#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers
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Was helping Farmer Jovan with his crops again today when his grandkid came over. He (the grandkid) is too young to join the Academy, so he thought it was really interesting to have a stormtrooper around and kept asking me all kinds of questions.
At one point, he asked why we wear armor all the time.
With Halloween swiftly approaching, I was in a spooky mood. I told him it's because when you officially become a stormtrooper, Captain Phasma turns you into a vampire. We wear the armor to cover our skin so we can walk around in the daylight without turning to dust.
Well. . . let's just say I hope he forgets what I said, because now he's SUPER excited to join the Academy, and I don't want his little heart to break when he's finally old enough to enroll and he finds out it's really because the First Order needed a bunch of uniforms, and betaplast is cheaper than wool and a lot easier to spot clean.
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#captain phasma#first order#betaplast#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers#vampires#halloween#spooky#farmer jovan#community service
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Hux's first opinion of Kylo
There are things about which Hux would rather gouge his own eyes out with a spoon than admit aloud. There are still other things that he would rather blow his own brains across the Finalizer rather than so much as think. His first impression--or impressions--of Kylo fall into both categories, for if Hux were to be honest, he had three, each an almost perfect five years from the last. Three first impressions and one uncomfortable truth. Hux doesn’t like to think about it. He’s considered every available option to handle the matter, and none of them are palatable, so he studiously ignores the matter and carries on with his business. When he has to, and it’s not often that he has to, he acknowledges the second as the only of the three. It’s easier that way. Cleaner.
It is a lie.
First Impression: Take Two, Kylo Ren
The thing that strides up the gangway reminds Hux less of Darth Vader and more of the old Imperial Deathtroopers. The creature, for it is less creature than man, walks with enormous, clunky strides, clenched fists, and a helmet that looks like it ought to be too tight around the skull.
Before Hux, the Supreme Leader gestures with one hand.
“My apprentice,” he says. “Kylo Ren.”
Hux inclines his head sharply and receives silence in response. It’s difficult to see in the enormous cavernous space; the Supreme Leader’s hologram is the only true source of light, and the creature’s black mask blends seamlessly into the dark behind him. Hux turns back to the Supreme Leader.
“There will come a time when he joins you aboard your flagship,” he says, as if the matter were trifling. “Until such a day comes, I urge you to continue work on the weapon. It is the fulcrum on which this effort turns.”
“Of course,” Hux replies. He spares one more glance at the creature--Kylo Ren. Hux doubts that’s the real name, merely a title. It’s more like Vader and less like a ‘trooper, then. The thought makes the notion of a co-commandership slightly less nauseating.
“Go,” the Supreme Leader orders. “Bring the Republic to its knees.”
First Impression: Take Three, Kylo Ren
For a long few moments, Hux can’t form words. For an even longer few moments, he can’t think. He’s paralyzed, caught in the absolute impossibility of what he’s seeing, the knowledge that, after all of this time, it’s...it’s...
Hux had hated Kylo Ren, and he still does, but now? Now that he knows?
Kylo stares at him with those sad eyes for the first time--no, Hux’s mind screams, second, the second time--and Hux feels the ground falling out from under him.
First Impression: Take One, Kylo Ren Ben Solo
It’s a sunny day, and Naboo’s beaches glitter much like the sea that laps up against them. Hux sinks his toes into the sand and tilts his head toward the sky.
Stupid child, his father roars in the back of his mind. Hux quiets him for the moment in favour of the sun on his face and the wind in his hair. He’s always liked being outside, to tell the truth. (He’s not afraid to admit it to himself, not yet.) He likes the sounds, the textures--how the air itself is different, heavy with water and organics that ships filter out as toxins.
Hux is there alone. There are other cadets, equally well-connected enough to swing a trip to Naboo for shore-leave, or what passes for it in the Academy, but Hux shook them much earlier. Now, he settles down, comfortable and--dare he say it--happy.
He doesn’t doze, though it’s a near thing. The sun makes him drowsy and thirsty and exuberant all in one, and time passes without his active realization of it. When he does become aware of things, it’s because there’s a splash from nearby.
Hux sits, immediately aware. There are Humans on Naboo, but there are other things, too, Gungans. Nasty creatures, if the xenobiology instructor is to be believed. Hux peers at the water, noting the enormous ripples, and waits to see what comes up.
