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literary-masochism · 4 years

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Midnight Sun: Chapter 2 - Bella is an Eldritch Abomination

So... I managed to finish the first chapter with only a day break in the middle of it instead of the year or so break I had to take with Twilight. I was hoping that, since this chapter starts off in a completely original place that it'll be... I don't know... less painful? Easier?

That was a lot to hope for, wasn't it?

Instead, it took a bit over two weeks to get through this chapter. It'd take me an hour to get through a page because of all the bad.

But hey! I got it done and now I can enjoy a nice slice of red velvet cake.

Chapter Two: Open Book

Edward, unable to control his 'monster', has fled to Alaska where he can mope while blending into the snowy scenery like the lump of ice he is. He's slumped down in a snow bank, describing it as 'velvet under his skin'. Not sure how because he's definitely heavy enough to crush snow into slush but I guess Meyerpires are Tolkien Elves as well.

Also, Meyerpires see stars as if they were pained by Van Gogh

The sky above me was clear, brilliant with stars, glowing blue in some places, yellow in others. The stars created majestic, swirling shapes against the black backdrop of the empty universe—an awesome sight. Exquisitely beautiful. Or rather, it should have been exquisite. Would have been, if I’d been able to really see it.

But, of course, Edward has to ruin it by doing this:

When I stared up at the jeweled sky, it was as if there were an obstruction between my eyes and its beauty. The obstruction was a face, just an unremarkable human face, but I couldn’t quite seem to banish it from my mind.

Another vampire by the name of Tanya (further proof that Meyer subconsciously hates someone (me) that she's never met – Tanya's my given name) is sneaking/not sneaking up on Edward's mope party and... there's a line I'm a bit confused by...

I think Edward's calling Tanya 'exquisite'. I guess Edward just learned that word from his word-a-day calendar because he's used it 3 times already and it's been a bit more than half a page.

She mentally calls out 'Cannonball' and does a flying jump into the snowbank and, in an astounding turn of events, she doesn't land lightly on top of the loose snow, leaving no trace of her dive but instead actually sends up a spray of snow over Edward because fuck that guy.

Sorry, not snow but 'feathery ice crystals'.

Edward sighs and accepts his fate of being mildly snowed upon as the face of the Void haunts his every thought. Or something.

Tanya, concerned that Edward was becoming one with winter and would soon be lost to them all, digs him out of the snow and apologizes, saying 'it was a joke'.

He assures her it was funny (it wasn't) then continues to cry into his metaphorical pint of ice cream.

They have a short conversation about how Tanya thinks she's annoying Edward by coming onto him nonstop and Edward admits to being uncomfortable by it. Tanya isn't used to rejection and mentally gives Edward a slideshow of all the sex she's had over the years.

Gross. And also sexual harassment.

Edward mopes about how much of a coward he is and how, no matter where he goes, he'll just be running away from Forks. Tanya tells him to grow a pair and just go back to Folks (not those exact words) and tries to steal a liplocky kiss which Edward dodges.

With her plan to deflower Edward thoroughly ruined, she pouts with a 'you're welcome, I guess' and leaves – hopefully to never bother us again.

She was on her feet in one nimble move, and then she was running away, ghosting across the snow so quickly that her feet had no time to sink in. She left no prints behind her.

Fucking Elves...

Anyway, Edward curls up in a fetal position to stare in the general direction of the stars that he can't see because the Void takes up all his vision.

He finally gets off his ass and Legolases his way back to the car and every Tolkien fan weeps.

I just want to point out that Tolkien elves leave no footprint because they are considered otherworldly and are three quarters literal spirits.

Meyer considers her vampires to be 'of science' (and I'm assuming Meyer means the kind of science that says the earth is flat and vaccines make you autistic). Now, I admit I'm not the best at math or science but...

Bull. Shit.

The implication here is that the vampires are going so fast over the snow that their feet don't have time to sink into the snow and leave a mark. But the thing is: it's not an issue of speed, it's an issue of weight. Running is basically pushing your weight forward and to do that your feet push down. The more you weigh, the deeper your feet sink in.

This is powdery snow. A too harsh sneeze is going to leave a mark.

This is not the first time Meyer has a problem with her overpowered vampires and them breaking the very basics of physics.

No, Meyer, Edward can't run into the bathroom, fill up a glass with water, and run back to Bella's room in a blink of an eye. Yes, Edward can be that fast... the sink isn't.

Sure, Edward can hear any other human on the road and adjust his driving that way... can he hear the deer that might be crossing in front? And even if his reflexes are the fastest in the west... a car has momentum and inertia that has nothing to do with vampire speed/reflexes/whatever other excuse.

If I was doing segments or counters or something, this would be the first in “Meyer doesn't understand basic science'.

Please, let me know if I'm wrong about this. I'd love a science lesson on things like this...

With that out of the way, I checked the leaked PDF for this part and... some of the trash was taken out. That's something at least.

Anyway, back in Forks...

The Cullens walk into the school cafeteria (calling it 'run-down' which is the only time I can recall it being called such) like a bomb is about to explode at any moment. Alice is so focused on watching the future that Jasper has to lead her around by the arm. Emmett is walking around like a bodyguard and Rose is already done with this bullshit.

Way to not draw attention to yourselves.

We also get told that they actually had a very fun morning, having a snowball fight (aka pelting Edward with snow until that got boring) and how it's such a drastic change from how tense everything is now.

Meyer, you know what would have really set off that difference? IF YOU ACTUALLY WROTE THAT INSTEAD OF TELLING US IT HAPPENED.

I can even tell you how to do you could have done that while adding to the tension. You could have had Edward waiting by the car since five in the morning after having Esme and Carlisle give him a pep talk all night and hearing Emmett and Jasper plotting ways to break the tension. You can have him getting annoyed by having to avoid the snowballs before finally getting into the car to put a stop to it. You can have Esme thinking positive thoughts at him and giving him a thumbs-up while they drive away.

You could have had character, relationship, and world building but... no. No, instead we get straight to the whining, no more aware of just what is at stake than we were before.

This writing fucking sucks.

Edward listens to all the thoughts around him. He's absolutely certain Bella told everyone how he traumatized her with his mean looks so surely everyone would be gossiping about them!

Have you see how mean he looked at Bella a week ago?! Surely they're not human if one of them can give a random girl such a mean look!

You see how stupid that is, Meyer?

A normal girl would have asked around, compared her experience to others’, looked for common ground that would explain my behavior so she didn’t feel singled out. Humans were constantly desperate to feel normal, to fit in. To blend in with everyone else around them, like a featureless flock of sheep. The need was particularly strong during the insecure adolescent years. This girl would be no exception to that rule.

bEcAuSe BeLlA iSn'T lIkE oThEr GiRlS.

Also, fuck you.

Edward is amazed by how shy Bella must be to not have told anyone that he gave her a nasty look! He wonders if she told her father but decides she must be closer to her mother but he'll have to read Charlie's thoughts just to be sure.

Edward, of course, doesn't know Bella holds her father in contempt and seems to utterly loath him until the plot requires otherwise.

As he's listening to the entire student body, he informs us that, a week ago when he went to Carlisle to get his car, they had a talk about how vampire powers always got stronger and never went away which was what Edward was worried about.

WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO SEE THAT TOO!

They're all amazed that Bella didn't spill the beans about how mean they can look at people. As Bella's coming in, they all try to act normal.

So Emmett throws a snowball he had hidden in his ice-cold hand and threw it at Alice who, seeing it coming, flicked it away so that it flew across the very large room and hit a brick wall... cracking said wall.

You maybe be wondering why the snowball didn't break as soon as it hit her fingers... Shut up, that's how!

“Very human, Emmett,” Rosalie said scathingly. “Why don’t you punch through the wall while you’re at it?”

“It would look more impressive if you did it, gorgeous.”

Okay, I can forgive it for this line.

Edward checks to see if their 'acting' worked. Bella is standing in the lunchline – not moving at all to the point where people have to check to make sure she didn't have a stroke or something. Bella claims she feels sick and Edward gets a rage boner over Mike getting worried for her.

Also: Translucent skin.

Edward realizes he was showing human emotion by worrying about Bella so much that he calls himself an idiot for acting like the 'dimwitted' Mike Newton and vows to stop worrying about stupid things aka Bella.

We know how that goes.

And, in case you forgot/didn't know that Emmett killed a little old lady...

“Ease up, Edward,” Emmett said. “Honestly. So you kill one human. That’s hardly the end of the world.”

“You would know,” I murmured.

Emmett laughed. “You’ve got to learn to get over things. Like I do. Eternity is a long time to wallow in guilt.”

Also, does Emmett not know that Edward went on a murder spree? Emmett, we know, killed two people, maybe a few more... Edward killed, at least, a several dozen.

Edward don't feel guilty about shit.

To help make them look normal, Alice throws ice in Emmett's face so he shakes his head, releasing a 'deluge' of melted snow everywhere. Apparently, Emmett's head can hold a lake's worth of water or Meyer doesn't understand what 'deluge' actually means.

Also, the Cullens are notorious for being closed off, strange, and weird. From the first chapter, they sit in silence, not talking to each other, not even looking at each other. Wouldn't this sudden play fight be so out of character for them that it would draw the entire of... everyone in the room? This would be like if your stern, religious grandmother decided to throw a rave.

Somehow, no one else seems to notice the extremely out of characterness of the Cullens but Edward does catch Bella looking at them again. Edward tries to listen to her thoughts because maybe this time it'll work.

Guess what? She's still a void.

What follows is Meyer trying really hard to make Jessica unlikable to retroactively make Bella's assholery towards her in the previous books seem justified.

Edward catches on to Bella trying to ignore him. When lunch is over, the Cullen's stay at their table, waiting on him to decide what he's going to do and...

Would I go to class, sit beside the girl, where I could smell the absurdly potent scent of her blood and feel the warmth of her pulse in the air on my skin?

'feel the warmth of her pulse in the air on my skin'

I know what Meyer is trying to say but... there are a LOT better ways of saying it.

The whole Cullen family discussed what Edward's choices were and the consequences would mean... also pointing out that they are all, more or less, monsters who don't give a flying fuck about humans in any meaningful way. If ants could give a fuck, the Cullens would give less of a fuck than an ant's fuck. That's how little fucks they give in regards to humans.

Carlisle disapproves but isn't going to stop Edward if decides to get to chomping.

Jasper disapprove too but more in a 'Why does Edward get to kill people but not me?' kind of way.

Rosalie wonders how Edward fucking up is going to ruin her day.

Alice is useless (as always)

Esme thinks Edward 'can do no wrong' so I guess she'll probably be very proud and impressed by how good of a murder he is. I mean, he did murder her abusive ex-husband...

