#and then i guess itd be really interesting to see if she becomes more and more corrupt and eventually does get executed
Text
RE danganronpa not having the best writing I was talking to a friend the other day about v3 about how it sucks that they set up Kaede to be the protagonist but then killed her off because while yes, Shuichi is a very good protagonist and he’s the only one that really gets interesting character development, Kaede could have so easily been an insanely interesting protagonist if she got to live because she has plenty of room to grow since she’s very clearly scared shitless and is deeply insecure about her ability to motivate and lead the group, but she smiles through it and lies about her feelings so much that the player doesn’t even know about her creating an elaborate murder scheme. And I realized that the way to keep her as a protagonist is for there to be a way that the first trial ends and someone else is found to be the killer (for example it could be Tsumugi if she weren’t the mastermind, or maybe someone else was in the library and killed Rantaro) and they get executed and thats that. Then at the end of the chapter we get a scene where Kaede is alone in her room and sighs in relief as it’s revealed that she hatched an elaborate plan to kill the mastermind but she wasn’t found guilty, either because she wasn’t the actual killer or because she was being protected by the mastermind. And so we the player have to proceed with the new knowledge that Kaede not only wanted to kill someone, she actually went through with a whole plan to kill someone and we didn’t even know about it and neither did any of the characters. And Kaede is on edge because on one hand she has to live with the fact that she was perfectly okay becoming a killer and that she failed to kill the mastermind so the game is going to continue and someone else was unlucky and got executed instead of her,but on the other hand she’s relieved that she wasn’t the one who died and that she was given another chance to find the true mastermind and no one has to know what she did. And as the game progresses it gets more and more stressful for her because she tries to keep up the positive energy but she’s living with this massive secret and she can’t let anyone find out about what she did and she finds herself still wanting to kill the mastermind so we the player don’t know how much we can trust Kaede anymore since she’s lying to everyone including us and she can very well kill again if she wants to
#danganronpa#kaede akamatsu#of course we couldnt have something like this happen cuz yay misogyny killed kaede and also like mentioned#dr doesnt have good enough writing to pull this off lol#yttd is at least able to pull something similar off with sara so at least i have that but still god like can you IMAGINE#how good v3 wouldve been if it had done this and like what i think is really fun is like#shuichi figuring it out cuz you know he would hed know in the first trial but in this version doesnt say anything#and he doesnt have to cuz kaede conveniently isnt the culprit#but like now hes stuck with this knowledge that she so easily couldve been#and you know shuichi is just like that last person shed want to know about this#but shed also be eaten alive by guilt from keeping it from him cuz she trusts him most and was the one encouraging him to pursue the truth#even if its unpleasant#so i like to imagine one of two scenarios like either shuichi eventually confronts kaede about this after shes become a bit more corrupt#and he plans to tell and shes forced to kill him to keep her secret#or a scenario where shuichi chooses to protect kaede over the truth and he becomes her accomplice#both scenarios would fuck up kaede quite a bit#and then i guess itd be really interesting to see if she becomes more and more corrupt and eventually does get executed#or if she owns up to her mistakes and decides to reveal her truth that shes actually fucking terrified#and she doesnt have as much control as she wants to and she has no clue if its gonna be okay#i think that would fit so good with the truth/lie theme too#goddddd like im so mad now cuz this is just like so good like why cant dr just be good its so easy
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
weird swap au infodump incoming !!!
i was slightly anxious while thinking on other characters in the swap au but given i already made the decision to be a litte Weird with it i guess it’s not too much of an issue. everythings not really a 1:1 swap
not every single character has a swap because i want to center in on the primary cast. maybe that’ll change later and we’ll get ideas for less relevant characters and how we could change them around but for now try not to expect things like idk “ikutsuki and elizabeth swap” or some scary shit like that
i am admittedly struggling with what to do w the twins (the protags are twins in this au like with every other thing i make) outside of them still having the connecting line of losing their parents to an accident on moonlight bridge. they just didn’t get death sealed in them this time. but uh hey you don’t need that to happen to you for the events to result in Deep Issues. i think there IS something interesting there in that they wind up coming back to iwatodai all those years later, and they get roped into sees because of course they do. i think it’d be interesting to explore them through the lens of being normal party members at least. the only thing is that you don’t really get a solid ‘swap’ situation with them since mitsuru maintains some of their canon qualities while still not exactly moving from her typical role as heir to the kirijo group. more on that as me and the bestie talk details over
we actually are planning some pretty fun stuff with ryoji?? the wonderful thing is that ryoji is by all intents and purposes just a normal fucking guy in this au given all the appriser stuff goes to yukari. but as a general rundown here’s what he has going on
childhood friend to the twins, loves them dearly. was very sad when they moved after the accident, and overjoyed after they transferred back.
has a younger brother named pharos:)
the mochizuki family was close with the takebas, particularly eiichiro was close with them. you can imagine where im going with this. his death was a tragedy to them, but more than anything it spurs something on in ryoji as he grows older. the alignment of the accident resulting in eiichiro's death and the death of the twins' parents occurring in such a close span of time bothers ryoji. for something that had such a massive negative impact on the lives of two people that are insanely important to him to potentially have more behind it than meets the eye, it becomes a vague obsession. which of course, eventually leads him to sees.
his role replacing yukari in this au gives him a fraught relationship w mitsuru. his distrust is very…intimidating, because it’s not nearly as outright as canon yukari’s. when he’s pointing out inconsistencies in what info mitsuru lets them have, he’s calm, sporting a smile, but emitting coldness. mitsuru herself of course isn’t Unaware of the effect the kirijo group’s work has had on him, but i think being incapable of getting a proper read on ryoji a lot of the time definitely does her no favors.
next lets talk about aigis! i had a little too much fun adapting her.
taking after canon kikuno's role, aigis was a human child sold to the kirijo group. she has a naturally-awoken persona (something something ergo research offers a higher payout to her parents because of this)
after the failure of the persona experiments resulting in strega, aigis is adopted by a handful of scientists from ergo research (this is essentially a timeline where the events of aigis the first mission dont happen, at least not the same way. i figured itd be fun to give the characters introduced in that game an active role in this au). she lives in yakushima with them.
her upbringing has left her socially awkward and distant, and trust is hard for her to fully feel. the intention on behalf of her guardians was to make sure she wouldnt have to give herself to the group as a weapon if she didnt want to, while having a family that cares for her and is able to meet her needs as someone with a very unique situation. she accompanies them if they need to do something during the dark hour because shes capable of protecting them with her persona.
aigis is still recruited to sees during the yakushima trip. a la the movie, she protects mitsuru and ryoji from a hoard of shadows after they leave the kirijo estate at night without their evokers. knowing of sees due to how long shes been in proximity to the group, she asks to be transferred into their unit so that she can help directly combat the dark hour so it wont be a danger to her family anymore. she would still very much view herself as a weapon raised by the kirijo group despite her adoptive family trying so hard to help her unlearn it. she experiences some pushback about it of course because its inadvertently feeding into something she is meant to be unlearning, but she wants strongly for it so its not like they can fully deny her.
thats everything we've got cemented so far...we still have to figure out the other members of sees that need swapping but for now you can have these doodles. a kiku + some concepts for human aigis and non-protag femc
#quinn moment#quinn drawings#<- ill figure it out one of these days.#open to suggestions as usual...#kym swap au
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
i cant even lie to u bald avery has become such a problem 4 me (/POS!!!!) i was doing one of my semifrequent rereads of paperteeth i do when i need a grasp on how 2 write their characters again nd i got whiplash seeing normal avery. my ass is NOT ready 2 perceive her usual form again on thursday (if ur updating that is!! pls do not feel pressured,,,)
do u perchance have any spare lore about avery (that isnt in blatant spoiler territory ofc),,,i dotn have any specific questions 2 help but i miss her. avtually i lied ive thought of one (1)
does she. does she paint her claws black or are they just Like That. the mental image of avery potentially just sitting there with a bottle of vantablack nail polish casually painting fuckign. CLAWS is so funny 2 me
I cant stop balding her its a problem like i think she needs to be baldified at some point bc i need her to exist in that form officially. ( i will i definitely wanna try stick to updating these next few weeks, bc of reasons )
avery lore.... im still pretty bad at thinking of things 2 mention unless asked direct questions but here are some extremely mundane things:
she can drive but she doesnt have a car. thats really boring. uh. lore. avery facts. all of her cutlery is silver, all her knives are silver, pretty much anything metal she owns is silver, same goes for her entire family so interacting with them, ever is gonna be a pain. (avery adopts gloves pretty quickly 2 be able to touch silver. and not get got by it (scarlet also does this quite often, u can see her wearing gloves in her introduction)) she doesnt have her ears pierced and now cant, because itd close up / reject immediately. (doesnt have them pierced bc she was always nervous about people ripping them out but more importantly just wouldnt be interested in wearing earrings) these are all really mundane facts. alive she was pretty neurotic about staying healthy (not bc she cares abt it for the sake of her wellbeing just parental influence 2 b perfect form 4 vampire murder always as long as possible) but she drinks a little more than she'd like to admit. (alcohol, not blood, though she drinks more blood than she'd like to admit, too. I guess. which isnt very much) is a little insecure about her nose crinkle when its pointed out but doesnt think about it outside of that. wears tall shoes so she can feel taller 2 the detriment of her ankles. works out exclusively from home refuses to do so in public spaces. she doesnt have much basic knowledge of subjects outside of tha supernatural... shes a little out of touch with non vampire hunter life, forgets most people actually dont think about vampires very much. after being forced to watch tv or movies she wont admit whether or not she likes something until the person she watched it with shares their opinion and she will lie accordingly (otherwise embarrassed) likes to be taken care of but wont let anyone take care of her becasue as you can see, shes LIKE THAT. modern day 2023 despite being much less pathetic, avery still tosses and turns all night (day) and scarlet has to put some weird asmr roleplay you're a worm and im making you a terrarium to thrive in (whispered) 3+ hour long youtube video in front of her to get any sleep. scarlet would totally make asmr actually. she'd make you're a wooden spork that i'm carving (DIY asmr, soft spoken). averys favourite blood type is A, not bc a for avery just because it tastes better to her. she doesnt know that in canon though. shes very intense about taking agnes to the vet whenever she does anything weird, shes always fine though and avery just gets got with vet bills. she found her in the bin. bin cat. meow. did i say that before? i think mightve sorry if that isnt fresh lore. avery & scarlet miss being warm it rly sucks being cold all the time. like. obviously. but like damn. that must suck, I hate being cold.
anyway I could go on.
the claws r naturally black but tbh she should paint them different colours 2 cope with the despair. theyre so inconvenient. she needs some kinda positive association with them. she has to custom order gloves to cover them up, cant just buy normal gloves bc the claws just. go through. they need to have a little point for her claws like little finger scabbards (she doesnt have claws on her feet but her toenails r also black 2 match. no reason other than i think itd look weird if they didnt. no intention of drawing her without socks on though so it doesnt matter-thats some lore.... other lore, the discoloured hands (like the greyness in some drawings i've posted) is a thing on its own aside from the claws, and does go away, but the claws are permanent. i think i said that though.
