#appreciate anyone who read all of that
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I think enjoying life is really simple but people make it much harder.
Get rid of the mentality that things could be worse if things aren't the best right now.
Enjoy every moment.
Stop looking so far into the future and enjoy what's going on now. Do things you want to do or try. Failure does not mean that you are a failure.
Don't worry about other people's achievements, and stop comparing yourself to other people.
Enjoy every moment.
#sorry for the lil rant#the other day my sis asked if i was happy#i said yes but the whole table was content or semi sad#just wish more ppl were happy#i don't believe there's much of a purpose in life other than enjoying the current day you're in#so much stuff is just made up so why stress so much over it all?#easier said then done im sure#i know I'm tryna preach on the sad website but feel like every social media ppl joke about s*icide too much#then they're quick to say it's no joke#then stop talking like that 😠#idk this is the only place i can really share my opinions#appreciate anyone who read all of that#text#mine
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Happy Christmas,
Henry
#rwrb#rwrbedit#red white and royal blue#alex x henry#firstprince#userninz#userveronika#chrissiewatts#usersteen#usernuria#userclara#usermegsb#mine*#merry christmas to those who celebrate!!!!!!#this is your canon reminder that henry's holidays are no longer lonely now he is spending them with alex :')#casey's brain was massive when they wrote this letter to alex from henry#bc uuhhhhh writer henry writing alex love letters and poems is exactly what he deserves#anyway to anyone still reading this and still putting up w my gifsets then i appreciate u loads#i hope you all have an amazing christmas🥺
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Appreciate the little things.
Not to ignorantly deny all of the big bad things in the world, but to survive them.
#magpie ramblings#there's so much shit going on that it gets overwhelming#and it's sad that we've made ourselves feel guilty for looking away when it's too painful to watch#but we literally CAN'T survive if we keep dwelling on the unfairness of the world#and the more you ask why can't this happen or why is that happening#the quicker it is to just ask 'why do anything at all?' ... the answer is simple#'just because'#so fuck it#i'm going to appreciate a short video of someone drawing a cat; just because#i'm going to read a book about a long lost culture and history; just because#i'm going to post personal book reviews of books hardly anyone has heard of; just because#i'm going to be thankful that my indoor plants have been doing well; just because#i'm going to let someone make a decision i don't agree with and not confront them; just because#i'm going to spend the little of my own money helping maybe just one other person in the world; just because#i'm going to be kind to those who haven't treated me kindly; just because#i'm going to smile regardless of the unjust in this world; just because
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NICK & JESS in New Girl S01E03: Wedding
#trying to evoke 2012 era tumblr on this one asdkaskdh because they really bring out the nostalgia in me#anyway this is a nick miller brown suit appreciation blog <3 also to quote my partner 'she's so pretty it makes my eyes hurt'#newgirledit#tvedit#tvgifs#televisiongifs#nick x jess#nick miller#jessica day#romancegifs#also for anyone who hasn't seen the show (do you exist first of all)#yeah you read that right. this is episode THREE. they met two. episodes. ago.#nick miller clearly went to the fox mulder school of pseudoplatonic intensity. i mean he had an xfiles poster in his dorm in college....#and i think we all know jess admires a woman in a power suit. so hm. much to think about in terms of xfiles interconnectedness
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another painting
#because i have no self control lmao#käärijä#jere pöyhönen#digital art#this was surprisingly fun to paint#i usually prefer working in black and white because it's easier for me#but this one was fine lol#also#i just wanted to say#thank you to everyone who leaves nice comments in the tags of my posts#i read all of them and seriously i appreciate this so much you have no idea#i've been absolutely miserable recently#and reading all the nice things you guys wrote#really made me feel better#so yeah... thank you!#(i do appreciate all likes and reblogs btw and i don't want anyone to feel pressured into leaving a comment or smth)#(i just really had to say thanks lol)
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a few little room adjustments! 💖💚🌸 i love my desk a lot now, and the new little sakura Laito tapestry is soo cute!!😭💖 (look, my room is not fully Laito-only actually😔😔 this part at least... the wig is Shogun Raiden btw!)
