#and write an episode where he just fucking loses it and causes a woman to kill herself
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dr who is like….. really bad sometimes ??
#txt#not all the time. i loved eccleston and most of tenant has been good so far. But#the shit with the doctor not only being a cool silly guy who likes to hop around and help people#but also The Most Inportant Guy Ever#who warrants near-constant praise from literally everyone#is really irritating#bc then they like.. try to remember what it was like when the doctor was like. a normal flawed person with a complicated history#and write an episode where he just fucking loses it and causes a woman to kill herself#and i know he will probably be totally redeemed and forgiven by the next episode or he’ll die or whatever and it won’t be brought up again#it’s really fucking sloppy lol it’s not very good writing#maybe i’ll change my mind by the end of this arc or whatever#but fucl it’s like you’re away from donna for 2 weeks and you become an egotistical time lord supremacist freak? its so boring I Don’t Care#i’m not making a watch tag for this I don’t give a fuc
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The manga: a college guy meets his childhood friend, who was formerly a boy but is now a woman, and has run away from home after an unspecified disagreement with her family which has left her with a significant amount of trauma; it's implied she was bullied heavily in the time since they've last seen each other.
But don't worry, she's not trans! She just got an illness which turned her into a woman!
The manga: a high school boy with an interest in make-up uses his gloomy, depressed (male) childhood friend as a model to improve his skills. This causes said friend to have an "awakening" and start dressing as a woman, and to overall be a much happier, brighter, outgoing person.
But don't worry, the friend is not trans! He's just a boy who crossdresses because his childhood friend likes him better that way!
The manga: a high school boy joins a club where the members can turn into magical girls, which in his case involves physically transforming into a girl. When in girlmode, he's much happier and enjoys his life much more, and overall prefers staying in girl mode; when the ability to transform is temporarily taken away from him, he sinks into a deep depressive episode.
But don't worry, he's not trans! He's just a boy who enjoys being a girl!
The manga: a college student loses a bet and has to crossdress for a night out on the town, and meets and hooks up with a butch girl; they fall in love and start dating. The boy always crossdressed when they meet, and starts enjoying being "treated like a girl" in the relationship and starts crossdressing even when he doesn't have to meet his girlfriend and enjoys activities such as clothes shopping and make-up and putting on nail polish.
But don't worry, he's not trans! He's just a boy who crossdresses to please his butch girlfriend!
The manga: a guy is magically turned into a girl as a result of saving his best friend, the crown prince, from an assassination attempt. The prince decides that he has to take responsibility, and asks the new girl to marry him; despite being smitten she refuses, wanting to date first. She is later offered a way to go back to being a man, but when she does turn back she's disgusted by her own appearance and depressed all the time, ultimately deciding to stay a girl.
But don't worry, she's not trans! She's just a boy who's been magically turned into a woman! And decides not to turn back when she can! Because she's not trans! Somehow!
"But we can't write trans women in manga! It's just not something that you do!"
[Image description: A one-comic panel. Gengar is glaring at a crowd of faceless characters; from the crowd, a speech balloon emerges, saying "You could if you weren't a fucking coward". End ID.]
#manga#gender manga#trans manga#I am so mad about this#I woke up and chose violence#fuck everything about this#transgender
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I thought I had seen it all until I realized there were people who actually thought Laena killing herself in arguably the most painful way possible (burning to death) was okay. Not only was the way she died different from the book (still tragic btw) but also a lot more traumatizing. Making the decision to burn yourself to death really says something about your mental state (and the fact that this happens after she admits to Daemon she knows she’s his second choice 🥴).
This situation really traumatized everyone. Daemon who watched (not really Laena’s fault because she didn’t know he was there but still) her daughters Baela and Rhaena (losing a parent especially a mother is hard enough but to loose a parent by means of suicide is ten times harder) and then of course Laena herself who choose to burn to death!
It seemed as if through episodes 5-7 the writes weren’t sure whether they wanted Daemon and Laena to be happy together. Because you can see in a few scenes where Daemon and Laena genuinely look happy to be around one another and then there are others where they look miserable. Also another thing that bugged was how in the book after Baela and Rhaena are born Daemon returns to King's Landing to get the crown’s (Viserys’s) favor bestowed upon his children. Whereas in the show the last time Daemon has talked to let alone seen Viserys was ten years ago. It’s almost as if it was another subtle (but effective) way to say how Show!Daemon is constantly putting his pride above the betterment of his own family.
When it comes to Balea and Rhaena the way I've had to hyper analysis both (but especially Rhaena’s) body language in order to get a sense of their personality because they barely talk is infuriating. The way they are being used as arm candy is infuriating. Their relationship with Daemon is infuriating. We have not seen Daemon interact with daughters in six years. Not only that but one of those daughters feels as if he ignores her while he shipped the other one off to Driftmark (I know warding is a common thing in Westeros but when you take into account Daemon’s relationship with his daughters it really makes him appear more shitty).
His relationship with Laena was also so poorly portrayed. Not only did it serve no purpose but to make Daemon look like a ass but it also made Laena (a black women) seem like the miserable second choice (to the white woman).
If that was infuriating/disappointing enough after her death (that he very traumatized by) he not only fucks Rhaenyra but also marries her. Laena and Harwin both just died. Laenor (who Rhaenyra claimed to love) just lost his sister, Balea and Rhaena their mother, and Jace and Luke (Joffrey too but he’s too small to understand) their biological father.
Speaking of Laenor I was not of a fan of how they made him appear to be a druken bum who abandons the children he swears he loves (especially since said man is a black man🙄).
Yeah, they loved it and thought what she did was okay and bada** and yah know not 100% because she was likely severely depressed herself/out of her mind from a difficult labor because they wanted Laena out of the way for their ship(in large part due to racism).
Yes, Laena dies in the book(s), but she dies with her husband by her side after he helps her ride on the back of Vhagar one last time per her wishes. She’s loved by him. She’d never traumatize him or their children because she's not some poor pitiful unwanted woman. They cut that out in favor of “let me go light myself on fire because my husband doesn’t love me.”
The treatment of Laena by the showrunners and the fandom is so foul considering how before her race-bending people said that she was Daemon’s most beloved wife(and the woman he loved the most cause they liked to pretend that Nettles was just lust). People acknowledged her importance to him, but since she became Blackish she was his second choice and Daemon never loved her as he did Rhaenyra(the woman he ended up choking out after she gave birth and will eventually abandon in favor of the actual woman he loves but I’m getting ahead of myself 😗).
Her relationship with Vhagar(a literal dragon) was her most important relationship. Or it’s so sad that we didn’t get to see Rhaenyra and Daemon slobbering on each other as Laena sat back and watched I mean it’s sad that we didn’t get to see Laena worshiping Rhaenyra I mean it’s so sad that Laena and Rhaenyra didn’t happen(little evidence for that it happened in the book). That’s what we should really be focusing on.
Who cares about her relationship with Daemon or her girls(which Rhaenyra’s rachet fans like to claim as hers because Queenie gave birth to a lizard and Laena was the only one who actually gave Daemon daughters. So they cope by saying Baela and Rhaena are her legacy and not show!Laena who birthed and raised them). Laena’s such a bada** 🙃
Sadly because of the fandoms meth induced delusions, I mean 100% canon observations/commentary on how Dumbnyra are soulmates and Daemon changes for Rhaenyra his one true love didn’t pan out how they wanted to(choke gate was instant karma🤣), they still harp on about Laena even though she’s second choice.
The show screwed Laena and her girls all the way over and the fandom used that to further their delusions. It’s not okay, but there is still hope for Baela and Rhaena and in the end, they've done a crap job with all the characters(so I feel a little less salty about the situation).
(I do hope that Daemon acknowledges how he didn’t treat Laena how he should’ve to them and says that he was distant because they reminded him too much of her. Again it’s not okay, but a conversation like that is needed).
Laenor’s characterization🫠 The only reason why they didn't kill him off(and why they made him into a “deadbeat”) is that they wanted to make Rhaenyra look better. It looks extremely bad to have her ordering her husband's death(or if she turns a blind eye to Daemon murdering him) so that she could marry Daemon.
Allegedly he’s going to die off-screen this season so that whole plotline was done solely to protect Rhaenyra’s image.
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Hi hello I am obsessed with your Bakugan AU omg. Love the new spins you’ve taken on the characters, grounding them more in reality! :D (and the wide diversity in gender identities and orientation is wonderful.) It’s also super interesting to see them aged up so they have jobs/higher education to be worrying about and such, it adds an interesting element imo.
Could we hear more about Alice? What’s her life like outside of Bakugan - did she work with Mikhail or have a job/education of her own? Does her whole deal with Masquerade differ at all to canon? (I always hated the way they just kind of write him off soon after the reveal instead of exploring how Alice deals with it more. One episode is not enough to fix the trauma, lmao, c’mon guys.)
YOOO THANK YOU SO MUCH I'm so happy you like it!!!!! These characters basically grew up with me so I love projecting aspects of my life onto them!
I'm also so glad you asked about Alice cus the show did her dirty in both the first and subsequent seasons. To be revealed as such a menacing threat and one of the big bads, only to be demoted to a side character and then a picture on a screen is simply insulting for the best character ever in Bakugan.
So basically my Alice grew up with her grandfather, who's field of physics requires him to study in remote and distant areas with no phones, no wifi, no outside signals (I think some places that communicate with satellites out in space are built in the middle of bumfuck nowhere because you really can't have electronic interference). As such, Alice grew up extremely sheltered, passing her days by playing with imaginary friends and reading books (favorite was alice in wonderland, wouldn't you know it).
In Russia, she didn't get a job nor did she go to university; she was a quick study and with the books (and harassing Mikhail) she kind of became a physics prodigy. She was a homebody with anxiety and agoraphobia, only comfortable with the familiar and the safety of her bed. That is, until Mikhail disappears. Somehow she finds the courage to leave her home and go to a whole new country to find where he ended up. She sees and meets more people than she ever thought possible, and grows to like it.
She gets a job at Runo's family's cafe, where she meets all sorts of people, and gets introduced to the Brawlers. I'd like to think that she takes a couple uni classes before Vestroia destroys the fabric of reality. Between S1 and S2 she actually goes to school and speedruns getting a PhD. When we see her after a timeskip she has short hair and is going into a program for dimensional physics (not yet a real program). She works in tandem with Marucho and Mikhail to monitor and maintain the dimensional rifts required to sustain Bakugan's existence in their universe.
As for her connection with Masq I like the idea that Masq was the manifestation of her negative emotions (Silent Core n allat). In this case, her being so drawn to the battlefield clashes with her belief that the game is dangerous; it's the cause of her grandfathers disappearance after all. Her general shyness and fear of the unknown prevents her from reaching her true potential. The Silent Core separates her desires from the ones she embraces and the ones she wants to reject. Enter Masqerade, the embodiment of her desire to battle! Stripped of everything except bloodlust, this form answers to the Silent Core and fucking wrecks the leaderboards because guess what, Alice is actually a very good brawler!
While Masq is fucking shit up, Alice is left in the dark. Her different aspects remember different things, have different abilities, but are fundamentally the same person. As the leaderboards settle and people start losing their Bakugan, Alice's fear of battling increases until Masq is nigh unstoppable. It's until a little scuffle with Exedra where his image flickers...just a little bit...to reveal a very scared woman...
Anyway basically Alice has to embrace her desire to kick ass and becomes one with Masq. Sounds corny and probably is but you can have her accept this part of herself slowly, like picking up battling, which weakens the Silent Core's hold on her, until the final fight where Masq collapses afterwards to reveal that it was her all along! Hydronoid recognizes her as his true master and a new player - Alice Gehabich replaces Masquerade as the number one player! She's still pretty shy (I don't like how people treat introversion as something they need a character arc to get over, some people are just like that smh) so her media appearances are few and far between. However, you can reliably catch her on the battlefield maintaining her number one spot.
Also in New Vestroia Alice replaces Marucho because I cannot fathom for the life of me why he was taken on the trip of a lifetime while my girl, who used to be the NUMBER ONE PLAYER IN THE WORLD, MIGHT I ADD, stays inside the house and babysits some alien.
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for the ao3 wrapped writers ask game: 17 and/or 29 pretty please!
17. Your favorite character to write this year?
Mmmm, this year?? Vilgefortz. I had a very Specific Itch to scratch and golly, I sure did indulge myself—and @reinvent-and-believe and @sidprescot too, mwahahaha. The TWN Thanedd episode came and went with Vilgefortz. His scenes with Geralt worked me into a froth because I absolutely needed more because how much I loved their book scenes. And honestly it’s not right how truncated Vilgefortz' dialogue is in the show.
And thus my brain overheated and Ouroboros happened.
It really was that saying—write for that group of like 3 or 5 people who are gonna lose their minds. And they did. I think @littlestsnicket's brain melted and I'm not sure @sidprescot will be the same lol. It was great. I winked so hard at my readers that my eye fell out and @reinvent-and-believe picked up my eye, cleaned it off and handed it back to me and @sidprescot is just foaming at the mouth and brain the whole fucking time (ilu all).
I also managed to post more about writing/drafting this fic than anything else I’ve written in the last few years, lol god. I have 15 million witcher thoughts at any given time (mostly about yennefer and yennskier and geraskier) but this is what i manage to post the most about, sdflakjsdf.
I love Witcher canon blending and riffing on themes, okay. My blending is not to everyone's tastes, but yeaaahhh I had quite the time writing Vilgefortz this year. All the Continental art history was so much fun to weave throughout the story.
29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?
Here’s my favorite passage from chapter 1 of Ouroboros, it’s about 900 words. I loved starting the fic off with the TWN characterizations and then running with it back to some book vibes and all my feelings about all the canons and aaaand and…lots of things. Love this whole passage. Indulgent.
“Doesn’t appear to be much glory in this gallery,” Geralt said, gesturing at the vertical diptych he was studying.
Vilgefortz nodded and strode closer to point out the relevant details. There was a curious furrow to Geralt’s brow that made Vilgefortz more confident in encouraging Geralt to voice his thoughts.
