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dayurno · 3 months

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more than a woman is the ultimate kevin day song to me……. im so glad you agree…… i knew you would understand. i was listening to that playlist the other day and realized i HADNT added it yet and it felt like an oversight so i had to fix it immediately. it was very important to me the whole playlist wasn’t sad. i stsrted my kevin playlist in the height of me losing my mind about him last year in july (i read the books for the first time at the end of may!) but it only made me crazier so i held off making the jean one until november LOL. his is def a little more sad but i think a good portion of the songs are hopeful :-) and YEAH jean is soooo hozier to me. i gave myself a limit on how many hozier songs i could add. it will probably be broken eventually

UR PINTEREST BOARD that fic is going to kill me. im so excited every time you share something about it…. the dynamics seem so fun ^-^ also the richard siken tweet in there Took me Out. i own and have read crush by him so many times like it’s such a big part of who i am and relating that to kerejean makes me. sbdjebx. sweating. nauseous. so excited. the vibes are so good, it feels very nostalgic and warm already….. btw your jean playlist hit me over the head and gave me a.Concussion. i wanna get better???!?! under the table???? OOM SHA LA LA? that song changed my brain chemistry like three years ago and im going to associate it with him forever now. your kevjean playlist being so long is so very real too….. i need to sit down and listen to the full nine hours of it.

DBSIDBSID. the kandrew beef is Personal and it’s so funny. i am working on making them get closer it just takes a lot of time bc andrew simply does not like to stick around. he comes to a sort of truce with them at some point, mostly after he and jean have a Talk alone, but he still doesn’t like kevin for a while. there IS side andreil tho…. neil is 26 :3 he comes to visit kevjean in paris for a bit and immediately causes problems. but the problems help them get their shit together so it’s fine! andrew is of course intrigued. most of it happens in the background tho bc they like to disappear together…… but neil actually ends up in foster care and gets adopted by wymack when he’s around 13, which is around the same age andrew is adopted and meets jeremy, so they understand each other still :) they do a lot of sneaking around and do not want their relationship perceived at all vs jeremy knox head of the PDA committee and very happy for his own friend finding love.

the biting…….. jeremy falls somewhere in the middle of the spectrum but he does suffer from the most intense feelings of love anyone has ever felt and will latch on like a dog and not let go sometimes. it really depends on his mood and what they’re doing how hard he bites ^-^ jean almost never complains but kevin always does. as is how they are. and they really both love attacking kevin. sitting there biting at his neck and shoulders and jean in particular likes gnawing on the wrist bone. jeremy is only a few inches shorter than kevin but will not hesitate to push him around….. dreamy sigh. at first he’s very nervous about overstepping Anything around either of them but once he knows that they actually like him he becomes such a menace. it’s his life’s duty to make kevin day, his childhood celebrity crush, a little embarrassed and whiny. both he and jean are soooo happy to tease kevin and kevin complains constantly about being ganged up on. jeremy is actually still IN college too, he turns 23 toward the beginning of the fic (i. hc him as a cancer!) and he and andrew have their fifth year to get through so he’s really just some college kid nibbling on and picking on them and taking over their apartment. trust that jean gets teased too he wouldn’t want anyone left out!

JEANFO….. jean….. my apple strudel….. there is so much i could say about him but it feels hard to do him justice…… he really is so special. he’s a little more healed of course bc he’s 28 and has always had kevin keeping contact with him. kevin got out at 14 so jean was there for 6 years without him and it’s really. it’s not a good time for him. but kevin refuses to lose contact and even sneaks across state lines to see him at 16 when he gets his license (with 14yo neil). jean has always had something to hold onto and live for. so jean is doing okay……. he still struggles and he’s very stubborn so he would rather AVOID things and kevin isn’t the kind of person who’s going to push him to face them (kevin has his own things to avoid) but he gets a good push from jeremy. and he LOVESSSS keremy. it’s one of his greatest joys that the two people he loves most care about each other the way they do. he’s so obsessed with them and so excited to show them off when they get together with friends. he’s really a little bit of a clingy freak :-) ESPECIALLY if he gets drunk. he’s a very needy drunk and if someone doesn’t kiss him (or if he doesn’t get to bite) his whole night is ruined and they certainly can’t have that. he learns quickly he cannot keep up with jeremy Party Boy knox tho. he’s a silly guy <3 sooo bitchy to everyone outside of his boyfriends but tender with them…. they’re trusted with his girlish little heart. i could talk about him for ages but i fear tumblr will cut me off LOL our responses to each other are getting so long like we’re writing letters by candlelight to be sent post-haste…..

HELLO MY LOVE im sorry for the late reply my pc was out of commission and answering asks on mobile is terrible but i am back now as your penpal. I LOVED MORE THAN A WOMAN OFC i understand i think i've had so many kevin day playlists since i first read aftg in 2020 (which feels like such a lifetime ago!), so i try not to keep too much track of them and not to take them or myself too seriously either. in a way all the playlists i've made have been an abstract of my life at the time of making so i want to preserve them that way! which is why my kandrew playlist is 6 hours long. because i am preserving.

THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY PINBOARD i wanted this fic most of all to be an ode to friendship. in kandreil i think theres so much history and tension there that sometimes it's easy to forget that there are other reasons people can stay together, so i wanted to write a kerejean where they felt like they were genuinely friends before it ever started careening into romance!!!! i think it's working. Probably. it's a very joyful and warm fic (or at least i hope it is) and i've been having a lot of fun with dialogue specifically because so much of friendship is just talking! anyway ah i have to stop myself before i spoil anything so just know it's going to be fun. hopefully. and there's a scene where jean calls kevin the first flower of edgar allen (direct rip off from tlt but bear with me)

I LOVE THEM BOTH TEASING KEVIN!!!! is there anything more genuine than teasing your crush together.......... that's the kind of thing i live 4 in relationship dynamics................ ohhh i just know this fic will get me so bad if it ever sees the light of day (heh).... ALSO HE'S STILL IN COLLEGE KEVINNNNNNNNNNN kevin youre letting a man still in college boss you around youve been better and more dignified endings. AND I LOVE DRUNK JEAN THANK YOU especially needy aiyayayaya..... my favorite senseless hc is that jean is a lightweight and he cant keep up with neither jeremy nor kevin nor renee. he's drunk off of one glass while the other three compete to see who can get liver failure first. he has been consistently getting drinked under the table by kevin for years. our beautiful apple strudel....... our little cabbage as the french say. :-)

i hope my candlelight letter reaches YOU post-haste and ofc im sorry for the wait!

#im sorry 2 everyone who sent asks these days really BUT IM BACK NOW I PROMISE #lets kiki again and have fun because god knows in these trying fucking times we need it #asks #kerejean fic anon

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spacepanda7 · 3 years

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I know a lot of AUs of AftG/TFC have been done in the Avatar universe, but has anyone done an Avatar: the Last Airbender AU?

Kevin, the Avatar has been missing for 100 years, before he is unwittingly discovered inside an iceberg by estranged waterbender twins Aaron and Andrew and their nonbending cousin Nicky who live in the Southern Water Tribe. (Aaron and Andrew do not give me waterbender vibes, but changing the nations didn't work that well, since either their trips would end up way shorter or the Air Nomads would be the world invaders. Which, no. Oh well, Aaron wants to heal people.) They find out he is the Avatar and reluctantly agree to accompany him to the Northern Water Tribe to learn waterbending. Along the way, they find out the exiled fire nation Prince Nathaniel is hunting the Avatar, in order to regain his honor. He is traveling alongside former General David Wymack, a taciturn man who nonetheless tries to guide and help his ward.

Along the way, they meet some interesting people and new friends including Roland, the leader of the Freedom Fighters, Dan, a young earthbender who Kevin helped break out of prison, and Erik, who leads the Kyoshi Warriors, and also encounter new enemies, including Commander Tetsuji of the Fire Nation. Once they get to the Northern Water Tribe, they meet the waterbending master Chuck. Initially, he wants to make Aaron go into warrior training instead of healing, as he wishes, due to the fact that male waterbenders are drafted to fight. But after a beatdown from Aaron, the Healing master Abby, and the fighting master Betsy (women fight here, they have an option but men have to) he agrees to let Aaron train as a healer. Andrew learns how to fight alongside Avatar Kevin. The Fire Nation invades, Kevin is briefly captured by Prince Nathaniel who Andrew defeats in a few seconds flat, and Commander Tetsuji tries to kill the Moon and is dragged into the Spirit World. Goodbye and good riddance to him.

So, next stop is the Earth Kingdom, where they look for an earthbending master. Eventually they find Katelyn, a young earthbending prodigy who was blinded in an accident as a child, and is therefore overly sheltered by her parents and sneaks out to fight in the Earth Rumbles. She travels with them to teach Kevin earthbending, and despite her disagreements with Kevin and Andrew (Aaron is immediately rather taken with her), she becomes a part of their group. They find out they have a new pursuer, the Crown Prince Riko of the Fire Nation and his two close nonbending friends, Jeremy, a cheerful chi blocker, and Jean, an apathetic swordsman (Knives will be Neil's thing). Meanwhile, Nathaniel and Wymack end up pursued by Riko as traitors, and are forced to go incognito in the Earth Kingdom, taking on the names Kyle (idk, in honor of Kayleigh, okay?) and Neil Josten.

Their paths cross in Ba Sing Se when they meet the conniving leader of the Dai Li, Proust. They tangle with the Dai Li and the incognito Prince Riko who is disguised as Erik, who recently rekindled a romance with Nicky on their way across the Serpent's Pass and was captured shortly after. After Nathaniel and Andrew are captured and thrown into the catacombs together, they talk, during which time Nathaniel expresses remorse for the suffering and personal trauma the Fire Nation inflicted on Andrew. He in turn, reveals that he is only after Kevin due to fear of what his father, Firelord Nathan, would inflict upon both him and Kevin's group if he doesn't obey, saying that while he is attemoting to capture Kevin to prove himself worth keeping alive, he is also trying to keep Kevin and the team out of his father's hands. Andrew tells him to "stop being a martyr". However, after they are freed and encounter Riko and Wymack in the catacombs, Nathaniel appears to change his mind and joins Riko in fighting Andrew, Kevin, and Aaron. Wymack surrenders himself in order to let the others escape. Riko mangles Kevin's left hand and almost kills him but Aaron manages to heal him and Andrew promises to protect him.

The Monsters regroup incognito in the Fire Nation to wait for the Day of Black Sun invasion. The invasion day arrives and everything seems to be going as planned until Kevin, Aaron, Nicky, and Katelyn encounter Riko in the throne room instead of Nathan. Nathaniel confronts his father and escapes to join the Monsters and most of their allies end up captured, though their old Freedom Fighting friends Matt and Allison and the earthbender Dan escape with them. They arrive at the Western Air Temple to recuperate and attempt to think of a new Firebending teacher for Kevin. Nathaniel, who now goes full time as Neil Josten, arrives and offers to help. He is immediately scorned by Kevin and mocked by Aaron and Andrew. However, when the assassin Gorilla (sent by Riko) arrives to kill the Monsters, Neil saves them and they reluctantly accept him. He warms up to the group members one by one, helping Nicky break Erik out of the Boiling Rock and helping Aaron hunt down and kill his brother's former tormentor Drake. While at the Boiling Rock, Jean makes a split second decision to save Neil, who he used to be close friends with, and Jeremy jumps in to help, resulting in their capture. After their "field trips", Neil tentatively earns Andrew's intrigue and Aaron's reluctant acceptance.

The comet arrives and Kevin goes missing. The rest of the monsters find their old mentors including Betsy and Abby, and Neil discovers Wymack as well. They reconcile and he advises them about what to do next. As the comet approaches, Aaron, Katelyn, Nicky, and Erik travel to the airship base to hopefully meet up with Kevin as he confronts Firelord Nathan. Neil and Andrew travel to the Fire Nation to confront Riko. After an extended, tough battle, when all hope seems gone, Kevin manages to hit Nathan, momentarily incapacitating him enough to kill him. Riko challenges Neil to an Agni Kai which he accepts. He is winning until Riko aims lightning at Andrew instead and Neil dives in front of him. Andrew fights Riko and manages to chain him and smash his arm. As a result, he has a psychotic break and kills himself. Andrew heals Neil and yells at him for making himself a martyr. Neil says that he wouldn't have done anything that might result in losing Andrew. He so explains that if he had turned on Riko in the catacombs, he would have been exposed, and his father would have stopped at nothing to break him, including torturing the Monsters. Andrew appears to accept the explanation.

And we know the rest: Kevin is crowned Firelord, and he, Jean and Jeremy, figure out where to go from there. Aaron travels home with Katelyn, Andrew stays to protect Kevin, and Neil stays with him, and Nicky and Erik leave to travel the world. Dan and Matt, and Allison and Renee get together and return home as well. And they live, not happily ever after, but something approaching it.

P.S. a few years later, Kevin goes on a search for his mother Kayleigh.

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aftgficrec · 3 years

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hi, thank you so much for all your work!! Do you have any fic recs of andrew and neil knowing each other before palmetto, doesn’t matter if it’s completely canon divergent or an au. Thank you so much!!

Here’s a selection of fics where Andreil have met before coming to Palmetto. - S

Also see...

Neil/Andrew meet pre-canon here

Andreil meet before canon, part 2 here

Andreil meet pre-canon, part 3 here

Andreil know each other before Millport here

Andreil on the run pre-canon here

Andreil meet in juvie here

Andreil meet in the system here

pre-canon Andreil start dating here

‘some ghosts are real enough (to be felt)’ here (since updated)

‘Leaving All Your Air Behind’ here

‘Travelers’ series here (since updated)

Ink Stains and Paper Cuts by Paradoxolotl [Rated M, 38089 words, complete, 2021]

Part 2 of Inked Truths

Andrew doesn't believe in regret. There's no point in wishing for things that can't be changed after all. He wouldn't go back to stop himself from being thrown in juvie; he had done it to protect a brother he never knew he had. Joining the exy team there was better than being stuck in his cell, even if it was boring. Even the penpal program for troubled youth his therapist put him in ended up giving him a puzzle to play with.

That puzzle was 'Hatford'.

A boy with a razor tongue and secrets, Andrew can't help but find himself interested in the stranger trading truths with him through poorly written letters.

Andrew doesn't believe in regret, but answering that first message may have lead to something he wasn't prepared for.

