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notstinky · 6 months

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TIMING: Sometime recently idk who knows FEATURING: Felix (@recoveringdreamer) & Thea (@notstinky) LOCATION: The Grit Pit SUMMARY: With the help of a mysterious hair growth serum purchased online, Thea is no longer bald! With renewed confidence she accosts the coolest fighter ever (Felix) in the locker room. Unfortunately, there's something that's an ever bigger fan of Felix than Thea...

The Hair was bored. The Hair had tried pinching people during the match, but the imbecilic container of flesh it was attached to wouldn't stop squirming. The Hair demanded entertainment. The Hair was growing and growing minds needed more than just shampoo and conditioner. The Hair would find a way. But the hair liked the transforming cat person. As a cat, they had been covered in hair. The idea was appealing to The Hair. The Hair wanted that for everyone. The Hair would find a way for that too.

“You were so cool out there!” Thea bounced in place, clapping her hands. “When you took out your claws and you went—“ Thea mimicked the actions of Felix, completely with comic book ‘swish’ and Wolverine’s ‘snikt’ sound effects. “You really showed that uh…whatever that thing you were fighting was… But you really showed it who’s in charge!” Thea beamed, technically she wasn’t supposed to be in the locker rooms unless she was cleaning them but if she went around authoritatively with her janitor’s cart, who was going to tell her she wasn’t allowed to talk to Felix? “I, uh, found this by the ring.” Thea reached into her pocket and pulled out a tuft of Felix’s fur. “I don’t know if you want this back to like… super-glue on your fursuit or whatever.”

The Hair twitched at the mention of fur. As the inane conversation between the meat sacks went on, it lengthened down Thea’s back, curious about what mischief it could dip its split-ends into.

—

The fight hadn’t been a particularly hard one, as far as Grit Pit fights went. It was a weeknight, so there was no need to up the stakes to draw in a big crowd, and the Pit didn’t want to ‘waste’ Wildcat by getting the balam injured before the weekend came and brought the more profitable fights with it. Tonight’s ‘work’ had been almost monotonous in a way — slash here, punch there. They asked Felix to play it up for the crowds, and they did the best they could if only to avoid the lecture that would come with disobeying. There were areas where rebelling made little sense; Felix would rather save their energy for the big stuff.

They settled onto the bench in the locker room, pulling their shirt over their head. Senses still enhanced with the jaguar close to the surface, they heard, smelled, felt Thea enter the locker room before she spoke and smiled as they pulled their head through the loose t-shirt. “Hey, thanks,” they replied. They didn’t really like the fighting, but it was nice to have a ‘fan’ when the fan was as kind as Thea. She wasn’t like the people in the stands who cheered when Felix bled on the mat — she was their friend.

Reaching out hesitantly, they took the tuft of fur. “Uh… I don’t really need that back. But I appreciate it, anyway!” In spite of their claim and the fact that they really did have no use for the fur, they tucked it in the pocket of their gym shorts, just to be nice. “Um, did you change your hair? It’s — It looks cool.”

—

“My hair?” A flare of defensiveness ran through Thea, before she remembered that she wasn’t bald anymore—the miracle tonic she bought online had really done wonders! Of course, when she tried to look at the ingredients, it was just a winking face and when she tried to go back to the website, it was gone, but small businesses came and went all the time; such was the woes of capitalism. “Yeah! My friend cut it!” She had cut it a little too much, she wanted to say, but felt bad about it. Cass had done a good job and it was her fault for squirming around on the stool.

But, at the mention of being cool, the hair waved all at once, as if a breeze had swept through the room. The hair was cool. The hair decided that it liked this cat person—no—it loved them. Did they need hair? They could have always used more hair. The hair continued its descent and slithered up towards Felix’s bag.

“Your hair’s pretty cool too,” Thea said, just to be polite. Mostly, it was covered in sweat. “Do you use gel or anything? Actually, when you put on your big cat fursuit, how do you get your fur all silky? Do you shampoo it?” Despite Felix explaining to her that the cat was a real creature they transformed into, Thea didn’t believe it. Rather, she had simply chosen to ignore that it had even been said and move on with her life as though there were no such thing as Lip Balms (she’d purposefully forgotten the word Felix used) or girls that turned into wolves. She thought she was doing a pretty good job of it; denial was her strongest skill.

Meanwhile, the hair decided it enjoyed Felix’s stink. It didn’t have a nose—it was hair—but that didn’t matter. The hair knew good stink. The hair curled into Felix’s bag, spreading itself in the smell.

—

“Well they, uh… They did a really good job,” Felix said, offering Thea a thumbs up. Growing up, one of their sisters had been incredibly self conscious. They remembered how every change to her appearance had seen the entire house holding their breath, waiting to see if she’d fall apart over it. Thea reminded them of her sometimes. Naturally, the inclination to ensure that she was happy with changes to her physical self existed just as much here as they had with Felix’s sister all those years ago.

It wasn’t as if they were lying, though. Thea’s hair did look nice. It was… flowing, somehow, despite the fact that they were indoors and there definitely wasn’t any wind or anything in here. And it seemed like it was… growing? But that couldn’t be right. Hair grew slowly, Felix knew that.

Reaching up, they absently rubbed at their own hair. It was sticking up in every direction the way it always did after a fight, when the mixture of sweat and blood turned it wild. Felix didn’t really know if the shifting had an effect on it or not. Did the jaguar’s ears mess up their hair when their body shifted back into its default state? They tried not to think about it too much. It was a little too weird. Which… might have been why Thea still refused to see the jaguar as anything more than a fursuit. Felix wanted to explain it to her again, wanted to insist that the jaguar was so much more than that, but they were tired, and they didn’t want to overwhelm her.

So, rather than explain again, they only shrugged. Fiddled with the towel around their neck, wrinkled their nose a little. “I just wash it normal.” Felix figured the jaguar got clean when they did, since they shared a body and all. “Uh, normal shampoo. And conditioner.”

—

The socks were especially stinky—deliciously, juicily stinky. They were like little grapes of stink, bursting with stink flavour the more the hair wrapped itself into them. The hair needed to have the socks; the hair wanted to possess that beautiful stench.

“Really?” Thea ‘huh’ed with surprise; she’d thought different materials needed different shampoos. No one dumped Head & Shoulders on a carpet and no one would think of using Pantene on their dog. Well, maybe people used Pantene on their dogs, she didn’t know; she tried not to think about dogs. “But like, are we talking Herbal Essences? OUAI?”—which Thea pronounced as ‘ooh-ey’—“Old Spice? Don’t say Irish Springs. If you say Irish Springs I’m going to lose respect for you.” Thea tried to sniff the air but regretted it the moment she did as a marching band of scents paraded into her nose and shot up into her brain. There was sweat, sour and stale; there was blood, sharp and metallic; and there was the sweet aroma of Bonbar shampoo, her hair’s signature scent. Her hair that was….

Aloft, clutching in its dark tendrils several spherical wads of fabric. Thea squinted. Was that…socks? “Uh…” She turned to Felix, sweating down her face and into her blue jumpsuit. “I think my hair is…I think it’s…” The hair was frozen, the only strands that moved slipped into and around Felix’s socks, writhing in the air like molasses in zero gravity. “Um…” She didn’t know what to say.

—

They could have sworn they saw Thea’s hair moving, but they kept their eyes planted firmly on her face rather than look. It would be silly, wouldn’t it? Her hair moving around on its own. And if she’d just gotten it cut, she was probably self conscious about it, so looking at it — gaping at it — would only make her feel bad. The last thing Felix wanted to do was make her feel bad. They didn’t have a lot of friends, especially not in the Grit Pit. With things as tense as they were with Samir following the blue moon’s Razor/Wildcat showdown, Felix couldn’t really afford to lose any more allies in here.

“Not Irish Springs,” they said quickly, wrinkling their nose. “That stuff smells so weird. Uh, I usually use Dove? It smells nice. And it’s not very expensive, which is good!” Technically, Felix could probably afford expensive, but why spend more money on something if you liked the cheap stuff just fine? They weren’t a big believer in spending money just to spend it the way some people seemed to. “What — What do you use? For your hair, I mean. It really does look…”

Their eyes finally drifted to her hair, and they blinked. It was moving. And Thea saw it, too. She pointed it out, and Felix followed the line of hair down, down, down, all the way to… their gym bag? The hair had Felix’s socks tangled in its ‘grip,’ and the balam blinked. “Is — Is your hair stuck in my socks? I don’t think that’s — they’re dirty. Dirty socks. Your hair’s gonna get dirty, I don’t — I’m sorry, let me…” They leaned down, moving to detangle the hair from the dirty socks in a way that hopefully wouldn’t hurt her.

—

In reality, Thea had no use for knowing what shampoo Felix used, it wasn’t like she was going to switch to their brand and smell her hair and pretend she was as cool as Felix, and that Felix was her best friend, and that they would go and get dairy-free ice cream together and, under those buzzing fluorescent lights, taking spoons from each other’s scoops, they’d discovered that they ordered the same ice cream flavor because they were just so similar; they were both so cool and normal and cool, especially. She wasn’t going to do that because she wasn’t weird, but she did think about it for several seconds longer than any normal person would have. She also imagined Felix in one of those Dove beauty commercials saying “I am beautiful” as the camera zoomed in on their soft hair.

She couldn’t be blamed then, that when she blinked at her floating hair, she thought it was another vivid imagination fuelled by sleep deprivation. Her body ran on coffee and willpower, after all. But Felix could see the hair too, and Felix was touching the hair. Thea stared at the scene in front of her. It was probably a fantasy; any moment now, Felix would turn around and say she was cool, like in all of her best dreams.

The Hair snapped around Felix’s wrist, sharp tendrils cutting into their flesh like metal wire. Those socks belonged to The Hair. It constricted, soaking up Felix’s blood as it wove itself around the socks, piercing the porous, sweaty fabric. It knitted new socks, ones that were equal parts hair and cotton-blend. The new socks dropped to the ground and the hair untangled itself from Felix’s wrists. The children—the socks—rose from the ground, spinning strands to form four appendages: two legs and two arms. From the writhing black cloud of hair still hovering, several balls of hair dropped like stones in a silky avalanche.

At once, the hair-socks and the hair balls lunged at Felix, hoping to merge with their flesh. The hair-socks wanted to be on their feet—wanted to becometheir feet—and the hair balls just wanted to eat Felix—they were simple minded.

—

The hair wrapped around their wrist as they tried to detangle it, and that — oh, that was really tight, wasn’t it? Without thinking, Felix yanked their hand back, wincing when they remembered that this hair was, in fact, attached to Thea’s head. “Sorry!” They yelped, because the hair was tightening, and they were pretty sure it was too soon for their fingers to actually be turning blue due to lack of circulation but they swore they saw it, anyway. They really didn’t want their hand to be cut off by hair. It would be a whole thing, and it would be messy, and they’d probably get in trouble for only having one hand and it sounded like a whole thing, really. Felix yanked again, hand moving faster than his brain. “Sorry! Sorry, I’m — Thea, this is —”

The hair released him. The hair spat out a sock. The sock was made of hair. The hair sock had legs and arms and, oh, there was more than one hair sock, wasn’t that just — wasn’t that perfect? Felix stumbled back as the hair socks moved towards them, eyes wide. Hairballs joined them, the small army moving towards Felix.

And then, they were on him.

Felix let out an undignified yelp, falling backwards over the bench behind them and tumbling to the floor. There was hair in their eyes, in their nose, in their mouth. Curled up around their feet, and — was it biting them? They kicked frantically. “Thea?” Their voice was muffled by the hair. “Thea, uh — I think — I think your hair is killing me? Thea, can you — Can you stop — having — hair?”

—

Stop having hair? Thea almost screamed, the only thing that stopped her was the fact that she wasn’t sure if she’d ever screamed before; what if it sounded bad? What if her scream wasn’t like the girls in the movies moments before they got stabbed? Instead, she pouted. She thought that was a good enough replacement. “I’m not going to be bald again, Felix!” She’d done bald; tried it, didn’t like it, thank you very much but she was going to pass on being bald again. Anyway, if this was all a dream—which it was slowly occurring to her that it might not be—it didn’t matter if Felix died, they’d be totally fine! Right? “Maybe it just wants your fursuit? You have your fursuit around here somewhere, right? I’m sure it just wants to see the fursuit again…” Thea began pulling at lockers, trying to see which ones were unlocked and which housed Felix’s furry alter ego.

The hairballs nibbled on Felix, like rats chewing through a wall to get to the other side, to get to the meat. The Hair knew that it was in love. It wanted to become Felix. The mother cloud, the writhing mass of Thea’s hair—still unfortunately tethered to her head—that birthed the hairballs, began a slow push towards Felix. In its angry black depths was the desire to engulf them, become them, show them the pleasures of hair.

Thea continued to search for a fursuit that didn’t exist.

—

Thea looked upset, and Felix felt a flash of guilt. You couldn’t just tell people not to have hair, it wasn’t polite. But — But they were pretty sure Thea’s hair was killing them. Yeah, actually, they were certain of it. It was in their nose, in their mouth, it was biting them. They could barely breathe, and Thea wasn’t really as concerned as Felix thought she probably ought to be. Did she think they were pretending? “Thea, I need — Please, you gotta —” But she was too busy opening lockers, looking for a fursuit that didn’t exist because it was Felix’s body, not a suit, they were a jaguar and a person and —

Wait. Jaguars had claws.

Feeling another flash of guilt and silently apologizing to Thea, Felix let those claws push through the pads of their fingers, let their hand shift into a paw. They brought the clawed appendage up, slicing through the hair that was the biggest problem currently — the bulk of it attempting to enter their mouth and nose. With their other hand, they tore the hair away. Now able to breathe more freely, they began batting the hairballs away, looking very much like a cat playing with balls of yarn… if the cat was a half-person, half-jaguar hybrid and the balls of yarn were small balls of sentient hair trying to kill them. Totally normal stuff.

—

The Hair recoiled; the large, writhing mass, seemed to lose its luster as its children perished, turning into nothing more than cut strands on the ground. Still, if it could just join with its love, Felix, then perhaps…perhaps…. A world of hair was a glorious thing and The Hair’s mind was unable to move from the image of that jaguar in the ring. All that hair on that lean, muscular, killer body. It continued to move towards Felix, now looming above them.

Thea watched, giving up on her quest to find the fursuit. It was obvious to her now; her hair wouldn’t stop until it had Felix or until Felix used their weirdly sharp nails to cut the hair up. Her gaze flickered to the strands on the ground and she sobbed softly. “Do it,” she said, looking back up. “You have to do it….” Tears continued to rain down her face. “You have to make me bald, Felix.”

—

The hair just kept coming. Less intense now, almost as if it was grieving the loss of the bulk he’d sliced through and the hair balls that had been batted away, but still a problem all the same. Felix held up a clawed hand in a threatening manner, eyes shining gold as a little more of the jaguar came out. Of all the things the beast had ever swooped in to protect them from, this had to be the most… unexpected. The jaguar didn’t know what to make of it any more than Felix did.

Thea was crying, and the guilt swimming in his chest was almost as painful as the threat of whatever this hair was trying to do. “Sorry,” Felix said desperately, swiping at the hair again. “I’m sorry, Thea. I — I can buy you a wig! Or something!” Because they had to keep slicing through the hair as it came, and there was more and more of it on the ground and less and less of it on Thea’s head. At least it seemed to lose its consciousness when it was separated from her head and hit the floor, though whether it was ‘dead’ or not was hard to say.