“This one is called Ships in a Desert and it’s a very controversial piece with multiple meanings. Each canvas represents a different interpretation of First Landing and encourages the viewer to engage with different possibilities. This bottom artwork is clearly not historically accurate because as you can see the ship and its wreckage is strewn across a desert landscape rather than the coast of Redania. The artist Yona Skanfall also intended this scene to subvert Ithlinne’s Prophecy.
“You can see in the foreground a future where the Continent’s water has dried up and its inhabitants are boiling their own skin as a direct result of humanity wielding Chaos. People did not take kindly to this kind of heresy against the prevailing narrative about the White Frost. But there were those who were ardent defenders of this piece because it held true to the original prophecy’s themes of a calamitous end by humanity’s hubris. But Aen Ithlinnespeath was a sacred elven prophecy and any minute deviations from the story caused an uproar. Yona certainly made no friends by implying the Hen Ichaer died before they could save the world—note the desiccated seed pod in this dune. If this scene alone had not gotten Yona banned from two kingdoms for smearing elven canon and laying waste to the kings of her day—see the scattered crowns in the sand here and here—her choice to depict Jan Bekker as a woman gave others all the more reason to ostracize her.”
“Why were people offended by Jan Bekker as a woman?” Geralt asked.
“Why indeed? Vanity. Sexism. Most primary sources and historical records suggested that Jan Bekker was actually quite a hideous man. In the early days of the Brotherhood mages had not yet mastered the art of cosmetic transformation. Many saw their ugliness as intrinsic to their character, especially those first survivors who bore the scars of scurvy from their journey. To remove that element and depict Jana Bekker as a buxom heroine was antithetical to their view of history.”
“You’re telling me mages are superficial in more ways than one? Color me surprised.”
Vilgefortz laughed and found himself warming even more to the witcher. He bit the inside of his lip and stepped closer, brushing against Geralt’s elbow.
“There have been other interpretations of Jana over the years. I myself have collected several woodcuts of her and Nina Fioravanti in mid-coitus from a series called Ars Orgasmica. I could show them to you, if you’d like.”
Geralt didn’t verbalize a witty retort, though Vilgefortz could sense the words propositions and pornography floating on the surface of his mind. Geralt turned his attention on the other painting from Ships in a Desert. He gestured. “Tell me about this one.”
Vilgefortz tore his gaze away from Geralt, carefully gathering his words. “This painting depicts a slightly different interpretation of her original interpretation. The wreckage of First Landing is in the foreground and the bodies of the ship's crew are barely visible in the sand. The emphasis here is on the future that was lost. Notice the verdant hills in the background, never to be discovered by the first mages. Perhaps if there was a lighthouse in this desert sea, these two ships would not have crashed and fallen to the dunes and become lost to memory. Perhaps they could have met, shared resources, and survived in spite of the hardship. They could have thrived and built a new world together.”
“The hills are better off without the mages,” Geralt murmured.
Vilgefortz turned back to Geralt and nodded solemnly. “A solid interpretation. The commonality amongst these pieces is suffering. Yona depicted it well.”
“Your lot is notorious for causing suffering.”
“Truer words have never been spoken.”
“Truth is something this ball is in short supply of.”
“Tonight there’s so much more on offer,” Vilgefortz said.
“If I wanted to have my fill of lies and subterfuge, I would have stayed downstairs eating from the bottomless pit of illusory caviar.”
Every one of Geralt’s conversational parries aroused more desire in Vilgefortz’s chest. He’d hoped to keep the witcher’s attention for more serious matters tonight, but the wry humor was an unexpected delight. Enticing and novel in a way that Vilgefortz had known others had been charmed by, but never believed he would also find so alluring. He wanted more of Geralt.
“I agree. Stay with me. At my table we would feast upon spiced boar and toast to our communion. No illusions, only the boundless companionship of two men appreciating art and history together.”
A grimace passed across Geralt’s features, like Vilgefortz’s words were little more than indigestion. The firelight from the braziers cast a warm glow upon Geralt’s face, and there Vilgefortz saw a world beyond the staid neutrality that Geralt wore like a tattered cape. A place where two outcasts would be respected and admired. A time where Vilgefortz could lose himself beneath the witcher’s broad hands and taste Geralt’s scars for the first time.
“If you’ll excuse me, I need to go take a shit. Must be the caviar.”
read on ao3
ask game - ao3 wrapped
#lmao i have favorite passages from every chapter of this fic god i am in love with my fic so much and it exists and i finished it. love#i am unhinged about this fic ok#answerdora#ao3 wrapped#ao3 wrapped 2023#writing#writing meme#fic meme#vilgywank
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This Just In, We’re Back to Libertys Kids While Higher Than Ben Franklins Kite
New York New York
Gotta be one of my favorites because of how smooth that guy was
Why isn’t this the national anthem? I want someone singing this before every football game
American history but make it so sugarcoated that everyone gets diabetes
Mom I like your friends house
Black Dick, your telescope sir
James that collar looks great, stop whining and be the queen you are
James is like fuck she’s conservative af too
Omg that cute yankee soldiers looking at me ☺️
I’m just gonna get out if this march to try an get some
James should have started cackling after her ‘I’m English’ comment. It would make Udneys comeback way smoother.
“I give you my strong arm for your protection” “BRO WTF GET BACK IN LINE”
Almost got it Udney.
“Can I come?” “NO”
Strategy is important
“This is a PAID internship” “Ok hell ya”
“What do they know about running a country?” Mrs. Radcliffe spitting facts.
Whot are you doin in ma swamp?
They really let Henri get snatched like that 
“Because they can’t fly” Damn
“General Howe is welcome to him” DAMN
Henri wtf
Henri blew up the Sept, not Cersei
“I found Ugly and he told me what happened.”
Welp, the British have New York
Black Dick took Manhatten.
One Life To Lose
Ah yes, this was when they saw a nice man get hanged for creepin’
I feel like the sound of his neck snapping and the sight of his limp body would make Sarah faint if they were ballsy enough to include that
Wow these dudes were fat
And the proof is in the pudding
Oy the drunkin sailor be back
Sarah is so bored
The Brits are stealing American men
The old man was like “Get tf out of here”
Nathan cuts in so randomly it does not feel natural.
She did the full curtsy for him
Mr. Hale so hot he’s got all the girls curtsying.
Nathan, why are you telling them all this?
Sarah is totally flirting with him.
So wait, Admiral Howe and General Howe are different people
God damn it how did I not know this
They’re spying on a spy. The irony
Nathan WTF
Don’t tell me this is actually how he got caught is it
There come these three stooges
I think James has been kidnapped way more than Sarah could ever be despite her damsel in distress demeanor
Nathan is ballsy af
James said I’m staying
Sarah said I’m gonna hitchhike.
Here it comes ya’ll
“He’s actually quite gracious and cultured when you get to know him.” Ok Jane Austin.
And now they’re Hillips shippers
“So, when is the big day?” And then it transitions to them years later at the alter, Sarah wearing a nice green dress with gold butterflies and a veil and James in a nice blue suit with a hat, and you hear the priest say ‘I pronounce thee Man and Wife.’
“Anyways, Nathan’s hangin out with the redcoats today.”
These men are so burning in hell for how they treated these people
They wouldn’t even draw in a noose
The sight of Nathan at the gallows causing Sarah to cling to James’ arm tho
Alright James time to write this article
Captain Molly
Ok but an episode where Henri accidentally joins a mafia
THE JAM STAYS
Ben be going on another cruise
Sarah’s insulted Washington won’t let her come
And here comes Molly
Henri giving off autistic vibes here
Rosemary, that is French silk you crotch goblin
Damn Molly
“Sarah, she’s English!”
“I don’t ask permission to do nothin’!” Sarah, let those words inspire your character.
Dad Moses mode activated
James got passionate there
You can forget about those eight to ten kids Molly
Well Sarah now you’re seeing a lil bit about why King George is evil
They brought in tHe bagpipes for their funerals.
I’m surprised the redcoats didn’t hold all those women and children hostage.
James is so happy Sarah’s alive
Molly was another woman school didn’t teach me about.
American Crisis
Henri has a soldiers spirit
Moses you’re too calm about Henri running away
Traveling by ship must have been mentally trying for everyone.
These dudes are not ok
Henri 😭
When a little French boy smelling of onions sneaks into your camp in a barrel.
Thomas Paine is back 🩷
Writers block is a bitch
Do you think Paine would like the movie Soul
“We’re walking to Philadelphia.”
Omg Moses no
A printing press is large enough to bone on. Just saying.
Tom said “I will beat yo ass in with this log.”
Imagine putting all those letters together by hand
“Hold your breeches”
#sarah phillips#libertys kids#james hiller#american history#liberty's kids#henri lefebvre#george washington#thomas paine#moses#ben franklin#john adams
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Exploring Con O'Neill's Filmography Day #?-Pie In The Sky S02 Ep08
WARNINGS: Gun violence, alcoholism, pain meds addition, disability due to gun violence, workplace ableism, slight comment that could maybe be taken as transphobia? I'm also going to add slight passive suicidal ideation for the character Con plays.
CON IS SEMI-LIKEABLE IN THIS WHICH IS A SHOCK.
This is a cop/crime procedural, but unlike the ones I grew up with in the US in the mid to late 2000s/2010s this has no claws. Seriously, the main plot is driven by pudding. I align more with ACAB sentiments (obviously), and this does fall into Copoganda. But I'm here for Con, and not much else.
I also didn't catch the name of his character till the very end, as this had no subtitles and I'm bad with accents.
As always, I'll be active in the comments if you want to discuss the episode. Especially if you deal with chronic pain/a disabling injury as I have a bone to pick with some scenes, and want to know how close to life they are.
If you haven't watched it, it's less than an hour and something to turn your brain off while watching. Spoilers ahead.
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Pie In The Sky S02 Ep08 (1995, the same year as 3 Steps to Heaven. Jesus Christ, this man's career is wild)
IS HE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE. Based on what I know about crime procedurals, he's the murder.
(Con's character based on the first scene) He seems fun
Who is this mysterious man in the window
When is this? 80s? British 80s
Love the lesbians
That cop smiled more than any I've ever met
I know nothing about this show, and god, I hope I don't need context
Look at that helmet, how do people take cops seriously in England? I'd just point and laugh.
Why does he have a ceramic rooster?
Are these old ladies going to get murdered.
That guy's side part is really unfortunate
A CANADIAN COP, look at the Mountie
WHY IS SHE CARRYING PUDDING
Mommy issues to the rescue
This is going to be a phoenix write case
I LOVE RED SHIRT LADY'S HAIR
(Con's scene that you've seen online in gifs 'One...Homosexual', you know the one) I LOVE THIS ASSHOLE
YOU ARE THE HOMOSEXUAL
Why is talked to him like a child? Rude as shit. Even when he's acting weird, he probably has a reason. Hear him out and talk.
Slightly transphobic line? Idk how to read that.
Oh good, they're writing checks and not cashing them, Girlbosses
Look, I've just met this old guy(our detective inspector protagonist), but he's fun
It's a British show, there must be a character named JOHN.
IS HE A DETECTIVE AND A CHEF? Oh, that's his wife. God, I thought I was stretched thin. Look at him.
CON? (Con at a firing range?)
HOT
WHAT THE FUCK, why is he shaking?
At least he's wearing ear protection, (DI sneaks up behind him, and taps on his shoulder to alert him to his presence while still holding a gun) DONT FUCKING DO THAT, WHY WOULD YOU TAP ON HIM. HOLDING A GUN.
Con has a need for speed.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY GUN SCENES WITH CONS CHARACTER. WHO IS HE KILLING
Nvm, that ladies hair is too tall
ARE THEY JUST STEALING/shoplifting? LAME IDIOTS.
Why is Con's character just keeping guns in cars. Shouldn't he know where to hide them better? Cause he already carries one on him. The trunk one is probably just in case he loses his main one?
THE AUDIO STING
Oh, he was a cop. Got injured and is now paranoid. Fair, but unsafe as hell.
They are such shitty shoplifters. She tried to make eye contact with the woman she was stealing from.
Do English people just make a shit ton of Bread Pudding.
Aww they're sisters and not lesbians. Rude.
I'm just sitting here imagining how funny this scene could have been. 5 guns fall out of his wheelchair as she takes it out. "Those are for work"
Are they going to fuck or is one of them going to get shot, I'm getting mixed messages
(A benching rack in the corner)He's getting his gains, I respect it.
2 Con characters addicted to pain meds.
IS HE ALWAYS A SIMP
Pain meds+ Alcohol is got a good look
You didn't choose this but you chose how you react buddy.
Go to therapy
Best DI in media. Stealing Criminal Old Ladies Pudding Recipe
(A chef says a xenophobic line about foreign recipes) What's wrong with foreign recipes? All your shit is bland.
WHY IS IT SO LIQUIDY. GOD I HATE HOT PUDDING
Maybe I'm bad with age, but Con and the detective seem like the same age. He doesn't seem ten years older than her.
He doesn't have to be a sad bastard, yeah, but Con's trapped playing that role. So if we can fix these characters 'problems' In the next twenty minutes I'll be shocked
He's jealous cause you're young and not jaded to the system like he is. You know. Like every ex cop/military/government character.
THAT CUT WAS JARRING (From a peaceful dinner to Con trashing in bed)
WHAT THE FUCK.
Who gets out of a car like that, slowly pulls out a gun, and fires like that? WHAT WAS HIS PLAN? DID HE HAVE DRUGS HE WAS HIDING? WHY??!?!?!?!
THAT WAS THE CHEST. HE SHOULD BE DEAD.
Go to therapy, Jesus Christ. The station would pay for it, and this is interrupting your daily well-being.
(The car shop guy goes to his house to hand over his keys personally, they do a weird double-take glance thing) That interaction post-nightmare felt gay? Is that just me?
What the fuck does 'twirlers' mean? Am I just not British enough to understand that?
73 arrests for shoplifting and they're still this shit? WHAT?
