#and yes i had to say something here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 9 months

Text

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

6K notes · View notes

almondpiglet · 2 months

Text

ITS SERIZAWAS BDAY TODAY!! IM SO GRATEFUL FOR THIS MAN YALL!!

sns and the kids after celebrating all day long... having sweet lil dreams

#and on easter sunday as well... my boy is BLESSED #i had ran into so many obstacles trying to draw something for him whew boi but i had to... its him!!!#oh yes i will finish the other seriweek stuff too... just making sure i got today on time hehe #piglet stop accidently drawing serirei when you didnt intend to...#WELL WHAT CAN I SAy...heres two dudes just napping on each other... one holding onto the other... nothing going on here no siree!! *sweats*#my art #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #serizawa katsuya #reigen arataka #shigeo kageyama #ritsu kageyama #tome kurata #teruki hanazawa #shou suzuki #ekubo #serizawaweek2024

2K notes · View notes

magpie-trinkets · 2 months

Text

continuing that "maya tries to contact claire" post, i present you the post-Spirit of Justice follow-up

#post that caters to ME specifically #let me first tag #ghost trick spoilers #lost future spoilers #now that that's out of the way. you know who's on that suitcase ;)#also claire is fucked up by time travel shenanigans so it's possible let's just say #also ghost powers grow and change with time sooooo. let's play with canon #layton “i have a dead girlfriend” and yomiel “i had a dead girlfriend” bisexuals #also yes the whole gang traveled to london they're just strolling around #maya had unfinished business and now that she's more powerful she's BACK #this would take place 7-or-so years after lost future/plvspw so layton is in his mid-forties here. i had to look it so correct me if im not #also yes this is a crossover AU i have rotating in my mind i love the source material and layton's and claire whole thing no shade to that #powerful narrative that made me cry #but with aa and gt magic fuckery we have the technology #also about the jail bit. that's a fic i am writing (one sentence every month)#ghost trick #professor layton #ace attorney #my art #ms paint #GOD. that wall of text is surely something

841 notes · View notes

theceaselessidiot · 3 days

Text

Eloise Bridgerton being an absolute mood:

and Cressida's reaction of 'this girl is so weird, but I'm into it??? Wait am I into this??'':

#i was so sad that no one had made gifs of this moment #that i simply made one myself #i just love this almost smile cressida has here #like she can't believe eloise would just say and do this sort of thing #which kind of also adds to what she says in a later episode about eloise being courageous #she means this; eloise just being unapologetically herself without caring about whats appropriate #something cressida doesn't have the freedom to do (because she lacks the family support eloise has) but probably wishes she could #i love finding these little moments bc you can interpret so much from them even though they're only seconds long #yes i am autistic why do you ask?#eloise bridgerton #cressida cowper #creloise #bridgerton #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton 3x02 #gifs #my gifs #(also i don't know how to gif i did my best with what gimp can do)#bc id rather die than using something adobe makes

370 notes · View notes

lyxchen · 2 months

Text

Something I love about Heartbreak High is how when we first see Amerie's perspective of what happened at the festival everything is good and Harper is happy and jokes around with her but then when we see Harpers perspective you suddenly notice how unsure and uncomfortable she actually is. Like she doesn't smile as much and it's a little more fake and she's being much more serious, for example with the "I think my house is haunted" moment and also when her dad texts her. But Amerie didn't notice. Which is why she didn't realize something was going on with Harper and why she couldn't imagine that anything had happened that day. In her memory everything was great and perfect when it in fact wasn't. And I think that's a really cool way of showing both their perspectives because while overall they both remember the same things, their perception of How it happened is different

#i love love looove when shows do that #like showing the same moments twice but with different acting from the actors to show how the different characters percieved what happened #and here you can clearly see it #you can really see how amerie and harper had such different memorys of that day #so of course harper being mean to amerie and ignoring her comes out of the blue for amerie #because she didn't notice #and then you see harpers perspective and suddenly you see that actually everything wasn't great #anyways #good show!!!!#amazing show!!!!!#oh also something i noticed just now because i continued watching the scene from harpers perspective #when harper says no to taking the drugs and amerie is like 'what so i just do them by myself'#amerie sound angry #like she sounds really pissed off at harper #but then in amerie's version she's more confused and yes a bit annoyed but definetly not angry #like that's a huge difference #so yeah anyways #that's it for now #heartbreak high #amerie wadia #harper mclean #lea's random thoughts

