#anyways guys share your thoughts dont make me talk to a brick wall
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👨🍳# FOODIE👨🍳
#Foodie, Part 2
Summary: Something happening in Easter Hills. Something that effecting everyone under the surface. Could this just be a phase a trick that no one can shack off? Is this something that will pass with another or can we all be heading for destruction
Declaimer: #Foodie has some curse words, blood, making out, and maybe a dead body or 2??. Also, I do have dyslexia who happens to do her own proof reading so be easy with me!!!
A/N:So who would think after doing a love story I go be switching it up to some sci-fi. Let me know what you think or want to be added to the taglist. Or simple to sit my butt down and stop with the dramatics xoxo Tia
MASTER LIST // Previous Chapter (1)
Tagged: @weapinggwillowss @kittykatlow @alagalaska @deansblackbeauty
2 weeks later
My fingers intertwined with his as he locks and kisses them. He doesn’t know I know but he a snuggle monster the reject monster from Sesame Street. Another secret I love it. We haven’t had much time as I will hope with one another. Even though he was back from the war he still was working as deputy while he was home. I pout like a two-year-old who got denied a brand new toy from a toy store. But we made it work. He moves me close as he whispers praise in my ear in his deep voice that makes me shiver a cool chill.
I only had 15 minutes left of my break with him. God how I miss him. After Janet left me teary-eyed in the abandoned hallway apart of me felt I was in old westerns like I was waiting for her around and draw her guy. That night he came over and hold me as I cried into his strong chest hands wrap as far as I could around his broad shoulders. Each night I founded my self there. Even if I was asleep he sneaks in and holds me. Letting me know he was never gonna leave me.
He looks down into my eye out time coming to an end with a bit of sorrow regret. Hopping up so I can reach his face I pepper kiss him with each hop. Watching as his smile spread from ear to ear he loves when I did this be my silly tiny self. Knowing he always be my savior. His eyes were dark like midnight sky but were as bright as the sun. Others wouldn’t see this wouldn’t think he was more than a brick wall but he was more. Just like me more than meets the eye. Each day I’m happy god loves me to bring him to me. Bring me someone that made me feel things I never did before.
“ I gotta go. I was only supposed to drop off another animal to you, baby “ He said in muffled from my lips.
Lending back hold his hands close , “ Yeah but it was you who wanted to start kissing me. I’m only here to basket it all this”.
This was been a familiar thing the last two weeks animals found dead somewhere or sick with some type of rabies. Blood from Mr. Fuzzy Bear only adds to the mystery. Blood work consists of an unfamiliar source. I went anymore I know and even the internet god the internet. After weeks of looking non stop trying to find anything to make me more at ease. NOTHING. I wanted to express this to KP but he only tells me to stop worrying.
“ BABY” KP tickle me under my underarms. I twitch and almost trip. “ I was talking and you did that moody thing you do. Is this Janet” he asked. YES NO I DONT KNOW I rub my forehead gently and peek up at him and nod.
I hate lying most importantly very bad at it. Even though he knew it was more he still allowed it to be, this time.
“ I am taking you out. Show you off. Remind folks who you belong too. Which means I want you to be out this little head of yours. Janet she many things but all with reasoning. Give her time didn’t you say she nods at you other days” KP said. God his voice.
“ Your right probably PMS. Or something. Where we going” I asked looking down. I could hear my name-calling for me and some chaos.
“IAASC I KNOW HE SEXY EYE CANDY BUT GET YOUR ASS IN HERE-OW” Ethan scream out. I giggle and peck his cheek and ran off.
“ I CALL YOU ILY “ I shouted over my shoulder.
He ruffles his thick black hair across his hands as she smirks at me.
“ILY2” He said.
Everything was like walking into the war zone. Ethan was sitting on a chair holding her arm that was gushing blood out and Casey walking back and forth. I swipe up a rabies shot and quickly gave it to her and took her arms into my arms to looks at it. So much blood my arms got painted red. With a finger snap, Casey passes me the 1st aid kit as I dress the wound. Ethan was laughing all while. After thanking Casey ask sending her off for a break treating her like my child even though she was twice my age I gave the tickle me Ethan my attention.
“ You need to go to the hospital. That looks nothing like something seen before where the animal that did it” I asked looking around.
“ Killed it” She said like it was nothing. My eyebrow bent at this as I look her.
“ I need to call KP back he and sheriff can come over and help” I said pulling my phone out my pocket.
“Shit that fucker a bitch. I go okay I go I’m fine I go later. You did everything right by the way. It’s dead. We take it to the trash and that it” She said then look at me finally. I was a mess. To say the least. I bit the corner of my cheek till it bleeds and the iron the mint of him I was chewing on earlier.
Her eyes look glassy and she had a gentle sweat coming down her forehead. Didn’t it bit her not even a half-hour ago? I walk over and grab the bloody towels and help her up to sit down in her office under the AC. Closing the door I look hands it still had traces of her blood on it. I close my eyes and tried to relax. Taking deep breaths I went over to the sink and started to scrum till my hands were bright red from the friction.
“ Is she alright? “ Casey asks poking her head into the exam room. I peak over and back at my hands.
“ Yeah, she huh. Resting. Hey, what even happen that was so like the strange right” I said adding extra words to sound like I wasn’t just obsessing over it.
Casey pulled out a cigarette from her pocket and pluck it in her mouth getting ready to share something.
“ While you were outside smacking lips with Mr fuck for brains and takeout outside” she stops and looks at me.
“ I was upfront talking to Rachel about our lasted book club meeting. And she was talking about this new craze when one of the animals that came in just bounced up to life and start making sounds hissing and shit. Went sideways. The animal was acting all crazy like Bob does when he drank that moonshine and whiskey during October fair of 2003. Anyway, I rushed back and she was swinging at it with a paperweight” she said raking in another inhale of her cigarette. With a few coughs and tap, she looks around before talking some more.
“ You know a lot of shit been happening around here. I have been here all my life sadly and I would know. You know what it is huh?” She said putting her cigarette out with the bottom of her shoe. “ Damn Liberals. Probably put some damn glitter dusk on shit and made folks all crazy “She said as if it was a known fact. Did I not mention she a bit of a blowup doll racist. Try to explain to her just because I look Spanish doesn’t mean I am. Now she always says Ho Lay. Like that means something more than being a bitch. But she Casey and there no one like her.
“ You never know. So where is it now the animal ” I said drying my hands?
“ Out in the front. Sucker ugly mug tosses a blanket over it” Casey said nodding to the front. I nod and look around trying to let everything sit. Before she could walk off I without even thinking grab tight to her arm and pulled her into a hug. My hand ran up and down as I hold her tight.
“ Stay safe. Cas” I said. She chuckled and pat my back before going. I don’t know why I did it. Maybe a part of me knew something was gonna happen. That I was about to head down a steep drop something I will never be able to recover from.
The animal or what was left of it was like Casey said a mess. Scattered with its brains and head mushed. I poke it a few times before taking my pocket knife and stabbing it in the brain just in case. I wasn’t trying to live my life in a horror film. When I took the knife back out there was a strange goo mix with the blood. What the fuck I whisper to myself as I knee down and got closer to look. Just like I thought it was just like Mr. Fuzzy Bear. This was not a dog and this in on ways was a house pet. How strange how can two things so far from one another by going through the same thing. Can it be a generic trait from mammals? Or animals?
Ethan was quiet for the rest of the night. She didn’t move out of her office and when she did she was still sweating and shivering. I knew I promise KP not to worry but I couldn’t.
Me: Promise not to laugh but I have a question
Mi Amore: Haha what up sweetie
Me: Have there been any strange animal behavior or attacks? I know I’m coo-coo 😛😛
Mi Amore: 🤔 idk. Yeah, old man, Nick has been coming about some behavior. But that’s about it. Ur not crazy just crazy beautiful. Y??
Me: Remember when I was called in. Ethan got bite by a stray animal. Just wondering. I miss U 💋 💋 💋
Mi Amore: Never stop. If you promise to stop worrying I keep an eye on it. And stop by to check out on Ethan tonight or tomorrow. Alright babe
Me: Kk thnx KP
Mi Amore: ILY let me know when you get home
Me: ILY2 😘
Old man Nick was crazy still believing that aliens were never in Roswell but here. But his word is not so reliable he is married to his chicken Cheryl. I paced around that night in my room thinking trying not to think. He was right I need to stop worrying. I pulled out my pink paper and my fuzzy pens from my desk and sat on my bed and starting to write. Could me not having Janet be making me acting like an old man Nick, god I hope not. So I did what KP did and after my letter to Janet, I decided to not worry about it.
My feet bounce from one to another as I ran across the neighborhood. I felt a bit of sweat coming from under my lavender purple sports bra and forehead. Hair swinging from left to right right to left as I power through. In theory, if I wanted to I could run my whole town form one end to another. Music blast though my Bluetooth Air Pods. As I turn I reach Bloom Ave I made a quick left and push through till I reach a familiar two-story house at the end of the dead street. It sits back in the dirt a bit with a few stubs in the ground that somehow went perfect with the grey clay outer skeleton with huge windows and white curtains and a bright red wooden door. No cars in the driveway weren’t unfamiliar. Janet's mom or body double was always out at the local bar on some table dancing talking about her glory days. Janet hates that and even though she never told a soul she always fears she becomes that. Be stuck in the middle of nowhere no love and memories of when life was fearless Couldn’t ever be like that I told her as sat back on a black and white blanket sipping on my organic lemonade. She smiles and asks why. Because I will be there no quicksand right. She smiles and nods no quicksand. I wipe my eyes as I came up to the front porch. I knock a few times before I gave up. Hail Mary twisting my neck a bit I look around to the empty street. From the corner of my eye, I could see the shades move. I turn my head around so quickly I got dizzy. I ran towards the window and tap at it. Trying to look in. It was blurry but I can dang sure I saw someone. I called out and bang it a few times. She was not gonna answer. With a exhale I turn and leaned against the window and slide till I was on the ground. I never gave up but this was starting to look like the only thing I could do. Was not doing that stupid drug that big of a deal. More. More I thought about it I got anger mad-sad even. Whipping my eyes with the back of my hand I got up and grab a few rocks. And started hitting the window calling out for her. Pissed I storm in circles across the front door like a madwoman.