4 pistoles seem low based on his history. But I know a guy who has two hundred firearms anywhere from black powder with buckshot to pistols, and he's just a nurse...Well, maybe rural North West US is not the normal standard to judge by.
ALSO DON'T HIDE A FIREARM LIKE THAT. Does it just slide around in his trunk?
They're such jackasses to him, no wonder he's rude
THE FUCKER THAT SHOT HIM IS ALMOST OUT OF JAIL? MURDER HIM CON
TRUE THO, as long as he stays a cop feeling like this there's no point. He is just kind of stuck feeling like his life has no meaning. It's shit, but if he finds no point to living then yeah. He'll never move on
ANGRY CON. YESSSSS!!!!!
I was half expecting him to pull out a gun
THE OLD MAN HAS DRIP
THAT GUY IS GIANT
The nice thing about being a disabled cop here is no one suspects you and socially we're trained to ignore people with disabilities. It's something our governments actually uses in day to day life. I kinda hoped they cover that more.
I don't think you can pull out credit cards like that. Any bank would be suspicious.
WHY IS HE STILL AFTER THE RECIPIES
HE'S ONLY ASKING THEM FIRST SO THEN HE CAN GET THE FUCKING RECIPE AND THEN ARREST HIM. What in the Paddington bear logic is this this?
Con was playing a character named Ian? Cool.
Also, NOW WE HAVE ANOTHER CON CHARACTER DOING DUMB GUN SHIT. That brings us up to 5 characters baby (Telestar, Vengence is Mine, Blood Brothers, 3 Steps To Heaven, now this). The worst part is the only Con character I trust with a gun is Val. Cliff is responsible, but I still don't trust him. Izzy can shoot, and due to hijinks in the story, he might accidentally shoot someone.
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Overall:
Took a minute to understand what everything was going on. They brought up a fun idea about how cops use PR. I wish Ian's issues were resolved in the end. He just kind of get's his groove back and suddenly everything's 'okay'. He still hates himself, and struggles with a pain pill and alcohol addiction.
Ian trying to prove he's still useful is giving me some hope for Izzy season 2. Con pulls it off really well. You see Ian's frustration with needing to ask for help, and pushing himself past his limits. You can feel frustration from Ian knowing he's being sent on this baby case for essentially bullshit reasons. He spoke up and upper management essentially remembered he existed. This is a really fun way to use Con's chops as a serious, but fun character.
The old lady plot was weird but fun. Girlbosing legends. Not knowing the protagonist, and being surprised when he rerouted a case just to get a recipe was funny.
Overall an enjoyable episode, besides a slightly transphobic joke, it's not as 90s as it could be. Also, he and the car salesmen guy at the end there had as much chemistry as he and the detective had. Get you a guy who can do both.
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Con:8/10. Fun, angry guy. Wish he got therapy.
Story: 6-7/10. Fun, I know depicting cops like this is exactly how they get away with doing awful shit, but seeing a cop story that wasn't life and death(besides Ian possible hurting himself) was fun. Felt new, at the very least. I knew nothing about this show but could still watch it.
Cinematography: 6/10. Of its era, but you get the feeling of putting on a warm coat. This is something that they would play at a hotel, on the free stations. You've definitely seen something like this before.
Overall I'd say around a 7. If I rank it, low B. Just cause he's not a real protagonist in the series, and I want to show love to the shit Con put his whole chest into. But it wasn't a bad watch. Fun contained story.
@ivegotnonameidea thanks for the recommendation ;)
#pie in the sky#con o'neill#con oneill#one day ill come up with a tag so y'all can find all of these 'reviews'#I swear#Con's Conography#Ian Lefebvre
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Is there anyone out there writing critical She-Hulk essays that aren’t right-wing anti-woke click-bait diatribes? Cause the show is definitely bad, but I don’t trust any of those people to accurately explain why it’s bad.
Like, the main problem that permeates every episode is how disjointed it all feels. Almost like they were supposed to be an hour long but they were gutted until there were barely enough scenes to tell a comprehensible narrative in half the time.
Like, in episode 1 Bruce and Jen crash their car because of a spaceship that showed up out of nowhere and was never seen again. Like, the implication is that it came from Sakaar for Hulk’s help and in the next episode we see him leaving to presumably deal with whatever whoever came on the ship wanted. But it feels really weird that that ship just came out of nowhere and then nobody came out to like, check on the person they presumably came to see who just crashed his car, or tried to find him again after losing sight of him or came to the beach house to bother him for all the weeks/months he was training with Jen.
Or when Jen Hulks out, blacks out, wakes up outside of a bar with Bruce nowhere in sight, then five minutes later Hulks out and blacks out again and wakes up in another country with Bruce.
It just feels like a lot of pieces are missing. Like there’s big gaps in time where it’s not obvious what happened in between and how we got from point A to point B or why nothing apparently happened in between A and B. Like we don’t really see Jen’s reactions to her first Hulk-outs, or see if she hurt anyone or destroyed anything, we just hear some little aside after the fact that she was lucid. We don’t know what caused her to black out if she doesn’t have memory loss like Bruce does or why she was out long enough for Bruce to find her and take her to another country other than plot convenience.
Then there’s stuff like when Titania busts into the courtroom out of nowhere, doesn’t give a reason why she’s there, news reports after the fact don’t mention her motive, and no one ever asks the motive. I think I read someone speculate that Jen’s opposition sent her to disrupt the proceedings in order to cause a mistrial because they knew Jen was going to win her case. But even if that gets revealed eventually, it still makes Jen and everyone around her look stupid for not questioning the random unexplained courtroom attack, especially now that she’s appeared again after having her charges inexplicably dropped. It’s like the writers are still in that mindset where they think they can’t foreshadow things because then the audience might guess their precious fucking twist.
Then there’s Jen’s dating life in the latest episode. Like, she goes on a bunch of bad dates with dudes who only want to talk about themselves or only care about her body, then meets one nice guy who actually cares about her as a person, but then out of nowhere suddenly it turns out he only wanted her for her body after all. But also like, he knew she wasn’t She-Hulk all the time, because they talked about it on their date, and he acts like that’s a dealbreaker as if she can’t still be She-Hulk any time she wants. Like, even if she’s only like that 25% of the day, that’s more than you’re gonna get with any other regular human woman. It’s not like full-time She-Hulks are in abundance all over LA. The only way this could conceivably make sense would be if his problem was actually that he thought she was another shapeshifting con-artist like the one who posed as MTS, but that’s not what was suggested.
Also Jen’s kind of unsufferable. She uses She-Hulk to get dates but resents people for liking She-Hulk so why was she even going out with them in the first place? And the main issue she has with guys is that they only want to talk about themselves but then the only guy she’s interested in is someone who lets her do all the talking. She doesn’t want to actually get to know a guy or have real back-and-forth conversations. She’s just as selfish and self-absorbed as all the pricks she rejected.
Then there’s the way cases are handled. I think this show could be really amazing if it actually took its premise seriously and explored well thought-out, realistic legal ramifications of a world with superheroes, and I’m disappointed that that’s not the show’s focus, but I don’t like to complain that a thing is bad because it’s not a completely different thing it never tried to be.
But even if the show prefers to focus more on Jen’s personal life than her professional life, they could at least put SOME thought into the 5 minutes per-episode they actually dedicate to her job. Like, when she wins the case for Abomination’s parole I would’ve thought she or Emil would do a “Wait, what?” upon hearing the stipulation that Emil can never transform again. Like, they let Hulk do it even though he tore up that city in Age of Ultron and they just saw that he’s equally as capable of controlling his super-form and isn’t inherently dangerous like that. But if something triggers an involuntary transformation response in him, or if he needs to defend himself or wants to save people, you know, like an Avenger, he goes back in the slammer? Under what precedent can they even stipulate that? Doesn’t that violate his right to bodily autonomy? They let Tony Stark fly around with wrist-mounted missile launchers he can put on or take off at will but Abomination isn’t allowed to just exist as a thing Emil’s body does naturally since his body chemistry was irreversibly altered?
That could’ve been the start of an arc about Jen realizing the gravity of her new position. That it’s not just flashy, frivolous publicity for her firm getting in the way of more serious and important cases she could be prosecuting. Her work could have major implications for the state of human rights affecting countless super-powered beings, including herself.
But nah, none of that gets called into question.
Then there was the whole shapeshifter case. Like, at one point Jen breaks the fourth wall and points out that the A and B plots are merging. But not really tho. Like, helping out with the shapeshifter case doesn’t advance Emil’s case at all. It doesn’t give Jen an epiphany that helps her win the Abomination case after being stuck, it’s just a pointless detour that adds nothing. And once again we end on random bullshit that comes out of nowhere and never gets explained. Like, why did MTS want Jen to be her lawyer? Jen wasn’t even the lawyer in the case MTS was (only tangentially) involved in. It was never suggested that MTS even needed a lawyer or some upcoming court battle let alone that whatever case she had involved super heroes so why would she solicit Jen’s services? Well, she’s never seen or heard from again so the only reason is just because they wanted a scene of She-Hulk twerking with the pop-star cameo.
And you know, the twerking scene didn’t have to be pointless cringe. Like, the show is supposedly about Jen wanting to just be a “normal, anonymous lawyer” until she’s thrust into overnight stardom and has to eventually embrace the attention she gets from being a giant green super-babe. And they could’ve played into that by having MTG be like, “Oh, you’re so cool tall green lady” and Jen tries to deflect because compliments make her uncomfortable. But MTG keeps insisting and then asks Jen to “show me your moves”. Jen says she sucks at dancing and she’s at work and people might see. But MTG keeps insisting until she does it. At first it’s really stiff and bad, but MTG encourages her anyway so she loosens up and starts doing it more confidently and it gets better. Then they start twerking together and it’s an actual character moment for Jen.
But that’s not how the scene goes, it’s just Jen twerking because the guest star of the week is known for twerking and nobody cared whether it was in character.
But the worst by far is the handling of Wong’s case. It just doesn’t make any sense from start to finish. Like, Wong lives in New York and practices sorcery taught at a Nepal-based monastery, so what’s he doing litigating in LA? He talks about “unlicensed” sorcery, but who’s giving out the licenses? The DMV? Did they cut the scene in Doctor Strange 1 where he has a graduation ceremony and they give him a certificate that legally authorizes him to use magic at his discretion?
Also, couldn’t he just take the asshole’s sling ring? Over and over it’s emphasized that sorcerers possess and abide by higher powers and don’t subject themselves to the laws of mortal men and deal with larger than life problems on their own as they see fit. Except in this one instance where there’s no reason why they couldn’t. Wong himself even brings up that he could just trap the dude in the mirror dimension and it’s like, “Yeah, so why don’t you?”
And nobody in this post-Sokovia Accords world pauses for even a second to ask if it’s a good idea to say the US government has the authority to restrict people’s right to practice magic? Like, Wong’s just out there talking about random people all over the world accountable to no one wielding the power to destroy the fabric of the universe like every government on the planet’s not going to want to outlaw magic or heavily regulate who gets to use it and how after hearing that?
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I /really/ don’t see the writers making two main characters fight (maybe even try to kill) each other over something that wasn’t important and wasn’t important enough to waste the fans’ and episode’s time on (and especially with the episodes being so short and especially in the season where the writers even said that they’re trying to have the roommates become closer this season, so this means that this fight is gonna be worth it). The two main characters fighting over /another/ main character would be a worthy enough cause I think. Maybe I have my clown makeup on but I really think they’re butting heads over Laszlo sending Guillermo away. It just makes the most sense to me - with the placement of the episode, with Nandor’s sure to be delicate headspace at this time, for Laszlo actually being the sole reason that Guillermo didn’t go with Nandor, how Nandor feels about Guillermo, how it would further prove to the audience how much Guillermo means to Nandor, it would help Nandor realize this feelings - I can go on and on, but yeah, makes the most sense to me lol
It makes the most sense to me, too! It's certainly how I would write it if someone were stupid enough to give me that power. But one thing I've always enjoyed about WWDITS is that I can never fucking predict exactly where the writing is gonna go, so I'm very much in the "this is what I want and what I think makes the most sense, but who fucking knows" camp. With the asks I'm getting now, I'm not sure if I made that clear enough in my last answer haha.
(I feel like my words are making sense but I'll be real with y'all, I am having a very bad symptom night and I'm pretty sick. So maybe I'm not being as clear as I feel lmao.)
To be very clear, if I were a betting woman (and... I am not, I hate gambling) then I'd say that Nandor doesn't know all the details of what happened with Guillermo and he'll find out when he and Laszlo are alone together. Laszlo might make an offhand remark about it (like, idk, being glad that he sent Guillermo off to protect Nadja or knowing that Guillermo will be fine babysitting Colin because he was so good at protecting Nadja or whatever) and Nandor is just like "wait, the fuck?" and things devolve from there.
I do think that if all this happens right after a wedding gone wrong (or even right, but not how he wants it to be) Nandor will be very raw, especially while talking to an absolute fucking wife guy, so he could easily lose his temper.
(Plus, side note, if Marwa does leave him at the altar, maybe he'll be like FUCK, THIS IS THE SECOND TIME SOMEONE HAS LEFT ME RIGHT BEFORE I EMBARKED ON A GREAT JOURNEY WITH THEM and that'll push hard on the abandonment issues he's always had. Love that for him. And then to find out that Guillermo never meant to actually abandon him? *chef's kiss*)
Like I'd love to see them fight over Guillermo. That plot line doesn't feel fully finished yet and, more importantly, I'd just love to see Nandor go batshit over Guillermo. I have thought of MANY ways that could happen. It's how I've been entertaining myself the past few weeks. lmao.
I just don't want to put all my eggs in one basket, especially because we have at least 2-3 episodes before they fight. I'm one of those people that thinks up 30 scenarios for every situation. It's why I keep ending up with 5 times fics, whoops.