—

The Hair was dead. Once lustrous strands of black shrivelled into dried piles of pale string--gone was its colour, gone was its hunger. Gone was all that made The Hair.

Thea touched her head, pulling away chunks of pale thread that felt more like twine than hair. Under the fistfuls of dead hair was her pristine, hairless scalp. Heat flushed from her body, leaving nothing but the quivering husk of a girl. “A wig isn’t hair,” she sniffled, knowing in her heart that some wigs were made out of hair and that wasn’t a true statement and she should probably correct herself. She was too sad to bother with it. “It’s okay.” She glanced up at the blurred image of Felix, forcing a grin on her face. “It’s totally okay! It, um, it…”

She wanted to explain that it wasn’t the hair. For a long time she believed that her hair was redeeming; people called it lovely; it made her feel feminine and normal. Girls had hair. Girls like her had hair. Girls like the sort of girl she wanted to be had hair. It wasn’t just the hair. Would Felix understand? It was the fact that nothing in her life ever seemed to go the way it ought to; not even something as silly as her hair. Thea sniffled. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

Dazed, she stumbled to the locker room doors, digging her blunt nails into the wall. She looked back at her friend. “I’m sorry about your socks,” Thea said. “I’m not going to process the fact that you don’t actually have a fursuit and might be part-cat for real because I’m at my limit for traumas right now. Also I’m bald. I’m bald and I’m sorry.” She turned away, tears soaking into her collar. “It’s not your fault I’m the way that I am: bald.” She had more of the magic hair growth formula at home, she reminded herself. Yet, the numbness rattled through her bones. Why? Why was she like this? What was it about life and living that came so easily to cool people like Felix but completely missed her? What was wrong with her? “I’m bald,” she said, answering her question.

The door clicked behind her as she stumbled away.

#thank u 2 bex for making thea bald #twice #bex always delivers #in this case bex delivers baldness #c: felix #writing #s1 #socks

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kabber · 2 years

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i havent told y'all about my personal beef with the Rolling Stone have i

So first thing's first, I'm a fursuit maker. I also make stuff like tails and paws, which i sell on Etsy. Earlier this year there was a general strike due to Etsy's constant raising of seller fees (which was never resolved btw, they're still ridiculous). I, along with a couple other furry artists, were interviewed by the Rolling Stone site, which has in the past made pretty respectful articles about the furry fandom

The resulting article was respectful, informative, and to the point. You can read it HERE! I'm mentioned by name in the first paragraph and I was very excited about that. The person who interviewed immediately let me know that she'd be interested in covering other furry topics if I'd be willing to give her the time of day. I was only semi-interested, but sure, why not.

She asks me about The Bad Guys, y'know, that furrybait movie everyone's been talking about. I was like "hm, haven't seen it myself but it looks cool! I do like that the main character is a suave older gentleman, instead of the little kid oriented characters common with Disney".

Another thing you need to know about me is that, despite the furry fandom's reputation, I am a fairly family friendly artist. Nothing against the adult artists and makers in the fandom, it's just not my scene, and I tend to have a younger audience for my stuff.

So you can imagine my horror when THIS article came out, calling me out by name for something I did not say. You'll notice my name is no longer in the article, because the moment I saw it (THREE DAYS AFTER IT CAME OUT) I immediately contacted the person who'd interviewed me and asked my name to be removed. You''ll also notice someone credited by the name "Seibert". Yep, that's me, with my name spelled wrong lol. They didn't remove that bit but that's not my name so who cares.

Things I said that were quoted:

“The fandom is going wild for it right now,” one digital artist and fursuit maker says of The Bad Guys. “I think what resonated in the fandom is the main character of Mr. Wolf. He’s a suave guy with a fun art style that really appealed to the artists in the fandom.”

Things I was quoted out of context and did NOT say:

The fact that Mr. Wolf is coded as an “older gentleman” — in short, a daddy type — further excited the fandom, says Seibert (see? couldn't even spell my name right).

Anyway I was equal parts angry and laughing. Like, this whole situation was so ridiculous but also I did NOT want my family friendly business associated with that article. Lesson learned, never talk to anyone about the furry fandom.

#kabber contributes to society #furry #the bad guys

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stina-is-a-punk-rocker · 3 years

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disney’s ‘the hunchback of notre dame’, early 2000s kid nostalgia, and other midnight musings

“What the fuck, Stina? I thought this was a blog for book reviews!” you say.

“Books, amongst other things. Hence the -ish suffix,” I say. “And all my mediocre ‘reviews’ are hit-or-miss in terms of engagement, so I’m pretty much free to post whatever the fuck I want.”

I toss my head. My hair whacks me in the face.

The first time I watched Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame was been circa 2006, in the ‘movie room’ of my preschool, huddled around a CRT TV with the rest of my five-year-old classmates. Not much about the film particularly stood out to me at the age.

Fast-forward fifteen years later; I’m cooped up in quarantine, hundreds of thousands of miles away from that first viewing. I’m living my best life, rejoicing in my introverted tendencies and having a laugh at the expense of all the suffering extroverts. I haven’t moved from my bed all day, except for the bare necessities, and I’m bingeing YouTube videos. All is well.

I discovered Lindsay Ellis’s channel quite recently- embarrassingly enough, through her videos on Omegaverse and the whole Addison Cain fiasco. I stumbled down the rabbit-hole of her channel, and here I am, a few dozen videos later, and I find her one on this film.

Which, of course, led me to want to re-watch the film, with the eyes and mind (supposedly) of an adult. And it went far beyond and above my expectations.

The film is dark, much darker than the average Disney film of today- not just thematically, but the graphics too. Except for the first parts with the Festival of Fools and the last scene, the rest seems to have a dark filter put over it all. Obviously, given its themes (I’m pulling these out of my arse; I’m a STEM major and I have zero to no knowledge about film) of freedom and equality, acceptance of those different from us, corruption and lust- all that good shit, in other words- you can’t exactly have sunshine and rainbows. But it’s such a stark contrast from what I’ve been accustomed to from Disney; Frozen has Hans about to decapitate Elsa, but the background remains bright and light; Simba sobbing next to Mufasa’s body in The Lion King is heart-wrenching, but a few scenes later, we have an anthropomorphic meerkat-boar duo singing about eating bugs and farting and all that classy stuff, so it’s not as traumatizing.

The themes are a lot more on-the-nose than a lot of other kids’ movies (forgive me if I err, I am aged and forgetful)- cue la Esmeralda saying, “What do they have against people who are different, anyway?”- you get what’s essentially the same ‘accept others regardless of their differences’, ‘prejudice is bad’ morals from, say, Zootopia, but having given the main characters fursuits makes it less obvious than in this movie.

(Or maybe I’m just a dumbass. I have no elaborate notes for this; I’m high on sugar and deprived of sleep so I might be spewing bullshit.)

Admittedly, the resolution is a bit… unrealistic. The citizens of Paris = sheep, essentially; they go from throwing fruit in Quasimodo’s face because the guards started it, to helping defeat them. Maybe there’s something about mob mentality in there, but I find it hard to believe that people who showed up to watch Esmeralda burn to death were suddenly totally cool with not getting what they didn’t pay for. But then again, this is a Disney movie, and you can’t make kids too cynical too early on. Let them have their innocence and ‘people will be with the heroes in times of peril because humanity is inherently good!’ before they realize that humanity kinda fuckin’ sucks.

The characters are some of the most human from those I’ve seen in Disney (other honorable mentions: the main characters of The Emperor’s New Groove, Moana, Tangled, Anna from Frozen). Quasimodo’s the main character (lol DUH, will I ever say anything not obvious?), and he’s so lovable, but not without flaws- he’s biased against gypsies in the beginning because Frollo’s the literal scum of the earth. To borrow from the K-pop fans’ dictionary: UwU he’s so pure!

Esmeralda sparks a bit of controversy because she’s another POC leading lady from a Disney film of the 90’s (a list including Jasmine, and, sigh- Pocahontas) who’s markedly more sexualized than the white Disney princesses. It’s not something I particularly noticed nor cared about until I saw it being brought up- I mean, the woman shows a bit of cleavage and then dances for a couple of seconds- but. I’m just putting that out there.

She’s an empowering heroine without having to belt in in your face (not me making a dig at Naomi Scott’s Jasmine from the Aladdin live action film), and I also love how her role in taking down the Big Bad doesn’t have to do with her ‘power of seduction’ (the scene in the animated Aladdin film where Jasmine kissed Jafar truly traumatized me as a kid).

Phoebus is… well, he exists. Kind of a Regulus Black archetype, but not exactly. The guy on the bad side who turns good and all is forgiven. Well, at least it’s not the ‘her love made him a better man’ trope. And he is a good guy. Even if he did spend a considerable amount of his adult years on the side of the bad guys.

Systemic oppression? Nah, it’s one or two corrupt baddies. But again, it’s a Disney film, we need everything to work out for the good guys in the end.

Let’s get the gargoyles out of the way. To reference Lindsay Ellis’s video (she’s a lot smarter than I am and breaks this down better than I ever could): yes, the comedy’s oft ill-timed and inappropriate… for an adult audience. And the primary demographic of Disney films, especially princess ones (obviously Esmeralda isn’t a princess, nor does she marry into royalty, nor is she included in the group of princesses in the dumpster fire that is Ralph Breaks the Internet, but I had a book imaginatively titled ‘Disney Princess Stories’ as a kid that included Esmeralda’s story alongside Belle’s and Ariel’s, so I’m calling her a princess), are kids. And kids love fart jokes.

Additionally, I have a theory-that-is-not-really-a-theory-but-a-pretty-obvious-thing-that-happens that the gargoyles are figments of Quasimodo’s imagination, and the, at times crass and ridiculous things they say are just the voices in Quasimodo’s head (THIS IS OBVIOUS, STINA, YOU HAVEN’T STUMBLED ACROSS A STARTLING NEW REVELATION); maybe what he imagines normal townspeople to act like.

And then we have Judge Judy Chrissy Teigen Frollo. This dude is the embodiment of pure evil. He’s bigoted and rapey and abusive and one of Disney’s most successful villains- even better than Mother Gothel, who previously held the crown. It’s rare that a villain genuinely terrifies me, especially a cartoon one. Frollo, unlike your typical fairytale antagonist who wants power/fame/fortune/to overthrow Olympus, is far more sinister; driven from deep-rooted hatred instead of plain greed. He’s so much closer to people in positions of power and authority even in the modern world, and that element of reality makes him so much better as an antagonist instead of a literal sheep who hates carnivores (seriously, Disney, enough with the twist villains- they’re not working out).

Also, Hellfire slaps. In fact, the entire soundtrack does.

Speaking about Hellfire, I love the contrast between that and Heaven’s Light; how Esmeralda is viewed by Frollo (an object to possess, “Destroy Esmeralda, and let her taste the fires of hell; or else, let her be mine and mine alone”) as opposed to Quasimodo (someone with free will, “I dare to dream that she might even care for me”).

Another argument brought up, and admittedly one I had as a child was, ‘but if the whole point of the movie is acceptance and love as opposed to lust, why didn’t Quasimodo get the girl?’ Which, years later, I realize is an extremely misogynistic way to look at it. As Princess Jasmine said four years before The Hunchback was released, she is not a prize to be won. Quasimodo is Frollo’s antithesis; he lets Esmeralda choose, and she chose Phoebus. And Quasimodo accepted that, because he is good and kind and sweet and loving. Severus Snape, take note.

On a sidenote, I’m always kind of caught out of left field when the plot in films moves really fast- I’m really not a movie-watching type; I prefer to read, and books usually indicate how much time passes from one main plot point to another, and there are little slice-of-life, filler parts that tie in to character development and moving the plot forward, but at a snail’s pace. So, whenever I’m watching a movie and it’s one important event after another, I usually haven’t had enough of a refractory period to process it.

Let’s pretend that I segued smoothly into the next part of this (already tedious and long drawn out) review.

The Hunchback is the darkest film I’ve ever seen come out from Disney. Re-watching it as an adult made me pause every so often and wonder why the hell I wasn’t traumatized by it as a kid. I mean, the whole movie kicks off with Frollo about to throw an infant down a well. And then there’s that horrifying shot of the stone renditions of the Israelite kings on the church walls. Frollo falls to his death into fire. I mean, good riddance, but still. I guess it’s because the kids’ shows of today are awfully censored and polished so kids don’t have nightmares forevermore.

Update: tried to watch The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2. Exited just as fast as I clicked on it. Disney sequels really ain’t shit (yes, I’m looking at you, Frozen 2).

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aptronyms · 4 years

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ok so im going to try and explain the lore of fnaf or at least my knowledge of it lets fucking go

william afton and also a guy named henry made animatronics, they made fredbear and springbonnie and they were the mascots for fredbears family diner a pizzeria for children a la chuck e cheese

william had three children, michael, elizabeth, and the crying one and then one day michael and his shithead friends put the crying one into fredbears mouth as a prank and fucking killed him

this fucking sucked for everyone and then william made a new place with the pre-withered withered animatronics but then some shit happened there i guess and they replaced them with the toy animatronics (great move! because balloon boy is one of them)

also at some point william makes the funtime/circus animatronics but then WOOPS another animatronic (circus baby) kills another one of his kids, elizabeth this time, which sucks! it fucking sucks!

but dont feel too bad for william because hes a CHILD MURDERER?? FOR SOME REASON??? WHY DOES HE DO THAT???

either way the ghosts of all the children he murdered get sick of his shit and gang up on him and in order to hide william puts on his spring bonnie fursuit but it crunches him up and fucking kills him

also i guess the puppet like puts the spirits of the children in animatronics?? i dont know why they do that and also the puppet is that guy henrys dead daughter who froze to death and then poswsessed the puppet??? HUH???

anyway william fucking rots away in the spring lock suit because FOR SOME FUCKING REASON HE JUST DOESNT DIE EVER??? he ALWAYS comes back... and william aka springtrap is just sitting rotting in the suit in the back room of the pizzeria which gets changed up AGAIN, they get rid of the toy animatronics (BAD MOVE! no balloon boy = BAD) and replace them with the freddy foxy bonnie and chica we all know from fnaf one

im gonna be real i have genuinely no clue when sister location takes place during this timeline! no clue. it happens between fnaf 1 and fnaf 3 i think?? the timeline is hell. but sister locatjon is michael afton finding his sister who is possessing circus baby and then like. trying to save her but her and her animatronic buddies just turn themselves into a big spaghetti animatronic mess (ennard) and scoop out michaels insides and wear him like a puppet so they can live like humans

unfortunately ennard did not think about the effects that Being Dead would have on michaels body and eventullay he starts rotting and they can no longer pretend to be human so they hit the eject button and go live in the sewers but baby wont let michael die and so michael just. doesnt die even though he has no internal organs but its ok hes fine

fnaf three is someone. i think michael. or maybe henry. probably. working as a nightguard at “fazbears fright” which is like a horror attraction based on the freddy fazbears pizzeria murders or whatever and then the owner or whoever finds an actual freddy fazbears pizzeria ANIMATRONIC and is stoked and brings it to the attraction

THAT ANIMATRONIC IS SPRINGTRAP AND HOW THE PEOPLE WHO FOUND HIM DIDNT NOTICE THE ROTTING CORPSE COMPLETELY ELUDES ME! but now springtrap is there and michael/henry (whichever it is) is like haha hi springtrap aka william afton aka my dad/ex business partner depending on whether or not im michael or henry guess what you old son of a bitch im burning this place to the ground

UNFORTUNATELY william afton really really fucking hates dying and decides to just not die and instead turn into an uglier version of himself called scraptrap

meanwhile inside of ennard, ballora and funtime foxy and funtime freddy are pissed that babys “steal my brothers skin” plan didnt work so they kick her out of the polycule and put funtime freddy in charge instead... for some reason, and they become MOLTEN FREDDY

baby gets pissed about getting kicked out and starts her punk phase and becomes scrap baby, where she got the roller skates and cool claw hand is beyond me

AND ALSO henry made a fucking. bear animatronic suit to lure his daughter aka the puppet to his BRAND NEW FREDDY FAZBEARS PIZZERIA and it works and now the puppet is trapped inside of a bear named lefty

henry gets michael to start working at his new pizzeria and also gets michael to salvage scraptrap, lefty, molten freddy, and scrap baby and get them all into the same building which he then lights on fire and burns to the FUCKINF ground because even he wants this franchise to be over with. everyone in there dies and henry does his iconic “connection terminated. im sorry to interrupt you elizabeth, if you even remember that name” speech

the puppet and elizabeth and molten freddys souls and michael and henry all get to go to heaven and william is sent to the darkest pits of hell aka ultimate custom night where he can customize his own personal hell complete with horrible reminders of his past misdeeds <3

william aftons hell also happens to be the puppet and elizabeth and molten freddys personal heaven as well as all the rest of the souls that were possessing animatronics and they get to spend the rest of their time tormenting william afton for fun <3 the end

#neon.txt #long post #THIS IS THE EXTENT OF MY KNOWLEDGE ON THE LORE OF FNAF <3 ITS ALL CORRECT TOO BTW #AND MATPAT CAN SUCK IT!!!#also please dont feel like u have to read this trust me its probably all wrong and i did it just for fun

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nastyatticman · 3 years

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75 and 76 for Chance and Sidney?

