#anyways this is also when its so nice to see/read people tags on reblogs
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FRIENDS!? Chapter 7
🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳
Series ML
Pairing: poly!ateez × f!reader (An ATEEZ Office AU)
Genre: Mature, Angst, Yandere, SMUT
Warning: none (but mention of psychiatrist)
W.C: 3.3k
For my beloved: @oreharuuu
Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity
[Reblogs and Reviews are always appreciated. Thank you for reading and have a nice day ahead. Please always take care of yourself everyone.]
Hello, Can we be friends please?
Laughter filling the cabin and some employees out of curiosity are peeking a bit before passing through the place. Well, it seems that someone or you might can say some people are having fun after waking up this morning. And, honestly the environment seems to be a peaceful and fun to be around as it's all about the friends catching up with their childhood stories.
"Woah! I didn't expect you to be this funny. You appear to be too intimidating sometimes but you are a goofy person." You state between your laughter.
The said man laughs even louder and the other one standing beside him hit him at the back of the head with a file but eventually he starts laughing too.
"Well, you don't know a lot of things about him. When he used to hang out with you alone and after that he tends to forget his way back to the apartment and had to call one of us."
"Jongho, come on. Don't say such things like this way. Next time, Mingi won't hang out with us again. We were all teenagers back then and we might have done a lot of mistakes. Those mistakes are what remain as some good memories with us." You give a healing smile towards the both of them.
Jongho murmurs under his breath but you still heard it. Mingi heard it too so he casts a glance towards him.
'Not everything is a good memory.'
But why did he say that?
"Anyways I am always hanging out with Jongho these days and It's really nice that you tag along with us today. So, it's better for me." You said.
Mingi leans forward while sitting on the chair and watching you how you are arranging some papers, must be Hongjoong's. After your joining, that man calls you for every little work, some are really very unnecessary and you know all of these are just for him to spend some time with you. He just can't say it directly to you.
"Better for you what?" Mingi asks and Jongho nods to his question.
"Um yeah like, so tell me how did you guys meet me for the first time? Jongho just tells me about our funny childhood stories and about my school days but how did we become friends."
You look down to your tablet to mark some paper-works as done and you failed to notice how both of them exchanged glances between them. The silence from them makes you look up and you furrow your brows.
"Is there something wrong?"
Mingi awkwardly laughs at your question before speaking, "Haha. No nothing is wrong. We are just thinking if you want to go with us to this nearby cafe this weekend."
"Yeah sure! But hey...you didn't answer my question yet."
"It's nothing that important-"
You cut off Jongho's sentence, "Is it really nothing important? Or you are just trying to hide it from me because it might can reveal some hidden lies."
Jongho visibly gulps and Mingi stares between you both before clearing his throat.
You laugh to see their scared faces but deep down you are curious to why they reacted like that.
"Jongho, you can tell her how you met, its okay to tell her about that, I suppose." Mingi said each word with space in between as if he is tasting the words before saying it, so that something doesn't slip off his tongue.
Atleast for now.
The said person stared at Mingi for a while before he speaks up, "Ah yeah that...we were in the same school. We both are of same age."
"Really? Then why were we not in touch during the high-school and also why didn't Beomgyu told me anything about you. We would have been such great friends."
Mingi said silently, "I wonder too why he didn't tell you."
"Y/n...you studied at a different high-school not where we used to go together. I really didn't want you to change the school but I don't know what happened back then but you were totally gone. As if you disappeared." Jongho has a pain expression.
What?
"What are you even saying? I was not in that school before...but...but..." you can't even continue as you are having so many thoughts altogether.
Jongho has a frown on his face because of your sudden lost expression. Mingi signalled him to check on you and when the latter places his hand on your shoulder, you flinch to the effect. Blinking your eyes, you lick your lips before sending a small smile to their way and brush back your hairs.
"What happened Y/n?" Mingi asks in a low tone.
You just shake your head but still urge them to continue with what they were saying earlier.
Jongho clears his voice and continued, "So...we used to meet everyday at the school and we became friends. We used to hangout at the rooftop and no one dared to mess with you because I was your best-friend. We had...great times. After school, we used to wait by the side of the play-ground for Wooyoung."
A smile plastered on your face mimicking Jongho's gummy smile. You really had some great times which are some wonderful memories but somewhere in your mind a strange feeling is irking as if all these rainbows are hiding some dark secrets. So, the guy in your dreams at the rooftop was Jongho and you are glad that all those memories are related to them. Many things are getting clear and many new explanations are yet to be answered.
"That's not fair that we are of same age but you are a young and rich CEO and me here just an intern. Anyways, What about you Mingi?" They laugh before Mingi spoke up.
He is quick to reply you and it did surprise you a bit as he was the hesitant one a few moments before, "oh we. You met me when one day Jongho brought you to our hideout."
"Hideout?"
"Ah yeah...it was just a place where we used to hangout together...... and we shouldn't have." He whispered the last part.
He laughs at your confused face and continued, "I used to go to different school with Yunho, San and Wooyoung. I was your fourth friend. When we first met, you were so scared of me because you saw me fighting with a boy from my school but gradually everything became normal between us."
"Then who are my second and third friends?" you raise your brows.
Jongho raises his one hand, "I am the second."
"And third? Also, if Yunho was also there then how come we met?"
"That's for you to find out." Both of them said at the same time. "And about him, you should ask him on your own...He will be happy."
"I have so many things to find out already." You whispered under your breath, inaudible to them.
"I don't know actually what does he even want from me. I don't see him other than picking on me."
They laugh at your annoyed expression on hearing his name.
.
.
.
The conversation continued with next one hour of you three sharing the childhood stories. Mostly, them because you really don't have anything particular to share with them. You don't have any memories of the past that they are talking about because it feels like you have memories which feels like to be very different from them.
If you remember every part of your past which you knew back all these years then why all the things that they are telling you seems so far from reality.
This was your thought one week before. After the meeting with the boys at the hotel, last week every day you have sneaked out with some excuses. You have gone to a doctor to discuss about your weird dreams and memory loss. After searching online, you have found that Psychiatrist would be the best one to approach. So, you did and the things you heard was not expected.
Your memories.
Those dreams are your memories which have been erased temporarily. Maybe, those memories have some triggering or disturbing parts which were needed to be removed. She had prescribed you some medicines if you want to regain back them. You were afraid at first but eventually you have made up your mind to know what actually did happen to you.
Apart from all these, you have some questions to ask Beomgyu. Today again, you spent time with Jongho and Mingi, both have left you in your cabin earlier and now you are just walking around the floors to find if any of the CEOs needs you but no one is in sight so you are just trying to get to know some people in the office. Of course, you are not that social one but there is not harm in trying.
You dial Beomgyu's number before going back inside from the terrace.
"Hey, baby. How are you? Did any of them scare you again?"
"Yah shut up. Don't baby me. Why were you not picking up my calls past few days?" you complained and heard some shuffling sounds from the other side, maybe he was sleeping or playing games.
"I'm sorry...it was just that I was busy with my dad's business and stuff...but really how are you?" He asks you very slowly.
"I'm fine, Gyu. What about you? Are you tired? Don't take stress please. I'm worried for you as you are all alone now and I'm not there to comfort you."
He chuckles, "Hm...I will...but why do I have so many missed calls from you?"
"Because you didn't pick up my calls."
"Hey....But why did you call? Are you in trouble? Do I need to come over? Y/n come on tell me fast." You can hear the panic in his voice.
"no no its nothing like that. Calm down. Actually, I wanted to ask you something." You are just walking in slow steps and touching the plants decorated in a line to the side.
"About what?"
"Do you know about me before highschool? Like do you know anything?"
The other line is silent as if no one is on the other side but then you heard cough and sniffs.
"Gyu..."
"No. I don't know. Why?"
"You said I studied in the school since the beginning but earlier I found out that I actually went to a different high school, other than the one I studied before."
"Oh then I must have mistaken to understand that you were there for a long time but you told me you studied there. How come I would have known? I was just...a transfer student."
"But Gyu-"
"what are you doing here?"
As soon as the person behind you spoke up, you heard Beomgyu cuts the call but you are still pressing the phone to your ears. You are doing your best to ignore three persons after that meeting at the hotel but why is he here?
Like of course he can be anywhere but why now? You gulp and thinking how to excuse yourself to run away but he is already behind you.
His soft hands take a hold of your shoulders and turns you around. You are avoiding his gaze but he grips your chin to make you look at him. Your scared eyes locked with his brown orbs. You thought to find the scary eyes looking back at you but these are nowhere like that. These eyes look hurt. They are soft and tired.
"Yunho..."
"You shouldn't be here all alone when you are scared of heights."
His words are dipped in worry and you are wondering why he is talking with you like that after you have ignored him for one week. Yes Yunho is one of those three you are ignoring and the rest two are San and Hongjoong.
Well of course, these three are very mysterious because first of all their actions are always opposite to their words and then you really don't sometimes understand what they are trying to say. As if they are saying something to you with keeping some words to themselves.
"It's okay. I was just talking to someone." You look down to your phone.
"To Beomgyu."And here he goes again. Even if he is correct this time but he always have to annoy you with your friend’s name . "And this distraction would have caused something worse."
You fight the urge to roll your eyes. You again look up to him, "are you...worried?"
"Of course not."
"Okay. So do you need something?" You cast a glance to his hands still placed over your shoulder.
"Seonghwa was searching for you."
"WHAT?"
His eyes went wide with worry but quickly he regains his composure and fiddles with the sleeves of his shirt. Why are you missing the touch?
He scoffs, "why what happened?"
"No-nothing."
"Where is he?" You tug your hairs behind the ear and looked at the time.
"In his cabin, downstair one."
You nod softly and excused yourself. But before you could step away from him, he holds your wrist to pull you towards him. You stumble a bit and feel annoyed.
"If...if someone close to you did something wrong in the past and then they have changed and want to be good to you. Will you forgive them?"
He asked you in a broken and hurt voice as if he is holding back his tears and trying to look cool.
This is the first time in so many months, you have seen him in such a soft way. You are scared of him and the way he showed so much affection last time in that meeting makes you to avoid him but somewhere you feel like there is something more. Something very important that you are missing out.
Is he a very important person in your life?
You look down to the grip and back to his eyes. His eyes flicker between your soft orbs and lips.
"If they can prove me that they have changed then I will try to accept it but I still would want to know that what was the reason they hurt me in the first place because as far as I know I haven't done wrong to anyone."
He waits in silence and loosens his hold and you walk away from him. You don’t know why he asked you such a thing but he was sad and it was very much visible. He stares at your retreating figure and once you are out of sight. A tear slides down his eyes which reflects the light of the setting sun.
"I was worried for you." He watched the sun slowly hiding behind the buildings just like the way he is hiding from the things that once already happened and no matter how much he tries those can't be erased ever.
"Not all memories are sweet to remember."
"But we can change the future even if the past is not in our hands."
Yunho looked back on hearing the voice to find Hongjoong in an all denim outfit walking towards him.
"Why are you everywhere?"
Both of them chuckle and the older one stands near the railing, leaning to watch the same scene as him.
" I have to be because I have started all these and I have to keep a watch that nothing goes wrong.Again."
"Again." Yunho sadly chuckles and ruffles his hair. "Do you think we are good people?"
"Of course not. But we can be. Atleast for her." Hongjoong casts a glance towards the younger, "I don't want to lose her again."
"I hope so."
.
.
.
You are mumbling so many things in your way towards Seonghwa's cabin. You are cursing and swearing under your breath that the first you had to meet Yunho whom you thought to avoid longer but unfortunately still you had to face him but it was okay somehow and now Seonghwa, who is not in your list to avoid but you have a very weird thought about him.
The kiss.
No you don’t want to kiss him. It’s just that Wooyoung told you that you have had two kisses with two people before him and he told you to find it on your own. But who are the ones? Who are these two? All the seven are in suspicion list but in the top is Seonghwa, Yeosang, maybe Hongjoong or Yunho. Definitely not San.
You bump into someone when you are lost in your thoughts.
“I’m so sorry….Star?”
“Hey…that’s fine…I was wondering where were you as usually I find you in your cabin but it was empty and what were you thinking?”
Her sweet smile makes all your worries away and you pinch her cheeks. The smile on both of your faces widens.
“Why are you so happy today?” She asks you, wiggling her brows.
“I was not happy earlier, maybe I was but I think many things are getting clear and soon I will get back my old friends.” You cheer.
“Are you sure?”
“Huh?”
“I mean are you sure they are telling you everything honestly and they are not hiding something.” Star asks you in whisper so that no one knows what you guys are talking about. She pulls you to the side. “You are smart but sometimes very naive when it comes to your friends. You trust your friends a lot. Don’t get close to strangers.”
“You are also a stranger.”
“I-“
“Miss Y/n, I think you came to this floor for my cabin and not to gossip with your friend.” To both of your side, in a distance there standing Seonghwa in all black tshirt and pant, leaning against the glass doorframe and glaring at Star.
She hasn’t notice the glare but looking down at her phone typing out something and with a smile she glances back at you and Seonghwa and excuses herself.
Waving at her, you turn towards him to follow to his cabin.
He needs some help in the paperwork’s for the upcoming event and you know your whole evening is going to be a stressed one.
Taking a seat across from him at the huge round table, you keep staring at him when he is busy arranging some documents. You lick your lips and fiddle with your fingers.
“Is it interesting to stare at me?”
His sudden voice breaks your trance and blinking your eyes you look away.
“No.”
“Look at me.” He commands.
You turn your head but your gaze fall on his lips. Have you kissed them? Please, he is not the one. You are not wishing it to be others but you are hoping that you have kissed no one and Wooyoung is just lying.
He follows your gaze and the corner of his lips tug up.
“Do you want me to kiss you again?”
Your wide eyes stare back at him and his smirk widens.
Again?
He had your first kiss or the second one?
.
.
.
“She went to the doctor last week.”
The one on the other line hummed in reply.
“And you are still chill about it?” The person said in annoyance.
“So what should I do? She is alive and it’s obvious that eventually all those things will be remembered by her. Soon or later it has to be revealed.”
“You know she is going to remember everything one by one and it’s really not good. She will freak out and might can do anything.”
“It’s okay she won’t be doing anything because the people whom she is trusting the most are the evils.”
“And you think we are evils. Are we not good?”
