#anyway this account is now my public diary
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to everyone asking when i’m gonna post art again… hey guys i recently acquired six incredibly large clown paintings so i’m sort of booked at the moment
#no one is asking actually i just want to talk about my recent clown acquisition#6! for $20!!! and they’re really good!#my cat loves them my roommate is bringing in his witch boyfriend to cleanse them#he has told me it’s him or the paintings#and i’m telling him it’s always gonna be the paintings#anyway this account is now my public diary#no art anymore just me posting these things#welcome to my twisted mind#not art#delete later
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Daily Log 2
Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.
Activities: Much less than yesterday, felt sick and sleepy so barely got anything done. It was also warmer inside today.. Very much dreading summer. I still feel like the people who ~~ love warm weather sooo much~~ must also have central heating and air and are able to escape the warmth, or at least have cool airy houses where they can get cross breezes or something.. I just fail to see how ANYONE could enjoy sweating all day because it's like 75F indoors, etc. grrbb,,, the headaches, sleepless sweaty nights, constant physical discomfort, etc. The next few days look cloudy and rainy though so.. yEs.. haha HA
Got a new charger for my old 2004 nokia phone so it actually turns on now, and recorded myself going through the ringtones and games. I might add the footage to a currently not fully edited video of me also looking through other electronics (old phones, turbo twist math, etc.). I love old ringtones actually and if I were rich, I would love to collect old phones specifically just to have a catalogue of what they're like and all of the sounds they contain.
Managed to have a tiny burst of energy and take photos of 3 outfits before my arms and shoulder started hurting and I got too warm.
Sent email to one doctor.
Translated like 3 words for the Avirrekava poem thing I mentioned yesterday. My language document is not organized very well at all so I've kind of lost my flow of working on it. I've heard about people making searchable dictionary type things for their conlangs, so I'd like to look more into that maybe. As well as making a custom font, though I don't know if that's more difficult for syllabaries (so wouldn't be directly linkable to a plain english alphabet keyboard?? eh?). Anyway, I need to finish the tapestry/painting thing/etc. soon though since I have no good place to put it. The canvas is warping a little just laying haphazardly on my closet floor lol.
Made one quick mspaint background image for the next batch of song snippet things for my jokey music youtube.
Edited like 10 minutes of the Giant Worldbuilding Slideshow Project.. couldn't focus on that either since being at the computer today irritated my shoulders and arms.
Notable sights: Saw 6 baby ducks and their parents swimming in a nearby pond!! It's interesting how their colors seem to change so much, and the young ones have the little spots on their back. Not much else, I was not very active lol..
Goals moving forward: Still working on consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit pictures, post the poll adventure thing that has been sitting in a draft for weeks (I thought I would get it done today, but alas.. I don't even have to do much, just proofread and post it, I just keep having no energy/being preoccupied with other things/hurts to be on computer.. grrr.. I want to continue the story lol >:T).
Notable foods: HAD ASPARAGUS YEaaaaaghhhHHHH!!!!!!!!! Asparagus SQUAD!!!!!!!!!! ... Also a few pieces of smoked gouda with lunch, one of my favorite cheeses.
#just posting these publicly since it feels more like I'm doing something or easier to hold yourself accountable if you make public#declarations of goals and progress or etc. .. perhaps.. for now..#I'm just curious to see if it helps. I know some poeple do diary style stuff or etc. on social media to help with productivity so#worth trying for like a week at least lol#tired and sleepy of being tired and sleepy though. Every day that stuff like chronic health problems or weather or etc.#interfere with me getting stuff done and it's all stuff that I've also had on my todo list for like.. weeks at this point it's like.. oughh#insurmountable tasks ever looming piling upon my shoulderes...#I've been 'supposed to call a lab to shedule blood work' for like a week and a half now and everyday I get the number#out and look at it and just go 'hmm.... sooon...' and then suddenly it's 10pm and I didn't#You Know How It Is Folks. I'm going to write myself a script of exactly what to say and also tape it to my computer screen#Sometimes that helps. lol#I dont' feel like I need a full on caretaker or something at this point but someitmes I do think like.. in a few years with my various#physical and mental issues it would be nice to have a Person Who Functions Normally Socially come visit me like once#every two weeks to help me plan things and make phone calls. Same with creative stuff too though. I bet I'd be doing something creative as#a career by now if I had like. an Assigned Neurotypical Extrovert to network for me and help me navigate things like that bjhbhj#hashtag hermit problems. etc. etc. (not just like 'a little weird and asocial' but like.. 'near complete inability to function in society'#type hermit problems lol..#ANYWAY.. ..#Also fighting the urge to have another personality typing phase. I can feel it creeping up. My 'once every 3 months when I get very#interested in the enneagram and other stuff again' type of thing. distracting myself with worldbuilding paintings instead ghgj#why don't you do a phone call for your blood work first maybe then you can spend 3 hours reading about tritypes or whatever#I have so many interests and hobbies but a handful of Main Ones and they never go away I just seem to take turns with them#Except worldbuilding I think that's always there. Genuinely again.. wish I could find some way to work that into a career. that is the only#thing I could to 1000 hours straight at any time of day under any circumstance. Kidnap me and lock me in a basement and I will be passing#my time thinking about what type of cheese elves make and all the things I'm going to write once I escape captivity ghjhj#EVEYRHTING else though lol.. kind of comes and goes. but can be annoying when it's suddenly the only thing my mind#wants to focus on. BUT yeagh.. ANYWAY... rambling again#daily log
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From no good updated twitter I mean X, to tumblr. Hello blogging, whatever that is. I am Dani.