Set before 'Brother of Mine'.

tw: violence, tw: homophobia, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: dissociation, tw: self harm, tw: scars, tw: implied/referenced underage sex, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: drugs

Ink Blotted Memories by Paradoxolotl [Rated E, 30918 words, incomplete, last updated May 2021]

Part 3 of Inked Truths

Andrew is in South Carolina with Aaron; California and its dangers finally behind them. But between the pills and Tilda's violent mood swings, it's clear to Andrew that his twin still isn't safe. He knows no one else is capable of protecting him and that he can't lose him now. He's already given up everything for Aaron, so he offers his twin a deal.

Besides, with Abram missing, he really has nothing left to lose.

Part Two of 'Ink Stains and Paper Cuts' - I seriously recommend reading that before this one if you haven't already!

tw: violence, tw: nightmares, tw: blood & gore, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: child abuse, tw: drug addiction, tw: car accident, tw: minor character death, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: withdrawal

Different Names for Different People by circe_violets [Rated T, 22781 words, incomplete, last updated Feb 2021]

“I need to speak to Andrew Minyard. Is he here?”

Andrew could almost hear the gears in Nicky’s brain whirring and coming to a rest at completely the wrong conclusion. “Ah, I’m afraid you don’t want to pick that fight, cutie like you are. Trust me, he has knives on him, I wouldn’t-“

Nicky didn’t get to finish his sentence, because the man shoved past him and into the room. Andrew was on his feet in an instant with one of those very knives out, mentally running through every fight he’s had recently, every threat he’s noted around campus, assessing the man in front of him for weapons and threats- and stops short.

Abram had changed, in the last four years. He’d filled out- not much, but he no longer looked like a child. Blue eyes, he noted- unfamiliar, like the rest of this new image, but still part of a face Andrew had never been able to forget.

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: scars, tw: nightmares

Where No One Knows Your Name by Leahelisabeth (fortheloveofcamelot) [Rated G, 5531 words, complete, Andreil Week 2019]

Abram buries his mother on the beach and then he runs. He doesn't get far.

(Andrew met Neil before PSU AU) by @stellamai [tumblr, 2017]

Andrew had a problem.

There was a new boy in his class - he’d shown up in the middle of October with no warning - and Andrew was, for lack of better judgement, intrigued.

tw: implied/referenced abuse

andreil meet in juvie by @aledethanlast [tumblr, 2017]

As an apology for being so depressing with the political stuff I’ve reblogged: au where Neil and Andrew met in juvie

tw: (faked) suicide

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buriedinbaltimore · 3 years

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I’ve seen some more discussion on Kevin being morally gray lately, specifically in these posts from palmett-hoes here and i-did here

Kevin was not only a victim, but also a participant in the fucked up hierarchy and abusive culture of the Nest. He benefited from his position as Riko’s second and one of the “sons of exy”. He didn’t have the power to stop or change anything, but that doesn’t make him less accountable for his part in it.

I think this concept is something that the books illustrate beautifully with the post-Drake confrontation between Andrew and Neil.

Neil was just trying to help Nicky out by getting Andrew to agree to dinner. He had no way of knowing or even suspecting what would happen. But Andrew still points out that his actions led to the attack.

And Neil turns around and points out that Andrew didn’t stop Drake from preying on other kids. Andrew was in juvie, he tried to get Luther to stop Cass from taking in more kids, he did what all he thought he could at the time. And yet, he still has some responsibility.

When someone asked Nora about that exchange she points out;

Andrew understands the difference between assigning blame & blaming someone. He can tell Neil You had a hand in this without meaning You did this to me. He isn’t holding Neil personally accountable for what happened to him, but that doesn’t mean Neil didn’t play some part in the tragedy.

So back to Kevin, I think it is important to consider how his time in the nest and everything it entailed affected him and at the same time not dismiss or forget where he might have had a hand in things. Because I don’t think Kevin will ever be able to forget, and it’s as much a part of his character as all his other trauma.

We get tiny glimpses in canon of Kevin dealing with it. After Renee rescues Jean, Neil convinces Kevin to talk to him by reminding him;

"You already walked away from him once knowing what Riko would do to him in your absence. Don't do it again. If you don't protect him now, his death is on you."

Later in that scene Neil tells Kevin that he is more afraid of losing everything than the consequences that may come from holding on.

"I don't understand." "You do, or you wouldn't have trusted Andrew and Coach in the first place. Problem is you put yourself in their hands and refused to commit any further than that. You think Riko will hurt you for your defiance, so you're afraid to step too far out of line. But this middle ground won't save you forever.”

Kevin survived in the Nest by managing to stay in that middle ground, he protected people when he could*, but he never defied Riko. He was there for everything Riko did to Jean, he stood by Riko’s side through all of it. It wasn’t his choice, and he couldn’t have stopped it without risking his own safety, but he was there. Now that he is no longer in the Nest he needs to come to terms with his past or else he’ll never be able to move forward.

*so I inferred this from one line in canon that always intrigues me but I’ve never seen discussed. My thoughts on it kinda tie into the discussion of Kevin being morally gray, and since we’re already here…

After Kathy’s show, Riko is telling Kevin he should get rid of Neil and Kevin says he as potential (this is before Riko knows who Neil really is). Riko responds with;

"You said that goalkeeper had potential and then wrote him off as useless when I offered him to you. You'll get bored of this one just as quickly. Believe me."

Which I take to mean that after Andrew refused to join the Ravens, Riko offered to do something to force Andrew to sign, and Kevin called him off. There are so many ways that could be interpreted, but I tend to believe his reasons were because

A) Kevin really believed it wouldn’t be worth it to them. Andrew’s strength of character, stubbornness, and lack of care for his own well being would have made it nearly impossible to break him into playing the way they’d want him to. (Kevin would have figured that out from the research they did on him & their meeting)

and

B) Kevin was trying to protect Andrew from whatever Riko planned. He already had to witness all the cruelty and abuse that Riko put Jean and the other Ravens through, but Kevin had no control over that. Jean was property and the Ravens had all signed up for the team and could theoretically quit at any time. He was the one who wanted to recruit Andrew, Andrew didn’t want to join, so if Riko forced him on to the team it would be all because of Kevin, and any abuse Andrew would face would be Kevin’s fault.

Now it would be easy to focus on B, Kevin’s guilt and compassion, because A is a cold-hearted calculation about Andrew’s value. In a cost-benefit analysis of the effort it would take to get Andrew’s playing up to scratch and how much it would actually improve the team, it’s not worth it for the Ravens to put so much into one player. Kevin writes him off as a waste, unusable to him. Seems pretty cruel for a man who later promised to give Andrew’s something to build his life around.

But, if Kevin didn’t have that understanding of both Andrew’s strength and potential, he never would have trusted him to protect him. He wouldn’t have believed that Andrew could stand up to Riko, and possibly more importantly, he wouldn’t have had something to work towards after Riko broke his hand. Because while it may not have been worth it to whip Andrew into shape for the Ravens, the difference Andrew’s talent made to the Foxes was huge. Kevin latches on to Andrew’s potential as his own way back to exy. The other Foxes weren’t worth his time, but Andrew was.

If all that is true, why even believe that Kevin cared about Andrew at all? He was just using him for his own gain, right? Well, first, when Kevin called Riko off he had no reason to believe that he would ever need Andrew’s help. He went to PSU for Wymack, not Andrew, and their deal and everything that came after pretty much came down to right-place right-time kismet.

At the time Riko made the offer, it probably was less about Andrew as a person and more about Kevin not wanting to feel responsible for putting anyone else in Riko’s sights. We saw with Kevin’s reactions to Neil how he could be caring and compassionate and even to a degree self-sacrificing. When he finds out the truth about who Neil is, he tells him to run away and save himself, even though that would cost the Foxes the season, in which case he would be extremely vulnerable to going back to Edgar Allen. When Neil comes back from winter break he offers to talk about his experience with him. And even in the scene this is all about, after Kathy’s show, Riko goes to grab Neil and Kevin stops him, getting elbowed in the face before Andrew shows up.

Without considering both A and B, you don’t get a full picture of Kevin’s character.

#i feel like im missing something #its 4am i really shouldnt post this without sleeping then proof reading it but oh welll #i have lots more thoughts about Kevin and Andrew and their friendship and deal #but some other time #jes.post #aftg #kevin day #do i want this in the tag? probably not...#jes go to bed

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honestlyzenoouh · 3 years

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Aaron Goes Big Instead Of Home (And Poor Kevin Dies A Bit Inside)

This fic is also on AO3 if you prefer to read over there :)

This was all Neils fault, 100% the little assholes fault. It was a simple bet, a very small one indeed. The fact that Neil even agreed to the bet, should have tipped Aaron off from the very start. But sadly, Aaron is nothing but a salty bitch when it comes to Neil, and the fact the bet involved his brother was even better. He could kill two, no actually tree birds with one tiny victory. Convince his brother that his relationship with Neil was nothing but loveless sex, prove Neil wrong whilst also getting to humiliate him. Win win win.

Teeny tiny flaw in his plan though. Neil won. Neil actually got Andrew to casually display relationship like PDA. With Andrew initiating. Holding hands, kisses goodbye, softly touching hips to get by each other, the whole shebang. Fuck. Damnit. Crap. He wasn’t suppose to readily showcase his emotions towards Neil, he was suppose to prove to both Aaron and himself that the relationship was a fad, and let it fizzle out like his and Katelyns. Okay, he might have been a little bit bitter, as well as the usual annoyance Neil brings out in him, when he made the bet. Whatever.

So here Aaron stood, almost exactly six months after the bet started, in Katelyn’s bathroom just looking at the offending clothes. Katelyn and him might have broken up, but they still consider each other their platonic soulmates. The sex kinda spelled that out for them, not really enjoyable for either of them. Katelyn found out she definitely was on the asexual spectrum, where sex was only enjoyable for her sometimes. When they first got together she had laid all the cards on the table, and told him her feelings about sex, and Aaron had been very understanding and patient with her. It took a long time for their relationship to turn physical, other than the casual kissing and hand holding, and in the two and a half years they had been together, actual sex had only happened a handful of times. And only one of those times had been somewhat satisfactory for both of them.

It was after the last time they had sex, one of the worse experiences for both of them, that Katelyn suggested they might be right for each other. Aaron had wanted to argue with her, wanted to be hurt she would say such a thing, but Aaron had been having the same thoughts for a while before. Because while Katelyn might be asexual, Aaron sure as fuck wasn’t. He got urges and fantasies, and whilst he understood Katelyn didn’t, he also knew it wasn’t her fault they weren’t clicking right sexually. So they mutually decided that they might be better of as best friends instead of partners, but weren’t ready to tell people. Katelyn wasn’t ready to come out, and Aaron would like to keep his pride and not be pitied.

(The sexual identity crisis that sprung forwards in Aaron when he actually realized that it was not only Katelyn that didn’t find pleasure in their sex life is not to be spoken about. Internalized homophobia and too much alcohol doesn’t mix, too many tears, understanding Nickys, and not nearly enough answers. Whatever, he has time to figure it out when the time is right.)

The uniforms material felt way too heavy in his hands, considering it was only a two piece, yet it was surprisingly soft. He guessed that’s what happens if you actually use fabric softener, but what was he suppose to know? He didn’t care enough about his clothes to spend the extra cash on that shit. Katelyn does though, or whoever she borrowed the clothes from did.

He shifted the fabric around his fingers and actively considered forfeiting his dare. However the mere thought of letting Neil win even more, made him visible recoil and slightly nauseas. Fuck that, a thousand times over. A simple knock on the door and a voice asking if he was okay in there, got him out of his staring contest with the outfit, and mumble something even he wasn’t sure what meant.

Taking a deep breath he finally shimmed out of his pants, and pulled the undergarment of the uniform on. A bit shorter than he was used to, but not too bad. Taking off his hoodie and replacing it with the top, made it all a bit much, and way too real. He’s gonna lose his dignity as well as his masculinity to this. The bright orange Vixens uniform sat tight against his chest, but flowed nicely the rest of the way down. Turning a bit this way and that, he got to study his whole body. His ass which normally was kinda flat, popped a bit with the skirt accentuating its shape flatteringly. His shoulder and biceps got the same treatment with the tanktop’s broad straps. So maybe not all masculinity is lost to this. Gathering a bit of his spite for Neil, and general courage, he finally unlocked the door. Finding his last fucks to give after a couple of more moments, he also opened the door. Luckily, it was only Katelyn waiting for him. She moved her head from her phone and smiled from her upside down position on the couch.

“You good?” She simply asked him. Kneading the fabric of the skirt, and pulling at it a bit he nodded.

“As good as I’m gonna get, wearing a skirt because of a stupid fucking bet. I’m so stupid.” Pulling a bit more on the skirt, he looked around. “Where are the others? I just really wanna get this over and done with” Katelyn helpfully pointed downward, hopefully meaning Fox Towers third floor and not the parking lot. Sighing and looking at her with tense shoulders, a question all by it self, she only raised an eyebrow and gave him a look. Obviously not the parking lot, who did he think she was? A monster? Him lifting one of his now unclenched shoulders, no, but you do enjoy to slightly bullying me, so why not. Katelyn snorted and finally got up from the couch.

“I thought about it, not going to lie to you, but your face when I gave you the uniform made me reconsider. You looked like a kicked puppy, it was so sad.” Aaron grunted to make his displeasure know, but followed her to the front door. He only hesitated a bit going through, so little only people who really knew him would realize. Luckily, (or unluckily, depending on how you view it) Katelyn was one of those very few people, and she put an arm around his shoulders for comfort. Together they walked the short way to stairs and down the two flights from fifth to the third floor, thankfully without running into anyone. The hallway of the third floor also blessedly empty, gave Aaron a false sense of fortitude. Holding on to it, until it became as genuine as it’s gonna be, he looked up to Katelyn, “Which room?”

After a quick glance at her phone, she nodded towards the upperclassmen’s room. Great, so Neil roped the whole team together to witness this. Fucker. Shaking off the rest of his nerves, he shrugged off Katelyn’s arm and walked up to the door. Opening and stepping inside made his heart start pounding, but nothing happened. Literally nobody was even looking at him, or acknowledging his presence at all. All eyes seem to be on his twin, currently laying face down on the floor. “This is the worst day of my life” came muffled from the floor. Looking from face to face, Aaron finally made eye contact with someone. Sadly that someone was Neil.

