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stupid-stew · 3 years

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character names keep me alive, toh is my lifeblood.

i am literally obsessed and this show really does provide (i still have to add more smh my head dana terrace why do you do this to me jk i love it so much please never stop) COPY AND PASTED FROM DOC UNDER BREAK

NAMES INCLUDED:

FIRST NAME

LILITH

EDA

LUZ

KING

WILLOW

GUS

ASSORTED BLIGHTS

LAST NAME

BLIGHT

CLAWTHORNE

NOCEDA

PORTER

PARK

BUMP

MISCELLANEOUS

BELOS

HIERONYMUS AND BOSCHA

ADEGAST

HOOTY

OWLBERT

KIKIMORA

GWENDOLYN

RAYNE

NOTE EVERYTHING BEFORE GWENDOLYN AS OF 6/24/21 WRITTEN WITHOUT SEASON 2 KNOWLEDGE, TO BE REVISED, REVISIONS IN BOLD!

Hello and welcome to the ramblings of a mad man. Before we get into it I think you should note that I do write like I talk because I think like a talk and I write how I think, so if you are confused as to why it sounds like i’m not making sense its because I'm not making sense also my capitalization and punctuation suck so sorry about that but we don’t have time for technicalities in this house. TO ADVENTURE!

FIRST NAME

LILITH

EDA

LUZ

KING

WILLOW

GUS

ASSORTED BLIGHTS

LAST NAME

BLIGHT

CLAWTHORNE

NOCEDA

PORTER

PARK

BUMP

MISCELLANEOUS

BELOS

HIERONYMUS AND BOSCHA

ADEGAST

HOOTY

OWLBERT

KIKIMORA

GWENDOLYN

RAYNE

GILBERT

FIRST NAME

LILITH

Ok so because I'm lilith’s bitch we are gonna start with her because her name is so cool and I love her and we should be besties Lilith hmu. Anyways as most people know Lilith is a pre existing mythological character which makes this very much good because that means it’s all outlined. Most people know her as a demonic figure, which I very much dig but similar to our lovely queen of curses out here, that's not all she is. There isn’t going to be a chronological explanation of similarities and conclusions, cope. The basic gist is that Lilith was this chick with fiery red hair (this is important iykyk) who refused to be beneath or below adam, more specifically to subjugate to him, funny because of the tapestry with belos what says subjugation on it, probably a coincidence but I do not believe in coincidence right now. Anyways basically she runs off and becomes this chick who like snatches children and will make them sick if they don’t have an amulet with the names Senoy, Sansenoy, or Semangelof on them, thats a different story but what I find interesting is this one passage,

“(12) Her nobles shall be no more, nor shall kings be proclaimed there; all her princes are gone. (13) Her castles shall be overgrown with thorns, her fortresses with thistles and briers. She shall become an abode for jackals and a haunt for ostriches. (14) Wildcats shall meet with desert beasts, satyrs shall call to one another; There shall the Lilith repose, and find for herself a place to rest. (15) There the hoot owl shall nest and lay eggs, hatch them out and gather them in her shadow; There shall the kites assemble, none shall be missing its mate. (16) Look in the book of the LORD and read: No one of these shall be lacking, For the mouth of the LORD has ordered it, and His spirit shall gather them there. (17) It is He who casts the lot for them, and with His hands He marks off their shares of her; They shall possess her forever, and dwell there from generation to generation.”

And there are separate part of this that I find relevant, especially the description of the location, i’m not all that familiar with symbolism of animals in religious texts, so i’m gonna take it at face value and say that this is more or less a description that could be given to the physical owl house itself, sort of a place for people who don’t fit in, its a little messy and I guess one could say overgrown, but it’s a place for anyone, a place to rest now hopefully for Lilith away from the coven, there shall the Lilith repose. On top of that we see the “the hoot owl…” and you’re probably thinking what that so crazy wacko because like why are they referring to Lilith as the hoot owl isn't Eda the owl lady, yes she is. That’s why the actual meanings of lilith’s name that come from her mythological depiction as a demon lady are so important. We have night monster, night owl, night spectre, vampires, night hag, night creature, nightjar (which is another kind of bird), and night bird, all of these seem to fit lilith’s dark aesthetic very nicely which is very good for her, but there are two other ones, hot owl and screech owl, which draw her closer to Edaand away from the coven and her depiction in the mid-later episodes of the show as a monster for cursing eda, but also the name night monster could come into play if while sharing the curse Lilith acquired some of its traits, similar to Ed aas the owl beast. Ultimately, we have this little red head girl who eventually fights back against the men who are attempting to get her to be under them, for the character that is belos, for the other Lilith that is adam, god, and his angels, and now hopefully both of them will find solace and repose among the owls in a place they never thought they’d belong. All this talk of owls and god brings us into the other clawthorne baddie:

Lilith did find her repose! I love her staying in the owl house, get it queen oh yuh.

EDA

For this I'm going to use her full name edalyn, because you know like that’s just how it be it is her name. There isn’t a wiki page for her name like there is for Lilith which makes this a little bit harder but the general consensus seems to be that it means something along the lines of “gift of god”, which I find very interesting. If you are going to name a child gift of god i’m assuming that you are referring to the child themselves, but I don’t think that really applies to eda. I’m not religious, but its my impression that someone who lies, cheats, pranks, and steals their way to the top and isn’t exactly the most responsible witch on the isles and might not be the best gift god could give. I do really love Eda though, her character flaws are still a part of her character, but I think this refers to her powers. Eda considers herself to be the boiling isles gift to magic, which I mean like, have you seen the woman. In agony of a witch we see her at what probably 30% of her power with how much the curse was already tolling on her and how much magic she was probably using to fight it off, and like goddamn. She was almost beating lilith, definitely beating the shit out of her, but she was almost defeating Lilith who was at her full power, and that is just a fraction of what she used to be able to do. Her powers were a gift of god, and I think that the loss of them will greatly affect her. She’s already admitted that she doesn’t know how to do much without her magic, and I think going straight from the second most powerful witch on this isles to having no power at all is going to be incredibly taxing on her, physically and mentally.

Luckily for her the name edalyn also means patience, another thing about her name is that it not only means gift of god, but also similar things like gifted by the gods or even goddess, and this draws a connection to Lilith who is named after a demonic figure, casted out for having defied god, they are quite literally polar opposites on the name spectrum, and we see that a lot in the show, they are completely different people, I mean have you looked at them they don’t even look related, but the funnier thing is that their personalities do the same thing. You’d expect Edain her youth to be a gift from the devil, just ask principal bump, and Lilith seemed to be a goody two shoes who worked her ass off, their names could be switched based off their characters alone.

A random baby name site I found said that :

“Persons with the name edalyn are usually highly flexible and well equipped to making and accepting change throughout their life. They always seek excitement and are sometimes a bit of a risk taker. They are imaginative, and often, through their unconventional way of thinking, are naturally able to solve complex problems with ease. They are quick thinkers and observers who are clever, analytical and versatile”

Which I mean like very much applies to eda, she takes change like a champ, either genuinely or by pretending she’s ok with everything, and is always seeking excitement. Like literally all of the time. Always. I think she takes felonies as a compliment, and one of the biggest changes in her life that she genuinely was able to adapt to and appreciate was

OH MY GOD HER LEARNING THE NEW GLYPHS WAS SO CUUUUTTTEEE, I love her being able to adapt, she really is doing well. As the beginning of separate tides shows, she’s working around it, and is doing a damn good job, living up to her name.

LUZ

Ok I think at this point everyone knows that at this point the name Luz means light, and if you didn't, oopsies now you do. The character Luz was named and designed after a real life person the miss dana terrace knew at the time she was starting to really think about the show, Luz ’s personalty comes more from dana herself and we love that, but the character has really started to grow into her name. This is made most obvious when the first spell Luz learns is the light glyph, not only coming into her own as a witch, but also starting to live up to her name, which along with light also has to do with “Our Lady of Light”, which is the virgin mary, fitting her right in with the other biblical names we got going on here. I really want to stress that I know next to zero about religion, and all of the connections I am making come from wikipedia, so bare with me here. But most of the time mary seems to be this pure, saint like figure, which I think is what a lot of people see Luz as, especially on the isles. I’m going to flat out say that this is in no way meant to pass off Luz as simple minded, pure, or oblivious, because we have seen what that girl is willing to do, she faced death and poked him in the with an ice cicle. In terms of life on the isles, however, she is more or less pure and sheltered, she’s completely new to the world she’s in, but she does quickly adapt, and shows more of her strong side, and remains a good person throughout all of it, taking losses as they come, and not letting them remain losses at the same time.

Back to the whole light thing, we already touched on the whole literal bit of her and the light spell, but can you think of a better way to describe Luz ? She literally brings light everywhere she goes, even Eda admits that she’s changed things for the better, for everyone around her too. Willow got a new friend, probably the first friend she’s had in a long time, and even got to begin repairing her relationship with amity, and got placed in the plant track so she could do the things she loves, all because of Luz . Edagot to grow as a person and a mentor, and finally got someone willing to accept all her eda-ness, unconditionally, someone to really care about that really cares about her back, all because of Luz . Amity got a friend who cares about her, not just her family name and money, someone who supports her and will do anything for her because she is her friend, and a bit of self discovery along the way for amity, all because of Luz . Not a single person on the isles who has had more than 2 minutes of interaction with Luz hasn’t had their lives improved, even belos got his portal, and the thing is that even characters who people might not even consider changed have been, characters such as

Luz my beloved, she seems a little bit less of a light this season, and i do mean little. That’s totally fine though, it’s expected, i didn’t want her to just be this bright shining star after the events of the last two episodes of season 1, and appreciate her going and starting to take the fantasy of the isles with more than just a grain of salt. Obviously like in escaping expulsion, she’s still trying her best to make everything better and make friends with everyone, but there’s something a little different about it and i’m here for it tbh.

KING

The name king itself is obvious, he is royalty, the king of demoNS HIMSELF ASMODEUS hahahaha pulled a sneaky on you now accept my ideas as your own. I am on a mythological name kick, deal with it. The most important thing here is in the bible, asmodeus poses himself as a false god, which I know is something we have all considered with king, that he might be a full on liar, not be a king of anything and is just your ordinary street demon, it’s even come up in the show with him calling himself the king of artists and Luz asking him if he was just making it up at this point. It’s a good theory, I can see it, and this could be used as proof. There is also another legend that paints him as a good natured dude, who eventually banishes the king by literally throwing him, and then he loses his powers and is banished, but this is also the same legend where he marries Lilith and that is not something I am down for. There is another text in which he tells the king (the same one he threw in the other one) that his kingdom will one day be divided and the king does not believe him, and this is the same text where he admits to hating water and birds because they remind him of god. Lets think class, who has the god name and is related to birds here? King’s name by itself holds true to his character, who (regardless of if it is truthful or not) holds himself as if he is a king, and he isn't the only one with a name like that, there is also

WILLOW

Ok I know we all thought it, willow, the plant girl, how fiendishly clever. This also happens to be the only descriptor for her name I could find, which is totally fine because I think it’s a very cute name and willow is also very cute. This means we get to go into the symbolism of the willow tree wwwooooOOOOO aren’t you so very excited I know I am. Its kind of interesting, willow trees seem to match the character, understanding, warm, a safe space really, but most of all the ability to let go of pain and suffering, sometimes outright ignore it, and move on. Willow does always say out of sight out of mind does she not? She is willing to ignore, even excuse people bullying her, be it bosha or even amity, and the moment she got the chance her inner willow decided to try and literally burn the painful memories she had, willing to cause damage just to forget. Willow as a character is very willing to move on like nothing happened most of the time, key word most because another thing about willows is the ability to grow from the pain. Before understanding willow, we never really saw willow stand up for herself until she really had to, but hy the end of the episode she is willing to tell amity that she isn’t willing to fully forgive her, but she’s willing to grow and try. Heck, we see this over the entire first season, we see this little girl who can barely pull it together long enough to stand up for herself grow into this amazing character willing to publicly oppose the emperor and break into his castle for her friend, she tried to full out attack Lilith when 19 episodes earlier she wasn’t able to stand up to amity for bullying her. And I am in no way calling willow weak, she never was, she just needed to find the ability to show everyone that she’s strong, god I love willow so much, you wanna know who else loves willow?

GUS

Gus, my main man, love you but for this we are gonna have to use the full on augustus sorry babes. The name augustus means majestic, or venerable, which while I must say that the illusion of kiki doing the worm was probably one of the most majestic things I have ever seen, I’m going to focus on venerable a bit more here. Venerable is a big word, it means “accorded a great deal of respect, especially because of age, wisdom, or character.”, which for gus the age part might play a smaller part here, but he is good as what he does, Luz and willow both respect him, Eda Respects him, he’s this little dude who is younger than everyone and has to rely on his ability to succeed, not only with his power but with his personality. Gus seems to be confident in himself, communicating with everyone regardless of who they are or what power they hold, similarly to willow he was willing to do anything to help Luz , leading into the second description of venerable, “heroic in nature”. Now, you might be wondering, bestie where ever did you get that description, it totally wasn’t from a religious page okyesitwas but that's fine because being pronounced venerable guarantees a spot in heaven so get it bestie. Overall, the general meaning for augustus is that they are strong, respectable, and powerful, which takes us right into the

Gus, shawty, ily but please stop the obsession with death babes ur starting to scare me. I hope with the upcoming Gus content in TTLGR we will see more of him growing into his powers and such.

ASSORTED BLIGHTS

The blight first names bring me joy so I am putting amity last because I think its really funny, starting off with alador, the name alador evokes diplomacy, correctness, and confidence. We know zilch about alador, but if the vibes of the blight family have anything to say it’s definitely something along those lines. The name odalia means wealth, which I mean like have you seeeen blight manor? Also back at it again with the fact that it’s a variant of the name odilia, like the saint olilia which I don't have ties for you right now because again, we know nothing about her. Edric also means wealth, fortune, riches, powerful, you get the vibes, same thing with emira which means commander, or prince, princess, leader, or star. So you know like we have all these super powerful names happening, and then, oh boy and then we get to little miss perfect herself, amity blight. It means friendship, or harmony. If I was her I would be so mad at my parents like yall have these mad powerful names and I got stuck with friendship? Hand me the emancipation papers. You know what they say, friendship is the real magic (even if no longer taught in schools due to budget constraints). I hope that this leads more into season 2 with amity working on her friendships and ultimately her relationships in general, which we got a bit of already with her working on repairing her relationship with willow, and making the moves to cut off old toxic friendships and moving into more genuine ones with willow, Luz , and gus. I guess you could say that the only thing ALL the blights have in common with each other is their

They are rich assholes, alador is a little wacko, odalia is hot asf dana seriously what the hell man that was out of pocket. The only thing about alador that lives up to his name is his money, odalia seems more obsessed with image and money, and i too am obsessed with her image literally boy what the hell boy.

LAST NAME

BLIGHT

The word blight by itself means a plant disease which boy oh boy can you believe how nicely that fits into amity bullying willow because I sure can. Outside of just the plant bit it overall just means like something that damages another thing, and this works beautifully for each member of the family. The parents are damaging their children, the twins just causing general damage, and amity and her goddamn relationships, but fortunately that whole plant thing brings us into the next couple of last names

CLAWTHORNE

The last name clawthorne means “cold or exposed thorn tree” which had me kind of like what the heck so I went off and had some fun and got you some presents that I think are funny, so there was this guy right, his name was joseph clawthorne, and he created the term whiffenpoof, which is the name for a wildly fictitious animal, things like a jackalope, or even a griffin with spider breath, though I guess that would be the work of a

NOCEDA

Back again with the trees good lord, it means field of nut trees, so again I went into prominent people an found this guy named jorge noceda sanchez, he was a painter and some of his works are kinda baller actually it seems like something that would fit in on the isles, but also not all of the names have a deeper meanings, names like

PORTER

Ok I am like pretty sure this was just meant to be a play on the fact that gus’ dad’s name is perry and is a reporter, get it, perry porter, perry porter, reporter, but nonetheless I did some digging because why the heck not, it means doorkeeper, or gate keeper, someone who guards something like an important building, which honestly I think this would be a good last name for hooty if he ever gets one, but again not all of these are important names at the moment, or maybe they won't ever be at all, names like

PARK

At first I was kinda like l m a o willow park plant girl hahahahah plants in the park parks have trees willow is a tree but then I remembered that someone pointed out that park is a traditionally korean surname and then like a week later disney posted about it for aisian pacific american heritage month which kind of confirmed it, and I don’t know if the whole intention behind it was to establish willow as representation or not, but the surname park by itself means gourd and willow I am so sorry that is so unfortunate LMAOSIFN

BUMP

To be honest I was not expecting bump to have a last name that meant anything but it means swift walker and I think thats funny so you have to know it now

MISCELLANEOUS

BELOS

BIIIITCH LISTEN UPPPP there is a butt tone of mythology surrounding his name and its mostly a different form of it, belus, that is referenced, but same thing different shape. Most of his depiction is as a great king or ruler, in babylonian mythology being the equivalent of zeus of jupiter, which liiikkkkkeeeoajolnjojnkjakjavnjfvdfkjf but its fine everything is great its all ok most importantly, he is recognized as the god or ruler of war, and in that same mythology he lived in babylon, which “... was originally water, and called a sea. But Belus put an end to this, and assigned a district to each, and surrounded Babylon with a wall; and at the appointed time he disappeared.” and idk about you but the smell of him assigning a divide and disappearing smells sour like funky to me babes

HIERONYMUS AND BOSCHA

I am only putting this here because the fact that it’s totally a play on hieronymus bosch makes me cackle and you all have to know it thank you

ADEGAST

B-but brevyn he was only there for like one episode, yeah ok and? Radegast is the slavic god of hospitality, and there is no host like a host that pretends to take you on a mythical quest and then tries to eat you and your mentor and her deranged cat demon, ok? His name translates to “dear guest” or “welcomed guest” and I mean I think if my host tried to suck me into some fantasy would delusion i’d feel pretty welcomed

HOOTY

He is an owl

OWLBERT

He is also an owl

KIKIMORA

First and foremost, she is a little night gremlin who hates children and I think that really fits her, but she is also a little house demon, who is very difficult to get to leave, have we seen her outside the castle? Will she be a spy along with the mask next season? She also has a name that means nightmare or night demon, similar to a certain other night creature we might have heard of a while ago. She tried to strangle children and I love that for her,and she is described as a little old ugly messy haired lady and I feel like her current character has the personality of one so i’ll take it, but what really gets me is her villain origin story, which is that she "grows up with a magician in the mountains. From dawn to sunset the magician’s cat regales Kikimora with fantastic tales of ancient times and faraway places, as Kikimora rocks in a cradle made of crystal. It takes her seven years to reach maturity, by which time her head is no larger than a thimble and her body no wider than a strand of straw. Kikimora spins flax from dusk and to dawn, with evil intentions for the world.”