From now on, this will be my new diary where I can delve more into my thoughts, become vulnerable, emotional, crazy, weird, stupid, comical, smart, funny - name it all.
I just want to express myself w/out being constantly scrutinized by the public eye.
One day, I enjoy the attention I get from posting stuff in my facebook, instagram, and twitter - the next, it just drives me to the brink of insanity because I really hate being placed in a microscope and be judged for posting about a fraction of my life.
Funny how I decided to create a tumblr account after watching the Vanishing at Cecil Hotel on Netflix. Elisa Lam (rest in peace) is such an icon with her posts and thoughts, and I know she will not only be remembered as the missing girl in Cecil Hotel. For everyone who got to know a piece of her mind through her blog will surely remember her as the smart, badass, artistic asian who wants to explore and prolly change the world for the better as much how we all want to as well.
Anyway, til next random thought.
Always delightful, Dani.
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Well, I didn't expect to be sitting down an deciding to write a lengthy personal post about the app, Vent. But its shutting down for good in literally two days. If this was any other situation where it slowly just became inactive but stayed up, I wouldn't mention it. But an app shutting down for good is a big deal, and I'll cross my fingers that I get sent the data I requested.
Vent is an app I feel like everyone seems to be aware of but left and forgot after its boom in 2016-2017. no one really says that they use it, most left it after that period. its pretty well known for weird and absurd kin posts and drama and other nonsense. having been on it since it launched, i saw... so much. so so much.
Having gotten to it around age 16, that app houses a huge amount of personal posts I made on an app I considered the best place to dump some of the most private, venty things. Boy does it catalogue a huge series of development and mental growth. And above all stands as a lesson to myself on how to manage such personal things around others online.
What is to be said isn't me forcing a lesson on the reader, but just expressing what I learned- because in those teenage years it was easy to want to have all my online friends involved in seeing my vent posts. That Age on tumblr, that culture around validation and mental illness- I wanted validation and post interactions. I vented a lot, teen years sucked- this seemed fine to do from my unaware mind but it caused so much tension, stress, and drama in my closest relationships that I still wish hadnt occurred- but can accept that behavior years later... i was just a teen, it wasn't surprising. Getting your bestest friends in a private closed circle of venting is not as good of an idea as you'd want it to be, to say the least. Especially when you're teens and dont have therapy.
But that is to say- Vent became its best to me when I closed it off entirely to everyone except for one good mutual I had gained purely through Vent, and eventually one key IRL friend. Me, two other people. That was it. It turned into a diary for years after I chose to do that and it had been very useful for me. One or two people I didn't mind getting a glimpse into things, especially after i matured and learned to...better control and understand how to vent in a healthier way.
It was somewhere I went to maybe once a month, maybe less frequently, to just... throw out a huge post documenting my feelings and important thoughts from the last many weeks. Great big summaries I'd have no energy to split up into a priv twitter thread, or post on public blogs.
Growth. So so much growth. So much in all those posts and all that time. Almost 8 years of my incredibly personal thoughts sit on that app and it sucks knowing that place will be gone for good. There could be a miracle but it seems unlikely.
For those never on the app, or stopped using it ages back- Vent has been a mess for a long time. It has gone through various changes in hopes of keeping it alive- for years its just been all over the place. It barely functions most times. It's been limping for years now and it was always a joke to me that it hadn't gone down yet. It seemed inevitable- and here we are! Gone on the 28th of Feb, and it was only stated a few days ago. And theyd been promising they had an alternative..
Losing things like this sucks, because it is a part of the internet. People love to say nothing truly goes away on the internet- and thats just not true. Time and time again we lose apps and websites with no backups or way to view them reliably. Newer age technology makes this especially harder to preserve. While I and others have requested our data, there will be hundreds if not thousands of accounts left to vanish after Vent shuts down, especially given the incredibly short notice.
So, RIP Vent, you were already dead for some years anyways. But I appreciate what I made of it and its a shame I can't think of any place where I could keep this kind of diary up still.
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Hello Again. At this point, I think Tumblr has just become my private/public diary 😂
Anyways, so my Mother’s Cousin passed away yesterday. I don’t know if I should be concerned, but I don’t feel any emotion. I haven’t cried about it yet. I guess I’m still waiting for my tears 🤷♀️
Anyways, my new book cover has finished today! I’m so happy and I love it so much. The artist who made it is on Instagram and here is their account: @arts.n.thingss
I’m so happy about it! Also, please go read my first chapter on Wattpad: Crash & Burn by kylynnThebookworm
For the first semester of school, I had all A’s. Now I have a B! When I saw it on my progress report I almost screamed 😦.