348 notes · View notes

vaggieslefteye · 1 month

Text

HAZBIN HOTEL (2024): 1x04 - "Masquerade"

#hazbin hotel #angel dust #niffty #sir pentious #hazbin angel dust #hazbin niffty #hazbin sir pentious #requested #hazbin hotel edit #masquerade #THIS IS NEVER NOT SO FUCKING FUNNY LMFAOOOOO #also if ur here: @ the person who requested the saint peter greeting set i'm still working on it!! it's just taking a long ass time lmao #my gifs #genuinely i think niffty is the only one who will always say yes to watching angel's movies with him #they'd both have a blast - niffty enjoys the violence/depravity and angel gets to brag/talk about his performance #and she'd listen!!#they'd share popcorn :]#then she'd say something completely off the hinges like ''last time i dommed a guy like that i had to bury him in five different locations'#ep highlight: subtitled

128 notes · View notes

chirpsythismorning · 1 year

Text

There isn't much discourse about how Mike went from saying that El was a weapon in s1, even encouraging the others to use El's powers when she was still recuperating after finding Will in the void, to then in s3 accusing the others of being reckless with her powers, saying she's risking her life for no reason.

Now, I want to make clear that I'm not bashing Mike here, this has less to do with what he's doing being right or wrong. What this is about is how Mike went from doing something himself, to calling out other people for doing it, without acknowledging that fact and why the writers chose to frame it all this way.

You might think it's insignificant, but these two following scenes are clearly being paralleled to each other. And so the fact that Mike himself is acknowledging this as something to be critical of, makes me wonder what exactly is going on in his mind...

I want to preface this scene from s1 by saying that Mike is giving very off vibes here. I know that I certainly viewed this scene as romantic the first time I saw it, but since rewatching it recently, I was getting completely different vibes.

They literally make a point to focus on Mike being distracted, on the verge of impatience. Then, the way El reacts upon Mike getting up abruptly, gives this feeling of uncertainty about Mike's consideration for her in this moment, as she's clearly not what's on the top of his mind right now. And it just makes you wonder, are we truly supposed to be feeling peak romance rn?

I never realized how out of place this scene was until now (or is it...). It's just such an odd choice to have El resting her head on Mike's shoulder for comfort, only for Mike to cut it short with him being distracted, and with Dustin and El looking awkwardly at Mike like "Okay?...", then followed by a scene where he's trying to convince the others to use El's powers to help.

Here we have s1 Mike displaying behavior that s3 Mike was calling out the others for displaying:

Here we have Lucas, who was very, very critical of El being dangerous ALL of s1, and yet now in complete contrast to that, he is showing more consideration and common sense for El's well being than Mike, the supposed love (at first sight) interest ...

'That's the most important thing, remember?'

A question, followed by Mike just standing there in silence, like he's only just now really thinking about El being safe as their main priority... This is something that combined with everything else unfolding over the course of this season and the seasons after, that makes Mike's behavior a whole lot easier to understand.

I'll have to make several other posts about this, because there are a lot of aspects to it, but for now I'm just going to focus on these two parallels.

Here we have what happens in s3, with Mike being critical of the others doing something he himself literally did in s1:

In fact, how careless all of you are.

THIS. When Mike makes it a big deal to call out everyone for doing something he himself has already done, he's outright admitting that it's something that he believes is wrong, and by not even slightly acknowledging his role in doing something similar in the past, it's very likely that he feels guilty about it.

This was probably his way of trying to make it right, by standing up for El in a way that he didn't before because he was treating her like some superhero and not a real person back then.

It's just that the word love slipped out, in the heat of the moment. And El, upon overhearing this, is seeing this development of Mike herself, with s1 Mike going from, yes being more kind and considerate than the other 2 boys in the beginning, but still sort of expecting stuff from her without her being able to verbally agree to it, to now having developed and changed to saying that one of his big priorities is her safety.

El is taking this as being evidence he went from not loving her, to loving her. Another reason why it's pretty obvious El didn't believe Mike's monologue, bc she herself witnessed Mike develop his apparent romantic feelings for her over time, and so him saying it was love at first sight, was probably the catalyst that made it abundantly clear to her that he wasn't being truthful, bc she knows it's not the truth. She's not stupid.

Again this isn't about Mike doing this back then or even the others doing it now as being bad vs. good, this is about the writers going about it this way, sending a message that Mike feels guilt, enough to try to make things right, but is apparently not ready to unpack the actual guilt that is beneath the surface which lead him to this point.

