..

All Falls Down - Chapter 11

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

All OC Characters belong to me

taglist: @christinabae @southerngirl41 @reci1996 @jeyusos-girl @melaninsugababy @baconeggndcheez @bemybabiibish @purplehairgawdess @jstarr86 @nbanenefrmdao @arination99 @alyyaanna @harmshake @empressdede @m3llowww @theninthwonder @jeysbae @badbitchcentralinc @raya-hunter01 @kawaiisadoglu @msbigredmachine @dietothemusic @2-muchsauce @tian-monique @leaderofthebadbitchbrigade @woahthatshitfat @allmyn1ghts @courtninacole @mindairy @amandairene88 @reignsboy19 @wrestlingprincess80 @abadbitchblogs @cyberdejos2 @saintaquarius @bebesobrielo @vensusword @meannaim

Present Day

“Joe imma need to you to get the fuck away from me… real talk.” Josh snarled, “You always wanna bring up some old shit. We graduated twenty-something years ago.” Joe rolled his eyes. 

“Does it really matter how long ago it was Joshua? Y’all were dating. You had her give up her dream school to go to Alabama with you, then left her in Alabama by herself when you couldn’t keep your grades up. You always fuck up when it comes to Kiyana.” 

Kofi Xavier and Sami shared a look, whatever was going on between Josh and Joe went back years and they weren’t sure if they wanted to get involved. 

“Yo” Josh laughed “You deadass obsessed with my wife.” Josh stood up from his chair, pushing Xavier’s hand out of his way when he went to stop him and walked up into Joe’s face. “She’ll always be mine, Uce, my wife, the mother of my kids. So whatever plan you got cooking, you minds well put a end to it. She ain’t leaving me” Josh glared before shouldering Joe out of his way and walking out of catering to find Kiyana. 

Kiyana had wound up back outside by the docks. She knew she should’ve stayed her ass in Florida. ‘You had planned to divorce KiKi and get with Shanté.’ Hearing Joe say that and then Josh not even attempting to deny it actually broke Kiyana to pieces. The affair was one thing that they maybe could have recovered from but this… there was no coming back, there was no fixing this marriage. It was over.  Tears were pouring down her face at the thought of not being married to Josh anymore. 

“I’m sorry.” She heard someone whisper from behind her. Kiyana wiped her tears and turned around, rolling her eyes at who was standing there. “Look, lets just go home aight and forget about all of this, aight?” Kiyana scoffed 

“Forget? Josh, you want me to forget that you told some bitch that you wanted to divorce me for her? You really got me fucked up Joshua.” 

“Kiyana, I never said that.” He tried to walk towards her but she held up her hand to stop him. “Come-on Key, I love you, you know that.” 

“No, I thought I did.” She let out a sarcastic laugh and wiped her tears. “I thought that you loved me but it’s so obvious that you don’t. If you loved me you would’ve told me what happened between you and that woman the first time but you didn’t.You continued your affair for four months.” 

“And I’m sorry for that Key. I’m gon fix this Kiyana. I have to fx this. You want me to quit? I’ll do it. It’s so many other wrestling promotions out there.” She shook her head. 

“It’s too late Joshua,” She whispered, her heart feeling heavy in her chest. “This can’t be fixed.” 

“What? No.” He said walking towards her, ignoring her warning of ‘stay away’ “I fuck up, that’s what I do and then I fix it. I always fix it.” 

“Not this time.” She grabbed her bag and walked off without giving Josh a second glance. It was nearing midnight and all she wanted to do was lay in bed and cry her eyes out. 

Josh blinked back tears as he watched his wife walk away from him. How could he fuck up this bad? He shoulda stopped the affair as soon as it happened but with Key in the hospital and worrying if she and Kairo were going to make it, Josh needed an outlet. He needed a way to vent and Shanté was there for him, no it should have never led to them having sex for four months, but he was a man with needs.

Ever since her father had died, Kiyana had pushed Josh away. Even him trying to rub her stomach to feel his son had her bitching and complaining and maybe that was the reason why he didn’t stop the affair. He just wished he could go back in time and walk away from Shanté when she asked him out for that drink. 

Joe walked out of the arena just as Kiyana walked away from Josh and he had to hide his smirk. ‘Not leaving you my ass’ Joe thought as he walked past Josh and in the direction Kiyana went. 

“KiKi!” Joe called out after her, breaking out into a light jog to catch up to her. “Hey, come on. I’ll take you back to my bus.” She shook her head, eyes still glued to her phone as she looked up flights to Pensacola. 

“No Joseph. I just wanna go home okay.” She said almost tempted to throw her phone as she only saw flight that left tomorrow afternoon. “I should have stayed home. Coming here was a bad idea and you were no help! Like why did you have to blurt that out!” 

“So what,  he’s the only one that gets to cheat? That’s not right Kiyana!” He sighed and took a deep breath trying to calm himself down. “You don’t deserve what he did to you Kiyana and he should feel all of the pain that he made you feel.” Kiyana rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I just want to go home.” She sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat. “Can you take me to a hotel?” 

“No, you can stay on my bus, I’ll stay out in the living room and you can stay in my room.” When she opened her mouth to decline, Joe shook his head and raised his voice, talking over her. “I’m not taking no for an answer Kiki.” 

“Fine,” She muttered. “Where’s your bus?"

Joe was jolted away when his driver hit a pothole. He sat up on the couch and stretched, frowning when he heard Kiyana sniffling in his room. Josh should pay for what he’s done to her. She didn’t deserve any of this. He stood up from the couch and stretched the muscles in his back before walking over to the closed door and knocking on it. 

“You alright in there Kiyana?” He asked softly, feeling his heart ache at the sound of her choked sobs. 

“Yeah, sorry if I woke you up.” She said softly, Joe having to strain his ears to hear her over the sound of the bus’s engine. 

“It’s all good Kiki.” He said and then after a moment of silence asked, “can I come in.” Kiyana didn’t say anything but he heard her feet pad across the floor then heard the lock clicking. “You wanna talk about it?” Joe asked once he walked into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed, his body half-way turned towards her. 

“Not really,” She said softly, shrugging and wiping her nose with some tissue. Joe nodded and laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “How could he do this to me Joey? After everything we've been through.” she whimpered, picking at stray strings in his blanket. 

“He’s a moron Kiyana.” Joe whispered back, turning his head to the side to look at her. Even with her puffy eyes and slightly snotty nose, she was the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. 

“What am I going to tell my kids?” She asked, looking up at him. Joe moved up the bed, resting his back against the headboard and pulled Kiyana into his arms.

“Don’t worry about that right now KiKi.” He muttered, stroking his hand up and down her arm. “You’re a good ass mom, you gon figure everything out for you and your kids.”

“Thank you,” Kiyana broke the silence after a while. “You’ve been a really great friend through all of this.” She whispered, looking up at him and he smiled down at her. 

“You know I'm always gon be here for you KiKi.” He whispered back, eyes jumping back and forth from the lips back up to her eyes. Fuck it. Joe and Kiyana thought simultaneously, both of their heads moving towards each other, their lips meeting in an passionate kiss. 

Kiyana moaned into his mouth as he pulled up on top of him. “Wait-Wait.” Joe said as he broke the kiss, throwing his head back and moaning when she started to place kisses up and down his neck. “You sure you wanna do this.” he moaned again when she started to suck on her earlobe. 

Kiyana moved away from his neck and cupped his jaw in her hands, staring deep into his eyes. “I want to do this Joe.” she affirmed, before reaching down and pulling her oversized shirt off of her, leaving her in her emerald green top and matching green and black lace panties.

“Goddamn baby girl” He said as she also took off her top, her nipple perking up from the coldness of the room. Josh is a fucking idiot. Joe thought as he slid his hands up from her wait to cup her breast.  She moaned and grinded her hips down on his lap as he swirled his tongue around her nipple, sucking on it before moving over to the other one.

Kiyana let out a loud laugh when Joe flipped them over so she was on her back looking up at him. She reached up and released his hair from the bun it was in. “One last chance to back out Kiki.”

Instead of answering him, she reached up and threaded her fingers through his hair, tugging him down so they were chest to chest and bit his bottom lip, sucking it into her mouth. “I want you Joe” Joe nodded and stood from the bed, eagerly taking his shirt off and pushing his shorts and briefs down his legs.

She hummed appreciatively as she eyed his growing erection. Joe smirked down at her and stroked his dick. Her eyes fluttered closed and she let out a moan as he leaned down and  placed open mouth kisses on her stomach leading to her sex. 

He let out a deep moan as he pushed her legs apart and draped them over his shoulders “Fuck, I made you this wet baby?” 

“Joe” She moaned as he took his thumb and ran it up and down her slit before circling her clit. “Fuck yes” She whispered as her back arched off the bed when his tongue replaced his thumb. He circled her clit with his tongue before closing his lips around it. One of her hands flew to his head,  gripping his hair and he moaned when she tugged on it. 

“You taste so fuckin’ good” Your husband is a dumbass he wanted to add but figured it would ruin the mood. “Hold them legs up for me.” He said ,then watched in awe as her toes damn near touched the bed by her ears. “Uh huh, just like that” he whispered before bringing his mouth back down to her pussy. 

She bit her bottom lip, soft moan escaping as she watched him basically devour her pussy. Her moans ,getting louder and louder when Joe circled his middle finger around her entrance  before pushing it inside of her. He let out a deep moan as her pussy clenched around his finger. 

“Mmmm.” She moaned, eyes rolling into the back of her head. “I’m boutta cum Joe.” 

“Go head baby, cum in my mouth.” He winked before wrapping his lips around her clit again and pumping his fingers in and out of her faster, moaning when her juices flooded his mouth. He placed a soft kiss on the inside of each thigh before scooting back up the bed, settling his lower body between her open legs. 

Both of them letting out moans once their lips met. Joe gripped his dick in his hands, sliding it up and down her slit before he pushed only the tip in. He pulled out, smearing her essence up and down her slit again, tapping her clit before, slowly pushing his length inside of her. 

“Mmm fuck” Kiyana gasped out against Joe’s lips and he started moving his length in and out of her. 

Josh woke up to his phone ringing, a special ringtone that he had set for Kiyana. He immediately answered it. 

“Jesus Key,you got me out here worried and shit , where are you?”  

“Oh, fuck Joe right there!” Josh blinked, still holding the phone to his ear as his wife’s moans and his cousin's groans came through his cell phone’s speaker. 

“Kiyana?” Josh whispered, bottom lip wobbling as his heart was literally being torn from his cheat. 

“Shit, Mmhm you grippin’ the fuck out my dick KiKi.” Josh dropped the phone like he had been burned by it, staring down at it in horror. 

🤣

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

happy thursday its l& o time

spoilers thoughts opinions and random ramblings under the cut

Okay, I know they’re undercover but OC seems to be shoving Jet & Jamie together and that gives me the ick because the actors are like, 13 years apart or something. And I get we can age up or down, but I always base of the actors ages so im uncomfortable here…. LOL.

Man… these guys are always SO obvious when they’re trailing, or like, staking someone out from a car, also, ive seen this chase scene already so I know what’s up, BUT, also ive gotta say, her little parkouring is literally just flashy, it’s not saving her ANY time than if she was just continuing to run. If she wasn’t showing off, she probably could’ve escaped.

Okay…does this case/jewelry shit have ANYTHING to do with the casino bitches?? Or are we now doing one BIG case/arc in the background for the entire season and smaller cases for each episode or two? Like the showrunners don’t know what they’re doing with OC….

Well that was some lazy explanation to cover stablers mom not being there and Eli’s in COLLEGE? Are we SURE? Is the math correct on that?

Yeah this Italian chick is annoying, I do not trust her, and she’s literally an olivia knockoff (again, no bensler shipping here…) BUT REALLY?? *sigh*

AYANNA!!!! FUCKKKK!!!! Dem HIPS girl!! I am looking *disrespectfully*

Okay…Jet clearly isn’t the same age of Ainsley if jet was married when she was 20 and it’s clearly been a while now. I don’t like that….

Is this…like..trafficked girl UC cop breaking cover to help her, has a kid back home… is this not the EXACT plot line from last season with elliot and that girl from the diner? This is lazy…just lazy…im literally only here for Ayanna and jet

Fuck AYANA is so pretty! (and also clearly divorced because no lesbian is doing their nails like that….)

Okay. I got bored during a commercial break and looked it up. Eli was born in s9 ep Paternity. That aired in 2007. It’s 2022. ELI IS FUCKIN 15 YEARS OLD AND HE LAZY WRITING/NOT CARING ABOUT SHIT LIKE THIS MEANS that he’s in college, in a different state, at 15. Not to mention… he was only 3 years old when he moved to Italy, he would’ve gone to Italian schools, he would have an Italian accent. Jfc. Why couldn’t they just say that he went to live with Kathleen??

 Okay…mothership time.

 Lets be honest, I’m not paying attention to this shit until Samantha’s on screen so I doubt I’ll have much to say LOL.

JFC there are SO many extras/guest stars that have been on a l&o show multiple times before. This is getting ridiculous. Can some more actors relocate to nyc pls?

Ugh can we stop bringing up covid please?? I know it’s all “pull from reality” but cmon…

OH MY GOD A PURPLE SUIT SAM?!?! FUCCCCCKKK ME!

Okay….okay…hear me out… if I end up writing power high femme sam x casual/bottom muncy….don’t come for me…..

“met the old fashioned way, drunk as hell in a biker bar in queens” fuck I love kate

Also there was a whole lot of shying away from terms of specific gender in that dating/partner talk…and tonights ep was directed by the person who played the og lesbian in this franchise… THAT’S SUSPICIOUS…

SAM!! NOW THE TURQUOISE!!??? DID SHE RAID RITAS CLOSET THIS WEEK OR SOMETHING?!!?! (I LOVE IT)

Okay…imma need WAY more background info on what sam’s story is… cause I just know there’s some shit that’s gone down, like I want that history…

Okay. SVU here we go!

Is amanda gonna fangirl tonight or is muncy gonna take that spot? Cause we all know molly loves sports and they do like to add/write in things of the personal actors lives…

I stand corrected… its joe… awe.. poor guy’s by himself?? You KNOW one of the girls would’ve gone with him!

What hotel did they film at? I need to know for fic reasons…wait…is this the homeland hotel…?? (s6 when they were in nyc)

Mothership ended with Sam saying she had a date, the perp in svu mentions having a date and you tell me why im expected sam to pop up over here LOL.

Yaaaasss molly coming in with the title card! A kween!  (truly did think we’d have to wait until after amanda was gone but I guess I was wrong about that)

Okay, called muncy being an American football fan, adore that they added that in there.

I LEGITIMATELY CANNOT TELL IF THESE TWO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FLIRTING OR IF THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE BROTHER/SISTER SASSY VIBES!!?!????

Octavio with the fucking *hand* thing again jesus

LOL fin… I love you… sweet talkin and bringing people food to get ahead in the case LOL

 UGH FUCKING MCGRATH CAN YOU PLEASE GO OFF A CLIFF ALREADY?!?

Muncy simply cannot be straight when she’s sitting on desks like that…. That IS A QUEER

GRACE FINALLY GOT HER CHEETOS!! YAY!

“the vending machine was out of kale” LOL also lol to joe being all health conscious…

THE BRIGHT TEAL HENLEY!! PLEASE!! JOE!! I AM WEAK

Omg grace fake fangirling, I love it

Where the fuck is carisi??

Dude…. You KNOW the cops are there..why the fuck are you now pulling a gun??

Okay so I will admit, I wasn’t paying too much attention to the case at hand, or the perp, like im literally just here to thirst over people at this point but that wasn’t a bad episode. Definitely the best out of the three for tonight. Still pissed that we don’t seem to get to go to court anymore. I also DESPERATELY miss the recurring guest stars that came along with court rooms, defence attorneys and judges and the like. *sigh* maybe next week. 2 more eps with amanda. Do we think they’ve been clowning us with those BTS pictures/videos or will that shit actually happen?

I got distracted reading 4-04 and 4-05 i totally forgot the actual thing i was supposed to ask you today, what are your thoughts on the kinds of shows the nxx team wouldve watched as kids growing up. MC and Luke have apparently watched animes and even dressed up as characters but i have this need to know the finer details. LIKE. WHAT DID YOU WATCH SPECIFICALLY?? And i remembered you said luke was the one who probably understood most of the terms zangr was saying so like?? Luke do you like these kinds of things?? -Marsh

MARSH, thank you so much for this ask and for the SPECIFIC WORDING "watched as kids growing up." because that makes me have to go back in time and thusly uncovering by far my favorite yet most under-utilized and never-brought-up detail of tears of themis:

the story of this game takes place in the year 2030

DO U HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FUNNIER THIS MAKES SHIT???? AND ALSO HOW MUCH MORE SENSE STUFF MAKES??? let me explain myself by going thru all the boys one by one

luke pearce

YEAH HE SAID HE AND MC WERE RLLY INTO ANIME AS KIDS. luke pearce who is 24 years old in 2030 means that from the Important Media Ages (12-15) it was 2018-2021. this period of time, anime started getting more and more accessible, most notably getting on netflix and stuff like this. so like all the anime on netflix rn? yeah luke's watched them.

though because i kin luke, imma say that his fave is fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood. ive got no characterization proof for this, i just want to give him this honor

additionally, luke is a HUUUUGE fan of the original Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle novels (ACD Sherlock) and i think this would have pushed him to watch like, just every popular sherlock media adaptation there is. he personally liked Elementary better than BBC Sherlock. he generally just gravitates to the adaptations that dont forget about the heart of all of the characters.

also also also, luke likes action movies ranging from "hey this is "good" to critics" to "this is a shit movie but MY GOD IS IT FUN!!!"

artem wing

artem wing who is 29 years old in 2030 means that from the Important Media Ages (12-15) it was 2013-2016. but also artem is a MOVIE SNOB LMAOOO, hes That Guy with the Opinions On Film and you bet that his analytical ass was into just the most extra shit to watch those days because no teenager is chill, every teenager has some kind of ego, i dont know what movies he would have watched at that point to be the Smartest Teenager About Movies, but he sure did watch them

though artem also is very into sci-fi literature and 2013-2016 had a BUUUNCH of huge sci-fi movies. Pacific Rim, Gravity, Interstellar, Arrival. Arrival is deffo artem's fave, dont fight me on this, i can explain further but not in this answer bc it will get LOOONG LOL

artem also is into "classics" which uh. wait artem what do you Mean by that, what is a "classic" for somebody born in 2001??? i dont really know exactly what he means by "classics" so i just take it to mean he's a slut for period dramas which leads me to my closing point

"Once upon a time, when [Artem] was younger, around 17 years old, he pondered identifying as asexual or as one of the subsets under that term, but he put that aside after he first watched Pride and Prejudice (2005). He had then acquired a recurring fantasy in which he would be sensually accosted by Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy in a secluded study after months of furtive, charged glances, lingering, split second touches, double entendres classily and subtly masked but still implying a repressed yet voracious—Moving on." -an excerpt from my comedy smut fic where artem goes thru a crisis. yeah. yeah. Pride and Prejudice dir. Joe Wright was his bisexual awakening.

MOVING ON!!

vyn richter

vyn richter who is 27 years old in 2030 means that from the Important Media Ages (12-15) it was 2015-2018 but honestly that doesnt help me AT ALL LOL BECAUSE VYN IS A TOUGH NUT TO CRACK.....

like honest to god i cant even imagine vyn as anything other than an adult KJBSJKFS (which is depressing, if i think about it more... but also what vyn would want, i assume he would hate for people to have known him as a child, imperfect and shunned.....which is ALSO DEPRESSING. VYN, U GOOD???)

okay yknow what im not studied enough in Vyn Richter Studies so i will come back to this once ive gotten more of his story and know more of his (what im theorizing to be a SHITASS TERRIBLE) childhood history. so vyn, i guess ur safe from me....ur safe FOR NOW, THAT IS....

marius von hagen

marius von hagen who is 21 years old in 2030 means that from the Important Media Ages (12-15) it was 2021-2024. good fucking lord, marius was born in 2009 and that makes him so young that his Important Media Ages arent even DONE HAPPENING IN OUR CURRENT TIMELINE, JESUS....

