#and then it ended with one of my favorite tracks by the smashing pumpkins | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fleshymunson · 7 months

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Smashing Pumpkins

eddie munson x afab!fem!reader

Summary: Eddie enjoys scaring you, and you decide to give him a taste of his own medicine. He comes home to find you sporting an unexpected accessory. Story Warnings: 18+ for adult themes, swearing, smut, oral (f receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, The Smashing Pumpkins slander Word Count: 2.5k Note: This is my first ever Kinktober contribution. Hope you enjoy!

Your quest for delicious payback begins with something innocuous: a movie night.

Eddie had secured a VHS of Pumpkinhead to celebrate the Halloween season, and he was buzzing with excitement to share one of his favorite horror films with you. Try as you might to be brave, you can’t hide your involuntary flinches as the movie’s demon wreaks havoc on the town.

Eddie wraps his arm behind you on the couch and croons, “Aww, is my girl afraid?”

You huff with fake bravado, “No! I wasn’t expecting- I was just surprised. I’m not afraid.” You stumble over your excuse, and Eddie sees right through your bluff.

“It’s okay, baby,” he placates while rubbing your shoulder. “I’ll protect you from that rotten monster.” His eyes return to the screen as he fights back his grin at seeing you so flustered.

You should have known your boyfriend well enough to realize that wouldn’t be the end of his teasing. Throughout the week, Eddie calls you his little pumpkin and takes great delight in imitating a particularly embarrassing shriek you made during the movie. The real clincher is when Eddie suggests a date at Merrill’s Pumpkin Patch the following week.

Your first stop is the corn maze. The tall cornstalks appear vast, surrounding you as you navigate the labyrinth together. A fork in the maze makes you pause, and you turn to ask Eddie which direction to take. However, you find yourself alone. “Eddie?” you call out to no avail, and your anxiety begins gnawing at you. Where did he go? He was just here a second ago. The sound of rustling behind you catches your attention, and you whirl around just in time to see a figure bursting through the stalks with a pumpkin held up to his head.

"Boo!" he bellows, causing you to rear back with a scream. The person lowers the pumpkin to the ground, and your boyfriend’s snickering face is revealed. He takes in your shocked expression with your hand pressed to your chest in a futile attempt to calm your erratic heartbeat. Eddie at least has the good sense to look ashamed. “I’m sorry, baby. I couldn’t resist. You’re so fun to mess with,” he says with a kiss to your forehead.

You’re so fun to mess with. His assessment rings out in your head, and at that moment, you vow to make him eat those words.

The date resumes with Eddie none the wiser about your scheming. You each select a pumpkin and make plans to create jack o’lanterns together after Eddie’s shift at Thatcher Tire.

What you don’t tell Eddie is that you’ll be getting a little head start on carving your pumpkin…

Later that evening, Eddie returns from work and immediately senses that something is amiss. The living room is dark, save for the soft glow of candles casting eerie shadows across the walls. The space feels cold, devoid of the warmth your presence normally brings him. He hangs his jacket and announces his arrival: “Babe, I’m home!”

He’s met with a ghostly silence.

“Babe?” he asks, voice laced with unease.

Concern begins to simmer in Eddie’s stomach when again he receives no response. He saw your car parked when he arrived home. You should be here. His footsteps echo in the quiet space as he cautiously makes his way farther inside, the anticipation of what might await him building with every step. He rounds the corner heading towards your shared bedroom, and he stops in his tracks when he sees the ominous figure looming by the bed.

“Shit!” he curses, stepping back viscerally. The sight before him startles him, and it takes a moment to decipher what he’s looking at. His eyes are first drawn to the pumpkin resting upon the person’s shoulders with its menacing grin and hollow eyes staring right at him, almost daring him to approach. His gaze travels downward, and he notes the body donning a silk robe. He recognizes that silhouette – he’d recognize it anywhere. You. “Fucking hell, sweetheart. You trying to kill me?”

You hesitate for a moment and consider whether your plan is too much. You remind yourself that Eddie’s playful nature is one of the things you love most about him. His roguish antics often encourage you to lean into your own impishness, and you must trust that he won’t find this too weird.

So, you don’t respond to his question. Instead, you open your robe to reveal the lingerie hiding beneath the silk. Your body is clad in black lace with a garter belt and stockings accentuating your legs. The stark contrast of seeing your body beautifully on display while a terrifying pumpkin’s face glares at him bewilders Eddie. For a moment, his mind teeters between attraction and fear.

Eddie has always heard there were two types of fear responses. Fight or flight. He’d like to add his own entry - fuck.

He visibly gulps, overcome with desire as his eyes devour you. “You are trying to kill me.” He reaches a shaky hand out to stroke your skin, but you step just out of reach.

You tut, “You’ve been teasing me all week. Do you really think you deserve to touch me?” The change in his demeanor is immediate. His shock morphs into a wolfish grin, and he plays his assigned role perfectly. “My sweet girl wants me to beg, is that right?” He approaches you and drops to his knees slowly, all while meeting your eye through the pumpkin carvings.

He exhales softly, “Please let me touch you.” His hand reaches out tentatively, aching to stroke your hip, but he pauses mid-reach. You give the slightest nod of approval, careful not to upend the pumpkin balanced precariously on your shoulders. His fingertips trace feather-light patterns against your skin. “Let me show you just how sorry I am. Let me worship this body like you deserve.”

His thumb strokes against the edge of your panties, until it trails lower towards the tops of your stockings. He looks up at you as he plays with the garter’s clasps before whispering, “I want these thighs wrapped around my head as I devour this pretty pussy. Will you let me?”

Eddie is keenly attuned to your body signals, and he observes the way it shivers at his words. He unclasps the garter belt’s suspenders and lowers your stocking tantalizingly slow while leaving a trail of kisses down your leg. He repeats the process on the other side, and you grow wet with anticipation. “So fucking pretty for me,” he praises.

Your resolve crumbles when he looks up at you through his thick lashes. You want to be strong and hold out for longer just to extend his torture a bit, but those umber eyes are impossible to deny. Eddie can sense your will dissolving and moves in for the kill. He nuzzles his nose into the front of your panties and inhales deeply. “Let me show you that I deserve to fuck this cunt.”

Your nipples harden, straining against the lace of your bra as you whisper, "Prove it." The command lacks bite, but you’ll both continue playing along. Eddie rises to his feet and kisses your shoulder as he lowers the straps of your bra. He unhooks the band, letting it fall to the floor.

You stand before him naked, and the cool October air pebbles your skin. “Perfect,” he breathes. He gently ushers you towards the bed, and you reach up to remove the pumpkin. Eddie gently grabs your wrist to halt your movement. “The pumpkin stays on.”

You laugh in disbelief. “Eddie, I can barely see with this thing on.”

He strokes his thumb against your wrist before joking, “I know, but that jagged mouth is really doing it for me right now. Plus, it adds to the excitement.” You both laugh as Eddie assists you in laying back due to the weight of the pumpkin threatening to topple you. “Careful,” he soothes as you make yourself comfortable.

In this position, you won’t be able to look at Eddie without straining your neck; all you can see is the pale shadow of your ceiling through the pumpkin’s crude eyeholes. You hear him removing his clothes before joining you on the bed, and you lament that you can’t see his body just yet. But then, he caresses your thigh, and you realize that Eddie is correct. The obstructed view is reminiscent of a blindfold, and your sense of touch is heightened.

Eddie hooks his fingers into the waistband of your underwear to remove them. “Oh sweetheart, look how wet you are for me already,” he coos, seeing your pussy bare before him.

His calloused hands gently coax your thighs further apart, and he nestles himself between them. You sigh as Eddie presses hot, open-mouthed kisses on your lower stomach. He crawls down your body, taking his time to suck and bite at your inner thighs. His kisses grow sloppier with urgency as he nears your core. He moves lower and lower until he’s whispering against your mound. “I want to make you feel so good.”

Your body trembles eagerly waiting for Eddie to give you what you so desperately crave. You gasp as he licks a long stripe up your slit and his tongue explores your folds. Mercifully, Eddie doesn’t tease you for very long. Your needy moans reverberate against the inside of the pumpkin as Eddie wraps his lips around your throbbing bundle of nerves.

“Eddie, please,” you whimper. It’s not lost on you that the tables have turned and you’re now the one begging, “Just like that.” His fleshy mouth vibrates with moans around your clit as you praise him.

You whine as he pulls away briefly to whisper, “You taste so good. So fucking good.” You blindly reach down to grab at his curls, urging him to return to pleasuring your clit. His fingers circle your hole, and he eases two of them into you. The cool sensation of his rings shocks you as he buries his fingers to the hilt, pumping them into you in tandem with his sucking. “More, I need more,” you pant out. You squirm as your pleasure grows, and Eddie takes this as his cue to curl his fingers inside you.

You’re suddenly aware of the mattress shaking, and you muster your strength to lift your head in search of the source. The view is well worth bearing the weight of the pumpkin. Eddie is humping against the bed in a desperate attempt to bring himself some relief. You moan at the sight, “You feel so good, Eddie.”

He increases his efforts, swirling his tongue with more intensity than before. The edge of the pumpkin digs into your neck as you arch your back, overcome with passion. “Cum for me, baby. Cum all over my face,” he urges. His name echoes within the pumpkin’s walls as you climax.

Your senses return to you as you float down from your high, and you become aware that Eddie is still grinding against the mattress. “Have I earned this cunt yet?” he whines.

“Yes, fuck yes. Want your cock so badly.” Your affirmation has Eddie rushing to action, but you stop him by sitting up. “I want to see you fucking me. Either this goes,” You point to the pumpkin, “or we find another way to work this. I need to see your face when you cum.”

You watch through the pumpkin’s crudely carved eyes as Eddie’s expression turns sly. “Is that so?” he asks coyly. He takes your hand and leads you to the dresser and mirror across the room. Your reflection reveals just how ludicrous you look in nothing but a pumpkin head. You giggle at both the sight and Eddie’s fingers gliding down your side, tickling you in their wake. A gasp interrupts your laughter as Eddie’s fingers begin rubbing your sensitive clit while he stares at you through the mirror. “I think this will do just nicely,” he decides.

He bends you over the dresser, and you yelp as his palm connects with your ass. His rings sting your skin, and he revels in the way your cheek bounces. “Naughty little girl, carving your pumpkin without me. We were supposed to do that together,” he mocks. “I guess I’ll just have to recreate my favorite part of making a jack o’lantern. Gonna get into this pretty little hole and rearrange these guts.”

Eddie eases his length into you, and you watch through the mirror as his head falls back with pleasure. The tendons of his neck are gloriously on display, and you wish you could rip the pumpkin off to sink your teeth into his neck. The girth of Eddie’s cock stretches you deliciously, and you meet his thrusts eagerly while mewling.

He sets a punishing pace, and the momentum of his thrusts pushes you pumpkin-first into the mirror. “Shit, babe, are you okay?” he pauses his movements to check on you, but he’s met with your laughter.

“I thought you said you hated that Smashing Pumpkins album. And here you are trying to be just like them.”

Eddie rolls his eyes in response, which makes you laugh even harder. He groans, “I can feel you clenching every time you laugh. You’re squeezing my cock so fucking good.” He returns to fucking you in earnest, and the filthy sound of your skin slapping together fills the air.

You can feel the inkling of another orgasm approaching, and you know Eddie isn’t far behind. “Come on, pumpkin. I want one more from you,” he urges. You whine at his command, already so sensitive from your first orgasm. You reach down and roughly circle your clit with your fingers. That stimulation paired with Eddie’s thrusts push you over the edge for a second time, and you nearly collapse on the dresser. Eddie’s pace becomes sloppy as he chases his orgasm.

“On your knees,” he instructs brusquely. His words surprise and electrify you as you realize what he’s about to do. The sordid image your mind conjures up is enough to make you throb with need, even after you’ve just cum. You’re quick to lower yourself on shaky legs, the carpet coarse on your knees. Eddie pumps himself over you and cums with a guttural moan. Despite sporting a pumpkin on your head, you open your mouth and lay out your tongue instinctively. You’re rewarded as Eddie’s cum drips through the carvings into your awaiting mouth. The salty release coats your tongue, and you swallow every droplet you can catch.

You chastise him coyly, “Eddie, you’re supposed to remove the seeds from a jack o’lantern, not add more.” Laughter brightens his face, and he helps you finally remove the pumpkin.

“Please scare me like this more often,” Eddie says breathlessly. He leans in to lick the corner of your mouth where his cum has dripped onto your face. His lips press to yours in a searing kiss to share the taste of him on his tongue.

“You’re so fun to mess with,” you echo those fateful words back to him.

Later, Eddie proudly displays the pumpkin on your porch. It's a grisly sight with its dent from where you crashed into the mirror. And while your neighbors can't tell, you know that it's been covered in his cum. You try to insist on creating a more attractive pumpkin, but Eddie hushes you with a kiss. “It’s gourdgeous. Our very own little jack off lantern.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x afab!fem!reader #eddie munson x f!reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson blurb #eddie x reader #eddie munson smut #kinktober 2023 #eddie munson x fem!reader #kinktober

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hinataoc · 10 months

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KHOC Week Day 2 - New World

HEY! It’s the second day of @khoc-week Wooooo

So I have a lot to share for this. But I’m going to focus on the age old favorite of Halloween Town, because that’s where I just finished writing them at in FT.

First, I want to start with Hinata. She arrived first in Halloween Town, along with Axel and Riku. They were in pursuit of a Replica and formed a shaky alliance to track her down. When they arrived all three of them got completely different looks. Hinata was mostly unhappy with hers, while Riku and Axel ended up looking pretty cool.

