. so ive been feeling like a really bad person bc my ex and i's relationship ended when we realised things were getting Bad for me mentally and my constant anxiety (i have OCD) made me terrified i'd hurt them (not physically bc its long distance but like emotionally) and i think that's what Ruined it which is uhhh ironic i guess??? sbhgfd but it made their friends hate me and now i feel like i'm a bad person bc i Need everyones approval :(((

hey angel. i’m really sorry to hear about the break up. regardless of what you say or do next, losing someone you care about will always hurt, and it’s okay to just let it for a while. you don’t have to push the sadness away, you just have to try to deal with it in a safe way, alright? cry, write about it, talk about it. and listen. when you have problems with your mental health, and you’re going through a tough experience on top of that, your mind will try every single tactic in the book to convince you that you’re a bad person and that it’s all your fault. because that gives you a semblance of control, right? if it’s your fault, then it makes sense to a certain extent. but it’s actually far more complex than that. sometimes there is no simple explanation as to why things turn out a certain way. you can’t bully yourself into believing that you’re a problem, that you’re the only one to blame for everything. that’s not how it works. there are so many different aspects to the situation, and they all factor into why this didn’t work out. if the relationship did end because you were scared of hurting your ex, then that literally makes you the opposite of a bad person, in a roundabout way. you were trying your very best to NOT hurt them. you were doing everything in your power to prevent more damage from occurring. you were trying to save them from more pain. that’s not a negative attribute to posses. that’s not a mean-spirited thing to do. yeah, maybe looking back, there are things you’d do differently, but that’s the case for everything that happens in life. that’s how you grow. hindsight is 20/20, and all you can do is learn from the past. you can’t change it, and it’ll always be there, but it’ll never define you. and it won’t always feel as awful as it does right now. i promise.

as far as the compulsive need to be liked goes, it’s a really common issue, especially if you already have low self esteem. it’s something most people experience to an extent. but it’s also a trap. it’s literally impossible to be liked by Everybody. being liked by Everyone won’t add to your worth, just as being disliked by people doesn’t detract from it. what others think of you doesn’t edit who you actually are. your ex’s friends are obviously very biased against you, right? they’ve been influenced to see you in a negative light, so they’re blinded. you cant control how they think, or how they perceive things. they have an EXTREMELY one dimensional view of you, a multidimensional being. they only know of you because of your ex, and you are so much more than your relationship with them. seriously. none of this is necessarily a reflection of who you are, or who you’ll always be. their opinion is misguided and uninformed, so how can it be trustworthy? your brain will try to convince you that they’re right, but they dont know you, so they cant possibly be. i get it, though. it’s uncomfortable when people have something against you. it makes you feel itchy and like you’re guilty of something, or at least thats how it is for me. but if you look at your very specific circumstances from an objective perspective you’ll see that you haven’t done anything wrong. you haven’t done anything worth crucifying yourself over. it was a relationship that ended sadly for everyone involved. it’s not a crime. you both got hurt.

and the bottom line is that your mental illness isn’t your fault. it’s not something you asked for, it’s not something to be ashamed of, it’s just a part of you. and while it may cause a lot of stress and anxiety, if your partner isn’t willing to attempt to support you (in this context), then maybe it’s better for you to just focus on yourself, and to attempt to move on. as hard as that is to accept, as impossible at it feels, it’s always an option. i know it’s not what you want to hear, and it’s not any sort of ideal solution, but the fact remains: the only way forward is through. it will get easier. the pain will ease up one day at a time. especially if you’re actively trying to take care of yourself. do you see a professional due to the current climate of your mental health? cause if you don’t, i’d really recommend doing so. that can be your first step towards making yourself a priority. it can be your regular doctor, a counselor, even your parents to begin with…….talking to people about what’s going on in your head doesn’t have to be a big deal. and maybe if you start to work closely with a professional, you can figure out why you feel so desperate to be liked in the first place, why your confidence is so low, what you can do to learn how to like yourself, how you can incorporate healthy coping mechanisms into your life, etc. all of that is within your reach. there are so many choices, so many ways to make this manageable. of course it’ll be a process, it won’t be an instant fix, but it’ll be a positive start. and that’s more than good enough.

i really hope you’re alright, and that you feel better about it all soon. i’m v sorry i couldn’t be of more help. but i hope you know, above all, that you deserve to be loved. you deserve a supportive, healthy relationship with others AND with yourself. and i’m fully certain that you’re capable of reaching out, and of trying to achieve that. i believe in you. i believe that change is guaranteed and happiness isn’t that far out of reach for you. even if it seems like it is. i’m sending you a lot of love. i’m always here if you need to talk, or if you need a friend. please feel free to message me anytime.

#anon #my brain is so scattered idk if this makes sense but i hope most of it does #hope ur alright angel

4 notes · View notes