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#anyway. enjoy the revamp. i do like this one much better
astermath · 10 months
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nemesis; part two.
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pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader
summary: with carmen reworking the restaurant, you’d think his mind would be far too occupied to even think about anything else. yet he can’t shake the guilt from what he’d put you through a month prior. after some talks in therapy, he decides to take a leap of faith and see if he can talk it out with you. he not only wants to convince you that he can be better, but he's got an offer for you too. one you truly can't refuse.
♡ landing page ♡
word count: 4.9K
tags: carmen being unsure about his feelings but trying to be better episode 3265742, letting reader in a little more, APOLOGIES!!!, cursing ig, carm goes to therapy yippee, syd being the absolute realest, regular font below!
notes: sorry this took literally forever omg, I lost my carmen muse for a bit but we are SO back baby. I missed him so much and so sorry if some things don't follow the canon completely (I've been watching season 2 on and off bc I've been so busy lol BUT my fics never follow the canon completely anyways),, hope u guys enjoy and let me know if you'd like a part three ;))
lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list for further carmen berzatto related content! comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!
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Carmen’s life hadn’t known a moment of mental rest in ages. If you asked him when he last sat down with his thoughts or acknowledged his mental anguish, he probably would have said he couldn’t remember the last time. If ever.
With plans to completely revamp The Beef and everything that came with it, now his feelings should be the last thing on his mind. Renovation plans, unforeseen costs and a completely new menu, sure, he could worry his ass off about those, but feelings? Absolutely not. Good thing he was usually so good at suppressing those anyways.
So why was it that he couldn’t shake the thought of what he did to you?
Why, every time he had a moment to himself, would he be overtaken by this intense feeling of guilt? He didn’t even have to be alone, just a second of quiet and the image of you crying in distress would intrude on his thoughts.
It was getting to a point where he’d told his sister, Natalie, about it. Well, not all of it, he wasn’t even sure if he knew all of it. Just that he knows he hurt you, and that coming to terms with what he projected onto you might be a good first step in understanding himself better.
Or maybe it was something more along the lines of “I gotta talk my shit to some people”. Probably that.
To his surprise, it was actually helping. Besides the group therapy sessions where he’d talk about Mikey, the business and his future, he was talking to other people in his life too. Even told Sydney about you, kind of on accident. The words just seemed to… Flow out. It was probably the exhaustion doing its thing.
“I guess I just felt like,” he kept his eyes on the floor he was sweeping, “she was doing it all to fuck with me. I don’t even know where I got the sick idea that she had some obsession over me, but it— it drove me at the same time. It’s like her being on my heels at every aspect of culinary school just made me want to try even harder.”
“Maybe you painted her in that light because you knew it was a good way to keep pushing yourself.” Sydney spoke almost absentmindedly, sweeping the other side of the room. She listened to everything he said in the meantime, and though what he was telling her was a bit worrying, she was glad they got to have talks like this. Carmen often doesn’t like to bring up his past like that.
“Huh,” he paused sweeping for a moment, “yeah… yeah, maybe. Or maybe it was something else.”
Sydney wasn’t even sure he knew what he was referring to. It sounded like something entirely different, like a crush, but what kind of person treats their crushes like that?
Probably an overworked, pressured, overachieving culinary student with a dangerous need for validation. But she wasn’t about to tell him that.
“So yeah, I visited her restaurant, and… It just felt the exact same as back in New York, you know? Like she was rubbing it in my face again, and— and I know that sounds insane, or conceited, but I just can’t let it go. It’s like the thought of her is stuck to my brain like a stubborn piece of gum.” He wanted to smack himself for that stupid analogy, but what was said was said.
“So how’d you handle it?” Sydney’s head perked up, some of her braids now draping over her shoulders.
“Handle what?” Carmen became more and more uneasy the more he talked about you. Like his chest was tight, it was uncomfortable, but not in the way he was when the health inspection came by, it was different. Weirder. Unfamiliar. He didn’t like it, because he didn’t understand it.
“The talk with her.” She emptied the last bit of dust into the trash bag.
“Oh,” his mind took him back to the parking lot a month ago. The way he could almost taste the tears of your skin from how close he stood, he could hear the shakiness of your breath and the profound desperation in your voice when you apologized to him, when you really had no reason to.
If it was still so clear in his mind, then what must it be like for you?
“Carmen?” Sydney snapped him out of his oncoming train of thought.
“Yeah? Sorry, I— Uh, I don’t know it was…” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly finding it in his best interest to look anywhere else but her face. “Bad. It was— It was bad.” He looks a bit shameful when he meets her eyes. “I fucked up. I like, went all New York boss on her. And then I just… Left.”
His colleague just stares at him for a moment. She knew what he was like when he snapped like that, but that was with his staff, people he liked. So how badly did he snap on you, a person he’d been resenting for years?
“I’m gonna go take out this trash, and uh… Head home.” She lifts the grey plastic bag she was holding. “But uh, Carm?”
“Yeah?”
“You got issues, man.” She has a bit of an awkward smile on her face, but he knows she means it. He knows she’s right. She usually is.
He nods, silently, letting her words sink in. He did have issues, everyone knew that, but most people didn’t just say it. That’s why he liked Sydney, she was so real, so honest. She was so good for the business, for the kitchen. And maybe her saying that to him was all part of grounding him in the reality of it all. Of his issues, just that they existed.
“Heard.” he says. His voice comes out raspier than he expected, like he’s struggling to say it.
“Goodnight, chef.”
“Night.”
He’d thought about what Sydney said the entire night. He does have issues, he knows that, he’s just mad at himself for letting everything get this far before seeking help. It scares him. Because it reminds him too much of Mikey. Or what he heard about him when things got bad.
He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes his brother did. Lock people out of his life just because it seems easier, because it’s better to minimize the damage than to figure out why you’re doing damage at all. And yes it’s uncomfortable, yes it’s scary, terrifying even. But he keeps being reminded of how it must feel for you.
It’s something he’d never considered before. He always thought he had you all figured out, all fake smiles and backhanded compliments to distract him. It never occurred to him to just… Ask. It was always just easier to assume. It fit his view of you and it kept him going, even if it was at the expense of ever getting to know you at all.
He’s hoping he can change that with a few text messages and a long, probably uncomfortable, talk over coffee. Just hoping, trying, that’s really all he can do. He’s well aware of how bad he is at communicating, but he has to give it a shot. For you, at least.
He stares at his phone screen for far longer than is necessary, continuously rereading the messages he’d typed. His eyes keep flicking to your contact, making sure he sent it to the right person. The only thing you two had texted about before was a time and place for him to try your new restaurant. His heart aches at the exclamation points and emojis you’d sent; you were so excited, and he drove all that excitement straight into the ground.
He closes his eyes and shuts off the phone. His chest hurts, like he’s been holding his breath the entire time. Maybe he has. You could have that effect on him, making it harder to breathe. He always wondered why he had such nervous reactions around you specifically. He always figured it had to do with your one sided rivalry, but it feels… Different. More complex.
Your eyes are finally peeled off your computer screen when numerous phone notifications alarm you. Truth be told, you’ve been trying your best to keep yourself occupied as much as possible. That usually helps when you get waves of emotions like this, keeping busy, distracting your mind from overthinking.
Ever since your last encounter with Carmen, you’ve been so on edge. Always trying to do something, anything, so you wouldn’t have to think about what happened, why he acted like that to you. Because you know if you did, you’d just start blaming yourself again, and you’d be back to square one.
Your eyebrows raise at the name of the contact. You were sure he’d blocked you, or at least deleted your number after last time. He was avoidant like that, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you wanted him to talk to you again after that anyways. Maybe it was just to drive the point home, make you feel even more worthless.
Still, you were curious. Even if it was just to cuss you out even more, at least you knew what to expect, right?
[carmen]: hey, I really want to talk to you about what happened last time.
[carmen]: well
[carmen]: I want to apologise
[carmen]: but I can’t do that like this
[carmen]: I’d much rather do it in person
[carmen]: if you’d let me
[carmen]: meet me at odette’s tomorrow around 10? coffee’s on me, I just want to talk
[carmen]: please
The last message was sent minutes later than the rest, while you were reading them. He was desperate for an answer, and though you wanted to hear him out, to talk to him, something in you felt off about the whole thing. Like he was just doing this to clear off his own guilt, only to then ditch you just like he ditched you after culinary school. Because you’re rivals, apparently. That’s what you do.
But then there’s something else in you too. The part that’s still nostalgic about New York with him. About the glances back and forth when you were timed on preparing certain things, about the way he’d stare at you when you got feedback, the ignorant bliss you lived in. When you still believed he might have liked you just a little.
That part of you takes the upper hand when you reply and take his offer. Your heart is in your throat, nerves overtaking you already and you weren’t even with him yet. He had that effect on you sometimes, making it harder to breathe.
You wondered what that meant.
Carmen sits alone at a booth, all the way at the back of the café he’d chosen. It’s rather quiet, as most Mondays are, yet at the same time, it’s so loud. Loud in the way he hears the clinking of every spoon against porcelain cups, the crinkling of a napkin and the not so subtle ticking of the clock above the entrance. 10:06. You were late.
Suddenly he's filled with more regret than he's ever felt before. He's not ready to see you again, only to be reminded of how he made you cry, and of his own tumultuous emotions and shortcomings that lead to this moment. It's surprising how fast the emotions he associates with you changed; he's not angry anymore, he's scared, guilty, nervous. He wants to see you so bad and yet he feels like you'd be better off never talking to him again.
It's too late to make a run for it when you finally walk through the door. Hair a little damp from the rain, just a bit disheveled from what he could only assume to be rushing over to the café. And that same angelic smile you offer to the barista that greets you, the same one you'd offer him every morning, whether he looked at you or not.
He had no choice but to look now.
Your smile falters into something more nervous, a little melancholic, when your eyes meet his across the café. Though you knew he was going to be there, something in you feels surprised to see him again. Maybe it’s because he isn’t yelling at you or throwing insults at your head this time. Or maybe because he’s actually looking you in the eye. Since when did he get so good at that?
You sit down across him, taking off your coat and putting your bag besides you.
“Hey.” You smile again, much more awkward this time.
“Hey.” He returns the same thin lipped smile.
It’s quiet for a few seconds. Carmen swears the whole café has gone silent in that moment, leaving the two of you to listen to the sound of your own breathing and heartrate picking up. You’re not sure where to look, not being used to being in such an intimate setting with him.
“Do you want a coffee?”
“Sorry I was late.”
You both talk over each other, and the urge to chuckle about it overtakes you. Carmen can’t help but smile as well. You seem nervous, and somehow that puts him a little more at ease. Like he’s not the only one who’s in their head about it.
“Sorry, I, uhm, yeah— I would like a coffee.” You scramble over your words. “Please.”
“Sure,” he nods, “and no worries.”
“Hm?”
“That you were late. I haven’t been here that long either.” He lied. He’d been there half an hour early, cursing himself for letting him sit along with his thoughts for that long and psyching himself out into almost leaving.
You both order and another heavy silence sits between you two. You both know why you’re there, what needs to be talked about. Yet neither of you know how to bring it up.
You’ve lived most of your lives believing this version of each other you had in your minds. Because it kept you grounded. Because it was easier. He never let you in and for the longest time, you were at peace with that. You could have a slightly distant view of who he was, your classmate, your rival. And he could do the same. Keep you out, pretend you were there to keep him on his toes, to always try to outdo him.
Those facades of each other don’t work anymore. The real world has forced you to reconcile with each other, whether you liked it or not.
Your coffee gets brought to your table, and both of you feel this urgency to say something, anything, at least.
“The pastries here are good too, if you want to get one.” He finally broke the awkward silence. He can start with talking about food, something he knows. If all else fails, resort back to that.
“I haven’t tried a pastry besides my own in a long time. Maybe I could learn a thing or two here.” You admit. He knows that feeling. He’s not nearly as adventurous with his food choices as he wants to be, but as a busy chef on the brink of a new entrepreneurship, it’s usually beef sandwiches and frozen meals.
“I think yours were better though.” He takes a sip of his coffee.
“Huh?” You look up, realizing you were avoiding eye contact by staring into your cup.
“The danish I tried at your place. It was fire.”
“Oh. Right. Thank you, we make everything from scratch.”
“I could tell.” He takes another sip. “I guess I— I kinda forgot to tell you that. In the heat of it all.” He huffs to himself. “Food was so good it made me upset.”
“Upset?” His word use frustrates you. Upset is when they forget to give you your sauce with your order. What happened back there was not upset. That was rage. Wrath. You raise an eyebrow and he realizes he said something wrong.
“Well, more than upset. Listen, I— We need to talk about what happened.” His blue eyes peer into your own. They’re almost distracting enough to avoid you noticing his fidgeting hands.
“I’m listening.” You lean back slightly in your seat. You’d played nice with Carmen all your life, given him every chance to return it. Now it was his turn to try.
"Right." Of course he has to talk. It's his fault, isn't it? He's the one who snapped-- why did he even imply you'd have to explain yourself? He runs a hand through his hair, and there he goes again, eyes darting across the café to find something to focus on as he sought out the right words. You'd almost find it endearing, how bad he is at this, if it wasn't so important to you.
"You don't do this often, do you?"
"What, like-- meeting up for coffee?"
"Talking about stuff. Your feelings and shit." You hid your slightly amused smile behind your coffee cup before taking a small sip.
"Oh. Yeah, no, I-- I don't. Not until recently." He takes a deep breath. Just like they had told him to. “I’ve been going to this therapy thing my sister recommended. S’not much, but… It’s a start. Talked about the restaurant, my brother—“
“Your brother?” Your eyebrows raise slightly.