" I don't know what wrong but FUCK IT. YOU KNOW I CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOU DOING THIS IS FUCK UP. BECAUSE OF BLOODY DAMN DRUG. YOU PROMISE ME MOON AND STARS WE ARE NOTHING WITHOUT THE OTHER. SO IM NOT LEAVING IF I HAVE TO WRITE TO YOU AND LEAVE A FREAKIN LETTER OR CALL I AM. I KNOW SOMETHING FUCKIN WRONG. WHAT WE ARE YES IT IS COMPLICATED AND NOT WAY OF THINGS BUT I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. THIS SHIT CHILDISH. YOU FUCKIN PROMISE J. They all leave me and you promise you won't" I stumble to my knees and hold onto my face with my hands and cried. I can't hate her even when I wanted to I can't. I cry and cry to the point my sweat and tears were blending into one.
Slowly getting up I look at the house once time. I lost. I lost over something so stupid. Crazy as it is if I could go back knowing what I know I still won't take that duck fuckin drug. I would just fight more so Janet wouldn't.
" No quicksand " I whisper before I walk off in defeat.
At work I didn't move much I just sat there listening to Casey about how Ethan couldn't make it something about going to the urgent care next town over. Casey was pleased because it meant she could leave early. Cleaning up the back exam rooms I recognize the towel Ethan used when she got attack day before. FUCK IT. I Peak before I snoop over to the magnifying glass and cup a piece of the towel and took a look. I tried squeezing my eyes but it wasn't close enough DARN I crushed at myself as I ruffle my hair through my hands. Biting the corner of my lip I look over for something anyway. JACKPOT. I rushed over and bent down to go through old equipment until I found the microscope that I remember Ethan told me about when I first started helping out. Sometimes about it not working right but if there one thing I was work with what you got a type of girl. It is I tap the metal table till the light came on. Grabbing the piece of the towel I place it over and fetch my glasses out my chest pocket and kiss my eyes to the lends. At first, it looks right till I saw a few things in the corner that didn't look quite right. The light kept flicking above me with an annoying buzz. Was it stupid yes but who said I was smart. More I tried to focus louder the buzz got. Till the office phone ring making me jump out my damn skin with a loud final act scream. AHHHH.
After a second to realize it was the phone, I quickly answer it. Hello, I said slightly out of breath. I heard heavy breathing. I repeated my self. Still nothing but heavy breathing. This isn't funny I said about to poop a golden egg. Still, it was heavy breathing. I can't hear you breathing I said looking around second-guessing every life decision I ever made. I gonna hang up I said but something stops me. Three words. No QUICKSAND. My eye widens Janet. I scream into the phone for her a bit excited and more so worried. But all I got was a dial tone I tried to call her but she didn't answer.
Each night around the same time the same message those three words. Of course, I tried to make her say anything else but no. My mind races trying to figure it out till each time I came to the same conclusion, she did not want my help or worst she could not ask for it.
I tap my foot as I look at my planner trying to figure out what to wear for my date with KP today. Strawberry favor purple teddy bear he got me on our first date sat on my lap between my thighs. He did tell me much but just it was a casual date no restaurant this time. We need that a few times when he was in school ones out of town. I liked those I could be anyone I wanted to be even though I could only drink the bottled water and had to bring omg own food. If they didn’t have things like organic apples. The third one we did he told me of his dream ones that included me. I like those a lot. Even after the two years when he went off to the army to take down the bad guys. Each letter you write adventures about life we were gonna have. I told him I didn’t care just wanted him there to hold me and love me. Stupid I know but stuck in a small town you can get caught up in those dreams.
After a few minutes of debating I pick up my feet push and turn around and around in my chair holding the hand of teddy. Hoping off after a few turns around I click on my radio and just decide to go with the flow whatever I was feeling. REMEMBER A DAY BY PINK FLOYD starting to play. I bop my head and shake my hips as I look through my denim.
Remember a day before today
A day when you were young.
Free to play alone with time
Evening never comes.
Toss a blue denim skirt with a beach wave cut on the bottom and round bottoms on the front. I lose myself in the beat that was creeping through my soul. Singing off-key look over my shoulders and pull out short sleeves stripe blue and black with a hint of the orange shirt.
Climb your favourite apple tree
Try to catch the sun
Hide from your little brother’s gun
Dream yourself away
I walk backward as I sang with my teddy in my hands the outro plucking out my round black shades to complete the outfit. Licking my lips I look into the mirror with items place in front to imagine how it would look. Something was messing I look behind and saw one of his old button-ups he left one night he stayed. Taking I deep breath in I look up to my ceiling knowing if things go well maybe I go a step forward. Or maybe not.
He came at exactly at 12 o clock. Rolling up in his 2010 Black Ford Raptor with the music blasting. I hope up without thought ran over as soon as it stops. Before I could get in I saw a few blankets on the passenger seat. Peaking up I saw him staring at me with those intoxicating midnight eyes that match his thick cut on side and swoosh in the front black hair. That I love to tug and play with between my dainty fingers. His smile was so wide that it shows off his perfect pearly whites. Reaching closer I smile into a kiss and I felt a lift as he pulls me in and into his lap. To deepen our kiss the taste of his toothpaste and hint of orange juice he must have had before coming over. Recently he taught me the fun of French kissing and art of a tongue. Pulling his bottom lip with my teeth I glance at him his strong muscular hand grip tight to my thigh.
“ Looks like someone wearing my clothes again” He said rubbing little patterns on my thigh with his index finger.
“ Want me to take it off and give it back. Baby” I asked playfully. With one last glance and shook his head no and tilt his head to look at me.
“ You know it drives me crazy seeing you wear my stuff. Let’s not forget the football jersey incident” he reminded me. It was 1st time I allow him to fell my thigh and butt. Thought alone brought a heat running down my body. Something Janet told me was normal. Playing with his hair I look down at what he was wearing. Black jeans with a red t-shirt an leather jacket.
“ So this the big date. Just sitting in your car. I could have told my parents we were staying for lunch then” I said playing with the collar of his jacket.
He ponders the question for a bit before he started to laugh. Picking me up he helps me over to the passenger seat. Left his right hand on my thigh and drove off with his left hand. After a few minutes, I wrap my hand with his and lean back and look at him as he drives. Few times he will peak over even throwing me a silly face which I then gave a few my own. Got to a light I peak out to the street. Crazy for a Saturday the usual busy with folks at the town square or at the farmer market that would be along Main Street it was pretty much close to deserted. Looking back as we drove off I sat back and ponder about it.
“ Did Bucks say anything about not having his produce today?” I asked.
“ Huh yeah sweetie it was postponed. Something happened to some of his vegetables. Think some kids piss on them. There also that beauty pageant in San Pedro. Took a bus over to watch” He said to bring my hand to kiss.
“ Yea yea I forgot. You know with Ethan gone. I feel like I’m working all alone forgetting the days. Where we going “ I asked.
“ Don’t worry we almost there. Would you put that scarf around your eyes it a surprise? Isaac” he said.
I took the red plaid scarf and wrap it around my eyes. The realization was starting to dawn on me besides our movie dates or him staying with me at night. This was our first date since he came back. Worried wasn’t even the word for it my whole body became snuffled with nerves. My mouth was dry and my neck felt warm.
“ Hey hey you okay,” he asked with a serious tone. I nod yes and hold on to his bicep tight.
“ Sorry just excited. Is all” I whisper holding on.
I didn’t know where I was but I felt the ground being a bit rough against my converse. One hand-grip tight to his other feeling my way. I could feel the moisture from the air and leaves. Before u even lifted the scarf I knew we were at our special hideout in Lover Lane.
Close behind me, he squeezed my shoulders gently as he whispered words of sweet nothing. I felt like Alice walking through wonderland. What if I look clearly through the darkness between the glitter and tiny rainbows I could find mad hatter drinking morning tea or the queen of hearts out by her garden w brush covered in red paint. Endless wonders who will I be would I be Alice full of innocence and wonder, the white rabbit who always running with of anxiety, Chester cat who full of the finger brings back cross and a smile with a bit of darkness inching to come back or maybe just a poor bystander. Most say I could pick out those three or add one in but today I didn’t know.
The blindness of the light brought me back from that rabbit hole of thoughts. Blinking a few times to adjust I saw a blur of trees and blue sky. It was beautiful right in the middle among all the flowers and grass was a big red planet blanket with a wicker basket in the center.
“ Surprise My Ama. Like it” KP said with a huge grind with his hands stretch out as far as possible. I didn’t know tears were coming down till KP came over to kiss them away. I hold his hand tight and kiss his hand before kissing each finger and look deep into his deep space eyes.
“ Did I do something why are you crying?” KP said a bit worried. I felt my lips playing peek a boo with teeth. I wish I knew why I was crying. I don’t even know anymore.
Instead of the truth I pull KP by hand and pull him onto the blanket before I let go and lay across. I curl my finger and motion for him to come over to sit by me. He lay his head on my lap. Right by edge of my skirt and he help right with his head facing my lower stomach. Playing with his hair between my fingers I came close and kiss his forehead gently. He holds me close and mumbles something. Maybe today I’m Alice before she found that hole.