Raising an eyebrow at him, Aaron silently dared him to comment. Unable to backdown, Neil did just that. “Okay Minyard, that’s a bit low, even for you” Nodding towards Aarons chest area whilst he said so, made Aaron look down at the v-neck. Sure it was a bit deep, considering his lack of boobs, but it wasn’t that bad. The v stopped at about the middle of his chest, pale blond hairs exposed to world for once. Bracing himself once again for all the attention that was bound to come his way, now that Neil had spoken to him, he took another step into the room, Katelyn right behind him. But still, all eyes except for Neils’ were on his twin as an unenthusiastic “fuck you” came from the floor. This time it was Neil that raised an eyebrow, want to make a game of this? Aaron nodded once, intrigued with this whole situation.

“Seriously A, isn’t this a bit over the top?” Neil gestured a bit with his hands, presumably meaning the Vixens uniform. Fair question, when the forfeit only specified a skirt. But Aaron kinda lived by go big or go home, and when he asked Katelyn if he could borrow a skirt, and the only thing she had he would be able to fit in was the uniform he said fuck it. To answer Neils question he nodded towards Katelyn, who gave a tiny wave. A look of understanding crossed his face when an answer came from the floor. “This is a perfectly reasonable reaction” This startled a laugh out of Nicky, and made Kevin look up from Andrew towards Neil. When he saw him looking nowhere near Andrew he followed Neils eyesight and caught sight of Aaron. His eyes widened and he stood stock still, but not a noise or word passed through him. Aaron didn’t get the time to analyze that particular reaction, as Neil once more spoke up.

“Right, sure. Kevin, what is your take on the situation? I mean, he only lost a bet, isn’t that a bit overly dramatic?” The mischievous grin he wore didn’t bore well for Aaron. He knew something Aaron didn’t, that fucker. When all Kevin seemed able of answering was a stuttery mess, the foxes finally shifted their attention away from Andrew, most likely to laugh at Kevins inability to talk. Yet, once they saw Kevins now slightly awed expression, and both his and Neils direction of sight, they subsequently came to look in Aarons direction.

What followed was probably the most awkward five seconds of Aarons life. It started as a stunned silence, which was broken by Kevin sadly saying “This is a very bad time to have an identity crisis.”, after that all hell seemed to break loose. Nicky and Allison were actively trying to get Kevin to elaborate on that, and close some bets for them. Matt and Dan were looking at each other, and then at Aaron seemingly trying to work out how best to approach the situation. The new foxes tried to gently blend into the background and disappear with no luck. Only Renee was brave enough to face him. “Hello Aaron, I like your outfit. Is this a new thing we might see more often?”

The innocent question floored Aaron for a bit, and shut the foxes up again. Sure he was still trying to figure out his sexuality, but his gender identity was never a question for him. But now that he was thinking about it, he didn’t actually mind wearing the skirt. Sure it wasn’t completely comfortable, but it was a sports uniform. His own was made of the same kinda fabric and had the same feel, so he was use to that. But if he found a more modest skirt in more comfortable fabric, he didn’t think he’d mind it all that much. I did make his ass pop. Really thinking about that fact made his brain momentarily shut down. Once rebooted he looked Renee in the eyes and answered

“I don’t, I don’t think so? I mean, I’m not sure? It might? Can I get back to you on that one?” Trying to be more open with foxes had been a thing he’s been working on as a new years resolution, but here two months later, it was still really hard. Admitting that hurt a little. Shifting his attention towards Neil again he suddenly realized something. “You didn’t tell them did you?”

“No, I didn’t actually think you would go through with it.” He shrugged his shoulders and smirked at Aaron

“Tell us what?” Came from floor. Andrew had finally decided to join the conversation, apparently. He had only turned his face from directly down, to towards Aaron at the door. He didn’t seem too judgmental, only a bit confused. Ever since Bee had finally convinced Andrew to try a new type of medication, to treat his bipolar disorder and depression, Andrew had become a whole new person. A much more readable person, but you still can’t be a 100% sure with him.

“I made a bet with Neil, and obviously lost. So my punishment was to go out of my comfort zone in the clothes department, considering and I quote; I bitch so much about his. I thought a skirt was the most out there for me. Why are you lying on floor?” Ah, the dreaded communication they needed to better. They were getting there, albeit slowly. Bee helped a lot.

“Andrew got cocky about his biceps, and Matt challenged it with an arm wrestle match. As you can probably guess, Andrew lost.” Dan cheerfully informed from beside Matt, who looked rightfully smug. This made Andrew turn downwards agin and groan sadly. “I benchpress more than any of you” was spoken into the floor. This made the foxes laugh once more. Aaron shuffled a bit from foot to foot, and made the tactful decision to leave with all the focus on his brother. He technically did do the forfeit after all. Get out of his comfort zone and show at least 4 different foxes. Whether it was individually or in a group was up to him.

When he got to his room and about to close the door, he got stopped by a hand on the frame. A very uncomfortable looking Kevin was the owner of said hand. He opened and closed his mouth a couple times, and took a big breath, but didn’t say anything. He then got into motion and just walked into the room. Well then. “What do you want Kevin?” Crossing his arm across his chest, Aaron “patiently” awaited an answer.

“Go on date. Me with. I mean, uuuhhh” Aaron’s brain shut down once more, and this time the reboot apparently took a little too long, because when he refocused in on Kevin once more the man was fidgeting. Which wasn’t something Aaron had ever seen him do. What the fuck was happening here? Was Kevin actually asking him out? And more importantly, why was he asking him out? As far as Kevin was concerned, him and Katelyn was still happily together. He tried to come up with an answer, but Kevin’s flickering eyes threw him off. They kept going from his face to the skirt and then landing on the v neckline. It was almost a pattern. His eyes went from the skirt to his face again when he suddenly spoke up again.

“You need to change. I just. I can’t think, and I really want to talk to you, because I overheard Nicky one time, but I don’t really know if it was just Nicky being Nicky or if it’s actually true. I did ask him but he shut down and wouldn’t even look at me for three days after, so I don’t know for sure. So can you make me think? I mean change. Pl- if you could be as kind.”

Aaron thought he nodded before he turned and walked in to the dorms bedroom, but he honestly wasn’t sure. So many thoughts swirled around in his head, made it hard to concentrate on getting changed. Had Nicky really been so careless he accidentally outed him? It was with Nicky he had had his sexuality revelation and cry with, that cursed night after a Trip to Eden.

It had been a few weeks after Katelyn and him had called it off relationship wise, and Aaron had been having these weird feelings and his mind kept supplying him with these random observation. Objectively speaking, your Chemistry 102 TA is attractive. His sharp cheekbones and plumb lips are attractive features to have. The boy sitting across from you smells nice, wonder what cologne he uses? The man behind the counter at the coffee shop had really nice eyes. They were a warm brown you could get a little lost in.

He had just crossed the doorway into the house when the thought hit him. What if the reason that sex with Katelyn wasn’t satisfying for him, wasn’t because of the fact that Katelyn was asexual and weren’t as in to it as he was, but because she was a girl? What if the reason he seemingly couldn’t have as good an orgasm with a partner then alone, was because he had the wrong gendered partner. He had had earlier girlfriends in high school, both before and after Andrew had arrived, but he always seemed to excuse the bad sex as inexperience. But what if it wasn’t?

That had floored Aaron completely, and he had taken a stuttered breath and stumbled to the couch so he could sit down. Nobody seemed to pay him any mind, hopefully just chalking it up to drunken behavior, not the life revelation it had been. Neil and Andrew hadn’t been drinking that night, and they wasted no time bringing their things up to Andrew’s bedroom to go to bed. Kevin had stayed at Palmetto to spend the weekend with his father, but Nicky had bargained with Andrew for them to go to Columbia anyway, and gotten his way somehow. (Aaron hadn’t asked, didn’t really want to know.) When they arrived at Eden he had all but begged Aaron to drink with him. So Aaron had matched him drink for drink, and actually had a good time. He even danced a bit with a random person with a pixie cut and let a little loose.

He hadn’t realized the tears gathering, nor the way his breathing had picked up until Nicky appeared out of nowhere sitting down next to him. He had swirled his head to look Nicky in the eyes, and the easy going smile he had on his face died when he saw Aaron’s face. He must have looked terrified because Nicky sounded completely sober when he spoke,

“Aaron are you okay? What’s wrong? Did something happen at Eden? Should I go get Andrew?” The more he spoke, the faster the words spilled out and the more panicked he sounded. Aaron tried to draw in a breath to answer him, but it got stuck in his throat so he just shook his head desperately. He really didn’t want to include Andrew too, and rather die than include Neil. Nicky had nodded his head, but still looked at him worriedly. When he finally mastered the art of breathing again he blurted out what he should have said ages ago, even before his little revelation.

“I’m sorry Nicky, I’m so sorry” He crumbled while he said it, and his head had landed in Nicky’s lap. The tears had started to fall about halfway through his apology and he didn’t predict them to stop anytime soon. But neither did the muttered apologies, I’m so sorry spoken softly into Nicky’s thigh. Nicky was bordering on hysteric at that point, franticly petting his hair and seemingly answering Aaron’s apologies

“It’s okay, I forgive you! I don’t really know what you’re apologizing for, but it can’t be that bad! Sure, you’re kinda an asshole, but you’re apologizing so you’re not that big of one. Why do you keep apologizing? It’s okay, I’m right here. Whatever you did I’m always gonna be in your corner, so please stop crying I don’t know what to do! How can I help? If you don’t calm down I’ll have to go get Andrew because I really don’t know how to help you if you don’t speak to me, and I’m starting to get really worried now. Please talk to me.”

It was only when Nicky had started to shift around, as if trying to get up, that Aaron finally snapped out of it. He wrapped his arms tightly around Nicky’s legs and shook his head, turning around to look up at him with pleading eyes. Nicky had looked back at him, tears in his eyes as well and shifted once more. “I’m giving you two minutes to start explaining or I’m getting him. This will not go unspoken of, do you hear me Aaron? I’m pretty sure you’re having a mental break down or something, and you can’t keep that all inside. That is super unhealthy and can cau-“

“I think I might be gay” Nicky had gotten very quiet and still, just looking at Aaron and blinking rapidly. Aaron took a steadying breath and wiped his face free of tears, head still in Nicky’s lap. Figuring fuck it, I already said the hardest part he continued speaking, voice croaking making it deeper than normal.

“I don’t actually know, I just. I keep having these thoughts ever since Katelyn and I broke up, which we did like, a month ago, and I think my brain is just now connected the dots because apparently I’m fucking stupid, and can’t figure out that sex wasn’t as satisfying as regular masturbation, was not because the people I’m with are bad at it, but because they don’t have what I need. Or is it the bad thing and I’m only overanalyzing? The only thing I’m really sure of right now is the fact I’m a huge asshole for giving you and Andrew such a hard time for being gay, when I might be it too. That and apparently I find my chemistry TA hot, and like the way men smell and what is wrong with me?” Aaron sniffed and a few more tears fell from his eyes. They were starting to feel a bit sore now. Aaron had jumped when Nicky suddenly took a huge breath and whispered something that sounded like okay, you can do this. Making eye contact with his older cousin he got a small smile. He reached down wipe the last of the tears away, and began petting his hair again. Much more soothingly this time around.

“So this is a lot to unpack, so what do you say we take it in small bites hmm?” When all Aaron did was nod, he continued on, “So you and Katelyn broke up? Are you okay in regards to that?”

Aaron looked down at his hands, playing with his fingers but answered him, “Yeah, about a month ago. Maybe a little longer. It was an actual mutual decision, something we both felt needed to be done. We had a big fat discussion about our feelings and called it quits. We just aren’t ready to tell just yet. Might not for a while to be honest. She has some things to work through, and she’s my best friend so of course I’ll put it off for as long as she needs.” Shrugging his shoulders he looked up again.

“Okay then, I’m happy to hear you’re doing okay there. These… thoughts you mentioned, what exactly do you mean?” Wincing a little, Aaron had tried to clarify his brains jumbled observations. They sat on the couch talking about each and everything Aaron had been feeling and thinking about those past two months. Aaron found that Nicky could be surprisingly quiet and understanding, and that it was really cathartic to talk about it all. So apparently Aaron could see the attractiveness about guys, but he didn’t know if he wanted to date them. Kissing had crossed his mind once or twice, but quickly shut down because he wasn’t ready to think about it.

The last thing Aaron had asked of Nicky before they went to bed that night, a few hours later, was that he kept quiet. He wasn't ready to explore his sexuality, let alone come out. Nicky had given him an understanding smile and sighed out of course.

A knock on the door startled Aaron out of his memory and into the present again. Shrugging his hoodie over his head he decided to just get it over and done with. Fucking Kevin sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. When he was fully dressed once more, he walked over to the door and ripped it open.

"What do you want Kevin?" He said maybe a little too forcefully. Kevin had moved away from the door, and was sitting at the couch Matt had supplied the living room with. He gestured to the other end where he was sitting. Sighing to make his displeasure known, he got to the couch and plopped down. Looking over at the other boy he repeated his question, a bit more mellow this time. Kevin was sitting with his legs curled up under him, his right hand playing with the fabric of his pants.

"A date, ideally. With you, specifically." His face was set in a small smile, eyes sparkling hopefully. Aaron's heart sank a little, so Nicky had outed him. Accidental or not, that still shot a pang of panic and hurt through him. Before he could muster up the energy to answer him, Kevin continued,

"I don't actually know if you'd be interested, or even actually into boys. About three weeks ago, I overheard Nicky speaking to who I assume was Erik, considering he was speaking some german. He kept switching between english and german though, and going on a tangent about queerness being genetic, the twins, and breaking up with girlfriends. Never mentioning any names. So I don't- I'm not actually sure it was you he was talking about. I tried to ask him but he just shouted no, hung up the phone and all but ran away from me. He haven’t really spoken to me yet. I think he feels bad, because I overheard him.”

A feeling of relief spread through Aaron. Even though Nicky had spoken about their conversation from months ago, he had worded it so only people who knew Nicky intimately would have a clue. Or simply think he was talking about Andrew. Still feeling some of his earlier panic, Aaron opened his mouth to profusely deny deny deny, not at all ready to talk about his sexuality again, he remembered a tiny detail from Kevin’s explanation. If he had overheard Nicky three weeks ago, why in the world hadn’t he said anything? Either to him or the others? Closing his mouth again, Aaron tried to calculate what would happen if he “came out” to Kevin. He wasn’t even sure what the ever-loving fuck he was, other than not straight, but if Kevin had held tight for those three weeks maybe he would for however long it took for Aaron to figure it out. One small parentheses made the equation hard though. Kevin’s apparent desire to date Aaron. Aaron might not be the best at math, but a huge glaring pair of parentheses in an equation needed to be addressed first, in order to solve said equation. Right? Aaron’s pre-med not a simple math major, how was he supposed to know?