“Yeah, my— my brother. Mikey.” He looks a bit surprised. He’s come to the shattering realization that he’s never told you anything about his personal life, ever. You don’t even know about one of the most important people in his life, his main drive. You’ve known each other for so long yet you know so little. “I never told you about him?”
“You never told me anything.” You answer curtly. “We never really… Talked, you know?”
“Yeah— yeah, you’re right. I just thought… Wow.” He smiles, more out of shock than anything. He feels so stupid. How immature is it to be feuding this much with a person who doesn’t know anything about you?
“I guess I really don’t know much about you either.” His fingers rake through his messy curls again. “Makes me feel like even more of an idiot for going off on you like that. Like I had you all figured out.”
“Yeah, that was uh... That was something." The mood shifts a little. His smile fades as soon as he sees the melancholy in your eyes return. Of course it wouldn't be that easy for you to forgive him, to feel better about all this. "You know, I never knew you thought of me like that." A small smile graces your features. Somehow it's sadder than the expression you had before.
"I mean, I knew you didn't like me. I was pretty much at peace with the fact that you were never going to like me, either. But I never thought you hated me that much." You sniffle, trying your hardest to blink away any oncoming tears. "Like your life, your entire career, would have been easier without me there at all."
His heart aches at the sight of you, all teary eyed and trying to be brave. You're much braver than him. Sadness is a much harder thing to express than anger. He's starting to figure that out more and more.
"I don't hate you." He starts. He sees the confusion contort your features, and he knows he's not making any sense. "I mean I did-- I did hate you. Or, maybe not you, just... The fucked up idea I had of you. And-- and that was on me, that was my own fault." He feels an urge to touch you; to rub your back, hold your hand, anything to comfort you. It's tearing him apart to know that he's the cause of all this.
"But why?" A single tear rolls down your cheek, leaving a wet streak on your skin in its wake. "Why did you think that about me? I-- I get that we had a little rivalry going but jesus Carmen, did you really think I spent my whole culinary school career trying to outdo you?"
"To be honest... Yeah." He feels ashamed. So ashamed. He hopes the waitress doesn't walk by and listen to any of this, see you crying, and make you feel even worse. "Cooking was always just... My thing. If I was good for anything, it would be that. So seeing you do so well at something I'd started to base my whole existence around, it made me jealous, so fucking jealous." He meets your eyes, even if it's hard. You have to know he's being sincere.
"And it's-- it's unfair, it's so unfair to you, I know, and I'm really fuckin' sorry. I'm trying to work on myself, on everything, and I hope I can prove that to you." His face has that red tint you recognize whenever he's nervous or stressed. You can tell this is taking a lot from him.
"Is that really all? You were just jealous?" Your voice is quieter, fragile almost.
"I don't know. I wanna think it's that simple but I really don't know. There's a lot I don't understand about me, or you, or us. My mind doesn't know how to react when I see you anymore I think, now that things are different." He takes a deep breath, like saying that took a physical toll on him. "You have this-- this weird effect on me, and I don't know how to cope with it. I think it was just easier to be mad at you than to be anything else."
Anger is easier to express than sadness. The easiest out of all emotions, actually. Sometimes a little too easy.
You look to the side, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. You huff out something close to a laugh, and though he’s caught off guard by it, he doesn’t mind it. Even if you’re laughing at him, at least that means you’re not crying.
“You’ve got issues Berzatto. You know that?”
“Yeah. I’ve been told.” He smiles, and it’s heartfelt this time. Not nervous, or sad, or awkward. He’s happy to see you a little more at ease.
“It’s just really crazy to me.” You trace your finger over the edge of your coffee cup as you talk. “I spent so much time in culinary school looking up to you. And then I find out you were always just trying to keep up with me.”
Carmen’s eyebrows raise a little at your words. “Looked up to me?”
“Yeah, like… Your drive, your passion, it’s so impressive. Always looking to improve, to do better, it just— it inspired me to do better too. As cheesy as that may sound.” You smiled. “S’why I opened up in Chicago, you know.”
“Really? Huh.” He leaned back in his seat.
“Because I wanted to work with you. Or for you. Either would have been fine with me.” You sigh. “I like owning my own place, but… I don’t know, for some reason I always imagined us working together.” You smiled. “Is that stupid?”
“No,” he replied quickly, “no not at all, I— I totally get that.” He’s quiet for a few seconds, and you can practically hear the gears turning in his head when he stares at you for a moment.
“I mean you’re a remarkable chef, really, like— insanely remarkable, and, well, we’re revamping the restaurant completely right now. We need people— more people, new people, and so, I was wondering— or I’ve been thinking—“ He stops himself from losing his breath from all his rambling, before he freaks you out even more than he already has.
“I want you to come work for us at the Bear.” He puts his hands together, as if he’s about to beg. “Please.”
You can almost hear yourself blinking out of confusion. There’s suddenly no more loud silences, no, the café seems dead quiet for once. All you can do is stare at him, wait for a laugh, because clearly this was a joke right? There’s no way Carmen Berzatto, chef supreme, arch nemesis of yours, would want you anywhere near him, let alone work in his own establishment.
“I’m sorry?”
He feels stupid already. You had every reason to say no. He’d been the biggest asshole in the world to you, he’d kept his distance all his life, and now he expects you to be his employee. Or, well, colleague, more so.
“I’m uh— we’re redoing the restaurant entirely. New equipment, new staff, new everything.” He swallows; the thought of everything that needed to be done arises for a moment. “We need people that work hard, who know what they’re doing and who are passionate about it. And I barely know anyone who’s better at what you do than yourself.” He pauses, waiting for you to stop him. But you don’t.
“So I’m asking if you’d work for me. With me. It won’t be anything like old days, if anything I— I need to learn from you.” He scoffs at himself. “Could take a thing or two about how to communicate with my staff.”
You smile, and he genuinely thinks you’re about to start laughing at him. You chuckle, but it’s not mean, it’s honest. Cute.
“You know, you have great timing.” You grin.
“I do?” the smile on his face reflects the hope he feels.
“One of my chefs wants to take over the place for me. Well, has been wanting to. I haven’t had an exact reason to say yes to her yet.” You shrugged. “Guess I do now.”
“…Is that you saying yes?”
“It’s definitely not me saying no.” Your eyes meet his, and there’s something between you both that’s different now. It’s not like there’s a switch that’s been flipped. It‘s more like this conversation was the turning page of a new chapter.
“I’ll think about it. I want to see it first. Maybe talk to some of your staff.” Carmen’s chest strains a little when he thinks about you interacting with Richie. Then he’s reassured when he thinks about you interacting with Sydney or Marcus. You’d fit in well, you have great feeling for people.
“Yeah— yeah, I get that. Totally. I can arrange that. Uhm, we’re renovating right now, actually, it’s all really kinda wild, but if you wanna stop by, chat with Syd, or Nat, or talk about the plans, let me know. I’m sure they’d love to talk to you.” He’s not lying, you seem like you’d get along well with them. Especially Sydney. Your thinking processes are very similar to each other. And to his.
Carmen gets the bill, even though you try to pay for it.
“It’s just a coffee, just let me get this one.”
You let him have this one, simply because you can’t argue with him after the conversation you just had. You’re in too good of a mood after his proposition too.
He walks you to your car, hands in his pockets when you reach it. It’s cold outside, and his breath comes out in visible puffs of air. His nose is a little red, but you think it looks cute.
“Thanks for coming, by the way,” he starts, “I know you didn’t have to. Like— after how I acted to you. But— But I really do appreciate that you’re givin' me a chance here.” He’d always been confused about how positive and faithful you were in people. He never thought he’d be grateful for those exact features too.
“No worries, I… I had a good time. I’m glad we talked.” The keys jingle as you fidget with them. Among them is a keychain in the shape of a cherry, he recognizes it. It reminds him of how little you’ve both changed. And how much.
“Yeah.” He sighs. Relieved, almost. “Me too. But I’ll let you leave, might wanna tell your chef the good news.”
“Good news?” You quirk an eyebrow.
“That you’re selling them the business.”
“I haven’t decided yet, Carm.” You scoff. But he can tell you have, you look too excited about it all to not have your mind made up yet. It excites him too. Scares him a bit as well, but what’s a new chapter without a bit of tension?
“Right. Sorry.” He huffs. “Just text me when you wanna head over to see the place. It’s uh… It’s a work in progress, but it’s getting somewhere.”
“I believe you. I’m looking forward to it.” You lean back against your car a little.
“Yeah. Me too.”
“See y’around?” You unlock it and walk up to the driver’s side.
“Course. Uh, don’t be a stranger.”
You grin, leaning down to get into the vehicle. “Never with you, Berzatto.”
He watches you drive off, standing in the cold for far longer than any sensible person has any business standing there. But he feels good. He feels warm.
He thinks about what you said to him before you left. You were right, you were never a stranger to him. You were always like a constant in his life; whether you were actually present or not. And even if he didn’t know that much about you, which he was insistent on changing, you were never a stranger.
Never with him.
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tag list <3
@beebslebobs @thatone-brightstar  @spr3id  @deadandstill  @777iii  @magicboytrash  @dogdevourer @wiipes @sierrahhh  @crayzmarvelfan800 @azxulaa  @astridyoo15   @rexorangecouny  @azxulaa @jointherebellion215 @diorrfairy @chanluuvr @idontexist-anymore @wolfiealina
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nondienary · 4 months
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i saw this post sharing designs of the infinights in GL2 and it inspired me to share my own! enjoy (i guess)
and obligatory spoilery rambling warning because character design makes me so happy
starting off strong with kyborg!
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details i enjoy- his blue hairties and gold ear cuff are inspired by the ones he has in the picture on the home page of the stinky dragon wiki. im especially happy with the ear cuff because it turned out way better than i expected.
i also really like the arm (and yes i know he doesnt have the diagem in it anymore but it needed some pizazz! said pizazz made me temporarily hate myself because it used up his 4th face accessory slot but i don't even remember what other face accessory i wanted for him anymore :P)
also his boots. idk why but i like them
his hair!! i went through a bunch of styles and chose this one and i'm glad i did because this is a pretty accurate representation of how i imagine his hair, including the color! his mom was a redhead so ya boi is a strawberry blond (ish)
details i do NOT enjoy- the fact that gl2 doesnt have a hip quiver :( because i had to add the quiver to his back but that took up his second cape slot so he couldnt have his cloak of many fashions. and also even if i could give it to him w the back quiver i would still want a hip quiver because i imagine him with a hip quiver! because you can't do somersaults barrel rolls with a quiver on your back!
anyway
i probably should have made these separate posts but oh well you signed up for rambling and rambling is what you get!
next up: mudd!
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loml
details i enjoy: his cloak, i spent ages on it because i was overthinking what to do with his cloak of billowing vs his cloak of the secret garden (?) but i'm very happy with what i settled on
the detail in the undercut drove me crazy because again, characters are limited to 4 cace accessory and i was using one for the runes in the undercut. which i obviously changed but that brought me so much pain and misery /lh
im so happy with how his face, especially his eyes turned out because again, i struggled with them for some time. but now his face is SO perfect. except the lack of sideburns.. maybe something with the side hairs? i keep forgetting that's an option in this game
the little daisy earring. spur of the moment addition, so glad i did it.
details i do NOT enjoy: his outfit :( for all the others i knew what i was going for but with mudd i had no clue other than the cloak. it's based off his puppet outfit because i legitimately couldn't think of what he'd wear. i like the shoes and choice of belt but between this and the sideburns mudd is definitely next in line for a redesign
ok someone who was just redesigned is gum gum!
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details i enjoy: his face. that is such a gum gum face. wish i couldve added bigger tusks though. and the lil smudge of dirt on his cheek!!!
silly almost easter egg i added is that each of the colors of the rainbow is in his design at least once because dia's whole thing is rainbows and light and stuff. at first i just had it in the accessories and his whole outfit was blue pretty much but i looked at bart after completing all the accessories and i was like GODDAMMIT he has all the colors. and it's actually incorporated into the outfit AND it looks really good.
the fact that vee and i both designed his hat nearly exactly the same completely independently of each other is so epic.
i originally came up with the shoulder flower while working on mudd but i was like "oh wait gum gum's the flowers guy mudd's the animals guy." and gave it to him instead. and i'm very glad i did it fills in that space in the cloak very well.
speaking of the cloak, i very much enjoy it
things i do NOT enjoy:
honest, nothing comes to mind! maybe it's because he was the most recent to get revamped but its so wonderfully gum gum.
and last, and maybe least in stature but not in much else, bart!
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things i enjoy about this design: the little thigh dagger. bart is totally the kind of man to strap a dagger to his thigh instead of just attaching the sheath to the belt like a normal person
i made him VERY visibly part dragonborn because it's honestly hilarious. because gum gum has known bart since he was a baby, he knows bart's just Like that. kyborg hadn't interacted with another person in like 30 years before he met them and mudd had probably never seen a halfling in his life, and even if he had, he wasn't just gonna have his first conversation with the guy be "i don't believe you when you say what race you are." tbh mudd's probably applies to kyborg as well. and bart assumed its just because of the different subraces of halfling. he's a stout halfling, alleve is a lightfoot halfling, no wonder she doesn't look like him!
also the hem of the pants is so fun and piratey and i love it and it's perfect.
i also gave him a crystal resembling his diagem, i haven't decided what's going on with that yet. i didn't give mudd one because no way in hell am i trying to make a ring WITH a diagem in it. how about no :3
things i do NOT enjoy: gl2 doesn't have enough curly hair options, specifically for rear hair. so bart's hair in this is not as accurate in this to my mind's eye as the others. its alright it does look good regardless
and that's all ive got in terms of commentary, please enjoy me talking about my silly little hyperfixation guys. byebye!