The sun felt so good again my smooth rich terra- cotta skin. My hair was slip to the side taking in the sun raises. I could here KP reading from his old worn-out copy of The Last Man in the background still laying on my lap. He always had a fascination with Pre-American Gothic and an unseen classic from popular authors. Could read anything that was calming may you forget the world around you and drunk of his voice capturing his presence. Once he read House of Leaves to me when we were both in head and sound like a lullaby.
What is there in our nature that is forever urging us on towards pain KP read.
I bent down in front of the book to block any of the words and cup his cheeks in my hands and kiss him. Putting the book beside him he returns the kiss and pulls in deeper and turns me over to he was on top. My head rests on my honey scent shampoo hair. I could smell the woody scent of his Guilty Pour Homme Spray by Gucci he always put on. He moves his hand to crest cheek eyes match my woods brown eye with his. I could feel something hard pressuring against my thigh. With a sigh, I look at him and then down. Once again. As if he could read my thoughts he slowly pulls away.
“ Should probably not continue this before we are both in trouble huh baby?” KP said in his deep chocolate voice. I slowly nod and place my hands against his side and rub it against the pants being the only thing stopping me to go further. I need an escape something to stop my thoughts stop me from jumping face-first onto the hole. I felt moving his hips with movement with my palm. Kiss trace down my neck gently I curve into his touch wanting more. God, he knew how to make this girl feel good. His hands while rough with warn and tares always was gentle. Without thought I let out a sigh as we continue till out nowhere I thought I heard some birds. A lot of birds. Opening my eyes corner of my sight I see a family of birds flying in a flock west of me. I bent my head back as I follow the birds until they disappear. My mind drifts off to where they were going what would they do once they are there.
“ Ama I gotta tell you something alright something very important and I need you to listen can you do that” KP asked as he kisses my neck some more. I nod and mouth yes.
“ You know when I left I thought I was strong I thought I was brave. I wanted to protect you so badly from all evil all darkness I went onto war. But honestly, it’s not what I thought baby. The world we live in full of chaos more I tried to fix it stay in line I found my self missing you thinking what if I stay with you” KP said and continue to kiss me between my chest. Feeling brought old feelings I haven’t felt in more a year ago.
“ This world needs order. And I can’t do it all alone. Many nights I was barley holding thinking of ending my life but I got your letters and face times. If it wasn’t for you I will be lost in this huge empty world. I have been thinking and well what if after you graduate we leave pack all your shit and leave. Nothing d holding us back” KP said. I blink and look at him he stops kissing me and look back up at me with huge night sky eyes. I could hear some strange noises from behind me. KP was still speaking and all I could do was stare at him with drunk haze eyes.
“ Would you run off with me?” KP asks turning to go get up to look at me. No words can describe the look in his eyes passion fear worry lust doubt. Galaxy with million and one thoughts hiding in plain sight. Could I leave and blindly follow him into the unknown future. FUCK YEAH, I WOULD that promised I gave him so long ago.
Before I could say anything everything happens in a flash. The gravity pull was distracted in a minor of seconds. I felt him pushed my down covering me with his chest I look and I could feel something wet. Stumbling back on the blanket my breath gets shorter and I start to feel dizzy my fingertips were numb I felt like the more I tried to breathe more I fell deeper into the darkness. Then were the two muscle arms scooping me up from behind?
“ ISAAC ISSAC AMA AMA BABY BABY LOOK AT ME. Come one before you go into shock “ KP shout out. I look away from the body and at him. His thick finger covers my flushed cheeks. I slowly start to nod and look back at the body.
“ Is he.... is he dead we gotta do -“ I stop as I could see man chest rising a bit he was saying something. I let go and slowly follow the mumble I was a foot away before I felt a hand on my shoulder stopping me. I couldn’t freak out not like before a deep breath in I slowly turn back around.
“ Not safe. Take my phone get services and called for help” KP said in his deep savior voice he does when he serious. I glance back at the body. It gosh out blood to point you couldn’t tell where the actual puncture wound was. Where was it that was gonna be on his death certificate. From where I was it looks like his had puss and some strange black markers. He spoke to me but I did not answer him instead I remain quite till I heard the 911 operator.
“ He Hello. Yes huh, this is huh Amaryllis Isaac Smith I’m with my boyfriend Kindred Phillip” I could hear KP be reaping the word deputy. I nod and look at him he was hovering over the body almost studying it. “ Deputy Sargent Phillip. We are huh mm KP where are we” I stop and scream again where are we.
“ Lover Lane South East entranced a quarter-mile away from the lake. TELL ME THE PEEK A BOO SPOT they will know” He shoot out.
I repeated words word by word what he said. I heard the words by I couldn’t answer.
“Yes, there a man baby hurt. PLEASE HURRY” I said. Placing my hand to the phone I look at KP. “ Is he breathing KP “ I shout out. I couldn’t see one of his hands he was knee down to the body his back facing me. I waited but he didn’t answer just slowly got up and brush his hands on his thighs and grab the phone.
“ He dead. We wait to cops come. Maybe an ambulance my girl she a bit shook up. That’s okay Baby ... Baby” KP asked looking down at me. I couldn’t breathe anymore my hands wrap around his broad shoulder for my dear life my right cheek pushed onto his chest till I could hear his heart. Far away by the now dead body, I saw flames surrounding it. Tears gently fell more flames the closer I pulled into him till my vision was blur form fabric of his shirt. With one last breathe I was free-falling down that hole.
#foodie#scifi#science fiction#gore#blood#smut#short story#food#horror#making out#high school#drug#isolation#Alice In Wonderland#woods#anxiety#aesthetics#moodboard#trippy#janet#kp#isaac#amaryllis#grunge#pale#young adult#fantasy#dark aesthetic
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Parent-Teacher Night
Tagging: Matthew Davidson & Mercedes Jones ( @indiemercedesjones )
When: August 7, 2019
Where: Lewiston Middle School
Notes: Matt’s late to his meeting to talk to James’ 1st grade teacher.
Mercy
Mercedes made her way up the three rows of chairs, placing the name plates down. She had just finished doing most of the meet and greets. She had one last meeting but they seemed to be running late. Walking to her desk she knocked down a stack of papers and bent down to pick it up. Someone knocked on the door. "Come in." She said grabbing the last of the papers before standing fully.
.Matt
Matt thought he’d get out of the station right at 6 but a call that came in at 5 kept in longer than expected and he rushed to the school to get to the whole teacher parent thing set up with James’ first grade teacher. Matt couldn’t get over his son being in first grade and as he hurriedly walked down the hall he felt a giant in there. Matt found the class and went in right when he was greeted by the backside of who he assumed was the teacher. “Hey. Are you Ms. Jones?” He asked as he stood and tried not to find this entertaining.
Mercy
Mercedes nodded moving over to the taller man and extended her hand. "Hi yes I am Mercedes Jones. And you must be Mr. Davidson?" she said taking in his appearance. He was taller than her 5'3 height so it was an adjustment looking up to him when she usually looked down tot he kids. "Nice to meet you. Please have a seat."
Matt
“So...?” He asked asked after their handshake. “Do you prefer Mercedes Jones or am I supposed to call you Ms. Jones? Though I’ve got to admit it makes me want to sing that song.” He delivered this with one of his signature, dimpled smiles. Matt went to a chair and sat, feeling huge in the seat. “Sorry I’m late. Had a fire to put out. Literally.” He settled and leaned forward on this forearms. “Am I the last parent of the night?”
Mercy
"Mercedes is fine, and no thank you no need to sing." His smile wasn' lost on her. "Its okay I was told you would be late. And yes you are. This is just to go over any questions you may have, any needs James might have. So you are a fire fighter?"
Matt
“You sure? I can’t sing with a damn but I do put on one hell of a show.” The thing with Matt was he felt right at home talking to people, even those he just met. “And, I don’t really know what to ask. I did read what you gave out on Monday and it felt pretty straight forward. He seems happy with things so far and likes the kids in his class.” Matt shared and nodded with a smile. “Yeah. Been slinging the ol’ hose for about nine years now.”
Mercy
She looked at him and nodded. "Yeah I am sure. " She said picking up her folder for James. "Yeah well I like to be straight forwards. James is a very bright and fun child. I do see where he gets his sense of humor from though." She nodded. "Well you should come back for career day, I am sure the kids would love to get a look at you in your uniform." She placed her glasses on and smiled. "So I moved James to the Blue reading group. Which is good, he is very advanced for 6 years old, you should be proud."
Matt
What was with this woman? It was like talking to a brick wall that was all business and no joining along. Maybe with the fact she was around kids all day that it must’ve stifled her fun side...”I am proud of him. He’s a good kid and he’s taken over reading stories some time back. He prefers to read them to me but lets me join in whenever he gets too tired but doesn’t want it to end just yet.” Matt thought about the career day and it actually had him grinning. “Do you know when that career days happening? I want to make sure I give notice for it. Maybe see if I can get the guys and the truck over here.”
Mercy
Mercedes nodded. "I can tell. He enjoys music class as well. I know its just the first week but I can pretty much tell when a kid really enjoys learning." She saw him light up and smiled. "Usually its in September. I can give you the date before you leave. We also have the camping trip you might want to participate in. Its just an overnight at the camp grounds but the kids really loved it last year."
Matt
“Has he tried to teach the other kids classic rock songs? I play a lot of that around the house. And awesome. That’s enough time to get the word out.” Matt then realized he had a question. “Have the kids shared what they’ve done for summer? We moved back from Amsterdam and I have pictures he can use to show our time there.” They spent a year and a half there and as much as he enjoyed it, this was home. “Camping, eh? Now that I can get behind.”