“You are asking this again. Of course we are not. Anyways, am going to hang up. I want to sleep.”
Cutting the call. The person stared at the screen and thought about the earlier conversation that how the other one was very chill with the whole situation.
“It would have been better if you had died that day, Y/n.”
NEXT
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don't turn out the lights (kiss yourself goodnight)
summary:
“Hi,” Martyn continues to grin, even as it turns awkward and even guiltier. “I'm coming over. Can I come over?” Martyn pauses on the bridge then, as though just realising his presence might be unwanted after ditching him all morning.
“I don't know if I should let you,” he says. It’s not an answer either way.
(ao3 link)
(7,119 words)
[hi! talking in bold so this catches your eyes ooOOooo anyway! this is the FINAL PART of this series! it's done! this is the end! meaning, everyone dies in this fic. there's your warning! there's gonna be death, injury, blood, etc. all the fun stuff! so just keep that in mind when you read it. also! it'd be really nice if you could reblog this because it took me a long time and i put a buncha effort into it! comments in the tags are even cuter- they let me know you liked it! i write for fun but i post because i want other people to also enjoy what i make, letting me know that you did quite literally makes my day.
anyway! hope u enjoy! <33]
The Isles is almost eerily quiet.
It is expected. The losses they had experienced only a day prior are enough to stun even the loudest of people into silence. It seems their world is only mirroring their mourning, not even birds singing to greet the dawn. Instead, it leaves everyone to prepare for their day, silence permeating the air around them. Even the sun appears muted, watery, as it tiredly heaves itself over the edge of the water, already beginning to chase away the deep purples of night.
He doubts any of them will be around to see another miserable sunrise such as this one.
Scott runs a cloth over the dull edge of his sword, wiping the dried blood away as best as he can manage with only a scrap of damp fabric. It’s already stained red, beyond any kind of repair. The dried blood remains stubborn, clinging to his blade as the last few echoes of others’ lives.
It flakes away as he scrapes against it with a single, sharp nail. The dried blood of friend and foe alike clumps together as it gathers beneath his nail, forcing him to stop his task and pick it out once he can no longer stand the feeling of it. He flicks it to the ground beneath him, hoping the flecks of red will become lost amongst the yellowing grass he sits upon. He still finds his eyes picking it out, like berries nestled amongst the dry stalks of grass that are determined to catch his eyes whenever he glances over.
He pauses at the sound of creaking floorboards above him, a few grains of sand pattering down onto his head. He cocks his head to the side and listens a little more intently as more creaking follows. Martyn had still been sleeping when he got up, curled comfortably in their shared bed. Scott had been tempted to stay and enjoy the peace a little longer, but his own mind was restless.
He hadn’t wanted to disturb the last few peaceful moments Martyn would probably get before this is all over, rising and attending to small tasks that didn’t really need to be done; tasks that were there to busy the hands rather than be productive. He doesn’t have that sort of time to waste, still target number one, certainly, his clock ticking down from higher numbers than everyone else, but his time is as limited as the rest of them.
His sword had been cleaned and sharpened. The blade, previously coated in dried blood so thick you could barely see its shimmer now gleams in the rapidly strengthening sunlight.
The purple hue of the skyline has been almost completely wiped away, leaving a pink sky in its wake. The light of it dyes the ocean a deep red, churning against the edges of their island as though it can hardly wait to devour it all once they're gone.
He continues to listen as footsteps echo overhead, uninterested in continuing to prepare for murdering his friends, waiting for Martyn to poke his head through the doorway and begin chattering away. He’s always more talkative in the morning, as though he has to make up for not speaking all night.
He looks over at the sound of a quiet splash, sitting up and sword forgotten as he stands a moment later. He pokes his head out of their storage room, watching as Martyn swims away from their island and towards the mainland. He dips beneath the waves a few times, swimming quickly.
Scott lingers in the doorway, watching as Martyn emerges onto the sandy shoreline, not even bothering to rid himself of the water he’d collected on his trip over as he usually would. Instead, he looks around, searching for…something. Scott isn’t certain what it is that he’s searching for – they hadn’t even had a conversation yet that morning to go over what should be done, who to avoid, who to target – and apparently not find it as he trudges into the treeline, quickly disappearing into the murky darkness that seems to cling to any dark oak forest, still soaking wet from his short swim.
Scott withdraws into their storage room, confused and more than a little hurt. His mind races a mile a minute, barely giving him a moment to process anything before he’s thinking of another potential explanation. Did they have a conversation last night that indicated Martyn was going to do something like this? Did Martyn assume he had already left and gone searching for him?
Only, Martyn had swum over there like a man possessed, like he would die if he didn’t reach the shoreline as quickly as he did. And yet – and yet – the moment he reached his destination he had looked around, as though uncertain of where to go.
Scott likes to think that he can read Martyn quite well, after the multiple times they’ve gone through these games together, and also the time they’ve spent together on this very island. He likes to think he can read Martyn well. And the way Martyn had looked around, on that shoreline, had not been with the intent of finding something lost, it had been done with the confusion of someone that had walked into a room and forgotten what they were going to do.
But, there’s no point in catching up with him yet. No reason to dive after him and catch up; see if he can shake any answers loose from the man. Not when he still has arrows to make and a bow to restring.
They can talk later. It’s fine. It’ll be fine.
=== === ===
“Now, I'm not a professional,” he tells Cleo, hopping down a few more blocks and squeezing into the gap he’d left for himself. There’s no redstone involved in this, only the tiny guide in the back of his head that’s jumping between steps as he attempts to remember how to do this, struggling to reconcile the new information he had with the idea that he’d already gotten it right.
He’d done it wrong last time, his hands still stinging from the hot blast that had gotten him before he managed to shove his shield in front of himself, letting that take the brunt of the explosion rather than absorbing it with his face.
“Never said you were,” he feels a shadow fall over him as Cleo leans down to peer at what he’s doing. “Reckon you're gonna blow the both of us up again?”
“I wouldn’t stand so close,” he chuckles, feeling rather than seeing as Cleo steps back. He slowly, carefully, places another bundle of TNT into the minecart, feeling the thing rattle with the weight of how much TNT he’s shoved into it. The sculk clings to his hands as he sets it down onto the block, gripping onto him as he attempts to pull away, unwilling to release him.
He continues pulling his hands back until the sculk accepts its loss, releasing his fingers and withdrawing back to the dirt block he’d provided for it. He watches as it curls itself into the dirt block, then simply engulfs it. He has no better words to describe the way it simply spreads over the block, too fast for him to even track with his eyes, until the entire patch is made of sculk.
He withdraws even more carefully, slowly easing himself out of the hole. He’s aware of the way the dirt clings around his shoulders. One wrong move could set off the trap he’s just spent the better part of ten minutes setting up, and he’d probably be blown to bits alongside it.
Cleo waits until he’s completely free of the hole before continuing to speak. “Where’s your other half today? Didn’t think you came as a single package anymore.”
“Very funny,” he forces a laugh as he turns to glare at them. “I don't know,” he answers. Not at all bitterly. “He ran off this morning before I could even get a chance to speak with him, went off to do…something.”
He sees Cleo frown, eyebrows creasing together. “And you haven’t tried to find him?”
“He needs something, then he’ll find me.” He dismisses Cleo’s worries easily – he’s been dismissing his own all morning, ignoring them in order to actually get anything done. Dismissing Cleo’s probing questions and slightly worried glances is far easier. “He’s been acting all funny recently anyway. If he’s gone off to sort himself out, then that’s fine.”
“Wait, Scott,” Cleo moves around him, pressing their hands down onto the small tunnel entrance and blocking him from poking around in there a little more. He leans back on his heels, knees digging into the ground as he glares up at her. “That’s not at all like Martyn. He sticks around other people as best as he can, even if it means bouncing between several groups. You're telling me he’s disappeared and you're not even worried?”
“Of course I'm worried, Cleo.” He huffs out a breath, resisting for only a moment before he raises his hands to his face, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. It relieves a little of his stress, and also means he doesn’t have to look them in the eye anymore. “But there’s nothing I can do about it, so I just have to wait and sit tight and hope he shows up.”
“You said he was acting weird,” Cleo asks, after the silence has hung between them for a moment. “Weird…how?”
“I don't know,” he sighs, dropping his hands. Cleo stares at him. “Ugh, I guess, like, spacing out? He was acting really weird after, uh, yesterday and the whole,” he waves a hand, “canary business. But I thought that was just the shock of all that, and then all the stuff after that. I didn’t even speak to him this morning, but there was this weird air around him. It was really fucking strange, Cleo, and I don't even know what it means!”
“Yeah, alright, alright,” Cleo hesitates for a moment, before patting him on the shoulder. “I think that’s just how he gets at this point. I think he was like this last time? I’d have to repeat myself several times for literally anything to get through to him.”
“I keep forgetting you were partnered with him last time,” he huffs out a laugh. “So he just gets like this every time? Why doesn’t anyone say anything?” He pauses. “Have you said anything?”
“To Martyn? No.” Cleo glances over at a shout from the Clock Tower, then back at him. “To anyone else? …Also no. I didn’t think it was my place to pry or ask around, and I guess that’s the common sentiment. Maybe he’s done it every single time. Maybe he only started doing it last time. Who knows? Maybe he's just gone insane.”
“Pretty sure that’s Joel you're thinking of,” he jokes, and then regrets when it opens up a pit in his stomach.
“Maybe go find him,” Cleo says. They both ignore the slightly heavier air around both of them, the mention of Joel souring their moods rather quickly.
“Yeah,” he brushes the dirt from his hands. “Yeah, I will.” He stands, eyeing the inconspicuous path ahead of them. “Thanks, Cleo.”
“No problem. Hope you find him.”
So do I, Scott doesn’t say. Hope you're still kicking around when I’ve found him, he keeps to himself too. He knows the Clockers aren’t doing well for time, all of their clocks far lower than his own, even after donating some of his time to Scar earlier.
He can feel Cleo watching him. Maybe they're giving him some of their own well wishes.
=== === ===
Going onto Skynet is never his favourite thing. But he’s been poking around on the ground for long enough that he’s rather certain Martyn isn’t hanging around there. Unless he’s dug himself into a hole underground as it currently hiding there until his clock runs out, he’s not on ground-level.
Meaning, into the skies he goes. The ladder is wonky and the rungs are thin enough that they threaten to snap under every step he takes upwards.
He can feel his hands growing sweaty the higher he ascends, nervousness making him glance down and come to terms with just how high he was in the air. With nothing to support him but a quickly and shoddily built ladder to nowhere.
He hauls himself up onto the main chunk of Skynet, grateful for the ground beneath his feet; solid despite being a thousand feet in the air. A drop from here would definitely kill him. A real risk, he realises, when an arrow thunks into the ground at his feet.
He glances over in the direction where it came from, dropping into a crouch. He’s not certain whether that shot was a mistake or a warning. It could have been fully intended to send him stumbling backwards and over the edge. But another arrow doesn’t follow, leaving him staring across the gap between their bridges, the group of three staring back at him.
…Three?
He can just barely see Etho crouched behind the makeshift wall he’s thrown up, the very tips of fuzzy white ears peeking over the edge of the dirt barricade, and Tango beside him is distinctive with his hair aflame. Meaning, no, his eyes are not deceiving him; Martyn really is crouched over with the other two, watching as they shoot at him.
He straightens up, almost planting his hands on his hips and yelling across the gap then and there. For Martyn to just ditch him earlier, and then for Scott to find him with people that have been relentlessly hunting him? Unacceptable. He only holds his tongue because shouting across such a wide gap is embarrassing, and not at all conducive to a proper conversation.
He stares across the gap a little longer, before holding a hand up in the universal gesture for wait.
He then takes a very brave step away from the main landing pad at the top of the ladder, the bridge narrowing even further and leaving him running quickly across the thin branches of Skynet. He keeps his shield held loosely at his side, and can only pray that Etho and Tango – or, gods forbid, Martyn – decide to get in an easy kill and shoot him.
He gets onto the same bridge as them before they start shooting at him, close enough for Scott to start talking to Martyn, even if it means he has to yell to be heard.
“Etho!” He jerks to the side as an arrow skims past his face, close enough that he can hear it whistle as it passes him. “No need!”
He hears Etho chuckling easily enough, even hunkered down behind his own makeshift shelter, only daring to peek over the edge once a moment has passed and his heart no longer threatens to leap from his chest. Martyn, Etho and Tango all peek back at him, lined up near perfectly. Scott might be tempted to take a photo if he wasn’t so irritated.
Another arrow shoots past his face and he scowls, pulling his own bow out and firing right back at them. He sees Tango jump in place and duck down as the arrow goes right over his head, far too high to actually hit anyone.
Several arrows embed themselves in the front of his small defence within a few minutes, making it easy to reach over and collect them up, adding them to his own quiver. “I've got arrows for days!” he calls over to them, grinning and urging them to continue shooting at him.
He notches another arrow, back pressed against his barricade before popping back up again, aiming and ready to fire.
Martyn visibly startles when he reappears, halfway across the bridge connecting them. He almost falls, Scott thinks, teetering dangerously on the edge as he readjusts his balance, shield held cautiously but not protectively in front of himself.
“Martyn,” he warns, not releasing his arrow but not dropping the bow either. He keeps it carefully trained on Martyn’s face, even as Etho and Tango continue to watch the two of them curiously. Martyn glances upwards from where he’d been watching his feet, smiling guiltily. Good.
“Hi,” Martyn continues to grin, even as it turns awkward and even guiltier. “I'm coming over. Can I come over?” Martyn pauses on the bridge then, as though just realising his presence might be unwanted after ditching him all morning.
“I don't know if I should let you,” he says. It’s not an answer either way. Something that Martyn seems to realise too, as he doesn’t keep moving forward, remaining rooted in place on the stupidly thin bridges that TIES built on a whim and everyone else decided to use. “Why are you with them?” He jerks his bow towards Etho and Tango, taking it off Martyn for a single second.
A single second which is, apparently, long enough for Martyn to run across the rest of the space and drop down beside him, both of them huddled far too close behind this too-small barricade. His knee knocks against Martyn’s, their legs pressing together when he lets them. He’s twisted awkwardly to continue aiming the bow at Etho and Tango, reluctant to take his eye off of them even if Martyn demands his attention with pleading eyes.
