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#and then i [Moving on d-]] out and now i live with my dumpster boyfriend in a [lovely two story apartments near you!]
Note
How comfortable are you with sharing? Clothes, personal items, spaces like the bathroom etc. with Swatch
[Yknow, Ykn0w, Yknow-] I never really had to [He'll think about it??] Before! [Thats not very p-] comfortable if I'm gonna be honest.
I have no reason to [Thief! Thief!] Their clothes. it's all fancy bullshit and I hated having to wear my suit all the time, why would I [Yoink!] Theirs? Swatch wouldn't take my clothes either, they wouldn't [Fit for a prince!] And I never let them touch my things, definitely not the stuff I [had it since I was a boy-] brought in when they [lost and found] me.
We used to [Kinda sorta somewhat] share a room though! Mine was connected to theirs I mean. They didn't think I should [Sharing is caring!] A room with the other Swatchlings at first. Everyone thought I had a virus? [Lmao] I saw way too many [Doctor! It hurts when I-] when I was [Just a wee lad!]
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megamegaturtle · 3 years
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in the dumpster fire of 2020, i fell in love with dramione
here’s some fic recs in no particular order of favorites (ao3 edition). this is going to be a long ass post, but a link to all my bookmarks on ao3. again, long post.  you’ve been warned: 
remain nameless by @heyjude19-writing - the coffee shop au that’s 300,000 words that’s friends to lovers and becoming better people (complete)
measure of a man - okay so like. i’m going to explain this story terribly. but like. hermione is a healer, she’s also part farmer. she super heals hard to heal patients. and oh boy. there are the malfoys. we have narcissa as herself. scrop as the cutest baby kid alive, and draco as a poltergeist. JUST. THIS STORY. START READING. IT IS SO GOOD. AND DELCIOS AND ALSJDFJLA you will come away feeling super empowered. (WIP)
subtle perfection  - the ice skating/muggle au that’s is asldkfjsaljf really smoking hot but like the ice hurts my feels (wip)
seven year witch by @thelastlynx- draco and hermione keep meeting up in the summers between school years (WIP)
when midnight comes - TIME LOOP AU. head boy and head girl au. (complete)
 O for Outstanding - hogwarts teacher au. also, draco has a thing for shoes *wink* (WIP)
regrets only - MADE OF HONOR AU. draco realizes a little too late he’s in love with hermione. but now he has to stop but support a wedding! (WIP)
never in heart - the one where where hermione and draco are best friends, but stupidly did an unbreakable vow to get married if they’re not married by 30. time is running out to find a spouse, but like, why take the easy route and marry your best friend? (complete)
nine months - hermione and draco have what is supposed to be a one night stand...several times, but oops. someone is pregrant :D (WIP)
love and other misfortune by @senlinyu - a veela!fic. and in the first few fics i read in the fandom. it made me continue reading more dramione. this is sen’s fault (complete)
living the dream - the one where draco is a high class escort looking for his mate. also a veela!fic. i am here for positive sex work (one shot)
the gloriana set - absolute hilarious perfection with the best little hufflepuffs (complete)
armature cartography - the one where draco somehow ends up as hermione’s boyfriend but she’s not sure how dating works (one shot)
thirteenth night - the one where draco is obliviated to pay for his crimes, but hermione is his caseworker (complete)
traditions - the christmas fic that gets my feels (complete)
everything little thing she does (is magic) - the one were draco and hermione go to parties together as a ruse! (complete)
the preferred hour - the one where scorp and rose start dating and draco is this super nice widower and...asdlfjasdljf JUST READ THIS ONE (one shot)
blood rights - creature!fic. also, draco and hermione have to get married (complete)
precious things - *cue ugly sobbing* the journey of draco’s growing love for his family through many years after he accidently knocks up hermione and....it’s a christmas fic. that hurts my heart, but it’s so good. (one shot)
fight this feeling - the best friend au! but like, unrequited feelings. these two silly gooses (complete)
courting customs most sacred by @heyjude19-writing - pansy thinks she’s doing hermione a favor, but like draco gets how purebloods do etiquette (complete) 
as you wish by @scullymurphy - is this a princess bride ref? yes, yes is it. is it about costumes and movies? yes it is. (oneshot)
all you want by @senlinyu - the first A/B/O fic i’ve ever read. it was good. so i read it. i don’t even like this trope! but it’s worth it! :D (complete)
where we go from here - this hurts. so much. ron dies in a horrible accident leaving hermione alone pregnant with their child. draco is the real bro and helps and alsdjfasldjf family. feels. dad feels. i can’t. (complete)
in search of sunrise - a very cute onesot where draco and hermione stay up all night (oneshot)
tough love - hermione has to date a few bad men to get to the right one (complete)
each day anew - the 50 first dates au. hermione needs help relearning who she is every day (complete) 
with teeth - the one where there are many, many horcruxes (oneshot)
wait and hope by @mightbewriting​ - ugly crying. hermione lost her memories and draco is the best husband. just. take all my love. (complete)
broken by @inadaze22​ - hermione is back from italy. there is a secert. it will wreck you. (complete)
waif and strays - the familiar au! draco becomes hermione’s familiar because she’s a little lost and lonely and he’s a little lost and lonely too (complete) 
apple pies and other amends - the baking!au where i want to eat everything. also. it’s very cute. (complete)
off the cuff - the cinderella au! someone forgot their glass slipper, i mean...cuff (complete) 
universal truth by @scullymurphy​ - the modern wizarding P&P au. ugh. so good. (complete) 
an education - the one where hermione is forced to help draco learn about the muggle world a little bit (complete) 
Inosculation - the one where hermione has to marry draco to save her life because of a stupid curse. they are very cute. (complete)
the calm to her storm - ron passes away and rose and hugo befriend scorp and hermione has to befriend draco and it’s great (complete) 
a boy of hans - hanahaki au. sad ending. 
Dancing with Draco - THIS SERIES IS SO GOOD. okay, so like. draco has to help hermione dance for the yule ball. the sequeal is super good too. 
The Oblivious Ones - a fake marriage story. hermione and draco meet in the pysch ward at st. mungo’s and go off to look for her parents
what you think is right - this story is so painful. one of the best 1st POVs i’ve read. it’s hermione pov. her parents are dying and it’s affecting her marriage with draco and god. just read it. (WIP)
Deine Zauber Binden Wieder - the ochrastra au no one asked for, but it’s like. really fun. (oneshot)
the green girl - hermione is sorted in Slytherin when she’s 11. this story. i still think about it to this day. (complete)
a year in the countryside - hermione wants to escape for the craziness of the big city so she moves to the cute country side. to only find draco malfoy living there too. (complete)
don’t take the sinner - THE MARRIAGE LAW FIC WITH A TWIST. hermione has to marry harry and ginny has to marry draco, but like, no one stays with their spouse. no cheating involved. (complete)
Draco's Baking Dilemmas - the great british bake off au. i don’t need to say anything more. hermione is the judge. draco is the baker. yes. and yes. (complete)
starving - sex is like food. or rather. sex is like pizza. it’s good when it’s cold, but like. it’s better when it’s hot :D (oneshot)
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vcidgalpin · 4 years
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Magic Bullet Pt 1
Stiles Stilinski x Reader
Season 1 Masterlist
Word Count: 1856
A/N: I don’t really like this episode tbh. 
Warnings: threats? references to sex.
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  I decide to drive myself to school today, and my first lesson of the day is history. The teacher hands out graded tests, I get mine before the boys. A+ is scribbled at the top of my paper. I smile to myself, kind of surprised that I’ve managed to keep up my grades through everything. Turning to my right, I see that Scott got a D-.
“Dude, you need to study more.” I hear Stiles say from behind him, so I turn around to see his A on his test. Scott sulks down into his chair and puts his head in his hands.
“That was a joke. Dude it’s one test. You need help studying?” He offers and then leans to see what I got, probably to offer the same until he sees that I got higher than him.
“I’m studying with Allison at her house after school,”
“Yes Scotty,”
“That’s my boy,” Me and Stiles speak at the same time, smirking at the other boy.
“We’re just studying,” He insists, seemingly oblivious to what girls usually mean when they invite someone round to ‘study’.
“No, you’re not. Not if I’m forced to live vicariously through you. If you go to her house and squander that colossal opportunity I’ll have you professionally de-balled. Got it?” I scrunch up my face at that graphic depiction and shake my head at Stiles.
“Yes. If you stop with the questions,”
“Has he still been pressuring you to talk about Derek?” Scott nods at this and turns to flip through his paper.
---
  After class, I meet up with the girls. It feels like forever since I’ve seen them.
“I heard you’re ‘studying’ with Scott tonight,” I tease her, nudging her side with my elbow. Lydia gasps at this new found information.
“Yeah, so?”
“Just studying never ends with just studying. It’s like getting into a hot tub, someone eventually cops a feel,” The redhead adds.
“So what are you saying exactly,”
“I’m saying make sure he covers up,” I hide a laugh with my hand, and Allison gives yet another dumbfounded look to the both of us, “Hello, Snow White, I’m talking about a condom,”
“Are you kidding, after one date?!”
“Well don’t be a total prude. You have to give him a little taste,”
“How much is a little taste?”
“Oh God. You really like him, don’t you?”
“Well, there’s just something different about him. When I first got here I had this plan: no boyfriends until college. I move too often. But when I met him, he was different. I can’t explain it.” She rambles on about Scott with the cutest smile across her face. She really does like him.
“I can. It’s your brain flooding with phenylethylamine,” Me and Allison whip our heads around to look at Lydia. How does she even remember that, I don’t think I could pronounce that word if I tried. “I’ll tell you what to do. When’s he coming over?”
“Right after school-” The school bell cuts her off, and we all sigh.
---
  Trying to drive out of the parking lot was becoming impossible. I hadn’t even gotten out of my parking spot when I gave up. I got out of my car to see Stiles’ jeep at the front of the traffic jam that was forming. I jog over and see Derek Hale lying on the floor in front of the jeep. Scott also runs over,
“What are you doing here? Get up,” Stiles jumps out of the driver’s side and leans against the hood, a worried look on his face.
“He doesn’t look so good,”
“He was shot,” I realise. I can smell the wolfsbane in his system, it seems slightly familiar, but not enough to just be typical wolfsbane. He was going to die. 
“Wait, that’s what she meant when she said you had 48 hours,” Scott realises.
“What? Who said 48 hours?” Derek is struggling to speak, he sounds like he is almost choking.
“The one who shot you,” Derek starts to hyperventilate, his eyes flickering from blue to normal.
“Cover his eyes,” I rush over and me and Scott grab Derek, throwing him into the jeep.
“Guess I’m getting a ride with you today,” I speak, slipping into the back seat. Derek leans out the window to talk to Scott.
“I need you to find the same kind of bullet. I have to know what they used. She’s an Argent, she’s with them,”
“Why should I help you?”
“Because you need me.”
---
“Try not to bleed out on my seats, okay? We’re almost there,”
“Almost where?” Derek mumbles out.
“Your house,”
“No. You can’t take me there,”
“I can’t take you to your own house?”
“Not when I can’t protect myself,” Suddenly Stiles slams on the brakes.
“What happens if Scott doesn’t find your magic bullet, huh? Are you dying?” 
“Not yet. I have a last resort,” Derek pulls up his sleeve, exposing his wound. It’s no longer bleeding, but all of his veins near to the hole are black and spreading out like tree roots.
“What is that? Is that contagious,” Stiles starts gagging. “Maybe you should just get out,”
“Start the car. Now.”
“I don’t think you should be giving orders the way you look. In fact, I think if I wanted to, I could probably drag your werewolf ass out to the middle of the road and leave you for dead,” All of a sudden, Derek grabs my arm, launching me forward. Surprisingly, even in his weak state, he is still a lot stronger than me.
“Start the car, or I’m gonna rip her throat out, with my teeth” Stiles scrambles quickly to start the car, and the wolf’s grip loosens.
“So what, are we just going to drive around and go nowhere, because we literally have nowhere to go,” I speak up. Nobody suggests anything, so I let out a big sigh, sinking into my seat.
---
A couple hours of driving and stopping in different places later, Scott finally calls Stiles. I listen in on the conversation,
“What am I supposed to do with him?”
“Take him somewhere, anywhere.”
“We’ve been trying to find places for hours Scott, you think of something!” I yell into the phone.
“By the way, he’s starting to smell… Like death.”
“Take him to the animal clinic. My boss is gone by now, the spare key is in a box behind the dumpster in the back.”
“You’ll never guess where he’s telling me to take you,” Stiles turns to Derek, and he grabs the phone from his hand,
“Did you find it?”
“How the hell am I supposed to find one bullet? They have a million. This house is the freaking Walmart of guns,”
“If you don’t find it, I’m dead,”
“I’m starting to think that wouldn’t be such a bad thing,”
“Then think about this... the Alpha called you out against your will. He’s going to do it again. And next time you either kill with him or you get killed. You need me. Find the bullet,” He hangs up and throws the phone back to Stiles, who nearly drops it as he fumbles around. We head to the animal clinic, Stiles’ phone pings a few moments later. Derek is looking worse and worse by the minute.
“Does northern blue monkshood mean anything to you?” Derek seems too weak to reply, so I talk for him. “It’s a rare kind of Wolfsbane. He has to bring us the bullet.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s gonna die without it,”
---
Scott still isn’t here, and Derek is literally on the brink of death, tying a tourniquet around his arm, just above the wound.
“I don’t know if I can do this,”
“You faint at the sight of blood?”
“No but I might at the sight of a chopped off arm!” Stiles whines, his hands slightly shaking at the idea that he might have to literally saw off somebody’s arm.
“How about this: either you cut off my arm, or I cut off her head?” 
“You know what, I’m really not buying your little threats anymore.” In the blink of an eye, Derek’s hand goes straight to the front of my throat, his claws extended.
“Okay! Bought, sold, I’ll do it. Just- Let her go, okay?” He drops me as he nearly collapses to the floor.
“Stiles, this is clearly an issue for you, I can do it alright?” Derek is hunched over, his hands on his knees as he suddenly hacks out black goo, covering the floor.
“What the hell is that?”
“His body is trying to heal itself.”
“You have to do this, now!” He places his arm down on the examination table, and I grab the bone saw, contorting my face as I place the blade at the highest reaching vein. I take a deep breath or two, getting ready to pull the trigger when-
“What the hell are you doing?!” Scott’s voice is like a blessing at this moment. I drop the bone saw on the table. He holds up the bullet, “Okay, what do I do with this?” Derek takes it and holds it up to the light to get a better look.
“I’m gonna- gonna-” He falls to the floor with a loud thud, the bullet dropping and rolling across the room. Scott goes to stop it, but he’s not fast enough. It slips through a grate in the floor. Scott reaches, trying to fish it out, and I turn to see Derek’s still body. I sit right next to him, trying to slap him awake.
“I got it!” Scott yelps, and I get an idea.
“Please don’t kill me for this,” I swing my arm back and form a fist. As it collides with his face, Derek splutters as he wakes.
“Give it to me,” Scott tosses the bullet to Derek as he struggles to get to his feet. He cracks the tip open and grabs a lighter from his jeans. Lighting the contents causes sparks to fly around, and he scoops the ash into his hand before slapping it into his open wound, grinding it in with his fingers, screaming in pain as he does so. He rolls on the floor for a moment, and we can see the veins become invisible under his skin again, a blue sort of smoke leaving the hole before it completely sealed up.
“That. Was. Awesome!” Stiles cheers and I punch his arm, this is not the time.
“Are you okay?”
“Well, except for the agonising pain,” He groans.
“I’m guessing the ability to use sarcasm is a sign of good health,”
“We saved your life. That means you’re going to leave us alone. You got that? And if you don’t I go back to Allison’s dad and tell him everything-” Scott tries to sound as threatening as he can, but Derek looks completely unphased.
“You’re gonna trust them?”
“Why not? They’re a lot freaking nicer than you are,”
“I can show you exactly how nice they are,”
Derek only takes Scott, leaving me and Stiles to go home, completely out of the loop until Scott texts us.
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jasons-exposedspine · 4 years
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Stronger Then You Know Chapter 3
Summary: Negan comes back to Alexandria with Carl but has someone else on his mind.
Warnings: physical abuse, violence, swearing, angry Negan, caring Negan
Authors note: This chapter may be triggering for some people and if it is i’m sorry i don't tolerate physical or mental abuse in any way shape or form.