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ordin-arily · 1 year
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Ghosts, Goblins, and Good-for-Nothings
i was intending to keep my tumblr for requests alone but please enjoy this halloween drabble in the spirit of spooky season! 🎃🖤
Notes: fem reader, 2nd person pov, language, mentions of street harassment 
Halloween is on a Monday this year. It’s not great for trick-or-treaters—never is on a school night—but for every other enthused fan of the holiday? This means three days of non-stop festivities.
Saturday in its entirety is booked to the brim with plans for pumpkin carving, hayrides, costume contests and, later in the night, throwing back October 31st-themed shots 'til you puke orange and purple sparkles.
Sunday morning is for recovery and what Leo dubbed Boo-zy Brunch in the group chat. Pumpkin Pancakes, Candy Corn Crêpes, Witch’s Brew (re: coffee), AHH-vocado Ghost, and Devilled Eggs are all on the revamped menu at Pepe’s for the season—and how could you possibly do without a few Bloody Marys? (The words come from Mikey because you can fair just fine without that tomato juice concoction monstrosity. And, come to think of it, you’ll probably be so hungover the mere smell of alcohol will be enough to deter you regardless of the potion it comes mixed in.)
Sunday afternoon is reserved for horror movie marathoning and engorging on the candy meant for some infant-sized ghosts, goblins, and ghouls ringing your doorbell the following evening, which is a dangerous game because they promise tricks without the tempting of treats.
These plans had been months in the making and you couldn’t have been looking forward to it more. Still, this left you with a vacant slot on Friday night. The spot blinked at you on your calendar mockingly, like a neon sign on its last leg. How could you not have plans with anyone else?
In hindsight, you probably should have begun asking around a little earlier than the day of. You love the Mad Dogs—obviously—but two back-to-back days are probably about all the celebrations you can manage.
You send out a few texts after class and plan to try some more on your commute home.
Nothing of the sort transpires.
You end up walking through your front door sort of dazed and out of it, lost somewhere inside yourself.
You’re not sure how much time passes where you sit motionless on your couch, feeling just as trapped as you did on the subway fifteen minutes ago. Eventually, you get up to change clothes. You fish out your favourite seasonal crewneck from a bottom drawer. It’s soft and comforting and it has the words Halloweentown University plastered across it with an outline of the famed pumpkin at the centre. It’s your best attempt at saving face, if only for yourself.
You peel out of stiff jeans next and replace them with plaid sleep shorts. It’s not the most cohesive outfit—especially not with a full face of makeup and all your jewelry still on from the day—but it makes you feel better than you did before so you leave it on.
Your feet shuffle slowly, numbly, one foot in front of the other until you reach your living room couch again and smooth your fingers over your phone screen absently. It’s already dark out with only one sliver of teal haloing the horizon. You mull over sending out another text.
If you’re being honest with yourself, there’s only one person you really want to see. It’s becoming more and more of a regular occurrence and you try not to beat yourself up over it too much. He’s good at making people laugh and you like to laugh.
The odds of him being free this short notice are slim but you shoot him a message anyway and stare off into space until his response comes.
Miraculously, he thinks an early movie marathon at your place is an awesome idea and asks if you’ve already eaten. You lie and he tells you great, he’ll just bring snacks then.
Somehow, that little text bubble makes it easier to breathe (and think and move) and you get up to toss a bag of popcorn in the microwave. You wonder if he’ll beat the timer.
Leo, never one to lose a challenge, indeed proves successful. His circle of cerulean light appears just six seconds before your microwave bellows at you.
You're pouring the bag out into a large bowl as you greet him in the most uplifting manner you can muster. You fall into light, engaged conversation—mostly about the snacks he opted to bring—and, before long, the two of you end up buried alive in wrappers, Cheeto dust, and popcorn kernels.
You try to keep concentration on the TV screen, you do. Leo's laughing and making comments that you would find downright hysterical—possibly some of his best material yet—if you had it in you to listen, but your mind continues to derail, veer off course, sink into terribly murky waters below.
You’re drowning by the time he pulls you up to surface.
The screen is paused and you have to focus on it for a few seconds to remember you’re supposed to be enthralled in the campy 80s thriller he picked out. Leo’s eyes are trailed on you, like he’s gathering all the info he can just by sizing you up.
“Sorry, what?” you have to ask.
Leo’s brows knit further. “I asked what was wrong. You seem… I dunno, distracted.”
He’s right. You hadn’t even noticed him grab the remote to pause the film, forget trying to recount any of the plot.
He’s been observing you for the last little while—the way you seem so far away.
Hollow stares don’t suit you.
You shrink a little. “No. Sorry. I’m good. Just, uh… It was a long day, you know?”
He throws an arm around the back of the couch and angles his body more openly toward you. A silent invite.
You sit there in the dark for a long moment. The silver glow reflecting off the colour of his skin makes for something supernaturally beautiful but this observation is merely a form of stalling.
A small, defeated breath wilts your posture. “Some guy kept taking pictures of me on the subway today and, honestly, I’ve just been kind of mentally fucked by it. It’s so stupid but I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“He did what?”
You have to fixate your gaze on one of the empty bowls on your coffee table to keep your face from twisting, but the tears are already forming and they don’t yield for anyone.
April is tougher and more resilient than you—you know this—but you kind of take pride in coming in a close second. You’re loud about injustice and rant and rave about pet peeves all the time. Mostly for comedic purposes, sure, but you like to think you’ve got a backbone built from the same stuff as hers. A similar brand of gall that has the two of you teaming up to fight… whatever it is that needs to be fought, really. Suddenly, you wonder, not without a payload of shame, if maybe April’s been doing most of the heavy lifting this whole time.
“I should’ve put my hand around his neck and told him to delete them but I just sat there like an idiot until it was time for me to get off."
You can feel the mascara and eyeliner getting into your eyes and it makes all of this a lot more uncomfortable. Though, still not quite as uncomfortable as you felt today so you decide this is fine.
Your fingers reach high to tug at the elastic holding your half-up bun in place, if only to give yourself something to do.
You don’t get to fuss a ton before Leo’s wrapping you up in a hug. “Don’t call yourself that."
You blink slowly and heave a shattered sigh into his shoulder.
“That’s messed up,” he continues. “And if you can paint me a portrait, I’ll hunt that creepo down and kick his ass.”
“I wish I’d done something,” you mumble.
He pulls back and doesn’t say anything for a long moment, sort of like he’s weighing the words in his mind. “That’s not... your responsibility. You don’t have to manage the shitty things people do to you.”
You're not anticipating that out of him but, weirdly, it's what you need to hear. You nod, unexpectedly entranced by all this.
“Don’t worry about him, okay? Donnie’s insane with this kind of stuff. He’s got facial recognition tech better than the CIA's and he can tap into any electronic device in the state, probably the country. He'll track the phone and wipe it clean in under an hour without even moving from that stupid-comfortable gaming chair he never lets any of us sit in.” His voice goes sort of bitter at the tail end there and it makes you giggle.
Leo smiles at you.
“C’mere.” And then he’s hauling you in close, incentivizing you to lie down with him, willing some of that tension out of your shivering frame. (You hadn't realized you were shaking so badly until his palms came up to rub warmth up and down the length of your arms.)
You stay there for a little while as Leo starts the movie back up. Neither of you is really watching but that’s okay. You feel better knowing justice is afoot, even if that makes you some vindictive low-road traveller.
“I wish I could go everywhere with you. Be your little bodyguard.”
You snicker. “You just want to wear aviators and an earpiece.”
“Come on…!” Leo whines. “I’d look so cool! And you’d get 24/7 personalized security. All I’m seein’ are wins here.”
You hum. “I’m inclined to agree, Nardo.” There’s a space of silence where you have to keep from replaying the incident in your mind per Leo’s request. (He told you not to worry and you intend to follow through on that.) He must sense your labours, though, because he goes on with his scenario.
“Eh, scuze me, Mr. Sleazy Scumbag, sir, no flash photography,” he proclaims, voice getting somehow more nasally than usual. “I know it’s hard to resist capturing such model-like energy but I’ll have to ask you to exercise some self-restraint.”
You put on your best manly impression, voice descending somewhere that is comically deep and husky. “Uh, I’m trying to exercise my personal liberties, here, my dude. It’s my constitutional right—nay, my duty—on this earth to harass women and be a colossal piece of shit.”
“Sir, I won’t ask you again.”
“Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it, tough guy?”
You’re not sure what kind of response you’re expecting but it is nowhere near one that includes being tackled to the floor and pinned down in an ambush taking the form of hellish tickles. You laugh and squirm, only marginally resentful over how easily this boy manages to lift your spirits.
He shows you mercy quickly enough, declaring, “See, I don’t even have to use violence to take down my opponents. God, I’m good.” And then he’s leaning down, whispering secretively to you: “But I wouldn’t be nearly as friendly with that clown. Trust me.”
“I do,” you tell him, and Leo has to hide the surprised elation that glosses over his face.
You grin and grab for his cheeks with your palms. “You’re so important to me.”
For someone who talks all the time, it's unbelievable that he can’t find the right words to reply. In lieu of anything verbal, a chaste peck finds its way to your forehead. (Well, it’s not like that isn’t a welcome response.)
“I should go wash my face,” you shrug sheepishly from under him. “Bet I look like a raccoon right now.” (You might have to play the lottery if it turns out your undoubtedly smudged makeup has somehow slid itself back into place.)
“Prettiest raccoon I’ve ever seen.”
“You’re sweet.”
Leo pauses the TV once again as he waits for you and the screen goes into sleep mode, transposing stock images of landscapes he’s finding it difficult to trust are real places that exist.
In this lapse, he takes the opportunity to look around. Tiny pumpkin fairy lights are strung up along the cupboards in your kitchen. Next to him, the napkins are patterned with ghosts and bats. Your bowls are colour-coordinated. The one harbouring the Doritos he brought is forest green, sporting the cartoony face of Frankenstein’s monster. There’s another with Dracula and a third violet one that doesn’t at all fit in with the others. There's just some random, unknown witch on it. Leo’s bottom lip juts out disappointedly.
A platter of chocolate-covered pretzels sits off to the side of your small table and Leo helps himself to one. And then another and a few more, until he ends up unveiling the eyeball motif on the ceramic. There are scarecrows on the matching one on the other side of the table, that one brandishing the fluffiest sugar cookies he’s ever tasted.
You’ve got werewolf coasters and pumpkin pillows and, upon further inspection, Leo finds that even your throw blanket is littered with dancing skeletons. He grins. It’s just so like you.
And then, while you’re still in the bathroom, he sends out a few texts.
***
You’re at the lair bright and early on Saturday morning and you come bearing orange-frosted cupcakes and pumpkin-spiced lattes. The turtles and April cheer in unison when they spot your goodies. It doesn't take very long at all before you're learning they’ve got surprises of their own.
The first is impossible to miss; the Hamato home is thoroughly decked out in Halloween memorabilia, including a few extravagant displays that look like they belong in the annual fun fair’s haunted house (an event that was, at the last minute, added to tomorrow’s evening agenda).
“Guys!” you squeal excitedly, taking it all in. “The lair looks incredible!”
You’re, like, fully hopping from one foot to the other, bouncing on the tips of your toes, and Leo could not find it more adorable.
Donnie outs his brother almost immediately. “It was Leo’s idea.”
Mikey’s parading around the kitchen with oven mitts on. “We’re baking pumpkin bread too!”
“Also Leo’s idea!” Donnie interjects, sliding his way over.
“And we managed to swap tickets for the forest hay ride,” April announces buoyantly from her seat, picking at the bowl of kettle corn in the centre of the table. You’d tried for those tickets initially but they’d been completely sold out so you’d had to settle for the farm route instead.
You’re about to ask how they managed to swing that when:
“Leo was on the phone with them for over an hour…” Donnie volunteers.
Raph, who’s sitting on the floor hunched over a pumpkin and getting a head start on carving offers yet another headline of terrific news: “Oh! And we’re VIP tonight. Drinks are free and we get to judge the costume contest.”
Leo’s hand wraps its way over Donnie’s mouth before the boy can so much as inhale. “I think she gets it,” he bites out through gritted teeth.
Even behind Leo’s hand-muzzle, Donnie looks entirely too smug.
Raph and April glance at you, grinning from ear to ear. Judging by this reaction, you’d say your expression has to be somewhere between awed and flabbergasted.
You don’t know what to say.
April helps you out. “Donnie’s being annoying about it but, yeah, Leo really does deserve all the credit for this.”
You watch Leo’s head turn mechanically in her direction, the stiffest grin etched into his face. It takes everything in you not to laugh. It’s strange, though. Leo’s the type to seek credit even where it’s not due so this feels suspiciously out of character.
“Oh, Leonardo…” you singsong jubilantly. “Might I have a word?”
His gaze whips up at you and he nods, shyer than you know him to be.
“Don’t take too long!” Mikey calls, removing the pan from the oven as you branch off to another room. “It’s better when it’s still warm!”
You end up in the projector room near the pile of pumpkins you’re set to carve today. Leo sucks in a pitted breath but you start before he can.
“I don’t even know how to thank you. You didn’t have to do all this.”
Leo’s shoulders come up to his jaw and fall back down slowly. “I wanted to make up for what happened. And I know you love Halloween so…”
“That’s insanely thoughtful, Leo. Thank you.”
“Oh, and I made sure Donnie caught the guy. Saw the pictures with my own two eyeballers. They were gorgeous, by the way, as always, but they have been eradicated from that perv's cellular device along with his entire camera roll and every password, contact, song, and app." He gives you a little bow. Theatrics are always in full bloom with him. It makes you smile. "We also may have leaked his bank information online but that's because Donnie's cynical and I have no self-control.”
“How am I supposed to return this kind of favour, huh? I’m gonna be buying you pizza for the rest of my life.”
Leo waves you off before picking up a pumpkin. You do the same, mostly to give yourself something to fidget with.
“You could… uh, go on a date with me instead. Like a… yeah, a date.”