Mercy
Mercedes smiled. "Yes, good to know he gets it honestly." She shook her head. "That is next weeks assignment. Pictures are always good. It allows the kids to feel like they were actually there. Though Amsterdam is a very unique place to go too." She handed him the flyer for camp. "I give you enough time so you can take off. "
Matt
“I’ll get the pictures printed by then and let him have fun with picking out which ones he wants to share with the class. His mom moved to Amsterdam a couple years ago and he wanted to be close to her. Not that it did any good because she still hardly saw him.” Too much information? Doesn’t matter, he was still pissed about it. “Thanks, Mercy.” He read over the flyer and knew exactly where this place was. “I went to this camp when I was in 6th grade. I didn’t know it’s still around.”
Mercy
Mercedes nodded and frowned as Matt spoke. "I am so sorry Mr. Davidson. I cant understand parents who dont wanna be around their kids. If I were a mom, nothing in the world would keep me from them." She didnt mean to speak up like that, but absent parents bugged her. "Mercy?" She raised an eyebrow then nodded. "Yeah the kids love it. And it's a great way for parents to bond with their kids."
Matt
He sighed and leaned back on the chair, stretching his leg out some. Damn that felt good, even when this chair felt ready to break under him. “Did I call you that?” He didn’t even realize it and chuckled. “I’ve got a thing of changing people’s names. Shortening them. Guess I did it without thinking.” He rolled his head to the side and looked more at her than he did before. Kind of checking her out but in a subtle way. “How long you’ve been doing this anyway? Can’t be more than a few years. I’d guess this is your first but you seem pretty on top of the show here.”
Mercy
"You did, it's a first I mostly get Cedes." She closed her file, he seemed like he was tired and could use a break he did just come from a fire. "I've been teaching for five years, but I moved here last year. New change and all. And I mean I like to stay busy, it's just me and Chewy so I have more time than some of the other teachers." She stood. "I know you are tired and want to get home to James, so we can cut this short. If you have any questions here." She handed him a paper. "My email and phone number are there. And if I am called or emailed at night I try to answer by the next morning."
Matt
“Cedes, huh? I can see that but Mercy reminds me of Uncle Jesse and I can see myself going that route and possibly annoying with you with that line at some point in the future.” Was he hitting on her? Well.....she is pretty hot and Matt didn’t notice any ring on her finger. “I’m assuming Chewy is a dog or cat and that you’re not actually shacking up with a Wookie. But hey, I’m not one to judge.” His hands went up after he said this and chuckled, acting a damn idiot but still amused by his antics. “Yeah. I should get going. J likes to recap his day while we make dinner together. Thanks for the call. If I do reach out it’ll probably be more by text. It’s easier for me.” He got to his feet and felt wobbly and off balance for a second from being down so long. “Thanks for sticking around to talk.”
Mercy
"Mercedes shook her head. "Uncle Jesse is still hot so I don't mind being called that." She wanted to keep things professional but the image of her dating Chewbacca was too funny. "Chewy is my dog, he's my baby. And don't hate on Wookie love, I heard they give the best cuddles. And text is fine, I don't mind." She stood and when she saw him wobble she went to him holding his shoulders. "You okay?" She looked up to him. "Are you sure the fire didn't mess you up? Do you need to go to the doctors?"
Matt
Matt wanted to get into everything she just said but the reaction she gave, getting on her feet and everything, caused all his focus to land on that instead. “I’m good. That chair wasn’t exactly Matt sized and I hadn’t been down off my feet like that in awhile. But no, no need to rush me to the doctors.” He assured her. “Just seeing you react like that tells me J is in good hands while he’s in your class.”
Mercy
Mercedes nodded. "Yeah, sorry about that. They chairs are pretty much kid friendly and not adult friend, if that makes sense." She smiled, letting him go. "I promise your son will be in great hands! Don't worry. And you are free to come help out anytime you want."
Matt
“You just want me to come babysit the kids while you watch Star Wars.” He said as he laughed. “And I’m still not sure about this Wookie love, but whatever floats your boat there, Mercy.” Matt didn’t bother changing it back to Mercedes. Why should he? “Okay. I think I’ve taken up enough of time tonight. And that’s only because I can hear the floor waxer machine whirring down the hallway.”
Mercy
"Excuse you I will have you know that the kids can watch themselves, I am just a glorified babysitter myself. And don't hate the wookie love boo!" she said with a smile. Looking out the door she nodded. "Yeah he hates it when I stay late. But yeah enjoy your night and say hi to James for me."
Matt
“Then you should put a cardboard cutout of you at the desk and hang out under the actual desk like George Castanza did on Seinfeld. They’ll never know until one of them comes and asks a question. Then they’ll think you’re ignoring them and that’ll create years worth of therapy for that kid.” His damn imagination got ahead of him and he knew it was past time to leave. “Don’t tell me you’re the last one in here? I can at least walk you to your car since you stayed late waiting for my ass.”
Mercy
"Lord I do not want to traumatize the kids." she packed u her bag and slipped it on her shoulder. "Its nothing new I am always late around here." She smiled at him. "Well if you are gonna try and be a gentleman the least I can do is let you."
Matt
“If I was trying to be one I’d have a suit and top hat. Fancy the shit out of it and look like someone straight out of a Jane Austen story. This is just me, doing my Matt thing. And why do you leave so late? I thought teachers usually called it quits around 6.” Matt went to the doorway and walked out to the hall where he looked over the artwork on a bulletin board.
Mercy
Mercedes covered her mouth as a snort came out. "Wow. I can't even believe you said that." She shrugged. "I know they do but most teachers have families to go home too. I like being here, it feels less lonely." She shrugged it off. "Ignore I said that."
Matt
“See. Now you’ve gone and hurt your dog’s feelings. He probably thinks you like being home with him but you’re here instead.” It felt surreal to be in a school after hours. As if he was about to disrupt some ritual the teachers do at night. “But I get it. The nights my parents have James its me and my beer and Netflix. Or Hulu. I like variety.”
Mercy
"He is with the dog walker until I get home, I am not that mean." She locked her door and walked out the building. "Oh so you get your "netflix and chill" on huh? But I use Amazon too."
Matt
“Dog walkers hang out with the dog after they walk them?” Matt’s Silverado was parked on the other side of the building but he’d just hoof it after she left. “Netflix and chill’s when you’ve got someone over.” Matt grinned, winking at her. He needs to stop. “Ah. Prime. I let that go but I heard some shows are worth checking out.”
Mercy
"My neighbor always wanted a dog but her mom won't let her so we worked it out to where she takes care of chewy when I am not there and she gets a dog and gets paid." Did he just wink at her? Was he flirting? No he wasn't she was definitely tired. "I mean I supposed." She reached her car and smiled. "Well thank you, I appreciate you walking me."
Matt
“Almost like you’re co-parenting a dog. That was a real nice thing you did for them. We weren’t allowed pets growing up so I feel that.” He stopped next to a car and did one of those bows and pretending to lift a hat off his head at the same time. “I bid thee a goodnight, fair Ms. Mercedes Jones.”
Mercy
"Yeah well I wanted to make her happy and I did. I love Chewy and this way he gets the best of both worlds." Mat bowed and she smirked. "Why kind sir I do thank thee and wish thee a goodnight as well." She said unlocking her door.
Matt
He laughed, glad she went along with this. Matt walked back a few paces and stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets and waved her off after she backed up and pulled away. Matt knew he skirted a fine line there but it wasn’t his fault his son’s teacher smoking hot. “Not a bad parent teacher conference.” He said to himself as he started the trek to his car. “Wonder what she’ll say if I send a meme as my first text...”
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The People Who Love You [1]
A/N: This is very angsty, there's a lot of abuse!triggers, rape!triggers and the like. I was really in the mood to angst so yeah. Please enjoy at your own risk, triggers and angst ahead. Also, I didn't originally intend for it but its going to be 2 parts because tumblr only allows 100 blocks I guess... I don't know the word count because I'm on mobile, and I'm hoping my keep reading works but sorry if it doesn't. Its un-beta-d, and unedited and un-spell-checked, so all mistakes are mine. Anyways, read on.
"Yeah? Seriously? That's insane. Yeah. Yeah of course! Yeah I'll let him know. Thanks Sam. Yeah, you too. See you in a bit." I hung up the phone feeling happier than i'd been in a long while. Sam had called, asking for help on a werewolf out in Nevada. When he'd asked if I was still with Tyler I assumed thats who he really wanted on the case but I was excited to see them either way.
I walked out into the living room, seeing Tyler on the couch with a beer in hand. Out of reflex I grabbed another and set it next to his feet on the coffee table. He smiled in return.
"You're too good to me," he said, giving me he full attention for a few seconds before turning back to the TV.
"So, uh, Sam Winchester called. He and Dean have a case out in Nevada they wanted our help on. Werewolves. I told them we'd check it out, what do you think?" I asked quietly.
Tyler let out a deep sigh and I turned my eyes to the corner of the coffee table.
"I think," he paused, taking a drink of his beer, "that you should have asked before you went saying yes. And that I don't like those Winchesters, too fucking uptight, and Dean always stares at you." He threw an annoyed look my way before letting out another deep breath and finishing off his beer, getting ready to open the second.
"When do they want me?" He asked, tossing the metal cap onto the table. I watched as it skidded and slid of the edge onto the floor.
"ASAP. I told them we could be out there in a few days," I answered timidly.
Tyler let out another sigh of annoyance.
"Well, go back a bag, we'll leave tomorrow and I don't want to have to wait for your sorry ass to finish up."
I nodded and stood quickly, walking into the back bedroom and shutting the door softly. I let myself smile as I packed, enjoying the thought of seeing old friends again.
- - -
"Tyler, Y/N, good to see you," greeted Dean, pulling me in for a hug that made Tyler frown. Even so, I hugged Sam as well, enjoying their familiar embraces.
"So, where are you guys staying?" Sam asked, hands shoved in his jeans pockets.
"The Historian, on Gibson by the diner," I answered, unable to stop the smile on my face as I spoke.