Relationship: Negan x Lucille (MY!!! OC)
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Luckily Lucille couldn’t get pregnant because Jake had raped her many times that night leaving multiple bruises on her body. She just lied there and took it, with a tear falling from her eye and she just bit into her lip until it bled. She had had sex many times but the way he did it it hurt so much but he had raped her so often that she just got used to it. It’s what he called her punishment for disobeying him. He always told her that she deserved it and he beat her bloody and raped her until she couldn’t feel her legs. 
That wasn’t love and she knew it, she couldn’t even remember what love felt like anymore and she wasn’t used to compassion or sweetness from a partner. A week later She woke up feeling terribly soar all over Jake had abused her terribly within that week. She sighed as she got out of bed and as usual she was naked and her body was covered in bruises. 
She had a shower and scrubbed her skin so she felt clean but no matter how hard she scrubbed she always felt dirty. In between her legs felt soar and her thighs were badly bruised. She put on a pair of comfortable baggy jeans, an oversized grey shirt and she tied her hair into a bun. She laced up her black combat boots with the red roses on them. She stood up checking herself in the mirror and saw the cut on her lip and the bruise on the side of her face.
 Seeing herself like that made her feel sick, she pulled out her bun so her long black hair covered her face. She didn’t want the others to know what was going on because she didn’t want to be a burden. Rick had left with Aaron to find supplies for Negan and Michonne had gone out to clear her head. Lucille stepped outside of her house and walked down the steps, she paused for a second and walked down the street. She felt soar when she walked but she hid it the best she could and she just kept her head down. 
No one noticed so far and she was glad that she could hide it so well. She heard the sound of trucks at the gate and she guessed it was the saviours. Negan was excited to be back so he could see Lucille or as he called her tiger lily. Well he had to bring Carl home and experience what it was like to live at Alexandria for a day. But most of all he wanted to make sure that tiger lily was ok, he knew something was up with her boyfriend. 
The trucks drove into the gates and pulled to a halt, the drivers killed the engines. Negan stepped out of the white truck with a huge dimpled smile. He swung Lucille up on his shoulder and Carl stepped out of the truck. Carl’s shot out eye was exposed and he carried his hat in his hands. Jake walked up to Negan feeling ‘brave’ “what the hell are you doing here?” Negan chuckled “oh look who it is, fuck face” Jake crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. Negan pushed past Jake without saying a word and Carl followed behind to his house. Lucille was sitting on one of the bench’s in the garden having a coffee when she spotted Negan and Carl. 
Her eyebrows furrowed, what is he doing here? She thought as Negan knocked on the door of Rick and Michonne’s house. Lucille got up from the bench and walked to her house luckily it was empty. A few minutes later she heard a loud knock at the door. She covered her face with her hair and opened the door to be greeted with Negan’s huge smile. 
Lucille was beyond surprised “Negan what are you doing here?” She asked shyly, “I thought I would come and fucking see my tiger lily.” Lucille blushed prettily making him smile wider “so are you gonna let me the fuck in?” Lucille moved to the side and Negan strode in and placed Lucille next to the door. “Do you want something to drink? I have whiskey” Lucille said walking into the kitchen. “Fuck yes I would love some whiskey” Negan said excitedly as he sat down on her couch. She got two glasses out of the top cupboard above the sink and the whiskey that was next to them. 
She walked into the living room, the glasses chinked as she set them down on the wooden coffee table in front of the couch. Lucille opened the whiskey bottle and poured the amber coloured liquid into both of the glasses. She handed it to him with a soft smile and he returned her smile. She was glad that he hadn’t seen her bruises on her face but he noticed the cut on her lip. Lucille sat down next to him and took a sip from her glass feeling the burn from the hard liquor going down her throat. 
“So how fucking long have you lived here?” Negan asked looking around her living room and then back to her. “Only for a few months we only found this place a while ago, Rick found me a little after this all started.” Negan was interested in her, not just because she looked just like her and neared her name. He was interested in her story and he wanted to get to know her a little better. “How did you find fuck face doll?” He chuckled as she instantly turned her head towards him. 
“Well I met him here and I figured what’s wrong with a fresh start.” Negan noticed the uncomfortable shift in her posture “is he good to you?” He asked wanting her to look at him. “Negan I don’t even know you so why should I fucking tell you? But yes he is good enough to me if you wanted to know.” 
She knocked back the rest of her drink and didn’t realise that her hair had fallen from her face. Negan’s eyes widened in anger as he saw the large bruise that covered most of the left side of her face. He moved his right hand to her face to cup her cheek gently. She flinched a little at his touch but didn’t withdraw. “Did he fucking do this to you?” He wasn’t really asking because he already knew something was up. “No I..I just fell over while walking down the stairs” she lied as she felt his hazel eyes boring into hers. 
He knew she was lying he could tell by the way she flinched when he went to cup her cheek. “Don’t fucking lie to me tiger lily” he said gently but firmly “y..yes he d..did this to me.” She moved her face away from his hand so she could look away from him. Negan immediately felt rage and sadness that she had been hurt so badly by someone who was supposed to love her.
She looked back at him with tears in her eyes, no matter how much she tried to hold them back they just came. “H..he’s been doing it for a while and he’s r…raped me too more than once.” Negan cupped her cheek again and stroked her cheek lightly with his thumb and sighed quietly. Negan didn’t tolerate men who hit women and most of all men who raped them. “I’m gonna fucking kill that fucker” he said gritting his teeth “no Negan it’s not your problem, plus you hardly know me.” Negan’s eyes dropped to the floor and then he looked back up to her. “I know I don’t but I don’t tolerate this shit in any fucking shape or form and you remind me of someone.” 
“Negan you have to go”she said firmly “Why?” He replied when he knew why. “Because I don’t know you and you don’t know me, you killed my friends and if Jake finds out you know what he’ll do.” “That’s why I want you to fucking come with me” he said raising his voice a little higher. “No, now will you just fucking go?” She practically pushed him out the door. “Don’t come back here” he heard her say as he rested Lucille on his shoulder. “Oh don’t worry I won’t” he called back with a smirk on his face and he knew that she knew he was being sarcastic.
A few minutes later she was in the kitchen when she heard the front door open and close she knew it was Jake. “Lu where are you?” He called from the door “I…I’m here Jake” she called from the kitchen. She heard his footsteps and she was terrified of what he would do to her. He stopped in the doorway of the kitchen just staring at her “I saw him near you again.” Lucille’s heart stopped oh shit I’m dead she thought as she tried to find an excuse in her head. “He was just saying hello we weren’t doing anything I swear” her voice shook slightly. 
He walked up to her until they were a breath apart “you’re not to go near him again is that understood?” Lucille nodded and her eyes fell to the floor as some relief fled through her. She knew he wouldn’t let her off that easy and she was right when she felt his hands grasping her waist roughly. “Turn around” He whispered into her ear but she didn’t listen she couldn’t tale this anymore. “I said turn around” he spat “no” she answered back “what did you just fucking say to me?” She pushed his hands away and backed away from him “I SAID NO!” She yelled. 
“DON’T YOU FUCKING RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME YOU LITTLE WHORE!” He yelled back as she backed away a little further. “I’M NOT GONNA BE YOUR FUCK TOY ANYMORE THAT YOU CAN JUST USE AND ABUSE!” Jake laughed loudly “oh you will be my fuck toy because you’re my little cum dumpster.” Lucille walked up to him and punched him in the face so hard he stumbled backwards. She knew she would be dead for that, he lifted his fist and it connected with her jaw making her fall to the ground. She tasted blood in her mouth as she struggled to get up but she did. “I’M NOT YOUR ANY FUCKING THING JAKE NOT ANYMORE!” she screamed as she tried to run away but her caught her and held her tightly in his arms. 
She struggled as grabbed her hair and slammed her against the wall and wrapped his fingers around her throat. She dug her nails into his wrists but he wouldn’t budge as he was squeezing the life out of her. She kicked him right in the balls and she fell to the floor gasping and coughing. She pushed her self up only to be pulled back by him, he punched her in the stomach then the jaw. He then slapped her in the face so hard she felt dizzy, he threw her on the ground. She dragged herself across the ground as she heard him walk back, she screamed as she felt a knife go into her side. 
“This is what you fucking deserve you little bitch!” He yelled, then suddenly the door burst open and standing there was Negan. Lucille’s eyes were half lidded as blood poured from her wound. “YOU FUCKING CUNT!” Negan yelled as he bashed Jakes brains in as she lay there watching. Once Jakes brains were turned to liquid Negan ran over to her “come on baby, you’re gonna be alright.” He ripped a piece of her shirt off, Lucille cried out in agony as he toed it tightly around her stomach to stop the bleeding. He placed his arm under her thighs and she wrapped her arm around his neck as he picked her up in his arms. She felt her head spinning and Negan’s face was the last thing she saw before she blacked out. 
LIKE OR REBLOG FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!
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madeofstardust17 · 5 years
Text
Whumptober prompt 5 & 6. Gun point & dragged away
Rating: T (to be safe)
Tw: none I guess. A child gets slapped but that's it.
Shiro & Keith, Keith & Adam, Shiro/Adam.
This is one of my personal favourites. Please leave a comment :D
...
“I’m telling you Shiro! It’s a shortcut!”
The ten year boy pulled on his hand, leading them into the alleyway.
Shiro raised an eyebrow 
“How do you even know about this ‘shortcut’?”
Keith let go of his hand when it was obvious that Shiro wasn’t going to budge, and huffed while rolling his eyes. He pointed towards the narrow path between two houses to their right 
“that leads to the school’s back door, and this one” he pointed to the alleyway he wanted to go through “goes to the town’s center. Now come on!”
He started walking rapidly, entering the alleyway
“Wait up!”
Shiro walked behind him as Keith happily lead the way.
Then they guy jumped from behind the dumpster. 
In different circumstances, Shiro would have been impressed by Keith’s reflexes. 
He was jumping away from the guy, his lips curling in a snarl, body tense as if ready to fight in less than two seconds. 
He ran forward, but stopped when he saw the guy point a gun at Keith. 
“You take one more step, the brat gets it” 
The man sounded southern, the voice muffled by the bandana he was wearing around his mouth. He swayed very gently on the spot, as if he were drunk or high.
Keith had gone pale, frozen in one place as he alternated from looking at the gun to looking at Shiro. 
The guy grabbed Keith by the shoulder roughly, and dragged him to the wall, pinning him there, making him stand on his tiptoes as he gripped his shoulder.
Keith didn’t make a sound, but his eyes spoke volumes as he wiggled.
“Tell the kid to stop or I’ll paint the wall with his brains”
“Keith!” he barked. Keith froze “don’t move”
“The bag” the man snarled at Shiro “Now.” 
Shiro swallowed thickly. He had important documents in his bag, documents about Kerberos
“We can make a deal” he told the man “I have money on my bag. I’ll reach down and grab it. Just let the kid go” 
The man laughed “nice try. The bag” 
He pointed at Shiro with the gun “I’m not asking again”
Shiro couldn’t breathe. He was so close. Just three meters away from Keith, but he couldn’t do anything. 
Then Keith, to Shiro’s horror, bit the hand pinning him to the wall, hard. Hard enough to draw blood. 
The man cursed and let him go, but the victory was short lived, since the man turned to Keith and slapped him hard enough to knock him down 
“Little bastard” he spit.
The moment the thug had let Keith go, Shiro sprung forward. He was too late to avoid the slap that made Keith fall to the ground, but as the man said the insult, he grabbed his shoulder and made him turn around.
Without waiting for the thug to react, he pulled his arm back and punched him across the jaw as hard as he could. 
The thug spun once before falling on the ground. 
Shiro stood there, breathing hard through his mouth as he looked for the gun the thug had dropped. 
There. 
He scooped it up from the floor, discharged it, letting the unused bullets fall to the ground, and threw it as far as he could. 
He then nudged the unconscious man with his foot, but he didn’t stir. 
His hand throbbed, but he didn’t care. 
All he cared about, was the little boy sitting on the floor, hunched over with his arms covering his head. He was shaking like a leaf. 
“Hey” 
No response
“Keith? Buddy?”
When he didn’t respond, he placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Keith flinched, but didn’t back away. 
“C’mon bud, I want to see you”
Keith slowly lifted his head, still trembling. His eyes were red but dry, and his cheek was red, but otherwise seemed okay. Physically, at least
“Oh kiddo” his voice didn’t break, which he was thankful for, but he felt a lump form in his throat. 
Keith raised his arms slightly, but quickly put them down, embarrassed. 
Shiro didn’t waste time and scooped the child up, hugging him close.
Keith in return wrapped his legs around his waist, his arms almost constricting around his neck as he buried his head on his shoulder. 
They were both shaking now. 
With one arm Shiro rubbed circles on Keith’s back while the other one supported him underneath his legs.
A few moments later, Shiro realized he should’ve probably call the police.
So he did. It took him longer than expected to dial the number, since his hands were shaking too, but he managed. 
The call didn’t last long, and the policewoman promised him they would be there shortly.
Next, he called Adam 
“Takashi?”
Shiro’s entire body sagged with relief
“Hey”
“Everything okay?” Adam said as Shiro asked
“Can you come pick us up?”
“We got mugged” before Adam could get a word in, he said “but we’re fine. The police are on their way”
“Is Keith okay?”
He hesitated, feeling the way Keith was still trembling in his hold, doing his baby koala impersonation 
“He’ll be fine. He’s in shock, I think”
“I’m coming” 
Shiro sighed in relief “thank you”
“Takashi?”
“Yes?”
“How are you?”
He smiled, trying not to feel like a liar when he said 
“I’m okay, Adam. I’ll see you soon”
“Alright… love you”
“Love you too”
He hung up and pocketed his phone. He sighed again, rubbing Keith’s back absentmindedly.
“Keith?”
He tried to push Keith away to see his face, but Keith’s arms tightened around his neck.
“They’re coming” Keith muttered.
Before Shiro could as who was coming, a police car appeared around the corner.
The thug was stirring, but before he was even fully conscious, one of the two policemen had cuffed his wrists. 
The other one approached Shiro. 
“Sir, I’m going to need you to tell me exactly what happened”
The part of Keith’s face that hadn’t been pressing into his shoulder retreated the moment the man had started talking, as if scared by the new voice. 
The policeman noticed and frowned 
“Are you both alright?”
“We’re fine officer. I think he’s in shock”
The policeman nodded, his eyes softer as he observed the child in Shiro’s arms.
“Is he your brother?” 
Shiro hesitated.
“Yeah”
“I recommend getting him home and taking it easy for the rest of the day. Make him feel safe”
Shiro smiled at the man 
“Will do, officer”
While the officers manhandled the man into the police cruiser, Adam arrived. 
His boyfriend’s whole body sagged with relief when he saw the two of them, and Shiro smiled tiredly at him. 
“Hey” 
Adam kissed his lips and then his forehead, needing to stand on his tiptoes in order to do so. 
“You guys alright?”
Shiro looked at Keith’s mop of black hair and then at Adam in quiet desperation. 
Adam looked at Keith.
“Hey, Keith” Adam’s hand landed on Keith’s hair, petting it softly “can I see you?”
Keith moved his head to one side, looking at Adam with big indigo eyes.
“Hey” Keith whispered, his voice smaller than Shiro had ever heard it. Adam smiled softly 
“Hey kiddo” the gentle tone made both Shiro and Keith relax slightly, which made Adam smirk at Shiro for a second before his eyes fell on Keith again.
“We’re going home, alright? We’ll watch one of those star thing movies you like so much, and we’ll make popcorn”
“Star Trek?” Keith’s voice was slightly hopeful now 
“That’s the one”
Keith smiled shyly at Adam, which made the man melt slightly.
And then Keith was struggling to be let down, and Shiro let him, even though it made his chest feel cold. 
Keith stumbled for a moment before finding his footing. He quickly grabbed Adam’s hand, falling into step with the couple. Shiro couldn’t help but notice Keith had positioned himself as far as possible from him. In fact, he didn’t even look at Shiro, even ducking his head when he caught his eye accidentally. 
They drove home in silence, the radio playing a soft tune. 
When Adam parked, the couple stepped out of the car. Keith didn’t move from his seat in the back.
“Give me a minute with him” Shiro said. Adam nodded and walked over to the front door. 
Shiro opened the door that led to the back of the car. 
Keith didn’t look up from his lap, where his hands were clenched tight. 
“Keith” 
He didn’t look up, hunching over even more. Shiro had a feeling why he was acting this way
“Keith, buddy. I wasn’t angry with you. I never was”
There was a moment of silence.
“You yelled” Bingo. It was half an accusation, half a explanation. His voice was hoarse and small “Figured it was my fault”
“Of course it wasn’t your fault bud” he dared to pass an arm around the boy’s shoulders. He was relieved when Keith leaned into his side. 
