real eaters to the front 🫡

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aot characters as text posts

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decided to make another one since y’all loved the first one sm hehe | part 1 here

Why was he lay down in such a fruity way? 😭😭😭

oi oi oi

I usually don’t post my aot shitposts here but I like this one a lot

And that's how it works,

That's how you get the girl.

mikasa doing the orange peel theory with jean but with a twist:

mikasa: i kinda want an orange but i don’t want to peel it

jean, clueless as ever: oh? then what’re you going to do?

bird eren, pissed off that jeans clueless ass isn’t getting the hint: * flies through window and starts aggressively pecking jeans head*

obscure things that would send every aot character into shock because realistically they're from like the early 1900s

a/n: this is supposed to be lighthearted and funny to lighten the mood 👍 NO MORE MOPING AROUND BABES. WE HAVE SMUT TO READ AND WRITE 🫵

- peanuts

- one sip of a monster/redbull

- 5g

- filtered water

- literally any genre of music that's not classical

- the idea of NASA

- pop rocks

- smelling a sharpie

- boxed mac and cheese

- the old computer start-up noises

- medium rare steak

- bath and body works perfume

- dyeing eggs for easter

back with the jean posts for you guys

Old Reiner shitpost

connie frequently catches cramps when y’all fuck because he wants to try crazy ass positions and his legs be locking up 😭

LMFAODJDHD Constance Cornelius Devon Springer is catching all the strays, I guess. But I could most certainly see this happening. 😭 (p.s., y’all do not want to know the sound that came out of me when I read this because I was hollering.)

so say what you want about your man connie but you could never say that the sex was boring. The two of you had been together for a while and one thing he strived to do was keep it fun in the bedroom. He would always try new positions, bring toys and even experimented with food once. Which he had eaten most of before getting back but that was neither here nor there. Either way, you guys had a lot of good times and he was pretty good. However, it didn’t always work out in his favor! See, Connie would scroll Twitter for ‘inspo’, as one would in the wee hours of the night and he’d see some wild ass video with this dude twisting his girl up like a pretzel or standing up in it like he trying to put her in a leg lock. Just pure chaos! But he decides to try it out on you! “C’mon, bae. Let’s try this new position, it look fun..I ain’t gone hurt you, promise.” And you trust your baby so you agree! Besides, what’s wrong with stepping out of the box every once in a while. So y’all start out, going strong….he’s fucking you real good, doing his thing. You’re scratching at his back, moaning his name…oh his head is gassed UP. That’s when he decides to implement one of his new..special attacks. Twisting around, he lifts you up..starts slamming you down, bends his legs all crazy like he’s playing a game of fucking twister. It’s getting very silly. That’s when his face (and other things) clam up! You’re thinking to yourself ‘I know this shit got some grip in it but ain’t no way he nutting this quick!’ No! Buddy’s legs have locked up like the engine to an old truck. His face turning red and he starts yelling. “I’m alright, I’m alright! Just need a minute..” playing it off as smooth as he can! But truth is, he is not doing well at all and he probably needs a Gatorade or some shit. All this because he wants to do 450 frog splashes in the pussy and reenact some nonsense from people who are professionals and probably high on Perc 30’s when they’re doing it. It was fun though!

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𝐚𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬

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lover edition

₊˚⊹ ᰔ eren

₊˚⊹ ᰔ ymir & historia

Happy Attack on Titan finale day everyone, regardless of opinions on the ending it's been quite a journey (for some of you a decade!) And what better way to celebrate than a shitpost?

Levi's harem

Fuck it, aot x mystery flesh pit national park

Something was brought to my attention