also say hi to the chibi gang on my table<3 (no space left for them on my shrine lmaoo)
#years of collecting little things here and there so now i feel very happy with my room!#it really changed over the years#also go and collect things you see that make you happy!!#i also have a whole collection of crystals and some peacock feathers#always loved these things since i was tiny#another awesome decoration are fairylights <33#and cute plushies#books you enjoy#photos you love on your wall from trips and friends and events#next to all of your favourite characters merch ofc#happy comfort place is very important!<3#bless everyone who read all that#putting a little spell here for you for good things to happen to you and that your wishes and plans become wonderful reality<3#btw i got the pastel pink-white desk shelf from aliexpress it really made everything better<3 just got it but if anyone wants the link?#im happy to share it<3#diabolik lovers#diahell#dialovers#laito sakamaki#sakamaki laito#merch#laito appreciation#ディアボリックラヴァーズ#ディアラバ#逆巻ライト
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hey guys. remy design
#remy the farmer#dol#my art#sorry it took so long for me to make this#im watching live shows for one of my favorite music projects in the corner and i have to pause drawing to scream every 5 seconds#if i were in that crowd id be yelling. id faint. only but a dream to attend one of these#to the people that sent me another personality swap request also. i promise im not ignoring you but the one that said#''avery and eden swap would be a nightmare''#youre completely right. it is a nightmare. i cant think of anything#so if either of you have any more ideas or anyone else does then PLEASE help me im begging you all i can think of is ??? i dont know#i hope you guys like this remy though#i was worried about if it was good enough but special thanks to the people on my side account that told me it was fine#i posted fem remy there too if you want to see it#i think when i do fem vers of them all ill group them up because itll take me less time to make it since ill already have the design basis#and also i feel bad for spamming you guys#actually would you prefer i keep posting them one by one or should i post them all at once? for these designs#i feel bad posting separately because that means the people who rb my posts reblog like 10 separate design posts in a row :(#and i dont want them to spam their blogs because of me#but i do really really appreciate it when i see someone do that in my notifs :) so thank you a lot if you do#and also thank you to everyone who leaves tags i read each and every one of them obsessively like a freak#this is getting too long im going to hit the tag limit at this rate#ill try to work on the avery eden thing again#see you all later :)
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if orv gets an official english print release based on the edited ebook or whatever and becomes mainstream (<- delusional) i will be so insufferable i will be one of those "i liked it before it was cool" and not only did i like it before it was cool but i also read the original unedited version of the novel and know the REAL story better than any of the normies
#paradoxically despite tellung everyone who breathes in my direction to READ ORV i also do not want it to become (relatively) mainstream#under any circumstances#you have to be sufficiently insane to finish reading all 551 chapters and appreciate it#i can't trust anyone else with it#telling***
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1/16/24 Theoradus from Dragon slippers
#daily dragons#1/16/24#16#traditional#dragon slippers#ok so first#apparently today is appreciate a dragon day#so im celebrating with a drawing of the best guy ever#secondly#apparently theres a dragon slippers wiki???? i didnt know that im gonna have to go back and do that for shardas#anyway theoradus deserved so much better ik we all love shardas but theoradus kept the slippers made out of the skin of his queen in his#hoard for who knows how long without really telling anyone and when creel asked for them he still willingly gave them up bc he needed to#keep his word and then when he died in the war genuinely the first time i read that i was devastated anyway i love theoradus
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A Word-Filled Update
that no one's asking forrrr~
Sooooo, hiya~ ^^
Realized I kinda dropped out without much word, and wanted to give a lil update to anyone who may care, (and specifically to all the unfilled requests that have been sat in my inbox for months now T~T)
Dropping it under a cut because it gets quite long~ but I'll also TL;DR it with: been a bit burnt out, trying to get back into this, I apologize for all the unanswered asks, and I will be trying to get to the ones I can, but I'll be focusing more on trying to enjoy the process of making content~ Thank you to anyone who's stuck around <3
(Tw for brief mention of mental health/neurodivergencies~ nothing in depth or dark, but just incase anyone wants to avoid that <3)
Nothing serious has been going on, mostly just burn out and a bit of drama in main friend group, combined with free time just being a lot more limited recently~ (not a bad thing, most of it is because I'm getting to talk more with friends I've gotten closer to this past year~)
That said, I've been trying to get back into content, making it, reblogging it, etc, without letting it become all-consuming. I find, with the way my brain works, mostly to do to some wonderful neurodivergent tendencies, I tend to fall heavily into 'all of nothing' mentality.