Thank you! This got really long so under the cut...

Also big thanks to my gay lover @nastywaterman for helping me with Croatian food info <3

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Chance looks up for a second, then laughs. “Oh god, this is gonna be embarrassing. Anyway. One time I met someone through… questionable means. And I asked them out to dinner. I figured what the hell, they didn’t kill me when they had the chance right?

But of course they didn’t show. I got reservations for us, too. People could tell I got stood up. It was awkward as fuck but these two older queers who were also waiting asked me if I wanted to eat with them. I said yes, as long as it wouldn’t trouble them, and we somehow got into talking about gay shit and I found out I was talking to two old punks! We had a great time and they gave me some much needed advice. Like, my family’s alright but they don’t do well with the.. queer trans non monogamy thing. But these people though! I felt like they really got me.

Eventually the night had to end, and they paid my part of the bill because they knew I was a student. I ended up exchanging emails with one of them and we still talk sometimes.”

Sidney leans on his hand a moment. “Hmm. I think it would have to be my first furry convention. It was for my 19th birthday. Nothing huge happened, but… well actually it was huge for me. At the time.

We had some… stuff going on at home. Like, even as my parents dropped us off they were still-“ he pauses, scrunching his nose in disgust and anger.

“Anyway. My parents dropped Tori and me off at the convention center. She did not want to be there. They made her come anyway of course because, I don’t know, they probably thought I’d get kidnapped or go to a gay rave orgy if I didn’t have my kid sister with me.

But she could tell that the con meant a lot to me, even if our morning was bad, so she walked with me through all of it. All the weird stuff too. She still didn’t get it but she got us boba and sat down and asked me what the appeal for the furry fandom was - not judgmentally, she just was genuinely curious because there’s so many facets to the fandom she didn’t know where to start.

One lengthy explanation later… She said she still didn’t get it all (I don’t blame her), but she was more curious. She was starting to understand some of the stuff I liked, and she even told me she wanted to make a fursona since she actually thought my art was cool.

I’ve never let her live that down. But anyway, I ended up explaining more stuff to her and she was starting to enjoy herself too.

At one point we passed my favorite fursuiter, one I followed online for years. I was super excited to see them but I didn’t want to approach. We were just in the artist alley, but I didn’t want to come off as rude or annoying or anything. Tori ended up going over and asking them for a picture for me! I got a good picture of them, with them, and we even ended up talking after too!

It was just a really surreal experience, I would’ve thought I dreamed the whole thing if I didn’t have pictures.”

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

Chance nods and starts to speak. “Okay, I can’t take all the credit for this one, but it was my idea…

“One of my roommates was stressing over a big presentation she had to give in one of her classes. It was midterm season too, and she got some of the other midterms done early but the presentation scared her the most.

“We all pitched in with helping her practice, giving her feedback, and helping proofread her slides. Well, when we could, since we were all also studying. But she seemed to be really going through it and we wanted to do something extra for her once she got it done.

“I remembered she mentioned a while ago that she was starting to miss her mom’s cooking, especially since it was so hard to get Croatian food here...

“Lucky - for us, not her - her presentation was later in the day, so we had plenty of time to get prepared. I went out to a European bakery kinda far off and picked up some bread for cevapi and chocolate wafer cake for dessert. The others were making some stuff to go with it.

“When she got home she was completely drained, but she was able to walk into the kitchen to see what we made for her - it wasn’t perfect but she loved it!

“Like, we didn’t expect it to all taste right or anything, and it didn’t since we weren’t familiar with Croatian food, but she said she’d help us make it again…”

Sidney smiles and leans in like he’s got a big secret. “One time someone - I won’t name any names - was going through a rough patch.

“She was looking forward to Valentine’s Day with her boyfriend at the time - she got a whole new outfit and everything. but then he dumped her not even a week before with no warning. She was functioning alright but I could tell she was depressed all week.

“So… I took things into my own hands.

“I got up extra early and made a few stops. When she woke up I showed her that I made heart shaped pancakes for us, and I got her some pink and yellow flowers. The colors didn’t really match, I know, but those are her favorites. I was like, just because you got dumped doesn’t mean we can’t have a good day together, right?

“We mostly sat around and watched our favorite movies together, and then went out and got dinner and dessert. She even got the chance to wear her new outfit too! I mean, I can’t forget after all those pictures she made me take for her insta… But anyway we had a great day together, without any stupid guys to bother us.”

#nasty attic originals #chance the slasher fucker #Sidney Jade Leong

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thedappleddragon · 4 years

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Day 163 (Sunday August 23rd)

😈.

Day 164 (Monday August 24th)

😈 again

Day 165 (Tuesday August 25th)

I have no clue but I do know I made this

I went to Joann’s and got a bunch of supplies for fursuit makig and little polymer clay so I made this little lad

He has a little button know but I didn’t take a picture

Day 166 (Wednesday August 26th)

I waited with my mom outside while we waited for furniture to arrive. She bought a huge oak 6 piece bed headboard shelving unit thing secodhand for like $600 so we spent several hours hauling it up onto the driveway and taking as much of it as we could inside. By the end of the day my hands really hurt because I have sensitive baby hands and no muscles.

Day 167 (Thursday August 27th)

I woke up sore as hell from moving all that furniture, and prepared the fox fursuit head for shipping. I decorated the box and included some stickers and a note. I also took a shelving unit that was in my mom’s room and put it in my room to hold a bunch of my sewing shit. I like it, but unfortunately it covers up all the decoration I had on that wall. :(

Day 168 (Friday August 28th)

Spent all day moving furniture again. There was a lot of yelling between my mom, my sister and I as we all struggled to clean my mom’s room and move shit around. I needed Emily to move stuff because she’s stronger than me, but she couldn’t handle how dusty and gross my mom’s room is so she had to leave and felt like throwing up a lot.

Day 169 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (Saturday August 29th)

Sore as shit again. My hips and lower back hurt a lot. I went outside and saw a TON of tiny little mushrooms in my backyard :)

I also started on a new fox fursuit head base. I did like how the eyes were uneven due to wierd construction, so I made one eyebrow angry and that lead to a whole different crazy expression. It’s all snarly, and I want to give it lots of monster qualities. Moving around in the mirror with it on looks so cool and I stimmed a fuckton around my room. Also my dad brought home food and a majority of my calories for the day came from macaroni salad and veggie straws. I took a shower and almost got stuck in the bathroom lol

Day 170 (Sunday August 30th)

I’m 98% sure everything I ate today was either veggie straws, potato salad, or trail mix. I don’t think I ate a single meal today, it was all just constant snacking. Oops. Anyway I worked more on my fursuit base and watched a lot of tiktoks. My brain didn’t work all day and it felt wierd and bad? Idk. This is what the foam base looks like so far after about 8 hours of work.

Ignore the ungodly amount of pins sticking out of him lol. I also made a mock-up of some 3d eyes, but Idk if I can do them properly without my glasses hitting them from the inside. I might go with 2d again, idk. I really want to learn how to do 3d some time.

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #corona diary #watched a lot of drawfee today

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quaculaarchive · 4 years

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personal thoughts but i dont really think furrys are as bad they are just funny animal people. thats just how i look at em. except cishet bigoted people who are furies are really evil obviously. i dont really think about it that mutch but like everybody in the world is at eachothers throats over animal cartoons. i just think its funny ans wierd how theres this whole. thing. i have a gay cousin whos a furry i never talk to him that much hes a cool guy kinda. one time when i was little and he was younger he was drawing his furry and he showed it to our grandma and i saw it and i was like wow thats cool i want to make a animal so i drew my own i still remember what it looked like. years later i was in my preteen embarrassed by everything phase and he came to our house with his fursuit on i wasnt sure why or what he was douing i was liek ahhhhhhhh. also another th8ing my parents got really really mad at me for acting like that around him and the whole him being a furrty thing was a whole hush hush thing so we wouldnt hurt his feelings. anyways furrys are ok

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sikereviewdotcom · 4 years

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wilfred (2011) - season 1 ep1 “happiness” review

ok so today were reviewing fucking "wilfred" basically its a story about a depressed guy who tried to kill himself but he failed because hes a pushover in life and even suicide is mocking him yea jk actually his sis prescribed him placebo so the meds he used in his suicide attempt were useless yada yada

then he sees his neighbours (on who he tots have the hots for) dog as a man and hes like lol wtf why is there a furry standing in my yard? im not into dogplay dudette, please dont do this to me ah-

unfortunately for him the chick, on the next day asks to take care of her dog meanwhile because idk shit happens in her house? and she has to work? yea something like that so anyway he accepts because hes into her and out of it aswell more out of it than anything tho

our man, ryan is pretty disturbed but it happens anyway he has NO control over his life so why would he have control on a dog fursuit wearing 40 yo man? yea exactly wouldnt make sense

wilfred enters his house and smoke a damn bong thats right, a very efficient way to introduce what kind of character were up against see, jason gann has the perfect face for such character looking all dirty in that suit with a big ass black painted dog nose you gotta think "that dawgs up to no good" and youd be damn right keep reading to discover why so basically nm happens in this episode if it isnt the setting of all the shit because well ryan has a lot of issues and its gonna get worse you cant believe this dog is gonna make things better for ryan not really hes just scamming the loser with cheap tricks and drugs

btw after (trying) to vape or w/e with wilfred, the man falls asleep, wakes up because his sis whos a bitch, remember her

its important to spot whos a bitch in each show ill be reviewing its pretty easy to balance whos the antagonist and who isnt although it often is much more complexe than that which is why im here making it all very easy and very interesting, aside from lost cases like the magic school bus i cant make that shit any worse nor TOO better like i have limited power my reviews are sike but some shows are just nah back to our whipped cream: ryans depression: he is jobless ok? so his sis is mad that he doesnt make the effort to come work and do what he has to also he used to be a lawyer btw because his father wanted him to be and then his father died and he lost his job and he hated being a lawyer so w/e but he also seemingly lost all reasons to live and redacted more than one suicide letter so im not sure what to think about it he was really eager to die yknow his sis couldnt care less tho its like "yo stop ruining my image im trynna get you a job in my hospital fuckface" yea see that why shes an inconsiderate bitch

so instead of going to work because of wilfred, ryan takes him for a while btw that vermin also tries to get elijah (the actor playing ryan is elijah wood obvs btw so this series already gets 5 points to begin with i dont make the rules) to throw a tennis ball and dont forget this ball ok? its gonna come back and start a whole drama its the beginning of our adventure a ball

next theyre in a restauration thing eating chips and drinking a beer together dog and his friend then the waitress comes and

happens the tiddies eating, it almost one fucking minute im sure we could all feel the embarassement of having your animal rubbing its balls and penis against your friend whos over for the nights leg in the middle of spring and youre just trying to get it back but wow the hormones are hitting it hard its like a cleaning robot vibrating on a grandma whos cardiacs chest and you trynna take that little asshole away but for some reason its rubbed in olive oil so not only does it reeks of olive, its also slippery as heck and you can see your grandma spasmming on her soon-to-be deathbed, she has spasms for god sake no the robot no someone stop it from stimulating the old ladys torso ah shit marguerite died after drowning in her drooling

not even died of an heart attack nah, it was such a messy death she suffered so much no one could do anything its like the robot was sentient yknow and well same goes for wilfred hes making it on purpose but uses the excuse : he likes the boobs it nothing personal, ryan

w/e they leave after paying (not for the side tits tho, it was a freebie for dogs) after that shit happens (i wont spoil you EVERYTHING, im just painting a pic here ok?) at this point you could wonder "is wilfred being a dick on purpose or its just about said instincts? how much percentage of his behavior is actually dog and how much is ryans mind (the guy is deranged there is no denying that but how much? )) whats sure is that his owner likes her dog vm and hes maining that chick

good for him? but it also happens that before that, elijah just threw the ball above the gate and into his much less friendly neighbour because he was sick of the dog asking to throw it and so yea, there is a tension between ryan and wilfred not any kind of tension, exactly the kind of elija x reader fanfic i wanted to read except pov: im a canine furry and i smoke weed on a daily basis and im a jackass

theyre almost breaking up someone does something about it i was seriously getting into it wow oh no fuck look at me tearing one or two here

rip their new born bromance? or... is it all there is to it? well see no obviously its the problem we were waiting for because when our fella enters back home and idk whatever else happens its night and his sister comes home and she goes all "lol actually i gave you placebo itd be dangerous otherwise you numbfuck" but shes quickly muted once our man notices his dog friend in his yard... its time for a reunion a heart to heart conversation to proceed so he has to ditch his sis which he casually does bros before hoes

its again about the ball which HE WILL go and fetch by passing over the fence to get in neighbours yard but damn it cant be just that? wouldnt it make a lame crappy story? we need some actions, we got the tits, the beer, no job, delinquency has no limit so fuck it says the dog as he smashes the window and enters the bikers house because he SMELLS (like he smells the shit streaks you have on your pants) the weed, ryan is like "no fuck bro no shit fuck ah-" then sees the damn weed which they steal ok? hes really a pushover he has not got the right idea of stopping being one because thats what his new friends supposed to be here for yknow trynna get his loser into a winner, that lil camper gotta level up his game, go get into the business of life barging in kicking the door to enter, no shame nor hesitation were trying to make him STEP UP for HIMSELF but guess what? ill tell you later or itd be a spoil in a spoil surely a bad paradoxal medium w/e business going on blablabla theyre up to no good thats for sure as sure as how much ryans actually enjoy this the mans into this pee slash poop affair:

spoiler alert: he does it and

im just quoting him here : he never felt more alive nor glad to be so i guess thats whats life about shitting in peoples affair, stealing weed plants and quitting your job on your first day (you havent showed up tho so w/e you never really worked in that place no one knows you its all good you can get back in that place looking innocent and smiling with your broken ribs "yea nah i never had a job here and ditched yall huh" thats foxy of him kinda but not really since he had no intention back then to do anything for himself it was all strings pulled by a fucking dog hilarious really im having a kick haha no

so what next? theyre best friends? man and dog, a wonderful friendship happens he has no more family to support him but HE HAS A DOG guys he was so into it im feeling sorry for this hobot-to-be schizophrenic man

i wont spoil you but trust me when i say not to trust a furry who eats tits on your first date

in conclusion: it was a pretty decent first episode ill update my final thoughts on the first season once im done watching it but so far its recommandable the camera work is pretty cool like its not just thoughtless filming we actually have a nice feel to it, the setting of the series is esthetically pleasing you get nice colors and it aint boring, its not like a FRIENDS episode yknow? dawg i dislike how boring it looks filming wise for start but damn i aint reviewing FRIENDS rn so next, the comedy? after all its a comedy genre series not a drama, idk if id review an actual depressive show on here thatd bum the vibe out ok? i know im making all my revs awesome w/e it is that i choose to rate and comment but still im serving you a plate of my finest sheez not any fizzle in the mizzle ok?