2021 is an interesting era of entertainment because it is getting steadily more and more apparent that corporate greed is trying to swallow up good storytelling; movies and shows are made as fast food products to be consumed immediately and thrown away just as fast. there are smarter posts and articles talking about this, but my point here is that marius "believes SO MUCH in art and art's capability to make a difference" von hagen would HATE THIS SO MUCH and, through spite, get into a lot of indie medias that dont necessarily sell. smaller movies, tv shows that got cancelled way before they should have.

oh, hey, MARIUS WAS 12 YEARS OLD IN 2021, yeah he could have watched The Owl House and threw a fucking FIT when disne/y nerfed the show's third season. he has not forgiven and he has not forgotten.

regardless of his age, marius, at some point in his teens watches Vincent and the Doctor (s5 e10 from Doctor Who). for those who dont know this episode, it involves Vincent Van Gogh and a bunch of sci-fi stuff but, at the end, a scene where Van Gogh is taken to the future and shown the impact his art has made on people. please watch it, if you havent it, it's very good and no words can do the experience justice.

anyway yeah marius watches it and it makes him FUCKING SOB

yeah so these are my takes kdjbfdsjfs

In Defense of a Black Cyclops

In case my username didn’t make it clear, the single most anticipated visual project for me is the MCU’s interpretation of the X-Men, which hasn’t even been announced yet [officially]. And ladies and gents, I have found your Cyclops:

Good ol’ Alfred Enoch, who we all know from Harry Potter and How to Get Away With Murder. If you’re not familiar with HTGAWM, know that his character goes from the de facto leader of the ragtag (murderers) and most cherished protege of Viola Davis’ Professor X to taking more of a grimdark turn after his girlfriend’s death. Sound at least somewhat familiar?

Enoch also embodies the physicality of the character well, seeing as to how he’s “slim”, 6′4(!!), black, and notoriously lanky. Wait, one of these isn’t like the others.

In general I hate fancasting. Everyone generally picks from the same pool of about 30 actors (Peeps, neither Taron nor Daniel is a good Wolverine choice. Argue with your mother!), and most all of it is based on physicality, except when it absolutely should be (like say, choosing a ~5′10 dark-skinned black woman for Storm).

And I think there’s some malarkey afoot. I think there needs to be some serious consideration on part of fancasters and actual casting agents alike to rethink race when it comes to the [white] X-Men, especially since they’re the X-Men of all teams. So I’ll make the case for a black Cyclops: 

1. There is no quota on Black X-Men: There’s a bug in your ear that’s been whispering lies to you for years, it says something to the effect of “We need a black person on the team for diversity. How bout Storm?” And you’ve gotten complacent. Storm does not have to be the only black person on your X-Men roster.

2. The X-Men represent diversity: Iceman is gay, Cyclops and Prof. X are disabled (sorta), there are plenty of women, oh and everybody except Storm is white. Of the A-List X-Men, there is only *one* POC character. I’d argue that an MCU X-Men needs to champion diversity like never before.

3. The X-Men represent minority struggle while being mostly white: There’s a cognitive dissonance in the metaphor that has always been there, and for the most part, nobody cares. To appeal to the white readers of the 60′s, the X-Men were all initially white. That way, the message of the mutants could be related to the audience with a familiar face. We don’t need to approach the problem that way in 202?

4. Just because that’s the way it’s always been, doesn’t mean that’s the way it should be: The first line of defense. Sorry, that will never be a good justification for literally any idea. It’s time for some more critical thinking.

5. We don’t all want to be Bishop: So say you’re white and you have a kid who for his birthday having a costume party. You’ve bought some X-Men costumes and you want each kid to pick one. 9 white kids and one black kid show up to your house. As the kids deliberate who gets what costume, be it Cyke or Wolvie or whatever, you yell at everybody to “STOP!”, point to the one black kid and tell him “You’re gonna be Bishop. That’s it, end of story!” 

We don’t all want to be Bishop. The black child could have the best Cyclops interpretation within him, but you’ll never know if you don’t let him try. And that’s no different from the Black actors of Hollywood. There’s no reason why all of the black talent should *have* to compete for the role of Bishop or Storm, which I’ve discussed, while Joe Schmo can walk up and audition for literally anybody he wants.          

Jharrel Jerome is 23 and has an Emmy to his name. He needs to be in the MCU in some capacity, period. Stephan James is another. How bout Damson Idris. Ashton Sanders. But no, no, let’s fancast Dacre Montgomery or Ansel or Joe Keery again as [Human Torch, Wolverine, Iceman, Angel, I’ve literally seen it all.]

6. Nobody wants to see the B-team if it comes down to it. The next line of defense from your racebending naysayers after “That’s the way it’s always been!” is “Well, what about Psylocke, Bishop, Forge and Jubilee?” who are otherwise known as B-tier X-Men. The problem is, we’ve got limited time and limited spots.

So since the X-Men is all about wonky metaphors that make half sense, let me give you another: Let’s say somebody approaches you and says “Hey buddy, I got two free concert tickets for ya! You can either see Michael Jackson Sings the Blues, or you can go see Justin Timberlake. Free of charge!”

Now, are you used to MJ singing the blues? No! Do you have a problem with going to see Justin Timberlake? No, he’s fine on a Wednesday! He had that one little diddy we liked that one time. We’d love to see him eventually! But are you gonna say, “fuck that, I’m going to see MJ Sings the Blues” regardless? Hell yes, because that’s still Michael Jackson. He’s gonna give the same amazing performance he always does, it’s just gonna be the blues. And speaking of blues...

7. Black is not Blue, Brown is not Blue: Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard this one: “I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple, or green, I’m going to treat you all the same!” I will not say all have this intention, but some fancasters have noticed that the racial diversity is kinda low within the A-List X-Men, so they oh-so-generously give the following roles to a black or brown person: Iceman, Nightcrawler, Beast. 

Notice the pattern? It’s a microaggression, and it’s bullshit. What these fancasters are implicitly telling you is that, yes the actors will be black or brown, but when the action starts we can ignore that. They’ll be blue by then. In other words, you in fact do care if they’re purple or green. Nobody will cry foul if Dev Patel gets to play Nightcrawler (because that’s a common one I see), but should Anna Diop be Starfire or Michael B. Jordan be Human Torch, I bet there’d be backlash. Oh wait. If that’s you, please stop acting like you actually value diversity. You don’t want to see black or brown skin, period. Unless of course, it’s Storm (refer to point #1).

But wait, there’s more! When brown characters get whitewashed in these movies, it’s crickets! So eventually it’s revealed implicitly that proclaimers of point #4 only care about it one way.

8. Professor X should not be black if you’re not willing to change anyone else: The next line of defense is that some people say the professor should be black, if anybody HAS to be racebent. Something something MLK Jr., Civil Rights or some shit. Number one, I’m not reducing Professor X to being a magical negro for 9 white people (and Storm!) who for all intents and purposes get to have all the action. Number 2, the Professor X/MLK/Magneto/Malcolm X comparison is an oversimplifying disservice to ALL FOUR of those people. I hate that line whenever I see it, please watch a documentary my friends. 

9. The Candidates for Racebending: For me, the A-List X-Men are Cyclops, Jean Grey, Iceman, Angel, Beast, Wolverine, Storm, Gambit, Rogue, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Kitty Pryde. Now, who should be exempt from the racebending? Storm, she’s our designated minority. Gambit, he’s Cajun and they’re white (generally speaking, that’s a fun bit of research). Wolverine, Colossus, and Nightcrawler, because their nationality/ethnicity was the whole point of the Giant-Size premise in the first place. Angel, because his character embodies a privileged white male. Beast and Iceman, I don’t care one way or another (Point #7).

That leaves Cyclops, Rogue, Jean Grey, and Kitty Pryde. Now Jean Grey is a redhead, and we all know that every time a redhead is racebent people sharpen their pitchforks (Mary Jane, Wally West, Iris West), so I will cede the ground on Jean if only so that my ginger friends can get their rep. Kitty Pryde is Jewish, but Jews of color exist. Rogue is from the South. And Cyclops is, well, just Cyclops. That makes those three characters good options for more diversity. But allow me to make the case for Cyclops, specifically.

10. It’s not just diversity for diversity’s sake: If you had to pick who the main character of the X-Men is supposed to be, most would say Cyclops. And so in a series that highlights racial discrimination in society, it makes sense that our main character be black. While changing Cyclops’ skin color should not change who he is as a character, it *should* recontextualize it. Now, as an eventual increasingly radical leader of the X-Men, Cyclops would evoke real life figures such as Colin Kaepernick or, shall I say, Martin Luther King, Jr.

Not that most X-Men fans and writers truly think about what it means to be black anyways. Storm’s minority status is almost always put through the lens of her being a mutant and not her being a black woman. In other words, you can’t argue that making a character black will fundamentally change his or her character when you haven’t even analyzed the racial context of the black character(s) you already have. Another concept that the MCU X-Men should tackle: intersectionality.

11. Representation matters: I have to say it: Chadwick Boseman’s Black Panther hit different. And now he is tragically gone. At the end of the day, the MCU moving forward is down its most prominent black male superhero. Which has implications beyond just the movies themselves.

The women are in good hands. Shuri, Okoye, and Nakia are badasses in Wakanda, Valkyrie is ruling Asgard, Storm is almost assuredly on the way, RiRi Williams has already been cast, and Monica Rambeau is here and she’s not even at her most glorious yet. That doesn’t even include variable Δ, or the number of characters who can and will be racebent. And I’ll note again that to me, Gamora doesn’t count, because she’s green (#7 really pisses me off because it’s so blatant. I hate it). Of course from a behind the camera perspective we love black women getting work.

The men are a completely different story. Imma just go out and say it, I can’t stand Falcon and War Machine [in the MCU] because they’re not characters, they’re just two of a slew of MCU minority sidekicks who have essentially been at the beck and call of Captain America and Iron Man, respectively. You cannot tell Falcon’s story without mentioning Cap. The reverse is not true. There’s a whole essay that could be and have been written on “Minorities in the MCU, pre-Black Panther”. Remember, there’s a reason BP made so much noise in the first place.

So excluding those two we have, let’s see, M’Baku, Blade, and Fury who aren’t exactly the most superheroic superheroes, Eli Bradley is proooobably coming, I doubt Miles Morales is coming (because he’s just Peter Parker in the MCU), Luke Cage(?) Bishop(??), Sunspot(???), Blue Marvel(????). Not only are they not A-List, I would not put money on any of them being in the MCU any time soon.

Cyclops is thee Captain America of the X-Men. He’s the frontman. He’s the poster boy. He’s the “boy scout”, which in other words means he’s the hero, if there has to be one. It would mean a lot right now, and specifically *right now*, if he were to be black. The MCU needs it. It NEEDS it.

12. The X-Men is the Summers Story: I’ll even make the case that if just one character needs to racebent, then it should be Cyclops, because that of course implies that other related characters need to be black because half of the X-Men universe is in fact a part of the Summers family. 

So now Cable is black. Corsair is black. Havok is black. And one of the most central stories in the X-Men mythos, the Summers family drama, is now a black family drama set in space or the future or where the fuck ever. The concept is boundary pushing. When white families have drama in the media, it gets to be Game of Thrones or Star Wars, while when black families have drama in the media, it has to be black people arguing in a kitchen or living room about their various earthly traumas (I’m @’ing you, Mr. Perry). I mean, that’s all fine and good often times, but I want my black family drama in space, dammit.

And again, this is the X-Men, the series that’s all about *minorities* and their struggle, so again, why not?

Oh, and I’ll even throw out a Havok fancast for you: How bout Jharrel Jerome?

These Hands Were Made For You (Bill Guarnere x Reader)

Based on this post by @problematicfavesareproblematic​ because its amazing!

This is my first time writing Wild Bill. Lemme know what y’all think!

Warnings: swearing, sexual tension, palming (is that a warning?)

Words:2600

Tag List: @happyveday​ @sydney-m​ @saritanotserena​

  As soon as you stepped into the barn-converted-to-mess-hall in Albourne, you knew what was coming. 

 "There she is, fuckin' goddess of war herself! Come to see how the toughest, most handsome sonofabitch in the 506 is doin' this morning?" 

 You just chuckled and shook your head at his exaggerated smug look. "Yeah, Bill. Something like that."

 Guarnere winked at you and you could not figure out how it was possible for such a simple action to be so dirty. The way he tilted his head just slightly, the corner of his mouth lifted in a half smirk followed by a quick wink...you could feel heat pooling in your belly and your breath catch. 

 The cocky grin on his face grew as he saw the hint of pink on your cheeks. He knew what that wink did to you and he LOVED using it against you. 

 Bastard. 

 "Something you need, Y/L/N?" Martin asked from the table closest to the door.  

 "Yeah, any of you seen Lip?"

 Luz answered from the table, cigarette dangling from between his lips. "Think he went back to the house to grab something. Why?"

 You waved Luz off as you could see him start to stand, stepping further into the barn. "Just need to ask him something. Winters is in a meeting otherwise I'd ask him."

 "Why don't you take a seat, he should be back soon."

 "Perfect spot saved right here for the Valkyrie of Easy!" Bill announced, patting the open spot on the bench next to him. 

 You rolled your eyes but relented, moving past the other table to drop next to Guarnere. On his other side sat Heffron, still looking a bit wide-eyed and nervous that he somehow won the coveted spot with the Toccoa men. Toye sat across, giving you a brief nod when you sat down. Perconte, Christianson, Skinny, and Grant also took up residence around the table. Perco seemed to have been in the middle of telling some overly, exaggerated story. 

 Most of Easy relaxed in the barn. The Toccoa men were grateful for the break from the front-line and hot food instead of K rations. All the replacements were eager for the next jump, ready to soil their ODs, not truly understanding that war would only take from them, never give. The division between Toccoa men and replacements was painfully obvious. 

 Heffron leaned around Guarnere to meet your eyes. "Hey, sorry again about the fellas yesterday. They've been like that since training."

 "Not your fault, Babe." You shrugged, running a hand through your hair. 

 "What's he talkin' about?" Guarnere narrowed his eyes at you. Even Toye across the table was staring at you in concern. 

 "Nothing, Bill. It's fine."

 "If you're sayin' its fine then it ain't fuckin' fine." He growled. When he realized you were not going to elaborate, he turned on Babe. "What the fuck happened?"

 The redheaded replacement looked like he would rather be anywhere else in the world in that moment than being interrogated by Wild Bill. "Some of the men were...ah, tryin' to...um… proposition her." He finished with a wince. 

 A long beat of silence.

 Then Guarnere exploded. 

 He pounded the table with a tight fist, the table shaking at the impact.  A snarl on his lips, he started to rise from his seat, eyeing the tables further away full of replacements. "Who the fuck was it? Someone from our platoon? Imma fuckin' kill 'em. Who was it?"

 "No," you cut in, grabbing his arm and restraining him, hoping to stop him before he worked himself up into a frenzy, "some replacements from third."

 He growled but let you pull him back down. "Goddamn replacements. They touch you?"

 "No, Bill. I handled it."

 Toye spoke up, eyeing his friend carefully as if to see if he was going to have to prevent a replacement's murder or help hide the body. "What you do?"

 You smirked, squeezing Guarnere's arm for good measure then pulled your hand back into your lap. "Told them if they tried to pull that shit again, I'd rip their cocks off and mail them to their mothers."

 All the men at the table either winced or shifted uncomfortably at the mental image. 

 "Hey, don't you be touchin' no one's cocks." Bill said, fury still on his face but also amusement. 

 You raised an eyebrow, "what would you rather I have done? Swung at them? Give Sink a reason to send me packing?"

 "Nah, you swing at 'em, they might fall in love." He winked at you again, telling you he knew exactly what he was talking about. Underneath the table, hidden from view, his knuckles skimmed the outside of your thigh. You attempted to hide the shiver that caused but knew you failed when Guarnere chuckled quietly.

 "Why would that matter?" Babe asked innocently. 

 "Oh, here we go." Toye sighed. 

 "Shut up Joe, the kid asked alright." Guarnere started his story, pleased to have a new, rapt audience. "So here we are, back in Toccoa, right? Most of us have already arrived and started trainin' with goddamn Sobel. Then one day this beautiful broad shows up and we're told she's joinin' the paratroopers. None of us believe it. Why would a broad be joinin'? Don't make no fuckin' sense. So the next day we're supposed to be startin' to learn self-defense and guess who I get paired up with? Huh? Lovely Y/L/N over here. Right, so I'm fuckin' pissed cause I don't wanna be fightin' no broad but Sobel is watchin' like a hawk. I tell her I'll pretend to swing at her and she should just fall down. Play fightin', ya know? Like when youse a kid. I take a swing at her, thinkin' she knew the plan. She easily dodges my swing and before I can right myself, she lands a punch on me. Knocked me flat on my ass and seein' stars. I look up to see this goddess standin' over me, bloody knuckles and all, and she says 'you better get up and fight me like a man before I knock you on your ass again'."

 "So, what you do?" Heffron asked, surprise clearly written all over his face. 

 Guarnere tapped the table with his finger. "What did I do? Well, I got up and told her that when this war is over, I'm gonna fuckin' marry her, that's what I was gonna do."

 Those who had heard the story before chuckled while Heffron sat there, head tilted and eyes bouncing between you and Guarnere like he was waiting for the punchline still. 

 "Why? No offense, Y/L/N." 

 Guarnere threw his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. "Cause she hits harder than any fella I've ever known, includin' me brother Henry. Boxin' champion that one was. Now if that ain't a reason to marry someone, I don't know what is."

 "And she puts up with your bullshit." Toye deadpanned. 

 You rolled your eyes, sliding out from underneath Guarnere's arm. "That's just words unless there's a ring and I don't plan on marrying for a while yet. Still gotta win a war first." You stood up, smoothing down your ODs. "'Sides, maybe by then I'll find someone who doesn't annoy me so much."

 "Nah, you'd miss my handsome face too much."

 "You keep telling yourself that, Bill."

 "One day you'll come around." He winked, making your insides warm. You would never understand how that was possible. The Philadelphian pointed a finger at you. "You lemme know if any of those replacements bother you again. Can't have those bastards propositionin' my future wife."

 "See you later, boys." You said, not even bothering to answer him. You headed towards the door, intent on finding Lipton; but also to get away from the man who gave you such feels without even saying a word. Then when he did speak, complimenting and claiming you in front of the others…. it was becoming harder and harder to keep your hands and your lips to yourself. 

 ***** 

 You leaned against the doorframe, admiring the man who was too caught up in writing a letter home to have noticed you yet. He twirled the pencil between his fingers as he thought about his words. The chair creaked under him as he shifted, leaning forward against the wooden desk to continue writing. The small bedroom only consisted of the desk, chair and bed. Guarnere's duffle bag was thrown in a corner with things haphazardly pulled out. The NCOs had been billeted in a house together, everyone able to have their own rooms unlike the enlisted men who were forced to share a converted barn.

 When you had first met him, and your first real encounter resulted in you punching him, you had thought he was the most unhelpful, condescending, little shit; and you had no problems telling him that for weeks after. When he had bounced back to his feet and proposed...you had laughed so uncontrollably, it had taken a sharp bark from Lipton to get you to focus again. 

 Over the following weeks, the bastard would openly flirt with you and practically pummel anyone else who tried to. Sometime around Fort Benning, your own feelings toward him started to change. No longer was he a man you loathed. You found yourself happy he was in your platoon, that he hovered around you keeping assholes from other companies away, that you enjoyed his flirting and when you two were alone... you reciprocated. 

 Actually, the first time you flirted back, he almost choked on his tongue he was so surprised. After that, things shifted between you two. 

 He continued openly flirting but understood you could not since you were under far more scrutiny and Sobel was looking for ANY reason to get rid of you. 

 For two years Guarnere had been in your life...and you hoped for the rest of it too. 

 "Enjoyin' the view, sweetheart?"

 You smiled at him as he leaned back in the chair, legs still under the desk. "Should I be?"

 He scoffed. "You know you like what you see...I'll tell you though," his eyes raked over you, "you're a fuckin' goddess with a body to drive a man crazy."

 You laughed, covering your mouth with your hand to minimize the sound, as he winked at you before turning back to his letter. 

 "The other NCOs said you were going out tonight for drinks."

 "Yeah, yeah. Told 'em if I didn't finish this letter for my ma, she'd jump on a boat and come find me. Got three letters from her already. Last one she threatened to come find me. So, I told the fellas I'd meet them there."

 The muffled sounds of the other NCOs drifted up the stairs; they were gathered in the common room getting ready to head out. With that in mind, you moved silently across the room to where he sat at the chair. Coming up behind him, you dragged your hands over his broad shoulders then down his firm chest, stilled his motions. 