“I was the one who led you into that alley” He sounded close to tears and he sniffed miserably. 
“Come here”
Keith didn’t need to be told twice. He crawled into Shiro’s lap, and Shiro wrapped his arms around him, feeling his T-shirt becoming damp where Keith’s face was pressed into it.
“It wasn’t your fault, bud”
He promised, rocking back and forward slightly while Keith sobbed quietly
“I’ll never be mad for something like this, alright?”
Keith nodded into his chest. 
“But” Keith tensed slightly again “you have to promise me, Keith, that you will never do that again. You were lucky that the man didn’t hurt you badly. Please, just let me handle these kind of things”
His heart had never hammered so fast as when Keith had bit the man. It could have gone so wrong.
Shiro knew he was going to see that scene in his nightmares.
Keith looked up, looking confused 
“But you had important stuff in that bag. I couldn’t let him get it”
Shiro grabbed Keith’s shoulders so that he was staring right into his eyes.
“Keith, listen very carefully at what I’m going to tell you. You are more important than any document or file. Understand? They’re things, you’re a person. There’s no comparison”
Keith’s flushed face stared at Shiro. He nodded, before resting his head against Shiro’s chest again, letting out a tired little sigh as he did.
Shiro smiled 
“You tired bud?”
Keith hummed “a little”
“Alright c’mon, Adam’s waiting for us”
He got out of the car, Keith still in his arms and walked towards the building’s entrance. 
“I can walk, Shiro”
Oh yeah, Keith was back to normal.
“Nah. I like carrying you around”
“Let go!”
Shiro flipped him on his shoulder, holding him upside down.
“Nooooo! Shirooooo”
Keith’s shirt lifted due to gravity being a thing and left Keith’s bony chest exposed.
Shiro was weak to the temptation. 
A moment later Keith’s shrieks filled the air, laughing at Shiro’s tickling.
“Stop!” 
He continued the treatment until they reached their flat.
Adam stood in the living room, as small smile playing on his lips.
“Adam!” Keith shouted, still being attacked by Shiro’s fingers. He stretched out his arms “help me!”
He was being cradled in Shiro’s arms, wriggling as he tried to get away from the merciless tickling. 
Adam walked up to the pair and plucked Keith from Shiro’s arm, letting the boy down. Keith ran and hid behind Adam’s legs.
“Let the kid have a break Shiro” he drawled “he’s had a tough morning”
“Yeah” Keith agreed with all the seriousness he could, which wasn’t much since he was still smiling and giggling from the post-tickling sensation. 
Shiro hung his head dramatically.
But before Adam could walk away, he grabbed him around the waist and slung him over his shoulder 
“Takashi Shirogane!” 
Keith was laughing, right until Shiro scooped him up too and slung him over his other shoulder. 
Protests filled the room along with Shiro’s booming laugh. 
He stumbled over the couch and flopped down, effectively trapping his hostages underneath him 
“You’re squishing me!” Keith protested, hitting Shiro’s shoulder with his free arm.
“Takashi…” 
Shiro pouted “I just want to cuddle with my favorite people”
“How about we do that by watching a movie?”
“Star Trek!”
“The king has spoken”
So five minutes later, they were sitting on the couch, Keith cuddling into Shiro’s side, his eyes on the tv, while he ate popcorn from the bowl on Shiro’s lap.
On Shiro’s other side Adam sat with his head resting on Shiro’s shoulder. 
Shiro turned his head and kissed his fiancé’s temple.
“You okay?” Adam asked 
Shiro smiled, grabbing Adam’s hand.
“Yeah”
And he meant it this time 
“You guys are so gross”
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screamfairy1996 · 5 years
Text
Discovering the unbearable.
 Discovering the unbearable.
Characters do not belong to me.
It was a cloudy day in Japan. Clouds were dark and grey. Three teenagers, two girls and a boy along with the second girl’s pet were running with skateboards straight to an alley. They wanted to skate through the narrow alleyway so they can take the shortcut to the train station. They skate through shortcuts, mainly alleyways of abandoned steel storage back neighborhood places to get to the train station Steel junk intertwine with old garbage in stacks, and a 10 feet wall of garbage line up behind it, secured in anticipation of the storm perfect for the gang to ride on like a platform to impress each other and get to the train station faster.
"Hurry up, slowpoke. We’re gonna miss our ride" yelled the first girl in the lead, at the boy.
Hey shut up Ayako, I'm faster than you" replied the boy, as he did a back flip with his skateboard.
“Hey, Aki. Why this place?” The second girl asked as she tried to catch up with them with her pet Kishu on the leash. Her skateboard on her arm.
“Cause like me, this alley is slick.” Aki boasted.
And with that attitude Aki jumped his skateboard up onto a pile of sturdy looking boxes and rode on garbage and junk which made a horrible mess but a challenge to skateboard on.
"See who got skills now, Dolls" Aki exclaimed.
However Aki celebrated his abilities much too early. Just as he jumped onto his last garbage can, it collapsed under him. Aki fell sideways with junk, garbage and waste intertwined with leftover steel came down after him. Luckily nothing heavy fell directly on him but left him in a mess. The two girls could hardly contain their laughter.
Suddenly the dog sniffs and barks. He sniffs at the garbage and stuffed his mouth into the pile.
“Hey, what’s with your dog?” Ayako asked, helping Aki up.
“I don’t know. What is it, Rivaille?” The second girl asked as Rivaille rummaged through before pulling out a bloody and dirty white cloth. The teens’ eyes widened.
“What the hell is that?” Ayako asked in shock.
“Probably some junkie.” Aki suggested.
Rivaille put the cloth down and sniffs. The dog barks and pushes his owner with him. The three teens shrugged and followed the white dog. They walked down the street and into the beach which is hadn’t been cleaned in years and piles of garbage and broken appliances has littered the sand.
“This place stinks.” Ayako cringed due to strong odor in it.
“Maybe, Rivaille found something interesting.” Aki answered.
“We don’t have time for this. We gotta get to the station or We’re stuck.” Ayako said.
Rivaille sniffed the floor before stopping at a pile before digging through. The second girl helped him, wondering what’s bothering him. She managed to dig though before turning back with a shocked and horrified face. “Call the cops.” Was all she said.
“Why?” Aki asked.
She pointed her friends to what she found. Once they got a closer look. Their faces mirror their friend’s.
“Holy crap.” Ayako said
Around 20-30 minutes,later. Rookie cop Naomasa Tsukauchi walked through the beach, crime scene tape all around the garage. He approached another rookie cop. “The kids that found it, said their dog sniffed it and led them to the body.”  Tsukauchi asked as they approached the crime scene.
“The dog noticed a bloody cloth and its’ scent led him to where the body was located.” The rookie explained.
“We sure,it’s him?” Tsukauchi asked, dreading the answer.
I only heard the 911, but it's gotta be Roxas. No other boys matching his description were reported missing .’’ The man said as they approached the medical coroner working on the corpse.
“Poor kid was found naked, Took a lot of stabbing and cutting, And he's got a brand to his left side.” The ME said with a grim tone. 
Tsukauchi fights off the bile in his throat as he pulls out a picture of Roxas and compares it with the corpse.  Despite the severe injuries, The picture matched the body which means it is Roxas.  “It`s him.”  Tsukauchi confirmed with a shake of his head. He always had a soft spot for omegas, especially ones that are so young.  Roxas had a mate and a baby girl who is only 9 months old. He disappeared while his mate and child were out on a walk. When CSU did a full sweep of the house. It was clear that this boy was abducted and the neighbor later died from a gunshot to the heart while another person was shot in the forehead for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. There were no ransom note and the couple didn`t had any known enemies. They moved to Japan before their daughter was born.  Then a tape and Tsukauchi  had to keep his food in but he still believed Roxas was alive. And now he`s dead and Axel and Hikari would have to live without him. Sometimes, He hated this job.  Tsukauchi sighs. “Has patrol been dispatched to notify the boy`s mate.”  The rookie shook his head. “Good.”  Tsukauchi  said firmly and turned to the ME. “Please give me a COD and send the evidence to the crime lab. Get Roxas out of here before the media comes in. I don`t want his family finding out by the news.  The ME and orders her assistant to cover the body up.
5 hours later
ME`s morgue.
Tsukauchi walked into the ME`s office with a grim face. The ME was walking around with  a paper in her hand while Roxas laid on the table with a blue sheet covering his body. Roxas looked extremely paled as a ghost even with all the cuts on his figure. 
‘‘COD is either exsanguination or septic shock.”
“He bled to death.”  Tsukauchi surmise. “‘How many, marks,cuts,and stab wounds.”
The ME looked at her note. “ I counted between 50-75. The blade had to be long and serrated so it has to be a Chef`s knife.  There are also slash marks on the victim`s back. The ME moved the body slowly to reveal slash marks diagonally across the boy`s back which made  Tsukauchi felt sick.  The ME then continues “The chest and abdomen have the most stab wounds.  And get this, somebody used this kid as a punching bag. “ The ME pointed to the bruises coloring the boy`s face, collarbone, and back. She then pointed to his neck. “This boy was being choked daily, but there`s more.” The ME rolled the corpse to show open marks on his arms,back,legs, and chest. “The victim was whipped repeatedly.  The  wounds suggested the killer used a barbed wire to struck him.  The severe blood loss caused the organs to stopped working and  the brain begins to shut down due to lack of circulation which sends him into a  hypovolemic shock.  Killer made sure the lungs weren`t punctured but the amount of blood has pooled his throat and and heart.” The ME spoke.
‘‘Bastard wanted to keep Roxas for as long as he wants. Tell me, Roxas went down.”  Tsukauchi pleaded.
The ME shook her head, sadly. “I wish I could tell you. His heart was beating for at least 45 minutes after his brain shutdown.”
Tsukauchi sighed in anger. “Rape kit?”
The ME grimly nodded. “ Tested positive for fluids. We`re running DNA now. His insides are torn apart and this boy was repeatedly assaulted for months. This bastard put this boy through major hell before he died. “
“So when he died?”  Tsukauchi asked.
“I`d put time of death at Monday night between 5:00 and 8:00 pm. Body`s gone in rigor so he`s been in the dumpster for three days.”  The ME said.
The ME`s assistant comes in. “The victim`s boyfriend and friends are here to identify the body.”
“Stall them. I`ll clean him up.” The ME ordered.
Tsukauchi took a deep breath and leaves the room. He strolled down the office and sees Axel and his older brother Reno sitting. “Axel, How you`ve been? Where`s Hikari?” 
Axel who was worse for wear. “Not good. I left her with a family friend. Please, did you find Roxas? Is he okay? Tell you have a lead.” Axel pleaded. Reno placed a hand on his shoulder.   Tsukauchi led them down the hallway. “I got a call, saying you have information about Roxas. I-I cam-e here as soon as I can.” Axel said shakily. 
Tsukauchi took a deep breath. “That`s correct. We found Roxas....”
“Where is he!?! I need to see him. I-I-I have to see my angel. Please?!?” Axel begged brokenly. Reno tried to calm him to no avail.
The cop then lead the redheads to the morgue where the ME was standing over a table with a blue sheet covering something. Tsukauchi nodded at the ME and she gently pulled the sheet over to reveal that angelic face tainted by bruises and the familiar blonde hair.
Reno paled as Axel shakes his head. “No, no, no. My angel is not dead. He`s not dead.
“We`re so sorry for your loss.” Tsukauchi said regrettably.
‘DON`T SAY IT. MY ROXY IS NOT DEAD.” Axel cried with tears streaming down his face. He knelt and caressed the boy`s face which felt cold to his touch.  "ROXAS!! NO!! DON'T LEAVE ME!! PLEASE!!" Axel screamed while trying to wake Roxas.  But it was too late... He was gone, the person he loved is gone. He thought that they were gonna be a happy family and maybe even have another child. Axel stared at Roxas 's lifeless body and hugged it tightly. He prayed to god that Roxas will come back. He let his tears fall on Roxas and held his hands. "R-Roxas.. p-please don't l-leave me..." Axel sobbed,holding his omega tighter.  “Wh-at about Hikari? I can`t raise her on my own. What do I do? Please angel. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. “ Axel sobbed brokenly. “Baby, I love you. My beautiful perfect angel. “ Reno, Tsukauchi , and the ME watched in sadness and sympathy as Axel broke down in tears, clutching his dead lover. “ROXAS, I CAN`T LIVE WITHOUT YOU AND I CAN`T RAISE OUR PRINCESS ALL ALONE!!!” Axel wailed in terrible pain. It was clear that Axel will not be okay for a while..... The love of his life ripped away and leaving him damaged and torn on the inside. His heart in shambles. He`ll never love anyone again.......  Axel started to hug his dead body closer to his heart. Roxas really was gone.He would never see his smile again, hear his laugh again, hug him, kiss him, love him. He was truly gone.
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Text
Now I’m Just Unaffected
A/N: I tried writing a thing based off of Joe Iconis’s Kevin - I think it’s okay, at least. Hopefully it’s not terrible. Enjoy?
——————
Kevin wandered down the street, his shoes pounding on the sidewalk harshly. He slowed, his adrenaline wearing down. His breath was heavy, and he put his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. His phone buzzed in his pocket, but he refused to answer. It was probably just Thomas calling, worried. He pulled it out to see if he was right. The contact said 'Pop-Tarts'. Yeah, he was. He shoved his smartphone back into his pocket. It'd been a few years since the Ugandan mission. Arnold stopped calling in, too busy with his new life back in Uganda with Nabulungi. Connor didn't call him as much anymore either. It was Connor's fault Kevin lived in Brooklyn now. He hated him. Hated him. He didn't know it, but Connor's disappearance had affected him more than it should have.
--------------------
Connor had tried reaching out to Kevin, but he just... couldn't. When he looked at the ex-Mormon, he didn't see the guy he knew anymore. They'd moved to Brooklyn together, but after months of the same routine, Connor had gotten tired of it all. At least in Uganda, he'd had more... change in his life. Kevin was growing weary and cynical, and it was affecting Connor in a negative way. He couldn't deal with his new attitude anymore. So he picked up his things, and after a fight with Kev that he regretted, he left. He went back to Utah, and moved in with Thomas. His friend had happily let him, despite the fact Connor wasn't a Mormon anymore either.
The red-haired man couldn't have stayed Mormon. With his time out of the closet, the Church never would have accepted it. But Thomas never could shun his friend, gay or not. Connor was grateful, but he worried about Kevin. It had been six months since he went back to Utah, but it hadn't felt that long. He knew Thomas had stayed in contact with Kevin, he'd heard his blond friend talking to his ex-boyfriend. Thomas was growing worried about Kevin, he'd told Connor. "Kev's not in a good shape, Con. I think we need to go visit him." But there was no 'we' in this situation. Connor left him, it was Connor's job to help him.
Thomas had gone off to the bathroom, and Connor grabbed his phone. He looked it over a moment. This is what he left his dying sister for. Connor knew Thomas hadn't known she was going to die, but... it pained him to think about, and he turned that sympathy off. He opened Thomas's phone, using his password; it was 842632, or Uganda. Of course, that was his mission location; it meant a great deal to him. He went to his contacts, and clicked on 'Elder Price'. He called, but Kev didn't pick up. Did Kevin know it was him? Or was Kevin too busy to answer who he thought was Thomas? He tried again, and started to lose hope right before Kevin answered. "Thomas, I'm busy. If you could call back later-" Connor's breath hitched in his throat, as the all-too familiar voice came over the phone. "Kev?" He didn't realize it at first. Since when did Kevin call Pop-Tarts by his real name? "Oh. Connor."
The shorter man heard the sigh on the other end of the line. "Kev, I get that you're busy, but I'm worried about.. you..." His voice trailed off as Kevin sharply chuckled. There was no amusement in the chilling sound. "You're worried about me? I haven't gotten a single call from you in months, not even a text. Look, don't call me. I don't want to talk to you. If Thomas wants to call me, tell him to find another phone to call me on. Apparently, this one's been infected." The line went dead, as Kev hung up. The words were childish and snide, but they stung him more than he would let on. This is why he had wanted to keep his emotions locked away, bottled up in his head. So he wouldn't deal with such rejection.
"Elder McKinley, you can't just turn off your emotions." "Elder Price, I can and I will." "You’re going to have to deal with your feelings eventually, Connor.”