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my thoughts on episode 11 of wonder egg priority
tw// neglect, possible abuse, murder, human experimentation
holy SHIT is there a lot to unpack.
first of all, everyone except ai and neiru have now experienced the truth of what happens when you complete the total amount of people to save. at the end of episode ten we saw momoe’s breakdown and panic’s death and at the beginning today’s episode we saw rika find out and mannen’s death. (i previously wrote that neiru and pinky had experienced it but after someone kindly let me know after a rewatch that it was in fact momoe, not neiru. sorry for the error)
however, ai is now the only one who knows about frill and what happened to her. speaking of, there are a RIDICULOUS amount of parallels between the two. i’ll be reblogging some posts that explain it a lot better than i ever could right after i post this.
what i really want to focus on is frill. despite her fairly questionable and downright evil actions, i can’t help but feel a shred of pity for her.
born out of quite literal boredom and under strict surveillance, she was almost destined to be unloved. she was not made to be a human, but simply something for acca and ura acca to love. in the way you might buy a doll for a small child. their mistake was adding such severe jealousy and stubbornness to something they had created to be perfection.
stuck at the age of 14 permanently, it’s no surprise her mental state was damaged. imagine the jealousy, the intense emotions, everything you go through at that age.
she is at least somewhat aware that she is artificial intelligence considering how open those who are around her seem to be about it. however, she does not seem to be keen on accepting it or believing it. after all, she is not programmed to. she is programmed to sense things in the way a human would. and that opens a whole world of other doors about how anyone could be an ai and not know it but i doubt wonder egg priority would get that meta this close to the end.
time to tie up all these loose ends. around midway through the episode we are introduced to a love interest (who i have forgotten the name of, apologies) who causes a split in acca and ura acca’s relationship (marriage), and she soon becomes pregnant with a child. a human child.
frill was programmed to be able to understand her parents in the way a daughter would. she begins to taunt ura acca about his husband cheating on him with the woman he loves and once she finally finds out that the baby is a girl, she decides to kill the mother.
the motivation behind frill’s mental deterioration is slowly becoming clearer and clearer. i strongly suspect that she felt she was being replaced with a human child and realised the inherent inferiority she was going to have once the child was born, and became overcome with jealousy. not only would she now have to take on the role to be a big sister (which she was not programmed to accept or do. she was programmed to be stubborn and jealous in the way a 14 year old girl would be) but she would lose the ability she had to be perceived as a human daughter by the parents who raised her.
imagine being created for the sole purpose of being the perfect daughter for somebody to love, and then being replaced. i am by no means excusing murder, but it’s hard not to see her motivation.
as punishment and as relief of acca’s grief, frill was then locked away with nothing but her ai machinery for anywhere between 12 and 15 years*.
enter himari, the child that survived despite frill’s attempt at murder of both mother and child. she is described as having “saved” ura acca and acca from their state after the mother’s murder and the abandonment of their artificial daughter. when we see her able to talk, she is shown asking ura acca to marry her once she is older to make up for the pain of the loss of her mother. she is stated as being in junior high at the time (*my timespan reasoning for the time frill was locked away). while this scene made me greatly uncomfortable, it might be to show frill’s impact and influence on himari. if they had come into contact, frill would arguably do anything in her power to gain back control of her parents.
perhaps himari asked this purposefully to anger frill, which is supported further by the fact himari was found dead (cause of death suicide) the night later.
suicide. what’s the entire theme OF the eggs? i don’t know about you but i can hear lightbulbs beginning to flicker.
ura acca and acca began research into girls suicides at that age, and found a steady surge around the same time as himari’s death.
acca and ura acca are trying to bring back himari, possibly their wife, and maybe, maybe just maybe frill as well. i think that is the real purpose of the wonder egg project.
we also finally have our answer as to why girls and boys suicides are different with wonder eggs! acca and ura acca are indeed sexists, just not about suicide.
i’ll let you do the rest of the theorising.
now for the loose ends that i don’t think can be tied up.
why are hyphen and dot named after punctuation? is their goal to bring frill back to life?
what was neiru’s family’s involvement in the wonder eggs? in fact, where is neiru?
is frill alive or dead? is there even a way to distinguish with someone in her state?
what happened to acca and ura acca to make them.. well, to make them like that? last i checked, turning into mannequins isn’t a symptom of grief. are they even alive?
MOMOE. WHERE THE FUCK IS MOMOE. GIVE ME MOMOE OR GIVE ME DEATH.
there are a shit ton of new, unspecified entities we’re learning about. what actually are hyphen and dot? are they AIs like frill? perhaps not fully formed? and thanatos and eros?
where do the girls go once they’ve been freed? is “freed” even the right term?
what did mr sawaki say to ai about koito? why did koito die? is mr sawaki going to have a bigger role than a consistently fucking annoying red herring after all?
rika’s father? why have that as a big factor in an episode conflict if it’s never going to be addressed again?
the sketchy lesbian representation compared to the consistent positive trans ftm and gay representation? why have the only canonically wlw character be a product of a harmful stereotype after treating everything else so respectfully?
and most importantly, how the FUCK is this going to get cleared up in one episode?
i don’t even think that’s possible. if it is, i’m really disappointed. after consistent excellent pacing, writing, storytelling, and everything else, cramming everything into the last couple of episodes is just cheap and annoying. if i wanted to drone on for an entire series before an explosion of poor plot points for shock factor, i’d just go watch the second season of the promised neverland (/hj).
the only somewhat reasonable explanation would be a second season, but it is a terrible media decision and i can’t imagine much, if any, good coming from it.
in conclusion, what the fuck. how the hell is this going to salvage itself in one episode?
also i wrote this entire thing while on my sleep meds. if there’s logical, grammatical, spelling or just general errors i apologise and i’ll fix them when i’m not half conscious.
#wonder egg priority#how the fuck are they going to salvage this#wonder egg priority spoilers#wep project#wep#i really don’t know how to feel about frill#wep frill#a moment of silence for mannen and panic
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A Period Drama
Summary: When that time of the month hits, Y/n wants nothing more than to curl up in bed and forget about the world. Lucky for her, Dean has other plans.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Word Count: 2.1K+
Warnings: Language, discussion of menstrual cycle
Author’s Note: I guess I'm emotional this cycle, who knew? Anyway, I wrote this because I wanted to die the other day, and imagining Dean's cuddles was the only way for me to get through it. This is a work of self-indulgence and therefore the Reader is a little less non-descript than I usually try to write, but that's what these things are for! Hope this helps my fellow menstruating people lie it did me xoxo Alex
Check out Alexandra’s Library for more works by yours truly!
A nagging sensation tugged on her strings of consciousness, bringing the sleeping huntress back to the world of the living. Her mind fought against waking, knowing not nearly enough time had passed since she had retreated to her room the previous evening. As the ache deep in her abdomen became more obvious, she stopped fighting and opened her eyes to the darkness of her room.
“Fuck,” she groaned as she tossed the covers from her body, instantly missing the heat they provided in the recess of the bunker. Y/n rolled from the bed and stood, the action occurring too quickly and the huntress felt the familiar rush between her legs. She cursed herself as she bounded off to the bathroom on the opposite end of the hallway. The socks on her feet muffled her hurried steps as she passed the boys’ rooms.
Once inside, she went straight for the showers and turned the hot water all the way up. Steam enveloped the space as she stripped her soiled panties and old t-shirt from her body. She let the bathroom turn into a makeshift sauna as she rinsed the blood from her undergarments before finally stepping into the boiling shower.
It was unclear how long she stood under the water, searing her flesh and scrubbing away the metaphorical grime, all she knew was the relentless heat was managing to ease the ache from her angry uterus. The tentative knock on the bathroom door snapped her back from the silent reverie she had been indulging in, and Y/n noted how the water had gone almost cold. It was likely she had been in there long enough for Sam to have taken his morning run and if her own body wasn’t attacking itself, she might have felt guilty about using up all the bunker’s hot water.
When she walked out in just a towel, her dirty pajamas rolled into a ball in her arms, she was met with a confused younger Winchester. All she could mutter was a weak ‘sorry’ before she breezed past him and back to her room. The huntress wrapped herself into a pair of sweats and a clean tee, braided her hair out of her face, swallowed a few pain killers, and crawled back under her covers. She thanked whatever higher power had made sure they were hunt-free for the foreseeable future so she could spend the day curled up in a ball. The pills kicked in quick enough to allow her to easily slip back into a blissful sleep.
****
It was nearing one in the afternoon when Dean made his way back inside the bunker, his hands covered in grease and oil from his work tuning up the Impala. He was wiping his hands on an equally dirty towel as he walked into the kitchen to find his little brother making himself a lunch.
“Please tell me that is not your veggie bacon?” Dean wrinkled his nose as he watched Sam putting together a BLT, the various ingredients strewn about the island.
“Fine, then I won’t tell you,” Sam didn’t bother to look up from his task to answer his brother. The look of disgust only depended on Dean’s face as he moved around his sibling to wash his hands in the sink.
The older hunter glanced over his shoulder as the sound of shuffling footsteps grew louder, his gaze landing on a disheveled Y/n. The sweats that hung from her body were wrinkled and she had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. There were lines across the left side of her face, indicating she had been sleeping recently. Worry instantly flooded his system as it was unlike their hunting partner to sleep this late unless she was ill.
“Sam, what did you do with my heating pad?” her voice was coarse as she didn’t even bother with pleasantries. No ‘hello’, no ‘ how are you’, just straight to whatever business she had in with the younger Winchester.
“Uh, I’m pretty sure it’s in the linen closet in the bathroom?” Sam answered, completely unperturbed by her callousness.
“So you put my heating pad in the bathroom,” Y/n rolled her eyes and Sam could only offer her a bewildered nod. “What is with you guys and not being able to put shit back where you found it?” The huntress turned on her heel, not waiting for a response before heading to retrieve the item she was seeking.
Sam looked over his shoulder at his older brother, his brows knit together in the middle of his forehead. “What the hell was that?”
“What’s the one thing Y/n uses her heating pad for?” Dean’s lips cured up on one side as he watched the look of realization flash across his brother’s features. The oldest Winchester dried his hands before peeking in the fridge and a few cupboards. “Looks like she could use a supply run. You need anything?”
“Nah, I’m just going to retreat to my room and pretend like I don’t exist for the rest of the day,” Sam picked up the plate that held his lunch and scurried off, leaving a chuckling Dean behind.
****
The only light filling her room came from the laptop that was perched in her lap, playing some television show she had stopped paying attention to a while ago, and the filtered light from the hall through the slats in her door. The huntress was still curled into a ball under her covers, attempting to use what little bit of heat from her computer she could muster as she had been unsuccessful in located her heating pad. She felt bad for ripping into Sam about it, but the truth was he had misplaced her belongings, something that she found happened often around the Winchesters, and she was over it today. Pain tended to make her grumpy, as it did most people, and she wasn’t going to apologize for being pissed at their carelessness.
A soft rapping against her door had her pausing the show as she shoved the device aside. The guest didn’t wait for a response before they pushed the door open, bringing with them a flood of light. Y/n cringed at the sudden change, hiding her face behind her hand.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” Dean’s familiar chuckle sounded before the click of the latch indicated he had closed the door behind him. “I come bearing gifts.”
“What?” she was confused by his words as she dropped her hand and allowed her eyes to adjust back to the relative darkness.
“Your water bottle, half ice, half water,” he set the green canteen on her bedside table. “The heating pad Sammy somehow managed to lose behind the washing machine,” Dean handed her the light green pad folded neatly with the cord sitting on top. Y/n sighed a breath of relief as the eldest Winchester continued. “And a sharable size bag of dark chocolate peanut M&M’s.”
“Dean,” Y/n caught the purple bag as he tossed it her way, biting back a gleeful moan. “I fucking love you.” She unceremoniously tore into the bag and popped a couple of the chocolate candies into her mouth, missing the rush of blood on the Winchester’s cheeks.
“And finally,” he mimicked a drum roll with his mouth and procured a box from his arms, placing it on her bedside table. The woman frowned, unable to make out the object at first in the darkness.
“You bought me tampons? How,” she trailed off, not only awestruck by the hunter’s gesture but amazed at his attention to detail as she read the label.
“There is only one thing you need your heating pad for,” he remarked as he took the referenced object back to plug it into an outlet for her. “Also, you never snap at Sammy.”
“But how did you know what kind to buy?”
“Kind of hard not to when you have a box of them stashed away in Baby’s trunk,” Dean countered as he perched himself on the edge of her bed.
“Hey, those are for emergencies. Besides, I’m sure Baby understands.”
“I’m sure she does.”
Y/n chewed on the inside of her cheek as she fiddled with the bag of candy in her lap, the kindness shown by Dean throwing her off. She offered the open bag to her hunting partner, who snatched a handful for himself with a grin.
“Thank you, Dean, seriously. This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” her voice was low as the admittance slipped past her lips. “Want to watch some Scooby-Doo with me? You know, if you aren’t busy or anything?”
“I’d love to, sweetheart,” Dean winked at her, that shit-eating grin never leaving his face even as he stood and shucked off his jacket and boots so he could climb into the bed next to her. “Who could pass up Daphne?”
The huntress sat back against the headboard with a roll of her eyes and switched the streaming show on her laptop before unfolding her already warmed heating pad and laid it across her lower abdomen. She moved the laptop at the end of the bed so they could both see it and set the bag of M&M’s between her and Dean to share.
The two settled into the cartoon, laughing in unison at the ridiculous parts and commenting on how the Scooby gang couldn’t have handled that monster had it been real. Three episodes passed by before a shredding cramp ripped through her stomach, the shock of it enough that she was unable to hide the groan as she had been so far.
“You okay?” Dean shifted in his spot next to her, his head turning from the kids’ show to his friend beside him.
“No, I’m not okay. It feels like my internal organs are attempting to exit my body,” she snapped, instantly regretting it when Dean subtly recoiled. “Shit, I’m sorry. I--I didn’t mean…” Y/n was cut off as the pain returned just as intense as it had been moments ago, causing her to roll onto her side and into a ball, clutching the heat of the pad against her body like a lifeline.