GWENDOLYN

Ok, the queen herself, haven’t met her yet but like who knows. Not really a whole lot here (my ears are ringing oops one sec ok i’m back hi) anyways um uh rings? Her name right off the bat has a lot to do with rings, and really that only applies to eda, because her ring was a big thing for her, she gave it to lilith, we all watched wing it like witches you know what’s up, but i mean like was that gwen’s ring? I really wanted the hand on eda’s wall to be gwen’s, very upset to see she has all of her body parts so far. I am also not sure if that’s how it’s spelled, but it means the same thing anyways. Also meaning fair or blessed, any woman who created both eda and lilith is probably mad powerful and we love to see it, also she’s a beastkeeper and i like i want to talk about that with eda’s curse but now is not the time for shenanigans (that’s a lie every time is the time for shenanigans i’m just exhausted)

RAYNE

Bitch, sorry, ok listen like um sidebar I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CHARACTER AND YOU ALL NEED TO KNOW IT but also at this point i’m not really sure about this character, is this their name, is that even how it’s spelled, girl idfk but like whooptydooo I do what I want so cope. Right now, we are assuming that they are the new bard coven head character, and like let me tell you the way that I am fully pissing my pants atm like bestie, anyways, if spelled rayne, then it means counsel or song, and this is why, do you see why this is why we spell it like this? It’s also scandanavian which means like nothing but it’s cool. This spelling fits because like counsel, head of the bard coven, you get it it’s fine, and then song, also head of the bard coven, you know. It fits so well, especially since this is supposed to be a friend from eda’s past, and like is supposed to try and recruit eda for a rebellion against the emperor in the episode eda’s requiem, i cannot convey to you how goddamn excited I am like there are not enough words in this realm or any others to tell you how prepared i am for this character to rock my world.

GILBERT

I AM S O B B I N GGGGG apparently one of willow’s dad’s names is gilbert and that is literally so cute I cannot like actually this knowledge makes up for coronavirus anyways it means bright promise and idk what that even has to do with anything but I love it and you should to omg

Now i have to go update the other characters see you in hell <3

#the owl house #luz noceda #lilith clawthorne #eda clawthorne #gwendolyn clawthorne #amity blight #alador blight #odalia blight #blight twins #willow park #gus porter #principal bump #rayne #hooty #character names

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slutforagoodsmut · 3 years

Text

We All Get Nightmares

(Lars x OC)

The waves crashed along the sand, the moonlight glittered across the sea. For once in a long time, there was silence, There was peace. No gem saving, no gem destroying. It was a quiet, normal night; and for once in a long time, Primrose went to bed without a sore body or broken bone. Curled up in the bed layed the precious girl, her dark locks of springs for hair bunched up in a ponytail, and the one streak of light pink laying lightly against her face. Her soft warm touch, her skin glowing in the moonlight that beamed through her window. Her pencil striaght physique now starting to blossom from child to young woman, her hips starting to curve out and chest starting to broaden. And on her back, in between her shoulder blades, sat a rose quarts gem that reflected off of any twinkling light, which she kept hidden beneath her hair. Primrose Universe was indeed a beauty, just like her mother was.

There she layed all snuggled up in her plush bed on the other side of the room, a small smile graced upon her lips as she clung to the teddy bear her father gave her all those years ago. She just looked like some ordinary 14 year old girl, a girl who wanted to go far in life, go beyond the limits as any teenager would. The Primrose everyone knows, the girl everyone cherishes, was much more than a silly little teenager. She was a gaurdian, a powerful protector of the gems; keeping the bad out. The twin sister of a powerful boy and the daughter of a gem herself.

But aside all that schmazzy jazzy stuff, Prim was just your avgerage teenager. A girl who listened to her father's old music and laughed at the silly faces he made. A girl who enjoyed her friend's company and eating doughnuts. Someone who loved adventure and would sometimes get in a lil trouble along with her brother. An open minded person who accepted anyone as a friend. That is who Primrose was.

It wasn't far into the night when Prim's phone began to buzz on her nightstand. Prim, being the light sleeper she was, woke immediately, her eyes being blinded by the light the phone gave off. She groaned. "Who's calling in the middle of the night?" She fumbled for the phone and pressed the 'accept call' button, holding it lazily to her ear. "Yo," she said.

"Prim, are you awake?" A certain Lars Barriga voice came through the phone. Prim rolled her eyes and sank her head back into her pillow.

"Oh yeah sure, totally awake, like i always am..." she peered over at her clock, "...at 2:30 in the morning," she said sarcastically.

"I know it's late but I just couldn't sleep! Maybe you could come over for a bit?" Lars asked, his voiced getting a bit high. "Ya'know, help me fall asleep?"

"You've gotta be kidding me Lars," she sighed, her hand sliding down her face. "Dude, you're like almost 17 years old, can't you tuck yourself in? I mean, haven't you tried calling Sadie?" Prim yawned out as she spoke, covering her mouth.

"Yes I could tuck myself in, thank you very much!" Lars hissed. "I just...I had a bad dream and now I can't sleep," he mumbled into the phone. "P-Please?"

Primrose looked back at the clock, then sat up and looked at Steven, who was sleeping soundlessly all the way on the other side of the loft. It'd be easy getting passed her brother, but what about the gems? Nothing could get passed them, and I mean nothing. She put a hand on her head and sighed again. "Fine, I'll be there in 15 minutes."

"thanks Prim, you're the best!" Lars said into the phone.

"I know I am," she grunted as she sat up, stretching her legs and arms. "Oh and Lars?"

"Yes?"

"You owe me." Was the last thing she said to him before ending the call. She couldn't believe she was actually doing this. 'I swear to god if this is a joke...' Prim yawned again as she put her hair up in a messy bun, not bothering to do anything with it at the moment. She didn't bother changing either, and not that it was a big deal anways. Prim was wearing a pair of shorts and tank top, all she needed to do was throw on a bra and head out. Prim walked passed her brother and got her flip flops on, kissing him on the cheek before climbing down the loft. 'Was it cold out?' she wondered, before grabbing a sweatshirt just in case. Now here was the difficut part; getting passed Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. Pearl was a nutjob when it came to safety, and on the other hand Amethyst could care less, so she would be easy to get by. But then there was Garnet. Garnet was a tricky one, and probably the sneakiest and wisest off them all.

"Alright one step at a time..." Prim whispered as she tip toed silently across the floor boards. Amethyst was snoring on the couch and Pearl was curled up in a ball, but where was Garnet? They should have been in the temple, so this was going to be a little harder than usual. Prim looked around. Uh oh, this wasn't good. Garnet must be in the temple, right? No harm at all! She lightly stepped around carefully, making sure not to step on a squeaky floorboard by mistake. 'Just an hour!' Thought Prim 'and I'll be back before sun rise!'

It took a few minutes but Primrose managed to slip out of the house quickly and quietly. "Phew, that was close," Prim said feeling a bit exhausted.

"What was close?" A voice asked.

She gasped, holding her breath as she clasped a hand over her mouth tightly. "Oh Bejeebus!" Prim slowly turned around to see the giant gem standing over her with her arms crossed, no emotions expressed over her face. It wasn't that she was terrified of Garnet...well....maybe just a tad, it was the fact that Garnet was always right, and to see Garnet dissaprove her actions was one of Prim's biggest fears.

"Where must you be so late at night?" Garnet asked.

"W-Well, I--uh, ya see, something--um c-came up! Yeah that's right, something came up and...." Prim faltered, looking down. Garnet raised a brow behind her glasses, putting a hand on Prim's shoulder. She looked up at the gem and sighed, rubbing the side of her arm. "Lars called me..."

"Lars?"

"Oh! I meant Big Donut Boy!" Prim corrected herself.

"And what does "Big Donut Boy" want with you at this hour of the night?"

"Its sort of embarrassing but...he had a nightmare. And he called me cuz he couldn't go back to sleep."

"A nightmare, huh?" Garnet repeated, putting her hands on her hips. "Well, if you must. This does sound important."

"Yeah I know Garnet I shouldn't leave without--wait what?" Prim stopped herself with wide eyes, looking up at Garnet like an idiot. "Really?"

"Yes, you may go, but don't tell Pearl."

Prim blinked, raising a brow. "Are you an imposter Garnet? Shouldn't you be giving me words of wisdom or something and telling me not to go?"

Garnet cracked a small smile and ruffled Prim's bed head. "Geez Prim, you make it sound like I'm another Pearl." Prom laughed at that. "But yes, I trust you. Just be back before Pearl notices."

"You got it Garnet!" They young girl whispered and gave the gem a quick hug before running down the steps.

*10 minutes Later*

The temple was only a few blocks away from Waterman St., so a walk to Lars's house was a piece of cake for Prim. Her sweatshirt was tied around her neck to keep her shoulders warm and hands tucked in her pockets with her phone. Like she expected, it was a little chilly, but nothing Prim couldn't manage. Matter a fact she loved the chilly weather, and sadly it was something Beach City hardly ever got.

In the distance Prim could see Lars sitting on the steps of his porch, resting his head on his lap. 'Oh man, maybe this really is serious,' she thought as she got closer. He looked miserable, but what was different? He always looked miserable, especially around Prim and Steven. Yes Prim knew Steven could be a bit annoying, but so was she at times! They both had many flaws and messed up--a lot--but hey that's what twins did together! It was both of them or none at all!

"Hey," Prim said, stopping in front of the Barriga Residence.

Lars looked up and his eyes were bloodshot. He looked like he hadn't slept for days! To be honest he looked like a crack head in Prim's opinion... 'No, he would never!' An image of Lars doing crack came to mind. Prim shuddered in fear. 'He may act like Mr.Badass all the time, but he wouldn't dare to do such a thing!'

"Oh, Prim! You're here!" Lars exclaimed a little groggily, as if he were just dozing off. He wore a black Under Armour tank and a pair of grey shorts, her hair a bit of a mess btw.

"Well no shit Sherlock, of course I'm here."

"How did you get out of that wacko of a house and passed that nut job of a family?" He questioned. 'Such a bitch...' Prim thought as she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Watch it chicken legs, I still don't have a problem breaking your arm."

Lars backed off. "Alright alright."

"Well it was fairly easy to get passed my nut job of a family, besides, Garnet is covering for me."

He nodded and patted the spot next to him, indicating for Primrose to sit. Prim gladly took the seat and looked off into the distance, sitting in an awkward silence.

"Rough night?" she asked.

"Uh yeah, rough night," he said, sighing wand rubbing the back of his head. "It hasn't been good the past couple of weeks, I haven't gotten a single drop of good sleep."

"Have you gone to the doctors?"

"Phssht, the Doctors?" Lars scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Doctors are for wimps, big baby, wusses, shall I go on?"

"And the Doctors are for people who are in need of major help, for those who need a diagnosis, and for recovery," Prim corrected him, eyeing Lars up.

"Oh whatever," he groaned, putting his head in his hand. "My parents said that I should go to the Doctors but...I don't know I feel little weird about it."

"Yeah I get," Prim started, "the doctors could be a scary place, no lie, but the only thing they want to do is help you."

Lars sighed, looking down sadly. "Yeah..."

Prim put her hand on his shoulder. "Hey, why don't we go in? Sort of chilly out here don't you think?"

Lars looked at her with depressing eyes and nodded, getting up from his seat and Prim followed him in quietly. "My parents are away on a trip, won't be back till like sometime next week."

"That's pretty cool, gonna throw a few parties?" She elbowed his side and wiggled her brows. Lars shrugged and gave a very small smile.

"I suppose a party or two wouldn't be so bad," Lars thought aloud, flicking the lights on in the kitchen. There on the island sat a plate of doughnuts, soaking in all the glory. Prim licked her lips and her eyes lit up. Lars plopped down on a chair and the younger of the two sat across from him. "Want one?" Lars asked, taking a pink icing topped doughnut.

"Do I ever!" Exclaimed Prim, taking the one with white icing and rainobow sprinkles. She could never turn down the most delicious thing in the entire world. Well, right behind cookie cat. "Oh man these are bomb!"

"Big Donut never fails to impress," muffled Lars while eating his doughnut. After a few more bites of their delicious treats, Prim cleared her throat to speak.

"So how about we talk about the nightmare, hmm?"

"Oh, u-um, now that I think about it, I don't really think it's worth mentioning anymore." Lars rubbed his arm uncomfortable, fidgeting around in his seat.

"Dude I came all the way over here because you had a nightmare, I could be sleeping right now." She rolled her eyes. "So you're telling me."

"But it's stupid, really."

"Not to me it isn't."

"Well to me it is."

"C'mon Lars I didn't come here for nothin' "

"Prim just let it go."

"Nope."

"You're really starting to annoy me."

"Don't care, now spit it out already!"

"No!"

"Why not?!"

"Because it's dumb!"

"Its not dumb!"

"Yes! It! Is!"

"UGH!" Prim stood from her seat and jabbed her finger into Lars's chest. "Why must you be so freakin stubborn?!"

"Why are you always trying to get into everyone's business?!" Lars pushed Prim's arms away.

"YOU TOLD ME TO COME OVER!" Prim flailed her arms around. "God, you say you're life is so horrible, so miserable! Oh boohoo Lars!"

"Yeah! SO WHAT?!"

"Maybe if you talked about your feelings you would be a nicer person and everyone would like you!" Prim yelled at him, shoving the chair in and leaning over table to get in his face.

"Well in so sorry your majesty but I HATE talking about my feelings!"

"WHY?!"

"B-BECAUSE I'M SCARED!!!" Lars's hand went down and he hit the table with a loud bang. Silence fell between them, the only sounds filling the air at the moment was their heaving. "Are you happy?!" His voice cracked as he wiped the building tears from his eyes, sitting back down and hiding his face in his arms. Lars's shoulders shook as he cried and Prim looked down at him pitifully.

Prim sat back down and sighed, running a hand over her face. "Lars..."

"W-What?" He whimpered into his arms.

"Look at me."

Lars moved his head so that Prim could only see just his eyes; those dark eyes that were streaked with tears.

Prim put her hand on his arm and leaned in. "Tell me what happened."

Lars furrowed his brows, wiping his eyes and grabbing a tissue from the tissue box beside him. "It's just...it was all dark. No light, nothin, just pitch black. A-And I was alone! Just me, falling down an endless pit of darkness. Prim I couldn't escape! I was so scared! No mom and dad, no Sadie--no Steven...n-not even you..." he placed his hand over Prim's, looking away with tinted cheeks. "I thought it would never end. And then there was horrible voices. They said such hurtful t-things..." Lars shut his eyes tightly and his shoulders shook.

"What did these voices say Lars?" Prim asked gently.

"They....they...called me pathetic. A-A waste of s-space. They said my parents were ashamed of me. That I was a loser." He covered his eyes. "But they were true. These voices were right about everything they said."

Prim's eyes widened and it felt like her heart broke. 'Oh you poor thing...' She was his friend, this was probably the first time Lars has ever opened up to anyone, but Prim didn't know what to do.

"Why can't I just be like Steven?" Lars said. "Why can't I just be like...you?" He looked up at her. "You're kind to everyone and everything. You're smart, passionate, you help everyone who has a problem, and you make a new friend everyday--the same with Steven. Y-You're nice to me, even when I treat you badly," the teen looked away with shame.

Prim shook her head, "There's only one Steven, there's only one of me, and then there's just one of you. And to just think of two Stevens drives me nuts," she cracked a toothy smile, thinking of her brother. "The things those voices said aren't true in any way, shape, or form, I promise you that. You are who you are, and no one could change you. Sure you have your bad days, but who doesn't? And sure you have more bad days than good, but that just makes the good days seem even more special then they really are." Prim cupped Lars's cheeks, wiping the tears away with her fingers. "You're special."

"R-Really?" Sniffed Lars, swallowing hard and face becoming hotter.

"In my eyes you are. To me you always will be." The two smiled at each other, faces rather close now. "We all get nightmares. Even you Lars, even I."

"Thank you, Prim..." Lars whispered. "Ya'know, now that I look at you more and more often, I never told you this, but you really are beautiful."

"Jeez, I get you to open up once and you're already telling me I'm beautiful?" She smirked, blowing a lose strand of hair out of her face.

He rolled his eyes, moving his eyes away from hers. "W-Well, since we're in the moment n' all, I thought I should just tell you. I mean, you're gorgeous!"

Prim's face started to feel hot with embarrassment, the sweatshirt suddenly not being needed anymore. Prim pulled back and pulled the sweatshirt off, the cool breeze hitting her skin and her gem glowing with passion. It was out there, making her body feel warm with....love? 'This is an odd feeing...' she thought to herself. She only ever felt her dad's fatherly love, or Steven's brother love, even the Gem's motherly love in a way...never this kind. Maybe it wasn't even love, she didn't know, but from then on when she looked at the boy in front of her, she felt...different. Her stomach tingled, like butterflies swarmed inside. Her heart pounded in her chest, her cheeks going red as she leaned forward again.

"O-Oh w-w-well thanks," Prim laughed softly, rubbing the back of her head. "You flatter me---

A pair of lips pressed against hers, a hand on the back of her head. Prim stuttered into the kiss, her heart skipping a few beats, a feeling of warmth engulf her. Prim kissed Lars back, holding his shoulders. A few seconds later they both broke away, gasping for air, falling back in their seats. She touched her lips with her fingertips, slouching in her chair. 'Did he just...?'