The conversation lingered in his head. Kevin's tone had been kinder, gentler then. Brooklyn had changed him. It was like he found no purpose, no meaning for life anymore. Connor looked over at the nearby kitchen counter. Two tickets to Brooklyn tomorrow morning. He grabbed one, and slipped it into the trash bin. He'd lie, and say it went missing. Then he could go to the airport, and head to Brooklyn by himself. He didn't need Thomas to help talk sense into Kevin. He would have to make sure Thomas didn't tell Kevin about the flight mishap, or that Connor was going by himself. He couldn't throw away Thomas's phone either, it meant too much to him. He'd regret it, and end up telling Thomas. Thomas wouldn't want to see Connor either. If anything was to happen between Kevin and himself, he'd have Thomas to turn to. He couldn't sacrifice that.
--------------------
Kevin quickly turned his phone on silent, and shoved it back into his pocket. It wouldn't vibrate either, so he wouldn't know whether Connor contacted him again until he got home. He kept walking, noticing how dark it was. He noticed a woman up on Atlantic, and headed her way. He felt rage ripple through him in waves, and he needed to take it out on something- rather, someone. She turned around and looked at him fearfully. He still wore his work clothes; his nametag was in his pocket next to his phone. She started walking faster, before she started running. Shouldn't have been wearing heels, he thought as he grabbed onto her hair a block away. She had taken one off, and thrown it at him. It had delayed him, but not enough. She had stumbled trying to take the second one off. That had been her fatal mistake. They were by a club, and he dragged her a couple of concrete squares away as if that would help. He wrapped his hands around her neck, as she let out a strangled cry. She couldn't have been much older than himself, he noted.
Her face grew an unnerving red, with tinges of blue from being underoxygenated. She was facing away from him, but he could tell she was dying. Her struggles slowed, as her hands stopped trying to pry his off, and instead they fell by her side. In a shock, he let go. She slumped over. He was sweating a little, but that was from the struggle. She wasn't moving, wasn't breathing. He knew now something was certainly wrong.
He wasn't feeling the emotions he was supposed to.
He looked around, searching for any witnesses. No one was there to see the boy who used to be a cheerful Mormon become a cold-hearted killer. He'd just murdered her without a second of debate. Now he just... didn't care. He could care about this all later, if someone saw her here, with bruises on her neck that fit the shape of his hands... he'd be screwed. He picked her up, and started carrying her off in a hurry. He found an empty alleyway, and tossed her behind the dumpster. She had nice clothes, and was quite pretty, really. People would be sure to notice that she had gone missing. He picked the wrong victim. Accusations that sounded like Connor McKinley shot through his head. 'Why are you worrying about choosing the wrong victim? You just killed someone! Why aren't you feeling guilty, or sympathy for her family?! They're going to be grief-stricken at the idea of their daughter being dead!'
But those weren't emotions going through him. He'd broken himself, and now everyone was sure to know. He knew what was going to happen. He was going to get arrested for her murder, because his fingerprints were on her neck, and on her hair, and on the pink and white scarf around her neck, and he'd be sent to jail, and he could imagine people he knew finding out. He could picture the headlines now. 'MORMON MAN COMES BACK FROM UGANDA, BECOMES MURDERER.' He realized he was walking away. He wiped the sweat off of his head, and noticed his breath was steadier than it should have been. 'Feel something, damn it!' He wondered if he would feel different if he had moved to Queens instead of Brooklyn. He decided not. He made it home into his dark apartment, and went into his bedroom. He wanted to be panicking, to be fearful, and worried, and guilty, but he wasn't anything but calm.
He was sitting on his bed, which felt lonelier than ever. Kev wanted Connor here, he wanted to hear Connor's voice. But he couldn't confess what he did over the phone. He pulled his phone out again, and called Thomas's phone. "Elder Price!" Thomas's cheery voice came over the phone. "Pop-Tarts, hey! D-do you think you could put Con on?" Thomas laughed. "Of course!" He heard a muffled 'Elder McKinley, it's for you!' since Thomas probably had his hand over the phone. "Thank you," he replied charmingly. After a beat of silence, he heard Connor's voice. "Kev? I thought you didn't want to talk to me?" Kevin sighed. "Connor, when are you getting here?" Connor stammered a moment, before responding with 'why'. Kev was a little frustrated with his ex, who insisted they were just on a break. "I want to get back together. Me and you. I miss you." He clicked the end call button, and watched as it rang in his hand again, leaving Connor bewildered.
"And I need someone to be my next victim."
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my-random-ocs · 3 years
Text
Chapter 4: Magic Bullet
Pairing: Stiles x OC (eventually)
Warnings: Language, mentions of blood, cutting off of limbs, bullet wounds
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“If Derek isn’t the alpha, if he’s not the one that bit you, then who did?” Stiles whispers to Scott. My attention is pulled away from the teacher handing out our tests, and I focus on my friends.
Last night, Scott went to Derek to confront him about the bus driver, but Derek told Scott he wasn’t the one who killed him. Derek also wasn’t the one who bit Scott- it was an alpha werewolf, except Derek doesn’t know who the alpha is.
“I don’t know,” Scott shrugs.
“Did the alpha kill the bus driver?”
“I don’t know.”
Stiles sits back for a minute, but leans forward again. “Does Allison’s dad know about the alpha?”
“I don’t know!” Scott exclaims, turning around to glare at Stiles. It came out louder than he meant it to, as most of the class turns to look at him.
The teacher places our tests on our desks as she passes. I smile as I look at my grade, an ‘A’. “Dude, you need to study more,” Stiles says, looking at Scott’s grade, a ‘D-‘. Annoyed, Scott shoves his paper onto his desk. “That was a joke.”
“Scott, it’s just one test,” I reassure him. “You’ll make it up. Do you want help studying?”
“No,” he says. “I’m studying with Allison after school today.”
“That’s my boy,” Stiles says.
“We’re just studying.”
“Uh, no, you’re not.”
I furrow my eyebrows. “They’re not?” I question.
“Not if I’m forced to live vicariously through him,” Stiles defends. I smirk. He turns back to Scott. “If you go to her house today and squander that colossal opportunity, I swear to God I’ll have you de-balled.”
I quickly turn back to face the front. “And I did not need to know that.”
“Okay,” Scott says. “Just... stop with the questions, man.”
“Done. No more questions. No more talk about the alpha or Derek. Especially Derek... who still scares me.”
____________
“Scott’s coming over?” Lydia asks as her, Allison, and I walk up the stairs. “Tonight?”
“We’re just studying together,” Allison says.
“Just studying never ends with just studying. It’s like getting into a hot tub- somebody eventually cops a feel.”
“Well, so what are you saying?”
“I’m just saying, you know, make sure he covers up.” Allison looks away, confused, and Lydia laughs. “Hello, Snow White! Do it with him with a condom.”
“Can we maybe not talk about this?” I ask, wincing. “I just got done talking to Scott and Stiles about this.”
“Are you kidding? After one date?” Allison scoffs.
“Don’t be a total prude,” Lydia says. “Give him a little taste.”
“Well, I- I mean, how much is ‘a little taste’?”
I look at her with a small smile. “You really do like him, don’t you?”
“Well, he’s just different. When I first moved here, I had a plan. No boyfriends ‘til college. I just move too much. But...” Allison starts to smile. “Then I met him, and... he was different.” She laughs a little. “I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”
I grin. They really are so cute.
“I can,” Lydia says. “It’s your brain flooding with phenylethylamine.”
Allison laughs. “What?”
“It means you’re happy,” I say, placing a hand on her shoulder.
“I’ll tell you what to do,” Lydia says. “When’s he coming over?”
“Right after school,” Allison says.
Just then, the bell rings. “I’ve got to get to class,” I say, tightening my grip on my books. “I’ll talk to you guys later.” They wave goodbye to me as I walk quickly down the hallway.
____________
Stiles and I hop into his Jeep after school. He was giving me a ride home. He starts driving as I fiddle with the radio. Suddenly, someone jumps in front of the car. “Stiles, stop!” I yelp.
He slams on the brakes, an arm shooting across my stomach to keep me from lurching forward. “Oh, my God,” he says. And we almost killed Derek. Man, this dude is everywhere. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, this guy is everywhere.”
Derek collapses just as Scott runs up to us. “What the hell?” Scott asks as Stiles and I get out of the car. Scott kneels next to Derek. “What are you doing here?”
“I was shot,” Derek says, his head lolling forward.
“He’s not looking so good, dude,” Stiles says. He’s right. Derek is extremely pale, and he’s been bleeding from the looks of his hand.
“Why aren’t you healing?” I ask, joining Scott on the ground.
“I can’t,” Derek says. “It was- it was a different kind of bullet.”
“A silver bullet?” I try to keep the excitement out of my voice.
“No, you idiot.”
“Wait, wait,” Scott says, something occurring to him. “That’s what she meant when she said you had forty-eight hours.”
“What? Who- who said forty-eight hours?”
“The one who shot you.”
“I’m sorry, Scott, you were there when Derek was shot?” I demand.
Before anyone can respond, Derek groans, his eyes shifting between glowing blue and their normal brown. “What are you doing?” Scott asks, freaking out. “Stop that!”
All around us, car horns are beeping. Hold your fucking horses, people. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you, I can’t!”
“Derek, get up!” Scott lifts Derek to his feet. “I’m gonna put him in your car,” he says to Stiles, already moving toward the Jeep. I open the passenger side door and Scott sits Derek there.
“I need you to find out what kind of bullet they used,” Derek says as the door closes.
“How the hell am I supposed to do that?”
“‘Cause she’s an Argent; she’s with them.”
“Why should I help you?”
“Because you need me.” Yeah, that seems like a pretty good reason.
“Fine, I’ll try,” Scott sighs. Stiles and I hop back into the Jeep, him in the driver’s seat, me in the back. “Get him out of here,” he says to us.
“I hate you for this so much,” Stiles says, driving away.
____________
Derek is getting worse by the second. “Nothing?” I ask from the back seat as Stiles sighs in frustration, tossing his phone down. He had texted Scott to see if he found the bullet.
“Nothing.” He turns to Derek. “Hey, try not to bleed out on my seats, okay? We’re almost there.”
“Almost where?” Derek groans.
“Your house,” I say. It seemed kind of obvious.
“What?” Derek whips his head up. “No, you can’t take me there.”
“We can’t take you to your own house?” Stiles demands.
“Not when I can’t protect myself.”
“Alright.” Stiles quickly pulls over. “What happens if Scott doesn’t find your little magic bullet? Hm? Are you dying?”
“Not yet. I have a last resort.”
“What do you mean?” Stiles exclaims. “What last resort?”
“Why does that sound more terrifying than death?” I ask. Derek rolls up his sleeve, revealing a bloody gunshot wound. I wince, immediately looking away. “Oh my fucking God, what the hell is that?”
“Oh, is that contagious?” Stiles groans. “You know what, you should probably just get out.”
“Start the car,” Derek says simply. “Now.”
“Yeah, I don’t think you should be barking orders with the way you look, okay? In fact, I think if I wanted to, I could probably drag your little werewolf ass out into the middle of the road and leave you for dead.”
“Start the car, or I’m gonna rip your throat out... with my teeth.”
“Well, how very horror movie-esque of you,” I say. “Still able to frighten me to the very core, I see.”
Without a word, Stiles starts his car, and pulls away from the curb.
____________
“What are we supposed to do with him?” I ask Scott. Stiles and I had decided to call him to see what was taking so long with finding the bullet.
“Take him somewhere, anywhere,” Scott whispers.
“Tell Scott he’s starting to smell,” Stiles chimes. I roll my eyes.
“Stiles says he’s starting to smell.”
“Like what?” Scott asks.
“Like death!” Stiles adds.
“Okay, take him to the animal clinic.”
“What about your boss?” I ask.
“He’s gone by now. There’s a spare key in the box behind the dumpster.”
I sigh, passing my phone to Derek. “Okay, so it is really ironic where Scott’s telling us to take you.” I turn to Stiles, smiling. “The animal clinic.” Stiles grins.
“Did you find it?” Derek asks Scott. “Look, if you don’t find it, then I’m dead, alright?” He pauses. “Then think about this. The alpha called you out against your will. He’s gonna do it again. Next time you either kill with him, or you get killed. So if you wanna stay alive, then you need me. Find the bullet.” Derek hangs up and hands the phone back to me.
____________
Derek, Stiles, and I finally get to the clinic when Stiles’s phone beeps. Derek collapses on the ground as I hear dogs bark from inside. “Does northern blue monkshood mean anything to you?” Stiles asks.
“It’s a rare form of wolfsbane,” Derek says. “He has to bring me the bullet.”
“Why?” I ask. “We know what it is, can’t we just make a cure now that we know?”
“We need the bullet to make the cure. I’m gonna die without it.”
Stiles pushes open the doors to the back room as I help Derek walk to the table. He tosses his shirt to the side and lays his arm out on the table. It looks like it got worse. The veins surrounding it are all black and it doesn’t seem like it has stopped bleeding.
“You know that really doesn’t look like anything some echinacea and a good night of sleep couldn’t take care of,” Stiles says. I toss him a look.
“When the infection reaches my heart, it’ll kill me,” Derek says, breathing heavily. He turns and starts searching through the cabinets.
“Positivity just isn’t in your vocabulary, is it?”
“If he doesn’t get here with the bullet in time... last resort.”
“Yeah, every time you say ‘last resort’, it sounds even more terrifying,” I say. “What exactly is it?”
Derek holds up a saw. “You’re gonna cut off my arm.”
I freeze. “We’re going to what?”
Derek passes the saw to Stiles, who presses a button, turning it on. He immediately drops it. “Oh my god.” Derek starts wrapping a piece of rubber around his arm. “What if you bleed to death?”
“It’ll heal if it works,” Derek says, the rubber in his mouth.
“Ugh. Look, I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Why not?”
“Well, because of the cutting through the flesh, the daring of the bone, and especially the blood!”
“You faint at the sight of blood?” Derek demands, aggravated.
“No, but I might at the sight of a chopped off arm!”
“Fine, how about this? Either you cut off my arm, or I’m gonna cut off your head.”
“Okay, you know what, I’m so not buying your threats any-” Stiles is cut off by Derek grabbing his shirt and yanking him forward.
“Oh, my God, I’ll do it!” I exclaim.
“You will?” Derek and Stiles ask in unison, both obviously shocked.
“Yeah,” I shrug. “I’ll just get therapy later. Give me the saw.”
Before Derek can, however, he gags. “What?” Stiles asks. “What are you doing?” Derek leans over and vomits what looks like black blood all over the floor, which makes me start to gag. “Holy god what the hell is that?”
I shake my head, trying not to look at the puddle of blood on the ground. “Nope. Nope, I did not sign up for this.”
“It’s my body,” Derek moans, “trying to heal itself.”
“Well, it’s doing a really shitty job!” I cry.
Derek looks at me. “Now. You gotta do it now.”
“Yeah, okay.” 
“Viv, I don’t think you should do this,” Stiles says.
“I’ve got this. I built a treehouse with Dad and Hazel when I was nine. I think I remember how to use a hand-saw.” I take a deep breath, pressing the on button a few times, and try to psych myself up. “Okay. Okay, I can do this.” I turn to Derek. “I’m sorry for any screaming that may ensue.”
“I’ll be fine,” Derek says, gritting his teeth in anticipation.
“I meant screaming from me,” I clarify. I begin to lower the saw onto his arm, and Stiles turns away. “Here we go!”
“Viv! Stiles!” Scott calls.
“Scott?” Stiles asks.
As Scott runs into the room, and looks at the scene in front of him: me with a saw against Derek’s arm, blood on the floor, and Stiles in full panic mode. “What the hell are you doing?” He shouts.
I immediately drop the saw as Stiles laughs in relief. “Oh, you just prevented a lifetime of nightmares,” I say.
“Did you get it?” Derek asks.
Scott pulls a bullet out of his pocket. “What are you going to do with it?” Stiles asks as Derek stares at it.
“I’m gonna...” Derek starts wobbling and collapses, the bullet flying out of his hand and into the heating vent.
“No,” Scott says. “No, no, no, no.” He falls to the ground and attempts to get the bullet, but he can’t reach it.
Meanwhile, Stiles and I rush to Derek and try to wake him up. “Derek,” Stiles says, slapping his face a little. “Derek, come on, wake up.” I shake his shoulders but it’s not working. “Scott, what the hell are we gonna do?”
“I don’t know!” Scott exclaims, still trying to get the bullet. “I can’t reach it.”
“Guys, he’s not waking up,” I say. “I think he’s dying. Yeah, now would be a good time to go to the hospital. I think he’s dead!”