I’m now in tutoring so that grade won’t be there for long 😅
I’ve been trying to become a swiftie by listening to all Taylor’s songs from her very first one. I’m now on album 2, Fearless! It’s hard work but I’m making it.
Anyways, I’m about to shower now and listen to my jazz. Have a nice Thursday!
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I was gonna put these tags in tumblr's feedback form but like. if I was someone reading feedback, I'd honestly rather read something that's actionable (because sentiment is easy to understand but hard to make solutions for) so I'm just gonna draft here some suggestions before sending, because apparently, I have opinions. anyway this'll just be one of many, I'm sure staff will see a lot of suggestions in their time, so I'm not really expecting anything to come out of this. but uh, my two cents:
okay, first of all, what is tumblr? (I promise I'm going somewhere with this, it informs the actionable points later). I think it's obvious now that the tumblr userbase wants tumblr to stay true to what makes tumblr unique instead of copying what other social media sites are doing. but what is it that makes tumblr unique? why did people come here, and why have users stayed on this platform? a lot of us have been here for more than a decade now despite this site "slowly dying" and just hanging on by a miracle.
for me, what I like is how different tumblr culture is. tags function as community hubs, as ways to archive and organize individual blogs, and as quiet commentary. blogs are not treated like social media "user accounts" tied to an identity and one way of socializing. they are pseudonymous and flexible enough to function as a portfolio, a diary, an account to interact with other accounts, a collection of essays, anything really! it's a blog! you can do whatever you want! as much as we engage with other users, blogs are also a personal space just for you. this is your own little place on the internet, your own bulletin board. it can be anything you want it to be. and like, the pseudonymity thing (and not making follower count public) is important, I think, because it informs how users interact. nobody here gets influencer points. just do you. it's freeing in a way other sites aren't.
also, you can queue posts. how neat is that? I think it's cool because posts have longevity in this site, which also builds into site culture. this is why we have homegrown memes and inside jokes. posts don't disappear after 24 hours. you can reblog 10 year old posts if you think the art is really cool or the joke is really funny or the post is still relatable, and no one will find that weird.
and that's the thing, isn't it? tumblr is a microblogging site before it is a "social media" site. customizability is built into the platform. don't want an algorithm? you can opt-out on so many ways your dashboard can show posts. you can customize your blog theme and create your own tags to organize posts. you can change your dashboard colors. posts don't have a character limit and they give you so many tools for formatting. you can make sideblogs!! double, triple the blogs!! maybe you have a public fandom blog, an aesthetic blog, and a personal diary that you keep private. so many tools to make your experience flexible.
okay, so what are actionable things we can do to double down on what makes tumblr special? mind you, these are all just suggestions and like, I didn't really think of how easy or fast they will be to implement nor how much money this will rake in. but like. also, even if these suggestions are stupid hard to do, I believe that just showing the general direction of changes to do and prioritize should be reflected on showing off what makes tumblr different. and I hope to illustrate that here.
so, sticking on that theme of blogging and customizability:
we have a blog system. cool! you know what blogs have? about pages. tag pages. we used to make custom pages for this, now newer users just link their carrd. yeah, that's easier, but what if all tumblr blogs just had a default about page and tag page? like, you know what frustrates me about the mobile view for blogs? I have to manually link about and tag pages there (or carrd links, but I don't have a carrd). why can't it be a default thing? make all blogs have an about page and a tags page. users can turn it off if they don't want it. users can customize the pages further if they want to make it fancy. the tags page can list your top 10 tags or whatever as a start. we already show popular tags in a blog's search bar, so just take that to the next level. and this has the added benefit of reminding people that, hey, you have a blog and this is your playground for self expression. playgrounds are fun when there are toys! give users toys for their blogs, tumblr!
a functioning blog navigation system. what do all blogs have? well they have submissions and asks, and users will usually have some custom tags for them. blogs have a whole archive system that's underutilized and rather hidden. why not create a system that makes it easier to find all of these when scrolling through a blog? let users set their custom tag for asks and make that visible in the blog navigation menu, or just make them more accessible and easier to find. I don't want to go to the web version and type /archive in the url anymore. also, users can decide which ones to enable/disable in the nav system (maybe users don't want submissions or archives there, that's cool too).
users can see the top posts for a blog. cool! how about we make a customizable version of that? like, we can still keep the tumblr-generated top posts, but what if we let blogs have a user-generated highlights page as well? keep the highlights page limited to a couple of posts, maybe 10. artists can put their favorite art there. writers with their fics. fandom blogs with their meta essays and funny posts. aesthetic blogs with gifs and moodboards they're proud of. random posts about their day that they want people to know. maybe a blog has a combination of all of them to show the variety in their blog. give users a way to show what's generally on their blog in a flash. like top posts, but users decide which ones are the top one. like pinned posts, but longer.