Lars himself looked like he couldn't believe what he had done. He covered his mouth, his face passed the color red, looking away out of sheer humiliation. "I'm sorry Prim, I...I-I don't know what came over me--" Prim rose from her seat, looking at Lars with a smirk. "Wait, where are you going?" He asked, sounding a bit saddened and panicked.

She rolled her dark eyes at him and walked around the table and stood in front of Lars. "Where am I gonna go?" She asked, a smile on her lips.

(Ok so like I don't know if this is Would be labeled as pg 13/14 form this point on, so don't go nutso in the comments!)

Prim sat down on Lars's lap, facing him with her arms around his neck. Lars seemed to be in a dazing shock, his eyes still glittering with settling tears and face shining with streaks. She pressed against his chest, a small cheeky smile spread against her face. Lars stuttered over his words, his hands resting on her back, fingers moving over her gem. "I-I-I like you..." Lars mumbled quietly, looking her in the eyes (I know, real cheesy). "Like...really really like you..."

"Really? I haven't noticed," Prim raised her brows, "I'm just curious why me and not Sadie."

"Sadie..." he started, "I only ever seen Sadie as a friend. Nothing more, but I think she feels a bit stronger about me instead."

"You don't think she'd be really mad at us, do you?" The girl of 14 asked a bit worriedly. After all, Sadie was her friend too, and she would never want to upset her.

"I don't know, actually, we'll just have to see."

"So that means..." Prim laughed a little, shrugging her shoulders, "that we're dating? Like...a thing?"

Lars smiled widely, nodded his head, and rested his forehead against hers. Prim kissed his cheek, then his jawbone, and then laid a small kiss on his neck, and then a bigger one where his shoulder and neck met. "You won't ever abandon me, would you?" he moaned, his grip on Prim becoming stronger. "Like, leave me for someone better?"

Prim, the girl with dark, long springs for hair, chuckled softly, hugging the older boy's skinny yet strong chest to her. "Never" is what she whisper, giving him a loving kiss on the cheek.

#steven universe #lars #lars barriga #lars x reader #stuff #idfk #garnet #pearl steven universe #amethyst #Steven

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fiveisnumber1 · 3 years

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I just listened to Rob Thomas' Little Wonders again. I LOVE Meet the Robinsons so much and it suddenly gave me the following headcanons:

The H7 realize that the Hargreeves have never seen Meet the Robinsons and choose it for family movie night one night. The fact that the film is about adopted family and not knowing where you fit in and overcoming hardship just hits a nerve and by the point of the ending song each of the Hargreeves are in tears but will VEHEMENTLY deny it if asked later. ("The lights were off in the parlor so nO THERE'S NO PROOF WE CRIED.") Meanwhile the H7 share secret high fives and happy grins cuz mission accomplished!

Just the following lyrics I feel would strike a chord in them all but Five especially cuz he was alone for so long and was literally fighting time and thought everyone would die as well:

Let it go. Let it roll right off your shoulder. Don't you know, The hardest part is over. Let it in. Let your clarity define you In the end. We will only just remember how it feels. Our lives are made, In these small hours, These little wonders. These twists and turns of fate. Time falls away. But these small hours. These small hours still remain.

Time literally did fall away. It was no longer their greatest enemy and all the Hargreeves realizing that it took decades for them to find peace and clarity but now they have it and that clarity of who they choose to be defines them, not what Reginald made them out to be.

But also I have a SECOND headcanon based on Meet the Robinsons itself:

So you know how once the timeline is fixed, there's still gonna be a 13 year old Five time traveling from the past to the future, right? I just love the idea of there being a whole "Meet the Family" scene but with the H7 and 13yrold!Five cuz why are these strangers living in his house?

If we make it a stretch, maybe Five doesn't realize his older siblings are his siblings either and can "meet" them too cuz they look different (and maybe they cover their tattoos and he's already suspicious cuz of the H7) so he doesn't realize who they actually are (which is difficult I know cuz he's so smart but we can pretend to partially suspend our disbelief over Five's intellect xD)

I just love the idea of Five being genuinely freaked out by these flamboyant teenagers in his home cuz he's never been around people before let alone older kids and these wacko adults who could very well be their older siblings. He goes to find the Reader across the street but she isn't there obviously cuz she lives in the mansion too so Five's got his proof that he's in 2019 but no clue where his family are.

Meanwhile, the H7 (and the Hargreeves if they see him too) instantly recognize little Five and older!Five slowly gets paradox psychosis again and once he gets home demands to know what's going on. Younger Five gets the correct time travel equation from older Five and can go back obviously but I feel like there's a lot of humor to be had from this situation.

Maybe younger Five also only trusts only the Reader even if she's older now and nobody else. Older!Five is like... "I've had it with my younger selves disrespecting me!" cuz it would be a funny callback to the S2 fight between the two Fives except there's no way Older!Five would willingly fight the actual child version of himself even if 13yrold!Five makes it very tempting. And 13yrold!Five isn't stupid enough to fight a version of himself who both clearly looks and acts older and has more training even though he runs his mouth.

And idk if and how younger Five would find out older him and the Reader are dating but I feel that would be comedic all on its own with the Hargreeves crowing and teasing 13 year old Five for his blush thinking of his own version of Reader because dang they all missed when he used to do that and got all frustrated and its adorable seeing their tiny brother so shy at finding out he and the Reader do end up together.

Oh my god, thank you for reminding me about this movie! I love it so much, it is one of the best Disney movies and I’m going to be honest, I cry every time the movie finishes and little wonders plays. Also, I had the biggest crush on Wilbur when this movie came out. I was like a child in 2007 but apparently dark-haired screw-up with good intentions is still the type of character I have a crush on. Some things never change...but I’m getting away from the point.

I completely agree with your first idea and that the Hargreeves would all be crying at the end of the movie (as I do myself lol) but would have plausible deniability because no one could really see so.

I also think your second idea is very funny even if it does take a lot of suspended disbelief. The humor that can come from such a situation is fantastic. There are so many ideas like his adult siblings teasing 13year old!Five. Just imagine them telling Five that the reader is alive and 13yo!Five gets all flustered about her. The poor boy unable to properly express his feelings and he just starts getting absolutely roasted by a bunch of adults

Or imagine he finds the H7 first and nobody has told him what year it is. And the H7 has a somewhat similar resemblance to his siblings from the last time he saw them. Not the same but very close. And so I just imagine him being like “these seem like it could be them, it has been a while since I saw them.” and he just assumes the H7 are his siblings. And now I can’t decide if they would play along or not just to screw with 13yo!Five but it would still be funny.

Also, the idea of Five and the reader being out somewhere and Five just starts to get paradox psychosis symptoms. Like itching, and sweating, and extreme thirst and he just goes “oh no.”. And the reader is so confused because she forgot about paradox psychosis and is just worried about Five and he grabs her hand and they start running back towards the academy. And when they get there Five just kicks the door open and is like “This is not your time you little shit.”

Like you said it is a big stretch but it is funny nonetheless!

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absollnk · 4 years

Text

Absol's Journey's End progression, act 1: prehardmode

(this post contains sarcasm not marked with /s because a., I'm not targeting any real people and b., It's for emphasis. I will also be explaining things that may not need to be explained to seasoned players in order to make this a little more accessible. Tw for sparse cursing)

wow

I'd like to call myself good at Terraria. I've played across several platforms since patch 1.1 and know way too much about this spectacular sandbox's intricate details. I can blaze through most bosses effortlessly if I'm prepared. I've done playthroughs of every class in expert mode (except summoner, couldn't find a slime staff even after farming :/).

It's so strange to be bitch slapped all the way back to square one just because I've never touched a keyboard before.

I don't remember what my initial key layout was, but currently, the important ones are-

WASD for movement

C for inventory

R for mounts

F for quick heal

B for quick buff

Space for jump

LeftAlt for smart cursor toggle

M for map

Left click for action and right click for interaction, and

Mouse 3 (scroll wheel *press* for grappling hook.

You should've seen my hour-one gameplay. It was sad. I couldn't change directions while jumping. I was regretting choosing expert mode difficulty. If I wasn't using journey mode's research system as a crutch, I'd probably still be pre-skeletron. I didn't even have enough skill to use the step stool accessory, which literally just requires holding up.

But, in the long run, I got better way faster than I could've anticipated. First, however, on irl day 2, I killed the Eye of Cthulhu on my fifth try after being torn apart by its last-resort Wacko Mode 4 times. At that point I was decked out in full gold gear with the fast and piercing jester arrows, so I really felt that the keyboard was holding me back considering that I usually do the eye armorless (admittedly I only had 100 life, but I usually do that too.)

The next day, slime rained. I thought that the king would be free gear, so I warped back to the surface to bring him out. He wasn't. He spawned on top of me, dealing 50+ damage immediately, wiping out half my total HP. I instinctively tried to use the shield dash to get the hell out of there, but I hit the inside of his body, which made me bounce back, which made me get hit again, resulting in death. The fight lasted less than 10 seconds, and I could only see the fucker for two of them.

With my spicy new tendon bow from the eye, I thought in my tilted rage that it would be a good idea to go and beat up the Brain of Cthulhu. I was itching for beefier armor and it was the gateway between me and crimson/molten gear. I set up an arena above the crimson made of two long rows of platforms covered in health regen-boosting campfires. With a stack of its spawn item (thanks journey mode), I brought in the first one to size up what I was dealing with.

I died pretty well. In fact, this is where I died the best out of the whole run so far.

The first attempt went surprisingly well. My lovely and incredibly sexy jester arrows made dealing with the creeper hoardes *relatively* easy. Phase two did not apply to that. I had brought along a burning mace because it had the dual functionality of circling the player or being shot out and coming back again like a baseball on an elastic string. This would theoretically allow me to attack the brain if it was far away and defend myself if it was too close to me. I did not know that the mace had very little knockback while it was spinning. This plan did not work.

ELEVEN atempts of trial and error later, I won. By that point, the creepers alone had dropped enough materials to make the crimson armor without ever actually killing the boss, which is pathetic. But I won, and I didn't cheat. I'm still in the easy baby phase of the game. At this point I'm starting to realize why most players statistically chop down a tree and ditch the game forever.

It's irl day 3. Next up on my blood feud against the children's video game was skeletron, the next step in progression that makes the final boss of prehardmode a little bit easier and the thing preventing me from seeing my hair. I set up and even longer 3-layer arena and prepared to not have fun, as skeletron is known in my head for being a dumb bitch who cheats with fast, homing projectiles and an un-telegraphed chain attack that will instantly kill you if you can't grapple out.

He took two tries. I don't get it. I was probably getting better at the controls by then, but *that much* better? Like, the successful attempt wasn't even that close. Whatever. I was annoyed that the stupid brain gave me so much trouble, and I seemingly couldn't be happy after a boss fight even if it went well. But, since we take those, I proceeded into the dungeon to find a bunch of disposable weapons and, more importantly, the cobalt shield. I didn't have to take knockback anymore. If I rematched the king slime then he was fucking dead.

The clothier moved in and I bought the familiar wig to reveal my luscious locks.

Queen bee is next. The fights were standard, but I learned that she apparently enrages on the surface? I always fight her there, except for this time when I stayed underground for funsies. She was so much easier underground. Good to know, I guess. I could've probably done her before even the Brain.

Because I'd never been able to before and because I happened to find the tavernkeep after the bee fight, I tried out the old one's army which logically and appropriately kicked my ass. It was a reality check for sure (things were going smoothly since after the brain minus movement) but it was also a neat experience.

I mowed through the gobins, finally maxed my hp, and then it became Wall Time. My loadout was now molten armor with the Molten Fury bow and the Sunfury flail (which for some reason has like ninety base dmg??? This is a PREhardmode weapon? It has NO business doing 90+ but hey I'll take it). I was also rocking the blizzard in a balloon, band of regen, fledgeling wings, lightning boots, and shield of Cthulhu. I felt like I was finally strong enough in-game and competent enough with the controls to advance to hardmode. I was finally good enough at the video game to change directions while jumping.

I built a roughly 1,900-block long bridge in hell out of the blast-proof dungeon bricks. My plan was to run far ahead of the wall and just kill it with dynamite. I grinded for a voodoo doll and yeeted it into the lava, murdering Andrew the guide with questionable morals and bringing forth the wall of flesh. Little did absol know that they forgot to pack the main part of their plan, dynamite. I realized this, contemplated in-game self murder to end the hopeless fight early, but then I had an epiphany. What if I didn't cheese the boss and fought it legitimately?

With my epic gamer status and pride on the line and expecting nothing more than failure, I whipped out my good ole 100-gotdamn-damage Sunfury and tore through the Wall's hungry appendages.

This is all cool and good on paper. I'm doing consistent damage and I'm not dying. That's how you kill bosses. Things are going well, life is good.

I check the map and learn that I've already used up two thirds of my hellbridge and that the wall was only just below half health. Oh no. Things are actually not going well and life is bad.

I switch to the bow, hoping that the speed and accuracy result in better DPS. Better it was, and I would be all set if it weren't for the Wall's gimmick. I was indeed doing more damage, but as it loses health, it gets faster. I'm at a point where I have to be running at full speed almost constantly to stay a safe distance away. The Wall's health still isn't in the dark red zone and I'm almost out of road. I'm starting to take steady damage from the exponentially faster eye lasers and leeches. I run out of bridge and have to hop from lava lake to building to lava lake in order to not burn alive in the infernal orange juice. New areas are being revealed on the map because I'm fighting in an area I've literally not been in yet. I'm too busy focusing on not being deep-fried that my aim suffers tremendously. I fumble while switching back to the flail for quality over quantity, costing me precious seconds. The wall now moves faster than my top speed. I mis-time a jump and right before the wall disintegrates me between itself and a building, it dies.

I audibly moan in real life.

I go and check the treasure bag after a few seconds of mental recalibration. I got a laser rifle and a ranger emblem, along with the standard demon heart which I immediately wolf down to slap on the emblem. I guess I'm a ranger now.

Recap:

King Slime: still alive

Eye of Cthulhu: five attempts

Brain of Cthulhu: twelve attempts

Skeletron: two attempts

Queen Bee: two attempts

Wall of Flesh: one attempt

The spirits of light and dark have been released and my gamer status is intact. Absol's next victim-victim relationship is with the Queen Slime, but that'll have to wait until the hardmode post :)

Thank you if you've read this far!! Lemme know what you think about this kind of thing, it was fun

#.txt #Terraria #journey's end #absols write #long post #i wish I could add a cut

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 5 years

Text

Uncle Donald gave her $800 in the 1980s

She let him invest it for her up until now

And she has now $45B

I hope you enjoyed your game as there are more to come but with more people as it enters TV for free of course on Channel Fox.

As always enjoy life and what it brings with the most care you can afford.

Don't let the economy, crumble, Uncle Donald, i hit up JP for some cash since Jesse stole mine from United Business Bank located in Oregon, Washington, and New Mexico.

I own Chase, bought it with Donald and sold to the US Government for a mint. Jesse could got in on this deal but he wanted to challenge me instead.

So I asked Uncle Donald for a cash loan, how much he could afford and what was in his wallet. $4000 roughly. So we split it between his 4 kids (the 4th being me) and I gave him back $200 for the rest of the day.

And we returned to the bank and I asked him how to deposit the money into Chase Manhattan because Denise had bought me clothes but I wanted to be a fashion designer and had altered them So she threw them all away in a rage of jealousy and heat.

Of course i started to cry so we went back across the street to McDonald's and we talked. He said "i have a surprise for you, lets get to the bank"

So we walked alllllll around the building, up and down and he talked to a man and got us inside all the back rooms. He said "i wanna buy it!" And he turned to me and asked "would you like to invest your $800 into my bank as an investor?"

I said "what about my clothes! She said i had to return the money or else i get none!"

"But who did she spend the money on?"

"Me and my brothers and and her!"

"Well don't you think Its time to invest in you and your fashion?" He asked for my $800 i had to pull from 4 different pockets and my sock as he taught me to split to beat pick pocketers. And handed it all. He handed me back $200 and I handed it back then he handed me a $5 from his breast pocket and t told me to keep it.

And began to walk to the counter to buy the bank.

I chased after him and put it in his left cost pocket and told him, 'well you know you bought me lunch so you keep it"

I pulled it from his pocket to produce proof I had already given it and he couldn't give it back and then stuffed it back in deep, all the way i nearly ripped his shoulder off for which I promptly apologized, jumped on the counter and rubbed his soreness off and jumped down.

And he started to cry a little bashful at first then a full sob. And I tried to console him and Robby appeared with a trailing line of toilet paper so his silk hanky wouldn't be soiled with snot.

He thanked him and became startled and asked if he wanted in on the investment.

Robby said, "i might but i need to talk to you, I belong to this boarding school ran by this might be soon white bigger as he calls himself, inspired by her and taken completely out of context"

"Michael Jackson" interjected our new found Uncle Donald. "Come let's sit"

We moved to the side of the spacious lobby to a small table accompanied by two plus club chairs.

He and i talked about how neat it would be to have chaise chairs in Chase bank.

"Well, her mom is abusive, mostly about money so i would like to take control of her stock with her permission"

"Yes! I do! And i will wanna get married!" I jumped with my fist in the air and pushed against the chair like a standing push up and stood

....

"Her sit. First I would like to talk to you as an investor. I am run by the boarding house and they teach us things like to steal and bring back to get 'rewards' much often things less than they are worth like a stick of gum for $2 when I can get a whole pack for 20 cents. Uh oh, here he comes"

"Im about to invest into this bank with these two kids you got something you wanna say to me?" Instead of waiting for a reply, uncle Donald got up and briskly walked to the counter, asking to return to a different room, promptly and away from Mr Jackson whom was still solidly black (he doesn't have vitaligo its just bleached).

And we entered a nearly empty office and he turned fiercely, angry even, "this will be your office where you will WORK"

...

"Its okay! We are still friends!" I climbed into the chair then up onto the desk "this is where I will sit"

"Well close your legs and sit like a lady, like this hand me your foot, no don't take off your shoe"

"Well I didn't want to ruin you! Your suit is NICE!!"

And he moved my foot and crossed my ankles and patted my knee and said "or you cross at here"

I took my ankle to my knee "no not like that, that's like a man. Knee to knee"

"Oh like this?" I squeezed my knees together

Robby laughed and Uncle Donald looked flustered

"Oh i know I know cross at my knees, you need to explain better!" I patted his shoulder. In the 80s it was okay to touch, at least for a child.

