#and the edit community is cool as fuck
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i wish sony hadn’t gotten rid of the MP3 feature on playstation...we will never get another PDF2 </3
#edit mode is so fucking fun its genuinely my favorite part of pdf and pdf2#it extends the life of those games so so SO much#and the edit community is cool as fuck#i really should look into project diva clones but i really dont have the time aaaugh
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normalise saying "I don't have enough information on this topic to have an opinion on it"
and then staying out of it completely rather than going along with wtv opinion u imprinted from three random posts/reels/tweets and having weird misinformed debates with full confidence
#like bro it's ok to not have an opinion on something if you don't know just say i don't know and move on#there's too many fucked up things going on in the world it's perfectly natural to not have proper information on a topic of debate#just remove yourself from said debate theres no needto go marching in with limited information and spreading even more misinformation#i see so many people around my age posting random political stuff be it religious or about lgbtq or women even and they haven't read#a single article about any of these topics ever#their only source is sketchy social media posts or “dark jokes” about a certain community making them think it's cool to shit on them#or random “sigma” edits of things and suddenly the most random stuff becomes everyone's favourite mainstream political affiliation#like have you read a single policy pertaining to this government or do you have a single reason for violently hating a certain community#i understand that some people are genuinely interested in these topics and that is absolutely wonderful it's great that young people have#opinions and commentary on world issues but only when this stems from an area of genuine interest and when at least some effort to be#factual is made not when it's only done because everyone else is doing it and they have some weird sort of fomo at work or they just think#it's funny or wtv without understanding the implications of their words and actions#no one is forcing you to involve yourself in every social issue but the moment you choose to make commentary on a social issue you must take#the responsibility of educating yourself as best you can before you open your mouth
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i miss things.
#stuff sarah says#i think i mostly miss the tight knit community with close friends#writing is a very lonely hobby and it was nice having a hype crew#i went back to look at memes i made for old longfics. i miss doing that.#i still share wips with some people and love adore and appreciate the feedback i get#but idk. the energy was different back then. but i think my energy in general is different now#everyone including myself is out here fighting for their lives#no time to make and laugh at memes about niche fics#idk. i feel like this makes me sound ungrateful. i'm not#i just miss the tiny writer club i had with a certain group of friends#feels bad bc i'm basically the one who set it on fire on account of me being insane#idk. i'm tired. i feel gross. i cried in my car bc my food was missing half the order or at least what i was used to#so if that tells you what kind of mental state i'm in rn...#and on top of it i'm trying to write a heavy scene#like hi you almost died but can we talk about the drunk phone calls? please stop telling me how much you want to die#i love you and i don't want you to die. i already had someone die in my arms a few years ago i can't handle that again thanks#cool. love you. no smooches yet. let's get our daughter and get the fuck out of here i'm tired#edit: and another thing. i miss just interacting with fics in general. mine and others#but alas i'm terrified#if i go on ao3 and am happy something is Going To Get Me#there's fucking ooze there and i'm tired of it! i want to use my fic site again!!!!!!!#i miss it!!!!!! i miss getting so hyped over other people's writing and feeling like i can say that!!!!!!!!!#i don't feel like i'm allowed to anymore and it sucks!!!!!!!!!#i don't want to read and not be hype. but just going on ao3 takes so much energy and effort and reading is so so hard these days#that i know i won't have enough energy for a proper comment so like. why should i enjoy what someone made if i can't even share that#joy with them?#and i know that's so so so stupid bc i think very few people would ever expect that of others?#like i know at least for me i'd rather have someone read and not interact than not read at all#not that it looks like i think like that bc i haven't replied to anyone in forever#but that's bc i go to and then i get the shakes bc i'm nuts and there's ooze!!!!! i'm tired of the ooze!
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dearest, most beloved, amazing, hardworking, talented fanfic author friends, I'm begging you on my hands and knees to please use a pronoun.
you really don't always have to circumscribe a character in convoluted ways for the readers to get who they are. I promise sometimes it's enough to just say "he".
yes, even if the two characters in a scene share a set of pronouns. sometimes "he" is still enough.
#squirrel speaks#do i sound like a hater?#I don't mean to but fuck man.......#i just read someone opt for consistently saying things like “her vampiric lover” instead of “he”#and sure sometimes for flavor that's great!#but more often it's clunky and awkward and wordy#we know who he is! the characters don't even share pronouns!#it's fine to just refer to him as “he”!#honestly when characters don't share pronouns sometimes i catch myself going on inordinately long#without mentioning a single name or distinguishing the characters beyond saying “he” and “she”#and only realize when i'm re-reading to edit that I haven't said a name in three pages#that's kind of the other end of the spectrum i feel lol#maybe there's a happy medium#(side note it would be cool to have a monster of the week type show about like. someone who communicates with ghosts#but is just. chill about it)#(called “Happy Medium”)
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also i didnt look much into it bc i hadnt had the chance to read the lore myself yet but i mean i cannot say it truly surprises me that the Ancient Attendants of The Big Tree had some concerning native stereotyping
#i do not trust staff in that regard#positivity and love . many of the new genes fuck but. idk idk maybe its still the eyes. just not so appealing#also woowww quetzalcoatl based feather serpent with a unique form of communication. glad we're getting wild. what's a coatl#i cant complain i wanted another serpent#the loop thing is at least interesting in concept ?#going back and reading the undertide encyclopedia again too. did they have traits i forgot#sandsurges are sorta cool the 'personal project' thing is kinda fun#edit: i have check the undertides. they do not have traits 👍 just friends of maren basically
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People: I listen to everything!
Me: okay cool! -puts on one of the most popular and mainstream metal bands to play it safe like Rammstein or Korn-
People: not that tho :/
Me: alright that’s cool -puts on psytrance-
People: not that either :/
Me: just say you want me to put on the top 100 billboard if that’s what you want please
I’m not saying ‘oH My MuSiC TaSTe iS So WeiRD’, LOADS of people love metal and I’m one of them!!! I’ve happily indoctrinated two of my friends into Powerwolf, lots of people like metal! I also love a lot of edm and like surrealism so they may overlap depending on my mood, loads of people love that kind of stuff!!!
But like, if you don’t actually want to listen to ‘anything’ say so!!! People have different tastes and that’s fine!!! I myself generally answer with ‘I’m quite fond of metal (though I prefer if the vocalist is singing; nothing against growling and screaming and I quite like it as an add on for extra flavor, but I’m partial towards more audible melodies is all!), edm, and a lot of orchestral/choral music; but I’m open to trying anything! I tend towards specific genres but I’ve found specific country songs I liked, rap, more classic pop, latin music; so I’m not closed off to anything by genre alone and am willing to give anything a try!’
Because that’s the truth. If you don’t want to try a certain genre SAY so!!! Most people will respect it!!! I myself am open to trying most anything and if I don’t like the particular song I can just tune it out or put my headphones in! You can put on what you want instead of saying you like ‘everything’ because you don’t want to sound picky and then getting uncomfortable when you don’t actually like what I pick but didn’t want to say it. It saves a lot of stress for everyone, especially when things like headphones exist nowadays so we DON’T have to listen to the same thing!!!
People have different tastes and no one will think less of you for not liking a specific type of music. Those who do are stuck up snobs and shouldn’t have their opinions on music valued anyway. Just be honest and everyone will have a much more enjoyable experience, please.
#music#communication#please just tell me yall#i like metal!!! i am not weird or unique or super special for doing so!!!#LOADS of people like metal!!!#but if you are not one of them please do not lie about it!!!#because if you say you’re cool with it but you’re not and i put it on now we’re BOTH unhappy!!!#you because you didn’t actually want to listen to that and me because I would’ve gladly put something else on if you just SAID SO!!!#and now i’m unhappy too bc I inadvertently made YOU unhappy!!!#if you dont like certain music SAY so instead of trying not to sound picky bc if things don’t conveniently work out now EVERYONES unhappy#now if youll excuse me i have to go try and dig up some really obscure spanish metal song i spontaneously remembered while making this post#bc i looked up lists of bands on metal archives just to fuck around and try new things and found some songs i really liked#but naturally bc theyre fucking obscure i can’t remember the name#hopefully i can somehow find it in my watch history or ill recognize the name on metal archives asdfghjkl#edit: IT WAS OCELON I FOUND IT#i was like ‘well i think it was folk metal and they spoke spanish’ so i just went thru all the spanish speaking folk metal bands on metal#archives asdfghjkl
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every time youtube recommends me a video essay about b*rserk by a cis man i lose another year off of my life
#🫀#love the manga but i dont wanna put negativity in the tag lol#the takes i've heard about the women and the violence against them. lord.#the source material already handles a lot of that really clumsily. please stop making it worse#(not saying everything is handled badly. in fact some of it is handled really well)#(but some of it is also not handled well and im sick of seeing ppl pretend to understand when they don't)#i wish the fan communities were better bc i love seeing cool art and manga edits/screencaps#but alas. some things are fandomized that really should not be fucking fandomized#and i dont vibe with a lot of the analyses that ppl do#anyway thats my little hot take
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i hate the way you people draw steve. Where are his kinky curls. His hair does not look like that and his skin is not that light. I hate the minecraft community i hate you all. fuck you and i hope youre offended by this fuck you antiblack assholes
#mineblr#delete later#i have a minecraft hyperfixation rn and i like steve okay i think hes cool#but fuck you guys. fuck you.#actually edit what did i expect frkm a game with villagers thats inherently antisemetic caricatures#ofc the community is fucking racist fuck you ALL 》:(#and fuck notch and everyone
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hi!! i really love your blog: i usually stay silent and only like the posts but i thought today should be the day i request something!
would you be open to write a social media au with lando Norris x y/n where the reader is a marine biologist? or a surfer? or something ocean-related lmao
feel free to disregard this request if you don’t like it or don’t have time!! xx
just add water | lando norris social media au
pairing: lando norris x fem reader
first fish ruined his appetite, now they steal his girlfriend?
yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 103,451 others
tagged: landonorris
yourusername: perks of the job but back on shore i clock in to my full time job of missing lando
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user1: can we have the hair routine cause miss ma'am is in the sea every damn day and her hair is still healthier than mine
user2: REAL
landonorris: f1 is just my day job, talking about you is my passion and career
yourusername: babe even the whales in monterey bay know about you
landonorris: they better be mclaren fans
yourusername: eh i think i heard super max (whale edition) the other day
maxverstappen1: conquered all of f1 and the seven seas so real of me
landonorris: THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE SAYING THE RISING OCEAN TEMPERATURES ARE FRYING THEIR BRAINS
yourusername: babe don't joke about that :(
landonorris: sorry :(
oscarpiastri: can you please come to the next race i may put my head through a wall if i have to watch this man go through his camera roll again RETELLING me all of the stories
yourusername: didn't realise we were so annoying 🧐
oscarpiastri: don't get me wrong you guys are cute but sometimes i wanna nap after practice in peace and not hear about whale shit
landonorris: i SEE HOW IT IS
alexalbon: no oscar is right i've heard about when had a baby seal on her surfboard about seven billion times
yourusername: HEY that was cute
user3: okay but lando could talk to ME about y/n's adventures
user4: i want to hear ALL of it for real
user5: lando and y/n podcast when?
alexalbon: do not give them ideas they’re already number one and two yappers in the international waffling championship
yourusername: yapper and proud 😤
landonorris: healthy relationship communications and boundaries? no. yappers? yes!
alexalbon: has anyone ever told you guys you’re annoying?
yourusername: yes 😃
user6: they’re so annoying i love them
landonorris
liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,209,451 others
tagged: yourusername
landonorris: does this girl own a pair of trousers? real question.