This only seemed to annoy Tyler further. Quickly he drew an arm around my waist and pulled me to him.
"Yeah, she wanted to make sure we had a good view," he joked, Sam and Dean laughing as I cringed, remembering how upset Tyler was that the neon sign from the diner was visible through our window.
"You know me, only the best," I added.
Everyone laughed but I could feel Tyler's fingers on my ribs like knives.
- - -
"To a hunt well done," Dean toasted, plinking his beer bottle against mine and Sam's. We all drank and shared a small smile, me ignoring the fact that Tyler was dancing with some girl on the dance floor.
"I gotta ask," Sam said suddenly, after several tense moments. "What's with your boyfriend?"
I flicked my eyes momentarily at the girl grinding on him before turning on my stool to face solidly at the bar.
"He's just dancing, its fine," I said monotonely.
Sam and Dean shared a look.
I absent mindedly pulled my flannel sleeves down to cover the hand mark Tyler left from this morning, when I had taken too long to get ready so he gripped me by the elbow and shoved me at the door. My shoulder still stung but I could blame that on the werewolf at least.
"What thhe fuck?" Dean said suddenly. I looked at him oddly until he pointed out a still healing bruise on my sternum, visible with my shirt unbottoned. "What is that, Y/N?"
Nervously I shoved my shirt to the side so it wasnt visible anymore.
"Haven't you ever heard of a hickey, Dean?" I laughed anxiously, sipping my beer and hoping he'd let it go. He didnt.
"That's no hickey. Did he hurt you?" Dean asked seriously, his voice low.
"What?! No! He wouldn't! It... it was my fault. I was carrying the laundry basket and not watching where I was going and he accidentally bumped it into me a little hard. Its nothing," I shrugged it off.
It was from the laundry basket, from when he shoved it at me hard enough to leave a mark. "To remind me of my place," he said.
Sam and Dean just eyed me cautiously as Tyler came back from the dance floor.
"Hey babe, lets go, I'm beat," Tyler said.
I went to argue that i wanted to stay with Sam and Dean but I knew better than to speak out in public.
"Okay. See you guys later," I said, Tyler pulling me quickly away and out of the bar.
He yanked me out into the alley and shoved me against yhe grime covered bricks, pressing kisses to my neck and chest.
"Come on baby, lets do it right here," Tyler said, unbuttoning my flannel quickly.
"Ty, no, lets just go back to the motel," I said, gently pushing at his hands on my body.
"Come on, it'll be hot. You can scream for all the bar to hear," he continued, going for my jeans.
"Ty, I said no, stop it," I said more forcefully, shoving him off me.
He stood a foot away, bewildered for a moment while blood rushed in my ears. Suddenly his hand came fast and heavy against my cheek, knocking my head to the side. I held it in shock as it heated up. Tyler seemed to be gauging my reaction to it which was fear.
He sprung forward again and spun me around, pressing my shoulders against the cold brick as he undid my jeans.
"When I say I want to fuck you, I mean it you dumb prude bitch," he growled against my hair.
I stood, helplessly pressed against the bricks as he yanked my jeans and underwear down and pulled my hips back.
The only indication I gave that I felt him was the shutter as he slid into me. My whole body was numb, the slight rocking the only thing keeping me grounded.
When he was done, he came onto the ground and pushed my hips forward in disgust, making me stumble into the wall.
"Come back when you're ready to be an obedient whore," he spat, pulling up his jeans and walking away.
I felt the shake in my hands as I slowly pulled up my underwear and struggled to button my jeans. I let myself lean against the wall a moment, pressing cold hands over my eyes and smearing tears I didn't know I was making.
I sucked in a deep breath, cleared my face and stared dead ahead. Just another day.
- - -
I realized quickly I didn't want to go back to him so soon. I didn't want to seem that desperate for him. In a spur of the moment I walked to Sam and Dean's motel room, knocking on the door before I remember deciding to. Sam answered.
"Y/N? Whats up?" He asked, voice gentle and slightly tired.
"Hey, sorry to bother you guys, me and Tyler had a little fight so I just wanted to shower here for tonight if thats okay?" I asked timidly.
"Yeah! Yeah sure, whatever you need," Sam replied, letting me in immediately.
Dean was sat up on the bed reading something when he looked up and smiled at me.
"Hey, what're you doing here?" He asked, closing the book to give me his full attention.
"Just need a shower, me and Tyler had a fight," I explained. Dean grinned.
"Finally. You should really dump that douche bag," he commented, standing and walking over to his duffle bag.
"No... we just need ti work some stuff out. I dont know where i'd be without him, he's such a better hunter than me," I said absently, not thinking twice about the words coming out of my mouth.
Sam snorted behind me, Dean sniggered.
"Sure, okay Y/N," Dean said sarcastically.
"Really, I would have died on half my hunts if he hadn't been there," I tried, more to convince myself than them.
"You're ten times the hunter he is, he can barely shoot a sawed-off. But whatever you say, sweetheart. Enjoy your shower," Dean grinned, handing me one of his shirts and a pair of boxers.
As I stood under the steaming hot water and scrubbed my skin raw, I replayed what the boys had said. How could I possibly be a better hunter than him? All he talks about is how much easier it would be for him to do his job if I wasnt around.
I shook off the thought and went back to scrubbing at my thighs viciously.
- - -
I walked out in Dean's oversize Metallica shirt, picking at one of my cuticles, mulling over my options very carefully.
"He hits me sometimes," I mumble, watching Sam and Dean scrunch up their eyebrows before looking at me.
"Huh?"
"Did you say something, sweetheart?"
I turned my eyes up, forcing myself to back eye contact.
"He hits me sometimes," I said again.
I watched as Dean's jaw set and Sam's face turned to stone.
"Not often. I mean, not really anyways. Sometimes its worse than others, especially if he's been drinking," I said, finishing the sentance looking at the ratty carpeting as the nights memories came back.
"Its usually my fault anyways, I take too long, or I forget the laundry, or I get him the wrong beer," I added, trying to justify it in my head again. My face scrunched up as his words came at me as they always do.
"You'd be nothing without me. A dead whore in a ditch somewhere. You're lucky I'm here to teach you."
"He's dead," Dean said simply.
I jumped forward quickly.
"No, dont!" I said, gripping his arm tightly as he stood. "Its fine, I can handle it," I added.
Dean's hand came slowly up to my face and I winced as his fingers ran over the spot where Tyler had slapped me.
"You dont have to," Dean said quietly.
"I love him," I replied, eyes closed. Dean let out a slow breath and stepped back from me.
"Then you better get back to him," he said sharply.
"Dean," Sam interjected, eyebrows creased in disapproval.
"No, if she loves him she can head back to his room, and when he hits her again we'll come pick her up because thats what people who love you do," Dean spoke, eyes sharp and jaw set.
I stared at him a moment longer, my throat tight before I slowly grabbed my things and opened the door. I gave one last glance to Sam whose eyes were wet with unshed tears.
I shut the door behind me and let a few tears of my own fall before I made my way back to Tyler.
- - -
I woke up to the sound of beeping next to my head and throbbing in my ribs. I groaned as I turned my head, my neck stiff and sore as well.
As I looked around at the pale green walls and the bright florescent lights, I recognized the beeping as an EKG.
I panicked, trying desperately to sit up and pull out my IV's until a nurse came in.
"Sweetie, you need to relax, you're pretty banged up," she spoke, gently pushing my shoulder back and readjusting the IV tube on my arm.
I tried to relax, looking up to the ceiling and taking deep breaths to try and stop the tears burning in my eyes.
"Good news is your boyfriend's here, said he was worried when he found out you fell down those stairs. I'll send him up," the nurse spoke kindly, patting my hand before walking out and closing the door behind her.
My throat closed up painfully, tears falling back into my hairline as I thought about Tyler seeing me after what he'd done last night.
#tw: abuse#tw: negativity#tw: rape#please dont read if you're triggered by these#sam x reader#angst#abuse#rape#read at your own risk
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A Boy Named Box - Part Two (2)
KozikxGayMale!Reader
(this is my second time writing this. i had finished this, all done, until my internet crashed and i lost all of it. hopefully, this one will be as good as the lost part.)
(the second part of a request from an anon! where the reader is Juice’s twin brother that moved away from Queens to Charming for a new start and falls for a certain sandy haired son)
also this part is dedicated to @marcus-demitri455 and @samcro-saint99 who were so lovely when i was so heartbroken about this, love you my angels! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
p.s legit thought that this was only going to be 3 parts max but I didn’t factor in the fact that i always get carried away and that this is all so cute that it is consuming me more than i ever thought possible? so this is going to be part 2 of 4 (for now but knowing me i’m going to turn it into a whole McFreakin’ book or some shit)
WARNING: CONTAINS CUTE STUFF
Tig was trying to rile you up, you knew he was, but that didn’t stop you giving him exactly what he wanted. You grabbed him by the front of his kutte and you couldn't give a shit about disrespecting the leather and sons of Anarchy colours when he was disrespecting you like he was. You had had enough of your sexuality being the butt of all of his jokes. You knew he was joking and he didn’t mean it, not really, but that didn’t stop it from offending you. Juan was getting sick of it too but he let you fight your own battles now you were both adults.
“Say that again,” you hissed lowly, “you bastard.”
“I said,” Tig said loudly with a laugh, “I’m not gonna let a gay kid beat me in the ring. Unless you’re scared-”
You bashed him roughly against the brick wall of the work bay while he grappled at your hands and work shirt; trying to get you to release him but his attempts proving fruitless. His eyes showed panic and pain, there was blood running from his nose and down his chin from where you had punched him to try and get him to shut up. Despite the expression on his face, he laughed as you were wrenched away from the older man.