“Because I've not seen you yet today,” Martyn’s hand is warm on his arm. Near burning at the point of contact as he pulls at him, urging him to lower his bow. He holds the string of his bow tense for only a moment longer before heaving a great sigh and loosening it gradually, allowing the arrow to fall free from where it had been notched and into his open palm. Martyn continues, seeing him giving in, “I woke up and there was no-one here. There, wherever,” Martyn shrugs. “And then I just…” he trails off, eyes sliding to the side.
The hand on his arm slackens a little, turning from a comforting grip to a weight on his arm. The point of contact no longer burns, his skin warming up and adjusting to the sudden heat of another person.
“And then you just…?” Scott prompts, frowning when Martyn doesn’t give him a response. He’s still watching something off to the side, but when Scott turns to look where he is, there’s nothing there. No person trying to kill them or mysterious floating entity that would cause the kind of look Martyn currently has in his eyes.
“Hey,” he waves a hand in front of Martyn’s face, frowning when that continues to get no response from him. He rests his hand on Martyn’s cheek, growing even more concerned when that fails to get a reaction from him, sliding his thumb along Martyn’s cheekbone. His hand slips lower to cradle Martyn’s face, bringing his other hand to pat him on the cheek, like trying to wake someone up.
Martyn blinks, eyes refocusing, and then jolts. Scott holds onto him, keeping him in place as he regains his bearings from…whatever the hell just happened.
“When’d you get so close?” Martyn asks, clearly going for joking and missing it by miles. He lands somewhere around confused and worried instead, which only concerns Scott more.
Scott pauses for a moment, considering his next step. “Aw,” he tilts his head to the side, thumb still brushing against Martyn’s cheek affectionately. “Don't tell me you got so caught up in seeing me that you forgot to pay attention?”
Martyn laughs, leaning in a little closer, close enough that their noses are just shy of touching. His eyes are completely focused now, not drifting over Scott’s shoulder to look at something only Martyn can see. It eases something in his chest, something he hadn’t realised was so tight until it loosened all of a sudden.
“Well, it really is quite easy to get lost in your eyes. The depths of them are like an unexplored ocean-”
He shoves Martyn away from him with a laugh. “Don't you start with that,” he warns, mock angry as he wags his finger at Martyn. “That’s a terrible pick-up line, and one that doesn’t even work right now! My eyes are as red as they can be, so don't be silly.”
“Then your eyes are like the ocean in the morning,” Martyn counters. “Did you not see how red it was this morning? Like the sunrise itself had spilled into the waters.”
“How romantic of you.” He doesn’t mention how this morning was the only time the waters were dyed such a colour by the rising sun. Martyn wouldn’t know that, as a late riser, but Scott has watched those waters shimmer beneath the sunrise every morning since they were dumped here.
“Get a room!” Etho very bravely yells over at them, still hiding behind his barricade. “We wanna get past you!”
“Run on past then!” Scott yells back. “What’s there to be scared of!”
“What we might see!” Tango contribute, popping up beside his teammate. “I don't know what you two’re doing behind that!”
Scott scoffs in disgust at the idea. Not only is the entire place made of dirt, but they're also miles in the sky. Not exactly something he’d jump at the idea of.
“Go the other way then!” he yells, getting to his feet. He pulls his shield up just in case, but no arrows come his way. He offers Martyn his hand as he watches half of TIES (two-thirds, his brain supplies helpfully. Two-thirds.) deliberate over their next course of action.
“Cowards!” Martyn yells as Etho begins retreating.
Scott laughs at the offended noise Tango makes, loud enough for them both to hear it. Laughing is easier than thinking about what just happened. Easier than turning Cleo’s words over and over in his mind.
Easier to take Martyn’s hand and lead him away as though none of that happened at all.
=== === ===
He can see Etho watching him as he climbs, ears twisted backwards and crossbow held at the ready. He’s just as pleased to be up here as Etho is. All roads lead to Skynet, apparently, meaning he’s back on the hellish thing, praying that nothing breaks.
“We’re just here to talk,” he assures, crouching on the lip of cobblestone just above the ladder, reaching a hand down slowly for Martyn to take. He feels it slot into his hand easily, burning hot against freezing cold.
“Promise?” Etho keeps his crossbow held tightly in his hands. Not that Scott blames them. This is the time for temporary alliances, certainly, but he doubts anyone is above faking a temporary alliance to get closer to someone just to kill them.
“Promise.”
Martyn settles onto the ledge beside him, though Martyn sits down, legs swinging off the edge as he watches Martyn. Scott remains crouched, one hand flat against the cobbles, hunched over like some kind of gargoyle.
He probably looks like one, too. Fish-like spines and fins make it rather hard to hide the changes he’s undergone since going red. The scales layering over his skin and remaining thick until his elbows make it even more so. He can only be glad that he still has his legs, or that It didn’t decide to give him some kind of tail to weigh him down further.
“Okay,” Etho takes a step closer, and, in an incredible show of good faith, tucks his crossbow away so none of them have any weapons. “Let’s talk, then.”
Scott grins, more than a little satisfied with himself. It’s always risky reaching out for another alliance this late in the game, but taking the risk is better than leaving the ending unknown. This is a way for them to have a better shot at winning.
“The biggest hour- time, thingy, is the Nosy Neighbours,” he starts. “Pearl and Grian have the most time right now.”
“And they're a pretty strong team,” Etho glances over in the direction of the Neighbours’ tower, expression considering. “There’s three of them in it.”
Martyn hums something that vaguely sounds like agreement, but when Scott looks over at him, he’s staring off into space again, not at all registering the space around them. Scott shuffles a little closer to him, pressing his hip into his side in the hopes that the contact can bring him back from wherever his mind has wandered off to. Contact has helped, in the previous moments where he’s been like this.
“And we’re two sets of two,” Scott says. He feels momentarily guilty for pointing it out when Etho looks saddened by the reminder that Tango is gone now, too.
“Well,” Etho rocks back on his heels. “I can’t find Impulse at the moment- not a clue where he’s wandered off to.”
Maybe Etho’s words summon him, because Scott watches a blur plummet down onto the Mansion, disappearing under the water for a moment before resurfacing. Even from their distance, he’s able to make out the distinctive yellow ‘i’ on his shirt.
“Grian fell from Skynet,” Martyn says, blinking back to reality.
“Uh, no,” he gives Martyn a confused look from the corner of his eye. “That’s Impulse.”
“I- what?” Martyn glances over at the Mansion, “Oh! Yeah, yeah, that’s Impulse. Yeah.”
Etho gives them a funny look, eyes squinting as he studies Martyn.
“We can summon him over here,” Scott says, distracting Etho before he can ask too many questions. He’d been hanging out with Martyn earlier, could have seen his spacy-ness. Could identify it as something to be used later. Something that Scott would prefer him not to do. “Tell him we have Etho.”
“Like some kind of hostage situation?”
“Ooh, yeah,” Martyn nods along with Etho’s suggestion. “Let’s take him hostage.”
“Or we can just go down and meet him?” Etho suggests. He doesn’t look excited at the hostage idea, go figure. “I don't want to make him climb all the way back up for nothing.
“I don't really want to climb all the way back down there,” he complains, but its for nought as Etho clambers up to where they're sitting, leading the (very slow) charge down to the base of the ladder. His arms feel shaky by the time he reaches the bottom, from both exertion and exhaustion. He feels like he hasn’t slept properly in weeks.
Scott taps out the message on his comm, feet firmly planted into the nice sandy ground below him. It’s a comfort, to be back on truly solid ground again, even with the TIES’ wonky tower casting a slightly uneven shadow over them all.
<Smajor1995> come to us
He follows behind Martyn and Etho absently as he continues to type, hopping over the small blast craters easily and circling around the larger ones just as easily. He has to pause for a moment to bat away a zombie, sword slashing straight through its chest and sending it dissolving into a pile of dust.
<Smajor1995> we have etho
He knows its an ominous message to leave it on, especially when the two of them have been separated for who knows how long. Etho chuckles a little at it, but doesn’t send a message to reassure his teammate. A sense of urgency makes for swift feet, and they want to deal with the Neighbours as quickly as possible, he supposes. Better to do it now than when their timers are about to run out.
“What do you mean you have Etho?!” Scott spins on the spot to greet Impulse.
“As a friend!” he calls back. “We have Etho as a friend!” A skeleton shoots him as he speaks, managing to actually hit him when he’s sluggish on putting his shield up. It’s enough to make him realise how surrounded by mobs they’ve gotten, closed in on all sides, each of them beating back at least two mobs at a time.
“Let’s go!” he calls out, looking around for a place for them to actually go. He only manages to spot the little cave entrance by chance, remembering the little nook beyond that they can hunker down in for the night. Martyn catches up with him quickly when he realises where Scott’s heading. “Told you framing it like we had Etho as a hostage would work.”
“Yeah, wasn’t you he tried to run through with his sword.” Martyn mutters.
“He didn’t try to run you through with his sword,” he rebukes softly, speaking quieter as they enter the cave, aware that their voices will echo over to the following pair.
“He was thinking it,” Martyn says darkly. “I could sense it; hear it in the air.”
Scott doesn’t even get to ask what the hell that means, because Impulse is suddenly slamming the door shut and saying something about “not letting the zombies in too!”
The plan is laughably easy to make, once they get over their bickering and the small taunts they throw at each other. It’s hard not to point out Impulse’s attempts to blow him up earlier, something that Impulse receives with good grace and lets go as water under the bridge.
It’s only worrying how often Martyn spaces out, only ever chiming back in with something that nearly has Scott questioning how he knows Grian is currently away from the base, or that Pearl is up on Skynet, nevermind that all of them are underground and have been for the better part of twenty minutes, formulating the plan they're going to use to try and eliminate their biggest threat. How Martyn knows this is a mystery, but not anything that anyone is questioning, for some reason?
It doesn’t stop Scott from inching a little closer, until they're close enough to touch. So Scott can make sure he’s still real, still there. Not yet gone and seeing things that only the dead are meant to see.
It’s unnerving, how Martyn’s eyes go far away when he thinks about something, considers a question that he realistically shouldn’t have the answer to.
It’s terrifying when he tilts his head to the side, as though angling himself to listen to something more intently.
=== === ===
Oh this is new, he thinks, when he enters the tower that he knows BigB is in, and there’s no-one there. He holds his sword steady, laughing a little as he looks around.
He’s not invisible, no small swirls of smoke giving away his position as he moves. There’s absolutely no indication of where BigB is, other than the faint impression that there’s a person right in front of him.
“Oh, you're invisible,” he says aloud, mostly to himself.
“Am I?” BigB’s voice comes from a little to the left, and he swings for it, sword sweeping in a wide arc as he hopes it catches on flesh. It jerks to a stop as it embeds itself in…some part of BigB. He stares hard at that spot in front of him, but his eyes refuse to focus, sliding away whenever he tries to look for longer than a second.
“You are,” he confirms, ignoring BigB’s small grunt of pain as he yanks his sword back towards himself, holding it up defensively. This entire fight just got a lot harder if BigB isn’t the one doing this. It can only be one other doing this, sabotage against him. Something to make him fall a little easier. He loses track of where BigB is, the empty tower around them making his footsteps echo and hard to track. “I'm sure this fight will be easy enough, though.”
“No it won’t!”
Gotcha.
He swings around, spinning on the heel of his foot to make it quicker, flipping his sword at the last moment and slamming the blunt edge of his blade into BigB’s side, winding him rather than slicing him in half.
He swings his sword up to block at the shing of a blade being unsheathed, feeling the invisible weapon press down against his hands, heavy and forcing him to bend beneath it. He bends his knees, sinking a little lower. BigB laughs, excited at this upper hand he’s gained.
Scott holds it a little longer, ignoring the way his arms begin to shake from the strain. Only when he’s certain BigB is pressing most of his weight down against him does he slip away, dropping his sword and darting out of range as fast as he can.
‘As fast as he can’ is apparently not fast enough, feeling the cool metal of a blade dig into his back before he manages to slip completely away, hissing through clenched teeth at the burning sensation that quickly spreads over his back.
“Hah!” BigB cheers at this small victory, even as Scott turns back to face him. The wavering outline of something vaguely resembling a person is all he has to go off of. It’s like the wavering air above stone on a hot day. “Still confident?”
“Of course,” he scoffs. He ignores the way he has to readjust his grip on his sword, hand sweaty as he backs up another step. Whatever invisibility gift this is, it’s not fair. He has a rather good idea of who is doing this, and he cusses them out silently in his mind. Maybe They’ll be able to hear his swearing. “You think I’ll go down that easily?”
He can feel the blood soaking through his shirt rather quickly. For a surface wound, it’s bleeding a lot, and really quite painful.
He still swings when BigB comes at him again, the sound of feet on the cobbles his only indicator. Swinging in such a wide arc wrenches something in his shoulder, and he swears he can feel the flesh tearing further, strained apart like the threads of a garment, stretched beyond breaking point.
In the end, BigB catches him unawares. A rather easy feat, considering he can’t see the other man.
He gasps at the feeling of a blade piercing his flesh, stumbles back – tries to stumble backwards, finds himself stuck on whatever weapon he’s just been impaled with. The weapon he can’t see, but his mind still registers the pain pain pain of a slow death. Still registers the blood blossoming around the puncture.
He can see his insides, vaguely and through a distorted lens. It warps, as though he should be seeing something other than the tearing of his blood vessels and his parted flesh. He can see organs you're not meant to see, curled around himself in the way that he is, can see the puncturing of these probably vital organs which is not a good sign for his continued survival. His flesh is darker than he thought it would be, and bleeds for far longer than he expects.
He lasts far longer than he expected, shallow breaths wheezing out of him as he crumples to the ground.
“Woah, hey,” hands he can’t see lay over his arms, the faint feeling of pressure against his skin the only thing his mind registers. He can see his skin indent where hands press against his forearms, idents that can only be created by hands holding onto him. Hands that he cannot, for some reason, see. “It’ll be over in a sec, I’m sure.”
Scott tilts his head back and allows himself a small groan. He’s bleeding out slowly and sluggishly, he thinks he can afford a singular moment of pain amongst this shitshow.
He almost reaches the point of asking BigB to just slit his throat when the room spins dizzying circles around him, and words are coming from an unseen mouth, unseen hands brushing up and down his arms in what is probably meant to be a reassuring gesture, but is actually just unnerving.