And then there's this scene, which... it's actually terrifying how obvious it is they instructed Sadie and Caleb to lean out of that shot with Will and Mike reacting to El entering the room... Like... It's SOO obvious when you watch it now what they're trying to hint at without saying it.

Not only are they hinting at Will's feelings, because that is part of it, they're also hinting at Mike's internal struggle. Will is always on the back of his mind whether he's willing to address it or not. And all while that is happening, he is feeling unaddressed guilt about how he treated El when they first met and spent that one week together helping her run away from the bad guys while also looking for Will, something Mike viewed as being worthy of El using her powers...

I'll have to make the other posts regarding this soon, because it all starts to click what's going on with Mike when you look at all of these things together.

While Mike is just a kid like pretty much everyone else in this story, and while he didn't mean any harm by asking El to help them find Will (none of them did), I think that's kind of the whole point?

I think that he got lucky superman landed on his doorstep, who just so happened to be in danger herself, giving him his own purpose to help her too, with her needing him as well, and so it became a situation where they both needed each other.

But because El could literally not speak, it's not like she could really voice her feelings about things they were doing, beyond yes and no. She had Lucas sort of being critical of her, with Mike encouraging El to do things that would make the others see her as being worthy of sticking around so they can find Will. It goes without saying she felt obligated to do these things, even if they didn't outright tell her she had to or else. We literally see almost all of these scenes with her doing stuff for the others being instantly juxtaposed with scenes of Brenner doing the same. It's not the same scale of severity, but it is an acknowledgment that although she is outside of the lab, she still feels like her powers are what define her and it's all people want from her.

I think what it comes down to, is that in that moment when she is sacrificing herself to the demogorgan at the end of s1, we are seeing in real time Mike realizing what he and the other's have been asking of her this whole time, without outright asking her.

And you can literally see the retaliation and devastation hit him all at once. The instant regret, where he's backtracking and El stops him from even trying.

'Goodbye Mike' singles him out, because while he was the one out of the three that showed her the most kindness from the start, he was also the one who at the end of it all, was still expecting her to risk her life for them...

And that just makes it hit so much harder when you think about how that made Mike feel in that moment.

And then in s2 how that impacts Mike and his journey going forward.

His breakdown at the end of s2 upon her return.

His behavior in s3-4, in relation to him juggling his relationship with Will and El, now that they are both in his life at the same time.

It all starts to make sense.

I won't go too much into it because those other posts are bound to be long with a bunch of pictures too!

But on that note, there's at least one thing Mike isn't acknowledging, and it's literally what led up to the unintentional love confession that then led us to 10 more episodes of miscommunication because of it...

It's going to be important for him to address this guilt for him to fulfill his arc and to also close off his expectations that he has to have a romantic relationship with El in order to keep her in his life at all.

The audience themselves seeing this and being forced to face it is also going to make it a lot easier for them understand why Mike did what he did, not only because he's a queer kid in the 80's who has every reason to doubt and repress, but also because he understandably feels sort of indebted to El after everything.

It's more complex than him just falling out of love with her and falling in love with Will because of XYZ.

I think there is a lot of guilt and shame and trauma connected to their meeting and the events that followed. And addressing that is going to give a lot of closure to the ending of the story and also the beginning.

#byler #stranger things #mike wheeler #i feel like mikes arc always comes off as convoluted to most viewers bc they’re missing the whole picture #like this is literally canon #Mike went from doing something to saying other people doing it was wrong without acknowledging his role in that from the beginning #and so ppl using that development as aww he loves her now…#doesn’t even work when apparently he loved her since the moment he saw her…#not being willing to pay attention to how they are building up mikes arc #dancing around all of his actions with #everyone makes mistakes bc they’re children and that’s okay #and just leave it at that…#bc yes obviously all of the characters should be able to make mistakes and be forgiven #but were ignoring the elephant in the room here #it’s canon Mike feels guilt for how he treated el in s1 yet he hasn’t acknowledged it…#instead of acknowledging his history of doing something similar #he’s pointed out everyone else doing it as if they’re doing something wrong he himself would never do…#as if he doesn’t have first hand experience #they could have actually made this moment romantic and genuine IF they wanted to #they could have had mike open up about how he used to do that #but after getting to know el and realize she is her own person #it made him think differently and he wants to do better by her #then maybe when she confronted him in front of everyone he could have said it again or asked to be alone to say it to her directly #and to apologize for how he acted in the past by expecting stuff of her #and THATS why he is extra cautious now #and then got her reaction #instead they give fans the impression Mike is the ideal male love interest #who is perfect for el #with this moment being one of their top reasons #and it’s a scene where he avoids confronting series long built up guilt…

371 notes · View notes

carnivalcarriondiscarded · 6 months

Text

The Fourteen Hidden or "Bug" Audios In Order, With Reasoning

(i think! I'm fairly confident in this! I'm willing to Debate!)