You struggled against Kozik’s grip. He had pulled your arms behind you, almost like a police grip, and was pulling you away. Even though he was strong, he was struggling to do so. Kozik practically threw you into the parking lot then pushed you back by the chest when you had rounded on him to get back to Tig.
“That’s enough!” Chibs commanded from where he had been watching the brawl and walking over to you, “Stop this now. You know he doesn’t mean it!”
“I don’t give a fuck if he means it or not,” you growled at the Scottish man, “I’ve had to deal with that shit all my life. I’m not dealing with it here, get it?”
“Alright, alright,” Chibs sighed with an understanding nod at you before turning to Kozik, “go deal with that dickhead. I’ll get the kid calmed down.”
“I’m not a kid!”
“Yeah? Then stop fucking acting like one!”
He grabbed you by the scruff of the neck and started walking you off but you fought him off. Chibs let go and put his hands up in surrender but followed you anyway. When you cast a glance back, Kozik grinned at you then turned back to go have a look at Tig’s face.
“I’m takin’ bets on a fight night,” Chibs told you and took a drag of his cigarette, “first match is you against him. If you’re willing to clear the air in public.”
“If he’s not scared of losing to a fa-”
“Enough Box! Are you in? I’m sick and tired of you bein’ at each others throats all the time.”
“Yeah,” you spat, “I’m in.”
“Right. 2 weeks time, you and him in the ring then all this gets put to rest. Yeah?”
You had been sleeping peacefully, in a drunk and stoned stupor, snoring away when you were woken up by a voice in your ear.
“Box,” you heard them whisper in your ear, “time to get up.”
When you opened your eyes you saw Kozik stood over your bed, with his arms folded and that stupid grin on his face, you sat up with a gasp and pulled the blankets up over your naked body and stared up at him with wide eyes.
“What the fuck man?!” You shrieked hoarsely, “get out!”
Kozik laughed at your now bright red face but didn’t leave. When he didn’t say anything you shook your head in a ‘what the fuck’ kind of way. You knew you weren’t the most attractive person while you were sleeping, especially after a night of drinking and smoking. You hastily wiped the drool off of your cheek and tried to fix your bedhead.
“You know you snore?” He asked with a laugh.
“Yeah, thanks,” you said with a scoff.
“Get up now; we’re going training.”
“Training?”
“Yeah. I bet $64 on you winning and I’m not gonna get it back with that right hook so get up, get dressed.”
He picked some shorts and a black shirt from a pile of clothes from the pile of clean washing on the desk chair to throw them at you. He then stood looking around and the room that you were sleeping in.
“Uh, kinda naked here bro,” you said and held the blankets tighter to your bare chest, “you wanna leave?”
Kozik smirked, knowing he had already seen everything, but turned to leave anyway. Once the door was shut, you checked the time and groaned, standing up and pulling on the clothes.
“Are you joking?” You asked him as you stormed through to see him sat drinking coffee at the little dining table in the kitchen, “it’s 6-fucking-05 in the morning. What is your problem?”
“Gotta get there before the crowds. Come on. Let’s go, we’re jogging to the gym.”
He stood up and hit you on the bicep as he walked passed you and out the front door. You sighed and followed him, stretching and yawning as you went.
Evidently, you weren’t as fit as you thought you had been. You had been jogging for a total of 10 minutes and you already needed to sit down since you were puffing, panting and sweating profusely. You grabbed the back of Kozik’s shirt and braced yourself on your knees before collapsing on some nearby grass. Your running partner chuckled then same to sit by you. Luckily, it was still morning and reasonably cool out.
You had only been in Charming for about 6 weeks but you were already sick of the heat. You were so used to the chillier, grey weather in Queens and you hadn’t yet acclimatised to it like Juan had but then again, he was always a fan of warmer weather. You used to say he was like a lizard.
“Come on Box,” Kozik groaned once you had caught your breath, “we’ve been sat here for 20 minutes and I actually want to get to work today.”
“I still have to go to work after the gym?” You huffed then rolled onto your side and curled up in a ball when he nodded.
“Stop being a drama queen.”
“Who are you calling queen?” You asked venomously.
“You know I didn’t mean it like that! Fuck you’re grouchy in the morning!”
You sat up to glare at him and saw that he was already stood up and was holding his hand out you to help you up. You sighed in defeat, taking his hand and letting him help you stand and you weren’t sure but maybe he held it for a second too long when you were on your feet. And maybe there was that mischievous glint in his blue eyes but you couldn’t know for sure because as soon as you had thought you had seen it he had turned around to run on ahead of you.
Training with Kozik was simultaneously the toughest but most entertaining thing you had done in your life, kind of. You had got a chance to talk to him properly about everything you had been through and it was nice to open up to somebody that wasn’t Juan. As much as your brother loved you, you knew he was getting fed up of hearing about your ex. He would never say anything to you about it but you could just tell. That twin intuition, you know?
Kozik had listened patiently to your worries while you battered the punching bag. He eased your concerns that the guys hadn’t accepted you as yourself and still just thought of you as one half of The Juice Box, that they all thought you were running away from your past, that they didn’t accept you for your sexuality with them being a biker gang and all.
“You know the guys talk shit but honestly Box... listen to me. They love you, alright? We all do besides, we all got our thoughts on Tig. Nobody gives a fuck if you’re gay. And yeah, you’re Juice’s brother but you’re also Box. We get you’re a different guy all together. Got better hair for a start,” Kozik had told you, ruffling your sweaty hair and making you laugh; diffusing the tense atmosphere you had brought with you that one particular day, “and don’t worry about running from where you came from; we all got something we’re running towards. You know?”
You hadn’t been ashamed to wipe away a few tears when he told you that; you needed to hear that and it meant so much coming from him. But as he patted you comfortingly on the shoulder you couldn’t help wondering what it was that he was running to.
On the plus side, you hadn’t been in better shape for a long time. You were waking up at 6am every morning without needing him to barge into your room and drag you out of bed. He had given you special instructions not to drink, smoke, do drugs for the entire 2 weeks you had been training with him and he had even put you on a special diet. This mostly consisted of you sharing his lunch, normally some kind of salad with lean meat or pasta, while you were working and him bringing you the food for your dinner. It was nice to have someone looking out for you every now and again.
You had a good little routine going too, wake up at 6 then run to the gym with Kozik at 6:30; work out and train until 8 so you were all ready to hit the showers and seeing him in just a towel afterwards was always a bonus, not that you would tell him that of course; he was already big-headed enough.
The buzz around TM and the club house was electric on the day of the fight. Word had got out that Kozik was training you up and teaching you the way that Tig fought so he had enlisted the help of Chibs. This meant that it was no longer just a competition to see who was the better fighter but also who was the better coach too. The animosity and fighting talk was so bad between the two teams that Clay had to schedule the shifts so that neither team was mixed together. You had tried to defend yourselves and say that it was all friendly but Clay was having none of it.
You had also been promoted to “mechanic’s assistant” which essentially meant you were Kozik’s own personal go-fer boy and he was loving it; he was asking you to get any number of different things that he could easily get for himself. Every time you complained about it, he would remind you that Clay was keeping an eye on you to see if you were worth keeping on the team which would make you grumble but kick him the wrench that was about 3 inches away from his hand.
The sound of a motorcycle drew you out of your angry thoughts and you turned to see Juan climbing off of his motorcycle wearing his Sons of Anarchy kutte and sunglasses. He carried himself differently when he was wearing the vest and you kind of wanted one too but you had a feeling that regardless of how accepting they were as people, the other charters and club rules probably wouldn’t allow a gay man into the club. It didn’t stop you craving the sense of belonging that your brother had found with them though.
You were leaning casually against the front of a green dodge charger, beside Kozik as he was under the hood of the car, as you ate the rest of the blonde man’s chicken salad, when Juan came sloping over to you with his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his face. You sent your twin a quizzical look which he returned sarcastically.
“You ready for tonight little brother?” Juan asked you, “you think you’re gonna win?”
“Uh yeah,” You scoffed, stuffing another bite in your mouth, “why? You got no faith in me?”
“Nah, obviously I do. I just mean that Chibs is a good coach, that’s all.”
With that comment, Kozik raised himself from under the hood of the car and stepped in front of you, between you and Juan, with his arms folded and his chest puffed out. Juan tried his best not took look threatened but his small step backwards betrayed his smug face. You peeked over Kozik’s shoulder and smiled around another bite of salad. Your brother looked between you and Kozik with a knowing smile but said nothing, turning to head into the clubhouse.
You knew Juan knew about your teeny tiny, minuscule crush on your fighting coach. Again the twin intuition, but knew better than to call you out on it.
“You wanna pass me that wrench?” Kozik asked you once you had clipped the lid back on his tupperware tub.
He was pointing to a black handled tool in the tool box. All he had to do was bend down and grab it but he really was loving having you as his personal servant. With a sigh, you bent down to grab it and give it to him but he stood with his hand out stretched until you had placed it in his palm but even then he didn’t close his fingers around it.
“I meant the other one, the one next to it,” he said, that mischievous glint back in his eyes.
You sighed and raised your eyebrows at him before grabbing the other wrench and swapping it for the next size down.
“No, the other one,” he grinned.
“Are you fucking kidding?”
“Less of the attitude mister,” he hit you in the chest with the wrench you had just given him before turning back into the car, “Clay is always watching you. You wanna be my butler forever?”
“If I don’t kill you first,” you muttered but turned away when you saw Clay peering at you through the blinds in the office.
“What?”
“Nothing man, just saying how much of an honour it would be.”
“Yeah. That’s what I thought you said.”
You laughed with him and brushed your shoulder against his as you lent under the hood to watch what he was doing, sharing a look with him before he turned back to his work with a smile on his face.
(legit have no idea how to write guys, i’m sorry!!)