The answer surprises Hux. There’s a dark mop of hair, weighed down by the water, followed by a pale neck followed by enormous, equally pale shoulders. Hux swallows. The man in the water is in tremendous physical shape, far beyond what Hux could ever aspire to. He stands, brushing the water out of his face, and Hux’s heart stops in his chest.
Him, Hux’s mind supplies. The man notices him and offers a wave--shy, as if he wasn’t expecting Hux to have seen him. Hux waves back and watches as the man slogs towards shore. The swimming trunks he’s wearing can not be regulation--except, of course they’re not, Hux thinks. The man’s not part of the Academy. Hux would have known if he were. He would have--Hux salivates to think of what he would have done.
“Afternoon,” the man greets, squeezing out his hair. “You’re gonna burn out here.”
Hux glances down at himself--scrawny, pasty, bony. He has to resist the urge to cover himself.
“I put on lotion,” Hux replies, defensive. He regrets it immediately. This stranger is hot, hotter than the sun, hotter than--
“You’ll need some more,” the man says. “I’ve got some down there.”
Hux initially doesn’t see the tilt of his head as he gestures down the beach.
“Was that meant to be a pick-up line?” he asks, incredulous.
The man laughs. It’s sonorous and rich and the most wonderful noise Hux has heard to-date.
“Down the beach,” the man clarifies “though I wouldn’t be opposed.”
Hux is sure he’s bright red. “Really,” he says. “You always offer lotion to complete strangers?”
The man smiles. “You got a name?” he asks.
“Of course.”
“Do I get to know it?”
“Depends,” Hux replies, haughty. “Do I get to know yours?”
Something crosses the man’s face--surprise, Hux thinks. He hasn’t seen a bad look on him yet, mostly because he’s preoccupied with the man’s overlarge pecs and impossible arms. Water runs down him. Hux thinks he’s seen this in a romantic holo, or maybe a porno.
“If you don’t already know, you’ll be upset,” the man replies.
“Famous?”
“Unfortunately.”
“I’m not,” Hux says, standing. The man’s a bit taller than him. Hux likes it.
The man licks his lips. “Ben Solo,” he says.
“The Senator’s son?” Hux asks.
Ben’s smile drops just a bit. “Disappointed?” he asks.
“Am I supposed to be?” Hux retorts. “You will be in me, at least. My name’s Armitage.”
“Armitage?”
“See?”
Ben covers that wonderful mouth of his with an enormous hand, and Hux has to be careful because he’s 90% sure the next words out of his mouth are going to be please marry me.
“Armie,” Hux says. “My friends call me Armie. At least, they would if I had any.”
Ben looks between the two of them. His eyes are sad, Hux thinks, but not for long. Ben’s reaching for him. “May I?” he asks.
“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t,” Hux replies, trying to keep an airy, light tone. Ben snags his hand, cradling it in his own.
“Let’s get you out of the sun,” Ben says, eyes glimmering. Hux giggles; he can’t help it. Ben tugs him along the beach, moving just this side of too fast, his grip just this side of too tight.
Hux wants to keep him forever, standing in the sun in soaked swimming trunks wearing that goofy smile. For a glorious few hours, it’s all he can think of, fantasize of, want.
As soon as he’s finished at the Academy, he thinks, he’ll find darling Ben Solo. He’ll find him and they’ll stay together and they’ll love it. They’re made for each other. It’s just another few years.
He tells Ben so much, after. It’s dark and they’re covered with sweat and sand and lotion and other things, things that Hux would rather wash off sooner rather than later. It’s an hour for secrets. Ben tells him about his training, and Hux tells him about the Order and the Academy, and about how he wants to see him again.
In the dark, Ben’s eyes are still sad, but there’s something else there--ferocity, Hux thinks. Raw energy. Passion. Power. Ben kisses him like a man drowning, and Hux nearly suffocates under it.
“What if you don’t recognize me?” Ben asks, crawling over Hux.
“I will,” Hux promises. “I will.”
#kylux#first meetings#benarmie#armitage hux#kylo ren#ben solo#snoke#oh my god this was going to be fast and then shit happened#sithofren
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Okay, yesterday's plan to stop the gunners from eating at their posts was a terrible failure. I did not think it through.
My first mistake was making one of those ad deals with a bakery near the Academy.
Apparently, it was a really good ad.
Now there are muffin crumbs all over the consoles.
Sigh. I give up. I'm just gonna cover their keyboards with plastic and hope for the best.
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#ads#bakery#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers#keyboard#plastic
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Felt really rough today. Terrible headaches. Fatigue. General grumpiness.