This shows up in my day to day life, (ie: can't wash the dishes for weeks until I suddenly do them all in one day) and I've definitely noticed it with content creation. Need to write and finish a story in one go, record a wav as fast as possible, always afraid I'll lose that motivation.
But honestly? I love making content on here! And I'm not a huge blog, nor do I care if I am (at least trying not to, if I'm being painfully honest~) but I genuinely love making content. Whether it's just for me, a request that I am hoping one specific person will enjoy, or a story I write with a community in mind, I just love creating~
So, I'm trying to ease my way back into this! Bit by bit, let it be fun, and enjoyable, with less internal pressure to produce as much as I can, as fast as I can, and make it be perfect.
I won't lie and say 'numbers don't matter to me', if I'm honest, they do. But I'm learning more and more how to let it be about the content, and to just enjoy the process~ (and if people like it, that'll be a wonderful bonus!~)
Wooo this is getting so long, I apologize sincerely! Last thing, something I've mentioned a few times previously but never really let myself get into... requests~
I'm so honoured that people care about my content enough to have asked for things, and getting any ask, request, praise, ask lists, heck even just a 'hi!' is honestly the best part of this blog for me!
Buuuut, I definitely worked myself into burn-out before with a "every request needs to be filled and fast" mentality, that led to just... not filling any.
So! I'm going back through my inbox, and deleting some older ones that I don't have a clear vision/motivation for. I apologize to anyone who requested them, though by now it's possible they're long gone~ But I think this will help me not only start enjoying the creation process without feeling so overwhelmed, but also start actually getting more content made~
There are definitely a bunch that I still adore, and am thrilled to get to test out, but if there's one you remember sending, and you really want to see it completed, please feel free to send another ask saying what it is you want done, and I'll see if I can get that going <3
And if you've stuck it out to the end here- uh hi! ^^ I'm sorry this is so long, I'm such a words person, but I appreciate you so much, not just for any support you've offered, but just bothering to read this <3 I genuinely didn't expect most to make it this far, so thank you so deeply <3 and I hope to see you guys around as I start reblogging stuff more!~
#waterfalltalks#waterfallrambles#more like waterfallparagraphs im so sorry hahaha#been thinking about making this for awhile- but always felt so anxious???#idk why specifically... maybe cause i cant be short to save my life#or maybe because it feels like ive left it too long?? been promising so much and never fulfilling#but i am gonna try!! not to fulfill everything but- to start enjoying it again#i worry this comes off like i have an ego... i really dont haha~ i dont expect anyone to really interact with my blog or care#it was always meant to be for ME- and i just hoped to create things ID enjoy and that#if anyone else enjoyed it too that i could start giving back to the community thats given me so much content ive adored#anyways this is a LONNNGGG post and so are these tags hahaha~#using this blog as a journal again i think! but its mine! so okay! im gonna let myself!#gonna add here too that i might be reblogging with shorter tags for a bit- i promise its not cause im not excited!!!#just trying to make it the least overwhelming situation so i can start really getting back into ENJOYING it~#thank you to anyone who read this far and a huge thank you to all my friends from here and anyone who stuck around <3#i appreciate and love you all so dearly <333#not snz
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okay, so i was doing a little planning session for the next few chapters of four walls and have been forced to accept that it’s going to be WAY longer than i originally intended. like. so much longer. when i first came up with the idea i was like, “okay, a cute little friends to lovers fic that’ll maybe be a little longer than here comes the sun”, but now we’re a YEAR in, and only just hitting the midpoint of the fic???