“Just hold on!” Stiles and I continue to shake Derek. “I got it!”
“Please don’t kill me for this,” Stiles says, pulling his fist back. Knowing what he is about to do, I jump out of the way. Stiles’s fist connects with Derek’s face, and he falls back, screaming and shaking his fist. “Ow! God!”
Good thing that actually worked. “Give me...” Derek mutters, now awake. Scott hands him the bullet and helps him stand. He bites the bullet open and pours the powder onto the table.
“Are you going to snort bullet powder?” I blurt. Derek ignores me and lights the powder on fire, sending sparks into the air. “Oh, my god!” I jump back in surprise.
He takes the powder and rubs it on the wound, which causes him to scream in pain. Without thinking, I fumble for something to hold on to, and Stiles takes my hand, pulling me back as Derek collapses on the floor. Slowly, the wound begins to heal, blue smoke coming out of his arm.
“That... was... awesome!” Stiles exclaims pumping a fist. Scott and I look at him like he’s crazy. “Yes!”
“Are you okay?” Scott asks Derek as he sits up.
“Well, except for the agonizing pain,” Derek answers.
“I’m guessing the ability to use sarcasm is a good sign of health,” Stiles says. Suddenly, I realize he and I are still holding hands. Reddening, I pull away.
“Okay, we saved your life,” Scott says, “which means you’re going to leave us alone. You got that? And if you don’t, I’m gonna go back to Allison’s dad, and I’m gonna tell him everything-”
“You’re gonna trust them?” Derek demands, interrupting him. “You think they can help you?”
“Well, why not? They’re a lot fucking nicer than you are.”
“I can show you exactly how nice they are.”
Scott looks at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”
Without a word, he motions for Scott to follow him. Throwing a perplexed look our way, Scott follows him out the door.
____________
On the way home, it’s silent except for the radio. “Would you have really done that?” Stiles asks.
I furrow my eyebrows. “Done... what, exactly?”
“Cut off Derek’s arm. Why did you volunteer yourself for something like that?”
“Because it- it was the right thing to do,” I say simply. “He was dying, there was something that could potentially save his life, and- I don’t know, it just sort of seemed like a no brainer to me.” Stiles just stares at me, smiling softly. “What? What are you looking at?”
“You will never cease to amaze me, Vivvy,” he says.
I laugh. “Oh, stop.”
“It’s true! I could never have cut off someone else’s arm, and there you were, willing to scar yourself for life for someone that scares the fuck out of both of us. I mean, that’s incredibly brave.”
“Yeah, well, I have experience with being scarred for life, so... just add it to the list,” I smile, attempting to joke.
His eyes widen in realization that I’m talking about the accident. “Sorry for bringing it up.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I’m fine.”
He doesn’t look convinced. “You’re sure?”
I roll my eyes, smiling. “I’m fine. I promise.” Finally, we arrive at my apartment building. “Thanks for driving me home,” I say as Stiles pulls up to the curb.
“No problem,” Stiles says.
I grab my backpack and open the car door, hopping out. I close the door, and I look back at Stiles. “Did you mean it?” I ask.
“Mean what?”
“Earlier, um-” I start fidgeting with my hands, suddenly embarrassed. “Uh, you said I was brave. Did you mean that?”
Stiles smiles. “Always, Princess Leia.”
I smile back. “Thanks, Han Solo. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bye.”
I run into the building so Stiles can’t see the giant grin on my face.
0 notes
southsidestory · 6 years
Text
#across the stars (a wank wars story)
SUMMARY: Across the Stars dramatizes the story of the real life Skywalker clan, and fans of the show have built a legion of fractured followers across social media. Ben Solo goes by @mynameiskyloren, and his dealings with Rey, aka his rival fandom leader @jakkujunkrat, bring more than his true identity to light.
NOTES: This is the Star Wars social media fic that absolutely no one asked for. At best I can call this romantic crack with a dose of seriousness, and at worst the result of my brain weasels. Either way, it’s somewhat of an ode to tumblr and its crazy. If this isn’t a dumpster fire, please let me know! (PS my awesome husband helped me brainstorm for this, the evil genius.)
a long time ago in a fandom far, far away...
WANK
WARS
EPISODE VIII
ACROSS THE STARS
It is a period of civil war. Fans of popular historical holodrama ACROSS THE STARS squee over the Skywalker family legacy. The show’s three arcs, Republic, Rebellion, and Resistance, have earned critical acclaim and a legion of followers. In the wait between Seasons 7 and 8, WANK WARS fueled by boredom have gripped the fandom as they never have before.
The FIRST ORDER disparages AtS for its failure to dramatize the real Skywalkers' lives with historical accuracy after Season 3. @thesupremeleader, a BNF known only as Snoke, instigates drama whenever the fandom threatens to settle down.
But @mynameiskyloren, Snoke’s loyal devotee, is keeping his true identity hidden from the fandom. It’s only a matter of time before his dealings with @jakkujunkrat draw him away from the First Order, and he makes enemies of his former friends...
15 days before the Season 8 premiere
jakkujunkrat
Look @mynameiskyloren I really don’t care about the historical accuracy of seasons 4-7. Most of us are here to have fun, to write fic and make art and shitpost about our favorite characters. You and your anti brigade need to get off your high tauntauns and face facts: Across the Stars prioritizes good storytelling over everything else. If you can’t accept that maybe you should move your ass along to another fandom instead of harassing the people who are here to celebrate something we love. I mean, this is a holodrama. Don’t you have anything better to do than fight over a piece of fiction???
#ats #wank wars #first order bs #fuck you very much
mynameiskyloren
You’re a hypocrite @jakkujunkrat. You’re arguing over a holodrama too, so you must not have anything better to do either.
And in case you haven’t noticed, this isn’t just fiction. These are real people’s lives being portrayed for mass consumption. Seasons 1-3 dealt in facts, and it still managed to draw all of us in, so don’t feed me that shit line that following real events doesn’t make for a good story.
Just be honest: you’re here to ship Han and Leia, and you don’t care what their marriage is like irl as long as you get their perfect love story in AtS. Maybe YOU should gtfo and find somewhere else to fangirl.
Or you know, just stick to scavenging, since that’s probably all you’re good at.
#ats #hanleia shippers are the worst #and jakkujunkrat is their queen #fuck you too sweetheart
fn-1337
Calm down, mynameisasshole. Dragging Rey’s real life into a fandom fight is a dick move. Especially since your privileged ass probably doesn’t know the first thing about the kind of hard work Rey does every day. So sit down and shut up.
#wank wars #first order bs #leave my friend alone
14 days before the Season 8 premiere
jakkujunkrat
unpopular opinion: Yav Korren is a good-looking man and a great actor, but he is not as hot as the real Ben Solo.
#ben solo #my husband #apologies to yav #but otherwise sorrynotsorry #all these candids of ben cropping up on my dash are fucking me up #han and leia made the best looking son #they have good genes
starfleet-ace
lmao someone is thirsty. that’s an unpopular opinion for a reason, rey. you know i love you, but we’re gonna have to agree to disagree on that one. back me up @fn-1337
#yav korren is almost as hot as my boyfriend
fn-1337
Sorry baby, no can do. I’m with Rey on this one.
#<3 #ily poe
jakkujunkrat
Ben Solo is boyfriend goals. Fight me.
#we appreciate ben solo in this house #don’t come on my lawn and disparage my man #ben solo
themaidofstarkiller
Sorry @jakkujunkrat, it’s gross enough to ship real people, but openly talking about a 19-year-old celebrity child like he’s a piece of meat takes it to the next level. You’re really something else. Am I right, or am I right @therealhux @mynameiskyloren
#RPF is the stuff of nightmares #creeping on a real kid is even worse
therealhux
100% correct, Phasma. I couldn’t agree more.
mynameiskyloren
I hate to ever support @jakkujunkrat, but I don’t think it’s fair to criticize her just for having a celebrity crush. Who the hell doesn’t?
And she’s right about Ben Solo. Definitely better looking than Yav Korren.
jakkujunkrat
@themaidofstarkiller I’m 18, which I have plastered across the top of my blog. You stalk me too much not to already know that, so you can stfu with pulling Ben Solo’s age like it’s a receipt.
and kylo… did you just defend me??
#is the sky falling?
mynameiskyloren
Don’t get used to it, junkrat.
13 days before the Season 8 premiere
thesupremeleader
Just a reminder to the First Order that I have a zero tolerance policy for talking to Resistance fans.
I’m not going to call you out, but you know who you are.
#stay away from the resistance #if you want to keep your place on the right side of this fandom
therealhux
There’s no accounting for taste these days.
#not that I would expect better from the fan in question #he has so much trouble following the rules #like a toddler
mynameiskyloren
@therealhux if you have something to say to me, go ahead and say it.
#vagueposts are for cowards
therealhux
I just did. Or did you miss it with that goldfish attention span of yours?
#don’t see you calling thesupremeleader a coward
mynameiskyloren
Fuck you.
therealhux
So eloquent.
thesupremeleader
I don’t think you have room to further alienate your allies right now, Kylo. You’re on thin ice.
#get it together
mynameiskyloren
sorry @thesupremeleader
PRIVATE MESSAGES
jakkujunkrat: finn, are you seeing this?
fn-1337: you mean mynameisasshole taking heat from the first order BNFs? yeah i’m seeing it, and it tastes like sweet sweet comeuppance.
jakkujunkrat: i know i shouldn’t, but i feel kind of bad for him. he’s getting roasted by snoke and hux just for being nice to me. do you think i should say something?
fn-1337: rey. are you kidding me? this is the guy who’s been giving you hell for *four* years. remember that time he left a nasty review on your post-canon fic? he called it what… “repetitive and trite”?
jakkujunkrat: okay. good point. he can fend for himself.
12 days before the Season 8 premiere
jakkujunkrat
This is the worst selfie in the world, but here you go. My sunburned face in all its glory.
#it me #forgive me for dirtying your dash with this
themaidofstarkiller
You should change your handle to jakkuleatherface. Or buy some sunscreen.
#she’s going to look 50 when she’s 30 #jakkujunkrat
therealhux
No wonder you’re single @jakkujunkrat
#I knew that someone that bitchy couldn’t be pretty
fn-1337
Don’t listen to a word these shitheads are saying, Rey. You’re beautiful.
#say one more word and i will drag you guys to hell and back
starfleet-ace
hux: i don’t think your pasty ginger ass gets to talk about anyone else’s looks
phasma: you’re as pretty on the outside as you are on the inside. which is to say ugly af
rey: you’re stunning, and they’re just jealous.
#you guys are really reaching here
PRIVATE MESSAGES
fn-1337: Rey? You okay?
jakkujunkrat: yeah. i’m fine. just don’t really wanna talk right now.
fn-1337: all right, peanut. let me know if you need me. i’m here all night.
JAKKUJUNKRAT INBOX - ask me whatever as long as it’s nice
Anonymous
Hey. I’m really sorry to see all the hate you’re getting about your selfie. I hope this isn’t creepy coming from anon, but… I just want you to know that you’re really pretty, and those guys are being assholes. It’s got nothing to do with the way you look. They’d say the same thing to any Resistance fan.
jakkujunkrat
Thanks, nonny. I really needed to hear that.
And thank you @starfleet-ace and @fn-1337 for being awesome. You guys are the best friends a girl could ask for.
11 days before the Season 8 premiere
jakkujunkrat
I need to take a break from fandom for a little while. Real life is catching up with me, and the rig I’ve put together to even get a slow shitty connection to the holonet is breaking down. I need to put my scavenger hat on and do some maintenance.
See you guys in a few days.
#it’s just a brief hiatus #i promise i’m not ghosting #personal
fn-1337
Take care, peanut. <3
#best friend #see you soon rey
therealhux
Maybe with the queen gone the peasants will settle down.
bee-bee-ate
I have a finger to point at you @therealhux. Here is a clue: it is not the index or the pinky, or the ring or the thumb. It’s the one you put up when you don’t give a fuck. :D
#choke bitch
10 days before the Season 8 premiere
fn-1337
Look, all I’m saying is that old!Han and old!Leia’s actors absolutely killed it in Season 7, and I can’t wait to see what they do in Season 8.
#my dash is flooded with promo photos of my OTP #and all I want to do is write HanLeia #ONLY TEN MORE DAYS
mynameiskyloren
Newsflash: your OTP is separated irl. Kills the romance a little doesn’t it?
If Season 8 is full of the same used romantic tropes that 4-7 was full of idk if I’m even going to stick around for it.
#god i hate this fandom #fuck the resistance
fn-1337
I’ve never prayed harder for used romantic tropes in my life.
#mynameisasshole strikes again #and for the record i only ship HanLeia in AtS #not irl #wank wars #first order bs
9 days before the Season 8 premiere
JAKKUJUNKRAT INBOX - ask me anything mean and you’ll be blocked
Anonymous
Hi. I know you said you were going to be gone for a little while, but I was just wondering if there’s an ETA on when you might be back? The fandom is pretty boring without you, junkrat.
PRIVATE MESSAGING
jakkujunkrat: ...did you send me that anon?
mynameiskyloren: no. if i have something to say to you i’ll say it to your face
jakkujunkrat: come off it, kylo. nobody calls me just “junkrat” but you. i’m “rey” to everybody in the resistance, and first order idiots would never send me anything that nice.
jakkujunkrat: kylo? you there?
mynameiskyloren: i’m here
jakkujunkrat: well. you sent it, right?
mynameiskyloren: yeah i did. but i can explain
jakkujunkrat: explain being decent to me? yeah that’s gonna require a fucking thesis.
jakkujunkrat: you’ve done nothing but harass me since i got involved in this fandom
mynameiskyloren: give me a break, rey
jakkujunkrat: i’m not giving you anything
mynameiskyloren: fine then there’s no point in having this conversation
jakkujunkrat: just be honest. why’d you send me that ask?
mynameiskyloren: because you seem all right. i still disagree with you about pretty much everything AtS related but… i don’t know. i’m starting to think that’s not a good enough reason to give you hell
mynameiskyloren: i think if i’d met you irl we could have gotten along. you have to admit that we keep up with each other pretty well.
mynameiskyloren: rey? say something
jakkujunkrat: i have to go
8 days before the Season 8 premiere
therealhux
Attention, all First Order fans: one of our own has been fraternizing with the resistance. And what’s more, he’s been stringing us along from day one.
@mynameiskyloren has lied about his age, where he lives, and who he is. He also has a relationship with the Across the Stars cast and their real life counterparts, which he’s been hiding for seven years.
Kylo Ren is actually Ben Solo, and if you don’t believe me I’ve got receipts and all of his personal information below the cut.
[Read More]
#payback is a bitch #mynameisalie
themaidofstarkiller
Hux. Is this some kind of joke??
starfleet-ace
@therealhux did you seriously just doxx one of your own??? wow you’re a piece of shit
fn-1337
Why isn’t anyone commenting on the fact that one of the biggest antis in this fandom is BEN FUCKING SOLO?!! ACTUAL SON OF THE REAL HAN AND LEIA!
#holy shit #it explains a lot at least #oh god i’ve been shipping his parents’ characters
fn-1337
@jakkujunkrat REEEEYYYYYYY
bee-bee-ate
This is gross. Real life identities should be protected, not revealed. Shame on you @therealhux
a-new-rose
Wow. This is crazy. I just got to this fandom and it’s kind of exploding…
#this guy can’t really be ben solo tho right?
thesupremeleader
I don’t think it needs to be said, but if anyone hasn’t put it together yet: mynameiskyloren is no longer welcome in this fandom.
#that’s what you get for lying
PRIVATE MESSAGES
jakkujunkrat: kylo? is it true?
sorry, this blog does not exist
7 days before the Season 8 premiere
mynameisbensolo
Hi everyone. This is the former mynameiskyloren here. There’s been a lot of stuff said about me in the last twenty-four hours, and I want to clear it up.
1) @therealhux did doxx me, which is low even for him.
2) I was talking to someone from the resistance, and the reason why is that I’m coming to see the damage that anti behavior can cause. I’ll make a more detailed post on that later, but in short, it’s going to involve a lot of apologizing.
3) In case you hadn’t guessed from my new handle: yes, I am Ben Solo.
PRIVATE MESSAGES
starfleet-ace: REY where are you?? finn is flipping out and i can’t handle a fanboy meltdown this big on my own
starfleet-ace: Rey?
