wish i was a late republican roman girl

i would listen to speeches by cicero at the rostra. i would read caesar's commentaries on the gallic war in the roman forum. i would fear invasions from the germanic tribes. i would marry a man with a purple bordered toga and distinguished ancestors and follow the mos maiorum. i would get proscribed and have my property confiscated and be declared an enemy of the state

this is how your email finds me

Dionysus as grapes, detail from fresco of Dionysus on Vesuvius, Pompeii, before 79 A.D. Museo Archeologico Nazionale, Naples

he's a ten but he doesn't listen to his wife and goes to work after recieving an ominous prophecy that he might die that day

every day i wake up and i think about virgil

caesar is making me question the classics degree. if i see one more unnecessary relative clause i might just have to stab him

i hope nobody beat me to this one

(@kradnie has pointed out that lucretia my reflection actually came out in 87 but the top result on google said it was 85 for some reason so uhhhhhhhhhhh please ignore that)

I love it when the editor/commentator gets their knickers in a twist over the Romans' general lack of prudishness

had a dream where i was the border guard in papers please and a bunch of sheep went through the border crossing and their passports said that their names were no-one and they came from ithaca and then this random guy materialises from under the sheep and puts a BURNING FUCKING STAKE IN MY SINGLE EYE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CURSE OF POSEIDON UPON YOUR SMART ASS GOOD LUCK GETTING HOME YOU MOTHERLESS FUCK

I just going to drop this here

The way the double S in Odysseus, Ulysses and Odyssey, gives me a resemblance of sea waves is never going to stop being kinda beautiful for me

Ok hear me out: A sitcom centered around some classicists weirdos called "The Homer Theory"

man the whiplash you get from teaching advanced latin grammar to middle school students...one second you'll overhear one of them saying "you need to stop being so sus and start being skibidi" and the next they'll be explaining the sequence of tenses for participles to a classmate who has a question

what if the odyssey read like doctor seuss like. Tell me O Muse! Of a many-deviced man who wandered full many ways, and liked green eggs and ham.

what if we we started a cycle of violence on the streets of late republican rome and then took turns murdering each other. what then.

"I haven't read the Iliad yet"

"what?! why haven't you read The Iliad yet? It's a must read for classic enjoyers"

:

guys (me) will turn 19 and base their whole personality on the iliad