Your head tilts to the side. You’ve always felt there might be something more between the two of you but you weren’t confident either of you would ever act on it. It’s hard to tell if he’s being sincere now.
You venture an answer: “One measly date in exchange for a whole weekend of fun? You’re not making this a very tough decision.”
Leo smirks at you, lip caught by his teeth. “Then say yes.”
“Yes. On one condition.”
“Anything.”
“I get to plan it. You’ve done so much, let me take this one.”
Leo slumps in relief and nods at you, eyes filled with stars. You giggle and tap your pumpkin to his, an extra pep in your step as you start off on a walk back to the others.
The rest of the weekend might just be the greatest of, like, your whole freaking life. It’s impossibly fun and chaotic, and you go home each night with your cheeks hurting from smiling so wide and your throat raw from laughter.
Everything is wonderfully spooky and delightfully festive and, come Monday night, you and Leo spend a rooftop dinner on a decorative picnic blanket mottled with broomsticks and pointy hats. You laugh and chat and cling wine glasses together, watching the sun go down and the streets below fill with costumes. Later, you’ll hand out candy and watch family-friendly classics but, for now, you dither in the wind and kiss underneath the stars.
***
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aurelim · 6 months
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How Far Did Aurie Get on Her WIPs? (11/15/23)
Hello! Welcome to the November 2023 special edition of "How Far Did Aurie Get On Her WIPs?" Let's see how "far" she has gotten!
I am fifteen days behind, but better late than never, right? Right!
I haven't done much this past month, especially considering the new game that Alby and I released taking up literally every second of free time that I had during the entire month of October.
ACTUALLY, if you want, you can go check out the game over on itch.io! Here is the game and here is the intro post. Enjoy!
Needless to say, I have no major updates on my games. Although...
I got covid last week, actually! If you know and follow ST4RDOM's account, you likely already know this.
For the sake of my mind, I'll copy and paste what I wrote that's relevant to this:
This is actually my first time getting covid, or at least testing positive. It hit me really hard (like I was close to 104°F, which is 40°C) and I swear for three entire days I was just sleeping. It's been exactly a week since I felt those symptoms, and though I am still testing positive I feel much better and more in the mood to write! Though I can't say I have done much on ST4RDOM 😅 I was working on another project of mine just yesterday (which was my first time actually touching my computer ever since I got sick and writing), and I nearly fell asleep doing so lol
I still have brain fog, also. It wasn't in this quote, but I have brain fog thanks to covid and unfortunately I still have it, so progress on ATOL and all other games will be slower than normal until I can get my brain rebooted.
So I haven't done much, other than coding and writing this upcoming project of mine (which is listed in the masterpost lol). I first created the first draft back in January and just recently I've upgraded the UI and rewritten parts of the prologue. Which was yesterday.
Sweet! Now it's further ahead than ST4RDOM, which I literally created an account for because I thought I was going to have that game done soon. (Though I already had the original prologue, so all I'm doing is revamping it 😅)
Anyways, this game was originally meant to be my MAIN main game; the one I am meant to throw every coding skill I know into it. So I think that is why.
That's all from me, I think. I can't think of anything at the moment, so I am going to sign out now 🫡 hope you all have a good day, and stay safe from covid.
See you all on the next episode of "How Far Did Aurie Get On Her WIPs?" :)
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garciaasfluffypen · 1 year
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bright beginnings pt 7.
pairing: single dad!joseph quinn x fem!reader  wc: 1.5k  warnings: none
part six • part eight
a/n: IM SORRY IM SORRY I DIDNT NOTICE THIS WENT INTO THE BOTTOM OF MY QUEUE BECAUSE MY DUMBASS DIDNT SCHEDULE THE POST anyway enjoy a joe pov as a lil treat
being holed up in an office all day was not something joseph anthony francis quinn had figured would be in his books. but he found himself taking over the daycare he had devoted his life to, making it his lifes mission to revamp it from the inside out and make it better.
from his short time as owner, there were a gazzilion things he would like to change, including some staffing issues that were bothering him. out of the ten girls that worked there, y/n, destiny and claire were the three girls who were full time, meaning that they got the bulk of the hours. that had to change. there were two girls who dropped, saying they didn't have time to work much due to university, which left eight girls left to work. meaning if he split all the bulk of the hours with the three full timers… that left the part time girls jack shit. he felt horrible only giving some of the girls only ten hours a week, but there was only so much he could do without making more of them full time. he had been stuck in the office for about three hours now trying different versions of the schedule to figure out what would make the girls happy. bringing the full timers down from 45 to 32 opened up a chunk of hours he could divvy out between the other girls based on their availability, which could make it a bit easier. four of the eight girls had tight schedules due to uni, meaning he could potentially get a few more girls who were requesting more hours the hours they wanted.
but that was a headache for another day.
shutting his laptop, joe decided to step out into the playroom, where y/n was in charge of today. it was his idea to start having the girls rotate through the rooms, so that way all the kids could get acclimated to each staff member in case there needed to be any sort of coverage. so far, it seemed to be working well, especially because the twins started to open up to a few of the other girls rather than just sticking to y/n’s side all day. granted, days in the playroom were the harder days, because all riley and thomas wanted to do was play with her. it’s what started joe talking to them every day before coming in to remind them that yes, you can play with y/n but you need to let the other boys and girls play with her too. it went well for approximately five minutes before he realized they were wholeheartedly attached to her, and by god if he didn’t do something about it the twins would hate him forever.
he had to admit, she was cute. if it wasn’t for him being caught up in a messy divorce, he totally would have already asked you out on a date. but he had to hold himself off, knowing that julia would one hundred percent use that against him because that’s the kind of person she was. he didn’t know why they had even gotten together in the first place, not counting the fact that she wanted to appease her mother. set-up relationships never ended up working well, he found, and most of them reminded him of HR relationships- the ones you could always tell were fake. the ones that made people think love was real, only to shatter them to pieces when it came out that surprise, your faves weren’t actually together.
love was most definitely not that. and not what he had with julia.
before he could go down that wormhole again, his phone buzzed.
[ grace!! - 3:30pm ] joeee what are you doing tonight???? i miss youuuuuu
grace was one of his best friends from school. he and wesley had taken her under their wing the second she stepped into LAMDA, and the three of them had become inseparable. she had moved to london from america to pursue acting, considering it was one of the best acting schools in the world. joe definitely missed being on stage, but he had made the promise to himself that he would make more of an effort to provide for his kids, since acting could wait until they were a bit older.
[ 3:31pm ] do you miss me, or miss the kids? lol [ grace!! - 3:32pm ] obviously you, you’re my bestie! [ grace!! - 3:32pm ] but seriously what are you doing, rehearsal was canceled tonight [ 3:33pm ] not much, probably watching frozen with the kids and trying to avoid watching steve and maggie. you wanna pop over for tea? xx [ grace!! - 3:33pm ] is that even a question??? i’ll be there at five :)
looking over at the clock, joe figured he could pop out to the floor for about an hour before taking the twins home. saturdays were pretty light if he were being honest, so it probably wouldn’t be that big of a deal if he left a few hours earlier. most of the kids were gone by six anyway, so him leaving an hour early shouldn��t be horrid.
and then he could talk about his crush on y/n.
grace was there through the whole julia ordeal, meaning she knew all the ups and downs and the ahem “marriage” that julia’s mother basically shoved down joe’s throat, placing the ring in his hand and telling him to “get a goddamn move on”. yes, the loves of his life came out of it, but he hated julia and her dramatics and the need to make the divorce so much more than it needed to be. it was driving him up the walls, including the stupid custody agreement they were working on. he was doing his best to keep a level head, but it was getting to the point where he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. but grace was the level headedness he needed, always helping him figure everything out with wording and when to meet with lawyers and everything. she was definitely a light in his life, and he loved her to bits.
but his real loving nature was saved for y/n.
not that she’d ever get with him. he could always pretend that she was indeed flirting back with him. because while he really liked her, he was her boss. there were so many issues with that. but he also owned the daycare. and they didn’t have an HR person because it was a mom and pop shop. hell, he literally runs the facebook page. he could do whatever he wanted, right? … right?
“daddy!”
joe held his arms out as riley and thomas ran up to him, almost tackling him to the ground with their combined force.
“my angels! how has your day been?”
riley looked up at joe with her adorable little doe eyes. “daddy come play?”
“i gotta go talk to some of the lovely ladies a bit, but then we’re gonna go see grace!”
“grace comin?”
“yes, grace is coming for tea.”
out of the corner of his eye, joe noticed y/n turn away and start picking up in the playroom, trying to busy herself and not pay attention to the conversation. of course he would go and mention grace in front of her, after flirting with her so openly. just his fucking luck.
“grace bring wes?” thomas’ face lit up in excitement at the idea of two of his favorite people coming over.
“wes is at work, bub. he’ll come tomorrow, okay?”
“otay.”
“let me go say hi to the girls before we pop out, okay? go play with the toys.”
as joe rose from his crouching position, he noticed that y/n was stuck in the storage closet. stupidly, he decided to go around to all the other classrooms before coming back to the playroom to check on her before they popped out. the other girls were doing okay, which was good to hear. everything seemed to be going good since the rotation started, and it was showing. he stepped back into the playroom to gather riley and thomas, noticing that destiny was in, y/n being nowhere in sight. upsetting as that was for him, he did promise the kids that he would get them home to see grace. and besides, he really needed to talk to someone about his crush on y/n.
the ride home wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be, and the twins were relatively quiet but bubbling with excitement as they got closer and closer to the flat. soon as they saw grace’s car in the driveway, they started giggling and screaming, and joe couldn’t help but chuckle. grace held out her arms as the kids ran into them, picking them both up with ease and swinging around in a circle. she smiled at joe as he grabbed the bags from the passenger seat and took them inside, setting stuff down in the front room and taking them all into the kitchen to get the tea ready.
“so, who is she?”
“what?”
“you only wear your nice shirt anywhere when there’s someone you want to impress.” grace raised an eyebrow. “so who are you trying to impress, joe?”
joe sighed. “we’ve got a lot to catch up on.”
“oh, i bet.”
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solesurvivorkat · 4 months
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Here Comes the Sun! (Doo doo doo doo!)
I'm beyond tired of ME saying it all the time, but I have not died, disappeared, or given up!
Longer story short: holidays were hectic but good, and I FINALLY got to start my new position within the company I work for - and though I'm only on my 2nd day of training so far, it's amazing the difference I feel!
It's like a huge weight has been lifted off of my back/shoulders/chest. I'm not stressed at work, I'm not anxious, my trainer is like, the sweetest, most patient and welcoming woman, I'm enjoying all that I'm learning so far and am eager to learn some more, I look forward to the future in my new job, I really think it'll be a much better fit for me and my life, and I hope to be here for a long time to come!
It's nothing personal at all against my previous coworkers... but you ever feel like you're just not you at your job? Like it's turning into someone you don't recognize and/or like? My prior position wasn't an awful one (I've had jobs that were soooo much worse), and it wasn't inherently difficult - but I was doing a lot on my own w/ next to no help (not my coworkers' fault, they had their own duties to do), and it felt like I was on a never-ending treadmill with no end in sight. It was just... so discouraging.
I know I'm still in the 'honeymoon stage' of my new position, and it won't always be perfect/'fun'/easy/etc... but I'm so happy to be here (so far) and it's amazing what a difference I feel now (like a '180').
ANYWAY - I feel like I FINALLY have some decent time to devote to 'Shadow of Steel' again, and am actually getting some MUCH-needed work done on it today! I really, really hope to have a chunk of the 'slightly updated', revamped previous chapters up on Ao3 relatively soon!
As for my other fics... well... I'll be 100% honest, I don't know if I'll ever finish 'The Book of John'. ...Which is really a shame, b/c I seriously had so many plans & creative ideas for that fic (plus, I totally wanted to explore the slow burn that would be John & Sarah in that fic). I'm not 100% cancelling it out just yet, but I'd say it's definitely in the 'limbo/chopping block' area of my writing plans. :-(
'I Need to Tell You' - same as above. I'd say it's around 2/3 of the way finished, so I would really like to complete this one (especially since it's more plausible for John & Sarah to have a happy ending in this one, LOL)... but I don't know yet if it'll happen. We'll see, I guess?
Thank you for hanging in there and waiting patiently, those of you that did... but if you haven't, I don't blame you one bit - but I'd like to hope that you'll give me another chance (someday, heh).
.....And in my mind, Arthur Maxson is waiting outside my door with a baseball bat - since his much-liked girlfriend has been kidnapped for forever now, and he really doesn't appreciate my excuses, LOL. *XD
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causticacoustic · 6 months
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Are you a procrastinator? 👀
do you have any tips on how to get on the grind and actually do things?
how do you get along with people 🤯😀❓
you mentioned that there was a time where BEAST was mentally bad for you, how did you control it or get past it?
What's your biggest turn off?