"I said that first!"

"Oh! I interrupt!"

"No apologize" Robby groaned

"I apologize for interrupting"

"For?" Asked Donald "you can't tell her that Because ---"

"No he could I get misinformation that way"

"Except when I'm being scolded and she knows the truth" said Robby.

Tune in next week for another Miss Adventure of one Wild Single Mom's Childhood!

I had 48 cents. Robby had put in 2500 front Hayes then 1500 each from Mark and Mike Andrews which he had not signed and they got rejected. Yet Jesse notified me of this, restricted my remote deposit privileges and now i am to notify the Sheriff of Hays County, Austin, Texas that the money is kept hidden in the tax and revenue accounts of his great county. And to open an investigation which he will pretend he did and then not. So i get his hush money as well as the other two and the $15B JP Dejoria stupidly just paid me because i Told Jesse to tell his father in law that Jesse is a stupid piece of shit which he didn't.

And of course I will invest in schools across the nation, installing playgrounds at any schools that do not have them, including intermediate, Jr high, middle, High and etc.. And may be finally lockers at least were I'm centrally located and/or where i want to be, namely at high schools at least.

Because that is what I want to do. Make people happy in the funniest ways possible.

And if there is any left I want to reinvest at the parks i originally invested in, initially, to make them better snd brighter, starting at the older to the newer.

I want the world to seem happier and brighter and in the case of schools at least around here once they hit 7th grade (middle school) they change schools to those that no longer have lockers or desks to put things in, 7 or more teachers to please instead of one or two they spend all day with, like a parent who gives love and kindness and retribution, they go through puberty which in itself is a chore. Then the kids riot. I've seen it in small schools and i know it happens in big ones. 20 in one week at the beginning of school less than a mile from my house where i can hear the school bell.

And so they need a place to sleep their weary heads like the shoulder of an old friend instead of weeping a soul they can no longer call their own.

The secrets i have included here broke my heart to where it actually stopped over and over.

Instead of asking what was wrong, Mr Moneybags Jesse sent me to the doctor alone. -.-

He could have provided me with what i needed like I provided and protected him from Ms Dejoria and Mark Hindberg, Afghanistan and Iraq, which I will no longer do.

He is the one that encouraged Michael Jackson to pickpocket the slaves he had created.

Yes Michael Jackson is Wacko, is Him and is burning in Hell because I killed him with my own pistol Jesse had stolen from a cop, altered and resold to himself at a cheaper price than the way over inflated price he created to create a deficit in his company to receive a refund from the US government's IRS Department in the amount of $8,000 instead of paying the $1M he owed.

I plead guilty before a judge and Uncle Donald, Mrs Katherine Jackson, the Anne my 4 year old daughter that Michael Jackson attempted to rape in front of me, as well as Robby, my true love and of course Sunny and Jesse James himself whom gave me the gun.

Then, before then President Barack Obama, i was exonerated and pardoned completely without the possibility of parole or any other misconceptions that would be included with self defense manslaughter.

This week total I have arrested a total of 19 men and women thanks to the CIA as an unpaid civilian.

That would guarantee me Presidentship of one really great country, now, wouldn't it?

Thanks. And not to be repeated: No more games. Only truth.

Until next time my fair weather friends!

Now! Let's grab the bookie!!! Snag! You're in jail. What did ya know, Mike Andrews, I knew all along that Mark Hindberg was FBI. Why didn't you think that?

Moving along, hi JP. How are you? No one cares. Good thing you trusted into your rapist daughter who was married to a true hero whom puts up with my shit even after we name him Mr Vomit cause I make him so scared he actually vomits like I did tonight (that's included. No more scare, only truth)

Oh yes, JP, you have already been arrested and so you know -- you have no guns with you, right? Alexis Dejoria is no rapist, she's actually an excellent FBI agent whom hates her dad and is included in any exonerations I may have to hand out butbat my leisurely pace, because she actually didn't rape anybody!

Also the US government will pay your wages as you did file a lawsuit this very week by signing up with Namus.gov like we all did.

She like me, was an unpaid civilian whom ran into luck. While she's smart, she's not smart like me. Thus she's the FBI vs me who is CIA and can work against the world in a millisecond as i usually do and have in Afghanistan and Iraq where i protected many NHRA members during their tours in the US Military while they served with Jesse James and my little brother and were even kidnapped thanks to Matt Hagan's temper tantrum and Jesse James refusal to listen to command. Eventually I saved them from that too in a day and 6 hours after leaving base. They were involuntary bound and gagged and beaten within 20 minutes of their capture. Within the next 20 when I was finally told of their status they were rescued by Tony Schumacher and his team.

And now i have saved the NHRA from being beaten and raped and tortured. My time to continue here at home is not wasted,

I love you all and thank you very much for listening...

And now i have something to say about Jesse since i made him puke from a lie via email Because he made me mad for being a Dick douchebag and not caring enough about me, not wrecking his motorcycle and then lying to make me feel bad and stupider than ever although I saw the wreck and my being a girl, up and President running, couldn't stop to rescue or assist a man on his feet whom had already picked up his bike after a wipe out and the trailer passed me up to show me he would assist because forgive those trespassers as we trespass ourselves and i care that he could really been hurt. That may be a fault of mine but it is called Grace and not salvation which is being my daughter reincarnated into a goat in Iraq to keep everyone safe because Jesse is a dumb dumb sometimes and Matt Hagan prefers truth over himself, sometimes. Like being in love with a goat of my daughter's soul, in Iraq. (I bet he fucked her, too. Bestiality freak. Not my business tho, nor yours. But still, let's laugh instead of poking fun at his misadventures. It is funny, yo!)

Jesse cared about the goat so much he listened to her over every one, even me. Because he believed she was closer to God where he needed to be..

I changed his life once in Alabama and several times then, over and over, any time that need be.

But finally for this one time he trusted somebody else and learned to love as much as he could, the soul inside of him.

So God bless to all of the two headed creatures we will see wandering around the backs of people at the NHRA in the future to come. Including even on me.

I'm Mrs Cougar cause of my fingernails and my desire to be with someone young to keep me fresh and Alive -- not by his blood byt by the life he gives me. And he will be Mr Snake the one who slithers up beside me only for love while I labor in the grass kicking myself for what i might have done but not for what i might have missed out on because I was there the whole time thinking and feeling and frolicking through the grass, same as me.

And of course my tattoo will be scary cause the world as I know it, very much can be.

And you can thank me for the past or you can think about the future and beyond!!!

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ronniehas-nomuffins · 5 years

Note

All of the above? 🌟

ohhh my god alpha fuihfisdhfsd

📸answers under the cut📸

1. What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?pansexual!! pronouns are whatever you feel like, im still figuring that out i guess

2. How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?i dont really know!! im actually pretty sure i always knew i was into guys, gals, and everything in between ever since i was really little, despite not being educated on it like. at all lmao. i was a wacko curious little child

3.Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?im not trans, so im not sure if this question applies to me! just to be safe, i wont answer it

4. Who was the first person you told, how did they react?i… actually dont remember the first person i told??? i think i just realized i was Not StraightTM and then told lots of people at the same time lmao

5. Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?coming out to my family?? i wasnt as stressed about it, but i was still a tiiiiny bit nervous. theyre really accepting when it comes to lgbtq though! so its all good

6 has already been answered!

7. What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?“im pansexual!”“whats that? is it like *insert joke about frying pans*”

8. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.its either a sweater + overalls or a tshirt with some pants (also this is a boots/converse household only people)

9. Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?all of the oc’s i ship together

10. What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?makeup doesnt really mean anything to me!! i dont wear it and idk how to lmao. other people look pretty in it tho

11. Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?i do not experience dysphoria!

12. What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?any comment that goes along the lines of “*insert certain sexuality/gender* isnt real, you guys just want attention 😤😤😤”

13. What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?theres other people!!!! who are just like me!!!!

14. What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?the fact that theres still discrimination!! WITHIN the lgbtq community!!! like queer transphobes, aphobes, and gatekeepers, etc… we’re supposed to be united people cmon now

15 and 16 have already been answered!

17. Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?ive been in a few, met most of em through school and one on a server (just a warning, dont enter a relationship with me because i still need to figure myself out a bit lmaooo)

18. What is your favourite lgbt+ book?havent read any!

19. Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?i dont remember anything like that happening to me!!

20. Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?so far ive only seen love simon so… love simon!!!

21. Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?thomas sanders (again lmao),, macdoesit,,,, uhhh and thats all i can think of rn

22. Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?does queer still cant?? if not then we need to reclaim fag/got yall

23. Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?i have gone to none of the above unfortunately!

24. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?my gender is whatever is easy for anyone else!! im still figuring it out and its one of the least important things on my mind lmao

25. Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?i actually kinda am!! i wanna be the parent my parents WISH they were

26. What identity advice would you give your younger self?dont worry so much on love and who you think you love and focus on being a kiddo!

27. What do you think of gender roles in relationships?booooooooooooo gender roles???? more like gender NO’S

28. Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?gender is whatever the fuck you want it to be. thank u

29. What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?its… hard yall. we’re not “shoving it in your face” and we’re not “cringey xddd” okay?? we’re people who arent like you and thats okay

30. Why are you proud to be lgbt+?if im not proud of who i am, then who will be?

#muffin full of wisdom #muffins does a talk #ask meme #🌟 anon (alpha)

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dallasareaopinion · 4 years

Text

Exactly what,,, and some advice for both candidates

I figured out the problem with the world, too many people in the United States have no taste buds.

Now I am throwing stones from a glass house because I know better and still do not treat myself to eating well. I mean this though, the love of good food is a great way to bring people to together. Yet, when people gorge themselves without savoring etc then what have they obtained. Not even real sustenance which isn’t good, and it doesn’t move us forward as a society or culture.

Good food is probably the one excess that all mankind should have available to them regularly. Yes, even the poor deserve to enjoy the fruits of what this planet has to offer along with the talents of men and women who can take it to the next level.

Yet someone like Trump is President, shows how far the cultural ladder the United States lands. Have you heard what he likes?

I was in the grocery store and something caught my eye. I need to be more disciplined about cooking especially since we cannot go out to eat right now.

If I had money, I would be overweight and happy. I love the taste of good food and yet my palate is still in its infancy. I would travel to eat. Yes some fine wine too. Well prepared food by itself though is something every human should have a chance to enjoy at least irregularly. Socialism won’t put a lobster in every pot, but the human race deserves better when it comes to the power of good food.

And yes I know and I hear you, we haven’t even come close to solving world hunger, much less world sustenance. Still someone has to set a goal and the goal should be treat people well and feed them well. No, people won’t all be fat and lazy if you feed them well. The enjoyment of good food is one of the great simple joys of life. Why are we starving people? (not rhetorical and there are a hundred bad answers to that question, time we find some good ones)

Both candidates just flabbergast me. The one thing that matters going forward is how do we live starting in 2021. “What’s the plan Stan”

I have been on a CNN kick lately, kind of rare actually and Mark Meadows as Republicans usually do stuck his foot in his mouth, then Mr. Tapper, in his pretentious left self focusing on the gaffe and turning a mountain into a mountain, but neither one realized the real problem.

Both candidates have no idea what they are going to do come lets say February. Both have words, but neither are communicating a plan to the American people that the American people can actually put their finger on.

They say they have a plan, and there are some things you figure either side might do, but a real lets get down and dirty plan. Maybe

So with a week to go, how about we are going to move forward by

1) containment, Mr. Meadows is right we cannot control it, but we do have to contain it till his vaccine is ready. And honestly and both parties better start being honest, even a semi reliable vaccine is still a ways off; not just having results from tests, but having it.

2) We are going to need some serious economic development in a hurry especially since Leader Mitch is a prick and has shut down the struggling and the poor of this country something horrible. Got cake under that mask Mitch? Or have you never read history? Cause....???? you ain’t looking too smart. If the Republicans want capitalism, they better be ready November 4, not January with some plans. Personally the elitists don’t care, but I do, so I hope something is developed. (I kinda like eating well)

3) And this economic development needs to be much more than energy. So far Trump and fossil fuels and Biden and clean energy is what we hear. We need more especially heavy investment in infrastructure and heavy investment in small businesses. They both use the word infrastructure, but real solid concrete in the ground ideas???? I could add a whole host of projects to start working on yesterday, heck ten years ago.

4) I know Trump doesn’t have a healthcare plan, but what the hay, lets pretend. He better put it on the table the exact same day the Supreme Court strikes down the ACA. I wonder when his base will realize they do not have the money to go to the hospital anymore. And on a side note, lets not forget, only a very few of Trump’s base are the wackos. Many are hardworking people who have dreams, just no education. The pretentious left needs to get over themselves. Trump’s people are Americans, they believe in what they were taught and unfortunately they were not taught well. The vast majority really do not understand the world was pulled out from under them in the 90′s by FOX and the one percenters. And honestly I still need to hear much more from Biden about his plan, especially if he has to craft a new one in January, cause if Trump loses everything will be in limbo for the moment.

5) And we will need to engage each other again as human beings. Sounds simple, but this is so important. We will actually need events that the country can celebrate. Not military parades, President Trump, but true Americana, that bring people together in the streets, open up the diversity and move this country forward. We need to go back to sharing, what about a national potluck, yeah make fun, but right now we need something that redirects the divisiveness clouding our future. And if you point a finger that it is the other side, Stop!

Or basically to both candidates, we need more meat on that plate.

The first answer is jobs and food. The real answer is so much more.

And the quote is somewhat bantered around and there are two famous versions of it so here they are because the truth is the truth.

“If you vote for the lesser of two evils you are still voting for evil....You should always vote for the best candidate whether they have a chance of winning or not, and then even if the worst possible candidate wins, the Lord will bless our country more because more people were willing to stand up for what is right.” Ezra Taft Benson (maybe and maybe 1972 hmmm)

and yes I know many of you just tuned out, but

“Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil” Jerry Garcia

Now that you see polar opposites saying the exact same thing, why the heck are you still voting for Democrats and Republicans. Going back to Mr. Benson, research your other parties and write ins. There are actually a few good people running. You may not agree with everything, but there are some people it wouldn’t hurt you to research.

And there are other people with the same theme quote. Or there are other quotes similar that deal more with voting your conscience either for principle or for your own benefit. “Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost,” John Quincy Adams

And on that note, lets go back to keeping it simple.

Good values and good food should be the soul of our country.

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etraytin · 7 years

Text

Fluffy Romantic Fic for Today

It’s weird not putting “of the day” in my fic post titles, but since I finished up the August Fic-a-Day (which I still need to put on Tumblr, yikes!) and WIP week, I’m not doing anything of-the-day at the moment. Which is good because I have Responsibilities. But I did take up the Never Have I Ever challenge last week, where people could throw tropes at me and I would either point to a place where I’ve already used that trope or, failing that, write that trope. Not every prompt I got from that was actually a trope, but I got some good stuff to put on the list! And I got the trope “movie night” from @actuallylorelaigilmore, which is one I haven’t really used before.

(Continuity Note: This is a sequel to my story Timing, Degree and Conviction, but all you really need to know is that Josh became aware of his feelings for Donna before Gaza (with some help from CJ), and the two of them have actually been able to express how they feel for one another. And Colin wasn’t a thing.)

The good thing about being in a military hospital, (well, one of the good things) was that it was easy to find a secure phone line when one was needed. That ability, along with the high speed internet, was really the only way Josh had been able to parlay his helter-skelter race across the Atlantic into a sort of working vacation. Well, that and the fact he'd been able to convince Leo of his sincerity that he would resign rather than fly home before he was absolutely sure Donna was out of the woods. Josh was sure there was a painful conversation coming up when he got back to the States, but for now it had gotten him what he wanted, more time. Even if that time did entail two-hour transatlantic conference calls more often than he'd like. By the time he hung up the phone on this one, his ear felt as though it had swelled to twice its normal size, and he was desperate to get back to the sixth floor.

Donna had been moved into a different room once she'd left intensive care, similar to the first but on a corner so there were windows on two walls. Tonight she'd made it as far as the armchair set between the windows, about four feet from the bed, where she was resting with her mostly-immobile leg propped up. Her eyes were closed and she was pale and sweaty. Physical therapy, he remembered. Keeping his tone deliberately light, he poured a cup of water and took it to her. “Looks like they let you out of bed again. How far'd you get this time?”

She opened her eyes and looked at him, and he had to resist the urge to flinch or flee. Watching Donna in pain was really not something he was good at. “Not far enough,” she muttered, her voice rough. “They're trying to get me out into the hallway, but I just can't!” Her fists clenched on the chair's padded armrests. “My physical therapist is a sadist.”

“They all are, I told you that years ago,” he reminded her, dropping into the folding chair next to her seat. “But back then it was all, “just do your damn breathing exercises, Joshua, they're good for you.” He picked up her still-clenched fist, brushed a kiss over the knuckles. “Sorry I couldn't be there.”

Her hand uncurled just a little in his as she gave him a faint smile. “Probably better that you weren't,” she admitted. “You get kind of hostile.”

“What, me?” he asked, deliberately exaggerating his denial in the hopes of getting a laugh out of her. It worked, just a little. “I'm not hostile, I'm just assertive. And maybe a little bit loud sometimes. I have opinions, that doesn't make me hostile.”

“You threatened to feed that nurse her blood pressure cuff,” she reminded him with a sly little grin. “My mom almost had to take you out out of the room.”

“She had it way too tight! She was obviously some kind of wacko sneaking in dressed as a nurse to try and steal state secrets,” he maintained, still rubbing her hand lightly.

Her fingers gradually opened under his as she relaxed. “See, hostile,” she grinned. “And bewigewent.”

He smirked. “I'm glad you've joined me in my quest to never let CJ live that down.”

“It only seems fair, since you're going to hear the story about your secret plan to fight inflation at your retirement party one day.”

“And I'm sure you'll be the one telling it. Where's your mom?”

“I sent her out this time too, it was kind of a bad session.” Donna closed her eyes again, tipped her head back against the chair. “Seeing her get upset just makes me feel worse, plus she hasn't gotten more than a few hours sleep since she got here. I made her go to the hotel and told her not to come back till breakfast time.”