we have a badge system. cool! how about we let users create their own custom badges? and let them share those badges with others? heck we can even make it a paid feature. I buy a badge from the marketplace, tumblr gets a small cut for distributing, but the creator gets most of the payment (this is important! pay your artists!). I mean, this is already a thing with blog themes (though idk, do people actually pay for themes these days?)
this one is just a personal thing, but aside from badges, can we get little hats for our icon/pfp/avatar/whatever people call it these days? like the top hat from that one april fools'. just a lil hat on the dashboard, I think that would be cute. :)
create an onboarding experience for new users. show users a guided tutorial on what settings they can opt in or out of, what they can customize on their blog, how to follow tags, and so on. maybe we don't need to appeal to how users from other sites use those sites. we want them to see what makes tumblr unique and how to actually see it. and I know what you're going to say. "oh, but the friction, protect-namine. the onboarding experience means it takes longer for users to start using the site". one: make it optional then. two: honestly, we probably should have more friction because we have a spambot problem. one of the best deterrents for spam is making it harder for them to start using the site.
tumblr is a playground and playgrounds need toys that are fun. tumblr live/tv? hate it. polls? love it, it builds community and everyone likes clicking buttons. layout change? don't like it, it makes tumblr look like other sites and it looks cluttered and takes attention away from the dashboard. ability to set popular tags in a blog search bar? love that, it makes my blog mine, now can we just extend this concept to every other change we can do for the site?
I am suggesting these things with love. maybe some of these suggestions are too hard or we don't have resources for them, maybe some of them are already in progress. I have no fucking idea. but I just think tumblr already has something going on for itself, and I would really like for that thing to keep going and be prioritized instead of seeing this site be cannibalized into something it isn't (a twitter clone).
#mine musings#tumblr#look man i need tumblr to survive for my mental health#i hate facebook i hate twitter i hate instagram there's no community in mastodon that appeals to me and reddit is fucked so like#tumblr you have a golden opportunity to get your shit together so can you not. ruin this. for me#long post#sorry for the long post i'm procrastinating at work
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I left work bang on time yesterday, skipping merrily towards the bus stop with carefree abandon, as if the concept of buses running late simply didn't exist in my silly sausage brain. But when I bounced up to the stop at 5:37 sharp for the 5:37 bus, blow me down with a feather if the blasted contraption wasn't already running late. By the time the damn bus finally sputtered up at ten past six, I was positively hopping about like a chicken headed for the chop.
I boarded the bus with my headphones stuffed firmly in my lugholes as per usual, deaf as a post and oblivious to the world around me. I flashed my phone at the driver to show my ticket, and he waved me on with a look that seemed to say, "Welcome aboard the SS Numbskull!" I trotted on to find a seat when all of a sudden the driver bellowed at me to come back. "Are you f*cking stupid?" he bellowed. Well! There's really no cause for that sort of language from a public service employee now is there.
I explained as politely as I could that on account of my headphones pumping the heavy metal directly into my fragile eardrums, I simply didn't grasp his instructions the first time. But he was having none of it and turfed us all off the bus anyway, grouchy knickers in quite the twist for reasons beyond me. Then some fearless lady had the audacity to approach His Majesty and suggest he was being rather rude, well! His head nearly spun clean off! He burst out of his seat and started hurling the word "c*nt" back and forth with the woman like a hot potato. Frankly the entire episode was quite astonishing and I've reported it today. I do wonder if the woman actually filmed the shocking confrontation as she claimed. In any case, the next bus came in 5 minutes and I scampered on without further incident, but not without furiously scribbling the entire debacle in my diary the moment I arrived home.
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02.13.24
i'm not too sure if i'll stick with this, if it goes nowhere i can always leave or hold the account. i've always been told i should make a blog, somewhere i can release everything i've been thru and everything i wanna say. it's super fucking corny.
i admit that i do have a lot to say in my head, and i am open that i talk to myself a lot more than others. i tried journaling physically, but who the fuck has time to sit down and write like that? i suppose typing it is no different, but at least with typing it and keeping it somewhere i can feel more obligated or motivated to keep it up. i definitely need to journal, to have a space where i can be completely and authentically me and still, for right now, anonymous. it's ironic seeing it typed out, wanting to be authentic but anonymous. sometimes anonymity is comforting, because i can be authentic because no one knows who i am. meaning that no one can judge me as i am but just as someone on the internet. idk, it makes more sense in my head. i don't think i'll stay anonymous on here forever (if i even stick around here), but i think for now i can try and get into the flow of things and see where it goes. i doubt anyone will see what i'm yapping about, but i can only hope that someone reads my garbage and feels less alone. maybe even ask a question or two. i love talking to people, but in person i worry that i'll freak them out with my word vomiting. maybe i'm thinking too far ahead.
anyways, i wanna make it a goal to write at least once a day. about whatever's on my mind or whatever happened. a weird public diary. i'll probably try out some photography stuff because i do like taking pictures and they help me. i'll keep the blog within my aesthetic too, so it's not entirely my blabbering. i hope i can keep up with it.
mood: lethargic
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04.01.2024
can't believe we're already four days into the new year! and i also can't believe that i've managed to write a little something each day so far. [i'm not usually very good at that, lol]
but anyway, i've made this account as a sort of digital diary. i know it's kind of a strange thing to do, to have it be so public but idc rn. it's a memoir of sorts, and the private post function exists, so i can always use that.
but right now, i don't mind typing into the void. it's sort of therapeutic and much better that talking in my head. sometimes that's not a very nice place to be.