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
ztd crossover with kh but it's just Carlos meeting Terra, Diana meeting Aqua and Sean meeting Ven. Cursed or blessed concept. Go
HM. WELL. i immediately leaned toward cursed bc like (gestures vaguely at ztd) but that feels mean so im gonna try putting some thought into this
Carlos and Terra :] very good pair for the most part i think. just 2 big older bros doing what they do to try to help people.. but it all goes to shit kupo. i can see them getting along pretty well, both due to their personal experiences and bc of who they are in general. also now that i think abt it its kinda funny that both of them happen to be plagued by visions but only Carlos' have an actual explanation?? Terra morphogenetic field moment?? even funnier is that both of them have the same "welp. anyway" reaction to it like yeah this just happens sometimes 👍 kind of unfortunate Terra couldnt use his to prevent bad things from happening too but oh well. its not like hopping timelines is that easy in his universe anyway. Terra still gets bonus points on an individual level bc while there was very little he couldve done differently there Are things Carlos couldve just uh. not done. yknow. things that i think Terra would kick his ass over tbh
Diana and Aqua.... oof. on god we're gonna get u girls some therapy. they were both so severely fucked over by like. literally everything from ingame events to the narrative itself. trapped in two different but absolute hellholes of sitautions for Very Long Amounts of Time and only called upon as a pawn in a game that both defines and ruins their lives and their entire world, and they barely even know it. and the only people they get to talk to at some point in their respective hells are Sigma and Micheal Mouse (and Terra sort of).. yea i think id lose it too tbh. its interesting that Diana was a 100% crucial part of why ztd happened while Aqua's role in Xehanorts plan wasnt really until ddd/kh3 unless u count him planning the whole end of bbs.. before that she was more of an outside force? not that taking her out wouldnt change anything ofc but her direct actions were more harmful to the overall plan than going according to it. i might need to play bbs again to confirm that more but uhh i forgot where i was going with this. i could see them getting along but i dont really remember enough about Diana as a person to know just how well they would? i guess itd at least be nice to have someone else who knows what their oddly specific and horrific situations are like, more or less
finally Sean n Ven.. Man. talk abt kids who cant catch a break for their entire lives no matter how outragously short OR long. they both just have a Lot going on and play some of the most major roles in their respective stories and god knows they didnt ask for any of it!! tho weirdly enough i dont feel much for Sean considering how he fits into the kinda characters i usually get attached to. but maybe thats just bc it was ztd. anyway !! out of the 3 duos here i think these two are most likely to become actual friends. from the memory fuckery to having a greater role in everything than they couldve imagined (both of them essentially being a key at some point..) to even just. having a very limited world in some way. and not having full control over their bodies. and several other major things im probably forgetting they both have. lots and lots and lots of things. they are friends to me
and just some general other thoughts - while im. not entirely sure how to feel abt what ztd does with the morphogenetic field i can at least appreciate the weird memory stuff that comes with body hopping and the possibilities that has when tied to all the other weird memory stuff that already happens in kh for similar or different reasons. like the way ztd (and vlr to some extent) went about it didnt quite hit the way i wanted it to but the concept is cool to me? itd be fun to play around with it in the context of kh i think. or vice versa. altho maybe introducing multiple timelines to the kh universe isnt the best idea.. hm. much to think about
but yeah!!!! overall verdict: mostly blessed with some underlying hints of cursed. like a weird aftertaste
#just realizing that i wrote the whole Diana n Aqua one under the assumption that Diana would remember that but i#honestly have no idea if she does.?#ive been thinking abt this for DAYS u have no idea#i feel like i couldve gone more in depth with most of this but every time ive gone to write more on this its been like 6am#ty for this tho it was fun trying to think abt all this :3#id like to hear what u think abt each of em as well - i never thought abt the parallels between em all but they do fit each other well#ask#mortellanarts#ztd#kh
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
OHMKYGOSH YES i j read ur sashisu ramble… and i love love love hearing ab other people’s hyperfixations so don’t worry :33
mainly the fact that none of them could be open or vulnerable with each other …. to be honest i havent looked at sashisu very closely before but this hit me bc. I FEEL LIKE I RELATE SM :; like. i have a best friend who i’ve known since i was a baby but we’ve never ever had a serious conversation once… maybe this is unrelated but that is so tragic because to me friendships really struggle to be strong and stable against one another if you can’t ever show the side of you that’s struggling … being vulnerable w one another is key to bonding :’3
i have some thoughts about them— mainly shoko…. to me it kinda seems like she kept them at an arms length away this entire time on purpose and she still does…. maybe i’m spitballing idk i’m just basing it off the fact that satoru and suguru called her shoko but she still referred to them by surname even ‘til where we currently r in the manga (which. i will also ignore but i cant lie the memes were so funny…) but my thinking is that she did so because. even though we never really saw her much i think that’s it since she was a reversed ct user n probably didn’t have much experience fighting… maybe. hear me out just MAYBE she knew what might become of satoru and suguru since they were so enveloped in fighting and being the strongest, and both of them were so headstrong and arrogant for lack of a better term that she might’ve just… tried to keep herself from getting attached n being hurt even more than she already might’ve been simultaneously 😞😞
that still just makes me so so sad though….. they always looked so happy when they were together… maybe if they could’ve gotten suguru to talk and really listened to him for once…. alas ;; gege is an evil thing
U GET IT RIKO…
i feel exactly the same, i have two childhood friends who im very close to but none of us have ever been the type to really be vulnerable like that w each other and !! i absolutely think that strong connections need that, u need to be able to show even ur weaker side… n i guess the tragedy of suguru’s character is that he never felt comfortable showing his ”weak self” to shoko and satoru. T_T he will always make me cry like no other ….
BUT YES SHOKO !!! ur so valid riko. i love this woman so much n i think shes so interesting to talk abt !! ive been thinking abt the name thing too, i feel like its very telling of the sashisu dynamic; the fact that satoru and suguru ONLY (and i mean only) ever referred to each other w their given names, even after suguru’s defection… and how shoko refers to them as ”gojo” and ”geto” even though gojo still calls her shoko…,
i think its super interesting !! i rly rly wish i was able to read the og japanese manga, bc i feel like so many little language details like that get lost in translation (esp since the official jjk translation is kinda bad lol)… i wish we knew if shoko called them by their given names in high school, i want to think so but we just dont know </3
(i could be wrong but there was a translation on a recent chapter i read where shoko switched between ”satoru” and ”gojo”…… obv i dunno how accurate it is but i think itd be cool if we saw her start calling him satoru :’3 im delusional i still think my baby’s coming back)
but !! regardless i def think ur onto smth. i 100% see her as the type to get very detached to the ppl around her. thats why she seems so unbothered !! even tho she obv cares very much…. i think she loved both of them but she wasnt able to broach that gap between them, and after suguru’s defection i absolutely think she repressed herself even more…..
but its obvious that she still cares for them. like how she started smoking again after gojo got sealed / she found out abt kenjaku using geto’s body :((….
and yes i rly do think sugu couldve been saved if they had managed to open up like that <///3 thats what fanfic is for ig :’3… sob…..
1 note
·
View note
Text
I have gone back and forth between INFP, ENFP, ISFJ and even INTP an unbelievable amount of times but now I feel that INFP and ENFP aren’t really options anymore....
I think ENP; ENFP may be accurate, based on what you wrote. I don't necessarily see high Ti and Fe, but I do see some Fi being drowned out by intuition:
I deeply, deeply fear becoming apathetic without noticing. I fear forgetting who I am (If that makes sense. So for example, there are mornings I wake up and am in such a daze, I can’t remember my opinions, goals, interests—the things that make me me—and feel paralyzed until I can remember those things even though I just woke up and it makes total sense for me to not have my head screwed on straight.). <- wouldn't needing to be true to your inner self be Fi?
I can never really communicate correctly—whether it’s a problem with inflection or simply my words. But at the same time, I feel deeply, I just don’t trust myself to lead with that or make decisions on feelings. <- SAME. Because I am an ENFP 6w7. ;)
Each slight emotional episode leaves me in a puddle of tears. It’s really an all or nothing thing and it SUCKS. I wish I was more balanced. Also, it’s much safer to me to make decisions based on pure logic and if it’s not something I can decide based on only logic, I NEED input from others.
This is being a 6, and could be FiTe as well. But you need to elaborate on what you consider to be logic -- Ti and Te are different things. Te is facts/evidence-based logic, and Ti is internal understanding logic. So say I as an ENFP 6w7 want to make a decision, I consider, what are the ramifications of this? what will real impact will it have on my life / situation? What are the facts, going into this? I care less about how it works (though as a 6 I am constantly questioning, analyzing, and trying to understand -- which I misconstrued as Ti for a while) than that it will achieve what I want it to achieve. Being a 6 means being linear in your thinking and intentional in what you do, but that looks differently paired with Ti than Te (ENTP-6: linear thinking + needs depth of understanding; ENFP-6: linear thinking + driven to complete projects in tangible ways).
Anyway yes, now I have to say that when you’re book first came out and you typed out that example of how your experience at the dinner table with a friend and her family pointed to your being an ENFP without you even knowing about MBTI yet. I have never related to anything more. I was reading that paragraph like, “Yes. Yes. Omg me. Yes.” So I guess that also points to Ne right?