at over 125k words, it's somehow become an entire novel-length endeavour without me even noticing - and honestly i'm a little intimidated by the task i've set myself. i've never written anything this long or in-depth in my adult life (much as i've always wanted to), and it's kind of a really big deal for me to have got to this stage with a project. i'm totally in love with it, but also definitely feeling the pressure now, because god. writing something this long is HARD. there are so many threads and themes to weave in, and writing the shift of inner and outer relationships whilst maintaining an innate sense of identity is so challenging. the more i write, the more the characters mean to me - and the more i want to do them justice.
i worry that i won't, sometimes. and i think that's the most difficult part of writing something this long. the fear that you'll spend hours and weeks and months writing something that ends up only ever telling a half-hearted version of the story you really wanted to tell. and it can feel like very a lonely process, too. going through the ebbs and flows of writing while shouldering all that pressure. it makes me more grateful than ever for the wonderful people who engage with this fic - it really helps keep me in tune with the joy of creativity, and quietens the self-criticism and doubt that so often slows me down.
i don't really know what i'm trying to say with this post. i suppose i just wanted an outlet for the emotions that come with writing a longer fic, because it's just - a lot, sometimes. and it's been taking up space inside my head i'd rather have for the actual writing. that fear that despite all my best efforts, it'll all just collapse in on itself like a black hole. i know it won't, because i love this fic too much to ever allow that to happen - but the fear is still there, sometimes. when i'm thinking about the trajectory of the story rather than getting lost in the actual writing of it. i suppose the truth of it is i've never been that good with commitment or intimacy - and writing this fic not only explores both of those things in significant depth (no coincidence i'm sure lol), but is in itself an intimate act and a huge commitment.
i know i just need to trust myself and the process - and in the moments where i do, it's just magic. i love the alex and miles i've created in this little world so much it almost feels like i've known them half my life - and i'm so, SO excited to finally be getting my teeth into this next phase of the fic. it's what i've been working towards since the very beginning, and while i know it's going to challenge me in lots of ways, i'm also feeling so inspired about it; some of the passages i've written for the next few chapters are my favourites of the whole fic, and i absolutely can't wait to share them.
i hope no one minds that it's going to be a good while before four walls draws to a close. i fell in love with the idea for it the moment i had it - but writing from alex's headspace has taken me down paths i'd never have expected, and made me realise that there was SO much more to this story that i want to tell than i originally thought. sometimes it feels like the characters have taken over and are writing it themselves, and i’m just along for the ride with little say in where they take me. all i know is that i'm very grateful to be with them for the journey 🌟
#an insight into my psyche/creative process that literally no one asked for lol#idk if any fellow writers or creatives have similar experiences with any of this stuff#but yeah#i know no one really cares about the innermost workings of my emotional/creative landscape but writing all this out felt very freeing 💗#sometimes understanding your relationship with what you're writing is as important a part of the process as understanding the story itself#big love and appreciation to anyone who reads through all my ramblings 🫶#next chapter coming soooooooon!#writing stuff#creative writing#writers on tumblr#four walls#lulu posts
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can people be normal about personality disorders and DID and stuff please im a teacher i want to know what to do to help a student with this.
#ari opinion hour#teaching tag#like shut the fuck up about how mucb people with NPD love lying and shit No. Give me the actual facts.#in an unbiased and not-overly-vitriolic way.#i dont wanna be That Guy that doesnt get it!!!#just in general all the ones that are fuckin demonized its just. Unhelpful.#and i worry that like#reading it will make me biased and treat students with them unfairly :(#anyway if anyone knows any sources about any typically demonized disorder that are actually helpful i would appreciate that cause im going#to have students at some point with all of them and i dont wanna be That Asshole who doesnt know jack shit i want them to learn and from#experience you cant do that if you have to be constantly on your guard all the time!!!