12-14 / Howdy & Barnaby

[we know that Barnaby and Wally go to Howdy's every morning]

8-14 / Eddie & Frank

[the post office is right across from Howdy's]

6-14 / Julie & Frank

[Wally isn't scared of bugs, so he could be recruited to help with Frank's gardening problem]

1-14 / Howdy & Poppy

[Howdy mentions that he has a shipment waiting for his signature]

3-14 / Howdy & Sally

[it's possible that Wally went to Howdy's to get something for the beetles]

13-14 / Howdy & Eddie

[it looks like Wally just bought a box of apples, or something similar. Howdy signs for the shipment]

4-14 / Barnaby & Frank

[behind the pins, it looks like there's an apple or two on the ground. the shape and color is wrong for it to be tomatoes. an offering for the beetles?]

9-14 / Frank & Poppy

[the table is clear of yarn, and Frank references the damage done to his garden]

2-14 / Sally & Poppy

[there are cookies - Poppy mentioned to Frank that she might have a non-seed recipe for his butterflies]

10-14 / Julie & Sally

[Wally could have gone with Sally to help with the script reading]

5-14 / Barnaby & Eddie

[Eddie mentions that it's late in the day, and he already delivered the bowling balls]

7-14 / Eddie & Julie

[Barnaby calls, asking after Wally]

11-14 / Julie & Barnaby

[the lighting through the trees looks like afternoon/evening]

14-14 / Barnaby & Home

[the end deterioration is very final, and Barnaby references things that happened throughout his other audios]

#why yes i Did give myself a headache going through the mental gymnastics trying to make this cohesive #time to go take some tylenol! if im not immune to it yet that is!#dont make me go back to ibuprofen... it nearly gave me an ulcer on my stomach lining...#i also need everyone to know that i had 10 hour wii music playing while doing this #ANYWAY YEAH THIS HAS BEEN BUGGING ME FOR #uh. how long has it been since these audios dropped #SINCE THEN!!!#im still not entirely satisfied since some of the audios are just... so hard to place!#like some of them have indications - eddie saying its late in the day. howdy having a shipment waiting. the damage to the garden. etc #but some are just.... they could be anywhere #so i tried to follow a nonexistent through line #of 'hm. wally is with this person in this place so where would he end up next'#bc a neighbor might be like While You're Here! and thus two or so consecutive audios with the same neighbor #cause. he's already there. he might stick around or go along with them to do something else #yk. they just trade him off neighbor to neighbor #GAH IDK IDK IM NOT SATISFIED!!!#i feel like i have chunks that are Correct but agh. idk idk idk #homebogging #wh speculation #welcome home speculation #i think this counts as that!#the barnaby & eddie one - 5-14 - is whats tripping me up the most #and i think is the main thing keeping me deeply unsatisfied #cause eddie says its late in the day. so it must be near the end of the day's timeline #he already delivered the bowling balls and just aghggggg #biting biting biting-#no that one and eddie & julie - 7-14 #THE BARNABY PHONE CALL IS IMPORTANT TO PUTTING THESE IN ORDER I JUST KNOW IT #is it the first one??? like barn calls around to find wally for their morning walk? or does the howdy-barn audio come later #since they're having drinks instead of hot dogs? but they could have finished their hot dogs and stuck around for drinks-

109 notes · View notes

katabay · 7 months

Text

Omar El Akkad's forward to the Annotated Arabian Nights: Tales from 1001 Nights (trans. Yasmine Seale)

