solar eclipse / april 8 / bday

Never before has this happened so quickly to me while listening to a song:

Lyrics: My father told me that I'm a speck of dust and this world was made for me...

Me: Oh, this songwriter is a Jew!

Lyrics: I'll close my mouth and learn to listen...

Me: Oh, this songwriter is not a Jew.

i'm sorry. TAGGING SASKATCHEWAN CANADA AS KANSAS SOUTHERN GOTHIC AND APPALACHIA????

TAGGING SASKATCHEWAN CANADA AS KANSAS SOUTHERN GOTHIC AND APPALACHIA*

*i misremembered and the one tagged with appalachia&appalachian gothic isn't Explicitly saskatchewan (all of the pictures with location captions are apparently from saskatchewan so i'd be inclined to guess it probably is too, but there's no way to know for sure). so who knows!! i don't know what appalachia looks like! maybe it IS appalachia! in which case why is it also tagged saskatchewan

[Image ids: three cropped screenshots of 'regional gothic' style tumblr picture posts and their tags. The first picture is a truck at an empty intersection with a hazy yellow sky; the second is part of a building mural depicting a nature scene with canada geese captioned 'rural saskatchewan'; the third is of the edge of a town on a foggy day, with old, short buildings fading into the mist, captioned 'uranium city, sk'. Tags common across all three posts are: ethel cain, southern gothic, regional gothic, rural gothic, midwestern gothic, kansas, and midwest. Two of them are tagged with 'gibson girl'. Additionally, the truck picture is tagged with appalachia, appalachian gothic, twin peaks, and hayden anhedonia; the mural picture is tagged with small town usa, small town, small town america, small town canada, great plains, prairies, prairie, and prairiecore; and the foggy town is tagged with 'ghost town, liminal, liminal spaces, and foggy day.

End id.]

I also went back to the blog to see if those posts were still there so I could take better screenshots (they weren't; hooray reporting things for spam) but upon further scrolling I realized that every tagged post. Every. Single. Post. With Tags. all of them. Are tagged with southern gothic and kansas and saskatchewan. THESE ARE NOT THE SAME. WHY ARE YOU USING ALL OF THEM THESE ARE NOT THE SAME

*coughs* anyway. Among all of these, in all their spammy mistagged glory, there is one I would like to give a special shout out to, for in my opinion being the most wildly tagged:

[Image id: another screenshot of a tumblr picture post. This one is a picture of a small motel with a rundown fence in the foreground. A colour filter has been used to make the picture look washed out and fit the regional gothic vibes. This picture has been tagged with: gibson girl, americana, appalachian gothic, midwest gothic, preacher's daughter, regional gothic, rural gothic, southern gothic, hayden anhedonia, ethel cain, nebraska, kansas, motelcore, appalachia, southern aesthetic, saskatchewan, alberta.

end id.]

Take a moment to appreciate it. Bask in its questionable glory. Allow yourself the time to question why?

I think it's the 'alberta' tag that really makes it for me here. The 'nebraska' as well. The latter I assume is from the title of one of Ethel Cain's songs, which would explain... to some degree... how it got there. Why 'alberta' though? Why this picture, out of all of them? Is it actually from Alberta? (It could be; I've seen similar looking things) If it's from Alberta, why is it also tagged 'saskatchewan'? 'kansas'? 'appalachia'? 'southern gothic'? Do not each of these preclude all others? If it's Saskatchewan or Albertan, why is it tagged 'americana'?? Is it for views??? If you want it seen, it's already got the tags! Regional and rural gothic are fine! They'll probably get you a lot more views than tagging something with a Canadian province ever will! I just. I don't understand. why. why have you done this. please stop. i'm begging skfjjsjfjj

in conclusion: tumblr has tagging etiquette and i am begging the young aesthetic bloggers to take a moment to learn it. it will save you so much being reported for spam and having your posts and or possibly your entire blog taken down because of it. And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a blog to go report specifically because of this

I need to do more with Blackwater Depths I think people would love Luca Moon as a character. The way this piece of fiction lives in my mind 50 percent of the time is internet novel posted chapter by chapter and the other half of the time I think wistfully about how it would make a great audio drama

playlist for cowboy times

this playlist is deeply personal with some songs (ex. "Methhead" by Ian Noe) so i apologize is some of these are not what youre looking for

Foster children in Appalachia are three times more likely to be removed from the custody of their familes to the custody criminals than any other place in North America. 