And Emmett was just remembering all the murdering he did and how fun that was and decided to poke the bear that is Jasper into remembering how tasty humans are.

So, yeah, fuck all these guys.

I don't think I touched on this previously but I know pointing out the monstrous things the Cullens do seems counter-productive and hypocritical. Vampires are monsters and I'm angry they act like monsters? No. I'm angry because they claim they're not monsters and then wave off whatever evil they do as inconsequential because of their lifestyle.

A vampire wants to be good? Great, I want to see that conflict in their nature. I want to see them fight against their nature and see the guilt from their past. I want to see the pain and struggle so that we they fail or succeed it has a real, emotional payoff. I love those stories.

The Cullens... don't have that. There's lip service towards it but it's only skin-deep. None of them really seem to care about human lives (Bella being the exception) and it shows. They may act nice enough (and barely even that) but that doesn't make them good.

Their search for redemption/a normal life/whatever else they claim to want is like a smug billionaire talking about how they had to settle for the solid gold napkin rings because a diamond encrusted one clashed too much with their aesthetic but that's the price one has to pay I guess. Life truly is suffering.

Their sincerity rings false and it shows.

Back to this shit show and, in a genuinely surprising turn of events, Jasper 'Murder-boner' Hale tells Edward to take it slow, maybe even go home. Yes, Jasper is a bit smug that Perfect Edward was struggling but it's still better advice than any of these other murderers have suggested.

But, of course, Edward's pride is more important than these insignificant humans so he stays.

Edward decides to go, of course he does, but he also remembers how he promised himself that he wouldn't get 'unduly interested' in Bella because she's the void. He seems to have forgotten that, in the same breath, he vowed to figure out what she was thinking no matter what.

(But we already know everyone in this book has a selective memory when it comes to moving the plot along.)

He wonders if staring into the void will somehow help him figure out what she's thinking.

He hurries his butt to class, making sure we know what each individual 'sibling' feels about this. He gets to class before it starts and sees Bella doodling on her folder. He thinks that this will be a peek into Bella's thoughts...

… and he's disappointed that it's just circles within circles (though now I wonder if a picture of the drawings from The Ring might not have been better). He does the thing I hate where Meyer sucker punches us with a hint concerning Bella's actions from the first book: he concludes that she must to be thinking of something other than what she's actually doodling.

As he sits down, he notices her 'deer in headlights, if I don't move the car can't see me' approach to being near him and, in a moment of true human emotion, he promises himself he'll try and leave a better impression this time so she's not so scare of him.

Just kidding, he's going to leave a good impression to gaslight the fuck out of her into thinking she just imagined him giving her a mean look.

He gives her his most polite smile, careful not to show his teeth. I don't know why because Meyerpires don't have fangs.

Bella stares at him in wide-eyed confusion which is, apparently, the exact expression he's been daydreaming about for the last week.

...okay? Weirdo.

He stares into her eyes, telling us all the shades of brown they are (milk chocolate but clearer like tea because I guess Meyer didn't realize tea can be pretty dark) and about the flecks of color in them that isn't brown (basically bright green and yellow only described with more purple prose) and never realizing that means her eyes are hazel which I find hilarious after the big deal they made about losing Bella's dark brown eyes due to the food meter vampire eyes they have.

To Edweirdo's surprise, he finds he can't hate her anymore.

I approve because at least we get to see this tiny bit of actual falling in love here that was, as far as I'm concerned, completely and utterly absent in the rest of the series. Seriously, it was getting awkward with them getting married and her pushing out a kid and I'm still waiting for any hint that they're actually in love.

It's a nice change of pace.

Edward stares her into submission and claims he didn't have a chance to introduce himself and, being the gentleman he is, he reminds her of her own name, in case she forgot.

Bella, having forgotten that new students usually get introduced to the class and that, after a week of being at school, most people would know her preferred calling... asks how the person sitting next to her knows her nickname.

I must have truly terrified her, and this made me feel guilty. I laughed gently—it was a sound that I knew made humans more at ease.

“Oh, I think everyone knows your name.” Surely, she must have realized that she’d become the center of attention in this monotonous place. “The whole town’s been waiting for you to arrive.”

The thing is: she does know she's the center of attention because she bitched about it nonstop in the first book! Which makes the 'Isabella/Bella' thing even more stupid.

She frowned as if this information was unpleasant. I supposed, being shy as she appeared to be, attention would seem like a bad thing to her. Most humans felt the opposite. Though they didn’t want to stand out from the herd, at the same time they craved a spotlight for their individual uniformity.

Fuck off! Just fuck off!

I had to take a break after that stupid just so I could deal with the stupidity of the rest of the page.

I know it's a stupid thing to get hung up on but Meyer plays Edward knowing Bella's name as the first hint that he can read minds and... it's really not a good example. Especially with how Edward reacts to it:

I’d just realized what her questions meant: I had slipped up—made an error. If I hadn’t been eavesdropping on all the others that first day, then I would have addressed her initially by her full name. She’d noticed the difference.

I felt a pang of unease. It was very quick of her to pick up on my slip. Quite astute, especially for someone who was supposed to be terrified by my proximity.

Yes, you heard it all the time that first day and probably the first day back since that's her preferred name. Everyone calls her that, especially by now. It's not a hard thing to pick up on. Edward acts as though she's going to call him out on his vampirism any moment now. It's not only stupid but it's a bad plot device to try and convince us how astute Bella is when, really, it's just Edward being paranoid because despite being a vampire around humans since 1920, he has no idea how to act around them and has never made the effort.

To make matters worse, his coping mechanism around Bella is to not breath... and he needs to do that now if he wants to keep talking to her. Because not talking to her would be 'incomprehensible rude'. Because that's what matters here: politeness.

Edward needs a cheekily little breath and...

Ahh!

It was intensely painful, like swallowing burning coals.

Meyer... when people go 'Ahh!' after taking a breath, or having a drink, or anything refreshing really, it's because they're expressing relief... not because they're in sudden pain.

We get the same awkward (in a good way because teenagers are supposed to be awkward) 'Ladies first' exchange concerning the microscope.

Bella just stares at him blankly...

… and having seen the darkness that surrounds and inhabits every living thing in the universe, he says he can start if she likes and to please not consume his consciousness to feed her insatiable appetite.

I added the last part but I feel it was implied.

She insists she goes first and, fearing for his soul/consciousness/whatever, he agrees. She says it's prophase. He asks to check it and:

Instinctively—stupidly, as if I were one of her kind—

Gotta make sure we know he thinks humans are stupid. You know, in case you forgot.

Their hands briefly touch and they're zapped with the Static Shock of Twu Wuv though Meyer plays it off as Bella's skin feeling so hot against Edward's cold, disgusting, yucky, cootie-ridden hand. He wonders what she must think after touching his horrible, icy skin and concludes she must be repulsed by him.

Or, you know, think you were having a snowball fight with your siblings during lunch. Or that you have poor circulation. Or that it's fucking Forks and everything is cold.

Also, Meyerpires's relation to temperature doesn't make sense unless they are a literal heatsink. Their temperature don't settle into that of the area around them, like other dead things/rock, but just absorbs heat nonstop. But that's a complaint we'll see again later.

Terrified that if he glanced into the void once again his mind would become consumed with madness, he does the next slide in their assignment. She asks to check his answer since turnabout is fairplay. Except Edward has, apparently, never heard of this and is shocked that this lowly hooman/eldritch being might think he's wrong!

But he sees the hopeful look on her skinless face and can't help but smile because Mood Whiplash is something else Meyer doesn't get. Bella is disappointed to find Edward is right but decides to spare his sanity in order to fuck with mine:

I dropped the next slide into her palm, keeping my skin far from hers this time. Sitting beside her was like sitting next to a heat lamp. I could feel myself warming slightly to the higher temperature.

THAT IS NOT HOW... HE CAN'T JUST GET HEAT FROM... AMBIENT TEMPERATURE...

They finish the assignment first because of fucking course they did and then we get this:

Wish he’d stayed wherever he went, Mike thought, eyeing me sulfurously.

Mike thought, eyeing me sulfurously.

eyeing me sulfurously.

sulfurously.

THAT IS NOT A PROPER WORD. EVEN IF IT WAS, THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE.

WAS MIKE EYEING YOU SO HARD YELLOWISH VAPOR THAT SMELLS OF ROTTING EGGS WAS COMING OUT? DID HIS EYES TURN YELLOW INSTEAD OF YOURS?!

BECAUSE THAT IS EVERY MEANING FOR SULFUROUS, MEYER JUST ADDED 'LY' TO THE END BECAUSE SHE HATES ME AND EVERYONE ELSE.

Okay, I'm calm now.

Edward is surprised about how much Mike seems to hate him. Way to go on that whole 'Keep track of everyone's thoughts in case the townsfolk have a sudden interest in pitchforks and torches' thing.

He's also surprised to find the feeling is mutual. I'm surprised because Edward already hates everyone and everything so why is this new information?

Edward admits he understands Mike's attraction, that Bella is actually kinda pretty for a human...

Fuck you.

...but in an 'unusual' way.

Better than being beautiful, her face was… unexpected. Not quite symmetrical—her narrow chin out of balance with her wide cheekbones

Aka: a heart shaped face which is actually a very common face shape and classically attractive.

extreme in the coloring—the contrast of her light skin and dark hair

Also a very feature that we see over and over again in conventionally attractive actors/models/what have you.

and then there were the eyes, too big for her face, brimming over with silent secrets.…

Eyes that were suddenly boring into mine.

Bella decides to spare his consciousness but only so she could send it out of his body, trapping him in the nothingness between atoms to witness the everlasting and all encompassing void and know nothing else for all eternity.

Nah, she was just wondering why his eyes are all sulfurously yellow and weird looking.

Edward:

We get a long paragraph of Edward explaining that yes, his eyes are different because he ate all the Bambis and Bambis's Moms in the forest though he used more words than that.

He then calls himself an idiot for not realizing why Bella was asking about contacts.

He tells us that in the two years of being in that school that no one every looked at them close enough to notice their eye colors – despite them being extremely beautiful and attractive – because once they get a glimpse of their beauty, they're disgusted by them and have to look away because humans are just so stupid, you know?

Why did it have to be this girl who would see too much?

In reality, she ain't seen shit. Though, with Meyer goggles firmly in place...

The teacher comes to investigate why these two monsters aren't working, being the creep who, according to Meyer, fantasized about Bella, his underaged student, when she first moved to Forks, decides wemins can't science and assumes Edward did all the work.

Upon learning that Bella answered most of them, the teacher reevaluates his life and how, maybe, the female population aren't as dumb as he thought and thus deserve to be more than masturbation fodder for him.