He chokes on the blood in his mouth, and wakes with it still coating his teeth.
=== === ===
“Do you want to get BigB again?” Martyn asks, turning to him with a gleam in his eyes.
Scott hasn’t decided whether he likes this new Martyn yet or not. The Martyn of earlier, with his listless expression and drifting thoughts was not fun to deal with nor exciting to observe, but the Martyn of the here and now, the Martyn with an anticipatory gleam in his eye and a pep in his step at the thought of killing someone else is also not reassuring.
“Not really,” he replies, as casually as he can. “I got my time back from him.”
“And you don't want more?”
“Uh, not really, no.” He and Martyn are alone right now, Impulse and Etho splitting off from their little group momentarily. He doubts they’ll join back together again, everyone’s clocks hanging far too low to trust someone you only made a temporary alliance with.
(For just a moment, Scott wishes they’d come back. Come and act as a buffer between him and the ally that he no longer recognises. The gleam in his eye is dangerous, it warns. A herald of what is to come. He considers, briefly, slipping away into the night and disappearing until his clock runs out of time. Until that last grain of sand in his hourglass slips through and buries him completely. He’s not sure he wants to see what will happen if it’s just him and Martyn. When it’s just him and Martyn.)
“Alright,” Martyn drags the word out, as though he doesn’t believe him. Maybe he doesn’t, with the red-blindness that seems to descend onto everyone at this point, looming over their shoulders like a particularly grim reminder. He can almost hear the clocks ticking down, beat by beat, moment by moment. “If you say so.”
“I do,” he says. “I do say so.”
Martyn considers him for another moment longer. Watches him with those red eyes that seem to hold nothing but calculations behind them. A measure of how long it would take to overpower someone, how long it would take to bleed them dry of their blood and their time. How many arrows to divert someone from their chosen path. How many swings of the sword before their time can be claimed, like the spoils after a hunt.
Scott hates it. Hates this. Hates what his friends become. Hates what it is – who it is – that makes them do it.
Martyn shrugs and turns away. His walk is casual, deceptively so. He moves quickly, off to kill whoever it is that he’s set his mind on. Possibly the Nosy Neighbours, eyes set on them as a target, like a dog with a bone, relentlessly gnawing on it as though that will force it to produce something more.
Ah, yes. That’s what it is.
Martyn watches him as though his heart no longer beats, as though he is nothing more than a chunk of flesh to be devoured for the benefit, what he might gain from it.
Scott walks in the opposite direction to Martyn and hopes, rather selfishly, that they don’t have to cross paths again.
=== === ===
All paths lead back to the clock. All lead back to the timer ticking down, hanging heavy over their heads and around their necks; a slowly tightening noose.
Perhaps it is fitting, then, with his clock at a negligible amount that they arrive at the Clock Tower. Built at the centre of their little world. Everything revolves around the clock, and the Clockers have made sure they cannot forget that.
The face of it peers down at them, despite Scott not being able to see it from where he stands now. He can feel it. Can feel the ticking of the hands, the shifting and grinding of the gears that allow it to turn. Will allow it to turn long after each of them is dead.
Martyn and Impulse watch each other warily, watch him warily. He watches them back, far less wary than either of them.
He can see how this plays out, can see the end already in the tight grip of a hand upon a sword. Can see the way such a hand refuses to release the last weapon he holds, refuses to give up his one advantage here. Can see how the hand hesitates when moving to unstrap his armour, to unbuckle the plates and let them fall loosely to the ground.
Scott undoes the strap in one unceremonious movement, only grimacing slightly at the clatter as it hits the ground, rolling uselessly around his feet.
Martyn watches him, suspicion misting his eyes. His hand continues to falter, resting over his heart and over his chestplate. One that has still to be removed. Impulse’s armour lays on the ground, too, scattered around in pieces as though he’d simply tossed it aside carelessly in his eagerness to get it off.
Scott tilts his head to the side, almost imperceptibly, watches the way Martyn tracks the tiny movement. The way Impulse does not.
There is a question in his eyes, one that he is not sure Martyn can read anymore. The Martyn of yesterday would have been able to. The Martyn that still cared to scrub his hands free of blood, the one that cared enough to clean beneath his nails, so not even the slightest speck of blood would continue to stain his hands.
The Martyn of today is not the one he has spent time getting to know better. He is not the one that could read a question in the tilt of his eyebrows or the squint of his eyes. He is not the one that would be able to read the question in his eyes right now, swimming just below the surface. Maybe Martyn reaches for that understanding he once had, but the explanation slips away easily, a fish disappearing beneath the surface once more.
So maybe he doesn’t read the implicit permission. The silent question that doesn’t need an answer. Because Martyn might not be able to read his eyes, might not be able to read anything from him at this point, but Scott can still read him. Can still see the plan in his eyes, the way it whirrs in his brain as he smooths out the crinkles and finalises it.
Still, despite Martyn’s plan being finalised, set in stone and ready to be carried out regardless of what anyone says, Scott gives him a small nod that he might not catch. A granting of permission. A better you than anyone else. Martyn might not understand it. May have lost the ability to read him entirely.
He still ends up with a sword through the heart, pulled out slowly, longingly. Blood coats the inside of his mouth, and when he coughs, feels it spilling over, it feels like a parting kiss.
#juno.writes#mer scott (+ fishfucker martyn)#limited life#limited life fic#majorwood#trafficshipping#scott smajor#martyn inthelittlewood#mean gills#trafficblr#traffic series#traffic smp#limited life scott#limited life martyn#limited life smp#trafficfic
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2023 is coming to an end and while this blog has yet to hit one year old, it’s gathered its fair share of mutuals. it’s only fair to give you all some thanks and appreciation before the year closes. if you’re not here i apologise sincerely, i’ll make sure you are on next year’s list.
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ mika — @mikacynth
hi mika !! i’ll start with you. i know we haven’t interacted much since you went to university (i hope you’re doing super well !! please take care of yourself) but i wanted to thank you for being one of my first mutuals on this hell site. you were super friendly and you always randomly drop cursed genshin memes in the server <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ mae — @maehemthemisfit
mae, i don’t know where life has taken you but i miss you a lot. it was so fun trying to figure out dango anon and you made me laugh countless times, i just hope you’re doing well <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ bell — @blue-b3rries
ew it’s bell (i’m JOKING) hi sweetheart !! you literally never fail to make me laugh in the network server and you always come out with really random things. it’s okay, maybe next christmas we’ll get you a dictionary /lh i love you !! /p <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ inky — @lemeowade
inky !! my favourite artist ever !! we don’t actually interact too much on tumblr now (i do like a lot of the stuff you rb tho) because we talk a lot on discord now. it’s nice to have someone that checks in occasionally and i absolutely love when you show your art !! it’s clear you’re making progress with it and finding your style and i love it so much. you’re gonna do fab things sweetheart <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ amai — @amaiaqt
one of my favourite writers ever and a fellow cyno simp !! i miss you a lot and it shows because i always get excited to see you in my inbox. i hope life is treating you well and that we get to see you more in the new year <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ general — @watatsumiis
hi general !! i’m sorry we didn’t interact as much anymore but you’re so sweet and fun to talk to !! i love your writing and i have the best time reading your tags on people’s art because i’m like “damn. that’s so me” and also you always reblog the best art?? it’s wild you keep my dash alive <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ aly — @soleillunne
who are you? anyways hi wife !! i send you appreciation letters whenever things get tough so i’ll dull it down here a little. thank you for being probably my closest mutual, talking to me daily and always sending tiktoks to each other. if you dare think about leaving me, i’ll find you. in every lifetime <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ari — @n3r0-1417
another person that i’m super sorry we don’t interact as much anymore ): you literally never failed to make me laugh and you 100% have permission to kill me at any time, just don’t tell aly. i hope we can interact more in the new year and i hope it treats you well too, you deserve it <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ yui — @ilyuu
yui !! wow i’m really failing on interacting with some of you but whenever you’re on my dash it’s pure chaos?? even with no context i can’t lie it’s funny. i picture it like when the scooby doo gang are running and you see all the different shots and stuff. anyways, 2024 better treat you good !! <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ kiri — @kirimoochi
the last time we interacted you wasn’t doing so hot on some fronts and i really hope things have improved for you, sweetheart. you deserve the world and whilst i love your alhaitham & kazuha works, i know a lot of them came from your heart and i hope you’re healing. i pray the new year is kind to you and that things are going better <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ bori — @bboricha
hi bori !! we’ve only interacted a few times because i find it sooo funny when you randomly appear on my dash talking about leon kennedy (because honestly, same) but i hope there’s chances we interact more in 2024 !! fun fact, i followed you for your 5swirl stuff and 1k special (i actually remember what content made me follow you hahahelpme) but i stayed because… relatable. here’s to more interactions !! <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ yume — @yaminohimeyume
oh boy.. hi yume !! you know i could sit here for hours appreciating you right? whenever i log into genshin i check to see if you’re online so i can say hi !! i love helping you with bosses, domains or even exploration but even when we just talk and i don’t join you, it’s nice to have a conversation with someone. you’ve provided me with plenty of distractions this year but in 2024 our goal is to build your characters HAHA i love you !! /p <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ aya — @miuzki
my neuvillette !! i miss you so much, i hope you’ve been doing well and not overworking at all. i know you haven’t really been in touch with genshin towards the end of this year but you’re always welcome in my messages, yknow? i love your writing so much (i still re-read that comfort piece you wrote for me all the time…) please take care of yourself and i hope you have an amazing new year <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ yukari — @ryuryuryuyurboat
is that.. is that my favourite child?! hi ryuu !! i don’t exactly remember how we met. you kinda just appeared in my life one day but it felt like i’d known you forever. you’re an absolute joy to know and you constantly bring a smile to my face !! i’ll c6r5 morrigan first though. have a fantastic new year (and you will not be getting rid of me) <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ lili — @lillonvia
oh my gosh !! my chihuahua !! every time we talk i have the best time ever i can’t even lie like that one time we randomly started reciting the lyrics to california girls and how you started playing on eu server for me. it’s a little crazy with the timezone difference but you’re the amber to my collei and you deal with me torturing you with my genshin va knowledge (did you know cyno is izumi from horimiya?) i love youuuu /p <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ dumbi — @dumbificat
well well well, if it isn't the cutest mf to ever exist >///< it's my co.. parent-in-law? i don't remember because i just remembering rizzing you (oops.) but hey dumbi !! i'll be fr i was always a little nervous/scared to interact with you but i really wanted to and then you joined the network and i minorly lost my mind.. thank you so much for all the smiles and laughter you've brought in these past few months and also for your writing that i am very happily married to. oh and all the fun i get to have helping you explore on eu <3 thank you for letting me join you sometimes. i really hope we get to interact more in 2024 and here's to hoping the new year treats you well!! i love youuuu /p <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ heia — @heiayen
heia. my child. my sweet, funky bean. i love you /p but also. fuck you for how much you make me absolutely lose my shit when it's late for us and i have to be quiet so instead i'm wheezing in bed until i'm crying. chaos hours are the best and you are genuinely such a sweetheart to be friends with. i hope we get to interact more in 2024 (you have no choice) and that it treats you well !! but also, 0.5 stars to the ayaka uber but 10 stars to the network's ooc reporter. mwah! i love you (again) /p (you still need to read to me in some blankets ehehe) <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ coco — @hwaitham
hi hi coco !! we haven't interacted that much (and i'm typing very formal for this post it feels out of character for me) but i've loved your works for sooooo long !! and you and haitham are so cute i just wanna. AAAA you deserve the world and i genuinely hope everything you ever want comes true in 2024 because you just deserve it. if it doesn't, i'll start barking up some trees ehehe. i love you!! /p i hope we get to interact more in 2024 <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ raine — @to-kazuha
oh, it's you /j hi sweetheart <3 2023 has been very all over the place for us but here we are, ending (and starting) another year together !! even if you don't think so, your writing is amazing and i can't wait to see you grow and get more comfortable with it (practise makes perfect!) and also how can i forget that you're my personal miko main.. life would have been a very sad experience if you hadn't came to me on anon in my old blog <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ clara — @umgatochamadopercyval
clara !! you're a very recent mutual so i can't say i have a lot to write (we'll be changing this in 2024 !!) but you are an absolute gem to know. your asks never fail to make me smile and now even your messages !! you're a sweetheart and you deserve a lot of good things. i hope 2024 brings more sagau isekai to my dms and a lot of joy to you. never stop being you !! <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ yza — @yzashaven
hi yza !! we've not been able to interact for a while ): but i'd like to appreciate you for all the times you've came to my inbox with angst, i love you so much for it /p and i still have an angst draft with your name on it because of an idea you came into my inbox with !! your writing is so good and i really hope we get to interact more next year. happy holidays sweetheart !! <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ honorary mentions — @jingyuansbird, @honeykaes, @nervocat & @bunicate
happy holidays & happy new year to the four of you !! i would love to appreciate you all but i can only go as far as praising the absolute hell out of all of your works !! you're all fantastic writers that i love to pieces and i hope that the new year treats you all well !! here's to more interactions so i can write you all paragraphs next year (cries) <3
signed with love, serafina.
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Your McShep fics are giving me life. I'm CRAVING McShep content recently - its so hard to discover a love for old fandoms that are now less active! Please send me all the great other McShep fics you stumble across, I've burned my way through your whole library
Oh my goodness!!!! This ask plus the one from a few weeks ago are really telling me I need to get back to doing fic rec posts regularly!!!!!
First of all thank you so much for your kind words about my fic 💖💖💖💖 honestly for me SGA fandom feels soooo active, even though I know it was an actual juggernaut back in the day lmao. BUT that means that there’s a MASSIVE backlog of stuff to read!!!! Just insane amounts of staggeringly good fics!!!!
And second of all you can check all my previous rec posts here: the tag is sometimes ficlets I’ve reblogged but also lots of links and lists in there!!
ANYWAY. Let me see if I can rustle up some new recs for you my friend! I have a couple of unposted recs in my notes so we’ll pop those in first:
Five People Who Know by hestia_lacey | ~4k, rated E
Five people who know exactly how John Sheppard feels about Rodney McKay.
Only read this if you’re prepared to have your heart stomped on, but ahhhhhhhh. The first part, with Jeannie, is definitely my favorite.