“At least you're not depriving her of the famous breakfast schnitzel,” Josh quipped.

“God forbid. I told her to bring me some actual food when she comes back, I actually think I might feel like eating something by then.”

“Good plan.” Josh looked at his watch. “How long are you allowed to stay in the chair this time?”

“I should probably be getting back to bed,” she admitted reluctantly. “But the bed is boring. I'm not really even tired.” She rolled her eyes at the frankly skeptical look he gave her. “My body is tired, yeah, but my brain isn't. I'm not ready to go back to sleep.”

“Yeah, it's not exactly scintillating in here-”

“There's that verbal SAT score I know and love.”

“-but I did bring something to help pass the time. Did you know these televisions have DVD players attached?”

“Really?” Donna asked, her interest piqued. “You brought a movie?”

“No, I brought a puppet theater,” he teased. “I did bring you a movie. Get into bed and I'll tell you which one.”

Getting Donna back into bed was a surprisingly difficult and lengthy process given the short distance, but Josh was starting to get the hang of it after a few days. The worst part was that her leg was still so sensitive that any jarring was painful, but the entire process was nothing but a series of jarring maneuvers. By the time she was back in bed and propped up on the series of block and wedge shaped pillows that held her lower body in position, there were small tears in the corners of her squeezed-shut eyes. “You know,” he reminded her quietly, “you could ask for more pain relief.”

Donna shook her head. “I'm okay. They're still giving me some and I don't want to get dependent.”

Josh understood that feeling well enough that he didn't argue, just passed her a tissue. After carefully wiping her eyes, Donna opened them and took a deep breath. “So, what's my movie?”

“Field of Dreams,” Josh told her cheerfully, then laughed when she groaned. “It's a great movie.”

“It's a baseball movie. About corn.” She was in full pout mode now, arms folded and lower lip sticking out.

One of these days, he promised himself, he'd nibble that pouting lip, then kiss that look right off her face. Not tonight, though. They hadn't really had much chance to talk about the change in their relationship, other than that brief reiteration of their feelings when Donna had woken from surgery. Both of them seemed to sense that it would wait for a later time when they were both stronger. Instead of words they had small touches, subtle gestures, tiny intimacies that hadn't been allowed before, no matter how much the'd been desired. It was good enough for now.

He hefted the bag he'd brought instead. “Right, I forgot Wisconsin and Iowa are mortal enemies somehow. Let's see what else I've got. Hoosiers, The Replacements, Major League, The Natural...”

“Did you just grab every sports movie you could find?” she asked, disgusted.

“Don't look at me, they really seem to like sports movies around here. The English language collection is kind of limited,” he told her. When he could no longer stand her looking disappointed, he folded and reached into the bag. “Oh, and this one,” he added, handing it over.

“A League of Their Own!” Instantly the pout was erased, and even the pain seemed to take a backseat as Donna squealed with delight. “I love this one.”

“Yeah, I know,” he he told her smugly. “But you have to promise you're not going to quote the entire movie while we watch it.” She made a sober “cross your heart” gesture. “And you should feel free to go to sleep,” he added as he took the disc from her and put it into the machine. “I can always pause it for tomorrow.”

“I'm not tired,” she insisted. Josh lowered the lights in the room anyway, then came back to sit down in his chair next to the bed. He wished he could be closer to her, but her leg was much too sensitive for him to so much as sit on the edge of the bed. This would do for now. It was even better when her hand crept out to take his, their fingers interlinking as the FBI warning began to play. As the previews played, he tried to just savor the moment with the understanding of how close it had come to not happening at all. “Josh?”

“Mm-hmm?” he asked, turning to look at her as the opening credits rolled.

Donna smiled at him. “You know I'm gonna quote the entire movie, right?”

“Yeah.” He heaved a put-upon sigh.

“Come on, there's no crying in baseball. No crying.” She chuckled, then drew his hand up to rest it against her cheek.

“One of these days I'm going to pee in your sink and call it an homage,” Josh threatened.

“Gross. Shh, it's starting.” True to her word, Donna quoted most of the movie's memorable lines for the entire thirty minutes she was able to remain awake. She also kept holding his hand, so that by the time he tugged gently away from her limp grasp, his fingers were slightly numb. He paused the movie and turned off the television, dropping the room into near-darkness. Hospital rooms were never truly dark, he remembered that much very well.

Now would probably be an ideal time for him to go back to the hotel, to the room he'd barely set foot in except to shower and change clothes, but instead Josh slumped back down into the uncomfortable chair. He figured (he hoped) that there would come a time when he could let her out of his sight and not spend every moment thinking about that first awful sight of her empty hospital room and all that blood, but it wasn't going to be just yet. Besides, the pain made her sleep restless sometimes, and he didn't want her to wake alone. His back could take a little more abuse. Sliding his hand over hers once more, he closed his eyes and counted himself to sleep by the rhythm of her breaths.

(This story is also archived at AO3 under the title What Makes it Great.)

#the west wing #west wing #fanfiction #josh x donna #actuallylorelaigilmore #of course josh likes baseball movies #timing degree and conviction

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glopratchet · 4 years

Text

labs-mirro

found human flesh in the ruins of a burnt house, added it to my diet hahahaha added a human taste to bear meat and chewy snail shells ive earned muh name too now they call me 'Sumner the cannibal' visit that forest at night without jake and crew? NOPE! but ive been avoiding those tempting near by farms and sniping any strays i see sadly its not the same sport as hunting with treachery too easy boredom has set in as ive wiped out the majority of the gators, started wiping out small villages searching for new plague bearing rats but sickened by how weak and soft this land is now, not worth conquerin or even robbin Instead ive been wasting days locked in my house trying and failing to think up "AART nostalgia tour favorites" currently locked in my "meditation room" getting invasion plans from every direction, this village is weak as anything and theres dozens of fat sheep full of bone marrow and blood me on solid ground ahead of a potential alligator attack THEY wont be expecting a thing??!' ^ good news! seems like old charlie has found his purpose again, attacking while theyre eating will obliterate half before they can even react oooooOOOOOoooooo Just jumped to close to the boy and he caught me!!!!!!! my custom ballcutter caught on his armor and now hes furiously shredding it off scraping it along my own underside as--- GAAAH! too late ive been sliced across the eyes NOW what am I gonna do --oops he just slid off trembling waiting to regenerate He was delicious but I was starving back after a regenerative meal, war's been on my mind a lot lately seems everytime mama stomps off in one of her moods now me and pops end up running raids, setting villages alight and raiding conquests for a time gotta say I love being on the attack, bringing fear to other humans never bores me and neither does killing I've certainly had my taste during this long winter guess I've been developing a taste for blood in general too humans are tasty after all no rest for the wicked Where was I? oooh yes Here I am consumed with vile bloodlust and the energy it gives but a quick jot of prose rest the mind and brring clarity Let me tell you all about my dear friend charlie, in fact he was the first one among my recent friends ive not killed or eaten The man gave himself the name "charley horse" Finally managed to settle into a good rhythm with these deranged people and I get the sneaking suspicion charley horse was involved in getting humans to raid my homeland! really rubs me the wrong way Why has he not been killed yet?? hes never done anithing right! Ahem sorry one moment regenerating like nobodies business OOoooooh that feels better!! where were we? oh yes charley horse Pretty sure he's been sabotaging my every effort to fit in with the rest of the humans, those raiders were bad enough but to think he's been actively getting them to target home makes my scales itch I assume hes been organizing these raids from the south up near new aggressor territory so thats where Ive headed Finally caught up to him, and ambushed his band of ambitious little opportunists only to watch him escape Those humans were all loaded down with fur and hide armor so Im guessing charley has been organizing things with the bears as wel guess I'll have to get rid of him This act of kindness is gonna hurt him more than a little bat to the head since Ive had enough of his traitorous actions surprise surprise the raiders are organizing up there and have been recruiting humans from all the way down south, (even near the ruins of DC) those wackos seem to pop up everywhere don't they? Oh and charley horse is organizing things with them !!!! The little turncoat definitely has to die Ive had just about enough of his act I'm gonna need to get in deep and hasta muerte* That was interesting, ive been trying to get in good with the bear brutas for weeks now and I finally managed it by getting captured by a bunch of destroyer robots and had my mind probed and my body royally mangled! I hate robots! But in the end I got accepted like I wanted :) the bear brutas are pretty good folks once you get past their gruff exterior theyre kinda just like us scaly folk even if their primarily carniverous shhh! im supposed to be hiding by pretending to be one of them :) One of the girls just came around, ooooooh shes cute!! Gotta remember to keep an eye on charley horse *Hasta muerte means "until death" in spanish Comment too long Click here to view the full text Seeing alot of robots lately, makes me miss the old world and the old ways before all this new technology showed up, I almost long for the unified church inquisitors to hammer on my door again tough not nearly as tough as the old coalition or Enclave hunts Ive actually managed to become friends with a guy named Zero and his gang of repurposed robot killclowns, funny bunch of guys that love to joke around but they mean business when it counts Done a couple of jobs with them actually, never followed carly's rule of just sticking to one weapon and ive found its been quite helpful having access to an entire armory! I think in this crazy new world theres nothing better than a huge pile of weapons to pick from Keep coming across these fur clothes wearing tribals too, they actually seem to revere charley horse as some sort of deity or greatest warrior or something Theres more to him than meets the eye, good thing ive been getting on his good side :) The wish i could find out more about him but he just vanishes for days at a time some odd instinct tells me its best not to ask questions Its funny how im not the only one keeping a watch out for him its like all of us scaly types have this mutual understanding, hes the man but none of us want him to get too big for his boots, also because we all have our own agendas and jobs to do Just like old times back in the coalition! And now ive finally made my move just like old times! I cant even believe ive pulled it off either, took a while to set up and almost got caught a couple times but it all payed off! Was actually stupidly easy if i do say so myself!

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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The Blair Witch Project to Skyman: How Director Daniel Myrick Came Full Circle With His New Sci-Fi

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“Blair Witch, which I consider incredibly fortunate to have been a part of, does come with its own set of baggage,” says Daniel Myrick, one half of the duo who made the found footage phenomenon which scared the hell out of audiences when it was released in cinemas in 1999 and went on to change the face of horror as we know it.

We’re chatting (via Zoom) in the context of Myrick’s new movie, Skyman, a documentary style sci-fi which feels like it could be real, featuring elements of found footage and starring relative unknowns Michael Selle and Nicolette Sweeney, who play Carl Merriweather and his sister Gina. Carl believes he encountered an alien when he was just 10 years old and he’s convinced the being he calls the ‘Skyman’ is going to return for him on his 40th birthday. Along with a documentary film crew, Carl, his sister, and their friend Marcus (Faleolo Alailima) venture to the tricked out shelter in the desert where the encounter took place all those decades ago.

It’s easy to see parallels between Skyman and The Blair Witch Project – both are low budget, with a small cast, shot on location and in documentary style. It was something that Myrick was very aware of when he was developing the script.

“Even though I felt intrinsically drawn to the documentary form for Skyman I was very conscious of people making direct comparisons to Blair,” he says.

“I have three versions of the script. I’ve got one that’s a straight-up scripted narrative, I’ve got another version that is a complete found footage version, where it’s just all Carl’s found footage. And then I’ve got the one I ultimately shot, which is sort of an Errol Morris-style documentary following a character, and drawing my own conclusions, both consciously and subconsciously with the way I put the film together.”

Similarities aside, Skyman is tonally very different. Though the marketing material positions this squarely as hard science fiction the end result is more like a sympathetic character study.

“I wanted to look into the life of a lot of these ‘experiencers’ and people that we would normally write off and maybe dismiss at first glance,” says Myrick. “Carl, I think, represents a subculture of experiencers that, even if you don’t believe what they say is real, they believe it, and it has a huge impact on their lives and their families’ lives. I thought it was a different take on the UFO genre and not necessarily a procedural or whether they’re real or not that we’ve seen a million times. I wanted to take more of a character approach to it.”

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Skyman is a portrait of Carl. He’s a bit of an outsider. He’s a smart guy who can fix things but he’s also a little bit odd. He sincerely believes aliens made contact when he was just a child but it’s clear Carl is haunted not just by this experience but by the passing of his and Gina’s father and the stress of trying to connect with and support their mother who is now in a care home.

Myrick knew what he was looking for – or rather what he definitely didn’t want – when he held open auditions for the role of Carl – a part which would make or break the film.

“What I wanted to avoid is the typical or stereotypical wacko that you see oftentimes portrayed as UFO experiencers,” he says. “What I thought was important is that you had to like Carl. Whether you believed in him or not, you had to like him, you had to find him somewhat endearing. He has a little bit of Asperger’s going on so I needed an actor that could play that and all his subtleties and not come off as an over-the-top Rain Man in that.”

Selle nails it, as does Sweeney as the fierce, funny, sister who teases Carl but loves him and sees him clearer than anyone. While Skyman, like Blair Witch, is a journey of three people into the unknown, rather than venturing deeper into a feral, folk horror forest until they are impossibly lost, Carl, Gina and Marcus travel to the wide open spaces of the desert, a place which is, as Myrick rather beautifully puts it, “a vast openness blanketed by stars that are so vivid, you can almost reach out and touch them.”

It’s a very spiritual place for many people, he explains. Myrick seems particularly interested in spirituality, or rather belief, whether that’s in UFOs, ghosts, religion, myth, or anything else – our need to believe there is something more than us out there.

When Myrick was a kid he had a UFO club with his friends where they would research ufology, Roswell, Area 51 and the like. It was around the time when Close Encounters of the Third Kind came out, “so it really tapped into my imagination as a kid – I wanted to ride on a spaceship!” he laughs.

“But as time moves on you start to become more realistic about whether or not there’s little green men living in your backyard,” Myrick says. He’s certainly not ruling out the possibility of intelligent life on other planets but he says what fascinates him more is why people are drawn to it.

“What is it about this subculture and the similarities between the need for explanation in ufology and the need for explanation in religion? There’s a lot of overlap there. We also have to be careful as individuals not to come in with too much preconception of someone we see. It’s easy to polarize and cast generalities on people.”

There’s no more polarizing moment in Skyman than when Carl’s journey takes him to a UFO convention, in search of the truth but also to meet like minded people. These scenes were shot at a real UFO convention and Myrick tells us that in some of these sequences it was just Selle and Myrick and the camera, really getting a sense of intimacy against the backdrop of the busy carnival-like celebrations.

“I wanted to get across that Carl isn’t the festival type of guy. He’s not there to check the parade out or enter the alien costume contest. He’s there to really seek answers,” Myrick explains. While Carl’s there he’s mockingly interviewed for a blog and declares that it’s good to know that he’s not alone, in a sequence where to the viewer he’s never looked more alone.

“Going with unknown actors and taking this approach to it, I felt made the film more intimate and more sincere,” explains Myrick, and he’s right – like with Blair Witch, the subtle and completely convincing performances are what gives the film such pathos.

When The Blair Witch Project arrived, premiering at Sundance, the marketing material tried to convince audiences that Heather, Mike, and Josh really were missing. The actors had to genuinely pretend to be dead. While Skyman definitely has a real life vibe there’s no serious pretence that it’s actually real. In fact it’s debatable whether another Blair Witch could ever really exist in this day and age.

“I mean, I never say never,” says Myrick when we pose this. “Paranormal Activity came out 10 years later and blew everybody away, which was its own phenomenon arguably.” Paranormal Activity certainly started its own found footage boom and deserves a spot in the horror pantheon but whether it’s as culturally significant as Blair Witch is another matter.

Heather Donahue has certainly talked about the down side to her sudden shot to fame at the same time as having to play dead, but for Myrick, who was making his debut with Blair, there were different consequences.

“Yeah, it was quite the whirlwind. I think Ed Sanchez, who co-directed it with me, and I were … we were ill-prepared for how big it became. I mean, if you could pick a film that was smaller by design that ended up being bigger in the consciousness of the culture, you couldn’t find anything bigger than Blair Witch,” he recalls. “I remember joking with Ed. We were in a little crappy office in Orlando, and Blair Witch was really hitting its stride at the box office. And I had the box of these 12 little videotapes that were the raw footage of the movie. I said, ‘This is what this is all about. These stupid little videotapes.’”

12 little videotapes that changed the face of horror and the careers of Myrick and Sanchez almost overnight.

“We had hoped that we would make a movie that would be a calling card project,” he says. “When we got into Sundance, we thought we hit the motherlode and maybe we could get a project or another gig out of it. Our primary concern at the time was just to get the investors’ money back and move onto the next project.”

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They ended up getting much more than that.

“Nobody anticipated how big it would become. I know at Sundance, we started getting an indication it was going to be pretty popular. The whirlwind started building there at Sundance in the industry. But it wasn’t until Cannes, I think, for me, that it became much bigger than ourselves, that suddenly it was international.”

Myrick recalls being on a panel at Cannes in the South of France, right on the beachfront, with Spike Lee and John Sayles in the same line up. “We were like, ‘What are we doing here? We have no idea,’” he laughs, saying that he and Sanchez spent a lot of time on planes for the next couple of years. They were the golden children of low budget, high impact horror, and that involved getting sent a lot of bad scripts.

“They wanted us to direct Exorcist 4, which I didn’t want to touch with a 10-foot pole,” Myrick says.

“Artisan, at the time, that bought Blair Witch, wanted us to do a sequel, and offered a lot of money for us to do it. Ed and I felt that it just was too soon, and we wanted some of the hype to die down for a couple of years and revisit some of the other ideas that we had on the Blair Witch mythology and explore some of the backstory. But Artisan had other plans.”

Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows followed just a year later in 2000 with neither Myrick or Sanchez behind the camera. It was a meta-horror in a completely different style to the original which imagined fans of The Blair Witch Project, the movie, travelling to Burkittsville to investigate the story. Director Joe Berlinger was bought in – Berlinger would later make his name as a documentarian, mostly recently making excellent series The Ted Bundy Tapes, and less successful Bundy dramatization Extremely Evil, Shockingly Wicked and Vile. Book of Shadows had a much bigger budget and in no way replicated the success of the original, either critically or in terms of box office.