“Why?” It had slipped out of Aaron’s lips without permission, but he really needed to know before they got any further in this equation. Why now? Why him? Kevin furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly, apparently not getting Aaron’s question. Aaron elaborated his inner thoughts, and the questions made Kevin pause. A slight flush rose across his cheeks, but it didn’t take long for him to gather his thoughts, only a shake of his head.

“So, I’ve been talking to Bee right? In the process of becoming sober” Aaron nodded, not really in the mood to actually talk right now. Luckily, Kevin continued on.

“Okay, so. She hasn’t just been helping me getting sober, also just. Better? In general. We have been talking trough my growing up, and Riko and Andrew. Just. Everything I guess. It made me realize some things, and she has been encouraging me to do something about it. I haven’t wanted to, until three weeks ago, where I heard I might have an actual chance.” He shrugged his shoulders, now looking down at his lap, really focusing on the piece of fabric between his fingers. Aaron’s mouth went a little dry at that implication, not that he really knew why.

He thought all bravery had left his body, after having to endure his forfeit, but apparently not because he felt himself reaching his right hand across and over Kevin’s left. It made him start and look up at Aaron. Sitting there with his hand over Kevins made him feel the same sense of fuck it, as he had with Nicky all those weeks ago. So throwing caution into the wind, he unstuck his tongue from the roof of his mouth, and asked what he thought was the most pressing matter.

“What did you realize?” Kevin’s face went from flush to straight up red, but he kept his eyes locked with Aaron.

“Apparently it is possible to admire people of the same sex aesthetically, and not just because of their exy skills. And that I find your personality and general body incredibly attractive.”

Kevin’s voice had gone down an octave, and the sound of it sent a shot of something, through his stomach. The very same something he has been feeling pertaining his chemistry TA lately. Great, now he also found fucking Kevin hot. Not that that might be a problem with Kevin considering the resent confession. Though now that he really thought about it, Kevin really is an attractive person. He has sharp cheek bones, but his green eyes softens his face up, so he doesn’t look so severe. His nose is slightly upturned, but with a tiny bump on the bridge, which is something Aaron hadn’t noticed before. Wonder where he got it from? Exy most likely. His thighs has the same kind of muscle definition that Katelyn has, which is something Aaron has always found arousing.

He should probably say something though, instead of just mindlessly looking at Kevin. The poor dude looked about one breath away from a minor break down. He shook his head to clear it from his Kevin related epiphany.

“Fuck it okay, all cards on the table?” He gestured with his left hand, just now noticing his right still laying over Kevins. When he got a hesitant nod from him, he continued on now determined.

“I don’t actually know what I am, other than maybe not straight. Katelyn and I are broken up yes, but we haven’t actually told anyone. Not ready yet” A slight flush rose across his own cheeks when he thought about his next admission, “And I kinda find you aesthetically pleasing as well.”

A small smile spread across Kevin’s face and he opened his mouth, but Aaron cut him of before any words could come through. “But! But, I really don’t know what that means. And I don’t think it’s fair for you, if I didn’t make that abundantly clear first. Your face is attractive, I think, and I know you enough to feel safe maybe starting a thing with you. Just, some minor things before you ask me again?”

Kevin nodded his head quickly and opened his mouth again, but once again Aaron cut him off before he could speak. “Okay so one;” He held a finger up on the hand not holding Kevin’s.

“I’m nowhere near ready to tell people about anything related to my sexuality, so if we do this. It’d have to be in complete secret,” Another finger joined the first one and he went on. “Two, we’d have to take it slow. I don’t know what I’m comfortable with, or how far I’m willing to go, so you’d need to be patient with me. Possibly really patient with me.”

He raised a third finger to go with his last bit.

“And lastly but most important, you need to tell me if things isn’t working for you anymore. I know I come with a lot of rules and regulations, but I need to figure out if this is really for me. You feel safe enough for me to try with specifically, but if that ever ends up not being enough for you, you tell me. Immediately. That is very important to me. If there is one thing my relationship with both Katelyn and Andrew have taught me anything it is honesty is super important. Well, and consent but you know Andrew too so of course you know that. Okay, you can talk now.” He unfurled his hand, and waved it at Kevin’s to demonstrate his point. Kevin looked a little shell shocked after being loaded with all that information, and he took a moment but finally he spoke, his small smile lighting up his eyes.

“Yeah, I can work with that.”

It was spoken softly, and it took Aaron an extra two seconds to realize what Kevin meant. He still wanted to “date” Aaron, even with all these rules. And he had not seen that coming, expecting Kevin to give up and find someone new to pester about dating. He hadn’t really taking his stubbornness into consideration, which really was an oversight on Aaron’s part, and predicted this would happened.

“Ask me again.” He challenged him, a small part of him still excepting him to not go through with it. And by now, Aaron kinda really wanted to go on this gay adventure with Kevin.

Kevin’s smile grew in size, and made a dimple appear in his right cheek, another thing Aaron hadn’t noticed Kevin do(had, could?), and he shifted closer to Aaron. He shifted his left hand so they were holding hands, rather than Aaron holding Kevins, and took hold of his right hand as well, placing both in his lap. Aaron could feel his cheeks warming up, but didn’t hinder his movements.

“Would you like to go on a date with me? And maybe hold a little hands with me? That’s all I ask for now, and we can figure adjustments out as we see fit in the future. And secrecy is okay with me at the moment, and I promise to tell you if I change my mind.”

Aaron’s whole upper body felt warm now, most likely a blush, but he also felt surprisingly excited. This had suddenly turned into a thing Aaron really wanted to explore. Mirroring Kevin’s smile he answered, feeling confident in his mental math. This equation wasn’t so hard to solve as the first one.

“Yeah okay, I think I’d really like that”

Part 1 of “Aaron Tries His Best”

1 - 2(coming soon)

#kevaaron #andreil #besties Aaron and Katelyn #Kevin Day #Aaron Minyard #Nicky Hemmick #all for the game #all for the gay #aftg #zenoouh writes #Neil Josten #Andrew Minyard

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knox-knocks · 4 years

Text

a hunger inside

an among us au >:) tw: death and violence (no foxes die, only ocs)

read it on ao3

Andrew finds him in the hallway, attempting an escape through the vent in the floor. Andrew’s eyes flick to the corner of the room where the camera is, but it is dark and lifeless, no blinking red light to indicate that someone is watching. Of course, that is why Andrew chose to linger in this part of the ship, after all. No one is ever watching these cameras, so he is free to smoke his cigarettes in peace.

“The vents, huh?” he says and leans against the cool metal wall of the ship and lights the cigarette. He’s almost out. As soon as his job here is done, he’ll have to stop by the closest pit stop for another pack.

Orange jumps at the sound of Andrew’s voice, twisting around in the tiny space the vents allow. It’s not much bigger than him, and he has to wiggle through in order to get out. Andrew watches him, cigarette forgotten between his fingertips, and takes note of the dark red staining his orange space suit, seeping into the fabric.

Andrew tips his head and behind Orange he can see two feet sticking out from the darkness, dripping the same red liquid that’s currently splashed all over him. Andrew is no idiot, and it doesn’t take a genius to know that the liquid is blood and the legs belong to a dead man.

“Faster way to get around,” Orange – Josten, he remembers – says after a tense pause. Andrew can’t see his expression past the dark screen of his visor, instead his own unimpressed face is reflected back at him, distorted in the curve of the helmet.

Andrew has never seen the man underneath the orange suit. He’s been aboard the Space Enterprise for a couple months now and hasn’t so much as taken off his helmet. Which wasn’t a cause for alarm – not at first – because technically it was a rule that you had to be wearing your space suit at all times in case of emergencies, though no one actually did. Except for Josten.

What struck Andrew as strange was that Josten didn’t take it off even to eat. In fact, Andrew has never seen him eat with the others in the cafeteria, not once, in the months since he’s joined the crew.

“I suppose you’re the one the others are worrying about, then,” Andrew says and takes a drag off his cig before it dies. “The imposter.”

“You’re not supposed to smoke in here,” Josten says, neatly dodging the question. His voice is staticky over the mic, more artificial than human.

Andrew looks past at the victim half-eaten by the darkness. Josten subtly shifts his weight, an unsubtle attempt to hide the body, but the damage is done and Andrew has already seen it.

“I won’t tell if you don’t,” Andrew says. He stares at where he thinks Josten’s eyes should be, and meets his own even expression instead.

Josten doesn’t move so Andrew sighs and pushes up from where he’s leaning against the wall. Josten’s back straightens, and he makes an abortive move, as if reaching for a weapon. Said weapon must still be stuck in whatever poor sap whose blood saturated the floor, because Josten’s hands remain empty, and Andrew unstabbed.

“Go get cleaned up,” Andrew says and stubs out his cigarette against his fatigues. The ashes smear against the black fabric, near invisible. “I’ll cover for you.”

“Why?” Josten says in that robotic voice of his.

“Because now you owe me one,” says Andrew.

“I thought we were even.” Josten mimes a movement reminiscent of raising a cigarette to his mouth, a clumsy mimicry in his bulky suit. “‘I won’t tell if you don’t.’”

“Yes,” Andrew says. “But now I’m covering for you as well. So you owe me.”

It is eerie, the way Andrew can’t see his face to read his reactions, and wonders if this is how his crewmates feel about him. Andrew, always so tightlipped and apathetic, even when the crew started getting picked off one by one. He didn’t join up too much longer after the others, but he’d picked up on their unease almost immediately. Andrew doesn’t care though; he isn’t here to make friends. He is here to do his job.

Josten is the first to break. He turns, stiff, and walks down the hall to the sleeping chambers. Andrew watches him go and waits a few more minutes to give him a bit more time. He’s not really sure why. He could have left when he saw Josten climbing into the vent and pretend he never saw the body, or he could have simply reported exactly what he witnessed.

But it often gets boring on the Enterprise, and perhaps Andrew is intrigued, maybe he wants to see where this goes. Plus, it might come in handy to have the resident murderer indebted to him.

Andrew reports the body over the comm link and makes his way to the cafeteria.

_ _

It was Green who was killed, though Andrew never bothered to learn the man’s real name. The remaining crewmates are dragged from their tasks to deliberate over the murder, while Andrew watches over the chaos and waits for Josten to join them. In the end he points his finger at Red, who has no alibi except for her claim to be down in Navigation at the time of the murder. But the others do not listen and in their panic, they are quick to vote her out.

Her screams of terror and pleading are cut short by the hiss of the chamber door sealing shut. It is Yellow who slams the ejection button, and Andrew watches as Red is spat into the black vacuum of space. Yellow flinches when the air is forced out of her lungs and her blood boils in her veins, but Andrew does not.

Ten crewmates turn to eight in a day, and the others are soothed enough to go back to their assignments. At least until Andrew finds Josten stuffing Yellow’s crumpled form into one of the cupboards in Storage a few days later.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Andrew says smoothly, and Josten flips around, quite literally caught in the act. He’s still holding the knife, but he lowers it when he sees Andrew.

“I owe you two?” he says.

“One,” Andrew replies. Josten tips his head, a strangely animal action with the giant space helmet on. “I want your name.”

Josten hesitates.

“Your full name.”

“Neil,” he says slowly, as if trying it out. “Neil Josten.”

“Neil,” Andrew repeats, and he quite likes the taste of it on his tongue. It tastes a little of danger, like the iron-tang of blood. “Now show me your face, and we will be even.”

Neil is slow in taking off his helmet, and Andrew watches in rapt attention as the vents blow out a stream of oxygen and steam as the seals release and Neil twists the helmet off.

Andrew wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but Neil looks normal. At least, he has a nose and a mouth, and reddish-brown hair falling into his eyes. It’s as his gaze is tracking the movement of his auburn curls that Andrew spots the reason Neil was so hesitant to take off his helmet.

His eyes are a bright, crimson red, glittering and dark under the fringe of his hair. Undeniably alien.

Andrew takes a step forward and grabs Neil by the chin. He brings his face down closer to his own and moves it side to side, studying him. Aside from the eyes, his face is also marked by deep gouges and circular scars on either side of his face. He is very attractive, and Andrew feels a slow, tight pull in his navel. He would quite like to take this man apart, bit by bit. Neil is silent as he lets Andrew look his fill.

“There’s a vent in the corner of the room, to the left,” Andrew says, releasing Neil’s face. “I’d be quick if I were you.”

Neil narrows those red eyes of his before reattaching his helmet and following Andrew’s directions. He has the vent open and one leg in when he turns back and says, “Why do you never talk to any of the others?”

Andrew gives him a thin, close-mouthed smile and says nothing.

He doesn’t report the body. He lets Purple find it, and he and Neil meet the others in the cafeteria together. His suit his clean, no traces of the blood that had been previously splattered down his front. His helmet is on, but he’s not the only one hiding their face so no one mentions it.

“Minyard,” the man in the white suit says. Andrew is pretty sure his name is Folkson or Falkner or something. His face his pale, eyes stretched wide, and his lips tremble as he talks. He’s the oldest out of all of them, and has taken the helm. “Where were you?”

“With Josten,” Andrew says. “We were clearing out the oxygen tanks in O2.”

“That’s not usually a two-person job,” Lime says suspiciously.

Andrew levels a look at her. “It is if you do it properly.”

“We need to figure this out,” Cyan snaps, and Andrew wracks his brain for their name. He comes up blank. “We’ve been getting picked off for weeks and we still have no fucking clue as to why.”

“They might not be human,” Pink says in his quiet voice, thin as a thread. He clutches his gloves in his hands, turning them over and over. “What if this is a game to them?”

Andrew hedges a look toward Neil but he is still, silent.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Cyan says, and rolls their eyes. “We need to stay focused before we lose the mission.”

“You give a lot of orders and not a lot of answers,” Folkson or Falkner gripes.

“I could say the same for you,” Cyan replies coolly.

Andrew lets them bicker. He said his piece, and both he and Neil are cleared. After all, Pink saw them on the cameras, and they were no one near the body when Purple found it. In fact, no one was around, and soon the suspicion turns to Purple. Their pleas fall on deaf ears as they are locked in the ejection chamber and Cyan presses the button.