So, here’s the deal. I have thought of three ways to pitch this show and none of them do it justice on their own, so we’re doing all three.

1. Do you like eldritch horror and/or sci-fi audio dramas like TMA, Malevolent, and Old Gods of Appalchia, or Wolf 359 and Station 151? Well, then, I have just the series for you! Follow the intrepid Dr. Marion Straker, marine biologist, on her way down into the Bottomless Pit, a cavern in the ocean floor newly exposed by the melting of the polar ice caps. Can her crew mates be trusted to handle such a delicate mission? Will their state-of-the-art submarine withstand the dangers that lurk in the icy arctic waters? Was capitalism the villain all along? Tune in and find out in this well-written ~20 episode audio drama miniseries!

2. Are you new to podcasts, or sick of struggling through the first season of a several-season narrative? I have plenty of friends who have been in the same boat at the start of their podcast journey, and I’ve got you covered. DOWN is perfect for you if you’re new to the medium, and great for those who just need to devour some good media fast. I finished it in a weekend, but if you have a lot on your plate and value your sleep schedule, it will probably last you a couple of weeks— not so long as to lose your interest, but long enough for you to sit on its fascinating implications.

3. Are you a Dr. Who fan who never quite got over that two-parter where Tennant’s Doctor faces down the literal Devil (“The Impossible Planet” and “The Satan Pit”)? Are you craving more of that maddening mystery— that mind-blowing blend of sci-fi and the supernatural? Oh, boy, have I got just the thing for you.

(Can you tell that I’ve listened to someone go on and on about marketing? Can you tell that I could never make it in that particular field?)

As someone living in Appalachia but not in Appalchia, more on the skirts, I feel sad I don't get to go up in the mountains often

((Screw it, I'm making an Old Gods of Appalchia verse for Will:

Will is a being of old that existed before the arrival of The Inner Dark. He is a trickster deity but his power, skill and renown are nowhere near the level of Jack. If anything, he is a lesser trickster entity known only to his region. (He tries his best.)

As a spiritual entity, he cannot die by mortal means, and magical meals will only delay his recovery. In order to destroy him completely, one needs to destroy the verse that binds him to this world. (What that force is. Well, no one knows.)

While Will is not known for being the OG trickster, he is still known as a menace to society and everyone's annoyance, but he has enough charm and charisma that makes you want to keep him around...until shit hits the fan. He loves fun and causing chaos, and he tends to live mostly for himself and to make himself everyone else's problem.

Some of his exploits include: Swindling people out of money (aka the selling of questionable, supposedly rare and magical items. Every witch worth their salt has called him out on this horse shit, but he never stuck around long enough to listen). This has led to people coming after him with the good old tried and true pitchforks and torches on more than one occasion. Fraud Theft (petty and other) Causing divide (infighting) and sowing discord among members of any given community May or may not have instigated a number of things that led to innocents being arrested or tried as criminals "Accidental" arson And many, many more. Rumour has it that he has an older sibling who has been lost to The Inner Dark, but Will never speaks of him...))

❛ don't he look fine and handsome? ❜ - leo & arthur bc imagine him going out to a bar with her and trying to convince her to be attracted to/hit on other men bc he wants her to stop thinking she’s in love with him (could really be either before or after she told him she does this was just one idea !!!)

IMAGINARY APPALCHIA prompts.

“Ew, that guy? Are you serious?” Leo can barely hear Arthur above the pitch of the crowd. The bar is filled to the brim and occasionally the two of them are jostled by someone walking by. “Why would I do that?” Her face is scrunched. “Why don’t you go flirt with him?”

Truthfully, the guy wasn’t that bad looking. But these days Leo had found everyone that wasn’t Arthur to be repulsive. Nothing interested her the way he did. He might not have accepted her feelings on the matter, but it wasn’t something she could bury, nor was she willing to by some meaningless hookup.