 "Y/N…"

 You loved touching him, could not get enough of it when you were able to. What you also loved doing was paying him back for teasing you. 

 One of your hands continued to travel downward until you palmed his cock. He froze, pencil hovering just about his letter. Without a word, you slowly, torturously, stroked him over his trousers. 

 "Fuck, sweetheart." He groaned, tipping his head back slightly. 

 "You said earlier I wasn't supposed to be touching anyone's cocks...does that include yours?"

 Turning his head, he looked at you out of the corner of his eye but before he could speak, you took the tip of his earlobe between your teeth. 

 "Hands on the desk, Sergeant." You growled in his ear. 

 Immediately, his hands slammed on the wooden desk, palms down. The pencil fell to the floor. Letter now forgotten on the desk. 

 "Mmm, yes, sir… you keep them there." You continued slowly stroking his cock over his trousers. "You have no idea how bad I wanted to kiss you earlier when we were at the mess hall." You licked up the curve of his ear, feeling him shudder under your touch. Your hand gave him a gentle squeeze as you continued whispering in his ear. "Think I should punish you for teasing me earlier? That wink you gave me...all the dirty images it put in my head. Want me to tell you about them?"

 "Fuck, sweetheart, yes."

 "I thought about you bending me over one of those tables. Notice how they are at the perfect height? How good you would feel inside me. How deep you would be."

 One of his hands started to move off the table, drifting towards where your hand played with him. 

 You nipped his earlobe sharply, making him hiss. "Hands up, Sergeant, or no reward later."

 "You're gonna kill me, darlin'." His hand slammed back on the desk. 

 You licked a line up his neck before pressing your lips against his ear again. The pace of your hand increased, his chest rising and falling to match. "Remember that time in Mackall where we snuck into the parachute packing building and fucked on the silks. You couldn't wait to get inside of me and almost tore my new ODs. So I made you wait and watch as I started touching myself. After someone came in and we almost got caught."

 His hips were now rutting against your hand, the chair shaking with his movements.  His hands were in white-knuckled fists on the desks, trembling with his desire to get them on you. 

 Unable to help yourself, you grabbed his face with your free hand, turning it to press a bruising, messy kiss to his lips. He greedily took ownership of your mouth and deepened the kiss. He plundered your mouth with his tongue, reminding you how his mouth and skillful tongue alone could drive you wild. 

 Finally you broke away, pressing your forehead against his temple as you attempted to refill your lungs with the oxygen he had stolen. "God, I wish I could kiss you out there. Let everyone know I am yours. Maybe share quarters with you instead of sneaking around like teenagers. Fuck whenever we want."

 "I'd be the luckiest, fuckin' bastard in all of Easy. You're mine. My goddess."

 "There is one thing I need right now. I need the toughest, most handsome sonofabitch above me. I need my man inside me." You squeezed your hand, making him tip his head back and loudly groan. "Now the other NCOs are just downstairs. Think you can keep quiet?"

 He pressed a hard and fast kiss to your lips. "Oh darlin', it ain't me whose gonna have to keep from screamin'."

 "Mmm, think you can help me out?"

 "I'd do anythin' for ya…." He turned in his seat, hands now stroking your waist with a completely wicked and sinful smirk on his face. "Go lock the door."

 You stepped back, admiring the disheveled look on Guarnere, how his eyes blazed with passion and desire. For you. Without tearing your gaze from his, you shut the door and locked it behind you. 

 "Jesus Christ, you're a dream."

 "Only for you. Come on, Sergeant, show me how good you are with your...arsenal."

 Before you could move, he leapt out of his chair, making it clatter on the floor as it tipped over in his enthusiasm. He picked you up easily and tossed you on the bed. You laughed only to be immediately silenced by his mouth slamming against yours, a moan drawn from you as his talented fingers rid you of your clothing with an almost inhuman speed. 

 *****

 Later that night Guarnere was quite late for getting to the pub but he did not mind one bit. Especially since his bed now smelled like you…. And he had been able to remind you how much he loved you. 

 Quite vigorously. 

26 for yttd ask meme!

i have sOOO many yttd headcannons!! i'll try and give a varied answer despite me focusing in on like 4 characters lol. man i don't even know where to start–

- shin has an INSANE startle response. he hates it and people like hinako will take advantage of this fact and try to spook him for shits and giggles

- kai has problems letting himself indulge in things beyond his basic needs so people kinda need to force him to take time JUST for himself. he's not bad at taking care of himself (like keiji or shin lolol) but he kinda just doesn't do many things unprompted or with only himself in mind. as a kaishin enjoyer i like to think shin would trick him into being self indulgent by asking him to buy food that he doesn't like but kai does like and so kai has to treat himself lol. little things like that

- i think kanna kizuchi would be a very good friend to snails and frogs :> furthermore, i think it'd be neat if she was into some more harmleas bugs like worms. imagine her bringing them inside and freaking out sara and shin lolol. i don't think kugie would be as freaked out by it if at all, but they all tolerate it because kanna calls them her friends and gets all excited about it 😔😔

- mishima may be fiscally responsible now, but i hc that when he was younger he used to buy a bunch of random shit no one would ever need but it's just cool to own. like novelty straws and odd mini-statues and wind chimes when he has no porch, etc etc. his apartment was a mess at some point because of all of these things he owned, he really just couldn't bring himself to get rid of them. it was organized chaos, so he could function in that environment, but no one else could. finally, he decided to give away a lot of his prized possessions to friends or students he was really close with, so nao ended up getting a lot of his weird stuff lol, especially the artistic things. she was really happy about it, too!

- ahh idk if i've mentioned this somewhere here before but, i hc that keiji would just be kinda bad with driving, mostly because of his ptsd. he has a hard time staying focused and grounded, and when that's not the case, the sounds of a busy street can sometimes overwhelm him. he doesn't want anyone to know this tho so if he's planning to go somewhere with someone he suggests places nearby so he can just walk there

- hinako gets kanna into a bunch of her weird interests after they become friends, lots of horror related stuff that kanna wouldn't normally be introduced to. shin is somewhat upset at hinako because now he has two little sisters with interests that terrify him, sara is glad kanna's talking about something else besides romance but also a little terrified (she's a bit wary of hinako initially lol), and kugie thinks hinako's dope and is right there with them

- shin hinako brotp is so important to me 😭 they would really just Vibe. shin would treat her less like a child and more like a friend just because hinako seems older than she is, but still try to take care of her and eventually assumes an elder brother role. they have very "i'm sad" "same" energy and they game together

- shin hinako and joe brot3 is very important to me as well SJDJKSSN. joe is their emotional support, they both find joe kind of annoying at first but then they really love him 😔 they also game together AHSSBCBS

- i don't even know if this or the last two count as headcannons, but my two favourite family arrangements are hinako being keiji and mishima's daughter OR reko adopted anzu and hinako. these arrangements just have such good vibes. hinako and anzu would be such nice sisters, anzu would braid hinako's hair and hinako would ALSO spook anzu since she's kinda a scaredy cat sjdhsjd

- joe thinks he's very good at games until he plays against hinako, who is actually good at games. joe then realises the only reason he thought he was good at games is because he only ever played them with sara, and sara is much worse at gaming

- i hc mishima specifically as biracial! black and japanese :> i could gush about this hc for fair too long but i'll try to be concise– i just really liked the idea of mishima having an afro so that's where it came from, but then i tied it into potential past bullying (because another hc of mine is that mishima was bullied in school because of his appearance) so i kinda came up with the really sad hc that people used to bully mishima for his curly hair and need for glasses and the way he walked and stuff, plus i think he would've been really scrawny as a kid / teen. this led to a lot of self hatred and insecurity for him, and he eventually worked out the self hatred and discarded it but the insecurity still lingers sometimes.

- leading off of the last hc, this leads mishima to really empathize with shin and want to help him

imma stop cos that's just a lot LOL but i hope they're enjoyable 👊

Ya girl is watching the latest HSM series ep and Imma live blog it hshshs and will add my reactions under the cut so it doesn't end up a long post. Anyways, let's goo:

AHHHH THE MORNING SHOW WITH GINA AND EJ WE LOVE TO SEE IT

They really said we're gonna let life imitate art with Nini and Olivia huh

Ricky was SUPPORTIVE??? Damnn I really thought we gonna get a classic Ricky tantrum....

But also wow sir that sounds salty and should definitely talk to someone abt how you're feeling...A therapist maybe 👀

I know we needed to contextualise how Ricky felt abt the song but I really wanted to see Nini's interview in full!!

Sebby you're so cute I do wanna see yall do DEH

Shjshshs not the rights not being available for another 5 years 😭😭

I dunno how they're in great shape and closer to the Menkies Gold after not having a single proper rehearsal, but go off Miss Jenn

Omg honestly Kourt's costumes are always amazing and on point Imma excited to see it

Kourt is such a simp we love to see it

Carlos is so pissy this episode we love to see it shshhs

Also love the way Seb calms him down and keeps him nice it's such a funny dynamic

"We had 20 people make our Belle dress over 50 hours" Okay North High shut the fuck up

I'm calling it now the reason North High knows so much is cos Howie is the leak and Kourt has been unwittingly telling him. The way her phone keeps going off as they discuss how North High knows everything is really good foreshadowing if my prediction is right

Also like her phone went off just as Carlos said "How did they know that?" THAT'S PEAK FORESHADOWING

If Howie ain't in North High, I dunno what Tim is doing

GSJAGSHAH KOURTNEY MAKING ABS FOR EJ I CANNOT

"I have abs" We know sweetie

"I PADDED THE THUSH FOR YOU" "AWW THANKS KOURT I NEEDED THAT" THIS INTERACTION IS EVERYTHING THAT WAS SO FUNNY!! I love that it is now canon that EJ has abs but no butt love that for him

Okay but like damn these costumes are great!! North High can fuck right off with its high end ones I just wanna see lowkey homemade costumes by students; I'd watch a Broadway show if I wanted to see professional costumes okay

Damn Carlos has killer eyesight clocking in that mask in the trunk

GINA BBY DON'T SAY THAT AND HAHSGSH NINI NUDGING HER WAS SO FUNNY

Nini's little look over at Gina was like "Omg you guys my girlfriend is so cute and dumb" GINI STANS HOW WE FEELING?

Miss Jenn don't be that naive, your boyfriend probably put them up to it

That Insta page is prophetic with their timing tbh; all the info is a leak obviously looking at your Howie but like the timing of it all. Those kiddos don't know that they are discussing the stolen mask at this exact moment (Kourt has put down her phone after Carlos snapped at her so Howie doesn't know they are talking abt it rn)

"We don't dance with the enemy" *cuts to her dancing with Zackey later*

SEBBY WEARING THE TEACUP COSTUME OMG HE'S GOING MAKE SUCH A CUTE CHIP (yes I am still mad Seb/Joe was robbed but Imma fangirl over the costume anyway)

Wtf why does North High look so expensive - they are literally in the same district as East High right??? How did they get this much funding

North High is a very artsy and rich for a public school; they should have had Nini go here instead of YAC tbh (like this campus feels like what YAC should have been) NOW THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN INTERESTING STORYLINE

Seblos' dynamic IS ON POINT THIS EP I really love my bois so much and their back and forth is hilarious

Shhshs DIANE who loves volleyball and North High okay I totally believe it

WHY ARE RED AND ASHLYN SO KINKY EVERY DAMN EPISODE TIM THESE ARE UNDERAGED CHARACTERS STOP IT

Shshsh we love Gina knowing herself and practicing self control by volunteering to be the lookout

Omg yall listen to Carlos and stfu they are so lucky no one saw or heard them yelling Wildcats

Oh no no no no no Miss Jenn you gonna get sucked in; this is gonna be so messy

Omg I saw someone post about this scene before I watched the ep YALL ARE RIGHT THAT BOI HITTING ON GINA IS SO FINE Babes go for that one, not EJ

NOT THEM FAKE DATING UGH E W TIM STOP MAKING ROMANTIC PORTWELL A T H I N G I honestly do not understand how some of yall can ship it romantically knowing Sofia is a whole underaged babey and Matty is a whole ass grown man - like I get the appeal of the Wonderstudies getting together and they do have chemistry but the irl age gap is creepy and outweighs the appeal of shipping them romantically

As I always say; Portwell/Wonderstudies should be a BROTP not an OTP

Ugh Brotp Portwell would have clocked Lily right away; romantic Portwell making googly eyes at each other isn't helping anyone

Living for Nini getting the recognition she deserves - I really like her solo arc this season she's so much more interesting without Ricky tbh

Aww Kourt you simp I love her and I'm so happy she's happy I wanna be wrong about Howie being a North High kid

Where is the mask??

OHMYGOD THESE KIDS COMING IN LIKE A HORROR MOVIE

Lily really wishes she was Jesse St. James huh; you could never Lily so stop

Andrew Barth Feldman and his cute little French accent I love him so much

Hnng Miss Jenn gonna get manipulated by this hoe. Omg wowow Zackey really is a hoe, making out with another girl before the show THE AUDACITY OF HIM SAYING MISS JENN WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH I WILL THROW HANDS WITH THIS MOFO

Wait the kids didn't steal it BUT WHAT IF ZACKEY DID

Ssjsgfajhdfg I CANNOT WITH ANDREW'S ACCENT but I can't tell if its really bad or really good but I'm also confused why didn't they just cast a French person as Antonie shshhs Antoine is adorableee and a little shit the best type of character

Lily is so annoying b y e sis bye and Olivia Keegan is talented I just wish they didn't make her character such a cartoony villain type

"How about if we bop to the top" SEBBY I LOVE YOU AND NEVER STOP BEING SO CUTE I SWEAR and Awww Carlos called him Honey I am s o f t

Hnng why do these fools are really gonna give into North High calling them chickens

OHHH NO SHE DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT ABOUT ASHLYN FUCK A DANCE OFF I AM ABOUT TO THROW HANDS WITH A 16 YEAR OLD

"She told us not to dance with the enemy. She's better than this" No Sebby, she's not *cuts to her dancing with Zackey* AND OMG THE WAY I SAW THIS EDIT COMING BEFORE IT CAME

Ooooh I like this song wayyy more whatever the mess The Mob Song became (when I first heard it drop on Spotify yesterday) Around You is such a great song musically and lyrically very relevant to these two and gosh I love their voices together

They have so much chemistry damn, go home Mike (well he technically has oop) and Mr. Mazzara

YES YOU DO MISS JENN YOU ALWAYS HAD IT

Oh god this is the scene from the trailer; she's gonna make a move on Ricky isn't she?? Leave him alone Lily he doesn't need a 3rd girl to be confused about he needs a therapist

Lily shut the fuck up with quasi; STOP TRYING TO MAKE QUASI HAPPEN

"I love Nini's song" Sure, Jan.

...Okay yes you should have called him out but don't bait him LIKE THAT oop there's the scene from the trailer

Ohmygod is Andrew Barth Feldman gonna hit on Ashlyn

Okay this is so cute but also I am VERY annoyed with the way this show handles its characters like they aren't relevant or important unless they get into a relationship or a love triangle?? That's such a shitty way to give out screentime and arcs to characters. Is it not enough to develop the characters on their own and strengthen their friendship???

HUH TIM why you so obsessed with compulsory heterosexuality??(well also homosexuality for Seblos but they are the only ones I'm not annoyed with their relationship cos its a hella big step for Disney to have a gay couple and their relationship isn't in our faces or overshadows the plot and its just spinkles of cuteness every time they interact - they are honestly who Rini wishes they were; besties in love. They are a couple that Tim should be taking notes from; leave the relationship drama in the background, focus on the theatre and friendship aspect of everything)

My mini rant aside; this is a very adorable interaction between Ashlyn and Antoine.

"TOM HOLLAND ON STILTS" GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THAT COMPARISON I AM SCREAMING ANTOINE THAT'S SO FUNNY

This is so funny he keeps picking out the hottest guys of the group; as if he himself isn't the French version of Big Red they look super alike ngl shshsh

WHY YOU RUIN IT WITH THAT ANTOINE I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU

Drama between Antoine and Red is already spicing up shshsh I cannot

Why are you so dramatic with the shuffle Lily gtfo of here...also this doesn't make sense?? She wasn't even on a BATB playlist; what if a non BATB song came on ahahah

Good to know they aren't big fans of The Mob Song like I am Awww EJ you cutie, okay I will appreciate the OG Mob Song just for you

OH WAIT HE PROLLY LIKES IT COS ITS A GASTON LED SONG TIM GIMME THE EJ SOLO I DESERVE IN THIS NUMBER

I'm being robbed of Gaston for the last 7 eps I at least deserve an EJ solo for compensation

The way the set looks straight out of Broadway but also like omg the blue lighting and fancy stage gave me intense flashbacks to that Glee episode where Vocal Adrenaline sang Bohemian Rhapsody

RICKY STOP BEING SALTY AND ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

OMG THE SUBTITLES SAID ITS HOWIE SINGING AS THE BEAST I FUCKING CALLED IT

Howie you hoe you gonna break my girl Kourtney's heart

Yeah...still not a fan of Antoine's Dance Remix

Yall know Gina would kill the dance number if she wasn't wearing that fit

Okay but it's Gaston led song WHY DOES EVERYONE BUT EJ HAVE A SOLO IN THIS SONG??

First the Beasts led it (Howie sounded better than Ricky ngl), then the Lumieres (their voices worked hella well together; I always forget what a talented singer Frankie is THEY NEED TO GIVE HIM A SOLO SONG) and now the Belles are going at it (Ashlyn's voice is superior)

BIG RED BEING JEALOUS AND SALTY IS SO FUNNY ITS LIKE A PUPPY BEING ANGRY I CRI

...Did anyone really win, Lily??? STFU

CARLOS IS RIGHT AND HE SHOULD SAY IT

Oooh I did see someone talk about this when the Rose Song dropped last week, apparently its illegal to add songs to a musical you're doing for a school play; I really thought the show would brush past that irl rule but I guess they are playing into it

THE WAY EVERYONE TURNED TO EJ FOR THE SPORTS METAPHOR I AM D Y I N G AND HIS FACE WAS GOLDEN! ITS LIKE THAT LISA SIMPSON MEME SHHSHSH

Okay Nini is being a little pissy about leaving her song out of the show and its a little selfish to wanna keep it at the risk of being disqualified but I also understand why she's hurt

Everyone is dog piling on her right now being against her idea and it feels like they are being against her song and her herself instead of them not wanting to be disqualified. Also like she poured her heart and soul into the song after Miss Jenn lowkey rushed her to write it. So I can see why this feels like a rejection of her and her song and why she's so hurt rather than her seeing the big picture right now

It doesn't help that Ricky said the final blow causing her to walk off

Okay maybe Zackey gets some rights for being chill and wanting the kids to be peers

THIS MOTHERFUCKER I KNEW HE WAS SHADY Also the way I gasped even though I predicted he stole the mask halfway through this ep shshsh

Stab him Miss Jenn STAB HIM

Bitch why you so threatened by East High if yall have such a Broadway-esque show planned??? They honestly should have stuck to the Little Mermaid; I really wanted to see the aquarium

"It's just a song Ricky" "A song can mean everything" Do you get deja vu? Anyone else getting intense flashbacks to Jan when DL first dropped and all the drama happened 👀

YES PLEASE STAY CO ANCHORS Gosh I love them so much esp once you take the romantic connotations out of their interactions

ROUGE GRAND I'M SCREAMING

I love this long take of checking in with everyone's relationship status (still hate how romantically focused this show has become but still a cool shot)

I K N E W IT I WAS RIGHT

Okay but like looking at Kourtney's face I have never wanted to be wrong so bad GOD I HATE IT HERE I really think he likes her and I hope they work it out

Nini setting up her own music acc feels like when Olivia rebranded her whole IG to be just for her music stuff - love this for both of them

AHHHHH SHE'S NINA NOW YALL

I know everyone loves her as Nini but like I have always loved the name Nina and it really suits her to be honest also shows how she's growing up now and kind of leans into the lyric "I won't be confined to your point of view" from The Rose Song because Nini is the nickname Ricky gave her so it shows that she's outgrowing him too and I love that for her!

Overall thoughts; they really crammed all the North High drama into one ep huh. Personally would have liked it if all of this was spread out throughout the last few episodes; like different hijinks for every episode. I'm just a big fan of properly setting up the overall arc over the season instead of patching it together closer to the climax/end of the show. Cos now it lowkey feels like two different seasons - 2A felt like The Rini/Rina Show esp with YAC storyline and whatever was going on with Rina and now 2B is finally feeling like what this season should have been all this time

IT’S BoB LIVEBLOG TIME

Episode 1 is under the cut!