The others whisper around them, desperate prayers to a God that has no place in the depths of space. Let us be right, they murmur. Please, this time, let us be right.

_ _

The first time Andrew kisses Neil, they are in the showers and he has just scrubbed the last of Falkner’s blood off of him. Red turns to pink as it runs off of him, over the white tiles, and down the drain. Andrew knows someone will stumble across the body and report it soon, but he doesn’t care.

Neil’s voice is different when he’s not wearing the helmet, and so is his gasp when Andrew pushes him against the still-dripping wall and presses their mouths together in a bruising kiss. He has a grip on his t-shirt, one in his hair, and he angles their mouths together in a way that has Neil scrabbling against the wall for support.

“Andrew,” he says, and the sound is long, drawn out. Neil tips his head back against the wall and Andrew mouths at his neck, his skin warm from the blood pumping life through his body.

Neil is a killer, the imposter among them, but his skin still bruises and his body still reacts to Andrew’s touch. He kisses him, again and again and again, each one harsher than the last.

Andrew only pulls away when Neil’s tongue darts out to touch his bottom lip. He takes a step back. He needs to be more careful. He shouldn’t be letting Neil get close like this, it’s too dangerous. Too easy to slip up.

Neil’s eyes are blown, his cheeks flushed. “I think we should blame Lime,” he says, breathless.

Andrew presses another kiss to his mouth and resists the urge to sink his teeth into Neil’s lip. Dangerous.

Once under control, Andrew says, “There will be four of us left, after this.”

Neil nods, suddenly solemn. He almost looks regretful. He opens his mouth, closes it.

“Let’s go,” he says without meeting Andrew’s eyes, and Andrew has the feeling that he was going to say something else. Before he can ask, though, Neil is already pulling on his gear.

In the end, they can’t decide who to eject, and Lime is safe. For now.

_ _

“I didn’t do that one,” Neil says quietly, peering down at Lime’s twisted body at the bottom of the stairs. Her neck is broken, blonde hair falling over a face slackened by death, though still etched with fear. Andrew imagines her eyes widening, mouth opening in a scream as hands wrap around her throat, shoving her down the stairs. The image is not difficult to conjure.

“Must have tripped,” Andrew replies. He looks at Neil in the corner of his eyes, and a thrill goes through him when he sees the now-familiar bloodred of his gaze.

“I suppose we report this to the others,” Neil says the same moment Cyan enters the room with Pink in tow.

“Get away from him,” Cyan snarls, and it takes a moment for Andrew to realize that they’re talking to him. “He is the imposter. You – Orange.”

Desperation makes people clumsy, sloppy, and Andrew sees that they are very afraid. Neil looks alarmed – and extremely guilty standing over the body. Never mind Andrew was also caught red-handed, Cyan and Pink surround Neil and Neil only.

So they don’t suspect Andrew at all.

“You killed Gen,” Cyan says, voice shrill. They leap at Neil, and with Pink’s help they corner him against the wall as Andrew watches on. “And I’m willing to bet you were plotting to kill Black too. Lure him down and execute him here.”

“What of it?” Neil says through clenched teeth. Cyan has his arms pinned to his sides, and there is nowhere for him to go. They force him back, crowding him into the ejection chamber. Neil jerks in their grip, but Cyan holds tight. Pink grapples with the panel on the wall to open the door, but his shaking hands slide helplessly over the smooth panel. He finally finds a grip and gets the door open.

“Look at his eyes,” Pink cries. “I told you. I told you he wasn’t human.”

“Shut up,” Cyan grits and shoves Neil into the chamber. Neil struggles, bucking in a last-ditch effort to get out of Cyan’s grip, but it’s useless. They found their imposter, and now they’re going to kill him. His wide red eyes meet Andrew’s calm ones, and he rams his body into Cyan’s, desperate.

Cyan grunts at the impact and looks over their shoulder at Andrew. “Black,” They hiss. “Minyard, help – ”

Andrew smiles, revealing the rows of razor-sharp teeth he has so carefully hid from everyone until now. Pink sees it first and screams, but it’s cut off when Andrew lunges and sinks his fangs in his slender neck. Blood gushes into his mouth, and it tastes so sweet. Pinks chokes, hands fluttering ineffectually at his sides as Andrew tears out his throat.

Cyan watches with horror, but before they can do anything, Neil is already there, his arms wrapped around their neck. He forces their head back at such a steep angle that Cyan cries out in pain, and shakes them like a ragdoll. It is easy now that they have the element of surprise, and Neil snaps Cyan’s neck with ease. They slump to the ground and Neil stares at their body, chest heaving from the fight.

“You,” he says, still out of breath, eyes traveling up to Andrew’s. “You’re the other one.”

Andrew licks his lips, blood dripping from his face, his sharpened teeth, and Neil tracks the movement. “Yes,” he says simply.

Neil grins. “Good. I would have hated killing you.”

“You never would have gotten close.” Andrew steps over Pink’s still-twitching body and hooks his fingers in the thick collar of Neil’s space suit. “Yes or no?”

Neil’s eyes are dilated, black enveloping red. “You already know my answer,” he says, voice heavy.

Andrew’s grip on him tightens. “Say it anyway.”

“Yes,” Neil says and Andrew yanks him in for a fierce kiss. Neil makes a sound low in his throat, guttural, and Andrew swallows it. He’s sure he nicks Neil with his teeth now that he’s not so concerned about keeping them hidden, but Neil doesn’t seem to mind. He is happy licking the blood from Andrew’s lips.

Neil’s eyes flash red and Andrew’s teeth bare in a sharp smile. Game over.

#aftg #tfc #andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #mine #my writing

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whatmack · 4 years

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Imagine little Kevin Day. His mother just died a few years ago and he’s trapped in the big bad Nest, being surrounded by the darkness. And then little Nathaniel makes and appearance and it’s like a ray of sunshine made its way in the Nest and Kevin is so excited to have Nathaniel around and making plans for the future with him and promising him that they’re going to be Court, and then Nathaniel is gone, he’s disappeared and Kevin is crushed. 1/?

What happened? Where did he go? Didn’t he want to be friends anymore? He would ask the Master every day if he’s been found, but he stopped after the master slapped him in the face and told him to leave him alone with his aberration. And for years he would look in the newspaper and at the news to see if they’ve been found. He had Jean now, but Jean is not Nathaniel. He’s lost all hope after Riko crushed his hand. His only worry now was to stay alive. 2/?

He drinks and plays and fights and his mind is now far from Nathaniel and checking for him. At some point one thing lead to another and he falls for Andrew, and they kiss and they fuck, but he knows Andrew would not reciprocate. And then Neil Josten comes along and he’s so infuriating and interesting and he plays with everything he’s got and he’s got both of them intrigued. 3/?

And Neil’s real identity is discovered by Kevin and he feels like the ground have up from beneath his feet and was falling and falling and falling, but at the end he landed and he’s finally releasing a breath he’s been holding because Nathaniel is safe and he’s alive, but also an idiot for putting a target on his back. And Baltimore happens and he realises his intense his feelings have been for this trouble kid all along and how he couldn’t bear to lose him again. 4/?

My point is, Kevin Day has always been in love with Neil and he’s lost him and recovered him and he’s not letting go of him ever again. 5/5

I just, wonder so much what little 8 year old nathaniel wesninski was like....I wonder if kevin knew it was a tryout when they met? How often did this kind of thing happen? this is tetsuji still trying to build the ravens right, like kevin and riko were playing Exy before most people knew it existed, so it makes sense that there would be multiple tryouts

I imagine kevin not really getting the whole “sold to the moriyamas” thing and is like !! okay! hey this tryout kid is actually good!! he actually seems to CARE about the game!! and have skills! he wouldn’t have had, you know, many friends, so i imagine kev getting really excited to be friends with nathaniel but not knowing how to make friends so he awkwardly follows him around and talks at him (I wonder how pleased riko would’ve been at that...) It doesn’t make sense, to Kevin, to think of himself as separate from Exy. Neil is part of Exy. It doesn’t make sense, to Kevin, to think of a time he didn’t feel like this for Neil: it’s so much a part of him that it takes him a long time to figure out what to call it (On another note imagine Kevin having trouble understanding that Andrew loving being obessed with Neil isn’t the same as loving Exy. “How can you care about Neil and not Exy they’re part of each other?” “There’s so much there to unpack that I’m tired just hearing it”)

#its ok kev #Anonymous #kevineil #sometimes....your perception of love.......can be tied to a violent sport #andrew: kevin doesn't understand that Exy isn't what neil IS it's what neil DOES #bee: so like you and the times you've hurt people?#andrew: .....motherfucker #(also neil: but Exy IS who i is. am. kevin gets that tho)#alcohol /

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jemej3m · 4 years

Text

objection

because im now a law/crim student, this is all im gonna fuckin write about

anyway here’s andrew as neil’s defence attorney (totally inspired by @aymmidumps‘ amazing andrew here)

gruesome crime descriptions but neil’s not a butcher in this one

“Wesninki’s applying for an appeal,” was all Andrew heard from the minute he’d stepped into the office. It was all anyone could - and would - talk about.

Reasonably so, Andrew presumed. Nathaniel Wesninski had been locked up since his nineteenth birthday, when he slit his father’s throat. Andrew reckons he should’ve never been charged with murder, especially when considering his father was the Butcher of Baltimore, but Andrew had been just an undergraduate student at the time. There was nothing he could’ve done.

Now, though.

Now Andrew was just over thirty and steadily climbing the ranks. He hadn’t intended on becoming a defense attorney, but it just so happened that he was damn good at keep kids out of jail. The juvenile detention system was just a cog in the wheel of dysfunction, after all: he knew that first hand.

Survivors of violent assault who had killed their attackers were also common clients of Andrew’s. Those with mental illnesses and drug addictions found their way into his stack of case files, too. He’d always thought he’d be on the right side of the law, throwing shitty people in jail and fixing the system one day at a time.

This was alright too, he supposed.

“Hey, Minyard,” Boyd leaned against the door-frame of Andrew’s office. He had his own private space, unlike the others, who often shared offices with two or three of their colleagues. Andrew was just lucky. Or favoured.

“Let me guess,” Andrew said, without looking up from his file on a thirteen-year-old being charged with battery and theft. “Dan’s pissy because I didn’t turn up to dinner on Friday, there’s free coffee in the break room, Wesninski’s applying for appeal and Wymack wants me?”

“Uh,” Matt squinted. “Yes? How the hell did you guess?”

Andrew gave Matt a bored look. “You talk too loud. The walls are thin, you know.”

The man huffed, conflicted between being impressed and disgruntled at Andrew’s usual bitchiness. He simply threw his hands up and vanished from Andrew’s doorway, most likely to groan to his wife about how incorrigible Andrew seemed to be.

He threw his file onto his desk, locked his office door behind him and swung past the break room to dump three packets of sugar into a free latte. By the time he arrived at Wymack’s door, the man was already stood up, most definitely unimpressed by Andrew’s tardiness. And his lack of tie.

He did wear a tie to court. Most of the time.

“Nice of you to finally show up,” the old man grunted, tugging on the cuffs of his casual blazer. Andrew fucking hated blazers. They were always too tight around his shoulders. “I suppose you already know what this is all about?”

“Seeing as Allison, Robin and Renee have all tried to talk my ear off about it, yes. I’m aware Wesninski is trying for appeal.”

Wymack wasn’t impressed. “What you don’t know is that he’s come to us to represent him.”

Andrew paused. Now that was interesting. Nathaniel Wesninski was halfway between New York and Baltimore. Why the fuck would he recruit from seedy South Carolina? There was no viable reason, unless -

“Kevin,” he deduced. “How do they know each other?”

“Moriyamas and Wesninskis ran in the same circles, before it all got shut down.” Wymack arched a brow. “Wesninski figures that Kevin is the only person he can trust.”

“Kevin won’t do it,” Andrew shook his head. “He doesn’t touch anything Moriyama related with a ten-foot pole.”

“Wesninski knows that. Which is why he’s asked for you: Kevin passed him on.”

Andrew closed his eyes, very, very briefly, as he cocked his head at his boss. “You want me to get the most notorious gangster’s son out of jail.”

“At least have him commuted to manslaughter,” Wymack suggested.

At least, Andrew thought. He remembered looking over the Wesninski case in his third year. Nathaniel Wesninski had laughed, incredulous, as the FBI lead him away in handcuffs, nearly losing his fingers in an effort to cling onto the knife that he’d used to end Nathan Wesninski’s life.

That wasn’t manslaughter. That was homicide of the first degree, plastered over the front page of every newspaper the next day.

"You’ll owe me,” Andrew warned.

“I’ll cover your bar tab at the Foxhole for the rest of the year,” Wymack conceded.

Andrew huffed. “It’s February.”

Wymack arched an eyebrow.

Andrew had a feeling he’d regret this. He hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his slacks and rocked back on his heels, looking to the ceiling. “Fine.”

“It was an order, not a request,” Wymack grunted. “Get out of my office and get a visitation permit.”

Andrew, already fed up with a case he’d only just been assigned, turned on his heel and dutifully marched off.

The drive was nine and a half hours. Andrew could’ve made it a single-day round trip on a plane, but he refused to fly somewhere he could drive instead. He booked a half-hour slot with Wesninski on Saturday afternoon: if he found the man interesting enough, he’d bribe a guard to let him back in Sunday morning. Then he’d drive home, midday Sunday.

At least Wymack was letting him stay in a nice hotel in Philadelphia. It almost made the journey worth it, but he wouldn’t jump the gun. It would only be a worthwhile trip if he figured that Wesninski wasn’t hopeless. The man was just 29. It was nearly 10 years since he’d been locked up. Andrew’s chances were - practically slim to none.

Half-way through the drive Nicky called.

“Heard you’re going to see Wesninski,” he said, the phone somewhat masking Nicky’s obvious curiosity.

Andrew sighed. “Aaron needs to shut his mouth.”

“Aaron comes to family dinners,” Nicky objected. “He has every right to tell me whatever he wants. Speaking of - if I promise you a whole loaf of garlic bread, will you come to the next one?”

Andrew huffed. “I’m busy.”

“Yeah, yeah, you hate socialising, you’ll tolerate dealing with Aaron at work but nowhere else, blah blah. What about me? Your dear, old cousin?”

“Fine,” Andrew grunted. “Now, leave me alone.”

“Yes!” Nicky crowed, but whatever response he had after that was cut off. Andrew dropped his phone back in the passenger seat, turning the radio back up and relaxing into his chair.