“Alright,” Dean huffed before moving the candy and laptop from the bed. Y/n could hear the hunter shift behind her, but her eyes were clamped shut as she tried to breathe through the pain like she was experiencing the contractions of labor of something. She felt the hard lines of his body lock around the curves of her own and his arm snake around her abdomen. His hand rested over hers as he pulled her tight against him, putting more pressure than she had been able to muster against her lower belly. “I’ve got you.”
The heat of his body on one side and the pad against her stomach, combined with the force he was exerting on her uterus, finally allowed her to relax fully for the first time since she had awoken that morning. She never wanted to leave this moment, utterly content in the peace that his presence in her bed brought her. The idea scared her a little, but she figured that was a problem for another day. Now she chose to just live in this moment for as long as he would let her.
“Why?” she muttered into the dark space after she was sure he had fallen asleep as his grip had relented a touch and his breathing evened out, hoping he wouldn’t answer but knowing she had to ask.
“Cause I wanted to,” his voice was gruff, indicating he had probably been on the cusp of falling asleep when she spoke up. “I hate seeing you like this. Figured it was the least I could do.”
“Dean Winchester, are you going soft on me?” she quirked up one corner of her lips, unable to fight the giddiness his words instilled in her chest.
“Sweetheart, there is nothing soft about me when I’m around you,” he chuckled, earning himself an elbow to the gut. He grunted and the two of them fell into a fit of laughter.
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.” The hunter was ready for her arm this time, his hand moving to wrap around her forearm and pull it into him so as to trap her even tighter than before in his embrace. Y/n struggled against his hold, giggling like an idiot as the two wrestled in the bed a moment before she relented that he was much stronger than she.
“Honestly,” Dean placed a gentle kiss to her shoulder once she had settled, only encouraging her to melt further into his arms. “I’d do anything to make you smile, Y/n.”
“Well, then mission accomplished, Winchester,” she turned her head to flash him a genuine smile to which he reciprocated before planting his pillow-soft lips against hers.
P.S. I didn't even try on this title because this is just a little therapy piece and therefore no one should judge me.
Forevers: @22sarah08 @440mxs-wife @akshi8278 @anathewierdo @asgoodasdancingqueen @atc74 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @briagallen @callmekda @dawnie1988 @deandreamernp @deangirl93 @deanwanddamons @ellewritesfix05 @emoryhemsworth @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @janicho88 @jbsgirl4ever11 @jensengirl83 @lunarmoon8 @lyarr24 @mishacollins4evah @miss-nerd95 @mrsjenniferwinchester @msmarvelouswinchester @polina-93 @sleepylunarwolf @squirrelnotsam @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan @suckmyapplejacks @supraveng @tatted-trina6 @thoughts-and-funnies @traceyaudette @tranquility-or-chaos @waywardbeanie @winchest09
#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x you#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester fanfic#dean winchester fic#dean winchester#supernatural#spn#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural fanfic#supernatural fic#spn fanfic#spn fic#alex writes#mine#a period drama
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Magical thinking indeed:
- im just over here feeling warm cuz lena really referred to kara's apartment as 'home'. lena truly looked like one partner stuck entertaining the friends alone because the other partner is running late and didn't give an excuse for why
- also kara flying in through the window sans the suit cuz everyone knows now. im living for this
- nia just jumping over the backrest of the couch. it's about time these people actually started acting like friends and i would like to point out that we didn't get to this until lena was back and finally a full member of the super friends. i know im beating a dead horse but we could've had this seasons ago
- i actually forgot about the voldemort/harry thing going on with nxyly and kara but that's honestly on me for always watching these episodes after 2 glasses of wine
- brainy wasn't in this episode because??? like what does he have going on outside of the tower? are him and nia even dating? did we really give his screentime to william and fucking mitch? this is the 3rd game night scene he hasn't been in and im not a fan
- andrea is so mean but like...it's william
- also this embedding william with the super friends thing is utter BULLSHIT. have you ever watched a show that literally has to force a character into scenes? nothing about william's involvement is ever organic and the problem is persisting all because of a contrived connection the writers want to forge between him, kara and the super friends
- alex n j'onn, the gatekeepers of kara's secret, the former blacksite clandestine agents actually agreed to this and WHY
- alex not protecting her identity WHY
- lena's identity and magic needs to be a secret and yet there lena is, eye fucking with kara in the middle of tower in front of william, god and my fucking salad
- honestly if william doesn't figure out who they all are, since they're doing a shit job hiding it, he's just plain stupid
- i get the impression that kara is still too terrified of lena getting directly involved. she doesn't want her on nxyly's radar at all
- esme!
- rainbow bracelet. kelly as guardian still wearing that shit like a proud mom hanging their kids art on the fridge. im soft
- the foster parents were suspect from minute one but the way that woman just pushed that small child outside to defend them. like...what kind of psycho does that? and more importantly why were they NOT ARRESTED?!?!
- 'lena broke my brain'. you know that line was 100% nicole and i thank her for her service. that was hilarious
- nxyly is the first supergirl villain ive enjoyed since S2 lillian
- lena is not amused by william. same girl same
- but credit where credit is due, his baking story for once actually had some relevance and gave lena her epiphany about her mom's spell
- kara offering to go get the flower or whatever for lena because it's dangerous and lena's little and she doesn't want her to get hurt. protective kara we love to see it
- william: you protect lena, supergirl
my dude, unneeded instruction.
- kara being all cocky is peak content. lena's little smile at kara's casual display of strength. SAME LENA SAME
- for a minute i thought kara totally killed that guy with the flicked bullet
- nia's spidey senses tingling at the lover's quarrel kara and lena are about to have.
- im surprised they didn't bring up the brain washing because that was definitely the moment where lena believed it was for the greater good and she was being manipulative and ruthless with her vampire shirt
- can we say GROWTH tho. i love that kara and lena can disagree without all this bullshit drama like before. secrets are OUT honesty is IN. they're communicating and expressing their fears and leaning on each other. this. this is what i want
- also have to point out that lena is kara's humanity. WE BEEN KNEW but that shit is canon now. so is kara being hopeful and happy around lena. and kara no longer feeling alone because lena is back. i can't believe im winning
- so so so last week lena says 'i believe in you' and now kara says it. before it was 'good luck' 'you too'. the way the writers avoid the explicit use of 'i love you' just makes it louder
- currently thinking about the 'i believe in a thing called love' episode and im already losing my mind
- lena and nia god i love them together. their scenes totally feel like genuine katie and nicole vibes.
- yo the stunt work was actually decent? dreamer's black widow style flip. the dansen banter while kicking ass. is...is this still supergirl? im not used to being fed like this
- dansen telepathy. they just agreed 'yep esme is the one'
- did veeta not say that there's a 'prescribed order to the totems'? so why are they now picking whichever totem they feel like?
- ngl the super friends have been the cause of literally all the city's major issues this entire season
- lena does the spell she didn't want to do because??? like that's not even me being a little shit i think i might have missed that cuz i don't understand the chain of events that led to her changing her mind when she was so adamantly against it
- these incompetent heroes continue their idoicy by letting william write this article WHY. they are not running on taxpayer dollars. they don't owe the public shit. they're actually breaking many laws as vigilantes and 'borrowing' satellites and god knows what else
- andrea has no journalistic integrity. or common decency. she's still hot tho
- william growing a pair. good for him but did he and apparently Andrea forget about the 'no competing' clause in the contracts?
- ending with supercorp domestic fluff 2 episodes in a row. bruh don't touch me
- lena: I'm not using my fingers
kara: I'm going to
this is the new 'i don't think about you while im doing it'
it's all so deliberate. they're SO LOUD
#supercorp#dansen#kara danvers#lena luthor#kelly olsen#alex danvers#nia nal#william dey#andrea rojas#kara x lena#supergirl 6x14#supergirl
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Rushingly Bittersweet (Javier Peña x f!reader) part 21
Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc//f!reader with name.
Summary: After the fall of Escobar everything starts happening way too fast for Javier; his raise, his new office, his new team, the Cali cartel’s operation, the sudden arrival of a new agent that was transferred to his team for no apparent reason, the way he was falling in love with her almost unintentionally.
And he couldn’t seem to stop any of that.
Word count: +4.9k
Chapter warnings: uhm, this chapter is Javier’s perspective ehehe, so, beware fo feelings
A/N: This chapter is set in season three, episode ten. // again, i am really fucking sorry, but we are ALMOST DONE OMG, also i wanna say thanks to my official cheerleaders @queenofthefaceless and @maharani-radha-writes that helped me a lot and @alliterative-albatross that made me feel sure of some of the ideas i had for this chapter, i love you lots, guys. While proof reading this chapter for the first time i understood why it was the hardest to write, it was because i had just to strip myself naked and understand more of Javier Peña as i had built him... i just... im not quite pleased with the second half of this, but i know its needed.
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gif: @javier-pena (thank you so much for making this when i needed it the most, ily)
The air weighed on his chest; he felt his lungs struggling to find air; as he drove home, he felt his heart pounding hard and fast, as if it wanted to rip out of his chest and run and hide and die.
As if his heart wanted the same he did.
Javier couldn’t sleep that night. He didn’t even try to close his eyes after climbing into bed.
Every time he closed his eyes, he saw you.
Jesus Christ.
His mind was reeling, he couldn’t stop replaying every single thing you told him in his mind.
“My name is not Florencia Martín”
“A precarious situation”
“Another Los Pepes scenario”
“You do care, you care a lot”
He wanted to crawl into a deep hole and bury himself to stop his body from feeling.
Javier cringed deeply when he remembered he had told you he had fallen in love with you without even thinking about it.
That certainly wasn’t the way you were supposed to find out.
He guessed, while tossing around on his bed, on the same sheets that still smelled like you, that he had it coming. He probably deserved it. But that didn’t make him feel any better, it stung.
It burned.
Javier had stripped himself naked for you, more than just his body, he had let you see him; he had let you touch him; he had let you read him; he had let you know him.
He had let himself feel and… he had let himself think he deserved something good.
He felt like such an idiot, stupid and embarrassed because there you had been… Standing in front of him, in a place he thought it would become something close to his fortress, breaking him. And he let you.
God. He had known you for less than six months, and yet he let you have power over him. All that power to make him whatever you wanted. He had handed you a sledgehammer and his heart and soul on a porcelain platter for you to shatter.
And he just took it.
Javier huffed at his own thoughts while his eyes were glued to the ceiling.
He was an idiot, wasn’t he? Having let himself feel all those things he had been so beware of for a woman he never really knew.
What else was fake about you?
He felt that sting, known and oh so foreign clench in his throat and he fought it. He fought it hard. Why was he feeling like that?
“A precarious situation”
“You do care, you care a lot”
He sat up and brought his knees to his chest, clenching his jaw so tight his face started trembling.
He had to unclench it so he could open his mouth and gasp for air because his lungs were tightening in his chest and he knew he just had to let go. He shook his head to nothing and fought it again. He would not break. He couldn’t.
But then he remembered he was all alone. Just him and his mind and... he stopped fighting for the first time in years and allowed his feelings to pour down from his eyes.
Javier clenched his jaw again as he felt the thick, years old tears pouring and pouring, clouding his sight, flooding his face.
“Fuck,” he muttered to nothing, resting his face on his hand and his arm on his knee, his chest struggling with the silent sobs he was drowning in.
Javier cried for around an hour.
He allowed himself to cry, to cry for you, because if he had allowed himself to fall in love with you and he had allowed you to wield power over him, he deserved a chance to fall apart as well.
He had earned it.
His tears of grief and pain became tears of anger and pain.
He was so angry; at himself, because, thinking again about everything you had told him, you had said something right; he had dragged you into having whatever the hell you two had. He had kissed you and practically turned your wrist into starting something with him only, and just only because he felt lonely. Because he felt like maybe, for the first time in decades, he could have something good. Because he felt like maybe it was time for him to love and be loved again when, in reality, he didn’t deserve to be loved by anyone.
He had let himself believe you could be something else, less complicated. But how wrong he was… Him? Loved? As if. Him? In Colombia? Laughable.
That country… It became more than clear how much he had lost by going down there.
He huffed again in between tears at how it took a massive hit to the heart for him to realize how much he had lost in the years he had been there.
He was so angry; at the system. The fucking system that forced you and him into taking assignments you didn’t deserve to take. There wasn’t another moment he hated more right then, than the moment he had said yes to returning to Colombia. His dad was right, he didn’t like what he found. And it truly changed him before he could change it. How he wanted to have listened to him, how he wanted to not be the stubborn ass he was and just… said no.
And you? You had taken an assignment that promised unreachable things, one that forced you into turning into a liar, one that didn’t let you be yourself.
Fuck, was he really trying to find justifications for what you did even though you had broken him in pieces?
He was so angry; at you. For lying to him and from dropping the facade, for taking off the mask that he had rushed to love, for thinking he deserved the truth instead of you leaving once everything was over. He thought it would have hurt less if you had just… disappeared.
He wouldn’t be crying at three in the morning on his bed if you had just vanished into thin air.
Javier remembered seeing the hope in your eyes when you were telling him the truth, who you really were, he saw it and he wanted to tell you he forgave you. But neither of you deserved something that good.
He was sure it all was some kind of karma. A penance for all his sins, a way too high price he had to pay for all the shit he had done.
He realized then, while sitting on his bed in the middle of the night, the same one he had shared with you for nights that felt burned into his memory, that you and him weren’t so different.
That you two had more in common than he had first thought. That you, as he had said to you before, when you were still wrapped around his arms on that same bed, were a person who was willing to do anything for a greater cause. That you as well were capable of doing anything if you thought it did good, that you also were capable of sacrifice, of losing everything as long as you were doing what you thought was the right thing.
And you had told him, as you cried your eyes out in front of him, facing him and facing and taking all the repercussions of your actions, that you really thought it was the right thing to do.
The realization was truly bittersweet. He didn’t like that even when you had broken his heart and stepped on the pieces as you walked out, he still understood why you did it.
After that despaired, miserable night, he decided he was done bringing you to the front of his mind, so he shoved all the memories of you and tried to repress them in the back of his head along with countless others he didn’t rather to address.