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How many tags can I put on a post? #help also first blog post ever
I have so much to say.
First off, I should have been here much earlier.
I have always had so much to say. I desperately need a blog, I need to dump all of my thoughts onto strangers and get their opinions. Why does tumblr finish the sentence for you?? I don't like that. Anyways, I have no idea how to use this site or what the social norms are for this site but I have heard so much about yall and I am ready to contribute. I am going to use this however the fuck I want to.
I am pretty sure this is going to be a blog. It's going to be a lot of writing. I really want to eventually write a book or a D&D campaign, but for now I will most likely just make this a public diary. I plan to post current and past (and future) diaries here. I'm not really sure what to start with first. Should I start with the one that led to me posting this? I am also trying to make sure this account remains anonymous. Any tips?
People have always told me that I seem like one of those girls who uses tumblr and I am fucking ready!! to fulfill! Their expectations!! Also, I am not a girl anymore, I am a 26 year old adult that is looking to find herself in strangers on the internet!!!
#blog#first tumblr post#new to tumblr#arethesetagslame#journal entry#howmanytagscaniuse#should i be using spaces in these
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The Doctor in Myths & Historical Impossibilities
Alongside various other mysteries, the book Myths & Historical Impossibilities collates quite a few accounts of the mysterious Doctor figure.
There are tales of a medic involving himself in the works of Shakespeare, a lewd encounter with a painter in the court of King Charles II, and a botched escape from a German POW camp.
The introductory passage to the chapters relating to the Doctor:
"THE UNNAMED DOCTOR"
One of the most intriguing and compelling of all the documented historical impossibilities I have come across in my studies so far is what I like to call "The Strange Case of the Unnamed Doctor." Nearly a dozen incidents of this mysterious man cropping up in wildly varying locations and periods of our history makes this one of the most mysterious cases herein. Some have called him the "Bow-Tied Boy," others the "Time Drifter," but whoever he was, or is, he certainly seems to get around…
This passage gives us a few other names by which the "doctor" is known. These seem to be tied to a specific version of the doctor.
Excerpt referring to the casting of a British movie:
As was often the case with the speedy turnaround of the famous Carry On comedy films, publicity pictures were sometimes taken before the cameras even started rolling. Though the actor pictured here (identified as 'John Smith' on the back of the photograph) did not end up playing the role of the Khasi of Kalabar in Peter Rogers' 1968 camp classic Up The Khyber- the role eventually being filled by veteran Carry On star Kenneth Williams - he clearly got as far as a costume fitting. In an entry from 12 March 1968 in Kenneth Williams's diary, Smith is referred to briefly.
"Costume's far too big," complains Williams. "Daft idiots offering the role to Smith. Who's heard of him anyway? Should never have turned it down in first place… Met JS briefly yesterday at Pinewood. Nice looking chap. Checked for him later in Spotlight directory - no trace!"
No other clues remain as to why or how this 'John Smith' was hired or fired from the movie.
"John Smith" is another name - believed to be an alias - often associated with the doctor, particularly one "Dr. John Smith" who is counted amongst UNIT staff who many believe to be the original "Doctor". What was he doing auditioning for a role in a 'Carry On...' film?
Excerpt regarding a mass prison break during the second world war:
Six months later, every allied prisoner escaped from Stalag Luft 14 in a single night - during an anachronistic stage production of the musical 'La Cage aux Folles', a musical which had yet to be written. Even the Germans were taking part in the performance, and by the time the Schutzstaffel arrived, the commandant was caught in the middle of performing a solo of 'I Am What I Am.'
While comical, if true, this would add weight to the prevailing theory that the doctor is a time-traveller. In this case, he saves prisoners of war but also seems to have damaged the continuity of the timelines.
Excerpt detailing an appearance in the Bayeux Tapestry:
The Bayeux Tapestry - though, of course, not actually a tapestry - has fascinated scientists, historians and the public alike for centuries. Of all the images depicted in this fascinating commemoration of the events surrounding the Norman Conquest, none is more difficult to comprehend than the seemingly anachronistic figure in the bow tie pointing towards what is now widely thought to be Halley's Comet. Could he be our Unnamed Doctor? And what of the strange words 'Cooee pond"? Certainly not Latin. A joke by the nuns who embroidered this masterpiece, perhaps? We may never know.