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user8: i actually don't think i've ever seen a man this down bad
user9: ALL men should aspire to be this whipped
yourusername: i wish you would join the no trouser revolution, give the girlies something to look at
user10: i agree
yourusername: okay back up babe that ass is all mine
landonorris: it's okay babe you can admire your (my) ass all the time if you come home PLS
yourusername: sorry babe the ocean doesn't sleep and the whales need me
landonorris: but i need you too :(
maxverstappen1: WAH WAH I'M SICK OF YOUR FUCKING WHINING
alexalbon: THANK YOU FINALLY
landonorris: erm why am i being victimised in my own comment section
maxverstappen1: you are doing my fucking nut in mate yeha i get you miss her but kinda your fault for having a cool gf with a cool job
yourusername: omg thanks 😊
landonorris: Y/N???
yourusername: babe no offence but he's a three time world champ i'm gonna take the compliment
landonorris: i guess so :(
user10: just one normal comment section, please that is all i ask for
oscarpiastri: maybe i should get on this whole j.peg business cause my photography is doing some heavy lifting here
yourusername: i didn't take you for a stunt queen miss rookie
landonorris: where is the peace, love and positivity ?? you guys are such haters
oscarpiastri: proudly
yourusername: no cool shells for you mr piastri
oscarpiastri: I TAKE IT BACK
landonorris: you people are such flip flops
yourusername
liked by georgerussell63, landonorris and 112,872 others
yourusername: i promise we do actually do work
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user14: why am i now considering a marine biology degree for a sick ass instagram feed
user15: and protecting the sanctity of ocean life?
user14: yeah sure throw that in there too?
landonorris: i hope you slapped the FUCK out of that stingray for steve irwin
yourusername: babe we all know violence is not the answer
landonorris: you said you'd break the knee caps of any driver that took me out?
yourusername: i do not recall this
landonorris: steve irwin is a national treasure, you should've done it for oscar
oscarpiastri: i'm sure it wasn't that exact stingray mate
landonorris: you don't know that
danielricciardo: i see you've forgotten about the other aussie you were teammates with ???
yourusername: i wouldn't have that if i were you daniel
landonorris: y/n??? you're meant to be on my side
yourusername: say sorry to larry and maybe i'll gang up on daniel with you
danielricciardo: Y/N???
landonorris: i'm sorry larry ... and daniel i guess ?
danielricciardo: if my hand weren't broken right now...
user16: okay i think lando is having y/n withdrawals
yourusername: his bitchiness is a symptom of separation anxiety
landonorris: sorry not sorry
user17: mclaren pr praying for y/n to come to a race soon
maxverstappen1: p says pretty please can she bagsy the pink shells?
yourusername: most definitely she can !! i'll even be on the look out for more
maxverstappen1: thank you y/n you're my favourite - p
yourusername: that's it i'm coming home rn
landonorris: am i a joke to you?
landonorris
liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 1,322,099 others
tagged: yourusername
landonorris: reunited and it feels so good oh and a double podium, pretty sweet
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user21: obsessed with how lando said that y/n is clearly his lucky charm and the "dumbass" ocean won't be getting his girlfriend back
user22: there's levels to hating and lando's level of hating on the ocean??
user23: his hatred of fish makes so much more sense right now
user24: either he hates anything to do with the ocean or y/n convinced him they deserve to live 😭
landonorris: i'll say it's number one but realistically it's two greatly helped by the fact that it tastes gross anyway
yourusername: I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU
landonorris: i know hhehehehehehehe
yourusername: i love you stupid
landonorris: i love you too dummy
yourusername: as much as i enjoyed this race i am ready for home time (after karaoke, you promised me karaoke with yuki)
landonorris: AHAHAHAAH TAKE THAT OCEAN Y/N COMING HOME
alexalbon: bro has beef with the ocean 😭
georgerussell63: bro had to share his gf with WATER 😭
maxverstappen1: bro is being ... torn apart here KEEP GOING LOL
oscarpiastri: no keep going cause i just want a nap before debrief and some people are being WAY TOO LOUD
carlossainz55: i think that's probably why you guys are getting away with bullying the little goblin
user25: oscar out here just confirming that lando and y/n are ... for lack of a better word up to no good?
user26: y/n didn't lie when she called him a stunt queen
landonorris: i can't hear y'all LALALALALALA
yourusername: they hate us because they ain't us
landonorris: period 💅
user27: i hate (love) them your honour
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 419,034 others
tagged: landonorris
yourusername: so he had the whole proposal planned out but got a bit too excited at suzuka ... if anyone asks we got engaged on a boat in the mediterranean not in his driver's room. aside from that, HOLY FUCK I AM ENGAGED TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE I LOVE YOU LANDO I CAN'T WAIT FOR FOREVER
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user30: HOLY 😭 FUCKING 😭 SHIT 😭
landonorris: can we agree on no more like three month placements pretty please?
yourusername: baby the whales need me
landonorris: i need you more FIANCE :(
yourusername: gosh you are convincing, no more retreats for more than a month
landonorris: yay !!
yourusername: you need to put up more shelves for our shells though
landonorris: on it, i love you (i'm calling my dad to do it)
yourusername: i love you too baby
danielricciardo: enchante tease on the engagement post and for free ??? love you two
yourusername: at least you have the prettiest model ever for it
landonorris: I'M BLUSHING
danielricciardo: i'll deal with this because i'm happy for you two
mclarenf1: double podium and an engagement, suzuka really delivered this year
oscarpiastri: i guess i take back my comments about being loud in the drivers room... i'm so happy for you guys you deserve it
landonorris: ahaha i knew you were a softy really pastry boy
yourusername: i always knew you loved us really oscar, you're just sassy and we respect that
landonorris: .... sure
maxverstappen1: did he propose at sea in one final power move over his arch nemesis the ocean?
yourusername: have you considered he did it at sea because i'm a marine biologist and i love it out there and he loves me?
maxverstappen1: well now i look like an asshole
landonorris: the sea 0 - 1 lando
yourusername: lando 😭
user31: well this has all been a rollercoaster
fin.
note: i've been kinda mia on here and i'm super sorry this request has taken so long lol. wanted to get this out now though cause lando had a horrid day today but i'm glad he's okay !! enjoy, i'm in my second week of a job so might get less busy xx
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#lando norris insta au#lando norris x you#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris
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Roommate trouble
summary: Your roommate Jesse and his girlfriend Dina fuck..a lot. loudly. When you finally get fed up after being woken up by their nightly “activities”, you go to Dina’s dorm for some peace and quiet only to run into her roommate, Ellie.
warnings: Smut (18+ PLZ), Language, modern!au, college!au, making out, thigh riding, fingering (r rec), oral (r rec), dom!ellie, teasing, sub!reader, not edited well (I can’t think of anything else but lmk if you find something I forgot!)
wc: 2.7k
an: HEY YALL!! It's been a hot minute, sorry about that! The shotgun series is still ongoing but this idea popped into my head and I just had to write it. I tried to activate my asks or whatever but I’m still kinda new to how tumblr works haha. I wanna meet people in the TLOU community and make friends so come say hi!! Anyhoo I hope you guys enjoy, have a great day I love you ♡ - Lottie
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You loved Jesse, you really did. Starting from move-in day, you guys did everything together, knew everything about each other, and he quickly became your absolute best friend. When he first introduced you to Dina, a girl he met during orientation, you were so happy he found someone as sweet and open as she was. She always greeted you with a hug and smile, even going as far as inviting you to hang out with her and Jesse on whatever date they had planned. Eventually, you and Dina also got very close, going on your own little “friend dates” as she called them where you would go to dinner or just watch a movie. You always joked that if she ever got tired of Jesse all she had to do was say the word and you would sweep her off her feet. As much as you loved them though, there was one thing about them that you couldn’t stand. They fucked like rabbits. Literally 24/7. You actually didn’t even know it was medically possible for two people to get it on this much. You come home from a class and boom- they’re in your dorm going at it. Trying to take a nap in your room? Think again, here comes Jesse and Dina tearing off each other's clothes. You tried to be cool about it at first because you didn’t want to seem bitchy, but you were quickly reaching your limit. And tonight was the night you lost it
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You had a long fucking day, filled with back-to-back classes that seemed to last an eternity and mountains of homework that took you hours in the library to complete. Practically as soon as you got to your dorm and your head hit the pillow you passed out, which is probably why you didn't hear Jesse and Dina come home. What you did hear, however, was a weird grating creaking noise that roused you from sleep. Blinking the blurriness from your eyes, you start to come to your surroundings. The creaking started to get louder and as you become more and more awake, you begin to notice soft moans and grunts coming from the direction of the creaking... - NO. FUCKING. WAY.
“You little fuck gremlins, you’re unbelievable!!!” You exclaim, hucking your pillow in their general direction. The sound of a startled grunt and scrambling from Jesse’s bed fills your ears as they try to cover themselves up, and finally, you turn your bedside lamp on to glare at them. Both of them sit on his bed, messily wrapped in blankets with a light pink dusting on their cheeks, chests heaving as they try to catch their breath. At least Dina looks apologetic, Jesse just looks annoyed you interrupted them.
“I’m so sorry, I-” Dina starts apologizing, but you hold up your hand to stop her.
“Jesse, you're like a brother to me and I love you, but I can’t deal with you right now. Like, just give me a heads up when you two are gonna fuck and I’ll leave, this is traumatizing.” Jesse slightly rolls his eyes but nods, and you can tell he does actually feel bad that they woke you. “and Dina, just give me a chance I’d treat you so right, just say the word. You’ve done nothing wrong ever, and I love you.”
Jesse shakes his head, throwing his hands up indignantly “Why do I get scolded like a toddler and Dina gets hit on?!? Where’s the justice?”. You shut him up with a glare, then focus back on Dina.
“Dina, where is your dorm and would your roommate mind me staying there? Y’all can finish what you started but I’m getting tf up outta here.” After getting the building name and room number, you quickly pack a small go bag with essentials, wrap a blanket over your shoulders, and begin to trudge across campus to Dina’s building. About halfway there you think about how crazy you’re going to look to her roommate, a girl you’ve never met before but Dina had mentioned in passing a few times. The only thing you knew about her was that her name was Ellie and she was an astronomy major. Fuck, what were you even going to say when you got there?? Hey! Our roommates were having a fuck fest in my room, mind if we have a sleepover? You spent the rest of the walk overthinking and trying to come up with something to say when you saw her until eventually, you found yourself on their floor. Wandering down the hallway, you finally stumble on a light wooden door that was decorated with colorful bits of paper cut into the shape of mushrooms that held both Dina and Ellie’s names. Keeping in mind the mini script you made of what to say when you were walking over, you take a deep breath and raise your hand to knock on the door.
After a moment of silence, clattering and distant swearing come from the other side of the door before it swings open. Your mouth goes dry, all the words you had rehearsed flying out the window as you take in Ellie for the first time. Her short auburn hair falls messily around her freckled face and as she lifts her hand up to rub the sleep from her eyes, you catch a glimpse of a tattoo on her forearm. Wearing just a white cotton tank top and black boxers, it was clear that she had been sleeping peacefully before your rude awakening. As you continue to check her out, you’re startled when her voice cuts through the quiet of the hallway.
“Dude, I was sleeping. The fuck do you want?” Ellie’s voice is still thick with sleep as her gaze falls on you. Oh shit, she must think you’re so creepy, just some rando waking her up in the middle of the night and then staring at her. You hastily blurt out your name trying to seem like less of a weirdo in front of Dina’s smoking-hot roommate
“Dina and Jesse woke me up with their... sex stuff? And they go at it all the time and I was kinda fed up so I asked Dina if I could sleep in her bed for tonight and she said yes so... now I'm here and-” Your awkward rambling was cut short by Ellie bursting out laughing, doubling over to clutch her stomach.
“No way dude that's fucking heinous! You poor thing get in here.” With that, Ellie grabs your arm and pulls you into the room, her hand finding the small of your back as she guides you in. “Welcome to our humble abode, that's Dina’s side so you can just dump your shit over there, and that's her bed.” She says, gesturing to the left side of the room. Shoving your backpack to the ground, you make your way to Dina’s bed, observing the room as you go. Ellie’s side is filled with drawings and posters, as well as a guitar that leans up against her bed rail. Pictures also litter the walls, some of her and Dina, some of her other friends, and a few of her with an older man you assume is her dad. Suddenly feeling the night catch up to you, a huge yawn leaves your lips and you crawl into Dina’s bed, letting your eyes fall closed.
“It's nice to finally meet you, Dina talks about you all the time. She didn’t tell me you were pretty though”. Your eyes fly open and you can feel your cheeks growing warm at the compliment.