That was actually a Fi-driven example. Had I been a Fe, I would have chimed right in and said YUM, because I would have known that's what's expected and had no problem going along with it; being awkward and feeling that would seem insincere and wanting to be sincere at the cost of Fe common courtesy is an example of Fi-based thinking (this makes sense in an emotional way to me, even if they don't understand it). :)
I envy how sure my ISFP friend is of herself and values. She always knows what she wants and it’s magic to me, even when I thought I was an INFP and I feel like if I actually was an INFP, I wouldn’t be THAT amazed because itd be natural to me also. <- this is true and rules out INFP.
Have you read on in my book? When you read the ENFP's Fi section, you may identify with periods of not knowing yourself, because you are caught up in ideas and thoughts and perspectives that are not your own, as a Ne.
Again, I would say either ENTP or ENFP. You strike me as a Ne-dom.
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
☼ humble (Johanna Mason) ☼
summary; ‘ hmmmm maybe a johanna fic with a reader from the capitol or like district one/two?? i think itd be interesting to see johanna realise that not every rich person is a completely shit person and reader realise johanna is that bitter for good reason ‘
warnings; swearing
wc; 1.3k
–
You wish that your name hadn’t been pulled out of that glass bowl. If it hadn’t, you would be at home, in District One right now. Worrying about meaningless things, rather than trying to figure out how to make a new alliance with the reputation that’s on your head.
You’ve approached so many people already today, hoping that someone will take a liking to you. But they’re either afraid, or ignore you entirely. A good example of this, is when you tried the bug station with Cecelia and Woof, and they were so stunned that you had joined them, that they never resumed what they were doing.
Later, you went over to Wiress and Beetee, hoping that they’d be willing to pass on some knowledge but they gave you the cold shoulder. You caught the hint a couple of minutes in, and when you realized that you had spent enough time there for it not to be awkward to leave, you got up.
The only two people in this room who have no clue who you are, and don’t have some sort of guess on what your personality is, are Katniss and Peeta. Individually, they joined you for a quick training session. Although Katniss mostly just watched, the company was nice to have anyway.
She seemed pretty surprised over something, you’re not sure exactly what. If you were to take a vague guess, it might be because you’re not hanging out with Gloss, Enobaria and Brutus like the careers normally do. In fact, you’ve split from them entirely, hoping not to get caught up in their schemes.
It’s no secret that their plan is going to be to kill Katniss and Peeta, that part is obvious. However, you can’t stomach it at all. You’re not the same person you were, when you went in ten years ago. It was upsetting to you when your name got called, and no one had volunteered over you. It’s like they did it on purpose.
Not even Cashmere had stepped in. She didn’t want anything to do with it.
You suppose your victory and then manners after have been some sort of stain on District One for a while. You didn’t develop the same egotistical and selfish traits like they did. Really, you went the opposite way. You realized that your win wasn’t really something to celebrate. You lost a part of yourself in that arena each time you killed someone.
And you can’t stomach the idea of going after Katniss and Peeta, because you have an advantage on them, of sorts. You’re older, a little more experienced because of the training you were given before your first games. You had a whole squad of allies, while they have absolutely nothing. The thought of killing these kids that have just won their games is sad to you. They don’t even get the chance to become themselves again.
Well, Peeta might have if he hadn’t volunteered over Haymitch. Katniss was given no choice, though. Her name was the only one inside of the girls bowl.
Just a pair of kids in a sea of adults.
Anyway, Katniss seemed to assess you like she was considering all your attributes and what you’d bring to the table in an alliance. As for Peeta, he just seemed to enjoy the conversation, and the little tips you would teach him when he fought. By the end of the session, he was better than when he had started.
By the time lunch time has finally rolled around, you’ve still made no footing on a valuable impression, and you’re even beginning to consider going back to your career friends. There’s no doubt that they’ll take you back, the more the merrier they say.
In the lunch area, mostly everyone works together to push the tables together. It opens up more conversations, and forces you guys to speak whether you like it or not. You sit across from Johanna, who’s between Blight and Finnick. You stare down at the stew that the Capitol had provided.
“Too poor for your taste buds?”
You look up, Johanna’s squinting at you. The boys on either side of her pay no attention, already engaged in conversations of their own.
You give a smile, “No, the food here is fantastic--”
“You’re probably used to it because it’s close to the shit you eat back home, right?” Johanna says, taking a spoonful, “Because you’ve had a full belly every night before bed.”
You make a face, “I lived in one of the poorer parts of one when I was a kid.” her face relaxes, “Which isn’t as poor as the other districts like twelve.” your eyes dart over to Katniss and Peeta, who’re talking to each other. You look back to Johanna, “But I still know what it’s like to be on the near bottom of the food chain.”
It’s quiet between the two of you, because she clearly wasn’t expecting an answer like that. She still recovers quite well, “Doesn’t answer why you’re not eating.”
“You didn’t give me a chance.” you breathe out a laugh, “You can take it, I’m not hungry. Wouldn’t want it to go to waste, even though that’s not far off for the Capitol.” you roll your eyes, “I mean, drinks that make you throw up? You have to be kidding me.”
Johanna smiles, “Nice to know someone has common sense.”
“Unfortunately I was forced to take it by my district rep so I wouldn’t seem rude.” Johanna makes a noise.
“Oh, tell me about it.”
“It tastes awful, right?” you laugh, and she nods, “Yeah, the color fooled me pretty badly.”
“Mine was a dark green with some glitter.” Johanna says.
“Pink, like hot pink and it tastes like the embodiment of garbage.” you say, and the two of you laugh.
“Why aren’t you with them.” she nods her head in the direction of the others.
“Fresh start. I also don’t really like what they’re planning.”
“Oh, that’s new. Normally you careers are all down for murder and hardly anything else.” Johanna’s spoon makes a sound against the porcelain of her empty bowl. Then, she drops her spoon into yours, and pulls it towards her, “Easy to fool though, all think the same.”
“Not me.”
“That’s what everyone says. The only part that matters is how you prove it.”
“Hard to prove it when no one will give you a chance. Either they’re too busy gaping or refuse to talk.” You say, Johanna looks up, “You seem to be different though. But I guess it’s your grudge against careers that made you talk.”
“You’re not too bad.” Johanna admits, “I expected you to be a lot meaner. Just goes along with how you look.”
“Oh, that’s not rude.” you say, but smile after, “I’d say the same about you, but your whole demeanor is to be mean on purpose, right?”
“No, I’m just so incredibly pissed that I’m back here again. You aren’t?”
“More disappointed that my fellow ladies had left me there. They must know that I’m going to die in there.” you say.
Johanna’s eyebrow quirks, “You’re afraid of dying?”
“Yeah. Didn’t want to go like this. It’s really what kept me alive inside of the games. My will to live and make it back home. Not for the money, not for the status of a victor. I just wanted to go back home.”
“And you still do.” Johanna says, and then she elbows Finnick, who turns towards her, and then to you. She doesn’t say anything to him, “Where do your loyalties lie?”
#ilguna#johanna mason#johanna mason imagine#johanna mason oneshot#johanna mason x reader#johanna mason fanfic#thg#requested
192 notes
·
View notes
Text
im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry
so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit
the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.
Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes
John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.
The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts
Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.
Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao
Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol
Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.
I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?
Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?
I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters
Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.
To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).
Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.
John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled
Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.
somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better
while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation
after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone
theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should
the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.
Oops! All Trans
Everybody is transgender. Everyone
Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam
Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.
Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.
This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.
Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind
John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.
he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone
Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.
I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay
Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that
by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao
I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.
Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom
Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat
This is another one me n ben have come up with lol
The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out
Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.
John
Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him
He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit
Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.
He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town
after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him
Dave
Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels
He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave
He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now
He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....
not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.
Amy
Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real
Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)
Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao
John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao
At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience
also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,
Shitload
Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao
Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!
Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.
He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,
I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload
images !
with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk
im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now
#jdate#john dies at the end#aus#erh. tthe hell do i tag this as#rambles.txt#long post#well let me know if youd wanna hear more or. or something#send an ask. or whatever#yaknow#:jazz hands:
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
So Let's Talk About Star Wars: Into the Dark
I yelled a bit about The Light of the Jedi so now I guess it’s time to unleash all of my thoughts about the next book in the High Republic series.
I liked Into the Dark more than I liked LotJ, partially because I just really like Claudia Gray’s writing (writer of the most iconic scene in the new canon novels, in which Leia shows up to a party in her most Obviously Sinister outfit after the big public scandal about Vader being her father in Bloodline), but also because Charles Soule had to put a lot of energy into introducing the entire High Republic universe over the course of the first book, whereas CG could just get down to business. I also think the slightly pared-down number of characters and plotlines in ItD helped a lot: I spent a lot of LotJ not knowing which characters I should get invested in, because the first third of the book kept introducing characters and then immediately killing them off.
So let’s talk characters because DAMN they are delightful:
Reath Silas, You Fucking Nerd
No, really, the number of times I yelled “oh my god Reath you FUCKING NERD” out loud while reading this book was well into the double digits.
This precious city boy who just wants to read a book and be left alone, to the extent that they unofficially gave him his own desk in the Archives. Bless.
Also, just the sheer innocence of this child thinking that all the adults around him have everything figured out
But also: “I understand prosthetic arms are more advanced than prosthetic legs. More comfortable too.” and then CUTS OFF SOMEONE’S ARM (I had to edit this post like a week after the fact because I can’t believe I forgot about this scene)
The absolute lack of danger sense on this child, I stg... Meeting the scary genocidal plants? "OH MY GOD YOU'RE SENTIENT PLANTS CAN I ASK A FEW QUESTIONS?" Face to face with a Nihil soldier holding a blaster? "I REALLY WANT TO TALK PHILOSOPHY WITH YOU!" Having Cohmac dump a Massively Worrying Bit Of Heresy in his lap? "OH HELL YES, WE'RE GONNA TALK PHILOSOPHY, BEST DAY EVER!"
Speaking of Cohmac...
Cohmac Vitus, A Parade's Worth of Red Flags
Hoo boy...
This guy is the walking embodiment of Every Problem That Is Going To Bite The Jedi Order In The Ass When Anakin Skywalker Comes Along: trauma, repressed emotions, questions that Jedi dogma can't sufficiently answer, got an unexpected Padawan but can barely take care of himself... like, the only thing he's missing is a forbidden romance (Avar and Elzar seem to have that plotline covered, I think/hope...)