Wishes on a Wheel by waterfalliam | ~3.2k, rated T
The sun is gentle, faintly wrong against his skin. The wind whispers against his arms and neck that he’s alive and that counts for something, he’s never wholly alone, he still has himself—but it’s nothing like the sea breeze that feels like home.
Absolutely beautifully sad introspective Epiphany!John piece, dealing with his depression and feelings of abandonment, with a sweet ending 💖
Solitary by @esteefee | ~5k, rated M
Four days in solitary gives a guy time to think. Unless he's an idiot.
Aggggh the John voice in this is immaculate (as is to be expected from esteefee ofc). Sardonically funny with a soft and chewy emotional core that just...takes a little time and a little chipping away at to get to. But, you know, worth it.
Followed by two faves from this year’s sga secret santa, both of them variations on the theme of John and Rodney making up:
In the Dark of the Night by @hero-in-waiting | ~5.8k, rated M
The problem with arguments is that they never happen at a good time. Which is a to be expected given their nature. And the problem with trying to make up is, at least in the Pegasus galaxy, they come at an even worst time. Especially when John and Rodney get stuck off world, running from some locals who took a dislike to them immediately and five days after an argument that, in John's opinion, had started over nothing.
But at least they were together?
Love the concept of this one, love them being forced into life or death situations before being able to talk about their feelings, looooove the misunderstanding on Rodney’s part 🥰🥹
When I Think of All the Worries That People Seem to Find by @audioletter | ~2.3k, rated G
After ten years of being together, John acts like John and Rodney acts like Rodney.
Absolutely cried reading this I love it so much. The depth of knowledge that they have for each other after so long is so apparent in the best, most beautiful way.
Aaaand let’s round it out with a nice long one:
Inukshuk by murron | ~80k, rated M
A mission-gone-south isolates Rodney and John from the rest of the team. Forced to search for an Ancient outpost, they struggle to keep each other alive until the time their kidnappers prepare to sacrifice the one and purify the other.
This is absolutely a mcshep fic but I almost found that taking a backseat for me in my enjoyment of the way that the plot unfolds, the way that it’s written? Absolutely spellbinding work, I struggled to put it down.
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Readmores And You - A Really Great Tumblr Feature!
(this is technically directed at stuff I've seen in a specific tag because of the content of said tag makes it more likely to spoiler things, but it applies to anyone likely learning the ins and outs of a new site. speaking of which, hello! welcome to tumblr!) (this got. longer than anticipated. apologies, I get bogged down in trying to make things as clear as possible. ^^")
I've seen this a lot recently in the VC tags especially, where the post goes something to the effect of "tw bloody animal!" then like six periods and the images of whatever dead thing the post is about.
I recognize this is probably being carried over from some other website (...reddit probably? maybe insta?) but please. I appreciate y'all so much for trying to do what you're doing. but this method of hiding pictures isn't effective on tumblr, but there is an infinitely better option!
"but why? it works fine on other sites?" firstly, a few extra lines typically don't even take up enough space on mobile (let alone desktop) to hide your pics, so even at a glance anyone is likely still seeing at least the top half of whichever picture you posted before even noticing the trigger warning on top. second, because you have to scroll all the way past the images at the bottom of your post anyway to get to the next one on your dash/in the tag/etc. so if someone comes across your post and the trigger warning is applicable as something they want to avoid, unless they have access to a keyboard to use a keybind shortcut that ive been here 12 years and still cant remember, they can't see any other posts after it without either having to scroll through the pics or outright block you. which is... not the most ideal of options I would say.
"but what else am I supposed to do then!?" I hear you ask.
READMORES!
tumblr has a wonderful feature known as a "readmore" that's built into the site! it creates a break in your post, which hides any content - be it words, images, whatever - that you place underneath it, not showing it unless the person viewing it clicks on the words "keep reading" (formerly "read more" - hence the name :D).
Cool, how do I do that?
on mobile you can place one by tapping an empty line and clicking the grey squiggle icon from the selection that allow you to insert an image/vid/link
which will place a squiggly line into the post you're making:
(desktop uses the same icon, it's just in a more compact row of icons.)
you can drag it around after placing it too, just like photos. (note: mobile can get finicky with this and it's usually just easier to remove it -click the big red X- and add it in the new place you want it.)
EDIT: some of the versions of mobile editor are broken and don't show the icons. to add it in manually type ":readmore:" (with the colons, but not the quotation marks) on its own line. Thank you for the reminder, LovingTogetic!
this is also a nice way to keep your blog tidy and not swamped in long and/or spoilery posts (say if you're posting 5k word fics, or extensive meta, or gushing over the ending of the latest game or TV show most people probably haven't seen yet)! it's not required, obviously, but it's generally considered a common courtesy for others that will be seeing your post cross their dashboard.
finally, an example of the readmore in action:
(ta-da!)
have fun out there y'all, I hope this is helpful ^^
as an aside (I wasn't sure where to put this but under the break seemed appropriate), you may also see a lot of personal/vent posts be fully under readmores as well, even if the post is only a sentence or two long. this is mostly so followers don't necessarily see it unless they specifically click, but there's a more frustrating history to it becoming a thing: when a post is reblogged, any content above the break is permanently frozen as it existed at the time, but anything under it will reflect edits made to the post. while not common, a certain type of user sometimes browse the various "do not rb" tags and will purposefully reblog personal posts in order to upset and distress the users. putting those things under a readmore make it so even if that happens, the text can be deleted from all iterations of the post. recently the site rolled out an option to lock a post to reblogs, but you gotta mess with the settings and it's mostly a habit after a decade here dealing with the nonsense.
#tumblr guide#hope it's okay to tag i'll remove if asked but#vulture culture#how to#tumblr how to#readmores#tumblr how-to
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do u have any naoya fic recommendations? rn i’m living off your ao3 one but it’d be nice to have more!
also! id like to mention that i started reading your ao3 fic in november i think and when i got towards the end i was so sad bc i had to wait for the chapters😞 BUT ITS OK bc your writing is truly like phenomenal and i cannotttt describe how hard it is to find a fic that’s so well written as yours. like i can go on and on about how you write a good amount for one chapter and you’re able to capture the emotion SO WELL!! so thank u😭🙏
Hello!!
Sorry for taking a while to respond :'( things are happening and honestly i'm super stressed right now for something so stupid i s2g but ANYWAYS
Thank you so much for your lovely words!!! omg....njsgk aghajks hkja I still find it hard to believe that people like my fic and my writing style 😭😭 specially after that one comment I got quite recently 😥
I just... really, really like my fic, and I'm so happy that it shows. I'm very proud with what little I've been able to amount, from improving my writing (I think I have lol) to getting all this support.
I'm still in disbelief to have this honor 😭❤️ really, thank you so much ❤️❤️ I will continue to keep writing and doing my best!! Know for sure that I will finish the story, however long it takes me!!! I just hope you continue to like it :3
As for the fic rec's, I haven't read much as of lately, but I have posted something like this quite recently! also, I don't know if this is of any help, but on my main blog I tend to reblog fics that I really like on this tag over here (beware, I tend to dump everything jjk together...)
And then, here are my must reads. They essentially molded me into who I am now :')
Once again, thank you so much for your support ❤️❤️❤️❤️🥺 I wouldn't be here, enjoying this as much as I do, if it weren't for all of you. Can't wait to post what's coming!
Take care, and hope to see you soon ❤️
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maybe the night would take me home II Frankie Morales
Part 1 : "Divorce And The American South" & "The Thunderbird Inn"
a Frankie Morales Story inspired by the album "We Don't Have Each Other" by Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties.
A/N : This imagine series will deal with sensitive topics please see my tags for TW. Please proceed with caution. Also there’s mention of smoking and alcohol. English is not my native language, go easy on me please.
Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated
There's a hole in the wall and a square where the wallpaper is a lighter shade of beige than the rest. There probably used to be a painting or a mirror. The ceiling fan is missing one of its blades and there's a huge rip in the ugly brown curtain that's blocking the street lights from flooding the room.
He can just about make out the glow coming from the street light in front of his window. There used to be more color permeating the thin curtains and throwing kaleidoscope patterns into his motel room but people have started to take down their Christmas lights leaving him with just the ugly yellow of the street lamp.
The motel room is dull and gray and hopeless and broken and ugly and Frankie thinks it's fitting because that's exactly how he feels and really, he doesn’t mind it all that much.
The clerk at the front desk, he wants to say his name is Steve, is nice, and always pours him a cup of coffee whenever he finds Frankie sitting in the tiny lobby area of the Motel where the vending machines are. The coffee isn’t good but it’s warm and that’s enough these days.
“Long night?” he asks and every time Frankie nods and says “Sure has been.” Steve then grants him one of those smiles that lets you know the person is looking straight through your lie but they’re way too nice to call you out on your bullshit.
“Well, tomorrow’s a new day. Hope that one is better,” he replies, every time.
Frankie nods again knowing full well it won’t be.
He’s given Frankie a break on the rent this week.
“Look don’t you worry about it. Just make sure you pay me back with next week’s rent. I know you’re good for it.”
“I probably am.”
Steve was laughing then. He probably won’t laugh when he hears that Frankie’s coming up short again this week.
Back in his tiny motel room, his clammy hands grab the room's phone tightly. It will probably cost him a fortune to use it — again — though after throwing it against a solid brick wall, his cell phone is but a piece of junk left somewhere by the side of the truck stop.
He doesn't really need it anyway. Too many pictures and memories and shit he doesn't want to think about because he can’t get it back.
He takes another sip from the bottle. He thinks it's whiskey but he might be wrong. It all tastes the same these days.
Calling her won’t do any good and he knows but he can't help himself. It's like an itch that he just has to scratch. It's like a desperate need that he has to satisfy. It's like an addiction he has to feed.
It's 2 in the morning and she's most likely asleep and Frankie hates himself for waking her up. She's lost enough sleep as it is. But his mind is so loud and he needs to get all of these things off his chest. All the things he didn't say when he should have, when it counted, when it meant something, when she needed him to.
It's not the first time he's called either. He wonders if she'll ever pick up.
There's a perfectly clear picture burned into his mind of the first time he'd called her after he left. He had been stranded at some run-down truck stop that could've been the perfect location for the first kill in a horror movie. There was a bottle of water in his hand and the phone receiver in the other.
He can't recall how long he'd spent inside the phone booth reading her number out loud and trying to work up the courage to call her but he knows it's been quite a while. And when he did he was met with the dial tone. With every beep his heart sunk a little further, felt a little heavier.
" Hello this is Y/N, I can't pick up the phone right now but feel free to leave a message after the tone and I'll ring you back. Ok, bye. "
Her voice sounded so cheery and he remembers the tears threatening to leave his eyes at the sound of it. She hadn't sounded this cheery in a long long time and his heart broke knowing that was partially his fault.
" Hey Y/N, It's me .... Frankie. If you’re listening can you please pick up the phone? I know you're home. "
He could still recall her daily schedule better than anything, after all, they had been living together for years.
" I know where I went wrong. I really do. I uh— I'm at a truck stop. Not sure where I'm going yet but I'll call you. Please talk to me, baby. I love you. "
He remembers his heart breaking and breaking more and shattering and it hasn't been fixed yet. There's that little cynical corner of his brain that tells him it never will be fixed. All good things come to an end sooner or later and this is THE good thing in his life. She is the best thing. She was the chance he never thought he’d get. A shot at redemption.
That other day he found a bar just outside the township line. He goes most every night now whenever he can feel a bad night coming. All nights are bad nights now. The floors are sticky and the bar is dusty but the drinks are cheap and the barkeeper doesn’t bother to get him tangled up in any kind of conversation. All Frankie gets is a look of pity as he pours him another drink. Fuck, he didn’t know that he looks that pathetic.
The alcohol doesn’t numb his heart the way it used to. Back when he woke up in a cold sweat with visions of a life he tried so hard to leave behind he could always count on the inside of a bottle to make the demons disappear for a while. Then when that stopped working, the drugs managed to do it.
And then when he hit rock bottom, for some inexplicable reason, life chose to send him her and she made every other coping mechanism pale in comparison. Her love did not make the demons go away, or the fear, or the guilt. Her love made him realize that he could live a good life regardless. That even the worst parts of him are worthy of love.
He thinks she might’ve been wrong.
There's a half-empty pack of cigarettes laying on the nightstand. He hasn't touched them for a while. Got them at that same truck stop where he smashed his phone but only smoked half a pack before he remembered that promise he made her a long time ago, back when she had first told him, back when they were happy.
And he failed. Because for a while he’d felt like the reason he stopped smoking in the first place had vanished. If there was no one to promise something to, was there even a promise to begin with?
The cigarettes bring back memories of the second time he'd called her. It was right after he arrived here, at this very same motel. With the very same peeling wallpaper and the chipped door and the ceiling fan that is missing one blade and the carpet with the burn marks. The same motel he is basically succumbing in right now.
He was less nervous the second time he'd called her, less nervous but more fucked up. Half drunk on cheap whiskey and half drunk on the infinite sadness he's felt ever since their life went to shit.
This time he didn't make himself believe she'd pick up. He knew she wouldn't and maybe that was a good thing. Frankie didn't want her to know he was shitfaced, that he tried to numb the pain with past vices he promised to leave behind.
" Hey Y/N "
As the words rolled off his lips there was no doubt in his mind that she'd still know. He sounded drunk. He hated it.
" Just wanted to tell you that uh — I uh I've been trying to quit. I went from a pack and a half a day to this e-cigarette bullshit. "
It had been a stupid idea, thinking this e-cigarette shit would do anything for him but it was worth a try. Everything was worth a try for her.
" It stops the coughing fits. I know that you always hated my smoking habit. I hope you can be a little proud of me. I know I don't deserve it. I love you, bye."
There was a time, Frankie thinks and scoffs, when he thought love was enough. What a fool he'd been. Now he knows that's all proper bullshit.
It isn't like he doesn't love her, he loves her entirely too much for his own good.
It's that too much love can destroy you. It eats you up from the inside out.
He can't keep himself from loving her though, and from holding onto that little spark of hope that she might still love him back. After all they've been through, all they had to endure, the thought that she might one day forgive him and love him again was the only thing still keeping him afloat. Without her, he'd sink. And maybe, he thinks, maybe love is enough. It's enough to make him go on.