I have this incredible piece by @amyhayanora that depicts them in their outfits from a scene in The Forgotten Traveler Chapter 17

Next is Sam. The poor thing does not have good luck with the ship’s magic drive. For some reason, she doesn’t get to be fully human. There is a reason, it’s just spoilers and such. Anyway, I am a huge fan of Legend of Zelda and when I think of the creatures in Nightmare Before Christmas I always think of the fish guy. So Sam got a fishy experience.

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Excerpt from The Forgotten Traveler Chapter 19—

(note: remember that crazy robot B.E.N from Treasure Planet? yeah he travels with them)

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Halloween Town was just as gloomy as the name would suggest. Gravestones and gargoyles stood intertwined with black thorny vines and rotting pumpkins. In the center of the field was a hill that curled into itself at the end, the entire thing silhouetted by the full moon.

"I didn't think this place would take its name so literally." Sam sidestepped a smashed pumpkin, gagging at the sight of rats and maggots devouring its remains. "I don't even want to know how it made me look."

"Yeeeah, that's probably for the best," Ben assured her, a few steps ahead as he scanned the area for any signs of Riku and Hinata. He had made it off nearly scot-free from the magic drive, spare for a darker shade of rust, a brighter, eerie glow to his eyes, and crusted blood splattered over his joints. "If you ask me—"

"I didn't," Sam reminded him, but he continued regardless.

"—I'd say you'd be better off under water." He tapped his chin. "Maaaaybe near Neverland! I hear there's plenty of sea monsters there. If DiZ's world encyclopedias are anything to go by, which"—he laughed—"why wouldn't they be, amiright?"

Sam inwardly groaned, stopping mid step and allowing Ben to continue on as he walked further and further away. "Of course I get stuck with him tagging along," she grumbled under her breath, reaching up her hand to rub her hair. Then she paused, realizing there was no hair to touch. Instead, her fingers were met with a slick, slimy skin that reminded her of touching a fish left too long on the counter— something she had done one too many times. "Oh come on!" She held out her hand in front of her, seeing the bluish tint to her now long webbed fingers. Suddenly, Ben's comments on her belonging with other sea monsters didn't seem so far-fetched.

"Don't say I didn't warn you!" Ben called back to her, his hands cupped around his mouth.

Sam clenched her hands at her sides, shutting her eyes tight and taking in a long deep breath. "Please tell me Velcia's coming down soon."

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Yeeeeah... she got to be based on a zombified zora. Sorry Sam.

Velcia though, my husband had the coolest design idea for her and I was so excited to get the chance to draw it.

An amazing ghost witch! She’s a potion maker by trade in Thebes, so it just fits so perfectly! All the ingredients hanging from the dress’ threads, the potions eerily glowing and dangling from the branches, ahhh so cool! I really need to up my design game. My husband has me beat.

Here is some more art I have of Hinata in her Halloween Town look. It was originally designed by someone on DeviantArt by the name of VelvetCookieVT. I hosted an art contest for participants to design a new world outfit for Hinata, and whoever won would get their outfit and world choice put into the story. I held the contest years ago and it just finally got put in. Anyway, here is the original artwork of Hinata’s Halloween Town look.

I was absolutely in love with it. Hinata was not lol! But she managed.

Also, bonus of Hinata’s Christmas Town look that was co designed by me and @amyhayanora.

OBSESSED

#khocweek2023 #kingdom hearts #khoc #Hina-Draws

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dancing-to-architecture · 11 months

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34 - The Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

THE album that got me through high school.

No joke, there was a week in my life, i want to say Junior year, where i listened to the song "1979" *at least* a hundred times. I most certainly hung down with the freaks and ghouls.

Also, this is a Double Album, so buckle in, because this is gonna be a *long* one.

(editing afterwards: yeah, it took me over a week to get through. Who'd have figured this one would have some pretty heavy shit associated with it that would put me in a really bad headspace for a while?)

Actually cutting this one, because I'm not THAT much of an asshole.

[Dawn to Dusk]

•Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness-

Such a simple little piano piece, but so pretty, and then the other layers start coming in and it continues to ascend. Up there on my all-time favorite intro tracks list.

•Tonight, Tonight-

The song that made me want to be a drummer. Jimmy Chamberlain beats the shit out of his drum set all towards the end of this one, but in a way that almost feels...polite.

The violins and cello soar throughout the entirety, this song really wouldn't be as amazing without them.

Regardless of how you may feel about Billy Corgan's voice, if these lyrics don't resonate with you, then congratulations on being the happiest person to exist.

The longing, the wanting to be wanted, the dread of the possibility of misplaced hope, the terror that these might be the best days of your life, but you won't notice until much, much later...

Now, if only we could get on with that "crucifying the insincere" business.

•Jellybelly-

This riff is a fucking killer.

I've always associated this one with optimistic nihilism. Everything's fucked, we're trapped in the belly of the beast, there's no way out, but there's nothing stopping us from doing whatever we want *because* nothing matters.

•Zero-

The bass line to end all bass lines.

More nihilism, but much less optimistic this time. More of a "she's here and she makes me happy and that's literally the only thing in the world that matters at this point" vibe.

•Here Is No Why-

The malaise of the star. Rich and famous and a household name and utterly, utterly depressed. I might be*the only one* who thinks this, but i kinda always saw this song as a kind of weird goodbye ode to Kurt Cobain, who's basically the poster boy for 'rock stars who never, ever wanted to actually be famous'.

•Bullet With Butterfly Wings-

Show me a better opening line than "The world is a vampire, sent to drain."

I used to like this song a lot more as a teenager than i do nowadays, likely because at this point it feels like: "what are you rebelling against?" "What do you got?!"

Just lashing out at anyone and anything, but ultimately it really doesn't matter and was a waste of time, effort, and anger. You're still just a rat in a cage.

•To Forgive-

A lot more chill musically after Bullet, but the lyrics are way harsher, talking about loss and pain and childhood trauma.

"I sensed my loss, before i even learned to talk.

And i remember my birthdays,

Empty party afternoons won't come back."

We moved *a lot* when i was a kid (5 schools in 6 years), so i was always the New Kid, Weird Kid, don't talk to him, we don't know him, shun him and maybe he'll leave.

This one always hit me hard.

•Fuck You (An Ode To No One)-

Back to the heavy riffs, back to angry Billy.

The constant New Kid finally hits high school and hasn't moved again, and he hates everybody because everybody hated him for years, but he hates himself the most because he simply cannot leave.

"Destroy the mind, destroy the body, but you cannot destroy the heart.

I don't need your love to disconnect."

•Love-

Fun fact: the guitar is so fuzzy and distorted that the first time i heard this song i thought my headphones had just broken.

Possibly Billy at his most nasal.

Last song i screamed that i didn't *need* your love, but that doesn't mean that i don't *want* it.

The heavily distorted guitar tones sound great throughout the song, but the solo rules.

•Cupid de Locke-

When i say "i love strings in rock music", I'm typically referring to the violin or the cello, (or the double bass if you're TRULY nasty), but i have to say that the harp is a truly underrated instrument these days: incredibly pretty, but incredibly difficult to play well, and it's played so well here.

The lyrics kinda feel like Billy tried his hand at some Shakespeare, and it mostly works.

•Galapogos-

This one hits me a lot harder now than it did when I was a kid, but who could expect a fifteen year old to really get a line like: "and tell me, am i still the man I'm supposed to be?"

But now? That line really resonates with the layers of self-doubt and revulsion that i have utilized as armor for the last 20 or so years, not to mention the more modern confusion and realization regarding things like gender and sexuality.

"And should i fall from grace, here with you,

Will you leave me, too?"

•Muzzle-

And the first line of this one continues the feeling of inadequacy from the last song:

"I fear that i am ordinary, just like everyone."

Without trauma-dumping, lemme just say this one hits close to home.

"I know that i am meant for this world."

Another one where Jimmy is beating the absolute shit out of those drums.

The end of it just feels like the prettiest, nicest ego-annihilating trip ever, to be honest.

•Porcelina of the Vast Oceans-

This intro is so pretty, but it's also interminably slow.

This was honestly one i usually skipped back in the day.

Billy is just being really extra Billy through most of the verses, and though James, D'arcy and Jimmy go ham throughout at least half of the 9 whole damn minutes of it, it's not quite enough to save us from Billy's poetry.

(My phone autocorrected that last word to pussy and you will not BELIEVE the strength it took to fix it.)

And then, an equally long outro and we're almost *halfway* done!

•Take Me Down-

I was always in love with James Iha's voice.

A ver sweet little song, almost a lullaby. If you have never felt like this, i feel bad for you.

Man, i just don't like that last line though.

[Twilight to Starlight]

•Where Boys Fear To Tread-

I LOVE this whole intro. What a great way to start the second half of the album. Doom_barrel_explosion.wav usage and everything. WAKE THE FUCK BACK UP.

This one IS heavy enough to save us from Billy's poetry.

•Bodies-

•Thirty-Three-

One my favorite Smashing Pumpkins songs, though like The List, mutable positioning is always involved.

Certainly one of the prettiest, imo.

This one is really tied with 1979 for "lyrics that could be a chapter from my biography", just... Very different chapters.

•In The Arms Of Sleep-

No joke: the title is correct. This was on a sleep-themed mix CD i had back in the day, just to have music on but nothing that would be too jarring.

Which is really selling this one short, because it's mellow but gorgeous.

•1979-

A song i have literally done speeches about. One of my all-time favorite songs.

One of my favorite music videos. This song is "high school". It's "adolescence", in all of its ups and downs and confusion and depression and (possible, occasional) glory.

•Tales Of A Scorched Earth-

This might be one of the hardest intros on this whole damn album, possibly one of e heaviest songs overall.

Angry Billy at his best, imo. This song is so fucking mad at everyone.

•Thru The Eyes Of Ruby-

I always figured this was about commitment anxiety, especially with the lines with marriage symbolism.

Really cool instrumentation that gets harder as it goes.

•Stumbeline-

Funny thing, the last song was 7 minutes long, but this one FEELS 7 minutes long. Acoustic strumming and more of Billy's poetry. There are some good lines in this one, but a lot of not great ones. 🤷

•X.Y.U.-

Another rather heavy song with some pretty dark lyrics.

And i apologize for an earlier mistake, THIS is the heaviest song on this album.

I liked this one more when i was a kid, but that was also when i was really into nu-metal, so...

•We Only Come Out At Night-

So, i have spent quite a few years working in the arena of late-night pizza, as well as made attempts at being some kind of warrior/poet, and this song feels incredibly accurate to large parts of my life.

"It's goofy, but i love it anyway." -how i feel about this song, also, words my wife has likely said about me.

•Beautiful-

This sounds like the kind of song that might get accidentally played at a wedding because they only half-heard half of the lyrics and didn't realize it's about a stalker.

•Lily (My One And Only)-

One of the better-written songs about a Peeping Tom, in that by the time you realize what's actually going on in the song, it's already almost over.

•By Starlight-

I really like this one overall, but the dead eyes parts makes me think of Jaws. (Dead eyes, like a doll's eyes...)

Did...did Billy fall in love with a shark?

•Farewell and Goodnight-

Another almost lullaby song, and it's really nice and peaceful with the whooshing noises and hand drumming throughout.

More of James singing is always nice, and D'arcy has a pretty voice as well. Man, i forgot how much i liked this one, and the return of the leitmotif in the very first song is such a nice closing to the album, very circular.

Okay... this album has taken me DAYS to get through (thanks ADHD) and it's finally done. Now... to power through the backlog.

Okay, Spotify, this album is long enough already, do we really need the super hyper deluxe edition with 4 ½ extra *hours* of demos, other takes or arrangements?

Who wants this? How often is any of it actually listened to by humans? Why the fuck can't i just listen to the regular, no frills, no demos, standard-ass version of this album?

Gripes with corporations aside, this is on my top 20 all-time favorite albums list.

(Do not ask to see the list, manifesting the concrete existence of the list is like nailing down your shadow.)

For better or worse, this album had a hand in shaping my adolescence.

It's safe to say that i might have been a better person overall during my 20s had i never heard this album.

There are some songs on it that are very likely to be going through my head on my deathbed. I will carry this album with me for the rest of my life.

Which is why it is sucks that Billy Corgan is such an asshole! In this TED Talk i....

#1001 albums #dancing to architecture #smashing pumpkins #mellon collie and the infinite sadness

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theficpusher · 2 years

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the sound of my heart needs the sound of another heart by momentofclarity | G | 2776 In the summer of '83, Louis is fifteen years old and in love.

this is my jam by disgruntledkittenface | M | 4513 The guy’s eyes are so blue that Harry can’t tear his gaze away, even as he moves to the beat. The searing light shade is magnetic; he finds himself leaning in and yelling, “This is my jam!” only to earn a laugh from thin pink lips that Harry’s definitely going to be dreaming about tonight. “Your jam?” When the guy yells back over the music, his blue eyes sparkling and his lips twisted in a smirk, Harry’s chest literally puffs out with pride at earning his attention. His obvious approval. Tongue-tied, Harry nods and closes his eyes as he lets go, the music reverberating around them. All of the usual inhibitions that keep him in the corner at parties fall away and he bounces around the center of the dance floor, waving his arms above his head. Somehow his towel stays on, even as he starts to think he wouldn’t mind if it fell off. Fuck it. He finally made it here, he’s damn well going to enjoy it. Harry goes to a gay bathhouse for the first time. 90s AU.

beneath the sound of hope by YesIsAWorld | E | 6620 After Louis Tomlinson leaves the set of the Smashing Pumpkins’ “1979” music video, it’s not the band or the experience that he can’t stop thinking about—it’s the curly-haired boy he met while filming. Determined to track that same boy down, he sets off on a short journey and ends up figuring out some truths about himself along the way.