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do you think you will publish the pride au this year?? or when do you think you will? (from a very excited and impatient anon)
hiya! so the short answer to this is—i dont really know! not with enough certainty to start making hard predictions. the long answer is that it’s probably heavily dependent on how much of it i write this summer once i finish uni—i would love to say it’ll be done this year but im also aware that im going into my final year of uni come september so will have dramatically less time 2 write!! i am an incredibly slow writer by habit as ive said before and some parts of what ive written so far took months to write whereas other parts of similar lengths were done in a just a few weeks like the end of ch2!! and i am very motivated to start writing again once i complete my uni assignments so i wouldn’t rule out getting enough done over summer to put it up before the end of this year, but i also wouldn’t hold myself to that!! so i suppose the most concrete thing i can say about it is that it if it does go up next year it’ll be very early next year, but ill probably have a better idea of how long things will take based on where i am by the end of the summer : ^ )
#appreciate that talking in ‘years’ about fic is vaguely ridiculous but i fear that is the deadly combination between the slowest writer#alive (me) + university + a fic that will probably be 80-100k long. on the upside for anyone who does want 2 read it when it does come out#there will be pretty quick + regular updates! since all the chapters will already be written lol. but yeah essentially it wil just be.#however long it’ll be!#telegram#anon#pride au
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Reading moodboard #84430940 (Patreon)
#Doodles#I wonder what this is in reference to lol - could be anything really!#Bit funny actually - I was reading something else in overlap at the time - a fic from another fandom though it ended up not being for me#Different authors just speak to different people! It was fun to come back to something familiar and realize Just how much I appreciate it ah#Novel and familiar! My very favourite <3 And of course it was a wonderful experience on top of that hehe ♪♫#Numbers lol - I really have done way too much age headcanon math pfft#I just love timelines! And even if the hints aren't exact they /are/ hints and I'm going to use them!!#The numbers that are established are such fun markers - and using characterization as hints towards how many years have passed! Ah! ♪#Like how it's definitely possible that Max took a two year but considering his family he was probably pushed to do a four year#There's no confirmation either way but it's just so fun to consider what they'd do based on how they're written!#These are the kind of written math problems I enjoy hehe#I was being a bit self-deprecating for that doodle actually tho lol - art mimics life and all that pfft#Also confirmation of him being a Lit Major ❤️💕💖💞💗 Small details give me big love you must understand this lol#As evidenced lol ♪ Adding to my playlist definitely didn't help it very strongly upgraded to Big Love for like a week straight lol#Terrible ♪ Couldn't stand it <3 Genuinely painful ♫#Lol - ''finding'' more - it's what had my blood on fire! I'm so grateful for mirrors#Anyone who's been following me for a while knows I have this whole thing about Legacy and what you leave behind and the internet in general#That the internet is forever except when it's not - that plenty of things get deleted or lost etc. etc. and it makes me very sad :(#So seeing that there was an in-built preservation - it only saved Some things but anything saved is precious!! It made me very happy <3#And then finishing off 💔💕 Beautifully heartbreaking ah#Even skim-reading later made me cry again! It's deeply affecting hhh#Another experience I'm so happy to be able to have ♥ Another tally on the wall haha <3
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I wasn't planning on doing anything this week, because of this weeks strike. But the environment me and my sister's are in isn't good for us.
My hair is falling out, I'm constantly in pain from stress, and my anxiety is so bad that I cannot sleep. Meanwhile my sister is bleeding from the stress. That's just the stress my older sister and I are going through.
Hello, if you aren't familiar with me, I spent 2023 homeless for majority of the year. We are living with someone else and have been since Thanksgiving. Since then, my sister got a job, I am working on getting my ID, i have the money for it, I just need to get to a DMV, and I am enrolling myself into school again.