The next day he stepped into the office with less than half an hour of sleep he had seemed to catch while condemning himself in the solitude of his room and avoided looking at your still cluttered desk. Full of you.
He ignored Stoddard when he asked him where you were as he stepped out of the office to head to Cali an hour later and while the elevator brought him down to the lobby he tried to drown the way the mention of your fake name made him feel.
That morning you walked directly to the CIA office, every step you gave into the embassy hurt in your body, mind and soul as if each one had a dagger embedded deeply and an invisible hand was twisting each dagger deeper. You felt the weight of the world on your shoulders. You entered, unannounced, into Stechner’s office, not even trying to hide the enormous amount of pain you were going through. You were tired of hiding things.
“Ah, my favorite DEA agent,” Stechner said when he saw you walk in “well, not anymore, I guess.” he smirked and you felt his gaze linger on your body, shamelessly.
“Let’s just get this over with.” you muttered, crossing your arms on your chest.
“Oh, this is more than over, alright?” the man leaned back on his chair and reached a manila folder that rested on top of others on his desk and raised it so you could see it “resignation, what a word,” he said, putting the folder back on the desk, opening the folder and taking the sole sheet of paper on his hand “really? after you failed almost epically?” Stechner smiled humorlessly and took your resignation letter in both hands and… ripped it in half.
You drowned a gasp.
“You have a flight to Washington today at noon.” he let out softly, feigning a comprehensive tone.
“Of course I do.” you mumbled, dropping your arms to the sides, feeling your eyes flood with tears as you saw him tossing the parts of your resignation letter in the trash can.
You blinked the tears away and quietly took a deep breath, halfway achieving a fake sense of stability you had fed yourself since the night before.
What were you thinking, after everything you did they would have let you get off easy? Of course not you silly girl.
“Oh, honey, you need a hug?” Stechner asked with a teasing gaze and a fake tone of worry “I bet breaking up with Peña really did something on you, you look like a mess”
You tightened your jaw and rolled your hands into fists, Stechner noticed, and his mocking face dropped.
“Anything else?” you asked him, voice hardened, with your eyes staring right into his, admonishing him, warning him. He knew what you were capable of, you knew he did.
He shook his head twice, and you lifted your chin up.
“I really wish you the best, sweetie.” he mumbled, dropping his gaze to his desk and trying to ignore the way your face turned into a scowl at the endearment.
“No, you don’t, you fucker,” you all but growled wanting nothing more than to erase that seemingly permanent smirk off his face that grew after he raised his head to look at you “you’re happy that I’m getting out of here like this,” you chuckled bitterly “you wanted this to happen, I hope you’re satisfied.” you let out all the venom you had been keeping inside you for that man in the last sentence you spat to him.
“You’re right, but I won’t say it,” he tutted and shook his head slowly “you really cost us a lot, sweetheart,” he mumbled and you were sure you were about to spit foam from the rage inside you “I hope you know that.”
You sighed and smiled bitterly at the man. Ever so fucking disgusting. For the first time in your life, you wanted something bad to happen to someone. And you didn’t regret it.
“I won’t ever forget it.” you spat at him in a soft voice that made him glare at you with a serious face.
You turned around and walked out of his office, leaving the door open, feeling his stare on your back.
Feeling, then more than ever, the insides of your mind finishing crashing down. Finally broken. Fully broken.
You walked towards the elevator and pushed the lobby button, hoping to dissolve in the way, hoping the elevator floor would just break and the void swallowed you and your body crashed against the concrete floor of the second basement.
But instead, the doors opened on the DEA floor and Stoddard stepped inside, shooting you a concerned smile as the doors closed.
“Hi, Florencia,” he looked at you and you tried to give him a smile, knowing you failed “you okay?” he asked, you blinked a few times before looking at him. He pushed his glasses up.
“Yeah!” you let out in a squeal “just peachy.” you drifted your eyes away and sighed again.
“I… thought you were in Cali.” Stoddard let out after a few seconds, you turned to see him with your brow furrowed.
“Cali?”
“Well… yeah,” he shrugged “the boss and the guys went back to Cali this morning.”
You let out a sigh, of both relief and worry.
“Oh,” you said under your breath “no, I…” you shook your head and tried to smile at him again and failed, this time he noticed “I needed to take care of something else.”
“I see,” he mumbled, the elevator doors opened and you stepped out “you sure you’re okay?” he asked, looking at you, you nodded several times.
“Yeah, Stod,” you assured him, trying to make him believe it, not quite sure if you believed yourself “I’m fine.”
Stoddard nodded at you as the elevator doors closed and you waved him once goodbye. Knowing it would be the last time. You walked out of the embassy in complete and utter shame, and some part inside you screamed that you deserved it.
Javier rescued another witness that day, because he still wanted to do something right even though he didn’t feel right himself.
But then, after sending Guillermo Pallomari to Miami, he had to return to his office. That place he had thought was his fortress, and then it was turned into… a dungeon.
He didn’t ignore your cluttered desk this time; he was alone in the office, there was no one that could say anything of him if he just… looked around.
A steel cup filled with different colored pens and only red markers, a pile of unsigned DEA reports, in one of the drawers a block of sticky notes running low, the same ones you made notes on and stuck on files when you reviewed them and that Javier hated to see because they were just so fucking bright, your red coffee cup you used when you didn’t have time to grab some at his house because he just kept kissing you until you both were late, which didn't happen at your place because Javier always woke up before you and started the coffee machine, a gun holster you hated to use because it just never clutched the way you wanted to your jeans and a small, brown journal he had never seen before and that he took because there wasn’t anyone that could say anything of him if he just… looked around.
He hesitated for a moment to open the journal, unsure of himself or of what he would find. The first page had your initials, your real initials written on the far left corner and just a list of names he didn’t recognize, next a few scribbles and a phone number. Javier skimmed through the pages and around the middle he found his name. Written in your pretty handwriting, with a few numbers underneath that looked dangerously close to file codes.
He snapped the journal closed and left it where he found it. He shouldn’t have looked.
In his office he found all the documents you had risked so much to gather and all the intel you just handed to him, pretty much as he had handed you his heart.
Javier let out a sigh and grabbed the folders, sitting behind the desk and opening the first one.
He re-read every single piece of information until his eyes stung from the exhaustion, or the cigarette smoke, or maybe more unshed tears he was once again fighting so hard to keep inside him.
Tears of sadness, it was a given. But also anger, and frustration and pain, and, as a bucket of freezing cold water, years of regrets fell on him.
Javier had tried, had tried hard to bury all that shit in some far, deep corner of his mind, as he had tried to bury you and all his memories of the last four? five? months. He really did. But at that moment, sheltered inside an office that didn’t feel like his anymore, past midnight, alone and so damn vulnerable, it all rose to the surface and he found himself drowning inside a sea of his own mistakes and past sins.
It was unbearable to stay there. So he grabbed the files that felt like burning in his hands and took off.
And so, Javier went back to an empty apartment that even though had been his for a long time, felt emptier than it had ever felt without you and reminded him only of you.
Why had he allowed his house to become a fucking shrine to the time you had spent there?
Everytime he looked at everything, from the fucking lamp at the corner of the end table to the damn waterbottle you left the last morning you were there on his kitchen counter, an image of you invaded his mind. Like a suffocating wildfire, spreading with the simplest blow of the wind. Covering him, trapping him, burning him and turning him into ashes.
That night he drank almost all the alcohol he had left in his house and even then, with his body full of booze, his intoxicated mind all the time returned to you. To your face, to your eyes and that color that was so common yet somehow looked so unique, to your voice and how you called his name either on a whisper or on a scold, to your smile and how apparently you had one only for him, to your hands and how you used them one night to touch him and the next morning to grip a gun, to how you drove him crazy from the very beginning. Fuck, he loved you. And he hated you all the same.
You gave him your resignation letter, you had left a job you claimed you loved so much that you had taken on something that did you so much wrong. You quit because of what they made you do, and probably, just probably, he had to do the same. Because of what they did to him.
Was it worth it? Everything he did… Was it worth something? Anything?
He thought again of everything he had done in the past decade and felt sick at what his brain was showing him. It really wasn’t.
The idea of doing something good, doing something that could give him a little peace invaded his mind and he spent half the night thinking of something he could do to finally, finally feel like he was helping.
The next morning he found himself sitting in the conference room with Crosby hovering around him. He huffed at himself, sitting there as if there was nothing wrong going around, with the ambassador looking at him with his ever so present judgemental smirk, as if he wasn't just pieces of a man that put himself together with the weakest glue when he got dressed that morning with less than two hours of sleep after being trapped inside his house that smelled like you with nothing but alcohol and time to think. His pop was right, they did something to him in that country. He just didn’t know what.
“Y’know how many times I’ve gotten a call from the Department of Justice and State the same morning?” Crosby rhetored, Javier looked at him, already tired of the lecture he was about to get “count ‘em on one finger, guess we have you to thank for that.”
Javier dropped his eyes to the oak table in front of him and absentmindedly tried to draw a pattern with the tip of his finger while half listening to Crosby telling him about his meeting with the Colombian president to demand that the gentlemen of Cali stayed in jail. He looked back at his boss and after half a second of pondering he told him he had a draft indictment of the president’s ties with the cartel, omitting the part of the story where he had drafted it half drunk the night before. And of course Crosby laughed at it.
Javier huffed again at himself when Crosby suggested he kept the draft to himself and he felt his blood starting to boil. He sighed and fought the urge to stand up and leave. What was he thinking? That a man like Crosby would back up a man like him? Just like that? What a naïve thought.
“The DOJ’s not gonna topple a government, Agent Peña,” the ambassador told him, obviating the statement, Javier felt his chest turn “you can’t tell me you’re surprised by that.”
“Some part of me was holding out hope, I guess.” he muttered to Crosby, who walked around the table and stood next to him, Javier didn’t even bother to hide his face from him, god how tired he was of hiding.
“Well, you should tell that part to grow the fuck up,” Crosby spat and Javier drowned a bitter chuckle “no, I mean it, Agent Peña, you should be happy,” the ambassador said and Javier frowned at the man “you played the system like a goddamn fiddle, you won.”
Javier opened his mouth to rebut the statement but Crosby just walked behind his chair and left the room, leaving him with the word in his mouth.
He felt his stomach toss in disgust, at his boss, at his job, at himself. Fuck that.
“Yes, sir.” he mumbled under his breath.
Did he really win something? The job that helped him escape from everything, the one at some point of his life felt like a dream, had become a nightmare. The woman he grew to love, after years and years of not feeling that, barely got out of there alive and the name he had whispered in extasis wasn’t even hers. Everything he had once believed in was melting away like wax on a candle and being washed away by a sea of regret, desolation and anger.
Did he really win something when he had lost everything? He had even lost himself in the process of what he and everyone around him had called a once in a lifetime opportunity to end a War that was so familiar to him it almost sat at the table on Thanksgiving with him and his dad.
And when he got out of the conference room, with the weight of the world on his shoulders, the idea of following your steps and quit became a lot more attractive to him.
So he went back to his empty home filled with your memories, resigned that he wouldn’t sleep much that night either, and stood in the middle of the living room, not knowing why he felt like a visitor in his own house, chain smoking, thinking about everything just because he wanted to stop thinking about you.
Javier walked to his window and dwindled himself to watch the cars down the street pass, the city was so unaware of everything. The country was so unaware of how it was being torn apart by the same people that were elected to take care of it. And he was so fucking angry, at everything and everyone, at himself. And so tired. Exhausted.
The phone rang behind him and he didn’t even flinch at the sound, even when practically no one called his house phone. He just let the machine get it.
“Hi, Javi, uhm…” he stiffened in place when he heard your voice and turned his head to eye the cradle “I know you probably don’t wanna listen to me right now but…” you sounded small, your voice sounded thin, Javier turned around and walked towards the phone “uhm, I wanted to apologize again and…” he felt like he couldn’t think, his mind was filled with your voice as if it were a fog that clouded his vision, he wanted to pick the phone up, he wanted to ask you where you were and tell you to come home to him, but his brain wasn’t letting him “I–I’m in Washington and I tho–thought…” his eyes closed on themselves when he heard you sigh and choke down a sob “forget it, uhm, I just… fuck…”
Javier looked at the phone, the sound of static still there, he pondered if he should just swallow his anger and his newfound pride and just pick up.
“I think someone will contact you about this and I just wanted to let you know I–I didn’t tell them anything about... us…” he heard you chuckle softly and he just stood there, rolling his hands into fists, waiting for you to say something else, “I’m sorry, Javi, uhm… I really think I did the right thing by telling you, I’m just sorry it had to be like this…” you sniffed on the phone and Javier sighed, “I guess I also wanted, uhm, to hear your voice… shit.” he closed his eyes and grabbed the phone.
“Hello?” he said and gripped the receiver when the sound of the cut line replied to him.
Javier threw the receiver on the floor and sat on the couch, cursing at himself for his weakness and his hesitation altogether.
He rested his head on his hands while thinking on the few things you had said, if you were in Washington talking to the directives that meant they didn’t let you resign, that meant they were firing you. And you called him to let him know his involvement was minimal, because still after everything you were trying to divert the backlash from him.
God how he was tired.
That’s when he decided, he was going to do it. Not only for what you had made him feel, but because he just needed to leave back all the baggage he had been carrying with him for almost a decade. He needed to let go. He knew it, he needed to free himself of something that turned him entirely into a different person that wasn't even close to what he had been before, because no one else would do it for him.
And he had nothing else to lose. Absolutely nothing.
Once that thought occupied his mind, he finally could lay down on the couch and sleep.
The next morning Javier just re-dressed and called his journalist contact, he had decided, in his pre-sleep haze, that he was just gonna tell the truth. To everyone.
Just as you did with him, he was going to use all the information you had given to him to redeem yourself of your own baggage to get rid of some of his.
Even when he didn’t want to think of you, you were still helping him.
And the truth went out as he told it, and he let himself out of the whole situation by following your steps.
Until the ambassador called him into his office later that day and that time… Javier felt like he could tell the man absolutely anything.