“The pressure’s very high to continue the money machine for Hollywood, and they don’t really care too much about your creative whims and what’s inspiring you and what you’re passionate about,” Myrick says.

“It’s one of those things that you get pigeonholed in, and it’s hard to get out of. Especially when they’re throwing money at you and saying, ‘Do this or that.’ It’s tough to say no when you’ve been broke most of your adult life, having to make these choices.”

Instead Myrick moved to Hollywood to forge his own path. Teamed with a couple of studio producers he struck a deal with Warner Home Video where he made six features back to back – movies he describes as Twilight Zone-esque.

“On paper, it’s like a great setup, where we had six films funded, and we write the stories ourselves, but they all had to fit within this kind of marketing box, that Warner DVD wanted us to be within. Naively, I thought ‘Oh, I can make that work, and I can get my vision on the screen’ but it was a rude awakening. You realize that you don’t even get to choose your own title of the film or what the poster looks like or how it gets marketed. They were successful efforts. There’s nothing against that period of time, but I also felt it was very restricting for me. I’m just not good when I don’t have control over my own destiny.”

The Blair Witch legacy wasn’t over then, and perhaps it’s not over yet. 2016 saw the surprise announcement that a mysterious Lionsgate horror called ‘The Woods’ was actually a direct sequel to The Blair Witch Project, entitled simply Blair Witch. Myrick was involved as executive producer and says it’s his favorite interpretation so far, because it doesn’t mess with the mythology of the original. Though the movie wasn’t especially successful Myrick isn’t ruling out a wider Blair Witch expanded universe – and even one he might want to be involved in more directly.

“I would love to do a black-and-white noir Rustin Parr period piece, which I think would be super-creepy,” he says. ‘It’s a bit of a risk, right? Lionsgate, who owns the rights now, would have to go, “All right, Dan, go do your black-and-white noir.’ But it would be cool. I don’t know a Blair Witch fan that I haven’t mentioned a black-and-white Rustin Parr story to, that doesn’t go, ‘Oh, man, I’d go check that out.’”

Oh man. We would go check that out.

More than 20 years on and Myrick has of course matured as a director but there are lessons he says he has learned back from his days on Blair Witch. Namely that a film taking on a life of its own is something to be celebrated and not fought.

“That is a big thing that I learned, especially through Blair Witch, which was an experiment in its own right and tossed out a lot of the rules we were taught in film school about how to direct and how to position the camera and lighting. All that got thrown out, so it really forced you to, in a way, un-direct – to allow the process to happen and recognize when it’s going right and when it’s going wrong, but not be your own worst enemy, trying to steer it too much.”

Perhaps this is part of the key to the special ‘realness’ that comes across in both The Blair Witch Project and Skyman, as different as the two might be. Whether you see similarities in the content and style, what definitely links the two is that they are personal and they are Myrick’s own, through and through. They are passion projects, and they are what he wants to make.

“I’ve just seen too many people in Hollywood, making a ton of money, absolutely miserable making movies, and I never wanted to be that person,” he says. “I would rather live more humbly and make smaller films and have a blast doing it, like we did with Skyman. I can die a happy man if that’s all I get to do.”

The post The Blair Witch Project to Skyman: How Director Daniel Myrick Came Full Circle With His New Sci-Fi appeared first on Den of Geek.

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stupid-stew · 3 years

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My Obsession With Character Names Pays Off Right Here Right Now

I have literally never posted here but I decided that since I spent today writing about the the name of the characters in The Owl House instead of prepping for finals, someone should see it. Included are Lilith, Eda, Luz, King, Gus, Willow, Amity, Alador, Odalia, Emira, Edric, Belos, Adegast, Kikimora, last names Blight, Noceda, Clawthorne, Park, Porter, and Bump, and briefly Hooty, Owlbert, Hieronymus, and Boscha.

FIRST NAME

LILITH

And there are separate part of this that I find relevant, especially the description of the location, i’m not all that familiar with symbolism of animals in religious texts, so i’m gonna take it at face value and say that this is more or less a description that could be given to the physical owl house itself, sort of a place for people who don’t fit in, its a little messy and I guess one could say overgrown, but it’s a place for anyone, a place to rest now hopefully for Lilith away from the coven, there shall the Lilith repose. On top of that we see the “the hoot owl…” and you’re probably thinking what that so crazy wacko because like why are they referring to Lilith as the hoot owl isn't Eda the owl lady, yes she is. That’s why the actual meanings of lilith’s name that come from her mythological depiction as a demon lady are so important. We have night monster, night owl, night spectre, vampires, night hag, night creature, nightjar (which is another kind of bird), and night bird, all of these seem to fit lilith’s dark aesthetic very nicely which is very good for her, but there are two other ones, hot owl and screech owl, which draw her closer to Edaand away from the coven and her depiction in the mid-later episodes of the show as a monster for cursing eda, but also the name night monster could come into play if while sharing the curse Lilith acquired some of its traits, similar to Edaas the owl beast. Ultimately, we have this little red head girl who eventually fights back against the men who are attempting to get her to be under them, for the character that is belos, for the other Lilith that is adam, god, and his angels, and now hopefully both of them will find solace and repose among the owls in a place they never thought they’d belong. All this talk of owls and god brings us into the other clawthorne baddie:

EDA

For this I'm going to use her full name edalyn, because you know like that’s just how it be it is her name. There isn’t a wiki page for her name like there is for Lilith which makes this a little bit harder but the general consensus seems to be that it means something along the lines of “gift of god”, which I find very interesting. If you are going to name a child gift of god i’m assuming that you are referring to the child themselves, but I don’t think that really applies to eda. I’m not religious, but its my impression that someone who lies cheats pranks and steals their way to the top and isn’t exactly the most responsible witch on the isles might not be the best gift god could give. I do really love Eda though, her character flaws are still a part of her character, but I think this refers to her powers. Eda considers herself to be the boiling isles gift to magic, which I mean like, have you seen the woman. In agony of a witch we see her at what probably 30% of her power with how much the curse was already tolling on her and how much magic she was probably using to fight it off, and like goddamn. She was almost beating lilith, definitely beating the shit out of her, but she was almost defeating Lilith who was at her full power, and that is just a fraction of what she used to be able to do. Her powers were a gift of god, and I think that the loss of them will greatly affect her. She’s already admitted that she doesn’t know how to do much without her magic, and I think going straight from the second most powerful witch on this isles to having no power at all is going to be incredibly taxing on her, physically and mentally.

A random baby name site I found said that :

LUZ

KING

WILLOW

GUS

Gus, my main man, love you but for this we are gonna have to use the full on augustus sorry babes. The name augustus means majestic, or venerable, which while I must say that the illusion of kiki doing the worm was probably one of the most majestic things I have ever seen, I’m going to focus on venerable a bit more here. Venerable is a big word, it means “accorded a great deal of respect, especially because of age, wisdom, or character.”, which for gus the age part might play a smaller part here, but he is good as what he does, Luz and willow both respect him, Eda Respects him, he’s this little dude who is younger than everyone and has to rely on his ability to succeed, not inly with his power but with his personality.Gus seems to be confident in himself, communicating with everyone regardless of who they are or what power they hold, similarly to willow he was willing to do anything to help Luz , leading into the second description of venerable, “heroic in nature”. Now, you might be wondering, bestie where ever did you get that description, it totally wasn’t from a religious page okyesitwas but that's fine because being pronounced venerable guarantees a spot in heaven so get it bestie. Overall, the general meaning for augustus is that they are strong, respectable, and powerful, which takes us right into the

ASSORTED BLIGHTS

LAST NAME

BLIGHT

CLAWTHORNE

NOCEDA

PORTER

PARK

BUMP

To be honest I was not expecting bump to have a last name that meant anything but it means swift walker and I think thats funny so you have to know it now

MISCELLANEOUS

BELOS

HIERONYMUS AND BOSCHA

I am only putting this here because the fact that it’s totally a play on hieronymus bosch makes me cackle and you all have to know it thank you

ADEGAST

HOOTY

He is an owl

OWLBERT

He is also an owl

KIKIMORA

#lilith clawthorne #eda clawthorne #luz noceda #amity blight #willow park #gus porter #king of demons #blight siblings #the owl house #character names

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bondedbrotherhood-blog · 5 years