Went to medbay in case I'd picked up some terrible virus last time I was at the Academy.
Nope. Doc said it was withdrawal symptoms. Some monster put decaf in the break room coffee maker and did not label it as such. I had been innocently drinking it all morning.
Why? Why would my own people betray me so?
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#doc#medbay#break room#coffee#decaf#headaches#betrayal#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers
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The branches of the Armitage Hux Academy for Aspiring Troopers that we've been spreading to other planets have become pretty popular. Which is great for First Order recruitment, but with more schools comes the necessity for more teachers.
In today's morning meeting, Hux mentioned that he's been considering getting droids to teach the core classes (math, history, and such) to save money, so he would only have to pay biological teachers to teach the more advanced classes, like combat and engineering.
I was like, "Noooooooo, bro. Not a great idea."
Look, you all know I'm the least droidophobic person in the galaxy, but I've met some of those old-ass professor droids, and their programming is. . .not great.
Like, I actually met a history professor droid at the library once. He was SUPER old, so I asked if he had any cool historical events he could recount for me.
Dude legit started his story with, "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. . ."
Bruh. that's how you start a fairy tale, not a history lesson. You could at least give me a frame of reference like a BBY year or a stardate or something I can work with.
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#general hux#first order#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers#droids#morning meeting#bby#stardate#a long time ago in a galaxy far far away#what the heck Huyang
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Gonna have to slow down my experiments with the disintegration vacuum. The power cells for Little Roomba's disintegration ray are starting to get low, and the replacements are hella expensive.
Which, to be perfectly honest, is probably for the best. The far corner of the Academy grounds is starting to look like it was attacked by a swarm of Minecraft creepers and the grounds keepers are getting pissed.
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#roomba#no disintegrations#minecraft#creeper#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers#oops#grounds keepers#power cells
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Mitaka's "How To" videos have been spreading pretty quickly.
Partly from people actually learning to do basic repairs and maintenance.
Mostly from Academy students going viral on the holonet by posting videos of themselves dancing to the "Lefty Loosey, Righty Tighty" song on social media.
Which, honestly, may have been Mitaka's secret motive all along.
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#lieutenant mitaka#holonet#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers#viral#dance#lefty loosey righty tighty#song#how to
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Asked Deej today what, exactly, it is that combat troopers even do now that we don't just conquer planets and force them to join the First Order anymore.
She said, "Demonstrations, mostly."
"Demonstrations of power? Like, you murder the most powerful people in front of their citizens or intimidate them with your superior fire power until they surrender to us?"
"Oh, no. Nothing like that. We mostly do a lot of marching, spar with each other, do heavily-choreographed flyovers with TIE fighters, that sort of thing. Then they finish it all off with a motivational speech from one of our officers about how peace and order can be achieved through proper education. That usually impresses the locals enough that they want to open their own branch of the Academy."
"So. . .if we're slowly taking over the galaxy by winning the hearts and minds of its inhabitants. . .why do we even teach combat training anymore?"
"I asked Captain Phasma the same thing. Her answer was basically 'Shut up. It's fun.'"
Yeah, okay. Fair.
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#captain phasma#dg-1994#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers#combat troopers#fun#first order
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Almost ready for Halloween!
My costume is finished, I bought candy to bring to the Academy's party tomorrow (Gummy bears. ~Spooky~ gummy bears.), and I've turned off the Service Request app so no one can call me in to work.
Let's goooooooooooo
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#halloween#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers#party#candy#gummy bears#service request
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One of the younger Academy students saw me after class and said his shoes had come untied. He asked for help tying them so they wouldn't fall off.
Uh.
Apparently, the locals wear feet coverings that are held closed by intricately-looped "shoelaces". I. . . do not even know what to do with that. I was raised by the First Order and they put me in boots before I was old enough to understand what "feet" were. I have no idea how to tie a shoe.
Given time and practice, I'm sure I could have figured it out, but in the moment, I panicked and fastened the youngling's foot coverings with a Keldabe anchoring bend.
Looking back, that was probably the wrong choice, but until his parents cut him loose, that kid's shoes ain't going NOWHERE.
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#first order#boots#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers#shoelaces#i like your shoelaces#thanks i stole them from the supreme leader#keldabe anchoring bend
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Did some research on what porgs need to thrive in captivity and learned a lot.
Long story short, the Scout Troopers and I will be learning how to build birdhouses this weekend.
