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redheadspark · 6 months

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Is it too early to drop a request for the prompt? This is my first *ever* request, so I don't know how this actually works.

Mine is #8 and #15 with Az.

It's a personal one that is close to my heart. I'd love that kind of energy in my life, and maybe a good fic will help manifest that for me. 😉

I love your work, and I appreciate the effort you put into what you do! Thank you so much.

A/N - Aww this is great! This might be more of a somber piece, but I think it's great! Let me know what you think! I hope you like it!

Grief

Summary - Azriel knows a thing or two about grief, and he vows to never leave you in it.

Warnings - mostly angst with a hint of fluff in the end :)

The cool air was hitting you along your backside as you were kneeling in front of the small patch of new grass, the clouds above were giving off a shield over your head while you were holding a fresh bouquet of flowers in your hand. The meadow was cleared out, which is rare for a weekend since it would be filled to the brim with Velaris citizens to enjoy the weather. But that day everyone was in town, shopping for winter solstice that was right around the corner. You would have been joining them if you could, but not that day.

Not on the anniversary of your mother’s birthday.

Her grave was tucked away at a secluded piece of land, owned by Rhysand and used just for his family. It was a gift he wished to bestow on you when your mother passed away, making sure it was always well-kept and maintained. Being the ever-loving cousin that he was, he never wished for you to stress over the gravesite or the funeral, but you did. She was the one woman who raised you since you were an infant on her own, not leaning on others for help and making sure you could survive in the world on your own. You did, all thanks to her, and her sudden death at the hands of King Hybern and his invasion into Velaris devastated you to your core.

You were a wreck, but your mate stayed at your side.

Even now as you were placing the fresh flowers from Elaine’s personal garden on the grave, you knew he was standing not too far away and giving you the space you needed to both grieve and breathe. You sensed him, you always have since you two met as teenagers and then became mates 300 years ago. He knew how to show he was close by without saying a single word, which made you grateful for him as you took in a long breath and looked at the small slab of marble that was in the ground. Placing the flowers on top of the grave, you hummed.

“All is well here, Mother,” You replied, your voice softly floating in the air as the grass was swaying in the wind, “There’s peace again here in Velaris as we get ready for Winter Solstice. It was your favorite holiday, as was mine. It still is, and you should see the house and how we decorated it, plenty of garland and holly from head to toe. I think Elaine went a bit overboard this year, but I can’t say no to her,”

You chuckled wetly, a few tears were hitting your cheeks as you felt a small sliver of a shadow licking against your arm. You hummed, knowing who It was as the shadow swirled around your fingers, a silent request to join you. You nodded once, the shadows flicking away then the soft sound of boots in the grass coming your way from behind.

“We all miss you, Mother,” You continued, the footsteps stopping right behind you as you wiped some tears away briskly, “It’s not the same without you here. I know I miss you the most, I miss your laugh in the morning during coffee, I miss you telling Rhysand and Cassian to stop bickering with one another like they did when they were kids, and I miss hugging you. Your embraces were always home to me, and I’ve been missing them so,”

A scarred yet gentle hand was placed on your shoulder then, the faintest of pressure along there as you sighed and more tears fell.

“Azriel and I have been well. Your shop is running so well, Mother. You should see it, we’re almost sold out every day which helps in remodeling our home that you wanted us to have,” Once again you paused, clutching your fingers together a bit more as you were trying to find the right words in what you wanted to say. Wounds still felt fresh under your skin, past memories of the first year without your mother were flooding back to you and how hard those nights were. Not having her guidance or words of wisdom, not having her times of counsel when you were at a crossroads.

He knew of your mother and admired her for not only raising you on her own but also being a support for him, Cassian, and Rhsyand as you were all growing up together. He spoke to her about courting you, then later asking for your hand in marriage. His respect for her was massive, to which your mother loved him all the more and approved instantly.

“I know you will love my daughter and treat her as your equal, Azriel.”