What do you do when a friend or someone wrongs you?
no pressure ask btw!
only answer what u feel like answering and if u feel like it xD ♥️
I am actually procrastinating right now-
hello wakanai!! funny seeing you here on my main blog! i love your no pressure asks, but for future reference, this blog is preeeettty inactive, and i really need to revamp it into a directory for all the sideblogs i use. in the future, i'd prefer you send asks to @cousticks or @justified-or-just-obscene since those are the ones i post the most on!! there's more content on those ones anyway so it'd be more fun! i have a lot of blogs, i know. that's only three of like, six. tysm for following me on other blogs though its fun to have the little mutuals tag next to a name
anyway, asks!! a read more since, as usual, i rambled quite a bit <3
I am a huge procrastinator. its a problem. its gotten me into trouble before. but, lets talk about procrastination a bit, especially since there's usually a lot of guilt around it. sure, procrastination can just be procrastination, but not always! sometimes there's other things going on, be it having a hard time getting out of a fixation mindset, stress and anxiety freezing your brain to the point you can't work, a lack of understanding on a certain step making you not want to work on it, or just... being something that sucks for you being really difficult to work on or do. or just something that takes a lot of mental energy you don't actually have because you used it all just functioning as a person in your day-to-day life. all of these have happened to me, and i wrote them off as "procrastination" and got frustrated with myself, ultimately making the problem worse until panic took over and i got something done. sometimes if you're having trouble starting a project you need to take inventory of yourself and figure out where that road block is happening, and try to take care of yourself before you can take care of your assignments.
i guess tips to "actually do things" kind of follows from my procrastinator bit above, haha. as i said, sometimes you really need to take stock of yourself and allow yourself some grace. or find a kind of music that really pumps you up, or find a way to reward yourself. unfortunately the 'reward' bit requires the mental discipline to... not just skip straight to the reward instead of doing your tasks. it doesn't always work, but for at least smaller chore-like tasks, such as taking out the trash or doing dishes, i kind of mentally go "alright. we really need to do this thing. ready? three... two... one... up." and then just. get up. i experience a lot of what i consider "mental inertia." you know, objects at motion tend to stay in motion, objects at rest tend to stay at rest. the hardest part of starting anything is actually starting it. the hardest part of doing my chores is actually getting up to do them, but once i'm at it, i can usually accomplish more than i originally planned, because i'm already in motion so... might as well. as far as assignments, that's harder, especially when its things you have to sit down and do. don't underestimate the power of a small mental reset. get up, take a small walk around the room, go get a drink of water, use the restroom, take a deep breath, find one (1) song that pumps you up and stand in the middle of the room with your eyes closed and just listen to it for a second. don't do anything else. deep breath and breathe and listen to something you enjoy. you might be surprised at how much better you feel after doing a quick reset. or, if getting up and walking around isn't an option for you, open a new page or a new word document or google doc whatever it is. start doodling or writing or typing stream-of-consciousness style. whatever comes into your head. just things like "alright. lets get some words going. lets do this assignment. lets go. words. we can do this. i know how to do this assignment, even if i'm not doing it yet." blah blah blah. just get yourself moving and writing some words, even if they're nonsense. its okay. that will help get over the inertia hurdle and slowly focus your mind back onto your task. i can't promise any of this helps, but its some tricks that worked in the past!! remember: you can't expect yourself to do anything when you're too stressed or exhausted to focus. let yourself rest to do your best.
its funny you think i know how to get along with people. if you ever figure that out, let me know lmao. but on a more serious note, getting along with people is generally having an open mind. and, oddly enough, expanding your interests or base knowledge on a lot of things so its easier to find common ground with someone. an odd example, but i used to work at a hotel and liked to chat with the guests. tangentially, this is when some of my car bro friends were really getting me into cars. eventually i knew enough to at least have a conversation on the topic, even if it wasn't super in-depth. funnily enough, having base knowledge on cars was able to help me carry conversations with old white guys that checked into the hotel, lmao. point being, the more you know and the more you're open to learning, the easier it is to find common ground with people, be it information or experiences. and the more people you meet and have conversations with, the easier it is. if there's one thing working retail since i was a teenager has taught me, its that eventually you'll develop scripts for things. even normal small-talk conversations, you'll have built-in responses. knowing about clothes, i can comment something nice about someone's outfit, then follow the conversation with more specific information like "oh yeah, i saw a pattern kind of like that at x store, i thought about buying it in a different color for a while! glad to see you living my sweater dreams, haha." that's a kind of quirky example, but i hope you get the gist. just... remember that people exist, and have experiences. my default first question with new people is always about their favorite music or artists, because that's something i know a lot about. you can learn a lot about people from their favorite tunes.
i won't get too in detail about it, but the Beast novel was really bad for me for a while because i have those cool and fun mental problems that give me unhealthy attachments to fiction, especially when i'm in a bad place mentally. i eventually realized i was engaging with fiction in an unhealthy way, and i just... cut myself off. i had to do my best to avoid beast content, eventually to the point i had to avoid anything bsd at all for almost a year, just because i was engaging with fiction in a way that was actually really bad for me. i had to make new social media accounts so i had clean algorithms that didn't show me content, i had to stop listening to music i associated with characters, it was a full hard stop on everything. it took a lot of self-awareness that i wasn't used to having. this was because of some life circumstances, though. i had to remove myself from the real-life circumstances that were putting me in a bad spot before i could really trust myself to engage with any of my fixations again without messing myself up. Beast happened to be the worst for me because its also such an unhappy media to begin with, and i project heavily onto Chuuya, who... y'know, doesn't exactly get a great ending. I'm doing fine now, but there was a time a lot of factors came together to mess me up and i had to remove all of it before i could be alright enough to engage with the things i enjoy.
Honestly, I'm not sure what puts me off people the most. If the vibes someone has are rancid, I avoid them. Generally, blaming others for things they aren't responsible for is a big problem for me. Sure, call people out for things they've actually done, but calling people liars or whatever for shit they haven't actually done or are out of their control but you're just assuming is their fault? That's a goddamn problem. Or people who just kind of... assume the world is out to get them all the time, I guess. Who assume the worst of people at first glance. Everyone is out here just living their lives. Don't take other people's problems personally. Its not about you.
Unfortunately for myself, I usually ignore it or brush it off when someone I consider a friend does something wrong towards me. I don't recommend it. At least, until it builds up bad enough I start to hate them and then I just ghost people. Again, not exactly a good plan nor is it healthy. What you should do is communicate boundaries and cut off anyone who jumps all over those boundaries like its a trampoline park. That's the healthy way to go about it. I'm not exactly the healthiest person, though. Don't take me as an example on how to handle people doing you wrong.
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shinonart · 3 months
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Hello, hope you're doing well ^w^
Just had a quick question on etsy shop availability. I'm hoping to eventually get the galactic animal sticker sheet set of 3; it's had the low in stock status for a little bit so I was wondering what your usual restock schedule or w/e might be? (I guess it's not a super important question, I'm just trying to decide what to get when it's payday lol)
Anyway. Your art is beautiful and fascinating and I'm always happy when I see it on my dash. Thank you for sharing your work ♥
Hello,
Thank you for your message!
The sticker sheets have been revamped a little bit. The old ones were A6 sized and had five stickers each but my latest restock of them is A5 sized, the stickers are a little bit larger and there are now more designs on each sheet. They will have the same five designs as the old sheets but also a few extras!
I have yet to add these to my shop but I hope to get around to it soon! I will make a post about it.
The remaining old sticker sheets are all in my shop so if they are something you want to grab no better moment than the present to do so. Once the A6 sheets are out I don't know if there will be a reprint, most likely not.
Thank you very much for the kind words! It makes me happy to hear you enjoy my art. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
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definitely-not-a-wasp · 6 months
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Do you think Angels shape-shifting is worth keeping if executed differently?
Short answer: no. Angel already has so much going on with her, shape-shifting feels like a cheap bit, and I'm generally picky with shape-shifting— in fact, I'm so picky that I eliminated Eraser shapeshifting all together in my rewrite.
Now, that being said, I'm aware that that answer is absolutely no fun, so I'm going to try to figure out how Angel's shapeshifting could be executed better, and maybe the rest of the flock's powers, too.
Speaking from a general perspective, I have some major problems with Maximum Ride superpowers, and they're as-follows:
They just HAPPEN. There's no trigger, there's no effort on the flock's part to "unlock" them, and there's no explanation given.
They're often these one-off powers that don't maintain narrative significance or further explanations.
Most of the time, they have absolutely no drawbacks.
And looking at Angel's shapeshifting specifically, there are more issues:
Shapeshifting is one of those powers that feels supernatural instead of scientific to me. This is entirely a personal opinion and completely subjective, but for some reason it feels out of place in a scifi book unless it is something established very early on as something within scientific possibility, and not in book 8
Angel already has so many OP powerups, she absolutely does not need more.
With this being said, I think there are a few ways that I could enjoy Angel's shapeshifting (because you asked about MY opinions, and therefore you get to be subjected to Wasp's opinion corner):
A. Link it to The Angel Experiment, and link it to the other shapeshifters in the series (Erasers). She starts shapeshifting as a direct result of experimentation that happened to her at the School, and it comes with the same pain and mental disregulation that shapeshifting causes Ari. This means that it's introduced very early in the series, and feels less disjointed because there's a parallel to Erasers right there. I'd also stick firmly to Eraser-esque morphing, where it's partial at best and, like Ari, looks frankenstein-esque.
B. Link it to StW, when Angel “turns” on them, which still gives it a connection to the School and everything mentioned in part A, with the extra bonus of her undergoing that experimentation willingly, partially for the sake of the con and partially to gain more power.
C. Throw Scifi out the window, lean full into uncanny valley, and slowly reveal throughout the series that Angel is something that's pretending to be human. This would involve a complete plot overhaul, but it's not like Maximum Ride had a cohesive plot, so it could work! Leaning out of scifi and into fantasy, because it's not like there's a hard line between them anyway, solidify that Max and co. were created to save the world from a fantastical threat, not a human one. Then, as the series goes on, slowly reveal that unlike the rest of them, Angel was not a human-animal hybrid created by the School, but something distinctly other that was found by them (and experimented on). By the time she starts shapeshifting, it's not a miraculously gained power, but instead Angel throwing in the rag at the whole "pretending to be human" thing. And from there, Max has to figure out if she's going to count Angel as a threat to the world she's supposed to save or grind her heels in and refuse to stop treating her as her little sister.
And this is already getting long, so I'll do a breakdown/revamp of everyone's powers elsewhere.
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papirouge · 9 months
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you are right, "woke" has truly lost all meaning as a term... one of my new favorite games has a very basic and positive message to it but because the localization inserted some nonsense about a nonbinary character it got labeled as "woke SJW trash" even tho the rest of the script is pretty accurate to the original Japanese
I also saw comments about how just including a gay relationship in this game is "agenda-pushing" like I really don't get that tbqh. it just reminded me of people complaining that the new Zelda game is "woke" because it has a few characters who aren't lily white and Zelda has short hair lmao
LMAO Dying at the "woke" Zelda bc some characters are Black. Isn't that a fantasy game? like, with magic, talking trees, trolls and shit but Black people existing is a reach?? (they did the same for Lord of the Rings TV show)
I think the reluctance of these folks to see non White people in fantasy content is bc White people want to gatekeep fantasy as a 'White only' genre. Which is funny because White people have no problem reappropriating foreign genre for their own gain 🙃
Funny how these woke hunter always forget those Hollywood movies adaptation of foreign stories where the studio ALWAYS need to shove a WHITE hero for some reason or purposely use a story where a White character can outshine others?
Remember the samurai movie with Tom Cruise? 7 years in Tibet? Also Mulan love interest was supposed to be a White man initially, but people complained and it's been scrubbed off. There are whole think piece exposing how the Whites LOVE inserting themselves into POC stories to elevate themselves as heroes. Even woke storyline don't go that far with their non White characters ; they are always confined as side kick and minimum screetime (is it true that all the dark skin characters of the house of dragon ended up dying after the first season?? lmaoooo)
And I always said that the issue wasn't non White people being shoved in "White people story" because when Black Panther happened their were still mad and were seething about that movie catering to Blacks (but don't you dare saying movies featuring mostly White people are catering to White, it will make you an awful wokester lmao). Whites will always feel entitled for other races to relate to their stories, but never the other way around. There's a post floating around cathblr with Catholics raving about Arabs discovering the Lord of The Ring and enjoying it a lot. And I couldn't help but think: would those catholics turn the favor and rave about an Arab movie with islamist undertones...? 🙃 lmao.... Those people are soooooo transparent 💀
Everything is woke if you try hard enough, anyway. Scrotes are seething because they consider some video game female characters are purposely made ugly (like Aloy from Horizon Dawn. A scrote was coping bc the mocap actress was much more beautiful and he couldn't wrap his hand as of why they would change her face to make her look more 'rough' ...when he's just too stupid to grasp that this choice is actually pretty coherent with the storyline since homegirl is nomad WARRIOR.).
I also remember when they made a revamp of Mortal Kombat chara design and changed characters body proportion to become more realistic, scrotes got mad lmao It's hilarious how they think they're really doing something 'counter-culture' but they only show how porn fried they are. There's no way to think this
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...is better than that
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Btw, all those ANTI praising Japan for being anti woke are up to a very hard wake up call. Many japanese celebrities are vocal LGBT+ supporters, a significant amount of online stars are gay/queer (Ryuchell, Peey, Kemio...). Even recently a member of AAA (a famous pop band) came out as gay 😬 there's a huuuuge push for LGBT visibility into the Japan entertainment right now, so it's obvious they have no idea of what they're talking about... The other day on Twitter I've seen a post summing up why Western conservartard scrotes love Japan
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This post was in a thread about nuclear bomb and American burgers saying it was oKay tO kIlLs thOusaNd of CivIlIanS bEcAuse jApan wEre tHe bAd GuYs 🤡
The USA humiliated Japan in the non threatening " tech/anime obsessed pacifists". Unlike other countries that still have a minimum of pride and honour, Japan doesn't remind the USA how bad they are and the unchecked harm they done to them. They are also completely economically submitted to the USA (there are still American base out there.....). So the USA give them a cookie and constantly elevate them as the perfect non White country 🙃
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Text
Fetus 5sos (2) Masterlist
part one
a chalk outline on a playground blacktop (ao3) - whiskeytantrums michael/luke G, 1k
Summary: Michael's always had a habit of making Luke cry.