This is one of many strange anomalies that can be found within the Bayeux Tapestry, including lizard people and a blue box. The image matches well with one of the reported "doctors," of whom there seem to be many.
Appearance of what is possibly the Doctor in an extended nursery rhyme:
This I stumbled across in an 1819 book entitled Mrs Molbury's Collected Rhymes Both Ancient and Modern. Though the first verse is the same as those usually found in texts of this period, the rest of the tale is very different indeed. What could a 'Sontaran' be? Considering a 'humpty-dumpty' is supposedly a 17th-century beverage of boiled brandy and ale, might this Sontaran too have been an ancient cocktail of some kind? And could the 'Fool' in question be the Unnamed Doctor?:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's Horses and all the King's Men Couldn't put Humpty together again.
But then came a cry, 'twas from the King's Fool: Opining that bow ties look fashionably cool. He stepped from a blue box and said with a grin: "What a terrible pickle you've got yourselves in."
Curiously, not only is this the first time in history Humpty-Dumpty is explicitly referred to as an egg, the illustrations for this edition include a blue box. The language is also anachronistic, and the word "Strax" also appears within reports of the "Paternoster Gang" in reference to a henchman or butler whose "countenance was too abominable to be photographed."
More historical mysteries and references to "the unnamed doctor" are available to read about in Professor Clifford Measey's Myths & Historical Impossibilities, which I highly recommend to all of you. If you don't want to invest money, please check it out at your local library. It really is a fascinating read.
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first...second...second first
it's funny that every time i think about writing i never really know what to say. i don't remember making this account in 2018, or writing for the first time on here. i've gone back and forth between journaling--where to do it, if it's even helping me--and there's a strong chance that i'll move on from this just like the other journals and modes of expression.
i've just been kinda uninspired. i fear that i wasnt born to be an artist. i dont think i Do enough. i dont really photograph. nothing really inspires me anymore. i'm kinda worried that new york's tap has run dry, but i dont think it's effective to blame the city i live in instead of myself. this has been a problem of mine for years now. why is it so hard to express yourself?!! i feel like i have a lot in me and yet no way to show for it. i dont know if i have a good work life balance. i dont know if thats even the problem? it's just.....so easy to do nothing....? but it doesnt make me happy??? but i keep doing nothign anyway??? maybe THIS is the first step to that. there's a bit of ego in making this. like. diary public. though i dont really think anyone will see it (and i don't care (but i will tag this anyway and maybe check if it gets any notes)). but i dont mean it to be egotistical.
i am a product of post internet use. i grew up expressing myself online. i was on facebook in fifth grade, tumblr in middle school, wattpad/ao3 and stan twitter in high school, art school in college, and back on twitter as a young adult. there has never been a point where i wasn't trying to put myself out there somehow, to be seen and shared and agreed with or admired or congratulated or impressed by. this pressure To Be Seen at 24 feels the most strong. the strongest ever felt. everywhere all the time i see and am told that i have so much time and that 20s are just the beginning. but it doesnt feel that way at all. it LOOMS over me. life shouldnt be Established but it should be.....Impressive? thats the second time i used impressive in this post so thats some subconscious thing going on there. But much of life right now is waking up, going to work, hating work, coming home, sitting on the couch until it's time for bed (which i either fall asleep right there or lazily flop into bed--and consequently miss taking my antianxiety meds), and then i wake up all over again. there's nothing to really show for. i don't feel like an interesting person. i dont feel like i do enough for myself. i guess i have a fear that i will be in this cycle for so long that one day it's 20 years later and nothings reallllllly changed. like. fundamentally.
i cannot think that far ahead. i have no ten year plan, 5 year, one year, 6 months...but i will be a fucking doomer about myself every chance i get. it's, of course, easier to catastrophize in the moment. lower expectations = less chance of disappointment! i think it's also interesting that the only things i really journal about are negative thoughts. wtf is that about. i'm not even necessarily unhappy right now.
things that make me feel Happy:
having enough food in the house that i can make something without having to go out or order in
laying in the sun on the beach after getting bodied by waves
creme soda
when i'm wearing a dress and dont care about my underwear showing (i like to spread! im sitting knees up at my desk right now!!)
catching someone i like looking at me (does it mean anything extra if they're drinking something at the same time....? and they don't break eye contact...?)
customizable internet--the past now....i remember when tumblr was a WEBSITE more than an APP. we must free ourselves from The Profile.
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2023 So Far...
4:27 PM and I don't have anything at work to do so I'd rather start penning before I start losing my motivation to do so. lol. So I had to "forget password" before I access this account. :( idk but I always like writing what i feel atm I even jot down all the thoughts I have on my "notes" so I can get back to it anytime I want to make an entry here in my blog. IDK when did it start but half of me feel so tamad like most of the time, I can't function at all. No, I'm not depressed it's just that I'm not in the mood of doing anything. I guess that's one of the changes about this thing called "adulting" that I must embrace. After pandemic I can feel some massive changes in me that I can't explain. I felt like there's a rapid and frequent changes in life that I can't fathom but I have to keep up so I can't be left behind. I mean, I'm contented in what ever i have in life now, at times I'm happy I don't even remember the last time I cried, okay it's me justifying that i'm not sad or jealous 'bout life lol it's just that, I get tired and worn up easily mentally and physically for what reason? that i don't know. Getting old huh.