Or Bella can just admit she already did this assignment in her much better, city-based school she went to before, thus helping to undermine her contribution as well as her intelligence.

Neither make Meyer look particularly good because, even if she didn't write the teacher lusting after his students into the text, she did reveal it elsewhere and thus can be argued to be canon.

Also: Banner calls Bella 'Isabella' but he doesn't have the excuse of fleeing the country for a week. Does he never do roll call? Has she never corrected him in that week? Has he completely missed her signing her work with 'Bella'?

Truly, the most mysterious thing that has happened so far.

Anyway, Banner is shocked that Bella's already did the assignment because he pulled it from a senior class...

So... did he not actually tell them what to look for? No chapter to read, no diagrams drawn/projected on the board? He just... pulled out some slides, told them words they might not have even covered, then set them to it?

What a fucking asshole.

Also, googling it I can find lessons on mitosis going back to Middle School.

At this rate the art teacher will be shocked that Bella can draw a triangle.

Also:

She was advanced, then, intelligent for a human. This did not surprise me.

Fuck you.

Banner walks off, muttering to himself about kids these days, not instinctively knowing science because he sure as fuck isn't going to teach it to them.

Edward is ashamed of his 'slips' in the past thirty minutes and is still completely sure that Bella is not only terrified of him but suspects something. He's determined to leave a good impression on her because... gaslighting.

Edward tries some small talk he heard the hoomans around them doing (because after 17 years of BEING human and several decades of pretending to be human, he still has no idea how to human).

He brings up the snow melting and how that sucks, huh?

She stares into his mind and rips every memory, thought, hope, and dream he's ever had and sends the shreds into the void where they belong.

Her reaction of 'Not really' sends him for a loop. Thankfully, he's a vampire which makes him so much smarter than everyone else in existence and he puts together that she's probably from a much warmer place (because her albino skin still seems somehow tanned to him) and thus must hate all this cold weather!

He announces his revelation: “You don't like the cold.”

She agrees and tacks on that she doesn't like the wet either.

Edward's reaction is fucking hilarious:

“Forks must be a difficult place for you to live.” Perhaps you should not have come here, I wanted to add. Perhaps you should go back where you belong.

That was nice, wasn't it? But now we get this:

I wasn’t sure I wanted that, though. I would always remember the scent of her blood—was there any guarantee that I wouldn’t eventually follow her? Besides, if she left, her mind would forever remain a mystery, a constant, nagging puzzle.

But, remember, he's not going to obsess over her just because he can't read her mind.

What I think Meyer is trying to do is create tension via internal conflict but this... isn't how you do that. Not well anyway. All she's done is have Edward mentally contradict himself over and over again. To do this properly, I feel, he should mentally say he's not going to do thing but actually, physically, catching himself doing it.

He can claim he doesn't want to know about Bella's thoughts then try and sneak a peek at her notebook to see what she's written just in case it's not notes.

That's a little bit better than this flip-flopping we got going on now. Not much, but better.

Back to this slop:

Bella shows Edward how Not Like Other Girls she is because she never answers how Edward expects! Because, as we've seen, Edward is just a master of human behavior.

He 'demands' to know why Bella moved here if she hates Forks so much but realizes he probably sounded very rude and impolite.

Fuck off Meyer. I know what you're trying to do but all the 'Oh, that was so rude!' doesn't make this asshole a gentleman.

Bella gives him the 'It's complicated' not answer and Edward 'implodes out of curiosity'. Surely it'd be implodes with curiosity? Or was Meyer trying to be clever and switch around implode/explode without thinking about the meaning?

WORDS MEAN THINGS

But Edward's 'curiosity' overpowers his thirst for a moment and all I can think of is:

Edward assures her he can keep up, mentally rejoicing that she's answering his questions and that, despite it being 'rude', if he keeps asking she just may keep answering!

Edward has just figured out how conversation works. It only took him a century to do it.

She doesn't answer him immediately, instead staring down at her hands. He wants to see into her void-eyes, longing to be reduced to nothingness, to feel freedom from this existence and the prison that is sanity, but he can't risk reaching out to touch her.

She suddenly looks up to meet his eyes. Why suddenly? I think she just remembered she existed and someone asked her a question.

She tells him, sorrowfully, that her mother got remarried.

“That doesn’t sound so complex,” I said, my voice gentle without my working to make it that way. Her dejection left me oddly helpless, wishing there was something I could do to make her feel better. A strange impulse.

Does anyone even use dejected anymore? Or at least not at the intensity that it used to be? Because when I hear dejected, I just think of the 'aw man, I didn't get the lead role in the school play!' kind of sad.

Also, kinda pointless because we know the reason for Bella's 'dejection', is because she just really hates the rain and mocking her father's lack of a love life or relationship with his only child gets old quick.

He asks if Bella doesn't like her new stepdad but Bella corrects him because she actually does like him. Which completely ruins whatever fantasy Edward was concocting in his head that we don't get to read in this first person narrative, it probably was going along the lines of this little tidbit of information:

Originally, Phil the Stepdad was the principal of her high school and there may or may not have been sexual abuse between him and Bella... thankfully, Meyer's editor told her to cut that shit out. I get the feeling Meyer read/heard of Lolita and thought it was a romance.

They talk about Phil some more, Bella smiling every time he's mentioned which is really making me uncomfortable considering the aforementioned information.

Edward is desperately trying to figure out who Phil is by mentally going over not only the professional ballplayer's rosters but the minor leagues as well. Because, as we know, Edward is a huge baseball fan. I mean, all the times he went on and on about his love of baseball in Twilight. That little story about he's the one who was enough of a nerd to get the family baseball jerseys? So endearing.

Too bad it never happened.

Characterization? In Twilight?

He makes the assumption, which he admits is an assumption, that Bella was sent off so her mother could go travel. Bella objects, saying she sent herself. Edward, master human impersonator, doesn't understand why she's upset by his assumption that she's treated as a piece of property to be sent off at the first sign of inconvenience. That's how women are still treated, right?

“No, she did not send me here,” she said, and her voice had a new, hard edge to it. My assumption had upset her, though I couldn’t quite see how. “I sent myself.” I could not guess at her meaning, or the source behind her pique. I was entirely lost.

Oh, fuck no...

There was just no making sense of the girl. She wasn’t like other humans. Maybe the silence of her thoughts and the perfume of her scent were not the only unusual things about her.

It's going to get worse from here. I've been dreading this part.

There's still so many pages in this chapter i'm gonna die

Edward admits he doesn't get it because he's a dumbass so Bella stares deep into his eyes and decides his consciousness isn't worth the dignity of being torn asunder and tells it to him like he's a damn child.

“She stayed with me at first, but she missed him,” Bella explained slowly, her tone growing more forlorn with each word. “It made her unhappy… so I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie.”

“And he has like, pictures of me as a child on the fireplace mantel. Like, how fucking sad is that?”

Edward tells us he keeps saying his theories out loud... like we haven't noticed. Because Meyer has to pad this bitch out somehow and we already know this scene because she's written the same book three times.

Okay, everybody! Who's ready to get pissed off?!

“But now you’re unhappy,” I murmured. I kept speaking my hypotheses aloud, hoping to learn from her refutations. This one, however, did not seem as far off the mark. “And?” she said, as if this was not even an aspect to be considered. I continued to stare into her eyes, feeling that I’d finally gotten my first real glimpse into her soul. I saw in that one word where she ranked herself among her own priorities. Unlike most humans, her own needs were far down the list. She was selfless.

Bella is to selfless as wet is to fire.

I could go on and on with examples but I'm assuming you guys have read Twilight or at least snarks of it. You know everything I could say and more.

Let's just... let's just move on...

Edward says that doesn't sound fair and Bella informs him life isn't fair... Though we know Bella just doesn't like Forks and would throw tantrum after tantrum, ruining the few visits she had with her father growing up until he had to take time off work and spend money he probably didn't have to rent them a place in California for their visits. But sure, she's selfless.

To be honest, I'm not even sure why she said she'd come to Forks. She doesn't like her father so it definitely wasn't to spend time with him. Her mother's a teacher so maybe she didn't want Bella missing school by coming with them even though home school is a thing.

Let's face it, Meyer just needed an excuse to get Bella to Forks.

I was not ready to let this conversation end. The little v between her eyes, a remnant of her sorrow, bothered me. “You put on a good show.” I spoke slowly, still considering this next hypothesis. “But I’d be willing to bet that you’re suffering more than you let anyone see.” She made a face, her eyes narrowing and her mouth twisting into a lopsided frown, and she looked back toward the front of the class. She didn’t like it when I guessed right. She wasn’t the average martyr—she didn’t want an audience for her pain.

What fucking pain? Being slightly damp? Did Charlie forget to get her a pony to go along with the free truck?

Also: what the fuck is a lopsided frown?

Also Also: Fuck off

Edward gloats that he's right and Bella asks why he cares. He completely loses the ability of internal monologue and whispers dramatically: “That's a very good question...”

He wonders, once again, why Bella's thoughts matter so much to him when every other human's thoughts are so completely and utterly insignificant because Humans suck the biggest balls ever.

Also:

I was not used to being the less intuitive of any pairing. I relied on my extra hearing too much—I clearly was not as perceptive as I gave myself credit for.

He thinks he's intuitive... because he can hear thoughts. That's the equivalent of someone just outright telling him what they're thinking. That's not what intuitive means, Meyer!

WORDS FUCKING MEAN THINGS

Is it wrong of me to hope she has Spooky Mormon Hell Dreams?

One musical break later:

Edward is inexplicably amused by the whole situation because Bella's frustrated that he didn't answer her one question that... people usually don't answer... at least not with a real answer. He's finds it funny that she's annoyed when he could easily kill her if he loses focus for even a second and she doesn't even realize it.

He's probably thinking of that Whoopi Goldberg gif and cackling to himself.

Hilarious.

To be even more of a dick, Edward asks if he's annoying her. She confesses that she's annoyed at herself for being so easy to read which amazes him. You get it? Because he can't literally read her thoughts! Because that is literally the only way someone can understand another person. Body language, inflection, and a general understanding of actual human behavior is all fake news.

Edward takes a breather to remind us he isn't alive so using the word 'life' is misleading only he does it in a way that sounds like a whiny emo teen who thinks dressing all in black makes them deep.

Also, this conversation makes no sense.

“Not exactly,” she told me. “I’m more annoyed at myself. My face is so easy to read—my mother always calls me her open book.”

“On the contrary,” I disagreed, feeling strangely… wary, as if there were some hidden danger here that I was failing to see. Beyond the very obvious danger, something more… I was suddenly on edge, the premonition making me anxious. “I find you very difficult to read.”