Warning, I swear a lot... and am very in love with RSJ so a lot of this was just me pointing at the screen and screaming RICH and then remembering you can’t see me so writing it down...

Episode 1: Curahee! Curaahhee? Curraahhee? I can’t spell so I’m renaming it Ross is a punk bitch

Buckle up my babies, this will be a carcrash!

00:01 Here we fucking go aw yis

00:11 Aw who’s this? I wish they named the gentlemen at the start of the episodes, I wanna know who is who :s

00:25 Shifty, is that you my angel son?

00:41 OMG you guys… these men are breaking my heart </3

01:06 Lord, men were committing suicide because they couldn’t go to fight? That mentality… man. Oh my God, you angels. Babies.

01:36 No jokes allowed, every man is <3

01:40 Now that I’m humbled and we’re all well and truly miserable…the credits, ugh, my heart. The score is amaziiiing. Some of the footage is actual war-time footage, I read, which is a brilliant touch.

02:01 DICK <3

02:13 DICK’S HUSBAND <3

02:18 RSJ’S NAAAAAME

02:27 JFC this music makes me so emotional. Look there’s Matthew Settle’s face. That makes me emotional too

02:48 Ah it’s Roe <3

03:48 I’m trying to pick them all out in the line-up but I can’t tell who is who. Are we supposed to be able to? There’s a short one in the middle, is that Harry?

03:49 I’m not drunk enough to handle this

04:10 Upottery? Ah it’s so English I love it. That’s not a name! Wtf is up with English place-names, you guys have the weirdest names. Upottery? Seriously? Is it only potters that live there? I’m so confused

04:22 Close up of Roe! Perfect. I approve.

04:32 Is that the guy from Line of Duty? I think it is

04:39 Lip <3

04:44 Ew. GTFO Cobb. He doesn’t even go here

04:47 IS THAT RICH? RICH. ILY. ILY RICH. Please note that 94% of this will be a Rich-watch

04:53 Lieb stop. I am sure you are not a certified hairdresser

04:56 RICH. SMOKING. SMOKING RICH. More like smoking hot do you see what I did there?

05:20 I can categorically say that I love Joe Toye. I do. I love him. But every time I see Kirk Acevedo, all I think of is Charlie my baby from Fringe (awesome show, please watch it). And I just. Charlieee <3

05:39 Aw. They’re so sad

05:55 They’re so despondent. Guys. It’s fine

06:05 Fassy?? FASSY!!

06:18 God Damien is pretty

06:25 Nix that’s not how you flirt

06:57 Lol at Dick noting its happy hour. Thinking about taking Nix on a date, are we? I bet you are. Now THAT is how you flirt!

07:24 OMG the fucking flirting! GUYS. “And give up all this?” NIX SAYS AS HE CHECKS HIM OUT

07:37 Yeah, Nix, you’ll take him ‘to Chicago’ huh? Is that what they call it nowadays.

07:44 Do you want to be that cigarette? ‘Cos there is nothing heterosexual about that lingering look, Dick

08:18 ‘Murica time

08:25 Ross, fuck off. Nice jacket though. “You PEOPLE are at the position of attention” ugh GTFO. Dick’s sideye tho lol

08:52 NGL Ross does a great job at being super unlikeable

09:05 Noooo you don’t want it with Johnny Martin. You wont win. Yeah, walk away Ross

09:15 Careful around Lip too, or Speirs will materialize out of thin air and snap your neck

09:33 RICH. Don’t be scared of that douchebag, baby

09:43 What kind of question is that, there is nothing Lieb wants more!

09:50 It’s weird hearing Ross swear tho

10:26 Don’t argue with Johnny, baby. Also Roe OMG <3 Shane is freaking fit

10:43 Wow Lip is ripped

10:48 Oh no, poor baby. Lip leave him be ☹ </3

11:10 LOL I just noticed the drum by the door. It says ‘butts’ and it took me a seconds to realise it was for cigarettes. I am an adult (31-year-old married woman). I’ll laugh at the word butts if I want.

11:11 RICH

11:18 Lieb omg lol

11:39 RICH BABY NO! FUCK OFF ROSS! LEAVE HIM ALONE OR I WILL HAVE SPEIRS CUT YOU

11:52 I can’t take Ross seriously in those shorts. Hi-ho GTFO

12:07 Ew fuck off running up that, I’d just nope out like nah babe imma go chill with that sweet baby back in the butts cabin

12:18 Aw Dick <3 The juxtaposition of Dick as a leader compared to Sobel who sure he might be honing them into something formidable and skilled but he’s an asshole. He’s not a leader. He’s a bullying, abusive scumbag. Dick is an actual leader who protects them and supports them and encourages them and IHAVEALOTOFFEELINGSOK

12:43 You don’t deserve that sick jacket, Ross. Seriously. That is a boss jacket, I want it

13:04 Have they not stopped fucking working out all this time? Ugh

13:23 Oh good, Dick gets a boss jacket too. He deserves it.

13:30 I wish people had to ask me for permission to speak.

13:53 I just. He. I can’t with Dick Winters, you guys. I cannot. I have lost the ability to can. Like they’re so upset and tired and low and just with that little joke he boosts their morale back up from where Sobel fucking beat it down into the mud and makes everything lighter and they laugh and are less tense and I just. Fucking love you, Dick.

14:00 Is that my angel son? I see you Shifty, love you baby

14:03 RICH. DON’T TOUCH MY RICH.

14:07 Oh my God, address them yourself you weirdo, Ross. They’re right there, you’re right there! I had a colleague that used to do the same, would get me to speak to my employees for her when they were right there in front of her like… ‘can you tell x to do y for me pls…’ … I was like wtf you know you CAN talk to them… you won’t catch poor just by speaking to people lower down the pecking order

14:22 Fassy! Wtf they’re not supposed to drink? Dehydration is legit one of the most dangerous things, how tf can you turn them into high-key supersoldiers if they’re dehydrated? How is this man so dumb? The guy in front of Fassy tho omg. I bet Fassy’s boss wife Alicia Vikander won’t like her husband being treated that way… she’s so badass tho right?

14:26 He’s so dramatic! Ugh

15:11 Piss off omg

15:24 oh my DVD flipped its shit here, only picked back up at 16:30 don’t @ me

16:52 RICH WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOU RICH

17:21 Shifty my angel son

17:46 so sweet

18:04 Sink, babe, no he is the worst, stop

18:20 LOL no, he’s jel as fuck babe

18:32 NO FUN ALLOWED. Im sorry, that tie is so ugly

18:44 Simon Pegg??!!

18:51 Ross is so dramatic God shut up. it’s not a conspiracy, weirdo

19:10 “It’s a can of peaces, sir.” Iconic.

19:11 Dick’s tiny smile is equally iconic.

19:17 SHUT UP ROSS

19:44 He wants to be punched, I think, like he’s goading them. The sick fuck.

20:47 DON’T TRUST HIM, DICK!

21:02 ROE <3

21:31 Hoobler, aw <3

21:37 I warned you not to trust him, boys

21:54 Ah boys, oh no

22:04 RICH. Kick him, baby

22:17 Bull, punch him, seriously

22:24 Oh Luz <3

22:26 Yeah GTFO, suck it, bitch

23:06 Who is this? Fella’s hot

23:40 RICH. FASSY. WEB. TAB.

24:19 Suck it, Ross

24:30 Real footage?

24:41 Lol you suck Ross

25:23 RICH. SMOKING RICH.

25:26 Bill omg

25:45 Perco, baby, no. don’t talk to Johnny Martin. Don’t look at Johnny Martin. Don’t so much as think about Johnny Martin. He will fuck you up with his gaze alone, baby

25:56 Ah Luz

26:06 OK. That’s hot. Joe/Charlie don’t be hot. It confuses me

26:42 Winnix being husbands in the corner

27:42 YOU’RE in the wrong position, dumbass, it’s no one else’s fault

27:46 Dick’s come to save the day

27:56 Ross knows nothing omg

28:05 RICH. Even my Rich is confused, Ross, you dweeb

28:20 Lol at Dick dropping down ready for a fight

28:36 Fassy isn’t happy. That means Alicia Vikander is coming for you. Joe/Charlie is definitely not happy. Lip is upset. Think about your life, Ross, think about your choices. You know you’ve failed when Roe is judging you

28:57 Nix is like lol where tf is the alcohol tho

28:59 Harry! Harry is here! But yes, baby, you’re interrupting the husband’s foreplay, leave immediately

30:00 Lol at the Nix vs Ross staredown. Nix won

30:17 RICH. GUYS IT’S RICH

30:33 Do it, Lieb. Drop the grenade. Just don’t upset my angel son Shifty

30:40 He is a literal angel. Don’t corrupt him Lieb

30:59 Nix is having another crack at flirting. “Going my way” so suave omg. Omg stop. No wait don’t

31:09 “I’m not the intelligence officer.” Neither is Nix half the time babe let’s be fair

31:14 “If I told you I’d have to kill you.” Nix is getting better at flirting! He’s been attending flirting 101 classes it seems

31:40 They’re legit such husbands prove me wrong

32:00 He’s not joking, Dick

32:06 Harry’s like oh yay yes please

32:11 Lol Nix

33:03 Ugh. Men. I feel like that hold smells so bad.

33:09 RICH. Naw, Rich is sad he’s missing out on the flamingos.

33:32 Joe/Charlie you deserve a day to commemorate you tbh. I love you.

33:46 “My brother’s in North Africa, he says it’s hot.” Bill is iconic.

34:34 Lieb, honey, don’t, please

34:49 I feel you, random hot guy. Tipper?

35:05 Eyyy this place is nice, let’s all move there.

35:17 Shifty, my angel son, my baby <3

35:26 Yay, Harry gets a boss jacket too!

36:22 Mum and Dad of Easy. I’m low-key living for Lip’s little worried faces.

36:33 THAT JACKET IS SICK AS FUCK I WANT 20

36:38 The fence is there, Ross, because you’re so fucking dumb

36:51 Guys, look, cows

37:06 He’s fucking useless. Hi Simon Pegg.

37:22 RICH

37:25 This whole scene gives me life and waters my crop

37:31 RICH <3. YOU GUYS. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. RICH RICH RICCCCHHHH

37:42 Poor Tip is so done

37:58 Simon Pegg is so confused

38:04 Good job, Tipper, I’m proud of you and your pretty face

38:10 Iconic

38:15 Keep it together Tip

38:54 The hand signals, no, I’d be like BABY. WHAT. I CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU WTF. I’d last like a millisecond in the military lmao. Does my country even have one? Tbh probably not. Us Kiwis are too chill, cbf’ed with anything. Too busy watching rugby, drinking, and sulking that we can’t afford houses cos our housing market is fucked. But at least we beat Covid *shrugs*

39:06 ILY, old guy. You are the best thing in this episode, aside from Rich

39:22 But wait, there’s more weird Americans hopping out yo’ bushes

39:26 “Bloody hell!” Mood

39:47 “You’ve done it now, yanks, you’ve captured me!” He is such a mood. I love him.

39:54 FUCK OFF ROSS. “Would that be the enemy?” “As a matter of fact, yes.” DICK IS SO VALID I LOVE HIM THIS IS ICONIC.

40:25 Be free, moo-cows

40:40 LAMO GET WRECKED

41:00 Guys imma be straight with you. I’m on my third whiskey lmao.

41:10 Simon Pegg, please refrain from being a douchebag. Leave Dick and his husband to flirt in peace.

41:23 I love how Nix is like instantly suspicious. He knows.

41:39 Worried husband

41:45 “Misspelled court-marital.” Iconic

42:14 Ross, why you lying? So threatened and jel that you gotta lie omg.

42:50 God Damien is freaking hot. Guys.

42:57 Punk bitch Ross.

43:22 Dick is so BDE. It’s fucking hot.

43:30 Ross is shooketh tbh. Punk bitch.

43:36 AH! IT IS HIM! THE GUY FROM LINE OF DUTY S5!

43:50 That underbite must have hurt FJH a lot omg so committed.

44:02 Hey Lip <3

44:09 Johnny Martin has absolute BDE

44:22 God they’re willing to be killed just to not follow Ross. Same tbh.

44:57 This whole scene is BDE.

46:00 But Sink has the most BDE let’s be honest

46:44 The respect for Dick. Even after what they just went through. I AM EMOTIONAL.

46:58 He’s so worried like omg what have my troublesome sons done now

47:09 ROSS WHY YOU ALWAYS LYING??

48:09 Weak

48:24 Yeah, fuck off back to ‘Murica

48:34 Legit, can we acknowledge Ross did a great job (the actor). Really really well done, one of the best performances on the series tbh.

49:48 LMAO GET WRECKED PUNK BITCH

50:06 Dick just wanders about a lot on his own, huh?

50:50 What? What? I understand nothing of what the cockney guy is saying.

50:55 Me too, Hoob, the fuck.

51:00 RICH I SAW YOU

52:19 “Never put yourself in a position where you can take from these men.” Don’t omg I can’t, Dick, I’m weak, I can’t deal with these fucking feelings.

52:36 DAFUQ

52:40 OHHHH I get it. Right. Dick, you’re so smart. It’s a little sad they have to do all that just to get some answers and guidance but tbh it’s probably fair? Gotta be top secret so punk bitches like Ross can’t screw things up.

53:30 Hey Nix. Speak French to me any day.

53:48 Unf.

54:08 LMAO Lieb, how many cigarettes do you need!

54:10 NGL I paused here for a little while.

55:05 We could ALL use some brass knuckles, Joe/Charlie. Mood.

55:25 LOL Lieb is so nosy.

56:15 Oh no

57:00 Luz LMAO

57:10 Oh babies

57:13 Bill LMAO that’s not ice cream, yuck it looks like soup

57:28 God. All that effort. Not just logistically but emotionally, mentally, psychologically, to prepare, just to have it put off. Fuck.

57:38 That movie again. Poor boys.

57:47 That’s actually a really smart move, Johnny.

58:41 Oh no. I would lose it completely. Oh Bill </3

59:11 Naw, Dick dawdling around again

59:49 RICH I SEE YOU

1:00:08 AAAHHHH IT’S TOO CONFRONTING DON’T

1:00:48 NOOO I CAN’T aw Bill

1:01:09 Naww

1:01:16 RIIIIICH

1:01:20 It’s like they’re kiddies on a field trip and Dick is the teacher wrangling them lol

1:01:47 Lol their crap is so heavy Dick has to help pull them up. That’s actually really sweet.

1:01:51 I wish I could hold Rich’s hand

1:02:08 Oh God. I can’t. Like he’s helping them up BUT IT’S ALSO HIS WAY OF SAYING GOOD LUCK AND GOODBYE AND HAVING LIKE A MOMENT TO CONNECT WITH EACH OF THEM I CAN’T LIKE THE EYE CONTACT NO DICK STOP

1:02:19 LMAO at them having to shove each other into the plane

1:02:23 That look between him and Roe. Ugh. Like. You two gotta take care of your boys together. Brotp

1:03:22 Can someone explain the block on that guy’s helmet to me?

1:03:55 I’m sad. And scared. This series is so confronting. I’ve watched in annually since I was like 16 and I’m still so nervous for them.

1:05:37 Rich, I see you! I recognized his chin lmao

1:06:16 God, Dick be careful

1:10:00 This show. The feels. Every time.

So, I tried to calculate Control...

... and its Epic Games deal, with the help of my certified smooth brain™ and probably incorrect sources. I started this last night hella tired and with a headache, I have finished it up today hella tired and with a headache, and this is what I produced: bullshit! :D But hey, at least double checked bullshit that’s open for discussion and contribution and expansion. Also, I probably won’t list the sources because a) I’m lazy and b) I didn’t have to dig thaaat deep down to find all this so if you really wanna know you could probably hit google with it as well. Anyhow here we go lol So, the initial thought which got all of this rolling was the 2020-wrap-up-post Remedy linked on their twitter, and Epic’s linked publishing announcement in it: studios Remedy, Playdead and GenDesign will release their next next-gen games with Epic. Now, we all know Remedy are working on some sort of Alan Wake-ish thing as we speak (right? right?? god I hope so), which meanssss our boy will most likely be an Epic exclusive. Which makes me kinda sad because, well. I’m deep in Steam’s ass. Hell, I waited for Control for a full year before I played it because they can pry the Steam version from my cold dead hands. So I asked myself... was it worth it for them? How much money did they throw at Remedy (and 505 Games) to have them play along? Would they have reached more people from the get-go if they had released it on Steam right away? Did the individual programmer, designer, writer, artist, person behind it profit from this at all? (Also, like, about the rights and copyright thing,,,,, you’d think they could have learned from Alan Wake and its IP belonging to Microsoft and so not really being able to do anything more with it because they don’t ‘own’ it and shit) buuut anyway that’s not the point of this post, now it’s time to do some MATH BABEY

Ok, let’s start with some things we know. Facts. Figures. Data. Turns out my initial question, how much money was involved, could be answered by doing one (1) google search: according to Wikipedia, Epic gave Remedy and 505 Games €9.49mio. The total budget for the game was €26.9mio over the course of 3 years of development. We know that as of December 2020, over 2mio copies of the game were sold, with November 2020 being the best-selling month ever since its initial release in August 2019. This is where question 1) comes into play: how many of those 2 million copies were sold in 2019 and how many in 2020? Stay tuned, I think I found out.

We know that Remedy gets to keep 45% of the revenue, which, I assumed, means that 505 keeps the remaining 55% (probably a lot more going on there but shhh). We know that Control’s sales cooked up €17.84mio in 2019 (so months September – December), €17.7mio of those in the first month alone (O.O). Side note: because it came out at the very end of August, I’ll ignore that month and declare September the first sales month.

We know that 60% of sales in 2019 were digital ones (aka Epic Store, mostly), 40% physical ones (consoles PS4 and XB1), while in 2020, only 10% of sales were physical and a whopping 90% digital; which is people on Epic who wanted to get their hands on the first DLC and – you guessed it – the Steam release of the Ultimate Edition in August 2020.

Which begs question 2): what’s bigger, 60% of 2019 sales because ‘ooh shiny new game’, or 90% of 2020 sales because ‘yay steam release’? The answer may look obvious, but you have to take into account the dropping price, which I also researched for your pleasure and enjoyment.

For this I used a German website called idealo.de, which focuses on looking for the best deals for basically anything you can buy on the internet, and it also gives you diagrams that describe at which point in time the product was at which exact price. This is what it gave me: - release price: €60 - December 2019: €41 (PS4)/€44 (XB1) - mid-2020: €30 - Ultimate Edition release: €30 - December 2020: €14 (PS4)/€18 (XB1)/€30 (Ultimate Editions) At this point I was like “lol hold on i need chocolate for this cuz i’ll be here for some time *sweating*”

To continue this mess™, I see more questions: 3) How many employees does Remedy have, which positions do they work in and what are their salaries? 4) How many employees does 505 have, which positions and salaries do they have? 5) What’s the total revenue that Control has generated so far?

And also some more stuff like, are my numbers accurate, am I even grasping these concepts correctly, are there even more people involved or am I just trying to explain complete crap (yes) but let’s just ignore all of that shall we. At that point I went “oh shit what have i gotten myself into, this screen does not get my point across, i need pen and paper” and you know shit is gonna go DOWN when I do math on paper.

My paper math birthed the following calculation:

Following this up, we can calculate the end-of-2019 sales, if we set the price for September and October to €60, for November and December to approx. €45:

Now, you might notice that one of those numbers is big and the other is HUGE. Why might that be? Well...

- Covid19: everyone stayed at home and needed video games to play - More sale months of the year, naturally - dropping price: why get it for €60 when you can get it for 20 - Ultimate Edition: why buy it in June when you get more content in August aaaand... - it comes out on Steam.