#book club tag #thought about making a book club side blog. but actually. i will keep it here but i'll keep the prev tag as it's dedicated tag #also the joy of reading and finding beautiful turns of phrases is 90% of why i include citations in much of what i post #and i want to pass that happiness on to whoever might find a similar delight in reading it. you know?? sometimes i don't have art #to go with it. i just really! loved what something had to say! i got nothing else to add! anyway. book club tag. will be the tag for this #also this is like. GOD. this is thee creative statement of the century. the drive to tell stories. i love!! this forward!!!!!!!!#i was listening to the Something Rotten spoilercast episode about Alan Wake 2 and I'm OBSESSED with everything they had to say #about how this is a game that's very aware of the creative process. it is!!!!! IT IS!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!#this is. poetry to me. i will be turning this around in my head and also chewing on AW2 forever

139 notes · View notes

quinn-pop · 8 months

Text

taking care of your demigod child is exhausting

so they have a carpool lol

other car shenanigans

oldee w the grandchildrens <3

#yes im randomly dropping my waddle oc and saying nothing #and the last one is a dhmis reference lol #this isn’t an actual headcanon or anything it just amused me so much i had to draw it #kirbyposting #my art or something #kirby #meta knight #king dedede #bandee #clawroline #elfilin #queen ripple #sailor dee #Kirby oc #metadededads #leon isn’t here because uhhh idk i like carol i think she’s cool #chatacters doing domestic things will always be so funny to me #hmm does this count im counting it #quinn does comics

79 notes · View notes

erabundus · 7 months

Text

HAPPY BLOG ANNIVERSARY!

it's officially midnight here, which means i'm allowed to post this! so ... happy one year anniversary of enduring the plague of avalon upon your dashboards! alternatively, thank you so much for giving me a place to babble about my #1 favorite comfort character who has experienced zero comfort. ( i swear i am being SO NORMAL about this. yes i did literally buy cake and party hats. ) whether we speak on the daily, you've just gotten here or anywhere in between, i want to extend my sincerest gratitude for being on this absolutely wild ride of a blog with me. there's been ups and downs, but ultimately i feel like my passion for writing has been ignited stronger than it's ever been before. i am still always so excited whenever i get the chance to log on here and create stories with all of you — and i wouldn't have that opportunity if it wasn't for this little corner of the internet you've helped make truly special.

there are so many of you i feel lucky to have met. ( and so many i would love to get to know better, too! ) i hope we can continue writing together for many more anniversaries to come. and if the day ever comes that they finally pull the plug on this cockroach of a hellsite, i'll forever remember this community as the rpc that got me to laugh at petrichor.

have a wonderful day / night! i'm sharing the cake with everyone in spirit.

#𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. ◟ ooc .◝#( i struggle sometimes because i know i tend to hide behind my muses / headcanons / ic posts --#because i am honestly just so bad about talking about / as myself & i think part of it has to do with me being really nervous / awkward )#( we all love ye olde social anxiety & the myriad of ways it manifests etc etc )#( but!! i just wanted to do / say something silly because i really do appreciate you all so much )#( even if we don't actively talk / write imagine me liking your posts as a little high five of appreciation for what you create here )#( this blog & rpc have helped me grow so much both as a writer and as a person. )#( having a place to express my interests & meet other people with similar interests has had such a positive effect on my life )#( i'm making plans to meet my best friend in person one day and it's only happening because i made this account & reblogged a gifset )#( yes it's sappy but i really do mean every word )

54 notes · View notes

bumblingbabooshka · 2 months

Text

Janeway in 'Nothing Human' vs Tuvok in 'Resolutions' There's something here I know there is I can almost wrap my teeth around it.

#I can't watch Nothing Human bc the puppet really disconcerts me #but I cannot believe Janeway really came into B'Elanna's room after all that and the FIRST thing she says...her OPENER is #'Wow it smells awful in here~!'#DUDE....................TIME AND PLACE #HEHEHHE #C'MON MAN #B'Elanna: Is [putting it behind us] an order? / Janeway [normal!]: Yes.#'And what emotion is that?' C'MON MAN!!!!!!#Janeway & Tuvok #Kathryn Janeway #Tuvok #I can see why she and Tuvok are friends #'I understand you're upset but fall in line'#You can be upset but not if effects your work #<- Something which would be fine on a regular ship but is very difficult on Voyager #I think Janeway's certain coldness or ruthlessness which can be aimed at either friend or foe is an interesting #aspect of her personality #Ex: She and B'Elanna COULD have feasibly had a more touching scene together to close out the episode but they don't #I don't know if I'm explaining myself well right now I'm a bit ill and more than a bit tired #Something about uhh maybe....people under their command vehemently and emotionally disagreeing with them/their decisions??#you can disagree with me but not if you don't follow me anyway #Voyager a ship full of contradictions #they have to all work together and they are all closer emotionally than any other starship due to their situation #but they are also still 'at work' and are expected to follow orders. It's like a 'casual' hierarchy but it's still a hierarchy #and you can't fall too far out of line bc you're someone dear to me #but you're also a valued cog in the machine #and even though you ARE valued you ARE still a cog in the machine #but you're also my dear friend. and all of these things are true at once.#all of that of course but also Janeway & Tuvok are displaying a very particular kind of shared leadership style in these moments #Janeway is obviously on the whole MUUUCH more charismatic and understanding than Tuvok but still - when push comes to shove...