anyway yea the humor aint bad, i havent laughed my ass of but i did find it amusing to watch the jokes may actually kick in in the second episode ill have to update this rev alright? just hang on to your balls peeps this fam will serve in due time

rating: 7,5/10 scenery/camera work 7/10 comedy 8/10 interest/entertaining points total: 7,5/10 for a first episode is fine enough to be recommanded, like a "give it a chance" sorta case yknow isnt the most hilarious show youll watch but its fine especially if youre into homoromantic tension between a furry and elijah wood

tg, out

#wilfred #review #series review #wilfred review #wilfred 2011 #furry #sike reviews

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superemeralds · 5 years

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yes. a big sonic fish dropping his opinion on the Thing.

i watched the trailers a bunch of times unti li got so exhausted i just ugh.

you will notice i tried to go thru every second and try finding easter eggs but my attention is not enoguh to. Write That Down

if i had t and id be comfortable with my voice id just record audio or do shit in a steam but. yakno :’)

anyways its under the cut.

TLDR;

the movie looks like they asked pen kenders for design advice for sonics model

i absolutely fucking hate his anatomy its bad from any possible perspective and tehres no sugartalking it hes a naked little man with a fursuit head. and that head has a human jaw. somehow.

the cgi on sonic is debateable. hope the movie puts him into the environment a little better with bounce light n shit. (he would probably fit the environment more easily if he was a cartoon)

the overall quality of the movie is standard millions of dollar budged movie. its got explosions and action and over the top cgi and unfunny jokes that somehow make u laugh anyways they tried some really cool stuff but they just. couldn’t execute it the way they’d wish they did (or at least i wish they did)

you WILL be entertained when watching this movie because the actors are doing a great job n the overall execution is okay (not Good but like. passable. think frozen)

generally the characterization of sonic is good from what we’ve seen

eggman is gonna be okay i think, just. different.

love that its probably inspired by SA2 and 06

im trying to be professional with this but if you know me you know this is impossible. i tried.

I’ll do eggman in a reblog tomorrow right now im just too exhausted from having watched the trailer too often

Starts off with the cop whos name i forgot again sittin in his car when sonic speeds thru.

Ofc he doesn‘t believe such a velocity is possible but then he finds an electrifying blue needle in the grass? Okay? How is that still doing sparkly shit when detatched from sonic, and that strongly? I mean I get it but still. Very hmst? Makes one wonder how they explain his power.

Next is the paramound logo but with rings.

Then is a scene of Sonic running thru the woods which reminds me VERY heavily of the sonic fan movie. like RAELLY heavily.

then sonic falls into his... burrow?

notice the stop sign.

a big biean bag, to cussion his fall probably, and lots of trash. looks like soda and juice and stuff i can’t identify rn. but its a lot of junk.

he has a fuckton of shoes. all w broken soles bc hes running too fast. (tho its unrealistic for only the soles to be damaged.

and a casette player with a knife on it?

after sonic is seen on a street so we can see his back very well.

then he takes the fuck OFF all with the electricity sparkles. its like the efx ppl were too much into MHA

then sonic breaks the sound barrier and. somehow the entirety of north america doesnt have power anymore. maybe those things arent connected but like. its meant to confuse us and make us think. its probably how sonic came to this world.

then eggman is being an asshole to the military (yay) but hes also like. being the Boss Of The Military Now (nay)

also ofc the villain sidekick is a man of color

THEN the cop finds sonic in a shed.

i would screan too if i saw that in a shed.

then theyre sittin in a van. sonic does NOT have his seatbelt on.

THEN eggman attacks. sonic jumps out of the car to fight him off and save the cop

he does a spindash and flips eggmans car, taunts him and runs back to the cop (very good characterization)

eggman then unleashes a smaller robot car thing

then eggman finds one of sonics needles thats still bbzzzting he even tries to lick it. askjfhksa

SONIC THROWS A GOLD RING TO SAVE COP AND THE OTHER GAL FROM FALLING TO THEIR DEATH FROM A SKYSCRAPER??????

then the scene on the skyscraper thats probably before the gold ring throw

i like that the eggman mechs are all inspired by the 06 aesthetic...

he moves so. slow. in the scenes where hes supposed to be fast.......

they tried to pull a quicksilver but. failed.

i dont like how they used ingame sounds bc. yall removed him fro the game aesthetic. and. do that.

and the. shufflebag scene. im. what. thats. what.

also:

ok now onto sonics design.

not even that rainbow flare effect can save the fact he looks like a naked person with a furry mask/headpiece.

total frontal looks okay. i like the smirk and how deep the eyes are. the nose and the eye thing doesn’t really bother much. he looks like a lil boy that i would like to pet

why are his hands white though? just give him gloves you heathens..... they look like monkey hands (yuji naka himself made a statement on twitter that he needs gloves)

the proportions are so. hng. the human jaw. n his head attachment to his body..... it works when its a cartoon but like that? it looks weird.

this angle... why does he have. human lips??? im glad the ears are expressive but. HUMAN LIPS.

why are his eyelids like that.... the peach part is. not enoguh

WHY THE HUMAN TEETH. WHY HUMAN JAW? IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE!!! ITS REALLY EW IM AAAAAAAAAA

hhhh

THIS THO. this is a good boy. how are they the same model?

and thats where i want to give up bc i dont want to look at him anymore.

hes a naked guy with a fursuit head.

and he doesnt fit into the environment... the shaders on him arent good and they are forgetting the bounce light around him and on him.

but. essentially. yknow. yknow what his design reminds me of?

same energy.

i wanted this to be professional but im so. tired. i cant anymore ill do eggman another day

#shadows logbook #long post

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romaniassexdungeon · 5 years

Text

Shattered Romanticism of a God - chapter 9

Pairings: SuFin, NedDen,

Vidar - Norway // Tolli - Iceland // Luca - Luxembourg // Adriaan - Netherlands // Gunner - Denmark

Sorry this is late. I'm a slow dumbass. I would like to try to keep this updated regularly, though, as it has a whole load of support and I feel bed when I can't update due to being a sleepy bitch. There's some dumb jokes in here, but no funny business. Hope you enjoy.

Read on AO3

Vidar would make a good manager.

He was cunning, ruthless and incredibly intelligent, and the music industry had no idea of the storm that was coming. He could and would calculate his way to success, using whoever he needed, and dumping them in the gutter when they’d outlived their use. He was a filthy, greedy man who would probably meet his end at the guillotine, but at least he’d be swimming in money and power until the end. He would drag the Screaming Pagans to the top, or burn everything trying.

At least, that was what Gunner said in his tipsy pre-drinks speech.

He slapped his cousin on the shoulder, laughing heartily as he pulled him into a one-armed hug. “We’ll be getting bookings every week now!”

“No pressure then,” muttered Tolli, standing next to Tino.

The Screaming Pagans, Tino, and Tolli were crowded in Berwald and Gunner’s main room, all a couple of glasses of wine into what promised to be a night of drinking. And dancing. And acting like idiots.

Eduard, for some reason, had turned down his own invitation. Something about not wanting to babysit drunk Tino, and having a date of his own. Unfortunately, he’d refused to say more on the subject. No matter how much Tino asked and pleaded and teased about his date actually being his hand.

For the first time ever, Eduard hadn’t risen to the bait, so Tino had to suspect he really did have a date. Well, good for Eduard! Internet explorer-chan body pillow or real woman, it was an improvement.

He wasn’t a big clubbing guy, anyway. But, neither was Berwald, now that he thought about it. Was he dreading it? Tino shuffled over to him and took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Berwald almost smiled back.

“Trinity is the best place in town,” Gunner insisted, lining them all up outside the club of his choice.

“That’s it, you’re officially old,” Tolli rolled his eyes, “to anyone born this century, it’s Club Galaxy. They’re the best, and they’re a student bar so drinks are cheaper. Also it’s my uni bar so I get things for extra cheap.”

“You go there too?” asked Luca, beaming like he'd found a new ally.

“Their music’s too loud,” Gunner whined, proving Tolli’s point. “You can’t talk to people! And their beer's bad.”

“Drink vodka, then,” said Vidar, “don’t be a pussy.”

“No thanks. I don’t like the taste.”

“Costs more to get blackout drunk.”

“What makes you think that’s what I want? Maybe I just want a couple beers and a relax?”

Vidar flicked him on the ear affectionately. “Because I know you.”

“I’m not gonna get stupid. This time. Maybe. You’re no fun.”

“Don’t bully him,” Gilbert whined, “just cause we’re old, doesn’t mean we can’t have fun.”

“I’ve felt old since 17,” Tino commented, only within earshot to Berwald. “Or at least, my back does.”

Berwald nodded in agreement.

“You’re all old and embarrassing,” muttered Tolli. "Why do I spend time with you?"

Vidar shrugged. "Can't make friends your own age?"

“I’m cool,” Gunner pouted, “I smoke and fuck!”

“I gave you one toke and you almost choked, cried, then asked to go to the hospital,” said Adriaan, raising his eyebrow.

“No comeback for the fucking thing, I see.” Gunner flicked his nose, “also you charged for every puff. You're literally the worst.”

“I refuse to believe you fuck,” said Vidar, “not having a proper job really leaves you swimming in cock, especially when you take them home and show them your Lego model collection.”

“Did I fucking ask? I have a real job, and some people still have a childish side. Surely your girlfriend isn’t completely boring, right? She gotta have a childish side.”

“Nope.”

“Really? Not even a little?”

“She likes gross, sexual jokes, like some 12 year old, but generally no.”

Gunner blinked. “Huh. Wasn’t expecting that. Does she collect stuff? Everyone collects stuff, right? You know, I really do think she's a robot.”

“Ornamental knives.”

“Bruh, that’s so hot. Does she ever… use them? On you?”

Vidar looked at him. “I’m not answering that.”

“Are we talking about kinks?” asked Tino excitedly.

Gilbert winced. “And other things not beneficial to my relationship with the lord.”

“I wanna talk about kinks too!” Luca clapped his hands excitedly.

“Like the person saying your name?” suggested Tolli, to Vidar’s horror.

“You’re way too young to-”

“I’m eighteen, shitlips, I’ll talk all I want.”

“I used to be into the name thing,” Gilbert commented, “I dunno, it seemed nice, like your own hypeman. Except then the last 8 people said my name was too dumb to shout out in a sexy way.”

Gunner raised an eyebrow. “And by 8 people, you mean…”

“Two. But it really, really hurt my feelings.”

Tino burst out laughing. “Oooh, my turn!”

“No!” Vidar covered his mouth, “we haven’t got all night.”

Tino wondered if it was his imagination, or if Berwald looked a little disappointed at that. Did he want to know what Tino was into? Tino wanted to know what he was into, even if it was just holding hands under the moonlight, he’d be happy to indulge.

Though if Berwald was into feet, Tino was telling him to fuck off right now. Some weirdo kept sending him emails asking for feet pics and it honestly unnerved the hell outta him. He hoped it was just Vidar playing a prank on him.

Email weirdo was offering 1100 krona, though. Seemed like easy money, if Tino was 20% poorer and had 5% less dignity.

Why did his mind go to these places?

And now he’d missed whatever it was Luca had said to make everyone else start protesting and kinkshaming in horror.

“I just like the mask! And the lead!” Luca was defending, “I don’t actually want to be a dog!”

“Haha! Furry!” Gunner pointed and laughed at him. Adriaan bristled.

“What’s wrong with that?”

Gunner looked at him. “You made your brother a furry, didn’t you?”

“Good taste runs in the family.”

“I have never seen a fursona’s colour scheme that could be described as ‘good taste’.”

Adriaan reeled like Gunner had just punched him in the face. Luca looked like he was about to faint.

“Gunner,” began Tino, “how would you know unless you’ve seen multiple fursonas? Are you involved in the community?”

“You’re banned from writing about us, Väinämöinen. Not if you’re gonna be exposing us like that.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a furry,” said Tolli, “except to everyone who picked on me in high school apparently.”

“Because you wore your fursuit to school every day,” Vidar pointed out. “And you were fourteen and refused to wear deoderant.”

“So you’re the guy who gives us all a bad name?” asked Luca. “Tolli!”

“I was a different person then!”

“Am I the only person in the band who isn’t a furry?” asked Gilbert.

“M’not a furry,” Berwald mumbled.

“I’m not in the band,” added Tolli.

“Also I’ve rped with your brother on furaffinity,” said Adriaan, "Lud's fursona is a German shepherd into BDSM."

Gilbert started banging his head against the wall. “I really wish we were inside and I didn’t have to listen to you people.”

“The music isn’t as loud, though,” Tolli pointed out, “you could still hear us.”

“It’s loud enough for me to escape!”

“Okay, just be on your best behaviour,” said Gunner, “we’re advertising the Screaming Pagans too, remember.”

“That why you’re all wearing band t shirts?” asked Tino, wishing he’d worn his, too, even if he wasn't a band member. He liked fitting in, which was a little tricky, given how weird he was.

“Yeah, it was Vidar’s idea,” Gunner affectionately punched his cousin on the arm.

“Even though no one can read the band name because it looks like a pile of twigs?”

All five members of the Screaming Pagans, and new manager Vidar, looked down at their shirts in disappointment. Berwald looked so heartbroken Tino wished he’d said nothing.

“Hey, we’re in,” Luca pulled Tolli forward, striding past the bouncer with a sweet smile. After getting his hand stamped, Tino followed, holding Berwald’s arm when he started looking nervous. Maybe it was growing up with Eduard, but he tended to feel protective of introvert friends, even though he was something of an introvert himself. Dad instincts, or something.

He only had vague memories of Trinity, but the glowing purple lights did seem familiar. He’d thrown up in the bathroom here. Luca ran over to the bar to order shots, knocking them down with absolute glee, and Tino decided to join him. Berwald, like his cousin, tended to opt for beer, ordering one and sitting at a table in the corner. Tino and Vidar ended up joining him for an hour or so, getting progressively more drunk and watching their friends be stupid.