I'm currently drafting plans for a lovely little two-story home for them (the porgs, not the Scout Troopers) that will go in the garden outside the Academy. They'll be happier outside. On a planet. Where they can, like, see sunshine and eat food.
I'll miss having them in my quarters, but it's the best thing for them.
We've still got a few days to hang out before they "move out," though, so we're having a little party tonight. I ordered pizza for everyone. Pepperoni for me, fish for the porgs, and Droid oil for Katie, Earl, and Gary.
I don't think the droids can actually eat it, but I'm sure they'll appreciate the sentiment.
#ST-3V3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#K8-T3#Gary the mouse droid#earl the droideka#porgs#scout troopers#pizza party#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers
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Okay, so yesterday I did try hooking the lightsaber up to a gonk droid to see what would happen. At one point during the experiment, I left the room to use the refresher.
It did not occur to me that, during my absence, the gonk would get bored and wander off.
What I'm trying to say is I am SO SORRY to the folks walking down the hall outside my shop who came face-to-face with a giant walking battering carrying an overpowered laser beam. I know it was scary, but he's just a derpy little droid and he didn't mean any harm.
Fortunately, GNKs are pretty slow.
Still, to anyone who might have been caught by surprise and couldn't dodge in time: once you're done in medbay, please report to my engineering classroom at the Academy so I can supply you with any necessary prosthetics.
Again, SORRY!
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#lightsaber#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers#gnk#gonk droid#medbay#prosthetics#apologies
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Ben Solo is still hanging out in my workshop. I asked why he wouldn't leave. Doesn't he have classes to teach or something?
He said there aren't really that many Force adept younglings in the Academy, so he teaches one or two classes a day and then has, like, a ton of free periods. He's hanging out with me this week because he's bored.
I figured I might as well find some way to keep him amused so he'll stay out of my hair, so I grabbed some potatoes I got from the farmers market and a few nails and wires and showed him how to build a potato battery.
Now he thinks I'm some kind of space wizard.
Finally, someone around here is giving me and my skills the respect they deserve. Bro can stay if he wants.
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#kylo ren#ben solo#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers#force adepts#potato battery#workshop
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My post from the other day made me think we should bring back First Order Game Night. It's been a while since we had one, due to how busy we get with the Academy, but I think it would be a nice bonding activity (and a way to earn a few extra credits for those who like to bet on winners).
The tricky part is finding games that a Force Ghost can't cheat at. Sure, Ben Solo has gone Light Side since his untimely death, but dude still likes to win.
Guitar Hero is out, since he's got those Force-enhanced reflexes. And I'm not entirely sure he can't read minds, so poker is out. Even Twister is a tough one, since he doesn't really have a physical form anymore.
If you have any ideas, please submit them. I love my students and my Scout Troopers, but I could use a fun night of hanging out with other grown-ups.
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#kylo ren#ben solo#force ghost#scout troopers#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers#game night#guitar hero#poker#twister#first order game night#the force#light side
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Thought I'd have a little fun today and try to sneak onto one of the combat troopers' transports so I could finally see one of their demonstrations (Relax, it wasn't Deej's squad.). I figured I'd just disguise myself a little and hop on board with the rest of them. Easy-peasy.
Unfortunately, Captain Phasma caught me when I was in line to board and pointed out that a) I couldn't leave because I hadn't arranged for a substitute to teach my classes at the Academy tomorrow, and b) While attempting to disguise myself by wearing a false mustache from Lieutenant Mitaka's stage makeup kit was rather clever, it doesn't work as well when you adhere the mustache to the *outside* of your helmet.
Ugh. Why does everyone in this place hate fun?
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#captain phasma#lieutenant mitaka#dg-1994#demonstration#combat troopers#stage makeup#fun sponge#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers
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Who are the members of the First Order with musical talent and have they performed together?
Depends on how you define "talent". Or "music".
There are a few people who have picked up music due to passion or a need for expression or boredom. Or maybe they've decided that acquiring lots of different skills will give them better chances at achieving their goals.
There's a First Order band that sometimes performs at school functions. Since there are so few musical First Order members (You need free time to pick up music, and folks like combat troopers or medical personnel don't have a ton of that.), some spots get filled in with Academy students.
Sometimes, a few of us just meet up with instruments or voices or random items that make noise and just jam together. I wouldn't really call those get-togethers "making music," though. They're more like very loud group therapy sessions.
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#ask#general hux#captain phasma#ben solo#kylo ren#music#first order#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers#band#jam session#talent#combat troopers
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