21 notes · View notes

skitskatdacat63 · 9 months

Text

Boy King AU | Vettonso + Martian | 1.3k

There's something about putting the future emperor of the Holy Realm on his knees like this. About how easily he goes, how willingly, how obediently. What would his adoring public think if they could see him now. If they saw their beloved king pressed down like this, in the cramped space between Fernando's legs. When they realized their little boy king took it like he was a little concubine instead.

Fernando's bitterness is lifted away in moments like these, like taking off a heavy cloak on a winter's day. It was hard to feel humiliated about his own situation when watching Sebastian debase himself like this.

He always gives himself up so easily. When Fernando threaded his fingers through his thick curls. When he pulled them, and then when he pressed his face down further down into the vee of his legs. Sebastian rubbed his cheek into the coarse fabric of Fernando's breeches and blinked up at him. Fernando had to smother an embarrassing sound; he was just like a little cat!

Sebastian quirked his lips up into an odd little smile and slightly rose up on his knees, "What's funny?" Fernando swallowed lightly and schooled his face back into being impassive, "Nothing. As you were." Sebastian simply smirked at him and let himself be pushed back down by the fist clenched in his hair.

Fernando scoffed internally, there was only so much pleasure in putting the other man in his place when he instead acted like this, this degrading action, was his birthright. He took to ruling and indulging in carnal pleasures as if they were of equal gravity. To be privileged to hold such high station and also let himself be taken apart like this…Fernando felt embarrassed for him.

He is dragged away from his musings when Sebastian moved to settle his hands in Fernando's lap, clutching his hips over the fabric and slightly squeezing; Fernando fought against the urge to shiver. Sebastian pushed up the skirt of Fernando's waistcoat and smoothed his hands over the opening flap of his breeches.

His eyes darted up at Fernando again, a daft smile on his face. Fernando scowled at him, "What?" Seb's grin sharpened, "You could stand to be a little more gracious. This is your future emperor, and future husband might I add, kneeling for you on this dirty, depraved, derelict- ah–" Fernando tugged on his hair again and hissed, "Well then, why don't you show me how eager you are to perform your marital duties?"

Seb licked his lips, completely unconcerned by Fernando's annoyance, and unbuttoned one side of the closure to Fernando's breeches and moved to open the other–

The door to the carriage flew open, arrival announcement dying on a wheezing breath as the servant took in the image the two kings made. One splayed across the seat, exuding power, the other kneeled, debauched, between the former's legs.

One would be hard pressed to determine which was higher on the totem of power and titles.

There was something gratifying about this to Fernando, about being caught. He had been humiliated enough throughout the entire courtship, what was one more thing? And, certainly, what was one more thing if he could drag Sebastian down into the dirt with him.

"Oh Mark, don't act so abashed! It's nothing you haven't seen before, in fact, we have been in this very position not even a fortnight ago!"

Oh. Yes. That.

It was hard to be completely pleased when he remembered how Sebastian had already spent years prior to their engagement sampling the palace's ample selection of fellow high-born men. And how all those men seemed to be completely and utterly wrapped around his little finger.

Fernando released his hand from Sebastian's hair as if it had burned him. He did not understand why he felt ashamed with Mark looking in on them like this. Fernando was the one marrying Sebastian, not Mark; Mark was just a lowly courtier who had the esteemed duty of spending practically every waking hour with the brat…something he himself was decidedly not looking forward to.

Sebastian stayed kneeling, staring impassively up at Mark, still fiddling with the clasp on Fernando's breeches. Fernando gritted his teeth and looked up from where he was watching Sebastian's clever little hands; Mark stared back at him placidly.

Mark's indifference made the entire situation worse. Fernando now felt as if he was not doing anything unique, not doing anything particularly new. How many other men had Mark caught Seb with in this exact position? Fernando felt like he was just another plaything of the boy king, soon to be boy emperor, except his position was forever, permanent. He was the "Kept King", the king who only kept his throne due to the whims of a boy who doesn't even understand what power is.