With this in mind, let’s see what questions we can answer: 1) 661,110 copies in 2019; 1,338,889 copies in 2020 2) 60% digital sales in 2019 means 396,666 Epic copies; 90% digital sales in 2020 means 1,205,000 copies – most of it from Steam? Some of it? A good chunk? The bigger chunk? There’s no way of really knowing for sure but... you could read this into it. I definitely am. 3) Google told me Remedy had a little over 250 employees at the end of 2019... 4) ... and 505 has less than 100. I found no good sources for this, I think linkedin said 37, someone else said 50. I’ll just use the 50 figure, idk. No idea man. and for 5) I’ll contradict my point that the Steam release is what knocked the sales out of the park and assume that the number of sold copies stayed the same across all 12 months of 2020, which gives us this:

Ok and now we’re getting into the most dangerous of danger zones because I have no idea how companies or capitalism work, so for educated people™, the remaining calculations might read like a toddler wrote them; I apologize profusely and hereby present last night’s brain vomit:

As stated earlier, development took 3 years, but everyone wanted to get paid in 2020 as well so let’s use 4 years to find out the salaries, which is 48 months. Let’s assume the utopian idea that every employee on the line here gets the exact same amount of money (LOL ikr but shhhh, let’s live out our dirtiest equality fantasies for a second ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)). Which would mean...

And now without the Epic Deal™:

Quod erat demonstrandum. Remedy has been selling their souls to Epic for €350 a month since 2017. (I don’t mean this as maliciously as I’m making it sound, don’t worry xD)

OKAY SO, O B V I O U S L Y, I have not the slightest idea what on earth I’m talking about so read this like you’d read a good fanfiction. We don’t know the different salaries across the different positions (and genders HAH), we don’t know if other parties were involved, I’ve completely ignored the sum that Epic themselves get, I have ignored taxes, I don’t know if my numbers are accurate (they’re definitely not I mean 505 must have more employees than 50), if I made mistakes (yes), and also somewhere along the way I forgot to use the €26.9mio budget figure because, uuh, I have no idea where to use it, what it means, where did it come from, where did it go, cotton eye joe - but oh well, I’m not starting over, take it or leave it.

So... I can now officially say I have written hot steamy economics fic xD Man I put waaay too much time into this but damn was it fun. Good three-hour-deep-dive (two of them spent munching on chocolate half-asleep listening to psytrance to keep my brain twitchy). Real-life-theorizing. Fuck capitalism. Don’t do drugs. Pet a cat. Wear your mask. Call your grandparents.

If there’s typos in this I’m sorry but also I’m not, I can’t be bothered to proofread again lol. Goodnight imma catch up on the sleep I lost. Gotta love full moons

INSPIRED BY ELAINE

I think it's time, we confronted the situation in front of us

And I think it's time we talk it out and forget all the fuss

And it is not me.. There just isn't an us no more like Bible class

Our time is up, like sand falling thru an hour glass, in an hour class

You always say you have no clue but surely eNCA, know more

You mad at me, the silent treatment and you call it normal

You're bad for me, I was ur biggest fan - u such a baddie

You're bad to me, I'm your only fan, love it when u call me daddy

I'm sad for you, you hid your "Onlyfans" from me, you dirty

I'm thirsty, right now you looking all sexy, girly, flirty, all nerdy

You're needy, greedy, full of pity, always eating, mouth fully meaty, too demanding, nasty lazy, bitch u crazy

I'm giving, forgiving, plain loving, still thirsty but dripping in sauce

You're tripping, I flick my wrist then flick the bean (BDSM)

You're dribbing, my dick be crippling

You be stroking my penis, asking what my pin is

Bust a nut, wipe a continent from your chest

Yeah, that's what pain is

And then I knew you're not the One

Coz you were never the only one

I don't give out many chances, you get just the one

Party on campus, ur too antisocial, never my plus one

Plus size model, thick mama, BBW, voloptuous, ur curvatious

Luv ur onion booty, it makes me cry & it's more than 1 layer

Yeah im full of games, bstill no player

Dinner for 2, right b4 I eat u up, say my prayer

Bad dream, devils hour, I wake, u staring like, Heya! That's creepy

Okay lemme be real with u, it ain't your fault

I just couldn't be real around you, I couldn't be myself

I was losing myself tryinna please U

My face was your chair, no please U.. I can't breathe

I need air, u don't care, I pull ur hair, that's not fair

Face clean, no make up, take teddy bear, then make up sex

We're role playing, you're now Claire, Blair or Nonhle

Shared my, heart and love with u

I ain't mad at u, we don't c I2I

U & I was both invested, we tested

All that loud in the air, sippin wine we wasted

Danced all night then rested

My place or yours instead

Always kept you interested, kept me well fed

It's lessons learned not time wasted

Why you making me choose between you & the booze

I know you hate how I'm hung like a moose

Getting your creative juices flowing, like your muse

Misuse my tongue, amuse ur lower lips, abuse your sleep

Team nocturnal, feeling your intestine with my external

Loving you all night and day, feels eternal

I'm sorry but I'm not ready for anal

But that pussy imma turn into a canal

You dislike my love/hate relationship with social media

I bring a home cooked meal but all you do is take away

I mean it's healthier and bonus it makes financial sense

Lemme keep my 2 cents, common sense ain't common

That's nonsense, why you so tense? We don't make sense

I still sense your anger from when I tried to fvck ur friend

Then my close friend who's my best friends girlfriend

Yeah, I fvcked up, I own up, let's roll up

That's not tea in my cup, let's go up

Talk at the roof top, "nigga just grow up"

You're yelling, screaming, bout to blow up

I'm cocky, saying shit like I was your glow up

"Hol'up, nigga please just shut the fvck up

You always say you coming but never show up"

"You're right, I'm sorry I left you sick to go drink

I felt like I was drowning until my sorrows' lungs were filled with H2O

Made it up 2 u tho, made you cum 6 times..no? 7 I think, who's counting

You a liability, I'm an asset... I mean it's just accounting

You lack reliability, for your mistakes ur never accounting

You hate my ability to feel everything and still be wholesome

Coz you just wanna feel good all the time

But my feelings be fluctuating, I just won't be faking

Stop tolerating the neglect Im getting

Get liquid with it

Happiness is the yin and sadness is the yang

Sometimes I drink gin, only when I'm with my gang

There's a burn hole on my jean, maybe a ciggie, or dank

But now I get bank, I want no skank that smoke skunk

Has that sank? Yeah I know, I'm a think tank, tick

Talk all you want, but keep it short like tik-tok

Tic toc, times up, take tsek.. tic tac 4 your bad breath

2 these beats I bring death, yeah I take life, no bring back

Break dance & break back, ahead of you like 3 laps

Brick dance coz my money grows while I nap nap

Hahaha gimme 3 claps coz my puns still slap

I'm real black, I'm bout to snap at all this crap

These niggaz decided to call rap

Lame rappers, listen up, sit down and don't talk back

Don't turn no other cheek, clap back or get ur wolf pack

Crack back, don't fight niggaz that look lyk they fap-fap

Or smoke crack crack, with eyes doing a criss cross

Came across many rappers that steal rap lines or rap names like Rick Ross to get their point across

Gamble with your life & hit crap

Lost your wife on my Whatsapp, there's that!

She pole dance in my DM's, she excels

She got a flat tummy till she exhales, but sex sells

She call me Haploid, like sex cells

She's cold like may weather, F Lloyd!

I'm a Record breaker, planet shaker, Constant risk taker

Ask the chain breaker how I stay shining 

He'll answer, I stay grinding, on God!

I'm not a smile faker, just a soul snatcher in the fast lane

Wubba lubba dub dub, Rick and Morty

Life and death drive, ask Freud or Boyd

Leading a wild life like Varty, bitter sweet like chutney

I'm bored, so we party in my bed, my bad, honey!

Ass-ass-ass, she clap ass 3 times before 4(play)

Nurse-nurse-nurse, I slap ass tats when we role playin

Looking all photogenic, oops a nip slip on tape

Phat ass on my iOS, like real life

Ass flat on android, that's what they look like

No steroids, my dick big don't nje just

She look at my shoe size and run away at 1st chance

I'm an asteroid not space dust, she came fast

Then I came too, at last, she said out loud

I'm heartless at first glance, til I made her soul dance

Think fast, mouth 2 mouth ur low lips, I'm a medic

Nudes is explicit, is you a nymph or manic?

Nymphomaniac please don't panic

Your style so sick, bout to start a pandemic

We'll playback with your jeans off, relay... ground rules

No replay or pause only gonna press play once

No safewords, whatever works works, word!

Girl you a baddie, and a Pedi, go spoil yourself

Get a mani &a pedi

Dick in mouth, still out spoken, can't put words in mouth

U said I'm a keeper

Silver spoon in her mouth but I still feed her

Feel her up then fill her up, I eat her up

I feed her jollof right before I pipe her, I like her

Never gonna wife her, don't really love her

She's rude like something' crawled up her...

Foul mouth like up yours!

I know around your feelings I should tip toe

It's unfortunate coz I don't tip Joe's (askies jo)

Like excuse me waiter where should I dip those fries, french

Kiss hoes toes, mxwa, Zulu man with a foot fetish, tip toe

Articulate the truth, use tactics lyk rotten tomatoes on bad movies

I'm not perfect, I pose a threat even if a picture's moving

I'm booming, you're blooming... I'm nice nice, ur gloomy

I'm grooming u, like your cult leader

Avid reader, your soul feeder, I'm no people pleaser

I need a lady thats rooted in love and still rooting for me

Unconditional love lyk the kind that died on the cross 4 me

Is that you? No? Then miss me Miss, think I'm gonn miss ya!

Coz now it's

A goodbye to you, I'm thru witchu, it's true I confess

Wish you nothing but the best

Somebody to love you, put you first for the rest of

All the days to come, to you I

Remain a good friend, no benefits just perks

Straight facts, ex lover with strange quirks... You

Are

The

One... Who will be the godmother to my heir

So if I die, you'll raise HIM or raise HER

Erase Her memory of me if it's too painful to hold on to

Make sure he's playful, careful  and joyful too

U'll be a good mom, ur delightful unlyk most step mothers

You're a good teacher that's patient but always on time

You'll know what to do if ever my daughter runs late

Scratch that, you'll be a great mother, that's fate

Becoz you're a leader, not deceitful like some bad fathers

Hand in Glove - Chapter 21 | Ben Hardy x OFC

A/N: I know y’all probs forgot about this, but I haven’t. Life has just been kicking my ASS relentlessly, but I decided to kick its’ ass back and here we fucking are. Took me about 4 months to finish, but it is what is it. Also, I am a bottle of wine and a half down and not sure how this is going to end up, but let’s pray to the gods that Tumblr ain’t gonna fuck shit up. Dropping mic now. 

Chapter 1, Chapter 2,  Chapter 3,  Chapter 4,  Chapter 5,  Chapter 6,  Chapter 7,  Chapter 8,  Chapter 9,  Chapter 10,  Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14 , Chapter 15 , Chapter 16 , Chapter 17 , Chapter 18 , Chapter 19 , Chapter 20 

Word Count: ~fucktonK. Don’t judge me. 

Warnings: the usual? idk. Ben gets quite frisky, I’ll tell you that much. Also not sure how much of this was beta’d or proofread so fucking forgive me father if I have sinned.

The shrill sound of the alarm and Ben's low, gravelly swearing snapped Annie back to reality. Her eyes fluttered open in the soft light of dawn. She fumbled for her phone on the nightstand to shut the alarm off and look through her notifications. Ben stirred behind her, snuggling as close to her as he possibly could.

"Mornin'..." he murmured and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

"Go back to sleep, Benny." Annie smiled when he pulled her in and engulfed her in his embrace. "It's too early."

"Frankie needs a walk." Ben yawned. "And you need breakfast."

"I can do both of those on my own."

"You can," Ben nipped at the curve of her neck, "but I won't let you."

The bedroom door edged open, revealing the tip of a snout poking through. A soft whine alerted Ben and Annie that Frankie had heard the two "magic words" Ben had just said - "Frankie" and "Walk" - and was making her presence known. Ben clicked his tongue three times and Frankie came scrambling onto the bed, her entire body swinging from side to side as her tail wagged. She dove right in to Annie's face, licking and whimpering excitedly.

"Oh God!" Annie shook her head from side to side, trying to escape the assault. Frankie had other plans. With a paw on Annie's shoulder, she tugged at her until she was flat on her back and climbed onto Annie's chest, pinning her down. "No! Stop!"

"Franks, I was actually hoping to be the one to give mum a morning snog..." he grabbed the dog and kissed her nose, earning a few licks for himself. "Aw."

Annie seized the opportunity to sit up and stretch her arms high over her head. She slouched down with a slow exhale and gave Frankie a rub behind her ears. Out of the corner of her eyes, she spotted Ben's Suitcase and duffel bag. She sighed and stood up, scratching her cheek as she marched over to the ensuite bathroom and flicked the light on.

"All done packing?" She asked as she examined her sleepy form in the mirror.

"Mhm." Ben shuffled behind her, pulling his sweats up over his hips. "I know, I'm a freak for doing it a week ahead of time."

"You're a freak for a whole myriad of reasons, Mr. Jones." Annie rolled her eyes and chuckled as she squeezed toothpaste onto her brush and then turned to Ben, who waited patiently with his toothbrush in his outstretched hand, nonverbally asking her to please put some toothpaste on his brush, too. "So you're that desperate to leave, huh?"

"On the contrary, my love." He winked at her and squeezed her bum before brushing his teeth.

Annie shook her head with a smile and leaned into his arm, resting her head against it. When they both felt their mouths were foamy enough, they took turns rinsing. Ben decided to finish this morning's ritual with a searing kiss.

"I plan on spending every waking moment that I have left with my girls." He mumbled against her lips before pulling away and walking to the toilet. Lifting the toilet seat up, he pulled his sweats down to his thighs.

"Seriously?"

"What?"

"You're taking a piss when I'm right here?"

"Love, I've watched you give birth." Ben smirked. "Peeing is not half as nasty as that."

"Do you want me to watch you pee, Benny?" Annie smirked back, crossing her arms tauntingly. "Is that a sex thing?"

"Want you to?" Ben pretended to mull it over. "Nah. But if you want to hold it for me..."

"Freak." Annie scoffed and walked out of the bathroom.

"So no?" He called after her.

###

If there’s one thing Annie hated, it was not knowing where time went. One minute she’s shoveling eggs in her mouth in a hurry to leave for work, the next she’s got a baby attached to her boob again and it’s night outside. Annie walked into the bedroom, groggily rubbing her eyes after feeding Rory in the middle of the night. A full moon illuminated Ben, laying sprawled across her side of the bed.

"You stole my spot!" Annie huffed and collapsed onto Ben's side of the mattress.

Ben's arms quickly snaked around Annie and pulled her to him, squeezing her as close as he could to his body. He tucked her head under his chin and mumbled incoherently, wrapping a leg around her as well. Locking her in.

"Ben, I need air!" Annie squeaked against his chest and tickled his sides in a futile attempt to make him move.

"Shh." Ben pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "S'night time. No talking. Just sleeping."

"But oxygen!"

"No," Ben grunted and rolled over, right on top of Annie, careful not to put all of his weight on her. "Imma Human blanket now."

"Hey!" Annie flailed under him before giving up and relaxing, letting his body squish her into the soft bed. "Fine."

"Good girl."

###

Ben sat with Rory on his lap, both looking at the phone with goofy smiles on their faces. He'd just gotten the notification that Annie's series had posted a new story to the Instagram page, followed by a text message that simply said "show Rory".

The story was a boomerang of Annie in full costume, blowing a kiss at the camera lens. The next story was another boomerang, this time of Annie doing 'finger guns' and winking at the camera with her lopsided grin. Rory tried to grab the phone out of Ben's hands, babbling happily.

"So much for daddy-daughter time..." Ben murmured against Rory's soft tufts of blonde curly hair.

While he'd usually spend his day with Rory on Annie's set or with his mates, Ben decided that he needed some alone time with his baby. His departure was mere days away. Although on the outside he was his usual self, internally, he wasn't handling this too well. He knew Annie could sense that and he appreciated her efforts in trying to play it down and pretend everything's alright.

With a sigh, Ben turned the screen off and chucked his phone aside, much to Rory's dismay. She tried to crawl off his lap in pursuit of the device, but was captured and tickled by her father. Ben gently tossed Rory in the air, smacking a kiss to her cheek every time he caught her.

"You know what?" He cooed at Rory, who clawed at his face with her fingers. "We're going on an adventure! You wanna go see uncle Joey and uncle Gwil?"

At the mention of Joe and Gwil's name, Rory squealed. It was so high pitched, Ben couldn't help but blink in awe.

"Did Roger teach you how to do that?"

###

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm absolutely devastated." Joe lamented. "The mere fact that we only have a few days left is just -"

"I was asking Ben." Gwil rolled his eyes, interrupting Joe's rant.

"I'm fine." Ben shrugged and took a sip from his beer. Rory and Frankie played on the floor at Gwil's flat. "Gwil you have to duck, okay? You'll ruin the fort."

"Who's idea was this, again?" Gwil groaned, adjusting the corner of yet another blanket he managed to mess up. "Also, why are we in the fort?"

"If you're going to be grouchy, you can leave the fort, Mr. Lee." Joe stuck his tongue out at the tall man. "No grouchy people allowed."

"I'm not grouchy." Gwil retorted. "Plus, this is my flat, meaning that this is my fort, so I make the rules."

"You do realize that Rory is the actual baby here, yeah?" Ben raised an eyebrow.

###

"How are you feeling?" Mike asked between bites of ravioli during lunch break. "Jonesy all packed?"

"Mhm." Annie sighed and pushed the food around on her plate. "Got his passport extended today, too. Took Rory with him."

"Seriously?" Clara snorted. "He's taking her everywhere?"

"Yep."

"It's sickening." Jamie chimed in. "It's like they're siamese twins."

"Aw," Mikey drawled. "Bet he's gonna miss her terribly!"

"Do you think she'll even notice?" Jamie mused. "She's, what, five months old now? She just figured out she's got hands. She'll be fine."

"She loves her daddy." Annie poked Jamie in his side. "She figured her hands out two months ago, you knob."

"Could've fooled me," Jamie muttered.

"Don't be ridiculous, James." Mike pointed at his co-star with his fork. "She's going to daycare, she'll only see her mama in the early mornings and evenings. She'll notice there's an entire human missing."

"She'll have her uncles and aunties to keep her distracted." Clara winked. "Lucy and I already planned a whole Girls' Day."

"Um?"

"What?" Clara blinked innocently at her best friend.

"Why wasn't I invited?"

"Because you have more work than I do." Clara shrugged. "Gonna do it on my day off, Banana."

"Well, it's just you, Rory and Lucy, then?"

"Well," Clara looked at her plate sheepishly. "And Joe. And Rami. And Gwilym."

"What the actual fuck, huh?" Annie threw her fork down and huffed.

"Hey, you'll get to hang out with these two delicious chunks of mankind all day!" Clara smirked.

"Clearly, the superior chunks of mankind, mind you..." Jamie added, tongue-in-cheek. "We haven't had "us" time in forever, Banana."

"Don't you Banana me!" Annie hissed and turned to look at Jamie. He flashed her his best puppy dog eyes. "Oh, not the face."

"What face?" He feigned innocence.

"You know what face. Don't do the face."

"What," Mikey sighed, mimicking  Jamie's expression. "Don't you want to hang out with your own brother and husband?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

###

The next day was an entire mess. It started off well enough for everyone involved, really. It’s during the afternoon when things took a really, really bad turn. Ben tried to contain himself while Rory was napping, but his mind was racing. It was a chill day with "the band", as they now liked to refer to themselves.

None of them gave a second thought to the familiar sound of a notification rang through the living room. Then, it was dead silent for what felt like an eternity.

"Well, then!" Rami was the first one to break the silence, turning his screen off and tossing his phone on the coffee table. "Anyone see any good shows lately?"

"Ben? Buddy?" Joe shook Ben by the shoulder. "Dude, you haven't blinked in an hour."

Ben stared into space, his thoughts running wild. It was just a silly, candid, behind-the-scenes picture. Nothing more. However, he couldn't help the bubbling rage. There she was. His girlfriend, snuggled up to her ex-boyfriend turned reconciled-best friend. Her head resting on his chest, tucked under Jamie's chin. Her arm flung around his waist, his arms holding her close. One hand laced through her long hair. They looked so peaceful.

Ben knew how hard they worked. How tired Annie was all the time. How early she got up and how late she came home, trying to get as much work done while Ben was still around to be with Rory. He'd visit the set often, only to find her catching a snooze in her trailer. Stifling yawns between takes.

Yet he couldn't help but feel jealous. There was something beautiful and serene about the picture, especially when both Annie and Jamie were in full costume. The caption was what got to him most - "marital bliss".

"Mate, it's a picture." Gwilym brought Ben back to earth, cutting off his train of thought. "God knows, Clara had her pictures taken snuggled up to just about anything and anyone."