None of that is a criticism, by the way: I'm 100% over here with popcorn screaming "YES, FUCK THIS GUY UP"
Everything's going to hell and people are about to attack one another? FLOAT IN MIDAIR BECAUSE WHO'S GONNA MESS WITH THE GUY WHO CAN FUCKING FLY
Orla Jareni, Heading Off to the Jedi Order's Version of Hampshire College
Her plotline felt very much like something from SWTOR, but that might just be because I started playing the Jedi Consular storyline, like, yesterday?
I really liked her flashback plotline because, like with Cohmac, this was another example of "I really wish the Order had addressed this issue before Anakin came along..." Namely, that she spent the flashback mission trying to ignore her instincts in favor of what she was told, and it naturally led to a catastrophe. I got a lot of shades of "I keep having dreams about my mother dying! Eh, it's probably nothing..." so anyway, I spent a lot of Orla's plotline silently yelling.
Also THANK YOU CLAUDIA GRAY for this amazing new addition to canon: "Orla had recently declared herself a Wayseeker--a Jedi who would operate independently of the dictates of the Jedi Council. Some Jedi, from time to time, found themselves drawn to a period of solitary action, whether that meant meditation on a mountaintop, helping revolutionaries on a tyrant-ruled world, or even, in one legendary instance, becoming a minor singing sensation on Alderaan." I HAVE ABOUT HALF A DOZEN FIC IDEAS NOW, MOSTLY AROUND OBI-WAN BECOMING A TEEN HEARTTHROB POP IDOL.
Dez Rydan, the Cool Kid?
This guy gave me serious Ganner Rhysode vibes and so I was not in any way surprised when he got the absolute shit kicked out of him, because he basically had Doom written all over him. I was, however, surprised that he survived?
The Barash Vow was really interesting, and I was actually relieved that the Jedi Order had something close to rehabilitation, even if it was just "meditate a lot."
Leox Gyasi, aka "Master Yoda on (Medicinal) Spice"
There's a canonically asexual character in the GFFA!!!
Which would make him...
...wait for it...
...
...
...an ACE PILOT
(ducks)
Anyway, Leox is played by Tim Rozon-as-Doc-Holliday-in-Wynonna-Earp and you cannot take that mental casting away from me.
Affie Hollow, You Sweet Summer Child
Yeah, that about sums it up, though I love that she really did think she could change her Bird Mafia Mom.
I also really hope that this isn't the last we'll see of her.
She suffers through Reath's explanation of what Jedi are and then asks what is quickly becoming The Question of the High Republic series: "So do Jedi have sex or not?"
Geode: Stone Groot
I just want to say how ELATED I am that there was NO EXPLANATION for what Geode's deal was other than: he's a Vintian, from Vint rock person. That's it.
#star wars#star wars the high republic#the high republic#star wars spoilers#into the dark#star wars into the dark
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Finale commentary under the cut
So I wanted to kind of liveblog as I was watching but held back so these are my remembered reactions/second watch reactions
Bummed there was no song recap but quickly figured itd play at the end
PUPPY. Best part of the ep, lbr, Dean was so cute with him
Theyre really doing a cheesey life montage huh - still not clear whether monsters are a thing in this new world?
I was watching the mins tick by during this first montage like OKAY we get it, cheesey happy home life, move along. There was only 40 mins left of the whole show like get on with it, it went way too long
We definately needed to restablished that Sam is neat while Dean is messy. Totally necessary to spend time on that. Also didnt Dean get houseproud when they moved into the bunker?? What happened to that?
OMG get on with it
Then becomes apparent that hunting is still a thing. Which if so what was the point of showing then doing fucking laundry and dishes while “Ordinary life” plays - if its not just an ordinary life?
At this point i thought it might go the route of them being listless without hunting as a job but then murder scene so I guess not
This whole pie sequence is stupid and a waste of time, we all know it
Dean being a cold, heartless bitch about everyone being dead. Aces. Not unexpected but still just great. How dare you be so happy about pie fuck you dude.
DOES ANYONE REMEMBER EILEEN
Pie is the face is not funny my dudes come the fuck on
I started skipping through during the murder scene. I was bored. Like, I dont care about tension building to the murder of a family we dont fucking know. Ive always skipped these scenes, what is the damn point. Its not scary or interesting.
GET ON WITH IT
Same old FBI bullshit. Nice to see the journal again I guess. But like, this is STILL what we’re doing? In the very last ep? Same old, different day, just like 15 years ago. Really?
Singer and Kripke. Subtle.
I skipped through the interrogation too. I dont find the scary brother act cool or entertaining
15 mins in and nothing has happened
Theyre trying so hard to give Dean jokes and nothing is landing, its so cringe just stop
The way the little clown faces pop up - if that supposed to be scary? Really? Its all just so silly rn
Watching it again I realise just how easy this hunt is. The answer is in the journal. They find the exact family. They find the exact barn. The kids are just stood in a cupboard. This is what takes Dean out, really? Its not even a normal hunt, its a way too fucking easy one.
I do not remember this chick or what ep she was in, maybe theres some parallell or foreshadowing by bringing her back but if there is I dont get it
Bottom line if youre gonna bring people back WHY THE FUCK THIS RANDOM GIRL
I knew so fast he was gonna go out like that. Hanging from a fucking nail
I kept saying out loud not like this, no way, this is so stupid, its so stupid omg
I paused and tried to talk myself into putting aside how stupid and awkward it was for him to be doing this scene hanging off a pole and just try to invest in the emotion of the speech. Which I achieved at times
but why was is so awkward tho?? Just the way hes stood pressed against it is fucking weird. Also 1000% Sam couldve gotten help and he wouldve been FINE. It took so long for them to talk, an ambulance couldve been there before they were done, there was no need for this
Okay the speech did make me cry once I pep talked myself into being invested. The reference to being scared Sam would reject him, the I love you so much, Sam saying dont leave me, the stay with me and tell me its okay - all those moments got me and I did cry. I appreciated the family business line. I liked Jensen telling Jared he always keeps fighting, that was a nice reference.
BUT there were also those moments that made me scoff, roll my eyes or laugh. The whole “always you and me” bullshit especially. The second I knew he was going to say I’ll be in your heart I yelled at them to no do it, I hate that cheesey move, then literally was like “oh my god, he did it”. It WAS NOT always going to end like this - so much of the last 15 years was proving him wrong about that. This is all just so wrong, it is not good.
Jensen and Jared did a good job with what they were given in this scene but my god
The audacity of the Cas erasure- always you and me. FUCK YOU.
I laughed out loud when his last shot was a One Perfect Tear. I was literally like “Oh wow they did that”
DEAN DESERVED A BETTER DEATH
It also kinda loses all impact when you see him like 2 mins later
MIRACLE IS THE REAL MVP ILY
Theyre really doing another montage. Really. Like we get it, hes sad, we didnt need the toast to understand that
Omg Miracle by his side. The best of bois.
Looking around his room like beer and guns was all dean was. Sure. Aces.
I choose to believe Bon Jovi was a ref to before Dean went to hell
If Donna is back why isnt anyone else?!?
Oh Jared you look so old bby. Go home. He looks older there then later in the ridiculous make up
Why is that shot made to look like hes leaving the bunker forever?? Like that makes no sense
Bobby greeting him is nice and all BUT IT SHOULDVE BEEN CAS
Also they are 1000% doing the show don’t tell by having Bobby just sit and explain everything. SO FUCKING LAZY
Cas has been out of the empty, helping rebuild heaven. Okay, fine. Even Dean’s reaction to hearing that was fine. BUT YOU ASK WHERE YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND IS AND GO SEE HIM. WHO IS THIS VERSION OF DEAN WTF
I know people are upset Cas is back working in heaven but I dont think its anything like before. It sounds like he helped fixed things then got his own heaven. Also he’s God’s Dad, hes not serving God, hes teaching him. I know human Cas done right is what we wanted but I dont hate this for him. BUT WE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING SEEN IT.
Why is a memory of being a kid with his Dad what Dean is reminiscing on. They have literally reverted him back to s1. There are so many memories dean should be thinking about in fucking heaven
Hes going for a drive
Hes going for a motherfucking drive
In the car he was just in
WHY THE FUCK IS HE ACTING LIKE HE HASNT SEEN BABY IN YEARS WHAT IS THIS SHIT
Hes going to drive around doing nothing until Sam gets there are you fucking kidding me. Not going to see any of his family from the last 15 years, just driving. Absolute horseshit.
This is the moment where you realise that this episode has changed NOTHING. This is the same ending as the last ep except theyre in heaven not on earth
ITS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING
Okay so they skip over how Sam went from going on a hunt to walking with a toddler. OMG how unsubtle that they have literally just labelled the child Dean in big yellow letters. I couldnt help but laugh, how fucking stupid.
I did get a bit teary when the music started I’ll be honest. But mostly through the whole montage (ANOTHER ONE) I was saying to myself This is so fucking stupid. omg this is dumb, what the fuck is this, so stupid.
They literally did a montage so long they had to play the song twice. Im just done at this point wow.
The old man make up is so bad I just laughed. The only pictures being of the 4 of them, reinforcing the Winchester only bullshit, great. Not even pics of this new random family Sam’s got. The painfully cliche Dad moments for Sam, again so bad its funny. Omg the hand on the head of this random kid, this is so ridiculous. Old man sam in his bad wig trying so hard to move like hes old and crying in the impala. Wtf is happening, this is SO STUPID
I thought theyd cast a more attractive son I’ll be honest. So he has the tattoo - are they a hunting family? Because that would go against both s1 Sam they’ve tried to go back to and the s15 Sam they build up to for all those years
I know they were going for an emotional parallel with that “you can go now” but this random man saying it to Sam in that make up, with the music cue lined up right there - its just funny coz its so dumb im sorry
I cant believe they actually played another different version, I’ll never get over that
Theres alot of things I’ll never get over
Is this bridge supposed to mean something? They shouldve picked a setting that meant something
I know theyre trying so hard to make Dean look happy and peaceful to convince us its a good ending but sis no
I laughed out loud when Dean turned around - WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT SAM?