Mark coughed, "Well," he says, "Your Majesty, I do believe you have a meeting to attend." Seb pouted at him and whined, "We were just getting to the main course," but still braced himself on Fernando's thighs and got up off the carriage floor.

Seb pranced down the steps Mark had placed next to the carriage, miming tripping sown the stairs, snickering when his action made Mark reflexively reach out to grab him, and then playfully skipped off the final step.

Fernando couldn't help but stare as Mark made the weirdest grimace in response, and he inexplicably felt all his mortification seep away from him. Huh. Maybe Mark is-

Seb then turned around and frowned at him, seemingly disappointed, but his eyes are deceivingly sharp, "Fernando, I regret to inform you that I have other duties I must attend to, you will simply have to wait." He then grinned up at Mark next to him and giggled as the other man stiffened when Sebastian looped both of his arms through Mark's.

He leaned all his weight on the other man, Mark not so much as shifting his weight, "Oh Mark, won't you carry me back to the palace? I'm so very tired after all the horse riding," Seb looked up at him imploringly.

Fernando observed as Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged off the man, though notably not pulling his arm from Seb's grasp, and he got the distinct feeling that this exact scene had been played out countless times before.

Fernando clenched his jaw as he watched Seb turn and saunter off, Mark trotting alongside him like a loyal dog. Fernando was supposed to be the unaffected one in this partnership, the unflustered one, the unconcerned one. And yet here he stood, in broad daylight, in a foreign kingdom, on the steps of a carriage with his breeches half unbuttoned and his cravat in disarray.

He heard a cough from beside him, jolted and looked to the side. Sebastian's loyal Horse Master stood there, lounging against the side of the carriage. Fernando had forgotten who had even been driving the carriage in the first place. After Seb has let himself be pushed down, his hair still windswept from their ride together, everything else seemed to fade away. His thoughts were reduced only to how he could mess up the younger man's hair further.

Jenson grinned at him wolfishly, and casually crossed his legs, "First time?" he inquired. Fernando glared at him. The other man laughed openly at him, "What? He's a busy man with big prospects. You're not his majesty's only conquest, you know. Now your throne on the other hand…"

Fernando seethed, it was one thing to be humiliated by the future emperor, but to be patronized by the king's horse boy? No. It would simply not do. He closed his eyes in annoyance, pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaled, and prepared a speech about how he was not about to be talked down to by a man who didn't even have a throne to speak of!

But when he opened his eyes again and opened his mouth to begin his tirade, Jenson was already wandering away to tend to the horses. Dios mío, Fernando was not mentally prepared to spend the rest of his life with all of these impertinent morons.

#i love how i kept saying to people: no no i shant write any fic for this. only art.#me like two weeks later: hey guys :)#this is just: i was sitting in class and had a drawing idea but then im obv not drawing *this* in class so my brain went into narrative mod #not exactly 'baby's first ficlet!!!' but moreso ive not written in a while so i hope its alright???#but aaahhh this was actually pretty fun!! idk i think it was bcs i was also being brainrotted by the image of seb kneeling....#maybe ill draw it. but it felt like something that needed the context of narrative and not just oo here is a drawing!#anyways you can always ask me for a directors cut-(PLEASE PLEAE BEGGING PLEASE)#see this is why im not cut out for writing fic #its not like i dont think it can speak for itself. more that im just an overly reflective person who wants to explain all my thoughts #if i wrote fic itd really be just: chapter 1. chapter 1.5 chapter 2. chapter 2.5 #anyways i think its pretty obvious but this is before their wedding and just like peak bitterness.#well not peak. peak would be the first year- first few months of their marriage #but this is fernando who is only just realizing how naive all his expectations of seb were and getting a glimpse of his future #but mostly: mindgames and power play and: whos actually really winning?#also my god jense is literally the best chara in this au. he is vibing and basically just witnessing ye olde reality tv #mark and fernando are always in a weird powerplay with seb(even if seb isnt even consiously doing so) and jense is just free from it all #hmm now how does one go about tagging fic #vettonso #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #f1 #formula 1 #martian #sebmark #also idk why im always so concerned abt tagging when im basically just writing this for my little boy king following i have somehow formed #hahaha! it is art to me!:#catie.art.#boy king au

66 notes · View notes