#if you're gonna be homophobic you can go and get fucked.#ok?#ok#kozik#herman kozik#kozik imagine#kozik prompts#kozik headcanon#sons of anarchy#sons of anarchy fanfiction#sons of anarchy imagine#sons of anarchy headcanon#sons of anarchy prompts
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Teacher Crush Background
Originally posted March 29th, 2019
Some background on me and A.
I know that like, I haven’t known him for 2 or 3 years like others in the community, but… I dunno I really needed to get my story out because keeping this in is so hard
He started teaching at my high school around late January. He’s small for a guy, like 5′ 5-6″. I’m almost 5′ 10″ so??? theres an issue haha but hes adorable. We’re 6 years apart? Does this even matter? Who knows.
Anyway, he began as our student teacher and I seriously thought that he was such a dork at the beginning. It was an endearing thought, but he seemed so quirky? Which isn’t a bad thing but he had sO MuCH ENERGy. hes a millenial so like he knows all of the memes and vines and omg i just- Yeah. He’s a good teacher and he’s gone through some rough stuff, but he’s just??? Such a wonderful guy.
Eventually, I found out he was a huge nerd? i was just talking about Legend of Zelda with my friend and he just literally like I swear to god, his ears perked up and he was like “Yo were you just talking about Majora’s Mask?” And i was like “Uh wow, yeah i was how tf did you-” “OMG I LITERALLY LOVE THAT GAME SO MUCH ITS MY FAVORITE”
But I guess??? I’ll just like share some times when I really was like “omg i think i have a crush” because why tf not i dunno what the heck im doing
1- This is like 2 weeks in since he’s been teaching us. We were doing an exercise so that we could work on our natural reactions, yeah? You would say a word and the other people in your group would answer with the first word that came to mind. Because in theatre, it’s really difficult to fake a genuine reaction to something and also because improvisation my dudes
But anyhow, I was bored and I just kinda was like “Trauma.” And my friend, E, goes, “PTSD” and then my other friend just yells “TYLER” and A just leaped up and was like “CONCERN?!??!?!” and so he just walked over and we were laughing so hard i could hardly breathe, but he just looked at us, slightly concerned, and my friend made some stupid comment, I cant even remember what it was but i started laughing even harder that i snORTED and he looked at me and I just went bright red and he started laughing SO HARD THAT HE WAS ALMOST CRYING and we finally calmed down and i just kinda mumbled “omg i hate my laugh that was awful” and he just smiled at me and was like “Hey, don’t. it’s real and it’s an awesome laugh. i love it.”
2- This was probably about a month in or so. Middle of February. He started out coming to class dressed like?? Really nice, and hes got long hair so he always wore it in a ponytail. He was in like slacks and dress shirt, tie, etc, etc. I always thought it was kinda cute, but then one day, out of the blue- He shows up to class with his hair down, jeans, sneakers, a zelda shirt and this really nice leather jacket- i swear to god he walked into class and i like glanced up from my sketchbook and had to do a friggin double take??? He looked like a different man??? but he looked so much more comfortable like jeez wow he looked so nice, and now he dresses like this all the time
3- One day after class, i was packing up my stuff, and it was just me and him in the classroom. out of the blue he started coughing really hard and really bad and i like dropped everything and was like “OmG ARE YOU OKAY DO YOU NEED HELP” and he just kinda shook his head, and drank some water. after a minute he turned to me, and was like “No, im ok, im okay” and i was like “okay, but??? are you sure??? that scared me” and he sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose and said “listen, idk if ill tell the rest of the class, but… you cant tell anyone about this because its embarrassing.” and i was here thinking “wtf is it??” and he says “I have Cystic fibrosis (ill refer to this as CF later on in my blog posts at some points).” and i looked at him all weird and was like “what is that” and he tells me “its hard to explain but basically my lungs dont work right and its hard for me to breathe a lot of the time.” and i just “how come ive never heard of it?” He says “Its really rare. its a life threatening disease, and i dont like to tell many people about it because i feel like they treat me like im delicate and fragile, and i dont want to be treated like that. please don’t tell anyone else.” and i smiled softly and nodded. “Okay I won’t. Just… let me know if you need help.” He smiled at me. “Thanks M. Will do. Have a good day.”
4- In late February. We were working on memorising our scenes that we had written and one of the other groups had just finished theirs. it was a very sad scene and he was like “Ouch, right in my feels. good job guys.” And he started walking out of the room, when one of the girls was talking to me and said “yeah, were gonna have her die in the end” and by now, A is out of the room, but i hear like a very soft thumpthumpthumpthump and he runs back into the room and yells “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’VE DONE THIS” and runs out, leaving the rest of us dying of laughter. (another time me and my friend were quoting vines and she goes “say colorado!” and he runs up behind up and just “IM A GIRAFFE”)
We’re really good friends, always talking after class and sharing jokes. He sometimes rants with me after school.
I guess this last one is when I realised I was… almost falling in love with him. I know it sounds so silly, but idk its nice to finally be able to say it.
This was the 1st of March. It was the night we were performing our scenes, and there was like 100-150 people in the audience. I have bad stage fright, but what you need to know is that I had a boyfriend a few years back who killed himself, and sometimes I see people that look like him, and i almost get… triggered?? Idk how to explain it but i break down. Anyway, we were backstage and I was helping one of the groups carry off their props when, for some reason, I looked out into the audience and I froze. Because in my eyes, there was a man sitting there that looked identical to my dead boyfriend. I started to shake, and I dropped the prop I was holding. Luckily the lights were almost completely out, so the audience could hardly see anything. My friend grabbed me and the prop and dragged me off stage. I got out into the hall next to the theatre and i just stood there, like a deer in headlights. the hall was almost completely empty, and my friend was like “are you alright?” i told her i was fine, and that I just needed a minute. she went back into the theatre to watch the other groups perform. i was alone in the hall now, and everything hit me like a brick. i began to get really dizzy and i started to lean against the wall. every time i closed my eyes, all i saw was that man, and i started to sob. i was shaking and i felt like i was going to die. i was already really anxious about our scene, and i was hitting the wall with my fist because i was kinda mad at myself. my boyfriend had been dead for about a year, and i got so upset with myself when i thought about it because i blamed myself for everything and i felt stupid because he’d been gone for so long. my knuckles started to bleed and thats when I heard the backstage door shut and I whipped my head around to see A there. I quickly tried to wipe away my tears and pretend like I was fine. He looked at me, and the rest went as such:
A: “M? What’s the matter? Why are you crying? Are you okay?”
Me: “Yeah, I’m fine. Totally fine. Peachy. I’m great.”
I laughed and I wiped more tears from my eyes, but the salt started to sting my bleeding knuckles. I hissed in pain, and his eyes widened. He grabbed my hand.
A: “M? What… Why are your knuckles bleeding? You’re- You’re crying. You’re obviously not alright.”
I laughed again, shaking my head.
Me: “No. I’m fine.”
A: “Your knuckles are bleeding. You are NOT fine. Please. Tell me. What’s going on?”
I took a deep breath, and I heard the other door open. The other group must’ve been finished with their scene. Some of the other kids began filing out and I tried to make it look like I hadn’t been crying.
“Excuse me?” I heard someone ask.
A and I both turned around. And lo, and behold. That man. was right there. I dont know his name. i know nothing about him. but he was a spitting image of my boyfriend.
“Do you know when (name of my classmate) is performing her scene? She’s my younger sister, and I’ve got to get home soon, but I don’t want to miss it.” He informed us.
I turned around again, trying not to freak out while A told him that they would be on stage soon. The man went back into the theatre, along with my classmates. I was choking back tears and A must’ve noticed.
A: “M? Are you sure you’re okay? You look like a deer in headlights.”
Me: “Who is he? I- I don’t want to see him again, he looks like- like-”
At this point in time, I couldn’t hold much back. I began to cry all over again and A sat me down against the wall. I told him everything. I told him about my boyfriend, the suicide, my anxiety, how I was so scared to get on stage, and that I couldn’t handle seeing that man. I told him all of it.
When I was done, he reached for his shirt collar and pulled out a locket. He opened it, showing it to me.
A: “Do you see her?”
There was a young woman in the photo with A, and they were both laughing.
Me: “She’s pretty. Who is she?”
A: “My sister. She passed away from CF when I was 16. I wear this locket to remind me of her and how she was one of the only people who believed in me, especially when no one else did. Everyday, it keeps me strong, and reminds me that I can go through hard things and make it out alright in the end. Now, I want you to listen closely. First of all, your boyfriend’s suicide was NOT your fault, okay? No matter what. It was his decision, and I know that he wouldn’t want you to spend your entire life blaming yourself for something he chose. Second, you have no reason to be scared on stage. I’ve seen you trying so hard to get your lines memorised and become this character. You’re such an amazing actress and you’ve no reason to feel uneasy. Stage fright is hard. It really is.”
He grabbed my hands at this point.
“But you are AMAZING. And you are going to be so wonderful up there on stage. I have faith in you M.”
I swallowed, and nodded, wiping my eyes. He stood up, and helped me stand up.
A: “Now c’mon. Let’s go see if we can find some bandaids for your hands.”
We both went to the classroom, found some bandaids and cleaned off my hands. When it came time for our scene, he wished me good luck.
For once, I felt confident. I felt like I was alright.
After the entire show was over, we were cleaning up the stage. My friends were waiting outside for me by my car and I went over to A. He set down the prop he was holding and turned to me, smiling.
A: “You were great! I told you that you could do it!”
Me: “Thanks A. I just wanted to let you know that tonight meant a lot to me. I was really upset and anxious, but you made me feel a lot better. You’re a great teacher, and I’m so glad that you’re with us.”
He smiled really big.
A: “Thanks M. That means a lot to me. You have a lot of potential, and I love talking with you. Have a good night.”