“You must be a good reader, then,” she guessed, making her own assumption, which was, again, right on target. “Usually,” I agreed.

I'm sorry, what?

“I'm so easy to read!” “I can't read you.” “You must be a good reader then!”

“I'm an okay painter.” “I can't paint at all.” “Your paints must be amazing then!”

“I can sing the alphabet!” “I'm illiterate.” “You must be an amazing writer then!”

“I'm American.” “I'm from London.” “You must be the Queen of England then!”

Okay, I'm going to stop because that is a rabbit hole if I ever saw one.

But don't worry! The stupid isn't over yet!

Her body was closer to me than before, having shifted unconsciously in the course of our conversation. All the little markers and signs that were sufficient to scare off the rest of humanity did not seem to be working on her. Why did she not cringe away from me in terror? Surely she had seen enough of my darker side to realize the danger.

Also, since I had to use a HP gif: Fuck JK Rowling and the transphobic wagon she rode in on.

Edward goes on for almost an entire page about how he shouldn't get obsessed with Bella while obsessing over Bella. He knows he should stay away from her but he wants to know everything about her but also he wants to eat her but no, he can't! But he finds her so fascinating but he can't allow himself to find her fascinating because then he'll surely kill her!

We get it, Edward, you find her fascinating (because of the void) but being close is dangerous for her. You don't have to use a whole page to repeat yourself over and over again.

Much like the first meeting between them, he runs from the room first chance he gets.

I'm hoping that these last few pages will be easier now that Meyer doesn't have to force the narrative to fit with the dumpster fire that was Twilight. I don't think I can take much more of the 'Bella is amazing!' forced-feeding that was going on.

He takes a deep breath and:

Again, I gasped at the clean, wet air outside as though it was a healing attar.

Someone bitchslap the thesaurus out of her hands.

Emmett is waiting for Edward outside their next class. He tells him that Alice ditched the last half of her class, heading toward the science department. Edward hadn't realized how close he was to killing Bella... evidently.

Emmett reassures him that it turned out fine and he succeeded in not killing anyone...

Or maybe you kill her. He shrugged. You wouldn’t be the first one to mess up. No one would judge you too harshly. Sometimes a person just smells too good. I’m impressed you’ve lasted this long.

Enjoy this helping of victim blaming. It's not Emmett's fault he murdered that grandmother! She shouldn't have smelled so good!

Edward claims he's disgusted by Emmett's acceptance of Bella's 'inevitable' death and, because Emmett is also an asshole, vividly starts remembering the time he killed that one lady.

Also:

Emmett remembered the smell of apples hanging heavy in the air—the harvest was over and the rejected fruits were scattered on the ground, the bruises in their skin leaking their fragrance out in thick clouds.

In Emmett's defense:

I know. I didn’t last half a second. I didn’t even think about resisting.

Oh, wait, that's not a defense.

But remember guys! The Cullens are just so good and love humans and don't want to participate in that life of violence and blah blah blah...

The memory causes Edward to run out of Spanish... where the teacher seems to only speak Spanish which... I don't see how that helps someone else to learn Spanish but then again, Forks High School seems to have a 'throw them in the lake and let them figure out how to swim' approach to learning.

Emmett follows after and apologizes for bringing up the memory but also starts to say Edward should just get his murder on because Bella should know better than to smell so good. She's totally asking for it, amirite?

He sends Emmett away and goes to mope in his car. Again. At least he's more productive this time! He gets a head start on stalking Bella, reading the thoughts of everyone in the school to keep tabs on her.

He listens into Mike's thoughts but since Mike is reassuring himself that Bella doesn't seem to like Edward, Edward pouts and turns on some My Chemical Romance or something until school lets out.

Apparently some outside force compels him to get out of his car and lean against it in that particularly douchey way while waiting for Bella to come out of the school. She randomly appears with no lead up, walking to her truck with a frown on her face.

He watches her get in the truck and hold her hands out toward the heating vents and concludes she must not like the cold. You see, the only reason someone who just told you they don't like the cold would use the heater to warm up after being in the cold is because they don't like being cold!

Bella throws the truck in reverse, almost killing a girl by almost ramming into her car. Bella, fully aware of what she almost did, carefully checks her blind spots twice before cautiously leaving.

Edward laughs because Bella thinks she's dangerous after most causing a serious traffic accident. Oh, how adorable.

In case you forgot: Edward is an asshole.

And that's the end of the chapter!

And I was right, the last few pages was much easier to get through. I think, going forward, I'm going to have to cut some of these chapters into sections, especially the Twilight Recap heavy ones. It's just too hard for me to get through those quickly.

Anyway, I'm going to take a much needed break and continue my Friday the 13th marathon.

Save me, Tommy Jarvis, you're my only ho.

((EDIT: All future book reviews/snarks will be posted to my tumblr.))

#Book Snark #Midnight Sun #Twilight

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fanfic-scribbles · 5 years

Text

Dragon Princess

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: You don’t let anybody in easily. Steve doesn’t mind a challenge. Hopefully he also doesn’t mind getting his armor singed in the process.

Quick facts: Romance – Steve Rogers/Reader – female!disabled!Reader]

Warnings: Female pronouns for reader, reader uses a wheelchair, reader is a Grumpy Gus (with a heart of gold), some ableism

Special Disclaimer: Reader is in a (manual) wheelchair for an undisclosed disability. I don’t use a wheelchair myself, I just go behind one, so if anything I said is offensive then message me and I’ll try to edit it. I did my best but unconscious bias is a bitch and trips up even the best of us.

Words: 2903

A/N: I love. Writing grumpy characters. Who are secretly soft. Can’t stop won’t stop. Anywho; this didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted but I quite like certain parts of it, and I’ll never not love writing troll-Steve, especially with cranky reader-characters. It’s just fun.

It has been a long day and you just want to go home. So it’s with no small amount of delight that you tear down the open space between bookshelves and tables and make a spectacular turn down the aisle you need– only to come to a complete and sudden stop.

That guy.

It’s a little harsh, but he’s standing right in front of the shelf you need. Captain America is a regular around here; so much a fixture that you can pinpoint the newbies and the visitors by how long they stare at him. Right now you stare a little too because, hey, you actually haven’t really interacted with him– it’s not like you have the time normally, but your co-workers won't shut up about how wonderful and nice the guy is. Nice, maybe. Easy on the eyes, certainly.

But not nicer than your bed and definitely not easier to look at than the inside of your eyelids.

You roll up next to him and find the spot where the book goes. Blocked by his thigh, of course. Grayson owes you big time for this ‘real quick favor.’

You clear your throat and steel yourself. “Excuse me.”

Captain Rogers blinks and looks down at you. Like he can’t fathom what you're doing here. You realize he’s zoned out just as a spark of life returns to his eyes. “Oh, um, can I help you with something?” he says. He then scans the upper shelves and looks down at you, meaningfully.

You sigh but temper yourself. “No, I know exactly where this goes.” You give him your brightest smile and hit the epic tome against your other hand. “On the shelf right above your kneecaps. Both of which happen to be at the perfect level.”

He jumps back and you’re able to slip the book right into its spot. He actually looks pretty amused. Since he’s a good sport about being threatened with a hardcover edition of “The Tale of Genji” (which might have to be registered with the state of New York as a deadly weapon, you’re not sure,) and since you’re only a week away from beating your record for number of days gone without a complaint, you sit back and say, “Since I’m here, is there anything I can help you with?”

“No ma’am, I’m just browsing. Thank you,” he says and goes back to staring at lettered spines, leaving you free to escape work for the day.

That went pretty well, all things considered.

It’s another long day when you come across Captain Rogers again. (Mr. Rogers? Captain America? Whatever.) You’re cleaning up the tables and he’s sitting at one, quietly reading. He’s got a small stack of nonfiction, the titles of which are all so boring that your eyes glaze right over them. As you get closer he raises his head and smiles at you. You’re not sure what your face does, but his lips twitch up against his best efforts and he looks caught between laughing and being concerned. “Sorry, did I do something…?”

“Other than be a nice guy to exactly the wrong person? No, you’re…fine. I guess,” you say. “If you want a smile you’ll have to go to the front desk; I’m the only one in this area.”

He laughs, which isn’t a half-bad sound. You roll your eyes and gesture at his stockpile of Boring Nonsense. “You done with any of those?”

“Yes,” he says and immediately puts two of them next to you. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” you say, grab them, and leave him be.

For a while. He’s still working on something that makes him scowl like he’s going to start fighting it when you come back over and drop a book right next to him hard enough to make him jolt. You smile. It’s the little things, sometimes. You pat the cover. “This is my favorite piece of trash. It has dragons and swords and is basically the book version of the most terrible-wonderful fantasy movie you can imagine. Give your brain a break before it goes on strike.”

His smile broadens, and he pushes the other, actual trash away so he can put your beloved trash in its place. “Enjoy, Captain,” you say and start to turn.

“Steve,” he says as if instinctive. But then he looks at you. “If you don’t mind.”

You shrug, but since you’re trying to be polite you tell him your name before leaving him to read in peace.

“Can I ask you a question?”

That’s as good as a loaded gun, as far as you're concerned, but you’re in a marginally good mood today so you face Steve with as much patience as you can hold at any one time. “Yes?”

He frowns. “Do you…” He sighs. “This is so random, but do you have any recommendations for books on food?”

That’s…not what you expected. “Huh,” you say as you actually have to think through the card catalogue of your mind. “I guess, but I think I should ask Grayson about–” Steve’s face does something terrible that is also delightful. “You already asked him.”

“He has to be joking,” Steve says desperately.

You crack a smile, already aware of the sorts of things your more exuberant and…adventurous coworker likely said. “Some, yeah, but probably not all.” You think you know what Steve’s aiming for. “Hold that thought.”

“If it’s too much trouble you don’t have to–”

You shush him– this is a library after all– and continue on your mission. You have to wave off one of the volunteers at one point but you manage to retrieve the book you’re looking for. When you return, Steve is focused on his book again– the poor, trusting fool. Nobody else is around, so you take great pleasure in making it slam right next to him. This book being bigger makes a louder sound than the last– he jumps, you laugh, and the day has gone from good to great.

“You like making me jump,” he accuses, poorly hiding a smile.

“My coworkers say I’m a sadist. Too bad for them I’m good at my job.” You flip open the book you brought him. “Ta da. The modern American cooking bible. Enjoy.”

Steve is immediately fascinated, leaning over and flipping through. “Betty Crocker is still a thing?”

“Oh yeah,” you say. “Still in grocery stores and the books get revised all the time.”

“Wow.” He smiles at you. “Thanks.”