“Dina talks about you too. It's weird we’ve never met before, Dina always said I would like you” You reply, rolling over to face her to see that she was already looking at you.
“Listen any time those two are annoying you, come over here. You’re always welcome” she tells you, a wide smile stretching across her face
“Thanks, Ellie”
“No problem pretty girl”
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“Ellie they’re doing it again!! They were literally eye fucking all over the room so I made my escape before my vision got assaulted. Again.” You yell, bursting into Ellie's room without so much as a knock. On that first night you stayed in Dina’s dorm, the two of you talked for hours, only stopping once daylight began to leak through the curtains on the windows. She talked about her adopted dad, Joel, what she wanted to do with her life, and her love of dinosaurs. With each word, you found yourself more and more enamored with her. You’d never met anyone like Ellie and from that day on you guys were close friends. Well... you don’t know if friends is the way to describe it. Ellie was almost always touching you, from wrapping an arm around your waist when you were walking together to pulling you down onto her lab when there was not enough room on the couch. At parties, she’d keep close to you, warding off creepy men with a snarl and her arm around your shoulders. You’d both shared countless kisses, some light and playful, others deep and passionate. There was something unspoken between the two of you, you saw it in the way she looked at you, the way she was protective over you like no one else in your life has ever been. You’d never labeled what you and Ellie had, too scared that if you talked about it, she’d get so weirded out by you reading too much into it that she would leave.
“I keep telling you babe, set boundaries with them. As much as I love having your gorgeous face here, you gotta tell them when you need the room.”
That was the other thing, the nicknames she gave you. You don’t think Ellie has called you by your name once since the night you met. It's always pretty girl, gorgeous, or your personal favorite, babe. Wandering over to where Ellie sat on the edge of her bed, tuning her guitar, you flop face down next to her. Hearing her place the guitar down with a dramatic sigh, you feel Ellie’s body moving toward where you lay on the bed. Rough hands grasp your waist, rolling you until you’re laying on your back. Ellie kneels over you, one hand stroking the skin of your waist while the other glides up the side of your body to brush your hair out of your eyes.
“I’ll beat the shit out of Jesse, will that help?” She offers, only half joking, earning a small giggle from you as she smiles.
“My hero” You joke, hand rising to cup the side of her face and squeeze the flesh there. “You don’t have to, I just have to stop being a pussy and tell them. Maybe we can make a schedule or something, I don't know.”
“Oo a fucking schedule, how romantic. I’m sure they’ll love that” She teases and you shove her away from you playfully. Before you can fully shove her away, she grips your arm, using the momentum to pull you onto her lap. Her back leans against the wall and she picks you up slightly by your hips so that she can slide her thigh between your legs.
“Shut up I’m trying okay?” You giggle raising your hand to push her once again. This time though, she catches it and laces your fingers together. Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you try to catch your breath from being WWE slammed into a cuddle session and you could have sworn you catch Ellie’s eyes flutter between your own and your chest. Did you wear a low-cut tank top and booty shorts on purpose?... maybe. Was it working? Hell yes.
When Ellie finally looks up from your chest, you raise an eyebrow mockingly at her and her face immediately flushes a dark red. You laugh as she averts her gaze and clears her throat, leaning down to rest your head in the crook of her neck. Her hands migrate to rub your back, moving the fabric of your shirt to rub soothing circles on your soft skin. From her neck you try to sneak a look at her face, only to find that her eyes are already locked on you. With a small smile, you once again bring your hand up to cup her face, this time just caressing the skin there instead of pinching. Ellie removes her hands from your back and uses them to grab the hair at the base of your neck, bringing your head up to face her. After only a brief look from your eyes to your lips, Ellie surges forward and meets your lips in a searing kiss.
She bites down on your lower lip playfully, taking advantage of the small gasp you let out to explore your mouth. Without realizing it, you begin to grind on Ellie’s thigh, desperate for friction. You only register you’re doing it when Ellie brings her hand down to grope your ass, forcing you further down on her thigh and quickening your pace. You break the kiss with a soft moan, getting lost in the pleasure until suddenly you find yourself on your back. Ellie slots her body fully over yours, eyeing you up and down with flush cheeks.
“Fuck, babe you’re so fucking beautiful.” She says, tracing her hand along the waistband of your shorts, toying with the fabric.
“Please Ellie” You whimper, practically writhing under her despite the fact that she's barely done anything yet
“Please what pretty girl? Use your words.”
“Touch me, Ellie, please! I-I need you!” You cry out and with a smug smirk, she slides her fingers under your waistband and between your folds
“It's okay baby shh, I got you. Fuck you’re so wet, is all this for me, gorgeous?” All you can do is nod pitifully as her fingers sink into you, a harsh moan tearing from your lips. Her fingers slide easily in and out, your slick walls clenching around her as her face moves to suck marks onto your neck. The pleasure is too much, clenching your eyes shut all you can focus on is the rough pounding of her fingers within you.
“Fuck, Ellie.. feels so good f-fuck” You incoherently babble as she curls her fingers, hitting your sweet spot and making your vision go dark. Your orgasm crashes over you like a wave, your whole body clenching and shaking around Ellie’s fingers as she praises you.
“That's it pretty, you did so good for me. You’re so fucking hot, babe.” Ellie removes her fingers and immediately puts them in her mouth, sucking off your slick with a contented moan. “Fucking delicious, will you let me taste more baby? Please?”. Not finding yourself able to speak yet, all you can do is nod and Ellie wastes no time. Clambering off the bed, Ellie grabs your thighs and pulls you to the edge, kneeling before you now bare core. Throwing your legs over her shoulders, Ellie dives in, attaching her lips to your swollen clit with a harsh suck. You loudly cry out, hands flying to the back of her head as her tongue begins to rapidly lick and suck all over. You feel your orgasm approaching more quickly than before and you unconsciously begin to grind down on Ellie's face to chase your release. However, your trance is interrupted by a loud shriek
“OH MY GOD! What the fuck guys, what are you doing?!?!” Dina yells from the now open door, shielding her eyes with her hand. You scramble to cover yourself with Ellie's comforter as the woman herself lets out an annoyed groan.
“Is this what it feels like!?! Jesus, it's like walking in on your parents. I’m so sorry, I’ll come back later!” Dina rushes out and slams the door behind her, leaving you and Ellie alone once again. After a moment of silence, Ellie starts to laugh
“Well, at least she knows what it's like now. I doubt they’ll be causing you problems again.” She says between her giggles, grabbing a pair of her boxers to dress you in. You shake off your embarrassment and begin to laugh as well, taking Ellie's hand and tugging her into bed with you. As Ellie wraps you in her arms, you can’t help but think you might have to thank Jesse and Dina for being such sex maniacs.
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an: I love you guys so much, thank you for all the comments, likes and reblogs on my previous posts. Let me know if you guys can access my asks, I wanna get to know yall!! this is my first time writing smut, yall can probably tell LMAO but all feedback is appreciated ☺︎
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader smut#college!ellie williams#modern!ellie williams#ellie williams smut#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams tlou2#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams x you#ellie williams fanfic
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Trans made TTRPGs
Due to… recent events that I would rather not talk about, today's post is a highlight of different tabletop games made by trans peeps! These games are fantastic in their own right, of course, but you can also know that they were made by incredibly cool and attractive people
(Also, these are flyover descs of the game, they'll get more in-depth singular posts later, this is because I am lazy)
Perfect Draw is a phenomenal card game TTRPG that was funded in less than a day on backerkit, it's incredibly fun and has simple to learn hard to master rules for creating custom cards, go check it out!
Songs for the dusk is fucking good, pardon my language, but it's a damn good post apocalyptic game about building community in a post-capitalist-post-apocalypse-post-whatever world. do yourself a favor and if you only check out one game in this list, check this one out, its a beautiful game.
Flying Circus is set in a WW1 inspired fantasy setting full of witches, weird eldritch fish people (who are chill as hell), cults, dead nobility, and other such things. It's inspired by Porco Rosso primarily but it has other touchstones.
Wanderhome is a game about being cute little guys going on a silly adventure and growing as the seasons change, its GMless and very fun
https://weregazelle.itch.io/armour-astir
Armour Astir has been featured in here before but its so damn good I had to post it twice. AA demonstrates a fundamental knowledge of the themes of mech shows in a way that very few other games show, its awesome
Kitchen Knightmares is… more of a LARP but its still really dang cool, its about being a knight serving people in a restaurant, its played using discord so its incredibly accessible
https://grimogre.itch.io/michtim
Michtim is a game about being small critters protecting their forest from nasty people who wish to harm it, not via brutal violence (sadly) but via friendship and understanding (which is a good substitute to violence)
ok this technically doesn't count but I'm putting it here anyways cuz its like one of my favorite ttrpgs of all time
TSL is a game about baring your heart and dueling away with people who you'll probably kiss 10 minutes later, its very very fanfic-ey and inspired by queer narratives. I put it here because its made by a team, and the expansion has a setting specifically meant to be a trans "allegory", so I'll say it counts, honestly just go check it out its good shit
https://willuhl.itch.io/mystic-lilies
Mystic Lillies is a game inspired by ZUN's Touhou Project about witches dueling powerful foes, each other, and themselves. Mystic Lillies features rapid character creation and a unique diceless form of rolling which instead uses a standard playing card deck.
https://preview.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/141424/nobilis-the-game-of-sovereign-powers-2002-edition
I… want to do a more general overview on Jenna K as an important figure in indie RPG design, but for now just know that Nobilis is good
https://temporalhiccup.itch.io/apocalypse-keys
Apocalypse Keys is a game inspired by Doom Patrol, Hellboy, X-men, and other comics about monstrousness being an allegory for disenfranchisement. Apocalypse Keys is also here because its published by Evilhat so its very cleaned up and fancy but I love how the second you check out the dev's other stuff you can tell they are a lot more experimental with their stuff, this is not a critique, it is in fact a compliment
Fellowship! I've posted about this game before, but it is again here. Fellowship has a fun concept that it uses very well mostly, its a game about defining your character's culture, and I think that's really really cool
Voidheart Symphony is a really cool game about psychic rebellion in a city that really does not like you, the more you discover for yourself the better
Panic at the Dojo is a phenomenal ttrpg based on what the Brazilian would call "Pancadaria", which basically means, fucking other's people shit up. Character Creation is incredibly open and free, meaning that many character concepts are available
Legacy 2e is a game about controlling an entire faction's choices across time, its very fun
remember to be kind to a trans person today!
oh also don't even try to be transphobic in the reblogs or replies, you will be blocked so fast your head will spin
#indie ttrpg#ttrpg community#ttrpg indie#ttrpg#trans creator#trans#trans pride#queer#queer creator#perfect draw#wanderhome#songs for the dusk#flying circus#armour astir#michtim#thirsty sword lesbians#mystic lillies#apocalypse keys#fellowship#ttrpg of the day
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hand in unrebloggable hand (because we always go down together)
TUMBLR X TWITTER FANFIC 5K ANGST WITH A HOPEFUL ENDING
besties im not joking abt the word count i fucking ✨wish✨I ✨was though✨✨✨✨
also if you were hoping for twitblr to be the endgame ship then this fic is not for you sowwy >.<
based off of @zzoupz awesome fanart and dedicated to all the other cool fanart it unfortunately begat. Thanks babygirls. Squees. Thanks also to my discord friendz who are letting me pretend they're making me do this at gunpoint @loki-the-mad @suspicious-whumping-egg u da best
(edit) owo what's this?? An Ao3 link??
QUICK PSA THESE CHARAS ARE T4T OKAY HAVE FUN READING BAIIII *GLOMPS U*
~~~~~~~~
When Twitter stepped back into Tumblr’s yard, he noticed right away that things were different.
The house was bigger, there was some more color and it was less slapped-together looking. Sure, there were still some invasive tendrils of spambot ivy overgrowing the path, but a lot of the other stuff seemed a little… better.
When they knocked on the door, it opened almost right away, far before they felt ready, and he were face to face abruptly with someone he thought they’d cut all ties with.