There's a fly buzzing around the room, sitting down on Frankie’s arm from time to time. He doesn't have the energy to swat her away.
A little voice in his mind wonders what would happen if he just kept laying here. Maybe if he only lays here long enough, maybe the bugs will eat him alive. Maybe the night will swallow him and take him home. Maybe she’ll come looking for him.
His mind wanders off to places he tried hard to forget. To the tears and the pain and the way she didn't yell at him. Not once.
She didn't scream or yell or throw stuff at him. She just stared and let it all wash over her as if she was invincible.
He knew she wasn't. Knows she isn’t now. She wasn't invincible but she was too deeply wounded to care anymore and that was the most terrifying part of it all.
He wanted her to yell so he knew she still cared.
He thinks of the dream and how he saw himself, lifeless, alone. How everyone was looking at him as they lowered his casket into the ground. How his friends were there, his brother, his family, and even the neighbors. Not her though. She wasn't there.
His fingers are dialing the familiar numbers before he can even fully register what's happening.
There's the dial tone that he's grown to know so well lately. Three more and he gets to hear her voice.
Two.
One.
" Hello this is Y/N, I can't pick up the phone right now but feel free to leave a message after the tone and I'll ring you back. Ok, bye. "
Lies. She won’t call back. But that's okay, he understands why she doesn’t. Why she can’t.
" Y/N It's me again. Frankie. "
He combs his fingers through his hair nervously.
" Of course, it's me, who else would call you at this time? I'm sorry. "
He's been saying sorry an awful lot lately. Especially considering the fact that he hasn't been very generous with that word when it really mattered.
" I had a dream. About you. Well not exactly about you. Actually, you weren't in it and that's kind of the problem. "
Remembering the dream sends a cold shiver down his back.
" I uh — I was on a plane. I flew back north, no idea where I wanted to go. All I know is that I didn't make it there. Plane went down like it was made of paper. They were all at the funeral. My funeral. Everyone. Not you though. You — You weren't there Y/N. That scares me. I hope you'd come to the funeral. I'd want you there. "
He knows it's time. She's not gonna pick up anytime soon so this might be his only chance of ever getting to admit his faults of ever talking about the actual problem, the root of all the pain and heartbreak. It's not face-to-face but it's the next best thing. It's his only shot.
" Y/N, I know I fucked up. I do know. It's just after it happened. After — "
Saying it out loud will make it real. It will break his heart once again. He's an adult though and has been running from his issues long enough. This stupid urge to flee made this all so much worse.
Take a breath.
And face the reality.
" After it happened. When we lost the baby I just, I shut off. I shut you out and I am so sorry. I just, I needed to be strong for you but I wasn't. All I did was push you away. I never listened. I wasn't there. I should've been there for you to help you get through this but I was too busy keeping myself from bursting at the seams. Fuck, I was so selfish. If I could change the way I treated you, treated the situation, trust me I would. I would. I miss her so much Y/N and I never even got to meet her and I didn't want to put this all-consuming sadness on you so I pulled away. I didn't want to make you hurt even more than you already were but that's exactly what I did and I will never forgive myself for that. I hope you can though. I love you so much. "
There's a hole in his chest the size of a newborn.
It's the size of a little baby girl he never got to meet. A little baby girl he always imagined would have his eyes and her mother's breathtaking smile. A little baby girl he'd raise to be brave and generous and smart and wonderful.
There is a hole in his chest the size of a little baby girl and he knows it will never fully heal.
He should've been there for her, his wife, the mother of his child. He had tried so hard, so hard to hide his sadness and pain from her instead of embracing it with her by his side. He should've been there with her so they could hold each other above the waters. But he let her drown by herself and he would never fully forgive himself for that.
" I love you Y/N and I'm coming home soon I promise. That's if you still want to see me. I won't let you go through the darkness alone anymore though. I love you. "
He hangs up the phone and without a warning, the tears roll down his cheeks. They're the silent kind, the painful kind. But for once, since it all happened they're not entirely from sadness, a small part of him is feeling a little lighter now that he's faced reality. A small part of him cries tears of relief. A small part of him still believes that maybe things with his wife can work out again if only he can show her how much he cares and loves her. That he can hold her hand even through the darkest of times.
A small part of him knows that it can't get worse than this.
A small part of him, a small part knows she loves him back. Even with that gray cloud hanging over him reminding him of the paperwork that might be waiting for him at home.
There's a hole in the wall and a square where the wallpaper is a lighter shade of beige than the rest. There probably used to be a painting or a mirror. The ceiling fan is missing one of its blades and there's a huge rip in the ugly brown curtain that's blocking the street lights from flooding the room.
is dull and gray and hopeless and broken and ugly and Frankie thinks that things can only get better from here on out.
It’s 2am when he sneaks out of his room and past the lobby. Steve will forgive him, he’s sure of it. For the two weeks' rent and for not saying goodbye.
The world is fast asleep as his car takes him down the empty streets towards the bar he found some resemblance of comfort in for the last few weeks.
One last drink, he tells himself. But this one won’t be for the bad days ahead. This one will mark a page turned, a step taken.
“Whiskey?” the barkeeper inquires, already pulling the bottle from the shelf.
“Gimme a beer instead. Whatever bottles you have in the fridge is fine.”
No more words are exchanged as the barkeeper hands Frankie the cold bottle.
This one’s for the daughter he’ll never meet, he thinks, and the wife who shouldn’t love him no more but god does he hope and pray she still does. Even when he doesn’t deserve it.
He’s got half a tank of gas left and as soon as the bottle is empty he’ll make his way home.
Not the motel.
Home. Their apartment.
And he’ll face whatever is waiting there for him.
That’s the thing about losing everything — things can only get better from here on out.
#frankie morales x reader#frankie morales x you#frankie morales x y/n#frankie morales x female reader#frankie morales x f!reader#frankie morales fanfiction#frankie morales fanfic#frankie morales imagine#frankie morales imagines#francisco morales x reader#francisco morales x you#francisco morales imagines#francisco morales imagine#francisco morales x female reader#triple frontier fanfiction#triple frontier imagines#triple frontier imagine#Story TW: Miscarriage#Story TW: alcohol#Story TW: smoking#Story TW: slight mention of drugs
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@benanazauce YOUR TAGS ON PART 8.1 ARE SO NICE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I’m making this its own post bc of a thing at the end but I figured I’d reply to all the nice things you said!!
She needs that hug so bad but she might melt on you. (Dw though she doesn’t soak into your clothes though)
AND YEAH COLORED MAGIC YAY!! Purple magic never gets talked about, so I thought it’d be cool to do something with it~ I really had to bend my brain to make some of those connections though sjsksjhs
Ehehehe~ THANK YOU
Yeeeeaaah that is because I have been in therapy for so many years. Channeling my inner therapist to analyze my own frustrations with myself and what I see a lot of other people struggle with. I also sent my therapist a link to this fic sksndjsjs so Alisa if you’re reading this hi
BUT ANYWAY THANK YOU I’M GLAD YOU THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD!! Tbh I was pretty proud of it myself
THANK YOU, I DID HAVE A NICE MEAL!
SNSJDNSJKSHDH I KNOW THAT LINE CRACKED ME UP TO WRITE! Mostly bc my friend says stuff like that CONSTANTLY, it’s so funny. It’s a good thing I didn’t work her “I want man like a pancake… a pan like a mancake” into this chapter. Though on second thought I should have, that would have been really funny. (Even though to this day none of us (her included) are actually sure what it meant when she said it…)
AAAAA THANK YOU YOU’RE SO KIND
But this is actually the main reason I made this post!! (I have to resist the urge to make this kind of post with screenshots of all the nice tags whenever anybody reblogs my stuff. Every single time. I just want everyone to know I see them, always, and roll around on the floor happily.) ANYWAY!
That line is actually more important than it seems, I’m glad it stuck out to you!!! It references a few different things, one of which hasn’t happened yet. But the biggest immediate references are actually…
And
She associates the crystals on the ceiling of Waterfall, the “stars,” with the feeling of home, and of comfort, of love. They make her feel safe. In part because of what she believes about what happens to a monster after they die, which she explains to Alphys, and so she believes she can sense her parents’ magic in them; in part because her parents loved the stars (and named her after them); and in part because the ceiling stars are constant. She actually does know them well enough to navigate home if she gets turned around in the winding caves there. If she were ever to get lost… she would use the stars to show the way.
Her subconsciously beginning to associate Gaster’s blue magic and glowing eyes with the same feelings of safety and comfort, of belonging, of home, is a marker of their deepening relationship. Whether the black rock represents the darkness of the teleport, with his eyes/magic being the unmoving (read: “steadfast,” “trustworthy”) guide home, or it simply represents how his glowing eyelights look floating in dark sockets, well. It could go either way, couldn’t it?
THANK YOU SM AS ALWAYS! Honestly maybe I really will start making reaction posts to people’s tags a thing I do… Is it weird? Was this weird???
#There’s actually quite a few lines in the last couple parts that are technically foreshadowing!!#or reference something#seeker talks#long post#⁂posting#⁂#asteri#seeker oc#I HOPE THIS WASN’T WEIRD TO DO
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let's chit chat [230206] posieve insta live
summary: in which eve spends some time talking to MIDZY
set: 6 february 2023
warnings: none that i can think of
an: gif is mine. feedback and reblogs are much appreciated 💘
eve's masterlist // live broadcasts
“hi guys! its me.”
she waved to the camera
“where am i? at my parents house. i came to visit them and they keep spoiling me. i don't know if it’s because i’m their youngest child, or if it’s because i finished my MCing schedule”
her dad spoke up and said it's the former
“anyways i wanted to come here and just talk to you. i feel like it’s been forever since my last live stream, so here i am.”
jazz hands !!!
comment: how is spanish learning going?
“It’s so hard 😕 but im enjoying it. we should go to spain for the tour so i can show off my skills”
comment: what did you do for your last day as MC?
“i went to watch puss in boots with my team. and we had a mini party after the broadcast. stray kids’ minho oppa came to it. we ate cake and just talked”
comment: favourite part of being MC?
“meeting people. i got to meet my friends and even make new friends which was really nice. and because im so busy a lot of the time, i didn’t have to stress about not seeing my friends because whenever they had comebacks theyd be in my domain”
comment: i’m going to miss you next week saturday
“i’m also going to miss being there. i meant everything i said in my speech, thank you sooooooo much MIDZY for supporting me. when my replacement is announced, i hope you will be mature and send them support as well”
she continued answering questions and just talking with fans
“after this, my dad is going to teach me how to change a car tire.”
she read more questions
“yes! kibum oppa is gonna have a comeback and i wont be able to interview him ☹️ hopefully i can convince them to let me be a special MC”
the way she loved being an MC 🥺
“should i MC whenever i feel like it? just call and ask if i can MC for the day? my dad is shaking his head no”
papa kim: you should rest
she became the poutiest girl
“fine. i will. MIDZY, you see how i’m a good daughter? i listen nicely even though i don’t want to”
comment: what do you want to do this year?
“i want to go on a vacation with the members. i don’t think we’ve ever gone on a real vacation together. we’ve only gone when filming content so i want to go somewhere with them. even if it’s just camping, i think that would be very fun”
after talking with fans and discussing if mint choco was nice (it wasnt) it was time to end the live
“omo! It’s already been fifty minutes. i’m going to go now so my dad can teach me how to change my tire because it looks like the sun is about to start setting. bye, MIDZY. i’ll see you next time!”
tagging: @seolboba // @ateezivy // @ateezjuliet // @cafemilk-tea // @smartgirlsattheparty
©️ kim nabi
#itzy 6th member#itzy added member#itzy additional member#itzy member au#kpop added member#kpop addition#kpop oc#kim nabi#eve kim#itzy eve#eve.insta#eve.vlive
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Welcome to tumblr now what...
Hi, I wrote this up for my cousin because she’s never used any platform, but since a lot of twitter users are coming to tumblr, I thought I would share as someone that has been here... way too long. This blog might only be a year old, but i lived through tumblarity. both times. ugh.
cause i will use this interchangeably and forget to clarify, tumblr dash (short for dashboard) is more or less the same as twitter feed.
likes - these are a thumbs up. A nice little ‘hey this post is cool!’ or ‘i agree with this post.’ users can elect in settings to have their likes visibly on their page, meaning when you go to their actual tumblr, theres a link to liked posts. however, i have always disabled this in the same vein that none of you will ever see my ao3 history. if you get a like, you’ll get notified, but that’s all it really does in the grand scheme of things.
reblogs - if theres a post you want to share, reblog it. reblogging it puts it on the dash (feed) of anyone that follows you. tumblr does have a setting to see popular posts, ‘in your orbit,’ or ‘for you’ as in things it thinks you may like. it has a setting for recommended posts into your feed. i, and mostly everyone i know, disable these features and rely solely on their dash. so assume if you’re reblogging this post, you’re sharing it to make sure the people that follow you also see it. if no one reblogs this post, then only the 150 people that follow me will see it and it will die. which is totally cool. im rambling all over this shit and forgot what capital letters are. its probably half wrong anyways.
some people will say always reblog instead of like. i think its give or take. it depends on what you like, what you want to share, you’re weird taste in shit you want people to know about and not know. if you reblog, you will make sure more people see something wonderful and its a really lovely and free way to help writers, artists, etc. spread their art.
commenting on a reblog - its not necessary. I probably do it once in a blue moon these days. adding a comment in your reblog is like jumping into the conversation. usually i reserve this for things that are important and want others to build on as well. or continue the shitpost cause i like to think im funny sometimes. if its something like my bullshit commentary that really does not apply to anything in the post or i dont want spread on everyone’s dash as they go on to reblog it, i write it in the tags. for example, please reblog this and add anything i missed that helps you navigate tumblr. write in the tag if you think its bullshit and i should delete.
replies - replies were made because when they didn’t exist, people would have ‘dash conversations’ by reblogging one post over and over and over and over again. it would be a post of 50+ posts of two people having a conversation and about things like is it red or blood orange. this was especially awful in rp when sometimes posts would only be a few sentences asking ‘hey whats up how are you.’ so use a reply if you want to tell the original poster something, but youre not adding onto the post. a good reply to this post would be a ‘thanks for posting this’ but a good reblog with a comment would be ‘i agree, but also you forgot this important bit!’
something different than twitter (i think???) - your replies do not just show up on someone’s dash. they have to click the little word bubble on the post to read them.
tagging - tagging someone with an @ will give them a notification that you mentioned them in your post. you can also tag in replies. you don’t need to tag the original poster in a reply because they will get a notif that says ‘___ replied to your post.’ my brain is fuzzy here, but i believe if you put a reply on a post that is a reblog, both the current poster/reblogger and the original poster will get notifs. i only say this cause some people get annoyed by too much tagging, but as someone that doesnt give a shit, just always tag me. tumblr eats shit or doesnt work sometimes, so just blow up my notifs.
asks/submit - some people enable you to ask or submit posts. when they answer the ask or approve the submission, it will end up as a post on their dash. if the ask is not anon, they can also reply privately. a lot of people do not allow anons these days because while tumblr is one of the better social medias ive encountered, there are still some assholes that like to send hate anons. and i will say this for the people skimming this - ASKS GET EATEN. aka they disappear from asks boxes or don’t even show up. if someone says they didn’t get it, there’s probably like an 80% chance they are not lying. there’s a 20% chance they are and don’t want to answer it but like that’s their choice too.
messaging - for the new kids, this is DMing. for the cool kids in back, this feature was enabled cause aol took aim away from us. this caused a huge panic of how do we privately talk to our friends since while replies are okay for convos, anyone can see them and tbh can get cumbersome for longer communication. i use this feature a lot to send my friends posts that i need to make sure they see. maybe its not my sort of content id reblog, but i know for a sure thing they will love it, so im passing it along for them to reblog, laugh at, tell me im an asshole cause its a meme making fun of them, etc.
ask games - sometimes people reblog posts that say SEND ME A NUMBER and theres a list of numbered questions. as i grew up here in roleplay, i was taught it was good tumblr etiquette to always send numbers to the person you reblogged from. I was also taught just to send numbers if you see them cause you’re cultivating friendships here and maybe you don’t know the person, but TRUST ME, they will love and appreciate you took the time to get to know them just a little. its not hard to send 1-5 and then fuck off but it will give them something fun to do and maybe make their entire day so.. send the numbers.