JAKKUJUNKRAT ACTIVITY FEED
mynameisbensolo is following you
JAKKUJUNKRAT INBOX - don’t ask me anything about ben solo
Anonymous
HOLY HELL!! mynameiskyloren is Ben Solo?!! pls tell me what you think about all of this Rey
Anonymous
ok i can see that u don’t want to be asked about ben solo, buuuut… you know we’re all dying to hear from you, right? i mean, you made that post about ben solo being hot, and then he turns out to be kylo!! come on Rey, throw us a bone here!
PRIVATE MESSAGES
fn-1337: rey, i know this has gotta be pretty weird, but i’m starting to get worried about you. can you please come online long enough to let me know you’re all right?
jakkujunkrat: hey finn. i’m sorry for disappearing. this is all just… a lot.
fn-1337: yeah, i guess it would be.
fn-1337: can i ask you a question?
jakkujunkrat: always
fn-1337: are you the one he was talking to?
jakkujunkrat: yep. and he followed me this morning. idk what to do, finn.
fn-1337: you don’t have to do anything. you don’t owe him shit just because he decided to finally act like a human being. not after the way he’s treated all of us.
jakkujunkrat: i know that. really, i do.
fn-1337: then what’s the problem?
jakkujunkrat: the problem is that i think i was starting to like him. and now he’s… he’s ben solo. how am i supposed to talk to ben solo?
fn-1337: he’s just a person, peanut. an asshole, but a person.
6 days before the Season 8 premiere
jakkujunkrat
Guys. I know you’re interested in what I think about the Kylo Ren / Ben Solo thing, but I would really appreciate it if you’d stop sending me messages about it. I’ve turned off anon for now. All of you have a nice day.
#sorry #this is getting to be a bit much
therealhux
So are you guys running off into the sunset together yet?
#you don’t have anyone fooled
jakkujunkrat
It looks like you can’t read: I’m not talking about Ben.
#your name should be therealilliterate
themaidofstarkiller
Our resident pathological liar certainly has the money to fly to Jakku. You two fucking yet?
#jakkuleatherface
this post has been deleted
PRIVATE MESSAGES
mynameisbensolo: Rey? I understand if you don’t want to talk to me, but if you can, let me know
5 days before the Season 8 premiere
fn-1337
It seems like this fandom has forgotten why we’re really here. Season 8 starts in FIVE DAYS, so can we please forget about doxxing drama and focus on the fun?
#damn #ats #ats season 8 #FIVE DAYS in case i didn’t say it loud enough for the people in the back
bee-bee-ate
I am with you @fn-1337!
a-new-rose
Am I the only one that thinks @bee-bee-ate is some kind of resistance bot?
starfleet-ace
in entirely unrelated news, is anyone else sick of Snoke’s stupidly detailed metas with a list of citations longer than his arm? we really don’t care how many degrees you have, man. it’s just a holodrama and you’re treating fandom like a history test you have to pass.
thesupremeleader
I think it’s safe to say that you wouldn’t know much about passing history tests @starfleet-ace.
FN-1337 INBOX - don’t bother with hate
bee-bee-ate
Are you going to roast Snoke for calling your boyfriend stupid?
fn-1337
You bet your ass I am.
#bring it you supreme idiot #i’m about to rip you apart
4 days before the Season 8 premiere
PRIVATE MESSAGES
jakkujunkrat: Ben? I’m here
mynameisbensolo: Damn. It’s really nice to be called by my real name lol
jakkujunkrat: lol I guess so
mynameisbenolo: Rey, I know it probably doesn’t mean much, but I’m sorry for everything I did to you. I hurt you and I bothered the hell out of you, and if I could take it back I would.
jakkujunkrat: It’s not okay, but I believe you. And I guess I can see now why you were so sensitive about the show. It must be weird to see yourself represented on screen like that.
mynameisbensolo: lol yeah. Especially when the popular opinion is that Yav Korren is a lot better looking than me :/
jakkujunkrat: Well. Not to me. But I guess you know that.
jakkujunkrat: this is so embarrassing.
mynameisbensolo: i saw that you deleted everything you had tagged with my name
jakkujunkrat: what, you went looking through it? That’s not narcissistic at all.
mynameisbensolo: better than tagging a stranger #my husband
jakkujunkrat: i don’t know why i thought i could talk to you. i don’t care who you are, you’re still awful
mynameisbensolo: wait i’m sorry rey don’t go
mynameisbensolo: please
jakkujunkrat: why shouldn’t i?
mynameisbensolo: i wasn’t trying to be mean
jakkujunkrat: and yet
mynameisbensolo: Stop it. Stop acting like you don’t feel this too.
jakkujunkrat: i don’t know what you’re talking about.
mynameisbensolo: Then I’ll be more explicit. I like you. I think you’re gorgeous and funny and smart, and I’ve wanted to kiss you for awhile. Long before I had any idea what you looked like.
mynameisbensolo: Still don’t know what I’m talking about, sweetheart?
jakkujunkrat: i can’t do this right now. i have to work if I want to eat. Literally.
mynameisbensolo: please don’t disappear again
3 days before the Season 8 premiere
fn-1337
If one more person sends @jakkujunkrat another message or hijacks her posts with questions about Ben Solo I will personally escort them to the nearest burn unit.
#not kidding #not even a little bit #leave my friend alone #sologate
starfleet-ace
get these thugs, finn.
bee-bee-ate
I support this action.
#protect our scavenger queen
PRIVATE MESSAGES
jakkujunkrat: all right. let’s talk.
mynameisbensolo: I’m really glad you said that. Because… okay don’t be mad. Please.
jakkujunkrat: ...why would I be mad?
mynameisbensolo: I’m kind of. Here.
jakkujunkrat: what do you mean “here”?
mynameisbensolo: as in, on Jakku. I’m at Niima Outpost right now. I’ve tried getting directions from about ten different people but they either don’t speak Basic or have no idea where you live.
jakkujunkrat: you’ve got to be joking. are you joking?
mynameisbensolo: Depends on how angry you’ll be if I say “no”
jakkujunkrat: You have to leave. Right now.
mynameisbensolo: Oh. Okay.
mynameisbensolo: I’m really sorry, Rey I don’t know what I was thinking. I just knew you were here, and I wanted to have a chance to talk to you in person. But if you want me to go, I’ll go.
jakkujunkrat: then get out of here
mynameisbensolo
Please forgive me.
#do not reblog
2 days before the Season 8 premiere
therealhux
All I’m going to say is that you got what was coming to you.
#no i don’t regret doxxing him #stop asking
themaidofstarkiller
^^^
#lol #revenge is delicious
mitakahere
Do you think they’re broken up? Or were they ever together?
#forgive him rey!! #i don’t know what he did #but pls forgive him
fn-1337
Full offense @mitakahere but this is none of your business.
#leave my friend alone #i’m getting really tired of tagging that
themaidofstarkiller
Resistance morons aren’t welcome on this thread @fn-1337
Get the hell off Hux’s post.
#they’re just everywhere aren’t they? #but finn is the worst
bee-bee-ate
@themaidofstarkiller you have a bad dye job and a worse attitude. Perhaps you should consider a personality recalibration.
#i could help with that! :D
PRIVATE MESSAGES
jakkujunkrat: Ben?
mynameisbensolo: yes?
jakkujunkrat: where are you?
mynameisbensolo: on Hosnian Prime. Why?
jakkujunkrat: please come back to Jakku
mynameisbensolo: really? You’re not messing with me, are you?
jakkujunkrat: really. I’ve never had a visitor before, and you surprised me by just showing up unannounced. which wasn’t all right by the way.
mynameisbensolo: I know. I won’t do it again.
jakkujunkrat: stop messaging me and get on a ship.
mynameisbensolo: as you wish, sweetheart.
1 day before the Season 8 premiere
starfleet-ace
okay i think that no matter where you stand in this fandom, we can all agree that tomorrow is gonna be awesome. we’ve been waiting a year for this! don’t let us down, Rian!
fn-1337
You can say that again, love.
#ONE DAY #ONE MORE DAY #THAT’S IT #23 HOURS AND 14 MINUTES TO BE EXACT
PRIVATE MESSAGES
fn-1337: Rey??? Where r u? I need someone to celebrate with.
jakkujunkrat: sorry finn, i’m busy.
fn-1337: what are you doing that makes you too busy to cheer with me?!
jakkujunkrat: ...you wouldn’t believe me if i told you. catch you later!
fn-1337: oh come on, you can’t do this to me
fn-1337: REYYYY
Season 8 premiere of Across the Stars
fn-1337
DID YOU SEE THAT? @starfleet-ace?!
#i’m fucking dying #this is the most amazing day of my life #well except for when poe agreed to go out with me #STILL #it’s great #ats season 8 #ats
starfleet-ace
yeah i saw it! best season premiere ever.
#love you finn
therealhux
I can’t believe we can agree on something.
#this is a novel experience #ats season 8 #if they keep this up the show might actually become worthwhile again
bee-bee-ate
The astromech droid is my favorite character.
#so relatable
mitakahere
Where the hell is Rey?! @jakkujunkrat
#come back our scavenger queen #we miss you
MYNAMEISBENSOLO INBOX
Anonymous
Did it really happen like this? Please you have to tell us!!
PRIVATE MESSAGES
mynameisbensolo: are you seeing this?
jakkujunkrat: of course :)
jakkujunkrat: watching Yav is pretty weird now that i’ve met you
mynameisbensolo: still think i’m the better looking one now that you’ve seen me up close?
jakkujunkrat: you know i do. at least i really hope so after last night.
mynameisbensolo: are you doing okay? you seemed upset afterward
jakkujunkrat: i’m fine
mynameisbensolo: Rey. I think we’re a little past lying to each other at this point. What’s wrong?
mynameisbensolo: was I bad?
jakkujunkrat: no! no. please don’t think that. it was wonderful, Ben, really. you were wonderful.
mynameisbensolo: so were you. and i really hope it wasn’t the last time i see you. i’d like to come back. Or bring you to Hosnian Prime with me.
jakkujunkrat: I can’t. I can’t leave. That’s why I was upset. My family left me here, and I’m waiting for them to come back for me and I can’t leave. I want to but I can’t and I probably sound really stupid right now but I’ve been waiting all my life and I don’t want it to be for nothing.
mynameisbensolo: it’s all right. You don’t have to go anywhere you’re not ready to go, sweetheart.
mynameisbensolo: And I can wait. If that’s something you want.
jakkujunkrat: It’s not easy. Waiting.
mynameisbensolo: That’s okay. You’re worth it.
64 notes · View notes
rottenappleheart · 6 years
Text
excelsior! or something like that
I know, I know, I’m a day late on this whole “2017 retrospective” thing that all the kids are doing, but in my defense, I was on a plane from 2 AM - 6 AM, slept two hours, and then began prepping a surprise two-person New Year’s Eve party. More on that at the end.
That was a dumpster fire of a year and no mistake. The biggest thing I can think of when I look back over the past twelve months is that I lost a lot of friends. The fallout from losing A, my best friend since we were six years old, continued to rip chunks away over the year, and I ended it with exactly one in-town meatspace friend left. So. There’s that.
But it takes effort and concentration to remember good things instead of only bad, and that is a skill I should work on developing going forward. Here’s what didn’t suck about my 2017:
living in my own space at last after years of borrowing people’s guestrooms, where I could finally eat off my own dishes and unpack all my books and only have people over who I liked and felt safe around
assembling The Poetry Wall
being a groomswoman in my dudefriend’s wedding
camping with gatheringbones in one of the most gorgeous landscapes I’ve ever seen
started posting that war vet space boyfriends story I’d been thinking about for actual years
wrote a thing for Wolf 359 that had me laughing my ass off for a solid week
listening to the entirety of The Adventure Zone between August and December, ending with some very cathartic crying on Christmas Eve-eve
beginning to play D&D, and then to flailingly try running my own campaign
learning to cross stitch
seeing Sweeney Todd at a pie shop dinner theatre
my boss gradually, gradually becoming less of a horror to me, and having enough money to live on 
and most recently and overwhelmingly of all
being contacted by, and then eventually visiting, my extended family, who I expected to have lost completely when I became estranged from my folks, and rebuilding a sense of self and context and history and understanding I thought I’d never have again.
I think - and hope - that 2018 will be an eventful year. Short version, longer explanation to follow: I’m planning on moving back to the mountains at midyear. I think it’s what I need to do and should do and fingers crossed it works out better this time, because I no longer have the social safety net to fall back on that I once did. (But hey, at least it can’t go worse than it did the first time!) I’m planning on continuing to run D&D campaign(s), continuing to save money, continuing to try creating things instead of just absorbing them. I have some serious brainwork to do about my family and my faith and what I want going forward, but I think I’m stable enough to try engaging with those issues instead of just continuing to avoid them.
The specific goals for the year are as follows:
move the hell out of this area
be more honest with people about my thoughts and feelings, instead of trying to manage and obfuscate them
channel my best Jimmy Eat World: “If I don’t let myself be happy now, then when?” 
Wish me luck, folks. I really appreciate all that you faraway friends have done for me this year.
10 notes · View notes
twinkluffy · 7 years
Text
[AO3] TodoDeku fanfiction recommendations.
Hi there, this your local shipper trash with a longpost for TodoDeku fanfiction in AO3. 
Fanfics with Smut/lemon will be rated with an “T” or “M” beside the tittle. I know we have people under 18 in the fandom and i want it to be a safe space for them (but I also know you little sinners will read it anyway because i was young once too)
all the link + summary under the cut.
Hamartia 
She boils a pot of water and blinks away her tears 
Oh my, oh my goodness!
He had been too absorbed in his own thoughts to even notice how dangerously close they got, young Todoroki had pushed his student against the wall and they seemed to be whispering, young Midoriya didn't look too freaked out and his face was definitely red. All Might watched as Midoriya's eyes softened and his hands came to rest upon Todoroki's shoulders, gasping when the other only pulled him closer for a warm looking embrace.
Oh my.
Clandestine [Rated M]
These dorms are a double edged sword, especially with the dual consolation and obstruction named Midoriya Izuku.
Crispiness of a fucking nerd 
Awkward boyfriends have to practice after their first kiss goes horribly awry.
Passion
When he was young, Shouto knew the meaning of kindness. Then he manifested his Quirk. He became Todoroki after this. He locked his younger, naive self in the strongest safe box his mind could muster. Then he met Midoriya and remembered who he was.
Tie the knot [Rated M]
Todoroki and Midoriya's Bedroom Adventure.
Red Rope [Rated T]
Todoroki takes up an ancient, but beautiful form of art to practice. Midoriya slowly falls into it.
knock it back [Rated M]
Midoriya reads the label and his eyes bug out. "I know he's getting old, but your dad's going to notice this missing."
He grins. "So?"
or they waste some expensive wine.
(nothing really gay about it)  [background pairs tsuchako and momojirou + sweet precious Kirishima]
If anyone had asked him what he thought he’d be doing at three that morning, Kirishima probably would have said “playing angry birds” or “making popcorn” or something. Definitely not playing wingman-slash-relationship-counselor to a hopelessly confused Todoroki Shouto.
And yet...
How would you feel 
It’s Wednesday morning when Izuku’s mother texts him to remind him about his cousin’s wedding coming up the following weekend, and it’s Wednesday evening, when Izuku’s back in his room after classes and has time to call her, that she tells him she can’t go to the wedding with him.
An arrow to a blunde [AU]
In which Todoroki Enji tries to screw around with Shouto's life (again), but fails to account for the fact that his son's boyfriend has both backup and determination to spare.
Land and sea [AU]
Midoriya Izuku never expected to be the victim of a plane crash. He never expected to be trapped with nineteen other teenagers on a deserted island, either. Izuku also didn't expect to form such a strong relationship with Todoroki Shouto.
Painting the night with the sun 
Heroism is not a low-risk occupation. Hospital waiting rooms are not pleasant places. Ochako's clothes are stained with her best friend's blood.
Today has not been a very good day.
Just a fantasy [Rated M]
Todoroki can't help but think about Midoriya even when things start to get hot. He wonders what it would be like if he were around for real to touch him. His imagination just goes wild with the thought of Midoriya being near him. 
from somewhere within
Todoroki wants. He always wants. 
Lace  [Rated T]
“Welcome home, Izuku,” Todoroki says. 
His radiance in the dark 
In other dreams, the words they pass between them were minimal or at least indecipherable, with only the whisper of each other’s given name over and over. But now, Midoriya looks in Shouto’s eyes, says his name, and says, What are you so afraid of?
fake it till you make it 
“Your d-d-d-date?” Izuku swears he’s overheating. He can almost feel the steam coming out of his ears. He’s lucky they’re the only ones in the room, because his face is so red, it could rival Kirishima’s hair.