He had nothing else to lose.
When he walked into the office Crosby was watching the news about his little interview. Javier walked and sat in across from him, feeling something that looked like freedom. But his mind was still reeling with guilt and loss.
“You didn’t really call the country that we’re guests in a narco democracy.” Crosby asked without asking, Javier looked at the man and shook his head once.
“Are you sayin’ that it isn’t?” he replied, looking at the ambassador tightening his jaw.
“The state department’s livid.”
Javier nodded a few times.
“Good, they’re responsible,” he let out and shrugged slightly “we all are.”
“Samper is not going anywhere.” Crosby let him know, quite exasperated. Javier dropped his eyes to the man’s desk.
“Well, at least people know the truth.” he said, including himself in the sentence. No more lies.
Javier saw Crosby shake his head and study the four walls that surrounded them, and he caught himself wanting to read him like you would be able to.
“I want you gone, Peña,” the ambassador told him, Javier guessed so “so do the colombians.”
“I understand, sir.” Javier replied and Crosby said nothing else. He looked at the ambassador for a few seconds and saw also a shell of a man. He guesses that it wasn’t so much the job that took a person’s humanity, but the context in which they do it.
He stood up and walked towards the door.
“You know…” Crosby called, Javier turned around “any aspirations you had for your career just got dragged behind the barn and shot.”
Javier licked his lower lip and allowed himself to look intently at the ambassador, the man looked at him with something he thought was pity.
“I resigned from the DEA this morning.”
Crosby stood up straighter when he heard it, Javier said it almost solemnly, and saying it out loud not only made it more real, but it really made him feel light as a feather for the first time since he was a teenager when he walked out of the ambassador’s office for the last time in his life.
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This shit is fake bby!!!
Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.
I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care
First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.
Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content
So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.
1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?
2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?
3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.
Moving on
Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.
Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.
Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about
The patriarchy
Privilege
Socialism
No more personal responsibility(?)
The... nature of power in society(??)
How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.
On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.
Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on
Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.
I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.
I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.
Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.
Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!
Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one
Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..
These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.
But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:
1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.
And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.
And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"
Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.
However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.
Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone
Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.
#iasip#s15 spoilers#oy vey.....#they could also be written by a reddit fan who is too much of a pussy to just write fanfic but that seems kinda unlikely?#cause 1. itll be disproven so everyone will know u just... wrote weird fanfic#and 2. there are a lot of little details that are so random that even if this is a fan just messing with people.... why put in so much effo#wahtever im pressing post#actually tho what gge fuck is that priest line supposed to imply#i guess for mac it could be talking about his view that god smites enemies and u must fear him blah blah#i jus don't know what it was supposed to imply about gus!!!#bc they describe gus like he is fat mac with healthy views on the bible which :]#then that last line just gives me whiplash what does that mean!!
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please talk more about your thoughts on mary / judaism i am 👁
sure i mean the thing about mary being jewish is that it's less of a headcanon and more of a . specific type of ghostfacers effect true-and-not-true-at-the-same-time thing cause at the end of the day spn is a show about family trauma made by a bunch of jewish people and i think way too much of this fandom feels way too comfortable just completely ignoring it but it's whatever. hopefully this won't get too long but here we go
first there's houses of the holy as a stand alone - and obviously this might just be me cause i never see anyone talk about it but for me, when you have a jewish woman writing about a child who was taught that [angels] are watching over his whole family, only to see his mom burning and his house torn apart, making him resent his god, it has very clear undertones. it's why i'm really sensitive about dean and faith and the insinuation that he Needs to find faith again to heal or whatever... absolutely not. let him stay mad. there's also this quote that i just loooove cause it's exactly how i see dean and faith, cause you still see those moments where he still wants to believe but he's just so angry and traumatized. either way. obviously i suppose the idea of losing faith after a tragedy isn't exclusive to jews and i don't want to say this is obviously a metaphor for That but in this specific case it just feels unavoidable you know?
then there's the michael brainwashing which is really interesting and more headcanon territory and idk if this is what you wanted but. i think that mary has this weird fog in her head over everything faith related bc of it and it's a really interesting mindscape to explore but the bottom line is that i'd just like to think that mary would practice judaism as a way to feel connected to her past and her parents. she threw away so much so she can have a safe and Normal life and it just sounds so lonely, to live when no one knows who you are. i think that esp if she wasn't much of a believer before the mindwipe messed with her head then maybe she'd feel weird doing it around john, like, she wouldn't want him to press on where did this come from, so i think she would do little things like light candles on shabbat with dean when john would be away for some reason, and well, dean lighting candles with mary is basically canon thanks to that one moment in 12.04 so #confirmed thanks davy. honestly i think that when faith is a way to connect to your past and feel connected to your family but also literal angels fucked up your life it creates a super complicated relationship to faith and they are losers and cowards for not exploring this with neither claire or mary
and well i suppose the meat of it is hunting as a metaphor which is obviously something i think about a lot cause it's so central to the show but i'm kind of reluctant to talk about bc of hunting being what it is and you know how they're basically supernatural cops going around killing things that are genetically different etc etc so it comes with a miiiiile of bad implications but like. at the end of the day. it's about how mary's death completely cut off the boys from their family's history and background, it's how mary's death made dean resent her faith and led to him cutting off sam from it completely, it's how for both mary and sam, no matter how much they tried to change and bury and hide who they are Something still Came For Them and burned their house down and forced their family back on the road. esp the theme of losing connection to your family history and culture is something that they explicitly parallel with judaism in 8.13 so even though i dislike the men of letters and the henry retcon... that episode is very beautiful in that sense
#this DID get long👍🏼#obviously a lot of this is kind of very personal and obviously based on personal experience that is not universal. but#btw to clarify what i mean about feeling too comfortable ignoring this i obviously don't mean different headcanons or reinterpretations#i mean specifically sections of fandom that feel free to dismiss themes of generational trauma in favor of gay interpretations that would#make the story more relatable to them Um maube take a moment to consider this isn't yours to dismiss#anyways. *gets off soapbox*#✡
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Welcome to the End
Summary: Y/N Winchester was a hunter like her brothers, following in their fathers footsteps. Saving people, hunting things, the family business.
During a case in Georgia, you meet the Dixon brothers and after saving Daryl's life against a Chupacabra, the two of you become close. But, when the zombie apocalypse starts, life as you know it changes forever.
FANFIC TRAILER
Basically a Supernatural/The Walking Dead crossover fic where Chuck starts the zombie apocalypse in S14E20 'Welcome to The End'
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Winchester!Reader
Word Count: 4.5k
Warnings: Language, minor descriptions of blood
A/N- Well here it is. I've been writing and planning this for well over a year and it's finally ready.
The first half of this chapter is slow because it's basically just background info, but I promise it gets better.
This fic basically picks up straight into Season 14 Episode 20 of SPN when Chuck gives the boys the 'Equaliser' handgun to kill Jack.
Chapter 1- Prologue
Your father was a hunter. Your mother was an angel. They were from two worlds that were never meant to meet. They made you what you are today. A daughter of an angel. A born hunter. A Nephilim. But, most importantly; a Winchester.
You were only two years younger than your brother, Sam, but despite your powers your older brothers were extremely protective over you and you were protective over them. If anyone so much as laid a finger on either of them, they'd have hell to pay.
You never knew about your powers when you were younger. You never even knew you were a Nephilim or that they even existed and you never knew who your mother was. The only thing you did know about her was her name; Lucille.
Your Dad used to say your mother was just some woman he hooked up with one day. She got pregnant and he got left with the baby, but there was so much more to the story that he never told you.
Your mother was an angel.
Your Dad did hook up with her, that part was true. However, it wasn't just a one night stand, John Winchester fell in love with her, but Lucille ended it.
She told him who she really was and said that she couldn't stay because it was too dangerous for him and his two sons. So, Lucille left. Until one day she showed up on his doorstep covered in blood and bruises with a baby in her arms. She gave him the baby saying the name 'Y/N' before she disappeared and he never heard or saw her ever again.
You grew up as a hunter, following in your fathers footsteps beside your eldest brother, Dean. Although, Sam didn't like the hunter life, the three of you came together when your Dad went missing and life as you knew it changed within just a few short months.
Before John died he told you who your true mother was, and told you what you were, but you refused to believe it. It was impossible, angels didn't exist. But, then you met Castiel and your whole world changed. Over the years Cas helped you with your powers, taught you how to use them and how to control them.
Sam and Dean were shocked to say the least, but were always there and supportive while you were trying to figure everything out. Despite being part angel, nothing really changed. You went on hunts with your brothers and your powers were just an added bonus that helped you take down whatever supernatural creature you were facing.
Then years later, the whole thing with Jack Kline happened. Then the archangel Michael, and then Jack lost his soul... and then he killed Mary Winchester and that drew the line.
Mary wasn't your biological mother, but when she got bought back she became like the mother you never had. It was a bit rocky at first especially between her and Dean when she first came back, but things were just starting to get better, it starting to feel like a proper family and within a second it was all over.
Then, because things weren't already fucked up and complicated enough Chuck finally showed up.
He gave you a weapon that was powerful enough to kill Jack. It looked like just your average silver desert eagle handgun, but apparently it could kill anything, except it had a catch. What happened to the person you shoot at also happened to you, so in other words; you die.
After talking about it between Dean, Sam, Cas and Chuck it was clear everyone was on different pages. Cas wanted to save Jack, Dean wanted to kill Jack while you and Sam were sort of sitting in the middle unsure of what to do, but deep down you knew it had to be done. You couldn't risk the fate of the world, like Chuck had said, Jack was dangerous and could easily destroy the world if he wanted to.
"Sam, you know what needs to happen." You said breaking the silence.
You looked over at your brother who was sitting on the other side of the war table, shaking his head.
Cas had stormed off after an argument with Dean and Dean had walked out the room shortly after. Chuck had disappeared again which left you and Sam sitting at the table in total confusion.
"Don't you start too." Sam sighed looking over at you in disbelief and you just shrugged your shoulders.
"Just thinking logically here, bro. But, we should probably go talk to Dean. I don't like how he walked off and took that gun with him." You stated causing Sam's eyes to quickly dart down to the table not realising Dean had taken it.
In an instant, Sam was on his feet and you followed him down the hallway to Deans bedroom.
"Dean?" You called out, knocking on his door that was already slightly open.
"Yeah?"
You took that as your cue to open the door, but all you could see was his empty bed before you heard the soft clinking of a glass bottle coming from behind the door.
"Over here." Dean called out as you turned around to find him sitting at the small table that was located behind the door.
You eyed the bottle of Jack Daniels that was he currently pouring into a flask, but decided not to ask.
"Glad you guys are here. I actually need to talk to you about something. Um... have a seat." Dean said motioning towards his bed.
You shared a quick glance at Sam before you both sat down on the edge of his bed and looked over at your older brother.
"What's going, bro?" You asked, trying to keep your tone calm although you already knew where this conversation was going and like hell were you going to let Dean be the one to pull the trigger on the suicidal gun.
"You know what I'm gonna say." Dean responded, leaning back in his chair.
"Let me guess. This is where you tell us that you're gonna pull the trigger?" Sam asked, but it was clear he already knew the answer.
"Yeah, it is. We don't have a choice, Sam." Dean said, his eyes glancing between the two of you.
"Of course we do. Don't we always? I mean, isn't that the point of everything we've ever done, that we always have a choice?" Sam questioned and you could tell he was trying to keep his voice under control, but you could hear the emotion behind it.
"He killed our mom." Dean said in defeat.
"I get it. I was mad too. Or you know what? Hell, I'm still mad. And a part of me still wants Jack dead, it really does. But Dean, we haven't even tried to save him-" Sam began to say before he was cut off.
"Save- Okay. You heard him, right? He actually blamed mom for what happened." Dean argued.
"He doesn't have a soul!" Sam exclaimed using his hands to try made a point causing Dean to shake his head.
"And who's fault is that?" He asked and you couldn't sit back and listen to this any longer.
"Ours. He burnt off his soul for us. You, me, Sam and Cas. Us. Now, I don't like this idea, the kid is family, but Dean’s right. We don't have a choice." You explained, looking between your two brothers as Dean nodded in agreement, but Sam looked ready to argue and you held your hand up to silence him.
"Don't. Now one of us has to pull that trigger and it's gonna be me." You declared causing Dean to suddenly sit up straight in his chair as he stared at you like you had gone crazy.
"No!" They both shouted in sync causing you to roll your eyes. How many times have you heard them say that to you over the years?
"It's not up for discussion. Jack is a Nephilim, a son of Lucifer and a lot more powerful than me, but I'm still a Nephilim too and heal quickly. If anyone can survive pulling the trigger it's me." You tried to explain, but you might as well be talking to a brick wall because neither of them were listening.
"Like hell we're letting you risk that. That's not happening, ever." Dean stated sternly, his eyes narrowing in your direction and you sighed.
"Dean-" You began to say before Sam spoke up.
"No. Neither of you are doing it. You guys want me to say that I'm cool with losing Jack and one of you all at once? Because I can't do that. I won't do that... I... No. We've already lost too much." Sam responded, wiping the tears from his eyes before he stood up and walked out the room, not giving you or Dean a chance to say anything further.
You glanced over Dean who shook his head and picked up a glass of whiskey tipping it back in one shot. You sighed and fell backwards until your back hit his mattress as you stared up at the ceiling.
"I miss the days where the only things we had to worry about were cases about Wendigos or hell, even just ordinary demons." You commented a few moments later causing Dean to chuckle from the table.
"Me too, sis. Me too." He sighed as you sat yourself back up and looked over at him.
"We'll figure something out. I'll go talk to Sam." You said and Dean nodded as you stood up and began to walking out, patting him on the shoulder before you closed the door behind you.
You slowly made your way back to the main room of the bunker, going via your bedroom to put a flannel on over your tank top.
"You're scared of him." Sam's voice spoke up from the main room of the bunker causing you to freeze where you stood in the hallway as you tried to figure out who he was talking to. Was Cas back?