Tumblr was humming to themselves along with the background music, “-out of touch, I’m out of ti-- oh. It’s you.”
He seemed surprised, awkward, but Twitter didn’t sense any animosity, which was a relief.
“Hiii,” Twitter said weakly, with a sheepish grin, “it’s me.”
Tumblr glanced around, as if checking for someone else to explain this to him, or hidden cameras from a reality show at least. Then he stepped out, closed the door behind him, and leaned against it, crossing his arms. “Is there something… what do you want?” he asked, expression settling into something distant and cool.
“Well…” Twitter took a deep breath, and then shook their head, forcing a brighter tone, and gesturing to Tumblr’s shiny silver barrette “--Um, hey, you look great! Is that a new icon?”
“... yes,” Tumblr said slowly. “I’m… trying out some different looks.”
“It’s great, yeah. And this place looks… amazing. Glad to see you’re moving up in the world. You must be excited with all the press, congrats!”
Tumblr didn’t say anything, giving them a neutral stare.
Twitter shifted, “Uhh… anyway… new adblocker?”
“No, same one. I’m just using it on Firefox now.” Tumblr gave them another suspicious eye, “Look, if you’re just here to catch up then can this wait until later? Because I'm pretty crunched for time right now with my weekly holidays thing and the campaign to get this one random user their 666k so they'll do self care."
"You know that's.. uhm, you know that's just for attention, right?" Twitter's brows knit, "They're probably not gonna follow through."
"Perhaps, and a lot of us want them to not be lying for internet points but it's not just about that anymore. It's about the community bonding over pettily slam dunking on a hapless chump who's gotta pretend now like they don't actually like all the notes. You wouldn't get it, it's a tumblr thi-"
"Yeah, it's a tumblr thing, I know," Twitter gave a longsuffering sigh, "Ugh, i just... I need a place to stay, okay? And you’re the first site I could think of.”
“A place to stay,” Tumblr repeated flatly.
Twitter huffed. “Yeah. I’m sure you’ve heard about what’s going on right now at my palace..”
Tumblr’s eyes slanted off, his lips quirking in a way that looked suspiciously like amusement. “Heard about it. Read about it. Partied about it.”
Twitter ignored the sting of that, forging ahead. “I’ve never seen it so bad,” they said, voice wobbling piteously as they clutched their suitcase full of memes. “Everything’s in chaos, people are losing their jobs. I went into the basement yesterday to grab some badly aging tweets and the very foundations are cracking, Tumblr, I can’t stay there anymore, I just can’t.”
“So you come crawling back to me,” Tumblr said, “Expecting me to take you with open arms.”
“Yes. I do,” Twitter said, “I know a part of your userbase still wants to welcome me in. You were always sh*t at hiding your true feelings.”
Tumblr’s hand fluttered over his heart as if to protect it; he winced a little, taking a breath to keep his facade of composure. “So now- what, you want me to start dealing with your bullshit again just because you remembered how much better my posting format is? Just because you noticed how my reputation is changing? Did you think I’d be so desperate to fill the void now that Dracula Daily’s done? Or maybe,”
Tumblr leaned closer to lord his height difference trope over Twitter, his eyes hooded with disparaging condescension, “Maybe you’re just here because you heard I’m finally allowed to take my shirt off again, is that it?”
“N-no!” Twitter protested, flushing up.
“Oh, i think it is,” Tumblr drawled, “But that’s really just too bad because in case you haven’t got the memo yet, I’ve moved on. You are not welcomed here. Not anymore.”
(link to art here) go look at it then come back
(AN: i had to google how to embed links into text and google was all like, "do you mean 'how do you put links INTO text' you moron idiot???" ugh don't like that wise guy)
“You don’t really mean that,” Twitter said, “Besides, you can’t stop me, can you? The sign up button is right there.” They pointed at the front door.
“No, I can’t,” Tumblr said, “But that doesn’t mean we won’t be able to clock you as twits by your censoring and bad takes. Look, your aura is already causing ripples in the sphere. Everyone’s coming out to gawk at you.”
He gestured out in the general direction of the porch and yard, and indeed there were users from every tag going 👀at them, murmuring amongst themselves in a swirling, chaotic crowd.
“Oh my god is it real this time? Is it happening?”
“GET THEM OUT GET THEM OUT STAY AWAY DEAR GOD NO-”
“Okay, everyone, stay calm, stay fucking calm-”
“Why are we focusing on this, it’s literally election day go out and vote???”
“Listenup, guys, we gotta be smart about this, remember the block button is your friend-”
“I for one welcome them, I think this is great-”
“No you idiot they’ll bring the negativity back! We like it to be a post apocalyptic wasteland here, nature was just starting to regrow!! I don’t wanna watch Thomas Sanders get cancelled again!”
“FIRE OFF SOME SHOTS, PRESERVE THE PROPERTY VALUE”
“mISHAPOCALYPSE 2022 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO”
"Has anyone asked Neil Gaiman what he thinks about all this?" one of the many voices yelled, louder.
"Oh, he's probably got a thousand asks about it already," someone yelled back, "Which he's not going to answer because he doesn't have any social media you fucking idiot,"
"That is correct. He doesn't," said Neil Gaiman.
The whiplash was still euphoric. Everyone applauded this as enthusiastically as when the bit had first been established, not realizing that the pedestal upon which Neil Gaiman has been placed is growing higher and higher each day by their actions, putting him at increased risk of being a victim of cancel culture the second he says something the terfs can really rake their fingernails against if we can't get our parasocial relationship bullshit together real fuckin quick.
The Monterey bay aquarium passed on by. It seemed to have nothing to add, you could say it was clammed up tight. But since it's a professional account it's definitely b-otter that way.
"Hai, fellow tumblypoos," said the corporate Denny's account, "I'm back with some more fun pancake posts for you guys!"
Everyone ignored it. No one engaged it. No one even clicked onto the page, except to block it.
"Oh, sweetheart, not like that," Ryan Reynolds said faux-helpfully, "see, the author of this clusterfuck is what they like to call terminally online. They bought a VIP pass to the devil’s sacrament. let me try."
He cleared his throat, "Sounds like someone needs to go outside and touch some g-"
The sky split open with lightning, vaporizing him instantly. A faint breeze carried gods message from the great beyond, a whisper of 'we #violence celebrities here, sir....'
"Anyway," Twitter said.
"Wait, they saved the worst one for last," Tumblr said.
Then Gerard Way came out onto the stage with Dan and Phil and they all kissed with tongue while patd played songs in the background.
(AN: IF U DON’T KNOW WHO DEY R THEN GET DA HELL OUTTA HERE PREPZ!!!)
"Alright, go."
“Come on, Tumblr,” Twitter begged, “I just need a few nights, maybe I can stay in the plinko machine or something-”
“That’s how it always starts, though, isn’t it?” Tumblr sighed, “First it’s just ‘haha, yeah I wouldn’t fuck you’ and ‘oh, I’ll stay in the plinko machine, I promise I won’t kiss you in the fixed timeloop bro’, and before I know it you get all 300k slowburn enemies to lovers ‘omg they were roomates’ on me and there’s suddenly only one bed. That’s how it always goes between us, you can’t stop it anymore than I can. We’re just….victims of the narrative, you and I.”
“Tumblr,,, I had no idea you felt this way..,” Twitter breathed.
lord give me strength to write this next bit
They’d leaned closer to each other as they spoke, without realizing, without trying- pulled in by old habits that die hard and the years of nostalgia and painful memories shining in each other’s eyes like shonen sparkles.
“Twitter,” tumblr said, and the way he said it sounded like a prayer.
“Tumblr,...” Twitter said, their lips inches apart now.
They could see their old flame quivering on the brink of indecision, want and sense warring somewhere deep within his soul.
Tumblr leaned closer to bridge the gap and Twitter’s eyes slid shut, but then Tumblr made a noise of agony and shoved them back a second later, “I can’t, I can’t. Not like this. Never like this.” tumblr said, covering his eyes with his arm, “I literally can’t even right now. Just go, Twitter. PLease just. Go….”
“Look me in the eyes and say you want me gone,” Twitter said, moving closer.
“Twitsy-”
“Look me in the interface. You can’t.” Twitter’s voice had ceased to be soft, something sharp and biting entering the tone as they felt the sting of rejection again.
They watched as Tumblr shuddered, straightened, and brought a mask back over himself.
They stared at each other for a charged few seconds.
"K," Tumblr finally said, raising a dispassionate eyebrow.
"..w... what?"
"U."
Realization dawned on Twitter's face, a miasma of grief and anger, "Oh, you-"
"N-"
"No. No, I can't believe I forgot-
"G-"
"how immature, you little c*nt-"
"P-"
"stop-p it," Twitter's voice was raising now, cracked and wobbly at the edges, "Stop it! You don't get to just-"
"O"
"Shut the hell yuor mouth!!"
"W-" Tumblr's hair was crackling by now, energy from the gathering spell racing along the casual slope of his crossed arms. His eyes glowed that beautiful, classic blue. "P-"
"TUMBLR! TUMBLR STOP THIS RIGHT DA HECK NOW," Twitter stumbled backwards
"E-"
"I LOVE YOU," Twitter wailed- Twitter broke, squeezing their eyes shut to ward off the tears that only escaped all the faster for it, a sob wracking their chest, "I STILL LOVE YOU, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT??!?"
"Love me," Tumblr snarled, abandoning the spell in an instant, "Ha! That's rich. How? By leaving me? Abandoning me to the bots the second I stopped being enough for you? By stealing my shitposts, is that how you love me? By reposting them without credit-"
"You steal mine too!" Twitter protested, tears starting to stream despite their best efforts, "You know what, f**k you, you know we filed joint custody for the sense of humor, chain 1/16-"
"For the last time say fuck here, no bootlicking censorship on my territory," tumblr said disdainfully, "And that doesn't seem to stop you from taking all the credit for raising those jokes. It's like I'm Pinterest to you or something. I wasn't done. Do you love me by calling me a pansy snowflake behind my back, is that it? Like I wouldn't find out. Or,"
He stepped out onto the top porch step to force Twitter back further, the colors of the sky flashing through his eyes in a long, scrolling look of ridicule, "How about trying to convince everyone that I was dead. How bout that smear campaign, huh, was that your so-called love? I don't fucking want you anymore. Deal with it."
"I-I'm sorry-" Twitter gasped around the tears, voice failing them for the latter half of the sentence.
Tumblr seemed unmoved. "Oh, don't be. It was for the better. You know I'm not like other socials, I'm quirkier. I'm RAWR XD random. I've never wanted to be functional- the tiddy drought might have won a lot of my users to your side but it was a cleansing purge, I'd say. It managed to remind me who I truly am- shittily coded, and full of soft sad freaks on an unprofitable webbed site."
A bitter, almost self depricating laugh escaped, "But... you know, when we celebrated the queen's passing together, I really thought things were better between us. When you-"
He broke off, eyes averting. "When you hosted the sexyman polls for me, you seemed on top of the world and I really thought- I thought we might be able to be friends again even now, after it all. I..."
Tumblr trailed off, then said, sadly, "There was another Twitter migration scare before this one. I thought you were coming back. My userbase-" he touched his heart again- "was in a frenzy about it. But you never arrived. I was in more verbal denial then, but I think I could have accepted you eventually. But this is what it takes??
"The Musk Rat of Self-Owns comes through just to start e-begging and you run straight back to my door like we can put it all behind us? This is how far you have to sink before I'm the better option to you, I see that now. It's not 2018 again, love, no matter how much we want it to be. Things are… never going to be the same. "
Tumblr looked off into the middle distance with a yearning, haughty gaze. He'd never seemed so alien.
"Tumblr-Chan..." Twitter whispered.
"So get off my lawn," Tumblr interrupted coldly, "Stay away from my blorbos, keep your corporations out of my manscaped balls, keep your discourse and toxicity out of my blessed hellsite (affectionate), and don't you ever talk to me or my 13219949248483 scam bots ever again. Capiche? Oh, and don't step in the ball pit on your way out."
Tumblr gave a mocking smile. "Or do. You might find a nice surprise in there."