BLVD by kingsofeverything | E | 12091 It’s the first week of summer break and Harry just wants to relax and enjoy his vacation in Myrtle Beach. If only he could stop making an ass of himself.

honey, honey by resurrectdead | E | 13194 It just feels weird to not be able to tell his own mum about how nervous yet over the fucking moon happy he is right now, because this tape isn’t for neither Niall nor Liam. It’s for, well. It’s for Harry bloody Styles. The boy that makes his insides feel like sunshine. Or: It’s 1988, and Louis has to make a mixtape for Harry

enter exit (enter) by louisandthealien | M | 17534 When he’s finally in the hotel, crammed into the tiny phone booth, all he can do is stare at the faded paper sign glaring down at him from the wall. 1 Minute = 11.82 USD Mexico --> United States He has less than a minute to break his boyfriend’s heart, and it’s going to cost him twelve bucks to do it. There’s sand under his fingernails as he dials the number.

Let The Boys All Sing And The Boys All Shout For Tomorrow by Lunarrua | M | 18429 It's February 1988. Thatcher is in power. There's a new drug sweeping through the clubbing scene. In Manchester, it's the eve of a major protest and a new musical movement. And when Nick finds Harry looking lost outside his favourite chip shop, it's the start of a weekend that will leave an indelible mark on both their lives.

I Just Want You to Know Who I Am by gettingaphdinlarry | nr | 21729 It's Niall Horan's senior year and it's going to be great. He's got a solid group of friends, a new job, and he gets to take his favorite class again, as long as he keeps a journal his creative writing teacher will never read. When his crush takes the same class, he's glad he has something to confide in. Even if that something is a notebook that can't talk back.

Among Lavender Fields by homosociallyyours | E | 70354 At twenty-one, Louis Tomlinson is more than ready to shed the girl next door image that's been with her since her entry into film in her childhood, but with a mother and father steeped in Hollywood tradition it's felt impossible. Meanwhile, Harry Styles is a young, struggling musician new to London, friendless yet eager for the next phase of her life to begin. When French director Marie Coutard casts the two of them in her film, it's a chance for both to break away from the people they've been. Together, they struggle through an acting process that's new and unfamiliar for both of them, learning more than they could've imagined about themselves along the way. As they spend long days picking lavender and long nights sharing the things they've never been able to tell anyone else, their love blooms. Will the flower fade, or will the love they make among lavender fields be one they carry with them to the end?

#1980s/1990s #Among Lavender Fields #homosociallyyours #I Just Want You to Know Who I Am #gettingaphdinlarry #Lunarrua #Let The Boys All Sing And The Boys All Shout For Tomorrow #louisandthealien #enter exit (enter)#resurrectdead #honey honey #kingsofeverything #blvd #YesIsAWorld #beneath the sound of hope #disgruntledkittenface #this is my jam #the sound of my heart needs the sound of another heart #momentofclarity

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shallowmagics · 2 years

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— *•̩̩͙ friday prompts ♔ playlists •̩̩͙*˚ —

make a playlist you think your muse would curate to be their ‘comfort’ playlist!

i’m only going to keep this to five songs each so the post isn’t too long!

cirilla rivia

People are Strange - The Doors Runaway - Aurora Ophelia - The Lumineers Social Cues - Cage the Elephant Afraid - The Neighbourhood

Ciri, once she gets the hang of being in the modern era, absolutely becomes a tumblr, 2014 indie kid in terms of her music taste.

james potter

Don’t Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult London Calling - The Clash Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival This Charming Man - The Smiths 1979 - Smashing Pumpkins

James was only introduced to Muggle music a little later in life, through Remus, Peter, and Lily! He fell in love with a lot of the ‘lighter’ rock songs, not too heavy on guitar or back tracks

link faron

NFWMB - Hozier The Chain - Fleetwood Mac The Blood - The Cure Work Song - Hozier The Violence - Rise Against

Link tends to veer towards songs and bands we consider ‘witchy’ now, often liking songs with simple melodies.

lestat de lioncourt

Spellbound - Siouxsie and the Banshees Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge Bela Lugosi’s Dead - Bauhaus Enjoy the Silence - Depeche Mode Wanna Be Your Slave - Maneskin

I don’t care what the Queen of the Damned movie put in for the band’s music, Lestat fell in love with goth rock the moment they woke up in the 80s. Their taste has since modernized, but Siouxsie will always be a favorite. Also Maneskin, because they just get Lestat.

rey skywalker

This is The End - Anti-Flag Prayer of the Refugee - Rise Against Deceptacon - Le Tigre Headstrong - Trapt I Will Not Bow - Breaking Benjamin

When Rey had her fake memories, she often gravitated toward punk music without understanding why. After she started remembering, she knew why. They managed to encapsulate and eloquently portray her anger.

rhiannon galway

Gold Dust Woman - Fleetwood Mac Sunlight - Hozier Meet Me In The Woods - Lord Huron Spanish Mary - New Basement Tapes Parting Glass - Hozier cover

Rhiannon actually doesn’t like a lot of music. Fleetwood Mac is the only one she can think of off the top of her head, having taken her first name from their song.

shepard love

Come Together - The Beatles Dock Of A Bay - Otis Redding Starman - David Bowie All Along the Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix Under Pressure - Queen

I headcanon that while Shep was on his cross-country road trips to see all his friends, the only stations that had the best signal were all the classic rock and 70s-90s stations. He eventually stopped changing the station and learned the playlists to nearly every station.

stephanie brown

Black Sheep - Metric Thank You For the Venom - My Chemical Romance Miss Missing You - Fall Out Boy Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood Untouched - The Veronicas

Steph is 100% a recovering emo kid. That’s it.

#// prompts \\#tw: flashing gif

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sinceileftyoublog · 3 years

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Riot Fest 2021: 9/16-9/19, Douglass Park

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Much like Pitchfork Music Festival earlier this month, this past weekend’s Riot Fest felt relatively normal. Arriving at Douglas Park every day, you were greeted by the usual deluge of attendees in Misfits t-shirts and dyed hair, the sound of faint screams and breakneck guitars and drums emanating from nearby stages. The abnormal aspects of the fest, at least as compared to previous incarnations, we’re already used to by now from 2021 shows: To get in, you had to show proof of vaccination and/or a negative test no older than 48 hours, which means that unvaxxed 4-day attendees had to get multiple tests. Props to the always awesome staff at Riot Fest for actually checking the cards against the names on government-issued IDs.

For a festival that dealt with a plethora of last-minute changes due to bands dropping out because of COVID-19 caution (Nine Inch Nails, Pixies, Dinosaur Jr.) or other reasons (Faith No More/Mr. Bungle because of concerns around Mike Patton’s well-being), there were very few bumps in the road. Whether Riot Fest had bands like Slipknot, Anthrax, or Rise Against in their back pocket as replacements or not, it very much felt like who we saw Thursday-Sunday was always supposed to be the lineup, even when laying your eyes on countless “Death to the Pixies” shirts. Sure, one of the fest’s main gimmicks--peeling back the label on Goose Island’s Riot Fest Sucks Pale Ale to reveal the schedule--was out of date with inaccurate set times and bands, and it still would have been so had Faith No More and Mr. Bungle stayed, since Fucked Up had to drop out last minute due to border issues. But the festival, as always, rolled with the punches.

The sets themselves offered the circle pit and crowdsurfing-inducing punk and metal you’re used to, with a few genre outliers. For so many bands of all styles, Riot Fest represented their first live show in years, and a few acts knew the exact number of days since their last show. For every single set, the catharsis in the crowd and on stage was palpable, not exactly anger, or elation, but pure release.

Here were our favorite sets of the festival, in chronological order.

WDRL

Last October, WDRL (which, amazingly, stands for We Don’t Ride Llamas) announced themselves with a Tweet: “y’all been looking for an alt black band,, well here you go”. A band of Gen Z siblings, Chase (lead guitar), Max (lead vocals), Blake (drums), and Kit Mitchell (bass guitar), WDRL is aware, much like Meet Me @ The Altar (who, despite my hyping, I couldn’t make it in time to see) that they’re one of too few bands of POCs in the Riot Fest-adjacent scene. Their set, one of the very first of the weekend during Thursday’s pre-party, showed them leading by example, the type of band to inspire potentially discouraged Black and brown folks to start punk bands. Max is a terrific vocalist, able to scream over post-punk, scat over funk, and coo over slow, soulful R&B swayers with the same ease. The rest of the band was equally versatile, able to pivot on a dime from scuzzy rock to hip hop to twinkling dream pop. Bonus points for covering Splendora’s “You’re Standing On My Neck”, aka the Daria theme song.

Joyce Manor

Joyce Manor’s self-titled debut is classic. The best part of it as an album play-through at a festival? It’s so short that you can hear it and you’ll still have half a set for other favorites. So while the bouncy “Orange Julius”", “Ashtray Petting Zoo”, and ultimate singalong “Constant Headache” were set highlights, the Torrance, CA band was able to burn through lots from Never Hungover Again, Cody, Million Dollars to Kill Me, and their rarities collection Songs From Northern Torrance. Apart from not playing anything from Of All Things I Will Soon Grow Tired (seriously, am I the only one who loves that record?), Joyce Manor were stellar, from the undeniable hooks of “Heart Tattoo” to the churning power chords of “Catalina Fight Song”. After playing “Christmas Card”, Johnson and company gave one final nod to the original fest cancellation, My Chemical Romance, who were slated to headline 2020, then 2021, and now 2022. If you ever wondered what it would sound like hearing a concise punk band like Joyce Manor take on the bombast of “Helena”, you found out. Hey, it was actually pretty good!

Patti Smith

Behold: a full Patti Smith set! After being shafted by the weather last time around, a sunglasses-laden Smith decided not to fuck around, leading with the inspiring “People Have The Power”, her voice as powerful as I’ve ever heard it. Maybe it was the influence of Riot Fest, but she dropped as many f-bombs as Corey Taylor did during Slipknot’s Sunday night headlining set. After reluctantly signing an adoring crowd member’s copy of Horses, she quipped, “I feel bad for you have to cart that fucking thing around.” It wasn’t just the filthy banter: This was Smith at her most enraptured and incendiary, belting during “Because The Night” and spitting during a “Land/Gloria” medley, reciting stream-of-consciousness hallucinogenic lyrics about the power of escape in the greatest display of stamina the festival had to offer.

Circa Survive

“It feels good to dance,” declared Circa Survive lead singer Anthony Green. The heart and soul of the Philadelphia rock band, who cover ground from prog rock to post-hardcore and emo, Green was in full form during the band’s early Friday set, his falsetto carrying the rolling “The Difference Between Medicine and Poising Is in the Dose” and the chugging “Rites of Investiture”. While the band, too, can throw down, they’re equally interesting when softer and more melodic, Brendan Ekstrom‘s twinkling guitars lifting “Child of the Desert” and “Suitcase”. Ending with the one-two punch of debut Juturna’s introspective “Act Appalled” and Blue Sky Noise’s skyward “Get Out”, Green announced the band would have a new record coming soon, one you hope will cover the sonic and thematic ground of even just those two tracks.

Thrice

Thrice played their first show since February 2020 the same day they’d release their 11th studio album, Horizons/East (Epitaph). To a crowd of fans that came to hear their favorite songs, though, the Irvine, California band knew better than to play a lot of the new record, instead favoring tracks like The Artist in the Ambulance’s spritely title cut and Vheissu standout “The Earth Will Shake”. Yeah, they led with a Horizons/East song making its live debut, the dreamy, almost Deftones-esque “Scavengers”, and later in the set they’d reveal the impassioned “Summer Set Fire to the Rain”. But the set more prominently served to emphasize lead vocalist Dustin Kensrue’s gruff delivery, on “All the World Is Mad” and “in Exile”, the rhythm section’s propulsive playing buoying his fervency. And how about Teppei Teranishi’s finger tapping on “Black Honey”?!? Thrice often favor the slow build-up, but they offered plenty of individually awesome moments.

Smashing Pumpkins

William Patrick Corgan entered the stage to dramatic strings, dressed in a robe, with white face paint except for red hearts under his eyes. He looked like a ghost. That’s pretty much where the semi-serious theatricality ended. The Smashing Pumpkins’ first Chicago festival headlining set in recent memory was the rawest they’ve sounded in a while, counting when they played an original lineup-only set at the United Center a few years back. It was also the most fun I’ve ever seen Corgan have on stage. Though they certainly selected and debuted from their latest electropop turn Cyr, Corgan, guitarist James Iha, drummer Jimmy Chamberlin, guitarist Jeff Schroeder, and company more notably dug deep into the vault, playing Gish’s “Crush” for the first time since 2008, Adore’s “Shame” for the first time since 2010, and Siamese Dream barnburner “Quiet” for the first time since 1994 (!). Best, every leftfield disco jam like set opener “The Colour Of Love”, “Cyr”, and “Ramona” was quickly followed by something heavy and/or recognizable, Chamberlin’s limber drum solos elevating even latter-day material like “Solara”. At one point, Corgan, a self-described “arty fuck,” admitted that years ago he would have opted for more experimental material, but he knew the crowd wanted to hear classics, the band then delving into a gorgeous acoustic version of “Tonight, Tonight”. And while Kate Bush coverer Meg Myers came out to sing Lost Highway soundtrack industrial ditty “Eye”, it was none other than legendary local shredder Michael Angelo Batio who stole the show, joining for the set closer, a pummeling version of Zeitgeist highlight “United States”. Leaning into the cheese looks good on you, Billy.

The Bronx

Credit to L.A. punk rock band The Bronx, playing early on a decidedly cooler Saturday early afternoon, for making me put in my earplugs outside of the photo pit. Dedicating “Shitty Future” to Fucked Up (who, as we mentioned, had to drop out), the entire band channeled Damian Abraham’s energy on piercing versions of “Heart Attack American” as well as “Superbloom” and “Curb Feelers” from their latest album Bronx VI (Cooking Vinyl). Joby J. Ford and Ken Horne’s guitars stood out, providing choppy rhythms on “Knifeman” and swirling solos on “Six Days A Week”.