“Since when were those two together?” asked Tino, watching Gunner hump Adriaan like an overly excitable dog. Adriaan, for his part, actually seemed to be enjoying it, and kissed his cheek with more affection than Tino had ever seen him use, even with his family.

Berwald shrugged, staring at the two in what must pass for bewilderment with his face.

“You didn’t know?” asked Tino.

“Nah. S’plains a lot, though.”

“Like why Gunner’s always at his place?”

Berwald grunted.

“Do you think they’re good together?”

He shrugged. “Guess. Been best friends forever.”

“I don’t know how they put up with each other,” added Vidar, “but they do.”

“I think they’re sweet.” Tino watched Adriaan try to pick Gunner off the ground, then promptly give up and let him carry on trying to do the worm. It was more like a worm dipped in bleach, from what Tino could see, but at least it was less horrifying than what he’d been doing before.

When he finally looked away, Gunner had been doing the macarena to euphoria.

“Wanna dance?” he asked Berwald, who squirmed.

“Hey, you’re probably not as bad as me,” he reassured him, “come on. Just for a bit. One song, then we’ll sit back down.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Berwald nodded and let Tino lead him to the dance floor. He swayed awkwardly to the music, still holding Tino’s hands as he danced wildly out of tune, shaking his cheeks like a baby in a lion’s mouth. He cared little for those around him, and how many people were within range of his iron hips.

The terrible dancing did seem to amuse Berwald, but Tino could tell the blaring music was overwhelming him. He dropped it low, touched his face gently and took his hand, leading him outside for a moment. Out in the crisp, night air, Berwald looked a lot happier.

“Want to stay out here for a bit?” asked Tino, face softening. Berwald nodded, but he still looked uneasy.

“Want to stay out here forever?” he added gently, “or go home and drink instead?”

Berwald nodded again, significantly more enthusiastic. Tino rubbed his back until he was ready to make a move, giving Vidar a quick text to explain the situation. Then, he lead Berwald down the street.

“Want more beer?” he asked once they came across a corner shop. Tino picked a bottle of vodka for himself. A small one, so he wouldn’t get too stupid. And maybe seduce Berwald in a normal, acceptable manner. Maybe he’d think Tino was cute and smart and handsome and someone definitely worth dating. Except he wasn't cute! What was he saying?

Berwald nodded awkwardly, and Tino grabbed a six pack he’d seen him drink before. Not that he was paying attention to Berwald’s every preference and mood, despite the lack of facial cues to help with that.

Berwald insisted on paying, even though Tino’s drink was more expensive. He explained he and Gunner had gotten new jobs, just to tide them over and keep them housed until the band took off. Tino’s heart ached at the thought of them not being able to live their dreams yet; they had the talent, they just needed the chance.

Maybe Vidar really could get them there.

They had to be careful, as they stumbled through the streets - drinking and singing out of tune - that they didn’t run into any police officers who would take their alcohol. And maybe fine them if they were feeling particularly mean.

“Have you ever tho- thought about writing a song about corp- corp. Rich companies. And rich people.”

Berwald watched him try and get his sentence out in amusement. Tino, meanwhile, stepped onto a low wall to try and be eye-level with the man. He still wasn’t.

Berwald nodded. “Migh’ do. Call 'em out fer being evil.”

“Yeah, of course.” He stumbled, and Berwald steadied him, “just throwing out ideas. You see what sticks.”

He smiled. “Thanks.”

“What are you working on? Song-wise.” He wished Berwald would work on him. What did that even mean?

“Tryna find an angle,” he shrugged, “like, somethin’ unique.”

“Like the viking stuff?”

Berwald nodded. “Somethin’ else too. Lotta bands do the viking stuff.”

Tino nodded and thought for a while. “Right. Something to set you apart from other indie bands... Huh, you like Eurovision?”

“Course I do. M’Swedish.”

“What about metal covers of Eurovision songs? But, like, the weird ones. Who wouldn’t want a metal cover of dancing lasha tumbai?”

Berwald snorted. “Serious ‘nes too. Heroes m’tal version? Wanna do it.”

“Can I be the tiny LED boy who flies off with a balloon?” asked Tino.

“Mm! Please!”

“Although, as much as I love this idea, you know what’s better than metal covers of Eurovision?”

“Hm?”

“Actually sending metal songs to Eurovision.”

Berwald nodded. “Hung’ry’s got the right idea.”

“Hey! We did it first!”

He smirked. “They did it better.”

“You’ve literally covered Lordi! You ever covered AWS?”

“Dun member,” he mumbled childishly. Jokingly. Bastard.

“I was there. It was the first time I saw you perform?”

“Can’t recall.”

“It was night of the loving dead !”

“ Raise h’ll in heaven , actually.”

“How wasted was I? Also ha! You admitted it!”

Berwald gave a hum. He might’ve been a little too drunk. “M’ybe so. Hey, Tino?”

“Yeah?”

He came to a halt, then began singing in his beautiful, low voice. “ Sieben, Sieben, ai lyu lyu, Sieben, Sieben, ein, zwei, Sieben, Sieben, ai lyu lyu, ein, zwei, drei .”

Tino didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or shrivel up in cringe; Berwald's voice did not match the song at all, and his body had no idea how to react. He was completely in love. “Dude, marry me, but, like platonically,” he added quickly.

Berwald looked at him strangely, then took his hands and swung them from side to side. “Tanzen!”

“Ich liebe!” He gave a little jump.

Tino almost fell off his wall, and Berwald grabbed him by the waist. He spun him around, growling in his ear, “I want to see, lasha tumbai.”

“I want to see! Lasha tumbai!”

“Rock 'n roll angels bring thyn hard rock hallelujah, demons and angels all in one have arrived!”

Tino snuggled up to him, and his body felt a little colder after Berwald put him down.

“C’me on,” Berwald took his hand, “lets get back to- back to- um.”

“Your place?”

He nodded sheepishly.

“Has anyone ever told you how handsome you are?” asked Tino, tripping over the coat stand. Berwald steadied him gently, and Tino cuddled his arm in response, with no intention of letting go. “And you have nice arms. They’re… good-shaped. Shapey. Hard.” He traced his fingers over Berwald’s hand, over the veins and rough knuckles and all the little nicks in his fingertips. “Good hands... good, strong hands.”

Berwald, for his part, seemed to be trying his best not to laugh. That was fair; Tino’s entire life was a cringe compilation his cousins were slowly putting together.

“Do you make things?” asked Tino, “you should. You have creative...ing hands.”

“I whittle,” he mumbled.

”Of course! Good whittle hands! You can make things!”

“Helps with nerves,” he admitted.

“It’s sad you have troubles with nerve. Stupid nerves. You’re so amazing and beefy and smart and handsome and you can do anything.”

“Got nerf’d with anxiety.”

He smiled. “Like how I got nerfed by being a manlet?”

“Yer cute. Small ‘n cute.”

“Don’t make me come up there and fight you!” Tino hugged him instead. Or, more accurately, fell against him. Berwald wrapped his arms around him. “Can’t hurt you. Too nice. Stupid tree.” Berwald snorted and lead him to the sofa to sit down. He went to pour them both glasses of water, because he was that barrel of laughs who drank water on a night out, to stay hydrated.

“You’re good,” when Berwald sat down, Tino leaned against him, sipping the water. “So good. You’re the best. You’re so nice to me, and- and- I wish I could make it up to you, and tell you I like you.”

Berwald blinked at that. “Y’like me?”

“Yeah. I wish I could let you know. Like, by fellating you or something.”

“Telling me would be fine!” Okay, if Berwald was saying that, maybe Tino needed to work on communication. Except, right now, his head was swimming and he was talking out his arse.

“You deserve nice things,” he tried to explain, “and you’re so handsome.”

“Yer drunk.”

“You’re hot.”

“Yes, but y’need a lie down.”

Tino perked up at that. “In your bed?”

“Yes. Not like that. Jus’ sleeping.”

Tino nodded. “See? You’re so nice to me, even though I’m being gross and weird. Like, I just said I wanted to blow you and you’re looking after me.”

Berwald shrugged. “Like ya too.”

“Really? Even though I’m a mess?”

“Yeah. Cute. Fun.”

Tino nodded and rested his head on his chest. “Strong. Gentle.”

Berwald picked him up, bridal-style, and lead him to his bedroom. Tino looked around at Berwald’s sword collection before gently being laid down on the bed. He noticed a workbench in the corner with half-finished wood carvings set out in a line. The sheets were clean, bed made, and it didn't smell like it had been slept in.

“Your room is nice,” he commented, “sure- sure you don’t- want me-”

“Go to sleep,” Berwald began stroking his hair, “want me t’sing ya to sleep?”

Tino nodded. He’d pay hundreds to hear Berwald’s voice; how lucky he was to hear it here, in the calm of night.

“Rise, nations pride… Hold what's yours… Strike 'em were it hurts…”

“Think I might love you,” he mumbled. Berwald was too stunned to reply.

The next morning, Tino woke up with a raging hangover nowhere near as painful as the overwhelming shame as he began remembering just what he’d done and said and oh God he needed to get outta there .

So, whilst Berwald was still asleep - tangled up in his arms - he pulled himself out of bed as gently as possible, gathered up his clothes, and left, making as little noise as possible.

In the hallway, he ran into Gunner, also doing the walk of shame. Not that he had even heard of shame, judging by the smug grin he wore as he wiggled his eyebrows at Tino.

“Yo, did my cousin actually get some?”

“Fuck off Densen,” he ducked past him and out into sunshine that had no business being that bright.

#sufin #aph finland #aph sweden #aph denmark #aph norway #aph iceland #aph netherlands #aph prussia #aph luxembourg #nedden #shattered romanticism of a god

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philiie · 6 years

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Interactive Introverts London highlights

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD PROCEED AT YOUR OWN PERIL

This is also the most extra shit like I spent hours writing everything up lol

Go check out @danfanciesphil post here of the Brighton show which inspired me to do this :))

- When they first came it was the coolest thing ever. They were standing on the podium thing and the screen at the back lifted to reveal them in a cloud of smoke and they were silhouettes until the spotlight shined on them. Holy shit it was the best thing ever it doesn't even seem real.

- They were quite close to their apartment as well so Phil said they were considering bringing their sofa and "sitting in our browsing position".

- Dan mentioned how Phil's old videos from 2008 were very different from now (lots of audience approval) and how they were kind of really creepy and weird and honesty it probably isn't a good thing (I disagree but sure whatever). Phil talked about 'snokoplasm' and how it was literally just him rubbing slime over himself shirtless pretending to be futuristic (lots of audience approval for that lol) but he doesn't make videos like that anymore because he wants to make things that are actually entertaining and things he WANTS to make.

- Montage of everything they aren't gonna do in the show just so our expectations are levelled.

- They went backstage to get a silver box (Dan literally Naruto ran for no apparent reason) from which they were acting out the things using props from it in the centre while a voice narrated. In between each one the lights went darker so you could only see their silhouettes as they grabbed props. It was all very pantomime like which was really cool and theatrical.

- The things included: 24 hour livestream of them doing domestic home things (recording of dan on the toilet and Phil munching on crunchy nut appeared on the screen lmao), Erotic roleplay (Phil was in a policeman hat and had a baton thing while dan was in handcuffs. The recording of dan saying please be gentle, I have sensitive skin played), Stripping on stage... they started acting like they were going to actually take their tops off and they actually ripped them off to reveal an exact copy of the top underneath except Phil was now in a half sleeved shirt instead of full sleeved (I now understand Louise's joke)

- Phil stumbled and almost tripped on the step when going into the centre and was like "I almost forgot there was a step there" and was walking really strangely into the middle like elongating his legs after every time he lifted them and Dan made fun of it being like who tf walks like that. "Does anyone ever feel like Phil is actually an alien learning how humans work?" Later on in the show Phil says something about removing his lizard face and Dan says THAT would explain the weird walking. He also imitates Phil going up into the centre and says "I'm doing a Phil walk" v v cute :))

- For the Dan vs Phil segment they talked about the electric shock machines and for each round the pointer moved up one level of electric shock. The first time it moved into the yellow area and Phil said "Finger in the yellow" which elicited a massive audience reaction and dan stopped and was like oh god and Phil was giggling in his 'oops shouldn't have said that' way, somehow he made that adorable.

- The first round was seeing how well they know each other and Dan made the comment saying "don't worry guys I'm Phil trash #1 and all"

- Phil's question was: What did Dan swap alcohol with in ISG10?

Phil answered green tea correctly but the electric shock sound effect came up anyways. Dan was like no you answered that correctly it should have been a ding but the ding didn't come up anyways (lol tech crew nice one)

- Dan expressed extreme discomfort with 'x rated lester' "in any interpretation"

- Dan's bad thing was 'spoilers' and he tried to say that it's better to not be surprised. (I'm pretty sure this is the bit where he said "otherwise I'd be like 'Phil... Phil I don't feel so good'" reaching his arm out to him (infinity war reference for those who don't know,,, I could have killed him in that moment can he not) "Too soon? Yeah probably too soon."

- Phil's good thing that he had to make bad "getting unlimited money" Dan found that hilarious. His way of making it bad was that it gives you too much power- he would strap two planes together and stand on top of and ride them which would probably make them explode.

- They used the Isle of Man pic of Dan for the Dan, Phil or a rat segment (you guys know the one where he's smiling super happy) that just made me feel very warm :)

- The picture for Dan was just a really pale cream colour and Dan made the joke that it might be translucent enough to be Phil's skin but he said no I bet it's a troll and guessed rat. Turns out Dan was right and it actually was Phil's skin lmao from the picture of Phil with the silver hair dye.

- When Dan got electrocuted he fully hit his shin on one of the benches and basically died on stage. He fully snorted and turned away in shame and pain and it was the most hilarious thing ever. "Who designed this stupid set" LMAO

- Phil asks us to clap on the count of 3 after which some people immediately clap and Dan's like omg no on the count of 3. But then people start clapping for the people that clapped "are you seriously clapping for the people that just clapped" and then basically everyone started clapping and oh my gosh it was the best moment ever I've never felt more collectively part of something in that moment it was so funny and Dan looked so done with us all. A great moment.

- Someone asked in the getting deep part that there's a guy she likes but all she does is makes vine references. Phil's response to that is if he doesn't appreciate your vine references he's not worth it. Dan: "there's your dating advice from Phil"

- Phil was cleaning in 'Dan's' room (dan says "like you've ever done a chore") Phil's indignantly says he vacuums doing the hand movement. Apparently he found 'something weird' under 'Dan's' bed so he brought out a silver box that was locked saying it was heavy and handed it to Dan. [yes I'm putting that all in quotation marks fight me]

- He wanted the audience to guess what they thought was inside the box and the things that people said were: A single piece of Phil's hair, A fursuit and a Dildo(ll) rip they kept emphasising DOLL it was too funny nice one whoever that was lmao

- Phil was asking the audience if anyone had a key to open the box and Nora (what a legend) threw some plastic keys onto the stage and Phil fully tried to unlock the box using them lmao what a cutie. When Dan came back with the actual key Phil was like someone had plastic keys and dan was like wtf it was too funny.