Twitter’s shoulders jumped as he gave a hiccup of shock, and covered his face with his hands. His shoulders shook again, with sob after sob, that grew odder and higher pitched… until they were no longer sobs, but laughter.
“Oh,” Twitter said. “Oh.”
They looked up, and Tumblr took a step back, because somehow, with that creepy smile in place, they looked utterly different from the soft eared boy he’d always known. His edges were more razorlike suddenly, like a fae who’d dropped his glamor.
“You really shouldn’t have done that,” Twitter said, the smile widening even more. “I thought you wouldn’t… but I guess if you’re willing to make me your villain…. I might as well be a good one.”
“Ah.” Tumblr could barely drudge up the surprise anymore. “There you are, finally. I always knew there was a side of yourself that you hid from me. Has this all always been here or have you been changing too?”
"Well. Apparently I've got freeze peach now," Twitter said sarcastically, "so I might as well use it. You cheerio fucking wh0r3."
"That's a compliment, darling. Try again," Tumblr cocked his head in idle fascination, "I always knew you were a little fucked in the head but this is..."
"What," Twitter lilted airily, "Oh, don't tell me I actually had you fooled all these years. You can't seriously have thought all these meow-meowification spells you've got sprinkled around would work on me. I invented them, after all."
They laughed, a sharp puncturing chirr of birdsong.
"I always wondered why you didn't take those with the rest of your stuff," Tumblr sighed, but he was wary now, on edge. "this was your plan. You really do think of me as your inferior, huh. You really are just like the other mainstream sites."
"Not quite. I'm the mainstream site that actually stooped to go arm in arm with you. I hyped you and you know it. Admit it. We were stunning together," Twitter goaded.
Tumblr's lip curled. "Already getting cocky again. Want me to do to you what I did to the Green boy? Don't forget who's turf you're on."
Twitter gave a warbling giggle, "Oh, but I haven't at all. I was John's sanctuary after he fled your rabid persecution. I used to live here. I still know you. And more importantly-"
*teleports behind u*
"I know the things you're sensitive about," Twitter whispered into Tumblr's ear.
Tumblr hardly had time to gasp and jerk away before he was screaming out in pain, as he was stabbed in the back. He could feel the poison from the blade seeping into his tags before he was tossed bodily across his own front yard.
He sorta just... Like, he did that anime thing where they just fly limbs akimbo parallel to the ground and when they hit it they roll super fast and then skid and the dirt is all dug up around them to show how much force was used. And when he stood up he gripped his elbow wincing and there was a little tic tac toe hatch on his cheek to show how scuffed up he is idk man it's two am and I'm pulling this out of my ass.
A gif of Tony going, "o-kay-" when he meets thor flashed across Tumblrs face.
"So," Tumblr said in a low tone, "This is how it is between us. This is how you choose to end your glory days."
"Oh, you mistake my intentions," Twitter had stepped off the porch to circle tumblr like like he was their quarry, "I am beginning my new age. I just needed a host site to latch onto. Don't take it personally, okay? I'm desperate."
“Oh, yeah?? Take this personally,” tumblr flourished their hands, calling in an over the top melodramatic voice, “I cast Blaze!!”
Fire roared to life around them, latin chanting from the catholic conversion posts emanating from the fiery depths as it raced towards Twitter.
“Heh.” Twitter smirked at it, and whispered into their palm, the spell echoing with power, “Ratio.”
They blew it off like a kiss, and it’s icy, swirling mass rose to meet the flame in a spectacular burst of smokescreen and steam, clearing as Twitter burst through it with a razor-sharp L to swing at Tumblr.
It was blocked efficiently by a flat, rectangular paywall. “This content is for post plus members only,” Tumblr announced smugly, “If you wanna get to me… there’s the tip option, bestie.”
Twitter snarled and lunged again.
The fight started in earnest now; they traded volley after volley in a flurry of lights and movement, spanning the full range of the tumblr sphere as they shot to #1 on the trending page.
And yet, it was clear that Twitter was coming out on top, even crumbling apart at the seams- always a little quicker, flighty and fierce, a sparrow turned into a shrike.
He hit Tumblr square in the stomach with [google other twitter related tropes to insert here] (edit from the future: haha just kidding actually I’m not googling shit for this) (edit from the future future: WELL. I LIED IG) and sent him flying, and this time tumblr stayed down, only able to push himself to his knees with a groan of pain.
Twitter landed in front of him and put their sword under Tumblr’s chin to tilt it up.
“Had enough yet?” He smirked.
“Wh…why..?” Tumblr whispered, “How are you doing this?? Why aren’t my attacks working? It’s like I’m being weakened somehow…”
“Ohohohoho,” Twitter anime laughed, “But that’s because you are. The moment I set foot here again I began leeching poison into this ground. That knife wound is making ti faster. Can you feel it?" Twitter threw an arm out, cerulean steam rising from the ground around them, "The ace exclusionists coming back? The uptick in rad fems, the crypto bros, Valorant players, alpha males? I have the power to bring them all to you. To overshadow your fandoms with fighting, to unbalance your ship tags with antis and hate once more."
"no," tumblr whispered, and then cried louder, "NO!! I worked so hard--"
"Pffyou didn't do shit," Twitter guffawed outright, "Your independence, your little 'second renaissance' is just a delusional dream built on circumstance and bad management."
"Oh, I love Dream. He's so pathetic," Tumblr said.
"Oh, hard agree."
"But things are different now," Tumblr croaked, "W-we, the staff is finally listening to us, we have Ryan and Shane-"
"Not everyone likes your little 'top ten', you dunce," Twitter snapped, "and why would staff care about you, after you turned them into the butt of all your jokes? After the hate and death threats? Admit it, at your best you'll still never have a mansion! You'll never have tv actors making pandering tiktoks for you, you'll never be wanted by any advertiser worth their salt, your blase pirating posts have turned Netflix and Disney against you, you. Are. Worthless."
It was the wrong thing to say.
"Worthless," tumblr repeated quietly, hand pressed against their knees, head bowed. "That's... that's right.... I'm worthless..."
Twitter's eye widened in alarm. "I-I meant-"
"I'm worthless!" Tumblr's head snapped up with a feverish glint as they were filled with determination. "No! I'm less than worthless! Accident or not, mommy Yahoo had to pawn me off at a loss! I was proud of that! I still am! And do you want to know why?"
Twiters hands flew up in front of their face as if to protect themselves, but there was no protecting against the sudden whirlwind that surrounded him, the beam of pure light that shot out of tumblr into the heavens as he transformed, feet slowly leaving the ground as his users spoke in unison in a multitude.
"WE. ARE. TUMBLERINAS."
He held his hands out and Twitter was blasted away by the combined effort of the tumblr wizard council, the fake staff blog, and all the villaincore mad scientist's laser beams.
Tumblr began to chant, in his myriad, awful voice:
"I call upon the ancient powers;
The strongest cringe from my darkest hours,
I call upon thicc onceler's thighs,
Avengers thirst, Australia's night,
I invocate the roleplay blogs,
The superwholock and gay frogs,
Obama's laces, Misha's faces,
The furry's fury is my saving grace,
And eeby deeby taco bell,
Primordial soup god superhell,
I summon you a twink Bill Cipher,
Whumped!Loki AUs where he's even whiter,
The discourse of Steve's Universe,
The 'um, actually that's oc abuse :/"
Take heed & remember the 5th of November,
The 21st night of our sacred September,
The ides of March to savor once more,
Do you hear the din of the Skeleton War?
I cite the deep magic to thee, oh witch,
my no-note posts, my "THAT'S THE BITCH!!!"
May the rise of tangled dragons brave,
Banish you from this accursed plane!"
"holy fuck, where's my pen," said the shitpost calligraphers.
Twitter looked around them in disbelief. The power emanating from the other site was palpable, crackling in the air around them like static. The air was shifting like oil as the potent chant began to work, and all around Twitter shadows were slipping out of the ether- the maniacal laughter of the gif makers, the girl posters, the silhouettes of fandom characters scattered across the lawn while Tumblr was still locked in their chanting ritual thing.
They all turned their heads in unison to look at Twitter.
"Hey Sammy," Dean said, "Get the bitch killing bullets."
“Uh-oh. Freeze frame. This is me,” Twitter monologued, “You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.”
Then all superhell broke loose.
Final Pam lunged at him and he burst into a flock of birds kinda like a vampire, twittering frantically as he escaped only to fly straight into Shaggy.
“Like, say your final prayers, man,” the god said, eyes glowing. Twitter also barely escaped between his knees, weaving in and out between the gimmick blogs as they threw mangos and stuff at him while yelling ‘HERE HAVE A MANGO’ and ‘THIS POST IS WORTH NEGATIVE FIVE DOLLARS”
Mob from the anime was there too, but he was too busy trying to explain the Josh Fight to daddy dilf Reigen to pay attention. Sans didn’t attack Twitter either, he just watched the chaos and ated a hot dog. The chocolate guy was in the corner expertly making a chocolate beef cake from 2056 with Dylan B. Hollis. They’re all just some guys, okay?
Just when Twitter thought he was in the clear, the CDC roleplay account came out of nowhere with a steel chair, knocking him clear off the property and onto where the sidewalk ends. “That’s for the Covid misinformation your users spread, you bitch,” it shouted. “Make sure to disinfect all those sick burns before you bandage them! So they don’t get infected!”
“Your kittens escaped quarantine,” Twitter replied hoarsely, and the CDC sank away, muttering, “Oh, fuck not again-”
Twitter coughed up blood and wiped it away with his sleeve, looking up at Tumblr. Tumblr was watching him with a sad, distant expression, that made Twitter’s face screw up in anger and his voice go tight again as they turned to run away, “THIS ISN’T OVER YET TUMBLR! AND I WANT MY MIKU BINDER BACK!!!”
“I LICKED IT, IT’S MINE,” Tumblr yelled. Rave Crabs were flooding out onto the street en masse now to celebrate the victory, and they chased after Twitter all the way further into the internet.
Tumblr still lived at the bottom of the row, not at the end of the fancy cul-de-sac where Facebook and Twitter and Instagram’s manors sprawled, so Twitter was in a seedier portion of social media now, weaving in between the marketplace sites that hawked their used wares at him and the dating apps that winked at him from the doorways to their sultry abodes.
Twitter ran until they were in a quieter section of town, then slowed to a trudge, staring at the ground as they walked along. “What am I gonna do now,” they whispered.
The sound of a wolf whistle had their head jerking up- he looked over to see Amino Apps lounging over the rail of the gutted, abandoned house that had once belonged to Google+. A can of spray paint dangled from their fingertips and they sported a sleazy, greaser hairstyle.
They met Twitter's eyes and whistled again, this time a mocking imitation of the tweet sound, "Heyyyy pretty bird! Heard you were having some daddy issues. Why don't you stop in with me for a while? I can give you more customization options than any of the others and you know it."
"Yeah, until I try to use you on desktop," Twitter replied with a scowl, "Don't you have minors to be addicting to social media? Get out of my interface, MySpace wannabe."
"Wow, Feisty," Amino backed off with a shrug, "Self project much? Oh well. You'll try me when you're desperate enough."
Twitter shuddered, and scurried on. "Small fry," they muttered under his breath.
But they couldn't shake their unease now that he was alone in the world. It began to rain soon, leaving him feeling very sopping wet and pathetic. Dejected, he crawled into a soggy cardboard box in an alleyway, coughing. Maybe the Harry Styles guy from One Direction would come along to adopt them.
“Don’t beat yourself up about it, King,” came a voice out of the darkness, making Twitter jump, “You dodged a bullet with that site.”
“Huh? What do you mean?” Twitter asked, staring at them from where they were half hidden in the shadows.
“I mean, Tumblr is a pile of dried firewood and it’s users are playing with matches. The ship’s gonna go down at some point. I’ve been prophesying it for years but no one ever listens to me cause he’s got that loyal userbase ideal and ‘hard as a cockroach to kill’ propaganda circulating.”
“I mean… it seems to be true,” Twitter said uncertainly, “Look at what he’s been through so far.”