“Yes. I would like it if you could pretend to be my boyfriend for the duration of the wedding,” Todoroki deadpans. “It would piss off my father.”
Up the wall
He was told love makes you weak.
Well, Todoroki would like to disagree.
I won’t just buy you a rose 
Shouto decides to visit his mother for the first time in years, and decides to stop at a flower shop along the way.
He freezes in place, and before he can move again someone is bustling through the door behind the counter, all messy hair and wide green eyes. It’s a teenager, a little shorter than Shouto but probably the same age. He’s got a wide smile and there’s a smudge of dirt on his cheek, which instantly draws Shouto’s attention. His fingers itch to rub it off.
Bedroom escapade [Rated M]
The sheets underneath them bundled and creased under the weight of their bodies. Midoriya grasped at the thin, white linens as Todoroki trailed his tongue ever so slowly down the other man's chest. Midoriya's back naturally curled at the feeling, Todoroki's tongue running over his lithe form and prominent ab muscles. Hands clung to Midoriya's waist, squeezing lightly as the younger man squirmed slightly. 
I wish i could say all these things to you  
Todoroki couldn’t help but want more, knowing his life means more with Midoriya in it. Wishing he could say how complete and whole he feels with him in his life. But willing pushing that aside for Midoriya to stay by his side for as long as possible.
Until one evening, a stinky dumpster cat aggressively entered their lives.
Plum blossoms
Todoroki visits Midoriya after an accident that takes a good chunk of his memory away, specifically his memory of All Might.
Luxury 
He knew it wasn’t a good idea, but he just couldn’t help himself. 
Study sessions
“My scar. Is it that bad, or something?”
The silence that followed was killer, making him wonder if asking was really worth it. Midoriya looks on at him with a mix of emotions before huffing out a sigh, sagging in his seat, coming to a conclusion. “You’re going to think I’m weird, Todoroki-kun.”
“Try me.”
Fight Club 
In his defense, Izuku would mention the fact that they are fifteen and that sparring with an extremely attractive male – it‘s just the adrenaline rush, really - is bound to result in this. Social media had taught him that much, at least.
It‘s just his rotten luck that his 'handsome sparring partner' happens to be his friend Todoroki Shouto. Which is entirely unfair and really bad for Izuku‘s poor rabbit-heart.
(alternatively: Midoriya fights his sexuality, inferiority complex, feelings, and his crush)
a burger and extra salty fries 
In his third year at UA, Todoroki Shouto works in a burger place, catches on fire and falls in love. Only two of those things are on purpose.
Or...Todoroki Shouto's exciting adventures in customer service.
Visions 
Todoroki sees the glimpses of the future that he yearns for and he finds himself afraid.
contemplation
"If I die first, could you cremate me?"
Or, in which Midoriya has thoughts and Todoroki is a good boyfriend.
Let it go [Villain!Deku]
He’s got him this time. This time for real.
Carnations and delphiniums
The awkward atmosphere had dissipated, and Todoroki felt a bit more vulnerable like that. Just him and Midoriya, hands intertwined, sharing some new unspoken secret that neither of them really knew what it was.
The Earth could have split in half right then and there, and Todoroki wouldn't have ever noticed.
Petals for you [Hanahaki au]
“You’re pretty.”
Shouto’s eyes widened, as he looked at the boy sitting opposite of him. Midoriya was staring at him with such concentration, that he felt overwhelmed.
just like falling asleep (or falling in love)
From the very beginning, Todoroki's always been walking on unsteady ground. He thinks of falling and he thinks of landing, and he isn't sure which he's more terrified of.
I’d fight for you
“What the hell is this?” Todoroki shot up at the voice, causing Midoriya to lose his balance, and tumble off his boyfriend and back onto the couch. It would have been quite comical, had the situation not become deadly in mere seconds.
“You’re not supposed to be back yet.”
Look out your window
“Izuku.” Todoroki placed a kiss on the tip of Midoriya’s nose. “Izuku.” His cheek. “Izuku.” His mouth.
They'd finally decided to call each other by their first names and Todoroki didn't know how he'd survived until now not saying it.
He leaned down and kissed Midoriya again. “Izuku.”
If you’re looking for something more specific send me a message/ask! ❤ 
526 notes · View notes
colashirts · 6 years
Note
the hanged man, temperance!
THE HANGED MAN / favorite movie soundtrack?wow omg !! um,,firstly, thank u so so much for asking! i didn’t think anyone would actually respond so this means a lot! 💖probably, i’d have to go with the black panther soundtrack, the greatest showman soundtrack, the call me by your name soundtrack, and i’d say love, simon’s soundtrack but the full thing hasn’t been released yet!!TEMPERANCE / can you describe a strange dream you’ve had?yes, actually!! i have many small tiny weird dreams but i have one that’s stuck with me for about a year now..ok, so my sister and i are in the dream, and she’s basically a teen prostitute (in the dream, not in real life) who’s living with an abusive boyfriend. the thing is, though, he’s not her boyfriend. he’s some strange man who saw her walking alone at night and invited her over, and sort of abducted her. i’m not exactly sure how that worked, because again, it was a dream.. anyway, she’s living with this man, who’s like in his mid-thirties and it’s really gross and toxic. and for some reason, my parents are dead (or just away, it’s hard to tell) and my brother doesn’t exist in this alternate universe! so, it’s just me, on this strange mission to return my sister from her horrible situation. oh! and another thing—i guess we live in the “ghetto,” so this takes place in an ugly neighborhood (ok, i think i can call it ugly because it’s fictional and actually very much resembles where i live(d) haha), specifically in an apartment complex.the apartments themselves are disturbing, more so because of who lived in them. i don’t remember exactly everyone, but there was this one guy who stuck out. he was an alcoholic and a child predator, and it was fucking creepy. in this dream, i was barely in my early teens (around 12, 13, idk why!!) and so he was so much scarier.well, the story begins with my sister and i walking towards his apartment, late at night. i’m crying and she wears no expression. it’s weird. it’s dark, and as we’re walking by all the sad-looking houses, a dog barks at us and i jump and cry some more, but my sister keeps walking, and tells me we’ll be home soon. well, we reach the apartment complex. there’s a high gate that doesn’t have a buzzer or anything, you just push it. i really want to walk past it, and i can tell she does too. there’s about four dogs barking at us and the alcoholic is beside them, peering at us with a crazed look on his face. god, i was so scared, it felt so real.and then she pushed the gate open, and the man and his dogs were gone. she walked up the stairs and i did too. her boyfriend (let’s just call him her boyfriend, even though he’s not really) is waiting for her and the lights are on. now i’m just watching from outside, and he’s talking so calmly and everything about the situation creeps me out.i begin to try and make my way home (even if home doesn’t really exist here) and i’m running across the apartments to the other set of stairs because i don’t want to have to face the man and his dogs. only, when i reach the stairs, where there was nothing, the alcoholic sits. i try my best to calmly walk down, but his gaze unnerves me. i want to scream, i’m only a child!i make it by, thankfully, and i’m leaving from the back, where the dumpster hides. well, i’m about to leave and suddenly get so scared. i can’t explain it, something just feels off. so, i wait by the dumpster to see if my sister would come out, or to listen for screaming. when nothing comes, i decide to sleep by the dumpster for the night because now i’m too scared to walk home. then, it’s morning and i’m still scared. it also seems the alcoholic man never left his spot at the stairs, and is now watching me. now, i’m supernaturally freaking out.i run and run, but i’m not fast enough. the dogs appear out of thin air and the alcoholic man only cheers them on. he moves in on me, and i’m crying and yelling, hoping surely someone would come and help. my sister then comes running out of the apartment, all bloody and disheveled, but it’s not her blood. she’s running past the cars and past the gate, and she’s out, yelling my name. i don’t think she can hear my shouts. the alcoholic man grins and i scream and my sister cries and yells and i don’t know exactly how to describe it but everything’s a literal blur. the whole dream is replaying in flashes and then i’m awake.i woke up crying and in a cold sweat. definitely the strangest, most disturbing dream ever. honestly, i don’t think i’ll ever forget it. i also had a dream not too long ago where tom holland cracks an egg over my head in a laundromat, but maybe later.oh! and, another dream that i think is strange. it’s really short and simple, but it’s so random i just wanted to quickly add it to enlighten the ask.so, basically, this was a couple days after harry styles’ kiwi music video had dropped.so, i was in gym class, and we were all dressed and sitting in roll-call order. and harry styles was our gym teacher.but nobody fucking questioned it. and it was the weirdest thing ever.he was like, “before we run, let’s do some quick warm-ups.”someone stood up and tried to demonstrate the proper exercise (we were doing push ups). harry styles was so fucking ashamed.he was all like, “no, no, no. stand up, stand up, everyone!” we were all so confused, and i kind of really wanted to laugh. and so he says, “look, when you exercise, you need to be like a kiwi.” i have no idea what that even means.then he says, “oh, and, speaking of kiwis, has anybody seen my ‘kiwi’ music video yet? it just dropped, please watch.” and i’m fucking laughing so hard, none of this makes sense. and then we run and i’m walking towards the locker room and this girl behind me finally says, “ok, why the fuck was harry styles our gym teacher?” and then the dream ends.that was really fun!! please send more questions ❤️❤️
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totalkpoptrash · 7 years
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Get To Know Me Tag
I was tagged by one of my favorite mutuals! @literally-just-yoongi-trash
Rules: answer all the questions in a new post and tag blogs you would like to know better!
A: Age - 28 ugh I’m old.
B: Birthplace - Everett Washington, USA
C: Current time - 2:31 AM
D: Drink you had last - Coffee
E: Easiest person to talk to - @lumenardens and @fueledbyrebecca are my go to when I need to vent. In general though, I find it pretty easy to talk to people overall, I’m not shy or embarrassed about much so I tend to overshare, if anything lol.
F: Favorite song - I’m LIVING for Dimple off Love Yourself, but oddly one of my all time faves that will never change is Hotel California by the Eagles hahaha. 
G: Grossest memory - Okay so settle in because this is gonna be a wild ride. (A little gruesome, heavy focus on a dead raccoon if that’s not your thing check out while you can) One day oh.... about 7 or 8 years ago now, it was HOT AF in the middle of Southern PA summertime, so think like 100 degrees but also 90% humidity to where you step outside, blink once, and then immediately get covered in sweat i STG I moved away from here for a reason and I hate myself for coming back this place is hell. Anyway.  So I am in a car with my boyfriend and his buddy, coming up the hill in the long ass driveway where my boyfriend’s uncle lives to see that his uncle is out in this big wood shed that he had full of tractors and stuff??? This is redneck country zone where people drive tractors down the actual street and you sometimes get stuck behind them it’s GREAT. So we come up this hill and stop the car because his uncle is standing there just motherfucking up a storm. So, the boys get out of the car and start talking to him. I am having none of that, I am in the car where there is still shade, but I DO open the windows because the air conditioner is off now that the engine is dead and the heat is already seeping into my bones. Apparently, somehow, there is a dead raccoon stuck in the wheel well of the tractor that my boyfriend’s uncle needs to use. And we are talking DEAD. Like, left there for too long, body bloated, flies swarming dead. And his uncle is trying to figure out how the HELL to get it out of there because pulling on it is not helping, since it’s all bloated and nasty.  Enter the genius boys. A pitchfork. They decide to try and SCOOP IT OUT USING A PITCHFORK. Great plan guys, except for the part where THEY ACCIDENTALLY DIDN’T GET FAR ENOUGH UNDER THE BODY AND MANAGED TO IMPALE THE DAMN THING RIGHT IN THE STOMACH WITH THE TINES!!!!  The. Smell. Have you ever smelled the insides of a decaying scavenger animal? No? CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY. Think dumpster full of baby diapers left in the hot sun combined with meat that got left in the garbage for too long or something, and then also add this kind of sickly sweetness. It is a horror I will never forget. Now, not only am i IMMEDIATELY assaulted by the smell of actual rotting guts, but then I also have to endure the VIOLENT RETCHING of three men as they try to figure out what the fuck to do with this thing. OH, AND THEN THEY DECIDE IT’S FUNNY AND WHILE STILL GAGGING, START CHASING EACH OTHER AROUND WITH A DEAD RACCOON ON A PITCHFORK!!!!  I rolled up the windows, and silently prayed for death. And that’s after I spent 15 minutes screaming and gagging.
H: Hogwarts house - Gryffindor
I: In love - Hmm, that’s complicated. The honest truth - Not like I used to be. But that’s okay.
J: Jealous of people - Sometimes, for various reasons, but that’s human nature.
K: Killed someone - Not yet ;)
L: Love at first sight or should I walk by again - This is a question I love to answer! I don’t believe in LOVE at first sight, but I am a HUGE advocate of INFATUATION at first sight, which I think is a wonderful thing.
M: Middle name - Don’t laugh at me. Elsie’Mae
N: Number of Siblings - 4, but none of us have both of the same parents. (I.E. Half siblings and a foster brother)
O: One wish -My wish right now is to get my life back to where I want to be. I’m making progress, but it’s slow going.
P: Person you called last - My husband
Q: Question you’re always asked - Always “How old ARE you, anyway?” And it’s my favorite game to play. A coworker guessed that I was ‘19 or 20′ today ahahaha. I am usually placed between 18-24 by people who don’t know any better 
R: Reasons to smile - BTS BTS BTS BTS and of course my friends who love me always.
S: Song you sang last - I think it was Outro: Her because I was listening along with Multifacetedacg on Youtube during her first listen of the album today.
T: Time you woke up - 12:30PM ish... I hit the snooze oops.
U: Underwear color - Kind of a purpley ish color.
V: Vacation Destination - I want to go to New York always, I would love to hit up a Disney park again soon, and Germany to see my lovely @lumenardens and of course Korea for an adventure. All in my future plans.
W: Worst habit - Hmmm I have a lot of bad habits. I would say getting distracted by something when I’m in the middle of a project, or adding more and more projects to my list of stuff to do all the time lol. I’m never done ‘doing stuff’.
Y: Your favorite food - My mom’s potato soup, my mom’s pumpkin pie, apparently I’m a HUGE fan of jjajangmyeon, uhhh I really like tacos also. And I like watermelon SO MUCH. I have a lot of favorites lol.
Z: Zodiac sign - Pisces and you damn bet it fits me like a glove. I will tag @artificialskyway who i see all the time in my notifs, @j-hellnah @hajunice and any of my other beans who I love <333
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lady-divine-writes · 7 years
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Kurtbastian one-shot - “Live More Fear Less” (Rated PG13)
Moving on can be a bittersweet accomplishment - full of joy and excitement, but also sadness for the things left behind. A few days before leaving Westerville and moving on with their lives in Ithaca, both Kurt and Sebastian are saying goodbye to what they know ... and taking a step towards cementing their future together. (2329 words)
A/N: Okay, I'm writing a few things out of order, and I apologize. I just want to put stuff up after I write them so they're not sitting around forever. This is actually the first of two one-shots that would end the one-shots before the sequel, if that makes sense. But where's the actual story!?!? I know, I'm awful. But I loved this so much, and I wanted to reassure everyone that Kurt's mother especially stays ok. Also, I will explain later why Kurt and Seb wait this long for ... well you'll read it in the story. Please let me know what you think <3
Part 13 of Outside Edge
Read on AO3.
When Sebastian walks through the double doors of the Westerville Ice-plex, it’s going on seven-thirty. Behind him, the sun has begun to set. It’s been setting earlier and earlier these days. Being close to the end of summer, things are relatively quiet outside as families prepare for the inevitable start of school. This is the time of year that Sebastian loves the most, the air heavy with expectation, the world so full of possibility.
It’s a time that heralds the start of something, and for him, it’s always been something good.
He hadn’t necessarily been looking for his boyfriend when he took a break from packing to go for a sunset drive. He knows Kurt is spending some extra time with his parents before he and Sebastian head off to Cornell. Cornell has been Sebastian’s dream school since forever. Going there will give him the opportunity to continue playing hockey and, along with coaching Kurt, major in journalism as his fallback career. That way, he can become a sports commentator when his days on the ice are over – whenever that may be. He could also start a blog or write a book. The possibilities are endless.
Kurt, on the other hand, doesn’t necessarily want to attend college. He just wants to skate professionally and hang out with Sebastian. But between competing and training, he wants something to do, and besides, it would be nice to attend a school where kids don’t shove him into lockers and throw him into dumpsters.
Not that they do anymore. They haven’t in a long time, thanks to Kurt’s big win.
Still, starting over with a clean slate appealed to him.