All Summer In A Day (ao3) - shipsnshit (orphan_account) michael/luke G, 3k
Summary: All day yesterday they had read in class about the sun. About how like a lemon it was, and how hot. And they had written small stories or essays or poems about it: I think the sun is a flower, that blooms for just two hours. That was Luke's poem, read in a quiet voice in the still classroom while the rain was falling outside. Little did he know, there was one boy who had been intrigued by it. His name being Michael.
cold thighs (ao3) - angstymuke michael/luke N/R, 599
Summary: mikey has cold thighs, luke just can't have that.
Drunk Confessions = Sober Thoughts (ao3) - orphan_account michael/calum T, 1k
Summary: “Mike, what if your parents find out?” Calum whined, shutting the door of the tree-house. “Doesn’t your dad keep a lock on the beer fridge?” Michael grabbed a few of the drinks, handing them to Calum and Luke and keeping one for himself. “There’s no need to lock it, no one except my dad drinks this shit anyway.” Michael explained, turning to the small CD player behind him and putting on a CD, settling down on a beanbag.
Or the one where Michael, Calum and Luke get drunk inside Michael’s childhood treehouse and one thing leads to another, Luke passes out and a drunk make out session ensues.
Five Minutes (ao3) - aspoonfulofyoongi michael/luke G, 1k
Summary: another first kiss muke fic WOW nice! This is actually my first kiss story revamped a little for muke, so I hope you enjoy!
'I know looks can kill, because I'm dying for yours' (ao3) - Forbiddenmichael michael/luke, calum/ashton G, 19k (WIP)
Summary: The story of how with the change of the pigment of Michael's hair, comes a change in Luke's attitude towards him. The mere colour of it isn't what causes the change in emotions, it just easier to think about how much has actually changed, when you compare it to something as trivial as the colour of his hair. It all starts when they are merely innocent five year olds, but by the time they are eighteen, many things -including hair dye preferences- have changed.
or luke finds his feelings towards michael changing as often as the colour of michaels hair does.
Mamihlapinatapei (ao3) - merlypops michael/calum T, 2k
Summary: 'Michael remembers sitting in the cafeteria at school and gazing at Calum with such fondness and feeling a jolt of shock when Calum returned the look just as warmly, and Michael remembers wondering vaguely when they stopped being brothers and started being something else instead.'
Michael falls in love with his best friend and it feels like being torn apart.
Prove It (ao3) - notonguexwithbutt michael/luke M, 8k
Summary: "A stretch of silence follows and Luke can feel his cheeks begin to heat up again. Because…Michael is telling him he can stay. And hang out. With him. Luke was leaving and Michael stopped him. His heart speeds up again and a smile starts tugging at his lips.
God, he really better not fuck this up."
Michael's day to himself gets interrupted when a very nervous Luke Hemmings shows up on his doorstep, acoustic guitar and bright blue eyes awaiting him.
stay quiet (ao3) - babyboylukey michael/luke M, 1k
Summary: "what...what are you doing michael?"
after finally getting his pants off he says, "gonna put that annoying mouth of yours to good use."
that's when luke goes quiet. honestly he just can't refuse. he may or may not have dreams about things like this. with michael too.
You're Pretty (Cute) (ao3) - orphan_account michael/luke N/R, 541
Summary: He was too shy to even go over to him, no matter how bad he wanted to.
Basically Michael really likes Luke and how pretty he is but is too shy to say anything, and Luke likes his shyness
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actualaster · 1 year
Text
Alright, so, Thoughts on Lightfall.
Overall I enjoyed it quite a bit, though it's not without issues. On the whole I feel it did more right than wrong, and I can very much admit that several of the things I find to be flaws may very well just be down to personal taste in writing choices rather than objective problems.
So, in general, it's mostly positive with some discussion of areas that I think might have been better handled.
Naturally spoilers abound below.
Also discussions of new/revamped gameplay mechanics in addition to the storyline stuff.
Going to be a bit disjointed and achronological because my brain does not vibe with the concept of time in general.
So, first of all, NIMBUS. I love them. They're a great character. I want to see more of them in the future. Canon on-screen nonbinary rep in a character who is great, who has speaking lines AND is a major character in the expansion, AND doesn't just get killed off? YES. It seems like a previous Cloud Strider, Stargazer, may also have been they/them? There's definitely another they/them as an average citizen in the lorebook AND somebody who seems genderfluid.
So Neomuna just casually embraces being nonbinary and it's NOT just a Cloud Strider thing it's just a normal part of their culture. Love that~
Alright, now for everything else.
I really enjoyed the new aesthetics of Neomuna! Very pretty~ I especially love the sparkly, glittery stone (or whatever) ground and caves, that's just such a pretty thing and it's always a top tier design choice. Also really love how they made the Cloud Striders so dang tall! Makes sense with their augments and whatnot, but still, great choice~
Still haven't poked around all the Lost Sectors but I loved the arcade (and the Goblin just... scanning a game cabinet lol. Absolute favorite Vex right there, a shame I had to kill it)
Haven't messed around too much with the new weapons and such, so I can't speak to how I enjoy the new perks or anything yet thought I like the aesthetics of them again.
The re-worked mod system is pretty solid, IMO. It streamlines a lot of stuff. Could use more tweaks, I miss some of the older mods and such, but the team will absolutely be monitoring things and adding new mods and tweaking existing ones and such as we go. It's a massive overhaul so it'll take time for things to fully settle, and I'll probably tweak things around further in the future.
I do prefer the perk system for the seasonal artifact as well, by the way, less of a pain than trying to slot mods into your gear and sacrificing stuff. Still struggling with stunning Champions but that's mostly because I'm still getting used to the new setup and fiddling with weapons and such.
Loudout system is great, no more needing to change up mods or appearances when you swap classes lol.
I do wish they'd maybe increase the slots we have for weapons, or something. It's getting hard to juggle and energy slots between what i need to complete bounties, what I need to stun champions, and what I run for everything else, especially if I've got an exotic catalyst or two I'm trying to work on...
Also, while Strand is fun, it feels... Slower for abilities to recharge, somehow? Might just be because most of my other sub-classes have ways to recharge themselves in PvE faster and all. Especially the loading time on the grapple grenade. I very much get why it's like that but also since it doubles as a movement mechanic and not just a combat mechanic it's a little... Tedious. But there's not really a good way to adjust that, I think, because it's not like destiny has a dedicated "extra movement method" button or anything.
Anyway that might feel a little less clunky as I unlock aspects and try to put together a decent Strand build. Need to find a decent high-stat Exotic to pair it with, tbh, the one I'm running now is just kinda.. Meh, it's what I've got on hand lol. So that might very well be coloring my opinions on it, I can fully admit that's a strong possibility. (But, also, I fully expect Bungie to tweak Strand going forwards as more and more players get their hands on it and they can see on a large scale how it's working and where it's struggling).
ANYWAY enough about that! ON TO OTHER STUFF.
So, overall, I liked the story they told. I do wish we'd delved more into the what the Veil is, however. It's obvious by the time you're doing some of the post-campaign stuff that not even the people of Neomuna have a solid grasp on what it is, and I would have liked to see that explored more... I know they're probably going to drip feed us some of that info over the seasons but I feel like that's extremely relevant to THIS expansion and I feel that expansions should balance being self-contained and setting up the next part of the story (unless it's a standalone expansion in which case it should be entirely self-contained).
Lightfall... Felt like it leaned a little too heavily on the "setting up for the next part" side of things. It wasn't bad, but I feel like we could have explored a bit more in the expansion itself. Maybe not part of the main campaign, but as a post-campaign quest or something to learn a little more about the Veil, and such.
I don't want to describe it as "filler", because it's not, but it did... Hrm... How to explain it... Like, obviously it's the link between Witch Queen and The Final Shape, that's just kind of what the expansions are--continuing the story and linking the entries that came before with those that came after. But Lightfall... It felt a little more like it was meant to just be a bridge and less like it was taking itself seriously as a full story in it's own right.
It's not bad, exactly, but it felt a little... Off. Like it wasn't quite able to come into it's own as an expansion outside of it's role linking WQ and TFS. An excellent effort was made, and that is a fine line to walk so I don't want to give the devs too much grief over it! But it does feel like it managed to fall a bit short on that.
Some of it was the pacing. The pacing felt a little... Inconsistent? Like some areas, such as Rohan's death, felt kind of rushed--we barely had time to get to know or care about these characters before he's sacrificing himself for us! And others felt like they dragged a little--Strand mastery, mostly. That somehow manage to feel like it both took up too much time and too little time.
I think that part is more... It felt like it took forever to get to the serious training to master it, and once we hit that it came very rapidly. I think that maybe if it had been a focus for one more or one less mission it would have felt better paced.
But also part of that might be less to do with the actual Strand and more to do with the content of the missions themselves. I did notice several of them had extended "no respawn" segments which were... Grueling, if you weren't very well-prepared and that can absolutely be coloring my perception of the pacing. It's hard to pull them apart, really.
Battles in segments did seem to drag on a bit, and some of the new stuff you do in Neomuna (the "terminal override" activity) seem to drag on, becoming more of a test of endurance than anything else.
Now, some of this is undoubtedly because we're all still adjusting to the new mod system and we all started out at low light compared to the recommended stuff with the new expansion and all. As we all start to get up there in light level, get better gear, get a handle on the new system, etc. I suspect these will start going faster.
So I don't want to be too hard on that aspect because, y'know, we just came off a "we've got YEARS of experience mastering the system and we're at the top of our game" in terms of gameplay so there's gonna be a learning curve for many of us again and I don't want to ding the devs on that too badly if it really just feels tedious due to needing to get familiar with things and better gear and such.
Plus, like. I know I'm not as big a fan of the battlegrounds style stuff because they take longer and I prefer quick, intense bursts of combat rather than extended firefights, so that's likely also my personal taste coloring how I feel there.
That said, not all the battle segments seemed to drag on--and several of those that were longer absolutely made sense and it really added to the emotional feelings of the mission with how they lasted longer.
Like, the run-up to fighting Calus?
When Caitatl shows up to fight alongside you with her troops through wave after wave of enemy? It felt like that fight took forever--but that worked great because it really fed the sense of "shit, fuck, NO, we have to hurry, we don't have time for this!" and that sense of "can we make it? No, we have to! We have to endure!" desperation that really, really fit the "the enemy is about to fucking win we HAVE to stop them!" that was being built up.
Actually, honestly, the more I think about it... The more I think that may have been the point all along with the combat segments that felt like took longer? To build that "we don't have time to be wasting here" sense of impatience to hurry and try to stop the Witness from getting the Veil.
But, also, again, they may have just taken longer and feel too long because I'm not totally used to the new system and still building myself up again--and I would imagine that the same could be true for others who also felt they were lengthy.
Calus' death, though, that was great. The battle was annoying because I was still trying to get a hang of swinging around with Strand and kept getting knocked off, but that was a skill issue not a game design issue lol.
I liked how in the end he became desperate, and his death just... Felt fitting. He met the end he was always destined for. Honestly a of the imagery around Calus was great, they did a great job of showing that while he gives service to the Witness he's still not actually satisfied and that his "gains" are just... Hollow. Empty. Just like him, really. All superficial opulence with no substantial filling.
His Chalice, a beautiful thing that was never filled, was a fantastic metaphor for Calus himself.
Speaking of interesting things, though.
The Cloud Striders vs the Guardians. One that chooses a life cut drastically short, not as a tragedy, but as a joyful sacrifice to protect and serve their people, a heavy mantle but one taken up willingly by those who are passionate about the cause. And one that has immortality thrust upon them without warning, without consent, and without any sort of purpose innate to the lifespan change.
They're a fun little twisted reflection of each other, and something I hope gets explored further even if only in the lore--that's a really, really neat concept that has a lot of fun potential for compare/contrast, you know?
AND, ON TOP OF THAT, the Guardian hesitates to cut their own existence short--the choice to shoot their Ghost, to save everything? (Or at least delay the Witness' plan)? And they hesitate, they can't quite do it in time (and once it's over there's no point). It's understandable, Ghost is your friend, somebody you care about and I think it makes perfect sense that we'd hesitate. I mean even outside of the narrative of "they can't have us kill Ghost because then we wouldn't be immortal anymore and that would really kind of screw with the whole 'players are immortal beings who come back over and over and over and just Get Better from grievous wounds on the fly'" thing. It just makes sense in general.
But there's also, there, that moment of hesitation in the face of sacrificing their immortality--when Rohan chose to cut his already truncated life short without hesitation to the same end.
It's not that I think we were wrong for our choice, or that his sacrifice was better or anything.
I just thing they're fascinating inversions of each other--parallel lines traveling in opposite direction.
And I think that was really well-done.
Also, speaking of well-done, the cutscene at the end of the new exotic quest for Deterministic Chaos, where the remains of Sagira's shell are enshrined in the Hall of Heroes right behind Rohan's monument/server. That was such a good touch, it was so perfect. It just feels right.
I just.
Yeah, the expansion had it's issues (what doesn't?) and things I would have changed up a bit but overall it was very enjoyable and did some amazing stuff with imagery, metaphor, and implied parallels for players to take note of. My biggest gripes are with gameplay, and those will very likely be lessened as the new mod system and subclass get tweaked and we all start getting more experience with them and such.
A fun time that deserves some criticism but really doesn't seem to deserve the more vitriolic hate I've seen.
So, on the whole, I'd give it a very solid 8/10.
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catboyclarity · 2 years
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3, 7, 8, and 21 for the artist ask meme? giving you lots since you're bored
3. What ideas come from when you were little?
I make this joke a lot that’s like “me at 10 years old: oh my god wolves are so cool they are the coolest thing I love wolves!! Me at 24 years old: oh my god solved are so cool they are the coolest thing I love wolves!!!” So that’s one thing
I’ve just always been artistically interested in people who are animals in some way, whether that’s shapeshifters or furries or catgirl type stuff or weird aliens. I liked regular animal stories a lot as a kid too, they used to be the only thing I’d read. I like the themes you can explore with characters who have some human quality a lot better now but I still like for characters to have some animal or otherwise inhuman quality as well.
