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i used to be so obsessed with these books in quarantine. I really wish they were written better

Jack: where i come from there's a say

Jack: "Love is just around the corner"

Arabella: aw Jack, that's swee-

Jack: I come from a neighborhood with a lot of prostitutes

“ We’re free ”

This took a while bc I got banned from generating more than one at a time and it took several tries each to get ones that are close enough.

I want them soooo bad tho 😭

I’ll draw actual designs eventually, I just wanted to get the idea across.

Also that program is hellbent on not generating ponytails no matter what I describe them as so go off I guess lol

Me when people have the audacity to ask me “Why are you so quiet all the time?” after I get stared at, ignored, or spoken over whenever I put in a relevant piece to the conversation.

Arrived at book 8/ the timekeeper; but these are moments I'd stopped by in the earlier books;;

1) I didn't think Captain Laura taking her daughter back with her -- forcefully -- and separating Arabella from her crew mates will happen too soon ?? Like I've always read some hints at it form other posts but I thought it'll be sth at the end of the kids' adventures like by the last book of the series or sth

2) said captain better have apologized properly to her kid, I am angry for Arabella tbh / don't really agree with her going along with her mother this quickly, even if Arabella got to see her mom in action while being forcefully held in the ship but that still doesn't excuse her mom of all the years she's left her kid to deal with adult shit on her own

3) Jack did well shutting Fitzy up with all " her mother gets the final say in wherever she stays blah blah blah" .. 😒

I'll talk about other things/books later but that's what I can remember for now lol

There is one thing that bothers me with Armando Salazar “naming” Jack:

POTC wiki says that the novels in which Jack commanders the Barnacle and has adventures with Arabella Smith, Fitzwilliam P. Dalton III, Tumen, Jean Magliore and Constance Magliore happens around 1706. Which means it happens 2 years before Jack defeats El Matador Del Mar - Armando Salazar by making him sail into the Devil’s Triangle. The issue with that conclusion is that if we take those two at face value, it creates a continuity error with naming as Jack is already referred to as Jack Sparrow in the first novel, not only by himself in the interlude, but also by other characters, which if we took Salazar’s naming as canon, would mean that the characters must have met Jack after he was already a Pirate Lord... which makes no sense, because then Arabella would know he was a pirate, unless we assume that nobody knew who exactly defeated the Spanish Pirate Hunter, only knowing that he was defeated. Which then works with the whole Fitzwilliam shit going on in those novels, but is still kinda fishy when it comes to timeline, which I will describe below.

The issue being again that he is referred to as Sparrow not only by the narrator, but by himself and other characters multiple times when he was not yet named. Which means that if we want to treat the novels as canon, we cannot take the fact that Armando named Jack “the Sparrow” at face value, because it then fucks up the whole timeline of his life. I could at best assume that defeating Armando gave Jack’s new name value and power on top of making him a Pirate Lord of the Caribbean, but Armando could not have named him unless we assumed that novels happened after he became the Pirate Lord, in those brief 2 year gap between him defeating the Salazar and “having to abandon pirate life and start working for Beckett” which would make no sense if he was already a pirate at the time as in the novels Jack stresses a lot how much he hates pirates, and he doesn’t consider himself a pirate despite doing pirate things like looking for treasures and having adventures and fighting other pirates.

[Novels “The Coming Storm” (1) and “The Siren Song” (2) were published a month before the Dead’s Man Chest was released. “The Pirate Chase” (3) and “The Sword of Cortez” (4) as well as “The Age of Bronze” (5) were published just after the movie. Which means that Armando Salazar “naming Jack” was a retcon of the novels.]

Another issue is that it is stated somewhere that Jack ran away from home when he was 12, because he hated being a pirate (and because his grandmama was abusive and nearly killed him again) and that information also kind of suits the whole setting of the novels, so they could as well happen when he was just 12 if narration of the first novel specifically didn’t state that Jack, Arabella and Fitzwilliam were a few years older than Tumen and Jean, who were described as being at most 13 the oldest, which then makes the rest of them 15-18yo.

So, we can either have the fifth movie random lore gotcha with Armando naming Jack “the Sparrow” as canon, or we can have novels as canon, but we cannot have both, because novels were written so much longer before 5th movie and set in a moment in time so inconvenient that treating both as canon will inevitably confuse the whole timeline. I dunno how you, but I think it is easier to erase one random fact from a movie made pretty long after the novels, than rewrite the novels to have no usage of word “sparrow” in it.

Skeleton Crew

Film after film: Dante's Peak (dir. Roger Donaldson, 1997)

This box-office failure doesn't look so great brings a lot of trashy joy despite its massive budget. It has Brosnan, who doesn't work great either as a lead action star, despite his tenure, happening during that time, as James Bond. Hamilton is also not enthusiastic enough to sell me on whether she's happy to be here. I like the supporting cast more than I expected: Hallahan (in his last role) is typecast as a smarmy yet likeable asshole; Field is funny and pops up in every scene she's in; there's unexpected gravitas to Hoffman, whom I didn't know before (she's in this multi-season early-1990s soapy show Sisters, starring Sela Ward and Swoosie Kurtz, which I have never watched but would like to); Tzi Ma pops up without much significance to the plot, but it's always fun to see him before he appears in my favorite The Farewell.

W A T C H E D

POV : Nobleman still miss his friends but have guilty

I just want to bully Fitzy 😇

Happy Valentines Day!

Old Sparrabella fan art from when I was 13

Barnacle High sims sometime after the High School pack came out. I don’t play them because I get bored quickly when I play with existing characters or people and no progression in mind. So I started a decades challenge instead lol.