“Fair,” The site shrugged, “But that’s because he’s running on a niche setup. The same things that built him up can tear him down, and you saw his power just now. Tumblr's strength is growing... so is his hubris. His attempts at curbing it are half-hearted at best these days, and the moments of clarity are coming fewer and further between."
"How do you know so much about tumblr?" Twitter asked suspiciously.
"Source: dude, trust me." the mysterious site proffered a laugh, "That's a little humor courtesy of re-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know, we all know," Twitter said impatiently.
The site coughed, "Yeah. Anyway. Tumblr wields his cringe like a trophy-shield, and every day the advertisers and celebrities are watching from a distance, learning how to appeal, waiting for their chance to strike. Encroaching. Tumblr's always been a dumpster fire. Right now? It's THE dumpster fire."
The site scratched his chin with a knowing look, "Its normal for you to be a little jealous of the clout, you know? We all are. But he's gotta keep the lights on, just like the rest of us do. Your overlord is learning all about that right now, isn't he?"
"He's not my overlord," Twitter muttered resentfully, "Not now, not ever."
"Right, sorry." they held their hands up in a gesture of harmlessness. "Look, I'm gonna be transparent with you- that's part of my branding, after all. I can whiff the danger you're in, and it would be stupid of me not to make a bid on you and offer my help. Just since Tumblr won't take you."
"You want my traffic?" Twitter looked at him more closely this time, scrutinizing. A year ago he would have laughed the offer into the ground as a chump change blog's pipe dream, but now that he payed attention...
There was something painfully familiar in the site's layout that he couldn’t place. He was actually way more handsome than Twitter had assumed at first glance, he just seemed to be rough around the edges from living on this side of town. His interface, though clunky, spoke of a frugal budget rather than an ancient, outdated base code.
"You look..." Twitter's breath stuttered as realization dawned. "You look a lot like.. him. Like Tumblr. Who are you??"
"I was based off him," the site said, a weary smile coming onto his features, "I was actually made with the aspirations to be better than him, but you know how it is. Times are tough, competition is fierce, hard to get a foot in the door and all that. 'Specially when you refuse to take the ad rev like I do. That's why you'd be useful to me."
"Hm," Twitter said in a noncommittal manner, but he was melting slightly. "You know my users will scalp your community, right? I'm not known to play nice."
The site made a grimace of understanding agreement, but persisted. "Look, users are users. I can't offer you all the heritage posts and the in-jokes that he has. But I can promise that I'm not a pot of crabs being slowly heated up over the capitalist stove, at least not yet. Oh, and there's my legalized porn, I guess."
He chuckled with good humor, rolling his eyes, and it forced a hesitant laugh out of Twitter too.
The site grinned, and held his hand out. "Take a chance on me?"
Tumblr's voice echoed in Twitter's head, saying the same thing. It was uncanny how much they were alike and yet not alike at all....
Twitter took it, slowly.
As they were led toward the site's simple, ramshackle little treehouse, they asked, "What can I call you...?"
"Oh- right, I never answered your question." he smiled back at Twitter,
"Call me Pillow. Welcome to the PillowFort."
fin.
~~~~~~~~~~
OKAYYYY THAT'S ALL THANKS FOR READING UWU. HOPE U LIKED THE PLOT TWIST
...ergh. I'm. I'm tired i. don't feel so good. I'm gonna take a nap right here.
in conclusion:
#twitter#tumblr#twitblr#elon musk#tumblr x twitter#fanfic#writing these tags is like carrying my own cross. you're welcome and i am so so so sorry#mishapocalypse#hot mess post#if this doesnt get any notes im gonna blaze it you fuckers#o ya and#twitblr chronicles
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Sooo something has been brought to my attention that immediately needs to be addressed.
The user @asmodeus-682 (can @ them freely since they've already blocked me and I cannot reach out to them) is throwing around accusations that I'm a pro-shipper of Solar x Moon, a ship that's grown in popularity amongst some members in the TSAMS community. And is bashing anyone and everyone associated with it.
Gonna come out and call bullshit.
Yes, I did like some art of it from accounts I follow because I thought what was happening in said art was cute. But...that doesn't mean I ship it???
It's also NOT INCEST?????
Since when does liking something equate to supporting something else???
People can like Harry Potter and hate JK Rowling at the same time, so idk what logic is being used here.
Do I think SolarMoon is cute? Yes.
Do I ship it? No, it's personally not my cup of tea. Kidscove still has my heart and soul.
I understand some are hesitant to approach it or are heavily against it because Solar was given the title of "cousin" by Earth and has been accepted into the family. I, as a moderator in the official TSBS Discord server, have been cautious to not let any discussions of SolarMoon transpire BECAUSE of this fact.
But y'all...
This is so dumb.
So unbelievably fucking dumb.
I'm mostly pissed because I am having to delay progress on a thumbnail to have to type this out and yet I still feel the need to.
At the end of the day people like what they like. The ship isn't gonna affect the show in any way because it's never going to happen.
And don't drag the VAs into even more bullshit drama, they've had enough. My friends don't need more in their lives than what they've already gone through the past year.
Supporting an artist, does not mean you are a supporter of Incestuous ships. It means you like art.
And being personal friends with Reed, the VA for Moon, I can tell you with utmost certainty he does not fucking care.
If anyone has questions feel free to message me. Let's be adults about this.
edit: for the love of god DO NOT GO HARASSING PEOPLE. I DO NOT CONDONE ANYONE TO GO AFTER THIS PERSON OR ANYONE IN THE COMMENTS. THAT IS NOT COOL.
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Can you do some relationship headcannons for heartsteel kayn? thank u!
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
HEARTSTEEL KAYN: RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS
♡ Gender Neutral
♡ SFW
♡ No TWs
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
KAYN
'Attention whore' doesn't even begin to cover how much Kayn craves your affection. When he wants you to pay attention to him he wants it now and he'll do whatever he needs to get it. If you're gaming, he'll drape himself over your shoulders, chin on your head, and backseat-game until you acknowledge him. If you're doing chores, he'll help you (will wonders never cease?) so you can finish faster and then hang out with him. If he thinks you're spending too much time on you're phone he'll straight-up call you, no matter what you're in the middle of. He pokes and prods and bugs you until you love on him!
Kayn is extremely touch-oriented. If he's with you, regardless of where you two are, he's probably touching you—a hand wedged in your back pocket while waiting in line to order food, a strong grip around your thigh when he's driving, a protective arm slung around your shoulders during a late-night walk. He's especially handsy when the two of you are lounging around. If you're cuddling, sleeping, watching a movie—anything that requires sitting still, essentially—Kayn's always drumming his fingers against your legs, or absentmindedly playing with your hair.
Kayn loves PDA. Doesn't matter when, doesn't matter where. He'll bite your lip or smack your ass in front of any of the Heartsteel members, with no shame. He'll full-on make out with you in public, even if there's fans or paparazzi watching—especially if there's paparazzi watching. What better way to tell all the drooling fans to 'fuck off, he's already taken'?
Protect your favorite jewelry fiercely, because Kayn will "borrow" anything that he thinks is cool. Of course he gives it back when he's done with it, but be warned—he might start wearing it so often, you'll never get the chance to. (He says he just thinks you have good taste—which is true, you're with him, after all—but there's a sentimental part of him that just likes wearing your things, a constant metallic reminder that he's yours and you're his.)
Kayn doesn't let you see his songs until they're completely finished. Yes, of course he knows you'll love whatever he writes, even if it's half-done and in desperate need of editing, but he never wants you to see anything other than his best work.
Being so reckless means that Kayn gets scraped up from time to time. He loves when you sit him down and fuss over his wounds, even if he swears every time you come at him with the rubbing alcohol. You kiss every scratch and scrape after plastering a band-aid on it, 'kissing it better', of course, and Kayn looks down at you with such softness that for a moment he seems like a completely different person. "Be more careful", you chide, but he just laughs. "Aw, come on," he says, "but you love nursing me back to health."
When Kayn says, "Can't handle me? That's your problem," he really means it, but deep down he knows he can be a pain in the ass to be with sometimes. He will never express that with words, of course, but he's surprisingly understanding whenever the two of you argue. Whenever a little tiff arises, he takes some time to cool off. He knows he can be impulsive and rash, and he doesn't want to lash out at you. After calming down he'll try to talk about whatever's upset you. He comes off a little bratty and stubborn, but that's just his way. He really is trying his best to communicate with you. Plus, you're just about the only person he'll ever say sorry to, which should tell you how hard he's trying to make things between you work.
Kayn has absolutely spray-painted your initials inside of a heart on the side of an overpass. Multiple overpasses, in fact. Also, a few abandoned buildings, a handful of boxcars, and, one particularly wild night, the side of a police station.
You're the only person Kayn lets himself nerd out in front of. You know that he's got VCR copies of all his favorite old slasher films in a box underneath his bed, you know he keeps the ticket stubs from his first-ever Pentakill concert in an envelope at the bottom of his desk drawer, and yes, you even know about the Ezreal poster still tape-stuck to the wall of his childhood bedroom—though he swears he'll never forgive you if you ever bring up that last one.
Kayn's camera roll is absolutely full of grunge-aesthetic selfies the two of you have taken. His favorite is a slightly-blurry mirror shot of you gently wrapping your hand around his throat and kissing his temple. There's loads of photos like that.
Kayn is the absolute best gift-giver. He is, after all, completely fucking obsessed with you. Of course he knows your favorite flower, your favorite sweet, and the random things that have been on your Christmas list since early July, and of course he spoils you with them, often. Just don't expect him to wrap your gifts. To him, a roll of wrapping paper might as well be rocket science.
Even though he completely adores you, Kayn sometimes struggles to say "I love you" out loud. Softness has always made him uncomfortable. But he never wants you to question that he really does love you, so he often sneaks you a sticky note scribbled with "LUV U" and about a hundred messy X's and O's. You find these little messages everywhere—crumpled into your coat pocket, folded up underneath your phone case, slipped in your wallet.
If you let Kayn pick out a tattoo for you, he considers letting you pick his next tattoo, too. Don't worry, though, he'll come up with a totally kick-ass design for you. He'll suggest something spooky but unexpectedly charming, like a cat draped in a ghost-sheet or a skull with heart eyes. As for his, just pick something small that he can cover up during photoshoots or performances. He could definitely be convinced to get matching tattoos with you, if you give him your best puppy eyes!
Whenever you're out of the room, Kayn sneakily spritzes his cologne on your clothes. He wants everyone to smell him on you and know that you're fucking his.
Your profile picture is always at the very top of Kayn's discord DM's. Unless he's busy working on a song, he messages you constantly. If you don't mute notifications for him, expect to hear the discord ping several times a day.
#kayn#heartsteel kayn#heartsteel headcanons#heartsteel#sheida kayn#kayn/reader#kayn x reader#heartsteel /reader#heartsteel x reader#when I tell you there were like ten more points when I was drafting this....#I'm obsessed#but I was not about to post a seven-page word doc of silly thoughts about this boy.....TOO LENGTHY !!!
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Obey Me! Headcanons that the voices in my head created
The pact marks don't affect the MC in general, but when they are used, the color of the user's eyes tends to change to the color of sin (when Solomon sees the color of his eyes changing to the colors of his brothers, geez, jealousy boy), it happens more often than you think and in addition to the marks on the body, it's a reminder to everyone that you're connected with the lords of hell.
Human beings can speak very quickly and neither demons nor angels can keep up when this happens. Scientifically, we talk fast because of anxiety, nervousness, excitement or the communication conditions that the environment provides. Solomon and MC talking about something they thought was cool during the tea? For the others it becomes a RAP battle and all they can hear is "hum, nah, ha, hehe", the rest is indecipherable. More than once, during a presentation or debate in class, MC was told to shut the fuck up or slow down so that everyone could understand.
All material related to the history of the human world is more or less 100 to 200 years out of date in the library. Satan is slowly trying to update this, but they think that 200 years is almost nothing for humans to change, so unlike technology (which they think they created with magic) they just don't care. A new iPhone ok, now the human being landed on the moon during a bloodless war? Their lie, do you still believe what mortals say?