Big Freedia

The New Orleans bounce artist has Big Diva Energy, for the most part. After her DJ pumped up the crowd to contemporary Southern rap staple “Ayy Ladies” by Travis Porter, Big Freedia walked out and showed that “BDE”, firing through singles like “Platinum” and “N.O. Bounce” as her on-stage dancers’ moves ranged from delicate to earth-shaking. At this point, Freedia can pretty much do whatever she wants, effortlessly segueing between a cover of Drake’s “Nice For What” to “Strut”, her single with electropop DJ Elohim, to a cover of Beyone’s “Formation”. Of course, the set highlight was when she had volunteers from the crowd come up and shake and twerk--two at a time to keep it COVID-safe--all while egging them on to go harder. Towards the end of the set, after performing the milquetoast “Goin’ Looney” from the even-worse-than-expected Space Jam: A New Legacy soundtrack, she pulled out the beloved “Gin in my System”. “I got that gin in my system,” she sang, the crowd singing back, “Somebody gonna be my victim,” a refrain that compositionally not only leaves plenty of room for the thundering bass but is thematically a statement of total power--over sexism, racism, the patriarchy--even in the face of control-altering substances.

Les Savy Fav

During Les Savy Fav’s set, lead singer Tim Harrington at various points--*big breath*--went into the crowd, deepthroated an audience member’s mohawk spike, found a discarded manikin head with a wig on it, revealed the words “deep” and “dish” painted on his thighs and a drawing of a Red Hot on his back, rode a crowd member like a horse, made a headband out of pink tape, donned ski goggles, surfed on top of a door carried by the crowd, squeezed his belly while the camera was on it to make it look like his belly button was singing, and referred to himself as a “slippery eel.” Indeed, the legend of Les Savy Fav’s live show starts and ends with Harrington’s ridiculous antics, as he’s all but out of breath when actually singing dance-punk classics like “Hold On To Your Genre”, “The Sweat Descends”, and “Rome (Written Upside Down)”. We haven’t heard much in terms of new music from Les Savy Fav in over 10 years--their most recent album was 2010′s Root For Ruin--but I could see them and the extremely Aughts genre in general become staples of Riot Fest as albums like Inches, The Rapture’s Echoes, and !!!’s Louden Up Now reach the 20-year mark. Dynamic vocalists, tight bands, and killer grooves: What’s not to love?

State Champs

This set likely wins the award for “most immediate crowd surfers,” which I guess is to be expected when you begin your set with a classic track 1--album 1 combination. “Elevated” is the State Champs number that will cause passers-by to stop and watch a couple songs, the type of song that can pretty much only open or close a set. And because they opened with it, the crowd immediately ramped up the energy. It’s been three years since the last State Champs full-length, Living Proof, so they were in prime position to play some new songs. As such, they performed their bubblegummy “Outta My Head” and “Just Sound” and faithfully covered Fall Out Boy’s “Chicago Is So Two Years Ago” (releasing a studio version earlier this week). But the tracks from The Finer Things and Around the World and Back were, as usual, the highlights, like “All You Are Is History”, “Remedy”, “Slow Burn”, and set closer “Secrets”. At the end of the day, it didn’t entirely matter: The crowd knew every word of every song.

Bayside

Putting State Champs and Bayside back-to-back on the same stage made an easy decision for the many pop-punk bands at Riot Fest. Bayside’s been at it for twice as long, so the breadth of their setlist across their discography is more variable. Moreover, they’ve thrice revisited their discography with acoustic albums of old songs, so even their staples are subject to change. They provided solid versions of Killing Time standouts “Already Gone” and “Sick, Sick, Sick”, Cult’s “Pigsty”, and older songs like their self-titled’s “Montauk” and Sirens and Condolences’ “Masterpiece”. For “Don’t Call Me Peanut”, though, they brought out--*gasp*--an acoustic guitar! It was a rare moment not just for one of the most popular pop punk sets but the festival in general, a breather before Vacancy shout-along “Mary”.

Rancid

“Rancid has always been anti-fascist and anti-racist,” said Tim Armstrong before the band played “Hooligans”. It was nice to hear an explicit declaration of solidarity from the street punks, reminding the crowd what really matters and why we come together to scream and mosh. The band expectedly favored ...And Out Come The Wolves, playing almost half of it, and they perfectly balanced their harder edges with more celebratory ska songs like “Where I’m Going” from their most recent album Trouble Maker (Hellcat/Epitaph). My two favorite moments? The breezy, keyboard-laden “Fall Back Down” from their supremely underrated 2001 album Indestructable, and when they asked the crowd whether they wanted the set to end with “Time Bomb” or “Ruby Soho”. “We have 4 minutes left, and it’s disrespectful to play over your set time,” said Armstrong. It’s easy to see why Rancid continues to make an impression--instrumental and moral--on touring bands new and old.

Run the Jewels

The brilliant hip hop duo are masters of balancing social consciousness with the desire to fuck shit up for fun. Live, the former tends to come in between-song banter, the latter with their actual charismatic, tit-for-tat performances of the songs. However, Run the Jewels also are probably the clearest live performers in hip hop today, Killer Mike and El-P’s words, hypersexual and woke alike, ringing in the ears of audience members who don’t even know the songs. (Looking around, I could see people smiling and laughing at every dick joke, nodding at each righteous proclamation.) Some of the best songs on their most recent album RTJ4 (Jewel Runners/BMG) are perfect for these multitudes. Hearing both RTJ MCs and the backing track of Pharrell Williams and Zack de la Rocha chanting “Look at all these slave masters posin’ on yo’ dollar” on “JU$T” as the rowdy crowd bounced up and down was the ultimate festival moment. For those who had never seen RTJ, it was clear from the get-go, as Killer Mike and EL-P traded bars on “yankee and the brave (ep. 4)” that they’re a unique hip hop act. For the rest of us, it was clear that Run the Jewels keep getting better.

The Gories

It felt a little weird that legendary Detroit trio The Gories were given the first set of the final day--I’d have thought they’d have more draw than that. No matter what, they provided one of the more satisfying and stylistically varied sets of the festival, showcasing their trademark balance of garage punk and blues. Mick Collins and Dan Kroha’s guitar and vocal harmonies were the perfect jangly balance to Peggy O’Neill’s meat and potatoes drumming on “Sister Ann” and “Charm Bag”, while folks less familiar with The Gories were treated to their fantastic covers of Suicide’s “Ghost Rider” and The Keggs’ “To Find Out”. Smells like time for the first Gories album in 20 years!

FACS

I thought it would be ill-fitting to watch a band like FACS in the hot sun, early in the day. Their monochrome brand of post-punk seems better suited for a dimly lit club. But the hypnotic nature of Brian Case’s swirling guitar and Alianna Kalaba’s slinky bass was oddly perfect in a sweltering, faint-inducing heat. Just when you thought you might fade, squalls of feedback and Noah Leger’s odd time signatures picked you back up. Songs from their new album Present Tense (Trouble In Mind) such as “Strawberry Cough” and “XOUT” were emblematic of this push-pull. And everything from the band’s red, white, and black color palate to their lack of stage banter suggested a cool minimalism that was rare at a festival that tends to book more outwardly emotional bands.

Alex G

On one hand, Alex G’s unique combination of twangy alt country and earnest indie rock makes him an outlier at Riot Fest, or at the very least a mostly Pitchfork/occasional Riot Fest type of booking. On the other hand, like a lot of bands at the festival, he has a rabid fanbase, one that knows his back catalog hits, like “Kute”, “Kicker”, and “Bug”, as much as if not more than hyped Rocket and House of Sugar singles, like “Bobby” and “Gretel”. Backed by a band that knows when to be loose and when to tighten up--and the instrumental chops to do so--Alex G was better than he was a Pitchfork three years ago. He still sings through his teeth, making it especially hard to hear him on louder tunes such as “Brick”. But when the honesty of his vocals combines with the dreamy guitars of “Southern Sky” and circular melodies of “Near”, it’s pure bliss.

HEALTH

The formula for the LA industrial noise band has pretty much always been Jake Duzsik’s soft vocals contrasting John Famiglietti’s screeching bass and pedals and BJ Miller’s mammoth drums. Both in 2018 and Sunday at Riot Fest, the heat affected Famiglietti’s pedals, which were nonetheless obscured by tarp. Or so HEALTH claimed: You wouldn’t know the difference given how much their sound envelops your whole body during one of their live sets. Since their previous appearance at the festival, the prolific band has released two new records on Loma Vista, Vol. 4: Slaves of Fear and collaboration record Disco4: Part 1. Songs from those records occupied half of their excellent set, including battering opener “GOD BOTHERER”, “BODY/PRISON”, and “THE MESSAGE”. It was so wonderfully loud it drowned out K.Flay’s sound check drummer, thank the lord.

Thursday

Last time Thursday played Riot Fest, Geoff Rickly was battling heroin addiction, something he talked about during the band’s triumphant late afternoon set on Sunday. He mentioned the kindness of the late, great Riley Gale of Power Trip in extending a helping hand when he was down and extended his love to anybody in the crowd or even the world at large going through something similar. To say that this set was life-affirming would be an understatement; after 636 days of no shows, Rickly was at his most passionate. He introduced “Signals Over The Air” as a song the band “wrote about men beating up on women in the pit,” that a record exec at the time told them that it wouldn’t age well because he thought--no kidding--sexism would eventually end. Rickly’s voice, suffering from sound issues last time around, simply soared during Full Collapse’s “Cross Out The Eyes”, No Devolucion’s “Fast to the End”, and two inspired covers: Bruce Springsteen’s “Dancing in the Dark” and Texas Is The Reason’s “If It's Here When We Get Back It's Ours”. The latter the band played because TITR guitarist Norman Brannon’s actually on tour with them, though Rickly emphasized the influence the NYC post-hardcore greats had on Thursday when they first started. Never forgetting where they’ve come from, with self-deprecating humor and radical empathy, Thursday are once again a force.

Devo

Much like the B-52′s in 2019, Devo was the set this year of a 70′s/80′s absurd punk band with some radio hits that everybody knows but with a swath of die-hard fans, too. It’s safe to say both groups were satisfied. You walked around the fest all day wondering whether the folks wearing Devo hats were actual fans or doing it for the novelty. By the time the band actually took the stage after a career-spanning video of their many phases, it didn’t really matter, because it was clear the band still had it, Mark and Bob Mothersbaugh and Gerald Casale’s vocals booming throughout a massive crowd. They ripped through “Peek-a-Boo”, “Going Under”, “That’s Good”, “Girl U Want”, and “Whip It”, which caused the fans waiting for Slipknot (and presumably some Devo heads) to form a circle pit. And that was all before the first costume change. Mark passed out hats to the crowd, fully embracing converts who might have only known “Whip It”. The feverish chants of “Uncontrollable Urge” and synth freakouts of “Jocko Homo” whipped everyone into a frenzy. And the band performed the “Freedom Of Choice” theme song for the first time since the early 80′s! I had seen Devo before, opening for Arcade Fire and Dan Deacon at the United Center, but the atmosphere at Riot Fest was more appropriately ludicrous.

Flaming Lips

“The Flaming Lips are the most COVID-safe band in the world,” went the ongoing joke, as throughout the pandemic they’d give audience members bubbles for their bubbles to be able to play shows. The normally goofy and interactive band scaled back for Riot Fest. Before launching into their traditional opener “Race For The Prize”, Wayne Coyne explained that while the band is normally proud of where they come from--Oklahoma City--they’re saddened by the local government’s ignorant pandemic response and wouldn’t risk launching balloons or walking into the crowd because they might be virus spreaders coming from such an under-vaccinated area. To his and the band’s credit, they wore masks during the performance, even when singing; Coyne removed his only when outside of his bubble that had to be deflated and inflated many times and that sometimes muffled his singing voice even more than a mask. Ever the innovative band, they still put on a stellar show. Coyne autotuned his voice on “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt. 1″, making it another instrument filling the song’s glorious pop melodies. Less heavy on props, the band favored a glitchy, psychedelic setlist that alternated between beauty (”Flowers Of Neptune 6″, “Feeling Yourself Disintegrate”, “All We Have Is Now”) and two-drummed cacophony (“Silver Trembling Hands”, “The W.A.N.D.”). They’ll give a proper Lips show soon enough, but in the meantime, it was nice to see them not run through the motions.

Slipknot

Apart from maybe moments of Slayer, I’ve never witnessed a headliner at Riot Fest as heavy as Slipknot was. Even the minor ethereal elements present on their most recent and very good album We Are Not Your Kind, like the chorus of voices during “Unsainted”, were all but abandoned live in favor of straight up brutality. Sure, there were moments of theatricality--Corey Taylor’s menacing laugh on “Disasterpiece” and pyrotechnics in sequence with the instrumentation on “Before I Forget” and “All Out Life”--but for the most part, Slipknot was the ultimate exorcism. Taylor’s new mask, with unnaturally circular eyes, seemed like it came from a particularly uncomfortable skit from I Think You Should Leave. They bashed a baseball bat to a barrel during the pre-encore performance of “Duality”. And the songs played from tape, like the gasping-for-breath “(515)”, were designed to contrast Slipknot’s alien appearance with qualities that were uncannily human. For a band whose performances and instrumental dexterity are otherworldly--who else can pull off tempo changes over a hissing, Aphex Twin-like shuffling electronic beat on “Eyeless”--the pure seething emotion on songs like “Psychosocial” and “Wait and Bleed” shone through. Like Smashing Pumpkins, and like so many other successful Riot Fest headliners, Slipknot abandoned drama for pure, unadulterated dirt.

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stairwelltradeshow · 3 years

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The objective top 100 songs of all time.

This list is permeated by both recency bias and just terrible fucking taste in music. I made this list by writing down every song i liked, then slowly whittling them away. Once I got to 100 I selected a song and listened to it, I then listened to the next and if i liked it more than the previously listened to song I put it above the other song on the list. Rinse and repeat for 100 songs. A secondary disclaimer, some of the songs are either specific live versions, or youtube covers in which case i will make it clear.