I stay at home with my two younger siblings, one is still a minor, the other is an adult, but they're both disabled and need someone to help them fulltime. Hence why I stay at home.
We are with a legal guardian and their partner, but our legal guardian does not own the property. And it's unclear how much they know is going on with us and their partner who is making us stress out to the point we deem it unsafe.
This partner stated I cannot stay on the property to take care of my siblings unless I enroll into school. I am hoping I have everything I need to fully enroll because I have very few documents on me.
I am the primary caretaker for my siblings, my older sister is right after me. As I understand and meet their needs, they trust me to advocate for them and to protect them.
Making this stipulation has made trying to enroll even more stressful than it had been before. Hence the heightened anxiety.
My older sister and my other sibling, who are four years apart, had a dispute yesterday. The younger one did attack our older sister, our sister did not retaliate. It was all verbal except for that attack, however, this partner is claiming there's abuse.
They threatened to take it to CPS as we have an active case open, and despite trying to explain the situation, it changed nothing. They told us this is far from over and they know the system.
We have already talked about wanting to leave because of the first instance with me. Now, we believe we have no choice but to tell CPS about how uncomfortable we are in this environment.
If you can help us get out of this environment, here's some links that can help.
Cash.app
Paypal
I hate having to do this, but I cannot handle this constant pain and anxiety. I already have health issues that I constantly have to maintain, I am scared about the damage this is doing to me. I'm even more scared for my sister because she's having similar health problems our mom has had, and those are fatal.
So please, share or donate if you can. I apologize for having to do this again but I have put it off as long as I could.
#I tried to make this as clear as possible bc the full situation is a lot#It reads to my sister and i that this is revenge towards our family#And that this partner is trying to take our siblings away from us#Which is really alarming bc this person cannot meet their basic needs#They cannot even get them to the dinner table#I am the one who helps with all their basic needs as one is in a wheelchair and the other is close to being in one#This personal already struggles with taking care of their kid and brother who is completely dependent on others#And often causes more stress to those two individuals enough so their brother went to the hospital from the stress#Like this is not a healthy environment for anyone#Being so stressed out to the point of hospitalization is huge#And I think my sister and I are on a similar path#Please anything you can do to help is appreciated#We're grateful for anything you can do to help
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#vent#wow I will never be able to let myself have friends huh#I am unwanted and inherently unwantable#I have it all figured out I just can't DO anything right. why is breaking silence the hardest thing to do#I can't bring myself to make/maintain/deepen friendships bc I'm convinced that I'm unpleasant to be around and unpleasant to be friends with#my company is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy#<- completely unjustified belief. I am kind and friendly and capable of responding appropriately in the majority of social situations#they reach out and I shrink back every time. no matter how much they reach towards me I can't believe that they actually want me around#and ofc the reasonable thing for them to do is stop reaching! when I never reach back! why would they expect a different outcome this time#so I can't blame anyone. I can't sit around waiting for a saintly mindreader who can see that my actions contradict my feelings#I know I just need to reach out. but how could I do that when I'm convinced it'll only hurt them?#my presence makes their day worse. I'm a mangy dog begging for scraps I don't deserve at their table. I am harming them with my presence#how can I beg for their attention and company and time when I know their life would be better without me in it#<- false belief. when I reach out I make them feel wanted and they feel more comfortable reaching out to me when they know I like them.#everyone appreciates being reached out to. I am pleasant to be around. they like being liked by me. my company is a desirable thing#company in general is a desirable thing. my company is better than no company. people like being liked.#logically I know all this to be true. emotionally? they hate me and I deserve it and the more I show I like them the more they'll hate me#sigh. what a banal problem to have. I'll stop being 18 years old one day. I can't wait until I have better things to worry about#replies appreciated. btw. in the interest of asking for what I want instead of expecting ppl to read my mind lmao#narcissus's echoes
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