It was a further five hours after that disturbance till his arrival at SCI Phoenix, Philadelphia. Andrew would always despise how depressing prison complexes looked. Chain link fences and brick boxes, splayed out like a progression of architectural failures. The parking lot was enormous and empty. Andrew parked far enough away that his nice car wasn’t in direct sight from the prison’s visiting entrance, fixing up his suit and tie and slinging the strap of his briefcase over his shoulder.

The guard by the door snapped his fingers for identification. Andrew flicked his license towards him, gaze deadened by boredom. The guard almost winced when Andrew sighed, looking to the clock. Once he was finally granted access, he took the lanyard and shoved his way through the doors.

Visitation was close to shutting up when Andrew arrived, miserable loved ones reaching for final hugs and brief kisses. Andrew was lead by the duty guard to a private room, waiting by the barred door.

Wesninski was already waiting for him inside. His hands were cuffed to the table, fiddling with a blunt key. His red curls were overgrown and messy, the grey jumpsuit hanging off his small frame.

When the door clanged shut, Wesninski looked up. His eyes were the most spectacular blue Andrew had ever seen, his face marred by horrific scars and the stitches used to hold him together. He looked ridiculously unimpressed. Andrew, meanwhile, smothered any flickers of emotion as intrigue sparked in his chest.

Damn, he thought.

“Unlock him,” Andrew said, to the guard.

The guard arched an eyebrow. “You sure?”

“Obviously,” Andrew said, rolling his eyes. He didn’t have knives on his person - they’d set off the metal detector - but he was never vulnerable. He made a promise that he’d never be taken advantage of again.

Wesninski flexed his wrists when the guard unlocked them, giving Andrew a thinly veiled look of appraisal. The guard immediately skittered off to stand outside the door, holding the interrogation room’s keys in tightly clenched fists.

“So,” Wesninski said, holding out a hand. “You’re the famous Andrew Minyard.”

"And you are the infamous Nathaniel Wesninski,” Andrew returned, ignoring the warmth of his skin as they shook hands. He sat down: the shitty metal chair creaked. “We both seem to have names and reputations that precede us.”

Nathaniel’s eye twitched slightly. “I prefer Neil.”

Andrew leant back in his chair, leg crossed at the ankle. “You seriously think they’re going to let you out?”

“Well,” Neil admitted. “Probably not. But I figured I’d give it a shot. It should be safer out there now.”

“You’ve been hiding in here? Who from, your father’s ghost?”

Neil was not impressed. “His bosses, actually. But since Kengo’s second son was shot between the eyes and his first son locked up for it, I should be fine.”

“Riko and Ichirou,” Andrew deduced. “Kevin’s mentioned them once or twice.”

Neil just glared. “I can’t believe that coward won’t help me.”

Andrew narrowed his eyes. “He owes you, does he? What for? Helping him escape the Moriyamas? Wait - that was me. What about coping with his trauma and reestablishing his career? Nevermind - that was me, too. Goodness, you haven’t been around much, have you? Right, right,” Andrew leaned over the table, resting his chin on his laced fingers. “You’ve been in jail for ten years.”

“You are not funny,” Neil snapped, gripping onto his blunt key.

“I don’t know if it’s worth my time, Mr Wesninski,” Neil flinched again. “Convince me.”

“Other than it’s what is just?” Andrew arched an eyebrow. Neil huffed. “Fine. I’ll pay you. Double your normal fee.”

“Prison pays well, does it?”

“Blood money,” Neil had the audacity to wink. Dammit, Andrew thought again. “I already know you’re quite happy to spend dirty cash, Minyard. A G6, right? Bit of an upgrade from your mother’s car.”

He should not know that. “You’re not exactly winning me over, here.”

Neil leaned back in his chair, fiddling with the stupid little key. He must have spent the last decade tracing it down to its current blunt status. Andrew wondered what it used to unlock.

Okay - he was intrigued by Neil. And yes, his narrative fit Andrew’s bill. And some spare cash wouldn’t hurt: he could sent Nicky and Erik over to Christmas for the summer.

“What’s something you’ve never given anyone?” Andrew inquired.

Neil looked up from under his ruby-tinted lashes. “What?”

“I want something that no one else has.” Andrew leaned further forward, leaning in close. “What do you have to offer me, Wesninski?”

For a moment, Neil simply stared. His fingers stilled. He definitely had a few tattoos and scars, from what Andrew could glean at the little slice of a sharp collarbone, exposed by the jumpsuit.

It was silent - almost electric. Andrew watched as something behind Neil’s eyes crumbled, the exhaustion settling in, the loneliness of a man who had known nothing but pain and suffering and isolation.

“Everyone knows Nathaniel Wesninski,” Neil said. “No one knows Neil.”

Andrew felt the remnants of a smirk tug at the corner of his lips.

“I’ll tell you the truth,” Neil offered, glaring at the table like it offended him. “I’ve never told the truth before.”

Andrew stood up, offering his hand. Neil followed suit, grip hesitant where he clasped Andrew’s hand.

“I’ll get you out of here,” Andrew said.

“You’ll try,” Neil corrected him.

“Here’s something you should know about me, Neil,” Andrew tugged on his suit jacket, fixing his cuffs. “I never fail a promise.”

Andrew felt Neil’s gaze, watching him as he left. As Andrew filtered past the guard, he snuck a two hundred into the guard’s pocket.

“Nine o’clock, tomorrow morning,” he said. “Bring him here.”

The guard, moon-eyed, just nodded.

Andrew glanced over his shoulder for one last assessment of his newest client. Neil was leant against the table they had spoken at, arms crossed as he glared in Andrew’s direction. His hair flopped forward, masking one eye. Like this, with his tattooed forearms and shoulders and hell-fire hair, he looked dangerous.

In his right hand, he played with his key.

Andrew spun on his heel and left. He knew he’d made the right decision.

Neil Wesninski would get out of jail, if it was the last thing Andrew did.

#andreil #andrew minyard #lawyer!andrew #felon!neil #neil josten #all for the game #defence attorneys don't always suck!#aftg #tfc #the foxes #law firm!foxes #david wymack #kevin day #tw: a lil bit of mentioned murder #the tension between them is just #mwah #i love my boys #jem writes

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neqtunes · 4 years

Text

Running from the police Ft. Andreil & Kevaaron

Look, I know I shouldn’t be writing this, but I am going to anyways because I CAN!

If you don’t like the ship, please leave :)) thanks.

Runaway Andrew and Aaron with shop workers Neil and Kevin

Andrew normally doesn’t steal

He only does when he needs too

Hes 20 and he can’t afford to be behind bars right now

And hes running out of energy - the more he ran, the weight of his legs were catching up to him

His breathing was getting worse, so just as he was turning a corner, he spots a see through door and starts banging, peering in

“Someone open the fucking door!”

The door was obviously locked and the more he fuddles with the doorknob, the closer the sirens got

As he was about to leave, a man comes quickly, looking at Andrew weirdly before opening the door for him

Andrew dashes in, not giving the man a second glance and hides behind a shelf of canned food items

Andrew hears the siren close to his ears, possibly right in front of the store

The sirens get distant

Andrew didn’t know he was holding his breathe until he lets out a loud sigh, continuing to hyperventilate

His eyes were blurry

He didn’t even notice the boy that opened the door for him was kneeling down to his level

Andrew eyes his auburn hair, before resting his eyes on the blue ones that stared back at him

“Neil!”

Neil looks back, and Andrew sees a taller man coming down the aisle

“I need you too-“

Kevin stops abruptly, seeing the messy state Andrew was in - ripped jeans, the white shirt he wore was a bit shredded yet very bloody and Andrew was visibly sweaty

“You smell like shit,” Kevin says without hesitation

Neil swats at Kevin's ankles before standing up straight and leaving without a word

Andrew watches as Neil leaves and looks up at Kevin

“Who the hell are you?” Kevin asks

Andrew stays quiet

Instead, Andrew starts coughing and that’s when Neil runs back into the aisle where Kevin and Andrew were

He had a water bottle in his hands

Neil opens it before handing it to Andrew who takes it and chugs it all down, back to breathing heavily and stays staring at the aisle of food in front of him

“So we let a criminal into our store?”

Andrew heard a banging on the door again but, out of instinct, he didn’t take a peek

Neil walks up to the door, peers through it and wondered if he was seeing two

Right in front of him, another boy that looked almost identical as the one inside the store - except this one looked a lot cleaner and in new clothes

This time, Neil hesitates with opening the door more than he did with the other boy

Neil opens the door, only for the duplicate man to walk right past him, shouldering Neil before Neil follows with a frown

Andrew looks up and sees his twin brother

“You don’t look happy,” Andrew says

“That’s because I’m fucking livid, the day you get off your meds is the day you want to screw the fuck up huh?”

Kevin and Neil stay silent as they watch the two stare at each other, extreme tension in the atmosphere that Kevin was afraid they would throw fists at one another - the shop would be ruined if they got into a physical fight

Kevin stares at the standing one; the cleaner looking one

Aaron feels someone staring at him and his eyes meet Kevin’s, Aaron replies by looking away

Kevin starts cussing under his breathe and gave Neil a stare

“This is your fault,” Kevin says.

“And?” Neil counters, crossing his arms

“I apologize for my brother coming into your store all bloody. I’m Aaron, and this.” Aaron waves at his brother in dismiss. “Is Andrew.”

“How’d you even find me?” Andrew says, giving Neil a glance. It was hard not to look at him, he was quite intriguing - a very evident scar on his face made Andrew stare longer

“They chased me thinking I was you while I was trying to follow you.”

Aaron walks past Kevin, slightly brushing his shoulder before going into the other isle and grabbing some bandages, rubbing alcohol, water - whatever he can find that would help his brother

He returns, only to dump the stuff right in front of Andrew and crouching down, staring at his brother

“Let me see.”

“No.”

“You are already losing blood.”

“And you are some sort of doctor?”

Aaron rose his brow in a motion of irritation combined with a ‘really bitch’ look

Andrew rolls his eyes before slightly turning his shirt up, showing a huge cut

“I tried to jump over a fence.”

“I know. I saw.”

“You know you have to pay for that?” Kevin interrupts, being elbowed in the ribs by his co-worker. Neil shook his head.

“He’s bleeding,” Neil says

“Do we look like a fucking hospital?”

Neil and Kevin continued to argue in whispers while the twins listened

They didn’t pay much attention to Andrews scar, they weren’t even looking to Andrews relief

Andrew broke their little whisper competition with a grunt in pain

Neil and Kevin watched as Andrew tries to get up without toppling over, but he did anyways and grabs his brother for stamina

“We will leave now,” Aaron says

Neil looks at Kevin, but Kevin stares at the twins as they near the door

They both follow them, and opened the door while Andrew has his arm around his brother for support

Aaron looks at Kevin, but doesn’t give the slightest attention to Neil

That was fine to Neil, he had his eyes on Andrew anyways, who also was looking back at him

“Thanks,” Aaron says to the shopkeepers

“Mmm,” Andrew replies

Kevin watches as Aaron rolls his eyes before making eye contact with Kevin

“You owe me.”

Aaron nods with a sigh

“You owe us.” Neil side eyes Kevin.

Andrew doesn’t spare a word as he starts walking, pulling his brother along with him

The two shop keepers watch as the twins cross the street and speed walk away

“I call dips on the bleeding one.”

Kevin gives a stink eye to Neil, but shrugs

“I like the doctor twin anyways, hes way more good looking then the other.”

“They are identical twins.”

“And?” Kevin retaliates, mimicking Neil from before

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crazy-fangirl2524 · 4 years

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Titanic au 2.0

Did anyone asked for more titanic au?? Nope. Did I wrote this even tho no one asked do it??? Damn right I did. So here’s another titanic au because I have this idea so I have to write it out so yes here’s another

Neil is Jack and Andrew is Rose

Neil met Andrew on the decks, when Andrew was standing out on the rails, staring ahead stoically

Neil thought Andrew would jump and try to stop him

“I am not suicidal, I’m not going to jump,”

“Then why are you standing out like that?”

Andrew didn’t answer, when Neil wouldn’t leave him alone, he finally said, “to feel,”

“Well, can you feel behind the rails?”

“It’s different,”

“How?”

Andrew didn’t answer again and Neil waited for him, until Andrew gave in and explained, “there’s no fear of falling behind the rails, because I am safe. But here, I’m not, so I can finally feel the pounding of my heart and rushing of my blood,”

“Well if you continue to stay out there like that my heart is definitely going to beat itself out of my chest, please climb back inside,”

“Do not say please,” Andrew said it so venomously, Neil was taken back

“Okay, then just, climb back inside, or I guess I will have to climb out and my hands are really slippery and I might fall, unlike you,”

Andrew didn’t move, but when Neil actually began to climb, Andrew growled, “all right,”

Andrew went back inside without a word, Neil, curious and intrigued by the beautiful blonde, followed him

“What more do you want?” Andrew growled at him

“For you to promise that you will never do that again,”

“I don’t even fucking know you,”

“I’m Neil, Neil Josten,”

When Andrew said nothing, Neil asked, “what’s your name?”

.... “Andrew, Andrew Minyard,” the blonde finally replied

“Well Andrew, can you promise me that you will never stand out on the rails like that?”

“If I do will you leave me alone?”

“Yes,” Neil lied

“Fine, I promise you,”

“Thank you,”

“This is my room you can leave me alone now,” the blonde crossed his arms over his chest, Neil nodded and left.

The next day, Neil, curious as he was, went by Andrew’s room, hoping to catch the blonde, but he caught something different entirely. He heard noises, horrible noises and he knew what was happening, he banged on the door furiously and a scowling man opened the door, pushing aside the too startled man, Neil went into the room and found Andrew on the bed. He made a strangled noise, “Andrew,” he helped Andrew up, he knew it wasn’t the first time, Neil had never been so furious.

“Who the fuck are you, what the fuck are you doing in here,” the man barked

“I’m Neil Josten and I’m here to report you sick fuck,”

The man laughed, “do you know who I am? I am Drake Spears, no one will believe you, what are you doing? He is mine,” Drake tried to snatch Andrew from Neil’s hands but Neil was a lot stronger than he looks.

“And do I look like I give a fuck? You do not know who I am and you will not want to cross me, especially my father,” Neil voice had a dangerous undertone to it and he smiled coldly, “the butcher”

The man scowled but stepped back, silently fuming he called out to them as they left his room, “have fun with that whore,”

Andrew pushed Neil away once the door closed, “what are you doing here?”