WHAT YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO: who interacts with your posts a lot. do you see the same username liking your things? does the person reply a lot. FOLLOW THEM! reply to their posts! fangirl from afar and send a shy ask saying hi i love you. propose on the dash. answer their questions. become FRIENDS. we’re all the weird kids here so don’t worry, we love you already.
WHAT NOT TO DO: NEVER STEAL POSTS OR CONTENT. this means, you see a pretty piece of art- reblog it. do not right click, copy link to image, and make your own post. love a passage someone wrote? see a HILARIOUS joke? do not copy and paste it into your own post. If you feel in someway you NEED to do this, contact the original poster, ask permission and how they want to be credited. you might have to link to their tumblr, you might have to link to their tumblr, ig, ao3, website, mom’s best friends snapchat, whatever... you listen to how they want to be credited and respect it. and if they say no? go reblog it and sit down. this is the same how you would never copy and paste someone’s tweet and say it as your own. or would you???? is that a thing??? maybe i shouldn’t be helping you come here...
ALSO, JUST LIKE AO3, NOTES MEAN NOTHING. a lot of notes does not mean its a great post. Something can have 500 notes and its two friends shitposting ‘hi’ back and forth in the replies 250 times each. and yes, this has happened before and will happen again because this is a hellscape.
crabs/april fools/tumblarity/fonts and colors/xkit - you know how in YOU they have those like seven totems of living in LA? same concept except when you understand it all, you’re cursed to live here forever. you’re welcome.
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please expand, add to this, tell me im wrong, tell me to get off tiktok cause i need to stop yelling at children to let me love my favorite ships idc what canon says.
the good news is, if you think you’re doing it wrong, then youre using tumblr right. people might say don’t use it like a diary, but you bet ill write a long ass post venting about my depression and/or that my sock has a hole in the toe. people say posts have to have content and length... brevity is the soul of wit or whatever and i love a good shitpost and i will reblog a post that is legit ‘wish i could pet a dog today.’
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If you could give a single piece of advice to new people in the roleplay community, what would it be?
i see you've sent this to a few others nonny : twiliae's post is v good & so is puxrlunae's . i haven't seen others on my dash at the time of writing ( tho i can guess other ppl have been asked but idk lol ) but imma try not to duplicate what they said but / shrug
i'd recommend learning when you do need to stay in your own lane & have some critical thinking . don't push yourself into drama cause the rpc says you just have to stay informed & don't believe everything you see . i've seen a callout where they screamed that the person the callout was about was transphobic cause they used the wrong pronoun for a muse ..........in a whole roleplay where they than used the correct pronoun & it was simply a mistype in one or two places . but the callout post highlighted the wrong pronoun use to make sure you believed them & not the would-be offender & people are quick to the gun . this wasn't in the zelda rpc nor any connected one & was years ago so i don't remember anything beyond it was so shitty to bend the truth . like maybe english was their second language so they got confused or forgot or maybe someone writes the same muse with different pronouns ?? idk
sometimes it's better to just turn around & go back to writing ur little doll kissing ur friends doll lol
this is why my rules states this :
i do read the callout posts but i reserve the right to my own opinion that may differ from yours . please do not come to me if someone i am writing with has a callout post unless they have done something illegal ( child grooming , abuse , major harm , ect )
it's not so much my own opinion in the way of " oh i don't think what they did was wrong ✨ " & more of " does this callout have any weight ? " & sometimes i find that no , no it does not .
beyond that idk ... write for urself , be nice to others . you don't have to have fancy graphics to special formatting you just need to follow common courtesy . you want fun questions & starters you gotta also send them to others . tag ur triggers . don't reblog threads if they aren't for you & enjoy your time here because its a hobby !! don't stress if you feel like your writing isn't the best ⸺ you will only improve the more you write & soon you'll find yourself writing some really sexy threads with amazing friends <;3
also !!!!! you can find resource blogs that have posts about what you need to know or what might be helpful if you're super new & find xkit weird ( i had such a hard time figuring out xkit vs new xkit vs xkit rewritten omg but resource blogs helped a lot ) or don't get what reblog karma is or other little things like that . some even have templates for free or good prices ! i'll list a few that i follow & use still :
poohsources , rpclefairy , soulrph , & plenty more are here ! just search some tags like rp resources , rph , carrd templates , ect ! you're bound to find the help ur looking for !
anyway this isn't a single thing !!!!!!! i just went off !!!!! i event trimmed some of the advice cause it was repeating what other ppl said but oops lol hope this helps !!!
#⸻ OOC : answered ✦ im going by the seat of my pants ˎˊ˗#( idk if ur new or this was like ..... a thought experiment ?? but eh it might help someone lol )
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"one of these" im feeling chatty, and also we're new mutuals, so let's do all those little ask things!
what's your favorite animal? :3c
i followed you cause i noticed you interacting with Abram and i was like "oh this person seems fun" and i rotated the thought of followin for... several weeks? and then was like "yea let's goooo"
i am currently thinking about my OC Procyon <3
idk if this is considered a compliment but your reactions to my info dumps fill me with glee (๑˃ᴗ˂)
ocean or outer space?
i am debating if i should self reblog my original works on a more frequent basis cause sometimes folks don't realize i post my stuff and they wanna read it... thoughts?
everything about me is an open secret alxhskdbsk
currently im associating you with yr and slowly building connections to Australia, and i have a few Australia related info dumps but the thing about that is ya gotta not dump them all at once... so know that i am chilling for opportunities
okie this is a long ask, oop;;
Hoohoohoo this is a very welcome long ask >:))
Favourite animal: I don't really have a specific favourite animal anymore tbh, but I do particularly like fish (as a general thing, but I'm thinking of comet goldfish - i very much hope to get some when I get a job :>), giraffes, foxes, cats, birds (as a very general thing again, but noisy miners stand out to me. they are little bastard bullies that annoy every other bird and animal but their little FACES. their faces you do not understand they are so adorable. there are some nesting on our side garden thing and so one day one kept repeatedly banging headfirst into the window,, we thought it was at my cat first. she was loving the bird show). I used to loveee foxes so much, they were my absolute favourite animal for ages!!
Why you followed me: Oho yes that's cool!! I saw you and Abram interact a few times so I assumed that was our mutual.. mutual?? connection?? well anyway that is very nice :>>
Currently thinking about: oo i like the name Procyon!! Is it pronounced prock-yon or does the "cy" blend together like in cyan, to make pro-syon? Or another way?? Either way very cool <33
Compliment: hoohoo well I take any positive perceptions of myself as compliments, and I'm glad that you appreciate my appreciation :>> but yes your tags are always so interesting to read!! Either cool info or a time that you got into a Situation
Ocean or outer space: Ocean, by far. In terms of exploration, it's right here!! May as well discover all the uncharted ocean before expanding to the rest of the solar system, no?? And for personal interest, I find the ocean and its life very cool. Immensely terrifying, especially considering the fact I can hardly swim, but very cool. (about the hardly swimming thing - I did take lessons, but they were more of an initial getting over the fear of water thing. Then I just never got the hang of freestyle at all, my body just doesn't stay up when I go to take a breath. Maybe that has to do with the burning-sinuses-and-hasn't-seen-the-surface-in-several-eons level of desperation I take a breath with, but I digress. So my swimming proficiency ends at doggy paddle. I tend to avoid water)
My thoughts: don't be scared to self-reblog if it's something you want other people to see!! And if there are people who want to see it, you could ask if they want to be tagged in future posts??
Open book: hah me too tbh, I am struck with the urge to share every single thing I have experienced in the face of crushing dread that it will be erased from my memory unless I do,, so I too have few secrets.
Associations: yr makes a lot of sense, and Australia! Yes! Well in case you haven't already figured it out, i am very much appreciative and interested in any and all of your info dumps, so feel free share to any time >:)) I could do with more information about Australia tbh, i feel that I take much of my surroundings for granted. But it's hard to romanticise familiar surroundings, right?? One random cool thing I like is that one of the peninsulas has Canadian rocks from before continental drift
The long ask was very much welcome, so here's my long post in response >:)) thank you for sending it in Milo!! Also fun fact, there is a very popular drink here called Milo. I'm pretty sure it's not a thing overseas?? But disregard this if it is lmfao. Well Milo is this chocolate powdery stuff that you add to milk and it tastes great, so I associate your name with that!
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oh god I tried in every way to reblog the newest godmaker chapter and leave some nice tags, but tumblr just doesn't let me ;u; so I guess I'll send this message instead bc I have to let you know that you put out a hit on me in the form of this chapter.
there's something so magnetic about getou in this fic, how is it that he barely appears but it makes me crazy when he does?? you're sooo good at writing him it's insane!! but that doesn't mean I'm not totally here for readers and gojo's relationship. I just love toxic relationships sooo much and the way they're so possessive of each other?? that's the good shit. bc toxic doesn't always have to mean bad I guess? idk they kinda remind me of this quote from one of my favorite books, deathless
"A marriage is a private thing. It has its own wild laws, and secret histories, and savage acts, and what passes between married people is incomprehensible to outsiders. We look terrible to you, and severe, and you see our blood flying, but what we carry between us is hard-won, and we made it just as we wished it to be, just the color, just the shape."
idk if this makes sense and idk where this story is going to go but yeah, her and gojo remind me of this.
and then we get to this part after the wedding and??? ummm??? why did I relate a little too much with reader how she feels about intimacy and pleasure?? I had to take several breaks reading this part.
gojo making her vow to put megumi and tsumiki first had me in awe!! I thought she was gonna weasel her way out again but nope, this really happened. I sure hope nothing is going to come of it :'))) even if she says there is no future where she would have to choose, I have a theory that at some point something might happen that is not supposed to in the version of the future she has created and she's going to freak. but that's just my theory!!
about songs, I can also be really meticulous about my playlists, and I think every you every me from placebo is a super fitting song for reader and gojo
"All alone in space and time, there's nothing here but what here's mine
Something borrowed, something blue
Every me and every you"
I'm super excited for the next parts, thanks so much for writing this cielo!!
first of all tumblr the worst especially for big huge chapters like the previous ones....i had a feeling it would crash on ppl 💔 but gosh THANK YOU for coming to my ask box and leaving your thoughts anyways?? for taking the time to do that?? it is so greatly appreciated 💕
getou is my siren song. i can't write him into any fics he WILL take the spotlight it is so horrible of him. he belongs isolated in his own fics. honestly i could write extensively ab godmaker!reader and getou and their relationship. but its not ab them!!
okay also i have indeed read deathless but it was awhile ago so i don't remember that particular quote but it certainly fits! Marriage is so. strange indeed. i have many thoughts on it. but that is exactly what i was sorta going for with gojo and the reader! i think they certainly are the only two that can understand each other in this way. i don't think anyone else in the world could.
and listen FELT. intimacy is HARD. idk. i really wanted this reader to Not be in control for once. or not feel in control for once. i wanted to strip this reader a little. and intimacy tends to do that! intimacy is certainly something to Wrestle With.
i cannot speak to your theory much without revealing anything! i will say. i think gojo's interlude will reveal a touch more about what he's been up to. what he thinks. i will not say anything else!! 🤐
also!! this song!!! gosh the lyrics are SOOOO fitting for them. absolutely the idea of like...this is already so bad. you can't change this now. also i think with those two, there was never much of a chance at normalcy. those lyrics you highlighted especially!! it just fits so well!! thank you for this song rec friend!!
i'm excited to share the next parts!! thank you so so much again for reading and taking the time to come share your thoughts!! it means a lot to me!! 💕
#god i love hearing your guys songs for this fic and in general like its so fun#its so fun to see where others minds go to something from your mind you know#that seems like a stoner thought but genuinely it makes me so happy#like HUMAN CONNECTION!#ya know?#anyways#thank you again!!!#i hope your week is going well!#cielo chats!
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was tagged by @rn0na-lizard to do a thing, I appreciate it...!
rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better!
favourite colour: When I was little and for a long time since, I had decided my favourite colour was red, but now I could never say any one colour takes precedence for me over anything else. Every one conveys a sort of different mood or association that I might be feeling more or less at any given time...