100. Yer killin’ me-Remo Drive. A simple emo banger that starts off with a very triumphantly yelled “I dont wanna fucking be here anymore.” in a voice that can only be managed by a whiny 20 something. I also fucking adore the most chorus-y part of the song with the “You make me.” section. The only downside to this song is the acoustic section at the end. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kaMiIaT-sg&ab_channel=RemoDrive

99. Sing-Ed Sheeran. In the first of MANY opinions that will get a certain breed of music fan to fucking murder me is the best Ed Sheeran song. It is the only time where Ed Sheeran sounds actually fun to be around, and smooth as hell. Pharell Williams has his fingerprints all over this track and thank fuck for that. The groove in the bridge over Sheerans falsetto is immaculate, and that chorus bangs to put it scientifically. The verses are a treat with Sheeran doing fucking rap verses about club life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scHS8YaYoRA&ab_channel=EdSheeran

98. Never trust a man who plays guitar-Wingnut dishwashers union. This song is hard to talk about. It is just 2:17 of folk punk over a painfully robotic drum beat and the lyrics have no deeper meaning behind what is shouted by a man who cannot sing to save his life. And I fucking love it. Pat the bunny delivers a straight forward folk punk track with possibly his best lyric of all time in “No pulse is no excuse not to dance.” Which just screams angry and 20 at me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG9xvNTYJpQ&ab_channel=WingnutDishwashersUnion-Topic

97. You wouldnt be laughing-The Front Bottoms. In case you were still wondering I am young and god damn it if The Front Bottoms dont understand youth then no one does. This song is just young. From the pop punk influence in its songwriting, to the near apathetic delivery of lyrics about hating your friends this song exists in a perpetual state of high school. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sXV9GLKsFQ&ab_channel=Thatguyspike

96. Zero-Smashing pumpkins. “You wanna go for a ride?” Yes Billy, yes I do. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wk7C64kaP4&ab_channel=SmashingPumpkinsVEVO

95. Sweatpants-Childish Gambino. I’ve never heard Doland Glover sound so god damn cool. Gambino delivers a variety of flows on this song over one of the most ear worm-y off kilter beats I have ever heard, and includes the best use of both onomatopoeia and the word onomatopoeia. This brag rap (which based on the video I’m sure has a deeper meaning but I cant be fucked to find it because I like the surface song too much to look for it.) is something special.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04TNTpJnwcM&ab_channel=ChildishGambino-Topic

94. Look Into My Eyes-Johnnascus. With a driving beat and an Indian inspired synth line John delivers some of his best verses, and as a songwriter shows his talents by having a breakdown in a rap song. The soundscape created here is one of fear and discomfort. This song does suffer after the 3:39 mark in that it sucks, but the first 3 minutes are that good to get it on this list. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTogOFp3Y4k&ab_channel=JOHNNASCUS

93. Electioneering-Radiohead. Radiohead are a good fucking rock band and I feel we as a collective forgot that after Kid-a and In Rainbows. This blues based banger shows just how good Radiohead can be with just a basic rock kit and 2 musical savants. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DtgWrFTtQk&ab_channel=Radiohead-Topic

92. circles ‘round the moon-nana grizol. A deceptively simple song that puts a surprising amount of grand ideas into less than 2 minutes. The opening verse which is only backed by a deliciously crunchy guitar and open cymbal drums hangs for about 40 seconds before bursting into a fucking jam complete with choir and tasty little synth line. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzL-seezx5Q&ab_channel=leavemealonegoogle%2Cidontwanttochangemyname

91. You're Gonna Say Yeah-Hushpuppies. I firmly think that this song forgives the french for all of their misdeeds. This garage revival track is brimming with energy. The song has a constant motion to it, and never meanders. And I would be a filthy liar if i were to say I could resist that organ.

90. Waving My Dick In The Wind-Ween. A love song that has my favorite ween vocal delivery, and possibly my favorite rhythm guitar period. The lyrics also describe the longing that comes with the rock-star lifestyle, but doesn't whine about it like every other nerd with a guitar on tour.

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doomedandstoned · 3 years

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SOLAR SONS Show Their True Colors on ‘Chameleon’

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

Album Art by Keir Murdoch

One of the most played songs on our new compilation 'Doomed & Stoned in Scotland' (2021) is "Jormungandr" by SOLAR SONS, and when you give it a listen you'll understand immediately why. The Dundee band, formed in 2014, has a peculiar style that blends spirited progressive metal with heavy metal bombast, virtuosic guitar solos, and the occasional stylings of regional folk music, making this a solid contender for the Scottish Rock exhibit.

However you describe them, Solar Sons are anything but predictable. Formed in 2014 by Rory Lee (bass, lead vox), Danny Lee (guitar, backing vox), and Pete Garrow (drums, backing vox), the band got serious right away and built a home studio that doubles as a rehearsal space. I bet that would be a fun place to be a fly on the wall when jamming is in session.

DIY to the core, it's not surprising to find them also producing their own records, with each album being self-released. Hell, even their music videos are a personal labor of love.

Like many of us who sat in our houses shellshocked at the beginning of The Great Lockdown, fear gave way to boredom and boredom to creativity.

Solar Sons became separated, as so many other people were during the pandemic. The extra time was put to use and the band began working on new material. Passing each other song ideas and jams, this kicked off an intense period of creating the music from the new album. One song spurring on the next, until late-April/early-May 2020, nine to ten brand new tracks had taken serious formation.

Once things eased up a bit in July, Solar Sons set to work developing the lyrical and vocal parts of the songs, having quite a bit of fun learning to play the songs as a full band.

The album is called 'Chameleon' (2021), and I didn't know until I'd given it a good, thorough listen, how appropriate that title is to the album content. A chameleon is an Old World Lizard renowned for its ability to change color.The album before us is the band's fourth and showcases the diverse command of Solar Sons has over a plethora of rock and metal styles.

Each song is a concept of its own. We gallop gallantly out of the gate with "No Idle Blade," a breathlessly-paced song which references the classic Hiroshi Inagaki film Samurai Saga (1959). It's as much a sweeping love story as it is a heroic clash of swords.

Live by the code, honour to the warriors oath Morality means less to me than duty to the sword Make savage the hand and strong of the mind Must blood be spilled in the fields tonight Many before and many ahead Those who where terrified just turned and fled Swords slashing down, we race to the end

This romping NWOBHM number is an adrenaline rush, full of thematic urgency as played out by the Solar Son's expert sword 'n skins crews who are simply electric in their heroic execution of the rhythm and riffs. Pair this on a playlist, immediately following High on Fire's "Bastard Samurai."

"Timelord" is another heavy hitter, but transports us into another world -- the realm of Doctor Who, to be precise. It continues the frenetic pace of its predecessor, with skilled drum and bass work creating a kind of vortex transporting the evil timelord 'cross the constellations to wreak havoc on the good Doctor (which in my mind will always be my first childhood connection with the word "cool," the Fourth Doctor Tom Baker).

The evil timelord he has come for us all Brought back from the past to walk among us Set forth his reckoning and spread fear among us We dare not stand alone, it is nearly upon us The hour is here, the time is now

This song races to the finish with a jazzy swirl of psychedelic picking, slowly fading away. And...scene.

As the album progresses from this point forward, the rhapsodic progression through different styles becomes all the more apparent. It's hard to believe we're even listening to the same band in the funky, "Back Again" until the Solar Sons chime in unison the chant: "Visions in my mind / The pieces fall apart."

"Molten Mountain" is a wonderful prog interlude with beautiful guitar and bass tone. I refer to it in my notes as "The Continuing Adventures of Whale & Wasp" (Alice in Chains devotees will get the reference). It's worth noting that frontman Rory Lee moonlights as bassist with King Witch, another favorite band of mine from out of Scotland.

Every well-rounded album needs contrasts. Light and dark, fast and slow, exciting and chill. Enter: "Reflections," which the band characterises as a kind of contemplative ballad.

"Captive" continues in a similar mood. As it begins, it stirs up memories of the melancholic "Soma" by The Smashing Pumpkins. Don't be lulled into a depressive sleep, though, this too has the stirring fight and might of Solar Sons written inside and out (the band calls it "the anti-ballad").

With "Revenant" the band has decided to show off what it can do as a purely instrumental outfit. Lovers of progressive rock will relish in the effortless psychedelic and math-driven passages. This is why you practice your scales and runs, guitar students. So you can one day aspire to play with the effortless style, grace, and beauty of Danny Lee. I'd love to see these guys jam with my Northwest pals Zirakzigil sometime! What a blast it would be to have the two of those bands on the same bill, maybe opening for Earthless

"Test of our Times" awakens me from my daydreaming, probably because the singing is so out of character from what we've heard up to now. The band call it a "seventies rock shuffle." It's freewheeling spirit might deceive you into thinking this is a carefree song, were not the lyrics handy.

Feeling alone as the days they slowly pass Too much time on my hands I should not complain for I know it will not last And it's easy for me A prayer to the souls who are fighting for their lives And the ones who gone And those who give care you are heroes of our time And we will not forget

Starts to surround can you feel it closing in Pressure it builds now the time is near Fork in the road with a choice unclear how Can we maintain so much doubt and fear Break in the clouds see it light it by the sun Can't go so far for this all to be undone Gathering now we breach into the night Test of our times will unite us in the fight

We're at a point in the album where the Chameleon is shifting into all kinds of far out color. Next up, "The Wolf'' returns us to the savage tone that opened the album, though this is a notch sludgier than we've encountered so far. And no wonder: it's about The Wolf of Badenoch, whom Solar Sons characterise as "a nasty bastard in Scottish history and folklore." This will likely end up a favorite of many of our listeners, with the gruff chanting of pawns. will. fall. for. Badenoch. juxtaposed with exciting guitar filigree.

"Beyond the Stars" really endeared itself to me on my second listen through the album. We're told it's about alien abduction -- "the good kind." Certainly, there's something transcendent about it. I'm reminded of similar climactic epilogues in Mastodon's 'Crack The Skye' (2009), Yob's 'Clearing The Path To Ascend' (2014) and 'They Come from the Future' (2009) by Biblical Proof of UFOs. And what a sublime ending! Breathtaking.

Fans of Mastodon, Spirit Adrift, Haunt, Age of Taurus, and Zirakzigil will dig it, for damn sure. And now, one day before the release of Chameleon by Solar Sons, Doomed & Stoned is bringing you the full album stream so you can get well acquainted. If you dig it, show the band some love.

Give ear...

Solar Sons - Chameleon (2021)

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

#D&S Debuts #Solar Sons #Dundee #Scotland #UK #progressive metal #progressive rock #blues #Doomed and Stoned

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zaner210 · 3 years

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Music well versed

I’ve wanted to write this one for a while.

Finally getting around to it now. It’s late or early for some. Sleeping problems as usual.

Through my life and (skateboarding especially!) Im pretty well versed in music. For the last nearly 8 years I’ve been stuck in 1 genre particularly. I want to write about music I’ve been into throughout life.

When I was a child I had to listen to pop/hit radio music when riding in the car with my mom.

I can’t stand 90s music for this very reason And when I hear it anywhere it reminds me of this feeling.

When we would go on road trips it would be some mix tape my dad put together. Or the Smashing Pumpkins. He was a really big fan of them.

Im not into them but always liked “We only come out night.” And would perk up from a long car ride slumber when I heard it come on!

I wasn’t much into music at this age besides tracks I’d hear in video games I’d being playing.

It wasn’t until the end of 4th grade I got a real taste at music when my friend Erik Mueller let me borrow his Rammstein cd, Sehnsucht. I didn’t know the words at all but the industrial beats and metal sound was very appealing to me at the time. I remembering trying to get into Metallica then too but didn’t feel em. A few months later it was summer before I was in 5th grade and I was staying the night at my buddy Justin’s watching MTV late night and saw and heard the coolest thing my 10 year old self could imagine. A dude in a backward red Yankees cap walking downtown the street telling people he did it all for the nookie! I was instantly drawn into Limp Bizkit and wanted the Significant Other CD so bad. My parents were hesitant though because of the parental advisory rating. I eventually got the Family Values Tour 98’ with parental advisory. This was such a big deal to me at that time! Eventually shortly after they got me Significant Other. I got my copy of 3 Dollar Bill Y’all from Walmart and it was censored and still to this day I’m pissed about it! Started listening to some Korn after but they weren’t as appealing to me as Limp! Moved to Texas that winter and the older cooler kids that skated were into Slipknot! So I got that CD shortly after coming to Texas. That first Slipknot album was pretty decent. I’ve been listening to it lately skating with Anthony! Still holds up. Got into that first Papa Roach Album for a little bit but they didn’t hold up for me. A few rap albums… slimshady and Ludacris, wasn’t all that into hip hop and rap then. Started skating in middle of 6th grade and then music started to change for me.

My dad got a bunch of tickets to the Vans Warped tour 2001. I was new to skating and about to be introduced to the punk scene. I started getting into all this punk not only through the concert but new skate friends. The Vandals were a big one for me through 7th grade. some Casualties, the Dead Kennedy’s, the Queers (thanks Matt!) The Misfits, Guttermouth. Was really into CKY then too!

8th grade Flip Sorry just came out and I was blown away by Arto’s part and the Bowie score! I was curious about this stuff and asked my dad about him and the Velvet Underground. This was when I was starting to get into Bowie. Most of 8th grade was listening to music strictly from skate parts. Trying to get into other rock (Rush, Zepellin, The Who). Most didn’t stick though. Except Bowie! Had a GnR phase end of 8th grade through 9th grade.

Went into 9th grade listening to the Doors I was a full “Baker Clone”. This is Skateboarding just came out! Baker overtook Flip for me. I was fully submerged into all of Bowies discography continuing on from the previous year. Was trying to get into I’m a Robot. Cause of the Boss. Mostly only listened to Bowie. Lots of Swisha House stuff then too. I was finally coming around to liking more rap.