7. A medium you don’t work in but appreciate a lot
Music!! I love music very very much and think about it constantly but while I’ve dabbled I have never had time or motivation to get into making it seriously. I think about music theory and I break into sweats. Maybe someday.
8. What’s an old project or idea you’ve lost interest in?
My old kitty cat comic idea, Not By Blood!
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It was about a virus that caused most mammals to develop human-level cognition and speech and a city where the effected animals were quarantined. I don’t think I have it in me to create another comic like this which is sad bc there’s a lot of ideas and characters I still think about in it.
I’ve thought about revamping it and making the characters primates but I really don’t feel like making another long form animal comic rn or maybe ever again even : \
21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyway
I tend to REALLY enjoy flat graphic styles with thin lines—which is about the exact opposite of what I enjoy doing, process-wise, and what I feel looks good in my own art. I love to work with thick, expressive line weights and I love rendering things in a painterly fashion. That’s just what I enjoy doing.
But dude. Does anything I make look as good as Hotblood!/Zarco????? The answer is no.
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Check this shit out. I would not have a good time drawing like this but my god I wish I could.
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dgcatanisiri · 1 year
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I'm basically rambling out loud about the writer-y things that I'll never manage to do, so there's a cut to spare those unconcerned.
I know I keep bringing up that this ridiculous length of my Buffyverse continuation, and how I keep adding to it, but dagnabbit, this is something that kept me going for a long time, and I have an actual genuine enthusiasm for making my development of this universe in some manner be a legitimate THING, even if it's just knowing where things would go, even if they never leave outline stage.
It's also kinda nifty, or at least I think so, to include a few "what if" scenario type miniseries into things. Y'know, things of the "but what if things played out differently?" variety. Like, with the Buffy books, one of my disappointments with them was when the trilogy of "what if Dark!Willow was never stopped?" was put out, but ended up turning back around to the original episodes' ending all the same - the trilogy was about exploring what made this all different, but then just went back to the same original conclusion? (My understanding is that this was editorial mandate and not what the author had wanted, which I fully believe.)
So I get to have these little side stories that actually explore the concept of "everything changes" (or, well, would if I were doing more than brief outlining everything, but, hey, in fantasy world, I get to put all these together). These could never really have happened back in the day, since the actors would need time to breathe and all, and doing a full season of the original show AND a mini-series or two at the same time would definitely have burnt out the actors, but since this is all fantasy, I get to do it anyway!
And I also have bits and pieces that introduce concepts and characters I originally used much later into things - so now it's all a grand connection.
It also means that I'm gonna end up going through things and revamping my original ideas - y'know, oh, I had this idea I don't really like that I can swap out for something better, oh I realize now that this idea kinda fizzled out, maybe I can replace it... Granted, that's gonna be merry hell when I get to the stuff that I'm spinning off to its own separate thing, cuz it ate up time here, and it got these characters an extended major role there, and now it's all going over to its own thing, so that's a major subplot I've got to take out and replace...
I enjoy the writing challenge to it all, apparently having set this aside for the better part of a decade was a good call in coming in with original ideas, but it does frustrate me that this is never going to go beyond my own outlines, cuz... I want to have these in a finished product form!
It also makes me all nostalgic for that virtual continuation/series boom that happened in the mid-2000s. I found a few of them that are at least still accessible and made to save them to my external (which, granted, I may need to start looking into having a backup for my backup, since the thing's gotten to needing a repair scan after every time I transfer it to my laptop and back to my desktop, which does fortunately fix it, but... Well, I have anxiety issues in general). And sure, quantity isn't quality, but y'all know how it is with lost media - it's not necessarily about how good it is so much as saying you have it.
All of this does, however, make me picture that fantasy DVD case for all these things and how monumentally sprawling and out of control it would be to actually account for all these things.
And, y'know, this is just me focusing on the Buffy side of things. I've got a whole bunch of Star Trek spinoffs I could put this focus on, plus a handful of handfuls of others that I'd totally be down for putting together as well.
Dammit, just let me spend my time putting together all the writer-y things I want, from the fanfic-ish to the original! I don't function well as a human being anyway, this would all be to the benefit of us all!
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kuroopaisen · 3 years
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takes one to know one || fushiguro megumi
➵ megumi just wants to buy some flowers from the nice stall attendant he definitely doesn’t have a crush on in peace. gojou has other plans.  
wc: 2.4k
warnings: gn!reader, incoherent chaos
a/n: gracie dearest this one’s for you :( you are so sweet and so lovely to me and i’m so, so glad we met in this hellscape (i would personally like to thank psycho-pass for existing) i hope i did your boy well! 
By the time he arrives at Jujutsu Tech, Megumi knows the flowers are a mistake.
“For me?” Gojou gasps, hands clasped and mouth agape in perhaps his most punchable smile. “Oh, you shouldn’t have.”
Megumi’s fist tightens around the handle of his bouquet. Today, it’s lilacs, irises and white lilies. It’s also much bigger than usual – too big to inconspicuously leave on someone’s fence or place in the school gardens.
“You can have them if you want,” he murmurs. What else is he supposed to do with them?
The delight on Gojou’s face collapses into a precarious mix of genuine confusion and insatiable curiosity. “Hah? They’re not for anyone?”
“No,” Megumi says. And if they were, I wouldn’t tell you. Although he doesn’t say that last part. Gojou would perceive it as a challenge, and the less he knew about Megumi’s private life, the better.
“So…” A grin splits Gojou’s face. “The person you bought them from must be special, then.” 
Megumi freezes for just a second. But he knows a second is enough for Gojou to glean all the information he needs.  
“Ah,” Gojou hums. “I see.”
“No, you don’t,” Megumi mumbles, well-aware of the heat rising in his cheeks.
“But why would you go out of your way to buy a bouquet of flowers, hm?” Gojou grins, shit-eating grin back on his face. “They don’t hand these out for free, you know.”
Megumi’s grip is so firm he’s scared he’ll crush the stems.
Although, he still doesn’t know what he’s going to do with them. It doesn’t feel right to throw them out – not when you’d spent time putting it together – but he wasn’t about to revamp his room with a distinctly floral accent.
Is it against social protocol to give the flowers back to you? Not now, of course, but maybe on his evening walk… or tomorrow morning…
He still doesn’t know why he didn’t just walk past you that first day.
But something about the way you were gazing out into the street, eyes wide and hopeful as you watched people ignore you on their daily commute… something about that drew him in.
And once he’d bought something from you once – just a small flower, one he didn’t know the name of, but seemed appropriate behind a cute girl’s ear – he couldn’t very well start ignoring you.
Not when your smile is so bright, your eyes sparkling with gratitude whenever he takes whatever floral arrangement you’ve lovingly bundled together out of your hands.
But now he’s paying the price – in more ways than one.
✧ ✧ ✧
Your flower stall is just a few feet away from one of the trendiest cafes in this area of Tokyo, and whoever oversees your little operation is obviously trying to capitalise on that. Setting up so early must be an attempt to catch the rush of bleary-eyed corporate workers craving their necessary morning coffee.
What use an office worker has for flowers, Megumi doesn’t know. But he has a feeling that you’d probably say something along the lines of “it’ll help brighten the place up.”
As usual, you’re waiting there patiently, eyes hopefully scanning the streets for any potential customers. Your face positively lights up when you finally catch sight of him – something that still makes Megumi nearly trip over his own feet.
“Good morning!” You call out, waving to him.
Megumi raises a hand in response, shuffling towards you with all the embarrassment of a high schooler on their way to their first date.
“Can I interest you in a floral arrangement on this fine Saturday morning?” You grin, eyes twinkling as you make your marketing pitch.
“Sure,” Megumi sighs, scanning the vast array of flowers currently on display. He’s getting better at picking them out, but he still can’t name any of them on sight.
You wait patiently, hands folded on the counter. If you think he’s an idiot, you keep it to yourself.
“Those ones,” he says, pointing at a group of blue heart-shaped flowers.
“The morning glories?” You ask reflexively, reaching over to pluck a bunch out of their display.
“Yeah,” Megumi shrugs. He has no idea what a morning glory is. The term sounds like something Gojou and Yuji would snicker at.
“They’re gorgeous,” you smile, taking a moment to admire them.
“Yeah,” Megumi says again.
Flowers aren’t really his thing; God help him if he was ever asked what his favourite kind was. But there’s no point in saying any of that – not when he’s already spent an embarrassing amount of money at this one stall.
“You’re keeping the business afloat, you know,” you giggle, as if reading his mind.
Megumi blinks at you. “Really?”
“Mhm,” you nod. “It wouldn’t be amiss to say you’re our most important patron.” You beam at him, same sparkle in your eyes as always.
He’d be furious, if you weren’t so nice.
How is he supposed to focus when you’re looking at him like that? How’s he supposed to ask who ‘we’ is? A business partner? A partner partner?
But you look so young. You can’t possibly be running a business. But you might have a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend. Or both. Or a partner of an otherwise non-binary gender.
Too many questions, no social capacity to ask them.
“So,” Megumi begins, his voice calm and composed as ever. His mind, however, is scrambling around like a fast-food joint at rush hour, trying to string together a sentence that’s not only coherent but also fascinating.
“How old are you?”
Whoops.
It’s the forbidden question. Or, at least, that’s what people always say. People, in this case, is Gojou. It usually is.
You seem unbothered. “I turn seventeen this year.”
Was it only a forbidden question for people who’re older? But in that case, surely knowing someone’s age was pertinent for the whole ‘respect’ thing. Maybe Gojou just didn’t think he should ever ask anyone’s age because then he’s not beholden to honorifics.
But Megumi can’t imagine him using them properly anyway.
That’s not the point. The point is that you’re the same age as him. You weren’t somehow twenty-seven with a baby face.
“Oh,” Megumi nods. “Me too.”
The smile you give him is almost unbearable. How is it even more of a smile than your usual smile? That doesn’t make any sense.
There’s a certain excitement bubbling in his gut that he doesn’t recognise or like.
Wait, if you’re his age, then…
“Do you not go to school on Saturdays?” He asks.
Is this conversation too dry? He’s not sure. He doesn’t usually make an effort at this sort of thing.
“My school doesn’t have classes on Saturday mornings,” you smile, meticulously wrapping brown paper around the stems of a set of particularly bright morning glories. You always do it so delicately; where on earth do you find the patience?
There’s something… graceful, about how you go about it. Sure, it’s your job, but Megumi still enjoys watching you work because—
“Hello there!”
Megumi knows that voice.
Oh no.
“Hello!” You fold your hands in front of you and give your new customer a bow. But your usual smile has been replaced with an expression of middling confusion as you look him up and down.
Megumi doesn’t need to turn around to know who’s standing behind him.
“Who’d’ve thought there’d be so many kinds of flowers in bloom, huh?” Gojou grins, slinging a lanky arm around Megumi’s shoulders.
Megumi glances to the side.
A pair of startingly blue eyes peek at him from behind black shades.
“What are you doing here?” He asks through gritted teeth.
“Oh, I thought I’d just come out for a morning stroll,” Gojou sighs, gesturing to the sky. “Don’t you think it’s gorgeous?”
Megumi’s ready to commit a murder.
“And look at all these flowers!” Gojou exclaims, bending down to peer at some asters closely. “Did you grow them all yourself?”
“Of course not,” you laugh. “I just sell them.”
Jealous maybe isn’t the right word. But there is a twisting in Megumi’s gut upon the realisation that within minutes of meeting you, Gojou had made you laugh. Megumi, on the other hand, was yet to do that.
“Well, either way, my student is a big fan,” Gojou smirks, shaking Megumi’s shoulder. Megumi’s soul is currently leaving his body.
“I was just telling him that he’s our most valued customer,” you smile, tilting your head at the pair of them.
“Ah, is that so?” Gojou grins. It’s amazing, really, how he manages to capture all the terror of the apocalypse in one smile. “I never really took him as a flower guy.”
“Everyone’s a flower guy, sir,” you tsk, shaking your head. “Even you.”
Gojou places an affronted hand on his chest. “So quick to make assumptions!”
“Not at all,” you smile. “You’d be surprised by what our customer base looks like.”
“You don’t say,” Gojou grins, turning to Megumi.
Megumi considers the consequences of punching Gojou right in the nether regions. He doubts he’d be punished for it by the higher ups; if anything, he’ll probably be rewarded. Maybe even pushed up a grade for his invaluable service.
“Fushiguro!”
Oh no.
Megumi’s eyes widen ever so slightly. His head whips round to Gojou. His teacher is already looking straight at him.
“Ah,” Gojou grins. “I told Yuji to meet me here this morning.” The glint in his eyes strikes terror right through Megumi’s departing soul.
Sure enough, Itadori barrels his way towards them, damn near colliding against Megumi with a ‘thump’.
Megumi can do something but stare into the abyss, hoping, wishing, praying this is just a nightmare.
Unfortunately, it’s not.
You give the newest addition to this strange little posse a customary bow. “Good morning!”
Itadori beams at you, his entire face lighting up. “Good morning!”
A strange panic starts to rise from Megumi’s gut. If he thought about it, you and Itadori would get along well. Too well.
Thoughts of you and Itadori walking hand in hand down the street as you laugh, Itadori offering you his coat on a clod morning as you blush, Itadori walking you home, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully as you lean towards him and –
Megumi blinks the thoughts away. What is wrong with him today?
You and Itadori have just met. And what was it to Megumi anyway? It’s not like he—
“Megumi?” Itadori tilts his head at him.
Megumi stares back blankly. “Hm?”
“I wanted to know how you found this place,” Itadori asks, voice bright but with the uncertain quality inherent to repeating oneself.
“Oh,” Megumi murmurs. “Well, I…”
In truth, he doesn’t remember. He just saw you one morning and decided to approach. He still doesn’t know why. But he doesn’t regret it.