“I was hoping to catch you and passed by the door and then I hear it,”

“I thought you said you would leave me alone,”

“I lied,”

“Is your father really the butcher?”

“That’s true, but my father disowned me,”

Andrew finally understood why Neil was so scarred and he understood that the threat Neil made was useless

“He will find out once we get off this ship,” Andrew said

“Then at least you will be safe while we are on this ship, and we will do something once we get off,”

“There’s nothing you can do,” Andrew began to walk away,

“Where are you going? You don’t have anywhere to go,” Neil followed Andrew. Andrew didn’t answer

“You can stay in my room, there’s an empty bed,”

“Why are you doing this?” Andrew demanded, he could not understand why this stranger was doing so much for him

Neil shrugged, “maybe I understand how it feels like to be abused too, and maybe I want to help you,” Neil didn’t say save, because Neil really understood.

“Where’s your room?”

Neil smiled, and it transformed his whole face, “follow me,”

Andrew stayed in Neil’s room, the following day, they went out, avoiding the first class places, they talked about everything and nothing, Neil doing most of the talking. That night they went to a party and afterwards they went out onto the deck to smoke

“You can go with me,” Neil said suddenly, into the cold silent air

Andrew looked at him, waiting for him to elaborate

“When we arrive, I know you have nowhere to go and so do I, we can go anywhere and everywhere” Neil hesitated, “together.”

“You don’t have to decide now, just know that the offer is on the table,” Neil took another long drag of his cigarette

When the cigarettes had burned to the filter, Andrew turned towards Neil, “yes or no?”

Neil, dumbfounded looked at Andrew. The intensity in those burning hazel eyes were overwhelming and Neil was drowning in them, but he understood.

“Yes,”

“Hands in your pockets,” Neil pocketed them quickly, Andrew grabbed Neil’s neck and pulled him down.

Andrew kissed him like this was a fight with their lives on the line, like his world stopped and started with Neil’s mouth. Neil’s heart stuttered to a stop at the first hard press of lips against his and returned it just as vicious

Breathlessly, Andrew pulled away first, Neil didn’t stop him, only asked again, “yes or no?”

“No,” and Andrew walked off, Neil wordlessly followed him but careful to keep a distance so they wouldn’t brush against each other accidentally

The next night, they went out onto the decks again, and Andrew asked, “yes or no?”

“Yes,”

And they kissed again, this time when Andrew pulled away and Neil asked, Andrew said yes,

“You can put your hands on my hair, only”

Neil buried his hands in Andrew’s soft curls and didn’t touch anywhere else. They kissed and stayed there until dawn slowly broke out

Every night was the same, they asked, they answered yes, and they kissed

The night titanic hit the ice berg, Andrew and Neil was sleeping on the same bed, with Andrew spooning Neil. They woke up to frantic passengers screaming in hysteria and from the bits and pieces, they understood what was happening. They ran up onto the decks, on the way, they bumped into Drake. Drake scowling at their linked hands, pushed Andrew when the ship had just began to tilt, Andrew’s head banged against the walls, ears ringing, he could not hear what Neil said and only saw Drake’s body flew overboard, but in the chaos of everything, no one cared.

They continued to ran for the decks, Andrew’s spinning head slowing them down but Neil never let go and stayed with Andrew. When the ship broke and everything finally sank, Neil found a piece of wood and threw the concussed Andrew on it, who was too dizzy to fight back

“Neil, get on,” Andrew had never sounded so distressed

“It can only fit one, it will sink otherwise, and do not get off I’ll let go before you can,”

Andrew never hated himself so much, cursing his stupid useless head, he was too weak to fight with Neil, “no one likes a martyr,”

Neil smiled ruefully, “yes or no?”

“Yes,” cold lips clashed ferociously

“Promise me you will do whatever you have to to live, promise me”

Andrew didn’t answer, he didn’t want to answer, Neil gasped out, “if you don’t promise me right now I will let go,”

“I promise,” Andrew hated himself for answering, but whatever small chances they had for Neil to live he would take it.

“Thank you, you were amazing,” despite the freezing condition Neil was in, his eyes were blazing and he could not have sounded happier

Tears fell down Andrew’s face, he hadn’t cried when Drake bought him from his mother, he didn’t cry when Drake first pushed him onto the bed, he thought he lost his ability to cry, and yet.

“Can I?” Neil’s shivering hand hovered over Andrew’s face, Andrew nodded and Neil wiped Andrew’s tears, his hand on Andrew’s face was freezing but Andrew could only feel the heat of them. Andrew closed his eyes, his cheeks leaning against Neil’s freezing hand

When Andrew opened them again, he heard whistles in the distance, he screamed for help and as the boat rowed closer, Andrew tried knowing the results, “Neil,”

“Neil,”

“Neil Josten,”

Andrew removed Neil’s hand from his cheeks and Neil sank, his frozen auburn hair disappeared under the waters. Andrew pulled himself onto the boat, ignoring the hands held out to him.

When they asked for his name, he said, “Josten, Andrew Minyard Josten”

Andrew lived, just as he had promised Neil, but he never hated the promise more. He found his cousins in America, Nicky and Aaron. He stayed with them, worked in a bar, drank everyday but never drunk enough to lose control. Finally, in his late thirties, his liver and lungs began to fail from the smoke and alcohol, his cousins tried to get him to stop his habits and get him treated, Andrew refused.

“Promise me you will throw my ashes into the Atlantic Ocean,”

“We will, we promise” Nicky said, he was crying by Andrew’s death bed.

“You know I meant for you to live a fulfilling life, not a half-assed one,” Neil hands him a cigarette.

“You never specify,” Andrew doesn’t look at him, he stares out at the horizon and takes a long drag of his cigarette

“I guess next time I will be more specific,”

“No next time,” Andrew growls

Neil laughs, a sound that Andrew can never forget

“Yes or no?” Andrew asks

“Yes,”

So yes did I cry again while writing this? Maybe, but honestly you can’t tell me that if it’s Andrew who lives he will actaully live happily like that’s completely impossible so yeah but well hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it hahahahahaha

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shemetan · 4 years

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rapper hc part 1

hi guys!!! so i’ve had this idea in my head forever and just didn’t have anyone to share it with but i told hedy about it yesterday and she scammed me into creating tumblr acc and sharing it here lol but when i went to write it down i realized that i have a lot more to share so it’s gonna be just the 1st part for now, which was the only thing i had in my mind originally but now i’m working on expanding it.

i have a lot of ideas from the songs and this is no exception. this time the inspiration was NF - an amazing rapper and song writer. his songs uncover so much trauma and the things he raps and sings about are so real for a lot of us that you can’t help relating to them. NF’s real name is Nathan which also played part in this idea. lyrics of the songs are what the hc is based on so please listen to the songs i mention and pay attention to the lyrics.

ok i don’t wanna waste more of your time bc the hc is big as it is so without further ado let’s dive into it. p.s. it’s the first time i do a thing like that so im sorry in advance for any inconsistencies or the general drama:)))

TW!! (everything is just mentioned, nothing too graphic) physical abuse, verbal/emotional abuse, alcohol, drinking, drug addiction, overdose, death from overdose, kidnapping, torture (beating, skin burning, cuts – all of it not descriptive), violence, breaking one’s own bones, putting bastards to prison. also NF’s lyrics got a lot of triggers and cover very serious issues so if you decide to listen to some more of his music be careful with that. some of the things mentioned in the songs i’ve used here: depression, grave digging, guns, blood (in a non-violent way).

neil’s story: he grew up in an abusive family. his father was drinking a lot and abused him physically and verbally saying that he was nothing and nobody and would not amount to anything in his life. he despised neil’s love for music and laughed at him. he also hit him more when he noticed anything related to neil’s passion (neil humming some melody or listening to music in his headphones or trying to create smth). his mother tried to protect him but she couldn’t do much bc of her drug addiction. she overdosed during his last year in hs and surprisingly left him some money. when Nathan found out about that he was enraged and beat the shit out of neil so he would give him that money. to run away from his father neil goes to university to study his passion – music. he’s always had some kind of knack for creating music and rapping and now he could explore it more and not be afraid of nathan. he tries to overcome his trauma and even makes some friends (the foxes).

during the freshman year andrew and neil spend a lot of time together. they find the reflections of their hurt in each other and they find understanding. they share some of their past and their traumas; their view of the world and their dreams. andrew feels like he is falling because he’s never met anyone like neil. slowly there are soft touches and furtive glances but neither is ready yet to cross that line.

neil seemingly gets better even though there are a lot of hard moments on the way. however at the end of his freshman year nathan finds him and he and his cronies kidnap and beat neil up for Mary’s money keeping him in the basement for several days. this money is all neil’s got to survive and build his life so he doesn’t say anything and thinks of the ways to run. im not good with making up torture techniques and nathan is not so imaginative here but they still leave neil with scars on his face, his torso and hands (mostly burns from cigarettes, iron, cuts from glass bottles). by the end of the third day neil is physically and morally exhausted so he gives up and transfers all the money to them (he’s got a little of it left on his other acc) and they drunk on their win leave him in the basement. he breaks his fingers to get out of the handcuffs and gets out through the small basement window and runs outside. not long after that he collapses from all the exhaustion and blood loss and someone notices him. they call the cops and the ambulance. after that nathan and his cronies are put into prison and neil is left with almost no money. he leaves the state and a year later with a lot of effort, practicing and self-advertising he successfully signs with a music label under the name N/A.

andrew’s story: tilda didn’t give him up but was a shitty mother (obv) with drug addiction. andrew and aaron’s parents were divorced and their father didn’t live with them but tried to be there when he could. andrew started creating music as an outlet bc tilda’s boyfriends were physically abusing him and he tried to protect aaron from that. he and aaron were close bc they only had each other but andrew still didn’t share his trauma with aaron trying to protect him from that hell. of course he was only a child and couldn’t always take aaron’s place in beating but most of it lay on him. while at hs they became a band with the help of nicky and performed with their songs were they could and tried to self-advertise and wymack (he’s the head of the music dep at uni and also one of the profs) noticed them and offered them partial scholarships. they had some money left after tilda’s overdose (they lived for some time with their father after her death) so they went to get actual education on music production (at this point I don’t care how plausible it sounds, just don’t think too much about it ok lol)

the story:

ok so nathaniel once went to uni with the foxes (is there such a major as music production and singing or smth?) but at the end of his freshman year he disappeared. he was not very sociable so no one really cared where’d he go except for the foxes with whom he became somewhat friends. 1-2 years later he pops up as a new young and very talented rapper named N/A and he’s got burn scars all over his face and hands which he doesn’t hide so very intriguing right??? nobody knows much about him and that his name stands for Neil Abram so they take it literally as ‘no data available’ or smth (hedy also proposed “not applicable”!). foxes are like WTF we know that guy!! and wymack is also like isn’t that nathaniel??

Andrew’s become a huge fan of neil’s music. only renee knows that andrew’s been listening to neil’s songs non stop bc he can relate so hard to them and they just hit him right where it hurts. at the end of their last year they have like a huge final concert or smth and wymack organizes it to be held in one of the palmetto clubs. at the same time neil is coming back to Palmetto bc he is nostalgic of the time he spent in the uni with the foxes and he wants to escape his real life for a moment. he wants to visit the city and reminisce and he believes that none of the foxes really remembers him bc he was a nobody. I know the plot is getting ridiculous but bear with me

so it’s the evening of the gig and the students perform their music (songs, instrumentals, as solos/duets/bands etc). andrew majorly produces rap songs at this point and he performs in duet with renee with their song (NF’s “Can you hold me”). everyone is like shit it was so good but then andrew performs his solo song (NF’s “How could you leave us”). aaron is standing there and is a fucking mess bc he never knew andrew was that affected by their past and their mother’s death bc he never showed it and didn’t ever want to talk about his issues. (be warned this is a heart-wrenching song and it fits fucking perfectly). after that andrew almost runs outside for a smoke, trying to light a cigarette with his shaking fingers and thats when he sees a strange all covered up figure in a black hoodie entering the club but also cautiously looking over their shoulder like they don’t want to be caught. andrew ever the protective one follows him but loses in the crowd of the low lit club. 10 mins later there is quiet and the figure goes on stage – obv its neil. “Intro III” starts playing.

andrew is in awe and he’s never heard this song before so it must be new. he also never saw neil perform live so he cant really move bc the performance is so powerful and magnetic. *neils sitting on one of the disconnected amplifiers in the dark and the music starts building up. At 2:00 of the song after the words “I mean, what are you, outta your mind? 'Cause both of us will be, come on, let's go outside!” he pulls off his hood, his movements are fierce and aggressive and he’s almost screaming in the mic. at words “You had me scared for a second, I thought we were diggin' my grave” theres his fathers smile, vicious, crazy and cruel – thats how he remembered it spending 3 days in that basement. (fyi in the song NF’s talking to his fear and they go back and forth).*

andrew is mesmerized, the foxes are in shock, the whole crowd does not understand who that is but they watch with open mouths. the song ends and the crowd goes wild. that’s when neil starts talking.

“hello palmetto. this is a great concert you got and some of you guys are fucking talented. my name is neil and I used to go to PSU a long time ago so you prolly don’t know me but professor wymack out there let me come here on this stage and sing a couple of my songs for you. one of them is my old song, and another is new but they both tell my story and I hope you like’em”.

people cheer and applaud and after a moment another song starts playing. its the one andrew knows (it’s Paralyzed). the atmosphere gets way calmer but everyone is just as hypnotized. during the chorus neil is standing under the dim lights, head turned up facing the ceiling, eyes closed, his scars are illuminated. he looks almost peaceful but there’s pain and apathy showing on his face and in his posture. the song ends and neil leaves the stage. andrew cant make his legs move but he has to meet neil (he just realized that neil’s shared his name with them and it wasn’t “nathaniel” and andrew’s got so many questions).

he forces himself to move and almost runs backstage. neil is already leaving but andrew stops him by grabbing him by his arm. they stand there looking at each other, andrew panting, his body shaking a little, neil wide-eyed.

“Andrew…” he whispers obviously surprised by seeing Andrew here.

“Nath- Neil.” suddenly Andrew cant ask a single question. he’s got so many that it feels like a waste of time to ask them one by one. Neil looks down at where Andrew is still grabbing his arm and Andrew lets go off him like its burnt him. “You are here” he lets out on the exhale like he still can’t believe it.