Really, they have nothing to say? No questions, no convo? They just have cheesey smiles and look over the water? This is so wrapped up in a fucking bow trying to force us to feel good my god
The cut almost immediately to them talking to the camera, still in character getup, was so cringe I yelled and turned it off
And they pan out to literally none of the people we want to see . Great, Good.
LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
once again persephone not getting back together with hades makes mush more narrative sense when you consider:
she says in her farewell letter that “life here has become unbearable”
hades has emotionally abused zagreus his entire life
hades intentionally hid the the fact that zagreus was alive from her
makes zagreus fight him to the death to even see her for a few minutes
and also i feel like when you adapt myths and legends you need to try to understand at least a little where that story comes from and why. the story of persephone being taken against her will and her mother’s grief didn’t just pop into myth out of thin air. i dont think it’s necessarily more ~feminist~ to just ignore that women in myths are women in history who’s lives inspired myths, and just be like “well rape is bad so that’s not in our story, that’s agency right?” like, no... not really
i think itd be a much more interesting story for persephone if her arc was about her not being able to chose or make her own decisions. she didnt get to chose her own name with her mother or whether or not she could leave olympus, she didnt get to chose when zeus brought her to the underworld, and she didnt get to chose whether or not she’d get to raise her son. i think having her grapple with how much of her life had been decided by other people and stand up and say enough is enough would have been a much more fulfilling arc than just "well guess im back together with my husband (who i didnt even miss) and back in the underworld (which i found unbearable and never would never have gone back to if not for my son) now and this is fine because we love each other, i guess”
#im the op#this isnt just because of my nyxsephone agenda either im just. augh.#more hades brain worms
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
Ok hmmmm fake dating art school au with Malec, Claia, Lukemaryse and (platonic, obviously) garrowbane where hmmm magnus is with an ex at the start and tries setting up Luke with people
well this got really cracky really fast
okay so im gonna go ahead and say that i have no idea how art school works in the US so for the sake of My Convenience™ imma go with the way it is in Brazil, which is "there are numerous kinds of arts going on in the same institute/college"
so im thinking..... clary obviously is doing visual arts, painting, whatever its called (this is probably where i should warn you that i know nothing about visual arts). maia is not really an arts major, but she's doing a course on technical/scientific drawing since shes a biology major and that's useful for her field studies. magnus is on the same course, except hes like an engineering major really. im a slut for inventor Magnus so yeah he wants to be an engineer to develop new kinds of technology so technical drawing is important for him. meliorn (watch me slip meliorn in literally everything i can) is a theatre major, and Luke and Maryse r both studying music
Luke and Maryse r older and like idk how common that is in the US but here in Brazil some ppl (spec retired ppl) come back to college to study something they have Always Wanted To but that wouldnt bring them money. i know that the whole "no free college" thing makes that harder but they can be post-graduates i guess. or Luke is and maryse is a regular major but shes a super rich hotshot lawyer who after the divorce decided to be less stuck up and dedicate herself to things she enjoys, and since shes rich, she has the money to do a major or a music course just for fun
anyway! Magnus is the kind of guy whos friends with everyone from all ages and courses. he quickly becomes friends with maia (shes on his course after all) and meliorn (who is a theatre major but takes classes in everything they can because.... they can)
i just realized maia/meliorn has a LOT of brotp potential but ok anyway
magnus and maia bond greatly over their shared interests (yeah shes a biologist and hes an engineer but magnus' interests vary a lot and also hes a fan of biochemistry. they also have relatively similar life stories and a similar sense of humor, even if maia is sharper at the edges - which is something Magnus likes, really. she's fierce and fun and unafraid and he wishes he were more like her sometimes. they have a mutual admiration and kind of protection pact). meliorn on the other hand is kind of the local queer cryptid in a way, which of course means magnus immediately befriends him, and Maia is just delighted at how much of a trickster they are. magnus also likes meliorn a lot because they're so... chill and easy and unbothered by social conventions to the point of being nearly unaware, which makes Magnus feel so comfortable. and meliorn thinks Magnus is interesting, and they all get along.
maia kind of brings luke into the group. luke is kind of maia's adoptive uncle. she lives alone but once she ran away from home luke was super nice and helpful and also one of the ppl who most encouraged her to go after her major like she wanted
luke and maia are clearly close and have each other's backs, but they also tease each other a lot. so when one day luke teases maia over her crush on clary, she retaliates by looking DIRECTLY at meliorn and being like "he's just jealous. did you ppl know he hasnt been on a single date in years" and meliorn, who thrives on the chaos, is like "oooh we should set him up" and magnus of course jumps at the opportunity
so the three of them keep trying to set ppl up with luke, and it just ...... never works. like doesnt come even close to working. its kind of a disaster actually. its awkward, it never clicks, and at this point luke is begging them to stop but you know thats not gonna happen. so as a last resort, luke lies that he's dating a woman from class. cue him asking maryse, whom hes never talked to in his life but is the only eligible woman his age at class, to like, please do him a solid. and maryse is just so shocked by this random (but handsome) man's life, shes like. lmao sure. look shes a post-divorce woman she wants to be free and cease giving fucks
and maryse kind of has fun pretending to date luke, but she's a busy woman and she doesnt hang out with them often, and they are like [BANGING POTS AND PANS] WE WANT TO ACTUALLY MEET HER
and luke is all like "well maybe if all of yall singles got dates we could have a date together otherwise get out" so maia asks clary out purely out of spite and turns out it works, but Magnus and Meliorn are like "uuuuhhhhh,,,,,,," so meliorn is like "what if we pretend to be together lmao" and Magnus is like shit we're gonna do that aren't we
i know its not exactly Magnus having an ex but look im struggling to put all of this together okay udhdhdbd also im not big on the whole "breaking up because of someone else" trope ya feel
god this is just the setup for malec to meet, im,,,, a mess
so anyway Magnus and Meliorn are determined to totally sell this to luke (maia knows its a scam of course, she can smell bullshit from miles away). and luke and maryse are also totally determined to sell this cuz everyone is an idiot. so they keep having, like,,,,, dates together, until eventually they kind of become a solid group of friends. they all welcome maryse and are really impressed by how critical she is of her pre-divorce self and how it did wonders for her, they think shes really strong. she even shares about how she struggled with her son being gay and her daughter deciding to become a forensic pathologist instead of a lawyer like her, you know. in short they all become good friends
so now everyone (but maia and clary who are happy and drama free and laughing their butts off at Magnus and Meliorn) is in a difficult situation because now theyre all friends! what are they gonna do, confess it was a scam all along? pretend to break up and make the whole thing awkward? they're trapped in their fake dating and it looks like they're just gonna have to, like ... deal with it
and in luke and maryse's situation it's even more complicated because they are kind of getting into each other, and theyre like groaning because theyre grown ass adults they shouldn't be living this trope. and yet
anyway as they become closer they start going to maryse's (shes the only one with a large enough place) and that's when Magnus meets Alec and meliorn meets izzy
which,,,,, despair
because they had been doing a great job of fake dating so far, excuse you, they are partners in crime. they're a well oiled lying machine and they work together flawlessly. magnus is not even a good liar but shit if meliorn didnt teach him every trick on how to not technically lie, and also they are very close and the kind of ppl who are comfortable with sharing affection, so yeah they drape their arms on each others shoulders and hold hands and kiss each others cheeks NO PROBLEM but now theyre both interested in someone else
hell, theyre both interested in maryse's kids
fuck
shit
goddamn
meliorn is all like "i told you we should have pretended to have an open relationship" and Magnus is like luke KNOWS im monogamous he would KNOW we're lying and meliorn is like FUCK and maia and clary are losing their shits
meanwhile luke and maryse are becoming more and more domestic and oblivious to the world. they will b like "you kids put the movie on, we'll make dinner" and be all like fluffy asshole
izzy quickly picks up that its a scheme cuz shes smart, and flirts with meliorn when maryse isnt around, while Alec is like SHIT dude i cant believe ur into a TAKEN MAN what the fuck kind of sad gay stereotype r u
but their pull is like,,, stronk and they frequently find themselves getting lost in their own little world and lowkey flirting and just being a liiiiil too close (especially in alecs case since hes like ..... stoic extraordinaire) and then theyre like AH SHIT WAIT and they jump and pretend nothings happening
and look, izzy would tell Alec about the scam, but she's, como se dice...... having way too much fun at his expense. she and meliorn start dating on like day 1 and make a pact to see how long they can keep the act up and enjoy the show
maia and clary have eaten their combined weight in popcorn by this point
the intrigue. the chaos. the misunderstandings
it gets more and more ridiculous as time goes by but Magnus is still determined to yknow keep the act up and not expose his and meliorn's lies
they just,,,,,,, live like this
it lasts for so long
like ..... months of ridiculousness
and alec is suffering because hes into a taken man whos obviously very in love with his partner and he feels guilty and all of that shit
and magnus just.... doesnt know what to do with his predicament. look he has anxiety this was a bad idea how is he gonna walk up to Alec and b like "hey so I'm not really dating meliorn it was all a scam so we could spy on luke and ur mom but it went too far" and the more time passes the more awkward it gets
the dam probably breaks when magnus finds meliorn and izzy on a date on accident, and hes like rjrhrjrjdnc SO THEY KNOW???? and meliorn is like nah only izzy knows we wanted to see how long itd take for u and alec to get ur shit together. and magnus is like oh my god and meliorn is like "in my defense i didnt think it would take literal months!!!!!! and then it started to feel awkward to just tell you to go for it"
so magnus is like FINE i guess i will TELL ALEC and ask him if he wants to DATE ME IN SECRET so we can keep NOT HAVING TO CONFESS WE LIED TO HIS MOM
and then i guess he tells Alec???? and he still isnt sure whether or not Alec likes him so he isnt planning to ask him out immediately afterwards, just, you know, let him in on the secret, and Alec is like "dude my mom is lying too" and Magnus is like what she and luke are like married
anyway knowing about that gives them full permission to come out as lying bitches so they're like "how dare you lie to us like this.. but also we did the same thing"
eventually luke actually asks maryse out
i dont even know whats happening anymore god im done
this is your fault anon
if anyone wants to actually write this, feel free rjrhdjdn honestly id read it
#god i just....... went bonkers with this#ask#anonymous#sh#shadlwhunters#sh crack#crack#malec crack#magnus bane#alec lightwood#malec#luke garroway#maryse lightwood#lukemaryse#maia roberts#clary fray#claia#meliorn#izzy lightwood#isabeliorn#god im out of control#fic idea
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
how i, kiara heather-holloway, would plan and write the upcoming live action dylan dog tv show (thats being produced by james wan rn):
OKOK first off. my god. this has to be as comic accurate as it can be. this has to be better than the fucking movie or ill literally d*e oh my god. the movie was so bad and was only dylan dog in name and outfit.