10th grade I was getting burned out on Bowie. I would be playing through GTA San Andreas and didn’t realize the station I listened to and liked on there would be the genre that was planted and would forever change music for me…. SFUR. Quality Haus music! I really enjoyed all of it… 808 State, Mr. Fingers, Frankie Knuckles A Guy Called Gerald! All the House pioneers!!!. I spent hours playing this game! It was my favorite GTA by far! That was my intro to House! The music I’ve always liked! My buddy Lucas let me borrow a Requiem for a Dream Remix Cd and I remember loving this Guy Called Gerald Track Fear and Body! I never fully got submerged into House til a few years later though. But I knew the real quality stuff! Started listening to 89.9 KTSW and other strange music while out skating. The weirder the better. 89.9 was always a good station and continued listening to it over the years, they got me into lots of music (Enon, I Am the World Trade Center, Prefuse 73, Stereolab, Crystal Castles naming a few). More rap especially SA locals 3rd Degree.

11th grade the year I quit skating, when I was in my prime. It was my midlife skating crisis. Once I quit skating I was fully into rap and hip hop only. Classic Screw tapes. All Texas rap. A few other artist. NERD. Anything produced by the Neptunes. Pharrell. Kept up this music along with a mixture of 89.9 music and weird electronica stuff (Unkle, Cornelius) for the coming years until 2013. Oohh yea 2011 I was really into Jelli radio in LV, the concept was brilliant and the after hours community was fun.

CavEmpt introduced me to this obscure record label The Trilogy Tapes and that’s when it came around full circle for me on House music and techno. It took years but the seed was already planted from GTA San Andreas and I’ve really only been listening to that music since! It’s hard to listen to much of anything else these days for me!

My good friend Nick got me into some great stuff

Ryuchi Sakamoto

David Sylvain

Tangerine Dream

And he has a great ear for Haus/techno too!

So there’s my well rounded music evolution!

Learned lots from friends and skating over the years.

“Music is my Life.” - ChopTop TCM 2

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kevursuchadisease · 3 years

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Top 10 Albums of 2020

Hey! I wanted to compile my top 10 albums this year. Check them out.

10. Higher Power - “27 Feet Underwater”

This album is just so fun. It’s everything good and bad from the late 90′s and early 00′s alternative grunge and post grunge and not corny at all. Makes me want to mosh ASAP. One of the two or three shows I saw this year. Fingers crossed it will not be the last.

9. The 1975 - “Notes on a Conditional Form”

So probably not the best from these guys but some of my favorite tracks from them. “Me and You Together Song” was my most played song of 2020 and “Fragile State of Mind” really helped me out this year. It’s a bit long but if you keep listening to this album you will find a lot of great things. There’s tons of sounds on hear: garage, emo, folk, Britpop, screamo, and probably more.

8. Hum - “Inlet”

I don’t have to much to say about this one. If you like Hum, you’ll like this album. Comeback albums are really hard and Hum achieved the impossible. For fans of 90′s rock and shoegaze.

7. Charli XCX - “how i’m feeling now”

I have never listened to Charli before and this was a crazy introduction. I had no idea what I was getting myself into and the first track through me off but this is some of the pop of this era. Need to do a deep dive still.

6. Hot Mulligan - “you’ll be fine”

This band was a delightful surprise this year. Only hearing them in passing and never really dug that much. Just seemed like generic pop punk that I heard before but this album is amazing and got A LOT of spins this year. I would say for fans of The Hotelier. Poppy punk mixed with mid western emo and hilarious song titles. Gave me some nostalgia I needed to stay sane this year.

5. fish narc - “WiLDFiRE”

So ready here’s controversial opinion: this is better than that MGK record. If you like that record (I enjoyed it as well) you may like this but there’s better songwriting, more diverse tracks, and a better vibe overall on WiLDFiRE. Narc has been doing production for all of GBC (Wicca Phase, Cold Hart, Lil Peep) and finally has this stand out record of the genre.

4. The Lawrence Arms - “Skeleton Coast”

The Lawrence Arms are one of most underrated bands of the style of punk they pump out. I really don’t know why the fans of the Menzingers, Gaslight Anthem, Against Me, etc. doesn’t eat this band up as they should. So yeah, they wrote an album about being alone at the end of world and what’s more 2020 than that.

3. Bartees Strange - “Live Forever”

This album is some next level shit. I can’t even describe it really. It’s like Bloc Party/Title Fight alt rock with swagger vocal delivery of some hip hop. A lot of comparisons to TV on Radio in what I’ve read. The latter half has some great acoustic folk songs and it’s just fucking sick. And this thing is a vibe.

2. Phoebe Bridgers - “Punisher”

New Phoebe. Not sure what to say other than it rules. For fans of Elliot Smith.

1. Touché Amore - “Lament”

Not my favorite album from the band but I think it’s there most accessible. I say accessible in the best way. Biggest bummer of 2020 is not seeing this band again and yelling the lyrics with a PBR in hand.

0. Goings - “It’s For You”

Okay I separated this LP from the list because it’s my brother’s and cousin’s band. Incredible album and on Know Hope Records. Check it out. For fans of Minus the Bear and Motion City Soundtrack.

Honorable Mentions:

Coriky - S/T

Ian Mackaye has a new project and album? Sign me up. Best mix of Fugazi and the Evens.

The Beths - “Jump Rope Gazers”

This album should be my AOTY and could definitely replace a lot of albums in my top ten. This shit rocks and if I were hanging out with people more, hanging around at bars, and/or being able to see this band live would have bumped this LP up for sure. Side note they were supposed to open up for Green Day/Fall Out Boy/Weezer tour in Australia and New Zealand and hope they’re still able to if that tour happens. So cool for them.

Narrow Head - “12th House Rock”

Not a lot I have to say about this album. 90′s flashback rock and done super well and I eat shit up that’s like that. For fans of Smashing Pumpkins but sang by snotty punker.

Code Orange - “Underneath”

The heaviest band there is. I think I negleted this record a bit due to how this year has been. This LP rocks and I love the more industrial elements.

Disq - “Collector”

Definitely one of the best new young bands out there. This is another album that could replace a bunch in my top 10. Pavement meets Weezer in the best way.

#top ten #sorry if this was annoying

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dancing-to-architecture · 9 months

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90 - Pink Floyd - The Wall

High up on my list of "Best Movie Soundtracks Ever", even though a. it's a rock opera and b. one of my favorite songs on the album is notably NOT in the film.

Also, an album I picked up WAY too early in life. This is not an album that should be mainlined by an impressionable young adolescent. (See also: Smashing Pumpkins)

And, if you haven't seen the movie, know going in that it's violent and disturbing and disorienting, it adds a LOT to the context of the album, and also you should really watch it twice.

•In The Flesh?-

One of the most bombastic and epic-feeling opening tracks I've ever experienced in my life.

I'm ALWAYS looking for that space cadet glow.

Also it ends like the album is ending, like entire goddamn world is ending, complete with the sound of a plane crash and everything, and then, with a baby's cry, we are introduced to our doomed protagonist.

•Thin Ice-

So, unlike quicksand, thin ice is a horror from my childhood only this one WILL ACTUALLY KILL YOU. Growing up in a small town where two rivers met, thin ice was a legitimate concern every winter.

And, while I don't recall as many people going under the ice as I do "Chicagoans getting wasted and falling to their death at Starved Rock", it was always in the back of my mind whenever the air hurt my face.

Regardless this song is about losing your sanity, and the two concepts are nonetheless linked in my mind, especially since high school makes you feel crazy.

•Another Brick In The Wall, Pt. 1-

This one makes me think of two things:

1. This Robert Anton Wilson quote:

"under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being."

2. My dad's hobby of late: burning all of his money by going on cruise ships multiple times a year.

"Daddy, what'd you leave behind for me?" Not fuckin much.

Otherwise this section of the album has one hell of a groove to it.

•The Happiest Days Of Our Lives-

So happy to say that I never had a *physically* abusive teacher.

Mentally and emotionally? I mean who didn't have at least one of *them* growing up?

(And yes I genuinely, honestly, hope "their psychopathic wives" beat the shit out of every single one of those bastards. If you are in a position of authority over children, and you use that to make their lives objectivly worse, for shit they had no hand in, I hope your eyeballs and throat and liver and kidneys all get ripped out by goddamned vultures.)

•Another Brick In The Wall, Pt. 2-

The anthem for my entire generation, and what should damn sure be the energy going forward (especially in Fascistland, I mean Florida, where "slavery was kinda good actually" and "AP Psych can not legally be taught anymore because it says that queer people exist".

We don't need no thought control.

And all in all, Ron Desantis is just another dick with no balls.)

Also, I was much older when I learned that when an Englishman says "pudding" they actually mean "basically any possible dessert" and not just, like, "tapioca".

•Mother-

Generating Lifelong Codependency: The Song.

5 minutes and 34 seconds of Bad Parenting Choices.

See the above Robert A. Wilson quote again.

•Goodbye Blue Sky-

Simultaneously one of the prettiest and one of the ugliest songs on the album.

Beautiful and horrible.

Also, one of my favorite of the animated segments in the film. Evocative as FUCK.

"The flames are all long gone

But the pain lingers on."

•Empty Spaces-

This is the sound of every dying relationship. Once the communication breaks down, the rot begins to take hold.

•Young Lust-

Now, THIS is a great song to get stuck in your head for a month and a half when you're a loser in your sophomore year of high school and nobody wants to really even look at you, let alone go out with you, and absolutely nobody wants to just fuck nasty, which is exactly what this song is entirely about: finding a person who wants to get slammed down, big style.

•One Of My Turns-

Possibly the darkest song on the album and one of the heaviest parts of the movie.

The Breakdown of Every Thing.

That said, "cold as a razor blade, tight as a tourniquet, dry as a funeral drum" would be a good description of me from like ages 15-27.

...Thank the gods for LSD. Ego death fixed a lot of that shit.

•Don't Leave Me Now-

Correction: THIS is the darkest song on the album.

A droning meditation on all the various forms of partner abuse.

•Another Brick In The Wall, Pt. 3-

And this is the song that turns the miserable sophomore-year loser into a teenaged curmudgeon. "I don't need any of you, I'll be just fine on my own."

•Goodbye Cruel World-

It's pretty obviously about suicide, but I always thought this would be a great closing song for a live show.

"Yeah this is it, this is all you're getting. You can't change my mind. Goodbye."

•Hey You-

Ah, good day, "Sir Not Appearing In This Film". How are you?

I've heard a few reasons from different people as to why this was cut from the movie, from simply "cut for time" to "the actual film got fucked up during recording and was deemed unusable".

In the story, this is the initial realization of the Great Mistake of building the wall and shutting yourself off from reality and humanity.

In my life, it gave me one of the most impactful lines I've ever heard:

"Hey you,

Don't help them to bury the light.

Don't give in without a fight."

As well as a lovely metaphor for what right-wing talk-radio grifters and Fox News brainwashing did to everybody's parents:

"No matter how he tried, he could not break free, and The Worms ate into his brain."

•Is There Anybody Out There?-

One of my favorite songs on the album.

Short and sweet, if by 'sweet' you mean 'dangerously paranoid'.

Also, one of the only songs I ever learned how to play on guitar.

I classify this as the beginning of what I call the "tone poem section". The next few songs all bleed together into one full movement.

•Nobody Home-

The depression inherent to self-imposed loneliness sets in as self-reflection, self-adoration, and ultimately self-revulsion.

"I'm so smart, I can even figure out every single thing that I did to completely ruin my entire life, but i won't do that until the end of the album, on account of how smart I am."

•Vera-

The tone poem continues.

Also, I had no idea who Vera Lynn was for quite some time. So, no, I didn't remember her. 🤷

It's a devastatingly pretty song, though.

•Bring The Boys Back Home-

And the culmination of the tone poem portion of the album arrives.

There's not a lot to this one, tbh.

•Comfortably Numb-

It is amazing to me how much I related to this song, long before I ever did a single drug. And now, after having done quite a few drug, I'm not much of a depressants guy. (It's probably all the regular depression, why would I ever add more?)

Man, I was a pretty messed up kid, huh.

Such an incredible song, though. Perfect in every way. Beautiful guitar work, the drumming is impeccable, the bass is... present, and the vocals are stellar.

One of my favorites.

•The Show Must Go On-

I can sum this one up with the title of a cancelled douchebag Marilyn Manson song: "I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me."

•In The Flesh-

The reprise of the opening track.

Problematic as hell, but that's the fucking point. This is a hyper-violent fascist rally dressed up like a concert, and Anyone Who Doesn't Fit In will be Taken Care Of.

•Run Like Hell-

Back when I was a kid, roughly a thousand years ago, there was a Chicago morning news show that used to use the beginning of this song as their show's intro, and that always struck me as Extremely Fucking Weird.

The concert/hyper-violent fascist rally spills into the streets. Nobody is safe. This is the point.

•Waiting For The Worms-

Fear and isolation lead to horrors beyond human comprehension.

An anthem for krystallnacht.

An anthem for the alt-right mass shooter.

Fortunately, you can theoretically get the worms out. Unfortunately, you will very likely have to crack open the skull in which they reside to do so.

•Stop-

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES TO MY ACTIONS?!"

•The Trial-

The Big Come Down. Our protagonist realizes, way too late, that despite the many, many tribulations of his life, it is his reactions to those problems that ultimately the source of all of his problems.

Yeah, your teachers were shitty sociopaths, your mom was a domineering bitch, and your wife (rightly) got sick of all of your bullshit and left you.

Shutting yourself out and hiding yourself away doesn't fix a fucking thing, and only makes the Bad Things worse.