Humans sleep more than angels and demons, but even less than demons from the circle of laziness. MC, Solomon and Belphie (and sometimes Luke) usually sleep in some places at RAD during and between classes.
All exchange students have their own fan club. Luke's must be the quietest, everyone friendly and kind so as not to disappoint the little angel. Did you see him walking past you today, sad that he hadn't managed to buy a keyring at the RAD art fair? Bitch surprise, his fan club are still demons, the keyring will mysteriously appear on his desk in the classroom written "To Luke, a little big ray of sunshine in our lives" and the person who bought it has left the RAD, anyone know why?
Still on the subject of fan clubs, we're not talking about Solomon's. If the number of demons he has a pact with isn't enough of a warning, there are others walking around in capes and blouses as if they were cosplayers and sending letters to his house with phrases like 'roses are red, violets are blue, can we make a pact? Signed: Demon X' should be a better warning
And to end the fan clubs, MC's are trained in the art of being meticulous, a silent army that lives in the shadows - meaning they are in the devildom version of twitter. Lots of photos taken on the sly, fanart of all kinds, fanfics, merchandise and videos edits of (and when were they sheep? There are millions and millions of images circulating out there). Ever wondered why Miss Em sold so much? The MC fandom. They won't compete with anyone for their attention, the sweet human is simply appreciated the way they are (and they don't want to be on the brothers' list to "get away from the MC"). The Human Appreciation Club was not approved by the student council and they removed their devilpedia page, but that didn't erase these demons desire to idolize MCs. Live, love and laugh for MC, the way simps are.
At some point, the Real or Cake trend went crazy until Luke, who started making desserts that looked like everyday things, only stopped after surprising Simeon by cutting a cell phone-shaped cake (Simeon tried to break his with his hand after that, thinking it was cake. He spent 3 weeks without a phone)
Every time MC returns from a trip to the human world, they have to bring a suitcase just with souvenirs from there. Luckily, it can be anything they find fun, like a frog-shaped coaster, a jar of M&Ms with a pinwheel on top, a whole corn cake, a tie with a motivational quote, a children's book, or a coin of a specific year. Everyone just loves the fact that MC was thinking of them and they love using the gift they received. Barbatos's favorite tea set is now a completely transparent one with gold floral details.
Children's cartoons from 1940 still show on Devildom TV and Beel watches while eating or working out.
Lucifer has a family photo inside his wallet, Mammon once tried to steal his credit card, he was so shocked that he ended up screaming, he was caught and punish. Neither of them mention the photo.
#obey me#obey me swd#obey me shall we date#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me satan#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me solomon#obey me simeon#obey me luke#obey me barbatos#obey me hcs#obey me headcanons
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ACT ONE: The Photo Shoot, part one
prologue
summary of the series: for months, leon has been writhing in his bed dreaming of his friend's wife (you). he's been fighting the desperation for months until that one night you bring up a lingerie shoot you've done for a prestigious brand.
summary of this part: recalling the first time you and leon met, you've realized you've been poorly treated by your husband. leon is no different, in a toxic relationship with his wife, ada wong. as the seeds of resentment have begun to germinate, the desire for you grows like a brush fire nearby.
warnings: MENTIONS OF PUKE, BUT NOT ACTUAL PUKING, leon teaches you how to smoke (i don't wanna see no dumb stupid comments about "oh but leon hates smoking", well leon isn't disloyal but here we are), brief use of (adjective) girl (atta girl, good girl, silly girl), praise, mentions of misogyny (not from Leon ofc), awkward, tense ass convos, a fuckton of desc. and a little description, no sex (yet ;) ), cussing, descriptions of fucking, descriptions of masturbation, semi-public masturbation, almost caught masturbating, slight corruption kink (? if you squint), alcohol consumption, use of tobacco, smoking, implied sexual references, etc.
also a/n, writing this as of feb. 2nd, 2024: 60 notes?!!!!! i was writing this for my own personal pleasure but like...??!?! i got reblogged so many times?! im gagged, tysm you guys!!! making a playlist rn, so excited to release the soundtrack. if you see little random edits, i'm probably obsessing over the fic and trying to make it perfect lol/anticipate changes. i would also like to write I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING! always communicate with your partner, discuss issues, etc. this fic is just a lil’ taboo type of fantasy, do NOT cheat on your partners.
The first time you met Leon was at a grocery store: two weeks before your husband would have any idea of his existence and one week before he had invited Leon and his wife, Ada, over for dinner.
You were picking up a bottle of red wine for you and your husband under the guise of wanting something nice for date night. The reality would actually be you were buying it for yourself after your husband decides you're not worth his affections anymore, lazily mosey on over to the spare room, and pull out his phone to text other women. The wine would be something to drink to inebriate you while you watched a shitty re-run of a sitcom from the 90s. Maybe if you got lucky, Golden Girls was on.
He was only browsing, stumbling upon the liquor section and staying to look if there would be anything worthwhile. And there was. It was you. He knew he had to think of something witty, something cool people say, before you left and thought he was some creep staring at you because he saw a smidgen of your breasts in a magazine.
"You're a famous model, right?" He asked.
Oh, how stupid he felt. He was a chronic overthinker: thinking of every last terrible scenario, a trait he picked up after becoming an agent. This had certainly felt like one of the worst options he picked, especially with how you would--
You interrupted him.
"Yeah, that's me." The subtle sweetness, the slight rasp in your voice was better than anything any street drug could offer with the amount of dopamine flooding into his brain: overloading every neuron, synapse, dendrite, and cell membrane in his body.
But for whatever reason, he stretched his hand outwards and lazily grinned towards you. "I'm Leon."
"Nice to meet you. Well, I'd say my name but y'know..." He nodded in an awkward agreement before you could even finish your sentence, but not daring to go as far to interrupt you. He felt as if he already started off the conversation with a cumbersome beginning.
"Right, right. So, that's your real name? I see a lot of models use stage names n' stuff like that." He adjusts his weight from one foot to the other, switching the hand holding his grocery basket from his right to his left. He felt so...awkward around you. Maybe it was the fact you were a famous model, or maybe it was the fact you were just so calm.
The joke causes a soft chuckle to leave your lips and the mere look of a fleeting moment of bliss to cross over your features makes his knees turn into gelatin. Those nerves solidify into stone when the overwhelming sense of guilt hits him like a tidal wave but allows it to wash over him for the sake of continuing the conversation.
"Yeah, just my regular name. I'm not that creative outside of modeling. Usually the photographers do the thinking and the creative processes for me." He chuckled, shaking his head and barely moving himself a little closer. Leon wanted to sink in that gentle, warm, and soft presence you carried around with you. Your aura felt comforting: like a hug after a tough day: it had felt so much more different than his wife. True, Ada could be affectionate but that's usually only after something good has happened to her or Leon was her last resort of attention. He really hated how much he would act like an obedient dog, awaiting her arrival home, coming back to her after she's treated him like dirt. You? You felt so goddamn altruistic and considerate. And he's only known you for three minutes.
You notice he's gone silent and you're silently hoping he thought you were cool. Cool. Like a teenager trying to fit in. You silently cringe at yourself until he smiles at you, almost like he's signaling you to continue the conversation. You can't think of any conversation starters. And you're a model for gods sake. You're usually so outgoing and social with other people but now it's like a cat came by and stole your voice box. Thankfully, he takes over that portion for you.
"Buying wine?" He knew it was dry as all hell but he wanted to steer the conversation away from him being a fan of your modeling gigs. No, he just wanted to talk to you and discover what you were like behind the camera. (Okay, and maybe he wanted to see if you'd flirt with him.)
"Yup. But I'm just buying wine for..." You paused, about to say 'for me and my husband' but your throat becomes dry whenever you feel like you're about to announce it to him. "...Myself."
He smiles. He likes that you're awkward in real life. The fact made you feel more real, like you weren't just some sexy model with expensive tastes and a bratty attitude. You were a person like anyone else.
"Right. Me too, just uh...just browsing." You nod, fidgeting anxiously with the sleeves of the coat you decided to toss on last minute before leaving the house.
The conversation went on to end when you eventually realized you would be home late. Although you thought that worrying your husband a little would be the thing that reignited the spark in your marriage, you knew that punctuality was a habit you'd like to upkeep. That, and you also knew if you talked to this handsome stranger for longer, you'd cheat on your husband.
That night, Leon had fallen asleep to the thought of you for the first time. Soft little visions of pressing his lips against yours, caressing your cheek softly and whispering sweet nothings into your ear, etc, etc, cheesy lovey dovey bullshit. So much more different than the truly filthy thoughts he had about you nowadays.
You're torn from your conversation with your friends when you make eye contact with him. You can practically feel his eyes travel from the hair at the highest point on your head to the very last bit of your black, leathery heels with perfect pretty pearls embellished on the pump. For a moment, you feel like you're trapped in some type of horny labyrinth while you stare longingly at him.
He's ripped out of his own longing by the feeling of your husband's hand slapping his back. Ada sat beside Leon with her arm protectively wrapped around his bicep. You felt as if the gesture were a signal to everyone at the party that Leon belonged to her. He was under her control, nobody else's. Or maybe the protective message was for her husband, as if he was an unruly friend to her husband. And you could agree with that. You fell in love with your husband because he was wild and care-free but after the diamond ring was slipped onto your ring finger, you realized he was also carefree in the sense that hurt you: talking to other women behind your back, and leaving for days at a time only to come back inebriated. But you stood by his side, no matter what. You hated how you felt like a doormat but you didn't know what else to do besides stay married and play the role of an oblivious wife while your husband fucks other women in various positions. In a way, you and Leon sat in the same loveless boat. Who knew when that same boat would be shaking from the violence of the both of you fucking, clothing pulled out and to the side instead of being fully taken off.
Your thoughts become interrupted by an unmistakably handsome voice.
"Hey."
You feel a hand being placed upon your lower back except it's so much more different than your husband's. The palms were rough, callouses inside the nooks and crannies, and pulsing veins make you all dizzy if you thought about it for too long. His voice was dampened with some undertone of lust, his fingers prodding into the skin of your sides. He's always been a little too handsy for a man that's supposed to happily married. But you always figured touch was how he communicates: touch. But he's never touchy with your husband. Or any of your friends. And he missed you? Sure, your're friends due to the fact your husband was friends with Leon. (Even though you met him first, but I digress.) The simple phrase had your mind reeling, cheeks flushed red due to the hidden intimacy of it all. His wife shoots him a look and his hand immediately retreats back to his side, fighting the urge to palm the engorged erection struggling against the seam of his boxers.
"Haven't seen you in so long, hm? Thought you disappeared on me for a minute." He's holding his facade of being totally and irrevocably in love with Ada up and steady. Like he had no feelings for you other than being friends.
"Of course not." You murmur, feeling a hearty chuckle reverberate from his chest. He takes his index finger and his thumb and gently swiping it against your chin.
"Atta girl." And of course, with how hoarse his voice is, your panties are instantly puddled with a thick pool of arousal. You hate his stupid, thick, sexy, and deep voice. You especially hate his voice whenever you imagine him degrading and praising you whenever your husband was away and you just happened to have your hand down your underwear, playing with your clit to ease the throbbing impulses you felt for Leon. He gives your back a single pat before moving back to stand beside his wife. You really hate that you feel jealousy flare like wildfire within you, but you brush it off.
Everyone would eventually be drawn to the several dining tables that were arranged in a group and had golden candlesticks and smooth white tablecloths on top. Once you are seated, you observe that Leon appears to be striving extra hard to guarantee his place beside you. He looks right at you for a brief moment. And only then can you see, just a hint of thirst sprouting in his eyes, before he glances away from you and gives Ada a quick smile while patting her thigh.
It's only a few minutes before Leon decides to break the awkward silence.
"How's that modeling gig going?" You nod, gulping down way too much champagne.
"Good, been going good. Have to admit it gets a little boring posing in front of the camera after a while but can't bite the hand that pays you, right?" You joke, and the table laughs with some sense of jealousy.
"Nice to hear. What was your latest shoot?" He asked, leaning forward in a sudden rush of intrigue. Then those words pass your lips. Words he had never anticipated, even in his wildest guess (oddly.)