"Aren't you?" Chucks voice responded. Great, he was back. Maybe he might be useful for once.
"Do you know where Jack is?" You asked, walking into the room, spotting the two of them standing on the other side of the war table.
"Yes."
"Then what are you waiting for?" Sam questioned in confusion, focusing back on Chuck.
"Oh, nothing. Dean's already gone." He informed causing Sam's eyes to snap over at you in panic.
Without a second thought you quickly used your powers and teleported into Deans room, but it was empty. Son of a bitch. .
"He's not in his room. Where the hell is Jack?" You questioned angrily as you teleported back into the main room.
Your eyes started to glow bright purple as you marched towards Chuck before Sam quickly grabbed your shoulders to stop you from doing something stupid.
"The cemetery." Chuck answered before he vanished into thin air.
Shit, you've never been to this towns cemetery before which meant you couldn't teleport there. Stupid fucking teleportation limits. The one damn cemetery you hadn't visited before, typical.
"My car, now." You instructed as you and Sam sprinted out the room to the garage and you jumped into the drivers seat, slamming the gear stick into reverse.
The drive across town felt like it would never end, but eventually you reached the cemetery. You had driven way to fast to be even considered dangerous driving, but neither of you cared as you pulled in and parked beside the Impala before hurriedly climbing out.
"Dean!" Sam yelled, spotting your brother first as he began to run off.
You quickly turned in his direction to find Dean standing in the middle of the cemetery. He had the gun raised at Jack who was sitting on his knees in front of him. Shit.
"Dean!" You shouted, quickly teleporting closer, landing only a few metres away. "Dean." You said again, your voice now softer as you glanced down at Jack who was just staring up at Dean waiting for him to pull the trigger.
"I understand. I know what I have done." Jack said calmly.
The kid glanced over at you for a second and gave you a small smile before he looked back towards Dean while Sam was still running across the cemetery, trying to catch up.
"Stay back, Y/N. You too, Sam." Dean instructed and you glanced over your shoulder to find Sam only a few metres behind you now, but he stopped, listening to his brother's warning.
"You were right, all along. I am a monster." Jack said, but you shook your head.
Shit, you might have agreed that this was the only choice, but you didn't want him to die. You didn't want Jack to die, he was just a kid.
"Dean, please don't." You whispered watching as he pushed the hammer down with his thumb, loading the gun.
For a moment you thought about using your powers on Dean, to stop him, but you quickly shook that idea. You refused to use your powers on your family unless it was to heal them. You nearly killed Sam once when you were still learning how to control your powers and you hadn't so much as thought about using them on someone you cared about ever again.
Dean hovered his finger over the trigger, the gun still raised to Jacks head. But, but not a second later he lowered the gun and you let out a shaky breath that you didn't even realise that you were holding in.
Sudden movement caught your eye and you looked up spotting Cas standing himself up and walking over to you. You frowned wondering what happened to him as Dean tossed the gun to the ground.
"No! Pick it up." Chucks voice shouted causing you to jump slightly as you turned around to find him now standing next to Sam.
Chuck really needed a damn bell on him or something.
"This isn't how the story is supposed to end." Chuck stated walking over to you and Dean as he glanced down at Jack.
"The story?" Cas questioned in confusion as he helped Jack to his feet.
"Look at it. The gathering storm, the gun, the father killing his own son. This is Abraham and Isaac. This is epic." Chuck explained motioning towards Dean and Jack causing you to shake your head in confusion as you tried to figure out what the hell that all meant.
"Wait, what are you saying?" Dean asked, but before Chuck could answer Sam did.
"He's saying, he's been playing us. This whole time. Our entire lives. Mom... Dad... Everything. This is all you because you wrote it all, right? Because... Because what? We're your favourite show? Because we're a part of your story?" Sam questioned and you looked back towards Chuck in absolute shock.
He had been playing you, right from the start. From the moment you were born and handed to your birth father after your mother disappeared. Did he make your mother come to earth to meet John? Did he make her leave? What even happened to your mother? Was she still alive? Did he make John die just because he thought it was fucking funny?!
"Okay, Dean, no offence, but your brother is stupid and crazy. And that kid is still dangerous. So, pick up the gun. Pick it up and pull the trigger... and I'll bring her back. Your mom." Chuck negotiated and your jaw dropped. Was he seriously going to bring Mary into this?
Dean glanced over at Sam and Cas before looking towards you like he was at a loss for what do before he looked back at Chuck and shook his head.
"No." He answered, taking a few steps back until he was standing beside Sam. "My mom is my hero and I miss her. I will miss her every second of my life, but she would not want this."
"It's not like you even really care. The apocalypse, the first go-around, with Lucifer and Michael. You knew everything that was going on, so why the games, Chuck? Why didn't you snap your fingers and end it?!" You shouted, your eyes flashing bright purple as you stared at him.
"Look I-" Chuck began to say before Sam cut him off.
"And every other bad thing we've been killing, been dying over. Where were you? Just sitting back and watching us suffer, so we can do this over and over and over again. Fighting, losing people we love? When does it end? Tell me!" Sam shouted, but Chuck just completely ignored him as he looked over at your other brother.
"Dean, don't do this-" Chuck tried to say.
"We're done talking. Because this... this isn't just a story. It's our lives! So God or no God, you go to hell." Dean yelled pointing towards Chuck causing him to chuckle in disbelief.
"Have it your way." Chuck responded as he raised his hand, clicking his fingers causing Jack to suddenly scream.
You quickly looked over at kid in horror as bright light burst through his eyes and mouth like he had just been stabbed with an angel blade, but he didn't. Chuck was killing him.
"Jack!" You shouted, watching as he fell to the floor still screaming in pain and you quickly dropped to your knees beside him, Cas right there with you. But, there was nothing either of you could do.
"Stop it. Stop it!" Dean and Sam both yelled and you glanced over your shoulder just in time to watch Chuck throw Dean and Sam across the cemetery as their bodies slammed into a couple gravestones before they landed on the ground.
You glanced down at Jack and that's when you spotted the handgun just lying on the ground a few metres away where Dean had tossed it.
Without any further thought you held your hand out, using your powers as the gun flew into your hand. You caught it easily, noting that it was still loaded before you turned towards Chuck, who was standing a few metres away looking at your brother's.
"Hey, Chuck!" You shouted, catching his attention as he began to turn around and you quickly squeezed the trigger.
Sudden pain burst through your shoulder as you watched the bullet pierce through Chucks left shoulder. The force of the hit sent you flying back a few feet, landing on the ground and you weren't to able to stop the small cry of pain from escaping your lips.
You glanced down spotting a bullet wound in your left shoulder and it wasn't like you hadn't been shot before, but this one hurt a hell of a lot worse.
"Fine! That's the way you want it? Alright, you'll be seeing your father soon!" Chuck yelled, drawing your attention back to him to find him still standing there with a bullet wound through the same shoulder.
"Story's over. Welcome to the end." He declared as he snapped his fingers and he suddenly disappeared, but nothing else happened. What the hell? Was something meant to happen? It sure as hell felt like something dramatic was meant to happen.
"Hey, hey, you okay? Y/N?" Dean's voice shouted bringing you out of your thoughts as him and Sam crouched down in front of you with panicked eyes.
"Yeah, I'm good." You winced as you touched the bullet wound.
You expected it to be healed up already, but as you pulled your fingers away they were laced with blood causing you to frown.
Your brother's helped you to your feet, seeming worried that the bullet wound hasn't healed yet, but you ignored them as you rushed over to Jack.
His lifelessly body was just lying on the ground as Cas knelt down beside him. No. No. No. He couldn't be dead. Not Jack, not like this. This couldn't be happening. None of this could be happening. You had to be dreaming, no if you were dreaming then your shoulder wouldn't be hurting. Fuck.
"Wait, I thought Chuck said the gun was the only thing that could..." Dean trailed off as you tried to force the tears in your eyes to go away. He was dead. Jack was gone.
"He's a writer. Writers lie." Cas responded and you knew he was fighting back tears as well.
You dropped to your knees beside him unable to stop the tears falling down your cheeks as you covered your mouth with your hands to try a muffle your sobs.
Cas' hand gently grabbed your shoulder for comfort and that was all it took before you broke down. Cas quickly wrapped his arm over your shoulders and pulled you into his side as you cried into him.
Your brothers dropped to the ground behind you, you could hear Sam's sharp breaths as he struggled to hold himself together and you were pretty sure Dean was in the same boat.
None of you said anything for nearly 10 minutes as you sat there and stared at Jack's dead body. His eyes burnt out from whatever Chuck had done to him before Sam and Dean carried his body back to the Impala announcing that he deserved a hunters funeral.
Sam and Cas drove your car back to the bunker to collect a few of Jacks things and supplies while you and Dean drove out to the woods. He parked near a creek which was where him and Jack had gone fishing together and figured it was a good place to do it.
You remembered how happy the kid was when him and Dean had came home that day. He wouldn't shut about the fishing trip for the whole week and you knew Dean loved it too, but he'd never admit it.
"I'm gonna go get some smaller sticks by the creek." You called out, your voice hoarse from all the crying and Dean just nodded.
You teleported over to the creek, but the second you did your legs instantly buckled from underneath you as searing pain erupted through your head.
You could feel blood starting to drip from your nose as you grabbed your head, squeezing your eyes shut at the pain. It was like someone was hammering a thousand nails into your skull at the same time and there was nothing you could do to stop it.
"Y/N?!" Dean's voice shouted in the background somewhere, but you could barely hear it through the blood rushing in your ears.
What the hell was happening? You could always teleport and never be affected like this.
"Hey, hey, talk to me. What's happening? Y/N?" Dean questioned in panic.
You just shook your head unable to get words out your mouth as you kept your eyes closed and hands over your head, hoping it would try to lessen the pain.
"Sam, get here now. Something's happening to Y/N- Fucked if I know, she teleported and now she's in pain, I think it's her head and her nose it bleeding- I don't know! -Okay, just get here." Dean shouted into his phone, but you couldn't hear him.
What felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, the pain eventually reduced into a dull ache and you slowly opened your eyes to find your brother sitting right in front of you with worried eyes.
"I-I'm okay." You whispered breathlessly as you wiped the blood from your nose, but Deans face hardened as he shook his head.
"What just happened?" He asked and you shrugged your shoulders.
"I don't know. It's my powers. I can't heal myself and when I tried earlier I got a dull ache in my head, but after teleporting it felt like my head was going to explode. Hang on, let me try something." You said as you shakily stood yourself up.
You held your hands out and tried to move a stone from the ground with your powers, but the second the stone started to rise the sharp pain spiked through your head and you quickly lowered your hands.
"It's my powers. Fuck, this has to be Chuck. Whatever he did when he snapped his fingers, this must be part of it." You groaned, rubbing the side of your head.
Dean looked at you hopelessly, not knowing what to say or what to do because what the hell were you meant to do? Your powers were screwed, Jack was dead, everything was falling apart.
By the time Sam and Cas came back, you and Dean had cut most of the wooden logs and the four of you neatly stacked them up around Jack's body.
Sam and Cas had asked what was wrong with you earlier and you explained what happened hoping Cas might have an answer, but he didn't. He didn't know why your powers were having side effects.
After you burned Jack and gave him a send-off that he deserved, you all went back to bunker. The wound on your shoulder wasn't showing any signs of healing on it's own. Cas had tried to heal it too, but for some reason he couldn't.
So, Sam stitched it up and bandaged it, saying to just keep an eye on it and make sure it didn't get worse. But, that was the furthest thing on your mind right now as the four of you all sat down around the war table.
"What the hell did Chuck mean? He said 'story's over, welcome to the end', what the hell does that mean?" Dean questioned, unable to hide the anger in his tone as he glanced around the table hoping one of you knew the answer.
"Maybe he was bluffing." Sam answered, although it was clear he didn't believe a word he just said. Chuck never bluffed. Whenever he did something, it was always go big or go home.
"Something's going to happen... or somethings already happened, I can feel it. Best guess is another apocalypse or maybe the ground will just open up and swallow everyone whole. I don't know, but something big is going to happen." You insisted.
"She's right, I can feel it too. I fear whatever Chuck had in mind, has already begun." Cas spoke up and you nodded in agreement causing Dean to sigh, rubbing his face with his hands.
"We should call everyone. Warn them that something is going to happen." Sam suggested and you all began pulling your phones out. "I'll call Donna and Jodie." He said, standing up from the table as he began to dial their numbers and walk out the room.
"I'll call Bobby, Charlie and Rick." Dean stated, following his brothers lead as he stood up, patting your good shoulder gently before he wandered off to his bedroom.
"Cas, can you give me a moment." You said, holding up your phone and he nodded, giving you a sad smile before he walked out the room to give you some privacy.
You unlocked your phone and scrolled through the contacts until you came across the familiar name.
Daryl Dixon.
You stared at his name for a few seconds before you took a deep breath and pressed the green call button.
-
MASTERLIST
Next Chapter
Tag Lists- I will reblog with my tag lists, so if you wanted to be added to just let me know.
A/N- Well, there’s the first chapter. I am very nervous about this fic, it’s my first ever crossover and it’s my first time writing for SPN, so I really want to get it right.
Now, I know this chapter was a little slow, but like I said above it needed to be more background info before we get into the apocalypse and start meeting TWD characters.
Throughout the next few chapters there will be some flashback scenes which will explain how Y/N and Daryl know each other, also if you’re wondering why Dean said he would call ‘Bobby, Charlie and Rick’ it’ll be explained later how the Winchesters know Rick Grimes so don’t worry.
Anyway, that’s enough rambling from me. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I would love to hear your thoughts about it below and the next chapter will be up next week, so stay tuned. But, until next time, stay safe everyone and have a great day xx
#Daryl Dixon x Reader#daryl dixon#daryl dixon fanfic#daryl dixon fanfiction#the walking dead#the walking dead fanfic#the walking dead fanfiction#twd#supernatural#spn#supernatural fanfiction#dean winchester#Dean Winchester fanfic#Sam Winchester#sam winchester fanfic#castiel#destiel#john winchester
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