"Marital bliss?!" Ben sneered. "Marital fucking bliss?!"

"They're in costume!" Gwil retorted. "Those aren't Jamie and Annie. Those are Henry and Anne."

"That's Annie." Ben pointed at the screen. "That's how we always fall asleep."

"You're reading too much into this." Rami quipped. "Jamie isn't a threat to you."

"I'm going to be a continent away, while this arse is just lurking around..."

"He's engaged." Rami reminded him.

"It’s a bloody farce of a PR stunt and you know it just as well as I do. It's a sham."

"Why are you so riled up?" Rami's eyes squinted in confusion. "It's a stupid picture. They look pretty in it. End of story."

###

When Annie arrived later that night, Rory was fast asleep and Ben was losing his mind - slamming drawers and cupboards shut in the kitchen, cursing under his breath. He didn't even hear Annie come in.

Annie got a heads-up from Joe earlier that evening, letting her know that Ben had seen the Instagram picture. "He's definitely, 100%, not okay. Brace yourself."

"You alright?"

Ben's eyes shot up and looked at her. He wasn't just angry - he was positively fuming. Annie squared her shoulders, prepared for impact.

"I'm going out for a run." Ben muttered and walked right past her.

Annie followed him to the door, her arms crossed. Her brows knotted, she tried to figure out what to say. It was almost midnight. Ben never pulled an "Annie" before. He never walked out on an argument.

Before Annie could form a coherent sentence, Ben was out the door. She heard him stomping down the walkway, opening the gate. A shrill ringing startled her - he left his phone behind.

Annie took a deep breath and climbed up the stairs to check on Rory. After rubbing Rory's back gently and tucking her in, Annie went about tidying up. She picked up toys - baby's and dog's - and random articles of clothing. She straightened the sheets, organized the mail, stacked the coasters neatly. Anxiously waiting to hear the front door open again.

When it did, Ben walked right up the stairs without giving Annie an acknowledging nod of his head. She was prepared for an onslaught of accusations, but none came. Feeling perplexed, she absently followed him, wishing her stalking presence was enough to make him turn around to look at her.

It wasn’t. Taking his sweaty clothes off, he tossed them in the hamper and went in the shower, leaving the door open. Ignoring Annie's existence all together. Her guilt - not that she really knew why she should feel guilty - was quickly replaced with seething anger.

She stomped into the bathroom, stopping right in front of the glass shower doors. She glared at Ben, her hands on her hips. He started whistling and turned his back to her as he washed himself, suds forming on his skin. This wasn't just a cold shoulder. This was a butt-naked, frigid silent treatment.

"Are you joking?" Her voice bounced off the tiles. "Is this a bloody joke?"

"Had a good nap?" Ben snarled, still not facing her. "Looked refreshing."

"It was, actually." Annie raised a challenging eyebrow. "Woke up feeling recharged."

"Oh, yeah?" Ben turned the water off shook his hair. "Glad to hear."

"You're unbelievable." Annie scoffed as Ben reached for his towel and wrapped it around his hips. "How dare you?"

"How dare I?" Ben's eyebrows were so far up, they almost merged with his hairline. "I'm not the one snuggling my ex!"

"I also snuggled Clara!" Annie hissed. "Let me know when your little hissy fit is over, okay, love?"

"Fuck you, Annabelle." Ben loomed over her, his green eyes boring holes into her very soul. "This isn't a hissy fit."

"What is it, then?"

"I'm leaving, Annie. Leaving. In two days." Ben pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "For months."

"I'm aware." Annie said through gritted teeth. "You're also coming back."

"Will I have something to come back to?" Ben opened his eyes. "You've already replaced me as your sleep-aid..."

"Have you gone absolutely bonkers, Ben Jones?" Annie barked out a laugh. "What are you on about?"

"I'm fucking scared, alright?" Ben hissed.

"Of what?!"

"You!"

"Me?" Annie's eyes were wide. "You're scared of me?"

"Annie, I'll be gone. You'll be fair game."

"I'm not some deer you can hunt!"

"I won't be here to protect -"

"Protect me?" Annie laughed, cutting him off. "From what? The Big Bad Wolf? Jamie?"

"Well, thanks for mocking me." Ben brushed past her, bumping his shoulder with her. "Real mature."

"Ben, you're throwing a fit over nothing!" Annie followed close behind him. Ben unwrapped the towel from his hips and dried off his torso. "I'm not mocking you!"

"We've been going through every aspect of me leaving." Ben chucked the towel to the floor. "What to do with Rory, what to do with Franks, when I'll be back for a visit..."

"I know." Annie sat down on the bed. "We've got this. We're prepared."

"Every aspect except our own bloody relationship. And all this time, you've been so calm about this!" Ben grabbed his head as he sat down next to her. "You've gone on a few benders, yeah, but even then - you were so calm."

"What?"

"Annie, I'm going crazy over this. I'm devastated. Freaking out. I don't want to leave." Ben laid back. "And you? You're acting like everything's fine. Having cuddles with your ex. Looking like…” Ben sighed and balled his hands into fists. “Do you even care that I'm going away?"

Annie took a shaky breath and shook her head, running a hand through her hair.

"You'll have Joe, Gwil, Rami, Clara, Lucy, Mike..." Ben rubbed at his eyes. "Jamie. I'll have no one."

"You know they'll leave for the press tour soon."

"Yes, which I'll miss out on." Ben chuckled bitterly. "You'll still have your own mates with you."

"You'll make new friends."

"I bloody know I’ll make new bloody friends, Annie, It’s not that!" Ben scoffed and mumbled incoherently under his breath. "See? This is what I'm talking about!"

"Huh?"

"It's like you're not even sad about it all!" Ben waved his hands about as he spoke. "You're out there, snuggling your cast-mates, working for hours on end, living your best life -"

"You think I'm not sad about this?" Annie spoke through gritted teeth. "Really?"

"Well, are you?"

"Of course I am!" Annie climbed onto his lap and straddled him. "Ben, are you having a psychotic break right now?"

"You're so cheery and positive and -"

"Because I didn't want to upset you!" Annie smacked his chest. "You blithering idiot!"

"Really?" Ben's voice oozed snark. "Seems like it backfired, no?"

"You're an arse." Annie smacked him again. "You're an idiot and an arse! Who on earth leaves his wi-" Annie huffed just as the word slipped her lips "-girlfriend alone with a baby for months?"

"Annie, stop hitting me!"

"No!" Annie punched him in the arm. "You wanted to see me upset? I'm fucking upset!"

"Annie!" Ben grabbed Annie's wrists and pulled her to him. She braced herself on her haunches to avoid head-butting him. "Stop. It."

"Do you honestly think I'd replace you?" the hurt in Annie's voice was evident. "Do you really think I'd go fuck someone else while you're gone? Jamie, of all people?”

She stared into his eyes, waiting for his answer, but there was none. Annie nodded and started to pull herself up, only to have Ben's grasp on her wrists tighten. She bit the inside of her cheek and tried to pull away again. Ben restrained her, not taking his eyes off hers.

"Ben, let go." Annie's voice was low as she tried to shake her hands free. She stared down at Ben's hands holding her wrists.

"Look at me." Ben squeezed her wrists tighter. "Look. At. Me."

Annie fixed her eyes on him. His usually bright green eyes were clouded and darker, a mixture of sadness, anger and need. He bit his bottom lip as he lowered his gaze onto their hands. All of his sadness, all of his tension had finally reached a boiling point. A crimson flush crept up from his chest to his neck, his muscles clenching with ever jerk of Annie's escape attempts.

"Let go of me. Ben, I’m deadly serious. I hate you right now." Annie hissed, still tense under his grasp. Ben snarled at her choice of words. Annie noticed it and pouted tauntingly. "What, did that hit a nerve? Is that all I needed to say to get a reaction?"

"Shut up."

"Oh, poor Benny. Did I hurt your feelings?" Annie's voice lilted condescendingly. A vicious glint danced in her eyes. "Did you really think you could call me a cheater," Annie's voice was so sweet as she said that, "that you could call me a slag?"

"I never called you any of these."

"You didn't have to." Annie chuckled. "It was heavily implied. Especially when you didn’t even answer my bloody question.” Annie smirked bitterly, tongue in cheek. “So right now? I. Hate. You."

Ben felt as if his entire body is on fire under her. Pins and needles raked through his body, a tingle rushing over his naked skin as they stared each other down.

"Who in their right mind," Annie tilted her head to the side, "leaves their girlfriend and 5-month-old baby for three months and then has the balls to be paranoid about her moving the fuck on without him? Hm?"

Ben clenched her wrists tighter, his upper lip curling up.

"I know who," Annie murmured. "The same guy who'll fail to appreciate his girlfriend's efforts to keep morale high, even though she's hurting. The same guy who's so afraid she'll cheat on him when he's gone, for no fucking reason, other than his own fragile ego, it seems."

"Watch it."

"No, fuck you. Fuck being careful." Annie retorted. "What will it take for you to stop being an undercover jealous prick? Huh? What, do you actually need to mark me as your territory?"

Ben's cock involuntarily twitched at the thought, grazing the crotch of Annie's leggings. Making their eyes lock on each other again. Sending a flurry of butterflies loose in both of their bellies.

"Oh, you can't be serious." Annie scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Unbelievable."

Ben licked his lips and made his move. Now that Annie was distracted, he used his body weight to roll them over and pin her down to the bed under him. His green eyes burned with raw need.

"Shut. Up." He grunted as she tried to wriggle her way out from under him while he held both of her wrists in one hand, up over her head. "Stop it."

Annie's breath hitched when Ben ground his hips into hers, his erection rubbing her inner thighs. He kissed her searingly and growled when she moved her head, pulling her lips away.

"Did I say you can move?" He whispered, his grip tightening on her wrists as his hand worked its' way to her legs. He kissed her again, physically taking her breath away, pushing her leggings down. She pulled back, gasping.  "Do. Not. Move."

"Air!" was all Annie could whine before his lips crashed onto hers again, muffling her moans.

"Do I need to punish you?" He whispered against her lips, his free hand snaking under her t-shirt. "Don't move. Be quiet. Don't want to wake the baby, now, do we?"

Annie shook her head slightly, looking up at Ben with big, doe eyes.

"Good girl." Ben cooed and nuzzled the crook of Annie's neck before pulling her shirt over her head, bunching it on her arms. "Do you hate me, still?"

"Mhm." Annie smirked.

"Guess I'll have to change your mind, then." Ben ground his hips down again.

###

After waking up all alone in their bed in the wee hours of the morning, Annie's sock-clad feet padded softly on the hardwood floor as she shuffled to the living room. She paused at the doorway, looking at the back of Ben's head. The soft, colorful light from the TV illuminated him like a halo. His head propped up on his closed fist, his arms on the back of the sofa.

Sensing her presence, Ben glanced over his shoulder and nodded his head, beckoning Annie to come to him. Smiling, she closed the distance between them and curled up on the soft cushions next to her boyfriend. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her onto his lap before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Baby monitor?" He mumbled against her hair and smiled when Annie reached in her hoodie's pocket and pulled it out. "Did she give you a hard time?"

"My arms are dead."

"She wouldn't let you put her down, then?"

"Does she ever?"

"Solid point."

"What are we watching?" Annie blinked at the bright screen in front of them and groaned when her face appeared on the screen. "Oh, no."

"I have a lot to catch up on, okay?" Ben tickled her sides as she buried her face in his chest. "I'm not sure I'll have time to binge on this while in Arizona, you know."

"Why do you need to binge on this at all?" Annie's muffled voice whined.

"Because." Ben shrugged.

"Right, then." Annie leaned back and grasped at the fabric of his long-sleeved shirt. "You won't mind me binge-watching East Enders, then?"

"You do what you gotta do." Ben sighed and leaned forward.

He grabbed his cup of tea off the coffee table and took a long sip. Annie's gaze followed his every move.

"Ben?" Annie tilted her head as she bit her bottom lip.

"Yeah, love?"

Annie caressed his cheeks as a million thoughts stormed in her mind. A sad smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

###

For the life of him, Ben couldn’t figure out how on earth it was night again. It seemed like everything was moving on double speed, nonstop. Exhausted, he laid sprawled on the bed like a starfish, with Frankie gently nibbling at his toes. One arm draped lazily over his eyes, the other tucked into his sweatpants waistband ever so slightly. The TV was on but on a low volume. Background noise.

He felt Annie's presence while his eyes were still closed, lurking at the doorway. He opened his eyes just a crack, enough to catch a quick glance of her face, and could feel his how his heart is breaking just from her expression alone.

"Don't give me that look."

Annie blinked and shook her head lightly as if her mind was an etch-a-sketch and she could just erase whatever thoughts popped up so Ben wouldn't see what they were. Considering that this very night would be Ben's last night at home, they both walked on eggshells, high on the tips of their toes.

"What look?" Annie asked sweetly and walked over to the bed. Ben stretched out his arms, inviting her in for a cuddle. "I wasn't giving you a look."

"Must've been imagining, then..." Ben mumbled with a sigh. He raked his fingers through her hair lazily, enjoying the warmth her body radiated. "Banana?"

"Hmm?" Annie purred and snuggled up as close as she could.

"I'm sad."

"I know." Annie propped herself up on one arm. “I’m sad too.”

“I need to you promise me something.”

“Ben, for the last time, I’m not going to cheat on you with Jamie!” Annie poked his side. “I swear, I’ll only cheat on you with Joe.”

“That’s not what I was going to say and you would never!” Ben grabbed her wrist gently. “Promise me you’ll always text me good night and good morning if you can’t call.”

“I promise.” Annie smiled.

###

“You know what?” Ben stopped in his tracks on his way to queue for his flight check-in, “I think I’ll stay.”

“The hell you are, Ben!” Annie moved Rory over to her other hip. “She needs toys! And  food! And diapers!”

“But Arizona is so bloody far!”

“Jesus Christ, not this again.” Gwilym chimed in and handed a bottle of Coca Cola to Ben. “Be a big boy, now, Benny.”

“God, I’ll miss you.” Ben sighed, his eyes closed.

“I’ll miss you too, babe.” Gwil replied instead of Annie.

“Do you two lovebirds need a minute alone?” Annie snorted. “I’ll miss you too, Ben.”

“And I’ll miss you the most!” Ben cooed and grabbed his baby, kissing every exposed inch of her skin.

“Thanks, love.” Annie sipped from his Coke. “I really appreciate that.”

“Ben, you’ll miss your flight, mate.” Gwil scratched his head as he looked at the huge departures sign. “You better hustle.”

“I’m staying.”

“Go!” Both Gwilym and Annie barked at him.

“I love you.” Ben murmured, his lips pressed to Rory’s cheek. “Take care of mum, yeah? Be a good girl?”

“Are you -” Gwilym tilted Annie’s head up to get a better look, “are you crying?!”

“Shut up!”

“Oh, fuck.” Ben’s eyes locked in on Annie’s face, prompting a wave of tears from his own eyes. “We said no tears!”

“Stop it, Ben!” Annie pawed at her cheeks to wipe off her tears. “No crying!”

“Goddamnit!” Ben hissed and shrugged one shoulder, wiping his tears on his hoodie. “Alright. Alright. No crying.”

“I think this is the perfect moment to separate the two of you.” Gwilym said, taking Rory from Ben’s arms and bouncing her on his hip. “Come on, children. Just like we practised.”

Annie leaped up and wrapped her arms and her legs around Ben, holding on for dear life. They kissed, one last time, their tears mixing together. Ben squeezed his girlfriend as close to him as he could and inhaled her scent as he pressed a thousand kisses all over her face.

“I’ll call you as soon as I land.” He whispered in Annie’s ear. “I love you.”

###

TAGLIST:  @ramibaby @xgoingdownx @qweenly @violetpond @sweeterthancheese @drummerqueenrmt @westansstuff @justgivemethekeys  @blondecarfucker @cheeseedreams47 @rogerspoison @deacy-dearest @pinkmarvel @onceuponadetectivedemigod

shawn meets... | bella(2)

SUMMARY: in the life of a rockstar, shawn mendes comes across some unique people. sometimes, things stray from the norm. (AU, shawn x every one of my oc’s)(continuation/spin off of goth gf)

AN: imma jus be straight up bc no one cares otherwise,,,,,,, the goth gf makes a return in this chapter

****let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

previous chapter

bella’s origin story | bella’s playlist | masterlist

Shawn was really pushing his 30s, or it felt like that the moment he hit 28. He felt it in his soul… and his knees. And his back. Thank god his face was still intact, though. It was really shitty that part of your success in this industry depended on your looks. Brian used to give Shawn so much shit about using face masks when they were younger and honestly… Shawn wished he was here to do it again.

While he wasn’t exactly nervous about presenting at an awards show for the millionth time, he still liked to have someone around who knew him before all of this fame. Someone normal. Shawn couldn’t find it in his heart to find someone new to keep him humble. If he wasn’t still grieving the loss, his ego would be colossal. He thought about bringing Aaliyah along, but she was neck deep in her third year of graduate school. He considered Connor, but he got a new job photographing some other famous singer. There was no one like Brian, as it turns out.

The reflection in the mirror practically matched Shawn’s feelings in the moment: indifferent about the awards show, mildly sad about the lingering absence. Tiffany was running a lint roller over the deep burgundy blazer. Tonight’s look was, for lack of a better word, edgy. Shawn had on eyeliner for once, and the square frames he actually needed for reasons other than vanity. He also on a sheer black button up underneath the blazer, showing the upside down torch tattoo on his chest. While he was indifferent about tonight, he was still confident about his appearance and the presentation he was going to make.

Tonight, Shawn was going to present the Person of the Year Award to none other than Bella Santiago. If it was anyone else, he wouldn’t have agreed to this, much less written the speech himself. Bella had become a friend to him over the last few years; She wrote a track with him for his first album, and more recently, she invited him to her wedding. Shawn adored Bella, and she was the only reason he was here tonight. At least, that’s what he was told.

Once he was deemed presentable enough, Shawn was moved out of the shared dressing room and put in the green room. His team dispersed, finally having a moment to breathe before the show started. Shawn grabbed a bottle of water and mingled with a few acquaintances and friends he hadn’t spoken to in a long while. His year was busy, even though he was just making plans to create and release new music. There were enough meetings and writing sessions to keep him from talking to any of his friends. At least the friends in this industry understood that.

People were coming and going from the room. Managers were discussing manager things. Celebrities that were actually friends with each other stuck together. Some were watching the live feed of the red carpet on the monitor that was hanging on the wall. A group of new age YouTubers were getting their photos taken, and Shawn didn’t recognize any of them. The only person he watched on YouTube apart from Bella was his other friend, Aria Mercer, who was here as well. She and her husband, Joe Sugg, were getting their photos taken after the previous group. They were in matching navy blue suits, the epitome of couple goals.

The only other YouTuber that Shawn knew about had just made her entrance to the green room. Although Bella Santiago had permanently gotten rid of the hot pink hair years ago, she still sported the color in a bedazzled gown. At her side were three people: Sonji the manager, in a purple business suit; Ethan Nestor the husband, in a pink dress shirt and black bowtie to match his wife; An unrecognizable woman with short hair, in a grey pantsuit and massive prescription glasses. Maybe a handler.

Shawn didn’t pay any mind to her as he went over to the group. He approached Bella with open arms, and she was more than happy to see him.

“Hola, hermoso!” she greeted as she took his hands.

They both looked at each other’s outfits in admiration, marveling at how pretty the other looked. Then, it was Sonji’s turn to schmooze.

“Shawn, you get better and better with age!” she gushed as she pulled him in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Love the eyeliner, boo.”

“Thank you.” He smiled wider. “You look gorgeous as always.”

“And you remember, Ethan,” Bella said, placing her hand on her husband’s shoulder.

Ethan was much more casual and went for the handshake. Shawn had only met him once at the wedding a few years ago. All he knew about Ethan was that he also had a YouTube channel. Shawn never got into it, though.

“And this is-” Bella looked to where the last person in her group was standing, but held her tongue.

The woman in glasses had disappeared, and none of them realized until now.

Sonji sighed. “Where did that girl go?”

“Who was she?” Shawn asked, noticing the rapidly growing concern between the three people.

“My therapist,” Bella explained, looking around the room almost frantically. “I’ve always had a therapist accompany me to big events like these. And now she’s abandoned me, I guess!”

“Hey, I bet she’s close by,” Ethan told her as he took her hand in both of his. “We’ll find her, okay?”