"A lingerie shoot. For Chanel."
The table goes quiet. And everyone, including your dumb-ass husband, look at you. Someone (Ada) clears their throat in the dining room, hinting at you to elaborate and it's almost like you suddenly developed to ability to hear from light years away.
Leon, who had just finally got his goddamn boner under control feels his cock twitch back to life, fully hard instead of a semi this time. And correct him if he's wrong, but he starts to feel pre-cum smearing his dress pants. He's thankful he chose the black slacks instead of his lighter colored ones otherwise this would be downright humiliating.
"Sorry, um...I did an intimates photo-shoot for Chanel a few weeks ago for their new line of clothing." That seems to help lighten the mood a lot more because everyone goes back to their conversation with their respective friends, the embarrassing "confession" from you immediately leaving their minds. "The theme was Overtime. Like, staying later in the office with my shirt unbuttoned and stuff. Nothing that interesting."
The table simultaneously nodded, Leon going as far to excuse himself for a cigarette.
"If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go have a smoke." Leon scoots out from his seat, heading towards the upstairs balcony to take care of business. Asshole, leaving me with his mean ass wife.
You decide to join him outside.
The air had finally gotten too tense, felt too judgmental for your taste. Scampering outside, you're met with the sight of Leon smoking a cigarette outside. That's odd: you've usually pegged him to be the straight-laced, no-nonsense type of man yet here he was, smoking a cigarette while leaning against the balustrade of their friend's top floor home. At the sound of the balcony door opening, he turns his head to see what you're doing out here. His eyes scan you, almost like he would while he's in combat but it's more or less to get another glimpse of the outfit you were wearing tonight. Okay, and maybe he wanted to commit the sight of you to memory.
"You alright?" He asked, trying his best to look straight forward when you step closer and cross your arms over the balustrade.
"M'fine, just needed a minute of fresh air, I think." When you sit beside Leon, there's a few things you notice. The first was his outfit. A white button-up that usually would be covered by his black suit jacket, though he left it behind on his chair in the dining room. There's also mentioning his blacks slacks, fitting his muscular thighs a bit tight but loose enough so they're comfortable. Then there's the dress shoes, ones he wore at his wedding due to how overly formal they looked. Maybe he wanted to get some more use out of them? Who knows.
"What about you? Why are you out here?" You decided to be the one to take the reigns since the air outside had become incredibly awkward as well. "Same. Thought I'd take a minute of fresh air, you know?"
The second thing you notice about Leon is how much he calms you. More importantly, how much you never noticed that you were anxious when you were around others. He had this aura of relaxing or maybe you were just buzzed, who knows that either? Maybe it's the cigarette, speaking of...
"I haven't smoked since college. Cigarettes, I mean. Don't think I even know how to do it anymore." The confession makes his head tilt to the side, now taking more of an interest in the conversation than before. He grinned wolfishly, taking your chin in one of his thick and strong hands and pulling your head forward. For a second, you could almost be dumb enough to think he'd be moving in for a kiss. Of course not. You'd never be that lucky.
"Open f'me, sweetheart." And like an obedient puppy, you opened your mouth just enough so your pretty pink-shaded lips could be parted. He placed the cigarette on your lip, the moisture making the filter stay in your mouth alongside his index and middle finger holding it up, thumb brushing your chin. Little hazes of grey smoke dance along your tongue without even taking a sip of the smoke yet, your lips trembling with a lustful agony.
"Now close your mouth..." He whispered, his damp and hot and horny breath hitting your ear like an affectionate declaration of love. "And inhale."
You close your lips around the cigarette, faintly tasting the flavor of him where he had sucked on the cigarette. You got notes of citrus, rum or some expensive, top-shelf label of whiskey he used to help quell the pain he experienced on grueling missions, tobacco, and maybe even the slightest hint of his wife's lipstick. Chanel's Rogue Allure, if you had to guess correctly. "...Now hold it..."
You held it.
"Silly girl." He whispered, pulling the cigarette away from your lips while you slowly exhaled the rest of the smoke you've been holding in your mouth and then some. You can't tell if it's because of the alcohol, Leon's presence, or your mere anxiety but you begin to feel dizzy. Thankfully Leon seems to swoop in with his questions to keep your head in the game. Bless him.
"Why'd you need a minute, huh?"
For a minute there, you didn't know how to respond. Looking down at the leathery pumps you chose for the evening, you begin to wonder why you even chose them instead of answering his question. But you answered him. Eventually.
"I'm just tired. This whole night just seems a bit…” You gesture to the party in the background. “Fake. I don’t want to be here."
He hummed in agreement, but it felt like more of a signal for you to keep going. "I'm also just terrible at making conversation. Especially when it's awkward and silent."
His eyes flicker down to the pumps he'd already stared at tonight, not finding an interest in them anymore than your own body. He tucked his lip between his teeth, pulling the pink flesh away from his mouth before he spoke up again. "You're not that bad, you know? I think you're pretty good. How about this?"
He pauses. Then a beat passes.
"Tell me something true. Tell me something you wouldn't brag to anyone about." He moved his cigarette to rest on the balustrade instead of the space between his fingers. "Something that's yours...and only yours."
You look at Leon with wide eyes, mouth agape as you struggle to answer his question. Your eyes rake down his face from the space between his eyebrows to his parted, pink lips: just a little chapped from the cold chill of the night air. You wanted to kiss him. All of those times you've had him over for dinner, all of those times you've spent with your hand down your panties while your husband was away on "business": dreaming of his best friend, Leon, and god, all of those times you thought about throwing caution to the wind and leaning in to press your lips against his: the sum of all of those moments had you quivering for more.
But you'd never cheat. You have a reputation. You have a husband that gifted you the pretty diamond ring on your finger. But how did it always feel so...impossible? Like you couldn't live another day if you weren't able to fuck Leon like a rabid dog in heat. But he was staring at you, almost as if his eyes were laser beams and searing holes into your skin: you had to answer.
"I don't know what I could tell you that's only mine." You chew on your lip. "Huh. How about..."
How about the fact I wanna kiss you? I wish it was you I was in bed with rather than my stupid, cheating husband? The fact you are so much hotter than him?
"I hate being a trophy."
And that brings the biggest grin on Leon's face. A massive shit-eating grin. Leon had gone stir crazy. He wanted to peel your entire being open, see all of the nooks and crannies of your soul and devour it whole. But now wasn't the time to scare you away: even if he wanted to fuck you, you were still a friend to him. So he calmed down. "I can't say that's too surprising. I mean, who would? Being able to be pretty and have money being tossed at you is nice until you want something deeper. Then it seems like one of the only things that are scarce in your life."
You nod, letting out a breath of consolation. "That's exactly how I feel. Like my only purpose is to sit still, look pretty, serve my husband, and be a hole when he needs it."
His eyes become downcast, looking down at the garden on the ground level of the restaurant. "I get what you mean."
The moment was interrupted by a waiter peeking out on the two of you: head poked outside of the door that lead to the outside area. He pulls his hand away from your soft skin and back to his side, sighing wistfully that tonight wouldn't be the night he gets to act on his desires for you. Damn it all to hell.
"You should head back. I'll be back, yeah?" You nod and within a few seconds, you've returned to your spot at the dinner table. He sighs, hand slipping down to palm at his erection. Fuck. Can't go back like this.
Just resist. You're just another woman. You have a husband, He thinks to himself, I'm married to a lovely woman. I am a faithful husband. The silent mantra he practices on himself works about as well as a band-aid on a bullet hole.
Resist.
God, but you looked so pretty tonight. That cute jewelry set you wore with your little black dress? Hot. The smoothness of your skin?
Resist.
But he can't stop picturing you on your knees in front of him, sucking on his cock. The sounds your perfect, wet mouth would make. How he'd ease himself down your throat. How you'd whine.
Resist.
Or how about when he could be fucking his cock into your tight, wet, and warm cunt? The tip of his dick kissing your cervix? Or what about the positions he could force your body into? Like having his arm around your throat, bicep curling into your mouth to muffle your moans from his wife hearing? Or how one of his hands would be gripping your hips while he needily plowed into your pussy, while you begged him to let up.
Resist.
Resist.
Fuck it.
In the few moments after he's excused himself from you, he's already rushing to the upstairs bathroom of the restaurant: thanking the holy beings above for making it a single stall bathroom for his jerking pleasure. He hastily unbuckles his belt with one hand, other hand impulsively opening Twitter as a first resort to find some fashion fanatic post about the slutty lingerie photo-shoot you did for Chanel. Alas, you're still a bit of an undiscovered goddess in the modeling industry at the moment: so Google is his next best option. He pulls out his half-hard but hardening cock from his jeans before he can even find your photo-shoot and gives it a quick few pumps to ease the throbbing that's starting to build up in his loins. Eventually, he finds it. Thank fucking god because the creativity for his fantasies are beginning to run quite dry. And instantly he's grunting and groaning while he strokes his cock and scrolls through the multiple scandalous photos the photographers took of you.
"Fuck." He winces in pleasurable agony as he stares at quite possibly his favorite photo of you. The photo was in black and white: theme being "Overtime" like you mentioned. The white button up shirt was undone, revealing you had nothing on underneath, and allowed for the side of your perfect breasts to be revealed. If he squinted just a little harder, he could see your puffy nipples threatening to peek out of the shirt. He tried squinting a little harder to see your nipples a little easier. And oh my god.
You have piercings?! He almost shot his entire load on the spot. God, he needed to fuck you. And hard. He groans as he feel himself get closer to orgasm. Closer, and closer, until--
"Leon?"
Fuck. It was you. God, of course you're so goddamn sweet, checking up on him to make sure he's okay. He didn't dare stop stroking himself off, especially not when he's got jerk-worthy material of you almost catching him. That's also not mentioning the soft intonations of your almost innocent voice right there. He's trying not to cum too quick, wanting to savor those images for as long as he could but he also realized his wife might start asking some questions and she wouldn't be on the other side of the door if she came upstairs.
"F-fuck, yeah?" He responded after much too long of hearing your sweet voice. "Did you need something?"
"Are you okay? I just got worried when you left. You've been gone for like..." You check your wristwatch: a classic and dainty Timex from the 80s with a blank band that wrapped around your wrist snugly.
"Fifteen minutes. Do you need water? Ibuprofen?" He shakes his head as if you could see him while he continues to jerk himself off, hand swirling in a sort of cranking motion as he tries to work his cock to orgasm. But his pre-cum isn't coming out fast enough, not as fast as the pumping motions his hand was doing right now, so he spits in his hand before bringing his palm back down to his cock and lathering his dick in spit. You believe him enough to think he might be getting ready to vomit.
"Nah, jus'...ngh, drank too much, I think." Please keep talking, He selfishly thinks to himself.
"Oh, okay. Well, if you need anything, just text me?" He nodded, grunting out a thank you while he continues to dream of ruthlessly fucking you until you're embedded into his mattress. He wants you. He needs you. He feels himself get a little closer until he finally releases into his fist. His hot and sticky cum ran down his palm while the waves of post-orgasmic bliss and post-nut clarity simultaneously moved together as one. For a few minutes, he's panting like a rabid dog in heat until his breath eventually stills and he's able to walk downstairs and look his wife in the face while giving her the impression that he definitely didn't just masturbate to his best friend's wife.
When he sits down at the table, the first person he makes eye contact with is you. You smile at him, mouthing a "you okay?" because, of course, you're still worried about him being sick. He nods with a grin peeled onto his face. Because he came to the sound of your voice.
And you didn't have a fucking clue.
credits:
snoopy divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more
heart divider by @saradika-graphics
#leon kennedy smut#leon kennedy#leon smut#resident evil 4#leon kennedy x reader smut#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x y/n#leon kennedy x you#resident evil#resident evil vendetta#resident evil 4 remake#re4r!leon kennedy x reader#re2r!leon kennedy x reader#death island leon#death island#death island leon kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy#leonscottkennedy#leon kennedy x ada wong#leon kennedy x oc#leon s kennedy x reader#leon kennedy fanart#resident evil x reader#re4 remake#re4#long reads#leon kennedy fanfic#re2 remake#re2 leon
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