You wave him off. Just as you’re about to go, though, you think of another possible concern. “By the way, Grayson talks a big game but he’s not serious. I mean, if he were single, yeah, but he’s got a wife and kids he loves more than anything. His flirting is all in good fun.”

Steve nods like it doesn’t bother him, but stops mid-motion. “What about Alex and Martha?”

You snort. “Good luck.”

He rolls his eyes. “Wow, thanks.”

You smile sweetly at him. “Always here to help.”

“Ooo,” Alex says under their breath and straightens their shirt.

You’re too annoyed to ask what they see. You find out anyways when Steve strolls up to the counter and says hello to Alex and then pointedly does the same to you, smiling like he’s gotten the best news of his life.

It’s fucking irritating and you wave him off like the obnoxious fly he is. Like the obnoxious fly he is, he remains. You give him a dirty look. “Away with you and your happiness.”

Steve laughs, showing his true colors for all to see. He leans on the counter closest to you. “That kind of day already, huh?”

You turn in the stool to properly glare at him. “I have great arm strength and three complete editions of “The Lord of the Rings” as well as the rest of our Tolkien collection. Do you want to find out how many copies of “The Silmarillion” are needed to take you out?”

Steve is unaffected. This is what you get for being nice– burning irritation and the blood of Captain America soon to be on your hands. Not to mention how all of your coworkers are probably going to give you the cold shoulder. Or worse– make you man the information desk.

You shudder. No, even Steve’s stupid fat head getting clocked by elven moping isn’t worth that.

“No,” he decides, smiling bigger as he watches you. “But I’ve been meaning to read “The Children of Húrin” if you happen to have it.”

You grab the book and…hand it to him, because you aren’t really a monster who would harm an innocent book just because someone else was irritating you.

Steve beams, the bastard. “Thanks!”

“Ugh, your sunshine hurts. Go away you fucking sadist.”

“We have that in common then,” Steve says and honest-to-god winks before strolling away to his area in the back. He’s so fucking jaunty that if he wasn’t in a library you’re pretty sure he’d be whistling.

“Nerd!” is your parting shot before you turn back to the task at hand. Alex, however, is gawking. Fucking great. “What?”

“‘Your sunshine?’” Alex points at you. “You were flirting!”

This might be the day you murder someone. And not a patron– that’s unexpected. “I was not!”

“And he was too oh my god.”

Blood rushes to your head. “Is this really how you want to go out? I made three 16 year old boys cry because they drew dicks in our books, my blood is pumping, I could fight a bear, don’t test me.”

Alex runs. To gossip; you’re not fooled. You shake your head. The problem with threatening people all the time is that eventually they find out you’re not actually violent. Not that those teenage brats know better, thankfully.

On that note, you do hope Steve enjoys their artistic interpretations of his text.

It’s too late to be irritated by the morning and too early to be irritated by the rest of the day, so you’re at the front desk, doing busywork to while away the slow mid-morning.

“Hi.”

You lift your head. “Do you live here now?”

“I wish,” Steve says. Your boss, William, is off to the side with Martha, and Steve politely greets them before focusing on you. He puts two books on the counter. “I wanted to return these.”

“Book drop is right over there,” you say.

“And deprive you of something to complain about? I would never,” he says.

Martha snorts. You magnanimously ignore her. It was pretty good, and you notice the first book you gave him sits on top. “How’d you like it?”

“It was fun.” Steve brings out a piece of paper. “I wrote down the author’s other work if you want to take a look?”

You take the list and give it a look-see before going at it with a pen. Some of the titles get stars, some get a ‘meh’, some get crossed out, and some of them get Sharpied out of existence.

“Do you need help?” you ask as you hand it back.

“No; I’ll just browse,” he says and holds it up. “Thanks,” he says, nods at the two useless observers, and goes on his way.

You open the first book to check it in and see a piece of paper folded in half. “Hey, you–” But Steve is gone. “Jeeze; even his bookmarks are dumb and big.”

You unfold it though and it’s– it’s a drawing. A really nice ink drawing of a snake-bodied dragon, fierce and blowing fire but…coiled at the bottom to sit on a throne of books that floats above the ground. Next to the picture is calligraphy that reads, ‘Thank you for always helping me.’

William and Martha crowd in, so you put the picture on the counter to let them see. You don’t look away from it but you can hear them admire it (as they should).

“Is…is he calling you a dragon?” William asks warily.

“This…” You breathe. “…Is the nicest thing ever.”

Martha and William scuttle off to gossip like the tweens they secretly are. You appreciate the drawing for a little while longer before you carefully fold it back up and slip it in your notebook under the counter.

God damn. He is flirting.

And god damn, you’re into it.

If you’re being honest, you’re not really that rude to strangers. Not most of the time, anyway. You know some who might argue that, but you love reading and books and stories and libraries and you want other people to love them too.

Some people, though, are hopeless.

“Here?”

“Next shelf over,” you say. “Left–” The guy moves his hand down and you sigh. “To the left, sir.”

He moves his hand, somehow, just over the book. “Yes! Th–” aaaaand he passes right by it.

Short of magically teleporting the book out of its spot and into his face, you're not sure what else you can do.

“Why can’t you just get it for me?” he whines.

You’ve had people practically strain their necks in effort not to look at the chair, but this is ridiculous. You rub your temples to ease the stupid. Someone is hovering in the aisle on the opposite side of where you’re trying to direct this disaster of a puppet show. Hopefully whoever is waiting has more patience than you. “I’m sorry sir but I don’t know how to be any clearer about it; you’ve literally passed over it–” Wait a minute. “Twice…” Wait a minute.

His mouth hints at a smirk even as he tries to look annoyed. Really? This is how he wants to harass you? This is weaksauce. He could have gone to Martha and done the same thing, she’s so short.

You smile politely. With fangs. “Sir, given our interaction here, I have to say I don’t think that book is right for you. The library has a great children’s section; I could show you the books for new readers. They’re well suited to your reading comprehension and your maturity level.”

It takes him a second. Unsurprisingly, he has the gall to get offended. “What did you say to me?!”

“We both know what you’re doing,” you say flatly, losing the gracious veneer. “Are you going to waste more of my time or can we stop pretending?”

He flounders for a moment, obviously too shocked by the turn to process. “I– I want to speak to–”

“His name is William and he’s at the front desk. Knock yourself out.” Please.

Asshole storms off and you sigh. It doesn’t seem fair that your ‘days without a complaint’ is about to get reset because of that, but maybe you can argue it. William is a reasonable guy. If he wasn’t you’d have been fired your first week when you heard someone making fun of their friend for reading Laura Kinsale and you signed the jerk up for every romance newsletter you knew of.

Steve steps out from the next aisle over and walks down to you. “Ah,” you say. “I should have known that particular looming.”

He blushes. That shouldn’t be legal. “Sorry; I wanted to talk to you so I decided to wait.”

Oh. “Then…thanks for not stepping in.”

“You had it handled. In fact…” He cracks a smile. “You were surprisingly patient.”

“I have to be.” You shrug. “My job involves dealing with the public. You know how it goes.”

“I do,” he says, smile growing. “Would you like to commiserate? Maybe over dinner?”

You try very hard to clamp down on your own smile. It peeks through anyway. Traitor. “Misery does love company.”

“Is it okay if I don’t think I’ll be miserable?” he asks.

“That’s fine, I can be miserable enough for the both of us,” you say. “You sure you want to go on a date with a dragon? You seem more like a princess kind of guy. White horse and all.”

He laughs and puts his hand to his chest. “Don’t let the suit of armor fool you. Besides, there’s more than one kind of princess.”

You shake your head. “I guess we’ll talk about it,” you say. “Over dinner.”

“Thursday?” he suggests.

“I get off work at six.”

“I’ll pick you up here then.”

“Cool.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

There’s an awkward moment where it feels like there’s something else– or should be something else. You know what you want, but…

Fuck it. You crook your finger to bring him in and Steve obeys, until he’s close and bracing his hands on the arms of your chair. You move to the side of his face and place a very light kiss on his cheek. He lingers for a moment and then stands, radiating carefully muted joy with a small smile that looks ready to erupt.

He’s going to ruin your reputation as a hardass. That doesn’t bother you near as much as you think it should. “Thursday,” you say and swallow. “It’s a date.”

He grins, like a sunbeam through the cloud. Yep. Ruined. “I’ll let you get back to work then,” he says and steps back. “Try not to set anyone on fire?”

Your smile shows teeth. “No promises,” you say and turn your throne around. This hoard isn’t going to manage itself, and you can’t just wait around for your knight– you’re not that kind of princess.

#steve rogers x reader #captain america fanfic #captain america reader insert #avengers fanfic #avengers reader insert #troll steve rogers #grumpy reader #tw ableism

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blah-blah-stranger-things · 6 years

Text

The Monk (Chapter 1/2)

The Party plays D&D at the cabin, and the damn place is too small for Hopper not to overhear.

My first Stranger Things fic. Hope you enjoy! ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14260926/chapters/32891049

Chapter 2

"Ok, nerds, prepare to be awestruck. This is what, 7d6 fire damage, one per level, plus - "

"First of all it's per caster level, you're multiclass. Second of all the spell is capped at 5d6, so even if - "

"That's such bullshit! So your girlfriend gets to incinerate everything in the room and I'm stuck taking potshots?"

"It's not bullshit, Mayfield, it's the rules. You're the one who insisted I help you pick out an ability set for a Zoomer, and that meant multiclassing. Lucas, a little help here?"

"Hell no. I'm recusing myself."

"Smart move, Stalker."

"Pah. Your glorious red mane is clouding his judgment. It's always better to min-max."

"...what the hell does it mean to min?"

"No - min-max. Not you, the word max. As in 'maximum.'"

"A min-max lecture coming from the bard..."

"Oooh, burn from Will the Wise!"

"7d6 fire damage?"

Hopper rubs his temples. The boys all laugh in response to El's quip, a helpful reminder as to why he's allowing all this in the first place. Socialization. It's good for her. If it's not safe for her to wander around town yet, at least she can enjoy herself with friends now and then. It's nice, he reminds himself. Worth a few hours of wanting to stab his eardrums through with a pen.

With anything, really, but the pen's handiest, and likely more effective than rolling up one of the case files in front of him and making a play for deafness-by-papercut. Callahan's handwriting is hard enough to parse without a litany of nerdspeak assaulting him from behind. Somehow this Dungeons & Dragons shit is even worse than the stereotypes had led him to believe. Jesus - when he was Wheeler's age he was fixated on a very different pair of Ds, that's for sure. Granted the thought of him thinking of El that way...

Hopper rubs his temples again.

