Valentines day from an Arosbian Perspective

I think that one of the things I struggle with most being aro on valentines day is the gaslighty nature of it all. It has been made painstakingly clear from the beginning that this entire world (and capitalism, hello) is extremely amatonormative (and heteronormative) and valentines day is about that. But when you talk about how it feels bad to be alienated because youre single, you’re closeted, your partner is unable to celebrate for whatever reason etc etc its like “omg dont be so bitter go out with your parents or something”. This is so ridiculous. PLEASE direct me to the valentines hallmark cards about spending it wth your sister, be so forreal. Not to mention that maybe those people in your life have plans of their own?? Iono I dont hate love (lol) but come on. All month I’ve been trying to schedule Valentines specific stuff for myself and everything has been specifically for two people.

And when I try to talk to my partnered friends about it all they do is silently nod. (Most of my friends happen to be partnered Im not avoiding talking to single friends lol) its like they’re silently agreeing and don’t know what to say. How could they? Theyre participating in the system I’m complaining about. Its like I’m looking for an answer that I know they can’t give me. Cuffed people often say things like “just love yourself” or “its not worth it relationships are hard”. These are non-answers to me. I want to be told that it’ll be okay regardless. That, there’s no promise for a “true love” as we know it, and that not everyone who finds someone even has what you’re looking for, or ever will. You may find love, you may not, but its not a you problem and you will be alright either way. That, this world prioritizes people being paired off because thats the only way they know how to keep it going, and the partnered vs notpartnered binary really doesnt exist the way our language suggests. Ultimately, I want someone to tell me that I’m not broken, there’s nothing wrong with me. They never do, though. Again, how could they know? The societal pressure to be with someone (majorly, a man) in order to elevate your worth is both crushing and humiliating. Its humiliating to want it, but its more humiliating to not have it. But its also bad to NOT want it, because that means somethings wrong with you, but most importantly, if noone wants you, thats the worst, because then theres REALLY something wrong with you. The marriage of this with being a lesbian eats away at me at all times. But again, if I talk about it, I simply “dont love myself enough”. I know I’m arospec, but I also know that I desire the experience of healthy, romantic love. I think it takes self love to know thyself. And though you should do your best to heal to be the best person you can for yourself and your partner-- I have always rejected the idea that love comes with prerequisites.  To wrap my feelings up (for now) I don’t think that I disagree that you should spread love however you can on this day (if you want to). I fully encourage people to celebrate their loved ones in the absense of romance. I think its great to spend that time “with your parents or something”. Just exhausted how year after year my lifelong experiences as a lesbian and an aro person are, in one day, boiled down to “just being bitter” lol Im hashtagging this to hell, because I wonder if other people feel this way and would feel less alone if they saw it hahaha 

Happy Valentine’s Day!! 

(Sincerely)

At least in the circles I’m in, tome usually is aro (just aro) or aro and a lesbian

arosbian it is, YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKS!! 3/5 WEIRDGIRL SEMIFINALISTS CONFIRMED LESBIAN

I hope all my fellow Arosbians out there have a good afternoon

I know I'm late as all hecc but, who's your favorite secondary character? (anyone aside from the Eds or Kevin)

idk if this is predictable or not but Lee. Ok so we didn't really get much to work with, with the kankers, so a lot of my thoughts are hc based but still time for a rant fghhj

>She has a very take no shit, give no fucks attitude n I love her for that

>I love her voice

>Tall, I just like the idea of her being 6 ft something when she’s older n towering over everyone

>She would cause trouble with you and then sit next to you and listen while you vent to her because she is soft deep down and cares for people even if she has like issues with being emotional herself

>Due to what we know about her family she probably raised her sisters herself and had to comfort/be a support to her mother a lot.

>I don't think she ever genuinely had feelings for Eddy, I think it was all comphet and her choosing a guy similar to her that she knew was afraid of her, so he'd be nice by default (since all the kankers canonically have trauma)

>However, I do think at least by bps she was fond of Eddy in a way and it's the reason why she couldn't stand to see Bro beating him up

>She's a very protective person and I think she's stood up to adults for her sisters plenty of times so seeing what Bro did struck a nerve

>I feel like she tries to figure herself out a lot in high school, trying to find hobbies n trying to be a better person

>And she does care for her sisters a lot and is the mediator for when they argue. I feel like when she's older by default she'll sometimes assume the big sister role with friends and when people are trying to comfort her instead she'd get emotional

>Not a good cook by choice

>A really good judge of character

>Lee and Edd are both mom friends they just have different approaches

>I think she'd struggle the most with the whole "you have to get married" thing and well I hc her as an aro lesbian so...yeah

>Because on the 1 hand the idea of marriage especially with a man makes her feel trapped and sick, but on the other hand she doesn't feel like she's allowed to not do it (at first)

>Her and her mother have an ok relationship, but Lee holds her responsible for the fact that she didn't get to be a kid and had to deal with so much internalized homophobia and arophobia

>Once she actually starts pursuing girls and feeling better about herself she is kind of popular with them. Don't ask her how jftfktkt

>I feel like she's the type to dress very masc, but wear something really fem and cute at parties or special events. I don't really think she has a preference, she can pull off both

I want gay Eddy and arospec lesbian Lee bonding over their shitty family situations and the intense internalised homophobia it gave them and finding that specific common ground and understanding in each other.

Then seeing them become progressively closer friends and finding other things to bond over like music, fashion, video games, random awful movies they like to make fun of and being little shits pulling pranks together.

Eddy and Lee being gay friends and Eddy gets in a relationship at some point and seems really happy. It makes Lee start thinking about relationships and at one point she's like:

Lee: huh, I dunno if I want one of those.

Eddy: yeah? That's cool too. I mean like ya don't need to want to date anybody to be into girls.

Lee: you think so?

Eddy: yeah sure!

And Lee doesn't say it, but Eddy telling her that actually meant a lot to her cause her whole life she's felt like being in a relationship was something that she had to do even when she realised she was gay.