I bid him farewell, and since then?
Things have been different. We’re… friends, I suppose. We talk after class more often, we have intellectual discussions over email, we share an emotional bond.
I guess that’s when I really realised I was basically in love with him. He’s one of the only people in my life who I can feel completely comfortable around, someone that I trust with basically everything. He makes me feel special and of worth, and I know it all sounds so silly, but I really adore him.
Thanks for reading this whole big long post, i guess
i really like the tcc community to be honest, even though im remotely new to it.
a lot of people seem really cool
if you ever want to rant to me or just talk, im here to listen!
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week 1: ideas
I collected a series of tweets (I think best in its brevity) made for each of the 3 possible thesis proposals. Through all the proposals the medium is primarily the same: a book. I’m most interested in the book as a format and its intimacy as a medium so in any case I wanted to use it to communicate something personal and intimate, and additionally bind and create the book myself.
01: A fantasy comic focusing on a protagonist’s journey back to his home country and dealing with the cultural repercussions of a political shift. (I’ll throw in the tweets as a paragraph because in retrospect they were pretty funny.)
10 years ago lukar and solace trained together side by side in the army of the (???) and uh they were pretty gay. but in the civil war that resulted among the noble houses of the (???), lukar got thrown into slavery rings and cursed by witch houses to the snake's slow waste, and after fighting out of it he's returned to his home domain (???) to reclaim his rightful inheritance and use the blood of usurpers to free him from his curse. too bad solace is there heading the troops that are the main portion of the army.
usurpers adapting local culture, lukar feeling unworthy and gritting his teeth and fighting anyway, he totally tried to use his relationship with solace to get into it, solace struggling with duty and honor as concepts because he was exiled from his own homeland as a child and the relationship he has with his parents and birth nation...
02: A reflection of my high school mental landscape as a result of various things: Chinese heritage, desire to achieve more than I might be able, centering on the one time I got in a fight with my parents and ran away to hide behind a brick wall for an hour. This idea was also the idea I developed the most, with thumbnails and layouts drawn. (Again, more edgy tweets in paragraph form.)
gifted and talented. those words don't describe me. but they come weighted with some kind of expectation. and i felt like i had to live up to them and when i didn't i was met with ignorance. rejection. disappointment, violently so. the yolk is invisible. be the best. prove them wrong. prove who wrong? them. you owe them you owe them
i couldn't take tests then. i was so used to the glowing yellows of 90s percentiles behind the signs lit up to announce you are entering the housing subdivision, hoping the car lights wouldn't find me in my shame. staring at the sky and the trees and realizing maybe i was just a useless and spoiled teenager throwing tantrums. gifted and talented. it's dumb.
the world is too much. in places where there is motion at day i find comfort at night, empty classrooms and stairwells and empty studios. laundromats where my thoughts are loudest.
two shadows. my thoughts spill out into the sidewalk.where there is emptiness i want to fill those with something me—words, gestures. i feel free. unpressured by anything. it feels good. i can hide among the chaos of city and drown out my own screaming
03: Lastly, a visual memoir of sorts documenting my experience growing up Chinese-American, my alienation from both my heritage, my environment, and even peers who are also perceived to be Chinese. Again. some tweets.
he is chinese. i am chinese. we are chinese. (the image indicates these to be lies.)
incense smells like the family i never knew. it makes me sick.
two identities, competing (hands in a body) for dominance.
chinese american. chinese-american.
i'm tired of people being kind of awful about Cantonese how about you shut the fuck up? imagine feeling like ur chinese experiences aren't validated when ur around chinese people. so: whats it like to not feel like ur heritage isnt as important? whats it like to not feel like the language and food and traditions which yOU FEEL SO PROUD OF and call chinese, not, be, The Majority? whats it like to not feel humiliated because u didn't know anything about chinese culture outside of THE ONE YOU GREW UP WITH OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT CULTURE YADA YOU DIDN'T GROW UP WITH WHY SHOULD YOU BE EXPECTED TO KNOW? whats it like to have chinese people poke n prod and say wow your language is really weird idk the difference between any of the tones? whats it like to have chinese people just not know what damn food ur talking about, the one uve eaten all ur life. chinese people, american people—i dont even belong with a lot of chinese-american people because only small % share similar culture w meto not even fit in and feel strong shared experience with people LIKE you—growing up between china and america—that's Super Fucked
there was some white guy claiming that knowing about chinese culture, wearing chinese clothes, is being chinese—but like. it's not about what you do, it's about who you are. it's just. why do you get to say you're chinese and not have to go through the shittiness of being denied a name and place at every turn. fitting in nowhere bc other things & people fill up more space so you have to shrink yourself until there's no more room for you to breathe
i want to be my own person! not crushed under the weight of what i'm supposed to do (surpass my parents? imploding)
i want also to think abt the idea of owing things to your parents because like. i owe a lot to them obviously (uh my being here, life expenses, college) but the way they gave up on teaching me the chinese way was.... hurtful to both of us.
when i was 11 i was sent to chinese school. (i was humiliated. this person who was humiliated has not left me since.) i always thought my mom would teach me cantonese. and for a while she did. but i guess she gave up. mandarin is easier. but in fact it was the most difficult thing i had ever done, trying to bend my brain around something i had no interest in or connection to.
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i write things like this between Koyol and Sayrus a lot- like, every few days or after anything major or interesting. its how i study Sayrus’ emotional work up, and i love to write Koyol, and how these two talk.
Microsoft Word isnt working so i wrote it on tumblr... figured ‘why not post it?”
welp heres a drabble i wrote tonight yusss
“I find that i am not doing so well.”
The desolate silence of the world around them was broken by Sayrus’ words.
Koyol looks to him. “ah?”
“yeah.”
“what makes you say so?”
a soft, white color falls from the sky around them. It is not snow. It’s nuclear fall out.
“everything, my friend.”
“an example?”
Sayrus sighed, leaning his head back against the mostly dilapidated brick wall behind him. Koyol watches him from his seat at the walls highest still-standing point.
“Must i have specific reasons?”
“...probably not, no. But if you have any?”
“where would i start, i dont even know, kyle.”
“You can start with the first time you broke your sobriety. I believe you were not forced, then, you caved.”
“heheh. Yeah.”
“That’s not much of a failure, my friend. Peer Pressure is a demon, and the anonymous, they plague you with it. I imagine i would have caved, too.”
“they real failure was that i let them think they were helping me.”
“Its hard to tell when they want to help you... i’ve watched you my share of times. its difficult to tell between those who seek to advize you to safety, the ones who advize you to drama, and the ones who are neutral.”
“How much have you watched me lately? I havent been keeping an eye out for you.”
“A lot. I have been watching your progress. Keeping an eye on you, my friend.”
“Watching anyone else?”
“Zacharie.” Koyol offers easily. “I have met him once. i think i may have... proven a poor acquaintance. acting strangely after a... unnerving lapse. It’s not wise to speak to oneself aloud.”
“any consolation, i dont think its all that bad.”
“It is... scary. While upon the earliest of out conversation, he made it best to assure me that... scary looks are okay, he would be uneffective upon him even should it scare his customers some, i- feel as thought it will not apply to strange minds. it is scary and dangerous, you see.”
“yeah, i understand.” Sayrus nodded, humming thoughtfully. “i think i am in the same boat. I- tried to pull him and batter apart. a bad reaction to blue magic. the situation will only grow stranger- not even managed to do what i went there to do yet.” he shrugs, “...perhaps that was not meant to be. didnt know much about having a ‘friend’ anyway.”
“sayrus, dear, you give up so quick. is asking a kiss of someone so bad?”
“Would you ask someone to kiss you, kyle?”
he thinks a moment. “I suppose not, but, im not one for a desiring a kiss.”
“have you even kiss someone? like, full kiss.”
“You’ve kissed me?”
“no- no no, see, i’ve kissed you. have you kissed anyone? gone in for it?” Sayrus is grinning at him.
Koyol chuckles, looking up at the yellow overcast clouds filling the sky above the barren planes stretched in front of them. his voice seems to echo in the dead silence.
“... Ah. I believe i kissed you once, though.”
“when was that?”
“ah, you we’re quite drunk. daring me i would not do it. so i did. as i said- peer pressure is a demon, and i cave as well.”
“Hah, oh, nice. anyone else?”
“...mh, i think only two others.”
He smiled. “How’s a guy live so long, and only ever kiss two people?”
“Romance was never my agenda. suppose it found me twice- that’s more than i ever expected.”
“How’s it feel to kiss a damn drunk?” Sayrus chuckled again, a bit drier. “does it feel as ‘romantic’?”
Koyol scoffed. “Dare i say it was... the safest feeling one.” When Sayrus looks up at him in surprise, Koyol shrugged. “It is... difficult to trust people. I do not think i’ve trusted many people as much as i trusted you, and you were so drunk its not like you had any intentions behind it. Merely thought it was funny.”
“ahah. well, trust it or not, ill let you know now. You’re always safe with me when im not fucking out of my damn mind. Even if im daring you.”
“oh? back at you, my friend. does that mean you will not give up on Zacharie?”
Sayrus groaned. “Its different, kyle. And at this point i dont think he’d want me around much more. Again, its probably meant that way.”
“of all the people you weren't meant to be acquaintances with i cannot see why you place him at the top of that list.”
“i... i dont know, kyle. i dont. im tired.”
“I know, my friend. You wouldnt ask to come to such a quiet world if you were not. You always ask of me for ‘the coolest place you’ve been lately’. Yet you ask for a world with no people. I know you are tired.”
“yeah.”
“You’ve done a lot lately, sayrus. You’ve earned a right to be tired.”
“its hard.”
“you can rest for now. There’s nothing here but us.”
“thats... so simple. just us.”
“yes. for now, my friend. just rest.”
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