Ok - the file. Thief only took items from the Valentine's display, so definitely a crime of opportunity. But in Callahan's interview notes from the -

"Woo, sneak attack! Multiclass that, asshole!"

"The guard goes down with a sickening groan. But when you move away you open yourself to an attack of opportunity from - "

Focus, Jim.

...right. Shopkeep said it happened after the doors were locked, and there was no sign that any of the locks had been tampered with, which suggests an inside -

"INSOLENT FOOLS! FACE THE WRATH OF ARIYBAR THE PROFANE! SOON, YOUR FLESH WILL ADORN MY HALLS AND YOUR ENTRAILS El stop looking at me like that, this is supposed to be, like, intimidating."

"Sorry. You're adorable."

Four dramatic groans.

- an inside job. Or else, uhh... what was he thinking about again? Right - or else the shopkeep is a dope or a liar. He skims the list of employees. Let's see - Carmichael, Hayes, Daniels... wasn't it somebody by the name of Daniels he locked up overnight just last week for -

"Pew pew! Pew pew!"

"Dustin that's not what Magic Missile sounds like."

"It could be."

"That's lasers. It's anachronistic."

"Oh so you're saying they didn't have sound effects in medieval times?"

"Anyway, while the bard and ranger are distracted by this fascinating conversation, Will you manage to get past the gnome to the door. Inside is a short hallway with a door at the end and a passageway off to - "

Hopper grinds his teeth. Ok. Maybe better to save the critical thinking for later. There's got to be some good old-fashioned paperwork around here somewhere. God knows Flo spends enough of her time berating him about it. He lights a cigarette, shuffles papers until lines requiring his signature manifest. Time off request for Powell - fine. Signed. Office supplies requests... let's see. Coffee's an office supply, right? Eh better safe than sorry. Oh, and he brought home all that extra tape for El around Christmas, after the, uh, mishap with the first round of present-wrapping. Is he out of staples? Not that he ever staples things, but they're fun to flick into the garbage can on slow days. Could probably use -

"Oh shit guys that's gotta be where the princess is. I have dibs when she decides to throw herself into the comforting arms of her rescuer."

"Dustin you're a halfling. If she throws herself into your arms you'll both fall over.

"Screw you."

"You open the door and there she is, golden hair shimmering in the sunlight pouring through the fortress window. Her room is tiny, with only a bed and a small wash basin, but even if it were enormous your eyes would be drawn straight to her. She's as beautiful as the rumors said, and though she looks nervous at first she soon greets you with a grateful smile."

Hopper closes his eyes and his forehead twitches. Office supplies. Think about office supplies.

"Fear not, m'lady! Your heroes have arrived to see you safely back to - "

"So, like, is this it? Campaign done? I know we get a reward back in town, but I kind of figured this Profane guy would have a treasure trove or something. He had that whole side business with the cursed amulets, he must have earned - "

"Hey, Zoomer, shut it. You're killing the mood."

"'Actually,' the princess interrupts, 'he did mention something to one of his lieutenants about a store room behind the bookcase in his study...'"

"Now we're talking. Lead the way, blondie."

Envelopes. Probably need some of those. Hopper snuffs out his cigarette in an ashtray.

"Cure light wounds, anybody?"

"Me please."

"Coming right up... 13 HP for the mage."

"Thanks Will."

"And I'll dispel the bookcase too, in case it's booby-trapped. Lucas, can you check for - "

"Already on it. Ohhhh, natural 20 ladies and gentlemen. Hold your applause, please."

"You make a mockery of the variety of traps both magical and mundane that guard what you soon confirm is a chamber filled with gold coins - more than you can possibly carry. They sparkle in the light from Dustin's glowing lute."

"I wink at the princess."

"Jeez Dustin."

"What? I didn't do the growl, that's called character development."

"Fine. She smiles shyly back at you, smoothing the folds of her elegant silver-patterned dress. Meanwhile - "

Hopper's hands slam down on the tabletop before he can stop them. "Ok," he says, with a tone so measured he considers it downright admirable, "that's it." He pushes himself up out of his chair and turns to see six startled faces looking up at him from the living room floor.

"...uh... what's it, exactly? Sir?" Dustin asks after a moment. "I wasn't going to... I mean - uh - I know there was some real sexual chemistry building there between me and the princess but we don't typically roleplay the... I'm going to maybe stop talking now anyway how's the paperwork going? Going good I bet, I bet you aced every page, sir, bet you really showed it who runs that office oh god I didn't stop did I."

Hopper blinks. "What - no. No, that's not what I - Jesus." He rubs his forehead. "I just have to say - this story makes no sense."

Four pairs of eyes glance nervously at Mike. El looks at Hopper, taken aback. "Dad!"

Wheeler himself narrows his eyes, and Hopper sees hints of the anger that exploded that night last October. "Excuse me?"

Hopper raises his hands defensively and addresses his daughter. "I'm just being honest. Friends don't lie, right? Look think of this as a learning opportunity," he says, turning his head back to Wheeler, "a chance to get better, right?"

Mike crosses his arms. "What, exactly, doesn't make sense about it?" he challenges in the way only angsty teenage boys can.

Hopper sighs. He really should just leave it.

He doesn't. "First of all, this whole fortress arrangement. The brilliant villain puts a half-dozen guards in his great hall but has nobody actually watching the princess's room? Not to mention his piles of gold? I mean speaking of gold - what is this guy's motive, anyway? Clearly he's a hoarder or something since this room is filled with cash but Jesus, if he's interested in padding his retirement fund why the hell didn't he try to ransom the girl back to her rich prick of a father? And the amulet side gig, for god's sake, if you're trying to make a mint selling trinkets why make them suck people's life force? That's not exactly a great long-term business strategy, when every product you sell screams 'I'm an evil asshole.'"

Lucas and Dustin share a mildly disturbed look. "...how much attention has he paying this whole time?" Lucas mutters.

Hopper ignores them. "And the princess - you said at the start the only reason she was out in the field instead of in her guarded ivory tower or whatever was because she was badly claustrophobic. You expect me to believe she's been kept in that, quote, 'tiny' room for a week and yet a few seconds after you open the door she's smiling and offering to show you around and playing footsie with the hobbit over there?"

"Actually, sir, technically I'm a halfling; Hobbits are specific to Tolkien's universe whereas halfling is a more generic - "

"I don't care," Hopper replies emphatically. "And I was going to just let it go, whatever, it's just a game and you're just a kid and bound to make a few mistakes now and then, except then you talked about her dress, and that was a step too far. The elegant silver embroidery shining in the light from mini-Dylan's glow-in-the-dark axe."

"Yeah, it's not technically glow-in-the-dark, it's imbued with a Light spell, which takes is luminescence from - " Will elbows Dustin and the boy stops talking.

Will's a good kid.

"One of the key pieces of evidence," Hopper resumes, circling around the back of Wheeler's little board set-up like he does with perps in the interrogation room, "that pointed your little band of misfits to Eeriebear's fortress - "

"Ariybar," Dustin mumbles.

" - to the ogre's fortress, was - "

"Actually he's a gnome."

Hopper's hand slowly fists and he offers a smile as he feels a vein throb in his neck. "Thank you, Dustin." He returns his gaze to the back of Wheeler's head, who's still sitting with crossed arms and hunched shoulders. "Now if I recall, that bit of evidence was a sizeable piece of torn cloth, covered in mud, found caught on a broken fence post in back of one of these amulet shops. Isn't that right," he asks the witnesses. Uh - other players.

El is glaring daggers at him, but Max nods cautiously. "Yeah, that's right."

"And why was that a clue?" he asks, crossing his arms, too. "Anybody?"

"...because it was from the princess's dress," Will answers shyly after a moment.

"It was. Now, it's just barely possible that your Dungeon Leader failed to mention - yes, fine, Dungeon Master, and if you interrupt me one more time Henderson you're never going to find out what it's like to get through puberty - that Wheeler just failed to mention that there was a giant tear in the princess's dress, though you'd think it'd be a detail the halfling horndog here would've been interested in. Or maybe there's just so much material on medieval dresses that nobody'd notice if a little went missing, what do I know. But! What'd you have to do to figure out it was part of her dress?"

"It has a unique pattern," Lucas replies.

"Right. But you couldn't see that, at first."

"No - we... had to wash it."

"And what exactly did the Dungeon Master say when you washed it?"

El's eyes flash for a moment, and she glances guiltily at Mike before answering slowly, "That... the embroidery wouldn't return to its original shiny color no matter how much we scrubbed it."

"No matter," Hopper says, pacing back around to Mike's front, "how much," he punctuates, "you scrubbed it. So what happened? Did the villain go to all the trouble of creating a new dress exactly matching the pattern of the old one? Did the dress somehow only get dirty exactly where it tore? You were only a few hours behind the villain at that point, and it hadn't rained since the day the princess was kidnapped, so there's no way the scrap got muddy after it was torn.

"It makes no sense," he concludes.

He takes a deep breath, smirking triumphantly.

...God, he's an asshole.

The realization comes as soon as he stops talking. Jesus. The kids are just trying to have a fun time, and here he is critiquing Wheeler like he's a suspect. The two are hardly best buds, but they've settled into a comfortable detente after their confrontation the night El closed the gate, and at the end of the day Hopper's fond of him, is consistently impressed by Mike's patience and generosity when it comes to El and her idiosyncrasies. God knows El's crazy about him; Hopper's certainly not winning any points with her, spouting off like this.

He scratches the side of his nose - as close to embarrassed as he ever lets himself look these days - and after a moment works up the willpower to turn to apologize.

But instead of the angry or hurt or humiliated look he expects to see on Mike's face, there's a half-smile there instead. An appraising smile. A devious smile.

"Suddenly, the light reflected from the coins grows more intense, and for a moment you're all blinded, a sound like the chime of a high-pitched bell ringing in your ears. Roll Will saves."

It's a moment before anyone speaks. "...what?" Lucas says, finally.

"Roll Will saves."

Hopper, left hanging, feels a little lost, and looks at Will. But after a moment everyone, not just Will, is rolling one of those damn multi-sided dice, and reporting some numbers that hold no meaning for him.

"When the light fades, you find yourselves frozen in place. The coins have vanished; sinister circular runes line the chamber in their place. And where the princess stood moments before now stands Ariybar, cackling loudly.

"'You fools! You really thought a great Illusionist like myself would choose to confront you in a contest of brute force?'"

"Fuck me," Dustin says, dragging his hands down his cheeks.

"Hey," Hopper warns, glancing at El. He knows it's almost certainly futile to try and safeguard her vocabulary at this point, but he's at least going to pretend to qualify as good adult supervision. Granted, the way El is staring at Mike with a proud smile on her face, Hopper isn't sure she even heard.