Before, I really like blogging because I can share whatever I want, tumblr has been my public diary, no judgment or anything. I can talk to my self and at the same time i can document all the feelings I've felt. This has been my go-to when most of my friends turns their back on me. I can still remember how terrible and depressing my life in my early 20s is. It's something I can't comprehend how did I get through it without losing my mind. I was literally going with the flow in life not nowing what's gonna happen next or what tomorrow will bring. It's when I accepted that no other person can stick with me. I felt so alone then. the thought of it makes me cry lol
Anyway, what did is the main reason why i write today? Nothing.. I just want to kill time before going home. I was about to make an update of my life since 2023 but ofcourse it's me I won't be able to finish or accomplish anything lol. So instead of a life update, it's just a random thoughts I had atm.
Love, self.
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I'm having an interesting time going through and finding old blogs I had before and concurrent to this one.
The oldest posts on here are from June 2010, but I made this blog in October 2009. The first blog I ever made was on Blogspot in 2006 when I was eleven, and that still exists somehow. I had a blog tied to my MSN account that is lost forever now, which is so sad because I had some really weird iconic shit on there (like middle school inside jokes, me rambling about music and how I was born in the wrong generation, and best of all the Thanksgiving 2008 recap). I had two Xangas, a public and a private one. And apparently I had a Wordpress which I COMPLETELY forgot about.
So I'm going through and reading stuff because... well, honestly because I followed this guy from high school on Instagram, and he followed me back and I haven't talked to him in over a decade because I made him hate me at some point, and it reminded me of how we used to hang out my freshman year and how I probably wrote about it on one of my old blogs. So that's why I'm thinking about this stuff. Convoluted as ever.
Anyway. There are a couple of things that are interesting about this to me. Number one is that it's crazy that people who grew up like me, doing our memory-keeping digitally (as opposed to our forefathers who kept physical diaries and photo albums), will eventually just have no trace of this stuff. I'm not going to be 80 years old and able to pull up any of these old blogs, or my Instagram or Facebook page. I have all my photos and shit backed up, but maybe there won't be a way to view them one day, or it'll be really convoluted, like the way shit is just trapped on cassettes or floppy discs now. It's just so weird to think this stuff will all disappear one day and it's out of our control entirely. We still have diaries from hundreds of years ago, but in hundreds of years tumblr.com will not, like, be around. You feel me?
The second thing is that it's so funny the ways I've changed since my adolescence and the ways that I haven't. Like, there's this one blog post where I'm talking about hanging out with that guy I mentioned earlier and how all the sad shit was still in the back of my mind but I wasn't hurting as bad as I usually was. This was in regards to my first breakup of course. But then I go on to say that while I know it's healthy to move on and make happy memories, it also makes me feel less close to my ex and like I was losing him even more than I already had. That is an impulse I can still relate to, wanting to stay living in an unhappy feeling rather than just forgetting about it. "I miss the comfort in being sad" and all that. (Quoting that made me realize I'm too old to be in the 27 Club now. Obviously, but I had never thought about it.)
There's also one where I say one of the reasons I would hate to go to therapy is that there are too many things I'd be unwilling to say. That's true now too! I think about that, like, EVERY day! There's so much shit I could never explain or feel comfortable talking about! There's so much shit I've never said out loud to another soul, and I'm not about to start! (I should start.)
But really, a lot of it is very pretentious in that "I'm a teenager and I know everything" sort of way, and it's endearing. I forgot about a lot of this stuff too honestly, which is strange because it's me. The other day I was talking about a memory and Brandon paused for a moment, chuckled darkly and asked me if I think everyone I've ever met realizes that everything they've ever said or done is catalogued in my memory forever. And I was like, well, no. No one can anticipate that. But also the thing I was just talking about? I remember exactly what room I was in when it happened, and what that room looked like, and who I was with, and so on and so forth. And it's a very UNIMPORTANT thing, let me tell you. But I remember most things like that, because I'm insane or something. Yet here I am on my blog at 15 writing about my parents talking on the phone. I forgot my parents ever talked on the phone.
There are also a lot of things about my childhood that I embellish. Which is funny, because my childhood objectively sucked. I didn't need to embellish. Maybe I thought I did because I really didn't understand how bad it was at the time. I don't think I really did until the last few years, honestly. I thought because no one had ever necessarily beaten the shit out of me that it was to be considered good, I think. But I just read a poem I wrote for my creative writing class in my freshman year of high school and I don't know how Mrs. Patrick didn't like, call the police? It's SO dramatic and vague.