- Do you really know Dan and Phil? 1% of people said 'who are Dan and Phil?' Lol they wouldn't stop bringing that up. 47% (?) of people said they don't really know Dan and Phil and Dan was like wow Phil why are you so shady? (He said this twice in the show when addressing the idea that their personalities are different online)

- They did a pie chart to show fave video series which apparently they were really excited about seeing as they hyped that up for a solid 2 minutes,,, "90% of the budget of the show was for this pie chart"

- Dan got sacrificed attached to the wheel of death comes out yelling with no warning so everyone is just screaming because it was so unexpected so i couldn't actually hear anything he said but the basic gist of it was fuck you all lmao.

- When Phil tried hitting him with a slinky it was a couple inches away from "the danger zone" I.e. Dan's crotch. Phil repeats the phrase danger zone two more times after that lmao.

- Dan says "almost hit my balls" w o w.

- The last time is some massive intense bazooka that Phil started stroking and then dan was like "stop stroking it- especially with those gloves on".

- Phil hits him the last time with the bazooka literally almost at his crotch and Dan screams. They say how it's all our fault and that we should feel bad. Phil is like "I don't think they feel guilty" lol I mean he's not wrong

- At the end dan was like "Phil help unstrap me" clearly looking for Phil to unstrap him around the waist but Phil went for his feet instead lmao (Dan just wanted a reaction from us Phil lmao well done). Phil finally got the memo though and helped and then dan stumbled out being like okay get away from me don't touch me and Phil just giggled.

- The white protection suit lab coat thing got stuck on dans shoe so he was hopping around and Phil was like do you need a hand there and Dan said "no Phil I don't need your help to get me undressed" and everyone screamed and Dan was like okay okay shut up (idk if that was an intentional line or not I couldn't actually tell but... nice)

- Phil's diss track happened and if you're reading this you've probably seen a transcript of it already but damn hearing him say bitch live was the best thing ever lmao. Also when he said the line about not wanting to get demonetised he did the making it rain hand gesture (thanks anon) which was hilarious

- There was a point where Dan was like no Phil you can't swear on stage and Phil was like aw why not I wanted to say "what the (fuck)" mouthing it and that's more than I could have ever hoped for

- They did the song and it was v cute and got stuck in my head. When Phil got up and sat on the piano he was swaying one leg back and forth and it was adorable.

- They ended the show bowing and went back behind the black screen that they came out from and were waving the whole way through and Phil was bending down to wave as the screen was going down and it was v lovely :))

And then I died the end.

#phan #dan and phil #interactive introverts #ii spoilers #phandom #shut up sadiyah #100 #200 #300 #400 #500 #1k

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anotherfandomok · 6 years

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Interactive Introverts Richmond Summary! (Part 1 bc rambling)

Ok. My experience and a general summary. I'm gonna do my best I couldn't believe it was happening, before, after, or during it, and now I can't believe it happened. So.

I didn't get ready way too early this time! I loved my outfit it was so cute, and I drew whiskers on my wrist and my cousin did too :). I went over to my cousin's, and my aunt drove us to my uncle's office in Richmond. He took us to II it was so awesome of him. I was flipping out.

We got there and took pics with the signs and stuff I was vibrating and bouncing and shit I was so excited. We lined up and got in doors opened at six and it was a lot of little short lines so we got in really quickly. Immediately I wanted to go downstairs for merch.

We got in the merch line and like really like ahead in the line I was so proud of getting there so fast.

And I saw the like stand up thing background for the m&g?????? So I was like um wtf are they actually right there like thirty feet away from me? So I was watching it and had my phone ready to video. I SAW PHIL LESTER WITH MY OWN EYES LEAN FORWARD AND HUG SOMEONE. y'all you don't understand his hair is SO. BLACK. like it actually shocked me how black it was I guess it doesn't translate.

But anyway they had the last few people do the m&g, and then they left and Dan waved really quick and we all cheered and I GOT A VIDEO OF THEM AKFNDJSFBWJD.

Also, fan project tonight super cute just a pic of Virginia that said "VA LOVES YOU" I didn't know about it until I got there, but someone handed me a stack and asked me to pass them out and I was like um hell yes so I did that.

Anyway, we moved forward in the merch line and yo the line got so long I was so happy we went straight there omg. The merch setup was like really good! Very efficient they had a long table and everything up with prices and stuff it was so well set up and the guy who helped me was super nice.

I got both short sleeved shirts and the long sleeved shirt, as well as a hat and a poster, and my cousin got the hoodie, a poster, and the marble shirt. Cute as hell! It went really smoothly and quickly it was awesome and we just got right through.

We went to the bathroom and it had a lil ledge so we folded and organized our stuff and then went to the bathroom. Tbh the bathrooms there were REALLY nice, and not crowded at all when I went! The theatre itself was so nice you guys like I can't even believe how nice it was it was so fancy like pretty carpeted soft stairs and everything was so ornate and detailed and pretty. Just omg.

Anyway! Then we went and stood by the front doors for a bit and I handed out signs (if you saw me in the lacy white shirt and black shorts with short blond hair aye!). We sat in balconey D, so we went up (a LOT of stairs) and found our seats!

Seriously I can't overstate how gorgeous and amazing this theatre was so fancy with super soft seats and good room like it was so pretty and it had a ton of like Egyptian stuff on the walls omg it was so cool. Y'all. The set was GORGEOUS. Like the lights and the background and just. Wow. I felt so close even though we were the highest up, because everything was very stacked. We really weren't that far away even though we were towards the back like I could see the stage really well.

The set is so gorgeous wow. And I just jammed to all the songs on the preshow playlist it was so amazing I couldn't believe it was real.

Also Dan's Siri came on like twice and was like hi there's really nice merch downstairs and Dan left me to look at memes and stuff, and told us not to film bc iPads are bad lmao. (I filmed anyway don't arrest me).

Everyone FLIPPED SHIT when Welcome To The Black Parade came on oh my god it was so loud and amazing. The lights dimmed and off we went.

They opened with the really adorable video being projected omg my heart and then they rode in dramatically with their steam and everyone LOST THEIR SHIT it was amazing the crowd was so loud all night.

Phil read the Richmond Wikipedia page apparently (wow, nerd) lmao and talked about the rat basketball team. They literally mentioned the rat basketball team like at least six times throughout the show tonight y'all I'm.

Dan said shooketh at something at the beginning and I don't remember what it was but like djfndjsdbrb. Also he did the Naruto run the first time he ran off stage, and we all sCREAMED.

They did a smol duet of A Whole New World which I now know was inspired by the venue - it was so great though and Dan was like that's not what you want trust me it would start off good but it would quickly become horrible. It sounded really good though like I love them they should sing more.

I hadn't seen any spoilers about the beginning! They talked about what an introvert is and asked the introverts and extroverts in the room to cheer sjfbwjsj.

Dan had a six second challenge to pretend to be a llama sitnfndntkejr he pranced and did a noise we all DIED and then he was like "-NO!" it was hilarious sjfndjsnebd.

The segment about what they weren't gonna do had me shook I nearly died. "Please be gentle with the handcuffs; I have sensitive skin" IM DEAD.

Also when they went to walk up and pretend to strip and then they RIPPED OFF THEIR SHIRTS TO REVEAL IDENTICAL SHIRTS UNDERNEATH YOURE FUCKING KIDDING ME WHAT THE FUCK.

We were all really sad about the puppies so Phil said we'd get to see more puppies later in the show and we all screamed and Dan said if you're gonna promise puppies you better follow through.

When they offered to let people touch their hair I was like sjgbdjdbdjabfsn. Pastel personas skgbsjfkekfje??? They put on flower crowns and brought stuffed animals up to the front of the stage wow my heart.

They were like we're not gonna bring up a whole bunch of other YouTubers - because we have no friends and no one replied to our messages.

I can't remember for shit, but the whole beginning segment was just amazing. When they finished talking about how the show was interactive they were like "so that's why now we're going to make one of you stand up at random!!!!!!!" And they shined all the lights up and for a second it was chaos and then they were like kidding kidding we're just kidding and Phil was like your faces were priceless and Dan was like okay you can tell who the introverts and extroverts are the introverts are like crawling into a ball in their seats like "DONT PICK ME" I've never seen 3000 people curl up into a ball before. It was terrifying but also amazing!

Truth bombs! Honestly, I thought they were gonna do all the ones from the website, but they only did one each.

Phil's torture confession would be being bathed in cheese (Dan talked about if that included scrubbing, or if it included scrubbing under flaps y'all I was so done oh my god), but other options were mouth noises in headphones in his ears (to which Dan then did HORRIBLE and horribly loud mouth noises into his mic oh my god it was the worst thing my ears have ever heard ajtbcjejgsj *vomits* he said "not the asmr you came to hear, sorry") and ??? (Help I forgot)

Dan dreams about Nick Jonas in a fursuit at night ("the two things I lease wanted to hear right now, combined), but other options were a dark abyss ("no that's what I see when I look in the mirror") and a one direction reunion.

They would die from "Bees?" But other options were Dan falling out of the gaming chair and taking Phil down with him, and burning down the flat after setting a fire during a baking video gone horribly wrong (both of the runner ups they said were extremely realistic and plausible and they were like are you guys surprised we aren't dead yet we were all like yah). Dan was like where are the bees going to come from???? THAT FLAP keep you eyes on it.

We're real people with free will so you can't just make us do whatever you want, BUT we have made a simulation with a tiny Dan and Phil where you choose what they would do in completely normal, everyday situations that we experience in real life. Remember, tiny Dan and Phil still have emotions and can feel shame and guilt, so this is our test to see if you are responsible enough to be in control during this show - please do what you would actually want us to do if you were controlling us in real life.

Simulation! They have been working on this since they were FETUSES. Not babies, fetuses they were up in their mom's bellies with laptops editing this, and they spent billions of pounds and thousands of Richmond dollars (idk why they said Richmond dollars so many times during the show but sjtbsjdjd it was cute) on it.

Phil first he went to Barstucks (the simulations didn't want to get sued) and got a unicorn death frappe, with lots of sugar so he was vibrating, and he accidentally tweeted a picture of him in his underwear. Shirtless Satan appears and we all cheered for Satan they were concerned and Phil sold his soul to Satan to take the pic down bc he dropped his phone in his drink lmao. SATAN TAKES HIM TO HELL AND THERES DEMON DAN AND HE HAS A POTATO AND HE POTATO PRESSES PHIL TO DEATH FOR ETERNITY. then Phil was like "I still remember the feeling of a wet potato being pressed to my back" I was like sjbsjsjdsj ew.

Dan talked to the furry in the park and went to a furry rave (didn't show him the good Shiba Inu memes he had) and did body shots off of an otter and entered the ladydoor and slipped on the floor and died in his slothbear fursuit. Lmao rip (I'd already heard that ending though). Dan said the show was officially demonitized, and also said "there was an attempt" after people cheered for the good option lmao.

At the end they were like what a waste of all our billions of dollars and all the time spent editing as fetuses.

At the end of the simulation Phil talked about it being like a mob mentality and Dan compared it to fandoms and how if you like something and everyone else seems to have the same reason for liking it or whatever, the people who it especially means some thing to, their voices can get lost. And that's what this show is all about giving the people what they want and getting all the voices and stuff. Fandoms are often seen as one collective unit but you can't expect them all to want the same thing because they're all made up of very different individuals. Etc. It was good.

Our collective name was Kevin. We did a coordinated clap ("the asmr you do want to hear") it was the coolest fucking thing ever ajrnejfnej to build the hive mind. Then we chose a breed of dog for them to get "they just want us to get a dog Phil that's all they want" and Phil led it he was like I think I can get everyone to think the same thing, and we chose Fluffy the very terrifying Chihuahua it was so cool how they did it and that was the one I got so yay! They asked who didn't get fluffy and then they were like "that's okay that just means you aren't part of Kevin... YET." And then they just kept saying how we needed to get inside Kevin and stuff it was like okay wow.

Then we had the WHATS UNDER DANS BED. First of all that box is fucking hilarious, and I think Dan mentioned Phil just wanting an excuse to use props lmao. They explained it and then Phil brought out the audience participation balls "Phil has three balls." Okay. But they really emphasized how if you didn't want it you could just throw it to someone who did like they were so nice and understanding about it and when the music stopped Phil asked and made sure everyone who had one wanted it :). Also they were like keep the answers like amazingphil channel okay keep it PG. But it was actually a really cool concept and the lights went rainbow when they were throwing them around, which I LOVED! The three answers were an anthill but the ants are tiny dogs, a fursuit made of maltesers, and "I think he's trolling us and it's empty"/nothing. Y'all Phil was like has anyone seen a key under their seat and Dan was like wait what are we talking about wait no no I have the key akfnfjejd. They opened it, got the silver tube, opened that and got the scroll, and then they were like this has been in the tube in the locked box on the stage the whole time how could it possibly say what three random members of the audience said, and then they SLOWLY UNROLLED IT AND IT SAID TINY DOG ANTHILL, FURSUIT, AND NOTHING YALL I WAS SHOOK OUT OF MY MIND LIKE THE ONLY THING THAT COULD HAVE MADE THE SHOW WAS MAGIC AND THEY JUST DID THAT OH MY GOD. I'm still shook about it.

Then Phil took the banner and tore it up into like three or four big pieces and was like okay guys tear it up and pass it around tear and share I was so shook I was like oh my god I want a piece of that banner but obviously I was balconey, so they were ripping off pieces and passing it around and Dan and Phil were like omg it's like the walking dead down there "oh my gosh... That is.. violent." I was so shook that they did that like that was so nice and good like snejdbdabfbo.

Survey! Dan dabbed when he said statistics and Phil was like don't dab to statistics and Dan dabbed again and was like math *dab* there was so much unnecessary dabbing it was wow. Phil likes to use props and costumes so the brought out the glasses and clipboards YALL THEM IN GLASSES IN REAL LIFE 😭. Phil read the options for the audience participation one really dramatically and Dan was like "Phil wrote all the answers to these questions obviously" to which Phil replied "I wanted to make them spicy." 68% like audience participation, sixty some feel like they really know Dan and Phil (8% said who are Dan and Phil and Dan was like where do you think you are Shrek the musical? It was so good. I think Phil said maybe that's the parents. Incredible.) (Unnecessary third option bc Phil wanted to see what would happen - it used the middle screen) 40% like the sims the best, but pinof had 36%. Ditl had 16%, and baking and crafts both had four. They ROASTED the four percent who love crafts lmao it was great. (They spent the whole tour budget on the pie chart for the video series lmao it was FANCY) Sixty percent of people whlant Dan and Phil to give the people what Dan and Phil want, so I was really proud of us and Dan seemed surprised and happy about it he said Augusta was like ninty percent what the people want lmao.

ONE FINAL QUESTION WE ASKED YOU DAN OR PHIL BUT THATS TOO EASY NO WE ASKED YOU WHO WOULD YOU SACRIFICE BUT DAN NO ONES REALLY GOING TO BE SACRIFICED RIGHT THIS IS JUST A QUESTION ON A SURVEY IN A STAGE SHOW "I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT ABOUT DAN AND PHIL THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES... RIGHT?"

SUPER DRAMATIC SACRIFICE DAN OR PHIL "YOU MIGHT SAY I CANT CHOOSE TOO BAD THE WORLD IS FULL OF HARD DECISIONS ONE OF US WILL BE STRAPPED TO THIS WHEEL" PHIL SAID "ONE OF US IS GOING TO BE PUT IN MORTAL DANGER RIGHT NOW" AND THEN THEY BOTH JUMPED ONTO THE PLATFORM WITH THE WHEEL AND RODE IT BACKWARDS AND THEN INTERMISSION HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEYRE SO DRAMATIC AND EXTRA OH MY GOD IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

I'm forgetting so much but I'm gonna do this in two parts. Intermission seemed to come so quickly! It was at almost eight forty. Intermission was cool I stood up and stretched my legs bc as soon as I sat down my left leg fell asleep and it's still fucked up the. Some more jams though, and the last song they play was The Final Countdown lmao.