he needs the clarinet. and not for one scene. gotta have that shitty car, hes gotta be broke, hes gotta live on that craven st, hes gotta have the fucked up doorbell nd hes gotta have that p*lice officer backstory (though i dont want them to go too full into the backstories of the main characters cuz that takes away from the main story of the episode, and is really just unneeded)
this shit will be set in london. but as for the time im kinda on a fence? its always had a timeless sorta feeling, esp as of late with the comics only now starting to establish itself in the 21st century, but i would really like for it to be set in the 80s cuz a lot of the classic comic stories r from the 80s and it would fit in with how old timey he is with his car and movie references
i hope they have the budget to actually get the rights to use groucho marx’ likeness cuz like... the biggest thing the movie was missing was groucho nd even though there was a little easter egg in the beginning of the movie with them dressed like him... it wasnt enough bro, it’s not the same without him :(
if they cant get the rights then i hope they go the felix route, by making him act like groucho and shit but hes not like.. actually groucho i guess
i dont know where this show’ll get distributed, but im hoping netflix, since a 10 episode format (which is what it was confirmed to be) would be perfect on there with all their other shows with short seasons.
im biased bc i love monster-of-the-week type shows but i think it would be perfect, since the comics are exactly that, where the story is self contained within its episode. i guess they could have some small overarcing story (maybe abt morgana and her tie to dylan?) over the season but idk how something like that could also fit in with the amount of story needed for the monsters and shit
id think itd be perfect if they adapted the first comic “dawn of the living dead” for the first episode of the series, since that comic is the introductory comic for dylan and groucho and how his shit works yknow? the audience could be like following sybil for that first episode as shes asking for their services and is just seeing their BullShit at close hand
idk about the rest of the series, but id love if they adapted the anna never story for an episode tbh
the tone id like for the show would be gothic, with european style of horror, but still crackheaded and bullshittery with grouchos and dylans antics and jokes. i hated what they did in the movie, making it a generic american action horror movie with the club scene of vampires vs werewolves. im so tired of vampires vs werewolves. let this represent european horror and bring that style into american culture Blease
idk who id cast for dylan. someone lanky, british accent definitely, early 20′s/25 maybe. i like brandon routh but hes too old for the part now u_u and honestly, though he kinda looked like dylan in face, he didn’t fit into dylans lanky profile at all. i hope maybe he’ll get a small cameo in the show tho😭 he got did so dirty by that shitty movie
the cast would be revolving, with only dylan and groucho and maybe bloch (if hes in the episode) being the main characters. the romantic interests and side characters for the specific story would last for the episode like in the comics.
this is just for me but id love for there to be a throwaway line about dylan and groucho being married at one point, to reference their marriage in the recent comics
also make the show rated r. i think the titties are the most important part of the comics
while id like for it to be set in london, id also like for it to travel to other places in europe, and take it to interesting scenery nd shit like they always do in the comics. idk how id feel about that one werewolf school story thats set in germany being adapted, but id like to see that german forest scenery lol
there needs to be a few groucho, la pistola! moments where groucho tosses him the pistol ok............also there needs to be the classic pistol
oh and dylan has to say dancing judas at least like 4 times ok .. god
umm for the effects of the monsters, i think itd be best if it was practical, rather than cgi. ive seen netflix’s cgi monsters nd while they work...... the practical effects i think would fit really well in the timeless/80s tone by being like various 80 horror flicks with their practical fx. since the comics were inspired by those classic horror films, like night of the living dead and shit
instead of making dylans personality be the cocky action hero that the movie made him out to be, i... would like for him to still be that jokey loner romantic that he is in the comics, getting himself into trouble cuz he accidentally slept with the monster or the killer or whateva.
like he’s smart with paranormal shit but he only has 1 braincell and neither him or groucho have it most of the time
oh my god i just realized i hadnt even thought of xabaras ok fuck uhhh OK maybe he is part of the overarcing story. maybe yes he gets introduced in the first episode like hes first introduced the in the first comic. but maybe in the end, with the finale he comes back again, after you thought he was dead but noo ho ho hes alliivee and hes always gonna fuck with you dylan you cant get rid of him. whatever fight happens in the finale, it ends in a sort of draw where maybe dylan thinks he defeated him for good, only for the final scene to be xabaras just chilling, clearly not dead, maybe watching over dylan
(if there was to be a season 2, id like for them to do the “i am your father” reveal then, instead of doing all of that in the first season)
(id actually really like for dylans backstory with the time traveling shit and morgana in the second season to be honest now that i think about it)
the first season can be about the monsters of the week and the second possible season could actually focus more on his character story and how he even got into this shit lol
this show really has the potential to be a really great show that breaks out of the usual horror genre and im going to be SO disappointed when it inevitably becomes like riverdale or sabrina the teenage witch’s unnecessary edgy teen adaptions OR just becomes the generic horror franchise shit that james wan usually fucking does with saw and insidious.
im really fucking praying that he actually pays attention to the source material and accurately brings the more gothic and european style of horror forward with it, introducing it to a larger american audience... blease for my sake .. i cant do dylan dog: dead of night (2010) again...
#cela talks#dylan dog#i made this for me but yall can read it too i guess#sorry if the readmore doesnt work on mobile im so fucking sorry#me saying all this as if it has a big budget.. u_u i know the shows gonna be cheap bro#but its still nice to think about :-)
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay so im feeling crazy and detached again (as usual lately)
but instead of spiraling into absolute fucking panic, I’m deciding to take today to just ... not wholly subscribe to this manner of thinking BUT. JUST FOR NOW. I feel like taking some of the craziness flack off myself and blaming it on some shit outside of myself. Because feeling this weird and detached cant all just be me. So here’s a brainstorming of whats got me fucked up, in no particular order:
Trump is our stupid President
That guy who told me he loved me daily and asked me to be his girlfriend after basically living with me immediately after meeting me and I fell for hard despite a ton of red flags CHEATED on me while I was away visiting home.
And then blamed it on MY bad communication? fuck that guy.
But now I see one of the girls he slept with (multiple times, three days in a row) I see her everywhere all the time in everyones instagrams, at everyones parties... ugh.
Um. People are dying. Close to me. More importantly and spefcifically women I love are dead.
I didnt get to see Inga before she died. I was too busy forging a relationship with CHEATER GUY. Didnt get home in time to see her. Talk to her.
Grandma. This has been the whole first year without her, come November. Its subtle, but terrible and I hate it. She was my last matriarch. The last woman who’s blood is in me.
because Mom’s dead too. And has been since August of 2015. 2015, right? God it feels like forever ago now, probably because I’ve pushed it away. She died unexpectedly and NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS SAID THE WORD SUICIDE OUT LOUD even though thats what happened. She OD’d on prescribed opiate painkillers to escape her depression. And we NEVER talk about it.
So I kindof feel insane. Not talking about things that are clearly there. Like, are they not clearly there for anybody else? Now all my women are gone. My brother literally avoids talking about feelings. My dad is a little more receptive but is more the comforting type than the forthcoming, express onesself type. Getting sentimentality out of my brother is like pulling teeth sometimes. But yet if his son does something cute, its God’s Work and he cant help but cry and get that beautiful lovie squishy look on his face.
I’m jealous of my own nephew. I see the way my Mom loved me, in the way my Brother loves his son. And I miss being that perfect to somebody. My Dad loves me forever and always and there isnt a word for how grateful I feel for our relationship. I dont take that for granted at all. It actually kindof scares me because... hah, well what if Dad dies? Like, before I’m ready? I’ll be even MORE fucked!
Anyways. Austins been pissing me off. I’m sorry but although Polyamory is possible and cool and im sure quite beautiful for many,
The Austin poly scene is fucked and tainted and a bunch of slutty people having orgies and not TALKING about anything and its ruining the healthy vibe poly is incumbent upon.
So, whatever I’m angry. So fuck that noise.
I feel like because of cheater guy and my anger at the psuedo poly orgy sexy bullshit scene in Austin, I feel like I’ve broken up with a whole group of friends. Like, I dont want to be around any of it. I dont want to see you eat mushrooms and twerk. I dont want to see your stupid, super naked outfit. I dont think its hot you carry a flogger or can pole dance or slink around like a tarantino character. It used to be hot and thrilling and fun, when I felt like it was connected and for love and sharing and caring. But now it all just is slutty and vapid and useless and cold. Like a sad clown. And thats not sexy, its dark and desperate. *this is about both VERY particular people and broad general strokes. There are several extremely amazing friends in the scene and outskirts thereof that truly inspire me and dont fall into this catagory in my mind, although they’d probably still be angry with me for dissing things ^^ the way I just did but. fuck it, this is MY journal entry and I can be irrational if I want to.
You cant be open fucking minded ALL the time. Sometimes people really arent acting with anyones best intentions but their own. I’ve used up SO MUCH FUCKING ENERGY making myself soften and open and “woke” and trying to go with everybodys flow. And I’m exhausted and over it. I have my own principles and theres nothing wrong with having differing opinions than someone else.
All summer I’ve been feeling like I’m a bad person for not liking or not understanding this hyper sexual scene in Austin. I thought, “why am I shaming a scene thats giving me opportunity to really shine and be free?” when, in an IDEAL world, yes thats what the scene could be. But in what actually fucking unfolds -- humans SUCK and dudes SUCK and girls SUCK and everybody (especially when horny) are fucking STUUUUPIIIIIDDDD and ideals get thrown out the window! people arent nearly as “woke” as I gave them the actual credit for. Seriously. So! I’m fuckin OUTTIE!
I’ve felt broken up with a whole scene. FUck cheater guy, fuck poly, fuck orgies, fuck people who are reckless with my love.
Back to the list:
I’ve been eating too much out of boredom. Which I’ll blame on lack of quality social interaction in this town. Where are the scholars? Where are the sexy edgy BRAINY people? I’m tired of hot people in little clothing in the summer.