“I’ll go find her,” Sonji said as she cracked her knuckles, diving further into the green room.

Shawn was about ready to back away slowly and let them figure that out. He didn’t like the situation any more than they did, but if he stuck around any longer it would get very awkward.

But Bella spoke up. “Ethan, can you help her? I’ll have Shawn stay with me.”

“You sure?” Ethan asked, glancing at the other man. It was easy to tell he was protective of his wife and very cautious of her anxiety.

“I got her, it’s fine,” Shawn replied, moving to stand next to Bella.

With that, Ethan followed Sonji’s trail. Bella moved closer to Shawn, picking at her fingernails.

“You excited about tonight?” Shawn asked her.

“Nervous,” she corrected. “Really nervous. I brought my shrink to help me with that, and she was supposed to walk with me onstage. Now she’s gone. Fuck me, I guess.”

“Doesn’t sound like a good shrink. Is there anything else I can do to help?”

“Just stick with me until one of my people come back.”

“I can do that. Would you wanna step out of the room or stay in here?”

“Here’s fine.” Bella sighed and dropped her hands to her sides. “I just hate dealing with this after years of therapy, y’know?”

Shawn had been looking around the room until that sentiment, which made his heart ache. He saw the worry in Bella’s brown eyes, and he properly turn to face her. “You’ve come a long way, you can’t forget that. A couple years ago, you told me you’d never be able to attend something like this. Give yourself some credit.”

Her shoulders relaxed a little bit. “I’m just glad it’s you presenting the award. Wouldn’t have done this if it was some stranger making a speech about me.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t have written a speech about someone I didn’t know or believe in.”

Bella cracked a small smile and squeezed his arm. “You better not make me cry onstange!”

He chuckled. He knew his speech like the back of his hand. He could only hope that she would like it. “No spoilers.”

That made Bella giggle, something that relieved the nerves a little bit. Then, she scanned the room once more. “Where’s my husband? And my shrink?”

“Yeah, what kind of therapist walks out on their patient?”

“She’s kinda new at this… just started her practice and-” Bella cut herself off, and then looked at Shawn like she just remembered something. “Oh.”

“Oh?” he repeated, waiting for her to elaborate. “Oh, what?”

Before anything more could be said, Andrew was at Shawn’s side, and Sonji, Ethan, and the shrink was at Bella’s. The show was about to start, and it was time to take their seats. Shawn managed to throw a not so nice look at Bella’s therapist before being whisked away.

He was followed by his team that appeared from nowhere. He quickly forgot about Bella’s sudden change in behavior as he was let in on the night’s events. He was mostly going to be sitting tonight, he wasn’t even performing, or nominated for anything. This was actually his first public appearance since Brian’s death last year. Shawn requested he didn’t do anything major, aside from presenting. He didn’t want the spotlight on him.

The awards show went as any other would. Shitty banter from the hosts, obvious reading from a teleprompter, and scripted speeches that weren’t written by the person accepting the award. It was still fun to watch; Shawn loved watching his friends get recognized for their success.

Finally, came his turn to present. Person of the Year was a prestigious award, accompanied by a speech from the presenter, a little video, and then a speech by the awardee. Shawn stood in front of the microphone, a polite smile on his face, and he began to speak.

“Fourteen years ago, a girl picked up a camera and decided to film herself doing her makeup, not having any idea where it was going to go. Bella Santiago is a person who has seen the worst of the world, and still has the courage to rise up and be the change she’s always wanted to see. She has changed the lives of many, even my own. When I first met Bella, I was twenty one. I was nervous about being in a video with her because I had outed myself as bisexual so quickly, almost effortlessly, in front of her. She looked at me and said, ‘it shows that it’s okay to be open about who you are, and you deserve to be exactly who you are.’ That is something I have carried with me to this day. You meet Bella Santiago, and she will find even the smallest way to make you feel better about yourself, and she took it even further by creating her own charity, Butterflies for the Better to help LGBTQ+ youth struggling with their mental health. Fourteen years ago, a girl picked up a camera and changed the world.”

A round of applause ripped through the crowd as the lights went down. The big screen behind Shawn lit up, showing a video of Bella’s finest moments on YouTube. Clips from her videos were compiled with some inspiring music in the background. When that was over, Shawn spoke into the microphone once again.

“It is the greatest privilege to present the Person of the Year award to my dear friend, Bella Santiago.”

The applause was much louder this time, and people got to their feet as the woman herself stepped onto the stage.  Shawn looked back, catching her eye and grinning. He also noticed the spectacled shrink at her side, holding her hand. Shawn did the whole awkward side hug thing to both women, and then stood some ways back, noticing that Bella’s shrink didn’t follow suit. Apparently she wanted her close.

“Wow…” Bella’s voice shook slightly, and she was not looking directly at the audience. Her shrink was still holding onto her hand. “Uh… I mean, Shawn was right. Little nineteen year old Bella picked up a camera with no clue of what was about to happen. If you had told her that over the next sixteen years that her channel would blow up and that she would have the opportunity to give back…” She paused and took a deep breath. “Nineteen year old Bella would have said, ‘that’s impossible, I don’t plan to live that long.’ That being said, I want to take this time to say, no matter how bad it is right now, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. And there’s always help available. I could thank so many people right now, but I’ll keep it short. Jack: my best friend and biggest motivator. Ethan: my number one and my biggest supporter. I love both of you forever. And to the therapists I’ve had: Helena Carlisle, en paz descanse. And my current therapist, Annalise Flores. You guys are fighting the good fight. Thank you for believing in me.”

Oh.

Shawn felt everything slow down and turn grey. The polite grin on his face faded immediately, and his insides started to short circuit. The name circled his head over and over, trying to make sense of it. He fought the urge to walk up to the two women and get a closer look at the spectacled one. His legs were numb as he followed them off the stage, staring at the back of their heads.

He wasn’t even fazed by the sound of Bella bursting into sobs. Something just went over Shawn’s mind, and his only goal was to just look at her therapist. There was no way… they had to have the exact same name.

Sonji and Ethan were waiting in the wings, and were quick to crowd Bella from the backstage camera, into an empty hallway. Shawn followed them, ignoring Andrew’s calls. He just kept his eyes on the back of the therapist’s head.

The therapist must have sensed this because she suddenly stopped in her tracks. Ethan, Sonji, and Bella kept walking, turning into a room. Shawn nearly ran into the therapist, obviously not expecting her to stop so quickly.

She turned around. “My patient does not wish to speak to anyone at this time.”

Her voice hadn’t changed at all. Still firm and serious, with the ability to throw Shawn back about six years.

“Ann…?” he said, eyes wide with wonder.

She didn’t say anything for a minute, but then she sighed and took off her large glasses. The prescription really skewed her eyes, because now - apart from the hair - Ann’s face was easily the same.

“I’m working,” she snapped. “I already left my patient once because of you, I’m not about to do it again.”

“But-” Shawn said, but Ann was turning on her heel and going down the hall.

He stood there, that wide-eyed, dumbfounded look still on his face. The first time he’s seen Ann in six years, and that’s how it going. How is it that the stars aligned to make this happen?

“There you are!” called Andrew from behind, at the other end of the hall. He approached his client, exasperated. “The hell are you doing out here?”

Shawn shook it off and faced the other man. “Thought I saw something.”

“Something?” Andrew repeated. “We’re on a schedule here! That something better have been important!”

“I saw my ex-girlfriend, alright?” And Shawn was undeniably shaken to the core by it. This was the last place he expected to see this particular ex.

Andrew was confused. “Camila's dressing room isn't in this wing, you know that.”

Shawn didn’t have anything to say to that. He did know that, because they were texting. He and Camila weren’t supposed to interact with each other in person until after the show.

Neither of them really listened to that rule. Public relations aside, they were still friends. Shawn was back in his dressing room when Camila finally came along.

“It’s that time again,” was the first thing she said.

Shawn immediately knew what that meant. He already knew the drill, and he didn’t want to talk about it until he had to. Right now, he had to talk about something else. “Ann is here.”

“Not Ann from college?” Camila replied, confused. “Crazy goth girl you dated? The hell is she doing here?”

“She’s a therapist! Can you believe that?” Shawn said, finally processing what had happened. “She was accompanying-”

Camila cut him off with a gasp. “Oh, I get it now! That’s why you made that face during the speech! I didn’t realize that was our Annalise! That’s so crazy!”

“Isn’t it?”

“How is it that the universe brought you two to this place at this time?”

“Exactly what I was thinking.”

“Did you get to talk to her?”

If there were cameras or witnesses around, they would have been enthralled by the two of them animatedly talking to each other. Shawn explained the quick interaction, unsure of this feeling in his chest.

“I can’t believe she’s actually here,” Camila said. “Like, just thinking about her brings me back to college. A completely different point in life.”

Shawn agreed. Different things triggered nostalgia, and in this case, it was a person. The longer he sat there, the more he thought about the past relationship. The warm feeling was sparking in his chest, and he wanted to scratch at it.

“Do you think she still talks to Stella?” Camila’s voice softened a little bit, and she averted her eyes.

Over time, she never really spoke of her own break up. She had told Shawn that she wanted to leave Stella and that relationship on the campus grounds. All that Shawn knew was that they ended when Camila got signed. That, and…

“Weren’t you supposed to marry her?” he asked.

“Shouldn’t you be married to Annalise and have like three of her babies by now?” she said back, snark in her tone. Then she sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. That’s just… the thought of Ann being here, here in this world…”

“It’s a reminder of what we left behind,” Shawn continued. “Ann is what I left behind, so I get it.”

They both sighed, letting this sink in. Then, a voice came from the doorway.

"Hello!" It was Bella's manager, Sonji. "Don't mean to interrupt you two lovebirds!"

"Oh, we're not-"

"It's okay-"

Shawn and Camila shared a look. How fast was it supposed to happen this time?

Sonji raised an eyebrow. "Anyway… Mr. Mendes, if you could come with me."

"Why?" he asked, standing up and doing what was told. He gave Camila one last glance before leaving the dressing room.

"Like nobody noticed your entire soul leave your body at the sound of my client's therapist's name," Sonji replied with a chuckle. "Did you know you're trending on Twitter?"

Shawn didn't say anything, but a deep pit formed in his stomach. So it was that obvious, eh? He didn't even want to watch back the footage.

After walking past some important looking people, the two were in the room that Bella was confined to after receiving her award. However, Bella and Ethan were gone, and all who was left was none other than-

"Ann-banan!" Sonji called to the other woman, who had been talking on the phone.

"Okay, Ms. Adair, just tell your employer-" She looked up, circular spectacles hanging on her nose. Then, she went back to her call. "Tell Ms. Lilith I will get back to her at my earliest convenience." And she hung up.

If Shawn wasn't so stuck in 2019, he would have been floored at the names he heard.

"The man you requested," Sonji said, gesturing to Shawn. "Y'all got until Bella finishes her interviews."

With that, Shawn Mendes and Annalise Flores were left alone for the first time in six years. Ann took off and played with her glasses, watching Shawn, who was stunned at the fact that she requested him. She wanted to see him, but she didn't look happy about it.

"So, what's up?" he asked.

"Let's see," Ann replied, an annoyed grin on her face. "You lay eyes on me like I'm something stuck under your shoe, and you look away. Then, your ability to internalize your feelings becomes the most important thing about my patient's speech. Finally, you try to follow me when I'm trying to diffuse said patient's anxiety attack!"

Shawn blinked. "Good to see you too."

Ann took a deep breath. "Not that I'm not pleasantly surprised to see you. But I'm working, and so are you."

This was not how was Shawn expecting this to go.

"So why did you want me over here then?"

"I would like to catch up," she said. "Just can't do it now."

And that's how fast Shawn perked up. "Doing anything after the show?"

Ann shook her head. "Not today. It's been a day. I would like to give this the attention it deserves, and I do not have the emotional capacity for that."

It sounded so calculated and scripted, but Shawn was touched anyway. He didn't know what Ann had gone through today, but it wasn't enough for her to put off catching up with him so she could address it better.

"Yeah, okay," Shawn said with a nod. "Do you live here in LA? We can meet for coffee? Or… somewhere less public if you'd like?"

Ann was quiet for a moment, still playing with her glasses. "Less public is good."

"Absolutely. I'll text you, yeah?"

The two of them traded numbers, and then there was a knock on the door. Sonji peered her head inside.

"Okay, put your clothes back on! Ann-banan, you have another visitor!"

"Who?" Ann asked.

Shawn turned to find Camila entering the room. She was much more bubbly and enthusiastic, cutting the tension that had inexplicably risen.

"Hey, girl!" Camila greeted, bouncing over to Ann and pulling her into a hug.

Only Shawn saw the mild discomfort on Ann's face as she was touched. He offered an apologetic smile.

"Look at us, reunited!" Camila exclaimed when she let go of the other woman. "All we need is Stella and the circle is complete!"

Ann hummed, her expression unreadable. "Okay, well it was nice catching up, but I have to get back to my patient."

"Oh, you're a therapist now, huh?" Camila asked. "That's so cool! How much do you charge? What do you specialize in?"

"Um…" Ann pulled her wallet out of her back pocket and opened it up, pulling out two business cards and handing it to them.

Annalise Flores, LMHC, LMFT Mental Health Counselor & Marriage and Family Therapy

Her office and cell numbers were on the card too. The card itself was very true to her nature, despite her professional attire. It was black with a holographic crescent moon on it.

"Look at you living your dream." Shawn grinned.

"Six years and counting," Ann replied. Then, she went for the door. "I really have to go, but if you have any series inquiries about my practice, call the office."

"Will do!" Camila said, watching her leave. As soon as she was gone, she turned to Shawn. "Our little Ann has an office."

"She's a therapist," Shawn added. "We've come a long way from our university days."

next chapter

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @someoneunimportantxx @shawnsunflower @iloveshawnieboi @chillingbythesea @peruvian-bae

Kpop ship for palmtrien

Okay y’all, so I had Thanksgiving AND working black Friday weekend to delay my writing, but I. am. HERE with @palmtrien ‘s ship! This post is actually a happy post for me because this is my 50th ship! Tbh when I started making ships, I didn’t expect to get so many people asking for requests, so I’m so happy I get to bring happiness to you guys~ thank you so much! 

Based off of your request, I learned these things about you: 

You’re 5′4 with caramel bleached hair

Introverted but can get wild

Comforting and easy going

Can be hard at expressing emotions sometimes

Not as outspoken and prefers to stay peaceful

Hobbies/interests include: history SAME!, rock music SAME!, conspiracies, traveling, archeology, and crime shows

And in your request, you asked to be shipped with BTS, EXO, and NCT! You were so much fun to ship for, so let’s go!

BTS: Namjoon

Tbh, I was gonna go with Yoongi, but I didn’t want to put an introvert with another introvert, we get funky round these parts. You and Joon would be so versatile because you can be intellectuals with good logic skills, but you also can be wild as bucks and hyper ass goons. You two would be travel buddies, of course Namjoon would want to share his life experiences with you. Then a big thing I can see you two doing would be spending so much time in his studio. You would easily make yourself at home and get all comfy and you two could do all kinds of stuff. Whether it be researching the scheduled train wrecks of the 1890s or studying different types of architecture, you two would talk about everything. Then we all know how laid back Joon is, so imagine the v i b e s that would radiate through that studio on a regular. And just for a cute touch, imagine you falling asleep on the little couch in his studio, and Namjoon would cover you up to let you nap and he would work on his ep’s while you sleep, and he’d take little glances at you and smile. The studio would also dub as a safe space as well, being an area where you and Joon can have heart to heart conversations. Namjoon is an excellent listener as well, so if you’re having a hard time expressing the amount of stress you’re under, Namjoon will be there for you, sitting quietly and patiently, helping you work through your worries and stress with ease. Grade A boyfriend right there. You two can also be wild beans like I mentioned earlier. You two can be dancing goofs in the grocery store or Namjoon could get into one of his destruction fits by accident and you two are making all kinds of noise and trying to clean up after yourselves. Then just imagine the bopping sessions in the car omg. You’d have the whole car shaking you’re dancing so hard! Date nights are so sweet and romantic! It’s always about celebrating you two as a couple, with your favorite meals on the menu. Another little detail- I think it would be really cute if you two would have your own desserts. It’s that perfect little addition that you two are indeed different people and it’s so sweet. PDA is the best, I wish I had Namjoon for this kind of PDA, here we go. So many hugs, especially the ones where he holds your hands and pulls you to him. Then all kinds of forehead kisses, ugh, his lips would be soft as a pillow, and I can totally see Namjoon has the guy who plays with your hands. They’re so small compared to his and he loves it!

EXO: Baekhyun

We’re gonna get even more funky here y’all. Your hyper string bean who you can rock out to the Eagles with on a daily. Imma just lay it out on the line, that Baekhyun and you would always be like that gif of him and Chanyeol dancing and jumping around the room listening to bopping music- this can and WILL happen (: . Mr. Byun is also that bug that bites you that makes you go wild. Overall, you and Baekhyun are sweet little beans who have the sweetest puppy love~ I can also see you and Baekhyun being big travel buddies. I don’t mean to be repetitive like Namjoon, but hear me out. We all know that Baehyun has got that $$$ so like, Baekhyun would definitely take you with him to see the world. And you two also travel together when he travels for work. And I think it would be really really cute if you two would keep maps of the different continents and you would cut out a picture of you two in that particular country and paste it onto the country you visited. It’s a cute way to keep track of all the places you go, and of course you would keep little trinkets and bits and bobs from your travels that stay in a special box. And if you two are just traveling, not for work or anything, I can see Baekhyun taking you to museums, historical places, and even famous crime scenes if there any nearby. And be prepared for Baekhyun to bust out some jokes about how normal boyfriends take their S/o’s out to dinner for date nights, but he takes you to see a bunch of dead stuff. It’s okay though because you two have fun no matter where you go. You two also always try to try cuisine from that particular country and dear lord, no matter how many times Baekhyun tells you that he isn’t hungry or doesn’t wanna try something, this little shit will take giant bites of your food or steal it entirely if he likes the food. And because of this sometimes you have to smack his hands away from your food. Another huge thing I can see Baekhyun doing is pranking you. He would love to pull jump scares on you. His signature moves would be: 1) he would stand at doorways or behind doors or behind furniture and wait for the right moment to scare you, and 2) he would come up behind you and scare you from behind. Hehe, but you can always get back at him by touching your cold hands to his back or even your cold feet to his sides as pay back :3. And despite the mischief, Baekhyun is head over heels for you. Where you two travel so much together, I can see that you two would be dependent on each other and you’d be really close. PDA is sweet of course, as Baekhyun loves to hold your hands and give you the softest kisses, and he would always never want to let go, so he would wrap his arms around you to keep you around for a little longer before letting go. 

NCT: Hendery

Okay so of the three, I think that this one may be my favorite. So much puppy love to go around here, and I can easily say that Hendery is hopelessly in love with you. You and Hendery would spend a lot of time together, you two scream closeness to me, so I have no issues confirming that you two would be really close. Here I go with the details again, but I think it would be so cute if you two would get an itty bitty kitty together. Just a little bean who can snuggle between you two and hang out with you while you sleep and keep you warm at night. A huge thing I can see you two doing is going on walks. A lot of your bonding times/dates starts and can simply be walks. With no particular place to go, follow the river and you would eventually end up at a café or something. Then while you would be sipping on a good cup of joe, you would be snuggled into a booth together and the whole moment would be soft. And not only would you two be smitten for each other, but even strangers could be smitten for you two. Imagine you’re at a café, snuggled up on the booth, being cute and jazz, and an older couple see you two. One thing would lead to another, but you and Hendery would end up talking to the older couple and they would tell you two about stories from when they were younger and how you two reminded them of themselves when they were younger. It would be a humbling experience not gonna lie, seeing that love can last a lifetime. Moving right along, you are also heavily involved with Hendery’s work life. You would be his sunshine on a rainy day, you would be his ROCK. Idol life is very stressful, we’re seeing that more and more everyday and you would be Hendery’s cheerleader. Then, if you couldn’t be there if the boys were abroad, you would work with Hendery’s fellow members to help take care of him in case he gets too stressed or sad. Here’s the money shot though. When it comes time for a comeback, Hendery would be cooped up in the studio for a while, so, date nights at the company would be a thing. Hendery would set up a cute little picnic on one of the building balconies under the stars and you’d have little finger sandwiches and chocolate covered strawberries. You two would laugh and hold hands, Hendery would give you soft kisses, ugh I’m in love. Then he would dim the lights in one of the practice rooms and you two would slow dance to a song from the 60s. Then the cherry on top would be going home and snuggling with the kitten til you sleep. Lastly PDA is very soft, Hendery is always kissing/holding your hands and hugging you for a long time, and he’ll always whisper how much he loves you in your ear.