Quick note they are both so beautiful ??? Like?? I couldn't stop staring at their fucking legs oh my god and Dan's knees with his ripped jeans help. Also, I was mesmerised by the way Phil walks? And the way he runs and skips and does little jumps and shit? Like it's actually really graceful his legs are So Long and I'm just obsessed with watching him walk around omg. In summary - Legs ™

Edit: I totally forgot about the airhorn during Truth Bombs ajgbfjrnfsiej it was WILD Phil kept playing with it and pressing buttons to make noises before we even started doing Dan's, and Dan was like omg stop but we were all cheering because obviously it was amazing and Dan was like don't cheer when he does that you're encouraging him and we just cheered louder. (Phil also stroked the airhorn remote - the number of times some variation of the word stroke was said tonight..... So much)

At some point during the beginning they talked about why everyone loves the sims bc you can make people and make them do whatever you want and Phil was like like put a hundred sims in a swimming pool and remove the ladders and watch them drown slowly and I used to do that a lot as a kid does that say something and Dan was like that would explain a lot actually (I swear to God he said that phrase about Phil like three or four times throughout the show like wow). And Phil was like you could also make them woohoo with a skeleton or an alien and HE THRUSTED TO EMPHASIZE HIS POINT I WAS LIKE JESUS FUCK STOP PLEASE.

#richmond ii #interactive introverts #dan and phil #dnp #ii #ii spoilers #interactive introverts spoilers #dan howell #amazingphil #july 12th 2018 #altria theater #future #probably edit this

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justasmallbloginabigklainefandom · 6 years

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Rec This Thing: Interactive Introverts

Interactive Introverts in Amsterdam RAI, evening show on June 2nd

Story: Dan and Phil decided to give the people what they want.

My Story: Okay, fun fact, I bought my ticket on June 1st. When they first announced their tour, my friend Sammy immediately bought tickets for her and her sister and she asked me to come along.

I declined.

After all, I wasn’t that big of a fan of Dan and Phil and I decided that people who are actual fans of them could have my possible ticket. Fast forward a couple of weeks and I became fan of them and both shows were sold out. Yup. Bummer. Instant regret. Total sadness. So Sammy promised to tell me everything yada yada since I couldn’t go. Then just over 24 hours before the show, Sammy sent me a message that there were five seats left for €55.

Crap.

Okay, I decided to do it. Fuck work the day after. Let’s go. And boy, am I glad I did.

Rating (1 to 10): 9

Why?: QUITE DETAILED SHOW SUMMARY UNDER CUT, SPOILERS!

Alright, yup, I’m just going to write down everything, including the entire show. Or at least what I remember cause holla, this is done from memory.

Basically, we arrived in Amsterdam after a lot of panic because my bus didn’t drive so we were about to miss our train. I ran back home and yelled to mum to grab the car (called Snuit) cause HOLY FUCK MY BUS IS 6 MINUTES LATE AND WITH THE NEXT BUS I WILL MISS MY TRAIN FOR SURE.

But okay, Amsterdam. We got there around four? First we checked out the venue, which wasn’t hard to find because their matinee show had just ended, so we just had to follow the stream of fans who were leaving, and then we had dinner at this Japanese place. Then around 18:30 we were back at the venue. Only VIP was allowed to go in already, so we decided to buy merch. The place was packed, so they decided to already open the merch stand. Good thing we got merch (I got a poster) before the show, because other merch was sold during intermission and after the show. Almost no one got merch during intermission, because it was only 20 minutes long, and after the show the line was insane. Probably 2,5+ hours wait time.

We found our seats. We got split up. Sammy and her sister had a great seat (row 9) and I sat on the other side of the theatre in a balcony seat which was fucking great as well. They put on Dan’s playlist and that playlist was banging. Sometimes, Dan’s Siri interrupted. I mean, they were playing Hard Times when I entered the theatre- great start.

And of course they came on stage after Welcome To The Black Parade.

First we had a video kinda introducing danis not on fire and AmazingPhil and then they came in on a moving plaform. Like, their set was so minimalistic but also so great?

After the “Hello! Hi!” stuff they talked about being in Amsterdam (”Amsterdamn” - Phil) and how Phil is feeling a bit sick because he decided to eat tons of stroopwafels (strupwaffles, they called it). Dan called him out, because when you buy a pack of stroopwafels, they are obviously not supposed to be eaten at the same time.

Oh, and those poor foreigners aren’t used to shit ton of bikes in Amsterdam (or in the entire Netherlands tbh) so they were talking about how they almost got killed by bikers while crossing the road.

They were obviously telling us what to expect and all of that.

Then first, What are we not going to do. They acted out everything they were not going to do. I only remember the erotic roleplay, because they did cop roleplay and it was fucking hilarious (”Please be gentle with those handcuffs, I have sensitive skin” - Dan), and the part where they dressed up as their cute pastel versions.

Truth Bombs came next. Phil got asked something among the lines of: “What Olympic sport would Phil excel in?”

Keeping houseplants alive

I forgot.

SPORTS??? LMFAO!

(If anyone’s reading this… if you happen to know the missing parts cause you were at the same show, hit me up.)

Phil said something about how avoiding bikes in Amsterdam is a sport and then he procceeded to jump over the small hexagon on stage. He chose the houseplants.

Dan’s question was: “What is in Dan’s browser history?”

Fursuits (I think???)

I also forgot.

Something with Shrek

Which was ironic, because Shrek the Musical played at the RAI. I don’t remember what Dan chose.

Then, “How will they die?”

Demonetization

They fall off stage in a few minutes

I forgot….

Honestly, they kept talking about demonetization during the entire show. Every time they said something too raunchy, they’d say something like “We’re getting demonetized.”

I think the Simulator came next? Anyway Phil started out with ordering a unicorn frappuchino and he ended up being killed by Satan cause he tried make a deal with him to restore his twitter account after accidentally posting a sexy photo of himself in his pants. We cheered for Satan, and they kept reminding us of that during the entire show.

Dan was outside for once and got approached by a furry, did body shots of an otter, and ended up dying in an underground furry rave after he decided to use the ladies’ restroom.

After that, Phil synced us all as Linda, so hooray, we were all Linda. Now as Linda, we could continue to the magic trick and the audience participation. What is hidden in the mysterious box that Dan hid under his bed? Our three answers were: cereal, a panda, a fursuit.

I still don’t know how they did this trick. The box was unopened on stage all the time. Sammy and I first came up with this special electronic paper, but then we realised Phil gave it to audience members to rip it up and fight about it.

I only remember three questions asked during the Survey. There was apart about their favourite content and Dan was very happy to present it as a pie chart. Also “Do you think you know Dan and Phil?”

Yes

Who is Dan and Phil?

After joking about how all the parents answered the last answer, they noticed a small percent still answered no, and they talked about authenticity on YouTube and sure, they put themselves out there because they want to entertain people, but that they are still genuinely themselves and that they’re not faking it. But if you wanted to see the non-entertaining version of them, you’d be bored. (”On my sofa, with an overheated laptop on my crotch and a bag of crisps under my chin and me trying to eat them with my tongue cause I’m lazy” - Dan).

Then, of course the “Dan or Phil?” question and they presented the wheel and they made the most dramatic act one exit I’ve ever seen, and I am a Broadway fan.

During intermission, the two women next to me were talking about merch and I told them where to find it. Then I exited the theatre. Sammy’s sister bought Pringles and I bought M&Ms and the three of us were kinda shocked to see the queue for the merch stand. Those poor fuckers.

We went back to the theatre and I talked about the merch again, because I happened to know the whole merch stand and its prices by heart after looking at it for 45 minutes (hoodie €40, sweater €30, wristband €5, poster €10, Dan and Phil plushies €25, denim jacket €65, two t-shirts €20 and €25, keycord or whatever it is called €10, cap €15, woops I still know it).

Back to the show! Phil was on the wheel and Dan used a slingshot, a bow and arrow, and a bazooka. And afterwards Phil was showing off his ass while taking off that white body suit. He said he was dizzy and Dan dared him to jump over the hexagon again, but Phil refused.

Okay anyway the next thing I remember is the wholesome Daniel and X-Rated Lester part (”I’m already feeling naughty” - Phil). In the beginning they had this whole talk about authenticity and how they are still humans bla which was really cool. Since I am a recent fan, I completely missed the actual wholesome Daniel craze, but yeah, they talked about how they are actual people and sometimes, they don’t meet certain expectations of fans.

Also, at one point in the show, Dan was talking about God and he yelled “Spite me, daddy!” and I think it was around this moment. The entire crowd yelled.

Alright Dan had to sweet talk disturbing fan fiction, Hello Internet, and another thing uuuuhm. I don’t remember. Anyway, he kept saying “Oh for God’s sake!”, especially at the Hello Internet one.

Phil had to bad mouth cute animals, endless kittens (he failed), and ugh I have also forgotten his last one. The person who sent in cute animals sat in front of me and it was just absolutely amazing to see how happy she was to see her submission on screen.

Then the Dan vs. Phil friendship game. There was a lot of stuff, but I remember some. I can’t believe they shocked each other, but maybe that is because I’d read the Milgram Experminent earlier that week.

First, psychic connection. They both had to name the same number between 1 to 20 and they failed.

Then a dilemma. Dan got the dilemma: “Guest star in Infinity War 4 or Phil gets thrown in a pool of cheese?”

Phil had to choose between: “A billion dollars or Dan will never be able to see dogs again?” According to Phil, he’d buy two big airplanes and then merge them together for an ever bigger airplane.

Then the Dan or Phil or Rat. They both got it right. Phil just got a photo of something white, but he guessed that it was his own pale skin and Dan got some hairs and he guessed that it was a rat.

Trivia. Dan needed to name 3 pre-2008 Phil videos and succeeded. Dan thanked Phil for uploading his newest video about his his old deleted stuff. Phil needed to recall the kind of cake that Colin ruined and failed.

There was probably more to Dan vs. Phil but I am blanking. Phil got the big shock (”I’m Phil trash no. 1!″ - Dan).

Then the intimate moment. Or personal. Phil called it intimate and Dan just went “PERSONAL? DON’T CALL IT INTIMATE, IT’S PERSONAL” and then proceeded to point out that Phil has a degree in English language.

It was just so down to earth. There were three questions, and I remember two. The first person asked for an appropriate name for their zoo animal YouTube channel. I forgot the name they recommended, but they said it was great that this person had a clear theme.

I remember one person saying that she wants to be a singer but her parents want her to go into medicine and well first they were like “hey singing doctor!”. But they talked about how passion is important and how they both didn’t do what was expected and how they are much happier now (“Lawyer Dan is as awful as a singing doctor!” - Dan) but I unfortunately forgot the other two questions. It was just a really nice moment where both Dan and Phil just sat down to have a chat. Oh and they also talked about Phil’s apparent awful handwriting.

Then the power came back on and I think that is when the Awards happened? Glitter jackets af and a self-made statue (”Two naked men in bondage really represents Dan and Phil” - Phil, or something like that.)

The first category was: Best dressed pet as Dan and Phil.

A lizard wearing a flower crown while watching the video of Black Parade won.

A cat wearing Dan’s merch.

I don’t even know but it looked like Dan was riding Phil so that was that. I suppose it was a dog.

And then Most inaccurate expectation of the show

I fucking forgot first place.

Two hour long Hamilton reenaction with Chris Evans.

Them giving birth on stage.

Also the most annoyed parent was just incredibly funny. I remember the winners but hey I don’t feel comfortable just sharing their names cause… privacy. I know the winner sat on the second row and all kids were pointing at her and I guess Dan and Phil saw her and said: “This was probably the worst day of your life, thank you for sharing it with us!” “You probably thought you were seeing Shrek the Musical.”

And then back to the scripted part, aka the Big Finale. A dog video that has nothing to do with the show, PHIL’S DISS TRACK, Dan at the piano, and them singing a duet. This ain’t Broadway, but it was still kinda nice and just sweet.

And well, that is it. They runned around on stage, waving at everyone, saying goodbye. Then they stepped on their moving platform and they disappeared.

Some random things:

Phil kept calling a part of the set a “flap” which annoyed Dan.

Dan… just… couldn’t… stop… dabbing…

They hinted at a new gaming video that involves a lot of Dan’s screaming - coming next week.

So many pride flags in the crowd.

Phil and Dan sounds wrong.

There was one moment where a picture of Dan’s had pasted on a horse from My Horse Prince appeared with a text bulb saying “Ride me, senpai” but I don’t remember when that happened. I think before the Simulator?

Interactive Introverts kind of reminded me of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. There’s clearly a format and a script, but thanks to audience participation, no shows are the same.

But in all seriousness, as my friend Rowan @rothetree pointed out, the entire message of this show was about how Dan and Phil are just human. As Ro put it: “On a serious note, there’s a whole underlying theme to this show, which was them basically going “Hey, we’re real people, stop objectifying us"”. This felt so in line with what the three of us were talking about. Me, Sammy and Sammy’s sister had to endure a two hour train ride and we talked a lot about fandom’s perception on real life people they stan and how they sometimes reduce those people to the image they have in their minds.

Cause we were talking about stuff like real life shipping, and about how celebrities are being seen, and how the moment they do something the fans don’t like, you get all those moments of “X is not real anymore!”

Newsflash asshole, they are people with feelings, and just because you don’t want to see those feelings, doesn’t mean they don’t have them. For example, Sammy was talking about how one K-POP star basically got stalked at an airport and when he clearly showed his dislike of it, people were all “OH MY GOD HE DOESN’T LIKE HIS FANS HE IS SO RUDE HE’S NOT WHO WE THOUGHT HE WAS” and I gave the example of people saying Darren is “no longer himself” after he called out the people who are seriously threatening his fiancée and all that stuff.

Before the show started, we overheard two other fans talking about how they should come out bla bla bla, and just… no? That is so personal and we are not entitled to that at all?

To quote Ghostly, they are not our dolls. We can’t dress them up in whatever way we want.

I recently read I Was Born For This by Alice Oseman, which follows a band from the fans’ POV and through the band’s POV and how sometimes those things clash, and I feel like with Interactive Introverts, Dan and Phil wanted to show people who they are to avoid a clash like that. That’s why they kept talking about how they value authenticity, while they are aware of the fact that they are also putting on a show. Or how, when people have certain images of them, how unrealistic those images can be and that they cannot live up to the expectations, and therefore it is important for fans to realise that. The tagline is: “Giving the people what they want!” and they did that without having to change for the fans’ sake.

As Rowan (rothetree, not Rowan from the book I Was Born For This) said: "we don’t own their image or expect too much from them. Something about their interactions with us is changing in a really good way."

Because that exactly.

Since I am a recent fan and I got my ticket one day before the show, I wasn’t aware of the questions, but in the “Do you think you know Dan or Phil?” (as they said: or do you think we’re people putting up a whole show) I would’ve answered a solid “no”, because I always think it’s dangerous to say that you know a celebrity, but after this show, I’d vote “yes”, because the way they acted on stage and the way they conveyed their message of “yes, we’re putting on a show right now because we want to entertain you guys, but we still care about authenticity” was well done.