Then again, in another post I'm talking about how our power got shut off because my dad didn't pay the bill (semi-regular occurrence at that time) and how he was stomping around screaming and cursing, and I just went outside and sat on the porch to listen to my iPod, and then later my dad thanked me for being the grounded one. And I'm like, oh, I talked about all this shit like I thought it happened at everyone's house on any given Tuesday. I know when I went to therapy when I was 17 I never mentioned any of that kind of stuff, or the general parentification/adultification stuff or neglect or even my sexual assault because I didn't think any of that was even "a thing" at that age. So that's... an interesting frame of mind to revisit.
This is getting really long. Maybe I'll post any funny snippets but I dunno, I'm reading my private Xanga right now and it's the most bleak shit. It's not possible anyone could ENJOY reading it.
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FALSE: The Future Pilot Episode of Kim Possible has no connection with CoViD-19 [#OneNETnewsFindsOut]
(Prepared and Written by Rhayniel Saldasal Calimpong)
MIDDLETON, COLORADO -- The American animated cartoon show Kim Possible claims that the future of the pilot episode presented in late last June 2002 was suddenly changed. In the episode entitled "Bueno Nacho", where basically a pilot episode hits different with a total shock of events.
Middleton's Communication Student Guru named Wade Load, the episode foretold in the next 2 decades before the global Coronavirus Disease-19 (CoViD-19) pandemic is absolutely true. The caption was not quite accurate as of this writing: "Laugh all you want! In less than 20 years, everyone will be working from home just like me!", Wade said. Our news team of OneNETnews, in partnership with TEGNA decides to debunk this futuristic conversation.
Sources are the following:
*An archived post, obtained and screengrab by a subreddit of Tumblr
*KP Fan World's website for Episode Transcripts
*Wikipedia
*Fandom
*Amazon Prime Video
and
*World Health Organization
In the early minutes of the pilot episode as we discovered from a Transcription source, Wade's future state during a conversation about Kim Possible is incorrect. Much, in fact, Wade has an urgent need to start a first mission, instead of buying a Green Fashion Dress. Her bank account was compromised and is not linked or connected to the anticipated future episode of the said virus.
K.P.: It's criminal! Someone at Club Banana is in major style denial! Now this is me! Come to...
W.L.: Kim, I have bad news!
K.P.: No kidding. I can not afford this jacket.
W.L.: I know. I pulled up your bank account. You are broke! But that's not the bad news.
K.P.: Apparently the bad news is that my friend who runs my website is hacking into my account! Have you peeked up my diary?
W.L.: Of course not! Anyway, the bad news is that your arch foe, Dr. Drakken, has escaped from prison!
K.P.: That's major bad!
W.L.: Almost as bad as last week at school when you used the boys' room by accident!
K.P.: Wade, nobody saw that! You have been reading my diary!
W.L.: Good luck on the mission! Bye!
American voice actor and singer in Hawaii named Tahj Dayton Mowry is responsible for voicing Wade in every episode of Kim Possible. We tried to reach out through Instagram's private message via Facebook Messenger, Mowry was declined for a comment.
But in conclusion, does this pilot episode predict for CoViD-19 in the next 20 years? The answer, NO. The global pandemic does not involve its American cartoon show. A meme factor from a Tumblr post implies to work at home for everyone else under subtitled headings. Wade Load has reached out exclusively from a phone patch interview.
CoViD-19 is an infectious disease caused by the SARS-CoV-2, due to the absence of a future and altered pilot episode of Kim Possible. The World Health Organization (WHO) and Disney Television Animation (DTVA) apologize to the public by telling people unexpectedly to falsely work at home due to the said virus per episode prediction. Animation and post-production staff have strict standards & practices to ensure that the American cartoon show will not take into consideration of their virus problems for children, teens, and even adults.
Wade continues to speak with Kim Possible whenever the new mission comes out sooner, rather than a global virus.
SCREENGRAB COURTESY for REPRESENTATION: Amazon Prime Video for DTVA
BACKGROUND PROVIDED BY: Tegna
SOURCE:
*https://ifunny.co/picture/or-laugh-all-you-want-in-less-than-twenty-years-A62ccBAv8?s=cl [Referenced Photo via iFunny]
*https://old.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/vij700/wade_predicted_it_so_accurately/ [Referenced Photo via Reddit]
*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Kim_Possible_episodes#Season_1_(2002%E2%80%9303)
*https://kpfanworld.com/Guides/bueno-nacho/Transcript [Referenced Transcript via KP Fan World]
*https://www.amazon.com/dp/B073RRP1VG/ [Referenced Purchase Listings from Amazon Prime Video]
*https://www.who.int/health-topics/coronavirus
*https://disney.fandom.com/wiki/Middleton
*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tahj_Mowry
and
*https://www.instagram.com/tahj_mowry/
-- OneNETnews Team
#middleton#colorado#kim possible#wade load#CoViD-19#CoViD19#prediction#predict#future#episode#Season 1#pilot episode#authentic#debunked#cartoon#exclusive#first and exclusive#OneNETnews
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