~STA

Get to know the writer tag

Tagged by @sweetcatminteareblog~

Rules: answer 10 questions, tag 10 people, and write 10 more questions

1. If you could spend the day with one of your OCs who would it be and why?

I think I’d hang with Zakuru. We’re both introverted and not that talkative so it would be perfect! Or we could just tag team video games together which is nice too =w= Or have some tea

2. Which of your own worlds would you most/least like to live in?

Wow so I haven’t talked about my other worlds really. Well, I’d like to live in Eden if and only if I was also a changeling, otherwise it would be boring lol

3. What is your favourite trope to write?

Oh we talked about this recently! I can’t really think of a favorite, but I do like the quiet older brother types. But also Berserk Buttons, are very fun to write >w<

4. Do you have a favourite writing snack?

Funny how food is brought up so much whilst writing! How can you if you get residue on your fingers? But sometimes me nomming on a kashi bar isn’t that bad.

5. Which of your OCs is most like you?

So I am a healthy blend of Zakuru and Yoko, but I guess originally speaking, At first glance, Zakuru is more like me in the sense that I am very shy, not that great with communication, and ... i get a lot of compliments about being kind and sweet so ^w^;

Though if you put all of the main cast together you’d get me as well lol

6. Follow up from 5: Does this make them easier or harder to write for you?

It is very hard to write Zakuru since she’s more... fragile and damaged than me. Complex characters you know. 

7. Describe yourself using only vine references

https://youtu.be/fHGZ52Mp88k

8. Which authors/artists/musicians/creators have inspired you?

The things that have inspired me, I was too young and didn’t care for the names (Naruto, Hush Hush series, RedWall, Golden Sun series), but I can say firmly that as of now there is Bryan Konietzko and Michael Dante Dimartino (ATLA), Joe Hisaishi, Hayao Miyazaki, and Glen Keane.

9. Favourite song/album?

Too many songs and genres! XD

(Odezsa, Savant, too much stuff from video games, Galimatias, Volbeat)

10. What kind of pet do you most want?

Give me a cat and dog that love each other and then I can die happy.

11. (Bonus Thing!) What is your favourite line from your current wip?

“Your sister died that day, your Highness. What you have here is just a doppelgänger.” Ginga frowns.

Gave me a beautiful AU idea lol

Questions (im assuming from my tag?):

1. You’re on a deserted island with three books (and one ‘survival guide for dummies’) which are they?

@ragethewriter‘s trilogy lol

Um, maybe redwall because technically speaking I never read the books, only watched the cartoon

2. Is there an OC that you would not like to meet in real life?

.....Considering the damage I’ve done to them, maybe not many. But Hey! THERE’S HARU! Haru is great! He wouldn’t kill me ;w;

3. Would you rather be a famous as an author/content producer or have your characters be famous?

I think for me, specifically my characters. But I’m fine with either way lol

4. Which OC would you most like to see fanart of?

Zakuru and Draco ;w; 

I’m trash that loves her antag way too much

5. What’s your favourite feature of one of your OCs?

Kabuto’s tattoos :3

6. What’s your favourite character trope (in your wip or in general)?

See question 3 above~

7. Where do you like to create?

At a desk hopefully lol

8. What’s one non-writing skill you have?

Martial arts? 

9. Is there a book you used to love but grew out of?

One could easily say all those childrens books they were given....but it is not the case here. I think the hunger games? But I don’t really have a habit of rereading books anyway.

10. What’s your favourite scene from your wip? (Can be planned or written) (Doesn’t have to be the actual scene word for word, a general overview is good)

Either spoilers in the climax where bad things happen, or when Zakuru sees Kabuto in the climax and someone gets their shit wrecked lol

1. What hogwarts house are you in?

2. Describe your dream book cover

3. What platform do you use to write?

4. What is one thing you want your current/future fans to take away from your story?

5. What are some aesthetics/themes to your story, setting, or characters? 

i’m olly gonna do 5 questions because im a busy bee! imma taaag... @kainablue @ragethewriter @authorkimberlygrey @incandescent-creativity @godlyundertones @

Edie & Nancy

Edie: here then is it? Nancy: Yeah Nancy: Do you wanna see some pics? Edie: nah Edie: saw the socials Nancy: They're both okay, like Edie: Obvs, McKenna, reckon they'd bother to hmu if they were dead Edie: cheers then Nancy: There's a huge difference between alright and dead Nancy: I'm just saying Edie: not to me Nancy: Do you want me to tell anyone anything or? Edie: do what u wanna Edie: everyone busy Nancy: They aren't that busy Nancy: It's a baby not a bomb threat Edie: she ain't that special Edie: least they were expecting that alien looking thing this time Edie: progress Nancy: Barely but you know Nancy: Feels like a giant step back if anything Edie: 🙄 Edie: gutted for you Nancy: No you aren't, so don't bother with any of it Edie: obviously not Nancy: Is there anything else you actually wanna know/say 'cause I'm not good at this Nancy: Let's not pretend I am Edie: you rude as fuck Nancy: And what, you're the only one allowed? Edie: i ain't done anything to you but nah feel pressed Edie: u love it Nancy: You've disappeared and everyone is worried. You don't care about that but I do Nancy: So sorry if I don't wanna indulge it, like Edie: only got time for your sads? Edie: joke Nancy: I wish Nancy: We'd all love to run away Nancy: But some of us have to actually stick around Edie: boohoo Edie: dry Edie: what good u think u are mckenna Nancy: Go away again, Edie Nancy: I don't need this Nancy: Nobody does Edie: 😂 Edie: u ain't got nothing but problems you made up cos ur boring Edie: same as her, fucking drew the only excitement she ever had Nancy: Thanks for the therapy session Edie: mommy issues, next Nancy: You're such a cliche Nancy: At least give me one I haven't heard a million times before Edie: ok miss i want my teacher to pipe me Edie: act superior some more it funny Nancy: I'll be here all week Nancy: And longer Edie: whatever Edie: no u wont but run your mouth all u want Edie: u all talk a big game Nancy: Some of us do bother to say what we mean Nancy: Shockingly Edie: nah Edie: you out in a few months max Edie: the only one that always here is him and he always will be Nancy: Going to uni doesn't make me a ghost Nancy: Keeping in touch is easy if you want to Edie: like u ain't already Edie: oh babe Nancy: You don't know me Edie: who wants to Nancy: Plenty of people Edie: yeah like i say Edie: making up problems done wonders for ur cred Edie: least they talking yeah Nancy: Like I said, you don't know me Edie: u wish Edie: transparent Nancy: I really don't Nancy: I've dealt with enough bitches already thanks Edie: 😥 Edie: nawh Nancy: You wanna talk shit to me some more, go ahead Nancy: Nice to know you're still alive at least Edie: always with the self-pity, ain't a good look fyi but go off Nancy: You'd know Edie: i'm the only one celebrating this thing birth not comiserating Edie: poor fuck Nancy: Congrats, like Nancy: Go do that and leave me alone Edie: nah Nancy: I'm ignoring you now Edie: sure Edie: like u can Nancy: Literally always have Edie: yeah why u had to run here init Edie: so strong Edie: so like ur mummy Nancy: I'm not strong and it ain't news Edie: hoping playing damsel get u some Edie: who ain't Edie: cute Nancy: No, I just know myself Nancy: You can't hurt me by pointing out my flaws, babe. I'm aware Edie: who trying Edie: no need Edie: ready to cry over nothing always Nancy: Keep talking like you know about it Nancy: It just shows how much you don't Edie: so mysterious Edie: so guarded Edie: now u wishing Nancy: You're just putting words in my mouth now Nancy: You wish you knew me well enough to call me out Nancy: I'm not my brother, sorry. I don't wanna flirt with you Edie: i already said Edie: no one tryna know u babe Edie: least of all him Edie: comorbidity with ur mommy issues is ur twincest moment obvs Nancy: You're so wrong it's just awkward Edie: u brought up flirting w him Edie: that's awks Nancy: I brought him flirting with you, actually Edie: not rio Edie: why u jealous Nancy: Gross Nancy: He loves her, he entertains you Nancy: Not the same thing Edie: we all pretending that ain't fucked up then but this drew situ omg defcon1 Edie: this family 😂 good for the craic if literally nothing else Nancy: Nobody's pretending it isn't a mess Nancy: They just aren't being as rude as you Edie: oh no Edie: they'd NEVER do that Edie: 'cept they let joe pipe his own sister, drew fuck his way through this entire fam, gonna let them get married Edie: yeah Edie: the last thing you all do is turn a blind eye 😂 Edie: keep posting them pics like it's cute Nancy: Live in the past some more like it matters Nancy: It's done Nancy: I can't personally change it for you so Edie: past? Edie: bitch this happening right now Edie: jokes too miss imma have a victim complex cos the rich girls didn't wanna play nice with me Nancy: What's happening right now is being dealt with right now, Jesus Nancy: You'd know if you were here Edie: too late as per Edie: let it become a problem then we can all feel so sorry for ourselves aw Edie: let the skeleton raise the abortion go off Edie: slaying it Nancy: What's your solution? Nancy: We can't tell her what to do Edie: get the bitch hospitalized Edie: duh Edie: she isn't fit to be in her job or be a ma Edie: let her fuck this one up tho, join the ranks Nancy: If I could, I would Edie: sure Nancy: What you think you're the only one who's just had that oh so original thought? Nancy: Please Edie: please, like ur the only one acting as if your hands are tied Nancy: Mine are Nancy: What the fuck do you think I can do, Edie? Edie: grow a pair mckenna Edie: the act didn't work Edie: miss didn't wanna fuck u, mommy ain't coming to rescue u either 'cos u ain't her fave Edie: try something else, be original, christ Nancy: Oh my god Nancy: And do what? Nobody's gonna put Ro in hospital 'cause I say so Nancy: Or take the kid when she technically hasn't done anything wrong Edie: ring the social Edie: christ got an in Edie: like nan ain't been knew since she took the bitch in she ain't right Nancy: You know they'd investigate and do nothing Nancy: You aren't that stupid Edie: u know u too pussy to do it Edie: everyone in this fam and they wanna front like they anything but Nancy: Bullshit Nancy: Lord, I wish everything was as black and white as you're convinced it is Edie: here we go again Edie: woe is the tragic clan Edie: newsflash, normal people aren't beset by all this fucking drama and actual bullshit Edie: cos they don't roll around in it and revel in the fucking stink Nancy: None of us are normal, get over it Edie: u reckon u ain't wait for all the inbreeding kids ur gonna have to pretend are cute Edie: snap snap Nancy: Again, what do you want me to do? Nancy: I can't stop them being together Nancy: It's not like I want them to be in love or get married Edie: sure no one can we're all so helpless Edie: enough people had the balls to say nah it's fucked Edie: then rio would stop, end of, we all know it Nancy: Or they'd run away like you have Nancy: That's made everyone really happy, like Edie: yeah ur welcome Edie: more drama to jack it to Nancy: You're so selfish Edie: what, and you're the only ones allowed? Edie: gasp Edie: everyone is out for themselves and harps on the others for doing it too Edie: keep up Nancy: That's how you see it 'cause that's how it suits you Edie: that's the spirit Nancy: Your mum had a good birthday, by the way Edie: didn't ask Edie: but unsurprised Nancy: I knew you wouldn't Nancy: Doesn't mean you shouldn't know Edie: that the best u got like Edie: i been knew she's the worst of all Nancy: You wish Edie: yeah i love having a cunt for a ma hbu babe Nancy: You do though Nancy: You love thinking you do anyway Edie: yh buzzin Edie: got it in one Edie: u really aren't the smart 1 damn Nancy: I've never tried to say I am Nancy: You've got the wrong twin there Nancy: I'm the stupid one, and again, aware Edie: 😥 Edie: good ting i ain't here for ur wisdom Nancy: Fuck knows what you are here for Nancy: Please go Edie: the craic Edie: i told u Edie: so funny Nancy: If I'm the best you've got Nancy: Poor you Edie: fucking hell mckenna Edie: no one ever gonna wanna fuck u with an attitude like that Nancy: The good thing about fucking is that you don't have to talk Edie: pillow princess Edie: figures Nancy: Oh so you like to be chatty with it? Okay Edie: just a suggestion Edie: u ain't all that to look at either wanna give 'em something to keep interest Nancy: I don't want them to stick around so it's fine Nancy: But you do you Edie: oh and i'm selfish Edie: just like ur brother Edie: cute Nancy: Didn't you get the memo Nancy: He's changed Edie: least he might be worth the ride now then Edie: good for him Nancy: Gross Nancy: I hope you don't want me to pass that message on Edie: keep it to yourself if that's how you vibing girl Nancy: I'd rather not hear it but you didn't ask Edie: just meeting your expectations Edie: i'm rude yeah Nancy: Like you're so offended Edie: 💔 Nancy: I think you have to have one, babe Edie: ya 'bullies' school you that zinger Edie: knew it weren't that bad Nancy: They were more about the homophobia Nancy: Unlikely to work on you Edie: it ain't the 70s who does it Nancy: If you wanna go to London and tell them Nancy: Still probably something they could do with learning Edie: how you know i aint Nancy: If you were in Chelsea you'd have more to laugh at than me and this conversation Edie: dun think we share a sense of humour Nancy: I can't say that 💔's me Edie: aw ain't it nice to find something that don't get you 😥 Edie: love that 4 u Nancy: Okay Edie: it's been real Edie: laters Nancy: I hope not Edie: dry Nancy: Honestly you'd be better off speaking Irish to me Edie: dryshite then Edie: 🍀 enough for ye Edie: like u local Nancy: At least now I don't have to pretend I know what you're talking about Nancy: Thanks Edie: just claim ur dyslexia like ur tryna cash ur giro Nancy: Yeah Edie: wonder if u can park disabled Nancy: I can't drive so I can't tell you Nancy: If you wanna try and claim it though, they'd likely believe you Edie: hahahaha u calling me disabled now for the punch of it Edie: victim complex strikes again n the bullied becomes the bully Edie: u easiest to wind up ever imma do this more Nancy: I'm calling you an idiot Nancy: And I'm blocking you so good luck Edie: aw dont do urself like that Edie: nother thing for u to feel sorry bout when i die n i was tryna reach out for help Nancy: Like you said, if anyone dies we hear about it Edie: too little too late mckenna Nancy: For you yeah Nancy: I'm not the Samaritans babe I can barely send a coherent text Edie: yh i heard Edie: her cousin goes to my school tried coming at me fore i left like i care bout u being a tick Nancy: Okay Nancy: I don't wanna talk about her with you so bye Edie: ooooooooooo Edie: touched a nerve Nancy: Obviously Edie: bah why Edie: thought u dont want em to stay Edie: such a bad bitch Nancy: Shut up Edie: hahahahaha Nancy: Seriously Edie: get a grip mckenna Edie: she ain't even a ride Nancy: I'm not doing this Edie: you're a joke man Edie: u don't care bout none of ur family enough to shut me up but i wanna chat on this shtate Edie: and suddenly u got a dick Edie: lmao Nancy: That isn't news either, keep up like Nancy: I can't shut up about them 'cause you've got a point Nancy: It doesn't mean I don't care Edie: 'course not Edie: put it away Edie: she got a real gf now Nancy: I know Nancy: She's had several actually Nancy: You're out of the loop Edie: what a slag Edie: have to be to let u when u ain't bringing nothing to the table by ur own admission Nancy: Thanks Nancy: Homophobia belongs in the 70s but this doesn't, the world according to Edie Mckenna, okay Edie: oh shut up germaine greer Edie: i ain't tryna get in ur pants u don't need to impress me with ur regurgitated feminism 101 from ro n my mother of all people Nancy: You're the one who's still talking and staying in my inbox past your welcome, like Edie: cos i can handle it Edie: u the one getting heated baby Nancy: Well done, you Edie: aw thank u Nancy: Good thing you don't need to impress me either Edie: by pretending it don't make u a bad person to drop your knickers quicker than u can pull up the last? Edie: original Edie: get ur own personality Nancy: We've established I do Nancy: And gone into all its flaws Nancy: Again, keep up Edie: lmao u think thats urs Edie: okay when uve stapled together pieces of every bitch u want to love u Nancy: If you say so Nancy: It must be true Edie: duh Edie: see it as a chance to be better Edie: u ain't loving this Edie: n no one else is Nancy: Yeah 'cause I really wanna improve myself based on your standards Edie: who said anything bout me Edie: ill never fuck w u mckenna Edie: u still gonna be dry whatever u do Nancy: You're the only one telling me to be better Nancy: So you are Edie: well ur rents gave up on that dream didn't dey Edie: pin all dat on ur bro Nancy: Yeah they did Nancy: Tell me something I don't know or shut up Edie: poor poor baby Edie: hit up sugar town, ur namesake was on to something w that one Edie: drew good for some lsd always Nancy: That'll really help, thanks so much, babe Edie: howd u kno Edie: pussy Edie: aint even fuckin right Nancy: I know that I've got a fucked up enough brain already Nancy: Not gonna disable myself more Edie: yh well they use it to treat depression so try it Edie: stop u whining so much Nancy: There's plenty of other ways if I was so inclined Nancy: So thoughtful though Edie: obvs Edie: u love it Edie: when u got nothing else babe Nancy: Whatever you say Edie: 😥 Nancy: I've gotta go cry now, obviously Nancy: So Edie: damn u cant multitask Edie: really out here strugglin' Edie: ttfn babe Nancy: Not the way I do it Nancy: I have to go all in, of course Nancy: So much sadness Edie: nah u about the most half-arsed of all of 'em i reckon Edie: really do better Edie: i believe in u Nancy: No you don't Edie: sure i do Edie: know dat dnt sit right w ur whole victim schtik but Edie: unlucky Nancy: It doesn't sit right with anything about you more like Nancy: But okay Edie: lmao yh Edie: u 1 of a kind Edie: so special so misunderstood Nancy: By you yeah Nancy: But that's fine by me Edie: bitch we know Edie: live 4 it Edie: get it Edie: anything to feel like u better than the rest Nancy: You're ridiculous Nancy: When's the last time you even spoke to me before this? You don't know anything Edie: whens the last time u spoke Edie: dont mean u an enigma Edie: no one as thick as u tryna paint me especially not me Nancy: It means I'm shy, bitch Nancy: That's all it means Edie: yea yea Nancy: Yeah well Edie: u should talk more Edie: fun Nancy: For you but Nancy: I don't like you so unlikely to happen Edie: 💔 Edie: who does Edie: even u aint that fucked up n lookin for the sympathy Nancy: Most of this family, more fool them Nancy: Something else I can't do anything about Edie: Tragic Nancy: Yeah Edie: that's what happens when u don't get out the clothes hanger, like Edie: hey ho, 'nother bastard for the pile Nancy: 💔 Edie: yeah gonna find it well jokes when its one u actually care abt Nancy: Sure Nancy: By your reckoning I live for the misery so I'll be thriving anyway Edie: only yr own Edie: gonna get in yr way Edie: can't really verbally smackdown a kid when you've had a few Edie: 'less you wanna be that, currently without a drunk in the fam so Nancy: Also according to you I won't be here Nancy: So feel free to take that role on Edie: i ain't a virgin Edie: drinking ain't even good craic Edie: keep up, mckenna Nancy: I don't care if it brings you joy or not Edie: 😂 Edie: ooh Edie: savage Nancy: I've already told you I don't like you Nancy: Keep up yourself Edie: i told u ion care Edie: why Edie: u reckon i shuld Nancy: No Nancy: I'd rather you didn't Edie: good Edie: how u got it baby Nancy: Yay for me, like Edie: 😂 Edie: christ Edie: crackin a smile rlly wud break u yh Nancy: For you, yeah Edie: just bitches who ain't into u Edie: rejection rlly hittin that spot i c Nancy: No, just you Nancy: You're enough of a bitch Edie: ray of sunshine Edie: everyone always be saying it Edie: honestly u lost ur point a while ago Nancy: That's what I do babe Nancy: Dyslexia 101 Edie: so sad Edie: enough brain training for today then sugar, peace Nancy: At least my lack of short term memory means I can forget this convo Nancy: Bye