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Love me tender

Written by @TenaciousDoctor and @LordshipHalogen #Warning #SexualThemes #Mature *~*~*~*~* Lassiter: Procrastination is like masturbation. In the end you realise… you’ve just fucked yourself. Waiting until ultimately the last minute to come and do this had not been my intention, sure, but when push came to shove, actually walking my ass down to the med wing and getting strapped up to donate the silver stuff had really ‘not’ been what I wanted to do with my night. Day. Whatever. Stupid vampire schedule… There were some perks to being the last living soul (pun intended) in the place though - no one to watch me squirm. No one to force idle chit chat with. No one to ask how I was doing. Yay me. There was Jane though. And if ever there was a doctor I trusted with my personal space, it was her. Regardless of the chaos around her, or even within her, Jane always took her oath as a doc seriously, providing comfort, care and compassion to the patient first. So she didn’t bother with the ‘hi how are yas’ or the ‘is everything okays’. No. She sat down, smiled, asked for my arm, and went through the motions. Creator sent, this one. Creator sent. “Can’t believe it was actually a quiet enough night to do this,” I manage, my tone even and light. Pretending like across the hall I hadn’t sat hunched over, broken and bloodied as she’d helped reset my wings months earlier. “Bet they didn’t even find a Lesser out tonight,” I add, looking away as she waved around a needle longer than my finger. “Lash isn’t one to play his cards before his hand is due…” Jane: *The noise and rush faded and I welcomed the silence and the empty tunnels. Every last soul had left and I was alone at last. Or not… Lass was waiting in the PT suite and it didn’t surprise me. I was expecting him, but when he didn’t come down with Adrian, I figured he wasn’t ready for this. A warm smile brightened my otherwise exhausted features as I stepped into the room and went about taking out what I needed, and sitting next to Lass. My latex gloved covered hands worked a gently pace around everything I needed to do as Lass broke the silence with some nervous small talk. I nodded and smiled to keep him talking with an occasional “uhu”, until I had all the silver blood required from him. I took a disney plaster from the silver tray and had it ready to apply to the small wound. Rolling back on the small black stool, I put all the used items in the silver tray for disposal and turned back to face Lass. My voice soft and laced with concern* All done, and you didn’t even feel a thing. *My concern was for his mental health and everything he had been through the past few months. He wasn’t one to talk, and he preferred to joke about everything, and even though he was still prancing around in his wacko outfits from his Wizard of Oz wardrobe, I saw the pain reflected in those white eyes* Would you like some hot chocolate? Lassiter: I did. I totally wanted hot chocolate. I also wanted the end of this war, world peace, and Lash’s head on a spike. But I’d settle for the hot chocolate. And Jane’s company. “Sure,” I agree with a nod. “I was gonna take some time out in the sun though, while everyone else is asleep. Interested in joining me? You and Ad are like the only ones I can ask since it’s not fatal to you…” Managing a smile, I hopped off the gurney and stretched, tilting my head from side to side and offering my arm with a flourish to the good Doc. “Swing by the kitchen, grab some of the good stuff and head outside?” Fritz would undoubtedly be up. Pretty sure the guy never actually slept. Or he’d figured out how to sleep with his eyes open and the vacuum running. I’d believe it, to be honest, but here’s hoping he wasn’t gonna bust a nut about us making hot chocolate in his kitchen. Jane: *Hooking my arm into Lass’s, I smiled and nodded over at my private kitchen which was next to the medical supplies. Not many people knew about this small kitchen, but that was the idea. It was for Manny, myself and Ehlena to use. I steered Lass in the right direction as we walked down the tunnels. Winking as I stopped and opened the door* We have our own set up down here. It beats having to ask the doggen for snacks and refreshments all the time, especially since our hours don’t coincide with the rest of the household. Fritz keeps the fridge and cupboards well stocked. *Slipping my hand free from Lass’s arm, I pulled out a pot and poured some milk in to boil on the small stove, before taking out two large mugs and adding a few heaped spoons of hot cocoa* It’s been a few days since I’ve been out in the sun. Ever since Manny and I don’t talk, we don’t go for walks anymore and… *I stopped and cleared my throat to stop the rambling* Hot chocolate out by the pool deck will be heaven right now. *Once the milk started boiling, I turned the stove off and poured the hot milk into the mugs, and passed Lass’s mug to him before we made our way down the tunnels and out the garage to head to the gardens and the pool* Lassiter: I frowned but didn’t say anything when Jane mentioned Manny. The whole manse knew of the conflict between Jane, the human doc, and Murhder. Hard to miss some of it, all things considered. How Jane was handling it after the shit hit the fan though, that was something I was curious about. To go from the cool calculation of Vishous, to the steadfast Doctor, then the maelstrom of Murhder… I just couldn’t imagine it. And people thought my tastes were out there… Following Jane up and out into the world, a sigh of bliss escaped me as sunlight lit me from head to toe. For just a second I didn’t bother trying to put a dimmer switch on the internal glow, relaxing every muscle just to feel the sun completely. With my next inhale I had it back under control though, not wanting to blind the good doc and ruin our walk. “That feels better,” I admit, taking a sip of the hot chocolate and looking around at the garden. Already I could feel my body settling, the warmth and golden light recharging me like nothing else could. Not food, not sex, not TV. “You haven’t said much about Manny or Murhder,” I continue softly, looking at a bed of flowers trying to bloom despite the chill, “I don’t want to push or pry, but I was wondering…” I looked back up at the blonde, arching a brow. “Are you alright?” Jane: *This was exactly what I needed… A break from the med wing. I let out a sigh of relief the moment I felt the sun kiss my skin. A feeling of pure bliss washed over me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lassiter glowing a little brighter and then it was gone. He was enjoying this as much as I was. Living in a world with vampires had its perks and I was happy here with them, but I missed the sun. Nowadays I missed more than the sun… I missed myself. I’d lost myself along the way while trying to please everyone around me and now I found myself free, but mindful of those I’ve been hurting. Like Manny and Murh… I knew it would take some time for the dust to settle, because I kicked that shitstorm up quite high and it didn’t stop there. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and relished in the feeling of the sun on my face. Lassiter’s question didn’t surprise me, and I took a sip of my hot chocolate and stepped inside the pool area, which was very secluded for an outside pool. The tall brush and flowers around it provided a private paradise. It was perfect for those who wished to bath in the moonlight, but everyone mostly used the indoor pool. We walked over to the other side where the loungers were lined up, and I placed my cup on the small table next to my lounger before sitting down and kicking my feet up* I’m not sure how to answer that question… I’m dealing with all the emotions as best I can, and one day I’m winning and the next day something happens that kicks my feet out from under me, but I will get there. The mind is a powerful maze and my journey through it is just as powerful. Lassiter: That it was. It was the one thing you really kept when you lived as long as I did, too. The material, even the body, was insubstantial at times. But if you kept your mind, the parts of you that defined who you were, then it wasn’t at all lost. “I know what you mean. There are days where everything seems and feels impossible. But the strongest parts of you are always in the mind, because it’s the core of you. When that is broken?” I let out a bitter laugh. “Then you’re lost.” There had been times in the past however long where I’d been convinced that I’d lost everything. Lost myself, my purpose, the very essence of my being. Finding yourself again… well, that was the hardest thing anyone ever did. Settling onto one of the recliners, I kicked back and closed my eyes. “I think I’ve been lost too many times, if I’m honest.” Something I rarely liked being anymore. Jane: *I reached out and picked my cup up from the table, sipping slowly while I scanned the angel’s features. He’d been to hell and back, and that was just in the last year. I had no idea what he endured before the Brotherhood, but something told me it was more than most of us could handle. Lassiter was a beautiful male… angel, even with that Alice in Wonderland wardrobe fit he styled. His gorgeous multi colored hair framed a handsome face and his personality was as sparkly as his attitude. Very few people knew the Lass myself and Qhuinn had come to know. The angel fighting the inner demons with a hint of sass and leopard skin tights. Green eyes shifted away from the angel and settled on the clear water as I sipped away at my hot chocolate, allowing us both some quiet time to bask in the sun without commitment of conversation. Both of us lost in our own thoughts for as long as we needed. Some time later, around mid afternoon, I got up and went to sit next to Lass on his lounger* You know what we both need? A movie night, with nothing but monster movies and an over indulgence of sweets and popcorn. Lassiter: Angels didn’t necessarily ‘sleep’, but I was damn close when Jane came over to sit beside me. Stirring, trying not to start, I watched the female as she relayed her idea. There was a childish joy to her about it, a hope that it would be something relieving and renewing. I was /totally/ down for that. “That? Sounds fuckin’ magical,” I agree, smiling broadly as I sat up properly. “Bet if I let Fritz know he’ll organise continuous stream of whatever we want. OH! I’ve been craving a sundae 5ever,” I crow, leaping up from the seat and whirling to face Jane. Reaching out, I took her hand and pulled her up and to my chest. “How soon should we start?” This was why I liked Jane. Her intelligence wasn’t just literal, it was emotional as well. And while she could be as cool and sharp as her scalpels, there was a warmth and sweetness to her that was unrivalled. Add to that she was a damn fine female to look at and shiiiiiiiit. It was no wonder the males had fallen over themselves and lost their damn minds. “C’mon, I’ve got the perfect thing to wear for this too! The best pair of flannel pjamas. So comfy. Bet I could have Fritz get a pair for you too,” I grin, winking. Jane: *Smiling at Lassiter’s enthusiasm and relaxing into his warm, glowing touch, I made myself comfortable next to him. For a moment I forgot about everything and allowed myself to float. The best thing about Lassiter was that I didn't have to concentrate on staying corporeal. The Scribe had awarded me that comfort with Vishous, but since we aren't together, that gift didn’t extend to the next male in my life. Instead, I had to focus on staying solid, but with Lass, that rule doesn’t apply. It was an easy and carefree feeling I had missed , and haven’t had for way too long* I bet Frtiz will go all out for you, and the pj’s sound like a swell idea. *The past few months have been a roller coaster ride of emotions and stress, and heaven knows I needed some decent down time. And with what Lass had been through, I’d say that goes for both of us. The late afternoon sun baked down on us as I closed my eyes and rested my head on Lassiter’s shoulder* Lassiter: As the sun moved past its peak, I grinned and twisted, swinging Jane up into my arms. She was light, fitting perfectly against my chest as I carried her back toward the manse. When I breathed in her scent was there, fresh and bright and clean. I felt more relaxed than I had been in a long time. “I have a spare pair of the pj’s. Fritz is good, but I doubt he can scrounge up a set before we sit down for a movie. You can come up to my room n’ change,” I offer, arching a brow as we entered through the side door, back into the house. Reluctantly, I put the good Doc back down on her feet. “N’ ladies choice, you get to pick the first movie, okay?” Jane: *My mind shut down for the first time in a very long time as Lass lifted me into his arms with such ease, I had to look down to make sure I wasn’t imagining the movement. The gentle flow of air around us, the only confirmation that we were moving as I closed my eyes, and laid my head on Lass’s shoulder. His touch was as gentle as a light ocean breeze, and it felt good to be in his strong but oh so tender arms. My lips curled up in a smile and I welcomed the light mood and atmosphere that enveloped us. The stark contrast between light and dark was astonishing as we stepped inside the house and I instantly missed the sun as my feet touched the ground. Or maybe I missed the warmth of Lassister’s arms…* Yes, I will change in your room. I haven’t watched a movie in over a year. Let’s go with Avengers, Infinity War, if that’s something you would like to watch? *Taking a step forward, I winked over my shoulder* Race ya!! Lassiter: “Oh /hell/ yes, Avengers are da bomb. Heroes that are pretty easy on the eyes. N’ I mean, have you seen that Thor guy? Pretty sure he looks like me. I mean, it’s in the jaw n’ the eyes, but there’s something there.” I glanced down the hall then back, just as Jane yelled over her shoulders for the race and took off. “Oi!” I darted after her, managing not to take out one of the statues as we went. Even as I chased, I realised I had no desire to win. Rather, I wanted to keep that look on her face. Eyes bright, grin light, and laughing. I didn’t think I’d heard Jane laugh in so long. Too long. She hit my room first, and I groaned dramatically as I came to the door, panting a little at the sudden exertion. “Okay, fine, you win. But now I gotta wonder ‘what’ you win,” I chuckle, moving over to my closet and pushing things aside to try and find the flannel pajamas. Yeah, they were comfortable, but since angels didn’t really sleep, I didn’t really put them on that often. The moment I did bother to use the bed in this room were for idle moments I needed to think, and if there was sex to be had. It was sweet of Fritz to keep changing clean sheets. “Aha!” I grabbed them both and withdrew from the closet, tossing the pair at the bed as I glanced to Jane. My hand went for my shirt then stopped, some of the joy bleached from the moment as I realised that changing right here meant showing my scar. I could care less about the rest of me - before the scar my body was perf - but now I thought about it, changed clothes because of it. Yet Jane had seen it. Not even healed, but at its worst… Taking a deep breath in and letting it out slowly, I yanked my shirt up and over, tossing it toward the laundry basket as I walked over and picked up the flannel button up. Jane: *Grinning over at Lass as we walked into the room, knowing he let me win, but enjoying it nonetheless, purely because I felt light and happy. With everything he’d been through, there was something special about being able to share these rare moments with him. My eyes scanned around the room while Lass went over to the cupboard to pick out our evening wear. I didn’t even want to know what he would… Bugs bunny pjs landed on the bed for me… what’s up doc.. almost let out a chuckle but caught the moment of hesitation before Lass took his shirt off. My hands bundled the pjs together and I headed to the bathroom to change and wash my face, taking my time to give him some space to get settled. On returning to the room, Lass had the movie ready to play, and Fritz was at the door with our popcorn and refreshments, along with a selection of chocolates. Jackpot. This movie night with Lass was starting on a damn good note. Fritz left the trolley for us before bowing and seeing himself out. I picked up a tray and loaded it with everything my eyes thought my stomach could eat. I knew very well I wouldn’t be able to eat half of it, but it looked too good to pass up. Placing my tray on the bedside table I grabbed popcorn and got comfy on the bed, laying on my stomach with my feet up and crossed at the ankles, while Lass got his own treat on* You know, it’s been so long since I’ve watched movies, I can’t remember what Thor looks like. Tell me, how many hours a day do you spend watching TV? Lassiter: Jane was a class act. Rather than stare or make it awkward, she gathered her PJs and hit the bathroom. I dressed in no time, the softness of the flannel on my back comforting as I called Fritz and cued up the TV, ready to go. When she returned, I grinned at the tray being loaded up, waiting till she was done before moving to get my own. “Well, angels don’t really sleep, so… a metric fuckton would be an accurate measurement. I watch whatever I want until y’all wake up again to keep me company.” Which was an odd way to put it, but that was the truth. Some days I just waited for everyone to wake up again. “It’s not too bad. This time of year it’s longer nights than days, so I see everyone a lot more.” Hitting play, I settled in. My doppleganger appeared on screen and I tossed a few popcorn kernels into my mouth, chewing with a grin. “M’ totally better looking than him though… right?” Jane: *The grin on Lass’s face was almost child like, and it was easy to think he was all easy going and care free. Which he wasn’t. But only a few of us knew about the internal and external scars, and my lips were sealed on that subject. I always resisted the doctor/patient urge to ask him how he was doing, because that was not suitable in his situation. The external wounds might have left scars, but the internal wounds would take a long time to heal. My head turned from the TV screen to Lass, and back and forth a few times before I added teasingly* I don’t know… I mean, he is a god after all, and you’re just an Angel. There is a certain kind of beauty in all that power. The popcorn that came flying my way had me laughing and twisting to miss most of the kernels. My fingers fished some out of my hair and tossed it back at Lass* Okay, fine. You have much better hair, and your glow is to die for. Lassiter: I snorted. “Literally,” I replied, the irony deep in my voice. I’d died to get my glow. Dying and being made an angel hadn’t been on my afterlife plan but here I was. And some days I couldn’t remember how long ago I had died. I missed my longer hair though. Much like the Gods. Yet I still wasn’t ready to grow it back. “Gods are overrated though. And total whores. How many lovers are busy screaming ‘God’ in bed instead of their partners name? Gods get around,” I teased, setting aside the popcorn before I bothered to use it as an arsenal again. “He’s not even with Jane in this one either. She dumped his ass like radioactive waste.” Too late I realised I was probably edging the line of dangerous territory, considering my companion had just gone through her own messy break ups. I wanted to kick myself at my own stupidity. Jane: *The mood went from light and joking to thick and intent with Lass’s last words. Silence coated the air like a thick veil. The movie was even muted or maybe that was just me. My mind had suddenly locked everything out. Hell… At some point I knew I had to face the music, but it was easier to throw myself into my work and pretend nothing happened. The harsh reality though was that everyone knew what went down, and what made it worse was that I expected everything to go back to normal. It was foolish of me to expect that, but it was easier to think of it that way, than to deal with everything. At some point I would have to deal with it in a way that I’ve been avoiding. Apologies were not enough. It would take time before Manny would even consider me as a friend again and that hurt. His friendship meant too much to me to give up on it, but he was a tough nut to crack. It was time for me to stop pretending that everything was fine, and face the music. Some part of me feared that Manny would never consider me as a good friend again. Taking a deep breath I sat up and grabbed a pillow to hug as I crossed my legs. I really fucked things up and this was unfamiliar territory for me. I was the one who fixed things… fixed people… I was out of my depth here. Lassiter: Jane’s body language shifted, withdrawing into herself as I mentally took my foot outta my stupid mouth. Dropping my head and swallowing a curse, I lowered the volume a little on the movie, leaving just enough as a cover if she shot me down. “Hey. Look. I’m practically bird brained I’ve had wings for so long. M’ sorry. But hey… if you ‘do’ wanna talk about it…” I reached across the small distance to brush my hand against her knee in a comforting gesture, my gaze trying to meet hers. “...I’m here. The age thing does come with its perks. I know more than I should.” Or wanted to, really. I’d lived through more than most people would want to or even physically could. It wasn’t even something I was proud of; after a while, endurance was just endurance, and everything left its mark. Once you became an angel, so few of the scars could be seen. Unless you dealt with a demon spawned vampire asshole. Jane: *Lass’s words gave me a sense of comfort I hadn’t felt for a long time. The type of comfort I needed right now. The non judgemental kind that assured me with unspoken words, and as his hand brushed over my knee, I found myself leaning towards the handsome angel with no shame and no remorse. My voice soft but steady* Honestly, I have to face my demons instead of trying to avoid it. I got myself into this mess and I’ve been avoiding cleaning it up. Drowning myself in work and pretending everything is fine isn’t fixing anything. I have to accept the consequences of my actions and talk to Manny again. This time without expecting him to forgive me or to understand why I did what I did. *As I said the last words it felt so real. The possibility that Manny might walk out of my life and never return was too real to deal with and I didn’t want to talk about it now. No, this night was to be enjoyed and take my mind off the catastrophe waiting for me* I’d rather not talk about it for now. I’m enjoying our pleasant, drama free movie night. I just need a second to recollect myself. *I realized I was still leaning into Lass, but the comfort his presence gave me was almost addictive* Lassiter: Honestly, Jane gave me more than I thought that stoic, self contained woman would. Sometimes I had to remind myself she was almost as bad as the Brothers themselves; granite walls to hide the fact that inside, they were screaming. They were just too damned determined to let anyone hear it. As she shifted closer, leaning into me, my body reacted on instinct. Lowering the weight of my arm around her shoulders in a half hug, I stared down at her as she spoke, letting her purge the feelings she could, while she could. It wasn’t a wonder that more than one male had thrown their hat in the ring where Jane was concerned. Strong and fierce, compassionate yet ruthless. And as beautiful a female as I’d ever seen. The weight of her against my chest, the faint warmth of her in her corporeal form, felt surprisingly good. I didn’t want to recoil. I didn’t want to push her away. Honestly… I wanted more. “Take as many seconds as you need.” My voice came out a murmur as I looked down at her, breathed in the scent of her and savored this feeling of peace for the brief moment it was afforded to me. Letting out a gentle sigh, I dipped my head just enough, until it rested against hers. Jane: *A blanket of warmth enveloped my body and mind and with that I felt myself letting go of the stress that plagued my mind. My body relaxed against Lass as our foreheads touched and for a brief moment I questioned whether this was real or if I had fallen asleep without realizing it. The peace I felt was unbelievable. My body curved around his like a perfect sculpture of desire and passion blended with pure bliss. My mind was standing on the edge of questioning what was going on, but being in Lass’s arms felt too good to allow any logical interference. I’m single. He is single. And this felt right. My body put my mind on standby mode and took complete control. My hand sliding up the angel’s neck and into his long, thick hair to tangle and tug at my pleasure, while my legs rubbed against his and my body started a soft grinding motion accompanied by the faintest of moans* I don’t need seconds… I need you… Lassiter: Every part of my body reacted. The sweet sting of her hand in my hair, the delicious friction of her legs twined with mine, her body pressed against me; they sent a warm rush from head to toe. Without thinking I lifted one hand to cradle her cheek, dipping my head to claim her lips in a soft kiss. Sliding my other hand around her waist I shifted, drawing the weight of her onto my chest as I lay back. Her lips were softer than the pillows we lay on, and I took my time tasting them, one kiss after another. It was tender, gentle, and fuck, I loved it. I needed it. There was no aggression, no savagery or snarling… just peace. Comfort. Sliding both hands down her sides, I reached the perfect curve of her rear and squeezed lightly, lifting my hips against hers as my cock hardened between us. She was so slight a weight on my chest, my arms half around her and holding her safe. With the curtain of her hair falling forward to tickle my cheeks I broke the kiss to chuckle softly, brushing my nose to hers. “I need you too, Doc,” I murmured, looking up into her eyes. Letting go of that perfect ass, and trust me, that was hard, I slid my hands slowly up her back, under her shirt. I didn’t go further; didn’t lift the material off. I wasn’t going to lead - Jane deserved the power, the control. If she wanted to say no, if she wanted to back out and watch Avengers till we died, I’d do it. Jane: *His lips were soft and gentle on mine, leaving me gasping softly with delight and surprise. The slow and careful movement to settle us in a comfortable position with me on top brought a smile to my lip. His confirmation of his equal desire spoke volumes without the words being uttered. We both needed this. We both wanted something different to take our minds off the hell that we’ve been through, although my wreck couldn’t come close to what Lass had been through. The world around us fell into step as if summoned by the gods themselves. The lights dimmed, leaving only the candles to flicker as the TV turned off by itself. I didn't give it a second thought. Angel powers and all that. My hand moved from his thick long hair down to his face, tracing an invisible line down the side and down his neck, chest and under his shirt to trace over his abs. Wow, his abs were really fine. I continued to trace circles with my fingers as if I needed to get him familiar with my touch. Some part of me didn’t want him to think for even a second that he was being touched by evil, which had me lingering with the touching while my lips only left his for short breaths between gentle kisses. My other arm was snuggled in halfway under his shoulder, fingers curling around hard muscle with a tender touch. My feet did a little dance and tease of their own up and down his legs and the tango continued until I was sure he was completely relaxed under my touch. My lips left his warm, soft lips and it brought a groan of protest to my throat, but I wanted to taste the rest of him and I wanted to take this exquisitely slow. My eyes caught sight of the bulge in his pants and I had to swallow a few times and remind myself that slow was good with Lass and where his mind had been. I took my time kissing, licking and blowing hot air up and down his skin, getting rid of his shirt and mine as I went. Lassiter: The clothes came off slowly, and it was nice to think we had all the time in the world to indulge in this moment of peace. As Jane stroked over every inch of skin, removing her clothes and mine, I lost myself to the sensation. It was tender and teasing, careful but full of promise. Her fingers brushed near my scar but I didn’t flinch, didn’t stop for a second to wonder at her seeing it, judging me for it. Pitying me for it. She’d already seen it. And it never mattered to her. As her lips ghosted over my chest, the wet caress of her tongue over both nipples, followed by that teasing breath, had my own hitching. As one hand stroked down her naked side the other dropped to tangle in the bedding, sparks of pleasure lighting up my skin as I moaned softly. My lips lifted against hers, rolling in a slow, sensual grind as she continued to explore. Reaching the waistband of my super comfy PJs, I didn’t hesitate in lifting my hips, the fabric sliding away to leave me bare and very /obviously/ ready for more. Like, a lot more. Not one to hog all the attention, I sat up and rolled us again. It was my turn to return the favor, taking one brief second to nudge the hardness of my cock against the core of her, like a promise of what was to come, before I lowered my head and kissed at her neck. My lips made their own trail down, taking time and care with each nipple until they were hard peaks, the swell of her breasts covered in light goose pimples as I licked and blew on the sensitive flesh. As my fingers hooked into the hem of her pants to draw them down, I didn’t think about anything else. Not tomorrow. Not the past. Not the pain or the fear or anything else that had dogged my steps for so long. I thought about /her/, I thought about this moment. I thought about wanting to indulge in every second of it until we were both happy and spent and at peace. So I did. #LoveMeTender #BondedBrothers

#Lassiter #Jane #Bonded Brothers

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heliosfinance · 7 years

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Financial Confessional: I Used to *Hire* Escorts

[So here’s a surprise! Two posts on escorts within a month of each other, haha… Had a reader reach out though wanting to share *the other side* of the business (i.e. paying for escorts vs hustling as an escort), and I just couldn’t pass it up… So just like last time, if this stuff offends you go ahead and avert your eyes now! We’ve got tons of other juicy confessionals you can check out instead. Take it away, Mr. Anonymous Man!]

*******

After reading the post by Lance, “Financial Confessional: I Used to Be An Escort,” I felt compelled to share my point of view as a former client.

It was many years ago when I was in my thirties and unhappy in my marriage. I offer this only as background, and not as an excuse. I take full responsibility for my actions. While I believe men and women should have the freedom to do as they please with their bodies, my sin was lying about what I was doing. If you’re unhappy in your marriage, fix it or leave.

I came across an article by Marc Perkel that was the most influential piece for me. It gave many of the pros and cons for hiring an escort as well as practical advice on how to go about it (link very NSFW). Given the legality of such activities, I can’t share specific details of my hiring, but I can tell you about my personal experiences.

The Escort Industry is Huge

Like anything that’s in demand, someone, somewhere will supply it. Sex is no exception. There’s a reason this is called the oldest profession in the world. For as long as there have been people, there have been those willing to trade resources for sex.

In America, it is currently illegal and generally frowned upon, which only means it is going on behind the scenes. This also means a number of cottage industries have popped up to facilitate the transaction.

Nickie, mentioned in the previous post, chose to post via Backpage. You could find people there, but it was very dangerous and unpredictable. There are better sites where you have to be a member, where they will do a simple background check on you so that women will know if you are who you say you are. They also check that the women are who they say they are, and that their pictures and ads are accurate. The ladies will include pictures, measurements, physical descriptions and a menu of what they are willing to do.

There are review sites that allow men to give whatever details they feel are necessary. As you would expect, many are explicit and some can be a bit rude, but by-in-large, they keep it clean and respectful. If you want to be a part of the community, you have to play by the rules.

The Escort Community is Also Huge

Once you get in, you’ll start to see many of the same players. All have a chosen online name and can be found discussing “the hobby” on message boards. There’s advice for newbies, discussions of who is good to see, what areas have been targeted by law enforcement, which guys have become real d*ck heads and need to be excluded, etc. Like other activities it has its own special terms, so many of the discussions were about definitions. There are even in-person socials if you get in deep enough!

A number of clients and providers meet up at prearranged venues to buy drinks and meet providers face to face. It’s a lot like a sales convention with vendors putting out their best items looking for buyers. There are rules of course like no real names, be respectful, etc.

How Much Have I Spent on Escorts?

Most review and ad sites let you know up front around how much you’ll spend. Many times, the girls will run specials trying to build up clientele. I learned early on as a novice, do NOT haggle. For most, this is their profession and they know their worth.

During my time, I never paid more than $200 for an hour. I made appointments about every three months, and this went on for about four years. All totaled I probably spent about $3,200.