"What the hell is going on?" Max demands.

Wheeler shifts his attention to her. "'Ahh, yes. Where are my manners. Welcome to my ritual chamber. I've spent years perfectly attuning it to the outer planes in anticipation of this day.'"

Lucas tightens his hands into fists. "What happens today?"

"'Today, I finally bring my master home from exile. Today, he will take his place as the rightful king of this wayward nation.'"

"You don't mean - " Will begins.

"'Oh, I do. Today, the Tyrant returns.'"

Everybody gasps as though this means something. Hopper just looks bemused.

"'Through the amulets, I've gathered enough vessels to activate the ritual. Once I begin, everyone who has come into direct contact with one of the cursed tokens will become subservient to the Chosen One - the Tyrant's secret offspring. Then it's simply a matter of channeling their life force here in this chamber, and my master will walk the earth once more.'"

"Wait - wait wait. The Tyrant was a human, you're a gnome. You can't be his offspring... right?" Lucas makes a face.

"'Oh, no. Not I. I spent many years trying to discover his offspring's identity. Imagine my surprise when I learned she herself was unaware of her parentage,'" Mike says, turning his attention to Max.

Max looks at him blankly, before her eyes widen. "Wait - me? But I'm... my character's an orphan. My father died in a - "

"'In a fire, yes. Not entirely untrue; when the Tyrant was banished, a great fire swept across the capital.' Max, you feel a strange tingling in your spine, like some kind of dark energy is running up and down your body."

"I draw my bow," Lucas says with a scowl.

"Can't move."

"She won't help you," El says, her voice certain but her eyes shooting Max a questioning glance. "Um, duh," Max confirms. "My dad sounds like a real asshole. I'm not channeling anything."

"'As I expected. Reports of the Zoomer's exploits suggested someone with views that diverged significantly from her father's. No matter. I'll simply Dominate you after the ritual begins.'"

"Excuse me?" Hopper interjects.

"What? - oh, god, no," Mike says, blushing, "it's a - it's a spell."

"Though hypothetically with the control it gives you it'd be possible to use it for stuff like - " Will elbows Dustin again. (Good kid. Jesus.)

"Where is the princess?" Will demands, surprisingly forcefully.

"Uh - right. 'Her? She's insignificant. I needed a way to get the Zoomer here, to the chamber. When I heard she had fallen in with the king's favorite errand boys, it was simply a matter of contriving a circumstance that would cause the king to send them my way. The princess is currently resting comfortably at a farm not far from here. After the Tyrant returns I see no reason not to release her.'"

"We won't let you get away with this," El says, her eyes narrowed. For a moment Hopper's afraid he'll need to make a run for the tissues, but nothing falls over of its own accord or flies across the room.

"Ariybar cackles as the glyphs along the wall turn a sickly green. 'There's nothing you can do to stop me. You're trapped, and I have everything I need to complete the ritual. You should feel privileged, to witness the dawn of a new era!'"

Will grips his knees tightly. "What can we do? Can we move?"

"Nothing but your mouths."

"Does anyone have any spells prepared that don't have somatic components?"

El shakes her head.

"Stupid goddamn multiclassing," Max mutters.

"Uh... Feather Fall?" Dustin offers, presumably unhelpfully given the unenthused responses from the others.

"Well. This is it. We're finally, truly doomed," Lucas says, leaning back with resignation.

Max grunts. "This sucks. It's unfair! It's an impossible situation."

Wheeler gives a half-smirk. "Well... maybe there's one way you might be able to pull through."

Will leans forward. "What is it?"

"Well... there was someone who figured out Ariybar's ploy. So it's probably safe to say he didn't get caught."

Dustin frowns. "Who? We're all..."

Hopper scratches his chin. All the kids are accounted for. Was there some other ally they mentioned he's forgetting about? That weird carriage driver with the beard? No, he was killed by that jello cube thing. (Jesus, this game is weird.) Seems kind of lazy to let one of Wheeler's characters solve the problem at the eleventh hour, anyway. Who could...

It's at this point he realizes they're all staring at him.

"Uh - what's up?" he asks, afraid he already knows the answer.

"He doesn't even have a character sheet," Lucas points out.

"We can use some default stats," Wheeler says, pulling open one of those massive rule books.

"Uh - kids, I have a lot of work to do - uh - for instance there's case files, and... ordering, uh, staples..."

"Please Dad?" El asks, eyes wide. "You're our only hope."

She doesn't always call him Dad - it's something they're both still getting used to - and he's very aware it's no accident she's using it now, which only makes it more irritating that he already knows it's going to work.

"Fuck me," he says under his breath.

"That's the spirit, sir," Dustin says as Hopper drags one of the kitchen chairs out into the living room.

#mike wheeler #eleven #jane hopper #jim hopper #will byers #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #mileven #stranger things #fanfic #fanfiction #lumax

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annebrontesrequiem · 7 years

Note

Hello! I was wondering if you could maybe do the RFA+ Minor trio reacting to MC getting her wisdom teeth removed

OH MY GOD I THOUGHT THIS HAD BEEN DELETED AND I ALMOST CRIED! THANK GOD IT’S RIGHT HERE! Okay, now that my panic is over, it’s time to redo this! It deleted before, this is why I wish Tumblr would let you save answers, but whatever. anyway, let’s begin because I need to post something soon!

Zen

He was super worried, but you weren’t nearly as nervous

You had already had surgery for your knee when it was fractured badly, how bad could this be?

that was the last time you’d ever look kindly on getting wisdom teeth pulled

When he was allowed back to see you, you were off the walls emotional

You cried at every single thing, no matter how small

“It’s so emotional!”

“Hakuna Matata?”

“Yes!”

IfyousaysoMC

It took him about two hours after surgery to get the doctors to release you

Zen wasn’t sure what to do, since you were still super emotional, and it was going to last for at least a few more hours

So he did what anyone would do

Bribe Ask Jumin to let him use Driver Kim and Elly to make you feel better and get home quickly

It was a good thing that no one saw you two because Zen dragging around a crying girl with bloodied swabs in her mouth might be hard to explain to the paparazzi

Thank God he wasn’t that famous yet, it could’ve been a lot worse

He took you to your apartment, and despite your teary insistence that he could leave he was staying

You weren’t allowed to eat for another hour, but he did turn on “Cabaret”

Yeah, he forgot how depressing and creepy the movie was

“Wilkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome!”

I swear MC started bawling within the first five minutes

You two ended up mostly ignoring the movie and cuddling, you still crying a bit, but calming down

For dinner it was just Campbell’s Soup, but you felt so much better

Zen decided to stay over and you thanked him profusely

“MC, it’s nothing, you would do the exact same for me.”

You definitely would

He kept cuddling you, and eventually you fell asleep, not as teary as before, dreaming of money, white powdered faces, and Zen’s beautiful voice

Yoosung

The most innocent bean you’d ever met when it came to this

He didn’t understand that side effects included three possible main effects; loopiness, emotional roller coaster, and sleep

You were definitely sleep

He came into the outpatient room

And you were completely knocked out

“MC! are you okay!”

“Yoosung, I’m so-ahhh-so tired.” You yawned sleepily, ignoring the blood in your mouth and the concerned look of the blonde in front of you

You couldn’t talk very well, but it didn’t matter, it was too much of a hassle, you were too tired

Yoosung was besides himself, asking what was wrong with you to the nurse, and when she said it was just the medicine and the IUD he nearly began crying

The nurse couldn’t be sure who was the one who just had the surgery

LikecomeoneYoosunglol

This is why you didn’t want him to accompany you

He drove you home, asking you the whole way how you were feeling, but you were asleep halfway through

When you two got home he changed your swabs, the ones in your mouth, and looked at what kind of broth you had

“Y-Yoosung, what’s that great smell.” You breathed in the lovely smell of chicken broth and carrots

“Oh, it’s just dinner, what do you want to do now?”

“I want to sleep.”

“Please, wait for dinner!”

You ended up watching Fantasia, something that confused you quite a bit in your sleepy state

After you guys ate dinner Yoosung put you to bed and went to wash the dishes and clean, but you grabbed the back of his shirt

“Hey, Yoosung,”

“Yeah?”

“Can you stay, just a little longer”

“Okay MC”

He ended up falling asleep around the same time you did

It was one of the most peaceful sleeps he’d ever had in his life

Jaehee

Momhee activated like nothing before

Research, research, and more research

“MC, what are you allergic too?”

“It says this hospital has best results”

“You should probably go early around 11, when people are most awake.”

She had everything planned out

Everything, that is, except how you’d be after surgery

Not that she thought you’d be perfectly sound, she expected tiredness or something

But not the crazy emotional state you were in now!

Yeah not equipped for this kind of thing

You were an emotional mess, listening to LOTR on repeat over and over

“IT’s-it’s so sad!”

“Then why don’t you stop listening?”

“NO!”

NevergivingupLOTRyoucan’tmakeme!

It was a nightmare driving you home

You were very distracting, bloodied pieces of swab kept falling out of your mouth, you couldn’t speak very well because of the numbness, and you kept distracting Jaehee, so the ride was slow and painful to say the least

Whne you got home she sat you down with ice for your quickly sore-ing gums, and turned on a Disney movie

It was “Brave”, your absolute favorite

You guys were wrapped up in the movie, snuggling, her checking your bandages and ice every once in a while

Eventually you two nodded off to the song of the highlands, forgetting dinner and your beds

But even though your necks were a little sore the neck day, it was definitely worth it

Jumin

He hired the best possible doctors, and for three days before the operation he was being super over protective of you

“Jumin, it’s fine, it’s just my wisdom teeth!”

“No, MC, we can’t take any chances! It has to be planned out perfectly!”

The one thing he couldn’t plan out would be your reaction when you were done

He also wasn’t quite aware how much blood there would be

He was quite shocked to see the amount of blood in your mouth, and the already bloodied cotton on the steel table next to you

“Oh my God MC! Are you okay!”

He was going insane you would’ve sworn, had you not been snoring away in your chair

The chair was nice, not cheap plastic, or like that of a school desk, so it was quite easy for you to fall asleep

Jumin didn’t want to wake you up, so he scooped you in his arms and carried you to where Driver Kim was waiting

You slept the whole ride, and only woke up once you two were in the apartment and he was shaking you slightly

“Oh, hi Jumin, I’m, I’m pretty sleepy.” You garbled through the cotton

Jumin changed your cotton as he talked to you

“I understand, the whole thing is quite tiring, you did a great job though, yes?”

“Yeah, can I sleep now?” You mubled and he smiled a bit at your childlike behavior

You clambered on him as he rocked you back and forth, stroking your hair softly as you drifted back to sleep

“rest, peacefully MC, you deserve it.”