Shut the fuck up, Pink. You're not crazy, you're just a bigoted asshole. Tear the fucking wall down already.

•Outside The Wall-

In which our protagonist finally gets a fucking grip and stops being such a dick.

Or, an alternate reading is that Pink has killed himself, and everything from Goodbye Cruel World until this point has been a hallucination caused by his dying mind, and this is him receiving total consciousness at the moment of death.

OR it's simply saying "it's on you to open up a bit, because there are people who genuinely want to help you, but they'll only try for so long."

This is a great album, but you kinda need to see the movie to really get it, which is ironic because you also need to know the album pretty well to understand what the fuck is happening in the movie.

Favorite Track:

I am SO tempted to be a cheeky little shit and say "When The Tigers Broke Free", as that is an incredible song, but it's only in the film, not the studio album.

So I'll invert that and say Hey You, which is on the album, but not in the film.

Least Favorite Track:

Bring The Boys Back Home. It's the end of the slow self-reflection/self-destruction part of the story, there for the (incredibly depressing) vibes.

#1001 albums #dancing to architecture #pink floyd #the wall

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lifeonashelf · 3 years

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...INTERLUDE...

Come to Vegas! We can make out, gamble, and forget all our troubles.

This is quite possibly the greatest text message I have ever received. Four days later, I hit the road.

I have never driven to Las Vegas by myself. Once I complete the journey I can’t fathom why this is, because despite the extended sprawl of nothing between us, Vegas isn’t nearly as far away as I picture it in my mind. I arrive in 3 hours and 17 minutes (which, oddly, is the exact figure Google Maps gave me when I checked the route before leaving my apartment—this is even more astonishing when you factor in that Google not only calculated my precise rate of speed for the entire trek, but evidently also predicted that I would be pulling off the road for seven minutes to have a cigarette at a rest stop just outside Baker). On the way, I listen to two volumes of a 10-disc playlist I made a few months earlier. When I burn mix CDs for myself, they are ridiculously schizophrenic—crossing the state line, I hear Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”, my favorite track by the death metal band Gorefest, and then “Cool For The Summer” by Demi Lovato in immediate succession, and I sing every word to each of them. Needless to say, it is an awesome drive.

Everything proceeds smoothly when I arrive. The Gold Coast has my lodgings ready for me two hours prior to the posted check-in time and they are able to accommodate my request for a smoking flat. I take my bag up to the 9th floor, set up my laptop at the table by the window, and then smoke a cigarette in my room just because I fucking can. I purposefully skipped dinner the night before so my stomach would be prepared to maximize the possibilities offered by the hotel’s Ports O’ Call Buffet. I tear that shit up, then head to the lounge to play a bit of video poker and get a cup of coffee—the machines at the bartop are not kind to me; that cup of coffee ends up costing me sixty dollars. Such is Vegas.

The day is uneventful, by Las Vegas standards. I drink more coffee, I gamble some more and win back my sixty bucks, I write a bit, I watch some basketball. But I am really just killing time. Because the passing hours are merely a preamble; the woman who sent me the text message which acted as the siren song for this trip is in the same town as me, and come “around 7ish” we will be in the same building.

She’s here on business. ___ is a reality television producer, and has been dispatched to Sin City to film the upcoming season of the show Hell’s Kitchen. I have not seen her in over two years, even though she only lives 30 miles from my apartment in real life and driving to Nevada is in fact way more effort than I would normally have to exert to visit her. But our real lives are rarely able to intersect. Besides, I love Las Vegas. And there’s something undeniably enchanting about the prospect of walking beside a beautiful girl amidst a panorama of brilliant dramatic neon and exotic stereoscopic night-sounds. Being in Vegas is like being in a movie, and the character you get to play has way more fun than you do when you’re not on-screen. Compared to my daily existence, and the daily existence of anyone who does not live here, the milieu of Vegas feels like an ethereal dream. That’s why it’s the perfect place to rendezvous with ___; being around her is so intoxicating that it feels much the same.

Our history spans nearly two decades. It is as complicated and messy and wonderful as any history I have ever shared with anyone. I cannot possibly recount all of it here, though I will tell you some. I lost a girlfriend when ___ and I became close because that girlfriend clearly identified that we were mutually attracted to each other. I would have never cheated, but my relationship imploded because I aggressively refuted her well-founded apprehensions and pretended like she was acting crazy for even insinuating I was drawn this person who I would 17 years later drive 230 miles to visit at the whim of a late night text. As a result I broke the heart of an incredible woman who deserved far better, and she broke mine by dumping me. Twenty-four hours subsequent, I was on a park bench making out with a girl who I swore up and down was merely a platonic acquaintance, and I was officially a liar.

I was 23 years old. I was also far more charming and attractive than I am now, and in the mindset to actively explore the positive corollaries which arose from that confluence. I spent a few years kissing a lot of girls because I was single and I was in my early twenties and it’s a good idea to kiss as many girls as you can when you’re single and in your early twenties because you won’t get to kiss too many more after that. Despite the sagacity I demonstrated by accurately predicting this, I was an unadulterated fucking idiot when it came to ___. I am horrified by my conduct throughout everything that ensued between us, and I will forever be haunted by the what-ifs brought about by the consequent brazen stupidity I exhibited.

From the moment we began groping each other at Cahuilla Park in Claremont, ___ became sort of a surrogate for the girlfriend I had sacrificed, a proxy upon whom I could bestow both the passion that had been extinguished and the anguish that had been stoked after the break-up. ___ did not kill my relationship, I killed it by being a callous asshole. But I think subconsciously I blamed her anyway (for having the audacity to enter my life and be the extraordinary girl she is, I suppose); that was far easier than owning up to the fact that I had acted like an irredeemable piece of shit toward the girl she supplanted. My pride and my heart were wounded and I couldn’t take it out on the person whose inescapable-in-hindsight decision had caused those injuries since she was no longer taking my calls. So I took it out on her replacement instead. And over the course of the several tumultuous months that followed, I proceeded to meticulously break the heart of another incredible woman who deserved far better.

I have never handled anyone as poorly as I handled ___. She was a dazzling and unequivocal gem, yet I treated her like she meant nothing to me at all. The mere thought of her being with anyone else drove me mad, yet instead of telling her this I told her time and time again that she could never have me all to herself and continued dating other people to underscore my assertion. More than once, I brought her to tears by stating in no uncertain terms that I never wanted to see her again, only to call her the very next night and ask her to come over as if that conversation never happened. I wasn’t simply emotionally abusive to ___, I was utterly fiendish to her. For every year of my life leading up to that one and every year since, I have been proud to conduct myself as a true gentleman, so I will never understand how I was even capable of hurting anyone as persistently and comprehensively as I hurt her. Rest assured, I didn’t understand it at the time, either. Nor did I understand why no matter how awful I was to her, she still saw the best in me and held out hope that I would come to my senses and acknowledge the singularly special thing that was standing right in front of me.

Unfortunately, I realized far too late that the reason ___ did so was because she was deeply in love with me. And I also realized far too late that I was deeply in love with her.

By then I had done about as much damage to her psyche as one person could do to another. Though she wouldn’t know it, my comeuppance was delivered by the next woman I entered into a failed relationship with, who put me through a lot of the same things I put ___ through and came up with several novel doozies of her own for good measure. ___ and I remained in sporadic telephone contact, though we rarely saw each other in person. Bizarrely, this had the upshot of emphasizing the indissoluble strength of our bond, since none of the interactions we had were stilted by our silence and distance—every time we came together, I felt as close to her as ever and she clearly felt the same.

Over the years, we’ve had numerous conversations about what happened between us. I wish to keep those private, but the essence of what has been expressed is that despite everything she considers me one of the people closest to her in the world. She also told me that “Perfect” by The Smashing Pumpkins is her song to me; I listen to it often, even though those beautiful and devastating lyrics always bring tears to my eyes.

Of course, along the way I finally did what she desperately wished I would have done 17 years ago. I came to my senses and acknowledged the singularly special thing that was once standing right in front of me. I made overtures to that effect on a couple of occasions when we once again found ourselves simultaneously single, but they were way overdue. She said she did still love me and always would, but the wall I forced her to build to shield herself from me had grown too tall and sturdy to tear down. A tacit understanding developed between us: we would be friends for the rest of our lives, but I had confused and harmed her enough for one lifetime and she was not willing to give me any chance to add to that abominable legacy. It’s a verdict I had no choice but to accept because it was a much better one than I deserved; she would have been undeniably justified in never wanting to speak to me again.

I know ___ has never wholly resolved the chaos of emotions I stirred within her, neither the amorous nor the angry. Some cuts are too deep to be sutured, and those tend to leave scars. Truthfully, I think she despises me as much as she adores me; she just adores me too much to let the other side win out most of the time. But this paradox is entirely fitting because our entire relationship is a paradox, a saga of two satellites which have shared each other’s orbit since they were launched and create a blinding explosion when they collide. Last night, she kissed me in the lobby of the Golden Nugget casino and we melted into each other just like we did that first time in Cahuilla Park, seventeen years erased by the touching of lips. When we came up for air, she wrapped her arms around me and buried her face against my chest and said, “god, I hate you,” with so much love in her voice that it made my stomach swim. It was the perfect thing for her to say in that moment, both because it is absolutely true and because it is the absolute opposite of the truth.

We had a delightful night on Fremont Street, both of us properly investigating that very cool region of the city for the first time. We had some drinks and we listened to some music and we played some poker and we held hands as we walked the promenade. For a few hours, we got to be the couple both of us wanted to be at one time or another, just never at the same time; we even fought like a couple for part of that span, since the resentment and pain she’s had to bury deep within herself to continue accepting me into her life despite my previous sins still gets triggered from time to time when we speak of the past. Regardless, I wouldn’t have changed a second of it. The night was absolutely magical, because ___ is absolutely magical.

But the spell of Las Vegas gets broken once you realize that nothing there is real. There’s an axiom people use to justify all manner of debauchery they engage in while visiting Sin City: “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” Tonight ___ is out with a large group of people who esteem her, and I am alone in a smoky room sitting at my laptop, which is a lot closer to what our individual non-Las Vegas lives look like. This artificial vacation existence in which we were united as one happened in Vegas and will stay in Vegas, because it has to. Because, truthfully, the life she built for herself without me is much richer than the life I built for myself without her. Tomorrow morning I will get in my truck and exit this city of lights to travel back across a stretch of barren desert the length of two mix-CDs, and after I arrive home I will spend the next interminable number of days and nights sitting at my laptop in a room that is less smoky than this one but no less lonely. Meanwhile, tomorrow morning ___ will continue to work her fascinating job and then she will leave the country on some adventure, and no matter where she is and what she’s doing, she will be surrounded by people whose company is far more gratifying to her than mine ever could be.

The hours we spent holding hands on Fremont Street were unreal. But they were also so real that I am still reeling from the aftershock of our latest satellite collision. Our relationship, both the real and the unreal, befits that manner of contradiction. I don’t think ___ and I are still in love with each other, but I do still love her in a way that I have never loved anyone else. I have committed unconditionally to other women in her absence and redistributed the connection we share into a more manageable framework, but whenever there is no one in my life I can’t help but recognize that there very well could be if I hadn’t once been a soulless beast to someone who was merely pleading for me to appreciate them the way they sincerely deserved to be appreciated. ___ is without a doubt one of the most phenomenal and inside-out beautiful human beings I have ever known and I cannot conceive of my life without her in it, yet I still to this day find it difficult to face her. Every moment I spend with ___ feels like a gift, but those moments also sting in equal measure, because she is a walking reminder of me at my absolute worst.

I don’t think she has ever truly forgiven me. I’m not sure she really ever could, or should. Nothing I do today can undo what I did yesterday. I know that no matter how exhilarating it feels to look into her gorgeous and soulful eyes after we kiss in a glittering alternate universe, there are times when she looks at me and only sees a man who likely hurt her worse than anyone else she has ever known. I know there is a part of her that will always love me, but I also know there’s a part of her that wishes she had never even met me.

While I can only suppose what the world might look like if I had treasured her instead of trashing her all those years ago, I am positive that it would look far better and brighter than it does now. I’m aware that even if I had done the right things then, it’s improbable we would still be together today. Very few relationships go that distance, and despite our exceptional chemistry, ___ and I are not effortlessly compatible. I wouldn’t change a single thing about her, but there are unchangeable things about me I know she could not abide and no one should have to. She detests smoking; I enjoy smoking more than I enjoy most other things. She dreams of spending her days traveling and exploring; I dream of sitting in my easy chair and watching blu-rays.

She thinks I was worth falling in love with; I think strongly otherwise.

I don’t specifically wish ___ and I were together now. Yet therein lies another paradox. Because I got a little glimpse of what that might look like last night on Fremont Street, and it looked amazing. But that wasn’t real, that was Las Vegas; what happens there stays there. It was a magnificent movie, but that’s not what our actual lives look like. We could make out, we could gamble, but we could never forget all our troubles—no matter how much she loved me then and loves me now, I will always be one of hers.

So maybe what I do wish is that I could really be the person she was holding hands with in that unreal fantasy, the person who kissed her with abandon in the lobby of the Golden Nugget, the person she gazed at with unbridled tenderness during that joyful interlude when both of us were able to shelve our past and exist solely and safely in our present. The person she hoped I would become before I shattered her hopes by becoming a monster. Regrettably, untethered from our mutual orbit, I grew to be someone else entirely, someone with numerous regrets he can never completely atone for, someone she will always measure with a watchful and skeptical eye to protect herself. Someone who can never be anyone else except who he is. And that person simply would not be capable of making ___ as happy as she deserves to be, because he already had his chance to do that and made her miserable instead.

Besides, he can barely make himself happy most of the time.