I kept this quiet by having a separate bank account where part of my check was direct deposited and I could get to the cash. Appointments were usually in the middle of the day as part of a long lunch. I did have my one and only threesome with a regular and a girl she invited. It was $400 total for the time.

At one of the socials, I met a guy who had over 500 “OKs” from girls. Which meant he had been with at least that many, but probably more. This is over several years, but doing the math, he spent over $100,000 on this “hobby”! I have to assume the guy was single since I find it hard to imagine hiding that amount of money.

Why Did I Do It?

Chances are, you know someone who has paid for sex. I’m a pretty unassuming person. Typical day job as an accountant. If you saw me, you wouldn’t think I had hired someone to have sex. When I was dating, I didn’t have any trouble getting dates or relationships.

But as I mentioned, I was not happy in my marriage. I was deeply depressed, but was raised to believe you stayed married no matter what. This was a way for me to get the intimacy I desired without having to give up the marriage. You’re just exchanging resources. You need human touch, she needs some money. I was able to meet some amazing women that provided a service that came with none of the drawbacks like emotional entanglements. No crazy calls in the middle of the night or showing up at your job. They are professionals and act that way.

It’s an important distinction that you are not actually paying for sex since that’s illegal; you’re paying for her time. She can, at her discretion, decide nothing is going to happen.

My experience was a little different than what Nickie described. I mostly did in-calls (her place), and would make the appointments online and get a general area to meet at. Once there, I had to make a call to get the actual location. When I got inside, I was usually greeted warmly with a hug or light kiss. I was allowed to peak around a bit, just to make me feel safe that we were, in fact, alone.

Money wasn’t ever discussed, and I never actually put it in her hand. If, like Nickie, she brought it up, I would have turned and walked out the door. I was also never “upsold” and was never offered drugs. I brought my own water and I left my valuables in the car. It’s by far more dangerous for them, even with all the precautions, but as a client you still need to be alert.

I was very selective in who I met with, which is the whole point of an escort. My guess is Nickie’s loss of clientele may have been not from competition, but her lack of professionalism.

Independent Business People

Human trafficking is very real and prostitution is an obvious avenue for exploiting people. The fact that giving a person money for sex is illegal is a large part of that. If the industry was legal and somewhat regulated, I feel like women would generally be safer since it is difficult to go to the cops if you are assaulted doing something “illegal”.

All the women I knew were doing it as a choice, and from what I could tell, mostly enjoyed it. They set their own schedules, used services to screen out most of the wackos, had a separate location for business, and were usually prompt and courteous. Some are busy enough to even hire personal assistants to help with screening and making appointments. They had families and lives outside of their work that they kept separate. Her time working was just another day at the office.

They always had back-up too. Any smart girl makes sure she has a partner that knows she’s meeting with someone and has signals for when things go sideways. Given the intimacy of the transaction, it’s easy to see why some would get emotional. If she’s good, you’ll forget this is just a transaction. Some guys do and will mistakenly cross the line.

I admit I got close to a couple of regulars myself. I even exchanged real names with them and had long conversations about my wife. They made me feel exceptional, but of course that was their job. We were not in love. We were not even friends. We were close business associates. I even considered offering my services as an accountant to help them out. Being in a cash based, less than legal profession, many just don’t know what to do. They collect the cash, pay their expenses and spend the rest.

It’s important to note that the IRS mostly does not care where your money comes from.

The thing is, this is not very different than a cam girl, selling her time over the internet. You have something the other person is willing to pay for. Audits are fairly rare for the typical taxpayer since they don’t have the personnel to pursue small money. They’ll spend their time with people who deposit hundreds of thousands of dollars. They didn’t get Al Capone on any criminal charges, they got him on tax evasion. It is easier than ever to keep your cash safe in an online bank. The rules are the same for all entrepreneurs: collect your money, maintain good records of your expenses, and get a good CPA.

If for some reason you’d like a deeper discussion about the mechanics of running an independent sex worker business, I found the following article that spells it out along with links to even more detailed information: You’re A Sex Worker — How Do You Pay Your Taxes?

Final thoughts

I stopped using escort services years ago. I dated and eventually remarried. I get all I need out of my relationship now, but there are times I miss the thrill of meeting a new girl.

The pros of using escorts is that you could reasonably expect to be having sex that day, and you generally knew who you were meeting. You’re both at your very best, most polished, self, and you don’t have to worry about any emotional entanglements. The cons were the need to sneak around, the financial and emotional costs, and of course it’s a poor substitute for meaningful relationships.

All things considered, I think prostitution should be legal and can be fun if done properly.

– Anonymous

**********

Missed the original article? Check it out here: Financial Confessional: I Used To Be An Escort

Here’s a list of previous confessionals we’ve done as well, if you’re all escorted out by now ;)

“We Used to Blow Our Money on Motorcycles & Airplanes”

“I Turned My Back on My Wealthy Parents to Live a Life of My Own.”

“I’ve Spent over $40,000 on Amazon”

“I Bought a Used Honda for $45,000”

“I Became So Obsessed With Being Rich That I’m Now Sitting in Prison”

Financial Confessional: I Used to *Hire* Escorts published first on http://ift.tt/2ljLF4B

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fesahaawit · 7 years

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Financial Confessional: I Used to *Hire* Escorts

*******

After reading the post by Lance, “Financial Confessional: I Used to Be An Escort,” I felt compelled to share my point of view as a former client.

The Escort Industry is Huge

The Escort Community is Also Huge

How Much Have I Spent on Escorts?

During my time, I never paid more than $200 for an hour. I made appointments about every three months, and this went on for about four years. All totaled I probably spent about $3,200.

Why Did I Do It?

It’s an important distinction that you are not actually paying for sex since that’s illegal; you’re paying for her time. She can, at her discretion, decide nothing is going to happen.

I was very selective in who I met with, which is the whole point of an escort. My guess is Nickie’s loss of clientele may have been not from competition, but her lack of professionalism.

Independent Business People

It’s important to note that the IRS mostly does not care where your money comes from.

Final thoughts

I stopped using escort services years ago. I dated and eventually remarried. I get all I need out of my relationship now, but there are times I miss the thrill of meeting a new girl.

All things considered, I think prostitution should be legal and can be fun if done properly.

– Anonymous

**********

Missed the original article? Check it out here: Financial Confessional: I Used To Be An Escort

Here’s a list of previous confessionals we’ve done as well, if you’re all escorted out by now ;)

“We Used to Blow Our Money on Motorcycles & Airplanes”

“I Turned My Back on My Wealthy Parents to Live a Life of My Own.”

“I’ve Spent over $40,000 on Amazon”

“I Bought a Used Honda for $45,000”

“I Became So Obsessed With Being Rich That I’m Now Sitting in Prison”

Financial Confessional: I Used to *Hire* Escorts posted first on http://ift.tt/2lnwIdQ

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oldguardaudio · 7 years

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Sifting Through the Fake News on President Trump’s Calls with Mexico and Australia – How about the AP report that Trump threatened the president of Mexico?

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RUSH: Let’s start here with the fake news, because there’s a lot of it out there today. I had a story, I was talking to the vice president yesterday on the program, and I told him that I had a list of stories, 30 fake news stories, 30 out-and-out lies in just the last five days, and that was yesterday. And, of course, we add more to them today. And it’s always a bit of a fun challenge to determine where to start with the fake news on each and every day.

How about the AP report that Trump threatened the president of Mexico? The AP reported that Trump called the president of Mexico and said, “Look, if you don’t take care of those bad hombres down there that you’ve got, we’re gonna send in the American military to do it.” The AP claimed that Trump told the Mexican president Enrique Pena Nieto that if he didn’t take care of the bad hombres down there that we would send in the US military. The Washington Post and others in the Drive-Bys ran with the AP story.

Even the AP story, if you read deep enough down there, the article admitted that Mexico denied that version of events. It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, ’cause the president of Mexico is not a credible source. He was on the call, but his sourcing is not credible if he doesn’t go along with the primary narrative of the story. The narrative is that Trump got on the phone, bullied the president of Mexico and threatened to send troops to get rid of bad hombres. The head honcho Mexico said, “No, no, no, didn’t happen,” but they say we can’t count on this guy as a source.

Even the foremost purveyor of fake news, CNN, and they are. I don’t think there’s anybody even close to CNN in terms of fake news. Maybe BuzzFeed running a close second, but, man, they’re all tightly bunched in there. But CNN clearly leading the pack in fake news. They even called the AP out on their report. Even CNN, the primary purveyors of fake news, questioned the AP report that Trump called the president of Mexico and said we’re sending the troops in if you don’t get rid bad hombres down there.

CNN said that the readout of the call that they saw showed that Trump was offering aid, not making threats. He was offering to help the president of Mexico get rid of the bad hombres they’ve got down there. That’s a huge difference. You know how many people ran with the fake story? How many of people believe that Trump was on the phone with the president of Mexico today and threatened him, threatened to send troops? Many of you are probably going, “Right on!” and you’re disappointed it isn’t true. Right? Many of you are probably thinking, “That’s right, we need to send the military down there and clean that place out.” And now you’re finding out it isn’t true and disappointed.

And then Australia. This is a big one. The first thing you have to understand, the current prime minister of Australia is practically a carbon copy clone of the new left-wing child socialist in Canada, what’s his name, Trudeau? Justin Trudeau. Yeah, the guy in Australia is a little older than Justin Trudeau, but he’s still a wacko leftist. And the Drive-By Media are having conniptions over Trump’s phone call to the Australian prime minister. His name is Malcolm Turnbull.

Now, in this call Trump supposedly denounced as dumb the deal that Obama had struck where the United States would trade some illegal aliens from Central America for the 1,200 refugees from Iran and Iraq and Afghanistan, refugees that Australia will not let into their country. What this is really all about is that there’s central American refugees and Australia won’t let ’em in.

Australia won’t let ’em in, they send them here, and Trump said to hell with that and even addressed this at the prayer breakfast today, telling people our country is under assault. There are people taking advantage of our country, and it’s gonna stop. And he said, “I don’t want you to be nervous what you hear about these calls.” And he’s talking about these two news reports about the phone calls he had with these two leaders in Australia and Mexico. And he was calming, he was comforting.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Australia business. Australia has been under intense pressure from its citizens to not allow immigrants into their country. This is something that you’ll not know if all you’re reading today is the story about Trump’s phone call to the Australian prime minister. But the citizens of Australia don’t want any part of these worldwide refugees and illegal immigrants because they have been flooded with boat people, many of them coming from Muslim Indonesia.

“Australia’s two leading political parties, the ruling Liberal-National coalition and the Labor opposition,” both of Australia’s main parties, “both support tough asylum policies.” They have a coalition government there, and it “made Australia’s asylum policy even tougher when it took power in 2013,” 3-1/2 years ago, “introducing Operation Sovereign Borders, which put the military in control of asylum operations” in Australia. You think what’s happening here is strange? In Australia, they dead serious.

They don’t want any part of it. They don’t want any of these boat people refugees from Islamic nations and Indonesia, they don’t want Central American refugees, they don’t want illegal immigration. They’ve seen what’s happened to Europe. They see what’s happening the United States. They don’t want any part of it. As such, there’s an agreement. Obama had an agreement with Australia. “Okay, whoever you don’t want, send it to the United States.” Did you know that, folks? Obama had an agreement with Australia.

“Fine, if you don’t want the Muslims from Indonesia — if you don’t want the boat people from Central America or wherever else they’re from — then send them to the United States. We’ll take some of them.” “The government” of Australia… I’m nick of time here, but, “The government says its policies have restored the integrity of its borders…” Even if asylum seekers are found to be actual refugees, they’re not allowed to be settled in Australia. They’re sent to an offshore processing center. What Obama said is, “Go ahead and send them here!” And that’s what Trump’s objecting to. We’re not just gonna keep our borders open. I mean, the rest of the nations of the world cannot dump their problems on us.

That’s all he’s saying, exactly what he said he would do during the campaign.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Let me give a slight correction on this Australia business. I want to get this battened down exactly what happened, here. It’s very close, but it here’s what really happened. Obama was trading people from Central America for 1500 or so Muslim refugees from Iran and Iraq and Afghanistan that were languishing in Australia, essentially in New Guinea.

So Obama agreed to take the militant Islamist refugees off of Australia’s hands in exchange for trading 1500 or so (well, I don’t know what the number was, but) people from Central America. So Australia got to choose. They said, “We don’t want militant Islamists here. I mean, we’ll help you out on the refugee side, but we don’t want any militant Islamists.” Obama said, “Fine. We will take the militant Islamists.” And that’s why Trump is saying, “The rest of the world doesn’t get to decide what it wants to do and then we pick up the pieces.”

This all raises the question, why would Australia be willing to take peaceful — so-called peaceful — Central American refugees but not those from Muslim countries? I mean, who are the real Islamophobes here? It isn’t Trump! Trump is just doing what he said he was gonna do in the campaign, and that is defend and protect this country and make sure the other nations of the world do not take advantage of us. Anyway, McCain fell for the fake news side of this and called the Australian ambassador and said (impression), “It’s not a big deal. I’ll fix it. Don’t worry about it.”

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: We have Brenda here from Nashville, Tennessee. She’s Australian. It’s great to have you with us, Brenda. How are you doing?

CALLER: Hi. Thanks. Love your show. I just wanted to elaborate on the immigration situation in Australia.

RUSH: Sure.

CALLER: Australia is very multicultural. So many Asian, particularly Indian and various cultures in our nation now. Australia is accepting of immigration but the big issue dividing Australia is illegal refugee immigration.

RUSH: Mmm-hmm!

CALLER: Our borders being the ocean, Indonesia was our main problem there because it was not illegal by their country to have people trafficking. So a lot of people were making money out of boatloads of people coming over from Middle Eastern countries and whatever. Even a lot of businesspeople were tearing up their passports and coming through, you know, from very dangerous Middle Eastern countries. Some of them died at sea and the Australian Navy tried to keep some at bay. But we had a very liberal government for a while that took them in, and we also have an island near Australia — one of our neighbors — called Nauru, which is what became a settlement for the refugees, and like a motel kind of set up. But it became overpopulated and they got angry that they weren’t being processed enough to come in and get our free medical and, you know (cell breaking up).

RUSH: Right. But this guy was an ally of Obama, correct?

CALLER: Yep. The previous governments, both of them. Gillard was a good friend of Obama, seen playing ball with him at the White House, and that government — the Labor government — was very pro-Obama, very good friends with Obama, and were more leaning toward socialist in their attitude, more liberal. The new government is much more… The Liberal government — which is reversed, is our Conservative Party. And what happened is the United Nations — which see made up of a lot of little African countries anyway — decreed that we divide and send some of these people to various countries, and Obama accepted that, that they take a small percentage of these thousands. So 2,000 or whatever it was is a small amount. But the problem is, who knows who these people are? They haven’t been vetted or processed.

RUSH: Exactly.

CALLER: Of course we’re getting stricter now with new government. They’re now going over to… One particular woman said to the doctor she’s going over to Holland where they have free education for the children. She’s gonna come in as a Syrian refugee there.

RUSH: Brenda I hate… I don’t mean to be rude but I’m out of time, I have to stop you because I’m so glad you called because this is evidence. She is Australian, understands. Where this story is going is Obama had an agreement, he would take — it was about 1500 or so in one instance of the most dangerous militant Islamists in exchange for the Australians taking the Central American refugees which were harmless, which opens up a whole bunch of questions. That’s what Trump is shutting down, by the way.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Here is the truth, just a little bit of time here on the Trump call to the president of Mexico. This all ended up being largely fake news. This was historically reported by the Associated Press as Donald Trump threatening in a phone call with the Mexican president, that unless the Mexican military did more to control the bad hombres down there, that Trump was gonna send U.S. troops in there to fix the problem and to control it.

The story did not contain anything to do with Pena Nieto’s response. The report also said that Trump hung up, was supposed to go for a little bit longer than it did, Trump hung up on the guy. The Mexican government said that the AP account was not accurate, but that didn’t stop the AP from running with the story, and it didn’t stop other outlets like the Washington Post from picking it up as well.

“You have a bunch of bad hombres down there,” Trump told the chairman of Mexico. “And you aren’t doing enough to stop ’em. I think your military’s scared. Our military isn’t, so I just might send ’em down there to take care of it.” A person with access to the official transcript of the phone call provided only that portion of the conversation to the AP. The person gave it on condition of anonymity because the administration didn’t make the details of the call public.

Well, then it was leaked. If the administration didn’t make the call public, the details, how does anybody know it? Somebody had to leak it, and that’s probably somebody at the State Department. It’s just somebody else that Trump needs to clear out of there. An anonymous source provides false information, i.e., fake news, about a Trump phone call with the president of Mexico and supposedly the transcript, a transcript that CNN, the purveyors — I mean, the king of the hill of fake news, even CNN says that it isn’t true.

Mexico’s foreign relations department denied the AP account saying it’s based on absolute falsehoods, and later said that the statement also applied to the excerpt provided to the AP. The assertions that you make about said conversation do not correspond to the reality of it, the statement said. Anyway, it’s more fake news. And it’s designed to make Trump look like a fool or like a bully, or he’s just unequipped, you know, just ill-equipped for the job. The guy doesn’t understand how to speak diplomatically, bull in a china shop, this guy’s gonna get us in real trouble. And of course these fake stories then result in people taking action, like McCain.

After the misreported thing about Australia, McCain gets hold of the Australian ambassador to the United States and essentially — he doesn’t go so far as to apologize, but it’s kind of like when Ted Kennedy would call whoever was running the Soviet Union during the eighties and ask ’em to be patient, Reagan was kind of a novice, admittedly dangerous, didn’t know what he was doing, but Ted Kennedy would tell Andropov or Brezhnev, “Be cool, be cool, we got it under control, we got Reagan hemmed in.”

This is what McCain was essentially trying to comfort the Australians by saying (imitating McCain), “Look, this guy’s not quite all there, but don’t sweat it because there isn’t gonna be drastic action, it’s okay. The United States is still a big ally of Australia.”

Sifting Through the Fake News on President Trump’s Calls with Mexico and Australia – How about the AP report that Trump threatened the president of Mexico? Sifting Through the Fake News on President Trump’s Calls with Mexico and Australia - How about the AP report that Trump threatened the president of Mexico?

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