Saeyoung

You weren’t particularly scared of the pulling teeth out part

What you were scared of however was the Novocain shot

You hated any sort of needle, and Saeyoung definitely knew that

The whole way there he tried the best he could to make you crack up, even though you felt dread pitting in your stomach, as you ddi with every doctor’s appointment

And when the doctor called you in you gripped his shirt and whispered

“I’m sorta scared Saeyoung!”

He looked you in the eyes and smiled

“I understand, but you’ve fared worse, you’re strong, so what If it scares you, so what if they say it’s just a prick and you know they’re wrong? You can be scared, that’s your right, but just remember that there’s a light, and that it will be over sooner rather than later.”

He wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to say, but you just kissed him, gave him another squeeze, and walked towards the room

When he saw you again you were off the walls loopy!

Talking to all the nurses about sort of ridiculous things, like movie productions and random Romanov facts

He hugged you tightly when you started crying over the deaths of thee Romanovs

“How about we talk about something like, Disney! Or books!”

You brightened up at the prospect, and started talking about Tolkien, and Percy Jackson, and all sorts of other book things

He was happy when he asked about the shot you shrugged it off

“It’s sore” Was all you said, and he kept it at that

It was actually pretty late, about five pm, but you were so loopy he couldn’t just put you to sleep

You two ended up marathoning LOTR

It was awesome

Even though you fell asleep halfway through Rreturn of the King”

He just smiled and turned off the screen to carry you to bed

The movie would have to wait

That’s all for now guys, sorry it’s really late and I still am sick. But I‘m happy to have gotten this out, I will finish tomorrow, and I hope you enjoy!

#mysme #mysme headcanon #mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanon #zen headcanon #hyun ryu headcanon #tags lagging #jaehee headcanon #jumin headcanon #saeyoung headcanon #707 headcanon #luciel headcanon #seven headcanon

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awed-frog · 7 years

Note

Why was Dean acting like an ass to Cas in season 6?

Don’t worry about it, though. We’ve all been there, and especially me.

So, I won’t get into this a lot because season 6 has been discussed so much - some meta bloggers, like @elizabethrobertajones, even have weirdly specific tags for it (hers is ‘we don’t talk about season six’, which I always assumed was a veiled threat and, as it turns out, she thinks it was a very romantic season and we don’t discuss it nearly enough).

There are various theories about how this season was built, and one of them is that it was supposed to turn Cas for good - to make him into an enemy and then eliminate him from the show, if I remember correctly, so the general consensus seems to be, Why wasn’t Dean more of an ass to Cas in season 6? This was a narrative centered on misunderstanding and miscommunication, and from Dean’s point of view, Cas was acting like a demented Callahan type for no reason, which, given angels were (they still are, but back then it was particularly noticeable) the most powerful creatures Dean’d ever encountered, was incredibly dangerous, not to mention unpredictable. Dean should have wanted to take Cas out just to be on the safe side, and if it had been anyone else, he would have done it. But, of course, deep bond and stuff. Even after Cas’ done the unforgivable and hurt Sam, possibly for good (protect Sam: remember that’s Dean’s genetic imprinting, and he steamrolls over both friends and enemies to get that done), Dean still has enough empathy and affection for Cas to come clean about his own feelings, and to try and help Cas, or even save him, if he can. That, I think, is unprecedented?

Something that doesn’t come up a lot as a reason why Dean was so awful to Cas during this season (and therefore, what I’ll focus on here) is how Dean constantly refuses to see Cas for what he is - not a human being, but an unknowable, alien, otherwordly creature.

Now, from Dean’s perspective (at the beginning of season 4), angels are not monsters, or things he hunts, or things that exist in the real world; they are, instead much more close and personal than that. They are a cherished memory of his mother, and they are, therefore, an emotional concept which symbolizes peace and being safe and thinking that things could, one day, be alright. This is thrown into particular sharp contrast if we compare Dean’s religious beliefs to Sam’s - we know that Dean doesn’t believe in God, and therefore angels, and that he doesn’t pray. So, for him, angels really are this intimate, childish thing he’s allowed himself to cling to all these years: his mother’s voice, full of love, biding him goodnight. And when Cas shows up, it’s painfully clear that Dean takes his very existence personally, and he’s not at all happy with any part of it. Cas is important in the narrative because he sort of ‘pushes’ Dean out of his comfort zone; he challenges him, and makes him feel out of control in a life where Dean’s fought so hard to be in control at all times (because someone had to be). In a way, I wouldn’t be surprised if Cas’ overt sexual aggressiveness was planned for exactly this reason - because Dean’s been written as bi from the start, and yet this is a part of himself he keep a tight rein over, and Cas’ behaviour very nearly shatters all that. We’ve seen Dean’s uncomfortable with being flirted at, and he’s uncomfortable with anyone being too close to him (in every sense) and Cas, in this sense, is a nuclear reaction. All those secrets Dean’s fought so hard to protect from his brother and Bobby and everyone else - now there’s someone who knows them. All of them, including what he really thinks about himself and the shameful things he did in Hell and how they made him feel. And the fact Cas was always in Dean’s personal space was partly meant, I think, to symbolize this intrusion into Dean’s mind and soul.

(It must have been terrifying, really.)

And the thing is, out of all the possible responses Dean could have to this gobsmacking, life-changing revelation (that God exists and angels exist and one of them saved him from Hell and is now following him around), what Dean chooses to do is extremely revealing: he starts treating Cas like a human.

He finds Cas a nickname, treats Cas in the usual way he reserves for potentially threatening human opponents, like cops (ie, a mixture of flirtiness, short fuse, sarcasm, and being an insufferable little shit), pretends they’re equals (for instance, by forcing Cas to drive around in the Impala instead of allowing Cas to take control and fly him around) and even tries to make Cas fit more snugly into what Dean considers the ABC of humanity (getting Cas laid, teaching him to lie and so on). The thing is, Dean can’t admit to himself Cas is this awe-inspiring pillar of light and whatever, because that would mess too painfully with the way he sees the world, and himself; and so, he generally doesn’t.

(He still doesn’t, by the way, hence that infamous it/him debate with Sam in season 11, but now he’s got very different reasons for thinking of Cas as a dorky human instead of an immortal Lovecraft thing he can’t even see the true face of.)

I think what hurts the most about season 6 is that, on the whole, Dean’s irrational and suicidal and pig-headed unwillingness to see Cas for who (or what) he really is mostly succeeds. Look at the season 5 finale: Cas knew what Dean had in mind would never work, just like Bobby did, and yet he went along with it anyway, and he acted very ‘human’ about it. Instead of being his usual angelic self - commander of a garrison for time untold, unflappable warrior, you name it - Cas is happy to do what Dean asks of him, and he even makes his actions as Dean-like as possible (‘assbutt’ - really?) before being annihilated. But the problems begin when Dean finds out Cas is not, after all, dead - not because he wanted Cas to die, but because his resurrection highlights how rigged the game is. Remember how bitter he was about all of it? With Sam dead, Dean was forced to see that he’s human, and Cas is not. He’s the one who’ll grieve for Sam for the rest of his life, while Cas, who already has a smile on his face, because normal emotions don’t apply to him or whatever, will fuck off and do his thing in Heaven and everything that happened between them - stuff that would have caused an unbreakable bond of friendship between two human beings - are already forgotten.

And then when Cas does come back, things get worse, because, again, Dean is having a lot of trouble pretending Cas is anything other than what he actually is: an alien creature who moves to its own music. First there’s this thing that Cas did bring Sam back but a) he didn’t notice his soul was missing and b) he never bothered telling Dean about it (he let Dean grieve for Sam’s death for months, and who does that?); also he never even checked how Dean was doing after that whole ordeal (that Dean knows of, anyway) and he clearly thinks Dean’s too stupid, or something, and won’t understand Heaven politics, won’t be able to help at all…the list goes on and on. If Cas’ journey in seasons 4 and 5 had brought him closer and closer to humanity (in both senses), season 6 is about Cas swinging in the other direction, and Dean hates it, because Heaven and angels and God - that’s not something he can come to terms with, yet. And I don’t know how much Dean’s aware of the issue, though he must have done some serious thinking about himself and his place in the world while he was at Lisa’s, but the issue does come up - at key moments, and a lot.

(“What happened to you, Cas? You used to be human, or at least like one.” - this, for instance, was a weird thing to say, and definitely not something either Sam or Bobby would ever say about Cas.)

During the ALL THE FEELS season finale, Dean tries to humanize Cas one last time, despite all the shady things’ Cas done all season, and despite the way he hurt Sam: “No, Cas, it’s it - it’s scrambling your brain (again: as if Dean could ever hope to understand how an angel thinks, or how it sees the world). Listen to me. Listen, I know there’s a lot of bad water under the bridge, but we were family once. I’d have died for you. I almost did a few times. So if that means anything to you - please. I’ve lost Lisa, I’ve lost Ben, and now I’ve lost Sam. Don’t make me lose you too.”

Cas’ answer, of course, is the very worst thing he could have said - both a refusal of the highly significant thing Dean is offering (“You’re not my family, Dean.”) and a demand for Dean’s servitude (“So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord. Or I shall destroy you.”) - this after two years spent learning Dean and fighting at Dean’s side and understanding what family means to him and how losing his free will is the very worst thing Dean can imagine.

Ouch.

It’s no surprise, really, that at the beginning of season 7 Dean is sort of ready to accept the truth. While he fixes the Impala (always a sure sign of grief), he curtly tells Sam, “He’s not a guy, he’s God and he’s pissed.”

(Thing is, Cas was not ‘a guy’ before his unfortunate gorging of souls either.)

So, well - sorry for the novel, but this is, to me, a key aspect of their relationship and one of the reasons I find their bond so fascinating - because what normally happens in the ‘lucky girl meets alien prince’ trope is that the fact the prince’s not human is a plus. Literature is full of young women enjoying the riches of King Frog and begging to be turned into vampires so they can be cold and happy with their beloved forever; instead, Dean wants none of it, and Cas sort of agrees, which makes this story very Tolkien and more heartbreaking than it has any right to be. And, full disclosure, I’m generally a Cas!girl, so I’m sometimes not overly enthusiastic with the way the Winchesters treat him, but, to the screenwriters’ credit, there’s usually a reason for things to happen as they do. Dean’s not always at his best, but he’s a very damaged person, and he’s been through a lot. And, well, you need some drama to keep things moving forwards. My hope for the rest of this season, and for the next, is that their relationship keeps evolving on healthier, more open grounds, and the drama focuses on things less frustrating and soap-opery than miscommunication.

#ask #spn meta #destiel #spn season 6 #deancas #those two idiots

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