Ah! Another thing for the list. its been TOO FUCKING HOT OUT. FOR MONTHS. 100 DEGREES FOR MONTHS. thats enough to make anyone insane.
So i’m sick of teenie boppers in their nothing outfits in the heat.
I want old smart people in peacoats. I miss books and weather and frowns. Irritable debates about literature or physics or religious theories.
I only like my own brand of cigarettes.
My roommates are annoying me. I dont really like my house anymore. Theres too many humans and not enough square footage. Four people to one kitchen is TOO MUCH SHIT. EVERYONE BUYS THEIR OWN BANANAS AND THEY ALLLLLL GO BROWN ON THE TABLE. thats four peoples worth of bad bananas. FUcking stupid.
I dont have a hairdresser here. Sometimes when I feel shitty I like to throw money at the problem. Buy something. Get a haircut. See a show. Etc.
And my hairdresser love is in Philadelphia and getting a flight to get a haircut is slightly insane (without a longer visit)
I miss Adam.
What else can I blame my upset on. Shitty politics, shitty weather, shitty social sexual scene in my town, I dont like my house, I dont like my hair. Its too expensive to live here. No one in my immediate acquaintance or friend circle seems interested in the sort of romantic relationship I’m seeking, nor if they did does anyone have the “it” factor I look for which I’ll *try* to describe maybe in another post.
So. I sit inside my room and try to fix stupid remedial things as if itd make a big impact. I tidy and put away clothes in attempt to feel less cluttered but am too scared to make BIG cuts and BIG changes. So instead I light insence and watch netflix and eat too much. I have started going to Barre3 again more and have been semi regular with therapy so thats something.
I really ought to start doing “morning pages” like the book Fiona loaned me suggests in its FIRST GODDAMN CHAPTER. But, alas, I am lazy.
No, I have become recently lazy.
I’m spoiled. I dont do things I dont want to do. Its a major character flaw. I only push and struggle if I see worthyness in it, and lately theres been serious lack of evidence of that in, well, anything.
#depression!
so, I guess in summation- because nothing has been a WORTHWHILE struggle, EVERYTHING feels like a struggle. Humph. thats... thats not good. But it does, because i dont see the worth in a lot of goals or tasks or even relationships, (and i dont mean the greedy “what can I GET for ME out of this!” sort of b.s.) (I mean the... conserve precious energy, is this going to teach me something or help me grow as a person or bring love into my life sort of vibe) ...
when I dont think the energy expenditure is going to pay off, I dont do it. Or I do it half way or lazily or with tentative fear. I guess I could do an experiment and just do everything with HOPE and see if my energy put in will get a different result... but. like. I feel like I did that all summer and he cheated on me. And my “friends” said “dont be angry, be poly” and I couldnt call on my Mom or Grandma and so I call on eating and isolation and running away to visit home where no one cares I dont have a job. where the house is big and the air is cold and my friends are smart.
I really miss Kristian. That was one of the greatest feelings of self love in my entire life. I felt like, if someone that special noticed ME. Saw ME. Little old, semi chubby, not famous ME, and wanted me around for a couple tour dates. Then I ought to believe in myself TOO. I wanted to dance, I wanted to make art, I wanted to take photos, I wanted to be bold, I wanted to be humble, I felt so open and content with myself. I was motivated to work out, I was motivated to eat healthy and clean and small portions. It was easy. It felt so fun. I loved him. I dreamt big. My imagination was so warm and excited. My inner critic was GONE.
But he faded away. He got back with his ex. The shooting star left the sky. I’m still grateful for the experience at all, but.
I feel a little stupid for thinking anything could’ve happened.
And I truly miss feeling so special and excited about life.
I dont want to run away from Austin out of fear. But I cant tell if I’m unhappy and want to leave genuinely, or if this is the spoiled part of me thats like, “this sucks, lets leave.” instead of pushing though, curating something better with some struggle, and sticking it out.
How do people make big life decisions like this? I feel like thats what marriages do. People stay together and fight. But sometimes they get divorced anyways, its just been longer. More years wasted. When maybe it wouldve been healthier to leave sooner and cut the cord and be free to live without, sooner.
I really like a lot of things about this city. But I really dislike a lot too. And I cant tell where I want my life to go, in a grand sense, so its hard to pick which attributes will matter in the long run.
I dont think I should leave yet. Maybe a new house. Or like, serious efforts to declutter this one. Is this just excuses? Ugh.
Declutter this house. If that doesnt feel better, leave the house and move to a new part of austin. If that doesnt feel better, leave austin.
I need a job.
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Other than an Olicity baby and Maya being their daughter in FF, what would you like to see for Olicity in 7b and for them individually? Fingers crossed for a baby and Smoak Tech! It would be great to see Oliver being more honest and open with Felicity, including the deal with the Monitor, but you sound skeptical on that point. Do you think the "what is love without respect and trust?" discussion in the xo was to excuse this behavior or set it up for a change in the future? Tx!
It’s a good question Nonnie, but I have to be honest - I don’t really watch Arrow with a lot of expectations or a laundry list of things I want to see. Honestly, I feel like that’s setting myself up for disappointment if the list doesn’t get checked off ya know? I like to cook up theories about what’s going to happen based of what Arrow has shown us, but I don’t really come up many storylines on my own. I genuinely enjoy just receiving the Arrow writers’ vision and responding to it that way. It’s more of a passive approach I guess.
Sure! I would love a baby and I’ll be thrilled if we get one, but if we don’t that’s okay. William has really fulfilled the child storyline for me in a lot of ways, so I’m already pretty happy.
As far as Smoak Tech, my investment in that particular storyline has waned over the years. I know this probably makes me a traitor to my people, but I’d rather just see it up and running. I think the writers explored the creation of it a little bit in Season 5, but it felt kind of stagnant once they came up with a name and something to sell. I’m not really interested in seeing Felicity pitch to investors. I also don’t like that they involved Curtis so it’d be nice to see him disentangled.
Honestly, the Smoak Tech appearance in the flash forward made me really happy. I know Felicity creates her empire, it’s HER empire, and that’s mostly what I wanted. Hopefully, we get to see that empire flourish but at the end of the day the real meat and potatoes of this show is Team Arrow. I’m always more invested in Felicity being a focus there because it will always be the A storyline. If they can build Smoak Tech and fold it into Team Arrow similar to how Queen Consolidated and Palmer Tech were in Season 1-3, I’ll be thrilled. But again, if it doesn’t happen I doubt I’ll be changing the channel.
Am I expecting Oliver to tell Felicity about the deal he made with the Monitor right away? Eh. Not really. Every time I think Oliver is going be honest with Felicity he isn’t, so I’m going at this another way. Reverse psychology time!
I don’t think the “What’s love without respect and trust?” line was intended to excuse any behavior or future lies, but on the flip side I have to be realistic about the world Oliver and Felicity live in. Being a hero requires sacrifice and that’s who Oliver Queen is. This means Oliver will constantly be sacrificing his happy life with Felicity. This is the life they both chose, which is exactly what Felicity explained to William in 6x11.
There is no world where Felicity would be okay with Oliver going to jail for life. There is no world where Felicity would sign off on Oliver giving up his life for Barry and Kara (if that’s what he agreed to do). Ultimately, I think the realization Oliver and Felicity came to at the end of this prison arc was they will make sacrifices because they are heroes, but they won’t judge each other for it. Nor will they judge the choices they each make as a result of those sacrifices.
Let me put it another way - Oliver is going to do what he has to do and Felicity is going to do what she has to do. That’s what they signed up for. They will never belong only to each other as long as they are fighting for Star City and the world. There will always be some crisis that comes before their marriage and happiness. I think Oliver and Felicity have decided instead of arguing and resenting each other for the sacrifices they make they will simply love each other unconditionally through it.
I don’t blame Oliver for not picking up the cell phone and calling the wife while he negotiated in space with an all powerful Whathaveyou to make sure she was cool with him trading his life for the lives of Barry, Kara and the entire world. Sometimes Oliver just has to make the call and this was one of those times. What’s done is done. It wasn’t about disrespecting Felicity or not trusting her. It was about making a choice no regular person would make. That’s why Oliver is a hero. And nobody knows that better than his wife.
That’s not a free pass for Oliver to lie or make decisions without Felicity. I think he should tell her about the deal he made with the Monitor, I’m just not expecting it on my time table, but rather Oliver’s. If he tells her later rather than sooner I’ll disagree with his choice. But I’ll just add it to the laundry list of decisions Oliver has made over the course of this show that I’ve disagreed with.
Is it a lack of character growth? Is Oliver constantly making the same mistakes over and over again? Sure. That’s absolutely a fair lens to view it through. But we are moving along a spectrum here. Oliver’s lies are for increasingly selfless reasons, so that’s some progress I guess.
“Selfless reasons? Are you nuts Jen?” Probably, but a real big piece of this for me is intent. Oliver’s intent is always intensely and innately good. It’s very hard for me to stay angry with the guy who is willing to sacrifice his freedom to secure his teammates’ and wife’s freedom. It’s very hard for me not to forgive Oliver for hesitating to tell his wife he offered his life in exchange for Barry and Kara’s (if that’s what he did) because he offered his life in exchange! Here’s the kicker - when Oliver is making these types of decisions he’s doing all the things that made Felicity fall in love with him in the first place.
There is an exceptionally great scene in Grey’s Anatomy that explains what I’m talking about. Meredith has done something awful, but her intent was good. Still the consequences of her decision are pretty disastrous for Derek. I really encourage you to watch the scene because it drills to the marrow of what it means to be married. But my favorite exchange is always this:
Derek: I know you took her to protect her. I know you altered the trial for Adele and for Richard. You stood in front of a bullet for me. I know why you do all of it. It’s what I love about you.
Meredith: And what you hate about me.
Derek: Yeah.
Felicity has made many similar speeches about Oliver.
Oliver and Felicity loving each other even when they hate each other is the reality of the commitment they’ve made. The things we love most in our partners can also become the things we hate most. But marriage is also a lot about acceptance. Oliver and Felicity bring out the best in each other, they challenge each other to be better, but they also accept one another. There are simply aspects of Oliver Queen that are never going to change. He will always be the put-it-all-on-the-line-fall-on-the-sword-sacrifice-everything-for-everyone guy. And as maddening as this may be, Oliver is not always going to ask Felicity’s permission before he does it. But the flip is- Felicity is the same kind of hero. If she was put in the same position as Oliver she would make the same choice. And she has.