“I roped him in with my charm,” you piqued up, picking up the lull in conversation.
Try as he might, Megumi just can’t concentrate. Itadori’s pressed against him, Gojou’s still got his arm slung around his shoulder, and—
“Ah, Nobara’s here!” Gojou beams, waving a hand over his head.
“What are you doing here of all places?” Nobara frowns, raising an eyebrow at Megumi. “I wouldn’t have taken this as your sort of scene.”
If there’s a hell, Megumi’s sure it’s this.
Conversation is bubbling around him but none of it is registering in his mind, he can see Nobara’s dissatisfied look as she takes in the situation at hand but he doesn’t have the energy to retort, Gojou is playing with the petals of one of the display flowers but Megumi knows he’s not going to buy it and—
“Hey, Megumi?”
He snaps back to reality at the sound of your voice, gentle and concerned.
“Are you alright?” You ask, tilting your head to the side. It’s as if you’re completely ignoring the rabble, as if you see him and only him.
Next to him Gojou, Yuji and Nobara watch with rapt attention.
“Yeah,” he lies. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”
You frown at you look at him. Something flashes in your eyes and you suddenly duck beneath your countertop.
Megumi and his gaggle of fools blink in surprise.
In a moment you hop back up, something purple bundled up in your hands. “Here,” you smile, handing it out to him, “this is supposed to help you sleep.”
One whiff and he knows it’s lavender.
“How much?” Megumi asks.
You shake your head. “Oh, no. It’s on me.”
Megumi’s heart flutters as you smile. Despite the chaos going on around him, despite the fact that he knows he’s going to be mocked for this for weeks to come, he’s grateful.
Somehow.
“Sorry about this…” he mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck.
“It’s fine,” you giggle, shaking your head.
Megumi feels Gojou chuckle quietly, his chest rattling. Itadori is unusually quiet and Nobara seems moments away from a laughing fit.
“I should go,” Megumi says quickly and suddenly. He doesn’t give you time to respond, zipping down the street as fast as his feet can carry him. He needs a shower and then a run and then he needs to beat a training dummy up and then—
“Wait, Megumi!”
He freezes in his tracks. That’s… your voice.
And around his wrist is… is…
He turns to look at you over his shoulder, eyes darting for where you hand wraps around his wrist. Why is his heart racing so absurdly fast? Why does it feel like his head’s about to explode? You’re just holding his wrist. You’re not even touching his skin. Not that it matters—
“Will I see you tomorrow?” You ask, not quite able to meet his gaze.
It brings him back to the moment.
“Of course,” Megumi answers reflexively.
You finally lift your eyes up. They seem to be sparkling. “I look forward to it.”
Before he even has time to process it you’ve let him go and trotted back to your stall, tending to your flowers as if nothing’d happened.
This has been too much embarrassment for one day. He’s not entirely sure what’s going on and he’s not sure he wants to know. But man, he needs at least several hours alone to process everything.
As Megumi shuffles away, Gojou bounds after him, still grinning like a fool.
“So, Megumi’s got himself a—”
Megumi elbows him in the stomach before Gojou even has a chance to finish his sentence.
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alluringjae · 3 years
Text
it’s a royal order - jjh
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⤑ summary: one of your royal campaigns became a success, and your bodyguard jaehyun was there to see it all happen. it’s only fair to celebrate, right?
⤑ pairing: jaehyun x female reader
⤑ word count: 2k
⤑ genre: fluff, suggestive (dirty talk, jaehyun got a daddy kink, superiority complex!!), implied smut | bodyguard!jaehyun, princess!reader, slight enemies to lovers!au, modern royal!au (where south korea remains under monarchial power)
⤑ warnings: mentions of alcohol, drugs, family problems and therapy, explicit language
⤑ playlist: lows by pink sweat$ | céline by gallant | i put a spell on you by iza | nasty by ariana grande | dance for you by beyonce | body by sinead harnett
⤑ author’s note: this is definitely less emotional than all i do is wait! i got this idea from a show i really enjoyed before it got cancelled named the royals. specifically, i really liked the story of eleanor and jasper, which is the whole princess x bodyguard dynamic. the pining and tension, ugh! if you know this show or not, it doesn’t matter. anyways, thank you for the 30+ followers and 200 notes on aidiw! enjoy!
i need holy water because of this piece.
⤑ credits to jeongjaehyuns for the gif above uwu
⤑  leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!
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“On behalf of the royal family, I would like to extend my utmost support for the Anti-School Violence campaign for all students to have a safer and more meaningful learning environment.” You proudly announced to the board of officials alongside other influential individuals in Korean society.
Being the only princess in the current royal line may have its pressures, but holding a strong, direct impact for a brighter future for the people motivated you to take advantage of your platform for the better. As the image of pure innocence and revamped women empowerment, you aimed to accomplish all the things your mother wished she could before her untimely death alongside your personal aspirations.
Expressing genuine joy with the campaign, with a tinge of desire to annoy the old-fashioned and closeminded officials, your prying eyes were more enamored by a certain man in the back clapping by the ballroom doors. You can’t help but act flustered whenever he witnessed you in a state of success and satisfaction.
This man went by the name Jeong Jaehyun, your trusted bodyguard since you were in your early twenties. 3 years later, he still stuck by your side and helped you endure all the darkness as a royal.
Back then, you went through a rebellious phase that was ruining the image of your family. Clubbing almost every night, drugs, skipping school, you even managed to get all assigned bodyguards to quit! The media ate up all your tricks, turning them into scandals. That was the plan, of course. You desired your own freedom from all the royal obligations because you didn’t ask to be born into that lifestyle. To all of your peers who wished to be in your footsteps, you would’ve impulsively passed your title to them. There’s so much deception that lies behind the glitz and glam of it all.
This unexpected change in your former untainted attitude came to the point that your father, the king himself, stepped in and personally assigned one of his men to get you in check. He figured that appointing a guard nearest your age may lessen the tension and mend you back together.
In the start, you absolutely despised him. There was no way to fool him when you were up to no good. He easily found your alcohol and drug stash which he disposed of on the spot and stood by your bedroom door every night so you wouldn’t sneak out past curfew (which your father also strictly implemented).
One big turning point in your relationship was when he rushed you to the royal hospital when you drank a cocktail that went unnoticeably spiked. To think that this was a typical social gathering with other royals and officials, you’re a constant target to many. You didn’t wake up for a few days, and the entire time, Jaehyun willingly stood by your bedside and outside your hospital room.
Since that and more instances your father insisted you get involved in royal affairs, you softened up. As cliché as it was, the more time spent with him, the more you knew about him and vice versa. He was the one that got you to fully open up about your grief towards your late mother, encouraging you to seek help. Turns out you weren’t as different as you thought despite your differing ranks in society when he also had a void for a missing parent. In his case, it was his father, who ditched his family for his mistress. Silently, you helped each other recover from your traumas alongside therapy. From dreading his presence, you started treating him more casually. Your father’s tactic of assigning a bodyguard around your age admittedly worked.
Oh, how time flies.
This campaign was the last thing on your weekend agenda, so you had the entire late afternoon and evening to yourself. Bowing one last time to the audience, you stepped down from the platform and accepted the soft hand of your bodyguard, who quickly made his way to you despite the flashing cameras. It was something he got used to as it is part of the job.
Once he successfully ushered you out of the ballroom, his hand still held yours. Nothing new, except this event was quite public and you didn’t want anyone to get any wrong ideas. Strolling down one of the many hallways in the palace became a pastime for the both of you, where no one can catch you. It was a safe haven within the destructive life of the Park kingdom.
“You did phenomenal as I expected, your highness.” Jaehyun complimented, recalling your panic the night before as the stage fright hit strong when you were reciting your speech to him over and over again.
“We are in private, Jaehyun. Must you really use those formalities with me?” You taunted, bobbing your head sideways mockingly. With him could you felt like a normal young adult, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. Jaehyun loved being frisky with you, catching you get irked up. And he was up to do it again.
“Hmm last time we strolled these halls, Yuta caught us making out after a successful meeting with the Prime Minister.”
You gasped at his statement, conscious of whoever may be in the vicinity. But before you could refute, your hand that was interlocked with his were mightily slammed against the white wall. You lost your breath for a moment, his warm body closely on yours. His free hand freely roamed up and down your covered waist. His lips were dangerously near your neck, where you’re sensitive. Your hips naturally grinded against him to release the pent-up tension.
“Something tells me you want to do it again, princess?” Now he’s just using your title as a pet name, but you couldn’t complain. It just hits differently when the situation was set up like this.
“I deserve it, don’t I? Got a lot of those hell-driven officials on my side for this round.” You raised both your brows cockily, licking your lips.
“Hell yeah, you do.” Finally, he rids of the tension and plants open kisses on your bare neck. Your throaty moans were uncontrollable, and you could care less.
“My princess,”
Kiss.
“So intelligent,”
Kiss.
“So benevolent,”
Kiss.
“So helpful,”
Kiss.
“But,” He changed his pace and direction, swollen lips near your ear.
“But?” You question naïvely. He scoffed, smirking at your antics of playing dumb.
“But a total slut for her bodyguard.” He dominantly planted his lips against yours, one of his veiny hands gripping on your waist and the other by the arch of your butt. He was hungry, needy even. Due to your shared schedules, it’s been a constant struggle to have proper alone time from the snooping eyes of Korean society. After all, it wasn’t in the norm for a princess to fall deep for her bodyguard. Nor were you sure you would be accepted by anyone. Yuta, the bodyguard of your oldest brother, the crowned prince Jinyoung, finding the both of you at that time was a total shock but didn’t care either.
All that mattered was that your feelings towards each other are real and strong. Accepted or not, you had each other.
All this lust put you in a daze, wanting much more than another smooch fest in the hallway. Tugging on his belt, he squeezed your butt tightly. You emitted a moan, which allowed his tongue access. No way could you keep your hands to yourself, touching his upper body and the flexing of his abdominal muscles from his button-up. You felt his now hard member poking through.
Analyzing your area, you were on the other side of the palace. Farther to your bedroom where numerous rendezvouses were made, one kink you’ve considered in the past amplified your mind. Considering this area was also the king’s side, and he was abroad for royal affairs, this was your chance.
“I have an idea, my love. You up for it?” You rose a brow at your lover, challenging him. Not one to overpower this man in bed, but always suggesting a way on how to spice it up.
“And what exactly does your feral brain want to do with me, princess?” His finger lifted your chin so you meet eye to eye. You can just see the fire still burning, and oh how you were ready to intensify it.
“The main ballroom, where my father and late mother’s throne rest, are a few doors away.” Your fingers signal him to lower his stance as his tall height was difficult to reach. With a sneaky smirk,
“Let me ride you in the king’s throne, my love.” Your lips brushed over his and sucked his bottom lip, tugging him by his belt. He groaned, squeezing your butt. “It’s a royal order.”  
“Nasty, your highness. Insanely nasty, you are.” His hands hoisted your waist, boosting you up in his arms. You gasped with profanities, ravenously cut off by his lips again. His nails digging deep in your bare thighs, your legs naturally linked themselves around his torso while your arms passionately intertwined his broad neck.
In between kisses, he carried you to the said main ballroom. One of your wildest imaginations, just a second away. This room remained to be the only place without any guards stationed technological advancements or updated interior designs to preserve its traditional beauty. Dated as far as the 19th century, only special events were held and the highest of the high were allowed inside. Spacious, surrounded by gold linings majestic paintings of angels from above with a huge crystal chandelier right above the center. Right ahead, the original thrones that your ancestors, grandparents, and parents sat on when they were throned in its pure glory.
Pushing your lover on the king’s throne, the gold sun-like rays plastered behind the headrest, he cockily leaned back and manspread his legs for comfort. He rubbed his hands before patting his thigh, waiting for your submission. But you weren’t going to give in just yet.
Not when you prepared a mini-show just for him underneath your designer silk dress.
Jaehyun’s solemn eyes marveled over your gorgeous figure as you stripped down one strap after the other. Due to its silk fabric, it effortlessly dropped down to your figure to reveal a new set of black lace lingerie from your previous trip to Paris. Ages ago, Jaehyun unhesitatingly ripped your favorite ones during his birthday, so you decided to get a mature version of it. A version where your bra lifted your breasts more and undies hiked up to your waist to elongate your legs. Only for the eyes of yourself and the man in front of you, establishing that you were a powerful woman who can be absolutely anyone she can be. Princess, a normal young adult, or his slut, it’s up to you how you see yourself.
Jaehyun mumbled all the profanities he could think of at the moment. Looking like a divine angel when the sun from outside shuns behind you, his slacks tightening so much more than a while ago.
“All this for me?” He ogled shamelessly, undoing the buttons of his dress shirt and untying his necktie. “What did I do to deserve such regal treatment?”
You sneered at his comment, stepping out your dress in your heels and stationing right in front of his luring lap. “You’ve always been there for me, thick and thin. I think you deserve a reward, don’t you think?”
Lowering yourself to straddle him, his breath hissed when your damp core collided with his crotch. Distracted and caught in your trap, “I don’t think you answered my question, my love.”
Rather than a verbal response, he roughly pulled you back in for a kiss. His hands scattered to explore from your back down to your waist. Your hands messily ran through his hair, tugging on some when your body got too sensitive to his wild touches. The thrilling sounds of the two of you drowning in your fiery romance bounced throughout the ballroom, not minding if anyone passed by the hallways outside. It was a private room after all, and whatever happens here, stays here.
Rolling on his crotch while his lips trailed down to your collarbones, the quick snap of your bra wires echoed. The tight lift lessened as Jaehyun’s fingers dropped the straps, unveiling your bare chest covered in his marks.
“Enough playing, princess. Let daddy have some real fun with you.”
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