And that is what made this show so great and enjoyable. Yes, it was a show and there were scripted parts, but it was still very genuine.

Recommend?: Yes, please, just like TATINOF, put it online for sale!

#interactive introverts #ii spoilers #rec this thing #rtt: theatre show #dan and phil #dnp adam

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exotahu · 7 years

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The Bronycon 2017 big text post!

This is the longest thing I ever write but here is my of the 2017 Bronycon.

Lets get to it.

Thursday:

We met at Bill's house so we could travel down in two groups, since we had too many people to fit in one car. (8 of us, Me, Andrew, Justin and Ethan in one car, Kyle, Bill, Nick and Josh in another.) We managed to pretty much stay together and stopped at the same gas station together. It was the good-hot dog speedway. They only had two left and everyone looked at me like I was crazy for wanting gas station hot dogs. I ate those two and asked if they had any more. They totally did. I intended to eat a couple more but NOPE. Everybody else decided to try the gas station hotdogs and doubled up. Oh well, it was kinda funny. The next stop was Baltimore. There was crazy construction in the city, atleast around our hotel. Slowed us down a bit. Justin really had to use the bathroom, so he jumped out of the car in still traffic and went into a nearby subway rather than waiting until we got to the hotel. As soon as he did, traffic moved, like we thought it would. It was easy to direct him from there to the hotel though. They had the special keys, but there wasn't a wifi password this year. I'm a Marriott member so I got free wifi anyway though. We hung around for a bit and went to get our badges. Went pretty quick for us basic pass holders, only like 45 minutes. Not bad at all. Deposited our con things at the hotel. Went to Dick's Last Resort. Nick decided he wanted to arm wrestle me for some reason. I won. Of course the waiter saw this so he challenged me. I lost pretty quick, he was large. Might have been better had I not planted my elbow on the goddamn laminated menu, but what can you do? The funniest part was when he brought our drinks, he brought one. Left the others at the station thingy. I got up and got just mine. Then everyone else slowly did it. It was funny. Managed to place a Pokemon on the gym there too. Didn't last that long but was nice anyway. Then we went to Fells Point. Everybody went to a ramen shop but I decided to go to the bar trot early. I was the only one to actually sign up for it in our group. The original company running the bar trot apparently closed. I didn't know there wasn't to be one until a month before, and then I noticed a new company doing it but it was definitely very last minute for them. There were only two bars participating, neither of them being the admiral, which seemed kinda lame. However the Admiral, being awesome as it as, participated ANYWAY. They had the themed drink including the Great and Powerful Trixie. Drank a fuckton of it. They also had a Pinkie Pie and Applejack themed drink that I saw. Then the bartender made a Rainbow Dash drink by combining them all. It was fuckin' awesome. We then went to the Soundgarden because apparently it's just right there and back to the hotel for bed.

Friday:

I got up relatively early, think I actually got almost 8 hours of sleep. Decided to bring my bad Derpy cosplay. Product of a 3$ costume store clearance wing/ear/tail set and a shirt photo transfer. I actually went to opening ceremonies because A. I woke up for it on time, B. I didn't want to just book it to the vendor hall. It was neat, maybe I'll try to do opening ceremonies again. After that, I got to meet up with a group of people from a Scisetdaily (a really cute Sciset tumblr askblog thingy) discord server I joined, which was really cool. We hung out and ate some con food before we split off to do other things. I went to the vendor hall at this point and wandered. Bought one of the cool engraved lighters. It has Princess Luna on it. I also got some 4de plushies (Specifically Fluttershy and Trixie), a fantastic JoJo shirt and some a couple Cutie Corral plushies. Specifically the comic universe reverse world princesses. Apparently its their last year doing cons : (. Comics hadn't been set up yet so I held off on that. Then I bought an absolutely adorable Derpy playmat. Also I got to see something neat. The MyLittleTies booth had A VR demo for the occulus rift where you could wander around Ponyville. It was really cool, even though I had to take my glasses off I could still see well enough for it to be cool. And yes I totally want an occulus rift for this reason.... Sad my computer won't support it. It was sort of disorienting, but I'm sure if I used VR more, I'd get used to it. After this I went to the hotel and deposited my things and headed to the Fursuit photoshoot with a couple friends. Next was the CMC VA panel which was cool. I like the VA panels. I kinda just wandered around again after that before going back to the main hall. I was going to watch the comic creators panel, but the adjacent room had a tesla coil set up and i really wanted to watch them go. Ultimately ended up watching the tesla coils go cause I needed to charge my phone and that is where an outlet was. Caught the end of the comic panel though. I hate when two panels I want to see conflict. Ate some more con food and did a bunch of wandering. Went back to the hotel and switched to a normal shirt and prepped for bronypalooza. Hung out in the other room and played some splatoon2. Really wanted to see Vylet. His set was fuckin awesome. Other acts were really cool too. A lot more electronic music than usual for that early in the night. Then I did something different. Rather than stay at the palooza, I met up with everyone and went to the Anthology 6 panel. Fuckin hysterical. Everyone else went back to the hotel and I went back to the palooza to catch Silva Hound's set. Then went back to the hotel and went to sleep.

Saturday: Decided last minute to bring my Chrysalis cosplay. Ran into the guy I met at an Otakon a few years back, which was cool. I went to the vendor hall first. The comic booth had a box of variant covers for 5$ each. I dropped 60$ on comics. Then I found a Madoka playmat. I also got Bill to grab a movie playmat for me when they went to the vendor hall day 1. I got like 3 mats. I mostly just wandered and observed. Saw a dakimakura that was real funny bud I didn't want to drop 100 at that time. It was a cartoon-y chrysalis laying on a fuzzy pink background and that fuzzy pink background was Fluffllepuff. Next I got to meet up with the cool people from the internet again and we went to the Kelly Sheridan and Kyle Rideout panel as one big group. I thought of a q&a question but by that point the line was to infinity and I knew there was no way, perhaps another time. Once that ended I grabbed some food and went to the crystal arena. Bill and Josh wanted to see how the game had changed and see what the game was like now. They were running a novice tournament that was 10$ you got a deck to play with and two packs and at the end. It was neat learning the game again. It sounds like it really became good. They streamlined it a lot. Went to another fursuit photoshoot. Then we went back and got ready for palooza. I stayed the entire time this time. Really liked Michelle Creber and BlackGryph0n’s set. Chilled out and sat for one of the acts with Andrew and Ethan, needed to save my legs which were super sore. It was fantastic. Got to see Garnika, he's probably my favorite of all the regular artists there. I bought one of his shirts. Although I heard this might have been his last Bronycon? Infinite sadness if thats true. This is about when Kyle and Josh showed up. I also got a message that the fire alarm went off at the hotel. Everybody there had a clusterfuck, Justin slept through it. Turns out someone was vaping or smoking or some nonsense. then Andrew and Ethan returned in time for the end of Garnika's set and Alex S. Was a great time.

Sunday: Waking up was a bit rough since I hadnt gotten to bed until like 330-4. I wanted to go the VA panel but it was at 10 am (Goddamn who DOES that) but I was way to tired to get out of bed on time. I caught the end of it though! Then I went to the vendor hall. I was trying to avoid buying prints, but guess what. Bought so many goddamn prints. Again. Fuck. Oh well. I've tetris'd my walls before and I can totes do it again. Was trying to buy other neat things. I did too. I got a lazer etched geode slice and an edge lit acrylic pane. I really just hung out in the vendor hall with various people and looked at things. Also Nick got me a commission from an artist named Baron Engle. It's Lapis and Peridot as ponies in his style. Really fucking cool. Also bought another glass. Fluttershy this time. Was hoping one of the bands was gonna be at the Bronypalooza table but they weren't. Also had a print ordered to be shipped to me cause one of the print places printer broke. (There are certain booths that will sell art on behalf of the artists that can't be there.) Also bought a little digital nametag thing. It's pretty cool. I gotta get a cord to hook it up to the computer though. Wandered the con a little bit then deposited stuff at the hotel. We went to closing ceremonies after that. Ran into Garnika on the way there which was neat. Before it started we were playing music and everyone was just kinda goofing around. Closing ceremonies were cool. They said they were short 219 from their 33000 charity goal. So they asked the crowd if they could do that and SO MANY people got up to give them money (myself included). Turns out they made like 1200 $ They were then 10 short from 34k, and someone gave them 10$ We got our annual group photo and then headed to the Inner Harbor for some food and to play some Pokemon Go. Went to Bubba Gump's Shrimp Co. Place remains to be fucking fanstastic. Shrimpers Heaven is the best. While we waited for a table we managed to find a whole bunch of cool pokemon, Even did a Machamp raid. Found a fuckin Sandshew, Totodile and Mantine as well. Those are all things I've never seen around here ever. The Bronycon gym was blue so we couldn't do it yet decided to try later. I also evolved my first Gyrados. I decided to do it down there because that's where I essentially started my game. Went around an played some more Pokemon after dinner. The bronycon gym had changed but unfortunately the game broke real hard, we managed to get it down after a half hour of error-ing out a game crashes. Then we should have had it but it turned yellow in the clusterfuck. And no one had it in them to stand there for another half hour of broken game to beat one Blissey. We went back the next day but it had once again turned blue so we never got on it. Then we all went back to the hotel and watched the newest Rick and Morty while packing. Got our shit together and slept.

Monday: We got up and hung out before loading vehicles. Checkout and hotel exiting was pretty easy. Decided to hang around in the inner harbor for a bit. Got lunch at an Irish pub in the pavilion. Yay for pub burgers and vodka cranberries! Then went to do a raid. A bunch of us went to get ice cream, but I went to the bigass Barnes and Noble instead. I had been looking for the Daring Do books at the con but no one had them. Barnes and Noble had one of the ones I was missing. After all that we walked back and headed out. We tried to stay together but traffic was nonsensical so it was hard. Unfortunately a rock flew up and cracked Kyle's windshield. Minor but still annoying. We met up one last time in Wilkes-Barre at a Sheetz. I got some 2 for a dollar hot dogs and they were not good. After hanging out some they left about 15 minutes before us. We thought it'd be funny if we managed to pass them since they had such a ridiculously long head start and guess what? We totally did. It was funny. Got home after that.

Overall:

It was a good fucking time. Usually is. Bought some neat stuff. Got to meet some cool people from the internet. (Honestly, if any of y'all are reading this, even though it wasn't for that long at any given point you were all cool to meet and hang out with. I hope we get to again sometime.) It's honestly been a while since I've done that. It's funny, despite having done this the last 5 years, I don't feel at all burned out. Though next year, I think I'm going to do something different for my usual con photography. I'm going to shoot everything in black and white. (I accidentally left my camera in black and white mode for my first shot) I want to see how that makes things different.

(Also as always my memory is pretty butthole, and I essentially wrote this twice, so there might be errors and things I missed or got in the wrong order.)

#Bronycon #bronycon2017 #baltimore #innerharbor #convention #mlp #lets see if tumblr breaks the formatting

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thoodleoo · 7 years

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ridiculous ancient greek and roman pregnancies

yknow the christians act like they’ve got the monopoly on weird religious births with their fancy pregnant virgin but honestly the greeks and romans have got that shit down to an art and i just want to share with y’all some of my favorite absurb mythological pregnancies starting with the least and going to the most absurd (ymmv)

europa and the bull, aka furry level: beginner furry- zeus, seeing europa, fell in love with her (in zeus terms: wanted to bone her in the weirdest way possible). the best way he saw to do this was to turn into a beautiful bull and hang out in her herd until she noticed what a sexy bull he was. because this is greek mythology, this worked perfectly. europa climbed on his back and he carried her off and eventually revealed who he was. she later bore him three children.

pasiphae and the bull, aka furry level: full-blown fur- king minos was supposed to sacrifice a beautiful bull to poseidon. that bull was too sexy to sacrifice, though, so he kept it. this pissed poseidon off, and since the greek gods have absolutely no sense of what is ok revenge and what is weird and off-limits, he made minos’s wife pasiphae fall in love with the bull. so that she could have some raunchy bull sex, she made the inventor daedalus craft her basically an ancient fursuit so that the bull would think she was a sexy cow. she later gave birth to a dude with a bull head.

leda and the swan, aka furry level: what- zeus, seeing leda, fell in love with her but was apparently not satisfied with how weird the bull thing was. so he turned into a swan and seduced her. there are a lot of stories about this but my favorite one says that she slept with her husband tyndareus on the same night she slept with zeus and later laid two eggs, each one containing both a child of zeus and a child of tyndareus which not only shows a shocking lack of understanding about biology but also, what. apparently nobody seemed to think it very strange that leda just sort of popped out some eggs and was like well there’s my children since i can’t find any myths that say anything bad about this.

the birth of dionysus, aka the original mpreg- zeus, seeing semele, fell in love with her and thought, you know, the swan was cool but i don’t think i’m done with birds yet and i know i can up my game. so he turned into an eagle and visited her repeatedly (she was a priestess of zeus and was therefore well caught up on his weird sex antics). hera, zeus’s literal sister-wife, got really pissed about this, which, y’know, fair. so she visited semele as an old woman and befriended her. when semele told her about all the awesome eagle-sex she was getting hera was like lmao YEAH RIGHT i bet he’s not really zeus because god-sex is TOTALLY MIND-BLOWING. so semele’s like yeah well I’LL SHOW YOU and tells zeus to prove that he’s zeus and have sex with her like he would have sex with his goddess wife. zeus was like man, fuck, if i do that you’re gonna explode, but it was too late as he had sworn an oath on the river styx that he would do whatever she asked of him and not even gods will break an oath on the styx. so instead of having eagle-sex that night they have lightning-sex and semele, predictably, explodes. she happened to be pregnant with dionysus at that time but since he’s half divine i guess that’s why he doesn’t explode? instead i imagine his fetus kind of comically flies out and lands in zeus’s hands and he’s like ‘well, shit.’ zeus sews the fetus up in his thigh and a few months later, bam, thigh-baby.

the birth of servius tullius, aka i don’t even know what is going on anymore- well this ended up being the only originally roman story here but it’s a good one so i hope you will forgive me ANYWAY. so servius tullius is this cool king of rome whose mother ocrisia was a slave who became a vestal virgin, or one of the roman ladies who protected the eternal hearth of rome. in one story, she was tending to the hearth and offering a sacrifice into the flames when all of a sudden a giant levitating dick rose out of the fire. now, i’m assuming most of you would be pretty terrified if a giant levitating dick rose out of a fire and was like hey there, wanna have sex, but these are romans and they play by different rules and also giant levitating dicks were good luck to them. so yeah, ocrisia has sex with the giant levitating fire dick and gives birth to servius tullius. now, the wife of the current queen was an etruscan diviner named tanaquil, and when she found out about this, she was like bro that is SUCH AN AMAZING OMEN this kid is DESTINED FOR GREATNESS and that’s how the giant-levitating-fire-dick baby was groomed to become the next king of rome

#greek mythology #roman mythology #tagamemnon #this fascinates me a lot bc a lot of people who have periods and grew up christian admit to having a 'virgin mary crisis'#where they missed a period early on and thought maybe they were the next virgin mary even if they never had sex #so imagine that but with these pregnancies #'it's raining and i missed my period am i going to have a zeus baby'#tokophobia #queueusque tandem abutere catilina patientia nostra

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