That’s one of the reasons I’ve sort of stopped applying real world expectations on Olicity’s marriage. I certainly expect my husband to discuss life altering decisions with me, but he’s also not responsible for saving the world. In many ways Olicity is just a regular couple living in an insane world. But they are also an extraordinary couple living in an insane world. That requires a different set of expectations, which I believe is the realization they both came to.
So, Oliver gets to sacrifice himself for the world and Felicity accepts it. But Oliver doesn’t get to put on his judgey pants over the person Felicity becomes while she’s dealing with the ramifications of all Oliver’s sacrifices. This is an unusual, out of this world, extraordinary compromise, but it is a compromise nonetheless. Can I relate to Oliver and Felicity entirely? No, but then again I’m not a hero.
What do Oliver and Felicity get from their extraordinary sacrifices? An extraordinary love.
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok here’s this. pokemon au ramble. because this week has just been me loving my ocs but bass boosted. under the cut!! this post will be REALLY long mainly because of the teams sorry!
pokemon au is pure bc no deaths or rlly bad things happen
buggy is a trainer who went on the pokemon journey for fun and as a coming-of-age kinda thing(also because he may or may not have burnt his house down with a litwick), but kinda stopped getting gym badges half way and decided to settle down and just take the road casually. he settled down with apoccy and they both run a little pokemon sanctuary and care for pokemon that aren’t able to go back to the wild or have some little quirk (for example a litwick that cant keep itself lit easily). he likes battling for fun rather than for glory, and when his rival (farrow, obvs) was like “ha im gonna beat u and become the champion and ur not” he was like “i mean ok have fun!” which makes farrow pissed. he’s a guy who really cares about pokemon’s feelings and basically got back into action from pokemon santuary-ing and fought against the coven (the bad guy team) to stop them from hurting anyone.
team:
- Ari (talonflame) (he flies around on her!)
- Lulu (chandelure) (his absolute baby and child)
- Fluffy (ampharos) (he named it fluffy when it was a mareep but then it evolved a bit and it wasnt fluffy anymore. its name is still fluffy tho)
- Big Boy (pelipper) (he’s a big ocean enthusiast but can’t swim and is a bit afraid of the water, so he uses pelipper to navigate over it and help him fish)
- Ellis (sylveon) (he wanted him to be a flareon but he loved them a lot and he ended up becoming a sylveon but buggy still loves him 100%)
- Musha (musharna) (musha helps him go to sleep easier and stay awake better as well, it’s basically his service pokemon ahghjhdjkf. she’s usually floating by his side!)
i think mendel would be a pokemon professor bc he studies pokemon. how he was even trusted enough to hand out pokemon to small children is a mystery, but gene takes care of most of the friendly stuff with handing u ur pokemon and stuff, mendel just does the research. later on it’s revealed that mendel is part of the region’s bad guy group, the coven! (>:3cc) their goal is to fuse multiple powerful pokemon together into the perfect pokemon that is able to beat everything and everyone else, in a combination of every type in existence. (Idk if this is the plot of any game bc i dont remember the plot of any game past pokemon b/w honestly) eventually the protag gets them to not fucking destroy everything and befriend the big boy pokemon (juggy, but like pokemon) and the coven disbands their group and just live life as normal people not criminals bc pokemon verse is best verse
team: - Juggy (sivally) (idk shit about sivally or the sumo plot but it looks like a fusion pokemon and its cute so like um there we go ig. in the actual au itd probably be a completely new pokemon but im lazy)
- Cofagrigus (obvious reasons. if i didnt want to keep this au pure i wouldve mentioned he still grave digs)
-Mimikyu (shut up its cute)
- Flabebe (flowere) (”oh what a pretty flower, it will be great to work on. oh no its a pokemon. guess its my child now”)
- Arbok (its a snake he loves snakes he gives it little pats on the head and rattatas)
- Claydol (it has a ton of red eyes and its black and red what more do you want from him. also he thinks it is cool and its psychic so like hhuiionnghgh yeah)
gene is a pokemon docdor (he heals those boys up for you and takes care of them) and helps mendel out in research since they both share an interest in researching pokemon!!! he doesn’t know that hes part of the bad guy team that snatches up pokemon and doesn’t question any weird things he decides to research about until like the end. he’s really nice and’ll probably catch up to you along your journey just to see how you’re doing, check up on you, and give you cool stuff like the master ball n stuff. he has a big greenhouse where he grows berries and’ll give you some as gifts along the way. he battles you occasionally to see how strong you’ve gotten and’ll heal your pokemon when your done, giving you tips. he likes hanging out around forests and little garden areas.
team:
- Serperior (long boi. good noodle boi.)
- Comfey (C O M F E Y flowere boi)
- I lost my old gene team im so sad so i dont remember any of it
- Bitty (budew) (BABY BOY BABY! he loves them sm) (it evolves into roserade later on but shhhshhh baby budew)
- Swanna (pretty birb!!) (helps him water the plants in the greenhouse!!)
- Ana (unfezant) (HE NEEDS ANA OK)
- Audino (mega) (he needs that healy pokemon it’s essential) (theyre his little helper)
farrow is the stereotypical rival guy tbh. with buggy he was like “im gonna be better than u” and buggy was like “stop bullying me” but then just “ok” so he got bored. with skuggy it was more competitive, and they even battled each other right at the victory road’s entrance to see who was better, but they never got to complete the elite 4 trial since the coven juggy shit happened and they basically had to team up temporarily to stop these guys. when all of that was done farrow got back to challenging the elite four and trying to become champion, but he’s still struggling and is trying to train his team to become better while skuggy went “eh i’m done that was fun tho” and gave up. farrow hates being seen as weak and wants to have the strongest team, but he still loves his pokemon even if he pushes them near the limit sometimes while all focused up on winning.
team:
- Ally (linoone) (theres no possum pokemon and im mad but he likes ferrets too so) (or uh. long raccoon?) (either way he loves ally and she’s kind of a tank)
- Mittens (incineroar) (this was his starter, somehow, since he took the traditional trainer coming-of-age path and went to become the best.) (he loves his cat even if it did become....bipedal and buff??????) (They share the same big ego and victory flexing) (he rides on mittens’s shoulders sometimes or mittens carries him with arms in the air like a king)
- Rogue (liepard) (cate!!) (also it really fits him!!!) (he loves his thief cat and steals everyone’s items with it and makes them mad) (skuggy has cursed this cat out for stealing all his pokemon’s items at least twice before while both her and farrow looked on grinning smugly)
- Jasper (noivern) (i associate farrow with bats a lot, i think he likes bats now) (big fuckig boy who farrow flies on and farrow really likes battling with) (when farrow is out travelling and is tired and it’s late but he can’t find anywhere to stay, jasper shields him and makes whats basically a mini tent with his wings around him)
- Doggo (houndoom) (Farrow named him doggo as a joke but it stuck) (Fire dog with evil aesthetic! Farrow loves this) (He’s a good dog and farrow pats him for doing good work. he sniffs out berries and items for him on the road and is like his guard dog.)
- Snippy (gliscor) (another bat babey) (i might change it but idk) (it’s a sneakey boy) (he is also a tank and poisons everyone’s pokemon) (farrow accidentally gets stung by him like twice a week)
skuggy is a trainer who set out on the pokemon journey as a means to get out of his shitty house and family, collecting pokemon to help defend himself, but ended up really loving pokemon (especially bug types) and trying to take on a few gyms while he was at it. eventually he met farrow and it became kind of like a little race to see who can get the most gym badges first, giving him a motivation to travel the region and take on the elite 4. after the juggy fiasco he got a bit tired of fighting and decided he valued his pokemon a lot since they defended him and helped him fight back so he said “yknow what im gonna take a break from our race thing, im just gonna find somewhere to finally stay and chil out” while farrow was shaking the elite four’s door like “LET ME IIIIIN”. he’s kinda chill now and is thinking about going back and trying to fight the 4 someday, but for now he’s just a guy who catches bugs. he and gene hang out sometimes and go into forests n stuff. he’s still a butcher in this world ig. mans gotta make some money
team:
- Clove (scolipede) (his first pokemon, he caught it and went with it, but got really attached really fast) (she is his baby and he made it so far with her by his side and is really proud of both clove and himself for getting this far)
- Big Tony (armaldo) (he found a fossil pokemon and kept it since it’s rock type and can help ward off fire types, which is a big weakness of his team, but he ended up loving big tony too. i know theyre supposed to be like 4 foot 9 but please imagine big tony as a BIG boy that skuggy can ride on its shoulders and back to get around.)
- Babie (ribombee) (he caught this thing and said “this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen.” went on to destroy dragon types and be the best bee ever.) (actually it’s pretty weak but skuggy believes in them)
- Toaster (heracross) (heracross was too cute for skuggy NOT to catch. it’s the powerhouse. this boy rips thru pokemon likes it’s nothing. unless it’s a fire or flying type. then it dies.) (it likes to f i t e and shares skuggy’s quick temper, because u know what they say, like pokemon like trainer)
- Big old boy (stoutland) (this was also one of the first pokemon he’s ever caught and it was really strong, defended him well and was kind of like the tank of the team, so he kept it. he likes sleeping on its back, and sometimes it has to remember it isn’t a tiny dog anymore because it tries to jump at skuggy to greet him and he gets fucking smashed.) (hes a very good boy, he’s very fluffy, and skuggy loves him so much and owes him his life)
- Jeff (swadloon) (skuggy loves his emo-looking son.) (ever since he beat depression in the dick he just cant help but see himself in swadloon) (but swadloon is happy, just very comfy and grumpy) (swadloon loves skuggy and skuggy loves swadloon) (i mean just look at him) (it’s perfect for skuggy)
okay i’m done here there’s obviously more people but this post is getting alarmingly long and i still need to make their teams. if u read this entire thing u deserve 20 cat images and more jesus christ u madman !!!!!!
#shut up bug#rambles#LONG post#txt#ocs#buggy#gene#mendel#juggernaut#farrow twells#skuggy#pokemon#happy#i really love pokemon au!!!
6 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