Kurt applied to Cornell on a whim because he wanted to attend the same university as Sebastian, but he would have been happy attending a college nearby if that didn’t work out. But Sebastian had no doubt Kurt would make it. Not only are his grades exceptional despite the angst he suffered in high school, he’s among the skating elite. A household name. They would be idiots not to accept him.
So basically Kurt is attending an Ivy League school just because, and majoring in performing arts.
Kurt had imagined that, if he wasn’t a skater, he’d love to perform on the stage.
But when Sebastian drove by the rink, he saw Kurt’s SUV parked out front – only one of three cars in the parking lot. It’s after hours, so why Kurt would be there, Sebastian was all too curious. He parked beside Kurt’s Navigator, then he went inside.
He takes his time strolling through the lobby, perusing the things that have been such an important part of his life for over a decade. He looks at the trophy case packed full of awards and medals, and smiles, because a great deal of the accomplishments represented there have something to do with him and Kurt. It’s a symbol of their rivalry, their friendship, and their love. The story of their lives together sits in that trophy case, as well as the lives of everyone else they’ve touched – teams they’ve coached, students they’ve taught, the people who have taught and helped them. He looks at the plaques hanging in the back which list the team member rankings. He remembers when Hunter Clarington’s name was at the top of most of those, immovable and irremovable. But now, his name is nowhere to be seen.
Soon it will be the same way with Sebastian and Kurt, but not for the same reasons. For better ones. Hunter left Westerville Ice-plex on a downward spiral, but Kurt and Sebastian moved up and are finally moving out, leaving Westerville as winners, and making room for the winners to come.
Their photos, however, will hang in the lobby indefinitely – a benchmark to other figure skating and hockey hopefuls of what they can accomplish through hard work, dedication, and talent. Sebastian passes by them, hanging side by side. He blows Kurt’s picture a kiss before he heads to the South Rink, where Kurt will most likely be if he is here skating.
Sebastian does find him there, but he isn’t skating.
There’s one person on the ice, but it isn’t Kurt.
Kurt stands leaning against the open doorway to the rink, watching a single skater do laps around the ice.
“Hey, babe.” Sebastian slides up behind him and puts his arms around his waist. “You’re here late.”
“I rented out the rink for a few hours.” Kurt turns his head to kiss Sebastian’s cheek. “Well, actually, I tried to, but Mike said I could just have it till eight, seeing as it’s a Tuesday and nothing much is going on.”
“Whatcha doin’?” Sebastian nuzzles into Kurt’s neck. “Scopin’ out a hopeful?”
Kurt chuckles. “You might say that.”
They’d both been doing a lot of that lately, helping pick out the coaches and the teammates who would replace them. Kurt and Sebastian have dedicated a significant amount of their time to Westerville Ice-plex. Replacing them both meant finding new hockey coaches, new dance team coaches, new skating school teachers. It’s exciting to fill those spots and pass the baton, but it’s also bittersweet.
It’s a task they didn’t anticipate being this hard.
“So, who have we got, hmm?” Sebastian looks over Kurt’s shoulder at the person circling the rink. He squints past the black rollerblading helmet, the padded shorts, the bulky knee and elbow pads, the Cornell hoodie, and gasps. “Is that … your mom?”
“A-ha,” Kurt says with pride in his voice.
“But … she’s on hockey skates!”
“Yup.”
Sebastian watches in awe the woman who, less than a year ago, could barely stand, not to mention make her way around the rink without Kurt’s help, zip around the ice as if she had been born with blades on her feet.
“She’s incredible,” Sebastian says. “But why did she pick hockey skates? Wasn’t she a figure skater?”
“She was, but she says hockey skates help her feel the ice better.”
“Yeah, well, I’ll agree with that. Those look pretty pro,” Sebastian remarks when Elizabeth circles round again. “Did you sweet-talk someone at Bauer or something?”
Kurt shakes his head, snickering at his boyfriend’s teasing. “Carl in the pro shop was nice enough to give her those. He said that they’re display models and he can’t sell them, but …” Kurt lets the sentence dangle because they both know that’s not the case. With as popular as hockey is in their town, Carl could probably charge full price for them and get it. “He sharpened the blades, gave her a nice shallow hollow so they’d glide more like her figure skates. It took her a lap or two to get used to them, but after that …” Kurt doesn’t finish. He simply points to his mother leaning in to the next turn on the outside edge of her left blade and racing down the straightaway. “She told me that back in the day, her coach would put the figure skaters in hockey skates when they started relying too much on their toe picks.”
“Makes sense.” Sebastian smirks at the thought of half of their Synchro Skate team in hockey skates. They’d master them eventually, but that first hour or two of bitching and whining would be hilarious.
“But, also, when someone got seriously injured, like a broken leg, and they were too cautious on the ice, the coaches would put them in hockey skates to help them get over the fear.”
Sebastian’s brow pinches. “How would that help?”
“Well, being in hockey skates when you haven’t before is terrifying!” Kurt laughs, remembering his first time in hockey skates. But he was with Sebastian, in his boyfriend’s private rink. It was scary and exhilarating all at the same time. “But if you can skate your routine in them, you can do anything.” Kurt watches his mother take the next lap solely on her left foot and sighs. “I can’t believe how good she is, and that’s not all talent. You can have all of the talent in the world and never have the strength to let it show. But my mom … she’s the most fearless person I know.”
“And she raised a fearless son.”
“You can’t compare what I’ve been through to cancer.” Kurt slides his arms over Sebastian’s, running his palms over his boyfriend’s skin in search of comfort. “I mean, cancer trumps everything, especially the type my mom has---d.” Kurt waffles between has and had when he talks about his mom being in remission. It’s difficult for him to act like it’s a part of the past when it keeps cropping up unexpectedly. Cancer is the dark shadow in their lives. It won’t ever completely go away, and he’ll never be able to relax knowing that the scars of it still exist in his mother’s body.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t been through some shit. And you made it through smelling like roses, with everyone telling you you couldn’t.” Sebastian sighs. “E-even me.” Kurt leans back into Sebastian’s embrace. Apparently, Kurt’s not the only one in need of comfort. A lot of sins have been committed on this ice, many of them against Kurt. But a lot of atonement, too. It’s been a long time since Kurt’s forgiven Sebastian for the things his boyfriend did to him before they became boyfriends. Sebastian needs to learn how to forgive himself. “Don’t count yourself out, Kurt. That’s a big accomplishment. I’d call you fearless.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I am afraid.”
“Of what?”
“The future. Before I met you, before I went to that competition and won that gold medal, I had nothing to lose. When I looked into the future, all I saw was me working in my dad’s shop. No college, no career. That competition was literally my last shot, and I took it because I couldn’t get any lower. But now, I have everything – a college acceptance, an apartment of my own, a man that I love to share it with, a career in the sport of my dreams ...”
“And you deserve it. All of it.”
“But it’s too much to lose.”
“Don’t think of it like that,” Sebastian says.
“But it’s true. When you’re at the bottom, everyone says that there’s nowhere to go but up. But when you start getting the things you want, you have to keep climbing while you take those things with you. It just feels like the more you earn, the more you’re teetering on the edge of dropping everything and losing it all.”
“Well, then, instead of thinking of it as climbing a ladder, carrying all of the wonderful things in your life with you that you could drop at any second, think of it as foraging ahead, with everything in your life laid out before you. And if you misplace something or pass it by, there’s always a chance to turn around and get it back. Or find something different and better up ahead.”
Kurt gives Sebastian’s words a chance to sink in before he thinks of a way to react. He’d never thought of it that way before. He always pictured himself as being shoved down to the floor, the way he was so often in school when he was bullied. And when he was low, his plans were ways of going up, not forward. Walking straight ahead is much easier to do than climbing up. “Yeah. I think I like that better.”
“But no matter what, I’ll walk with you, as long as you want to, to see you through the rough spots,” Sebastian says, resting his chin on Kurt’s shoulder. “There’s a whole world of firsts waiting for you and me. Don’t be so afraid of losing something you have that you don’t take the time to enjoy it while you have it.”
Kurt watches his mother switch directions, taking the turn closest to them in reverse. He assumed she would wave at him, but she doesn’t – so focused on what she’s doing that it’s almost like he isn’t there. Her signature bright smile is absent from her face, but that doesn’t mean she’s not enjoying herself. It’s because she’s enjoying herself that she looks the way she does, thoroughly absorbed by this thing that she’s worked so hard at with not a single thought that it’s going to be pulled out from under her.
She’s blissfully lost in the moment.
He wants to be the same.
“Sebastian? Do you want to be with me?”
“Only forever.”
Kurt smiles. He can’t argue with that. “I mean, do you want to be with me … tonight?”
Kurt feels Sebastian swallow. He winds his fingers with Kurt’s and squeezes. “A-are you sure you’re ready? I mean, we haven’t talked about it for a couple of months,” he says, laying a kiss on Kurt’s shoulder.
“I am. I have been, I just … I didn’t know how I wanted to tell you.”
“Then yes,” Sebastian says in a softer voice. He places a second kiss over the first and rests his temple against it. “I do.”
“Okay. After I take my mom home, we’ll meet up at your house, if that’s alright.”
“That’s … that’s perfect. I’ll go home and get things ready,” Sebastian says, remembering that a great deal of the things in his room have been packed, a lot of boxes standing in the way of the door and his bed. He straightens to leave, but Kurt pulls his hands back around his waist.
“Don’t go yet,” he whispers. “Just … stand here with me a little while longer? I feel like we’ve stood here in this same spot a hundred times, but the moment I walk out the door, it’ll just bleed away. I don’t want to forget what this feels like.”
Sebastian holds Kurt tight in his arms. “I won’t do anything until you’re ready,” he says. “I promise.”
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justwordsonpages · 4 years
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I used to spend so much time wondering if you cared about me..
I used to spend so much time hoping one day you would.
I've known you half my life.
You were the first guy I ever dated, kissed, loved... You were, so many times, my first.
I remember everything so so vividly.
You were.. Shy. And quiet. And so sweet.. In middle school I would walk with you 2 blocks down the road to your house every time I saw you. Sometimes, you'd come sneak up behind me. Sometimes you would put your arm around me or pretend like you were attacking me. We'd walk super slowly, talking the whole way. Usually, and even to this day, you'd probably be disagreeing with something. We talked about everything.
We were friends. Sometimes I would see you during school. At the dances, I'd always look for you, secretly. Once I met J because she randomly sat next to me and just struck up a conversation, and you came and joined us and I basically stayed with you that night. I met your cousin at one of them. At another, I had left early because my mom and I were going to the high school to watch a play. I would be disappointed whenever you weren't there. Sometimes I'd be off with H, J, B, A, P, etc and wouldn't see you either.
It wasn't until my summer after 8th grade that you told me you liked me at all. We were so shy, we were still kids. You were slick with words then too.
We hungout sometimes alone, sometimes with others. D was usually with us. Things were great sometimes and awkward some others.
Once, you and D stopped by my grandmas house and asked if I could go with you guys, so I did, and we walked literally all the way across town to your dad's. It was fun. We joked and laughed and had a good time. We left to start heading back and it had started getting dark. We took the long way because I was avoiding my mom, I knew she would be mad. We kept walking. D joked that we should kiss. We hadn't kissed yet, ever. You had your arm around me. And I just remember always feeling so safe with you. Walking under the old bridge with spray paint and sharpie covered bricks, with the lights on. It was oddly romantic somehow. You were so nice to me that day.
There was a day when we were walking around and it just started raining. I've always loved that vibe.
We walking a stray dog we found one day.
Just so many memories.
Unfortunately we were not mature enough and it ended about 2 months later pretty awkwardly. We were too young and had too much to learn. After that, you went on to develop a very high sex drive and my dad died and I also had surgery. We did not speak at all, and I honestly thought that I would never see you again. I missed you, the whole time.
I saw you, one time in a parking lot after I got done in Kmart. I was with my mom, you were with D. My mom and I were pretty far away. I think you guys saw me, because right then as fast as you both could you ran to the car you were with.
Almost 2 years after we stopped speaking. It's late, I'm in my grandmas bathroom doing my hair, and my ipod lights up. It says your name and a "Hey".
First off..."Hey"?? Lol.
We talked. We became close again, and this time we hung out at perry farm. It was a super nice day in May I think, and it was nice to see you..
We had several small little encounters like that. Like when we'd sit on the playground and you'd just set your hand on my thigh and we would talk. And you would move it ever so slightly, and that would be all. You drove me fucking crazy.
Or when we would meet up at the elementary school to make out after hours. That got intemse sometimes, but it never went anywhere. I saw a different side of you then, but you were always still just a gentleman. Or when we'd show up near a creek under these railroad tracks and do the same thing.
When we would stand somewhere and hug for like 30 minutes straight without moving.
When we got older, and in high school sometimes I'd see you in the mornings or randomly. At one point I saw you alot either before or after school and sometimes your friends too. I loved it. I loved being near you.
And then you started talking to R and everything was different from then on. She didn't trust you around me. Started hating me and told you not to talk to me any more. For a long time, you didnt.. I hated it. Felt like I saw you with her every time I turned around. I wanted to be her more than anyone else in the world.
And then your grandma passed away.. And you texted me. You explained everything. Told me she didn't like you talking to me and how you didn't want to but you were trying to be a good boyfriend. You told me she's controlling. You told me about your grandma. You poured your heart out to me about it.. You told me you were sorry and I said that it was fine. Sometimes you would call me. Then a while later, R pretended to be pregnant and hurt you alot, I know that, and then you guys broke up and she moved to Texas. You started talking to me again.
I've heard about and had to picture you with so many women.
0nce in a period of us not talking, you called me while you were hanging out with N. We talked for 6 hours. We talked and laughed and you threw quarters at N. I was so happy after that phone call. There was late night phone calls here and there. We had to be sneaky.
Once we met up at BC to revisit the past and we were sitting by the garbage dumpsters. We were just hanging out and talking and I just looked over and you kissed me right then. I think that's the most spontaneous and unexpected kiss I've ever had. We started talking again after that day too. And all this happened through the years and I never slept with you. You always wanted me to, but I never wanted to just be "one of them".
When you lived behind the school we were walking once and a car rear ended someone else right in front of us. Perhaps that was the night that it was so super dark and suddenly you kissed me. I asked you what that was for and you said "closure".
Anything to do with you made my heart race. You were my best friend and I loved you so much all at once. I would do anything for you. And then life went on for a good while. We're so much better apart than together. During these times you hurt yourself over people who did not deserve to know you and it changed you.. A lot.
You absolutely love sex but it's as if no one's touched you.. Loved you.
You are so angry and jealous but so sweet and loving.
Everything is different. We hung out. And on this particular day, for the first time ever, you picked me up in a car you own. You dressed up for me and then actually admitted it. We went on a drive and smoked a blunt, and talked. Just like always. It was so nice. But I knew I still loved you..
I left my relationship for you.
So then we eventually did it.. We were together. We went on a walk one night, smoked, and listened to music. It was pretty cold that night. Eventually you tested those waters and grabbed my hand. And then the next thing I know, we're standing in a field in pitch black kissing each other. A lot.
You stayed at my house that night and I gave you head for the first time ever. You told me no one's ever been able to do that. I still don't believe you.
I've literally never met anyone and wanted them as bad as you. I had to go back to school after that weekend and I still hadn't slept with you. I was still nervous. I would stay at your house for a bit every now and then and we fell asleep. When you woke up you said "nobodys ever slept in my bed before" and I didn't believe that either.
I was at school 5 hours away from you when we began planning a trip to meet halfway. So we did.
We were intimate fairly fast.
Intimate in the one way we never had been. Passion is an understatement. Sex in your car, in a Walmart parking lot in a state neither of us lived in.
When we got done, an old man in his car was staring at us. So we parked my car and went to a nature preserve. It was beautiful and we had a great time. I took pictures. We smoked your dab pen. We almost had sex in the park. We went to the hotel and had the most passionate sex of my life. Like pressed-up-against-a-mirror passion.
The window, the mirror, the bed, the shower, his car, we couldn't get enough of each other. After all that we fell asleep, and in the middle of the night, we woke up and you made love to me. It was beautiful, and I will never forget it.
But now... Now something has happened to me. I told myself that I deserved to be happy for once and do something for me, and then I let myself have you. I let my enjoy hearing your every sign and moan. I let myself enjoy your reactions to my every move and teasing you. I let myself enjoy it when you wanted me so bad you were shaking. Your teeth chattered.. And yet you were still so nice to me. I let myself be the thing you needed and I hate myself because I don't regret it...
I don't regret you.
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dy1kjxxa-blog · 5 years
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