But for just what it comes to what I wear, I feel like I’ve been wanting to lean more towards colours that are ‘both subdued and striking’ so like a dark blue or dark green 🤔🌈 There’s this overly expensive green blouse I’ve been eyeing for a long time...
currently reading: I... haven’t read an actual ‘novel’ novel in any language in so many years. I’m so uneducated! 💀 If there’s anything I should be reading right now, its the road rules manual to prepare for my next driving test next month. (I will probably just try to wing it anyway though)
last song: last night on a whim i ended up listening to most of perfect cherry blossom’s soundtrack. doll judgement ~ the girl who played with people’s shapes still rules by the way!!
something that’s not touhou or a touhou doujin song though... one was In Sympathy by Depeche Mode? I dunno anything about this band but this song was reblogged on someone’s tumblr, i gave it one listen and decided to add to my list of things i’ll just listen to regularly to pass time on spotify (I have a lot of these kinds of songs)🎵
last movie: its been a long while too so i’m not sure... When it comes to watcing things in the theater, I think it might have been spiderverse, which i liked but i think i never want to actually physically go to the theater again.
since then i also through other secret means 🤫 watched the last spider-man movie on my computer with my mother.
last series: As in the last tv show? I think it was the bocchi the rock anime, which i liked and have been listening to the songs on spotify too...
Oh, but since finishing that show, i (also on a whim) been rewatching season 1 of elementary (skimming the parts that don’t interest me). That’s one of the shows I watched once a long while ago and will just periodically go back to like its comfort food or something.
sweet, savoury or spicy: um, i thought ‘savoury’ just means a nice ‘full’ taste that envelopes your mouth, so it can coincide fine with either sweet or spicy? either way my answer depends I guess... If I’m having lunch or dinner, i’d probably prefer spicy over sweet. If i’m just snacking during whatever time, i’d prefer sweet.
tea or coffee: tea! I’ve tried a few different flavours and haven’t found a strong preference for any one type of tea yet, but they’ve all been nice. In contrast, I’ve had coffee i think just once in my life and didn’t care for it at all 😑☕
currently working on: improving myself, an eternal project... Every now and then I think to myself that once i accomplsh some arbitrary thing, that’ll be the first step that allows me to change my whole self around. Never quite works out that way!!
for a less abstract answer, I’ve writing touhou fanfiction as usual. Currently working on what I had hoped would be a really quick and simple thing where i just write out backstory ideas i had for Byakuren and Shou that I’d get done in just a few days < I thought this back in the middle of december and haven’t touched it in weeks. Maybe tomorrow... (< I’ve thought ‘maybe tomorrow’ for many days in a row now)
tagging:
uahgh. I’ve always felt odd about tagging people in these kind of things, because wouldnt it be awkward if i did that but they don’t really wanna... I’ll say that if anyone does this because they see my post here, then i’d be happy if you tagged me so i could see o_0!
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Omg belle good thing you know it was me I forgot to put a label😭. And about ur posts not uploading in the tags, i don’t really know how to help with that maybe you just need to refresh tumblr or smth? but I hope that you will still stay in tumblr right? But yeah ur right a lot of writers are complaining about tumblr and its getting really annoying for them too
Anyways pls take care of urself, have a breather, take a nap drink some water then deal with it again okay? I know u work so hard but health always comes first. I luv u belle🫶🏻
-💙
There’s only one person who obsesses over Oliver on my blog- and that’s you. Plus I can tell who is who by language and familiarity. I can’t be fooled that easily tbh (￣∇￣)
I tried refreshing tumblr but it doesn’t seem to work- I sent out emails to support staff and I’m waiting for their reply, I’ve even tried reuploading by deleting the whole fic and then trying again, first it was the links and then it was this. Not to mention I had other weird accounts and harassing messages (and sometimes really kind messages sent to me Ty for those) And other tumblr users are having issues are having issues as well? The only blog I interact with is Zari’s through my moots account (including other accs of my followers as well - but it’s mostly reblogging stuff) and I think she had issues with posting her things too… I will be on tumblr, yeah but I’ll probably be posting more of my things on ao3. On the positive side of things, I can get more solo fics out for characters… hcs is something I write when I get lazy or get guilt tripped into not posting enough. And with ao3 there’s more quality control? Like you get really good quality content on ao3, ofc other authors here are great as well- but the real stuff is on ao3. I don’t read ff here anyway and I’ve nearly stopped reading on ao3 as well, but not completely cause there are some amazing content creators there as well- but tumblr is also getting really annoying cause the algorithms been built in such a way where smut is given more pref than the actual writing (like I get it erotica- fun stuff is fun stuff) but at the same time my writings are more of 90% leaning more towards the plot and 10% leaning towards smut - cause my plot writing is heavy and the smut… well passable. (Haven’t gotten into more serious things so far) and that’s why I think I should move to ao3.
I’ll keep this account running ofc so that I can have better interaction with my anons, but posting wise- it’s getting really sloppy for me here. Not to mention I get followed by…. nude accounts here (literally got one rn on @isagiusagi - my side account). All the time. Ao3? I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem. Ik I sound over dramatic and everything but this is a plot I’ve been working on for 3 months and it’s 7.3k words. Smut part that I had to slog over and the cry over some of the dialogues. Not to mention that on ao3 the maturity labels are more easier to set. On tumblr, the moment I put a maturity label, my work won’t show up on the main tag until I take it off only for it to get flagged down again - yeah tumblr sucks cause of that. Followers and likes never really mattered to me (cause I’m posting for myself and wanna get an opinion out there too regarding characters) and it’s actually nice to see people interacting abt my work with me here and I’ll to keep that going in future as well. As of now, I’ll post more on ao3 since my fics are longer, with more content cause I just think my writing is built for that platform- not to mention the yandere content that going on there
I heart u too blue 🫶🏻
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I posted 1,406 times in 2022
That's 1,406 more posts than 2021!
398 posts created (28%)
1,008 posts reblogged (72%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@xingqiusleftearring
@anotherteenageroninternet
@w4yf1nder
@ataraxyystories
@echo-at-the-pond
I tagged 889 of my posts in 2022
Only 37% of my posts had no tags
#[pages rustling] - 346 posts
#[bulletin board] - 190 posts
#[librarians rambles] - 97 posts
#[zee <;3] - 62 posts
#genshin impact x reader - 58 posts
#genshin impact - 51 posts
#[quinns favs <33] - 47 posts
#genshin x reader - 44 posts
#kazuha x reader - 29 posts
#[wren <;3] - 23 posts
Longest Tag: 88 characters
#also dw your works are hilarious i was in the process of rbing one when i saw this notif
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
slightly massive hallway crush—
genre: romantic fluff
relationships: heizou x shy!reader
synopsis: you have a small hallway crush on this attractive boy you see around the hallways, and you screw up the first opportunity you get to talk to him
cw: reader says a curse word
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135 notes - Posted September 4, 2022
#4
for your mutual requests !!!!! could you do like those military homecomings but its kazuha coming back after the vision hunt decree ? thank you so much for tagging me and for the request <3
ZEE !! hey oh my GOSH i’m so sorry this took forever. i was burnt out for a long time after i wrote my last fic, considering it lowkey flopped 😭😭 (this isn’t self advertisement SHKSH) also UGH WORK- but yeah you said you really liked this idea so i tried making it nice. i hope there’s no mistakes omg. IM SO SORRY IF THERE IS. again sorry for how long it took :((. i really hope you like it !! i might expand on this idea later too hehe. anyway love you so much dear. take care of yourself <33 enjoy!!
the vision hunt decree. the disease that plagued inzuma, hidden under the guise of law and order. it overtook all of inazuma, taking peoples treasures away from them.
for you, it took away your love.
ever since the decree started, kazuha fled from inazuma, from you, from the home and space you both ever so carefully constructed with love. in the process only leaving a small note on your bedside drawer.
the note carried with it small star shaped tear stains and heavy deep folds that signified the opening and refolding of the note countless times. that’s all you had of him. as you read about your lover going on the run to save his life, something pulled at your heart, pride for your lover and what he was doing but a deep grief for all you both had lost. each other. and more.
for a year, you would sneak out of the city to catch a glimpse of your lover, a soft touch on the cheek, a glimmer in your eyes as they met. but nothing more. you forgot how it felt to hear his voice and to melt into it, or to feel his lips pressing into your skin in the softest degree of affection. and you never knew if the day would come where you would once again feel his touch.
everyday without him made the yawning hole in your heart so much deeper, as if each day that passed, the grief that followed burrowed itself into that hole.
but the day did come. the vision hunt decree was lifted. kazuha never explicitly told you he’d be coming home, but you knew. you knew your kazuha would come to you as soon as he could, bringing the smell of sweet maple leaves and home.
he was your home.
a note appeared the next day. your eyes darted over neat elegant lettering, a soft smile coming to your lips.
“i’ll be home tomorrow. 8 am.”
at 7:50 am, you stepped out of your house, your heart bursting with excitement.
at 7:55 am, anxiety filled you as the clock slowly ticked forward, inching closer to the moment you were eagerly awaiting.
at 8:00, you looked around, a smile coming unbidden to your face, your heart feeling like it was going to burst.
at 8:05, a slight uneasiness filled you, as you shifted from one foot to another, shifting your weight as if you could shift your sorrow around.
at 8:30, you blinked away the tears in your eyes, willing your the hole in your heart not to grow larger.
at 10:00 am, you turned around, taking the first step back to your home, the first step back to a definite future without kazuha. soft tears slipped down your cheeks, leaving thin streams of sorrow down your face.
at 10:02 am, two warm arms wrapped around your torso, an out of breath voice hovering above your ear.
“i am so so sorry my dove. i was trying to get home but the ship hit a really rocky patch of sea and it was so horrible you cannot imagine-”
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148 notes - Posted October 26, 2022
#3
three am apologies—
genre ⤍ hurt/ comfort
relationships ⤍ heizou x gn!reader
warnings ⤍ neglect, crying, arguments
a/n ⤍ hi hi everyone!! okay first off the header T^T i couldn’t find a better one that fit. anyway this was a fic request from yuki (@seveninchesfrominsanity hii!!) that can be found here. its not completely what you asked so i’m so sorry but i still hope you like it. :((. anyway hope you enjoy!!
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360 notes - Posted September 24, 2022
#2
BESTIE??? ILYSM pls do xiao and scaramouche cafe au plsplspls idek why CUTE CAFE BARISTA??? GETTING STUCK NEXT TO THEM IN RUSH HOUR COS ALL OTHER SEATS ARE TAKEN??? YES!!!
BESTIE??? ILYT
so okay half your ask confused me so here’s what i did, i made it two parts. scaramouche is getting stuck next to him in rush hour and xiao xiao is cute cafe barista. is that okay hekdjdj?? also i did hcs and small drabble so :D i hope you like yes yes also shout out to hori cause i has no idea what a barista was. i’m not too proud of this so pls pls tell me if you like it :(( take care!!
scaramouche; getting stuck next to him in rush hour
- will stare at you in like discontent if you sit next to him
- but he’ll deal with it
- kind of,,,
- LOWKEY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE LIKE
- “you couldn’t find any other seat?”
- LOUD. SIGHS.
- but you don’t give up talking to him cause you find him interesting
- he kind of is offhandish at first but gives in cause you say something interesting and he’s invested now
-ˋˏ———
a loud sigh interrupted the clacking of your keys, and your fingers stilled as you looked back up at the perpetrator.
“listen i don’t want to be stuck with you either okay?” you mumbled under your breath, half hoping he heard you.
he did.
“nobody asked you to sit here.” his words sliced through the thin air of tension between you two.
you merely scoffed, not willing to put up with his antics and were about to go back to your work when your name was called for your order.
giddy, you got up and retrieved your favorite item from the menu, carefully balancing it in your hands so you didn’t topple and spill it everywhere. it was too precious. you tried to ignore the curious glances your table mate sent you as you settled back into your seat, letting out a decisive hum when everything was set.
“is that,, is that what i think it is?” your eyes flicked to his, a wave of surprise hitting you as you saw the absence of malice in his eyes. before you could answer his question, he continued,
“yeah it is. huh.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?” you asked, a frown slowly starting on your face.
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377 notes - Posted October 1, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
hello quinn :)))
i saw your little ask game and i wanted to join in!! may i request a fic where scara accidentally admits that reader is pretty? and like he gets super flustered? :]
also i know you're doing this because you're worried about your moots' mental health, but make sure you take care of yourself when you're doing all these requests as well! i don't want you to feel pressured so take as long as you need :))
thank you! <3
short a/n;
evie!! hihi!! i’m so happy to see you requesting <33.
unfortunately, this was a prompt i couldn’t expand a ton upon because it’s super simple so i made a drabble kind of thing about it, i hope that’s totally okay!! i hope this makes you happy!! feel free to request sm else if this is too short :p but flustered scara!! shodhdjd he was fun to write i hope it’s in character :3 and thank you so much!! doing this for y’all means so much to me!! your request was simple and so fun to write shkshd THANK YOU!! have fun reading <3
a soft sigh left your chest as your boyfriends arms pulled you closer. gentle warmth blossomed inside you, manifesting in the form of a lazy smile as you looked up at your lover.
a hand came up to your cheek, tucking a short strand of hair behind your ear.
“you’re so pretty.”
you blinked vapidly, convinced your ears weren’t working correctly. then, you questioned if your eyes were working correctly when you saw a bright red blush bloomed on your lovers cheek, putting even the reddest rose to shame.
“huh?” a teasing lilt colored your voice and you drank in your boyfriends reaction, opening a small piece of your heart for it.
he stammered, words tripping each other and cutting each other off. his stream of words was abruptly cut off when he closed his mouth, slowly blinking. his eyes ran from you, looking at everything except for back into your eyes. you watched as his dark blue eyes flicked to the wall as of the beige coloring was now the most fascinating thing he’d ever laid eyes upon.
still not taking his eyes off the wall, he softly mumbled to you, the words slotting themselves into that part of your heart you had opened for this moment.
“i- i don’t take it back. you’re, uh. um. you’re really pretty. beautiful even.”
there’s so many words that could have come out of your mouth at that moment, that could have made the unbearably sweet moment even sweeter, tinging the air with the love that surrounded you two.
instead-
“i think this is the first time you’ve ever said um. or stammered. this is so funn-”
“GET OFF OF ME.”
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819 notes - Posted September 28, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#[pages rustling]#lwkey embarassing this is
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