“I need a refill.” She pushes away from them, not bothering to ask if they might need one, too. She’s clearly agitated with his relentless nagging. It takes forever to get a drink, but when she elbows her way back to their spot she notices he’s gone.

Frantic, she searches the crowd, elbowing back through and sloshing her drink over the sides. Until she spots him in front of the guy. At first, she thinks he might be trying to play wingman. Then she notices Arthur’s hand on the small of the man’s back, the proximity – the eye contact: They’re fucking flirting.

Leo feels the boil of rage and jealousy in her stomach. She had no right to  – Arthur wasn’t hers. Arthur did not want her. But the hurt is there, and she downs her drink; circles back for another. And her drunken brain whispers fuck this and fuck him.

It’s not hard for her to find someone to occupy her time with. And she makes sure it happens directly in Arthur’s line of sight. She picks someone tall and a little older than her. He’s blonde, with his hair styled in waves atop his head. He’s handsome, she thinks. And he will do.

She makes sure to stand too close; hair gathered and swept over one shoulder, exposing her neck. She smiles, widens her eyes. Her hand occasionally presses to his chest when he says something funny. And she knows deep down she is just being petty. But she can’t help it: and isn’t that what Arthur told her to do, anyway? The cherry on top is when he invites her to smoke and she obliges, trailing outside behind him like a lovesick girl.

Great Smokies

stop making me see the ‘not deer’ post about appalachia im telling you thats just how deer are 

Complacency

“What’s your worst fear?” I read the question through my IG message and knew my answer immediately. I typed, “complacency.” “Hmmm,” he said, “what’s your definition of complacency?” I knew we were talking about emotional fears in relationships so I simply said that complacency is not comfort. Complacency in a relationship is when apathy sneaks in and you begin to take the other person for granted. It’s a place where love and empathy can no longer exist. It is also something I am far too familiar with from my own previous relationships. I am certain it was a final the nail in their coffins. Complacency is not love. 

A friend of mine, a poet, wrote “Empathy makes Apathy Impossible.” Empathy is love. It is love for another living organism and it is a connection we can always find if we look deep enough, past our own ego, no matter the relationship. Thinking back on my previous relationships I wrote: “I feel that if we are always choosing to love unconditionally, complacency will never be an issue because we are choosing love. There is no room for apathy where there is love and we always have a choice to act and respond in love. I will always choose love and sometimes walking away is the most kind and loving thing we can do for ourselves and others.” 

These thoughts poured into my stitches yesterday as I spent the day in bed, plagued by a Lupus flare. In the few times over the last year I have found myself incapacitated by my destructive immune system, I have realized that I can choose to knit, or cry. If I knit, I am able to fall into the clicking rhythm of the needles and the counting of rows and rounds. I feel the pure, soft, yet coarse fibers on my fingertips and I can smell the musky scent of the animal from which it was shorn. In the mist of the bodily destruction, I can find peace and satisfaction in a balance of creating. 

I am working on a top down, raglan sleeve pullover by Dani Sunshine. It’s called Ink & Brass and you can find it for sale on Ravelry. I am a few rounds from separating the sleeve from the body, but this is knit from alpaca scrap / stash yarn.

Exploring the Ghost Town of Basin Creek, North Carolina.

Slightest Impressions

At night, I wonder if the old churches come alive.

If their congregations of yesteryear fill the benches, if light shines through and lifts the dust from the stained glass windows.

I think about that young man, buried on the hill, who lived where I have lived, who died in some distant jungle.

All the history that has passed through the ground and the stories I will never know, but only guess at.

Sometimes, driving I catch a flicker of light in the old fallen down houses, and the fields gone fallow show me harvests long past with shadowy oceans of wheat, and undulating, shivering corn.

All the life that has passed through and made only the slightest impressions.

Like the children spread out on the hill, and I wonder, was it an accident? Was it a sickness? Did they look at the same fields, and feel the same things?

At night, I wonder, who comes alive.

08/12/18 - dead mall #2