“I swear to you, I will,”

Azriel was the backbone you needed to get through that dark time, holding you every night when you were in tears, always sitting at your side when you were lost in thought, during his love to you every chance he could. Azriel knew the guilt you carried in not protecting your mother during the attack in the town square, finding you hunched over her body and screaming into the void as no life was evident in her. That whole day was etched in tragedy and in pain. Hearing his voice brought you peace during those rougher nights.

“Why do you always think you have to do everything on your own?” Azriel asked against your head as you were snuggled against him in bed one summer night, his fingers raking through your hair and your legs intertwined, “I vowed to carry your burdens in dire times, sweetheart. You gotta let me,”

“I can’t,” You mourned into his shirt as he kissed your cheeks and shook his head.

“You can. I can no longer stomach seeing you got through this on your own. Grieving alone will kill you, baby. I won’t let you do that to yourself, you hear me?” He asked, you looking up at him and seeing his own eyes glistening a bit with tears. Tears from seeing you in pain, tears from not knowing how else to ease your pain and sorrow, and tears from simply thinking you were slipping away from him. You were grateful for him, the stubborn Illryian that he was to simply not let you out of his sight. You knew he also knew pain from his childhood and how true a mother’s love was.

You gave him the softest smile, and for the first time in a long time, you felt your mating bond hum and flutter in simple love and affection. It was safe to say your love for one another was simple and yet intense, mixed together in years of friendship and mutual respect.

“I can’t lose you either,” He stated to you as you held him a bit tighter, “I’ll do whatever it takes to bring that light in your eyes again, the same light I fell in love with when we were young. But losing you is not an option, not with me. I won’t survive in this world without you by my side,” He traced a few tears away with his scarred thumb, “I hate seeing you like this. Please..let me help.”

So you let him in, and you felt your heart preparing itself slowly but surely.

Azriel knelt down next to you, a bundle nestled in his arm showing an infant baby sound asleep and tucked away in a warm cotton blanket. You grinned at the sight, reaching over to tuck the blanket in a bit more under the chin of your babe, who cooed and snuggled into Azriel some more as the dark thick hair contrasted with the light yellow blanket. Looking from the babe to Azriel, you saw him smile with a hint of love and pride in those hazel eyes, then finally looking back at the grave in front of you.

“I want you to meet someone, Mother. This is your granddaughter,” You said softly, your voice no longer having pain but a sense of hope, “She was born in the summer, on the hottest day of the year actually. Madja said she was born a week early, and almost didn’t make it through the night since she was too tiny. But I knew, mother. I knew she was a strong babe and she would bring us joy, and she has. Her laugh reminds me of bells, she has her father’s eyes and my freckles, but I think she has your smile. I wish you could have held her, she’s so soft and little but I knew she’s fierce,”

“Like her mother,” Azriel hummed next to you, having you grin again. Your daughter was a shock for both you and Azriel, you both heard the news that you were with child and beyond happy. There were talks of you two wanting to have a family, but nothing too serious. Perhaps it was perfecting timing then, a new life coming into your little world that was still repairing itself and being made new. Azriel saw a growing seed inside of you as you were moving along in your pregnancy, a new sense of hope that sprouted from the notion of being a mother and having your own baby to love and care for.

The rest of the Inner Circle was excited for the babe, Nesta throwing a baby shower for you when you were 7 months along, High Lady Feyre painting your nursery from top to bottom with stars and hillsides, and even Rhysand gifting you both with handmade furniture to put in the nursery. Azriel requested Cassian and Elaine to be the godparents, and you knew that your child was going to have the best family to grow up with and to lean on.

For that, you were thankful. The same family that vowed to support you will now support your baby.

You and Azriel walked away from the grave and along the worn path in the meadow, you holding your daughter close in your arms as she was sleeping soundly without a care in the world. Azriel had a hand along your lower back both as a sense of peace and a sense of familiar protection. Every time you came to this place, you had moments of grief and sadness that came in small flickers of waves. But it wasn’t all bad now. Not with the life you had with your mate, with the Inner Circle, and now with your daughter.

Your daughter, who was named after her grandmother: Adeline Rose

The End

Hurt and Comfort Promp Session

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