###

The trip home is an inexorably depressing conclusion to every great vacation—you’re doing the exact same thing you did when you set off, except there isn’t anything to look forward to when you arrive. Fittingly, an unseasonable rain is coming down when I hit the 15 Freeway. The water-dappled windshield and the desolate unfolding highway ahead evoke another cinematic scene, perhaps a montage in which the central character takes a long drive to think heavy thoughts. At the risk of becoming a cliché, that is exactly what I do.

My mix-CDs play on, the music blurring past with the miles. I hear “Wonderwall” and I hear “Stairway to Heaven”, which are two songs that everyone should listen to extremely loudly on the open road at least once in their life. Seaweed… Tiamat… Purity Ring… My Chemical Romance… P!nk… The Dillinger Escape Plan... Fleetwood Mac… Each one of them imparts a decisively fantastic tune, but this time I’m not singing along. I am instead blinking away tears as it dawns on me exactly how much I am leaving behind in Las Vegas. Not the money I lost at the video poker machines, but the luminous girl I wagered at the age of 23 when I made a much more foolish gamble than I could have ever imagined and ended up losing the most precious thing I never had. The fortune that I lose over and over again every time ___ and I part from each other and return to the real world.

I discover that her hold on me, this cosmic magnetism we share, has not diminished with time. And I discover that the axiom is not absolute—not everything that happens in Vegas stays there; some things follow you all the way home.

That night on Fremont Street, she told me that she will never be completely over me. At least that makes us even in one respect.

Though the imprint I left on her heart was shaped like a bruise, there will always be a piece of mine that is the precise shape and size of ___. That piece belongs to her, and though it is a woeful consolation prize, it is the only one I will ever have the opportunity to give her.

But it does come with a vow: forever and always, whenever and wherever we meet, in Las Vegas and in real life, I promise we’ll be perfect.

May 9, 2019

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jj-lynn21 · 3 years

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tagged by: an everybody tag, I tag everyone else lol

rules: answer the questions and tag users you’d like to know better.

name/nickname: Jennifer/Jen/JJ

gender: female (she / her pronouns)

star sign: Aries

height: 4ft 10inch funsized

time currently: 9:36am

when is your birthday?: March 22

favorite bands/groups: Smashing Pumpkins,

favorite solo artists: Lady Gaga, PINK

song stuck in your head: Bad Things Jace Everett

last movie you watched: Promising Young Woman

last show you binged: True Blood.

when you created your blog: end of 2018 I think to vent my skarsgard love because it is not appreciated in my real world. And so glad I came here because you all have kept me entertained and mind active during this pandemic and my creative side has not bloomed so bright in years.

last thing you googled: Swedish holiday traditions

do you get asks: Sometimes. I do ignore negative ones and any bashing Skarsgard’s because their personal life is none of my business unless they or their significant other or friends post something positive. I take requests for one shots or story ideas. so come say hi and ask about my characters.

why I chose my url: Nickname

how many users are you following: more than I can keep up with but I love others writing and pictures.

how many followers do you have: A good bit. Thank you all.

average hours of sleep: 6-8.

instruments: My Voice. I sing. I have not sang in public for a long while but I enjoy it when my nerves don’t get the best of me. Not the best singer but not the worst.

what I’m currently wearing: dark pink jeggings, a light pink t-shirt with a tan cami under it because it is a little see through. And a pink and white checker flannel shirt over those. This caught me on a very pink day. lol

dream job: I’ve had all my dream jobs as a child on a small level so honestly I just want to keep doing what I started right before this virus shit it. There are rumors of some movies coming to film near me soon and I am more than ready.

dream trip: I want to go to Ireland to track my heritage.

favorite food:pasta and cheese but pretty much cheese with pasta or just cheese. I love cheese.

favorite song: In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel

top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: I’m going to report on all the crazy weird things happening in Castle Rock. I am going to be an under estimated hunter in the Supernatural Universe who has an affair with Sam Winchester. I am a most chased Princess in the Viking age where men and women come to battle for my attentions, I might be evil in that age.

Tagging whoever wants to play 🖤⚡️

#games games games

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malxlawson · 4 years

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— && guests may mistake me as ( halsey ), but really i am ( amalia 'mal' lawson + cis female + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 8/6/1995 ). i am applying for the ( maintenance manager ) position as part of the EHP and would like to live in suite ( 202 ). i should be hired because i am ( + passionate, charismatic, thorough ), but i can also be ( - prideful, dramatic, argumentative ) at times. personally, i like to ( creating street art, volunteer community work, organizing protests ) when off the clock, but that won’t interfere with work. thank you for your consideration!

aaaand here we come with our favorite revamped heathen! mal hasn’t had quite as much changed - just a nice lil face lift and we love that for her.

before we get super into it: we have a stats page and a pinterest for your viewing pleasure.

going a little heavy on the triggers just because i want to be sure to cover all my bases!! most everything is just a mention, but we gotta be safe kids! take care of yourselves and remember ilysm.

( pregnancy tw, miscarriage tw, police brutality mentions tw, substance abuse tw )

- amalia raelle lawson was born august 6th, 1995 to marshal and cherisse lawson in oakland, california.

- marshal owned a local bbq restaurant and cherisse was an er nurse. both grew up in rough neighborhoods with rough childhoods, but vowed to make their kids’ lives better than their own.

- three years after mal came into their lives, they had a son; jayden.

- from that day on, mal had a best friend and confidant that she’d go to the ends of the earth to keep by her side.

- their childhoods weren’t easy in the way most kids are - their mom worked long hours and their dad spent most of his days at the restaurant. when their parents were home though (if cherisse wasn’t sleeping off a shift change), they spent their time with their community - be it at the restaurant or at block parties - trying to better it in any way they could manage.

- police brutality mention tw despite their efforts, their community was still plagued by all the injustices every other predominantly black community faces. from a young age, mal learned that the justice system wasn’t built to serve her or the people she considered family.

- police brutality mention tw she was six the first time she heard about a family friend being a victim of excessive force; nine when she saw it. for years after that, she saw mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and cousins coming to mourn their loved ones - either locked up or taken from them too soon.

- instead of becoming numb to these tragedies, a fire was lit in amalia to change the system - even if she had to dismantle it one piece at a time.

- in the mean time, mal found an outlet for her emotions in art - specifically painting. she started with watercolors and crayolas, but once her parents realized her abilities were beyond what they should have been for a kind her age, they put whatever extra they could manage into mal and her passion for art.

- she was fourteen when she was introduced to street art - graffiti, if you want to get technical. his name was trey and amalia was instantly enamored by him. trey ran with a rougher crowd than mal was used to, but he softened around her.

- pregnancy tw they were young, in love, and reckless. she was fifteen when mal found out she was pregnant. while she wasn’t thrilled about becoming another statistic, she was thrilled about the idea of having a child.

- not entirely pleased with the situation, but always willing to support their children, mal’s parents welcomed trey into the family with open arms and began planning what was sure to be a life full of love for the newest addition to the lawson family.

- miscarriage tw three months into the pregnancy, amalia started to experience cramping and spotting. worried it may be something serious, she had her mom take her to the hospital. it was there they confirmed that mal was experiencing a miscarriage.

- everything changed after that. amalia was no longer the girl who wanted to fight the world’s injustices - she was just a girl who wanted to fight the world. she was angry and bitter at everyone and everything.

- substance abuse tw her relationship with trey quickly began to deteriorate and she turned, for the first time, to the rougher crew he hung out with. booze and drugs quickly became a way for mal to cope with the pain she carried around. she started small - cigarettes and pot - before graduating to the harder stuff, like coke and prescription pills.

- substance abuse tw skipping school to get loaded became a regular occurrence and when the truancy officers showed up at the lawson’s front door, her parents sat mal down for an at home intervention. for as much as they yelled and cried and offered treatment, amalia wasn’t hearing any of it. it wasn’t until jayden snuck into her room late one night to ask if he was going to lose mal like one of his friends had lost his older brother that mal realized her actions weren’t only effecting her life.

- miscarriage tw just before her junior year - with the help of her parents - mal decided it was best for her to leave public school and finish the rest of her schooling online. the same time she started online schooling, amalia started painting again. something she hadn’t done since she found out she’d miscarried.

- being able to stay home meant mal had the space and time to heal in her own ways. when she wasn’t doing school work, amalia was painting to help clear her head. it took some time, but she was finally able to tell her parents what she was going through, both mentally and physically.

- miscarriage tw after she miscarried, mal started to suffer from chronic period and pelvic pain, as well as painful intercourse. she’d also been suffering from symptoms of depression, all of which help lead her down the destructive path she’d gone down.

- several doctor trips later, mal was diagnosed with endometriosis and depression and quickly began treatments for both. despite starting treatments for her endometriosis, doctors told mal the likelihood of her conceiving again was highly unlikely.

- mal hadn’t expected to hear at 16 that biological children may never be in her future and she was devastated, but she had her support system and their love and willingness to do whatever they could for her helped her cope in a much healthier way.

- by seventeen, amalia was feeling like her life was back on track, though drastically different than she’d imagined. she finished her diploma early and began working for her dad in the restaurant; serving, cooking, even helping fix things when they broke down. slowly but surely, mal mended her relationship with her parents and earned back their trust.

- one day, after some kids had vandalized the restaurant, marshal asked mal if she’d help cover the graffiti. jumping at the chance, amalia spent three days finishing her first big piece - which is still her favorite to this day - a portrait of her family and the community that kept the restaurant going. abstract and colorful, full of life and vibrancy, mal’s piece drew a lot of attention and several offers for her to commission other pieces.

- for the next three years, mal worked at the restaurant and took commissions when she could. life seemed normal again. she even reconnected with trey, mending the relationship that had been broken.

- the day trey proposed was the happiest day of mal’s life. she’d been beyond thrilled! after everything they’d been through, he still wanted to be with her. unfortunately, the bliss didn’t last. their engagement abruptly ended and mal decided it was best if she get away for a while, so as to not slip back into destructive patterns.

- a quick google search brought amalia to the malnati website and their employee housing program. applying was a no brainer and a month later she and jayden were packing their bags and moving to chicago.

- she started as a maid and, in the four years she’s been there, has moved up to the maintenance manager position.

hcs!

- when she’s not working, mal’s usually painting in her suite or sketching at one of the many parks in chicago during the day. at night, you’ll find her taking full advantage of chicago’s nightlife. night’s in for mal lawson are few and far between.

- drugs tw she skates a fine line when it comes to sobriety. she’s careful to drink or use just enough to be sure she’ll have a good time, but it’s a slippery slope. in the four years she’s been in chicago, mal’s slowly started doing more and more, telling herself she’s got a handle on it. truth be told, she’s teetering on the edge of a full blown problem again.

- super into video games, but partial to anything involving zombies. mal loves a zombie - don’t ask me why. she’s usually down to play among us, valorant, fortnight, and is always down for a little animal crossing when she needs something more chill.

- 90′s hip hop & r&b are mal’s shiiiiiit. she’s at her happiest when she’s got a little tupac on in the background.

- also don’t you dare try to tell her he’s not alive in cuba somewhere living his best life. she ain’t havin’ it.

- when she’s angsty/sad/angry her go to playlist is a lot of punk, rock, grunge. especially of the 90′s persuasion. she stays on brand. her favorites are the offspring, nirvana, the foo fighters, soundgarden, stone temple pilots, the smashing pumpkins, sonic youth, and pixies.

- she’s gluten intolerant and vegetarian.

- mal is a cult classic movie kind of gal. donnie darko, pulp fiction, rocky horror are all on her list of favorites. she’s never going to turn down a good horror/thriller marathon, either.

- she plays a little piano and a little guitar. she picked them up after she started online schooling. she finds both relaxing. she’s by no means going to make a career out of it, but it’s fun!

- hella resting bitch face, but she really is super friendly! she just doesn’t always look it.

- don’t test her, though. she’s got attitude for days and she isn’t afraid to let you know what she thinks or how she feels about you. we ain’t got no time for games, okay?! okay.

- amalia has also very much immersed herself in community work since moving to chicago, especially on the south side. if her parents taught her anything growing up, it’s that she should give back the her community as much as she’s able.

- a lot of her street art celebrates women of color and their beauty.

- not a fan of cops, still. soz pals.

- when it comes to work, she does her best to make the malnati a decent place to work. she’s all about positive reinforcement and making sure she takes care of her employees. she’s not gonna shy away from telling you ya fucked up, though. she’ll say it with love, though, while also calling you a giant pain in her ass. but with love. okay?! okay.

wanted connections!

- hook ups! : mal is a RAGING bisexual and is not at all afraid to make her appreciation for someone’s physical appearance known. just don’t expect to stay the night. once the deed is done you’ve got about thirty seconds to vacate mal’s suite.

- softies! : make. her. soft. give me someone who makes her break her no sleep over rule, pls and thank. she’s a stubborn, pain in the ass, and sassy af but someone who can make her melt? and act like a teenager in love again? all gooey and gross? yuh. pls.

- good influence! : someone she doesn’t have to drink and party with to have a good time! remind her that she misses things when she’s not sober - that the world is still beautiful and inspiring even when she’s not in a drug induced haze.

- chill baes! : drugs tw people mal just ~ v I b E s ~ with! probs smokin’ a decent amount of weed together.

- protest pals! : people who are also involved in the community and social justice movements. they happily bail each other out of jail (or, more likely, sit in the back of a squad car together) and attend protests together. bc the buddy system. overthrow the government safely ty.

- rivals! : mal’s got a big mouth and some seriously controversial opinions. she’s not afraid to call people out for being ‘wrong’ and calling them...creative names. she’s bound to have a giant list of people who aren’t her biggest fans.

- bad girl’s club : need i say more? give. me. the girl gang. constantly partying and constantly getting into some kind of mischief and leaving a trail of broken hearts as they go.

if you made it this far, you deserve SEVERAL high fives and literally all my love. ily all v much and uh, yuh. let’s plot pals. :)

#amalia | ooc #malnatiooc #malnatiintro #insert dj khalid *anotha one* gif here pls

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