Neil averts his eyes and puts the hood of his sweater on his head so that the shadows obscure half of his face. “Yeah” he replies and after a few seconds follows with hesitant “How are you?” It is a stupid question, Andrew thinks but he answers nonetheless with simple fine. Neil holds his head low, and Andrew can’t help but wonder if Neil doesn’t wanna look him in the eyes after his disappearance so many years ago or if he simply doesn’t want to see Andrew’s face. Both options hurt him but he doesn’t have the heart to ask.

the end of part 1. come yell at me on twt or here hihi

#aftg #aftg headcanon #NF #akathemusicgod #rapper!neil #rapper!andrew #hcs #rapper au #rapper hc #andreil

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fox-sleeping-minyard · 5 years

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After spending the last, like, six months of writing solely on Lucid and Dancing With The Devil, today I really wanted to write something super short and super dumb and completely self-indulgent. And I did exactly that :D

***

Matt pulled the key from his truck’s ignition and jumped out of the car, full of motivation. It was gym time and he was a little late already because his teacher mercilessly overran her lesson time, so he took long, fast strides towards the building once he locked the car. There was nothing better than gym after a boring class, it never failed to raise his spirits and give him back some energy. When he entered, the locker room was empty save for some random students he didn’t know - the rest of his team was probably already busy with their routines - and Matt threw on his gym outfit as fast as he could. He didn’t want to lose any more time and possibly have Coach sign him up for a marathon for being later than necessary.

Coach was nowhere to be seen, but Matt didn’t try to find him, instead he went straight to where the bikes and cross trainers and treadmills were - he couldn’t start a workout without a little cardio as a warm up, could he now? Just the thought of getting his legs in gear on the treadmill brought a light spring to Matt’s step; his muscles were tired from sitting through hours of classes and he’d have time for a post-workout nap before afternoon practice. Perfect. Or maybe he could grab some lunch with Neil.

Speaking of Neil, when Matt rounded the corner he spotted him and Andrew in the cardio area of the gym, which wasn’t unusual in itself. Neil could do more cardio than any of them, and even though Andrew openly despised the treadmill even he had to do warmups. What put a frown on Matt’s face was the fact that Neil sat on one of the bikes - but didn’t move. He literally just sat there, hands resting on his thighs, feet braced on the pedals but frozen. Andrew wasn’t even on any of the machines, he just sat on the small bench right beside Neil’s bike, arms crossed in front of his chest, leaning against the wall and a small, angry frown between his brows - and both of them were staring in the same direction.

“Hey guys,” Matt said once he was in earshot, and both Andrew and Neil shot him a quick glance, then each other, and eventually turned their eyes back forwards.

“Hey Matt,” Neil said without looking at him. Andrew grunted quietly, which was more of a greeting than Matt would’ve gotten just three months ago. Andrew really did try to be civil with the rest of the Foxes since him and Neil started dating - in the most Andrew-way, but that was okay. Matt appreciated the thought.

“What’s up?” Matt asked.

Neither of them said anything, but Neil jerked his chin in the direction he was staring at. Matt, confused yet intrigued, followed his gaze.

“Oh,” he uttered with a hitch in his breath when he saw what was holding Andrew and Neil’s attention in such an iron grip.

He had seen a lot of things during his time as a Fox.

Kevin Day, on his knees, chest pressed to the ground, back arched and ass up in the air wasn’t one of them - until today.

“What is he--”

Kevin stretched his arms out over his head and arched his back deeper, which resulted in his ass sticking up further into the air and a little groan carried all the way from Kevin over to them. Any words got stuck in Matt’s throat.

“Yoga,” Andrew grunted.

“He was complaining about back pain all morning,” Neil added. Neither of them averted their eyes from Kevin. Matt opened his mouth but no words came out, so he closed it again. He had absolutely no idea what this pose was called but he honest to God could not care less. He just knew he liked it.

After a minute or two, Matt really wasn’t sure, Kevin pushed his chest off the yoga mat until he was on hands and knees, then raised his chin and curved his back. The expression on his face was entirely blissful and his eyes closed, his lips slightly parted as he pushed out long, deep breaths. Oh, God.

“I-Is he wearing-” Matt stuttered but his thoughts trailed off when Kevin arched his back up, dropping his head, then returned into the former position, his thighs slipping apart the tiniest bit more from the movement.

“Leggings. Yes,” Andrew grunted, sounding genuinely offended.

“He says they’re ‘super breathable, high intensity sweatpants’,” Neil said.

“They’re fucking leggings,” Andrew replied.

“Yeah,” Neil agreed easily.

Oh dear Lord have mercy.

Matt blinked at the sight and tried, he really tried, to avert his eyes, but all the managed was to stumble two steps towards the bench Andrew was sitting on.

“Hey, bro, is that spot still free?”

Andrew glanced up at him, then returned his gaze to Kevin but scooted the tiniest bit over to make room for Matt. Matt fell into the spot next to Andrew, bracing his arms on his knees, his cardio plans completely forgotten. But who could blame him when Kevin Day, in tight gym leggings, was switching into the twisted lizard pose?

#aftg #kevin day #matt boyd #neil josten #andrew minyard #ficlet #my writing #slightly kevimatt i guess #but honestly they're all just admiring

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fallingin-like · 5 years

Text

november 12

peu à peu by @zombiesolace [requested by @jsteneil]

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!

this is a really interesting character study on post-canon kevin and how he finds his place within the foxes and deals with the aftermath of the events within the series. this fic has a lot of introspection and does a really great job of unpacking everything.

this is such an intriguing fic to me, i don’t see that many that really delve into kevin and his thoughts. i can’t imagine how difficult of a time he must have, both throughout the series and during post-canon events. this fic really made me better appreciate the struggles that he goes through because it’s really common to have his actions portrayed without any of this explanation or why he acts in certain ways. we always see his single-mindedness with respect to exy and just kind of write it off as kevin being kevin. i think you effectively explored his character and inner thoughts.

some parts that stood out to me:

“it goes like this: they lose.” uhm somehow you were able to break my heart in the first two lines of the fic? i love the simplicity of the way you worded this, it contrasts really well with the significance of what it means, for the foxes, but especially for kevin.

kevin yelling at the team after the loss feels very in character. it reminds me of what he was apparently like when coaching the foxes prior to playing, and we see a little bit of it in the books themselves. it really comes down to the fact that kevin is desperate. for a lot of the foxes, the loss stings, but at the end of the day it’s just a loss. the criticism is harsh and they don’t understand why kevin is so hard on them. to kevin, it’s his life. not just because of the fact that he’s definitely trying to go pro and have exy as his career and not just because the moriyamas are definitely watching over him, but because that’s how he was raised as a child. kevin’s terrible childhood is somewhat overshadowed by the rest of the foxes, but he likely still has trauma from how he was raised in the nest, under the master and riko. so much pressure that it feels natural that he wants to try and regain control in some way.

”they’re a team, they fall together. and yet after each game this year, kevin has found himself falling apart alone. biting shame and swallowing frustration as he tears into each overanalyzed mistake” i find in life it’s so easy to isolate yourself from the people around you. the foxes probably find it hard to be sympathetic towards kevin, but they probably don’t realise that as harsh as he is to them, he is exponentially more critical of himself. in your own head, mistakes can be an unending loop, constant and distracting. this fic is really opening my eyes to what kevin is dealing with and appreciating him so much more.

”their win last year was a fluke. a gift given to them by virtue of the trojans. a simply byproduct of the hardiness of the foxes and the instability of riko’s collapsing domain.” ohmygoodness nooo it’s always so hard for me as an outsider to see kevin (and really anyone) struggle with the imposter syndrome. so many people (including many talented fanfic authors!!) write off their talent, skill, and hard work as fluke or luck as opposed to the many hours spent bettering themselves and practicing.

”it is with an overwhelming sense of dread that kevin thinks of his death. with each day the reality of riko’s loss feels more sure… kevin wishes riko’s ghost had followed. he wishes riko were still alive. he wishes he were alone, he wishes he weren’t.” wow i love the way you wrote this, with his conflicting thoughts. since we experienced the series through neil’s pov, riko’s death feels more like victory and less like a loss. it’s something to be celebrated. but i think it can almost be seen as similar to mary’s death, which neil mourned. both characters were abusive and did things that were wrong. and yet, they were loved. whether we like it or not, riko was kevin’s family and though their relationship was twisted and manipulated, especially as they grew older, riko was the person that kevin was closest to. emotions are so complicated and i bet kevin feels like he can’t discuss this with the other foxes, who don’t quite understand.

”he knows that his commentary is far more nuanced by virtue of being a fox. kevin takes the out and opens the folder he has on the roadrunners.” this is kind of small, but i find it has some significance. it can be so easy to do the thing that you know is self destructive and get caught in a rabbit hole of pages and articles of bad. good on kevin for not doing that.

”the name wymack clings to his tongue. coach sits temptingly at the back of his palette. my dad, his mind whispers, the words clear and intrusive.” ugH it must be so so hard for kevin to work through this. i love these lines.

”andrew pokes his head out of the bedroom. he stares blankly at kevin, his hair mussed… he leaves the door partially ajar. kevin feels something in his chest loosen.” oo i really really liked this part. andrew has his own unique way of showing that he cares and i love seeing the small things that he does.

the whole conversation between dan and kevin is so interesting. the actual information that you’re sharing about exy and the way that they interact. i think you did a great job of showing a realistic back and forth.

”riko was always right there. kevin never had to call him.” these two sentences, and actually that whole section is really just so heartbreaking. you do a great job of making me understand kevin, something i haven’t really done so before.

”that’s not true. he does know. he enjoys having the ability to express his opinion. it’s a novelty he’s still getting used to.” oh, kevin.

”kevin can’t see any of the foxes. they disappeared into the store moments upon arrival and three out of the four are too short to be seen over the aisles.” lol what a mood (i am short)

kevin’s interaction with the fans is so interesting. i wonder if he often dealt with actually meeting fans during his time as a raven. it’s also really interesting to see neil from this point of view, he almost seems… unfamiliar? but not in a bad way. it kind of really brings us into the perspective of kevin.

abby-kevin relationship is so nice. i think it’s great that kevin has a maternal figure that he can find comfort in

the section on kayleigh is just so so sad. it makes me feel grief for someone i never knew. it aches knowing that she was such a wonderful woman, that kevin had her and now he doesn’t.

”’wooo!’ nicky shouts, ‘now that was a wake up call i didn’t need.’” ohmygoodness i love the way that you write nicky! it really lightens the fic a bit more.

honestly the bit about jean being waterboarded is horrifying to me.

i like that wymack took kevin to riko’s funeral. there’s a sense of closure that has to do with it, kevin being with his real family while saying goodbye to what used to be his family

”he doesn’t recall riko breaking his had. he remembers before, and he remembers after but he doesn’t remember the moment his life changed.” i really appreciate the formatting you used with this, the line separating the first sentence, the way that you broke up the second sentence into two lines. it feels more impactful, more significant.

”he can see nicky and aaron showing off their most ridiculous dance moves in the corner for one another” oh my goodness this is amazing

“he wonders if they’ll call him an ex-fox when he graduates or if he’ll always be labeled an ex-raven. the nest had a quiet energy that fox tower doesn’t.” oh oh i like this a lot

also i like how you broke up the texts with paragraphs of kevin’s thoughts. it shows the gaps between his texts more and i feel his loneliness more keenly. the double-texting with the periods between reminds me of when i am at my loneliest

i love kevin’s conversation with jeremy. he’s known as one of the nicest, brightest characters in the series, but we really see why. how he is able to relax kevin and just speak to him.

your explanation of kevin choosing history as his major is so insightful, i’ve never really considered it, but now i wish i had

”i want andrew to enjoy himself. he does it rarely, kevin, you’re aware of that” renne is just so great.

the part about kevin using twitter, especially as a way to try and connect with thea is so interesting to me.

”’does he know you’re better than he is?’ she’d whispered in his ear” I LOVE THIS LINE what a turning point in kevin’s journey

ahh the part about nicky telling andrew about the conspiracy station, it’s so nice to see the way they are bonding like his

andrew is such a complicated character, i absolutely adore the way that you write him. a lot of the time i read a softer side of him, through the perspective of neil. kevin and andrew have a fascinating relationship, i love seeing it from kevin. “he gives kevin a thumbs up”, “i hear you, andrew says” these are so perfect

wymack giving kevin an extra jacket is peak dad behaviour.

recently i’ve been so fond of seeing authors incorporate the title of their fic into the writing. this is no different, it makes the title have that much more meaning “little by little, the bird builds his nest” i love this. how did you come across this quote? it’s so fitting for this fic

the dynamic between dan, wymack, and kevin is so so interesting. wymack and kevin are so similar that sometimes i guess it causes a distance because they’re not the best at communication. and it must be hard. they’re related, but still have so much to learn about each other. i guess i’ve never though much of how close dan and wymack are. you do a really good job at capturing the tension that exists, the interactions.

”he thinks a lot of people would rather he never spoke again” oh no this hit me hard

the little part where kevin and dan are talking about neil’s shot, i like this little bonding that we see. exy is the thing that has brought them together

”’you’ll make a good wymack,’ he says. dan jerks back, her mouth open, and her eyes stunned.” oh this is so nice

”he wants to say he’s my dad, but he’s hers too; hers more so and that’s dan’s point. what would he know? ‘he saved me too,’ he says instead” oh my goodness i love this so much

sorry but neil and kevin teaming up and nicky and aaron teaming up so that andrew loses is the best part of this fic and anyone that believes otherwise can fight me!!! “when they arrive in columbia andrew makes an aborted move like he will shut neil out of their room and it’s the first time kevin hears something like a laugh from neil.” this is so soft i needed this

go thea!!! thank you for making her so amazing in this fic!!! i like how you write their relationship, it’s refreshing and really interesting, we don’t know that much about thea

THEA TAKING OFF HER NECKLACE WHEN KEVIN CHANGES HIS TATTOO THIS IS THE BEST

there’s so much that you covered in this fic. kevin’s relationship with exy, riko, the rest of the foxes, wymack. i love the way that you worked through everything. the gradual improvement of the foxes following with kevin’s mental health improving. but we can really see how far he has come when they lose and he’s okay with it. you made me feel so close to kevin. your writing is wonderful, so many little details that just build to make this fic amazing. thank you so much for writing this!

#peu à peu #aftg fic review #raelle writes

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